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NY Schools
06.20.08, 04:06 PM
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really? I thought that is was like any other test - very talented dc could screw up and get shut out - just like with IQ tests. My dd, who has perfect pitch, didn't even make it to the second round, but she was sick that day in a bad mood and didn't like the guy who gave her the rhythm part of the test. FWIW, the one dc we know who got in took no private lessons there, as far we know, and not yet picked up an instrument. I think that they actually prefer to take talented dc who they think may not otherwise have the opportunity to develop their talents. I could be wrong though.
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06.20.08, 04:29 PM
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NP; was that this year? I think they may have some sibling preference. They certainly are opaque about the process.
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06.20.08, 04:51 PM
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lots of siblings at the school. lots.
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06.21.08, 03:53 AM
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But how can you explain the fully-booked preK class taught by the DOA? Maybe one or two new kids squeak in each year, but that's it.
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06.20.08, 04:59 PM
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I don't know. I was only speaking of my experience. Is it really true that they are mostly dc who took classes there? I just assumed that my kid got cut because she had a bad day and didn't want to perform.
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06.20.08, 05:14 PM
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I know someone who got in and wasn't taking any music classes. Not connected.
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06.20.08, 05:03 PM
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I didn't know SMS has a prek class. Are you referring to the school that is actually a private school? Lucy Moses?
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06.20.08, 05:30 PM
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That is what she said
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06.20.08, 05:31 PM
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That sounds terrible. So, they only accept kids who can afford the prek tuition at Lucy Moses.
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06.20.08, 05:33 PM
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I don't think that is true, but who knows - nothing would surprise me at this point
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06.20.08, 05:35 PM
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Totally not true!! Both my DC and my dear friend's DC went to Round 2 at SMS and were wait listed. Dear friend's DC was called this week and declined the spot (going private instead) then we got called and declined(going to very good district G&T instead). We had NO connections and our kids had not taken classes there before.
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06.20.08, 06:21 PM
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But you were wl. All of the people I know with kids there had connections. We were not interested in the school but could have used connections as well.
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06.20.08, 08:06 PM
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We knew NO ONE, NO CONNECTIONS, were w/l any way, and then got an OFFER proving the OP is completely off base with this post.
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06.21.08, 06:29 AM
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^^^^ Plus OP is telling people not to apply??? Why, DC goes on 2 play dates, big deal, it is STILL worth a shot! Again we knew NO ONE and eventually got offered a spot. We didn't take the spot but it was offered.
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06.21.08, 06:31 AM
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how do you know you're going to a district g&t instead?
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03.29.09, 01:01 PM
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One year they passed out almost 1/2 the places in K. to siblings.
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06.21.08, 03:52 AM
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so? Nearly every school has sibling preference.
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06.21.08, 06:36 AM
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NP: What do you mean, so? This school is supposed to be about being musically gifted. It has only 15 spots to hand out for the whole city. Sibling preference has no place there.
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06.22.08, 11:18 AM
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(OR) that was my point. I thought it was outrageous.
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06.25.08, 04:21 AM
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I know every class and it is not true. No class at SMS has half of the class with sibs. RIDICULOUS.
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10.30.08, 06:38 PM
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Not true - DF's dd not connected in any way and accepted a place there.
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06.21.08, 06:34 AM
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Reading through all these posts it seems clear that sometimes SMS takes unconnected kids (just like sometimes Brearley does) but connected kids and siblings have a much better shot. I think they are worried about drop outs, and so families that are known to them and have made some big effort to court them are attractive b/c they are lower risk. It isn't really their stated mission and that part sucks for those of us on the outside. NP
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06.22.08, 11:16 AM
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COMPLETE BS. we had absolutely NO CONNECTION and got in. The majority of sibs and faculty's children DO NOT get in. One or two sibs at the most every year (some years none) and they completely pass the tests based on their musicality. A huge portion of the music program is funded by private donors who believe in giving musically-gifted children the opportunity to take serious music lessons. How do you think these generous donors would feel if there was an "insider" way to get in? TOTALLY DEFEATS THE PURPOSE of this school. Go and see the kids perform, you will see that they are truly gifted and focused and love their instruments. You can call them and demand your child's score from past year, your child may have been very close to getting in, but if there is one spot left with three kids on the waitlist, obviously two families will be greatly disappointed. I am sorry you had a bitter experience, but PLEASE don't go around posting false accusations without having any proof. It is a very competitive school and not being accepted doesn't mean that your child is not musically-gifted. There are plenty of talented children who do not get in based on the final score but still grow up playing instruments as well as SMS kids. You go ahead and write an expose. There are a ton of families and well-connected folks who had to send their sibs/kids to different schools.
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10.30.08, 06:26 PM
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I know people on the inside who tell a different story, especially about the relative talent of the siblings. While the school turns away plenty of insiders (only 15 spots) and admits a few prodigious unconnected kids, the bulk of the spots go to people who have been hauling their kids to Lucy Moses since they were in diapers.
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03.29.09, 11:10 AM
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Preschool/Kids
06.20.08, 04:01 PM
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I think it really depends on the school, the other kids in the grade. My ds just finished pre-K, high functioning PDD-NOS. He's currently in an inclusion class, I hope one day he will move to mainstream...BUT I know he will have such a hard time socially, he could (like will) have such difficulty w/ kids who just prey on kids like him.
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06.20.08, 04:05 PM
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np: I am not sure what pdd-nos is, but I had a 7th grader with multiple disabilities transition from private to mainstream public this year. He has done well. He has been victim to teasing, but so do many kids that have been gen ed their entire lives. It depends on what you want for your child.
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06.22.08, 05:21 PM
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I say yes, although I have limited basis for saying so. I simply believe that older children, like in middle school or high school, can have mastered coping mechanisms to help them with the social issues. In the right school, I think you can do it.
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06.20.08, 04:07 PM
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be careful about this. He can easily be a target for the other NT kids and he might not have the social skills to deal with them. He might be better off in a highly-acadenic SN setting or integrated setting--unless you work intensively on coping skills. I'd have a neuropsych talk to him before hand to see where he is academically and socially and see if the neuro thinks this is a good idea. You don't want to put him in a position where he is going to be victimized.
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06.22.08, 05:14 PM
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06.20.08, 03:52 PM
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is she juts not able to tonight or did she have no reaspn other than 'no'?
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06.20.08, 03:52 PM
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you can't put your son to bed?
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06.20.08, 03:53 PM
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She said she can't have her son dropped of at our home from school even though our house is closer to the school than hers. So, she needs to get home.
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06.20.08, 03:54 PM
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sounds reasonable to me.
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06.20.08, 03:55 PM
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she has kids and you want her to stay late to deal with yours? I don't see how your request was at all reasonable....
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06.20.08, 03:55 PM
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Only because I'm quite sick. I give her days off all the time to take care of her personal appointments.
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06.20.08, 03:56 PM
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so don't do that anymore
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06.20.08, 04:04 PM
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You are right
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06.20.08, 04:08 PM
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maybe she had plans
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06.20.08, 03:53 PM
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She does not.
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06.20.08, 03:55 PM
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Picking up her son doesn't count as plans?
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06.20.08, 04:22 PM
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if you're there, why do you need help getting ds to bed?
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06.20.08, 03:53 PM
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I have strep + 103.5 fever and not able to keep food down. DH has been away all week.
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06.20.08, 03:55 PM
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you should have said that at the beginning, you made it sound like ds was sick, not you... I'm sorry that you're so sick, but maybe it was too late to reschedule where son gets dropped off.
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06.20.08, 03:57 PM
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Sorry. That's what I thought at first, but I know the carpooler. She would not have minded.
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06.20.08, 03:58 PM
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NP: so sorry! I had the strep misery last week and it was awful! I know exactly how you are feeling. I'd be less likely to be understanding of nanny's needs next time she asks you for a favor. Now you know where you stand with her.
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06.20.08, 04:05 PM
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That's a good point and thanks for the nice words
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06.20.08, 04:07 PM
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I know it's stressful to be sick and take care of kids, but she's your paid employee, and she has fulfilled her obligation to you by staying to her end time. She has her own life and her own problems. I hope you feel better-
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06.20.08, 03:58 PM
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Then I guess we should stop helping her so much with her personal life -- maybe that's the lesson learned. We help with her son, medical bills, loans and it goes on and on.
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06.20.08, 03:58 PM
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if it's freely given, it's freely given. If you expect something from her in return, this has to be explicit. I'm sorry; I wish I could agree with you because you are not feeling well and you are alone and you have a kid, and things suck right now. But don't take it out on nanny.
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06.20.08, 04:00 PM
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I asked her for +1 hour (at 3x pay) in a weak moment, and she asks for help ALL the time and we give it. I think it's quite unkind of her.
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06.20.08, 04:02 PM
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np: I agree with op. If the nanny can swing it, she should do it. Sounds like she could but is choosing not to do it.
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06.20.08, 04:03 PM
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np: I agree with you. She could have done this one time, especially if you know that her son could have been dropped off at your house. I hope you feel better. I would be a little ticked off too.
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06.20.08, 04:07 PM
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Positive thing is you know where things are with your nanny now. Stop doing so much for her.
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06.20.08, 04:10 PM
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she probably just didn't want her son to get strep, if you have 103.5 temp than you are contagious, who would want to expose ds to that at the beginning of summer holiday
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06.20.08, 04:19 PM
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that's what i was thinking
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06.20.08, 08:03 PM
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When my manager asks me to stay late, I can only do so if I can arrange for childcare, etc. It's not as simple as cutting into my down time.
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06.20.08, 04:21 PM
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I don't think this employer is just a manager if she's helping the nanny on all the stuff listed above
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06.22.08, 01:27 PM
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I think you're exaggerating. You have a temp that high as an adult and have "strep" yet you are on the computer bitching about your nanny? No, actually, I think you are lying. Especially because you actually responded to the responses. freak.
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06.22.08, 01:36 PM
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Dude. You're taking your relationship with your nanny way too personally. It's a business relationship. Deal.
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06.22.08, 01:42 PM
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06.20.08, 03:37 PM
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I think competition is natural to allhumans, not just women
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06.20.08, 03:40 PM
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Good point. But the men I know seem to work more cooperatively, at least at work.
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06.20.08, 03:40 PM
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I think you can't generalize from that. People are people. Comprtition is why we evolved. It's a good thing even if it's sometimes annoying
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06.20.08, 03:42 PM
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i think women are taught to be insecure in order to keep them in the old fashioned place of being subservient. all the attention on clothes, homes, jobs etc etc takes away from the full drive to truly suceed. men are also competitive, but it's of a different sort. no where near as catty and they truly believe they are they best (for the most part).
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06.20.08, 03:42 PM
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ita, this is why I HATE talking with my girl friends about food, diet, trainers, weight, etc. SUCH a waste of human energy over silliness.
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06.20.08, 03:43 PM
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i'll talk to my good friends about these things. bc in those cases, it is truly for support. we can air our feelings, insecuirites etc and there no negative competition. thankfully, htese days, i don't have many friends with whom I feel strongly competitive or catty.
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06.20.08, 03:45 PM
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06.20.08, 03:36 PM
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like a seizure or an eye roll of disgust
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06.20.08, 03:37 PM
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not a seizure because she still talks , but further up than a typical disgust roll
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06.20.08, 03:41 PM
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i seem to remember someone else i knew had a kid who did the same thing. in that case, it was just a tick.
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06.20.08, 03:40 PM
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people say just a tick, but the whole tick thing has me freaking out
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06.20.08, 03:43 PM
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yeah. definitely. that's what made me remember this story. the mom was freaking out badly bc it looked horrible. take a deep breath. see if dd will take deep breaths with you... adn then you'll go to the doc on Monday.
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06.20.08, 03:46 PM
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if you need to see a neurologist I can recommend Dr. John Wells. We took our dd to see him not too long ago and we thought he was pretty great. Good luck.
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06.20.08, 03:43 PM
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that is, if you are in nyc or nearby
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06.20.08, 03:45 PM
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The fact that she is still talking to you while doing it is a good sign.
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06.20.08, 03:44 PM
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06.20.08, 03:32 PM
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Gifted and talented.
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06.20.08, 03:33 PM
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gifted and talented. public schools are required to have special classes for the kids who fall into this category....the kids are considered special needs. in NYC, people have to test into the classrooms and it gets really insane (especially this year) since parents teach the kids about the test and prep them. believe me, it's good reason to leave NYC!
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06.20.08, 03:34 PM
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yeah... we left with the whole hullabalo of getting dd into pre-school. that is just too much for me.
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06.20.08, 03:34 PM
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Where'd you move to?
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06.20.08, 03:46 PM
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that's a long story. we had been in central america. left and are now back in the US. but only for a short time. i think we're heading to south america soon.
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06.20.08, 03:47 PM
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NY Schools
06.20.08, 03:15 PM
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ITA. Which is why I really am not looking forward to doing this again in 3 yrs for #2. So much of the outcome is luck. This time around, luck was in our favor. What can you do.
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06.20.08, 03:19 PM
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my dc scored a 99 both times. some kids are consistent. some are precocious, and when their peers catch up, they are just average
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06.20.08, 03:22 PM
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OP: I think you missed the point of my post.
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06.20.08, 03:23 PM
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I am saying the score may be accurate, but your kids' peers have caught up. that doesn't mean other kids are not gifted as measured by the test
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06.20.08, 03:33 PM
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np: you totally don't get it.
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06.20.08, 03:34 PM
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^^^also the test is longer and has more difficult questions. it is possible that the dc was not able to perform on the version that goes beyond what prepping can do
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06.20.08, 03:35 PM
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the point is that a test that is relied on by DOE for assessing giftedness and awarding placements in G&T SHOULD NOT produce drastically different results (i.e. beyond the standard range of +-10%) in the same child. OP's kid did not go from being "gifted" to being "average" -- if the test says that there is something wrong with the test.
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06.20.08, 03:44 PM
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NP: this is absolutely right. The main criteria for a successful IQ test is reliability over time. Another criteria is consistency in administration...
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06.20.08, 04:46 PM
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nnp. WRONG again. The results from 1 dc taking the test twice tells you NOTHING about the test's reliabilty/validity. Nothing. WTF is with you people who make these statements when you have no idea what you're talking about? I'm so sick of it.
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06.20.08, 04:50 PM
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Agreed that a single example of a swing would not be evidence of a tests failure, but reliability is a criteria of validity. You're charming, though.
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06.20.08, 04:54 PM
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Reliability doesn't mean there's zero error. There will always be error. And I'm sorry if you're offended by my tone, but I'm really fed up with the level of cluelessness I see here. It wouldn't be so bad if people who don't understand stats and psychometrics simply posted as if they don't understand it. But the way people post as if they're authorities when they have no idea is so aggravating.
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06.20.08, 05:04 PM
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Just because you use the words "stats" and "psychometrics" doesn't prove your point. There are a LOT of specialists in education, cognitive psychology and statisticians who also believe that the randomness of the OLSATs and other measures of intelligence makes them useless and sometimes dangerous.
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06.21.08, 07:10 AM
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dangerous??? LOL!!!!!!!!!!
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06.21.08, 01:33 PM
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nnp. OMG, I get so sick of reading these posts from people who have no idea of what they're talking about. Please. Go take a basic stats class, or better yet, buy yourself a psychometrics 101 textbook and read up. You are absolutely WRONG.
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06.20.08, 04:48 PM
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ITA! I would also add again that developemnt is still at play in 4 yos, which limits the reliability of all these tests, including sb/erbs for a 4 yo
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06.20.08, 06:34 PM
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I can do better. My dc did very well on OLSATs last year but wait-listed for G&T since no spots available. Tested again this year, and BOMBED the test (e.g. got about 1/3 answers right on the non-verbal part). This despite being told by the tester that dc did extremely well, and her teachers saying that dc is the most likely child to get into G&T from the class. I wrote to DOE to review the test, but doubt I will ever hear from them.
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06.20.08, 07:13 PM
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06.20.08, 03:09 PM
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If they want to do surgery I would wait a bit. Both my kids had that, one cleared up after just a few months - one was almost 15 mos.
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06.20.08, 03:27 PM
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I waited, hoping ds' clogged tear duct would claer on its own. Dumb move. He needed to have it prbed under anasthesia at almost age 3. Success rates are better if the probing is done early on.
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06.20.08, 04:07 PM
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