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[ - ] It is 53 degrees outside (I’m not in NYC). My husband and I just had a debate on whether the thermostat should be above 68. He wants it on 65. I am in jeans and a sweater. What do you set your thermostat to?? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Where are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Seattle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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san fran? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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I wish. It’s been way too hot here this month. We’re breaking records. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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65 is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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DH, if that’s you, take a hike!! I’m wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants to bed in protest... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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I put it on 68, DH pushes it to 72, repeat, then repeat again, etc. He wants to wear a tee shirt indoors yeqr round, but I prefer a turtleneck with a sweater over it and maybe a base layer under it. Cosy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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I always do 71. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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At hotels, 73 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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It was so hot today ( felt like 106 degrees) that one of our 3 central air conditioners could not cool below 82. We usually set the a/c to 80 when we're home and 83 when we are out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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DH sets it at 66, which makes it about 59 in our bedroom. Chicago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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We set ours to 70 (SF burbs) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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^^ DH would prefer cooler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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Get up and clean something. At 53 degrees, the heat shouldn't even be on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:08 AM Flag
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This - it's either putting on a sweater or burning more oil - which will eventually take care of the cold problem if you want to look at it this way. Can't believe how self-centered people still are re: climate change in 2019. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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The Rec is setting it to 68 In The winter and 78 in the summer. 53? That’s insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:44 PM Flag
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What????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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Personally, I like it slightly cold, so I'm probably with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Any MDs or anyone with experience with this on? DH is 62, never, ever gets heartburn but has had it yesterday (went away) and now again tonight. No sweating or shortness of breath. I'd say it was heartburn - which everyone gets - but for him this is so, so rare my first thought was heart attack. Unlikely? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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That was DH a month or so ago. Had two heart attacks and that was the way it exhibited. Have him get it checked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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OP: Oh dear...tell me more...and is he ok? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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He's fine now. Get it checked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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Like tonight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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If you can go to the ER for and EKG, I would. Not playing around with that again. Even if okay, you'll rest better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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An, not and [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks, doubt he will go for it, sure it is heartburn. We'll see if antacids work... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Not to freak you out but had a friend whose husband had similar symptoms. Let it go and never had it checked out. Diagnosed with esophageal cancer and died within months. Encourage him to see a doctor just to check it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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so sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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DH woke up with heartburn last week. It was food poisoning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:32 AM Flag
[ - ] After reading UB, it sounds like I don’t even want a second home, bc random people will be asking me if they can use it for free all the time...thanks for making that decision for me, UB! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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All these posts are boring. Looks like that's been going on all weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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clearly that's not truly an issue bc you can just pretend it is on some version of airbnb (or you have a property manager) and it's booked for most weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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Can you do that with family, though? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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just say, "no. it is not available for you to use." no explanation. Why is this difficult? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:09 AM Flag
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Just don't tell people you have one. If you aren't telling everyone else about the things you buy, they won't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:43 AM Flag
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This is why we refer to our 30-room mansion as “the cottage.” What self-respecting New Yorker wants to spend the weekend in a cottage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:46 PM Flag
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2nd homes are a hug money drain if you can't use them. My SIL and BIL have 2 second homes that they try to rent out, but one is useless in the winter and the other one was in Puerto Rico. They are drowning in mortgage payments. The only good thing used to be that BIL had a telecommuting job, but now he has an office job and they can't use the lake property as much as they used to. Did I mention they have 2 boats to maintain, too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:05 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I are now moving to NYC in Aug. and looking for a 3 bed/2 bath in Manhattan or Brooklyn. We have an infant so neighborhood/schools don't matter as much..we will likely go private school. Any neighborhoods where we could get something around $1M (mainly cash)? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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for a 3 bed, lol- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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Do you have commutes to consider? Your price range would put you pretty far out in Brooklyn — definitely east of Prospect Park. Would you consider the Bronx? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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You should look at schools bc 3 years will go by fast and you will probably have to rent a 2 bd/2 ba. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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You can’t get 2bed/2bath for under 1mio. You will be lucky to get one for double that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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in unicorn land [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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rent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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A 2 bedroom will suffice. No one has guest rooms in NYC. Look at a neighborhood like Sunset Park. Your money will stretch there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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3 bd/2 bath in good neighborhoods with amenities are $4M. My 3 bd./2 bath (no amenities) just went for $2.6M. So, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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Just curious because it seems a bit off. If your housing budget is $1M can you manage $50k+/year (and rising) for private school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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Check out streeteasy for listings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Fifth floor walkup in these locations: between columbus and amsterdam in the 90s, east of 2nd in the 80s, maybe Kips Bay. Walkups are tough w newborn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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Not Kips Bay, trust me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:59 AM Flag
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This. Kips Bay is pretty decently priced, but NOT $1M for a 3BR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:26 PM Flag
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In all seriousness, even if your kiddo goes to private, the neighborhood does matter. Play dates, school commutes from preschool on ... you will realize over time that you aren’t THAT flexible on neighborhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Yes but lots of good private schools in the 90s on UWS and UES. You can live within 10 blocks of many of these and get more for for your money if you live in a “worse” school district [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:29 AM Flag
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if you only have $1m to spend on a home, how do you intend to pay $50k per year for private? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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You should consider Riverdale. I live there and love it. 1M is high-end here and its a great neighborhood for families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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hahahahahahaha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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Red Hook Brooklyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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nope you will barely be able to get a 2 bedroom with 2 bath for that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Washington Heights still has some decent 3br for 1-1.2M [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:47 AM Flag
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this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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Yes, riverdale. A really nice and family friendly community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 10:51 AM Flag
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One last thing. Less private schools in BK (certainly less private schools that are considered top) so they are supper competitive now that BK has become more popular for many families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:38 PM Flag
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Lucky to get a 2BR for anywhere near that price in Manhattan. I just saw two listings for a convertible 3BR (2 BR with DR) in Murray Hill. Both surprisingly low at 1.25m and 1.19m [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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Do not buy your first year living in Manhattan. Rent a 3 bedroom on UWS or UES (Yorkville is family friendly) and get the lay of the land. You may decide downtown is better for your lifestyle. Rents for a 3 bedroom on UES can vary between $6,000 - $15,000 depending on proximity to park. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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Do you really have to buy? I would rent first to see if the neighborhood really works for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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you shouldn't buy. find a fun neighborhood like Williamsburg (there are a ton of families with babies) that has lots to do and is close to Manhattan and then do a ton of open houses all over the place. also, if you're budget is only a million, not sure you can afford private school? our apartment in Brooklyn would sell for around 2 million and we have a bunch of money in the bank, and we send our dc to public school. also, depending on the area, you may prefer your public option. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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Also, be aware some co-ops have financial liquidity requirements in addition to purchase price. When I was selling my parents’ UES 3 bed after they died, I discovered the co-op preferred all cash buyers AND would only approve purchasers who had 3x the price of the apartment in liquid assets, in addition to the all cash purchase price. Many co-ops are not this demanding, but on the other hand many require even more. Not saying this will apply to wherever you are looking, just wanted to share this delightful aspect of the Manhattan real estate market, in case you hadn’t run across it yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 01:17 AM Flag
[ - ] In reading all these posts re: being a guest at someone's house or having guests over. Why not just go to a hotel? And why not just take your shoes off? Why bitch about everything? If you're so worried about your fugly feet and your fugly socks then don't go to people's houses. And they say millennials are a bitch. Christ. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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I think it’s pretty universally acknowledged that Baby Boomers are the worst generation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Haha, it's acknowledged among entitled millennials, who were brought up by baby boomers, and who now hate their parents. (I'm gen x, in the middle, lol). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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Your dinky generation doesn’t get a say. Millennials are the largest generation and we’re sick and tired of Boomer bullshit. They screwed us on everything. You want to talk about entitled?? The screwed up housing, Social Security, the environment, Wall Street. They took theirs and don’t give a rat’s ass about their kids’ futures. What have the Boomers left for us?? Nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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Lol. Wah Wah Wah. We wan things! Give us things! You millennials want everything, without working for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:35 AM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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Boomers want everything, without working for it and without paying it forward. You know who The Worst Generation is? The so-called "Greatest Generation" -- they're the ones who raised Baby Boomers to be entitled bratty teenagers their whole lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:12 AM Flag
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If you're going to be throwing this around, at least get your facts straight. The Greatest Generation raised the Silent Generation, who in turn had the boomers. Everyone my age who I know was raised by Silent Generation people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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Nope - the greatest generation raised the boomers. The silent generation raised Gen X. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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I agree with you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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Doesn’t particularly matter whether you agree or not. F- the Boomers is a common refrain anywhere Millennials get their information. You want to live with your head in the sand, that’s on you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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Don't worry, sweetie, your kids will be saying exactly the same about you in 30 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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Found the entitled boomer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:12 AM Flag
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Lol, no. Gen X here. I mock both entitled boomers and their children, entitled millennials. I am an equal opportunity mocker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:03 AM Flag
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Don't worry. Boomers are going to start dying off very soon. The best thing you can do right now is figure out how to make money off of their declines and deaths. Their generation will be lucky to live past 85, while someone in the Millennial generation is likely to be the first person to live to be 150. "Living well is the best revenge." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:34 AM Flag
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np--There aren't enough resources on earth for people to live to 150. There are large cities running out of water right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:13 AM Flag
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There are enough resources. There isn't enough equitable distribution for 7 billion people to live t0 150 and continue at a high population growth rate. But extrapolation from current trends indicates we will hit 0 population growth at about the same time we hit 10 billion people, around the year 2100, and there are a lot of projects happening right now that are designed to accommodate high population density in small spaces with high efficiency in production, distribution, and disposal. A lot of people will starve before we get it right, but that's nothing new in human history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 10:10 AM Flag
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Lol. Maybe not. Life expectancy in the us is not going up, right now. http://fortune.com/2018/02/09/us-life-expectancy-dropped-again/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:11 AM Flag
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This. You millenials aren't going to live forever, whatever you might think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:43 AM Flag
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I'm only 55, so hopefully I have a few good years left, since I have a 12 year old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:52 AM Flag
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No, she has a bigger problem. Who will she blame when we’re gone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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You sound like my DH! LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 PM Flag
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so so agree and I'm just on the cusp of being a Gen x-er. Milliennials got screwed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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Definitely. They spent their whole lives using, and now they feel entitled to have it all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:11 AM Flag
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You mean the part where I've worked all my life, I'm still working, and will work until my 70s? I'm only in my 50s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:53 AM Flag
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LOL. ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Whatever happened to this woman? ANybody know?: DH and I are about to sign a lease on a new apartment. We had major problems a few months ago and almost divorced. During that time I opened my own no-interest credit card in case I needed it. He is controlling about money and asked me if I had any “secret” accounts and I said no. Well, the new building just ran a credit report and sure enough, it’s listed there. I know he’s going to confront me tonight and I’m nervous. What to do? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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I don't think she has updated. We told her to leave not sigh a lease with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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I might know her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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I want to know what happened to poster whose husband treated his mother to extravagant vacations and hosted her all summer long along with extended family... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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I'm surprised she hasn't updated us. She complained every few hours! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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She’s worn out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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I wonder what’s up with the stepmom whose 13 y.o. stepson stays for the summer and isn’t llowed to go to camp. Wonder what time he got up today! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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I think he is 11, not 13. Wasnt he 10 last summer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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She is working this year and her toddler is in day care. I don’t know what her DH had planned [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:05 AM Flag
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If you want to talk about yourself more, just do it. Don't post fake questions pretending to be someone else who cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:14 AM Flag
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Eh sometimes it's someone else. A lot of people were caught up in whether or not we found our remote control last week, lol. slow board [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:09 PM Flag
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OP: I'm not her. I was just interested bc I was afraid the DH was going to kill her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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yes, and she was totally against leaving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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I'm with you - guy is terrifying! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:39 AM Flag
[ - ] If you pick up flowers on the way to bring to your hostess, how much do you usually spend? Is a $20 bouquet alright? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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sure. but if it's a party, don't bring flowers that hostess has to stop what she's doing to get a vase... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Op: I’m guilty. If only 3 other people there is it okay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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I think this is a lovely gesture--vase included or not! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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I agree. I recently brought flowers to a hostess of a small gathering- she set them on the counter and at the very end of the night as I was leaving I saw them still sitting there in the paper, practically dead. Was sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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She probably forgot (I hope!). Had I noticed, I would have just put them in a large glass of water by the sink for hostess to get to after guests left. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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I think so but I always prefer potted plant like an orchid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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Please do not bring flowers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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Haha. People on here are so awful. Bring gifts, but bring the CORRECT gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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This. It's a token gift to show the host you were happy to be invited and want to say thanks. Give the flowers to DCs to make something, or put them in the composting bin. They're just flowers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:15 AM Flag
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o/t Every time I see a post about gift prices in NYC, I realize what a culture shock it would be to go back there. Where I live, I would have to go out of my way to find a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine for over €10, and even the €10 gifts would seem over the top. If you're ever on the fence about leaving NYC, don't do it, because it is nearly impossible to go back without millions in the bank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:41 AM Flag
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Do not bring flowers if they are not already in a vase. It's a hassle for the hostess to scramble to find a vase to put them in while she is dealing with other matters. Or she could just leave them in a heap on the counter to wilt. Give a potted plant like an orchid. No hassle and it keeps on blooming year after year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:28 PM Flag
[ - ] So, for a 54 year old overweight woman, I am attracting a lot of attention from several men, each of whom is so much more appealing to me than DH. Sigh. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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So for a 33 year old fat woman I get attention. Some men like fat women. And I'm sure DH gets attention as well. Such is life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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We are sexual creatures. There is a lid for every pot, and usually multiples [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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Really - how, where? 54 and single, just starting to think about dating again (and not overweight, pretty attractive relatively speaking). I feel invisible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:56 PM Flag
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Fantasy is very different from reality. It's safe to say that your reality of being single and looking for a relationship is going to be a lot more of a challenge than a married woman thinking that any man who shows any kindness wants to have an affair with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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I sense a bit of jealousy here. There are possibilities everywhere, the trick is being open to them. Start with being open and friendly to everyone and maintaining eye contact [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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Not jealous. Realistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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NP: Why would you say that? Do you measure your worth by whether a man is nice to you? I don't. I think your comment says a lot about you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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OP: a bit more than kindness, but I get your point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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You come across as safely approachable and possibly open to something on the side. Very rude to your husband, though. They are not his friends and I hope he does not know them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:11 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o For those of you who have children sharing a room, either same sex or different sex DCs, what are some ways that they maintain privacy? Any tips or tricks (e.g., type of bed, placement of furniture, curtains on bunk beds)? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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Define privacy. What exactly do you think is necessary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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op: just somehow to have quiet moments to themselves, or a sliver of their own space, especially older DCs who are often bothered by little sibling [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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Oh come on. A quiet moment by yourself is pretty easy. Your sibling is in the other room or out with friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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op: well DC has been complaining so thinking about getting something like this Bed Tent Privacy Pop: https://www.privacypop.com/ Does anyone have this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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mom above whose kids had curtains: I feel like the privacy pop bed tent would get really hot in the summer. That fabric does not look like it breathes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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my dc had a bed tent from like 5-7 years old. loved it, but they outgrow them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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NP we put curtains for each kid around their bunk. My mom sews and we got minecraft sheets. My kids loved them and used the curtains. We used the wire and clips from ikea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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to be clear- my mom sews and I bought a set of minecraft sheets that she turned in to the curtains [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Cute!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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If they are in regular twin beds (not bunk beds) I would get the bed tents from ikea. They have one that looks like a treehouse right now. How old is ds? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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https://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/40393835/ sorry i think this works on a top bunk, maybe a twin. I don't think it would work on the bottom bunk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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That’s cute too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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30 years ago, we hung a heavy curtain down the middle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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We used a shelf to work as a partial wall next to one of the beds. It created a nice enclosed area for dc. Tent or curtains seem like a great idea also. Kids need some privacy, you're totally right to be trying to give them a way to get some. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Where would you go for a 20th anniversary getaway? Restrictions are 3-5 days with direct flights. Most likely in May, June, or July. Would prefer to be out of country, but am open to domestic suggestions. Dublin, Geneva, London, Madrid, and Paris are out as both have been multiple times for work. TIA. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Amalfi Coast or if you are active, Cinque Terre (so you can get the Italian coast vibe but also hike if that’s your thing) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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Anywhere in Tuscany for 5 days would be bliss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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Iceland [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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+1 Blue Lagoon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:18 AM Flag
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That is such a short trip that I would stick close to home. No way would I fly all the way to Europe for 3-5 days (2 of which are ruined by flying anyway). Go to Maine or the Blue Ridge Mountains or something. There is a lot to see in America. See it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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Bermuda. Quick 1 hour direct flight but it feels "away" and these are great times to visit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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The flight is 2 hours, not 1, but maybe you travel on a special supersonic plane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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Oh Jesus, small difference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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Just double. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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Montreal, Mexico City, Havana [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Cartagena, Colombia — you can fly direct on JetBlue but it feels like you really went somewhere different and off the beaten path. You don’t need more than two full (non-travel) days. DH and I went and loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Plus 1 I love Cartagena! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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Montreal, Toronto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Miami or Vegas - just somewhere warm and super fun. that's too short for out of the country IMO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Too hot this time of year. Vegas is horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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Stockholm, Amsterdam, Rome, Montreal or Quebec City if you want to stay nearby. Or SF/Napa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Copenhagen if you are foodies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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May or June I would do New Orleans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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It's really hot (95+) and humid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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We went to St. John. Highly recommend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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Croatia. Cue the Game of Thrones soundtrack. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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Lisbon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:09 PM Flag
[ - ] I really can’t stand people who social climb. Why do they do that? What’s their purpose? Like you’re so obviously annoying and people know you’re a social climber. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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Example? Who are you talking about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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This is most people in my town. I think it's either deep-seated insecurity or the belief that the best possible outcomes (professionally, personally) will be achieved through the best connections. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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No one is socially higher than anyone else, so there is no where to climb to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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But, everyone has their favorite tacky people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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a lot of times theyre trying to network professionally - -and are correct that social climbing helps professionally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 10:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Desperately need help. When I went to the gym on Friday there was someone working out in the weight room that literally stunk up the whole room! Fortunately I wasn't using that area, but I smelled it just walking past the doorway. I will be using it on Monday. What, if anything can I say to them? I'm talking, AWFUL! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Why would you want to speak to them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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OP :Because they stink! BO stink! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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n.p. I would either complain to the gym management or walk into the weight room holding a towel over your nose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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OP: on Friday, someone in charge did say they would have to get someone to talk to Mr(s).Stinky. But they didn't go over right then and there. I can't work out holding a towel!;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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The towel is just for dramatic effect upon entrance to the weight room [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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TY / LOVE this idea! :) :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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When you get there, check the room, first thing. If it smells bad, ask the front desk to put fans in, blowing air in and out of the room, and to turn up the air/ventilation. Do something else for twenty minutes while it airs out. Do not let them spray air freshener. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:43 AM Flag
[ - ] During labor, how often is there a nurse in the room? How much help do they offer with pain/contractions? And how many times will a doctor come in? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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Things may have changed since when I was in nursing school, but when I was in L&D a nurse was always in the room during labor, and they were always able to deal with pain management. The doctor comes in for showtime. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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they are not in the room the whole time. they come in and out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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I had a DC in the U.K. so perhaps it’s different here but the nurse (midwife) was in and out of the room all the time. She monitored epidural and got me more when I needed it. dr came in a few times, maybe 2 plus for a delivery in ~10hr window. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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If you get an epidural it won’t hurt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Mine did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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My experience at a large NYC hospital? No one came in ever during my labor, so zero help with pain and contractions. My husband had to drag the nurses in from the nurses station when I had to start pushing. I felt the standard of care was very poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Sounds about right. NYU? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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Weil Cornell actually [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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Both the dr and nurse come in and out to check on you. Unless you’re really dilated, the dr is busy tending to other patients depending on how many are delivering at that time. They will keep offering epidural even if you don’t want it but there is a window when you can get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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This - the hospital had a sophisticated system of sensors that could monitor baby's heart beat and other things remotely. So there were long stretches of time with nobody in the room but when doctor or nurse would enter, they already knew how the baby was doing, the number, intensity and frequency of contractions, etc. They were multitasking between several delivery rooms but when it was our baby's time we got full attention. There was no epidural so a few student doctors came to witness the birth as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:27 PM Flag
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I was hooked up to all those monitors too and was fully dilated and pushing before anyone checked on me. It was a fast labor, so no one believed I was dilated yet. Missed my chance to get an epidural because no one ever checked me. Still very angry about the whole process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:24 PM Flag
[ - ] DC ran through the sprinklers today in Central Park playground. Does he have to shower tonight or can it wait until tomorrow? DH says there might be bacteria in the water? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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He is fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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I saw a dead pigeon in one of the water pools when my kids were little. Shower. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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Omg! Did your children SURVIVE?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Yes. I owe the credit to the shower. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Cracking up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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Well obviously the water is collected and pumped back up again through the sprinkler, enriched with dead pigeon juice. By the way, last year while walking my dog late in the park, I saw a homeless person washing his crotch using a water fountain. And I can tell you that he did a thorough job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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That bacteria is the only thing standing between a toddler's health and a dozen autoimmune disorders. Embrace it. And get your kids out more... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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It’s clean tap water so no need to worry but he probably sweated so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm pretty sure I need therapy. I come from a family where we don't admit to problems or talk about them. Over the past 2 years my mom died, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and my brother killed himself. Both my grandmothers also died, but yeah that's kind of minor. I just emailed a therapist who does group counseling, I think that might be easier. I'm just so sick of everything being an emergency. My dad had a funny comment and told me he feels like things are getting "normal" again because there hasn't been devastation in a year. Glad he has a good outlook. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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I’m so sorry. Have you considered a bereavement group specifically? Hospitals sometimes host them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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OP: yeah, I was specifically looking into groups. Sometimes I feel like I want to get things off my chest without having to do 1:1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Horrible, I’m so sorry. Either a therapist or support group or both could be helpful. I hope you find the help you need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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You have been through a lot. I’m sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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Realizing you need help is the first step. I agree with the suggestion about a hospital therapy group. I attended one for about a year and it really helped me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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I think you should try one-one-one talk therapy plus a grief support group. See how it goes. You may feel like dropping one at some point. I am very sorry for your losses. You are not alone, OP. Hugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:27 AM Flag
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I have been in your shoes and recommend this as well. What I got out of one on one was the ability to unload everything inside. For group, I realized that my circumstances weren't as bad as many other people's and got good coping strategies. I'd urge you to try both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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I’m sorry for your losses. I hope you find someone to talk about everything bothering you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:52 AM Flag
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Group therapy is REALLY great for grief. Find a grief support group. Kim Davis runs a good one in Soho. Its so great to realize your angry feelings are the norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:35 AM Flag
[ - ] where can I go to get delicious cakes or cupcakes by tomorrow afternoon in NYC midtown west (think 6th ave, 43rd st)...would grand central magnolia spot let me get 20 at a time? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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Weed mom: mmmmm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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Can to go to a supermarket to buy them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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There’s a whole foods on 6th ave across the st from Bryant Park... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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Sprinkles should be able to deliver if you order now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Call magnolia now. There is one on 49th and 6th I think. Easiest one. Whole Foods bakery is awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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No it is not...what is your definition of awful? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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It was good a few years ago the quality is way down the last couple of years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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Funny... Whole Foods is my absolute favorite bakery. As much as I want to support the mom & pop places, I haven't found any cakes tastier than WF's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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The best wedding cake I've ever had came from Whole Foods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Run to Duane Reade and buy two boxes of Duncan Hines mix and icing. Kids love them better than Magnolia's and you'll save $40. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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Fairway. They make the best cakes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Cupcake cafe moved close to there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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No it is on 10th ave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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there is a magnolia at 49/6 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
[ - ] My daughter will be a Freshman in the fall. She is very nervous about going away to college, and she says she dosent want to talk about it. Did anyone else have experience with this. did your kid adjust? My first one adjusted so easily 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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She'll be fine. Suggest she talk to your older dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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She wanted to go to the same school as older DD but did not get in. It would have been easier [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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We all did it, she will be fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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I never got used to it and transfered to live at home. I just don't want history to repeat itself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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She may have the same qualities you did. Would it be terrible if she did come back home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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I felt like a failure moving home. I dont want her to feel that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:24 AM Flag
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Everyone's path is different. You didn't fail. You just took a different route. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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Ask her why she's nervous. Just suggest she go to as many orientation events as possible. Smile, say hi to people. Join a few clubs just to get started. I was an introvert and didn't have a fun time in college so I sense her worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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Is there time to sign her up for anything this summer that would give her a taste of independence? I guess she doesn't seem like the Outward Bound type but anything else? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Very normal to be nervous, maybe she's being more honest than others? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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Any kid who says she isn't nervous about leaving home is being less than completely honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:46 PM Flag
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I wasn't nervous at all--and I was 16. It was absolutely exciting and fun to meet new people and experience new things. I loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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I agree that I was absolutely looking forward to it, but it was definitely strange to know that I was leaving home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm past middle age. Moved a few years ago to CO where pot is legal. What should I buy since I'm here? would prefer not to smoke. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.23.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Go hiking and then get a beer or two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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well that's nasty. I smoked pot in college. And other drugs. I'm not an old fart newbie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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How is it nasty? Don't do if you're not into, go get some gummies if you are. Put down the bitter drink too, because when I came on this page just now, there was a lot of low class bitching. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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I like edibles. I usually need to 10mg to get a nice high but start with 5 if you haven’t done this in a while. I like the chocolate-covered blueberries but every dispensary sells something a bit different so you’ll have to read a menu. The budtenders are usually happy to help. I prefer a hybrid indica-sativa or just sativa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Just go slowly with edibles. It can take an hour for it to kick in and if you eat too much at first thinking it has no effect you may find yourself zonked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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*and ask their 'mongers' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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Good point. I would actually say wait at least two hours before taking more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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buy tablets and take at night [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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Edibles all the way. They have all kinds of stuff now - cookies, brownies, candies, chews, lozenges, you name it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Go into any store and they will be more than happy to school you. There are drinks now too-some with very little TCH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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berries, chocolates or a dose pen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Dating a man with 50/50 custody of a 17 year old, 15 year old, and 13 year old. Wondering how to navigate his expectations of family (and from what I can tell, the teens have different dreams from Dad). Before any UBer says it, the older we get, the more probable the dating pool is divorcees with a child or more. 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.23.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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Just don't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Next time you have dinner with him, ask him what his expectations of family are and what his pace is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:59 AM Flag
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When we started dating it was just us. As our dating continued (hence my question about navigating expectations) sometimes he describes this fantasy family about all holidays together, his kids weddings, being an on call grandpa living next door... No Thanks! Other times he's like it's all he can do to finish raising them, hopes to see them a few times a year where he's chosen to relocate after a lifetime of living where the ex is, and expects them to disappear like he did 20s-30s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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His pace reflects that too. When it's a no custody week, he's eager beaver. When it's a custody week, it's crickets. Sometimes he feels like the opportunity for us to gel as a family is passing to quickly, and other times he feels like we should wait until his kids graduate. Meanwhile I'm increasingly wondering what's best for me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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Ask HIM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 07:04 AM Flag
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True but you need to search for men whose kids are grown and out of the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Only see the man when his ex has the kids. If you're still together when his youngest goes to college, meet all the kids then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.23.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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How do you know OP doesn't want to marry this guy and have her own family? Waiting 5 years until they are all in college not exactly a plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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Sure, it is a fine plan for two grown adults who, presumably, have their own livelihoods and houses and interests. A 50% relationship is more than most who are married to consultants (and other frequent travellers) get. . . . I'm not saying don't have sex for five years, I'm saying don't move in or get married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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And a father of three, oldest who is 17, is unlikely to be eager to start with round 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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He doesn’t want a round two, and I’m not under any false impressions that I’ll ever be a mom by his kids -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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great points. We’re long distance and direct flights are no longer so I’m being pressured because he’s more financially stable but obviously obligated and complicated, but location and schedule restricted, than I am -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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That would be a terrible thing to do to his children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Waiting another 5 years isn’t super appealing, and what happens after 5 years? -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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Then, she should look for someone who is available for that. This guy is not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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Thanks -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:30 AM Flag
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Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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So presumably dating 5 more years, that’s a long time! Ub is usually 4-6 months and then move in :/ -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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I don't know, I think having half of my time with a loving, available partner, and half my time by myself sounds like heaven! What's the rush? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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:) thanks for a refreshing pov! Not sure how to make this work long distance with the connecting flights now? weekend visits are out now. -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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Well, maybe you can think about a move if you commit to making your own life/ getting your own job/ having your own space in the new location. But you'd have to really love him, and be willing to be chill. Making a life for yourself in a new place past 40 can be a challenge. Doy ou have any ties in the city? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Thank you. It's good to hear options. The only reason I would move there is for him. I applied for jobs (not good), looked at real estate (too high) and I also don't like the climate as much as where I live now, and most of the people in that community are either newlyweds (so younger than me, with kids too) or newlydeads (so older than me, retired). It just feels like we met each other at poor timing - like if we met earlier I'd be the first wife and we'd have the kids together - or later the kids would be adults and he'd have moved on his own accord to a place more his style. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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This is unreasonable. Also, it says to the kids that you aren’t interested in them, a relationship with them, or even fully knowing their father. I think OP should certainly take things slow, but if at 9 months/year you’re still together then yes - meet the kids. But I don’t think that means move in together and suddenly do everything all together. Do a gradual ease into it and definitely see how the dynamic works before taking any steps. You spend time w the children but not co mingle your lives until the youngest is more independent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:36 AM Flag
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how much family time? As an example, if we have two or three dates a month, is one of those now a family date? If we go on a trip, is that now a family trip? What would make the youngest more independent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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Yes, I think one family date a month is fine. And there’s a big difference between a 13 yo and 16 yo. I don’t think one needs to wait until she goes to college, but to ingratiate yourself when the kids are still underfoot is a lot to take under [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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Just expect them to hate you. I personally would not date any man with that many kids of that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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They don’t hate me but sometimes it’s hard to tell between what others tell them, teen angst, and genuine disdain -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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I would cross this man off my list. Who needs the aggravation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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Yes that’s the common consensus but it is increasingly difficult to find a partner without any aggravations. It’s nice to know the troubles I’d get with him, versus starting over with another? -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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You could not pay me enough to be with a man with 3 teenagers. Are you really that desperate? If you stay with him, this will haunt you forever. How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Shut up. If you fall in love with a man with three teenagers thats what happens. Why are you so bitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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You can fall in love and still be rational. I am not bitter. I am rational. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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I appreciate hearing all sides, and BTDT stories too. Admittedly I am probably not being rational? -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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?? You don't fall in love FIRST and then find out he has 3 teenagers. As soon as you hear someone already has a family who needs him, you move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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You can fall in love with someone with three teenagers. WTH!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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40 -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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Waaaay too young to settle for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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dump and date anew? -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:10 AM Flag
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No, don't dump at all. Part lovingly due to timing, circumstances, locations and better for him to be able to focus on existing family. If you want to be married, get out now and start over and be more discerning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Please do not listen to most of these answers. I counsel women like you for a living. There is nothing inherently wrong with this situation. Go slow, feel out how his relationship is with the kids' mother, his expectations from this type of relationship and take it very slowly. You don't even have to meet the kids for a long time. Let them take the lead. Two will be gone soon and the third may be the easy one. Personally I have children and would not date a man without children. I think they can be far more understanding and better with balance in life. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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^^^the only advice I would have here is that you shouldn't expect to have your own bio kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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Thank you! I don't expect to have my own kids. I can tell he was previously married and a (good) father, and those have their benefits to me (may sound silly, but he loves carrying stuff! and putting the toilet seat down). He and his ex seem on good terms? but they don't parent together - she does her own thing, and he does his own thing - and wondering how that impacts their kids? The kids, like I wrote earlier, want nothing to do with Dad dating, but maybe I'm misreading awkward teens? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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Also, right now everyone seems happy with real estate and money, but when that well runs dry? It's one thing, as another UBer wrote above, if we were equally established in the same place, but we're not. He keeps saying he can provide for me, and more so than I can on my own, but I don't know if he realizes his finances are still limited especially as kids become adults and need help with school, real estate, emergencies, parents age, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Wtf? I would run if a guy who already has a family told me he could "provide for me." That's desperate. He should be saying the opposite. "I love my kids and they come first." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:33 PM Flag
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That would have been a 100% dealbreaker in my single days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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up to what age? -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Have you been married before? Do you have your own children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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You've come to the wrong place for this. Lots of divorcees who don't want a #2 in the picture and take it VERY personally and are super-negative and bitter and will have nothing helpful to say. Dummy head! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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Did OP write that she was divorced with children? I don't think so. When you don't have your own baggage, don't take on someone else's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 10:03 PM Flag
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I don't see it that way. She's 40, not a great selection of single, no baggage men in her age bracket. Newsflash: those men are seriously flawed (not all of course but the majority). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Hmmm. I was 39 when I met my DH. He was 45. Neither of us had been married or had children. Neither of us is seriously flawed and we are both very good catches, if I say so myself. We just never met the right people. In all of my single years, I dated one divorced man with children. Nicest guy and his children were lovely, BUT he said words that gave me pause. "My children will always come first." No, thanks! And that was the end of that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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This is what I find "not a great selection of single, no baggage men, seriously flawed" AND the more dates I go on with that type, the more jaded I become AND the more years I spend single, the more set in my single lifestyle I am too :/ -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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Where should I ask? Would love some other POVs -op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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