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[ - ] does anyone know how they normalize the OLSAT for age. ds born in October - is there any benefit of taking the OLSAT in march vs. february? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 01.23.09, 05:12 AM Flag
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AFAIK it is normalized within bands of three months. So, no, Feb or Mar will not make a difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:15 AM Flag
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AFAIK? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:26 AM Flag
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As Far As I Know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:34 AM Flag
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It's normed in 3-month bands, as the first OR says. But that means 3-month bands based on the dc's age at the time of taking the test, NOT 3-month bands based on the calendar. So if dc's bday is in October, March would be better than February, because he'd be a month older and - theoretically - a month more mature, smarter, etc. compared to the normative group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:39 AM Flag
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I don't get this. Kids are compared to other kids born in the same 3 month block. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:11 AM Flag
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No. It's not simply a matter of dc with bdays in January-March being compared to a normative group of dc with January-March bdays. The 3-month bands are dependent on the dc's age at the time when they take the test. So if a dc with an October 5th bday takes the test on March 1st and another dc with the same October 5th bday takes the test on October 6th, they're not going to be compared against the same 3-month normative group. They have the same bday, but they're not the same age when they took the test; at the time of testing the first dc would be nearly 5 months older than the second dc. Get it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:22 AM Flag
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^ Sorry if I'm not being clear. But in other words, the 3-month normative bands are AGE based, not based on the birth month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:24 AM Flag
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Are you sure? I thought it was based on the kids' birthday, not age, when they took the test - i.e. if kid with a September 1 birthday took the test on Dec. 30, they would be only 4.3, but in the Jul-Sep age group. Am I wrong? Would they instead be compared against kids ages 4.0-4.3? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:24 AM Flag
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I'm sure. Think about it. They can't have the bands based on the calendar, because dc take the test at different times throughout the year. The dc's bday only matters insofar as it determines their age at the time of taking the test. Has your dc tested yet? If so, look at the report and check out the fact that dc's exact age - to the day - is noted prominently at the beginning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:40 PM Flag
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How could 1 month make a difference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:30 AM Flag
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one month makes a difference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:16 PM Flag
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one month CAN make a difference. But I wouldn't count on one month making a substantial difference in score. Bigger influence is simply the kids' mood on test day, how much sleep he or she has gotten in the week prior, what he or she ate for breakfast, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:24 PM Flag
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in general I totally agree. I have another son that is a December kid and I have noticed the difference between him and early/jan kids. nothing to do with aptitude but confidence and experience. he is at hunter but often wonder if i should have kept him back for a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:35 PM Flag
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well, you couldn't have sent him to hunter if you did. everything will even out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 03:53 PM Flag
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np. Exactly. It's completely unpredictable. For all OP knows, dc might hit a regressive phase and perform WORSE if she waits a month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 04:58 PM Flag
[ - ] have a 19 mo old dd (born early june) and just found out preg. with #2, probably due in Sept. PLEASE tell me benefits of a sept. baby b/c right now i am miserable thinking i will be pregnant over the summer and annoyed dd will only be 28 months (unplanned preg, was planning on waiting anther 6 months or so). 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:08 AM Flag
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I have 2 boys born exactly 2 years apart in Sept. Was pregnant through the hottest summers with both of them. They are now teens who are best friends and neither was red-shirted for school but are doing extremely well. It is difficult from for about 4 years in the beginning but everything after that comes together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:13 AM Flag
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6 mths or so wasnt going to make much of a difference anyway...it's going to be hard in the very beginning but by the time #2 is getting more active and busy they'll love playing together.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:16 AM Flag
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I had a june baby and a sept. one. Honestly I loved having a fall baby. The weather was beautiful to be outside for a few months. Also, I preferred summer maternity clothes - I could get away with buying much less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:33 AM Flag
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Much easier to be pg in summer, don't have to worry about getting a coat around your belly, slipping on the ice, etc. Just stay in A/C as much as possible and you will be fine. Our dds are 26 months apart -- we had planned for 3 years, but mil was very ill and decided to try for one before she died (sadly, wasn't in time, but she was happy to know one was on the way). It is a fantastic age interval. They share many interests, and are great companions to each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:52 AM Flag
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Perfect for inexpensive, fun birthday parties in the park!! I have 1 sept dc and 1 jan dc and the sept birthday was so much easier when dealing with the birthday party years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:02 AM Flag
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your kid gets to be oldest if you choose private school -- very empowering for the kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:38 AM Flag
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i had an unplanned oct baby so here are the positives - summer maternity clothes are MUCH easier esp little dresses and you can get away with flip flops so no problems w shoes not fitting; going to the pool is something you can do and it takes all the weight off your belly and joints; pregnancy looks better w a little bit of a tan rather than pasty winter skin. Pretty much the rest isn't so great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:42 AM Flag
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It is all about perspective. I've been trying to get pregnant through IVF now for some time. I would be over the moon and willing to bear triplets in the dead heat of August in the Sahara Desert if it meant becoming pregnant. Glass. Half. FULL. Chin up buttercup! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:53 AM Flag
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i know, i'm sorry to not be over the moon about this. i just wanted it to happen later so i'd have more time with my 1st and not feel cramped in our apartment so soon, etc. GOOD LUCK to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:56 PM Flag
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FWIW I was born in September and it is an awesome time to have a bday. As a kid, your friends are back from vacations so people are around to come to your bday party, it's a great time of year (so pretty, etc) and there are no other big holidays (e.g. Xmas) to compete with so you get to be the "star" for a few days around your household. Also being pregnant no matter when has some ups and downs. I'm 38 wks pregnant now and SO miserable and wish I could go outside and just sit in the sun but it's been so cold and miserable and I'm laid up with a bad virus, etc so just try to not psyche yourself out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:57 AM Flag
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My kids are 29 mos apart, and the younger was born end of August. It wasn't that bad. I found lots of indoor activities that summer, plus trips to the pool. It'll be fine - just try to stay positive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:58 AM Flag
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i liked being pg in the summer better than the winter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Should I send FC letter if we haven't gotten feedback? PSD not very connected and advised against sending letter but my gut says to write it - that it can't hurt. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.23.09, 04:59 AM Flag
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It can hurt - some schools really don't want them. However, some do - even though they can't ask for them. I'd say PSD should know the difference, but it sounds like yours may not. WHat is your FC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:01 AM Flag
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or: you are a nosy person who does want to decrease your own chances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:16 AM Flag
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Nice try. My dc is already in an ongoing & know something about this process. I thought I actually could help because I do know of several schools that do not want FC letters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:19 AM Flag
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op: FC is Riverdale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:02 AM Flag
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I don't know about them, sorry. Have you gotten any feedback? You can always send a very strong ILY letter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:07 AM Flag
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Write it, you will regret that you did not do something when you could. Some PSDs in the city are really bad and don't know what they are talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:15 AM Flag
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We did that last year and ended up on the WL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:14 AM Flag
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If you have an absolute first choice, is there ever a reason NOT to write them a FC letter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:11 AM Flag
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Yes. If you do, but turn out to have no shot at that school, you can't then write a FC to your second choice after receiving feedback. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:13 AM Flag
[ - ] Best place for ballet lessons for dc who cannot stop dancing - UWS, or Harlem - hopefully not absurdly expensive. TIA 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:54 AM Flag
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The first class of the Spring semester starts tomorrow at 9am at The Harlem School of the Arts. There isn't ballet until 7yo but there is a dance class for kids 4-7 that is great. It's $300. for 14 weeks. It's an amazing place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:58 AM Flag
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do you know if they still have space? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:59 AM Flag
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call now. the dance class(not ballet) has 2 times listed Saturdayam and Tues 4:30 pm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:00 AM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:02 AM Flag
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have you looked into Alvin Ailey? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:05 AM Flag
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You can't register mid season for Ailey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:25 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone think its possible to find a housekeeper/nanny to work 30 hours week for under $400? (in NYC) 101 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:53 AM Flag
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you could probaly find a Nanny for that amount, a housekeeper is a different position as in Nanny one position. housekeeper another position. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:27 AM Flag
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you just may,but this person will not stay , as soon as they find something which pays more they will leave , especially if you want heavy housekeeping.Also housekeeping will deny your kids precious time to do things with the nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:22 AM Flag
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$13/hour to do both jobs? Good luck with that. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice illegal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:56 AM Flag
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A nice illegal with an IQ of 70. Even in this economy, who'd do housekeeper/nanny job for $400?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:15 AM Flag
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np: Plenty of people. Having $400 coming in is way better than nothing. Lots of people with no money coming in right now. OP will find someone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:12 PM Flag
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You must not think very highly of your children if you're willing to economize to such a ridiculous degree on their care. So sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:57 AM Flag
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dont be rude--maybe thats what she has to spend. i cant afford to hire anyone to do anything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:14 AM Flag
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If she has $400 to spend, she should understand that she'll be cleaning her own toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:16 AM Flag
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thats why she is asking--why are you all so rude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:18 AM Flag
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We're just giving her a reality check. It's rude to assume someone would work for slave wages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:20 AM Flag
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jinx! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:21 AM Flag
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slave wages? get over yourself you self indulged twit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:27 AM Flag
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np. Excuse us? $13/hour? That's Starbucks pay. High school kids make that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:29 AM Flag
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and for someone who pays no taxes and has no degree............its not bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:36 AM Flag
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So she's not looking for a "nanny" she's looking for an illegal babysitter. She should have said that in the first place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:39 AM Flag
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which is what MOST of the "NANNIES" are.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:40 AM Flag
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No. Which is what most of the child care providers are. Nannies have always been "nannies". Just because a culture of overprivileged and lazy New York mothers started calling babysitters "nannies" doesn't make them "nannies". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:41 AM Flag
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true- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:42 AM Flag
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np I've never understood this. If the INS or IRS ever found out, you're screwed AND you really can't know who this person in your house is (or her true background). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:42 AM Flag
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the OP never said this.................i said that most of the "Child care providers" are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:43 AM Flag
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ITTA. Just ask Caroline Schlossberg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
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Exactly. Cost her a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:47 AM Flag
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Thank God! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
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ITA. Main qualification? JFK's dd (which isn't a qualification, imo). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:49 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:41 AM Flag
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Because she's basically looking for slave labor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:20 AM Flag
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i moved here and thought i would hire a person to do some child care and some cleaning...........most of these people are so f-ing lazy its unbelievable. MOST Nannys in NYC are NOT "A "nanny" is an educated and experienced child care professional who not only watches but actively helps in the development of a child. She is not a babysitter. She does not do the laundry or scrub toilets. "..................if they are in fact not what is written above then why do they deserve wages that assumes they are that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:30 AM Flag
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"Deserve" wages? If you want a nanny, get a nanny (if you can afford one). If you want a housekeeper, get a housekeeper. You should not expect either to do both jobs. Does YOUR employer expect you to empty the wastebaskets and freshen up the restrooms in addition to your regular duties? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:38 AM Flag
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people in all walks of life are going to become very used to doing things they previously thought themselves too good for................... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:39 AM Flag
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If that's what she has to spend, then she can't afford the service. Just because you feel you have a "need" for a service doesn't mean providers should always come down to meet your price. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:19 AM Flag
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ITTA. It's for this reason the title "nanny" has been so bastardized. A "nanny" is an educated and experienced child care professional who not only watches but actively helps in the development of a child. She is not a babysitter. She does not do the laundry or scrub toilets. But this is bascially what the majority of women are looking for -- and what they're willing to PAY for ... babysitters who'll also scrub the toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:24 AM Flag
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Problem is that the vast majority of these babysitters won't scrub toilets. Now that the economy is down said toilet, though, I guess some of them won't have much choice. But I'm sure they'll be bitter and start relieving you of the contents of your jewelry box any chance they get. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:34 AM Flag
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Nor should they be expected to scrub toilets. Extra work should translate into extra pay. Babysitters get $13-15/hour. Housekeepers get close to $25/hour. If you want someone who'll do two jobs, be prepared to PAY for both jobs -- at $35-40/hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:40 AM Flag
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LOL. Right. These are tough times, and illegals (especially) are going to be scrubbing a lot of toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
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The times aren't THAT tough. You want both jobs done, you're going to have to pay for both jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
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they are getting worse--just wait [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:47 AM Flag
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Yes. And many people are already to the same work (or more work) for less money. Domestic help is not exempt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
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Did you just arrive from Mars? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:47 AM Flag
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Mars, Pennsylvania as a matter of fact! How did you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
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no i live in nyc--are you not reading the paper? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:49 AM Flag
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oh did you or your husband manage to get some of that 4 billion in bonus money thain snuck out before the close of the BOFA deal. that might explain your obtuse perspective [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:50 AM Flag
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maybe not anymore now that the people who EMPLOY are making less [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
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Doesn't matter. If you're making less ... that just means you can no longer afford the SERVICE. Looks like you might have to get re-acquainted with the toilet brush, hon. Hint: Wear rubber gloves -- they'll save your manicure! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
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LMAO! Guess we should all tell our employers that they can no longer afford our services! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:50 AM Flag
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there you go--we have la la land on one side and scared shitless on the other [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:51 AM Flag
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Don't worry. Usually it's the employer who tells you that himself -- before handing you the pink slip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:52 AM Flag
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LOL ... assuming she ever WAS acquainted with a toilet brush! About the dirtiest thing most of these lazy and overprivileged women have ever had thair hands inside was fishing around for the Gold AmEx card inside last year's Gucci handbag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:50 AM Flag
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bitter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:52 AM Flag
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Nope! Just amused. I have nothing to be bitter about. I could easily afford a staff of cleaning people, but I prefer to clean my own house. Keeps one humble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:53 AM Flag
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goody for you-so you are obtuse. if you can afford all that so easily then you ahve no idea what financial constraints the OP might be under....doesnt make her bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:55 AM Flag
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Devaluing a person's livelihood by offering slave wages DOES make her a bad person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:56 AM Flag
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since you can afford a staff of people why do you go screw yourself b/c you cant relate to her and so your advice and perspective is meaningless [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:57 AM Flag
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You mean platinum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:53 AM Flag
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No. I mean Gold. Most of these women -- despite the airs they put on -- don't qualify for The Platinum Card. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:54 AM Flag
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Anyone can qualify for the Platinum card if you pay the fee - it's the black card that you need to "qualify" for [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:28 PM Flag
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Actually, that's not the case. Platinum requires $120K HHI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:29 PM Flag
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np No. You have to have a very good credit rating to qualify. Otherwise all these idiots who bought houses they couldn't afford a few years ago would also have $500 a year Amexes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:29 PM Flag
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Actually, you just proved MY point rather than yours. You need good credit AND at least $120K HHI. People with low incomes but "great" credit were the ones who ended up in houses they couldn't afford. And BTW, we don't all pay $500/year for AmExes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:56 PM Flag
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Plenty of people with iffy credit bought houses, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:12 PM Flag
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Mortgage broker here. It's easier to get a mortgage with good credit and low income rather than "iffy" credit and high income. Strange but true. Of course, things are finally changing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:27 PM Flag
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you are such a moron--I have been posting about the reality check people will need to take about what they are worth. i work and clean my own toilets............and have never had a nanny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:53 AM Flag
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The right wage, hon, is what the market will bear--and it's not $35 or $40 for an uneducated illegal to wipe some butts and clean some toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:54 AM Flag
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thanks...i guess thats what i was trying to say --LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:55 AM Flag
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Just like soon it will be $55K base salaries for IBers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:57 AM Flag
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yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:57 AM Flag
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why arent there more of you--and I (LOL) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:58 AM Flag
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Do you want someone who would work for cheap in NYC? Think about it. You are going to entrust your children to someone who can only get a job making $12 per hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:44 PM Flag
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let it go..................the dog is dead [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:45 PM Flag
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Yep. You get what you pay for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:46 PM Flag
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so when all your lawyer, hedge fund, IB, etc husbands get laid off or make no bonuses let me know what you plan to pay your Help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:48 PM Flag
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Um ... believe it or not, people don't NEED "help" ... it's a LUXURY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:52 PM Flag
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i know--i dont have any [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:55 PM Flag
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my nanny started with us at $12/hr and is awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:14 PM Flag
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She must be desperate or illegal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:29 PM Flag
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Most nannies are illegal, and if they start with no references they can't charge much. Mine started at $10 per hour, and has been absolutely awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:14 PM Flag
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Fun to play Russian roulette with your kids, huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:24 PM Flag
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you play it with any stranger you bring into your home, documented or undocumented, educated or not, expensive or cheap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:10 PM Flag
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You play it a trifle more aggressively when the person in question is an illegal with no references (could be a serial killer, for all you know). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:12 PM Flag
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you're kidding. the only serial killers I have ever heard of are good old U.S. citizens. you ever hear of references? they have them for undocumented immigrants as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:21 PM Flag
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She posted "Most nannies are illegal, and if they start with NO REFERENCES they can't charge much". There are serial killers in ALL societies, by the way. Point is, an illegal with no refs could be anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:26 PM Flag
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I choose not to bring any strangers into my home, thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:18 PM Flag
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well good for you, sanctimom. and when I find a rich man I can put up with so I don't have to work, then I can ban all strangers from my home and raise my son in a bubble as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:23 PM Flag
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You don't have to marry a rich man to do that. You simply downsize your over-privileged life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.26.09, 10:46 AM Flag
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I know someone who does livein and cleans for 400/wk. she is very unhappy in her current situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:10 PM Flag
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^^^she is an excellent caregiver, btw [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:11 PM Flag
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yes. lots of people looking for work these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:15 PM Flag
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YOu can get an aupair for around $300 a week. An aupair is not a full fledge housekeeper, they do light household chores that pertain to the children. But anyone knows when you have young children they make most of the mess. Then you can always get a cleaning lady once a week to come in to do the hard stuff like toilets and stuff. Much more affordable option. I am a local coordinator for an agency. I know how to find great aupairs. Let me know if you want some info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:22 PM Flag
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if you can speak french, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 05:42 PM Flag
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I think you can definately get someone for 25 hours a week for that amount. I don't know why everyone is being so harsh. I pay my nanny/housekeeper $15/hr and she is fantanstic. Her sister is looking for a part-time job (her f/t job became p/t this year). If you are interested, post contact info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 05:44 PM Flag
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Put an ad in American Banker or Institutional Investor magazine offering $15/hour- you are bound to get pleny of replies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:14 PM Flag
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There are pleny of investment bankers and private equity types looking for work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:11 PM Flag
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The responses to this are hilarious. Of course you can get someone easily for this. It is $13/hour cash. Most nanny jobs in nyc were $13-15/hour in the boom and will certainly drop to $10-12/hour now (are already in fact, as I can attest to by a recent ad I placed and the HUGE number of replies I got). Also, many nannies understand they will need to assume more HK work as kids get older if they want to stay with one family. The only crazy part of a combined nanny/hk job is if you expect her to clean *at the same time* as she is watching a couple of toddlers. But assuming you are reasonable about division of duties, this is an easily filled position. Post on CL and you'll get a TON of responses and lots of well-qualified ones as well. Keep in mind that $13/hr cash is equivalent to about $18/hr gross which is good money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:07 PM Flag
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^Keep in mind that $13/hr cash is equivalent to $18/hr gross which is good money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:08 PM Flag
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absolutely! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:09 PM Flag
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thanks. it would be mostly cleaning and a very small amount of babysitting. i will check out CL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:10 PM Flag
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OR: this is likely to be even easier then. The ad I placed was actually for hk only and I was offering $12/hour and got a huge number of replies, trialed a few people, and found two great women. It is true that hkers were making $15-20/hour (a bit more than nannies), but this is dropping even faster than nanny wages as people slash their hking budget before childcare since it's even more of a luxury. You'll have no problem. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:20 PM Flag
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np I'm a SAHM with no help. I have a toddler and a 6 yo and manage to clean while taking care of them dealing with their schedules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:11 PM Flag
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OR: Presumably your 6yo is in school a large part of the day and the toddler naps. Anyway, it is always possible to clean while watching children, but will generally require the kids napping, watching tv, or being old enough to amuse themselves for long periods. Assuming OP has one of these situations, fine. If not, she needs to give nanny some time to dedicate solely to hk or understand it will be necessary to do a less than stellar job of childcare during that cleaning time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:16 PM Flag
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np: how about an au pair? When I was an au pair in France, light housework was part of my job. Cheaper than a nanny, too, if you can also give room and board. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.26.09, 06:27 AM Flag
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If you are paying $13/14 per hour I CAN FIND YOU SOMEONE! I run a small nanny and housekeeping placement service. The economy is bad and salaries are not quite as high. Email me Czdlutz@yahoo.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.26.09, 10:41 AM Flag
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My advice is to get an aupair for total cost of about $300 a week and then a housekeeper to come in 2 half days to do the housework. The aupair will do the children's housekeeping such as laundry, toys, food prep etc and then the housekeeper can do the heavy jobs like bathrooms and floors in less time. Contact me for more info at d.barr@lcc.culturalcare.com. I am the NYC local coordinator for cultural Care aupair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.01.09, 09:36 AM Flag
[ - ] Please help with choosing a middle name! Lorelei ______? DH and I have FINALLY agreed on a first name. Woohoo!!! He like Lorelei Abigail, but I think it's too much of a mouthful. Help me come up with a better option please! Any suggestion welcome. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:06 AM Flag
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Onmyface. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:53 AM Flag
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Rory [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:06 AM Flag
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Give her a (preferably) one-syllable, more common, but still feminine, middle name so she has a choice when she's older of say "Grace" or "Ann" or "Bess" if Lorelei is too exotic for her taste if she turns out to be a more conservative gal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:35 AM Flag
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I know a little girl named Lorelei (UWS)but I don't know the middle name. Abigail in the middle seems like you couldn't decide on a first name. I met this kid in Fl named Belladonna Lorelei and I felt awful for that kid-to hear it with a twang. Ask yourself if you could hear yourself saying, "Lorelei Abigail, come here right now!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:55 AM Flag
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We live in the Netherlands so Lorelei isn't too exotic here, being a German name. Just a little on the uncommon side. I do think once syllable would be nice. I didn't even think about the First - Middle name combination when you're calling a naughty child! Funny. Thanks for the guidance! Any more specific suggestions are welcome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:20 AM Flag
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Okay, then I love Faye, Cecille, Celine, Ahn, Liane, Elise/a, Helene, Evie(not eevie but eh-vie) and yes, May, Mae or Lee(if the Marily Monroe ref isn't too much for you; it was a great name) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:33 AM Flag
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Rose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:56 AM Flag
[ - ] WHy is that lag, gap or so-called "stagger" on ERB so dreaded? Why is it better to have both scores mediocre but even instead of through-the-roof verbal, low performance -- why doesn't one interpret that as, hey, super bright, super verbal kid who just isn't as good at xyz? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 01.22.09, 11:00 PM Flag
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Oh how I agree with you! Especially for boys, who so frequently have coding trouble at age 4...One year later they're perfectly caught up on the writing. Verbal, on the other hand, will not catch up if it's low or mediocre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:52 AM Flag
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verbal can go up as well. dc took erb twice: one verbal subtest varied 70 points [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:23 PM Flag
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I don't know but the experts think a huge gap 20 pts or higher might indicate learning disability. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:56 AM Flag
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I think you mean "scatter". I am not an expert on the ERB but some people seem to think that if some parts of the score are high and others are a lot lower, it points to some deficiencies. Who knows for sure? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:03 AM Flag
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I do mean "scatter" -- what LD does it indicate, other than writing/fine motor delay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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I wonder about this too. My ds is not so good with a pencil but super verbal and got 99/90/96. Would a school think a kid with 95/96/96 had a better score? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:10 AM Flag
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Poor coding alone wouldn't make performance 90 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:38 PM Flag
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This is my beef also, with NY schools in general. Why can't a kid have strengths & weaknesses, like all adults we know? Why do they have to be perfect in every skill? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 04:13 PM Flag
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They don't. Kids with all kinds of scores are accepted to schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:30 PM Flag
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^^^ The only schools with absolute cutoff scores are some public schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:31 PM Flag
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Not to the competitive/tt schools. Unless connected (though some schools have very high standards even for sibs and legs and ding many of them) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:42 PM Flag
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it is dreaded because admissions people are under the mistaken idea that it could indicate a learning disability. that has been disproven. take into account these kids are 4 and it's meaningless. it's better to have mediocre across the board because it was once thought that "even-ness" is a good sign. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:32 PM Flag
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Don't confuse UB lore with what admissions people actually do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:37 PM Flag
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when a parent is told that a sibling didn't make it because of "low erb's" it's what some admissions people actually do, unless they're using it as cover for turning down a pita parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:52 PM Flag
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i happen to know from PSD that there are schools that like even erbs. that said, i think that's silly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 07:14 PM Flag
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someone asked at our ECFL tour and the admissions person actually said to the entire group that they prefer even, if if lower, as in 80s (the mom asking said her kid has scores in mid-eighties -- answer was that is just fine, we are not so big on ERB scores, but we do want to see that they are even, etc)!!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 10:04 PM Flag
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Scatter refers to variability within each section and not between Verbal and Performance. That said, if child is not bilingual and gets a very high performance score and MUCH lower verbal score, it can be a red flag for Aspergers. LD MAY be indicated if dc's subtests within each section are not consistently within the same range (except coding, of course, which is usually a bust for most 4 yos) however the WPSII alone does not offer any LD clarification, you would need to do additional tests for that. It is very common (and virtually meaningless) for 4yo dc to have a 10-40 point lower Performance score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 08:01 PM Flag
[ - ] SAHMs who went back to being WOHMs/are considering going back to work: At what age do you think DC most need you at home? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 10:33 PM Flag
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^Looking for responses from moms with older DC-- 5yrs to 15yrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 10:33 PM Flag
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4th to 8th grade. I work in a school and this is where it all falls apart and kids become total unmitigated brats because of a lack of structure and discipline at home. It's where their social issues are unmet by time with parents at home to give them self-assuredness (don't read selfishness). I see a bigger difference between kids with WOHMs and SAHMs, especially in grades 5-7. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:40 AM Flag
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I agree...because this is when it fell apart for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:56 AM Flag
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that actually makes me feel really good about being a working mom right now. it gives me 5-6 more years to keep doing what I'm doing and then I can look to see if I can work out a more flexible (3 days?) situation. I want to be around for the pre-teen years but to tell you the truth- i'm thrilled to be working during the sippy cup and diaper years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:02 AM Flag
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ita...I was able to work part-time during that time and it makes a big difference, much more so than when you're just fulfilling basic needs of a smaller child [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:11 AM Flag
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And fathers? It's absolutely astounding to me that in 2009 that we still talk about children's behavior in development solely in terms of what their MOTHERS do. For example, you never anyone say "I see a big difference between kids with fathers that work 90 hours a week and those whose fathers are home at 6pm." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:22 AM Flag
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THANK YOU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:44 AM Flag
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that's a different post, isn't it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:50 AM Flag
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I think the only problem is that the implication is that the Dad works full time and the Mom is working FT as well. So, no one is home with dc to import values, ethics, religious beliefs. Hard to do that during a 20 min bathtime or book read at night when you are exhausted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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and are you sitting around bathtime with your 4th to 8th graders? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:59 AM Flag
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Thank you for posting!!! My plan has always been to try to be at home at least part time from 4th grade on and ppl always give hell over it. Saying I'm misguided, blah, blah. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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you're not at all. bigger kids, bigger problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:49 AM Flag
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I recently lost my job & I am hoping I can make a go of it working from home until school gets out. I think NYC has warped family values (workaholics) & I would like to see if I can change my own situation & be there for my kids in the afternoons. In my own schooling I, too, starting losing it in 5th & 6th grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:48 AM Flag
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please my mother was home all my life and you are what you make of yourself.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:02 AM Flag
[ - ] why is it so scary to commit to moving out of the city? how did i become that person? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 10:08 PM Flag
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More drug use in your socio-economic group in the 'burbs; less cultural and less ethnic/religious exposure; more acceptable homophobia in 'burbs; oh, and you'll see your husband less if you are SAHM, your kids less if you both WOH - all for more closet space. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:42 AM Flag
[ - ] More layoffs today. Where are these people going to work? Isn't anyone else scared for our city/economy? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 10:02 PM Flag
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No. I'm scared for DH and my job. When someone tells me at least one of our jobs in secure, I'll worry about the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 10:13 PM Flag
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Where? Bank of America/Merrill? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 10:19 PM Flag
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I'm not worried about people who make more than 200K/year. With that kind of money, you should have enough socked away to survive with NO income for 2-5 years. If you don't, you deserve to lose your job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:55 AM Flag
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bitter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 02:26 AM Flag
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This type of response is so pathetic. The impact of layoffs on those who earn these higher amounts will just build and build to impact those who earn less - including, I assume, you!! People who make money spend money and jobs are maintained or created. Don't you get it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:01 AM Flag
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its hardly the ones that make that much who are being laid off ya know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:14 AM Flag
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actually those people who are getting layoff also, the middle managers at wall street firm make about that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:20 AM Flag
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Yes, it definitely is those who have made $200K and more that have been and are continuing to be laid off - in droves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:24 AM Flag
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its also a LOT of people under that too, i see it im here right in the middle of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:25 AM Flag
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I know and I agree with OP. It's really, really scary to think about what will happen to all these unemployed people and how we're going to be able to get a healthy economy back after an ever-deepening downward spiral... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:27 AM Flag
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Did anyone else read that article in yesterday's NY times talking about how the NY state unemployment claims have soared, so that the fund is now broke and borrowing millions from the federal gov't every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:29 AM Flag
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That's so not true. If you live in NYC, 200k/yr leaves you only about 125k/yr after taxes. Close to half would to basics like housing, utilities, cell phone, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:19 AM Flag
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np- even less if both parents work , daycare costs really eat up the money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:37 AM Flag
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I live in NYC and we make 1/4th of that -- and we manage to pay the mortgage, bills, and for all of life's necessities. $150K of that would be GRAVY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:27 AM Flag
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i worry about where people will work as well. My husband is an unemployed trader. He know he can't make the kind of money he used to make and we have adjsuted to that. The problem is there are no jobs at all for someone like him. Very specific skill set. He is too old to go back to school. Looks like he will be Mr.Mom for a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:31 AM Flag
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Que sera sera. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:32 AM Flag
[ - ] Long question but any thoughts are appreciated. I have a FT nanny who we've had for over 1.5yrs. DD is 2yo and I'm expecting DC in 6mos. Nanny was great the first year- very responsible, efficient, affectionate, and makes great meals for kids. But it is obvious now that she prefers household tasks, which she does with enthusiasm and efficiency, to interacting and stimulating kids. We talked about changing her because DD was becoming resistant to staying with her, and its hard to describe but she has zero understanding or interest in the child's development. But now I'm expecting again, I really trust her, and DD will go to preschool next year for 3X a week. WWYD? Just let this go because DD and new DC will soon play with each other? Would you get someone else during the maternity leave and make sure you can trust them with both kids? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:41 PM Flag
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dd may become even more resistant when baby comes because she will get even less attention than now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:43 PM Flag
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How would you look for the next nanny if getting recommendations from friends were not an option? I will be home for 2 mos so I have some time, but I want to do better with my selection than the first time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:53 PM Flag
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I think you should find someone new. There are some great sitters/nannies out there, who have a knack for caring for children. And having a new db around is the perfect excuse for this type of transition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:34 AM Flag
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I switched nannies when my daughter was 2yrs old and have been so happy. You don't know exactly what you need until you experience being a mother. Our "new" nanny for the past 3 years is like Mary Poppins and I am trying to figure out how to keep her with us since my daughter is now 5 and in school most of the time. If you are looking to make a change and want to speak with me about "adopting" our wonderful nanny, I would be happy to speak with you. 646-554-9902. She is amazing and loving. My daughter didn't even remember our old nanny when she left. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.09, 02:17 PM Flag
[ - ] you guys like to trash tt schools on UB but the truth is if any tt school were to accept your DC, you would jump from joy. I read all these posts trashing HM and Chapin today - these are schools that place 65-70% of their students in top colleges 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.22.09, 09:07 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:13 PM Flag
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But why don't you understand that there are people who would not jump for joy? I wouldn't trash the schools, but I also don't want to send dc to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:47 PM Flag
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OP: I respect that, I was talking about people who DO trash tt schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:51 AM Flag
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People who trash any school on here TT, or not - generally know nothing about those schools they trash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 03:50 AM Flag
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I don't understand people who trash ANY school. Period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:51 AM Flag
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I agree. I have kids in great schools but I also know how hard it is to get your kid into any private school and we all need to be a lot more supportive of one another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:05 AM Flag
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Not true.Most people express adulation for many tt's but dislike a particular one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:57 AM Flag
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What the hell are you going on about? Most of us can barely grit our teeth and bear it, having to scroll through all of your drooling threads about Babby's and tt's and sky high ERB's and incomes and so on. Now we have to deal with your whining because someone RARELY "trashes" one?? Please. Go read a book or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:09 AM Flag
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np: I see many, many posts trashing schools are here - yes there are some filled with "adoration", but those are always countered with some nasty post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:14 AM Flag
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Oh please. The top tiers are trashed a LOT? I don't think so. It is the "low tier" or safety net schools for the "shut-outs" that get trashed. And can you really not understand why you might occasionally see a backlash? Back to psychology 101 for you Miss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:16 AM Flag
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They trash everyschool. Top tier school people like to tell people how special and important they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:36 AM Flag
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DC is at a "TT" school, and I've never trashed anyone else's school. Meanwhile, my DC's school gets trashed plenty on UB. Some people are just insecure jerks. It's not unique to people whose DC are at "TT". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:27 AM Flag
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Really? Just by calling a school lower tier is rashing it and they get trashed plenty!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:01 AM Flag
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The fundamental misunderstanding on this board is that if your dc is an average student, s/he is not going to get into a top college no matter WHERE s/he goes to school--and is more likely than not to be counseled out of the so-called TTs. Happens all the time. Getting your 4yo into HM means next to nothing in the long run--if s/he's smart, s/he could get in for middle school or high school, and if s/he's not, s/he'll end up at the dreaded 2nd/3rd tier schools anyway. Stop pinning all your expectations on what school your dc ends up at. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:51 AM Flag
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I agree. I'm a college counselor at a big name school in Calif. I deal with students who have worked their butts off and have a strong work ethic. These are the children that succeed in school and life. Many of these children are first generation to US and almost all have gone to public schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:35 AM Flag
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So your "big name school" is a public school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:32 AM Flag
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How does this follow from what the poster said? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:31 PM Flag
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Isn't she a college counselor at a high school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:58 PM Flag
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Yup. I'm convinced that 95% of the btdt's on this board are those who have dc's at TT and have to come back to make sure they keep up their status and those who have sour grapes that dc was rejected by TT & have to trash them to make themselves feel better. Those who go off to non-tt privates don't hang out here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:10 AM Flag
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Dalton acceptance. No joy-jumping here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:33 AM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:04 PM Flag
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NP: Perhaps poster is worried about $$, fit for child, progressive ed, rarified environment, commute, sibling admission, keeping up with the Joneses, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:12 AM Flag
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OP. Thank you, you summed it up quite nicely. Not sure it's worth the $$$. The more I think about it, the more insane it seems to be throwing this money away. And it is THROWING the money away ... I know DCs will thrive in whatever environment I put them in, as DH and I are very involved in their educations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:15 AM Flag
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Dalton acceptance this year? How do you know already? Sib/leg? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:31 PM Flag
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how do some folks know already? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:47 PM Flag
[ - ] someone in our building said they saw our nanny not being particularly mindful of db (2yo) while at the local indoor playground. i'm freaking and am ready to fire nanny, but dh says i'm overreacting and that nannies just won't be as on top of our kids as parents are. (1) wwyd? (2) if we fire her, how do i even go about looking for a new nanny in manhattan? not sure the alternative is any better. i need someone extraordinary. I know everyone does, but I feel guilty enough that i can't SAH, so i really need to be as confident as possible in my nanny. TIA 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 01.22.09, 09:03 PM Flag
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what is "not mindful"? what was she doing---or not doing-- exactly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:04 PM Flag
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said nanny was sitting while db ran around the playground and that nanny was ignoring db. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:06 PM Flag
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what was she doing/ sitting on a bench with all of her friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:08 PM Flag
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that's what i'm told. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:10 PM Flag
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i am going to guess that she from a caribbean island. and while i do not think she would let db get harmed, i found that when my db reached 1.5 yr my nanny was not the right fit for him anymore. she was not stimulating, mobile etc. i am a single mother and i relied HEAVILY on her and was severly attached to her working out but she just wasnt right anymore. if you have doubts, maybe its time to look into daycare. it took a lot of convincing for me to look into it and once i found the right place i never looked back. best move i ever made [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:14 PM Flag
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I agree with this, too. After a certain age, children - IMO - really benefit from being with other kids in a daycare setting. I think babies need one-on-one care, but once they get older, it's better to be in a group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:03 AM Flag
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both of our nannies were from caribbean and both were great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:29 AM Flag
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This sounds a bit crazy. I've certainly seen neglect and lax monitoring in playgrounds and elsewhere, from sitters, nannies AND parents(particularly fathers-sorry). In a playground, kids go to play, get a feel for socializing with other kids and develop some autonomy in a contained environment. Does your 2 yo need to be accompanied or shadowed by the nanny every second? It's important you start realizing now, that sitting on a bench doesn't mean she was not mindful. Unless she really is a crap caregiver, her behavior will likely contribute to healthy independence. Kids that are so sheltered tend to be the ones that expect all their needs to be met without using words,their own abilities to get up, walk over and ask for help or whatever. You haven't described anything 'not on top of it'. Unless she never interacts in play, you are being a bit nutty here. relax [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:20 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:51 AM Flag
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Aaaaaaamen. Jesus. I thought this poster sounded a bit bonkers honestly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:59 AM Flag
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Poster is not bonkers at all. Our nanny told me she saw a predator try to kidnap kids on Sheeps Meadow and none of the parents were paying attention. Finally the mom of the kid in question freaked out, called her DH, who showed up and chased the guy away. The guy was basically stalking the kids, looking for one who broke away from the pack. The fact is when kids are in public you must watch them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:26 AM Flag
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read the post-an indoor play area isn't sheep meadow. I didn't say the OP was bonkers; I said she sounds nutty here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:28 AM Flag
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How old were those kids? Like it or not, you need to find strategies to build awareness and give kids hard tools to protect themselves. By age2, when my children were able to physically explore a larger area-playground,parks, etc. At that age, caregivers, parents,nannies- whomever-are still very much the center of their world. Two of the simpler rules were:1. If I can't see you, I can't keep you safe. 2. If any adult approaches you-man, woman, teen-offers you something,asks for something, even persists in talking to you. Loudly say NO and come to me. Anyone touches you, scream "FIRE" and run. 'Help' isn't good enough and is a regular part of childplay. Scream:" FIRE" and people pay attention. Sadly, by 4 my kids had had a variety of scenarios posed(drilled until we knew they got it)that heightened their awareness without creating paranoia. signed, anti-toddler hovering poster from above that has chased creeps away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:43 AM Flag
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Oh, I'm the poster from above having a rough time in my ny hometown. I thought you were coming from NoCal! If LA well YES! NY spanks LA soundly! by all means get out of that place! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:48 AM Flag
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wrong post-sorry... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:49 AM Flag
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Oh please. Sounds like your nanny has a bit of a drama streak. A PREDATOR was mincing about with big fangs and scary eyes...just trotting about the periphery, waiting for a stray sheep...er...child to toddle toward him, and one who's NANNY was sleeping or chatting on her cell phone because she SUCKED and the vile parents didn't know it! Or better yet, the PARENTS weren't watching... and the big bad predator who operated unbeknowest to the adults around him... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:48 AM Flag
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Agree 100%. People are WAY too on top of their kids. My philopsophy is to let them know where you will be, and let them go. Keep an eye on them, and only intervene if there is impending physical harm. If they want you to play with them or be near, they will let you know. Lots of moms will give you the stink-eye for being hands-off, but it works for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:02 AM Flag
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OP- dh spoke to someone who works at the playground who know db and the employee said nanny is good, and said he definitely sees lots of bad nannies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:05 PM Flag
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You can't react based on what one person says. Talk to other people and if they agree then raise with your nanny. This happened to us - other nanny told df that our nanny was letting db scream in stroller and not taking her out - we investigated and then confronted our nanny. Turns out she was rescuing our older dc from dangerous situation on jungle gym and left db in stroller to be safe while she did it. Df later said that her nanny didn;t like our nanny and that may have motivated the bad report. Even so, going through this soured our relationship with nanny and made it hard to feel trustful in the same way... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:57 AM Flag
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Mom of 3 ds, now all elem age. Also PT now FT professional working Mom. When tehy were younger, I worked 2 ds per week. I always had a live out nanny for the first 18 mos of their life. She would come on the days I worked and occasional other days if dh traveling or I had committments. When they were 18 mos, I put them in daycare and the by age three, all started at a reputable pre-school. If I needed to, I could keep them in aftercare, but I tried not to do this. I think when they are older that 2-3, the really do well in the company of other children. No adult, no matter how active, including myself can entertain and play with children all day long without wearing out. This worked out well for me and all 3 of mine are bright, happy and well-adjusted ds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:16 AM Flag
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I think what you are trying to say is that you are ready to fire your Nanny because of one person's observation? come on how shallow are you? you have a very long road ahead of you with Nannies if you do not change your mind set quickly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
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i think she responded to the wrong post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
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I wouldn't fire based on one observation, but I might take the day off and follow her to see for myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:29 AM Flag
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Just confront the nanny, tell her you got this report, you just wanted to ask her her side of it. Don't be "confrontational," just concerned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:29 AM Flag
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everyone has different standards of care. another mom in my bldg insisted that her nanny follow dc aroudn the playground until he was 3 yo - and i mean 2 steps behind him, so she found my nanny neglectful whereas i LIKED the fact that she allowed ds to be independent. quite frankly, i think a lot of moms find ME neglectful because I'm not neurotic and on top of ds all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:49 AM Flag
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Trust, tools for safety and good parenting help kids make good choices-In NY that really is Parenting 101. All the hovering can be truly disabling. If our children aren't given opportunities to test themselves in relation to their worlds, they will fail. I almost vomited on the Caribbean generalization above-until I realized, this is one of the better threads on here lately. I'd hate to see another race riot. I do recommend you develop a comfortable communication with your nanny; she's caring for your kid. Let her know people say things, ask her about those things and develop some trust. Without that, I can't understand how she's working for you anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:02 AM Flag
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I am with your dh on this -- who told you? Can you take a day off work and hang out and observe them together? I realize nanny will act differently w/you around but it might be nice to at least see her interact w/your db.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:06 AM Flag
[ - ] What ERB score range is Brearley looking for? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:45 PM Flag
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basta! enough already! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:49 PM Flag
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They won't take a thing under 102.5x3. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:59 PM Flag
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i heard it was 110.7 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:20 PM Flag
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My 99x3 dc was rejected (wasn't our fc, though, so who knows if that had anything to do with it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:15 PM Flag
[ - ] ds was asking me to marry his daddy tonight. his daddy and i were not even dating when he was born and his daddy has only visited him 3x in his life and its been a year since the last visit or any communication. i explained that his daddy is a great guy who loves him but we are are friends and not in love. and that his daddy and i never planned to be that kind of family. after reminding him about some of his friends that dont have dads at home, i even tried to explain that obama never lived with his dad and didnt even meet him until he was grown up. i showed him a photo that he hasn't seen in a long time. he was really sad and said that he will never forget him. dc touched his face in the photo, it was a such a real and sad moment. we put the photo on his dresser where he can see it. Ugh! 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:38 PM Flag
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you are pathetic and what is wrong with our society -you chose to have a baby in a lopsided --like he cant relate to Obama-get a grip [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:39 PM Flag
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whiner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:41 PM Flag
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OP: Why pathetic? Im not being snarky just curious about your choice of words. he is totally aware of obama, he is 5 yrs old and very bright and well informed. he knows that obama is the president, that he has kids and is a good daddy and that many people are happy about him. the story i am telling is actually quite longer, just gave everyone the abridged version. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:47 PM Flag
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PS from OP: what is wrong with society is fathers that do not take responsibility for THEIR actions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:04 PM Flag
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this responder is foolish and a troll. Disregard. That sounds like quite a moment and you handled ti well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:29 PM Flag
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This sounds like a really poignant and difficult moment, that you handled beautifully. I think you sound like a terrific mom. Hang in there. And poster above? Kindly go F*ck off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:42 PM Flag
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OP: thanks! posted because wondering if anyone has something constructive to add or perhaps has been in a similar situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:48 PM Flag
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no -most of us dont get pregnant by people we arent committed to just for fun and then bring up sad confused kids who dont have a father figure --you are not only no that kind of family you are really not a family thats ideal for a child--thats the issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:52 PM Flag
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You need to get yourself off to a therapist with a quickness. You're projecting cruelly and I couldn't disagree with you more. Please now, shoo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:54 PM Flag
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sorry i dont support people who make self-centered decisions to procreate for something to do and then cling to the children and give them attributes and feelings and motivations they WANT to see because its their own guilt speaking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:57 PM Flag
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Are you a mormon? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:01 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:21 PM Flag
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OP: you totally lost me. "something to do"? "cling"? what "atrributes"? yes, of course i feel guilt and try to compensate but its better he learns to cope with his father than not. i cant take his sadness away but i can help him manage his expectations, right? at least i dont EVER put his father down to him, no matter how shitty i think he is being. i always say nice things about him when this subject comes up, which is not often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:02 PM Flag
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Don't listen to this judgmental woman. She clearly has problems having nothing to do with you. Hell, maybe she's Anne Coulter. You are handling it beautifully. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:06 PM Flag
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i am not considering her pov at all, just wondering about her motivation. maybe there is something she is trying to say that she is having trouble articulating. thanks for being so sweet, btw [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:11 PM Flag
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You are so sane, OP and this woman is so unbalanced. Who do you think parents responsibly? I'm taking a wild guess... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:30 PM Flag
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nope not Anne Coulter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:21 PM Flag
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np: I cannot believe the lack of empathy! We could all easily be in that situation. It's not that hard to get into, whether intentional or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:06 PM Flag
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she sounds pro-life but in an opposite way. i dont get where she is coming from [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:16 PM Flag
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nope-pro-choice, anti-stupidity [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:21 PM Flag
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share something about your life. your kids. your DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:25 PM Flag
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*ignore* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:57 PM Flag
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sometimes having that other parent there can be more drama instead of happiness. My father wasn't around, but I'm glad he wasn't. He's a terrific guy, but he has a lot of issues, esp dealing with fidelity. He would have brought so much drama into our lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:53 PM Flag
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OP: agree, my father was explosive, inconsistent and abusive to my mom. God gave me a gift and I wasn't turning it down. (42 years old!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:56 PM Flag
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completely agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:52 PM Flag
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You're welcome. I've got your back. I'm even impressed that you posted about it here to get input and support. Your son is lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:55 PM Flag
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^^I meant to "reply" to the OP's "thanks". I'm no good at this, especially when I'm pissed and typing quickly, warding off the urban bitches... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:56 PM Flag
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LOL, got it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:58 PM Flag
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The "urban bitches" are anything but urban! I don't think in my entire life I've known someone (outside of maybe an occasional McDonald's cashier) who would think having a child on one's own is a problem. Difficult yes. But the couple thousand successful people I know in New York wouldn't blink at this. So back you go, evil poster, to your coven. p.s. the easter bunny and god were created by man. Your whole life is a lie. Sorry to burst your bubble! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:22 PM Flag
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just needed to vent about it. one big drawback about not having a partner/Dh is there are not too many people accessible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:07 PM Flag
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all kids need a connection with both parents. some are more vocal than others. i applaud your honesty with him. i don't have any advice, other than to always be supportive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:27 PM Flag
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have you ever thought of adopting a 2nd child so ds could have someone else in the world he can share his experience with? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:40 PM Flag
[ - ] To raise child ERB scores make DC 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.22.09, 08:34 PM Flag
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Listen to Frank Sinatra starting soon after birth. Diction and precision and verbal aplomb ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:35 PM Flag
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Ella is better for that . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:37 PM Flag
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They go together extremely well. In fact you should get the DVD of the TV specials where Ella performs with Frank on Frank's shows. FANTASTIC ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:00 AM Flag
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smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:38 PM Flag
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Why after birth ? Frank was with us all through pregnancy and in the delivery room. It worked! DH is a Frank aficionado and so is DD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:59 AM Flag
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Among the best predictors of the educational performance of a child are the level of education of the mother, and the number of books in the house. It's what you are, not what you do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:50 AM Flag
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Yes, and, interestingly, not whether SAHM or WOHM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:50 AM Flag
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Obviously , you have no sense of humor and take this all way too seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:58 PM Flag
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stay away from Ub and you'll think 80-90 is just sweet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:07 PM Flag
[ - ] it is funny how all these hyper well behaved kids with type a parents who insist their kids not watch tv or play video games, or watch movies with questionable content or eat anything with fat in it, turn out to be entitled brats when they get a little older. how is this possible? maybe this new way of parenting is creating well behaved K/2st grade kids, only to turn out entitled monsters later? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.22.09, 08:07 PM Flag
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^^^1st grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:08 PM Flag
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My 4th grade kid is well-behaved and not entitled in spite of my bad parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:18 PM Flag
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see. the bad parenting seems to be key. all this over parenting is becoming problematic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:20 PM Flag
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Sounds like you're projecting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:20 PM Flag
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no. just look around you. everyone thinks that parents who don't set limits create entitled kids. I think that is true for preschool and lower elementary. but the kids who have received every moment of their parents attention, who have been shielded from all things bad...these are the kids to look out for in a few years. not sure if you are a private or public school mom. perhaps it doesn't matter. but the greater the number of rules and protective measures in the early years, the better behaved the kid in the early years. later, it is the reverse. the kids given some freedom and allowed to be kids become grounded all of a sudden and responsible for themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:25 PM Flag
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You were so tickled with yourself and your response to the Saint Ann's post below that you felt the need to repeat yourself in a new post for all to see? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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yes. didn't feel it should be buried there. it is a more general issue. just occurred to me, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:30 PM Flag
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entitled brats come from all kinds of family backgrounds and fwiw, I don't think it's bad to feel entitled. It is just one of those urges, like the urge to make love or war, that needs to be tempered more frequently than other urges. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:33 PM Flag
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my urge to make love needs to be tempered way more frequently than my urge of entitlement. truly it is dependent on the person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:35 PM Flag
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All I can say to that is...I hope you have a good vibrator! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:36 PM Flag
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luckily, its not necessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:48 PM Flag
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just occurred to you? sounds more like you're spouting out a muddled version of some article you read in some parenting magazine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:40 PM Flag
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nope. trigger form st. ann's post. the more people I think of, the more I realize its true. UB can inspire great thoughts sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:48 PM Flag
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The reason I said muddled is because I actually find that kids who are 'over-parented' from day 1 (shielded, lots of rules, etc.) aren't actually better behaved in the early years. Their behavior is poor from the outset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 09:18 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.22.09, 08:30 PM Flag
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I know - I am noticing that too. They are very tightly wound and unflexible. It's their way or a total meltodown and then the parent blames it on lack of sleep, cold, it always some external factor causing them to act like this. SO funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:38 AM Flag
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You seem to be talking about younger dcs. I am saying the reverse. The young dcs of helicopter parents seem to be well behaved. They become entitled and unpleasant later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:34 AM Flag
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it's the helicopter parent thing. Everything in moderation seems to be working for me. My kids are usually really well behaved, but they can be silly too. TV, movies & food is all negotiable, we just try to make smart choices more often than not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:21 AM Flag
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I think its a matter of balance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:43 AM Flag
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