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[ - ] High School results are up 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 03.18.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Yes. Anyone else try downloading their results letter and getting a disaster? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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Yes, gobbledygook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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Try downloading in Chrome or Firefox (seems to be an issue with the way they formed the url... it will fail in many browsers) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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yes - it works on Chrome [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 09:07 PM Flag
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Correct , cannot decipher but offers are clear . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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I got the letter on MySchools. Worked fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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The letter was garbage, but MySchools showed the results on the webpage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Vent. I truly love DH and never doubt our marriage but I am sick of carrying all the stress of it. I make 2/3 of the 300k HHI, manage all bills, insurance, school apps, appts. for SN DS...basically anything logistical/financial/complicated. All the stressful stuff. DH manages the house, dog, cooking, takes DS to some appointments when he can...which is important but doesn't carry the same urgency or stress factor. He offers to take things off my plate, but then when he does he takes too long to do them...or doesn't get the right result because he's not aggressive enough (advocating for EI services etc.) so I don't want to give him anything on my to do list. And it's a bad cycle. He wants to help and I don't know how to let him. WWYD? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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Assign him the less important things and then force yourself to stop checking up on him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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This. Solved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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I am trying to do this. Really trying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Is he low T? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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You area dh aren't you.No woman would come plIn about a dh who worked full time did all the cleaning and housework. You do know making h twice the money doesn't mean your job is twice as hard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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I am not DH and it doesn't have to do with our jobs. My point is just that I carry the financial pressure on top of everything else. I actually don't think my job is 2x as hard. It just pays more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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You were probably attracted to him because he chilled you out. He was likely attracted to you because you are like his mom and you take care of everything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Ha - yes! I do like how chill he is it's a good counter-balance to me and his parents do have a similar dynamic. I was so much more laid back before having a child with SN. It's made more anxious and stressed about everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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I totally understand — children change everything. Hang in there. You guys are doing great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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Thanks, we're trying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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Get down off the cross. We need the wood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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There is a subreddit called fencesitters. Tell your story there so people who aren't sure whether to have a family can learn from you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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I would gladly take him off tour hands [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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Except most women have the mental load and the actual day to day cooking and cleaning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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Omg yes! This is it exactly. I always tell him that if I have to tell him what to do then that's half the work and I might as well do it myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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managing employees is work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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You can’t have it both ways. He won’t get good at things he never or rarely does. He may not do it your way, but he can learn to get things done. You need to let go. Or did you really choose an man who is stupid and incompetent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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Hi, I made 80% of the money, and DH cooked, shopped. He did set up all the autopay etc. Did a bad job of investing so I took it over. Cooking was hit or miss, not regular. We are out/ ordered in mostly. He didn’t do a lot with kids bc he hired babysitters.. his was a work from home type gig. He had a lot of fun.. golf, ski, play guitar, be in a band, try his hand at various entrepreneurial things, hi functioning alcoholic. Nice guy but I totally understand what you are saying.. ineffective at tasks where you would have gotten a better result. So I’ve figured out what he’s good at and just give him that to do. Also, keep him very busy so he has little time to play. I never expected him to take advantage of me and let me kill myself working the way he did. It just happened.. kids came and made sense for him to be the sah parent. He did ok.. but like sausage.. best not to see it being made. Bottom line; men suck at childcare and housekeeping. Sorry, no advice.. just empathy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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No men don’t suck at this. They are *allowed* to suck at it because people and society enable them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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House, dog, and cooking sounds pretty good to me!! DH and I have similar jobs and income. He does bills, car, dog, dentist, ophthalmologist, vacations, laundry, and 1-2 school drop offs. I manage house, groceries, most cooking, pediatrician, extracurricular activities, camps, clothes, presents, play dates. It works pretty well. I do more of day to day and he does bigger picture items. Can you autopay bills? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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You are type A. You need to learn to deal with how others do things. Not everyone has the same level of urgency as you do. You're the reason for your stress. Not dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 09:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Whats with women in their 20s and 30s love affair with Target and Costco? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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I don't know about Costco, but Target is about cheap thrills. You get a dopamine hit by spendign money but you don't feel bad because everything is cheap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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This is how I feel about Walmart. Did my monthly run this morning. It makes me feel rich to know I can buy anything in the whole damned store. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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I've gotten a couple of nice shower curtains from Target and I'm 55. I have no issues with either store, although I don't frequent them that often (don't have a Costco membership and both stores are not on my way to anything). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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What's with women on UB making up straw men? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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based on the clientele, i think the love for target and costco spans generations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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Yeah, my 75 year old BIL is always in Costco when he calls DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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I'm in my 40s and I love Target. Especially when I get to go to a suburban one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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I was visiting my parents in NJ this weekend and got to go to 2 suburban ones. I got so confused because layout was so similar (Princeton and Manalapan, NJ). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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I hate Target and I have never been to Costco. I hate "stuff" though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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I love Costco because I have 3 tweens, they eat like a small army and grocery prices in manhattan are totally insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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There are Instagram accounts of all things Target. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:49 PM Flag
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I am in my 50s and do most of my weekly shopping (cereal, produce, etc) at my local Target. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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I buy a lot of my running gear at Target, which stocks Champion's "off brand". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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I used love Target for cheap and cute kids clothes and occasionally women’s clothes. But after their remodel and brand changing I find them meh. Not crazy about the Cat and Jack kids brand. Lines are super slow and long, while a group of 3-4 “team members “ huddle around figuring out break schedules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 09:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Are DOE high school results out yet ? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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our school sent email saying 'they believe sometime after 5pm' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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3:30pm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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Oh stop. You don't know! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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that's what someone on theschoolboards.com was told at a family welcome center [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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At least when schools handed out the letters you knew when you were getting them (aside from wagner, which snail mailed) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Can I break up with a guy for spelling chemo as kemo? He is nice but.... 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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Yes, do him a favor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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Really? Kemo? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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Sure, Chemeaux would have been better, but I'm pretty flexible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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Quimeaux [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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<3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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Kemo was Jack Abbott's illegitimate son with Luan from his time in Vietnam [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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I like this. And I think your sentiment was lost on OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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;) very good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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That’s pretty bad. I personally wouldn’t be able to tolerate a moron. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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I would pass on that one.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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Maybe he meant Okemo...where you talking about skiing? Maybe he meant Keto...where you talking about dieting? Maybe he meant Nemo...where you talking about movies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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or Nanaimo...were you talking about British Columbia? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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autocorrect is my own worst enema [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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HAHHAA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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That's worse than your/you're [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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He probably got confused with keto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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Yes you absolutely can, and possibly should. I broke up with a guy who had never heard of Martin Luther (not King) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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I support this. I broke up with a guy who hadn't heard of Jane Eyre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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ETA: He is now a billionaire's child and his non-working spouse is a very happy mother of 4, so joke's on me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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What’d the context ????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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His coworker had cancer. He texted she had to go in for kemo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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What kind of job does he have. Maybe he’s never been exposed to serious illnesss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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Is this his only fault? Maybe he has dyslexia. But since you're asking the question, I assume you want a reason to break up with him. So go ahead. But no, I don't think it's a valid reason on its own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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Is this his only spelling/grammar mistake or is he consistently bad. I am a nerd so I might hold this against him unless he has a winning personality and openly admits to being a bad speller. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Any good Miami Beach hotel recommendations? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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Nobu [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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Isn’t that a restaurant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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you're welcome. It's also a great location...not too noisy but close enough to most things. And if you're lazy, can grab a nice Nobu dinner right in the hotel :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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One Hotel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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The Cadillac [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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St Regis in bal Harbour is amazing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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+1! Much quieter and lots of religious Jews ... not your party scene hotel. But extremely nice hotel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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fountainebleau is fun! there is always something interesting going on there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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Ugh. Fontainebleau sucks. It's an overpriced Sheraton with miserable service, a 21% service fee on everything, and it's far from everything. I'd say much worse, but a friend of a friend owns it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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One Hotel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Totally depends on your budget. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] clueless parent here - how will my child receive their High School placements? hand-delivered letter - email? I think my older child was handed a letter a couple of years ago in last period. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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You will verandah with a link to your MySchools account. Also you will get a letter in the mail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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Verandah? You will get an email [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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today online at myscools account [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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What time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Did you get an email from DOE over the weekend? It was from HSEnrollment. If you didn't get it I would worry that you aren't on their list for some reason. Just log into myschools once you hear others have gotten. Go now and make sure you know your password. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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thanks and I did get the results [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 09:21 PM Flag
[ - ] I took a bottle of wine to a casual dinner party yesterday and the hostess put it out for people to serve themselves. It was the only bottle of wine, lots of Guinness, so I assume I am the only person that brought wine. I noticed two guests each helped themselves and there was a about a half a bottle left. Before I could get a bit (I don't like Guinness), another woman poured the rest into her tumbler. Would you find it rude to empty a half bottle of wine into you own glass at a party with other guests? 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:59 PM Flag
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I would think she might have already had a lot to drink. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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The hostess provided zero wine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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No wine. It was St. Patricks theme with corned beef, potatoes, Guinness, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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She should have accepted the wine as a histess gift then and out it away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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Then OP still would not have gotten any. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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This is why a bring two bottles. One for the party and one for me! (I only drink white. Red wine gives me migraines.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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Do you keep your bottle tucked under your arm? How do you prevent others from drinking it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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I let them know I only drink white. Its kind of inferred at that point that the bottle is staying with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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That’s weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Or maybe I just like to drink white wine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Lesson learned. Next time stash one or two of those mini wine bottles in your bag and chug in the bathroom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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Heh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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A bit rude, but remember that the hostess is not required to serve what you brought at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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I take no issue with the choice the hostess made. If she had put it away I would have stayed with sparkling water. I just could not believe the other guest thought that was appropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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Well it’s never polite to take the last of any food or drink at a party, but on the other hand, with one bottle of wine to go around it’s unreasonable to think you would have gotten a second glass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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I got NO glass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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Buy a bottle for yourself, go home, put on your most comfortable sweats, turn on the TV and get buzzed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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So what happens when everyone is too polite to take the last of something? We end up with 10 open bottles of wine with a glass left in each and a.dozen serving trays with a couple of crackers and discarding sticks? How is this better than taking the last of something? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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Toss the food, keep the wine, LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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It’s more polite, not less wasteful. But there shouldn’t be ten different wines anyway. There should be the one or two the host supplied. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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This. If OP was bringing the wine to be part of the meal, she should have brought enough for everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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Isn't it up to the hostess to decide whether to put the wine away or serve it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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Kind of, but the hostess should have planned a menu including beverages that didn’t require additions. It isn’t like a bunch of college kids who can’t afford to provide the whole meal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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PP - no, that's not so: guests aren't responsible for any part of catering unless it's potluck-style. The other guest was wrong, but it's time to smile and talk to the other guests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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But OP brought wine for herself to drink because she wanted to drink wine. She is in violation here too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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How is OP in violation for bringing a hostess gift? The host could have chosen to not serve the wine and keep it for herself. Would OP then be in violation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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No, but it sounds like she brought the wine expecting to drink it at the event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:50 PM Flag
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She states above that she would have been fine with drinking the water provided by host. Hoping for some to drink if the host chooses to serve it is completely normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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It seems a bit much but I wouldn't go so far as to call it rude. As a frequent host, I want people to consume the things I put out. She didn't know you wanted a glass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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I think it's rude to host a party and not provide any wine options, even with the St. Patrick's day theme. If I have people over, I usually make Sangria, but also offer wine and beer, and to a lesser extent vodka and rum, which people rarely want, but I still let them know there are options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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You sound like a considerate host. The mother of one of DD's classmates entertains a lot, and serves nothing but champagne! So it's fun to be invited and I drink a lot of water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Thank you. I thought this was basic stuff, but clearly it isn't. I just can't imagine inviting someone to my house and not having something for them to eat or drink. I also feel like if you're inviting someone to your house, shouldn't you have an idea of what they drink and want to have some to offer? That mom sounds pretty selfish, bc I know very many people who don't even drink champagne so she's clearly not paying attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Well, it's hard to pay attention when you're getting hammered on champagne!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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It sounds like a heavy pour, but not inherently rude. I'm guessing she assumed that another bottle would be opened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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+1 When I'm a guest, I'm not assuming that there's only one bottle of anything. However, if I see that I'm about to take the last of something, I kind of look around to see if anyone else wants some so that we can split it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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I agree, it was rude. I always find it interesting when people miss the point. OP wasn't upset with hostess. She was just pointing out that at a party with only beer there was one bottle of wine. It was rude of the other guest to decide, probably because she didn't want beer either that for that reason she'd take all that was left--a half bottle-- of the only bottle of wine. No one else was rude. No need to bring two bottles. OP not complaining about lack of wine but about guest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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A half a bottle is a lot, but it sounds like she just filled her glass. That's not horrible. How was she to know it was the only bottle? She likely thought there was more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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+1 and she probably thought "let me finish this so they can open another bottle" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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But I think the point is also that the host should have had some wine to offer for her non beer drinking guests. Had she done that, the other guest would have still been rude, but at least OP would have been able to have a glass herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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What tumbler holds a half bottle of wine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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A bottle of wine is about 25 ounces and some tumblers are as large as 16 ounces. It is possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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Annoying that the hostess only served beer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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It was a St Patricks Day party! Of course the main libation was Guinness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Sounds like the hostess didn’t know her guests very well if they all prefer wine to beer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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This is a good point: I'm one of the Craft Beer Moms, and Guinness is a very distinctive taste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:10 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your thoughts on acupuncture? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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It's a placebo, but if it makes you feel better, go for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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It really help my tmj. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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I had chronic pain with my rhomboid/trapezius decade ago. Three acupuncture sessions and it's never come back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.19.19, 02:09 AM Flag
[ - ] We have a very busy weekend coming up next week. It's the whinning down of spring break, DC, has a b-day party that we RSVP to and the Next day DH and have a weeding to atttend, which DH is a grooman. We So the day before the wedding there's lot's going on . My MIL just called my DH to tell us that she has a b-day dinner for my FIL the Sat. I really don't ant to try and squeeze all this in. My MIL is notorious for planning things last minute. It's very annoying. My FIL is a an alcoholic and means to her when he's drunk. I fear he does not have much longer to live. DH will feel complelled to make the weekend work to make us happy. The dynamic of my inlaws is stressful. My DH grew up in an abusive home and at times I truly can't stand his parents. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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*winding down [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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What would the consequences be of saying "Sorry, can't make it. Next time."? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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both DH and i fear this man is going to die soon and its his 75th bday. My FIL has been on a Nasty binge with my MIL, She's 'trapped" in this crazy marriage . We've inhertiated lots of co-dependence. We don't want to be mean...DH doesn't want to go but feel obligated and i feel bad the to let him go alone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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I would say Sorry, but we have plans already. If we’d ‘known sooner we would have loved to. But didn’t your dh know his dad’s 75th birthday was coming up? Did he make other plans to celebrate it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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He would not plan anything for his Dad. His Dad at times doesn't speak to the family for months. When his drinking is worst than usually he gets nasty and after that phase gives everyone the silent treatment. My FIL once did not speak to his wife or children for 3 years even they all lived under the same roof. He would speak to the children occasionally but no interactuion with my MIL. They slept in the same bed. Just weird and crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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Then why would he even consider going to this birthday, even if he didn’t have conflicting plans? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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That might be the craziest thing I've read on UB. Your poor MIL. Go to the dinner for her sake, please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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Just do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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We'll go , be kind and then leave [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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So the wedding is on Sunday? Or is the wedding on Saturday? Why can't you tell your MIL to move the dinner to another night so you can attend...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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wedding on Sunday, however we have a a friend event that we RSVP to for Saturday, that I RSVP to a month ago and she confirmed with me yesterday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] The DOE is trying to kill me. I know I need to relax but what time is "after school"? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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Me too!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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KIL LING ME [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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You are almost there. GOOD LUCK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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Wagner says 5pm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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thanks. Maybe I'll hang my hat on that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Clinton said the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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ME TOO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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I just went to the Family Welcome Center. They told me 3:30. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:59 PM Flag
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Someone on the schoolboards.com site said she was told 330 by the family welcome center [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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This whole system is just cruel- way to turn off kids to education- I know it’s a dream, but if the unions and the city/state really cared about doing their jobs, there’d be good zoned high schools and that would be that- at any rate, good luck everyone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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Offs. This is not cruel. Nor does it turn any child against education. Have a drink [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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My daughter didn’t get a great choice and a lot of her friends had not as good test scores and grades, and got into better schools- wtf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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Go out, have a pint of craft beer, turn your phone off and read your newspaper. You'll get the e-mail, don't worry about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Surprise, surprise 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Dd, 15, has no limits with oversharing. She Feels like she has to answer all of her friends’ questions no matter how personal, and her friends sometimes abuse it. How do I teach her to set up the boundaries but not to be considered unfriendly? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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Meh I'm a big oversharer. I'm just very open about stuff. My mom keeps everything on the DL. I have learned over time. It is only if SHE regrets sharing that it is a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Obviously she doesn't think she is oversharing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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Is she anxious? Anxious people do this because they feel like they owe everyone an explanation for their choices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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Interesting, it might be the case. How can I stop her from being anxious? Is it caused by insecurities? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 10:02 PM Flag
[ - ] 9yo DD is painfully shy, mostly with adults. Won't speak when asked a question, just nods head etc. She has some friends but won't just go start playing/talking with kids she doesn't know. Maybe not a huge deal and hopefully she will grow out of it but anything we can do to help her along? DH and I are not the most extroverted people, so that can't help. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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My daughter was like this and now at 14 she has grown out of it, though I wouldn't call her an extrovert. If you can get her in a drama or improv class, it will help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Practice with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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It’s ok to be an introvert. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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I recommend Susan Cain's "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking". Quiet is nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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I have this book but am so intimidated by its small font and length aaaargghh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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It's actually a pretty easy read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:49 PM Flag
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I hate small talk too, but there's a difference in shutting down a conversation politely and acting scared and ignoring the other person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Introvert does not equal shy. You need to teach her to speak up. After about age 8 it’s not cute when kids can’t answer a simple question. Role play with her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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This can be selective mutism and there are things you can do to help your dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:40 PM Flag
[ - ] My 2nd grade daughter's BFF since kindergarten is sweet but I absolutely detest her father. I know I can't control my daughter's friends but how do I explain to her that she can't go to her best friend's house if the dad is there. He is verbally and likely emotionally abusive against his wife and says incredibly inappropriate and misogynistic things in public. My daughter desperately wants to do sleepovers. Has anyone been in this situation? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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I would say she can’t go there but NOT tell her the reason. She’ll blab, and who knows how he’d respond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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How often is the DH home when your dd is there? Find out when he's on a business trip! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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He mostly works from home. I suspect the wife is the breadwinner. Playdates would mostly involve him being the main parent present. I think my daughter is getting more and more confused as to why I won't let her go to that house but will allow her to go to other friends' homes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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Can you just do the sleepovers at your house? My dd has a friend whose home I don't want my child in. I just keep the playdates/sleepovers at our house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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If she asks why you can just say something like "I like to have you all over here." I don't think you have to explain too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Yes, that is fine, but she has already done sleepovers at some other friends' homes. I think it's the disparity that makes her upset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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you know, even in 2nd grade she probably kind of gets it. she probably knows her friend's dad is a creep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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I have as a teacher — I see parents like this and I would never have DD sleep over their house. Stand strong. You can host all the sleepovers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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honestly as a second grader kid you barely notice the parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 11:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Captain Marvel: Okay for a ten-year-old? DH really doesn’t want to see How to Train Your Dragon. Thanks. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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LOVED HTTYD! That said, yes CM is fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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we plan to take our 6 yr old, who has already seen all the other MCU movies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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Yes! 11 and 7 DD loved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Has dc seen the other marvel movies? They all kind of continue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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Just Black Panther I think, unless DH took her to others that I don’t recall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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Yes totally fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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OP Thanks, all. Off fhey went. Enjoying the solitude here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:47 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O: Should Spence, Chapin, Trinity, Collegiate, etc cut off all their legacy applicants too? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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Sure why not? I attending a private school with a national profile. They pride themselves on not showing favoritism and gave no advantage to the children of alumni. Then they outwardly wonder why their alumni network is practically non-existent as are donations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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Dalton? Yeah, I’m an alum. They have a serious problem, a totally unsustainable business model. Their alum participation is pathetic and they wonder why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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OR: Not Dalton. But I must say I'm surprised to hear that about Dalton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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I'm a public school parent with no skin in the game, and I say no. These schools don't admit student based on merit in the first place. I'd argue that in this case a legacy ensures (in a way) that the students they are admitting are likely to already espouse the school's values, imparted on them by their parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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^very different from a university which should be more equal opportunity and merit based. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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A private university can do whatever they want to an extent, as can a private school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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Of course they both "can" do anything. The question was "should" they. While it benefits all schools and organizations to be diverse and foster innovation and new ways of thinking, lower schools can get away with having a more homogenous/selected population more than a larger university can. Not saying staying insular is what's best for the schools - just that it's not as detrimental to an elementary/high school as it is to a university. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Yes. Legacy based on racist ideals. If they kid/family is right for the school, legacy should not matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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Sure, this makes sense for a 17 year old, but how do you tell if a 5 year old and his family is "right" for the school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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you tell the parents. anyone care to write a children's book about how it feels to get rejected? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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I said how do you tell "IF" a 5 year old is right. I don't disagree that diversity is essential (I'm public school educated and parent myself), but my argument is that a legacy can't hurt when deciding if a younger child and family might be a good fit for a school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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All these recent posts from pro-Asian lobbyists are hypocritical. Asians invented all these cheating schemes and now are indignant that others dare to be doing the same? Can’t wait for NYT editorial about Asian hypocrisy and racial agenda to get rid off affirmative action, extracurriculars, and to finally turn kids into overprepping robots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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There is probably a shit ton of cheating done in China, etc. There are probably many other cheating rings within the US now. If there is a game, someone is always going to try to cheat. Just human nature. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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Asian Americans invented this cheating scheme decades ago, not just some random Asians in China. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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How do you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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Are you literate? Google is your friend. It was so widely abused that it made it into movies, tv shows, books, newspapers, there were legal cases about a ring of Asian fraudsters who organized this on a wide scale, mafia-like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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kind of like the one that just broke? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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Go back to China [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Hit a note, didn't I? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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Who cares? No one is pretending to be "purely" meritocratic. All the whining about "meritocracy" - endless whining. None of these colleges claim to be only about merit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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This. Which is why I think the Asian AA lawsuit is comical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] DD texts me: Mom, don't forget to pick me up at school at 3. Me: CURSE WORDS 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Huh?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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Guessing you forgot... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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OP. I did, but she reminded me in time to get there and pretend I didn't ... :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Imagine your cleaning lady lost the key she has with your apartment number on it somewhere in ypur apartment or building. Would you 1) ignore and figure it will show up 2) change locks 3) change locks and deduct from salary 4) terminate 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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Search party, then lock change. I'd eat the $300 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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If you have Chubb for insurance, they cover changing the locks not subject to deductible if a set of keys gets lost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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change locks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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How about changing locks to one of those combination ones? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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Do you otherwise like your cleaning lady? If she has been great so far, I would just chalk it up to everyone making mistakes. I'd change the lock if it doesn't turn up right away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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Search and change locks, or at least the cylinder to the lock she uses. Nothing good will come of making her pay for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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This. Just point out that it's extremely stupid to put personal details on keys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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* Our cleaning lady lost our key our apartment number on it somewhere in our apartment or building. Should we 1) ignore and figure it will show up 2) change locks 3) change locks and deduct from salary 4) fire her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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Are you the OP? Change the cylinder and do NOT make her pay for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:23 PM Flag
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Don't deduct anything from her salary: my first boss out of law school was so cheap that he made us buy our own yellow pads, and I've never forgotten it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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My first question is: what kind of an idiot has the apartment number on the keys? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 08:10 PM Flag
[ - ] If De Blasio's plan to change the admission criteria for the specialized schools go through, do you think that will make the schools less desirable? Do you think apps to private schools will increase? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:07 PM Flag
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What are the proposed changes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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Take top 7-8% of students from all middle schools, instead of using SHSAT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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Has he done the math on that? Sounds like that would be way too many kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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he's a dumbass, you know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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PP I did the math myself. The number of 9th graders at all specialized high schools combined equals 5.76 percent of eighth graders in public middle schools in the city. So unless the shs will enlarge class sizes, the plan would have to be more selective than just the top 7-8 percent. And that doesn’t account for kids from private schools who might want to apply to shs (and how would that work anyway?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:59 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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Yes and yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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Very little chance that this change will go through. It is now on the “back burner.” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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oh. why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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The state senator leading the committee in charge of education in NYC is John Liu. He’s Chinese and from NYC. He went to Hunter for ms and Bronx Science for hs. I doubt he wants to get rid of the SHSAT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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because it's a terrible idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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but meritocracy isn't fair. hahahahahha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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This. There was huge push back from our district. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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huge push to support or go against de blasio's plan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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A "push back" (against the plan) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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I think there are just a lot of other more pressing problems that the state needs to deal with. The SHS admission is governed by the state — at least admission to the big 3. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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most cant afford $60k per yr [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Thanks for saying this. Posted above about my district pushing back on the plan. A disproportionate number of kids come from the district's middle schools to SHS, and it's a huge immigrant population. Don't see many of them paying private school tuition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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Go back to China [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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I don’t have a drop of chinese blood you POS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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No problem, Bangladesh or North Korea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.18.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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Look in Mirror - closely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.19.19, 01:22 AM Flag
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