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[ - ] what's an appropriate cash gift for our nanny's birthday? she's been with us 2 years, full time. thx! 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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300 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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thanks. how did you come up with this amount? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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dunno, just seemed like a nice gift for a full time quasi family member and it would make her feel appreciated. You could go less or even just do a day at the spa thing for about 1/2 that but if you trust her with your most precious why not splurge a little [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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i got mine a $20 necklace from target that she loved and wears only to church. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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you are cheap. A $20 necklace, I'd secretly bitch about you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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ummmmmmm no i'm actually not cheap. we had a cake and she really appreciated the sentimentality of the necklace. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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so she told you. Who are you kidding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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whatever. sorry we all don't have $300 to throw at our nanny for her b-day. get over yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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let me get this straight. You can afford a nanny but you get her a $20 necklace from Target. you are a cheap Bas$%^d [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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watch your kids piggy banks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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Ok Ebenezer, you keep thinking that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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sorry thought you were the $20 necklace poster [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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Many of my friends give phone cards to their nannies as a present. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:46 PM Flag
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np - Do most people give their nanny a few hundred dollars as a birthday present? Wow! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:42 PM Flag
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It all depends on the situation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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Sounds like a lot, but $20 doesn't sound like enough. I'd say $100 is good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:46 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:47 PM Flag
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np-Shrug... I give my nanny her b-day off with pay, $50 and a gift from dc, which is a way more than I get from my employer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 09:03 PM Flag
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and that is a nice gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 09:04 PM Flag
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That sounds good to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have an emotionally abusive dh, who you do not want to leave because of the kids...how do you cope? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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Leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:47 PM Flag
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what do you want to hear? Seriously, let it out. Tell us what you want to do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:48 PM Flag
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I do. I don't know how bad your situation is, but I take antidepressants & try not to let him rile me. I constantly consider divorce, but for many reasons would like to ride it out (financial & b/c I know he would suck as a dad on his visitation times). My parents divorced & I always wished my mother had protected us from having to spend weekends with a depressed father who didn't know what to do with 2 little kids. About once a month we have a huge fight & I feel like I have to go, but then it kind of blows over. My solution for know is focus on kids, my health, & making my career as strong as it can be so I can have some economic power. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 10:44 PM Flag
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So you wished your mom had suffered all of her life so you didn't have to have crappy weekends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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More complex. In that case, little thought was given to how post-divorce arrangements would affect kids. My mother was actually pretty self-centered & consumed w/ her new life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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You leave before he teaches your dc to be abusers and before you teach them that it is OK to be abused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 10:45 PM Flag
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If he emotionally abuses your children, you have to leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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But chances are that he will have joint custody anyway. Op, is he at all aware of his behaviour? would he go to therapy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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If you are not happy, then your kids are not happy. You can't fake it, they will notice it. It is better being happy on your own, instead of miserable together. It is not always best for the kids to stay married in my opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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leave! never stay in a relationship for the the kids. I thanked god when my parents finally got a divorce, it was hell living with the two of them together! It's awful to live amongst such tension as a child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 08:44 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm starting to feel for another man besides dh. He's an old friend from college. Far away but it makes me feel special 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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sadly this probably happens all the time to people, especially tired parents. can you reconnect with dh, spend some quality time together, reignite that a little bit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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That's some crazy advice. You know that OP should leave her husband for this man, asap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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of course; LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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what are your thoughts on dhs who emotionally abandon their spouses? What do you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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tried repeatedly to talk about it. He has become my brother. No physical attraction [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have an emotionally abusive dh, who you do not want to leave because of the kids...how do you cope? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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Im kinda in that situation. DH doesn't want to have sexual realations with me. Only few and far between. I don't think i would leave him but I feel distant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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How do you manage the day to day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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work helps,and I try to concentrate on looking and feeling as healthy as possible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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I m trying to do the same. But some days are really tough -- and there is a constant feeling of tension like I am walking on eggshells. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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yoga and the gym if you can. ub when he's asleep lol. U are not alone. Give you dc a million kisses a day. That always makes me feel better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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I want to go to counseling but I don't want to tell him for what [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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Its a tough call. I try to envision myself with out him. I plan. Where would I be, how would I (we) dd and me survive. I'm a bit trapped [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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i am probably totally clueless here, but have you talked to him about this?i'm guessing he wasn't always like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:23 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I decided (well, he decided/realized) that we're not ready to start TTC. He has been pushing for a while, and has said that he absolutely wants to be a father within 2 years. Now he says "we're not ready" and we have things we need to work on, but I'm afraid he will resent me because I'm the one who first said I didn't think we are ready... anyone BTDT? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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sounds like cold feet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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which of us? My side - we are newly married, young, dealing with work and ill parents - not the time for us to have a db yet. He has "babylust" and keeps saying he wants one - but this weekend we had a serious talk/fight about it, I told him that I think we're not ready for those reasons, which he'd never considered. Then he said "I can see we're not ready and we have things we need to work on" - but I'm afraid he'll resent me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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maybe it's me but you aren't making much sense. regardless, my thoughts are that it'll never be a perfect time to have a child. just do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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how does that not make sense? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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i'm just not following you. i think it's me. i'm tired. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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Why would he resent you? He's not ready now, you weren't before. It happens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.05.08, 07:17 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a sick fascination with John & Kate Plus 8... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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Talk about the complete opposite of the Jolie/Pitt household. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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seriously. I mean, they clearly have some $$, but actually seem pretty decent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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I mean the structure of J&K+8 versus the completely unstructured Jolie/Pitt household [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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yes, they're very structured. I don't know anything about Jolie/Pitts though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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me too. and i don't even have cable :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:07 PM Flag
[ - ] have you or do you know anyone that has had carpal tunnel hand surgery? was the surgery a success? how long did it really take to heal? any other info. would be helpful. tia. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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I heard it was very painful. I don't know however the crucial info as to whether or not it solved the problem ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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It wasn't painful whatsoever. The surgery took about twelve minutes, and before I knew what hit me, the nurses were trying to rouse me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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I had surgery on each hand, though not at the same time. The surgery, while successful, came too long after the onset of my symptoms to expect a full recovery. I can't remember how long it to heal completely. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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OP: did you procrastinate with the surgery? i am wondering if i hold off if i am doing more harm to myself. i am just wondering how i am going to take care of our toddler. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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I have the SAME problem. It came on when I was pregnant. The doctors said it would go away but here I am a year later & it still hurts all night. I don't know what to do. I heard the operation might not even do anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:56 PM Flag
[ - ] dying 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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For..,.? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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from ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:02 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone throw a hugely successful b-day party for dd turning 6 in their home? what made it great? tia! 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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In my experience, great parties are fun parties, not expensive ones. Make-your-own anything is a hit (pizzas, decorating cupcakes, cookies, party hats, tote bags, hand puppets, whatever), as are physical activities like skating, bowling, going to an amusement park, water park, swimming pool. Just let them be themselves, feed them good food, play games, and that's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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yep. i agree. but now i have to figure out what to have them do. dd wants a pizza party. but i need a maybe 2 activities...or one face painter and one activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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I threw a great party for 6 year ds in my apt. It was a pirate party. We had them wear pirate bandanas, had a hunt for pirate gold, and other pirate themed activities. They had a great time. And, we did make your own pizza. Buy the dough from the local pizza place, and each child can choose what they want on their pizza. And make your own sundaes with lots of good. Cost about $200, tops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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how does the pizza thing work? they all make their own pies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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You make mini pies - child size, and they put on the sauce they want and cheese, other toppings. It was only 6 kids, not parents, so manageable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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and you did the sundaes AND cake? what were the toppings choice? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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I don't think we had cake - I think we did candles on the ice cream. And we sprinkles, fluff, hot fudge, m&Ms, chocolate chips, a few ice cream flavors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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i love the pizza idea, but the oven heats our space. so i'm thinking maybe the ice cream...but seems strange to not have cake. but. both would be sugar overload. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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You can buy a big gallon of ice cream and write with frosting on the top of the ice cream and put candles in. Then scoop up the ice cream. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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wow. how great. so creative. tell me more about the party? did you decorate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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Also, the kids like to roll out the dough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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how many kids? were parents invited? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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I think you can rent pinball machines, basketball thing, inflatable stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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white t-shirts and color markers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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we rented a kid sized table and had a fancy tea party, had a face painter, and balloon maker and played a few games. old fashioned, but girls loved tea party part [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Have one terrific DS who is 7 and suddenly (when the pangs have been coming in for a few years) really, really want one more. I'm 41. Have been thinking about fertility treatments in the fall but the post below about risks with IVF got me thinking. Should I just be thankful for the DS I already have? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 08.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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I felt that way for weeks. Today we got a puppy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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Do you have fertility problems? Have you been trying? I had my first at 40 with no problem but had 4 mcs after. Took me two years of trying, a lot of money, and no luck with RE treatments but then I suddenly got pregnant naturally at 43, so you never know. I'm glad we have two now. I say go for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:45 PM Flag
[ - ] This is so pathetic... dh is out of town, and our poor dog has been sitting in front of the elevator all night whimpering, waiting for dh to come home. Poor guy!!!!!!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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do you have an elevator door in your apartment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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yes- elevator opens into our apartment (only with a special key of course!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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^^ this is after he tried to sneak into dh's suitcase this morning as he was packing! Our dog is so co-dependent (and yes, he LOVES me too, but he is happiest when we're both home) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Had an emotional affair a year ago. Truly I don't think about him or it much, but at times I do. Was thinking about him tonight, and still miss him during these weird moments. You would think one year post that I would barely remember this guys name. Hope this goeas away soon. Any advice? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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i'm with you. It hasn't gone away and I doubt it will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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you had an emotional affair too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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I just have feelings for someone who I can never be with, would never be with, could never be with me. I am very happily married but still think about the other man and actually "crave" him, but can do nothing about it and try to ignore my feelings / thoughts as they are counterproductive... yet here they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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did he feel the same for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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yes... similar situation though and an impossibility. Sometimes I think that the thoughts make life more difficult and sometimes I am thankful for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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Yeah, don't e-mail him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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no - i will not ever contact him again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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Good idea. Look, if it haunts you, it haunts you. Just before I met dh, I feel truly and madly in love with someone. The real thing. Except he was very clear about the fact that we couldn't have a relationship because he was moving to Germany permanently that same summer. I was totally, utterly heartbroken, and continued (until recently, when I realized I couldn't remember his last name!) to think about him, fantasize about him, wonder what might've been. All this, mind you, while being in love with and marrying my husband. The other guy was an abstraction, and he eventually faded, eight years later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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hope it will be sooner than 8 years --- I get annoyed when I think about him still. Usually try to push thought of him away. Damm wish I would have never met the guy. Life would be easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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Eh, look at it this way. If you like the person you are now, every experience you have had that led you to this moment has value. Don't wish him away, just don't give him so much importance. Forcing him out of your mind isn't really doing so. Say "hey, thought, nice to see you, now on to something else." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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Yes. As my yoga teacher says, "Acknowledge the thought and let it go." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:07 PM Flag
[ - ] An eccentric older relative who has a TON of stuff (antiques, jewelry, tchotchkes, porcelain, enough to fill 20 gift shops and a museum) just gave me a necklace/ring/earring set. The setting looks like gold plate, but there are a lot of very pretty triangular Tanzanites in it. Thinking of taking it apart it and having the Tanzanites set into a new piece of jewelry (or, gasp, selling the stones). This jewelry clearly had no sentimental value to her ("oh, just take it, I never wear it" etc.) Tacky of me, or sensible? The jewelry is totally not my style, very '80s Linda Evans on Dynasty. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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I wouldn't take it apart. Are Tanzanites that valuable? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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I don't know if they're that valuable or not. I guess I should take it to a jeweler. I imagine they're in the league of amythest and topaz, etc. Pretty, but not shockingly expensive. These stones are very nice looking, hence my interest in salvaging them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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sensible but i'd wait at least a year from when she gave it to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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will she notice or care if you get rid of it ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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She'd probably put on a show of caring if she had the slightest idea, but she lives in Canada and I live in the U.S. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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it may be more trouble than it's worth. If you reset them to something you like at least you'd never have to worry about her getting upset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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True, but I think this jewelry is kind of more trouble than it's worth: A gift that has little meaning to giver or recipient, and enough value to make giving it away feel strange, but selling it feel worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 08:01 PM Flag
[ - ] My almost 10mo can only crawl backwards. Actually, it's more like sliding backwards. He gets so frustrated. It's kind of funny, but should I be concerned? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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Absolutely not. Totally normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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No. He's still well within the normal range for crawling. Don't worry at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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