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[ - ] Please tell me if I am totally crazy here: December DD is already at an ongoing preK-8 but we are less than thrilled. Applying out for K. My list is probably unrealistic. Here it is: Brearly, Spence, Chapin, Dalton, HM. Am I dumb? 99 verbal, 98 performance so 98 overall ERB with great write up. Also had 99s on SB and OLSAT….I realize this info is not relevant to the private process but it tells me she is probably bright and a good test taker and should be in a better school. Non-connected. Caucasian family. Interesting jobs (so not typical lawyer/banker types) but certainly not diversity. Am I nuts? Just can’t see taking her out of current school for anything I’m not overwhelmingly in love with. Even though we’re not wild about current school. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 07.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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Since your DD already has a spot, I don't see why you should apply to schools that aren't significantly better than DD's current school. That said, are there schools on your list that are 2nd tier but still better than DD's current school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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not really enought to put DD (and us) through the trauma/hassle of moving schools. Yes I like Riverdale, Nightingale, A few others...but the idea of pulling her for those schools doesn't feel right. The only reason to pull as I see it would be a major TT or free ride at Hunter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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np: is she on waitist at Hunter? or is she not old enough to have applied yet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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Neither...dinged at round 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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Then I think your approach is correct [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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With all that you said, I would go for it. We were in very similar situation (same test scores, interesting careers, not diverse, although coming from a PS to ongoing), did all the schools you said and got into 3. Chose SS because of this particular dd and we are thrilled beyond. The school's rep scared me, but being there is completely the opposite of the rep. You should apply, imo...:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:45 PM Flag
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Wow, really? You got into three from my list? Wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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No, sorry, we got into B, NBS, & S, I thought you had NBS on your list. Took S. Fit dd perfectly. Not sure if it's right for my second dd though- it's a intense school- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 10:11 AM Flag
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You have a good chance as long as you don't need FA. For those schools you need a 95+, good school report, good play date, good interview to be in the running. The only thing I see as a potential problem is that your ongoing may not be so helpful. I'd add a few like NBS, MM & maybe CGPS or ECFS if you are that unhappy with dc's current school. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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Why do you want to change schools? You seem more concerned with status of school than education provided (e.g. Nightingale is not worth changing schools for, but Brearley, Spence and Chapin are?) Has your child tested for this year? If you're not finding the school academic enough in preK, then you really don't understand the educational approach of many independent schools. I doubt you will be happy with K in any school either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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np: I think you are silly. People want TT because they are more prestigious and are just fancier. I am not sure that the education is better, but it is often more rigorous at some point. when we applied, I was most impressed by the process and treatment at the TT schools. they have it down pat. they seem higher quality and fancier. people with very smart kids feel disappointed by the lower tier schools because there is less push for a rigorous curriculum, and that is related to a higher number of more intellectually average students. if you have a smart one, you feel your dc could have done better, and that you are letting him down. hard to explain, really, but it is a common feeling among parents of very smart dcs who ended up at a lower tier school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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OP: I can assure you that "prestige" has nothing to do with this, especially since our whole social circle pretty much revolves around DD's current school. However, the 2nd part of your comment is valid (and I don't know why you said it's hard to explain). DD is doing 1st grade Math workbooks at home, she is reading books on her own for enjoyment and she is a mature and verbal child. They are putting her into a preK class this year that is full of lovely children who do not understand any mathmatical concepts, cannot read, speak like babies and have not yet developed out of the self-centered state...in other words, half the kids in her class don't even understand that human beings have experiences outside of their own. They are still in the primal state of believing that their experience is singular (if a tree falls in the woods,etc.) Perhaps I would feel differently if the school had moved my DD into kindergarten, but that also makes me uncomfortable because then she'd be the youngest. I think what we might really need is to have her in a school w/ other really smart kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 AM Flag
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np: Why do you need tt? What about other great schools like NBS, CSH, ECFS, etc. Have you toured any of the schools? My dd attends Chapin, but I couldn't have known this school would've been a good fit for her without the tour. Brearley and Spence are totally different to me. I saw more similarities in NBS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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Well we're currently in a school like those. It's not like the school is abusing her or ignoring her. I just feel she should be somewhere different. I don't know that a lateral move makes sense. She'll be fine if we stay where we are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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I'm sorry, but what you're saying is absurd. Their isn't a difference in the education received at Chapin, NBS, and CSH. One is considered tt and the other two aren't. If you feel that NBS is a lateral move, then why do you need a school like Chapin? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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^^^Like I said, my dd attends Chapin, btw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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^^There. For all the grammar moms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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OP: Well I coudn't say for sure right now since it's only July, but once I've toured and interviewed and asked all my questions I'll have a clearer picture of which schools are really worth moving my DD out of her current school for. I'll tell you one thing: I'm not moving her unless it is very clear to me that she will be better off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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What is CSH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:33 AM Flag
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Convent of the Sacred Heart [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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OP: We're Jewish and would not consider CSH. I applied for DD to ECFS and pulled the application because I decided it was not right for her. Will look into NBS. Thanks for the suggestion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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np--NBS is Nightingale Bamford School--the same school you dismissed above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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OP: Yes I understand. Where did I dismiss it? I was just saying that I won't pull DD for anything that is not clearly better than what she has now. And then I said I'd look into NBS while looking into the others. But if it's moderately better there's no reason for the uphieval. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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You wrote: "Yes I like Riverdale, Nightingale, A few others...but the idea of pulling her for those schools doesn't feel right. The only reason to pull as I see it would be a major TT or free ride at Hunter." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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Ok you're right. I'll turn in my child at the desk first thing in the morning. I don't know what I was thinking trying to be a parent. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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I'm the responder who doesn't see any difference between NBS, B,S,C,CSH,etc. I think the problem some of us are having with your posts, is that it seems like you search for schools as one would search for a hand bag. You seem to be interested in big names and whatever status that would confer. You haven't seen these schools, yet you've already decided it's tt or bust. When in reality there are schools not considered tt that are equal in the education they provide, and may be a better fit for your dd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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OP: But don't you see? If you weren't hung up on designer names yourself you never would have had that response! I did already see a lot of schools when we were applying to preK. Horace Mann I liked. DD was waitlisted. ECFS I liked but later changed my mind and we pulled her application. I'm open to anything but it has to be better than what we have now, which is fine but not great. I explored Riverdale, pulled the application. Bank street and Calhoun...not interested. NBS I never looked at but will now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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I'm not following your point. How did my response show my affinity for designer names? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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If you are going to be switching schools, you should see the ones that your are interested! You will know where she fits once you go- I saw 11 schools and had to choose the school that was right for my dd, not for me- it was not easy to take my 'wish' for her out of the equation, but I'm glad we did- she's thriving. But I have 2 dd, and I'm not sure the school my 1st dd attends is right for her. So, follow your instincts and go look- it couldn't hurt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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You already have experience at the current school. I'm afraid TTs are TTs for a reason - better peer group (probably matches OP's dd's traits). Scores are good enough. Do apply to TTs, absolutely. At least dd won't be rejected on account of scores. If behaves well, socialized, normal parents, dd will get into one of those. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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I don't understand why everyone is picking on you. This seems like a sound strategy to me. If you are at, say, Town - I think there is little point in applying to schools that would be a lateral move. (I agree with other posters that NBS is probably not a lateral move - it is a wonderful school if you like structure. I loved it for DD - she is going elsewhere but we would have been very happy with NBS.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 08:49 AM Flag
[ - ] MIL and FIL just arrived a few hours ago and have already used about 18 glasses, left damp paper towels hither and yon, asked that I make: one salami sandwich, a scrambled egg, reheat some soup, "do you have some cheese, Dear ?", a lot of cherries, an apple, two vodka tonics, and a bowl of gazpacho. It is going to be a great weekend... 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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Wow, calm down. Surely you can be pleasant for a w'end. And why on your on the computer if they are running you ragged? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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Maybe I forgot to mention that the notice I had was a call from the flight "hi Dear, on the plane. Is it OK that we come by this weekend ?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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To which your reply should have been 'Oh what a shame we are just heading out of town. See ya later' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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Nice try. I was a bit confused, I will admit, as I didn't know they were coming. But here they are ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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NO more compuer... she has asked if I could let her "check some things"... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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good grief. I have a policy in my house that family members serve themselves. I know it comes across as rude to some people, but it is crazy that family thinks that they are going to get waited on hand and foot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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they mean well, but they are exhausting and I am planning for a vacation - leaving next Friday - and have a ton to do and prepare. It's just "more". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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I think it is rude - I wait on my parents & ILs - it is respect. That said, they are able to get themselves breakfast and stuff if I am not up yet as they rise at 5 a.m. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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make the next vodka tonic for yourself and tell them to cook and eat what they want. You are off duty! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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thank you, but it's Shabbat ! Dinner for seven ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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oh geez. Well at the very least DH should help a lot. They are his parents after all! GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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He will. I think I'm just feeling a bit "put upon" by the call from on-board the plane to see if all was well for a weekend visit ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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I don't blame you! I would too. Some people have a lot of nerve! Try to have some fun if you can. Hit them up for childcare and go somewhere alone tomorrow maybe! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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I think I'd like your inlaws -- remind me of my dad (though he'd just want vodka on the rocks). I miss him a lot... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Did your dh give you something the day that you had your baby? My friend keeps going on and on about her husband better give her a "push gift" and I think she sounds annoying. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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I hate that term [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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we called it a "baby Bauble". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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what did you get? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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sapphire and diamond ring with 1st boy, black pearl with sapphire bezel for 2nd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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your dh makes mine look bad :) do you wear them often?? did he decide to do this on his own and pick it out himself or did someone help him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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No. I'm sure yours is good too. he piked out the stone for the first gist and the pearl for the second one and let me plan the rest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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Lucky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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IMO - If the baby isn't enough of a gift it's unfortunate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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the baby is a great gift. the other treats are bonus gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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heehee i agree!!! it is our payment for the last 40 wks ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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LOL!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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I hate that term too. DH and I don't care about stuff like that. DD had to go to the NICU for observation right after birth and it was several hours before I could see her. MIL gave me some earrings but all I could think about was DD and why it was taking them so long to bring her to me. A healthy baby is enough of a puch present for me thanks. (Although I guess since I had a C section, I didn't technically push) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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is dd ok now?? i am sorry you went through that, a healthy baby is a good push gift [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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she is fine now. Thanks for asking. She had to have surgery when she was about 1yo but thank god came through just fine. Puts a little perspective on the topic though ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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yay!! I am glad that she is good now! That must have been so scary... I can't imagine sending my one year old in for surgery. You must be a brave one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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unfirtunately, it's not the hardest thing I have had to do. It's the second hardest. Not fun though and she is now healthy and happy and a normal tantruming 3yo who drives me crazy about half the time! LOL! Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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he went and got me food.i think "push presents" are ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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No a "push" present per se because we adopted. But when DS came home DH gave me a pendant w/ his birthstone. Same thing when DD was born. He has also given some other pieces of jewelry that relate to the kids (earrings to match the necklace, initial necklace). They mean an awful lot to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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oh that is so sweet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:55 PM Flag
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he gave me pearl earrings, her birthstone. never used the term push present/gift, which is revolting. it was very unlike him to do and i thought it was very sweet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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I agree that the term is disgusting but so sweet of a dh to think of a thoughtful gift to mark the very special day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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that is ridiculous. i've never heard that before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:03 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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I WANT THIS!!!! do you put all the dc initials on one necklace or just have a necklace for each? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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I have 2 DC and 2 alphabet charms and I wear them together on one chain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:11 PM Flag
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this is so cute! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:13 PM Flag
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I like them! I wasn't sure at first, but now I really like it (and it has sentimental value, too, of course). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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yes a diamond bracelt which I love and do not call a push gift. People get so sensitive. I think it's nioe to get something for yourself after pretty much changing your entire life for 40 wks. No shushim all the wt gain. That said it does not have to be diamonds I would be happy with new pajamas or a CD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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how about calling it a "getting fat, stretch marks and hemorrhoids for a better cause" gift? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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snort! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:11 PM Flag
[ - ] So annoyed. Confided in my friend about something. Told her not to tell anyone. She told her DH - which might be fine for some couples but she KNOWS her DH has a big mouth. He has a history of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. He told other people. And when I said something to her about him spilling the beans she got all defensive with me. Saying that she doesn't keep secrets from her DH. Guess I learned my lesson but it's a shame that I can't ever confide in her again. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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I agree with her. Never expect someone not to tell dh, especially if you didn't say not to tell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Well, considering she bitches to me all the time about what a big mouth her dh has, I guess I thought if I told her something went no further than the two of us, she wouldn't tell her dh. It's not like she doesn't know he has a big mouth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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good point, but she obviously hasn't learned her lesson if she still has reasons to bitch about this. I'm sorry that she's not a great friend though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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what was the nature of the information? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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medical. nothing too serious but on the embarrassing side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:13 PM Flag
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OP: here's the thing. unless you are concerned for someone or needing to vent about something, i don't think you need to tell your dh everything. basically, my friend gossiped to her dh about a medical thing in my past coming back to haunt me. telling him did nothing but spread gossip which he spread to others. i don't tell my dh anything he doesn't HAVE to know if someone asks me to keep it confidential. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:15 PM Flag
[ - ] did you have a triple screen test done when you were pregnant and did you get a false positive? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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I did not do that one because of the high rate of false positives [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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did you do any others? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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^^^wondering because my doctor wants to know at my next appointment if I want to do one. He said that if it is positive they will do an amnio to make sure. I have no clue what to do... especially because if it is positive I think I will worry too much even thought it may be false you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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I know. We decided not to do any invasive testing - no amnio, no CVS etc. b/c we would not abort for any reason. They did a level 2 ultrasound at some point since I was over 40. DD is fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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We wouldn't abort either so I don't think it is necessary... but my dh says he is sure everything is fine but would feel relieved to know for sure. I don't think I am going to do it though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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well the risk of mc is small for amnio. We just didn't want to take even that small risk. We were told we would not be able to get pg (less than 1% chance) and so when we did, we just hoped it was meant to be! GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
[ - ] where to find cute, inexpensive maternity clothes? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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where are you located? Online try old navy, gap, Ann Taylor Loft, all have maternity web sites [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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oooo I didn't know Ann Taylor Loft had maternity clothes! going to their site right now!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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target [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you think birth control has anything to do with people having trouble getting pregnant? (I took it for 3 years and it took me 2 years afterwards to get pg, same with a friend of mine) 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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I took it for 10yrs and was pg 2months after going off it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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It does have an effect on some women. Not all, but it's not a small minority either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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you're supposed to stop using the birth control when you want to get pg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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i know! i meant I got off of it and had to try for 2 years before we got pg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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I'm pretty sure that it took 6 months for my body to really go back to "normal" after bc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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My ob told me you are extra-fertile immediately after going off bc. don't know if it's true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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Not for me. I took the pill for approx. 6 years and I waited two months (doctor recommended that) and got pregnant on my first try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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not for me..i was on pill for 10 years and only went off to get pg with my 3 dcs and right back on after. got pg 1st time, each of 3 times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 06:05 PM Flag
[ - ] 5mo started on oatmeal cereal and hates it. Thinking about starting with sweet potatoes or apple sauce, but should I wait until six months? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Newborn 07.11.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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nah. sweet potatoes now is fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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Good, they're on the menu tonight anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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i thought you were supposed to start with rice cereal, esp before 6 mo? at least that's what our ped told us [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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oats are fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:20 PM Flag
[ - ] How often is your DH alone with your kids? Mine has done one evening and one overnight business trip that I took in five months since #2 came along. I can't keep count of how many days/nights/entire weekends I've done this. He does not understand at all how hard it is to manage an infant and a toddler at the same time. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Newborn 07.11.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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at least every sunday morning, and usually parts of the weekend beyond that; some mornings i leave first and he hangs with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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almost never, I'm always alone with my 3y old and 14 months old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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any tricks for managing? I'm totally failing at this and 2yo is getting even more jealous and needy as the months tick on. Bedtime tonight is going to be ferocious. I'm sitting here delaying going to pick them up from daycare because I dread it so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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Try putting the baby to bed while the toddler is in front of T.V. it doesn't have to be perfect just get through it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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I have meetings or choir practice, book club etc at least once a week and he keeps her whenever I need to go do something on the weekends. I left her with him for a weekend once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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Saturday is Daddy's day and he is in charge. During the week he travels often and has many late nights, but this works for us as I cna look forward to the break and look forward to time together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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A lot! :) (But I also spend plenty of time alone with them.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:12 PM Flag
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Saturday at least 1/2 the day. Sometimes in the evening I got out w/ girlfriends and he's with them. But he works a lot and travels, so usually I'm the one with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:14 PM Flag
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my dh has been alone with my kids exactly two weekends of his life - if you're talking about overnights. he has no prob having them on random nights or for a few hours on the weekends. but i've only been gone overnight twice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:18 PM Flag
[ - ] what do the fit people on this board do for exercise and what are your typical meals like? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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I run 4 or 5 times a week (somewhere between 3 and 5 miles each time) I also do soem toning exercises - ab work and arms (weights)a few times a week. I eat what I want but try to stay away from processed foods as much as possible. I seem to have lost my taste for them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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do you use a treadmill? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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no. Can't afford one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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do you go to a gym or just outside? and also have you always run?? if not, how long did it take you to get up to 3-5 miles? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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I started running when I was about 30. Then I stopped for a few years. When DD was 2.5 (last summer) I started again. At first I could only run about 5 minutes before I had to stop and walk. Last week I ran a 10k! I just run outside. Can't afford a gym right now. SAH and feeling the lack of income! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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CONGRATS on your 10k!!! SAHM too and can't afford gym either. You are my new inspiration... I can barely run for 3 minutes without feeling like I am going to die. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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LOL! You just have to keep at it. It gets easier. You can google couch to 10K if you want a system to help you. I just always go out and run til I can't run anymore. Get good shoes too! GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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after having dd did you lose the weight quickly by running? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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yeah but I was pretty strict about diet for the first few weeks. Now I eat what I want and maintain. To lose though, I had to work at it. I am 45 though. It gets harder as you get older! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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ok just a few more questions... did you nurse your baby? if you did was it hard to keep the strict diet, run and keep your milk supply up? I want my old body back, but I also don't want my milk supply to go away. Also what kind of running shoes do you have? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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I did nurse and she was weaned before I started running again. I just didn't have the energy while nursing. Might have something to do with age there too. I started trying to run right after I weaned her, but found out I had a thyroid issue. Started taking synthroid and felt like my old self and dropped the weight. I currently have Brooks shoes (the hot pink ones called burn - love 'em!) Just try on many pairs and run around the store til something feels right. I have had all dif brands over the years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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when did you wean her? by the way, can you tell that this is my first time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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LOL! no problem! I weaned her arround 15 months I think. I started really working out and running when she was 2.5 ish. I think it's been about a year now. Last summer was when I started running again. Really feels good. I can go out in the yard and run around with DD and keep up with her now! I couldn't do that last year. And she is only getting faster! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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I was going to try to shoot for weaning around that time too! 12-18 months, or whenever the timing feels right. If you don't mind me asking did you gain a lot when you were pregnant with dd? I feel like I am gaining so much and won't ever be able to lose it! Oh and when you run do you take dd in a stroller? any good recommendations for a good jogging stroller? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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I did not gain much when I was pg (25 pounds I think) but I held onto the last 12 or 15 til last year when I got sick of it. You will lose it but it takes time. It's different than regular wt gain (or was for me anyway) I do have a jogging stroller - a Schwin - but I don't use it much since we live in a sketchy nabe. Feels kind of vulnerable. It's hard to take apart or I would take it somewhere else. Don't know much about them. Just ask around and see what people like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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^^and one thing I will tell you is that id you run with a stroller, you will feel invincible when you run alone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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I can't wait till I can start running for more than 5 minutes!!! I will feel invincible if I can get up to a mile without falling on my butt :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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LOL! Check out the couch to 10K site......or maybe it's couch to 5K. Hm...... Just don't give up. If you have a bad day, just walk and try again in a day or 2! If I can do it, you can too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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I will definitely check that site out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:12 PM Flag
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thanks so much for all the advice! I am just going to need to be patient I guess with the whole weight thing! I just looked up the Brooks shoes and they all look great! Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:03 PM Flag
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My situation is similar-- but I didn't start running til I was 37 after baby #2. It took me a good few months to get to 3 miles, but I signed up for a 5K, and that helped me get there. I don't eat great. Running did not help me lose weight at all. Only dieting worked (I did WW). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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ashtanga yoga 3 -5 times a week. If I cannot make the classes I'll do 30 minutes on a treadmill, but I hate every minute of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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what is ashtanga yoga? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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a very vigorous type of yoga that is super aerobic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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you are me! i hate treadmills! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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I resent them and think they are torturous devices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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LOL!!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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I run 2-3 times/week and go to a toning/full body workout class 1-2 times/week. I eat mostly healthy food -- oatmeal or a VitaTop muffin for breakfast, salad for lunch, chicken for dinner, and lots of low calorie snacks during the day (I'm a snacker!). I have a sweet tooth and eat cookies and cupcakes and frozen yogurt a lot. I used to be heavy (from my teens-20s) and do pay a lot of attention to what I eat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:09 PM Flag
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were you heavy before you had db? i gained some weight before i got pg and am now worried i won't get the baby weight off PLUS the unnecessary weight that was there to begin with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:12 PM Flag
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Not before #1 (I was the thinnest and most fit that I've ever been) -- but I didn't lose all of the PG weight (and I didn't tone to the same degree) before having #2. It took me a long time to lose the weight from that PG (plus the leftover weight from #1) -- but I also had a lot of things happening IRL that stopped me from working on it (and, in some instances, made me eat to relieve stress). I'm fit and look good (in clothes at least!) -- but DC are now 6 and 4! You can do it...GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:15 PM Flag
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thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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^^^ Also, I've found that I can exercise and still be fat -- for me, it's food that causes me to gain or lose weight (if I eat horribly, I gain weight -- if I eat well, I lose). Exercise helps me maintain and keeps me toned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:18 PM Flag
[ - ] nanny needs advice: left family for new job. they were not very nice: no bonuses...didn't talk much .50 raises-couldn't afford $1 & then bought a hosue & car. i am sitting for them 1 last time next week & want to tell them how i feel about how they treated me. i don't need them as a ref. i mean they gave me NOTHING after 3 years of p/t perfect (no sick/late) service. i have 7 yrs, college grad, native nyrkr. they have no clue how angry/hurt i feel. how should go about this? i want them to know how i feel. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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I wouldn't sit for them. didn't you post about this? cancel it and let it go. they aren't worth your time or energy to think about. being zen and moving on is the best revenge. it isn't easy, but so not worth your time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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i did, yes. & i did cancel, but i gotta give this boy his b-day stuff & i'm really trying hard to move on UGH..it's killing me if i don't say something because then i think they think it was okay to treat me that way...but i do get what you're saying...i gotta stop thinking about it. thanks.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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why are you still giving him a b-day present? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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because i am a professional, i love him & it isn't his fault his parents are a__holes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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You sound like a really sweet person. I wish I knew you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 10:17 PM Flag
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np well, it's not the kid's fault his parents are jerks. Be sweet to him and let it go. Be the bigger person. ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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I know it's not his fault, but I think it would be better for him to let you go. It's hard enough to loose a nanny you had for 3 years, no point in dragging it out, especially if you really don't want contact with the parents in the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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itttttta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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mail the gifts or drop them off. or don't even send them. I know it is a kid and all, but you seriously owe them nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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I agree with the others just move on. Saying something won't change anything at this stage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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Why shouldn't she unload on her employers. I say bring it on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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if they are this bad, and she is so upset, it isn't bound to make her feel better. too much emotion tied up to have fruitful confrontation. she can however write a letter to vent then burn it or something very symbolic of ending relationship [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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now that is a good idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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np well she could. But what good would it do? They most likely won't change. She would get all worked up about it and still feel unresolved and you never know if you might someday need them for a ref for some reason. No sense in burning bridges IMHO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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How much did they pay you? There are so many employers/jobs out there where raises are rather an exception than the norm. Besides the money how are they treating you? How are the kids? If you are unhappy with your current position just look for a new one, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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It's your own fault for not saying anything sooner and for staying on for so long. At this point, what's done is done. No sense in burning the bridge now after 3 years of working for them. You never know how your new job will turn out. You could be job hunting 3 mos from now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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Nanny here - I say go ahead and confron them , you have nothing to lose (if this is affecting you so much)- , be very calm and rational but let them know exactly how you feel, you could start by telling them exactly what you told us - come on confront them- (people usually hate confrontation, it will make you feel better) - and also make it better for their next Nanny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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You all are nuts. There's no reason to say a word at this point. They may think she's a shining star, and by saying something you end up losing someone that was in your corner. Honestly, it's totally your fault. You couldn't have just found out they were jerks. You've been dealing with it all along. JUST LET IT GO! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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you are the one that's NUTS, everyone is entitled to their opinion and mine is CONFRONT CONFRONT CONFRONT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 04:56 PM Flag
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I'm very curious as to how many of the responders are employers of nannies. Honestly, I agree that OP should just send bday gift in mail, or not bother sending it all, but I also see nothing wrong with her stating her feelings. Sometimes one puts up with poor treatment because it's their jobs, or they have an odd sense of loyalty and justify putting up with that treatment as being loyal. To say this is OP's fault is a bit harsh and puts no responsibility on the employers. Yes, they made it easier for them to get away with the shabby treatment, but that doesn't mean it's okay. They should have some sort of compass as to how to treat people. Do either of them work for 7 years without a raise? I mean, come on! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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I employ software engineers. I only give raises when people increase their responsibilities. The more value you bring to the company, the more you get paid. If you keep doing the same job, you keep getting the same salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 10:19 PM Flag
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Tell them! I had two families just like this and I didn't need them as references. The main difference is that I didn't want to bitch them out for how they treated me as much as their own children. Either way, I have always regretted it! Tell them when you know you will have absolutely no contact with them from there on out. Don't get too angry or hysterical though; you will seem like the crazy one. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] do terrible 2's start at 19 mos? seriously, my dc has had the WORST temper tantrums this week. I am exhausted. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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Yes they certainly do - GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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wait until she's 3 and than all this will be nothing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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np. I've heard this a few times signes scared mom of 2.5yo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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Going through it right now too with 19 mo. And it's soooo much worse when she is not well rested. I'm just wondering when it starts getting better... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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if it's any consolation, a friend and I have a theory that for bright dc, terrible 2's start at 18 mos and are mostly over by 2/2.5. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:49 PM Flag
[ - ] what have you accomplished today? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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not a whole lot. a few loads on laundry. washed the carseats & car. cleaned out a cabinet that desperately needed it. went to the grocery for a few things we need for the w/e. lazy friday... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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that would be a big day for me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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being snarky on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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Not loosing it completely with my toddler which is a huge accomplishment for me recently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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shopping online for cute shoes :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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laundry and I didn't kill DH who is home from work sick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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got both kids out the door to camp with their lunches. and then somehow have been on conf calls for almsot the entire day, so of course acomplished nothing more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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not a damn thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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laundry, grocery, played with my 2 y.o. a LOT (older sibs are gone so this is not the norm,) cleaned a bathroom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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Cooked breakfast, unloaded dishwasher, packed two lunches, put ribs in to marinate for dinner, one kid to camp, DD to the park for 3 hours, picked up DS at camp, took kids to the book store & candy store, played Rush House w/ DS. Now he's building a fort & I'm relaxing before I do some more wash & more dinner prep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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i let loose the most satisfying, smelly fart i've had in weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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Had a great day at work...for the first time in a long time! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:03 PM Flag
[ - ] My personal prayer: G-d, never let me behave as poorly as my Mother in Law. Give me the strength not to stoop to her level. And let me live long enough to inherit all her money. Amen. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.11.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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tee-hee, that's my prayer too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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looks like you have already stooped... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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Oh, no. There's a HUGE difference between mere musings and divisive, thoughtless and cruel words and actions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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I bet her mil wouldn't be so graceful as to post on an anonymous board. Instead it would be broadcast to the whole family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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EXACTLY and it IS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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and, yet, no qualms about taking her money, nice... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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It's being given, not taken. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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And trust me - for what I have to put up with I have earned it!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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Watch out. MIL may well leave it just to DH and/or grandkids just to spite you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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Of course she will. She owes me nothing. She is leaving everything to her kids...hopefully DH and I will still be together than and can retire! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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horrid, not funny at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Um - you don't know my husband's family. You would feel the same, hon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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By bashing her, you are stooping to her so-called level. I hav relatives I like and those I don't care too much for, but I don't make a big thing of it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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I love your post and I understand your sentiments. But I can't help feeling that's one reason she's so difficult. Imagine if you had a sneaking suspicion people only put up with you for your money. Even if you knew you were a bitch, that would eat at you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Plus, why can't OP go earn her own money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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OR I'm sure she does. I think most of the ORs on this post are taking this whole post too seriously. We all get really steamed at people from time to time and this is a safe place to vent those emotions. Well...safe if the rest of us try to come at a post with compassion first on our minds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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I think that venting promotes more venting. I find MIL jokes really cheesy. I don't need to bash someone to bond with others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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AMEN! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 07:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else here find it ironic how so many people complain about the new generation coming into the workforce and how they won't work, are entitled, etc. when it seems that so few parents here are actually disciplining their own children? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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yes, very [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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I thought I was the only one here that really appreciated the irony;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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why do you assume people here aren't disciplining? a lto fo the questions are about more effective means to do it, clearly people want to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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most of these posts show how little they are doing though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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example? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:18 PM Flag
[ - ] If I have a bunch of petunias that are really thriving, can I take some of it and plant it in a different pot? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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i probably wouldn't move them. but if you do, be sure to water and fertilize REALLY well when you replant them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:46 PM Flag
[ - ] holy smokes, i can't believe i just paid $125 plus tip for a haircut. dh would DIE 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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how does it look...any different from Supercuts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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it looks great right now. but i'm sure when i have to style it myself, it'll look worse than before! i had no idea it was gonna cost so much. i almost fell out when they told me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:42 PM Flag
[ - ] first time home buyer and interested in a home in Northern NJ with $15K in annual taxes. Is there anything that can be done to get a tax rebate or to reduce taxes somehow? doubt it, but just thought I'd ask for ideas... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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Curious why you think you should get a break? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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well, the interest on the home will help to offset some of your tax liability [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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income tax liability, that is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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unless you qualify for AMT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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we qualify for AMT and somehow, it still helped us. i don't really understand how/why, as i'm certainly no accountant. but if we hadn't bought a house, we would have been eaten alive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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