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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Please no flames. Ten years ago Dh and I were in serious drug therapy. He for cocaine and me for alcohol and cocaine. We stopped for three years before trying for first DC. Now we want a second but DH relapsed two weeks before we conceived. I am 8 weeks pg and am worried about the effects of the drugs in DHs system the night we conceived. He is totally clean but I am SO SO worried about DB. Anyone have any insight into this, experience or medical knowledge? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
TTC 07.07.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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good grief what did he relapse on alcohol or drugs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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drugs. cocaine and marijuana [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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i wouldn't worry about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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goodness, you have been through a lot. Everything should be fine with db though, don't worry too much, just hope your dh stays clean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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TY that is very kind of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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Good luck to you all, and I really hope that you and your dcs will help remind your dh to stay clean for your sakes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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Again you are great thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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Yw. good luck and don't worry, you'll have a beautiful healthy baby! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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My father was an alchoholic coke addict. I am fine, I typed this with my flippers! j/k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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That was funny, thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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I am serious about being fine though... My dad didn't get clean until three years ago, and I have never met him. So, good for you and your husband! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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You don't belong on UB you are way way too nice. Thank you very much and gl to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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Baby will be fine. Just make sure you take care of yourself, I'm sure you're so stressed out about the relapse. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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It's so very unlikely for anything a DH does to affect his sperm (all the burden is on us moms :) ). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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God I could HUG you how did I get so lucky on UB to find such caring women, thank you for your support [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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you'll be OK and DB will be OK as long as you stay clean ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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Oh I will! I have been for ten yrs TY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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You'll be great ! Don't worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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TY TY TY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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We moms do all the hard work and obviously you are used to working hard for what you want to have. I hope all is smooth sailing ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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Drugs (taken by men) really only hurt the chances of conception, they don't contribute to birth defects, ect. So if you conceived, your baby really should be fine. Congrats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:27 PM Flag
[ - ] My ds had fever on Thursday/Friday and then got better on Saturday. So we went on a play date Sunday morning. Today I found that he is still sick. Should I warn play date parents? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.07.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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leave it, you thought he was better and waited the requisite time, I wouldn't get them jumpy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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I always let parents know if my ds comes down with something shortly after a playdate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Serious sleep issues with my 11 month old ds. We started letting him fall asleep on us - bad idea?? advice, please! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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Only bad idea if you aren't willing to continue with it for a long time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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If it works for you, that's fine. If it's a problem, then you can break the habit. It will probably take a week and maybe some crying. Do what works for your family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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How long to let him cry? Putting down or night wakings or both? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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Go the Barnes and Noble and read Ferber, No-Cry Sleep Solution, or another one of those sleep books. Do what feels right for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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thanks for your advise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:12 PM Flag
[ - ] bought a house. have no intention of selling it any time soon. 'Cleared' the backyard even though town rules probably dont allow it. If we finish the basement is it better to try to get a certificate of occupancy or keep a low profile (because of the cleared backyard)? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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But won't you need a permit, thus signaling the town you are doing renovation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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why doesn't the town allow you to clear the backyard? I'm confused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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i would say no permit. why ask for trouble? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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wetlands nature preserve stuff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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wow, OP, you suck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:21 PM Flag
[ - ] DC #1 was conceived before we were married so we were not keeping track. Now we want dc#2 and just had sex in day 1 of ovulation. What are the chances I might be pg and when can I find out. TIA 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
TTC 07.07.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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If you only had sex the day of ovulation, not very good. I got positive opk on 12dpo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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Thanks. So then we should continue for the next ten days? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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continue having sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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When you say day 1 of ovulation, do you mean the day that you ovulate? You should be having sex every other day up until your ovulation, not the 10 days after. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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I got pregnant both times this way...first month trying coming off the pill. if op is fairly fertile..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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ok thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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That's how I got my ds. Was keeping track w. a kit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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you need to relax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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I know just asking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:08 PM Flag
[ - ] On vacation, my Ipod got tossed around in seawater. Is now nonresponsive. Is it toast or is there anything I can do? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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toast [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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But nicely salted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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tasty... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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no butter, though... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Which country is the fastest in which to adopt a baby, and approx how long does the entire process take? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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US. Depends on too many factors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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no idea but I've read somewhere (I think the NYT) that a lot of countries are shutting down international adoptions. The article recommended to go with an agency that handles them for a lot of countries, so you won't be out of luck if the country decides half-way through the process to stop allowing foreign adoptions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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domestic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:59 PM Flag
[ - ] My 3.5 mo dd most likely has strabismus (one eye crosses in and sometimes out). We have an opthamologist appt in a 2wks, but anyone else had experience w/ this? It seems to be a mild case...I notice it in pictures and my ped thought something looked a little off w/ her left eye, but did not immediately say it was strabismus. We are seeing Mark Steele in nyc. tia. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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I have strabismis. With young kids they sometimes give them a patch over their "good" (not crossing) eye to help train the "bad" one, or glasses. Not really a big deal at all, many children outgrow it in time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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A friend of mine used him, I beleive, for her ds many years ago. He did have strabismus and ultimately had eye surgery for it, but is totally fine now and has been since the surgery. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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I have something very similar, although it's barely noticeable and it's called "Duane's Syndrome." I thought my dd had inherited it from me so I took her to Emily Ceisler (partner of Mark Steele) when dd was around 13 mos. Turns out dd doesn't have it. My parents told me I could have had surgery when I was 2 yo, but they opted against it, since mine is a mild form. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:22 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your favorite tip/tricks for flying with 2 under 2? I have done it before and am not overly concerned but was just looking for those "great ideas" that I haven't thought of. TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.07.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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portable DVD player and headphones [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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new toys that they've never played with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:52 PM Flag
[ - ] appropriate bedtime for 2.5 y.o.? TIA 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] bed time for 2.5 y.o.? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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Yes, definitely good to have one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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thanks, any advice about appropriate time? Now 7:30 pm too early? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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I think it really depends on your family and your child. What time does he seem tired? What schedule works for your family? At that age, if the family is on a later schedule, that's fine. If you need to be on an earlier one, like 7:30, so he will wake earlier, do that. I think Ferber,AAP, etc. all have approximate guides about how many hours a child that age needs (probably around 12-14). Work from there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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What time does he have to get up in the morning? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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he doesn't start work unitl 8 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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^^^ s/he should be getting 11 hours a night, so if needs to get up at 7:00, schedule accordingly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a dyslexic child? At what age were they diagnosed? 5yo DS is very bright (99 ERB), but isn't reading yet, reverses certain word sounds (aminal not animal), just now settling on left handedness, mirror writes. I read that reversals are common until 6yo. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.07.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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That is totally normal & reading at that age has nothing to do with intelligence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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ITA normal. Dyslexia really can't be truly diagnosed until around 6.5-7. Most 5yos are not reading. Signed mom of kid with dev delays [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Most 5 yo dyslexics don't read yet so I am guessing you are safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 01:03 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to have my second child soon and i really want it to be a VBAC. I am looking for a VBAC OBGYN in Brooklyn or Manhattan. Someone who will really try for the VBAC and not settle for a c-section. I had an "emergency" c-section for my first pregnancy and I just did not sit well with me, b/c i feel that the OB could have taken other measured before sprinting me into surgery. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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BTDT, successfully I might add. And I can tell you that while it makes a big difference to find a supportive doctor, none will "give" you the vbac--they will go along with it, sure, but you have to make it happen through sheer force of will, and the odds are against you. You should certainly change OBs, but you should also hire a great doula and learn everything you can about labor and vbac so you can do practically all your labor at home and get there for them to catch the baby. Once you get into that hospital bed, you're in the hospital's hands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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I should also say that the vbac meant the world to me. I found the whole process of finding the right people and learning what I needed to very positive and psychologically healing for me after an emergency c-section that also wasn't called for imho. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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are there doulas who take insurance? or is that really a reach? Also how soon into the pregnancy do you get one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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I don't know of any insurance that will pay for a doula, but maybe there's a tiny chance you could convince yours? I am almost positive no doula takes insurance directly. The fees vary tremendously, though, and you could hire a "student" doula for next to nothing, though I would want someone with more experience for a vbac. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 03:35 PM Flag
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At my old hospital they provide doulas for free to everyone, so sad I moved before db was born. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 03:43 PM Flag
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Scott Postell in Park Slope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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Are you pregnant yet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Really dumb question, I know, but bear with me. I've never seemed to be very "good" at woman on top sex. What's the best movement to do? it's like I can't get enough movement going...any ideas? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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put your legs in front of you, with your knees up, and sort of "bounce"... my dh can't get enough of this, althoughit makes my legs tired pretty quickly (you can think of it as doing really intense squats) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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