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[ - ] I was out all day and missed HRC's speech. Was it good?? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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yeah. pretty good. nothing surprising, but still good. i was kind of disappointed with the ending. oh wait. that's the SATC movie. what are we talking about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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thanks for the chuckle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:47 PM Flag
[ - ] I think i have a nipple growing on the bottom of my right breast. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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uhhhh... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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that's not a nipple, it's a lesion. see a derm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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i really think it's a nipple. it's raised and looks EXACTLY like my other two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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I don't care. you don't just suddenly grow another nipple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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maybe YOU don't. weird shit happens. third nipples happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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no, they don't. stop being stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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you can be born with a 3rd nipple, but it doesn't show up late in life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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not op: i grew a nipple on my arm. it was crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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you are crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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dude ... you could SO breastfeed in public! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Does this make sense....My husband makes a lot more than I do. But, he works a lot more (although I work full time), and I do essentially everything that needs to be taken care of. He says, however, that we can't live as if he makes the salary that he does (he's biglaw), because you never know when that salary won't be there. And, how I want to say let's decide how to spend "our" money, when really it's the money he makes. What do you think? I mean I know what I think, but is there ANYONE that agrees with him at all? 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Go to a reputable financial advisor together (since he's not listening to you). He/she will explain how much you should save, put away for retirement, etc., to have enough for emergencies. And he's an ass for saying it's his money so he gets to decide how to spend it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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op: he won't do that. i have asked him before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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He sounds amazingly arrogant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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of course not. for me, this would mean the end of the relationship. how do you feel? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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op: i feel like it's the end of the relationship. the problem, of course, is that we have 2 children, and everyone says you need to do everything to work it out. but, if this is the way he feels, what can i do to work it out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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Is there someone he respects who would be on your side, tell him he's being an ass. His dad? His mom? (I'm guessing, though, from how he's acting, that his mom will back him 100%.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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his mom will back him 100%. his mother has NO idea how much he makes. his mother said, "well, now that you've said you will give her a joint account and contribute more, she should be happy." i thought for sure his family would tell him he's being an ass, but they're not. and they don't have money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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you can say that you are considering ending the relationship. you can give him ultimatuums- that you believe in!- like, i will need to do X in this situation (as long as you can carry it out). okay...here is how to start...use SET(support, empathy, truth) "i understand that it must be very difficult for you to make most of the money in the house and i understand it must be very difficult thinking that you may never know when your salary won't be there (empathy). and i support you in the work that you do (support) and I do not think the is fair, i think that the money we spend is our money and if we don't collectively think differently about this, we are going to need to do something about it (truth) go from there. if he does not change his tune in that conversation, then i suggest you read a book called, 'walking on eggshells" or 'stop walking on eggshells" not sure which. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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i did that. i'm about to leave. this is where we are. he will give me more money for expenses. he thinks that's fair. i literally posted this right after he said what i said because i'm trying to find any reason to stay other than that i need to KEEP trying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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do you feel like it is sometimes 'crazy talk' with him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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i feel like i'm going crazy if that's what you mean - i feel like, i can't even believe i'm having some of these conversations, if that's what you mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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does he keep on switching on you, like you can't pin hiim down??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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i'm not sure. he does switch his tune a little in therapy. and, he does waiver between sad and angry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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if you are not sure, then it could be. i think that you are being....sorry to say....but....abused.....subtley,....but insideously. again, i think he is narcissist. there may not be much you could do. except save some money on the side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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your awsome and can be my therapist anyday! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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???do you have problems i can fix? are you op? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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op: no, because i'm OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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I think anyone who lives just a little below their means is smart. But just within reason. Doesn't sound like he's literally calling it "his" money, but you just feel that it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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op: um, no, he literally calls it his money. it's his. it's all separate. if it wasn't, he would still feel this way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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NP: it shouldn't be separate. What's with that? And you pay all the bills on your salary? How is this even close to being an equal partnership [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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op: it's not an equal partnership. that's why i'm 99 percent out the door. literally. i don't pay all the bills. we split them 50/50. now, though, he says he will contribute more. but, the kinds of expenses i want to incur, or the new place i want to live, or if i want to do work, etc., etc., will be up to him (ultimately). he won't sit down with me and go over finances with me, because to him that means spending his money, when he doesn't know what kind of money he will have NEXT year. i mean, i sort of understand that, but not to this extreme. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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Oh, I thought differently because you said "really it's the money he makes." I make a lot more than my Dh and even though I would never outright call it "my money" I really do feel like I have more say over it than he does. That's just how it is. And if he decided to really increase our spending it would put a lot of pressure on me. But I do think the financial advisor idea is a good one. Sorry your DH won't do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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I'm the poster above and just read your 99 percent out the door post, and understand he's sort of beyond reason. You can't be married and keep things that seperate. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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wait....you are the one who makes more money AND you said I can't keep things separate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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np i think those are two different people/. the first one is wrong@!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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No, I am the same person. I originally thought op's DH was just a cautious earner, but when I read more of her post, he sounds overly possesive. Even though deep down, I can't help but think of it as "my money" I don't say it, we've got shared accounts, and we discuss our financial goals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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op: thank you. because, really, i know it's his money. i do. i just want to have shared financial goals. and i want to spend more money than we do, even if he earns it - [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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it's NOT HIS money. it is YOUR money. and a court of law would agree with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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Would a court of law rule that she needs, say, a beach house? Or to spend $4k more a month on housing? (sorry op, not saying these are your demands...just making a point.) Financial decisions in a marriage aren't black and white. The real issue here is that he won't discuss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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you are crazy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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but, the kind of money i'm asking him to spend, won't put him in the poorhouse. he would just need to live like someone who makes 500k a year maybe, instead of 200k a year, when really he makes 1 million a year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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i am a p[oster above. and i don;t think it is about the money at all. it is about the control he has over you. what do you think? is that possible? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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op: i think it is about control - definitely, but i also think it's about control he has with respect to money issues. somewhere in there, it's about control [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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well, then i think you should read my suggestions that i posted here about the book called, 'the search for the real self" or you could read a book about confidence (even if you are confident!) called, "tongue fu" by sam horn. it talks about many different situationsa nd ways you can approach it and if your relationship is even salvagable. (spelling???) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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op: i'm not confident. ok. thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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read both books. i have written a lot of different responses here and you are in a tough situation that i have been in in the past. (how has your relationship been with your own mother?) and that you are right in thinking the way you are, that it is not right. i think you are subtley being abued (which, i know, is a hard word to take). get some reading done, get some of that money put away for yourself in a separate account, see a therapist on your own so that you can speak very openly. are you in NYC? if so, look up james masterson's web site and find a therapist through him. i hate acronyms, but btdt! and it is hard to get out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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are you still there? did you get out? i have money saved. i am ready to go, but having a hard time. WHY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 09:29 PM Flag
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Are those the real numbers? Hey, go for 300K, then, and be happy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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op: those are REAL numbers. that's what i'm saying. i would be happy at 200k if we were a partnership. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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I understand. If he grew up without money, maybe he does have some money issues, but he needs to get over it. Does he give a reason for refusing to work with a financial adviser? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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Ok, here is my input (np), in this order. First, you are married and you should each have an equal say in how the money is spent. However, second as a person myself who makes a lot of money, but didn't come from money, I know what it feels like to never really "comfortable" living the lifestyle you can actually afford, but always in the back of your mind you know you might not always have that. Third, as the person in our family who earns the most and definately bears the brunt of the heavy lifing financially I feel a lot of responsibility for our choices and that it often very scary because it makes you feel trapped. Finally, also as a lawyer muself, I dream of quitting every day and know that if i did my family would be in jeapordy and that is a very...suffocating feeling sometimes and the idea of making myself even more wedded to my job by more financial responsibilty would be upsetting to me. However, finally, I will reiterate, that you are married and should make these decsions jointly and he should not consider it is HIS money, but you should be a little more understaning of the pressure he might be feeling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 09:33 PM Flag
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he doesn't live a little below his means. he lives SIGNIFICANTLY below his means. i think. he has a nice apt. but it's already paid for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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OP, i really think your husband is a narcissist. you may want to read some books on that..."walking on eggshells" and "the search for the real self" by james masterson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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are there any saving graces to this man? good parent? good lover? sense of humor? did you know that he was a skinflint before you married him? I think you need to look at the relationship as a whole before you end it over this money thing. You're in therapy with him. How is that going? I'm searching for positives because you have two kids, because I'm also an atty and believe that a lot of attys are going to lose their jobs in the next year. So I agree with his decision to be cautious. But his insistence that he has more of a say in disposition of hhi b/c he is a high-earner is awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:48 PM Flag
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He's right. You never know when you are going to lose your job, when bonuses/dividends will shrink significantly, or when you will be ill/disabled and earning less. It is a good practice to live on less than you earn and bank a good portion of your income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 09:53 PM Flag
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This will cripple your relationship if you don't take care of it. It's not the money that's the issue here, it's the control. If you don't have a say in how your finances are managed then you're putting yourself and your children in a dangerous position. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 02:02 AM Flag
[ - ] OK, anyone care to weigh in on this? Friend is selling her apt. It's technically a 2 bdrm because the 3rd bedroom has a lot line window. The price will be really low for a 3 bdrm. I say list it as a 3 bdrm but she doesn't think people will scroll down the times RE section website that far and was thinking of listing it as a 2 bdrm 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 06.07.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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I thought a bedroom had to have a closet to be considered a bedroom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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lolol. I've seen many apts that don't have closets in the bedroom. I think to qualify as a bedroom in NYC it needs to have a door. Not even a window [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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np: I was looking for a share a while back, and went to look at an apartment in which my "bedroom" had no windows and hooks on the walls (it was a walk-in closet) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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lol...I've seen closets that they've called bedrooms [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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ha, see my post directly above yours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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I think people looking for a 3bdrm will scroll down to 3 bdrms, so she should do it, as long as it's not dishonest (I don't know what a lot line window is.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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People looking for 3bds in a certain price range will search for that and it'll get picked up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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Our condo was listed as a 2 br when we bought it even though the second bedroom has no closet, and french doors off the living room. My DH thinks we have to list it as a 1 BR when we sell. I think he's nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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she thinks that nobody would bother looking for a 3 bedroom in that price range (like once you get down toward the last 20 listings they are 'fake' ads to get you to call a RE office so they can just show you their listings) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone use those "fitflops"? Do they really give your legs a workout? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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I just got them, they're very comfortable and I did feel something in my calves... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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Bought them today and wore them out and about. They were comfortable. Not sure about a workout, but I have awful legs, so every little bit helps!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 09:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Hey, can anyone recommend a great relaxing spa within a couple of hours of NYC? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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woodlock pines has the most beautiful spa. it was the most enjoyable vacation i took recently [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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thank you! is it a girls' night kind of place though, with pedi treatments and facials, etc.? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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it's called the lodge at woodlock [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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got it. thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:47 PM Flag
[ - ] talk to me about breastfeeding. Have been ebf-ing since db was born 3.5 wks ago. She's a big girl and eats a lot/often. When is the point when it starts to feel less overwhelming? I really want to do this but it would really help if I knew it would get better. will she become more regular in her feedings? tell me what i am in for in the next few months. TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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Start trying to stretch out the space between feedings. DB should be able to go 3-4 hours at this point. Pacifiers are useful for stretching out the feedings. A lot of it is because they need to suck for comfort. Fewer but more substantial feedings are better for them anyway (get more hind milk). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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op: thanks. Usually, in the morning/early afternoon she consistently goes 3 hrs between feedings but after about 3 she starts "snacking" which drives me insane. Have dug myself in a hole about pacifiers—was open to them but wanted to try w/o first but my mil is literally harassing me to use one, which has made me resolve not to use one at all. ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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The pacifier saved me the first few months. Dropped it cold turkey around 4mo with no issues. If you don't use a pacifier, YOU are the pacifier. They need to suck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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hmmm, i think you are so right. is it evil to hide the pacifier from my mil and tell her i'm still not using . . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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Oh I feel your pain. It is far more of a hassle and much more confusing than you ever expected, right? Right now you kind of have to go with it and feed on demand, but try to keep track of when db nurses and you'll start to see a pattern. Once you see the pattern you'll have a better idea of how to start getting db on a schedule (which you'll of course have to keep adjusting). I found ebf'ing to be awful for about 3 months, then it got much much better. After 6 months it was so easy I couldn't believe it. Hang in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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op: the bonding is amazing and i love being her everything but some days I have a hard time coping with her needs and the demands on my body. I was just thinking to myself today that I would set a goal to ebf til 3months! But sounds like if I am going to bother to get to that point I should keep going as that is just when it will let up a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Sorry -- haven't been here in some time so feel free to ignore this: I cried at Clinton's speech. I adore her. She is a fucking rocket scientist with a heart of gold. I salute her tonight. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I actually agree. She's stiff and awkward, but she is what you said [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Oops. Missed her speech [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] someone posted on insideschools.org that they heard the DOE will not be notifying us on G&T placements but the actual schools will be the ones contacting us. Anyone else hear this? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 06.07.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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link please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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it was on the Kindergarten Blog post number 60 I think [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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Yeah, I posted that. I heard it from a DoE source and am sort of freaked out, since the G&T application arrived with a student ID# for my kid(who isn't in the DoE system) and a crazy phone # for our contact info- not even in the same borough! I called to correct it while filling out the app and they couldn't have cared less, so I crossed out the # and wrote in the correct one. I mention this because we [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 09:55 PM Flag
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didn't apply to any district g&t's and only listed one citywide. We haven't gotten any calls/mail from the DoE asking about our lack of app for district(6) schools. I looked over the chart of stats from the DoE and see that they only listed 1 child in entire district qualifying for 1st grade citywide! I'm very suspicious of this- is that my child or is that a bogus report? They are not even backpedaling, so I'm inclined to believe the report that citywides will be first to notify families-not DoE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 10:03 PM Flag
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just fyi, nearly everyone's phone number was wrong on the app. no biggie. just cross it out and put the correct one. someone at doe confirmed this was fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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I can't get on to inside schools. what's up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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I can get to the blog section: http://insideschools.blogspot.com/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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^^^ I can also get to the main page this morning; I couldn't yesterday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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That will be awful--I am sure it would add an additional week to the process and I can see different schools sending things out at different times and us trying to figure out by process of elimination where we have been assigned...Can anyone tell us if this is what they did last year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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Why would they do it that way? Didin't they outsource this to that same company in PA that f^cked up the pre-K admissions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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np: that's what I had assumed also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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Why would they do it this way? It seems contrary to the whole push to centralize the process with the DOE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.08.08, 01:10 PM Flag
[ - ] do you think having a dc with a serious disability is the most awful thing that can happen? does anyone think there is something behind it all? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 06.07.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I think thier could be a lot worse things. I would think it is a hard thing for any family to face. But I think it will make you strong parents advocating for your child's every need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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The most awful thing that could happen would be the death of a child, so no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I'd rather have my child alive with a serious disability than dead [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:34 PM Flag
[ - ] where can i go strawberry picking w/the dcs? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 06.07.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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I bet there are farms in New Jersey. Try googling strawberry farms and pick your own and NYC area [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:35 PM Flag
[ - ] I am shaking my head and laughing over this troll who is lambasting me for my "vapid" post about my son's birthday party and telling me how "tacky" I was to say no gifts. What is the world coming to? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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omg. not only are you vapid and tacky, you are one of those ppl who have to start a whole new post to whine about another post. get a life!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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no need to start another post about it - just ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Consider it done! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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have a good night :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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OP can't. she needs everyone to pat her on the back for being such an AMAZING mother who throws lavish park parties for her kid and asks nothing in return! W.O.W. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I think it's rude to say no gifts for a birthday party. It makes guests feel uncomfortable and unsure--no one likes showing up empty handed to a party, especially for a child. It also says: we don't need the cheap/dumb toy you'd select. Plus, it's stingy for the birthday dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Finally, someone who gets it! I think all these other ppl who are so crazy about this idea are just lazy cheap asses! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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I wouldn't go so far as to say it's tacky, but the no-gifts rule makes me uncomfortable if the dc is anything other than a baby [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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I have no idea whether you're vapid and tacky, but I also dislike the no gifts thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Nanny here: I'm starting a nanny share on Monday for two infants, who coincidentally have the same name. Any suggestions for ways to differentiate when talking about/to them? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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stupidest post of the day award [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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what is the name? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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thanks, that's really helpful. Perhaps it is hard to understand but it is already confusing when talking to the parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Let me guess: You're "tacky" and "vapid" mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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yes. perhaps she can call one Vapid and the other Tacky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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haha nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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I would call one of them by a nickname [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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the name doesn't have an obvious nickname [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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jack and jack? call one of them by their first two initials like CJ or JJ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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yeah, I guess I could try that. Does seem a little unfair that one gets his real name and the other gets stuck with a nickname. ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Call them both by a nickname. Jack B and Jack C or JB and JC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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no one has any actual suggestions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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just tell us the name and we will give you suggestions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I'm afraid it would out me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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it won't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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last initials? DS knows several kids in his class as, say Jack M. or Sara B, when there is more than one kid in the class with the same name. He hardly ever calls them by just their first names when talking about them to a third person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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OK....will try this. I just think it is so funny that they have the same name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:16 PM Flag
[ - ] How would you handle this? My 6 yo ds has become good friends with one of his classmates - she's the sweetest little 6 1/2 yo little girl and we love having her over but the kid's playdates tend to go way over time-wise which can be hard because my ds needs some down time and today, for instance, he didn't have any because he went from soccer to an unexpected quicky playdate with a friend & neighbor to a planned movie playdate with this little girl. It gets hard because our family starts making plans for dinner, bath and bedtime and this little girl's mom STILL hasn't picked her up! And when I try to call her mom, I tend to get her voice mail. And then like an hour or so later she'll call back - and by the time she comes to pick her dd up, MY ds is cooked, stick a fork in him, OVER DONE. Sorry so long but how would you handle this, in the future? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Don't you just ask her to pick up dd by a certain time? And she doesn't? That's weird. She's taking advantage. I would just be clear that you have plans for TK time, I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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OP: well, I think part of it is cultural - they're Latin and just not as hung up about time as we are. The mom will say something like, "so around 5 o'clock, then?, ok - give me a call - I'll be around ..." and then I'll give her a call at 5, get her voice mail and leave her a message saying that my ds is beginning to fade so why doesn't she come pick her dd up now ... and then she'll call back an hour or so later, as her dd is saying she's hungry and wants dinner, and THEN she'll finally come pick her dd up around 6:30 or so. This has happened every time the kids play together at our home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Then say, you HAVE to pick her up at 5 pm - NO later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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don't be a doormat. Say no to the 3rd playdate in a day or say, you have to pick her up by 4 - so the playdate is over then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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"could you please pick up doreen by 5 today? we have plans" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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OP: BTDT ... the other week dh and I had anniversary dinner plans and I was clear on the time I needed her to pick her dd up. She ended up being over an hour late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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then I guess I would stop having playdates with the little girl. Explain to her mom why. I still think she's taking advantage, Latin or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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OP: perhaps - but this mom is a very hard working single parent ... she's in real estate and can have a crazy schedule - thus, the reason why I get her voice mail so often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I'm a hardworking single parent too. That only gives you so much of an out. You are being nice about it, but you can't have open-ended playdates, so.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Next time say - " hmmm...we're really not free for a playdate unless you can be 100% sure you can be here by 5 pm to get her because I have plans." If it happens again, no more playdates at your apartment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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^if it happens then , take the girl and ds to an inconvenieint place and have her pick her dd up there!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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she is using you. you either have to decide to suck it up, or stop the playdates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] xpost: Have 2.4 yo twins that will be starting school in September. DW is pregnant with 3rd ds, due end of August. Besides the obvious - things will be insane, what can I expect from older twins reaction to new sib. Can I take any solace that they will have each other and have never been the sole center of their parents universe? Any other good advice from 2+1 families? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 06.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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I'm a 1+1 and the older child did not react well. Can you send the twins to a summer program so they don't think you are shipping them off b/c of the new baby? FWIW- About 10 months later, the older child is much better. It might be better since your twins have always had to compete. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Have 2.4 yo twins that will be starting school in September. DW is pregnant with 3rd ds, due end of August. Besides the obvious - things will be insane, what can I expect from older twins reaction to new sib. Can I take any solace that they will have each other and have never been the sole center of their parents universe? Any other good advice from 2+1 families? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Have no advice (I only have one ds), but I felt bad that no one answered you. All I can say is, it will all work out...eventually! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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Thanks for responding. I remember when this site used to be for people to get information on parenting, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.12.08, 11:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Does your nanny use bjorn or ergo with infant so she can help 3 year old 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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no. when i interviewed my nanny, she stated that she will never wear those things bc it hurts her back. i still hired her, and she turned out to be worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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so what did she do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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bouncy seat, stroller, etc. she managed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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