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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I wish I had a summer home. Must be nice. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 07.07.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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Expensive PITA is more like it on most days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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to maintain? but you enjoy through the summer and weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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To maintain, to pay a mortgage on, to open in the summer and close in the winter, etc. But yes, there are times when it is the most wonderful thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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Enjoy! I wish I had a friend with a summer home who'd invite us over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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our second home is more than a summer home - we use it all year round and we love it. It is very modest and in a modest area but it makes me so happy that dc have learned to enjoy nature, hiking, fishing, etc. Very expensive (even a modest one) but so worthwhile for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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upstate ny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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Yes! how did you guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:20 PM Flag
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where in upstate NY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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It is nice -- but it gets "harder" as DC get older and have their own weekend plans/obligations. My DC also go to sleepaway camp (they're older), so it's not as though we're there all summer as family (although, obviously, that's our choice). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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do you have a second home? can they go to camp for part of the summer instead? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:31 PM Flag
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We have a house in Hamptons. Very nice. Expensive but worth it. Kids can run around backyard, beach nearby. Heated pool in the yard so kids jump in anytime. Great summer camp in the neighborhood. Fresh fruit and veggies. Can't imagine not having Hampton house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:52 PM Flag
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I would be afraid of having a pool in the yard. How old are your dcs? would be scared of drowning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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The pool is gated. When they go to the pool, we have to open it for them. Of course adults are with them when kids are near the pool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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how expensive is a house like that. we would love it. don't need fancy, just a space and a beach, maybe a pool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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np- If it is in the Hamptons, on the beach, it will be fancy and expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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2.5 million. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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ouch! can we come for a visit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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I have one and it is truly lovely! I got it from L.L. Bean ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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Mixed blessing. We use ours year round and 4 yo DS is equally adept navigating streets and woods. 2.5 hr door to door. Berkshires. It is alot of work to maintain 2 houses though we have cleaning person in city. We tried using a property manager (2 different) but that failed miserably. Nobody will take care of your home the way you would. Have had the house 11 years. It is much easier if your parents or inlaws have the house and you can fib and day its yours! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 09:08 PM Flag
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we're lucky, IL's have a place we can use. But if makes you feel any better, I'm covered head to toe in bug bites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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Try the Pocono Mountains... we custom built a 4 BR, 4B with lake view for 300K. Western Poconos especially is lovely, 2 hr. 20 mins. away so not as close as Easter Poconos where many commuters live... Eastern part feels like suburb, Western part like country mountain vacation area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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Sullivan County in the lower Catskills is really affordable and only 90 miles from GWB. We bought a 3 BR, 2 BA home with lake rights for under 150K. We love having a place to go to year round but use it mostly in the summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 05:42 AM Flag
[ - ] Just saw thi and liked and agreed with it: Public school moms on UB: so many are crazy. the fight the sytem mentality gets tired. it is also abused by so many looking for anything to scream about. I cannot support this approach any longer. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 07.07.08, 02:45 PM Flag
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Maybe their not screaming over nothing. Maybe their screaming over things that don't seem important to you or your child. It seems like it's a badge of honor now to not scream. No one wants to be the crazy one or to be called entitled. So the quieter you are the saner you can seem? I do not get it. I believe women should fight and scream and use their voices. I want my dd to do the same. I don't support the stepford wife thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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meant THEY'RE no their [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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oy...so glad we are going private! the idea of women screaming and using their voices because no one at the doe got back to them within 24 hrs makes my skin crawl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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So OP your DC is in a great private school that just landed in your lap? Seems to me you have to fight for any good school in this city, public or private. And, my God, how the f*** would anything change for the better without someone advocating? Do you think the NYC public school system is just fine the way it is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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are you drunk? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Hi, my boss invited me to her son's bar mitzvah in the fall (haven't gotten the invite, just a verbal one that it's coming b/c she's planning now so it's on her mind a lot). What do i get the boy/man? They live in Rye or Scarsdale or somewhere swanky in Westchester. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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OP: also, does it help to know that he's very into the yankees and plays soccer? (i imagine this is true of most boys? I have 2 girls under 3 so what do I know?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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Give cash. $180 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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Are you serious? $180?? That's frickin' insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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a nose job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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I would skip it, the presents that are expected are crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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OP: in fact i am not likely to be able to go. but still i have to give a gift, dontcha think? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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cash - whatever you can afford to give as a gift. $180 is ridiculous for your boss's son, imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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probably, but less than $100 is also probably not a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:09 PM Flag
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Cash in a multiple of $18, is lucky because it sounds like the word life. I am Catholic, BTW, just have read this over & over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:07 PM Flag
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OP: thanks everyone! I'm not jewish, but grew up in heavily jewish L.I. town so i knew it would be steep. honestly, considering how much it costs to throw one of those things, I can see where the $180 comes in! I didn't know about the multiple of 18 thing so that's great advice. non-jewish adolescents totally miss out, don't they? i know i certainly resented not getting that kind of loot when i turned 13! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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Hey, you had Christmas each and every year. Let us have this, OK ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Poll: SAHMs with infants, do you leave the apt with baby every day? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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My DD is only 1 mo old (today was her 1mo check up and she gained 2 lbs!) but lately, I get out with her every day, even if only a walk around the block. The first two weeks, however, I only went out if i absolutely had to. DH did most errands as I could barely walk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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L is that u?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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We went out for db's dr checkups ..didn't really go out until 8 weeks old but went out b/c i had to go run errands. i felt lousy and sore (c-sec) and didn't feel better until 3 months...went out every other day if the weather was nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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2-3 times a week. I often don't get it together, ie shower, change out of pjs, to make it everyday and DC is 3 mos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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Yes, unless the weather is really awful. I didn't though until about 6 wks pp. now that ds is 7 months it's more fun bc we can use the swings, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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I did when dd was an infant bc she was a summer baby - if I had a winter baby no way I'd be out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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I had a summer baby and my parents came into the city to make me take the baby out for a walk at about a week or two old. After that I think I got out every day. By the end of maternity leave I was going in cabs, etc. My SIL was a sweetheart and would stop by and help me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 07:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Are private moms all at their summer homes? No private posts... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 07.07.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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public school moms of note from notable publics are also summering in the hamptons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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Noted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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WE have internet access in bridgehampton, but our kid goes to public scvhool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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^school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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nope. going to work to pay tuition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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you tell it sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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nope..here in the city. Have to work to pay bills and tuition. We will take 1 wk off for a quick family vacation but back to the grind [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:20 PM Flag
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I'm here too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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No, I'm at work! Can only go out to the beach on the weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 06:56 AM Flag
[ - ] throwing a children's party at a restaurant, anyone have any recommendations for entertainment? magician, balloon maker, face painter, etc. (children are mixed ages) 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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Just went to a great 3 yo's party where there was a children's yoga teacher. she read a book and did yoga engaging the kids with the animal names and poses. i think it was from a program called Little Flower. you'll have to google it. specific teacher was named jennifer. hope that helps! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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sounds like a nice idea but i wouldn't be able to do it in a restaurant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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duh! sorry, i read quickly! (although she taught in a very small space -- but agree with you you wouldn't want the kids on a restaurant floor! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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pinkie the clown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone totally shocked when they found out they were pg? Like, using b/c that didn't malfunction, barely had sex in the past month, etc? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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yes. was on minipill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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op: we are using condoms (b/c we heard the minipill didn't work very well). But I am having some suspicious symptoms and am freaking out. Not ready to be pg again yet. I'm sure its nothing but i dread getting a test [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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yes, me. had sex one time during the month (dh was traveling a lot), I was 46.5yo. When I told him, he said "who's the father?". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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but were you using b/c? Not that it was very likely anyway.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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no -- didn't bother. still don't, but pretty sure (this time) won't get pg again at 48 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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yes, I was 10 mos pp, ebfing, no period yet, DH was travelling a lot that month and think we had sex 2x total, both with condoms. I took 5 tests before I believed it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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yes - using spermicide and only had sex one time when i thought i wasn't ovulating. now i'm 23 wks pg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] When I was younger, in college and until I met DH at 26, I had a certain something. I'm not beautiful, but smart and funny and never didn't get the guy (I was sort of what would be "indie" now, but was just out of it then). Now that I've been with DH for 12 years, I miss those days of exciting first kisses and everything. Anyone with me? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.07.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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that is called being easy and promiscuous. I'm sure you were a wild success at it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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oh yes, because kissing people in your 20s is so slutty. Please! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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i second that emotion. your emotion, but not the emotion of the bitter first responder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:21 PM Flag
[ - ] When I was younger, in college and until I met DH at 26, I had a certain something. I'm not beautiful, but smart and funny and never didn't get the guy (I was sort of what would be "indie" now, but was just out of it then). Now that I've been with DH for 12 years, I miss those days of exciting first kisses and everything. Anyone with me? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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come on. anyone? no one feels this way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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yup, me. I'm kind of bored right now (dh works really hard, and when he's home he's usually too exhausted to do anything besides watch tv (or have sex)); I often think of past bfs and how I'd like to see them again (not for sex, just to talk to, spend time with) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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I've been with dh for 16 yrs and I see what you are saying but I don't miss the what comes after the first kiss (drama)..but I do know what you mean. I find when dh get a little alone time (maybe an over night away) I feel like it's a first kiss again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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really? I've been trying to figure out how to get that. The sex is great but not in that same uncharted territory kind of way. I miss not knowing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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yes we just went away to CT for 2 nights and it was like we were dating again. I think since we don't get time alone (2 kids and pg again) we really made the best out of the alone time. DH was giddy..he was holding my hand, walking with his arm around me, ect. I really felt like we did at the beginning. We talked, laughed, sat in silence but just would glance at each other. It was great. I rec. doing this if you could [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Today I shopped for an suit to bury my grandmother in. I found myself determined to find something so she could look beautiful in. Her clothing was stolen from the nursing home and my horrible aunt threw out the suit I had bought her for my wedding. I then had to drop it off at the funeral parlor. Ugh...I will miss her but glad she isn't suffering anymore. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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I'm so sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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op: thx. She had alzheimers and it was a slow painful death. I'm just happy that she doesn't have to suffer any longer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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I had a grandmother die in a similar situation, not alzheimers, but a long painful decline. I know that it is a relief to no longer see them suffer, but it is still so hard to let go of someone you love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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op: yes very true. I'm the first grandchild and was her baby. I'm just glad I have a life time of great memories with her and glad she got to meet my 2 dc. I'm pg now and the fact she won't know my 3rd is a little sad but even if she was alive for a few more months, she wouldn't have known what was going on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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It is sad to know that all that is left (here on earth at least), is memories. They will never be able to celebrate with you again. I'm sorry that you're going through all this while pg, that can't be helping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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op; yes you are right..all I have are the memories and lots of pics. Thanks for your kind words [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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I'm glad that you have such good memories though, so many people let the illness color how they remember the person. I hope that the next few days go easier on you than today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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I am so sorry for your loss. and sorry you had to spend your time this way-so awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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Alzh. is tougher for the family/caregivers than for the patients themselves... you must be relieved too in a very sorrowful way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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op: yes I'm very relieved that she isn't suffering anymore. She wasn't herself for many yrs and had no sort of life in the nursing home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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i am sorry. i recently lost my grandmother a couple of months ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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op: thx..sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:14 PM Flag
[ - ] the pediatrician i am thinking of using doesn't do interviews. this means the first time i would meet her is in the hospital after i give birth. is this normal? should i arrange for a few ped's to come then so i feel like i am making an informed choice (i have 3 that i am thinking of, all affiliated w/ the hospital where i am delivering). thanks. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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I have 2 kids and never interviewed a ped. Have you asked your friends for recs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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yes. none of them take my insurance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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what area are you looking for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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ditto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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Don't worry. I didn't interview any, and after about a month with the one we used, I decided to change and have been happy since. The early stuff is very basic and anyone can do it, then you can go on your gut. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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sure--and I should add, the one we switched from was the ped of good friends. Different people like diff. things, so there's no telling you'd love a friends ped anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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We planned to use 1 based on word-of-mouth but another doc from the same practice was the one on-call the day I delivered. We liked him so much we stayed with him instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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We interviewed a few peds before DC #1 and picked the one we thought was the best match based on what we learnt in the interview. Two months after the birth we switched doctors because while he was pretty ok his fellow partners and the admin staff were horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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While I'm not sure how much an interview could really tell you about a ped, I might be wary of one who refuses to take the time to meet you before you are his patient. Just a thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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Who pays for the doctor's time when you are interviewing him/her? Insurance isn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:12 PM Flag
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i requested aninterview but dr's office doesn't do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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asked ob for a recommendation and then met ped after ds was born. partner was doing hospital visits so didn't meet dr until first office visit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 04:06 PM Flag
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Tellus who she is and we'll tell you about her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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The ones I am thinking of: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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The ones I am thinking of: Hochlerin, Van Gilder, Orbe. They all take my insurance and are within walking distance to my apt (though some are closer than others). Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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i interviewed a ped, cause i didn't know any better, he seemed fine and was set to use him, then i delivered and my ob loved another ped, had them come, and the dr who ended up being on call was so fantastic, started using them and never looked back.. just start with one who is close to where you live and recommended by friends, interview won't help, cause when the shit hits the fan, that is when you'll know if the dr works with your family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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I agree, don't worry. It's so easy to switch after, and my Dr. wasn't allowed to come to my hospital so a different pediatrician (that I like better but isn't convenient - a Dr. the UWS, she had a daughter Maddie and was young) came instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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op: thank you all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 09:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Need advice on weaning. DB is almost 11 mo, nurses in am, takes 1 bottle/day and 1 bottle at bedtime. Have started adding some cow's milk to the bottles of bm in small amounts after DB rejected cow's milk on its own. Want DB on cow's milk at a year. How do I proceed over the next 5 wks? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Newborn 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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I thought that you weren't supposed to start on cows milk until 12 mo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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Ped said it's ok to try at 10mo. We tried at 10.5mo and DB has no probs digesting it, which is the concern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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learn something new every day;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:16 PM Flag
[ - ] what is your definition of "affectionate"? Give an example of how this plays out between you and DH. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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my dh can just pass me and slap my ass or touch my shoulder..that's affectionate to me. He can kiss me passionately or just hold my hand..it's what I love (the little things) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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DH says it's all about physical touching, hand holding, smacking his ass I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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Kiss him on the lips, hug him from behind when, tell him how sexy he is. Whistle when he gets out of the shower. Let him know you are interested, they love it and appreciate it, just like we do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:51 PM Flag
[ - ] how can i find babysitters for weekend nights, so my dh & I can go out. haven't been out in months. asked friends, but no one knows anyone to sit. families are out of town. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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sitter city [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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try the college campuses [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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Ask at your school -- office usually has suggestions of good sitters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Anthony Bourdain married? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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yes, and he has a little girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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I love him. he recently married an Italian woman and they have a daughter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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and his wife used to UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
[ - ] DH told me last night I wasn't affectionate enough toward him and he threatened to go find someone who would be. We will be getting counseling, but I'm a SAHM for 8 years -- what should I do now to protect myself and my kids in case this goes badly. We've been married for 15 years. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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Can you just be more affectionate toward him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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Mine has said this on more than one occasion. I spend so much time w/ the kids,i don't have a lot of energy to be affectionate. I am trying to make a real effort to do it though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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I heard great advice on UB about going to every hard a** divorce lawyer you can find and have a consultation, that way dh can't use them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Do you really want to "go low" this early? Give the guy some attention, he's actually telling you what he needs and wants, maybe there is something you'd like him to do to help you more in the marriage, like the dishes or something. If you don't want to got down that Divorce Road at least tey to accomadate him (write it down to remind yourself) he doesn't care how you get there, just that you do. It's a small price to pay instead of a Divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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That's great advice, going to all the "hard ass lawyers"? You are a moron. A bitter desperate, vengeful woman does stuff like that. Why would you suggest that as the first thing she should do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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I think "more affectionate" might be code for--he wants more sex. Just basing this on men in general--I feel like 90% of the time they view their happiness in a marriage on how much they are getting. Of course this might be too simplistic, just a thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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no, it's really not about sex. he says it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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^^^ is more about touching and "noticing he is around". I was not raised in an affectionate home, so it doesn't come naturally for me, though I have made a concerted effort with the kids and that is pretty natural now. romantic affection is very foreign to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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ok. Then you are the one who should get real help in this department. Have you tried therapy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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I was also not raised in a very "touchy-feely" family--I know it can be hard. I am verbally affectionate but not always naturally physically. I think it would be a great idea to try it--give him a back-rub, take a shower together, hold his hand, sit close on the couch. Maybe ask him what kinds of touch he is talking about. The more you do it, the more natural it may become. I am concerned about the fact that he threatened to leave though--that seems very extreme. Counseling will probably help. I wouldn't talk to a lawyer just yet--he may feel very threatened by that move. There will be plenty of time to explore that option if efforts to repair the marriage don't go well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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Your options are pretty limited. Obviously, try to work it out. Ask DH for a postnup to protect you and dc financially. And think about what you will do for money if you do divorce. Many SAHM get screwed through divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:29 PM Flag
[ - ] does it matter which bedrail we buy? any recs? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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I like the extra-long one from One Step Ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend an entertainer for a 5 year old's birthday party in the Hamptons (specifically the Quogue/Westhampton/Remsenburg area)? Thanks! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.07.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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Sammie and Tudie are based in NYC but will travel out to the Hamptons. You can find them at www.imaginationplayhouse.com. We've used them quite a bit in NYC, but I have friends who are further out east than you are, and they've had Sammie and Tudie at their parties. They do a 45-minute show plus face painting and balloon animals/sculptures. Both are very talented. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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jlo and mark [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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If jlo says no (rumour is she's the boss, he's too thin as a result of the stress) Broadway Babies goes out there too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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