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[ - ] Anyone divorce when DCs were teens (middle school and high school)? Did you date at all, or wait until everyone left for college? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:34 PM Flag
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dated discretely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:35 PM Flag
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lol Excellent typo. :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:36 PM Flag
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what typo? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:37 PM Flag
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so basically you didn't tell your DCs? I assume you had shared custody, so some days without them at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:38 PM Flag
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DH rarely took kids. Only youngest at home, so I went out when she had sleepovers, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:48 PM Flag
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Got it. And did you basically just date very casually, no expectation of any kind of relationship? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:51 PM Flag
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really dont want relationship [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:14 PM Flag
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np. discretely and discreetly are two different words. You probably meant the 2nd and used the 1st [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:39 PM Flag
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haha, yes discrete number. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:49 PM Flag
[ - ] What should I bring for visiting day at dds camp? Its her first summer and I didn't know it was customary to bring bunk stuff/food. I don't want to be the only parent who shows up with nothing. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:26 PM Flag
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Off, cookies and fruit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:27 PM Flag
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Really? I didn't know I need to bring something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:31 PM Flag
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candy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:35 PM Flag
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Food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Ate half a pepperoni pizza. Am pig. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:16 PM Flag
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I've went through 1/2 jar of nutella. Difference is that I'm really a pig...sigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:17 PM Flag
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Reading that made me hungry for pizza. Ordering now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:29 PM Flag
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at this point you should just say still pig [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:37 PM Flag
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Oink oink [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone feel that NBC is becoming too back. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:15 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:19 PM Flag
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what does too back mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:27 PM Flag
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Not front enough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:40 PM Flag
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LMAO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:43 PM Flag
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You gave me the giggles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:05 PM Flag
[ - ] How many days in a row can a fight (not talking anymore) go on with DH before it appears that divorce is inevitable? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:06 PM Flag
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OP: We're on day 3 now, but since he won't even respond to texts about the kids, or answer when I ask him questions directly in front of the kids, it's looking bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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what was the fight about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:08 PM Flag
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Nothing specific, unfortunately. We had our 3rd child 1 year ago, so of course tensions run high at home in general. I feel the pressure to bring in the income, since his "feast or famine" own-business, is mostly famine for many years now. So when he comes home after me from work and snaps at me about doing things for the kids in the evening, I have snapped back resentfully these last few weeks. When I confronted him about how long he was going to ignore me and let this fight go one, he angrily said that he had it "up to here" with my disrespect, snapping, etc. He's never said that before, so its obviously upsetting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:14 PM Flag
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Divorce is so, so not inevitable. Don't worry. It wasn't an affair or anything. You wait till your ready and tell him to stop sulking, you guys need to talk. If you need counseling, get it. But sounds pretty normal actually given 3 kids and how young the baby is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:21 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:23 PM Flag
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agree with this. now our youngest is almost 6, and i can see how hard it was when they were so young... hang in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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OP: thank you again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:31 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you(!) Appreciate your words very much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:31 PM Flag
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Aww, you're welcome. Hugs. (p.s. many of us have been there. it gets better.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:33 PM Flag
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No advice. Just wanted to give you big hug. Sorry you're going through this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:22 PM Flag
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OP: Wow. You guys are great tonight. Thank you so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:31 PM Flag
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DH and I did not speak to each other from December 24th until January 28th, a few years ago. Not one single word. Everything is fine now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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Lol. Do you guys ever acknowledge that time now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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Never. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:28 PM Flag
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Wow! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:29 PM Flag
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I'm fascinated. Who spoke first? And what did they say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:48 PM Flag
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I did. I said, "blah-blah-movie is on, if you want to watch it." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:52 PM Flag
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Huh. He answered normally, and then you didn't talk about it again? I didn't talk to my dad for a couple of weeks when I was a kid, and it kind of ended that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:53 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you again. These words truly mean a lot to me right now. Truly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:32 PM Flag
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counseling stat. divorce is not inevitable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:25 PM Flag
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Divorce is a choice. I used to get so angry when DH wouldn't talk to me after an argument. Now I just don't care. Its so passive aggressive. Dont have time for those games. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:31 PM Flag
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I wonder if deep down he's bothered you're having to work so hard and is more sensitive about respect etc because it's not how he wants situation to be. You are in a tough phase. It's so irritating, however, to be with someone who can dish it but can't take it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 12:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Am I awful? My sisters wedding pics have been posted for a week and I haven't looked. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:03 PM Flag
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No, I never look at my family's vacation pictures. I always get those notifications from shutterfly or whatever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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I forgot the access info so feel like an ass asking now. I was there though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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Don't feel like an ass if its only been a week!! Just call your mom and ask her for the password. Or just ask your sister-- NO ONE is going to care that you haven't looked for one week, unless your sis is a major prima-donna! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:16 PM Flag
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Tell them you lost password. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:52 PM Flag
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No. you lived the wedding, you don't need to look at all the photos immediately (unless your sister wants your opinion on them). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:08 PM Flag
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No... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:09 PM Flag
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Were you at the wedding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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Yes. Maid of honor. So there for everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:27 PM Flag
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So why are you worked up over the pictures? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:32 PM Flag
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I love that wedding pictures have moved (mostly) from albums to websites. I can just lie and say I looked at them, and never have to sit through that boring chore again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:33 PM Flag
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This. OP: Just tell her you looked at them. She won't know the difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Jace 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:59 PM Flag
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Love. Will look great on his prison tat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:03 PM Flag
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hahahahahahaha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 12:01 AM Flag
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I never say this but (white trash)! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:05 PM Flag
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I know twins: Jace and Jax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:08 PM Flag
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I want to be supportive.... but maybe choose something more classic that you may not regret in a few years? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:21 PM Flag
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Just give the kid the real name Jason and call him Jace. He'll thank you someday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:51 PM Flag
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Good plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 12:01 AM Flag
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NYC transplant, Texas native. Only Jace I know has two "baby mamas" and a tribal tattoo... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 12:02 AM Flag
[ - ] Scene at the beach: SAHM to two toddlers spending 6 minutes fussing with the cooler to find a sandwich and a Diet Coke while her husband reads something on his Kindle and outright ignores the two kids trying to get his attention. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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And how do you know she is a SAHM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:57 PM Flag
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only a SAHM would fuss for 6 minutes in a cooler for a sandwich and a can of coke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:25 PM Flag
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Oh no - are you scene in the suburbs mom? Do you deliberately pick the most boring things to post or do you not realize how boring they are? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:58 PM Flag
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How do you know she's a SAHP? How do you know he's her husband? Why are you timing other people's cooler-fussing instead of having a life of your own? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:58 PM Flag
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assumptions are more fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:28 PM Flag
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Hey glad you got to the beach today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:59 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Just found a dead bug in my fairway salad. Trying not to freak out. Or puke. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:55 PM Flag
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It happens. You'll probably live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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Bring what you have back and get a new salad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:58 PM Flag
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Snowflake, relax. You will be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:59 PM Flag
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NP: obnoxious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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Just found a bug in a potato salad I put out on the deck in the country. Picked it out and continued with my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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Bugs seems more tolerable in the country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:29 PM Flag
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True. We were out in the Hamptons and there were ants everywhere in the kitchen. Grossed me out, but DH insisted this was part of living in the country. So what's the difference if it's at Fairway.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:38 PM Flag
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Only gross if it is a cockroach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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DC found a cockroach crawling up our shower curtain today. I thought we were free of them, since we hadn't seen them for many months now in the apartment. I hate this part of NYC living! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:09 PM Flag
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Cockroaches are part of life. You should see the size of them in Australia! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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Fairway is disgusting. I am not remotely surprised. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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Sorry, I love Fairway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:12 PM Flag
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Enjoy your cockroaches! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:43 PM Flag
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I read something somewhere that said any foods made in factories have dead bug bits in them. It's so unavoidable to the point where they have "acceptable" amounts of bug fragments that are deemed safe to eat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok, someone please help me out here, b/c i don't understand. The individual who used to be Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn Jenner. He is now a she. BUT "she" is still a "Dad" to a bunch of kids. But how can a female be a "Dad" to anyone? Wouldn't that female person now be a "mom" to offspring? And if that fact that a person "changed" their gender doesn't change the fact that this person is still a "Dad" to it's children, then doesn't that prove that you can't really change gender, that you are just playing dress up? This world liberals are creating doesn't make a damn bit of sense. We are all screwed. 60 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:54 PM Flag
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Semantics. Let it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:55 PM Flag
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No, not semantics! Is there not a difference b/t a man and a woman?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:58 PM Flag
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Well, not as big a difference as there used to be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:59 PM Flag
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Why? what changed? A woman has produce a baby, a man cannot. This position is logically indefensible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:00 PM Flag
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*can [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:00 PM Flag
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It's just that it doesn't matter. Your need to categorize isn't more important than their need to feel comfortable in their own skin or than our society's need to accept all sorts of people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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I'm fine with that. I am willing to accept BJ as CJ if that's what he wants. But he's just living as a woman. He's not a woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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Ok. But if she wants to be treated as one, who am I to deny her that? She's a she as far as I'm concerned. And however she wants to parent her kids is personal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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OP: ok, i agree with you. If I knew CJ I would be supportive and not bring this up. In the back of my mind I would be thinking this though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:11 PM Flag
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Then he should support women's rights. He needs to renounce the Republican Party. When he interviewed with Diane Sawyer he said he was a Republican. Republican's don't support gay marriage or transgender rights. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:21 PM Flag
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Of course he's not a woman. He has NEVER dealt with the hardaship of being a woman. He's an asshole and most celebs are jumping on the bandwagon and kissing his male white ass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:18 PM Flag
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It fucking does matter. 8 year old bio girls (real girls) are sold off to old BIO men in "marriage". But you know Bruce is important. Real women aren't. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:16 PM Flag
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Fake post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:14 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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Fake. Men control the world. Bio women care for the young. In fact WOHMs will not hire bio men to take care of children. Bio men across the world rape and kill women every year. So don't pretend that they are the same. Thsy are not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:13 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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Word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 01:00 AM Flag
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You know your lifestyle would be anathema to most past generations, right? Things change. Deal with it. Get busy living or get busy dying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:00 PM Flag
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I'm fine with people playing dress up. I can respect other people's decisions and lifestyles. I will shut up if someone out there can tell me how this logically makes sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:02 PM Flag
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No one owes you an explanation that fits within your rules of logic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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No one owes me anything, but I've yet to hear any kind of an explanation. It's like believing in the tooth fairy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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And you go around to all of your neighbors' kids demanding to understand why they believe in the tooth fairy? Not your circus; not your monkeys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:13 PM Flag
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OP: no, but this is an anonymous board so I can ask questions that i wouldn't IRL, know what I mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:14 PM Flag
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I was the poster from above. I think the way you worded your original question made it seem as if it wasn't a question at all. It was an opinion. And you included a lot of judgment. So we're reacting to that. If you have a genuine, open-minded question where you are seeking to understand rather than to judge, then try asking again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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Thanks for your reply. Not meaning to sound judgmental. I was stating my opinion, which I believe is backed up by facts. If you disagree that's fine. I just have a worldview that values truth facts and science. And discussion about issues. IRL, I am a very tolerant person. Dh and I live in a very diverse community - black, white, gay and straight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:27 PM Flag
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Thanks for responding. I challenge you to for a minute drop the factual way of looking at it. Try to open a bit. Imagine you are exactly you but in a man's body and everyone treats you as a man and how uncomfortable it must have been your whole life. Or some other parallel. I say this b/c I'm not dissimilar to you. I love facts and logic. But I'm beginning to realize that when it comes to people and how we relate to people, the 'facts' aren't sufficient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:32 PM Flag
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Again, thanks for your thoughts. I guess I am trying to process all of this change going on in society. I do believe very strongly is compassion and tolerance. Trying to square this with my logical hang ups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:35 PM Flag
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This is happening very very fast. The gay rights movement started in the 60s and they just achieved marriage equality. I feel like I first heard the word transgender not long ago and now it's everywhere. I'm trying to just go with acceptance for now. Total understanding may come later. I prefer this vs doing it in reverse order. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:43 PM Flag
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It makes no sense. The transgenderites--mostly men who become sexually aroused at the thought of wearing women's clothing and surgically making themselves look like women--have gaslighted an entire public into believing something that at its heart, is completely ridiculous and misogynistic and anti-feminist and anti-gay on top of that. No such thing as a "female" brain or feeling like you're trapped in the wrong body (which is a mental disorder). People are afraid to question for appearing to be un-PC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:10 PM Flag
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Women's rights matter to me. Women who have no access to healthcsre. Women who die in childbirth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:22 PM Flag
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It is a sign of limited intelligence to get caught up on the semantics of this issue. Caitlin can be dad to her children because that is what they've always known her as. It does not make her not a woman. You haven't found some "aha!" loophole that proves she is still a man, you're just stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:21 PM Flag
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Women have a xx chromosomes and men have xy. That's not semantics it is SCIENCE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:23 PM Flag
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You're confusing sex and gender. Gender is more of an identity thing, not based on the chromosome. So science isn't relevant in this as I understand it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:25 PM Flag
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OP: this makes some sense. So you are saying sex and gender can be different? That sex is immutable? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:29 PM Flag
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Right. I think that's what Bruce said in the Diane Sawyer interview. He always always always felt like a girl. He identifies that way. And he's stuck in this weird foreign male body. Sex male. Gender female. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:35 PM Flag
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That's a lie on his part--typical of autogynephiles. The truth is more like he started to get sexually aroused as an adolescent while secretly trying on his mother's/sister's clothing. He continued to violate women's boundaries when he was caught trying on his daughters' dresses (and probably masturbated while doing it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:16 PM Flag
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Disagree. He had all the advantages of being a man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:31 PM Flag
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I don't care. I carE about women's rights and women's health. A tranny doesn't bear chikdren and doesn't face the same dangers a bio woman does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:31 PM Flag
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I adopted, so I didn't bear children. Am I a woman? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 12:47 AM Flag
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Yes. You can be sure that bio women care about other women. Fake trannies don't care about women's rights. Bruce Jenner doesn't give a shit. Thank you for caring about children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:29 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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It's a sign of limited intelligence not to research the issue before speaking up. Transgenderism is a phenomenon made possible only by recent advancements in science. It is primarily motivated by the older, male, straight misogynists who get erections while dressing up by women and young, gay youth who are internally homophobic. Jenner is a man and will always be, no matter if he pumps himself with estrogen, gets feminizing facial surgery, voice lessons and a second cavity in his body that he calls a vagina (which is frequently made out of parts of a colon so is actually more of a second asshole). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:13 PM Flag
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Yes. And men who have sex with them are having sex with an inverntee penis and/or colon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:49 PM Flag
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She became a simple progenitor. No longer a Dad, because a dad requires male genitalia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:24 PM Flag
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Please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:31 PM Flag
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he is not a woman. read this FAQ, which will answer your questions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:07 PM Flag
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Using "it" is incredibly dehumanizing. I don't care if you think she's the worst person ever, you still shouldn't do that. And to answer your question, I would assume that using "Dad" makes sense for several reasons, not least being that it honors the relationship the kids have had with their dad since birth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:08 PM Flag
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He had the advantages of being a man. Now he wants the lame advantage that a bio woman has. He wants attention for being a hot 65 year old "woman" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:11 PM Flag
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You are right to be confused, because what the transgender movement is proposing actually makes no logical sense. You can't change gender just as you can't change races or who your parents are. Read this for more info: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:17 PM Flag
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He will always be dad to his children (i suppose even to those he abandoned). Many of these male-to-females transgenders go into a rage against their children when they don't call their dad by the "proper" pronoun, which is even more confusing to them. The transgenders are typically pretty narcissistic and can't acknowledge that their kids have lost a dad. And if they have daughters, they typically try to play dress-up games with them as part of their sexual fantasy. Google autogynephilia. This is what Jenner has. He is a heterosexual male who has made his own body the object of his narcissistic desire. This is why he continues to be attracted to women and act like a man. this makes the most sense. His being a "woman" is utter BS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:20 PM Flag
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Hi op. You have a psychotic fascination with the sexual interet of another person. Why do you care so much? Do you keep logs of what type of porn your neighbors watch too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:34 PM Flag
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She csre because her ex spent all their money and doesn't have a relationship with her or their children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 11:53 PM Flag
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CJ is sad, pathetic, and kind of gross. And I don't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 05:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Your thoughts - does the parent who does 10% of the parenting have the right to complain if the other parent disagrees with their discipline methods? 67 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:44 PM Flag
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As long as you are married, the parenting power is imputed at 50-50. Once divorced you can't say shit about what happens during the other parent's custody time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:46 PM Flag
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Slight exaggeration. If child is abused, etc, of course you should say something. If you disagree re less important things, you go back to court. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:47 PM Flag
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Short of complete abuse, I knew a middle school kid whose mom took away all his regular clothes when he misbehaved and made him wear a shirt and tie and khakis to school until she was satisfied he was behaving correctly. Dad could not do anything about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:53 PM Flag
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That's not abuse. She sounds like she was probably the most responsible parent to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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That is deliberate humiliation. Punishment should not be in front of kid's friends. If I were dad, I would drop off clothes for kid at the school, and tell him to pick them up from office and change in boys room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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Kids all grown now, but the young man now barely speaks to his mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:05 PM Flag
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Good for him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:06 PM Flag
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I think deliberate humiliation is too strong, but she also sounds like a control freak, and a lot of adults distance themselves from controlling parents because it's the only way to have a life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:56 PM Flag
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Dressing nicely is child abuse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 06:54 AM Flag
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Many divorce decrees say no corporal punishment. Even if parent did not use pre-divorce, it is a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:48 PM Flag
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So, how about this - 10% parent tells the kids "I am not going to even pay for us to belong to this club anymore since you dont appreciate it" after the kids say they want to go home after being there for three hours. 90% parent says - dont do that. Dont guilt them with something they never asked for. And 10% parent gets pissed and says "dont contradict me in front of the children." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:52 PM Flag
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He is crazy. 3 hours is a long time. My guess is he has no friends to golf or tennis with, or it wouldn't bother him if you took the kids home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:55 PM Flag
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Well, it's true that you shouldn't contradict him in front of the kids. You should speak to him privately if you have an issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:57 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:25 PM Flag
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He sounds pretty reasonable. Putting the kids on notice that he's not going to pay for luxuries they don't want. Win-win, if you ask me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:26 PM Flag
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+1 He should just stop paying for the family membership. He can go in his free time and take OP as a guest when she wants to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:35 PM Flag
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He obviously wants them there, or would suggest DW takes kids home. Like my dad, he wants kids there for public appearances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:56 PM Flag
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They (and you) likely realize this is an empty threat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:33 PM Flag
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How is this about discipline? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:34 PM Flag
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My take on that is that 10% sounds like a giant PITA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:57 PM Flag
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I wouldn't have married someone who didn't have the same parenting styles/philosophies that I have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:48 PM Flag
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You discussed parenting philosophies before you were married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:49 PM Flag
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Of course. You didn't? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:51 PM Flag
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Np What exactly did you discuss? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:52 PM Flag
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Whether we wanted children, how many, whether we wanted to go through pregnancies, adopt, or foster, how we felt about discipline, education, religion, disabilities, where we wanted to raise them, where we stood on contact sports, pets, sex, drugs, whether and how to save toward college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:57 PM Flag
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None of that is discipline philosophy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:57 PM Flag
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NP -- she said, how we feel about disclipline [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:58 PM Flag
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But how could you possibly get into the details that come up when actually parenting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:59 PM Flag
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Now you're just being deliberately obtuse. Obviously you can't predict every specific rule your hypothetical child is going to break, but you can certainly discuss positive and negative reinforcement in general, whether smacking or spanking is okay and in what circumstances, discipline v. redirection, how your own parents dealt with pre-teen and teen rebellion, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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But the op posted about a specific situation. And the OR implied that could be avoided by having married a more compatible partner. My point is isolated situations will arise regardless how much you planned ahead, so the OR is being silly with their comment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:12 PM Flag
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ITDA. They could have discussed this from the beginning. OP clearly feels that her opinion should carry more weight because she spends more time with the children. If they had discussed this at the beginning, she would know her husband thinks his opinion should matter just as much; the fact that he has to go to a job every day to pay the bills should not reduce his parental authority. How they resolve it is up to them - every couple has to work it out for themselves - but it's not an uncommon disagreement between a WOHP and a SAHP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:17 PM Flag
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Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:20 PM Flag
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Np You're being silly. The specific situation she posted about could happen to anyone. Have you really never had a parenting disagreement of any kind ever? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:21 PM Flag
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You're nuts if you think the specifics of this issue would obviously be discussed before marriage. Np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:23 PM Flag
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There are so many details that you have to decide as you go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:01 PM Flag
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And many that you can discuss before you marry and have children and find out your beliefs are fundamentally different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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I agree, but nothing here suggests that the OP didn't discuss before marriage. She posted about a specific incident. That can happen to anyone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:12 PM Flag
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there is no way to know in advance how you will feel about those things when push comes to shove. You might think you know, but variables come up that can't be anticipated. But always enjoyable to hear how some people have no parenting issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:06 PM Flag
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Yes. This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:13 PM Flag
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Really, before you were married you had a spontaneous conversation about where you stood on contact sports for your hypothetical dc's? Or you say him down with a checklist of items you had to go over and he "Sure, whatevered" you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:54 PM Flag
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Nnp We discussed some basics about having kids, but most of the details of discipline would not come up prior to having kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:55 PM Flag
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What if your husband turned out to prefer corporal punishment and outward bound programs? Wouldn't you want to know that *before* you committed to 20 years of co-parenting with him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:01 PM Flag
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Yes, but there are many other details that would not come up in discussion prior to actually parenting. You'll notice that the OPs issue was nothing this broad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:03 PM Flag
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OP's issue is exactly this broad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:18 PM Flag
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The OP is, but not the actual situation thar occurred between her and her DH. And even the op... how exactly does one define having 10 percent say in the matter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:22 PM Flag
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We discussed corporal punishment. We did not discuss how we would respond if our kid wanted to leave a club after three hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:05 PM Flag
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This. I had the good fortune of learning from my oldest brother's marriage. He thought they wanted 3-4 kids, but she thought they wanted 1. He assumed they would raise them Catholic, but she only got married in the church to keep the peace in her family and didn't want to raise the kids that way. He was all about public school and summer jobs, and she wanted private schools and camps. They divorced two years after they got married, thankfully before they had a child. I made sure DH and I were on the same page before we announced our engagement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:12 PM Flag
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None of this applies to the OP though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:16 PM Flag
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Sure it does. She thinks the SAHP should run the show and the WOHP should defer. It's something they should have talked about before they got married and then again when she started SAH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:31 PM Flag
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Where does anyone say anything about that? Did you read her explanation of their disagreement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:45 PM Flag
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Op WOH, though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:46 PM Flag
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I dont SAH. One of us chooses to take on the parenting duties and the other chooses to pretend they dont see the kids spending all their time with the other parent while they go shopping or to the gym. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:47 PM Flag
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People with similar philosophies in theory can have very different approaches in practice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:55 PM Flag
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Not in my experience. Most people think that the way their parents did it was either correct or a total mess, and can identify easily the things they would emulate or change. It's easy to talk about those things and see where you agree and disagree with your partner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:03 PM Flag
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You can agree on things in general and still have conflict sometimes when it comes to specific situations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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In your experience? How many people have you Co parented with? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:08 PM Flag
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Again, deliberately obtuse. We have all observed and talked with other parents, from our own parents and grandparents and aunts & uncles, to our siblings and friends. (That said, to be fair, there does seem to be a large proportion of UB parents who would eat glass before they would be honest and authentic in their friendships and other relationships; many people here have posted that they only post/talk about the good parts of their lives, and take their problems to therapists and counselors. So I suppose it's possible you have never talked about parenting with anyone else.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:21 PM Flag
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Talking about these generalities will not prevent occasional disagreement. Especially since your philosophy evolves as you actually parent. I agree you should discuss parenting before you marry, but that does not mean you'll never disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:25 PM Flag
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You think people with similar parenting philosophy don't disagree? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:58 PM Flag
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Yes. You're both parents and should consider each other. That said, they should recognize that the primary parent probably has a clearer and more thorough picture of the discipline situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:50 PM Flag
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No, she who does the 90% makes the decisions. She does not work for he who does 10%. If he wants to step it up and do his 50%, then he gets an equal voice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:08 PM Flag
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Then she should step up and work a full time job and bring in half the income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:22 PM Flag
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Weird that you assume everyone working full time make the same amount of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:35 PM Flag
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Yes - I am the OP and I work full time in addition to doing 90% of the parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:39 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:41 PM Flag
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This. OP, if you are both working full time, why are you monopolizing the children? Why aren't you giving them a fair share of time with their father? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else think food inflation is on the rise? I've noticed less and less on sale at the grocery store recently. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:41 PM Flag
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El Nino is starting to affect corn, wheat, and soybeans, among other things, but prices just just started to go up in the commodity markets, like 1-2 wks ago- wouldnt think it hit the retail shelves yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:44 PM Flag
[ - ] So, I went for a bikini wax. They went a little crazy. I have a strip about an inch and a half wide that goes from 2 inches above my clit back to my butt. Here's my question: in a Brazilain, do they get every piece of hair off even inner lips and butt? Doesn't it kill? I was in pain. Red bumps everywhere. Can't imagine. Have never had this little hair before. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:24 PM Flag
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Mine gets every strand of hair. Redness gone after a few hours, no bumps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:28 PM Flag
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It hurts a little when it happens, but no red bumps, and the pain is only for a second. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:29 PM Flag
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Try tea tree oil for the irritation/bumps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:29 PM Flag
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take some advil before brazilian to help with inflammation/pain. use something like tend skin afterwards to help with the red bumps and discourage in grown hairs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:33 PM Flag
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OMG I can't believe this generation does that. It's self abuse for men. It's horrifically . . . I just don't have the words for it. I'm still sporting a 70s bush, and if he doesn't want to go south, not a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Orinda or Piedmont? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:23 PM Flag
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You had better be naming your horse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:33 PM Flag
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please please tell me those aren't potential names for a child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:07 PM Flag
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East Bay towns [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 01:31 AM Flag
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Piedmont. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:30 PM Flag
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Piedmont [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.15, 01:31 AM Flag
[ - ] illegal immigrant who killed innocent women in SF had been deported "FIVE" times. wow, did not know it was this easy to just get back in. http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Pier-shooting-suspect-had-been-released-from-S-F-6365228.php 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:17 PM Flag
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Wish we could deport him to Mars and not waste everyone's time and money on a trial. Idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:19 PM Flag
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Hi OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:32 PM Flag
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NP: of course, she's the only one who feels that criminal illegal immigrants who shoot people shouldn't just effortlessly reenter the country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:55 PM Flag
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I think we all know our borders are not secure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:21 PM Flag
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He should be gang-raped by the other inmates then burned alive. Any other penalty would be far too soft. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:25 PM Flag
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Hi OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:32 PM Flag
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nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:35 PM Flag
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+1, and not OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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Hopefully her death will not be in vane, and people will demand immigration laws be enforced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:26 PM Flag
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Hi OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:32 PM Flag
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Not OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:35 PM Flag
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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:33 PM Flag
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Yes, so boring. Much better to talk about real housewives, or your handbag, than about these real issues affecting our country or about a real actual person's lost life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:57 PM Flag
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Trump was right... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:34 PM Flag
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Men get over and women are the victims. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Rain tomorrow night! :-( 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:02 PM Flag
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Where? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:04 PM Flag
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I thought entire NYC area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:14 PM Flag
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as of right now, according to weather.com no rain after 6pm tomorrow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:17 PM Flag
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This is heartbreaking! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:46 PM Flag
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this happens every single year! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Take it from someone who grew up in Serbia and watched her nation collapse in a civil war - America really is a "land of opportunity." Not the only one, but a very large one. If you cannot "succeed" economically in the US, with all the many available routes toward success, you probably have some kind of mental/moral/depressive deficiency. The country makes it possible for you to become very prosperous, if you apply yourself. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 08:59 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:00 PM Flag
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The only people who don't believe this are Americans, who are not born into the same work and educational ethic that comes from being raised in a country without as many opportunities. Americans don't want to work hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:02 PM Flag
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*Some Americans [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:03 PM Flag
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OK that's true - but man, so many of them, all think they should get things so easily [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:08 PM Flag
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Most of them are on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:11 PM Flag
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This is the immigrant work ethic that has built this country. I'm glad you appreciate the opportunities and hope you find much success! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:20 PM Flag
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I agree, legal immigrants have this ethic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:35 PM Flag
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and illegals dont [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:00 PM Flag
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A white woman's perspective. Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:21 PM Flag
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Because organizations aren't aching for diversity today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:29 PM Flag
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she may be muslim though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:00 PM Flag
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If you were black do you think your opportunities for accomplishment would be greater in the U.S. or in a country like Nigeria or South Africa? Or how about France? You do not have to close your eyes to wrongs in this country to see how wrong and counterproductive the Charles Blows and Al Sharptons of this country are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:03 PM Flag
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Slow down. I know what you're trying to say, but let's be honest. The Serbians and Albanians and other slavic people who came to the US tend to do well because they realize how easy it is to import their scams and rackets into a country that doesnt require bribes and protection schemes to get anything done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:48 PM Flag
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Well if we're REALLY being honest, Serbs at least tend to run big-time rackets and get into positions of power (Rob Blagojevich is one of ours...) while Albanians? Small-time street criminals at best. Even their "mafia" is a wannabe cadet-branch of the Russians. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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wow, just wow. I bet you've met every Albanian in the world [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:04 PM Flag
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Lol, look up Wikipedia's list of "notable Albanians." A good chunk of them are criminals or murderers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:06 PM Flag
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Have you met any? They are not a trustworthy people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.15, 10:40 PM Flag
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