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[ - ] 3yo and 1yo, HHI 300. Should we stay in the city and try for good publics or move to burbs? Genuinely conflicted. Can't afford private. I'm scared of the DOE and being a pawn in a larger political game. 44 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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yeah, because there's no politics in suburban school boards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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Do you WOH? Can you work any days from home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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I do WOH, but 9-5 at least. I have a nanny and my mom helps out a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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Is your mom in NYC? That's a reason to stay if she helps with childcare and gets quality time with her grandkids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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She is, but she might move with us- I would like to get a house with an in-law suite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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That works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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Go for it!!!. Talk to agent now, many homes in great burbs will have what can be an in-law suite, especially if you will take a split or ranch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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If you're conflicted, wait and see how things shake out in public for #1 and leave if you're not happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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This. Why would you leave now? You can always leave once you know what the ES situation is like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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np, I am sorry I didn't move when oldest was 3. Instead we put up with NYC BS for pre-school, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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pp - don't do that crazy stuff. There are PLENTY of normal preschools that don't put you through the wringer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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that's true, I just like to have plans so that stresses me out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:06 PM Flag
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I have 3 dcs with the same HHI and we are staying for now as I WOH and will hardly see them if my commute gets longer. Also, my younger 2 are 1 and 3 but my older one is in ES and good NYC public school is perfectly fine. Suburbs aren't going to run away from you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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I have two dcs, we both work, hhi is 150K--staying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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i'd do suburbs. nyc sucks anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:05 PM Flag
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+1000. Did you see the other thread yesterday about why suburban public schools are overall better than NYC publics? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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What is your zoned school? If you can get in a good public, it's worth not having any commute. More time with your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:06 PM Flag
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it sucks. School is my biggest priority. I know there are great options here for the lucky people, but the anxiety drives me up the wall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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So you have to move anyway, to a better zone before oldest starts K. It sounds like the suburbs are calling to you OP! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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If you feel conflicted, my advice is to move to burbs. From my experience only the parents who TRULY ADORE NYC end up happy being here with school-aged kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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yeah, my only concern is really the commute :/. I'm super busy with the kids + my job, so I don't get out as much as I should. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Would you be able to find a job in the suburbs if you moved? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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I would imagine that I would stay in my current job, though I am an MD so I suppose I could look for another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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If I were an MD I'd absolutely move to burbs and find a job in burbs. What kind of doctor are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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I am a pediatrician :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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OMG, move to the burbs and don't look back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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If you want the suburbs you can definitely make this work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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Are you in Manhattan? Brooklyn? How's your zoned school? You could try public school for Kindergarten with your oldest and see how it goes. I try to think in 5 year chunks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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Similar HHI and we stayed. Kids are 6yo, 2yo, and another on the way. If you are truly scared of the DOE, then I guess move. We weren't scared, and our oldest is in a district G&T. We are happy with the school (although clearly lots of things that are not great). Not sure we would have been happier in a suburban public either, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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Boys? Girls? Both? Just in my personal experience (and this is obviously a HUGE generalization) but I know WAY MORE families with boys who eventually fled the city than families with girls (sports, space, school issues are all easier in the burbs). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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I completely agree with this actually. Signed mom to boys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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I can see that. BUt my oldest boy is not sporty at all, not into superheros or ninjas, etc. He is more into science, etc. He is only 6yo, but I feel like he may not fit in in the burbs as well as he does in his class in NYC... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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Yes, obviously my statement is anecdotal and there are exceptions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Interesting. I have 3 boys, two of whom are typical sporty types and one of whom is more into art and drama/theater and I do worry that if we move he is going to be considered an oddball in a way that he wouldn't be here in the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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3yo is ds, 1yo is dd. Hm, that is food for thought. Thanks... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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If I had it to do over again, I wish I'd left the city when my kids were the ages of your kids. Truly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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Heres my take on this and I am not yet a parent. I grew up in NYC and did just fine going to a lowly ranked Queens public HS. My parents could not afford Long Island. I had to make do with the resources available at my school and I turned out just fine. The importance of education starts at home. It wasnt until I went away to college that I realized how CODDLED some of my Long Island college friends were. Sure, maybe they did take English Shakespeare level courses by 10th grade and had cool electives in their school like 'Sewing 101' or 'Learn to Bowl or play Lacrosse' or Model UN, Science Labs headed by actual Brookaven Lab teachers, etc but we all ended up at the same University in the same dorm. Many of them were prepared but they lacked motivation and drive, something I learned in heaps and droves from being around a diverse student body in my HS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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If you are excited by culture and diversity, stay in NYC. No way can you can the same spontaneity of it in the burbs. If you are excited by mowing your lawn, chauffeuring, maintaining and repairing a house, go suburban. Signed mom who spent quality time in Westport, loved it on the weekends, but ultimately decided to stay in NYC with smallish apt because I couldn't deal with getting a live-in nanny and commuting by train. happy I did, because if you work, the best way to stay sane is too have your home, kids school, and work as close together as possible. signed mom with 2 kids in their 20s now. (did the priv sch thing, but would go public if i had to do it over). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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Why would you go public if you had to do it over? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. tuition started off pretty reasonable in the mid- 1990s, but increased 5-6% a year for 15 years in a row. In a 2 -career household, where both experienced setbacks, no way did our income keep up with the tuition increases. I would start public, then go private or spec hs if I had to do it over. We spent about 1/4 million per kid, then there was college. Now it's close to 1/2 million per kid. This assumes I lived in a good sch district or could get my kid into a g&t program. My kids were bright, but didn't make cutoffs for Anderson, Hunter, etc. if you are super wealthy, no prob. Priv sch > pub sch mostly. If you are middle-upper middle class, tuition is the beginning, then there's after school, camp, birthdays, etc. Add abt $10,000-$20,000 to keep up w the Joneses at priv sch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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+1. I had to help mom cook instead of taking cooking classes and I had to sew my own buttons back on instead of taking a sewing class. I would have liked to have gotten better education but I don't think suburban public schools is where its at. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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My parents moved to the burbs with 3DCS when we were 1,3 & 5 - chose one known for its good schools. Schools were a joke - easy and I was bored to tears, despite being in the 'Gifted' track. Very little tolerance of differences, quirks, big personalities, or creative innovation. Kids who excelled socially seemed to be the ones who most resembled everyone else. I picked up on it and played along in order to make friends, but at a personal cost. Went to Ivy and was astounded to meet NYC kids who were celebrated for being unique, artsy, etc. Also found them to be leagues ahead of me academically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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Good grief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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I had this exact experience 25 years ago. I wonder if things have changed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Gross question, but any tricks for getting blood stains out of clothes? I toss a couple pairs of underwear a month because of random period related mishaps. Would love to know if there is an easy way to clean this. 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:45 PM Flag
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how do women get past the age of 20 without knowing this? oxy clean or dish detergent. soak overnight for best results. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:46 PM Flag
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Np.cold water [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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for dish detergent, yes. for oxy cleaner, hot is fine and need it to dissolve the crystals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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How did you get this old without knowing your method is not even close to the easiest way to handle this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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yeah, ok, fucktard, it's much better to keep hydrogen peroxide around. why would i do that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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Oh, I see. You're a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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This is a joke, right? There are MANY uses for HP...it's a staple in most first aid kits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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Buy black underwear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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OP: When on my period I generally wear dark underwear, but the first day of my period always seems to be a surprise that ruins my underwear for the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Period tracker app [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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OP: Mine is pretty irregular. Hence the surprise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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You need to be better in tune with your body. Periods just don't spontaneously happen unless you have a serious medical issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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wait until you are periomenopausal - i kid you not, i have no warning anymore - i feel like I am 15 again getting surprised [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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OP: I do have some pretty serious medical issues... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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Not everyone's body works the same, genius. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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No, you're the genius obviously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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Hydrogen peroxide. I just drop them in a small cup full of HP, let them sit a minute, then toss them in with the regular laundry. No need to scrub or anything, and it works perfectly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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+1 i posted the same below. I've been doing this since middle school and it works! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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This! It works well and you often don't even need to scrub. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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+4 This will work completely with almost no effort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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+5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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np: It doesn't bleach the clothes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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No not at all. Not if you're using the OTC type. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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Rinse in cold water it detergent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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I like to spray the fresh stain w/shout then wash in cold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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This time of the month is such a bummer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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pour peroxide on the spot and scrub underwear, let sit, and wash in cold water [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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Zout. That shit is a miracle worker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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cold water, dish soap, and bleach in the sink. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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WISK works really well on blood stains. No special soaking or scrubbing. Just pour Wisk on the stain! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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peroxide, for sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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you toss them just because they are stained? I just keep and reuse every month - they are clean if you wash them, just a little stained - [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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I keep a bottle of spray and wash in my bathroom for just this. And don't toss the ones that end up stained...use them NEXT month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:03 PM Flag
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This is prob not what you want to hear but when I get a really bad stain and it doesnt come out in the first wash of laundry, I just chuck it. Underwear is pretty cheap, I can get a 6 pack at Target for $8.99. I use those for my period, and save the nice 'lingerie' type panties for when I know I wont get my period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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treat the stain itself w detergent and clorox 2/oxyclean and then leave it soaking for at least a day until you launder it. cold water. before you launder if stain is still there, use hydrogen peroxide. worst thing you can do for blood is let it dry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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SO EASY: bucket, cold water, Wisk, soak overnight, in the morning, blood gone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't like to work hard. Anything that requires too much effort i either quit or avoid. I could easily say that I am lazy but I don't think its that. Should I go see a dr. about this? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:41 PM Flag
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troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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Nah, why bother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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Depression [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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op- maybe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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you're soft-willed. You will die quickly if there are hard times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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op- I don't agree with that so much. i can do physical hard labor well. I can challenge myself athletically and push myself. I did not grow up well off so i know about hard times.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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do you see any contradiction between the two descriptions of yourself you have posted on this thread? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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yes. the hard work pertains to mostly academic, career and social activities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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Luckily you won't have to do anything when you're dead, so there's that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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You're me. Try to make yourself work hard in small increments. My theory is that it's fear of failure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:01 PM Flag
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op - i totally have fear of failure and i am afraid to compete. people probably think i am lazy but i just don't feel comfortable or smart enough.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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yep! exactly! i bet you were always good at school, right? Great schools, top grades? Maybe even very stellar first job out of school? it helps me to tell myself that I will work hard for just a little bit and therefore if it doesn't work out, it's ok, not my fault. And then I slowly increase the "little bit" and it works for a while. Then after a while it stops working and I have to make myself start over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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You are also me except I am an attorney working in a job that I am extremely overqualified for (ie many of the attorneys in my firm have foreign LLMs from 3rd world countries or failed the bar exam multiple times, or went to awful law schools). I make ok money but I have no interest in pushing my career into more challenging role, or to make more money. It is because I am lazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] are there any good publics (ps6) equivalents on UWS? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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zoned, I mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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452 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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+1 hidden gem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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Some would say 199, but it's really not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:38 PM Flag
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Why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:05 PM Flag
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PS9 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know if those of us, who will definitely get G&T placement for our younger dc (b/c dc scored high enough to be placed in older dc's school), still need to pre-register at GenEd offered school? Ty! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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you should anyway until you actually get the formal offer at g&t just because you never know.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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ITA - they could decide to eliminate the G&T altogether at the last minute which they have done before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:46 PM Flag
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yes. any problem could happen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:52 PM Flag
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Thank you, all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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You may want to re-word that - no guarantees for G&T [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Does Suri Cruise dress too old for her age (past and present)? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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You seem to think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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duh who else? or if no then say you think she dresses appropriately for her age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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Como se wha??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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she's very cute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:46 PM Flag
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Am I a grown woman who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Who are you asking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Where do you put your husband stinky gym clothes before wash day? The hamper doesn't seem to cut it. 54 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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Wash day? Everyday is wash day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:29 PM Flag
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You wash clothes everyday? What are you washing everyday?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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Not if you don't have a w/d. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:17 PM Flag
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not for most new Yorkers who don't have washers in their apts... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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np One reason I'd never be without a w/d in my apt. I do a load of dark and a load of light most days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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This. I do a load or two everyday. If not, I'm doing five the next day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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Sheet day involves five loads, but other than that, it's a load or two per day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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I put mine and DH's in a little mix of vinegar and water, ring them out, let them hang on a drying rack, then toss them in with everything else once they are dry. The vinegar gets rid of the gross smell completely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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nice. :) sounds like something my grandmother would do. Vinegar is great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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I put vinegar in my dishwasher and my mop water. I love vinegar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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OR: Same here. Vinegar is AWESOME! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:24 PM Flag
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np combination of vinegar/water/dishwashing liquid will also clean your wedding ring like nothing else... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:43 PM Flag
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OR: Interesting! I was taught to use warm water mixed with Windex for jewelry. It works well...but the vinegar thing sounds like a better idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:29 PM Flag
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PP: sometimes i brush with toothpaste and an old toothbrush first and then let it sit the the solution.. My ring always looks like new! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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OR: Yes it is! Vinegar, lemon juice and hydrogen peroxide are all great "old school" remedies that actually work for a great many things. I'm a fan of all three, despite being otherwise pretty clueless about cleaning tips and tricks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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NP: yes. I also use old lemons to wipe countertops etc. before i toss them in the trash [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:26 PM Flag
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...I'm sure you can find links to the exact ratio of water to vinegar...but at this point I just fill a bucket about half way with water, dump in some vinegar (1/2 cup - 1 cup probably, but I don't measure), let them sit for a few minutes (you could also leave them sitting for awhile and they'd be fine), then ring them out and let them dry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:17 PM Flag
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Wring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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that sounds like so much work! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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OR: It's not really much work. You don't have to scrub them as if you're hand washing laundry. just let them sit for a minute, quickly wring them out, then hang over the bar in your shower, towel rack, the back of chair, whatever. It takes a couple minutes total, and is a lot better than having gross smelling laundry. OP could also just let them hang dry (skip the vinegar soak) if she is going to wash them within a day or two. The main thing is to NOT wad them up and stick them in with everything else while wet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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It's not a lot of work when you're talking about a few items a week. It's not like she's doing ALL the laundry this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:38 PM Flag
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I do this too and don't find it to be much work. It's only for our gym clothes and only takes a minute or two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:41 PM Flag
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Wring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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OR: I know. Caught that error too late. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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In the washing machine and run it that day with whatever other gross things he or the dcs come up with that I deem too gross for the hamper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:16 PM Flag
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guess you are not in nyc, or are in the minority of new Yorkers who actually have washers in your apartment... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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The majority in NYC don't have washer in apt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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Obviously if she had a w/d this wouldn't be a question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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Special gym clothes only laundry bag with an odor resistant lining. You can also throw a few dryer sheets in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:16 PM Flag
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I wouldn't put wet sweaty clothes in there. You should at least let them dry first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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It's lined with a special coating. There's no problem putting damp clothes in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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The clothes will still get really rancid though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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No, they won't. You're very strange. Apparently you've never heard of an odor-resistant laundry bag with a lining. But wash away and vinegar away if you must. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:40 PM Flag
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How would an oder resistant bag effect the clothing inside of the bag? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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We hang to dry in the bathtub and then place in the hamper Once dry. We do laundry once a week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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He hangs them over the side of the hamper to dry, then they wait for the rest of the wash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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Most Equinox locations have laundry service, we just do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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Ugh. Equinox. How common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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Common? Equinox is $$$ lady. I wish I could afford their monthly fee!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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I just hang his clothes over our shower curtain rod to dry, then in the morning toss them in with the rest of the laundry after they're dry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:38 PM Flag
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I worked for people who left their workout clothes with sweat stains, snails trails and skid marks in the living areas. F***ing gross!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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Letting them mold in the hamper is much grosser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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I don't think that's gross unless they left them out when company was over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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Wow really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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Why would it be? What's the big deal about hanging a sweaty shirt on a chair to dry? I wouldn't leave them sitting there all week, but hardly think it's gross to do this in your own home when you are not entertaining. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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She also said snails trails and skid marks - that's just disgusting. A sweaty shirt gets a pass but I definitely wouldn't leave it out for long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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But again, if they only have this out when no company is around I fail to see how it's gross. Unless it's piling up for days and days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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Or: I'd come in on Mondays and there'd be crumpled clothing tucked into the corners of the couch. It wasn't hanging on chairs to air, just left where they took it off. Again, f***ing gross!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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I put them in the washer with the lid closed. When it builds I start it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:45 PM Flag
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Keep them bagged in the car trunk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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lol damn you don't even bring them in the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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DH's gym clothes aren't that gross, but on occasion I will put in a plastic bag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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+1 sneakers too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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You DH works out? How'd you get him to do it? Mine sits on the couch all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] does this look underpriced to you? what's the catch? http://www.trulia.com/property/3151924330-55-E-End-Ave-8D-New-York-NY-10028#photo-1 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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East End is very, very far from everything. I live on 1st and it's a PITA to get to the subway. That being said, it looks nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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Also looks really small. I think they used a fisheye lens. Don't tell you how many sq FT. East end is really quiet and lovely if you don't mind the hike to the subway. Good buses around there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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it's across the street from the new garbage transfer station [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:46 PM Flag
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I don't think this is underpriced at all- call it 1100 s.f. generously, price per s.f. 1100 for East End Ave for 2.7x multiple on maint/sf is not cheap at all. People value the outdoor space variously. The real killer is the maintenance to me, not to mention the garbage dump traffic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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Suspicious there is not pic of the kitchen, and agree they used a fisheye lense...the tale that seats 6 looks square. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:29 PM Flag
[ - ] I used to be skinny. Now I'm fat. Any questions? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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how and when did that happen? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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Always fluctuated a bit, then skinny for many years, then had a difficult pregnancy and gained a lot. 4 years later and I'm still hungry all the time and haven't lost the pregnancy weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:31 PM Flag
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You need to re-train/shrink your stomach. Start by eating 6 small meals throughout the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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does this work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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this has been shown to not be healthy . np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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why is it not healthy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:35 PM Flag
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Exactly, I want to know this as well... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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OP: I agree about re-training. When I was skinny, I was never hungry. Now I'm fat and don't need the food but feel famished all the time. I think this is a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:35 PM Flag
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When you are eating all the time what do you eat? I have the same problem, although im not fat. I am constantly hungry. Instead of reaching for garbage I have an apple, baby carrots, jicama, snap peas. I allow myself to eat as much healthy fruits and veg as I want and after a few mins the hunger is gone.. and I didn't blow my caloric intake for the day. This + some kind of workout schedule usually helps shift lbs pretty quickly for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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No she just ends to be hungry for 3-5 days and eat normal meals. Stomach will shrink [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:35 PM Flag
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I have been eating 1200 calories for 4 days straight and I am still as hungry as i was last week! When does this start to work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:38 PM Flag
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Really soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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i hope so or otherwise I'm going to have thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night for fun.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:06 PM Flag
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haha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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It doesn't get any better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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Do you exercise? This happened to me, two pregnancies, sedentary job, no exercise [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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Definitely not enough. I need to prioritize exercise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:35 PM Flag
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happened to me in college when i was prescribed certain medication. after experiencing my body blow up without any regard to what i was doing (eating, lifestyle, etc all remained the same from when i was a size 0) i stopped judging ppl's weight forever. i am only 5'2 and was 100 pounds, i went up to 145 in the span of 3 weeks. i went back to normal weight within 3 weeks after resolving health issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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Wow that is dramatic. Good for you in not judging others. It's a valuable lesson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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Are you happy and generally healthy? If so, good for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Yes. I'm actually ok with my body too, weirdly enough. Except for summer b/c I don't like to wear shorts. TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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People assume you can't be happy or healthy if you're not thin, and I think that's total bs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:43 PM Flag
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Same here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Ridiculous situation but I need some input: we have sold some of DC’s clothes through a consignment store and are owed just short of $20. The store owner is one of those hipsters middle-aged ladies that thinks she is all that and a bag of chips and can be slightly over the top; almost 3 months ago I called to get this last check mailed and have since called another 3 times but still haven’t received anything. Today I had my DH call and the woman went on a tirade about how she has to do it, doesn’t have any time and it’s such a small amount that we are at the bottom of her to-do list, all the while acknowledging that she owes the money and that we first talked a long time ago, she then hung up the phone on my DH. What should I do? I should add that we moved so going there it’s an inconvenience, at the same time I am furious. Can I report her? To whom? Any other ideas? TIA 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:24 PM Flag
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Report her for sure! What store?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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in bk [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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Put on Yelp, report to Better Business Bureau and local parenting groups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:26 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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Agree with yelp, BBB, etc. Also show up in person at the store and wait while she writes the check. Her busy schedule is not your problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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Do you have any friends that live near the store? Can you ask one to stop by? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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Threaten to take her to small claims court. Or better yet, The People's Court on tv. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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op here: thank you. I am hesitating about showing up because it's completely out of the way for us, but am also toying with the idea of not only showing up but "loudly" requesting records of all transactions on our account. Not sure she will make a scene in her own store. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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too much downside for $20- just yelp and angieslist her reputation to death [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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also complain to her local chamber of commerce [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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call back and tell her if you don't have the check by Monday -- you will be finally getting around to reviewing the store …it has been on the bottom of your to-do list but you are going to make it a priority! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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op here: can that consider intimidation or something? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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np You're not threatening to break her legs, for pete's sake! It's legal to honestly report what she's done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:35 PM Flag
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careful: easy to cross the line into slander - make sure you are VERY factual online and never say some 'is' something... like 'she is a crook' 'she is dishonest', etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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ok thank you. can I say she is unprofessional and rude? also I am crafting an email to her store in which I request that we receive the check by next week or I will report her to the appropriate city agency. good?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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it's $20. is it really worth this much angst? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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op" no $20 is not worth any anger, but her ways, and her offensiveness and her tone are. aside, $20 are not gonna change my life but no reason to let her bully me into keeping the money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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this - i would review on yelp, etc. and would continue to follow up with her weekly just to annoy the crap out of her until a check was received [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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Aging hipsters are the worst. Entitled and dismissive and yet still dumb as all fuck, hence the shitty attitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:03 PM Flag
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Small Claims Court [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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I don't get what the bag of chips has to do with this story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:02 PM Flag
[ - ] I always wondered how kids in my son's elementary and middle school classes could be so young and be so nasty and mean. Then I realized that their parents are also nasty and mean. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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omg. i hate people but this post is dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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And many of them seem to hang out here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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Um, yes. Where do you think they get it from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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I've found really nice kids in our school and reasonably nice parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] I live in a town in which probably 65% of the families fit the UB profile: husband in finance or owns his own professional services company of some kind, and SAHM wife is skinny and blonde. It's been a learning process for me, since I grew up in very different surroundings. And now that I've lived in this town for a few years I'm starting to think that the attention that these women pay to be being blonde and skinny has a lot to do with how little they trust their husbands. The more I see these families, and how they interact, the more I think that the women are all terrified that if they're NOT blonde and skinny their husbands will be out the door, so they're obsessed with staying that way. Thoughts? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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Duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:38 PM Flag
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Well it's not something I ever realized until I got to know these folks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:25 PM Flag
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Um, hello! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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What town? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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no, i'm not blonde and i think it's just the way the women perceive themselves. they think themselves as thin blondes and want to look the part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Isn't that the wive's job description? To be the Real Housewives of their li'l town! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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The wives are right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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If this is true for you, that sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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Why else would they work out so much at soul cycle and eat so little everyday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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This is more to impress each other than their dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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To what end? What is the benefit of impressing other women? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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social hierarchy, same as hs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:06 PM Flag
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Why not? Everyday someone on UB says how much they hate fat people. No one want to be fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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There's a middle ground between skinny and fat. You can be non-fat without making the pursuit of skinniness a major part of your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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it is just how they perceive themselves. and we all feel good when we look our (perceived) best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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Um SoulCycle is fun? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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Greenwich? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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Sounds like a really depressing and pointless way to live. If you can't trust your dh or even act and look like yourself what kind of marriage is that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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These women are all 5 lbs away from being ditched. The insecurity screams in their posts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:05 PM Flag
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I don't think it's actually true. I think there are some paranoid women out there that may feel that way and i think there are some jealous women who like to spread that kind of paranoia but I don't see this dynamic in the marriages in my town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] At what age are you planning to/did you talk to your children about danger, esp. other people - pedophiles, nut jobs with guns, all the scary shit that seems to have increased in alarming frequency in the last 20 years? DC is 4, don't want to scare her but I know she needs to be aware. We are in NYC metro suburbs, fwiw. Thanks. Oh, and if your'e that poster that recommends that really scary book about how to protect your family... please don't bother, seen the input and don't feel comfortable with that level of caution. Would love to hear from other parents who've crossed this milestone or have plan in place. Thanks. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:20 PM Flag
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Just tell her to stay away from men. Tell her she'll understand when she's older. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:25 PM Flag
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None of that stuff has actually increased in frequency. Our perception of danger has changed but our kids are no more likely to be kidnapped by strangers, molested etc than in years past.I don't think it's one discrete conversation, I think there's an ongoing lesson that certain parts of your body are private, that no one touches those parts except for cleaning/medical exam, that adults don't ask kids to keep secrets from their parents, that you never never never touch a gun and you leave the room and tell a grownup if another kid takes one out, etc. Schools run lockdown drills these days, in that case the teachers will tell dc what to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:29 PM Flag
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OP: How can you possibly say there's been no increase in frequency with school shootings/violence (on a mass scale) on an almost monthly basis at this point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:16 PM Flag
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Go read the stats. There probably has been an increase in Columbine-type mass murders, but statistically they are a blip on the radar (a horrible blip, but still as unlikely as getting hit by lightning. The school will handle those drills and that security anyway, it is out of your hands. There has been no increase in kidnappings, EXCEPT that the greater number of divorces and custody battles has led to more parent kidnappings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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BS. School violence def increasing. 8 instances in Jan 2013 alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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As I said above, that's probably true, but in terms of overall numbers, it's vastly unlikely to happen, and totally out of parents' hands anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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Keep telling yourself that... schools are no longer safe, unfortunately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:29 PM Flag
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Don't bother trying to educate our low iq members. You cannot fix them. Save your breath OR. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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Your 'data' makes no sense - because more children are being killed. The mass shootings may be happening less often than individual attacks, but more children and adults are being killed with each one. You need to look at total number of people being killed. And that is def going up as far as school violence is concerned. Also, the school violence is continuing to increase. So in a few years, the numbers will be more accurate as far as how many are actually being killed. You aren't looking at the right data - makes all the difference in stats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:26 PM Flag
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Fine lady, but pedophilia, incest, etc. aren't going away because you tell UB moms that they are hysterical. This shit happens all the time. And it's most likely some MALE relative, or MALE relative of one of dc's friends. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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I read my 4 year old DD that Berenstein Bears book about strangers. She no longer says hi to strangers on the street and is a lot more cautious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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NP. FWIW, current thinking on "stranger danger" is that it's actually a mistake to teach kids not to talk to strangers, because if they ever get lost or there's a fire you want them to feel safe asking an adult for help. (Many times kids hide from firefighters during house fires.) It's now recommended that you tell them most people are nice, and if they need help they should first look for a mom with children, then any adult in uniform, then a dad with kids, but NOT to trust adults who approach them or ask for help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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^Apparently the common ploy is to ask kids to help find a lost pet or to say, "your mom asked me to pick you up, I'll take you to her." So the key is to seek out a trustworthy adult and to know that normal adults don't ask kids for help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:41 PM Flag
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I do it casually over the course of their being small starting at where you are now. I taught them their tel and home address. I talked to them about what to do if they get lost. I talked about 911. I say it occasionally when we are driving to see if they remember. My voice is neutral so I'm not imparting my own fears into the conversation. I also introduced in the bath that the only people allowed to touch them are mommy and daddy and the pediatrician when we are there. That they are in charge of their own bodies. Then before they start camp I talk to them about it again. We occasionally have conversations about the differences between secrets and surprises. That no adult can tell them to keep a secret from mom/dad and that if they do even if they feel scared they should tell us right away. And that that is the signal to tell us. We talk about that they will never get picked up by anyone whom they don't know beforehand is getting them even if they say they spoke to us on the phone. They can always ask the person to call us, so we can tell them directly. All is said casually and repeated across many conversations but not overkill. Hope this helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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OP: Pretty good. Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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This is a good list. For kids who are a little older, you can talk about how no adult should ever ask a child who is a alone for "help" with anything. Emphasize that "strangers" are not the problem because "strangers" are everywhere, and sometimes the best thing your child can do in a tough spot is to ask a "stranger" for help. You talk instead about how to be on the look out for "strange" behavior, behavior that doesn't make sense, that makes them uncomfortable, suspicious, wary. Teach them to trust their instincts. That includes "strange behavior" from people they may know well (teachers, camp counselors, parents of friends). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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I think young girls need to be warned about men. That's a no brainer. BUT, they also need to be warned about boys. Particularly older brothers of their friends. UB moms of boys will get their panties in a twist, but that is the REAL danger. Not MEAN GIRLS at school which UB moms LOBE to go on and on about. It's BOYs. Sorry if that pisses people off! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O Career SAHMs: I know this an unpopular opinion but I don't think it makes sense to prepare for a career you're just going to quit. I think if you want to be a SAHM, major in psychology or education (or anything else you enjoy studying) and focus a large part of your time on finding high quality husband material. You can always go back to grad school if you wet get divorced. Susan Patton has it right. Not sure why some media outlets demonize her so much. 56 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:20 PM Flag
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Among other obvious issues, what if you never find a suitable guy? Then you are stuck with no means of supporting yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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really cannot imagine planning to be a SAHM at age 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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I did. I always planned to SAHM. However, I finished my education (including grad school) first. I grew up in a single parent household and got totally robbed in terms of my childhood (including having to work myself starting as soon as I could get a permit). I did not want the same for my own kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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you get a permit at 15, that's not a robbed childhood. and quite frankly, i think having to help out at home and work to help your household is a positive thing. to many kids aren't learning that responsibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:43 PM Flag
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+1. I grew up in a dual-income family and I literally could not wait until I was old enough to work so that I could buy things for myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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No offense but I think you are presuming a lot from the limited information I gave you. My mom worked but started drinking the moment she came home. I couldn't participate in any sports, drama, play dates (unless I had rides to and from) or any kind of activities. My mom didn't go to parent teacher night nor did she want to know any of my friends' parents. My friends were not allowed over at my house (yes we lived in a house but it was a small one and not in a great neighborhood). My greatest memories were the times I spent in other people's houses - the moms who stayed home and sewed clothes or maybe they had a piano. Their moms waited for them to put them on the bus in the morning and picked them up. These were all things I did without. As for the work, I had to work if I wanted any spending money for anything at all, including clothes or haircuts. I wasn't Oliver Twist but if you think this was a happy childhood with simply a "good work ethic" being handed down to me I apologize for not having adequately conveyed that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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Not to belabor the point, but I don't ever even remember having a birthday party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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I always planned on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:29 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:24 PM Flag
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I'm really glad it worked out for you both, but I can't imagine encouraging my daughter to plan on SAH, if only because I really fear for the economic/social climate of the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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I think that many SAHMS don't realize they want to SAHM until they work for a while. They have every intention of working, but after a few years they realize that working sucks and when the baby comes along they have an easy excuse to stop. I can't imagine there are very many women who know for a fact they're going to not have a career when they're 20. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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+1 Life has many twists and turns. I have friends who planned to SAHM but couldn't stand it, and friends who were 100% sure they were going back to work and couldn't stand that. We all know people who'd love to SAHM but can't afford to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:31 PM Flag
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++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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Some women are capable I thinking ahead. And reading the internet. It's no secret that working sucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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Boy, did I know a lot of art history and french lit girls who ended up at the wrong track with no good horses to bet on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:25 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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I think most woman who plan like this do not have an easy time finding the type of dh who will give them the level of life they expect to have [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:25 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:26 PM Flag
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Why? I think like this and have plenty of suitors because I'm hot, smart, and interesting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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do you come from wealthy family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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op: yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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there you go. its a fine approach if you are wealthy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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What? And what do you do before marrying and having kids? What about when they leave? what if your husband divorces you with 3 young children? You're seriously going to go to grad school then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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op: I'll go to grad school until getting married. Possibly more than 1 degree, but one should be fine. Can always go back to school is future DH leaves [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:32 PM Flag
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np - you're so naive, it's mind boggling [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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Denied from grad school, were you? It's okay, not all of us can be intelligent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:02 PM Flag
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aside from the fact that we decide to sah after working a while, how in hell are you going to find a husband rich enough to ensure a stress free sah lifestyle if you're in teaching or psychology? you have to go into banking, law, finance or the like and meet peers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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op is a troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:28 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:31 PM Flag
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You seem like the troll, dear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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op: or meet them while I'm in grad school and have plenty of time to date. I def don't want a finance person [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:36 PM Flag
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why in hell would you waste time in grad school if you plan to sah. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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Why would you waste time working if you plan to SAH? School is much more beneficial for your future [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:03 PM Flag
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Some people like to learn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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I was with dh all through college and did sort of what you describe. I got an altruistic job that was really tough and had no real room for growth and I knew id just have to stick it our for a few years so I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:29 PM Flag
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& believe it or not I always answered "a mom" whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I honestly never had any career aspirations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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Me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:38 PM Flag
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i don't understand. why did you "have to stick it out?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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I worked until I got pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:16 PM Flag
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It took you years to get pregnant in your 20s? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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There were several years between graduating from college and ttc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:20 PM Flag
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Did your DH know about your plan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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Yes, always. We were both raised by sahms and discussed it early in our relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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np: I'm in the same boat and mine did [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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there's no guarantee you'll meet the right guy so soon, and that he will agree with your life plan. then it may take you years to have a baby (yes, some women in their 20s have infertility). then that guy may lose his job, or get sick, or divorce you. why would you choose to be dependent your entire adult life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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It's how I grew up, it worked out well. Same for my dh and now it's working for us too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:33 PM Flag
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so, you've been lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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Why plan for the worst? Why not live the life you want and then adjust if necessary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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i guess i don't understand why you wouldn't plan for obvious potential problems. you don't hurt yourself by getting educated and becoming capable of holding down a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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I'm educated and would get a job if I needed to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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Not entirely but in this aspect, I guess. We also put in effort towards our goal which is to have a great relationship /marriage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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I always planned on being a SAHM but that didn't take away my intellectual curiosity. My mom was a SAHM with three masters degrees (two were earned later in life). Education is never wasted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:39 PM Flag
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Best response on here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Me again - my poor neighbor whose wife we're close to passed away. I'd posted about my parents not being willing to watch the kids during the funeral. But this takes the cake: the funeral is scheduled for Sunday morning, during which time my parents were going to come watch the kids take part in a neighborhood egg hunt anyway. Although they will be here ANYWAY, they are insisting we find a babysitter if both of us want to go to the funeral. And we've GOT a neighbor to watch 2 out of 3 kids - this is just for the one littlest. Unbelievable. Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves. They are going to be here ANYWAY and insist on a sitter for two hours!!! 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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What is their reason? Seems like we are missing some info here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:23 PM Flag
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OP - I wish I knew. Old and eccentric is all I can come up with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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When you asked, they said....????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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Quote: "I'm not sure I'll feel like doing that." I want to beat my head into the wall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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So, when they get there to take the kids to the egg hunt, you can leave for the funeral. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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OP: that's the problem. They will go as spectators to the egg hunt. Will not go as responsible for one toddler, insist on us or a sitter present. I can't wrap my head around it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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Dude - MAJOR mistake. Come on, you're better than that! Churches don't have funerals on Easter Sunday. And where the fuck could you live where the community egg hunt is ON Easter Sunday, when nobody can attend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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Post link to obit, then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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Yeah, I'll get right on outing myself and my neighbors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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How would posting the obit out you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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The details on this post alone are pretty unique - I'm not going to post positively identifying information! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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You've never heard of Jewish people, have you - OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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+1. Fake st post ever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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OP - again, you operate on the assumption that everyone is a) Christian and b) religious. Welcome to the rest of the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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Church? Not synagogue! And the funeral is so important (you first posted the death several days ago) they waited until Easter Sunday morning to have itknowingalarge majority if people wouldn't come? Right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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Anyway, the simple thing, which you could have just done instead of ranting about your parents constantly, is to hire a sitter no matter when the funeral is. Or one parent goes, one stays. It's hardly rocket science. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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OP: the death was imminent several days ago. It hadn't happened yet. Consult with your local rabbi about burial practices over Passover if this is so unbelievable to you. This may seem incredible to you (or not, since you assume no funeral on the planet ever would happen on Easter Sunday), but I haven't been able to find a sitter. If it's not rocket science, how about you post a name and a number of one? I'll happily call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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^^@rant comment - maybe because this lady has been warmer, kinder, and more helpful to me and my family than my own parents have been, I suppose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Jebus. Please tell them not to come at all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:52 PM Flag
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OP - I'm gonna have to, because my neighbors will (rightly) be asking WTF are we doing babysitting when grandpa's right there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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Bring baby to funeral. One of you exit with baby if baby gets noisy. Take turns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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OP - we'll have to do that. Our neighbor watched our older kids when younger were born, threw me a shower, we clear her walk - she's lovely. I can't believe my parents are behaving this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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What church doesn't have an Easter service on Sunday morning? Give it up already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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Plenty of synagogues don't have Easter services, you know. I'm guessing very few people on this thread are urban or from NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 09:18 PM Flag
[ - ] SOUTHERN CHARM: What do you think of the new reality series? I'm totally into Thomas Ravenel he's the HOT one! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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You're kidding right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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np. right? or she is that 23 year old red head. somewhat entertaining, but I wouldn't go near any of the men on that show . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:40 PM Flag
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i like the one that is married and had the carolina party - he seems fun and pretty normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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Ew. Go away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:24 PM Flag
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I am oddly fascinated by this show. Especially when they go back to the plantation from 1700's or whatever. I don't find any of the men attractive though. So entitled and obtuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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lol, such a loser [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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Druggie Politician.. Worst combe EVER! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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^^combo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Best backpack for the early elementary age? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:16 PM Flag
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ll bean junior bookpack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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pottery barn kids mckenzie -- the second smallest size fits a smal kid but can also hold a folder [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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PIttery Barn Kids. We bought ds one in preschool and still have it (and use it!) and he's now in fifth grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Pottery barn kids. But I don't like the smallest size-- we just went with the size "small" (which is the second smallest size) and it worked well for our tall preschooler, and he can keep using it for awhile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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Lands end [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:40 PM Flag
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LL Bean lasts forever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:42 PM Flag
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Lands end will refund or replace for free until the end of time for ANY reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:31 PM Flag
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I believe LL Bean has the same policy- np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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Beatrix NY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] 6yo DS was crying last night about how he didn't want to go to supermarkets with aisles because it would be easy for people to shoot you. Have no idea where this would come from. He does not watch anything other that Nick Jr on TV. I told him that would not happen and tried to change the subject. Should I have tried to talk more with him about it? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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Not necessarily. I think your approach makes sense when you're talking about a one time situation. If the fear persists I'd talk to him about it more. But a simple reassurance and changing the subject is a good approach for an isolated incident. He may have just had that random fear because of something he overheard/saw, and will now forget it. In that case you were smart to downplay it. If the fear persists, you can talk about it more. But I think you handled this correctly so far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Wow. So sad. I would def talk to him more, find out where he saw it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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I think I saw a movie once where someone was shooting through the aisle, like taking a cereal box down and finding a gap to shoot thru [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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Validate his fear and discuss the origin of his fear. Then, reassure him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm a SAHM with a nanny. Any questions? 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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What do you do all day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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parent, read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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parent is not a verb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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yes it is. np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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not really. that was added because of its slang usage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:17 PM Flag
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you can't trust a damn thing nowadays because nothing has a standard nnymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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language is a living thing. It is constantly evolving. Words that get used, "slang" or not, become an official part. Stop being such a petty tight ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:45 PM Flag
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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you are just stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:31 PM Flag
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You must have asked that of yourself, because this schtick got boring about 6 months ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:16 PM Flag
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Not really. You sound bored. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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op: And you're on UB because.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:22 PM Flag
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Cool story bro [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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HHI? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Have you ever worked? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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How many kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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op: 1, may have another in a year or two [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Do you like to fish? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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also, fresh water or deep sea? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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op: never been fishing, but the idea doesn't really appeal to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:22 PM Flag
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You seem to be casting right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:31 PM Flag
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you are my idol! I'm sure you will get flamed but listen if you are happy that's all that matters and I'm sure you are in a better mood for your kids because of the help and you can really focus and be present in the time you have with them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:17 PM Flag
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She's drugged. That's why she's happy. (or drinks a lot of wine) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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Where did you go to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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SAHM with school aged children here. Do you plan to work at some point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:20 PM Flag
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op: no, don't need to. I prefer to read and work on art projects and have plenty of time to devote to family without added stress [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:21 PM Flag
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This is the life I will have in 1-2 yrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:19 PM Flag
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Yes, it is very nice. It helps that I have a friend who also does this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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You should start an online business [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:24 PM Flag
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You are so fake it's painful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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What's so fake? Plenty of women have her lifestyle; not that big of a deal! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:37 PM Flag
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Right but OP is not one of them. OP is on here specifically to troll and get people on both sides upset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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why did you feel you needed a nanny? is is because you have a lot of other things going on, or because you have the money and were like, shit, why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:27 PM Flag
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How many others are in your same shoes (I am -- and most others where I live)? What do you make of the UB hate for people in your/our situation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:30 PM Flag
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That you are incredibly lazy and your brains are atrophying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:18 PM Flag
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I posted above with the school aged children. I actually take classes at the university near me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Doesn't your brain atrophy from playing solitaire at the office all day? I read Shakespeare and Chaucer. 2 books a week. You are stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:40 PM Flag
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sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:46 PM Flag
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OR: odd that you sit behind your keyboard and judge someone you know nothing about. Chances are I'm better educated, more successful professionally, and have made more (of my own) money already than you ever will. This is a particular phase of my life, and I'm choosing to live it my own way. You do what works for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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Uh huh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.17.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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