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[ - ] Best way to make a day trip to Boston, by train or bus ? Driving not an option. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:25 PM Flag
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Train beats bus by 1000x. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:26 PM Flag
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Yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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Catch me up on the train. Do they have express and local (all 16 stop) options between NYC and Boston? What's the time difference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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But it's so freaking expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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you're going to go up just for the day, leaving in the morning and coming back at night? that's tough. I'd say train because then you have a hope of making it on time. Bus with traffic is very iffy. Last time I took a bus, it took 5+ hours because of traffic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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Train 100%. I used to do this trip a lot for work and I found the train easier than flying. No airports and security to deal with. You can just get on and sit and avoid the traffic and the airports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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Agreed, but trains frequently sit on the tracks for long periods as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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bus is way cheaper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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My dd likes the mega buses and they have wifi. Train isn't that much more convenient and much more expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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But bus can get caught in traffic. Not boston but have done both to DC many times and train is better X 1000. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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Flying is quickest and less expensive than train. Bus is cheapest and longest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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Train is usually cheaper than flying if you book in advance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Hi UB, i'm FTM with sick mom in asia. My mom has less than 6 mos to live, according to the doctor. I really want to go visit her. My DB is about 13 weeks old now. Any travel advice? Plan to be with mom for about 2-3 months. As for me and DH - we are working it out, no divorce happening after all. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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Great news about you and DH. I hope it was just the normal strain new parents are under. Baby should be fine to fly. If you're nervous book a separate seat and bring the car seat on so you can get a break from holding baby / they will sleep more easily. If your'e breastfeeding it's easy to travel! Sorry to hear about your mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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Thank you so much. What essentials to pack for baby for 3mos? Should I bring developmental toys? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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try to book one of the bulkhead seats where you can attach a bassinet. The airlines sometimes reserve them for people traveling with babies, I would call. I think it will be fairly easy to travel with a baby that age. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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Thank you. Will call airline! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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Take your baby. Keep her away from sick people. Have a sitter so she doesn't go to the hospital with you (where there are germs and she's not yet strong in her immune system). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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My mom is now home, she wants to stay at home for the remainder of her days. This is what I'm very concerned about. She will be getting many visitors. I wonder if we should stay in her home or get an Airbnb near her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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i think you should get your own place nearby. It would be good to have a separate space when she has visitors or if baby is waking up crying at night and your mom needs rest.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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Very glad about you and your husband! You are both (especially you) under a lot of strain. Definitely go visit her. How long is the flight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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16 hours :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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Oh dear...I'm trying to remember that age. Will DB mostly sleep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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She will be just fine. Have her sleep in the bassinet. Pack a few toys if those interest her. Walk her up and down the aisle a few times. Honestly easier now than a year, when you would be doomed. Maybe try to book on a reputable Asian airline -- I find the service so much better than US carriers. I did 14 hours recently with my 5 yo, which of course is not the same, but flight attendants so helpful. They were helpful to the woman with the baby in the row behind us too -- and that baby did great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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Why are you planning on going for so long? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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uhhh, because this is the last chance she'll probably have to see her mother? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:15 PM Flag
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np - bc her mom is dying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:42 PM Flag
[ - ] My mom who considers herself a 'life coach' just put out an instagram post to her 300 followers ... "don't let Peace allude you" ... sigh 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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Spelling is not her strength. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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I’m with your mom, as I’m tired of Peace and it’s allusive language. Just give it to me straight Peace, damn it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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I sometimes coach, but heck, she's trying! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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op. I know, I think she's in the zone where she's starting to lose it a little bit. This is a woman who used to argue with me about the proper uses of "well" and "good" and how to pronounce "niche." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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Could just be her autocorrect, you know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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No, it really couldn't - because autocorrect happens *before* you hit enter/send, not after. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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Fair enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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well maybe she just didn't see it before she hit send. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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Ok. But she still has a business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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I guess so. They're more like her former fans who now like to think they know her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:05 PM Flag
[ - ] our new nanny has taken 7 last minute sick days in the less than 3 mos since she started and it's starting to impact our jobs. We are going to let her go as a result. How much severance would you give in this circumstance? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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2 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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She's only been with you for 3 months? One week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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Disagree. Everyone should get 2 weeks. Especially people in this sort of job. It is just the right thing to do. Sort of like not talking on the quiet car. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Disagree. She has been employed for 12 weeks and called in sick 1 week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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When you consider working days, she's missed more than 10% of working days since being hired. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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Sucker! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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After working only 3 months, that would be quite generous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:21 PM Flag
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I wouldn't even give her one week. See if your boss pays you one week of severance after firing you after 3 months of employment! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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None. You're terminating her for cause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:00 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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Only if she has provided warning and discussed this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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OP is not a major corporation. No severance. Not one penny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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no severance. This is a firing offense without severance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:46 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm so sad. DD seems to have drifted away from her group of friends in MS. She stays home with us all weekend, no one texts her, she doesn't go out with anyone. She seems happy to hang with us, but I wish she had more peers. I'm glad she's going to HS next year and hopefully find a new group. That's all, I just feel sad for her. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 06.24.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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Haven't you posted before? If not, be glad she still likes your company, and that she'll make a whole new bunch of friends in her new school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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OP - No, first time I'm posting about this. And yes, I'm looking forward to HS for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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Where is she going? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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Stuyvesant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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Very nice, and don't waste any time worrying about this. Spend some time with your DD this summer, because (as a former Bronx Science mom), your DD will have a lot on her plate, and will be with some wonderful kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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Thanks. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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We went through something similar with both dcs. I've learned not to ask dc if they wanted to get try and make plans with friends, etc. This time of year is very hard.Kids are sick of each other and making plans for summer and graduation is a natural end for some kids.Does your dd have plans that will keep her busy this summer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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Somewhat. She's got two weeks of camp and two weeks of family vacation, but not much else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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PP - one of my major criticisms with HS was that the kids often didn't have time to read for pleasure. Encourage frequent library visits this summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:52 PM Flag
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Good idea, she does love reading, but she buys everything on her kindle and at B&N. Library trips are a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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Kindle works just as well: she could get into some great literature this summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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^^and you can access both the NY Public Library and Brooklyn Public Library for free on kindle. I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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Great, thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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look into getting her into something else - great way to make new friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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I could have written this exact post word for word. I have no advice, just want to say that your dd is not the only one. My dd is also going to a SHS, and I'm hopeful that she'll be able to find kids she can relate to better than she did in middle school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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Thanks. While I feel for your DD too, it's good to know that mine isn't alone. Is your DD otherwise happy? Mine is goofy, fun, affectionate, so that's why I'm not too worried, but still.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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My dd was otherwise a happy kid with a lot of friends...until 8th grade hit (ugh). In her case, I feel like her friends flipped the switch this year to being interested in only hair/makeup/boys, and she couldn't relate anymore so she got dropped. I'm hopeful she'll find like-minded friends (i.e. those who don't spend all their time posting bikini photos on instagram). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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OMG, I feel like your and my DD should meet! Is yours going to Stuy too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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No - that would have been perfect! She's going to American Studies. But, fingers crossed that both girls can more easily find their people next year! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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I doubt anybody has particularly fond memories of 7th/8th grade. She will LOVE SHS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:22 PM Flag
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Is she at a ms where they’re aren’t many others going to Stuy with her? Maybe they’re aren’t many other kids she connects with at her ms. She’ll make new friends at Stuy. Most everyone will be trying to make new friends. If she joins a club or sport, she’ll make friends even faster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:25 PM Flag
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Meant “there” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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Yes, I think there are three other kids going to Stuy, but they're not kids she's friendly with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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My dd will also start at Stuy this fall. Did your dd like Camp Stuy day? Did she meet any new friends? My dd met one new person she seemed to like and that made her really hopeful about making new friends in 9th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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She was kind of down on it - she said it was disorganized, she "bombed" the music audition, the swim test, the math test. And she was most upset that the escalators won't work until 2021. She "got lost" with one girl, whom she said she was funny as they were finding their way back, so there's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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The escalators worked fine during the tour in the fall. What happened to them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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How did she bomb the swim test? Can she not swim? Did she have to stop and put her feet down during the test? If not, then she passed. It’s pass/fail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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My dc said Camp Stuy was very organized, with the big sibs shuttling them around. However she also said the math test was very hard. That bummed her out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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My DD said the Sibs kept "losing" them and there was no direction to find their homerooom. She did say the math test was very hard and she said her freestyle "wasn't great." Also, the music auditions ran late so she didn't have lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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The Stuy escalators are sort of notorious for only working during tours, NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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My MS DD has lots of friends at school, but never hangs with them on weekends (unless a party). She loves staying at home. I'm ok with it. I know she is safe and she seems happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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Is your dd in 8th? Her situation is fine during the school year, but when all the kids are hanging out during Regents days and after graduation, it’s hard to see your dc with no one asking them to join along. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Our local baseball little league always has an end of the year BBQ. Most parents are involved until their kids age out or leave. This weekend was end of year and a new dad was in charge of buying the food. He went to a local butcher and got good burgers and hot dogs. The woman who had done this previous basically flipped out saying “I went to Walmart! I had a budget.” This guy had a budget too but preferred to buy quality food. And it was delicious. And actually cheaper than the Walmart plastic burgers. Funny. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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Some people find a way to make everything about themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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Yes. Like OP posting about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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Wow, that story is SO INTERESTING! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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I think this one is a "rich people vs. walmart" story [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Oh, I understand. Imagine! Walmart burgers! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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they've got plastic in'em! Themes galore to explore! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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Hopefully it was all paired with a nice Chianti. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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alcohol for the kids oh no! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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According to UB, that is a "cookout," not a BBQ as it did not involve ribs and a smoker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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I need to read more comments like this. They are actually interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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Southern mom: we have taught y'all well. But it is grilling, not a cookout. Possibly tailgating if there were trucks involved. ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:07 PM Flag
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Wait. Grilling is not a noun. You do not invite someone to a grilling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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hmm you are right. They grilled burgers at the end of year party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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It's a BBQ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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We just had a little league BBQ and my son would nt care at all where his burgers and hot dogs were from. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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CSB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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Ok. Glad to know the kids cared. (or did they?)> [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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Wow, if I had been the previous procurer of the foodstuffs, I would have profusely thanked the person who took over that onerous chore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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The people who help out the least often complain the most. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:35 PM Flag
[ - ] What are the worst interview mistakes to make? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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Eating something messy, ordering the most expensive dish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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Bad mouthing your former boss! Don't do this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:36 PM Flag
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^^or bad mouthing colleagues. Just don't bad mouth anyone. It makes you seem negative and hard to work with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:37 PM Flag
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Not answering the question that was asked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:36 PM Flag
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Worst I've seen: making sexist comments when being interviewed by 2 women, talking about how you don't care about company culture or getting along with coworkers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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Taking or making a call during the interview, not looking the interviewer in the eye, lying about anything, asking questions about the drug testing policy, talking down to the interviewer, and appearing nervous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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Arriving late, not being prepared, not having questions to ask, not addressing and speaking to everyone respectfully, talking ill of a previous job or employer, getting too casual/friendly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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Admit to a crime of any kind - I’ve seen it happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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I interviewed a guy who had a DUI barely 1 year old, asked if he went to rehab, and he answered he didn't need to go to rehab because he didn't have a problem. I can't stand people who won't admit they had a problem and explain how they addressed it (he prefers denial). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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Be careful: if it's an unsealed public record they may already know, and you should have your explanation ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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not knowing how to take any question, answer it adequately, then bridge into your talking points [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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Not having any questions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Taking the "weakness" question as an opportunity to humblebrag rather than pointing to something you've had difficulty with an explaining how you fixed it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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just stop asking that question, it's the worst. there's no good answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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+1 When an interviewer starts asking me canned questions, I end the interview. If we can't have a conversation about the job and how I would fit into it, without relying on the HR101 handbook, it's not the company for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:14 PM Flag
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Really? Honestly asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Really. I mean, I get it for the entry-level HR staffer doing the first-round interviews of entry-level and intern jobs. But once someone has had a real job for more than a couple of years, I expect the interviewer to be better than that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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Not making sure that all social media accounts are totally private in advance of interview. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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This. This is the best one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Being rude to the receptionist. I ask everyone you interacted with what their impression was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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Bringing your mom. Or your child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:18 PM Flag
[ - ] I've learned not to comment on how fabulous someone looks when terrible stress has made her lose weight, since that happened to me at one point. My co-worker looked amazing at the wake for her dh, but I didn't comment on her appearance at all. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:43 PM Flag
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Good thing you didn't, kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:46 PM Flag
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op: When she stopped coloring her hair a few years ago, I was appalled at how she looked all grey. At the wake, her hair was styled so beautifully, she looked young despite the grey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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Okay, time to collapse this post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:49 PM Flag
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Who cares what you do? It seems like you come from a household where no one values you, so you want to think your opinion matters here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:19 PM Flag
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You are never supposed to comment on anyone’s appearance ever, whether good or bad, at any time. Old etiquette rule that nobody but us old ladies remembers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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Maybe, but a compliment, if appropriate, can make someone's day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:51 PM Flag
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How is your opinion of my appearance a compliment to me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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I always tell the widow she looks like she's holding up well. What are you supposed to say? You look terrible? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:00 PM Flag
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op: Don't make the woman think she needs to be that thin to look good, because she knows she won't stay that weight when things get a bit more normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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The last thing I'd be worrying about at my husband's wake is gaining weight back. Are you for real? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:15 PM Flag
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Sure, but 'you look so great at this weight' is a bad idea to say [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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Of course. I would never comment on someone's appearance at a their husbands wake. That is a no brainer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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You aren’t supposed to comment on how she looks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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This. It is ill-mannered to make an unsolicited comment on someone's appearance. Just stop doing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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Did you end up bringing the kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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Oh, thanks for the comments people offered. There were a bunch of kids on the benches in the lobby, so my kids blended right in. I arrived the same time as a co-worker and went through the line with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:49 PM Flag
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I never comment. It's like you're saying she looked like a lumpy bag of potatoes before she lost weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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It sounds like you want kudos for not commenting on how great someone looked at their DH's wake. We aren't going to give them to you. It would have been completely inappropriate to say anything of the sort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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op: Many people are unaware. I was in a situation like this myself and got oodles of compliments. I was tempted to answer "I'd rather be fat and sane than the way I am right now" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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You went to a wake and your response to a death is to rate the grieving spouse's appearance? And congratulate yourself for "learning not to comment on how fabulous someone looks"? There are no words for this level of shallow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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My friend lost a child. She had always been very attractive and well-groomed, and continued to be so. People would comment on her appearance for at least a year afterward, telling her she looked great, etc. She found it very offensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:09 PM Flag
[ - ] A bunch of DDs rich friends planned a graduation trip to Europe, and did not include her. she just saw it on social media. Do you think its because they knew we could not afford it? Or because she is kinda nerdy. Or maybe both. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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What would knowing the reason do for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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Idk, ask your dd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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Too early in the morning and week for these kinds of "problems." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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How the h*ll would we know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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This is the silver lining in going to a humble public college. At least some of the kids will be down-to-earth people who work to make ends meet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 PM Flag
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Social media is an abomination. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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High school or college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:52 PM Flag
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Why aren't you more rich, is the question? You have failed your daughter. Sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:01 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:01 PM Flag
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Ew. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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r/whoosh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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please be sarcastic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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If I were to guess, it would be that this group has travelled together before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:04 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t spend anytimecthinking about why. It’s a waste of mental energy and I don’t have a great deal to spare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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You have no idea how delighted I am that we did not have social media when I was your DD's age. She's going to college next year? She can make some new, nicer friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:18 PM Flag
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Awww . . that feels awful. Hugs to your DD. Even if she couldn't afford it, they should at least extend the invitation, so that your DD knows up front that everyone made plans. Assuming they are her friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:20 PM Flag
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If she is a good friend, they like her for her "neediness." So if that is your theory, maybe she night really in their friend group? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:36 PM Flag
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That is the very real downside to social media. Back in the day, ignorance was bliss. Doesn't matter why she wasn't invited. You need to stay out of it, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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What are you? For a teen girl (and really any sentient being), this is hurtful. She can at least be a shoulder to cry on. Sheesh. You need therapy. Humans w/o empathy are damaged people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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You need therapy telling someone else to get therapy. What a stupid insult! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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You say you're sorry it happened, share a similar story from your youth and move on. You don't try to figure out if people exclude you because you're not rich or cool enough. Those aren't real friends. You don't post about it on a message board and wallow in your child's sadness. Maybe *you* need therapy being too involved in your child's life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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before social media kids knew what their friends were up to in their summer vacations. I think the real issue is that parents of rich kids bankroll their travels so easily. it always happened but is probably worse now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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Thats not true. I was a middle of the road kid- not super cool and not nerdy. I had no idea what the super cool kids were doing or the nerdy kids- only my own friends. Maybe I would have overheard something but social media is brutal for kids. It just sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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Is this HS graduation? If she had no idea these friends were even going on the trip, it's likely they either aren't as close as she thought they were, OR they are close and they all purposefully lied and hid this from DD for weeks/months. Either way - these aren't good friends of hers. Let her know that the sad truth is that a lot of HS friendships don't last and that college is where she'll really blossom and make her lifelong friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Or maybe not: but she won't spend any time freshman year feeling sad about the people she left behind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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It wasn't invite/not invite. They all started talking about their post-grad plans and the trip came together. Your DD wasn't part of these discussions. It's not like there was a trip that they didn't ask her to join. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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How the heck do you know? Really, you know how many conversations, emails, texts had to be had to pull this together and not include someone who is your friend. Wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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Huh? You have no idea how it came about. But regardless, they obviously talked about it and planned it for months. And somehow never mentioned it to OP's DD. They either don't feel close enough to her to ask her to come, or purposefully didn't invite her. Regardless, it took them some effort to not mention it over the course of months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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same thing happened to my dd. So happy she's done with those b*****es [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:51 PM Flag
[ - ] How early can I arrive for a 9:00AM job interview ? 54 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:28 PM Flag
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8:45 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:29 PM Flag
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Too early. It's imposing to arrive that early. Get to the area early, but don't walk into the office suite until 8:55. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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No, 850. 10 min early is not too early. You can stand in the reception area for 10 min easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:52 PM Flag
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Don't. Honestly, I prefer when people are late vs. early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:30 PM Flag
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No : You show up late for job interviews ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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Do not show up late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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Ass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:37 PM Flag
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Yeah, I am an ass. When people awkwardly loom around the office because they're misguided enough to think early is good I know not to hire them. 30 minutes early vs 5 minutes late? Yeah, I like the late person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:40 PM Flag
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There's a middle ground too. I mean, come on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:41 PM Flag
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The middle ground is showing up on time :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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Yep, and if you're early (which you should be if you're commuting from somewhere else. Sit down in the lobby or walk around the block a few times, but don't be late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:44 PM Flag
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I once scheduled a zoom interview with a recent grad. He showed up an hour and a half early and in person. Whoever is telling people to show "gumption" really needs to stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:46 PM Flag
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No one is saying 1.5 hours early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:49 PM Flag
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This! I wouldn't hire someone who showed up late for an interview. Nor would I want to work for a 'late person' like NP. She obviously thinks her time is more important than mine. No thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:32 PM Flag
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You're in the minority. Party of one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:21 PM Flag
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NP is the weakest link. goodbye. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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Wow. A "weakest link" reference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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It was a joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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LOL. Are you in PR or marketing? Fashion or entertainment maybe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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No no no. Never late for an interview. Arrive to area early and get a coffee or wait outside. Go inside 10-15 min early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:49 PM Flag
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Do people arrive early? I always arrive right on time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 PM Flag
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Thank you. Seriously don't understand why people think showing up early is good. It makes me think they got advice from boomer parents who haven't been to an interview in 30 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:41 PM Flag
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I'm a Boomer and went through a series of interviews last year. Not all of us are blue hairs. I wouldn't want to work in your office anyway. Sounds horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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"You can't fire me, I quit." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:44 PM Flag
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lol, are you for real??!! I give myself loads of time because showing up late tells people that you don't value them. You obviously think you are more important than most people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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What a strange assumption. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:36 PM Flag
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People who are chronically late assume that their time is more important than other people. I find it incredibly rude. Arriving early is a sign of respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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I'm not chronically late. I'm just more understanding of people who show up late vs. early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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Arriving too early makes you look anxious and neurotic. Not qualities I want to work with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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I don't think people who run late are that diabolical. They're usually just disorganized. They don't think their time is any more valuable - usually if you're late they don't care either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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I work in the Development office of a major NYC cultural institution. We invited a donor family in recently for breakfast - they were 45 minutes early. Their breakfast hadn't even been set up yet, and it had to be set up in front of them! It was a nightmare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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Arrive EXACTLY 5 minutes before the scheduled time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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This isn’t enough time in nyc. It can take 10 minutes to get through security, get upstairs, and shown to the right room. Nobody will be annoyed if you get there 10-15 min early. I wouldn’t even head to the conference room yet because usually an assistant directs them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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8:45-8:50 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:39 PM Flag
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My mom says my dad was fired from a job on day 1 for arriving to early. I wonder what happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:45 PM Flag
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An hour early is crazy. half hour is too much. But 10 minutes - yes. Never be late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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There’s got to be more to that story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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Aim to arrive 15-20 minutes early (if commute is unpredictable) and kill time in a coffee shop or sit in your car until 5 minutes before. If it may be complicated to find the office, locate it when you get there, but dont go in until 5 minutes before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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This. People who arrive earlier than that indicate they don’t have the common sense to figure this out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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in NYC getting to an upper floor can take longer than you think, given the sign in protocols and elevator traffic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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agree- i was almost late for an interview last year because of this (arrived 15 min early but took forever to get through security, get escorted up to the correct floor, etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 04:13 AM Flag
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Plan to walk into the building at 8:50, arrive at front desk by 8:55. No earlier. But as someone else said, get to the area by 8:30 and kill time nearby so you can get in the right headspace. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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This is what I would do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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You can wait ten minutes at security this time of day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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That’s the beauty of getting there early though. You can scope out the security process. If it looks mobbed, you can queue up a bit early. If it’s quiet, you can wait till closer to the interview time. Every building is a bit different. If you have a meeting in a high-security building like the Empire State Building, you might have two check-in procedures (one for the building, one for the company.) For something like that, you’ll need to leave ample time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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My DH always arrives early; drives me insane. He recently went t a job interview a half hour early and was pissed that the guy kept him waiting for 20 minutes. I was like, "If you showed up on time..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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Did he get an offer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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No earlier than 8:45. No later than 8:55. I am a recruiter, btw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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This I agree with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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I agree also. There's a big diff between arriving an hour early & 10-15 minutes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 04:13 AM Flag
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5 am is ideal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:31 PM Flag
[ - ] DD will be attending what has often been referred to as a middle of the road college for rich kids. She worked really hard in high school , and got a 20K a year scholarship. She gets the same luke warm reaction IRL. We are far from rich. she would have preferred a better school, that are often praised on this board. It did not work out that way. We try to shrug it off, but honestly it's hard. 118 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:16 AM Flag
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I wish people would realize how challenging this whole process has become. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:17 AM Flag
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+1 OP, I am sorry for some of the meaner replies. Maybe they are trying to give you some tough love. I totally get it. I am dreading the admissions process. This whole board is generally people being judgemental so it is pretty ironic to chastise you. With that said, congrats to you and DD- she worked hard and got a partial scholarship. My DD is struggling with some issues right now and I am praying with all my heart that she goes to college. Your DD will do great. Congrats and you will see, soon you will not feel anything other than proud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:46 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you for your support. you sound like a great mom. Not sure why people feel the need to give me tough love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:04 PM Flag
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. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:15 PM Flag
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I would alterctgat to how challenging done parents have chosen to make it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:10 PM Flag
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The intense competition is fairly recent and the demographics suggest that things will get easier for kids who will face this in 10+ years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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maybe even in six [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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What’s hard? That you get a luke warm reaction from people when you tell them what college your dd goes to? Seriously, if this is the hardest thing in your life right now, you’re fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:20 AM Flag
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This. Get s grip OP, sounds like your DD is doing great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:27 AM Flag
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Oh stop. You know what she means. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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You’re projecting. She should be proud of her partial scholarship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:31 AM Flag
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Actually not. She said that her siblings get such great reactions to where they are going and a lot of people have never heard of her school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:03 PM Flag
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She was raised badly. She should be going to the university that has the program that she wants to be a part of, and not caring one bit what anyone else thinks of her choices. You have raised her to think a brand name is more important than her plans and her contributions to her future field. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:08 PM Flag
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New on the planet? A brand name is not the most important thing, but it is important. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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It's important to people who care more about other people's shallow opinions than about the quality of the education and what the student wants to accomplish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 07:02 AM Flag
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Found the Instagram mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 07:02 AM Flag
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I wish your DD (and you) could just stop giving so many fucks about what other people think of her college. Life is so long, and college is just one part of the journey. Such a shame to devalue it, enjoy it less, and possibly not get as much out of it because you were so wrapped up in other people's approval. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:38 AM Flag
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THIS! Seriously. Don't live your life according to what you think other people will think of you. So sad and needy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:40 AM Flag
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PP: I went to a shitty commuter college, and had a wonderful experience, made lifelong friends, got to know my professors, and love the career I have today. I can't even imagine having lived the past twenty years since graduation feeling some sort of shroud of shame because my college wasn't prestigious enough to give me bragging rights. (Spoiler alert: Most normal people don't spend much time talking about where they went to college. I have no idea where most of my colleagues went) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:44 AM Flag
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THIS!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:04 PM Flag
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+10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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+1. My dd currently goes to a community college by choice. She loves her school, has some really good professors who are working in their fields, small classes, good friends. She has her own apartment (made possible by low tuition) and loves her life. When we tell people what she's doing they always say "oh that's so smart!" And if they're thinking something negative? I don't give it a moment's thought. I don't think it ever occurred to her to be ashamed of her path. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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Sad and needy? I think she lives in the real world and recognizes it as such. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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What color is the sky in your "real world"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 07:03 AM Flag
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Why didn’t see just attend a state school? Maybe an honors college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:50 AM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:09 PM Flag
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Just curious: Is she coming out of a private or public high school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:50 AM Flag
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Troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:53 AM Flag
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No she isn't. This is clearly a sign that I waste too much time on UB, but I bet I even know which college she's referring to-- she posted incessantly about whether her daughter should take the scholarship and go here. All voices of reason echoed the same sentiment: TAKE THE SCHOLARSHIP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:58 AM Flag
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Actually, I didnt we took the scholarship school right away!! It was not even a choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:02 PM Flag
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PP: I'm thinking of the mom who was agonizing about her DD taking the scholarship to Connecticut College. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:05 PM Flag
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CC is great. Dd's friend goes there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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My DD is applying there. Can you tell me more about it. I dont think she will get in. Its says 3.8 average. All relative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:13 PM Flag
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My kid was rejected from Conn Coll, he had 1250 and maybe a 3.2, I forget what exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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Connecticut College does seem second or even third rate. I know kids who graduated from there and they do not seem to know much more than when they entered. It's very progressive politically and encourages kids in their woke-ness. YOu can go to CC for four years, come out a political activist and know very little about history or economics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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no not me. Its Skidmore, but people here dont like either school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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People here are stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:15 PM Flag
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Great school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:23 PM Flag
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My son is going there. Some people have never heard of it but we are thrilled (and so is he). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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np-Skidmore is a great school. You know what? I have a friend whose DD was in a similar position. Excellent grades and scores. Applied to Williams, Amherst, Midd, etc. For a variety of reasons -- not the least of which was that she got an amazing merit scholarship -- she went to Skidmore. I turned out to be a FANTASTIC choice. She had so many opportunities and LOVED her time there. She just graduated and has no regrets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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People here don't like anything - Skidmore is a great school. Good for her for getting into a great school w some money to boot!! You should be very proud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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Skidmore is an excellent school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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This, and not even that creative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:58 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:14 PM Flag
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What school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:58 AM Flag
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SKidmore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:07 PM Flag
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Is this you, OP? Is it seriously Skidmore? I know several people who graduated from Skidmore and have done very well. One just completed her PhD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:14 PM Flag
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Yes its me. Many are very luke warm on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:15 PM Flag
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Don't listen to those people! Skidmore has a 29% acceptance rate - how "middle of the road" can that be?. On top of that, she got a scholarship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:19 PM Flag
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I know a 4.0 multiple APs 1430 w/ serious drama, internships, leadership roles in activism groups ETC who got rejected from Skidmore - it's hard to get into these days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:52 PM Flag
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Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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yes really! or maybe waitlisted - but didn't get off the waitlist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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+1 it is desirable because it isn't a cookie cutter preppy LAC. it has an artsier vibe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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what? even back in the 90's tons of people went to Skidmore and loved it and weren't ashamed of going to Skidmore. It is in a great location. fun artsy vibe. people love skidmore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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I'm pretty sure you're a private school mom. This is one reason I'm glad we didn't send our dd, though she got into Packer and Fieldston: Skidmore is a great school. Two of my dd's high scoring (1400) and high grades (3.4, 3.5) friends ED'ed it -- both got rejected. You need to get out more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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And you need to be nicer. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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Not a question of being nice -- people who are embarrassed of sending their kid to Skidmore clearly live in a status conscious private school world. Because Skidmore is great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 04:37 AM Flag
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+1 I have a PhD grad student who is Skidmore grad and I've given talks there. It seems like a great place to go to school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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All I have to say is if people haven't heard of Skidmore they need to get out more. That's a well-known school! And a good one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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that is a great school. Relax! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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This. Nothing wrong with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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The only merit aid Skidmore gives is a handful of named scholarships--for music and for science--and they are for 15K/year: https://www.skidmore.edu/financialaid/merit.php [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 08:12 AM Flag
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My dd transferred in soph. year to a different school and was much happier. She got good grades and the other school liked that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:06 PM Flag
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Where did she transfer to? Was easier to get in having done one year there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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My friend and his wife attended CUNY and one is a nuclear engineer and the other an anesthesiologist. Neither had student loans and both are white. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:07 PM Flag
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Thats amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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No, a lot of normal people do it that way. Nothing amazing about it at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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Um sure. So you'd do that? White couples with a UMC background lets their kids who went to SHSAT schools and other great HS go to CUNY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:13 PM Flag
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Collapsing for complete and utter stupidity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:14 PM Flag
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CUNY Honors College? Sure. Free ride all the way and specialized attention? Signed, Stuy grad. So know wtf you're talking about before you bash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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You're not replying to me--I'm the one with friends that went there. Calm down. You know this board would not receive this news well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:34 PM Flag
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Who's bashinig. OR is saying this board doesn't understand the great schools out there and only care about Ivy names. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:37 PM Flag
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I doubt people are responding to OR, they're responding to the silly post above that starts with "Um sure..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:38 PM Flag
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Yes, this. PP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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How can you get a MD without student loans unless you are wealthy already? Seriously asking. Is the anesthesiologist a MD/PHD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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There is nothing wrong with Skidmore. It's a good school and she can get a good education there. If people have never heard of it, that's THEIR ignorance. There are people who have never heard of anything outside of HYP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:17 PM Flag
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There is nothing wrong with Conn College either. Bosses on went there and he is a great successful kid/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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Why do you care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:25 PM Flag
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It's "hard"? lmao, life is going to be horrible for her if this is hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:30 PM Flag
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My kid went to Stuy and hated it. He needed a college that wasn't going to be too cutthroat, so he could start figuring out who he was -- best decision ever. He is very happy, loving school and has a social life -- which wasn't possible in HS. A brand is only good if you wear it well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:30 PM Flag
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That is a good way to look at it. What school did he end up ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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^^ best of luck to your dd. Hope she loves college and makes some amazing friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:35 PM Flag
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I turned down Harvard in 1990 to go to a middle of the road college on a full scholarship. Four years later I turned down Penn to go to med school at a middle of the road school on a full scholarship. I wish my kids were headed to Ivies, but they aren't going to get in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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Why do you wish your kids were headed to Ivies, if you didnt want to go to one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:33 PM Flag
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This--makes no sense. I went to an Ivy and it was very cold and bureaucratic in feel. My dcs go to other colleges where the admin seems to care about their students and they have great advisors/mentors which I didn't get. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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Because I feel like I earned a badge of honor that I never got to claim. And I was lonely and unhappy in college. Don't know if I would have been happier at an Ivy, but wish I could find out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:40 PM Flag
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Why would you be happier at an IVY. so much more pressure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:04 PM Flag
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I dont believe this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:15 PM Flag
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the pressure is getting in, once there it's much less [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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I wanted to go, I didn't have the courage to emancipate myself and take out loans, my parents had huge savings so no financial aid was offered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Your parents had "huge" savings yet wouldn't finance Harvard for you??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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My dad was self-employed and was saving for retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:32 PM Flag
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You can't "emancipate yourself." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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That was the term at the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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I wish I knew you in real life — I am always totally effusive about college plans, the hideous china some brides choose, and dorm assignments. Classmate once told me she had chosen a room in Worth Hall, and I was very positive about it, and she was SO grateful — she said everyone else had been very disappointed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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Whats Worth Hall? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:05 PM Flag
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One of the dorms at Swarthmore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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Me too. A college scholarship is something to celebrate - OP, I'm sorry your real life friends are asshats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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the people reacting lukewarmly are telling you more about themselves than your kid. anyone rude to someone's face about this is a jerk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:57 PM Flag
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It says a lot about you that this bothers you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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What does it say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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It says that she's human and being honest. Your post says a lot about you, and it isn't good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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Oberlin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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OP, this could EASILY be me posting this exact thing in a year. My DD is looking at schools that people very likely haven't heard of (Chapman, Loyola Marymount, Occidental...), but I truly believe these schools could be a great fit for her. If your friends (or hers) are being jerks about this, it's time for new friends who are happy for you and for her. Skidmore is a great school--and a scholarship is awesome. You and your DD have a lot to be proud of. Anyone who is anything less than supportive and thrilled for your DD isn't worth your time. Congrats to your hard-working DD on a great outcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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These are all very well known schools in LA. Oxy is adorable and very good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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Good to know! She wants to be in CA so I figured that many NYers may not have heard of some of these. Santa Clara is also on her list. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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In the 90s I turned down Brown for WUSTL for a merit scholarship of 9k a year. Had a great college experience, graduated with minimal loans and got into my top grad school. It’s what you make of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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Brown is #14 and WUSTL is #19 in the US News ranking, and WUSTL has higher average SAT scores. You didn't exactly make a big sacrifice in school quality... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:53 PM Flag
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NP. But in the 90s, I don't think WUSTL had the same name recognition as Brown (or that it has now). It's like USC--not a big deal in the 90s, today a big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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I went to a CUNY school, graduated with no loans, and when I started working met people at my same level who had gone to Ivies. Once she gets a job after graduation, none of this will matter anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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Agree. 100% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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Great school, terrific faculty, and a place where she can create an excellent educational experience for herself. It's wonderful for her that you can afford it. Don't worry about the lukewarm reactions - they don't matter at all. What will matter is what she makes of it, and all of that is ahead of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 09:11 PM Flag
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Repeat: Life isn't about passing tests so you can go someplace fancy to pass more tests. Life is really about finding the fit with your talents and aptitudes and finding a niche to use them. I know so many kids who were excellent "top-tier" students. And, many of them are living at home cause they think they are the next Spielberg or the next Stephen King. They've been told their entire lives how special they are..and once they are out in the real world, they can't handle not being constantly validated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Skidmore grad: part-time nanny. Williams grad: Career cater waiter. U of Chicago grad: After 10 years living off his family income, finally going back to get a degree in school counseling. OTOH: Arizona State grad: Started selling used phones on EBaby. Summer jobs selling pest control products (evidently pests are big in Arizona), got his real estate license. Now in partnership with another Arizona State grad buying and renovating apartment buildings and selling them. DePaul University grad: Taught himself programming via an open university. Now making $175k at age 28 as a programmer with a start up. Now not even prestigious university grad ends up a cater waiter, and not every bottom tier grad ends up a successful property developer, but life is way more than college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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ignore! I went to a so so liberal arts college because I got it for close to free (merit money). I learned a ton, made life long friends, and started my own business (it's still going a zillion years later too!). be super thankful that you got the big bucks - it's very lucky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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I went to Princeton and didn't like it. So there's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 02:38 AM Flag
[ - ] My mother uses my husband as a means to get what she wants out of me. As an example, if she wants us to come over, she will ask him instead of asking me. She does this all the time. Thoughts? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 10:52 AM Flag
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Talk to her, if it bothers you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:00 AM Flag
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I do. She thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:05 AM Flag
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Oh well, the standard UB advice would be to cut her out of your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:06 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:54 AM Flag
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then tell DH not to get involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:11 AM Flag
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He knows that this annoys me. He does his best to be polite while avoiding her requests. He never makes a decision without my approval unless he really knows exactly what I would want. My issue is how my mother is a manipulator and how she go straight to him. How do I get her to stop? My husband really really tries. I can’t complain about him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:13 AM Flag
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You can’t control other people, only how you respond to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:29 AM Flag
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So tell me how to respond to her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:39 AM Flag
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NP. I would just ask DH to respond as why don’t you just check with Jane. Oh Jane is handling this weekend, I will tell her to check in with you or you could call her. Oh I think Jane mentioned we have some plans. Do you want to check with her? At some point she will get the message. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:48 AM Flag
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Op-Perfect, thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:50 AM Flag
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np: Call her back and say "David forgot that we discussed not having guests that weekend b/c we are drained from our work and commitments. I'll call you back when I see when our calendar is open". Then do it. What power does she have over you at this point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:09 PM Flag
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Good point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:07 AM Flag
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Your mom is crafty, lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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Want to trade? :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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She knows she has more control over him than you. It’s kind of manipulative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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When my 3rd baby was deteriorating, my parents got my husband to join them in saying I was being neurotic and the baby was fine. I had to grab dh from their grip to get him to come to ER with me. Db was admitted to intensive care and had a 6 hour operation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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This is a marital problem, and DH should shut her right down. Every married person on Earth has to learn this phrase by heart: “I have to check with [spouse]; I don’t ‘now what we have planned.”. Say it WITH the semi-colon. It’s more intimidating that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:43 PM Flag
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That's annoying! OMG [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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My dh knows to say "I have to check with my wife." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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My parents tried this for a little while. DH just stopped replying to them or would just forward the message to me. If they did it in person, he would just say, I don't know, you should ask ____. They got the message. It bothered me a little at first until I remembered that they are sort of crazy and will never change. We don't let them manipulate us any longer, but also don't get offended any longer because they either don't know better or know and don't care. Either way, it's sad for them and I'm so glad I'm not like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Thank God my mother lives far. Here are some things she has done during our stay. 1. My son and daughter have been showering themselves for over a year. My mother insisted to shower each of them because “they are not doing a good job.”(Age 8 and 10). 2. My children are normal weight. We bought breakfast fast for everyone. My daughter was sleeping when we ate. DH and I took a drive. When we came back, she did not eat her breakfast. I asked her why, she said “ Grandma says it is not healthy so she gave me yogurt”. She really wanted what we brought but my mother guilted her. Our children are normal weight range. She commented the other day “I see that your children like bread. You should give them more protein, they are heavy”My daughter always air dries her hair. My mother insisted to blow it out because “it looks nicer and we are visiting family.”. I am so sick of being here. I just want to go home. Thoughts ? Sorry for the length. 61 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 10:47 AM Flag
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The weight stuff is a problem. The hair drying stuff seems fine, to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:07 AM Flag
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Op-You are right. To most people this would not be an issue. The problem is with my mother is that she is hyper critical of everything that I do and never has anything nice to say to my face. Behind my back she praises me to no end and just constantly talking about the age and my children to other people. I feel like an improvement project or prop, not a daughter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:11 AM Flag
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Dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:57 AM Flag
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Would saying something cause a huge fight. It would in with my mom. Just tell her she cant talk about weight with DD and count down the days until you leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:13 AM Flag
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Oh yeah it would absolutely cause a fight. I told her not to treat my children like show dogs and she told me to calm the hell down. We are in Europe now But live in New York City. Now that she is widowed, she is threatening to live here permanently during her retirement because she feels that the “no one cares for her back in New York” . She is mad at DH and I are always busy with work and our children are in school She feels that we don’t make enough time for her. Even if we saw her a few times a month, it would never be enough. The reality is when we get together, she turns it into a criticism test so I minimize my time with her when she is in New York. She is making herself to be the victim. She puts on such a fake show to everyone, that she’s so nice and sweet and caring but really to put it simply behind the scenes she’s very mean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:17 AM Flag
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*Criticism fest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:18 AM Flag
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Op-Thank you everyone for letting me vent, it’s only 1:18 PM here and I feel like my mother has already ruined the earlier part of the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:18 AM Flag
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Try to enjoy your vacation. Don't let her get to you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:21 AM Flag
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I know, thanks. It is so difficult. All she’s doing is criticizing me and my brother and she’s buttering up my husband to get her way. Thank God she just can’t drop on over to our house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:46 AM Flag
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The weight and showering issues are a problem and you need to address them and your mom needs to stop that, the rest is just nonsense that you need to ignore; you should be encouraging her to move to Europe, your life will be easier and she will be happier, especially if she has family there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:34 AM Flag
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“What is the big deal, I don’t understand? She doesn’t know how to wash her self properly don’t you see!” My daughter feels guilty for saying no but she’s definitely not as comfortable with her body now as she starting puberty slowly. At first my mother listened and then when I turn my back she did what she wanted to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 11:48 AM Flag
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Are you me? It is so hard, isn’t it? I may steal your criticism fest expression. I have not found a good solution and not sure there is one. It gets even harder when the kids are teen age as they understandably reject this type of behavior, and grandma can’t deal with it. DH doesn’t come along anymore. For me, it is limiting visits, tuning a lot out, nodding and smiling, and coming to terms with the fact that I will always be a a failure of a daughter in her mind and there is nothing I can do about it. Accessing to her demands only led to more demands. I’d love to say that it got better as she got older but it only got worse. Good luck and please post if you find a winning formula! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:06 PM Flag
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Everyone here is so harsh about their parents. I guess you all regret being born. I'm sure there is a balcony you could jump from. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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And yes, your mom sucks. Therefore what are YOU going to do about it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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Who are you talking to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:19 PM Flag
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OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:34 PM Flag
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Well she is asking advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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Ok, sounded more like a gripe session. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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+1 I posted below, and if she keeps returning each year, why does she expect it to be any different? NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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She expects special treatment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:07 AM Flag
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She was a hyper critical mom to me growing up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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She was a hyper critical mom to me growing up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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She really thinks that we should be able to have mother daughter days., coffee together. Problem is I would never want to stay alone with her. She knows that and is offended [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:09 AM Flag
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If I spent time with her, she would just tear me down [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:09 AM Flag
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This is my mom. She has a way on minimizing and devaluing every single decision. Everything you do isn’t good enough. Showering, food choices, grooming. She competes with me, look what “Amy” ate. I bought it for her because if I didn’t, I know you would never buy it for her. She is a miserable person to be around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:17 PM Flag
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NPD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:14 AM Flag
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Sounds like it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:14 AM Flag
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Sounds exhausting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:28 AM Flag
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Cautionary take of what happens when mother's are too into their children's business. Live your own lives, people. So glad my mother was never like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:24 PM Flag
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*mothers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:25 PM Flag
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True [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:13 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:15 AM Flag
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np My mom has always obsessed over being thin. My brother married an obese woman, so that keeps my mom busy. I was always thin until I hit 40 had 3rd db and went on zoloft. Since my 15 yo dd inherited some fatter genes from dh's side, I'm glad I'm at my fattest now so I can empathize with dd and I don't give a shit anymore so I just buy her the same clothes I'm wearing which minimize our size. For perspective, dd is 4'11' and 114 lbs, I'm 5'1 and 152. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:37 PM Flag
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I remember being about your DDs size and I had a friend who was also chubby and her dad offered us both money if we would lose ten pounds. Ugh. I think it was 5th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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It's all in her tummy and a kid she was a counselor for asked her if she's pregnant. I used to get asked that too, so I commiserated with her. Now that I wear a black top every day with a colorful cardigan, I don't get asked that anymore. And that's what I buy her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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Wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:17 AM Flag
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I don't have good advice. We minimize visits too. I would freak out if my mil tried to shower my kids. They would be so uncomfortable with that. Do you have to stay in the same place with her? Like the same house or apartment? What a bitch. Sorry, OP. How much longer is the vacation? Don't do this trip with her again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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A few more days [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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We can’t wait to leave. She is controlling, and slick about it. She guilt trips and is manipulative [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:19 AM Flag
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Tell your mom to back off and to stop trying to parent your children. You have it handled. Why doesn't she focus on the fun stuff, or keep herself busy, instead of nitpicking your children? It isn't healthy, and if she keeps it up, you won't expose your kids to her anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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Her response is always “I will always be your mother” I just walk away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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She also tries to use my DH to get me to listen to her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:15 AM Flag
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He is on my side completely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:16 AM Flag
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Problem is he is too nice, I am blunt sometimes to the point of flaw [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:16 AM Flag
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DH thinks that I am too direct. Beating around the bush with my mom does not cut it, Being direct does not either. Limiting contac does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:27 AM Flag
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Also I have tried medium chill and sometimes she flips on me. How could I apply it to the situations I listed in op? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:27 AM Flag
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Hi OP, how long do you stay when you visit her? With all respect to family traditions, consider severely limiting this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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2 weeks approx during the summer. Sometimes she stays in NYC and for those few weeks, my brother takes her half of the time and we take the other half. She drives him crazy as well. She is so hyper critical of every ounce of our existence. She is constantly trying to improve us and feels that she can because “I will always be your mother”. She needs something to brag about. I personally think her self esteem is low so therefore she uses us. Mean to our face and praises us when we are not around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:05 AM Flag
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Also it is her house. My parents built it many years ago. Staying at a hotel is an option but I would rather not come here instead. What is the point then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:31 AM Flag
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Yeah, nope. Not okay. Your job as a parent is more important than being a good daughter. You need to run interference for your kids. Your mom harmed you with the criticism, she doesn't get to harm your kids. You are a grown up now, you don't need to tolerate this and really shouldn't. Your job is to protect your kids and some nasty old woman, family or not, does not get to impose an eating disorder or body image issues on children. And the showering is a severe lack of boundaries. If you won't be the interference between the kids and your mom, you shouldn't bring them around her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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Y daughter is very outspoken but when around grandma, she is not. My mom takes jabs at her...”here is yogurt, don’t eat bread for breakfast” . Sadly my daughter does not want to admit that grandma told her not to eat it. Cycle of criticism stops with me and DH. Even for the short time here, I refuse to allow my mom to do it, even if I have to be blunt and sound like a bitch. Unfortunately this does not deter my mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:13 AM Flag
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DH wants me and my bro to sit down with her to air out our issues. She quickly begins to cry and turn it around on us [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:18 AM Flag
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She make sure us feel as if we are the problems, not her. She is “just trying to help us” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:18 AM Flag
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“A mother never stops mothering her children” what she does is not mothering [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:30 AM Flag
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Oh and if don’t respond to her viber message fast enough from nyc, I get Hello????? Well I guess no one goes online.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:21 AM Flag
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Even on viber I refuse to talk to her alone. I put her into a group chat with DH and I because she watches what she says more if DH is there to hear it. If not, she would feel as if it were a free for all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 05:22 AM Flag
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Showering thing went too far. They’re old enough to shower themselves! I would limit visits and also have a sit down with her one on one or write to her. She is emotionally manipulating you. Not healthy to continue. I think you and your brother need to be honest with her even if it will get ugly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 08:39 AM Flag
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Thank you for this answer. My husband said the same thing to sitting down with her. The sad thing is that she manipulates by cying Almost instantly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 09:23 AM Flag
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When I think of my mother, her sister and their mother, they have all similar characteristics. They are always right.They care about appearances to an unhealthy point. They are obsessed with looks. They criticize all of us to our face of the time. Something could be 99% correct but they won’t harp on that 1%. They use family members to approach me or my brother to get what they want. They use us to brag to others but only criticize us to our face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 09:28 AM Flag
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Thank you all for listening. Here is today’s drama. Keep in mind I am six hours ahead. I woke up at 5 AM but went to bed 1am. I was wired and could not go back to bed. I decided to stay up while everyone else slept. Around 8:30 AM I started feeling tired again. So I fell asleep next to my husband. Everyone woke around 9:30 AM. At 10 AM my mother comes to my door and says wake up. Five minutes later she comes back and said wake up! We have company coming over! You can’t be sleeping! They will wonder where you are! I told her to close the door and she said that she wouldn’t. I told her to close the door she said that she wouldn’t. I told her close the door and she did not. She then mouthed off at me saying how I should be waking up. At that point I raised my voice is that I’m an adult and I can wake up when I want to. I to her that I’ve been up since 5 o’clock in the morning sleeping and went back to sleep and I don’t have to wake up right now. She lost it. I told her to leave me alone and stop being controlling and manipulative. She then took a picture of my deceased father and started waving at me with a snarky face. My husband said it was 100% right although he thinks I should have just keep my volume down a bit. Interesting thing is that although yesterday she went to bed at midnight, but typically she goes to bed at 3:30 AM. I know this because she sends me viber messages and says she usually goes to bed this time. That means she’s usually waking up at 10 o’clock or so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.25.19, 09:20 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a huge crush on a guy I met through work (different firms). He kept asking me to get together, which i interpreted as flirtation, but then we had lunch and I started to feel that he was actually just trying to feel some things out about my firm. And i think he picked up that i was interested, possibly because i was being flirtatious at the lunch until i figured out what he was really after. Now i am working with him again and feel kind of stupid. I guess I just need to put it behind me but I keep thinking and fantasizing about him. It's really weird ... I am not usually like this. Maybe there was something I picked up on but he changed his mind? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:29 AM Flag
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You don't know what he's thinking, and he definitely doesn't know what you're thinking. Don't feel stupid, there's no need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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yeah, i guess i feel like i showed my cards a little... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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How do you expect someone to know you are interested if you don't "show your cards"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:07 AM Flag
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First, stop worrying about crushes around people you work with. Second, just forget it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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He sounds like a manipulative weasel. Erase [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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OP sounds like the one who was hot to trot for this guy and completely misconstrued his intentions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] My 16 yr old ds is on the fringe of his group or friends. They have had 4 get togethers since Thursday, and he was only invited to one. Of course, with posting photos, he knows exactly who is having the party and who got invited. It's so hard being a teen these days. I wouldn't look good for him to change public schools (NJ) going into 11th grade, would it? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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It [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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"Look good"??? To who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Is he upset about this? I don’t mean to sound snarky but sometimes these things bother us as parents more than they bother our kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 05:22 AM Flag
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If he wants to do more things, he should think of things he wants to do and then invite people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:07 AM Flag
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He should invite his friends places. Stop waiting for the life you want to happen. Make it happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:12 PM Flag
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Social media is an abomination. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:45 PM Flag
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He can find different friends and invite them places [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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It is tough to transfer in 11th grade, most schools won't take such late transfers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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Why would he transfer schools because you dont think he spends enough time with friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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Transferring seems like more of a hassle then getting off of social media. That said, my friend told me all about how her dd had so many friends over this weekend, her house is just becoming THE house to hang at.. Of course my dd was not invited. Unfortunately she also told me that her dd has panic attacks, i told her that my dd likes time with her family and her close friends maybe thats why she doesnt have panic attacks. I still feel bad that i said that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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Don't change schools all because of his friend group. Kids need to figure out how to cope and deal. Has he texted his friends to see what they're up to? Offered to make plans? He's gotta put himself out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:10 PM Flag
[ - ] It is 53 degrees outside (I’m not in NYC). My husband and I just had a debate on whether the thermostat should be above 68. He wants it on 65. I am in jeans and a sweater. What do you set your thermostat to?? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Where are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Seattle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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san fran? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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I wish. It’s been way too hot here this month. We’re breaking records. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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65 is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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DH, if that’s you, take a hike!! I’m wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants to bed in protest... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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I put it on 68, DH pushes it to 72, repeat, then repeat again, etc. He wants to wear a tee shirt indoors yeqr round, but I prefer a turtleneck with a sweater over it and maybe a base layer under it. Cosy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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I always do 71. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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At hotels, 73 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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It was so hot today ( felt like 106 degrees) that one of our 3 central air conditioners could not cool below 82. We usually set the a/c to 80 when we're home and 83 when we are out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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DH sets it at 66, which makes it about 59 in our bedroom. Chicago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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We set ours to 70 (SF burbs) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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^^ DH would prefer cooler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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Get up and clean something. At 53 degrees, the heat shouldn't even be on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:08 AM Flag
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This - it's either putting on a sweater or burning more oil - which will eventually take care of the cold problem if you want to look at it this way. Can't believe how self-centered people still are re: climate change in 2019. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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The Rec is setting it to 68 In The winter and 78 in the summer. 53? That’s insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:44 PM Flag
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What????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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Personally, I like it slightly cold, so I'm probably with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Any MDs or anyone with experience with this on? DH is 62, never, ever gets heartburn but has had it yesterday (went away) and now again tonight. No sweating or shortness of breath. I'd say it was heartburn - which everyone gets - but for him this is so, so rare my first thought was heart attack. Unlikely? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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That was DH a month or so ago. Had two heart attacks and that was the way it exhibited. Have him get it checked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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OP: Oh dear...tell me more...and is he ok? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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He's fine now. Get it checked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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Like tonight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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If you can go to the ER for and EKG, I would. Not playing around with that again. Even if okay, you'll rest better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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An, not and [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks, doubt he will go for it, sure it is heartburn. We'll see if antacids work... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Not to freak you out but had a friend whose husband had similar symptoms. Let it go and never had it checked out. Diagnosed with esophageal cancer and died within months. Encourage him to see a doctor just to check it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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so sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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DH woke up with heartburn last week. It was food poisoning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.19, 07:32 AM Flag
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