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[ - ] Honest question: Why does Elizabeth Warren scare Trump and his minions so much? Is it because she is so much smarter than him and she didn't have rich parents to buy her a spot at Harvard? Is it that she is simply a woman and Trump hates all women deep down? 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:45 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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You seem really obsessed with who runs against Trump. Did you see her Republican brothers bashing Trump as a tool of Putin and an embarrassment to all patriotic Americans? That was harsh! Hearing the Republicans bashed by their own people. I get that rich Wall Street types and nasty neo Nazis will still vote Republican but they are losing the heartland. It's clear from the rallies it is made up of neo Nazis and people who hate America. It's ugly to see Trump voters hating America so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:49 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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That's what Hitler's supporters said about him, too. Remember "all of Europe" was rejecting democracy and embracing the Nazi philosophy? We heard that in 1930s Germany, too. Like I say, Trump's supporters hate America. They are still angry that America didn't let Hitler come in and boss us around just like he did to European countries until he was stopped. Sorry, but we patriotic Americans see you anti-American traitors for what you are. You hate America. Why do you hate our country so much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:56 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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"a Jewish boy" -- spoken like the true neo-Nazi Hitler-loving Trump supporter you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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You keep telling me you will kill my children because I won't allow Trump to be the Fuhrer. Stop threatening my children, you nasty Neo Nazi Trump supporter. I'm really tired of your threats to "lock us up" and then we all know what happens next, you Hitler-loving neo-Nazi who Trump says is 'good people'. I know you neo Nazis feel empowered to threaten Americans because Trump has given you power, but you are truly nasty thugs. Patriotic Americans are waking up to your anti-American hatred. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Stop threatening to lock us up because we aren't neo-nazi Trump supporters like you. first you lock us up, then you exterminate our families. We have heard you screaming "lock them up" at your rallies. You are anti-American and many patriotic Americans died so people like you didn't destroy our country by welcoming Hitler. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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You sound truly nuts. "Elizabeth Warren's pledge". yes, is that like when Trump swore on his children's lives that he had Obama's Kenyan birth certificate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Elizabeth Warren's pledge. I guess your lie got you, right? Don't worry, you can lock me up and threaten my children just like all Trump supporters at his rallies do. You guys would allow Trump to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue -- just like Trump said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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Trolly troll trolling [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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More trolly troll trolling & linking. Rubles!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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Were ALL those comments that the moderator removed from the same person, just replying to themselves again and again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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Yah, I think so. I saw almost all of that before it was removed. It was some crazy troll assertion, always followed by a one word reply, "Link?", then followed by a link, and then followed by either "OMG" or "+1". The troll writes in the exact same style, every time. You can easily pick it out. The mod does us all a favor and removes every comment or post by that same troll. I guess they also ban the troll, but the troll just makes a new account and goes to town with it. I wish the troll would find a new hobby. Or a job that pays more rubles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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so glad we have a moderator. maybe that IP was banned? instead of removing individual comments [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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She is a smart woman who stands up to Trump, and he can't stand it. He only likes compliant bimbos like Melania who will do whatever he says and look pretty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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A lot of people find her off putting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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And you can find them at neo Nazi marches, INCEL chat boards, and Trump rallies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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He boils over when a woman stands up to him. He just can't deal with it. Look at all his wives, even his daughter. They are his subordinates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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She doesn't scare anyone, they are hoping she runs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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She likes to troll him. She's good at it. I find it most amusing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on buying a studio in Manhattan as a rental/investment property? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:17 PM Flag
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Broker mom here: good way to diversify your assets if you're rolling in $$$, but otherwise I wouldn't do it. Cap rates are pretty low. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:29 PM Flag
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NP. Sorry -- what's a cap rate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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nnp. Essentially the return on investment. The net money you make through rent divided by the value of the property is the cap rate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:17 PM Flag
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Other locations you'd suggest? eg Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Seattle, Florida... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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whats a cap rate ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:39 PM Flag
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op - DH and I have retirement accounts, and we have a 529 for our kid. This would be the all the rest of our savings (we would still contribute to the retirement and 529 out of our income). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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you would need a condo which costs more than coop. can you get rent to cover your mortgage and maintance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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op - I would pay all cash, but yes, that would be the plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:52 PM Flag
[ - ] How much tip for the electrician? Troubleshooting a few small jobs on a call today. UWS. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:55 AM Flag
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He makes $150 an hour, why would you tip him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:56 AM Flag
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You do not tip electricians. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:12 PM Flag
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You do not tip electricians. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:12 PM Flag
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All the above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:29 PM Flag
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Thanks! New in town and want to be sure I’m not stiffing anyone as I learn the tipping culture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:38 PM Flag
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You don't tip ppl who work for themselves and take 100% of the fee you pay. You only tip ppl like movers or waiters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Overpaid blue collar labor does not get tipped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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"Blue collar labor" is what keeps the equipment working, not overpaid white collar workers sitting in meetings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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This. Thank you. If you can't fix it yourself, there's no such thing as "overpaid" labor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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NP: keep in mind that a bunch of overpaid white collar people would not survive an apocalypse. Chuckling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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I'll have you know the market clearly values my excel spreadsheets as worth 127 times what a teacher makes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:18 PM Flag
[ - ] So much on my mind. Anyone care to advise? About 3.5 months ago, dh left in a huff and started spending nights elsewhere. He said he was done and wanted to build a life with ow. That was a Wednesday. Didn't hear from him until Sunday when he missed dc and showed up for dc's activities. Monday, he arrived at the crack of dawn to do the morning routine (breakfast, make lunch, play with dc, get dressed, school drop). That next Tues/Weds was the 4th of July, which he skipped, but has since spent all long holidays/long weekends on whatever I have planned. We've also gone on great vacations. He has started coming to see me and dc during school pickup and will also sometimes spend early evenings with us. He will stay overnight if it's something important and I insist (e.g., big doctor's appointment). IOW, he has "returned" in various ways, but not fully. Have had sex with him, but infrequently. Although he is rarely here overnight, he otherwise acts like the model dh and father and family man he can be. But for the cheating, he's awesome and I love him. No one knows what's going on but us. Is it possible anyone has btdt? Should I just let this play out and see if he fully returns, or is he not returning? He has made no move whatsoever to progress to divorce, and I don't think he will, either. We agreed to have a second child, btw, which was really important to me whether he's in the picture or not. OW is a desperate whore and will wait as long as necessary, so there's no such thing as "outwaiting" her. She'll take whatever she can get and will spend the rest of her life this way if need be. What to do? Need to go to a meeting, but will watch and check later. ty, ub. 60 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:38 AM Flag
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^^yikes! that ended up being long. Sorry. If anyone cares to read, would love to hear from you. Will check back later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:39 AM Flag
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I mean, how many times are you going to post this? How on earth would anyone here have any better insight into your husband and your marriage than you do? What I would do is irrelevant, but, because you asked, the minute he left the home I would have gone to an attorney, began divorce proceedings, and changed the locks. I don't allow myself to be used and I certainly don't love or agree to procreate with a person who cannot commit to me. The other woman is getting exactly what she wants and how dare you name-call her...she's not desperate; YOU are, and you're also a "whore" because you are trading sex (gross, btw) in order to keep your "Mrs" sham title and your lifestyle/appearances. Again, what I would do is irrelevant. But if I were you (and thank the universe I am not you, because you are weak and pathetic), is tell your dirtbag husband that if he wishes to remain married to you and be a father to your child, you demand that you move to a distant city and he cease all communication with mistress forever, and he will live life on a short leash from here on out. You are beyond repair for wishing to have more children with this man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:53 AM Flag
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He’ll remain a father to the DC no matter what [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:56 AM Flag
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That's your problem, dear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:57 AM Flag
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Not the OP, and that’s a fact, not a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:57 AM Flag
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Uhhh, it is a problem. Husband is the winner here. He gets to look like Dad of the Year to everyone in their lives, he gets to keep his family home, he gets to have sleepovers with his mistress, he gets to continue to have sex with his wife, he gets to avoid the expenses associated with divorce; he's literally having his cake and eating it too while idiot OP suffers along in a half-empty charade of life setting an awful example for her child ...and she wants to have ANOTHER with him...vile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:11 PM Flag
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Yes the classic having his cake and eating it too. Meanwhile he is causing you enormous emotional anguish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:35 PM Flag
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Yeah, no...I think it's a problem to grow up with a father who sleeps elsewhere every night and a mother who allows it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:12 PM Flag
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Missing the point. The OP can divorce him if she wants to (and clearly should), but she’s not going to succeed at cutting him out of the DC’s life if he wants to remain involved (and clearly he does), so it’s pointless to threaten that (and harmful to the DC to try [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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He's a father in name only. A real father respects the mother of his children and treats her like a partner, not an incubator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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No, he’s a husband in name only, but sounds like a very real father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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A real father who sleeps in his other woman's bed every night and puts the child's mother through this indignity...awesome! You can keep him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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He’s there for his DS, not for you, and TBH you sound like the desparate one in this equation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:57 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:11 PM Flag
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Loves his child, likes family life, wants to keep his money, not really into you. I can’t believe what some guys get away with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:03 PM Flag
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They get away with what their sad, spineless wives like OP let them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:11 PM Flag
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SO let me understand this. He lives with the other woman and comes and goes to you as he pleases, promising you another child and acting like a model dad. It sounds like the other woman flipped your positions. why would he change anything about this situation? He is not coming back. He left and is giving you the dregs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:04 PM Flag
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he has no interest in being your husband. It's great that he is a good father - let him be that. But you need to move on. He can live in the neighborhood and share custody. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:04 PM Flag
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Why would you want the leftovers that he is giving you? Don’t you think you deserve better? And why would you have sex with him when he left you for someone else? I’d rather have a child from a sperm donor than this man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:13 PM Flag
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You have obv accepted this situation and have no desire to change it because for whatever reason being able to say you are married is more important to you than your pride. I hope he has a lot of $$$; if so, just spend to your heart's content and tell him that's your end of the bargain. PLEASE stop having sex with him and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT bring another child into this shit show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:16 PM Flag
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You don't say if your child is a girl or boy but either way, how awful...do you want a daughter to grow up thinking this arrangement is okay? Do you want a son to grow up thinking a side piece and emotionally abused wife is the way to live life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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You're not going to like my answer. There's no giving advice to you right now because you are not thinking rationally. You're in the midst of the "dance" to frantically keep everything together, and you are immune to common sense until decide to take off the red shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:22 PM Flag
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Harsh but just going to cut to the chase: have some self-respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:30 PM Flag
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I am so so so so sorry you are going through this. I had a cheating husband too. I frantically tried for a year to keep the family together but I realized he just doesn’t give a shit. He dumped OW #1 after I confronted him and says he ants his family. I just found out there’s another OW. Saw my lawyers last week and am reviewing options. I deserve better that this asshole. No more cake! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:39 PM Flag
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Document and leave. He's moping the floor with you. And btw, unanimity on UB = voice of reason [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Eh. Not always. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Oh please. This is a board where people usually encourage others to stay married at any cost. This time everyone is telling her to kick his ass out and move on; that says something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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Are you kidding?! Depends on when you post and who is on, but this is HARDLY the board where everyone says to stay married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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Op here: wow — some of these answers are extreme. Flipped positions with ow, whose existence is secret to everyone but us? Better to have a child with a sperm donor than a bio child with dh? I said “school” drop off but it’s really daycare as dc is still a young toddler and thinks dh is working at night. I’m super cognizant of lessons which is why I’m trying to determine if I should give it time or not while dc is unaware. It’s not about dh’s money, which I don’t need. It is about preservation of assets, being the person to clear the way to legitimize ow’s status who will otherwise remain a mistress for the rest of her life, possibly having her as a stepmother (and yes, she is a whore. I am married so I don’t trade sex for anything), possible stepchildren, and so on. I am not desperate in the least. I am definitely trying to figure it out. Have only posted this question once. But this is ub — you ask, you get. thanks for taking the time to respond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Also, to clarify, he hasn’t moved out. That’s why he seems one foot in, one out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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Your priorities are fucked. And so are you. Enjoy your empty, sham life; I am sure on your deathbed your doormat existence will all have been worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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Good grief. You sound insane. You’re exactly the kind of unhinged person who reminds me why coming here is a crap shoot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:09 PM Flag
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And here we have the troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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A crap shoot? Literally every single response to your post is in agreement. But, again, go ahead; stay with him, get your STDs, have your second child, sleep in your half-empty bed, let him wipe his dirty dick all over you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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NP: Every one is telling you the SAME THING [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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*I* sound insane? LOL...i'm not the one whose husband sleeps elsewhere EVERY NIGHT...I'm not the one who lets said husband present himself as Mr Wonderful to the public while I suffer indignity and sexually transmitted diseases in silence...who's insane, exactly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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My god, you sound troubled. Later, honey. You can’t possibly hold yourself out as having any kind of marriage worth emulating if you’re even married at all. You are awful. And no. No stds but thanks for caring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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Okie doke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:09 PM Flag
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LMAO at “it’s not about DH’s money, which I don’t need, it’s about the preservation of assets” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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I'm all done with this one...OP is just basically talking herself into staying with a cheater (AND HAVING ANOTHER KID WITH HIM WTF) and is looking for reinforcement. She has posted so many times since his little new living arrangement went into effect, always gets the same reasonable answers, but is still trying to convince herself that she should stay with him (AND HAVE MORE KIDS WITH HIM WTF)...goodbye, OP. Please take your pity party elsewhere. UB has spoken. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:17 PM Flag
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Incorrect. I posted about this once recently, though from a different perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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Follow the 180 advice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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You're a desperate idiot. Get rid of him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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And, another county heard from. See, OP? Consensus. But you go ahead and sit there with your hands folded and hope your husband comes home and throws you a pity fuck and revel in your certainty that SOME DAY he will be all yours! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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I think you are all being mean to OP. She's in a tough spot. breaking up the marriage is very expensive, its the DC's who suffer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:43 PM Flag
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Right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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And staying in the marriage is expensive to her sanity and enjoyment of life. The excuses you cows are willing to make for men are disgusting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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DH here: sorry this has happened to you but stop being a desperate doormat. I understand you want to preserve your family but letting him think the status quo is ok (and thinking yourself that it's ok) is not good. While I try not to judge other marriages - whatever works, I cannot believe you are keeping pretenses that he loves you and cares about you, sorry. Do what you need for your DC and yourself but FCS, forget about another child with him and bring yourself back to reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:50 PM Flag
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If I thought it was ok, I wouldn’t be posting. I don’t think it’s ok. Clearly. The question is what to do about it. I am definitely having another child regardless. Way too complicated to have one with someone else. And if we’re divorced, so be it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 PM Flag
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DH here: ok but then you have to realize that your chances to find somebody "real" and "full-time" drop even further, both from the fact that you'll have 2 DC's and the fact that you allowed and even wanted that to happen. If you are ok with that scenario of eventually being divorced with 2 DC's and no partner - ok. Are you sure your DC's won't suffer financially? Are you that comfortable being on your own? Cause that is likely to happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:49 PM Flag
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I don’t see why it speaks poorly of me to have another child with dh. If the question were whether to have a first child, then I take the point. But the first child is here. If you think siblings are important (and I do), it’s better to have bio sibs than sibs from different fathers. And if we end up divorced, so be it. I’d rather dc have a sibling than be remarried, which I’m unlikely to do short term anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:56 PM Flag
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DH here: it's ok only if you see him as a donor and stop fantasizing about him "coming back". I.e. sooner or later, you'll be on your own, with 2 DC's and even lower chances to find a real partner. And possibly more regrets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:01 PM Flag
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I see him as a father, where his record is much stronger than it is as husband. I won’t regret having a second child any more than I regret the first one. Why would I? Seems a strange concept. It’s not about finding another partner atthis point. My focus would be on my kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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I think this is not crazy. I think siblings are good especially in a single parent home. I think also they are better off with not remembering the divorce. I don't think your marriage has a chance long term however so once you get pregnant it is time to file. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:05 PM Flag
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why would this make her less desirable to another man. one kid two kids is really not that different also I know you are a man and think everything is about us wanting to attract you guys but we have our own considerations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:06 PM Flag
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UB hive mind at work. Because the truth is that if OW had posted this, every one of these responders would be saying he’ll never leave his wife, he still wants to be married, etc etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:50 PM Flag
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Look, if dh wanted to be married to ow, he would be. He doesn’t want to be married in the traditional sense, but he obviously doesn’t want to be divorced, either. Will he come down on the side of either relationship? Probably not until forced to do so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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np- this. something crazy like 85% of divorces are initiated by the wife. DH won't do this, but he'll be keen to get away with whatever he can while he can. Move on, OP. Find someone who will be good to you and love and appreciate you. For your own sanity and respect. Don't have another child with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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These responses are mean and are likely coming from women who haven't had to deal with the emotional roller coaster of being cheated on. First, let's start with the obvious. This is not your fault. Second, I'll validate your feelings about the OW - she's a whore. While it's your husband's responsibility to stay loyal to you, and not hers, she's a piece of shit for not caring about the fact that this man has a family. She lacks basic human decency (and so does your DH but we all know that). Third, and this is going to be so hard, you need to stop this insanity. He is manipulating and using you. Your kids are little but they are absorbing the tension in your house and your sadness -- trust me, my now 10 yo carries the scars of the early years of my marriage. You need to get your things together, talk to an attorney and file for divorce. He cannot come into and out of the house as he pleases while living with another woman. He will do this forever if you let him and in 10 years your confidence will be in the shitter. You need to wall him off and you need to be serious about doing it. Sister, you can not allow yourself to be walked on like this. You're better than this. Truly. Godspeed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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Ignore the mean people on here. Ending a marriage is hard and we don't fall out of love just because of infidelity. I basically just went through this except the women my husband was seeing were literally whores. After I found out he was in and out of the house for about two months and would not commit to the marriage and I was trying to reconnect with sex. I found out he saw another prostitute during that time and we finally ended things two months ago and i'm moving ahead with divorce. He was good father but he was making me crazy. I was a total mess but have been feeling better and stronger. I feel badly for my 11 year old dd and it has been crazy and chaotic for her and he was good dad and hope he will step back up and do his share once we have a custody agreement in place. He has been visiting her but doing far less than before the separation. The people on here were very mean to me too but I think they think insulting you will wake you up. No one knows until they are there how they will react until it happens to them. If you are not sure maybe try a trial separation, see a therapist with him and alone and make your decision. You sound like a much stronger more grounded person than me. I admire your ability to think this through I reacted based on my emotions rather than logic and made it harder on my kids. What he is doing however is horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:49 PM Flag
[ - ] I am glad they arrested 9 of those alt right thugs in NYC. its interesting to read about this from people outraged- they seem to be under the impression antia are registered democrats (they are actually against both parties) 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:43 AM Flag
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I think you are mistaken. The Democratic Party and republican Parties have very different immigration platforms. The november election will be a straight up referrendum on immigration [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:57 AM Flag
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your reply has absolutely nothing to do with my post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:59 AM Flag
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straight up nonsense trolling dude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:00 AM Flag
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1+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:01 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:01 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:02 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:03 AM Flag
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stop replying to yourself you aspie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:04 AM Flag
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and this has what to do with Antifa not being part of the democrat party again? nope, what? you a bot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:04 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:05 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:05 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:05 AM Flag
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stupid bot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:06 AM Flag
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Your mom has been demanding that you move out of this basement Gavin. Green point is getting gentrified and you can't pay your bills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:13 AM Flag
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so sad bot, yours is a Hobbesian narrative. It’s a dangerous world. Life is nasty, brutish and short. why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:32 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:06 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:06 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:07 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:07 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:08 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:08 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:10 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:11 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:11 AM Flag
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You know the Antifa movement was made up by the Republicans right? It's a con. You fell for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:13 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 05:21 AM Flag
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lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:24 AM Flag
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they are part of the party of trump. antifa have no party, they are anarchists. Guten Nacht! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:24 AM Flag
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did op say otherwise impotent soon to be deleted troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:25 AM Flag
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It's OK. We know where GI lives and we'll be there soon...bye Elizabeth [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:56 AM Flag
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Antifa is more closely in line with the Democratic party [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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They are actually Trump fans. Seriously, they love Trump. all violent thugs love Trump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:52 PM Flag
[ - ] If your dc is in 6th, how did their 4th grade state test scores compare to their 5th grade scores? Dc just made the ELA score for hunter (perfect math score)--wondering if his score will go up or down next year. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.16.18, 04:16 AM Flag
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You realize one person’s score has zero to do with your child’s score, right? Also - if you kid is already in 6th why ask (and if in 5th you can’t compare to hunter cut score). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:02 AM Flag
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I read this differently. I think she has a 5th grader and is trying to determine whether her child's score will likely go up or down next year. I also have a 5th grader and his 4th grade ELA was well over the cutoff but missed the math by one point, so I'm hoping to have him work on math this year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:49 PM Flag
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op: Yes, wondering whether 5th grade ELA scores tend to go down from 4th grade. I don't want to prep dc but hoping he will have a shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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and I was surprised by dc's scores--I expected ELA to easily make it and math to be the one in question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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Same here, but his ELA was weaker last year, so he worked on it. I guess the studying helped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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my dc's ELA stayed same and math went down - probably because DC moved to district middle school from success academy :) - in 5th grade at SA got perfect score on math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:09 PM Flag
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op: dc is in 5th now. Curious if most kids ELA went up or down from 4th to 5th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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Mine went down a lot it seems but still made the cut off . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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In all sincerity, why are you concerned about a 6th grade NYS test score? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:16 PM Flag
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op: I'm asking about the 5th grade score--dc is in 5th grade right now. Current 6th grade parents can speak to whether kids scores went up or down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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no-one preps for 6th and schools dont either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Not asking about 6th [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:07 PM Flag
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I think it's completely variable. I would think that 4th grade scores would go down for those who don't prep (because more people do), but both my kids had their best years in 4th and did no prep at all. But that's not true for their peers necessarily. Both my kids' scores went down for 5th -- my son's pretty much stays exactly the same for math (good, but not as good as it should be bc he refuses to check his work). But his ELA has bounced between a low 3 and a low 4, literally back and forth year to year with no correlation to anything (he's in 8th now). My daughter just made the Hunter cutoff but not by a ton. In her 3 years, she's consistently gotten 4s, with math higher than ELA, but with a range on both. That said, she is a better ELA student than math, it's just that the math test is more straightforward and if you're a careful student (in a decent school that covers the regular material) and check your work, you won't miss that many Qs. On the other hand, if you've looked at the tests, and seen how the essays are graded, you can see how crazy the ELA piece is. I'm not opposed to the tests, but ELA one is a silly measure at the margins, esp at the high end, for individual students. I really can't tell how graders decide to give full credit for some short answers and essays and not others. The one year I looked at my kids' tests, it was impressively unclear! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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How do you see the ELA section? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:08 PM Flag
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You can ask your school to get a copy for you to review. I don't think you can see multiple choice, but you can see the written part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:15 PM Flag
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My DS scores from 4th grade to 5th grade went up a lot in math, a litle in ELA. He made the cut off for Hunter this year ( currently in 6th grade). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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You have to also remember that they changed the test this year so the results from this most recent test are supposedly not comparable to year prior... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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op: I didn't know that...hmmm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:09 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone else thinking of leaving NYC? disney is buying whole blocks of tribeca.. what's the point anymore.. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:08 AM Flag
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I think you are right [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:12 AM Flag
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i am thinking pacific northwest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:15 AM Flag
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You have to LOVE grey skies and weeks of rain without pause (I'm from there) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:17 AM Flag
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Native Oregonian here and I kind of agree with this. I do love the rain and find the grey to be very peaceful, but it's hard for a lot of transplants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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we have had summer here since April. Pac NWer here- climate change is making things warmer and drier. your east coast weather has been terrible the last 6mos- and ours delightful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:01 AM Flag
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This. If you are thinking about the Pacific Northwest for a vacation or a year, it's iffy. If you are thinking about the next 20-30 years of your life, climate change will make it a lot more inviting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:06 AM Flag
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I moved here from Los Angeles 4 years ago and it's been a huge change since I decided to move here vs. visit. This is what I imagine the next 20-30 years being like: trees dying or being burned out, so those lovely views and hikes are gone. I'll probably have to be away for 6 weeks in summer due to smoke (I'm allergic, broke out in a rash) and 3 months in winter because it's such short, dark days, and overcast (we get socked in, a giant cloud of seasonal depression visits us for winter). At that point, it's not even a summer home vs. a winter home, it's more like a shoulder season home. A few months of late spring early summer and a few months of early autumn, that's it. That describes a lot of places you could live, if you have the means to live that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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Wait...where are you in the PNW? I was there for August and we were fully in smoke from the fires for the entire time and all of my relatives were bitching about not getting warm until June. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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Good points. And the winters are becoming real winters [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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they were wrong. this last May was the warmest and driest on record. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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I posted just above and I'm from Seattle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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Yes but the sun breaks are DIVINE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:01 AM Flag
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Don’t do it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:32 AM Flag
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Agree. It is a beautiful places. Shame the PNW natives are so awful. Perhaps its the weather. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:20 PM Flag
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I'd suggest another country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:35 AM Flag
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Where? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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Me. We are moving to LA. I will take sunny days and superficial people over the crap of this city any day at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:35 AM Flag
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Where in la? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:55 AM Flag
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So leave. Bye bye. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:02 AM Flag
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No, will die in my Brooklyn apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:35 PM Flag
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Tribeca has been like a Disney World Suburbia for the past 10 years. Now you are moving? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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Tribeca got shitty a long time ago. 1999 and it was over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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I rarely go to Tribeca. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Dd (9)'s dad who has been in and out of her life, didnt come to her birth, has had drug problems etc... got her name tattoeed across his arm in a very visible place. I'm besides myself. He literally didn't even come to meet her until she was 2 and it's a name inspired by my family heritage... But what makes me really ill is he is frequently in photos on social media with super sketchy party people, fetish types and gross women etc.. now her name is going to be associated with all of this. I know as a non custodial parent he shouldn't be posting her photos for all of these people (which he is doing even though I asked to stop) but can he seriously have this big visible tattoo of her name???? How awful! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:56 AM Flag
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Ugh...I'm so sorry!! He's a selfish ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:59 AM Flag
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op - is there anything I can do legally to force him to take it off -- not to mention I dont think every stranger on the subway needs to know her name while she is sitting with him.. so stupid. He really is just not very smart. I read online that as a minor a non custodial parent cannot use her name or image in media-- but i highly doubt that could include the tattoo. So upsetting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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No idea. gl!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:13 AM Flag
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LOL, no, you can't. You are a cautionary tale of making one's bed and then having to lie in it. Dummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:07 AM Flag
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Actually I spoke with ACS / CPS and a non custodial parent has not rights to her image or likeness. Thanks dummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:54 PM Flag
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This is his child and his body we’re talking about, yes? Just wanted to make sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:18 AM Flag
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Legally no its not his child. Nor is it his name or likeness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:22 AM Flag
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You had unprotected sex with him and chose to carry the pregnancy to term. You're stuck with him and his choices for as long as he is in your daughter's life. Remember the old adage, "Marry in haste; repent at leisure"? It is totally about your kinds of bad choices. Block him from your facebook so you don't have to see the photos, but his tattoos and friends are not under your control. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:09 AM Flag
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But it’s his biological child, no? How can you stop another human being from doing whatever it is they want their own body? There’s nothing about the tattoo that’s any kind of breach of his agreement with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:55 PM Flag
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She said hes non custodial. If he doesnt have legal custody he has no rights to the child other than any visits he is allowed. He legally is not the child's guardian. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:23 AM Flag
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Is he on the birth certificate? Does he have rights to visitation and a relationship with the daughter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:10 AM Flag
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Who knows this? Why do you even keep up with this guy? Second who cares? You're nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:14 AM Flag
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What are you going to do? Change your daughter's name. Stop stalking him on social media. I don't know what you want anyone here to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:28 PM Flag
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He sounds like a complete mess. Just ignore him and limit your dd's access to his social media. He sounds like a wannabe rapper. Don't let him be alone with her or take her around these people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:37 PM Flag
[ - ] DH takes home 400k after taxes. We are moving to NYC from cali and I like an apartment that is 15k a month. He is saying that’s too much. He is also saying that we can’t send our 3 DCs to private school for elementary school. I am so frustrated when we can clearly afford these things. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:53 AM Flag
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Is this a joke? You can't afford it. Is this a permanent move? Get an apt for 10k and send to public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:57 AM Flag
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I'm assuming 400k is annual after taxes. Yes, you can "afford" it but won't have a lot left for savings & extras. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:00 AM Flag
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a year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:58 AM Flag
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Yes a year. After taxes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:01 AM Flag
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You can't afford it--simple math: private for 3 = 165K + more per year + 180K per year after taxes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:01 AM Flag
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OP said 400 after taxes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:04 AM Flag
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Ok so 350K of that would be gone. OP, can you pay all your bills, food, travel, clothes, classes, etc. on less than 4K per month? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:18 AM Flag
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You can easily move into a good zone and send your kids public, at least K-5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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you cant. 33K a month - rent + tution ($40K each) = 25K a month. that leaves just $8K for goyard bags, vintage jags and woodstock summer house. i dont see how you can possibly surive here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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Tuition is 50k+ now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:19 AM Flag
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do you have massive savings / assets? if yes - they you can. if not - i really dont think spending every cent you earn is a good idea. you can find a great townhouse to rent in brooklyn for $8-$9K, send kids to local public (321, 107). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:10 AM Flag
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Trolll LaLa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:15 AM Flag
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This! Trollla [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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Troll lalalala [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:12 PM Flag
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If you are paying 15k a month for an apartment in a good school zone then you are a fool to send to private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:38 AM Flag
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Not from NY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:41 PM Flag
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What?? Can you do math? Of course you can't afford it. 3x tuition is $13k a month assuming no donation to school and no school extras like paid lunch and school trips. You will have $5500 left per month for food, medical, insurance, utilities, car, clothes, childcare, phone, ECs, entertainment, vacation. Is this a joke? If you put 3 kids in private, your after-school activities alone will cost you almost $4500 a month! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Our take-home is more than $400k a month. We're at a public school and our housing cost is $7k a month (small mortgage+maintenance). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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In a $15k a month apt building, expect to pay $2k+ every Christmas for tips. At least $500 per doorman and the super, $100 for the building cleaning person. If you plan to have a car, $500 xmas tip for the garage, $300 for your cleaning lady. NYC workers really disrespect people they work for who obviously have money but scrooge them over come the holiday seasons. These working class folks all live in the outer boroughs, commute 2+hr each day to come into Manhattan to work for you at minimum wage. They count on the xmas tips to make ends meet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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Also, if OP is planning to do private there are school donations, uniforms, ECs, trips.. I could go on. It is not just the 50K you pay for school, it is everything that goes with the fancy school. No way you can afford this. DH and I paid 4500 for an apt. with 2 DCs in private and he was making 800K then. He now makes much more, but things were tight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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This is voice of reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:54 PM Flag
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Ugh, not another one of YOU moving to Manhattan.Please don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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Do you work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:39 PM Flag
[ - ] My 13yoDD wants to go to Jingle Ball at MSG with a friend. Would you insist an adult accompany them (tix will be $$$)? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 AM Flag
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No, it's fine. I did the same as a 13 year old. Pick up is usually crazy. Lots of people, cabs, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 AM Flag
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thanks. do you think the crowd is mostly other teens so there aren't lots of drunks and rowdy people? am a bit worried because MSG is sooo large. She's been to 1 other concert at Roseland Ballroom (RIP), so this will be unfamiliar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:26 AM Flag
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Yes, mostly teens and young adults. Are you picking her up or is she allowed to Uber home? If picking her up you can find a central spot to meet up after the show (not directly at the super crowded exit). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:30 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 AM Flag
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I would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:00 AM Flag
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I'd let mine go, but she's been going to MSG for Rangers games and other concerts with us since she was 4. She knows how to handle herself and what to expect. And I was going to see Bowie at MSG with friends at 14 or 15. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone has had an ovarian cyst before? I have questions. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 AM Flag
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Wassssup? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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Did you feel any pain? Did it ever go away? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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np I have pain every other month (when I ovulate on that side). If I don't take 400mg of ibuprofen at the first signs of pain, I can be down for several hours. It has been about twenty years now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 AM Flag
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I had a dermoid cyst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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How are the able to tell? Did you have it removed? Symptoms? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:26 AM Flag
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Yes. Grew pretty big. Hurt when I was ovulating. Other times I just felt a pressure (could feel the cyst, if that makes any sense). Had follow up ultrasounds done and it disappeared 3 months after diagnosis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:29 AM Flag
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Op: Thanks. I just found out I had one last month. Im on my period and having some pain on that side, feel like I can feel the cyst which sounds crazy. Period is also heavier than usual. Ugh. I'm worried. Follow up in 2 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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I had exactly the same symptoms (plus backache and blood in discharge when ovulating). I was totally freaking out and thinking worse case scenario. Take a deep breath. It will be fine. Cysts are very common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:38 AM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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I have a dermoid cyst. It was found during an ultrasound and it is checked every few years to see if it grows. It hasn't. It is probably congenital. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:45 AM Flag
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Get it removed. It not gonna go away at its own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 PM Flag
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Why get it removed? It is not like it is doing anything there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] I really love my MIL. We are close and I help her as much as I can, driving her to appointments,cleaning her yard, shoveling her snow, etc . We live in a small house that she owns, paying rent that is bellow market value. It works out for everyone involved, she seems dc often and we are around to help her. However, lately MIL has been bad mouthing my dh (her son!). Butting in in our finances, calling dh irresponsible. Dh is beyond pissed off and ready to move. He also resents me for throwing him under the bus. How can I fix this? I feel like I've opened the door for her behavior because I do confide in her sometimes like I would a friend. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 AM Flag
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you shovel her snow? is your dh disabled? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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Op: He works so is often not around. I sah so do it during the day until he comes home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 AM Flag
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A woman is incapable of shovelling snow? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:15 AM Flag
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try babycenter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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Op: Why? I live in NYC. This is URBAN baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 AM Flag
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I guess the small house, yard work, snow shoveling sounds flyover. Queens? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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Op: Yes, Whitestone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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like I said, go to babycenter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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STFU about DH and move [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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You’ve got to talk him up to her. Tell her, mil, I’m so sorry I’ve given you the impression that dh is irresponsible. The truth is that you raised a fine man, who is a great husband, father, and provider. I’m really sorry for seeming imbalanced in my assessment of him, because the truth is, he’s wonderful, and I wouldn’t have anyone else in his place. And then stop badmouthing him. To anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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They live with her, the mother sees firsthand what kind of husband/father/provider he is! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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Op: We don't live with her. We are on the same block, a few houses down. Close enough though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:23 AM Flag
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any man who has his wife shoveling snow doesnt need to be bad mouthed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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You are sexist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:15 AM Flag
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Yes, he’s her son, so she has opinions about how he acts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:29 AM Flag
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Stop badmouthing your DH. try to smooth things over. You have a great set-up here, don't ruin it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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If this is a change in personality for her, encourage her to get a complete physical with review of any meds she's on. That's abnormal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Does Retin-A really work? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 AM Flag
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yes but you have to get through a month of extremely dry peeling skin first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 AM Flag
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What does it do after the peeling part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:01 AM Flag
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yes, but it's a very slow process. it faded a lot of my freckles, and gave me a more uniform complexion. Basically, I need a lot less foundation these days. Have been using it about 4 years now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:39 PM Flag
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Yes. It is all you need. I also found that you kind of need to be heavy handed with it to see results. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 PM Flag
[ - ] I adore my best friend but I feel like I don't have the capacity to be a good friend right now. My DH is in a dark place and I am actually afraid of him sometimes, I have small kids, and work full-time and I'm barely keeping my head above water. My friend sent me several texts today wanting to plan her birthday party. What should I do? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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Why can’t you tell her any or this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 AM Flag
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I have tried telling her and she sympathizes but ultimately I think she believes my life is perfect since I have a DH, kids, and am wealthy...but it's the opposite. I don't think she gets it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 AM Flag
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I love planning parties. I can do it for you and you can pretend to her that you are doing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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Tell her more directly. Not in a text or online, not qualified with "buts", not with drama. Meet her in person today and tell your *best friend* what is going on in your life and why you can't help with a party right now. You are not communicating with her, so she does not understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:18 AM Flag
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op: friend is single and no kids so I know that we're in different stages also, but I want to keep her in my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 AM Flag
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Just sit down and tell her that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 AM Flag
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... and if you’re super wealthy and interested in this, you could offer to pay whatever you expect to pay given your relationship if someone could step up with the time and attention. You needn’t pay anything of course, but if you are finding you are long on cash and short on emotional equity, that might work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 AM Flag
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do you mean pay someone else to plan her bday party? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 AM Flag
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More like “can you go the planning and i would happily chip in $x for dinner (or whatever). If I were wealthy and my friend weren’t, and I was emotionally spent, that’s what I’d do for my best friend. Also, fwiw, you needing to plan your friends’s party seems over the top unless it’s a special one and that’s what you routinely do for each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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Why are you afraid of him? Will he hurt you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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I’m sorry you’re going through this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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thanks. At times I feel he is capable- like tonight. Explosive rage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 AM Flag
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Oh my goodness. What will you do? Will you divorce? FWIW my husband has anger issues too. Thinking about getting out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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Yes very likely. Good luck to you also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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You can plan something small. If you have time to write on UB, you have time to plan a small party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:01 AM Flag
[ - ] What do we know about this person who sued Harvard? I get the great test scores and grades, but was his essay compelling, interesting and any good? Teacher recs stellar? Interview impressive? Don't all these things go into the equaion? Maybe good on paper but not so much in person? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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That’s what the law suit should figure out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:00 AM Flag
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It’s a class action [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 AM Flag
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This. When you look at the averages, it is obvious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:29 AM Flag
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Not really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:02 AM Flag
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gotta assume his lawyers vetted all that pretty closely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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This is going to be a joke for these people. Sorry life isn't fair in the sense you get that one spot. My dc (white) also had similar grades etc. He didn't get picked. oh boo hoo. But guess what? Resilience means you adapt to this and go to another place and make your mark there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:03 AM Flag
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This. Nobody is entitled to a spot at Harvard, even students with top grades/scores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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They used to have Jewish quotas What it boo hoo, too bad for the Jews back then or an injustice? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I recommended the book the wife between us on another post, about a dysfunctional marriage and a-hole husband. Someone recommended another book. I can't find the post. Any chance that poster is on?? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:56 AM Flag
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Last Mrs Parrish. Also watch sleeping with the enemy and big little lies.Any other books/movies you guys can recommend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 AM Flag
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In a Dark Dark Wood by Ruth Ware [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 AM Flag
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It wasn't me but I have recommended that people like OP married to abusive asshole should read Sam Vaknin. He is an expert on narcissists. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:27 PM Flag
[ - ] As a mom...would you want to know if your nanny cursed in front of the kids, is always on her phone and not paying attention, and says out loud that she doesn't like her job? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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yes. obviously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 AM Flag
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how to delicately say this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:54 AM Flag
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You observe this in a nanny and you want to tell the mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 AM Flag
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"So, this is awkward but I wanted to share some observations I had about your nanny. I have given this a lot of thought, debating whether to tell you. Ultimately, I'd want to know. I have seen her ABC. I observed her XYZ." Keep it purely observational and objective so you are leaving it to her to do the judging... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 AM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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I'm a sahm. I curse sometimes. I am on my phone a lot. I also cover my db in kisses, sing to her,cuddle her, read books to her and she absolutely adores me. I dont think these are red flags and also don't believe that nanny told you out loud she doesn't like her job. You seem like a busy body. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 AM Flag
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it's different...she doesn't do any of the loving things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:00 AM Flag
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You’re her mother. You’re allowed to do whatever you want. A paid employee is not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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Oh, no! I learned from UB that nannies are just like family members and just as good for a child as its own mom! Maybe even better because nannies CHOOSE to make childcare their jobs! Now you're telling me she's just a paid employee, like the exterminator or the cable guy... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:12 AM Flag
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Yikes. Of course. What kind of cursing?! I feel so bad for the kid. Just one? Hopefully too young to understand? is she possibly abusive?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:29 AM Flag
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Lots of f word. I don’t think abusive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:37 AM Flag
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Absolutely--I wish someone had told us about our nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 AM Flag
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I think you should examine what your motives are and access if you are coming from the same cultural background. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:10 AM Flag
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Of course b/c she'd be fired. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:03 AM Flag
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I heard a nanny saying terrible things repeatedly into her phone. I did not tell the mom because I did not know her well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Can I sign up for every other weekend off without divorcing 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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Sure. Would you be ok with dh introducing a step mom on your days off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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Yes. I believe kids always love their moms. Also they can be torture, I can’t imagine a stepmom would be dying to hang out with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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Oh, believe me, they love to spoil step kids in the beginning. It helps them gain points with their dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:08 AM Flag
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Then come the tantrums. Enjoy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 AM Flag
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You would miss them more than you can imagine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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I wouldn’t. I see them plenty. Work part time and have time during the week. I enjoy kid free time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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Maybe not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 AM Flag
[ - ] I live in California and have only heard the university of California at Berkeley called “UCB” on UB. It is either “Cal” or “Berkeley.” 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 AM Flag
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I have only heard of Berkeley or UC Berkeley. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:44 AM Flag
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OP: right. UC Berkeley too. But never UCB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:51 AM Flag
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Same. I only hear Cal or Berkeley. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 AM Flag
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Fascinating [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:00 AM Flag
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BHF [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 AM Flag
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But in the land of University of CA acronyms it's UCB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:57 AM Flag
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Darwin obviously didn't factor in enough variables. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:29 AM Flag
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The name is Cal or Berkeley. No one refers to it as UC Berkeley. Not any Californian anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:31 AM Flag
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On the East coast I've only heard people say UC Santa Barbara, UC San Diego. Also UC Berkeley because we have a Berklee on the east coast and they are not the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:25 PM Flag
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