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[ - ] has anyone had a lot of credit card debt, and used credit couseling or some kind of consildation plan that was legit and really helped get it under control? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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Yes, Christian Credit Counselors in CA. They were excellent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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op thanks, but what if you're in ny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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np- do you have a link? TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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dh and I got in massive debt, but just paid it off. took a couple of years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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when you say "massive" mind sharing the number? did you work out anything with credit co. or just paid straight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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between 30k and 40k. just paid straight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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feels good to get out of it, doesn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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oh yeah, but it really set us back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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consolidation is in all cases a ripoff. The answer is spend less. (Google "Micawber Principle") [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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not always that simple [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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ittta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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^^I agree. I hate these smug unhelpful answers. I know that now but too late. I need help for what I'm in not what I should have done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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yeah, but she is obviously in a hole now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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^^ THANK YOU! No need to state the obvious...looking for right advice for what's NOW please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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Get on the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover. It works, makes total sense, and gets you back to joy the fastest. Be very skeptical of debt consolidation. They totally destroy your credit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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OP thanks this is the kind of advice I need- concrete and helpful! Does this program get you sorted out of what your in with tips etc. or is it just a preventative approach? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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^^ referring to the DAVE Ramsey thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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It is totally for your situation, but a lot of effort. He starts with the basics. What do you bring in after taxes, what are you spending it on, are your car(s) too expensive, is there anything you can sell? Then once that is where he likes it, he starts you paying off your debts - not in order of interest rate - but from smallest to largest in what is called the debt snowball. The experience has shown that his plan of attack actually works, but most people are so panicked when things get really tight they just can't think straight. The book really helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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right now my largest debt has no interest at all, so I wouldn't use that model, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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well, that's perfect then. Make minimum payments on all of them, but cut expenses to the bone and put every spare nickel on the smallest debt. Once that is out of the way, you have more money to apply to the next smallest debt. You gather momentum as you go, because those minimum payments that were eating you up start to disappear. But don't refinance and put it all on the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:11 AM Flag
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op: WOW! thank you so much for sharing all that detail! i truly appreciate it and will get book today [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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or- no problem, I am with you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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or? Op here- do you know that they work with people in NY? Does anyone know of CRedit counselors in NY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:04 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm riding my bike across Iowa this summer. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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RAGBRAI? Are you taking kids?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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no, just myself, but very nervous about the whole thing. Starting to wish I weighed about 25 pounds less! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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np: ragbrai? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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np: i think its pig latin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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pig draftin' in my case [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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register's annual great bike ride across Iowa. 1500 lunatics in spandex [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Smugaboo 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 05.22.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:51 AM Flag
[ - ] last night, 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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DH wanted some but I wasnt in the mood. Next time I will because instead I was woken up at 5am to him, ummm, being in the mood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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a handjob and titshot shouldn't be too much to ask [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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lol, you must be a dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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well, yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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np: are you my dh? cuz u sound just like him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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no, but we're all alike [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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the least a dw can do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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hopefully you learned your lesson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
[ - ] So, what do you think is the appropriate response to the nasty 8th grade blog. If you were head of school how would you handle it? http://www.nysun.com/new-york/tears-glee-greet-a-gossip-girl-copycat/76895/ 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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I don't know if I think that it's a school responsibility. IMO it's a parental responsibility. I assume that the school involved is Dalton (since it's the only school mentioned). Anybody know what the school did? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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I wouldn't assume that - there was no mention of dalton in the part of the blog I saw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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i saw the blog. it was typical mean spirited junior high gossip. lots of cliquey foolishness and jealousy which could certainly hurt feelings. most of the kids at my kids school have a pretty good idea who wrote it. the kids involved/maligned/gossiped about are from several different schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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I meant Dalton was the only school mentioned in articles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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^^^And, yes, Dalton was mentioned in the cached blog, as was Riverdale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
[ - ] ub is so slow now. i don't think that many moms are on now. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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and no one answers anything anymore. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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sucks, doesn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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i miss my snarky virtual friends! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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no they are somewhere else [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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where is everyone now? is it because of htis new layout? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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everyone is on youbemom.com created by a mom on old ub after this change. she write in purple so you know when she is on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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so why don't you come over to the other side? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Wow crappy week for my family. My sister's husband is leaving her without warning with a new baby and my DH lost his job 3 days ago. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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so sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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there must have been a warning for your sister. no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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np maybe she just didnt want to see the signs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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not fair: maybe he is a good liar - np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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for another woman? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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well what was it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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thinks they married the wrong people, having a nervous breakdown, who knows? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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my ex-bil did that. decided he didn't "believe" in marriage 3 months after first child was born. he did, however, believe in letting my sister support him for years while he worked on getting his PhD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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np: i wonder if this is some sort of post-partum depression, the guy version (not defending them) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I actaully think he is having some kind of mental break, I have tried to be there for my sister but unfortunately with our new news this week with the job loss its crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:12 AM Flag
[ - ] A women from my work is 20 weeks pregnant, her husband just called in said the babies are fine but she needs surgery. What type of surgery could she be having? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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knee? dental? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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could be anything. Did he say it was related to pregnancy? Maybe appendix, tonsils, bunions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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wait, what? Why is dh telling her she needs surgery? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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np: i think dh called her office to explain why she's not at work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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if it is pregnancy related--I would make a guess that it is a cerclage. Twins? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:53 AM Flag
[ - ] what is hhi? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 05.22.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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Household income [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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house hold income. why the double H? i don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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HouseHoldIncome [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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registered trademark, Faith Popcorn style [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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Hilton Head Is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Wow, the board IS really slow! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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it is a torture. everyone is GONE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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I actually agree. i'm here today but havent been on in over a week. in the old days i was here every work day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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the "new" format bites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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so sad. i'm still in mourning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Is 41 yr old lawyer mom on? 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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Yep! And great you've changed from "41 year dating mom". Sounds better. How are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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Good but please let me first apologize for calling you dating mom. I feel like a total snook. The only reason I put it this way was to differentiate from anyone else who might be 41 and on the board. You are absolutely above that moniker. Ah, my conscience is now better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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Thanks -- but I didn't really take it that seriously. Just sounded weird, but I guess it is after all true. Funny though because the only dates I have actually been on are those with the man I was originally talking about - not really playing the field [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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That's why I like chatting with you, you're smart! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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From my response, what makes me seem smart? Not taking things seriously or not playing the field? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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Both. Who needs the aggravation. I have this convoluted theory that dating works for people who don't date. Think about it, the minute you are not looking for someone,,,,, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I agree -- life is what happens when you are busy making other plans... I think people who date a lot tend to miss the oat a bit -- they seem to make lists and do comparative analyses, rather than go on feelings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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boat, not oat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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And wind up miserable because they are neurotic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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Just saw this -- so true!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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Anything new on the dating front for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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Yes, I think I mentioned that a 2 1/2 year relationship ended in December and I have been taking a break from human contact. Anyway, a friend of mine set me up with a friend ... here we go again. We spoke on the phone a couple of times and met for lunch yesterday. She seems very nice and ended lunch saying "call me". I am probably the world's most relaxed dater. Are you still in contact with the man you were dating? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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OK, this is great. To me, your lunch sounds very promising -- you describe her as "very nice" and maybe you appreciated the "call me". Are you excited to see her again? For me, I have not been in contact with him, but am really considering asking him if he would like to go out (for fun) for drinks or dinner. I would be very sincere in saying to him that I really like spending time with him (and would not let him know that I miss him terribly). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I would like to see her again. She is insanely easy to talk to, which we both agree is a top dating requirement. Your second question is a tough one to answer but here is my experience and take on your situation: I have had no contact with my ex-girlfriend except a quick birthday email saying that I hope she is doing well. There are any number of reasons but I believe that sometimes a person needs to move on and live in the present. I feel so badly for you that you miss him so much. He sounds like a nice guy but I wouldn't want you to feel even worse. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, he will call. And I think that someone can be more passionate about someone they went out with for six months than a few years. Please, just don't go into it thinking he had a change of heart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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"Insanely easy to talk to" -- you sound like me! It really is the number one requirement -- I think people who get caught up in all the other stuff, forget that talking to someone and loving what they say is what it is about (and the people you connect with on that level are the people you miss). Wow -- fabulous point about the 6 months -- I had not thought about that. We left each other (or, he left me) at the height of that period of intense passion -- we had not had time to go to that really comfortable level, say after a year or so and were still always touching, kissing. I really had not thought of the 6 monts idea, but that is probably one reason why I miss him (well, in the way I miss him) so much. I also know you are right about a man calling, just hard when you care a lot. I won't contact him. When we first spoke, you said you were familiar with loving someone you are not with -- was that the ex-girlfriend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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your message got cut off a little, but I always used the barometer that anything over six months is long term because by then you have told all your "stories", hit you favorite hangouts, etc. and your history with each other and ability to think up new things to see and do is dependent on each other. Also, let's face it, that intense passion cannot last forever. It is part of the newness. Your point about connection is so right. I was in love with someone before I met my ex-wife and we would just into the hours of the night about everything and anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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Question: where did you go to college and law school? Me - undergrad Michigan, business school NYU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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This will definitely out me -- but maybe noone is paying attention but you -- undergrad Wisconsin, law school Cornell, then Masters in Economics at LSE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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Another Big 10 graduate??? This is getting scary! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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It is -- and I loved it there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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forgot the word "talk into the hours of the night". Could have gotten in trouble with this omission! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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Ah, you answered my question that must have gotten cut off. I had asked about when we first started talking you said you were familiar with loving someone you are not with -- I guess it was the woman you were in love with before you met your ex-wife. What happened? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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Don't remember exactly what I wrote back then but the story is, we were absolutely crazy about each other and we were the first bf/gf for each other after graduating college and living in NYC. We toured the city and did EVERYTHING. Anyway, I went to LA to work for a summer and when I got back it was never the same. She said she never saw my happier than when I was out there and said that she did not think longer term it would work out - talk about getting your heart splattered all over Park Ave. Out of curiosity, I Googled her and it turns out she is divorced with 3 kids. I have no desire to contact here but hope in some way she knows how special she was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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Wow, she is single. I think that btdt is a recipe for disaster, but you don't have late night thoughts about it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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Not in the least. It took me a couple of years to realize that she was right. I have nothing but good wishes for her. Again, I believe in living in the present. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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Very wise, intelligent. Clearly the Big ten in you (I am a big fan of those schools). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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Maybe your sentence with the omission is true as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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My omission was somewhere along the line of please don't put yourself in a position to feel disappointed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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Thank you -- I think this one will take some time for me to get over. The connection was amazing, he made me very happy. So what happened in your marriage? You seem to have the right philosophical way of looking at things? What went wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Met ex-wife at work. She had three miscarriages before daugther came along. She then became addicted to prescription drugs and was taking up to eight different pills at a time. I need to tell you something else, it is difficult for me to not see my daughter every day. This is not the way I wanted things to turn out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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I am sorry about your relationship -- this must have been hard to watch. I am also very sorry about the time with your daughter, however, I am glad you told me how you feel about this. My ex was and is almost completely disinterested in his children, from the day they were born. I am still in disbelief about this -- children are the most important things in our lives, nothing compares, and his neglect is sad and painful. That is another reason I don't date much -- time away from the children for just a date is not worth it. When I do encounter potential dates -- either online or otherwise -- I highly value how they approach fatherhood and if they cherish it, if not we would just not connect. I am sorry again about your situation, but I am sure your daughter values the time she has with you, as you do -- the time away doesn't take away from her love for you as a father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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Your message got cut off. Dou you want to keep chatting some other time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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OMG -- I didn't realize how late it was. When is good for you? The reason UB is good for me is that it is not blocked at work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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Do you go online when the kids are asleep or is work time better? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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I can -- usually try to get them down by 9 or so, then clean up until 10. Is that too late? Otherwise work around lunch is fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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I'll send something out around 10 tonight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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you two should get together and smooch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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Remember the six-month yardstick! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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Oops. dropped this in wrong place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 09:51 AM Flag
[ - ] what's everyone doing this weekend? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 05.22.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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no plans so thinking about going on a mini-road trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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