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[ - ] After reading all of the insane posts on this board about NY schools I have officially decided we're moving far, far away from NYC when db is schoolage. You are all crazy! 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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this board is not representative of actual NYC parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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I = [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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^^ sorry... damn return! I'm not sure about that - the "cross-section" seems to be too large and crazy for my taste [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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well, i'm a happy public school mom and i've almost never encountered the insanity you find on UB in real life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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easy to say now, but will you really leave? where would you go? also, i can tell you that it's just about the same in SF, for instance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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Not SF, DH wouldn't be able to work there as well. We'll either got to DC or Paris [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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np: sorry, it's scarier when you take a school tour with them, you can see the wheels of their minds grinding. eek. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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exactly. these people are nuts! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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or: omg, they totally freak me out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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so what did you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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well, for one massive open house, i left. in another smaller tour, spoke to another mother who seemed normal and was...but overall, i was not excited to have my child with their offspring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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lol. is your dc is school now? public or private? I can't decide which is worse... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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public. what i'm speaking of was a g&t tour of a citywide program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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Trust me, you'll be here when it's your time. And you'll sound just as nutty as the rest of us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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don't count on it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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one thing i will say is that most of the people i have met at open houses, registration, etc. have been so normal - i think the wait for those results this year truly made everyone crazy (myself included) - and the way they did placements - basically only 99s getting into citywides - really intensified the importance of the test scores. it is what you make of it and up until the end wasn't really a big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Consider homeschooling. It's worked really well for us. No better place than New York. SO MANY resources. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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It isn't the people that are crazy it is the system and the fact that most schools here suck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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yes, this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 10:07 PM Flag
[ - ] another swaddling question - did you just stop it cold turkey or slowly stop doing it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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juat stopped when baby wanted to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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ditto - ds started to fight it so we stopped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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how did you knowwhen that was? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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db started fighting it, we went another week or so and then called it a day. Moved into sleep sacks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone breast feed twins? I am pumping and thinking of stopping next week when they turn three months. It is taking over my life. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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No experience of twins but I have bf. Well done for have done so much already stop whenever you feel it isn't right for you anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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np: I breastfed one baby, cannot imagine how tough it must be to do twins. Kudos to you OP for doing it for 3 mos, esp with pumping which I found SOOOO timeconsuming and tiring and not fun -- time I wish I could have spent w/my dd. Anyway, congrats on your lovely babies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.25.08, 09:37 AM Flag
[ - ] What would you pay for a 1300 sq. ft. apartment in Park Slope, near Atlantic Ave. subways, with 2 full baths, new kitchen, elevator and balcony? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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3000? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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Sorry... I meant to buy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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low seven hundreds, high six hundreds maybe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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Depends on where, but for that size place I'd pay 900 if its in good shape [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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really? wow...that's good especially since we live pretty close to where op is describing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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what would you/did you pay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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we're closer to Atlantic Ave but on the Boerum Hill side. We also low-balled a few years ago and the developer took it. BUT we are a bit under 1000 sq ft. We were about mid-$600Ks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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this place is near Atlantic too, but clearly 1300sq ft and a true 3-bedroom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:35 AM Flag
[ - ] for ivfers, did you all do the progesterone after getting a pos? for how long? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 06.24.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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yes, I did suppositories up until the 3rd month when I switched from my RE to my OB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Need advice regarding DH... he is incredibly sweet and loving to me except when he gets stressed by work and then he takes it out on me. I basically do everything I can to please him (giving him space when he needs it, giving him backrubs when he needs them, making dinner, etc), and he's appreciative and appologitic when he's feeling better. However, whenever I'm stressed or upset he gets upset with me and doesn't do anything to help... Why the double standard, and how can I work to change it? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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have you pointed this out to him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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I have tried, but I think I have bad timing because it usually bothers me when I'm already stressed and then he gets upset which makes me more upset... and I hate to bring it up when we're both happy to make us both upset [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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i understand, but you have to risk raising it when you aren't already upset and can be a bit more reasonable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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Do you tell him that you are upset and need him to help you out. My dh needs things spelling out then he is helpful. If I'm just upset and don't say anything about why he finds it annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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Good point. I usually try to get him to help (i.e, i've had a really long day and would love for him to make dinner, but I mention it once, he doesn't do it, so I make dinner and then get more upset because he doesn't offer to help) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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I think you need to be clear with him i.e 'can you peel the veg, set the table'. I was totally stressed out the other night and my dh came into the kitchen and said what are you doing. I said 'my least favorite job unloading the dishwasher and I'm shattered.' His response was ok and he walked out of the kitchen I couldn't get angry because I know if I said can you help me with this he would. I can't expect him to read my mind. Maybe your dh is similar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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true. That is our sort of situation, although I know its partly my fault becasue I tend to shoulder more of my burden than necessary. But he's also always too busy to do things that he SHOULD do, like clean up his clothes in the closet, and I keep reminding him but he doesn't because he has to run to work, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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I actually think we might be married to the same man! I just leave his mess for him to deal with and keep everything else tidy. I don't tell him to tidy up but I do say 'I don't like having to look at your clothes on the floor' etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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lol, probably. I know his work is stressful but there are some things I don't feel it is my job to do, which include cleaning up clothes he leaves on the floor... I am happy to do the laundry, etc., but its the things he just dumps after wearing that gets me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Ok. I think as both our husbands are exactly the same (and I know many of my friends have the same issues) then it has to be 'normal' and we probably just have to put up with it. GL :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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Yeah, I'm sure it is totally normal. I guess I'd just love to have him want to pitch in a bit more... but I'll take what I can get (he is exceptionally good about cleaning the kitchen after I've cooked a big meal. Of course, he doesn't clean it until the next morning, but still...) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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Ita. My Dh gets the same way when it comes to work. When I explain how I feel and suggest that he needs to learn to control his stress, he is very apologetic and tries his best to be better during those times. I also try to remember that it's the stress and not me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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I'm hearing control issues here...especially the part about taking it out on you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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can you elaborate on what you mean by control issues? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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blaming those situations on you is a textbook symptom of contolling men, angry men, and verbal abusers...another trait is being overly obsequious and appreciative at other times. I have one myself so I am learning a lot about this through therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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he never blames his work situations on me, nor is he overly appreciative - he apologizes for being stressed and is grateful that I understand it is work and not about me. He's never come near to being angry or verbal abuse. Sorry you're in a really bad sit though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:34 AM Flag
[ - ] I was googling NEST last night and discovered a lawsuit against NEST and the DOE filed by a father whose child was not accepted after the onsite last year. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 06.24.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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What was the outcome? I'm sure this year will yield similar lawsuits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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^^^ In all seriousness, I think an interesting lawsuit would be a class action from parents of 4 yr old boys, protesting the testing at an age where boys as a group are known to be slightly behind developmentally than girls. There is an inherent unfairness to this situation. FWIW, I'm the parent of 2 dds, so no axe to grind here personally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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I agree, but I don't think boys ever catch up anymore, and certainly not in elementary [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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that's because after a long time of teaching to boys' strengths they now teach to girls'. boys are set up to fail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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below poster: ita. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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new poster and ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 02:55 PM Flag
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np: said it here before...i'm totally in favor of same sex education for certain subjects. wish the divided classes for some subjects and brought them together for others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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DH is a teacher and he says the problem is teachers these days want boys to act like girls, so that's why so many boys are labled ADD or just "problems." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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your dh is a WISE man. I am fighting this system daily. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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that ought to be fun reading. do you have a link? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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Thanks. I finally got to know what NEST did at their onsites in the past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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i guess that's an argument for the scores-only approach? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Now everyone will have to sue the DOE since nothing is in the hands of the schools anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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Actually Lawsuit is from parents of a girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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Yes, a separate conversation from the tangent above [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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did they promise her placement or something in on-site interview? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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No, the father just didn't believe that his high scoring dd ranked lower than other kids on the onsite [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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ah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Here's another good lawsuit for those of you who are bored: http://www.counsel.nysed.gov/Decisions/volume34/d13253.htm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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that's a real hoot. keep them coming! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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Joseph must be 20 now. I wonder how he did in life! (+ I'm so glad that NYC parents aren't the only crazy ones) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone watch the bachelorette? who is your fave? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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graham [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:49 AM Flag
[ - ] need recommendations for anniversary dinner. Price no object. Can be anywhere in the city. Want to go someplace great 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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boathouse cafe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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Per se. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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When is your anniversary? If it is more than 2 months away, plan for trying to get a reservation at Per Se. if 1 month, try for Babbo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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union square cafe, asiate, buddakhan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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gramercy tavern [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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np: ITA. Or Il Buco. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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I think Bouley is romantic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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like seafood - check out Lure in Soho. great oysters... great seafood. great atmosphere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:40 AM Flag
[ - ] at what age did you stop swaddling your baby? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Newborn 06.24.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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about a month old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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4 mos, he was a poor sleeper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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#1 7mo, #2 2mo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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11 mos. She loved it! By then she broke out of it quickly, but she wanted it as part of her sleep routine. Now age 5, she still loves to be wrapped up and in enclosed spaces. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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np: what swaddling blanket did you have that was big enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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4mos bc she was breaking out of it. now wish i had never b/c she can't learn to sleep without it. or at least wish i had stopped when she was still small enough for bassinet, think teaching her how to sleep unswaddled would've been easier in that than the huge crib [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Apart from exmissions, what is the difference between TT preschools and "preschool alternative/FCFS" preschools? Are the teachers much better at TT preschools? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 06.24.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Honestly and truly, I did not see a difference between the teaching my dd got at a preschool daycare versus the top developmental preschools that I toured. Her teacher was excellent, with many years of prek and k experience. The only reason we moved her was because we wanted to try the Montessori method [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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nothing. and FWIW, the TT schools really do not take dcs from certain 'tt' preschools it is a myth created by the unconnecteds who want to try and control something in this uncontrollable system [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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I don't understand what you just said? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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That is where your dc goes to preschool has no bearing whatsoever on whether they move on to a TT private school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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Teacher here: I've taught at a TT school and at a tiny, no-name school and, in theory, DC's experience could be similar at any type of school/program. There are a lot of factors at play -- in most cases, it's the teachers who impact the experience, but great ones are everywhere and terrible ones are everywhere. There may be a difference in resources depending on the school (but the brand of crayon isn't going to make or break a preschool experience). The peer groups may be different -- and, in theory, a TT may have more compliant, better behaved DCs(but that's not always the case AT ALL!). I think that a TT school can help when a DC is WL'd -- the PSD will have connections and make phone calls and can often help with an acceptance (although the family may not be thrilled about where). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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there is no that much sway from a PSD to an Admissions Director. The dc is either in or not there is no fence sitting in TT privates [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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A PSD can't change a reject into an accept -- but a PSD can help move a DC off of the WL (or from the "maybe" pile to the accept pile before letters go out). As I wrote, the family may not be thrilled about the school (it may be near the bottom of their list and not a TT), but it's still an accept -- and, IME, this rarely happened at the unconnected school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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I have worked for four years at my alma mater and though it is TT, so may not fall into the sort of school for whom a PSD's word means something, I have heard from other friends at other schools that the power of a preschool's director in the admissions process is largely something the preschools like to pretend is real in order to draw more applicants and interested parents. I know we pay no attention and I can only assume few other schools do. But I will take your word for it as this seems to be your experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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It's my experience -- although who knows how much convincing really needed to be done (maybe the DOA liked the DC and was waiting to hear that the family would take the spot). I don't mean that the PSD bullies the ongoing into an accept -- I just mean that she may "talk up" the DC. Of course, a PSD hopes not to be in this position -- a PSD hopes that everyone has an accept of the bat! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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FWIW at our absolutely no name, no prestige, no one ever heard of it pre-school, every single child who took DOE's test made the cut-off. We have wonderful teachers and a wonderful community, though on UB it has been referred to as "no better than daycare." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Which one? Looking for options for next year on UES for DD who is not yet 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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This is on Upper West. First come, first served pre-school that's been around for 40 years. Wonderful, experienced teachers, but no frills and no high-end rep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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First Friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 01:21 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone told another mom that her nanny did something wrong? how did it go over? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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No, but I was once told about something my nanny did. I confronted her on it, she explained her side of it and I realized that the situation was blown way out of proportion. I told her if she feels weird about anything in the future I would rather hear about it from her first. And she does. We have always had a great relationship and this openness made it stronger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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That is very, very tricky. If it was a one-time event that didn't threaten the health or safety of the child, let it go. If it is an ongoing thing, try to find someone who knows the mother and ask if they've seen it too. In my experience, the nanny's employer often feels attacked and gets very defensive. So, you have to tread carefully and speak very neutrally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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i would like people to tell me if my nanny did something [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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So you say. Do you ask? I've been asked a few times (I'm a SAHM), but only by people who employ great nannies! Ask! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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I can tell you what not to do - don't send a hysterical email accusing her nanny of child abandonment. If you are afraid the child is in danger, don't spend 3 days writing an email. Pick up the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] I want another iced coffee, but I'm still buzzing from the last one. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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grad a decaf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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That's really fascinating - so glad you shared that pearl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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Feel free to post something more interesting. This site is DEAD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:17 AM Flag
[ - ] What toy does your 8mo love to play with? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Newborn 06.24.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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Things that make a noise. Stacking cups he can bang together, electric keyboard, things he can chew on too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.24.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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