• Filter the conversation
[ - ] I never did Baby Einstein. I didn't think it could help babies get smarter. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.23.09, 06:17 AM Flag
»
You were right. And in fact, there was research showing the opposite effect entirely because no on, NO ONE, used them appropriately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:18 AM Flag
»
How is one supposed to use them? I had a few of the DVDs which DD viewed at 2 or older. To me, they were cute, time fillers but not great educational tools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:22 AM Flag
»
there is no appropriate way to use them. studies have shown they are complete and utter crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:28 AM Flag
»
OR here. Well, probably true, but the "appropriate way" to use them would have been sitting down with your baby or toddler in your lap and interacting and talking together as you watched the tapes TOGETHER. It was not about plunking them down to gaze into the strange stuff and sounds going on before them on the screen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
»
The only appropriate way to use them if you need 30 minutes to do something you just turn it on and let your child watch it. We got another 30 minutes of sleep out of this in the morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
»
Get over yourself - neither did I or a lot of people - but don't act so holier than though about it to make peopl that did feel bad. Why are you like this? Why do you need to put others down? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:35 AM Flag
»
Projecting much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:45 AM Flag
»
do you post this lame comeback everywhere? Why I am projecting. I didn' use Baby Eiensten either - I just don't need to pat myself on the back for it and it bugs me when insecure moms like you post like this. So transparent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:54 AM Flag
»
Who are you telling to get over herself? The OP? Or the OR just above? You're unclear. And how is anyone putting anyone down? Besides the makers of Baby Einstein? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
»
The reason I ask is because I (the OR) didn't use them correctly either. Of course! The absurdity of the makers of these programs was that after having research showing the opposite of their intentions (or their marketing), they came out publicly to say "but that is because we intended for them to be interactive, naturally..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:50 AM Flag
»
I started it with #1 at 6 weeks, one show a day. She was fascinated from the start, and I got to clean the apartment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:41 AM Flag
»
We did Baby Einstein but never for the reason to make the children smarter. Just for entertainment, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:45 AM Flag
»
my son now loves baby einstein at 3. had no interest before then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:55 AM Flag
»
Baby Einstein made it possible for me to cook dinner and had no commercials. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:23 AM Flag
»
Wait, do you mean Little Einsteins? Because we love the Einsteins, and I will not suffer any badmouthing of Annie or June, much less Rocket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:28 AM Flag
»
it's known as "baby crack" in my vernacular. i don't know what i would have done without it post-partem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 10:05 AM Flag
»
#1 watched to one we bought once. SUCH crap. Annoying kids and stupid made in China toys dolled up with model airplane paint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 10:08 AM Flag
[ - ] What are standard brokers fees for selling an apartment? Are they negotiable at all since the market is so tough right now? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:12 AM Flag
»
6% in NYC. Never heard of anyone managing to negotiate it, but it may be possible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:29 AM Flag
»
5-6% in NYC, could get it lower, but doubtful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
»
Just about everything is negotiable. Brokers fees certainly are! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:42 AM Flag
[ - ] Name Poll:Willem 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:09 AM Flag
»
How is it pronounced? Like William? Or a hard Will-EM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:14 AM Flag
»
hard ending--Will-em [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:15 AM Flag
»
Hmmmmm. Not sure. I like it, but I worry the kid would be correcting people for the remainder of his life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:17 AM Flag
»
my dh said the same thing--but then he too has a name that he has to correct--and he would probably be Will for the most part [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:22 AM Flag
»
Why not just straight up classic William then? I love that name, and there is no such thing as common anymore with the classics. Too many names to keep track of. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:39 AM Flag
»
No! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:31 AM Flag
»
I kind of like it. It sounds old-fashioned/ classic but not weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:32 AM Flag
»
like - Willem Dafoe. It is Dutch for William. I liked it, but husband didn't - so we are going with William. It is different but not overly weird of that unusual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:42 AM Flag
»
I love William. And if you aren't Dutch, its a little pretentious to go with Willem anyway. Imo. ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:44 AM Flag
»
so Willem Dafoe's parents were pretenious for naming Willem, and not William? Maybe they liked how it sounded better than William and they wanted to be different but not outrageous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:48 AM Flag
»
No, but I'm fairly sure his real name wasn't Willem. Probably a stage name. He was likely William at birth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:51 AM Flag
»
Wrong choice for a name! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:52 AM Flag
»
I like it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:00 AM Flag
»
I looked it up. Willem Dafoe was born William Dafoe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:05 AM Flag
[ - ] indulge me :-) Name Poll: 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 01.23.09, 06:09 AM Flag
[ - ] indulge me :-) Name Poll: 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 01.23.09, 06:09 AM Flag
»
I will NEVER give you my truly top names, because they are so fabulous that they would be pilfered ;) But for girls, I really like the classics and for boys, I tend to love the Milo's and Asher's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:11 AM Flag
»
You're right to worry--your names are so "out there" that no one could possibly come up with them on their own. LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here worry about safety of kids when they go on school trips? In k and 1st grade, should it be required that there be at least 1 adult for 2 children? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.23.09, 05:59 AM Flag
»
no- I am fine with the school's organization. 1 for 2 is too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:31 AM Flag
»
That's too many adults. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
»
ITA. Even on preschool trips when there are that many adults present, it interferes with the kids' involvement with whatever activity is going on. There are just too many people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] recommendation for a new restaurant to take "foodie" types. good atmosphere does not have to be particularly "hip" 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 01.23.09, 05:57 AM Flag
»
Really liked BLT market [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:57 AM Flag
»
Char on Smith St in Brooklyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:13 AM Flag
»
Hard to say without knowing details like price range, kind of cuisine, neighborhood, any food restrictions, etc. That said, if Italian is of interest, I recently had a great meal at Convivio, the revamp of L [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:21 AM Flag
»
^sorry, hit reply too soon. It's the revamp of L'Impero and opened within the past year. It's gotten great reviews and 4 courses @$59 is a good deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:21 AM Flag
»
scarpetta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:24 AM Flag
»
ita. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:18 AM Flag
»
What about Tom Colicchio's Tuesday Dinner? It's only twice a month though. http://www.tomtuesdaydinner.com/home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:25 AM Flag
»
if you do a chowhound search by neighborhood or type of food, you will get more details [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:26 AM Flag
»
Boqueria [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:34 AM Flag
»
ITA although they the don't take reservations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:58 AM Flag
»
what does ITA stands for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:27 PM Flag
»
"I TOTALLY agree" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:35 PM Flag
»
^^^^IUIETITIFS (I use it even though I think it's effing stupid) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:37 PM Flag
»
Market Table. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:23 AM Flag
»
Heights Cafe in Brooklyn Heights. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 10:08 AM Flag
»
tocqueville @1 east 15th street. Has a high zagat rating and I've never been disappointed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 10:34 AM Flag
»
Frank's or Little Frank's (east village area) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 10:36 AM Flag
»
Tabla, Madison and 26th. Beatiful place, Indian fusion and right across from Madison Sq. Park. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:14 PM Flag
»
Not new, but you cannot go wrong with Blue Hill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I realize I prob don't have the choice but: Collegiate is far & away our FC, I thought AS was #2 but now wavering to ECFS? Does that make sense? Any ECFS/AS moms care to weigh in? Thanks signed confused & tired of this horrible process :-( 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.23.09, 05:49 AM Flag
»
Collegiate and ECFS are totally different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:50 AM Flag
»
op: agreed but more progressive than AS no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:51 AM Flag
»
Collegiate is REALLY traditional. Very rigid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:57 AM Flag
»
interesting - b/c our tour & friends there feel its more of a tradition / progressive mix. I feel its way more progressive than St.B's or St.D's wouldn't you agree? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:04 AM Flag
»
np: I would agree that it's far more progressive than those schools. I have 2 ds at C by the way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:07 AM Flag
»
op: aww congrats! we really love the school & really feel it'd be a good fit for ds. But I'm clearly aware that admission is highly competitive so I wonder if a kid that'd be sucessful at C would be happier at AS or ECFS? fwiw - he's high energy, kind, "very smart" according to his teachers & psd said academically could go "any where" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:16 AM Flag
»
If you think he'd be successful at C, then he'd probably be pretty happy there too. Happiness is sort of defined by what you know and experience, and - even though C has high expectations for the boys - when my ds succeed, they feel over the moon. You know the saying, the harder you have to work for something the more precious the reward. It's not for everyone, but both my ds - as well as my dh and me - love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:26 AM Flag
»
thanks for answering me. I realized I wrote incorrectly, I think he'd be really happy at C too. Having said that it may not work our for us - if your boys didn't get into C what other school do you feel is closest to C in terms of feel / academics etc (fwiw we didn't even get a tour at Trinity so that's not an option for us either) thanks so much ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:38 AM Flag
»
For Kindergarten and 1st grade? sure, but it changes QUICKLY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:16 AM Flag
»
np: there was a poster on this board just yesterday saying that she wished she'd realized that there is a BIG difference between progrssive and traditional and she wishes she hadn't gotten caught up in how great ECFS was bc progressive was really not right for her family (or something along those lines). So be careful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:56 AM Flag
»
All should be so lucky to have such problems. Go with your gut and stop trying to receive help from anonymous posters who cannot possibly know your child or make a best decision for your family. You're clearly in a truly enviable position, so deal with it with panache. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:07 AM Flag
»
op: thanks but we're just in the application process just like everyone else. and isn't just random thoughts, input and advice is what this board is for? When we went through the preK process this board was really great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:18 AM Flag
»
Why is she in an enviable position? Because she had the good fortune to apply to the schools? No one's offered her a spot yet, and she's right to try and figure out her top choices so she can do what she needs to in terms of making it happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:48 AM Flag
»
Sometimes I think you guys live in an alternate universe. You honestly cannot see that this, even the OPTION to be in this position, is enviable? Is something the wild majority of Americans, to say nothing of the rest of the world, could not find themselves in? I just get tired of it. The whining, the little frowney faces, the minutia of this tt or that tt. Get a grip! Thank your lucky stars, and then make a damned choice! And stop crying about it's being a "horrible" process. Everyone should be so lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:01 AM Flag
»
Feeling better now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:19 AM Flag
»
np: ok fine. but what does that have to do with anything? just wanted to listen to yourself talk for a while? You think that when someone is looking for restaurants on the Upper West Side they should start with "I know we're lucky to be able to eat out and, lucky as I am, where might I get some good sushi?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:10 PM Flag
»
maybe you meant "read yourself write for a while" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:17 PM Flag
[ - ] I am trying to do a budget. Once all your kids are ins school to you have need for a sitter/nanny? I think not but a lot of people still have them. I do not work outside the home.Are after school activities that much? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.23.09, 05:44 AM Flag
»
I think only you can answer this question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:44 AM Flag
»
I think it depends on what your afterschool options are & whether you can afford to be with them in afternoons. I am trying to do this myself right now, but I don't know if I can make enough $. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:54 AM Flag
»
If you are not working all day, why don't you try to keep the school day time for yourself and spend a few hours with the dc after school. I sahm who is now back to work mom (PT), but when I was sahm, I exercised in the am, read,shopped, went out to eat with my GF's, and then when my dc came home, I was "on" again. I hired a sitter for evenings out once a week with my dh, or if I had multiple activities and didn't want to take the youngest out with the older 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:58 AM Flag
»
If you're home, you don't need a sitter/nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:01 AM Flag
»
I don't. I pick up my kids everyday and they come to each other's after school activities. 2 kids, one activity each. Sometimes one or the other has a playdate so I get time alone with the other. Sometimes it's a pain, esp if there's a doctor appointment or something, but it isn't worth it to me to have a regular sitter when I want to spend most afternoons with my kids myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:17 AM Flag
[ - ] I can't pity Caroline too much. It's just amazing to me that she even considered running for the Senate, considering all the career politicians out there, and the knowledge her name would get the position for her if she hadn't flubbed up in the beginning. When you've been born in a gilded cage, the best thing to do is stay there and enjoy it. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.23.09, 05:31 AM Flag
»
are you kidding? I don't pity her AT ALL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:31 AM Flag
»
So now we get this Kristen woman from upstate who nobody in Washington gives a rats ass about and who won't have any influence whatsoever - not that she'd give a shit about helping NYC anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:41 AM Flag
»
Patterson needs her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:42 AM Flag
»
Yup. that seems to be the deal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:47 AM Flag
»
What about Carolyn Maloney? I liked Kennedy btw and think she would have a lot of influence (positive by my way of thinking) and that it would have replaced the void that is going to be felt when Ted dies. I think that she WASN'T a career politician, but smart and political, made her a fantastic choice. Sigh. I' actually disappointed about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:50 AM Flag
»
yeah. me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:53 AM Flag
»
And by the way, OP, if one is "born in a gilded cage, the best they can do is stay there and enjoy it"? Wow. That is one cynical and hateful perspective. Reminds me of a basketball coach at IU, Bobby Knight, who once famously said if a woman is being raped, the best thing she can do is lay back and enjoy it. I'm not comparing the events, but the scale of audacity and ridiculousness is there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:58 AM Flag
»
Being in a gilded cage shelters you from the reality of being a career politician, as Carolyn Maloney and the other senate candidates are. Patterson needs Gillian for upstate NY - Carolyn Maloney represents City interests so he doesn't need her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:37 PM Flag
»
This strategy will likely blow up in Paterson's face if Gillibrand does not win the dem primary. Which is far from certain IMO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:58 PM Flag
»
Who'd run against Gillibrand? McCarthy? No contest. Gillibrand can wipe up the floor with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:34 PM Flag
»
And as for Kennedy being a Mom who wants "a second career now that the kids have been raised", Gillibrand not only has younger children but worked up until the day her youngest was DELIVERED. You have to show loyalty to your outside job if you want to be respected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:36 PM Flag
»
It would be fine if she wanted to actually run for the senate. The voters would decide if she was experienced enough. But to assume that she would be appointed just because she decides she wants it, that sense of entitlement is what bothers me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:07 AM Flag
»
I did not like her voting record, or lack of it. If she was interested she could have at least voted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
»
Caroline K would have been the best choice for New York, people are pathetically ruled by class jealousy and schadenfraude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:32 AM Flag
»
Why in the world do you think Caroline would have been the best choice? She has no experience, didn't vote half the time and is no public speaker. But then, Obama has no qualifications beyond being a community organizer whose two years in the Illinois Senate were spent trying to be a Presidential candidate so who knows? These days, obviously experience, military service, none of it matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:35 PM Flag
»
i'm glad she realized she has limitations and that the job probably wasn't for her. this takes guts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 12:59 PM Flag
»
Wasn't there a housekeeper who wrote a high profile Kennedy cookbook a few years ago that Caroline keeps in an apartment on Park Avenue so the housekeeper can be close by for the kids - someone named Marta? Perhaps this was the nanny/tax problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] I need to end my affair. I am so fixated I work myself into a state of total panic and depression if he doesn't email me for 24 hours. 80 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:28 AM Flag
»
disgusting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:35 AM Flag
»
know what? your writing those words signify youre ready to start recuperating. Write down your feelings (keep those under password protection) and be mindful of the stages of the moon. These two things will guarantee recovery. I know, the obsession seems insurmountable, but it isn't. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:03 AM Flag
»
I think I'm really in love. How do I reconcile that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:12 AM Flag
»
I know you're in love. falling in love is so precious and intense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:19 AM Flag
»
Yes. (sob) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:20 AM Flag
»
Are you affairmom? (I've got nothing but love, but I was curious. No flaming) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:05 AM Flag
»
Is affairmom a "character" on UB? I'm not her, I don't think, but I am a mom having an affair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:10 AM Flag
»
Oh. Yes. Affairmom was this hilarious poster of a few months back who was being trashed and strung up by many. So she started interrupting virtually every thread with capitalized AFFAIR non-sequiturs just to piss everyone off. She was vulnerable, funny and startlingly brazen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:13 AM Flag
»
Um, no. Affair mom was not the one posting AFFAIR on every thread. That poster was the bully who bullied affairmom off. Haven't seen her since. That was such an annoying example of how toxic UB can be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:16 AM Flag
»
No, I don't think so. It WAS affairmom. She did that as a rather juvenile but funny response to the scarlet letter designation. I'm pretty sure anyway. I had asked her and she winked and indicated it was her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:29 AM Flag
»
Plus, think of the hurt your spouse will feel when he/she finds out. I can tell you from experience (being on the other end), you never fully trust your spouse again. I am up to trusting about 95%, but will probably never get up to 100% again, sad to say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:09 AM Flag
»
I will make sure he never finds out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:10 AM Flag
»
I found out by accident by reading dh's blackberry once for the heck of it. I was in total shock, because I had absolutely no idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:19 AM Flag
»
shit, that's exactly how his wife could find out. We message each other constantly. My phone is password-protected. Maybe his is too. It seems like electronic media is the single biggest affair-outer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:20 AM Flag
»
I read somewhere that roughly half of all women at one time or another have read their dh's blackberry/phone whatever. My dh's was password protected, but it takes a few minutes to lock up, and if you pick it up before the few minutes are up, and use it, it stays open. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:22 AM Flag
»
Damn those electrical engineers with their honesty in marraige enforcing devices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:47 PM Flag
»
what did you read on his blackberry that alerted you? what did the messages to/from her say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:05 AM Flag
»
multipple daily texting, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. Checking up on things, like did you get home OK, etc. Finally, as time progressed, got more and more flirtatious, inappropriate, sexually explicit. Texting while he was out at events with me.... Going over to her has (married w/ kids) as part of a group or alone multiple times and never once mentioning it. Never ever mentioning the level of interaction he had with her. work colleague. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:09 AM Flag
»
That pretty much describes it. He messages me first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Never from family events, but from weekend trips away... even at midnight on Christmas eve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:16 AM Flag
»
OH GOD! I remember! Those feelings were soooooo strong. I couldn't think of anything else. Worrying about him. What HE's feeling. Does he still care? Why did he do thus and thus. It was only when I started to think about how I was being torn apart and concentrating on that that I was able to let go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:16 AM Flag
»
so you ended it? how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:17 AM Flag
»
It took time. But I wrote down everything I felt and kept it VERY private. The longing is intense. When I started to focus on how the affair was actually making me feel and wrote down every emotion. I could see that I started to regroup. It took time. Be aware of the seasons and the phases of the moon. It helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:23 AM Flag
»
The longing is so intense. I have been very private but I am in therapy. That helps a lot. I need someone to talk to and it can't be any of my friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:26 AM Flag
»
^^Do you miss him? (or her) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:27 AM Flag
»
Honestly, I do not. The love I felt for him was really all about me anyway. I never really saw him clearly. It always was all about me and what I was projecting into the thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
»
I do treasure the fact that I could still fall in love... even if it was with a mirage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:34 AM Flag
»
It's great that you're in therapy. What does your therapist say to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:37 AM Flag
»
She's so wonderful and compassionate. She encourages me not to feel powerless (I feel as if he always has the upper hand, and this makes me very unhappy.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:39 AM Flag
»
uh-huh. Veddy interesting observation. I like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:40 AM Flag
»
because I wouldn't leave my husband, he found another woman. Now, I look back and thank God I didn't leave my husband for him. My lover was actually manipulative and emotionally needy beyond belief. He was like a child. But I couldn't see that then. I see it now and thank God I stayed with a very good man. My husband isn't perfect but he has 10x the integrity and kindness of my x-boyfriend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:29 AM Flag
»
Is this someone you work with? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:24 AM Flag
»
No. It's an old friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:25 AM Flag
»
Where is the relationship with your affair going? Do you see the 2 of you getting married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:26 AM Flag
»
No. He'd never leave his wife for me and I don't think I'd leave my dh although I'm not as sure as he is. He is honest about this although he says he is in love with me. So the answer is, it's going nowhere. It has to be only about what we're experiencing right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:28 AM Flag
»
So is the temporary thrill (which now seems to be panic/depression as you descibe above), worth possibly losing your marriage for? Or, should I say, forever altering the trust your spouse has in you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:32 AM Flag
»
I'll answer despite the pejorative way your question is phrased. Yes, I suppose it's obvious that it is worth it or I wouldn't be doing it. I hate that it risks my family's cohesion but the pull is too powerful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:33 AM Flag
»
Does he love his wife? When do you guys meet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:58 AM Flag
»
yes, he loves her. We meet after work or during work afternoons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:03 AM Flag
»
Does he have kdis? DO you = do you work or are you stay at home? How long has it been going on and when did you recomennect? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:05 AM Flag
»
we have five children between us, we both work, both very successful. So it is fairly easy to say we have a busy afternoon or work dinner. It's been going on for a few months. It's not just the sex that's so all-consuming. It's all of it, the emotional stuff especially. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:17 AM Flag
»
how often? does he have kids? do you? are you sahm or do you work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:05 AM Flag
»
I think the statistics are that men have sexual affairs mostlt for the sex, and the state of their marriage is usually fine. Women, on the other hand, have affairs when they are unhappy in their marriage. Usually a woman's marriage really has to be unhappy for her to have an affair, not so with a man's. (This is what all the 'affair' books will tell you). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:35 AM Flag
»
The theories just don't apply to me, I'm afraid. I'm certainly not saying my marriage is perfect but it is fundamentally strong and loving. I just met someone who I have a very powerful connection with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:38 AM Flag
»
My prediction is that if you stay in this relationship, your marriage will fail. Your affair will not leave his wife. Sorry, those are the statistics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:41 AM Flag
»
I am reading this thread and wondering how you can say your marriage is fundamentally strong and loving when you are completely betraying your husband, your children, and your extended family? I am not judging you but I am just saying your marriage is probably flawed and that is how you got to where you are today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:43 AM Flag
»
Oh, Santimommy! Oh ye who have never really loved passionately, intensely, 'til your heart would break, love. Oh, yes, everyone can see how you "don't judge" Life is big. It's much, much bigger than your little eyes can see. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:58 AM Flag
»
I did have that passionate, intense, 'til my heart would break, love, and then I married him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:00 AM Flag
»
It can and does happen more than once in a lifetime for a few people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:03 AM Flag
»
YES. Probably more than a few... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:05 AM Flag
»
NP: you are really justifying your selfish behavior as passion. Grow up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 05:01 PM Flag
»
I never said giving in to passion isn't selfish. It's just that it feels so intense and tingly and gives you goosebumps and makes you feel totally alive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 06:36 AM Flag
»
OP here: what answer do you want to this question? That I'm just a bad, bad person? OK: I'm just a bad, bad person, and my marriage is terrible and dysfunctional. Are you happy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:02 AM Flag
»
I think the OR wants you to see that you are in denial about "your fundamentally strong and loving" marriage. It can be neither, or you wouldn't have started this and you wouldn't be going forward with this. You need to decide which way to go....otherwise you will continue to live in this lie (to yourself). Either end it with your dh or end it with your affair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:05 AM Flag
»
What kind of answers are you looking for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:23 AM Flag
»
just curious. are you a man or a woman? have you ever had an affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:39 AM Flag
»
woman whose dh had an affair [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:46 AM Flag
»
figured that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:54 AM Flag
»
Yes, I am one of the casualties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:01 AM Flag
»
You're also using the "statistics" to tell yourself your marriage is the one that was fine and healthy and that your dh's affair was only for the sex. Data can be comforting in that way, can't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:03 AM Flag
»
ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:05 AM Flag
»
he ended it as soon as i found out, told me it was nothing more than sex and that was it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:12 AM Flag
»
Definitely take him at his word! He's never lied to you before! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:16 AM Flag
»
I verify everything. That's what I mean by loss of trust. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:20 AM Flag
»
read: "Martyr" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:36 AM Flag
»
No, I could have left, was considering it seriously, got legal consultation etc. But, we have young dc together and we tried to work it out. When I say, I am one of the casualties, I am. You can never go back; the innocence of what you first had together is no longer there. The full trust will never be there. That's just how it is. And by the way, my dh begged me not to go through with the divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:02 AM Flag
»
BTW. It's not the end of the world if your husband has an affair. Life does go on. Stop being so nosy and stay away from his blackberry. you're just making yourself sick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:08 AM Flag
»
Do you know his wife? You should tell her. Maybe he would want to be with you then. Maybe he is just too scraed to do it himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:08 AM Flag
»
I would never, ever do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:17 AM Flag
»
Why is he cheating on his wife if he says he still loves her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:09 AM Flag
»
It must be so lovely in your simple world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:18 AM Flag
»
Yes - your world sounds totally miserable and self destruvtive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:19 AM Flag
»
I think this is my dh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:18 AM Flag
»
tell me what you do for a living, I'll tell you if it could be him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:19 AM Flag
»
I am sahm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:20 AM Flag
»
No, it's not your dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:20 AM Flag
»
Well if it is my dh - don't gain a pound b/c he is very vain and very critical! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:22 AM Flag
»
I love how you affair ladies ssem to feel that the intensity of your feelings for your affair partners somehow justifies the potential hurt to your spouses and children. Call me a sanctimommy all you want, but if you can't admit the potential of what you are doing then you are in some pretty advanced state of denial. Go with your feelings, sure, but admit to yourselves that you are willing to risk hurting those you love very badly because you are not willing or able to pass up gratifying your own emotions and desires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:54 PM Flag
»
>>for all the obsessing on here about what a disaster it will be if your child doesn't get into the "best school" it amazes me that people are willing to risk blowing their families apart in a way that will leave their children with trust, self-esteem, and relationship problems for years to come. 28 kids in a class or "2nd tier private" --god forbid--will scar a kid for life, but learning your mom or dad didn't care enough about their family to keep their pants on or get counseling if their relationship hit a bad patch--that's apparently minor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:57 PM Flag
»
get a job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.09, 06:18 AM Flag
»
You must be a fucking pleasure to live with because you seem to always want the last word and you say it with such a calm, insistent voice. PITA! I'd shoot myself if I were married to you. You husbands probably scared to death of you and what you'd do to him if you divorced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 06:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Please stop confusing the difference between a nanny and a babysitter. A nanny is a professional who not only care for your children's basic needs but educates them academically, teaches them socially and guides them morally. A babysitter is someone who watches your kids. They should be pay according to their experience and level of care. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:27 AM Flag
»
The hills are alive, with the sound of music. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:20 AM Flag
»
well said thank you very much [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:24 AM Flag
»
the hill might be alive but that is the difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:40 AM Flag
»
Bippity Boppity Boo! And Just a spoonful of sugar helps the BS go down! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:43 AM Flag
»
i think you are confusing nanny with governess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:45 AM Flag
»
lol, and I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:46 AM Flag
»
exactly-Nannies are not governesses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:51 AM Flag
»
or: i think a governess does all those things inc. education; a nanny is a professional caregiver (and by this i mean that it's her occupation) who i think does some of the social and moral guidance; a babysitter is someone who does other things beside caring for children (sitting is a side occupation) and is solely responsible for caring for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:00 AM Flag
»
I have never met a nanny with these qualifications. I have met many loving nannies, but the academic portion is lacking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:51 AM Flag
»
I, too, think you're confusing "nanny" w/"governess". FWIW, in my town, a nanny is someone who watches a child full-time, while a baby-sitter is someone you get for a couple of hours here and there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:56 AM Flag
»
nanny, governess, babysitter. you may know the difference, but the definitions in the dictionary are pretty similar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:56 AM Flag
»
no, that's a governess, not a nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:56 AM Flag
»
You're a nanny, aren't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:56 AM Flag
»
actually, I wonder if it's the manny from a while back... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:59 AM Flag
»
Oh let's quit this. People caring for your kids are childcare providers. Sub-categories relate to pay-scale, job requirements and STATUS. Would someone label my 2nd cousin? She came to live w/us(from S America) when I was four.She had the room next to ours(4 girls-1boy), went to school in evenings to learn English, worked outside the home(keypunching)while we were in school and our parents worked, Helped and taught us to get ourselves up, fed, out and to school and home, daily, took us to plays, parks, comforted, guided and loved us. She was given room, board and was not paid. When she left, we never stopped missing her. Before she arrived, we didn't even know she was alive. We taught her English, she polished our Spanish grammar. One day at the opera, our Mother introduced her as the au pair. Chaos, protest and mass humiliation of my mother ensued. Our cousin was the picture of grace and decorum; we children felt our mother a pretentious fool. Your takes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:15 AM Flag
»
Poor unpaid immigrant labor that your parents exploited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:44 AM Flag
»
Hardly. She got tickets and was free to go home/return to ny as her own work/school permitted, whenever she wanted and needed to, wasn't at all 'poor', as her family there might been referred to as textile 'barons'. My question really related to all these classifications for those caring for our kids. While I agree that babysitters are freelance, sometimes employees, I don't really think all this other stuff boils down to anything, beyond some need to prove status of an employer. As for my cousin, keypunching was a really huge occupation in the 70's for young working women. The choice to immerse herself in an English speaking professional environment was her own. 2 yrs before she came to live with us, there had been 3 older brothers-2 drafted,1 enlisted. I clearly remember them doing many of the same things my cousin did for we younger kids. In case you didn't get this, I think your assumption of poverty in relation to immigrant status is pretty ig'nint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 09:05 AM Flag
[ - ] does anyone know how they normalize the OLSAT for age. ds born in October - is there any benefit of taking the OLSAT in march vs. february? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 01.23.09, 05:12 AM Flag
»
AFAIK it is normalized within bands of three months. So, no, Feb or Mar will not make a difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:15 AM Flag
»
AFAIK? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:26 AM Flag
»
As Far As I Know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:34 AM Flag
»
It's normed in 3-month bands, as the first OR says. But that means 3-month bands based on the dc's age at the time of taking the test, NOT 3-month bands based on the calendar. So if dc's bday is in October, March would be better than February, because he'd be a month older and - theoretically - a month more mature, smarter, etc. compared to the normative group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:39 AM Flag
»
I don't get this. Kids are compared to other kids born in the same 3 month block. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:11 AM Flag
»
No. It's not simply a matter of dc with bdays in January-March being compared to a normative group of dc with January-March bdays. The 3-month bands are dependent on the dc's age at the time when they take the test. So if a dc with an October 5th bday takes the test on March 1st and another dc with the same October 5th bday takes the test on October 6th, they're not going to be compared against the same 3-month normative group. They have the same bday, but they're not the same age when they took the test; at the time of testing the first dc would be nearly 5 months older than the second dc. Get it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:22 AM Flag
»
^ Sorry if I'm not being clear. But in other words, the 3-month normative bands are AGE based, not based on the birth month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 08:24 AM Flag
»
Are you sure? I thought it was based on the kids' birthday, not age, when they took the test - i.e. if kid with a September 1 birthday took the test on Dec. 30, they would be only 4.3, but in the Jul-Sep age group. Am I wrong? Would they instead be compared against kids ages 4.0-4.3? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:24 AM Flag
»
I'm sure. Think about it. They can't have the bands based on the calendar, because dc take the test at different times throughout the year. The dc's bday only matters insofar as it determines their age at the time of taking the test. Has your dc tested yet? If so, look at the report and check out the fact that dc's exact age - to the day - is noted prominently at the beginning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:40 PM Flag
»
How could 1 month make a difference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:30 AM Flag
»
one month makes a difference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:16 PM Flag
»
one month CAN make a difference. But I wouldn't count on one month making a substantial difference in score. Bigger influence is simply the kids' mood on test day, how much sleep he or she has gotten in the week prior, what he or she ate for breakfast, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:24 PM Flag
»
in general I totally agree. I have another son that is a December kid and I have noticed the difference between him and early/jan kids. nothing to do with aptitude but confidence and experience. he is at hunter but often wonder if i should have kept him back for a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:35 PM Flag
»
well, you couldn't have sent him to hunter if you did. everything will even out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 03:53 PM Flag
»
np. Exactly. It's completely unpredictable. For all OP knows, dc might hit a regressive phase and perform WORSE if she waits a month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 04:58 PM Flag
[ - ] have a 19 mo old dd (born early june) and just found out preg. with #2, probably due in Sept. PLEASE tell me benefits of a sept. baby b/c right now i am miserable thinking i will be pregnant over the summer and annoyed dd will only be 28 months (unplanned preg, was planning on waiting anther 6 months or so). 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:08 AM Flag
»
I have 2 boys born exactly 2 years apart in Sept. Was pregnant through the hottest summers with both of them. They are now teens who are best friends and neither was red-shirted for school but are doing extremely well. It is difficult from for about 4 years in the beginning but everything after that comes together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:13 AM Flag
»
6 mths or so wasnt going to make much of a difference anyway...it's going to be hard in the very beginning but by the time #2 is getting more active and busy they'll love playing together.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:16 AM Flag
»
I had a june baby and a sept. one. Honestly I loved having a fall baby. The weather was beautiful to be outside for a few months. Also, I preferred summer maternity clothes - I could get away with buying much less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:33 AM Flag
»
Much easier to be pg in summer, don't have to worry about getting a coat around your belly, slipping on the ice, etc. Just stay in A/C as much as possible and you will be fine. Our dds are 26 months apart -- we had planned for 3 years, but mil was very ill and decided to try for one before she died (sadly, wasn't in time, but she was happy to know one was on the way). It is a fantastic age interval. They share many interests, and are great companions to each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:52 AM Flag
»
Perfect for inexpensive, fun birthday parties in the park!! I have 1 sept dc and 1 jan dc and the sept birthday was so much easier when dealing with the birthday party years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:02 AM Flag
»
your kid gets to be oldest if you choose private school -- very empowering for the kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:38 AM Flag
»
i had an unplanned oct baby so here are the positives - summer maternity clothes are MUCH easier esp little dresses and you can get away with flip flops so no problems w shoes not fitting; going to the pool is something you can do and it takes all the weight off your belly and joints; pregnancy looks better w a little bit of a tan rather than pasty winter skin. Pretty much the rest isn't so great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:42 AM Flag
»
It is all about perspective. I've been trying to get pregnant through IVF now for some time. I would be over the moon and willing to bear triplets in the dead heat of August in the Sahara Desert if it meant becoming pregnant. Glass. Half. FULL. Chin up buttercup! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:53 AM Flag
»
i know, i'm sorry to not be over the moon about this. i just wanted it to happen later so i'd have more time with my 1st and not feel cramped in our apartment so soon, etc. GOOD LUCK to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 01:56 PM Flag
»
FWIW I was born in September and it is an awesome time to have a bday. As a kid, your friends are back from vacations so people are around to come to your bday party, it's a great time of year (so pretty, etc) and there are no other big holidays (e.g. Xmas) to compete with so you get to be the "star" for a few days around your household. Also being pregnant no matter when has some ups and downs. I'm 38 wks pregnant now and SO miserable and wish I could go outside and just sit in the sun but it's been so cold and miserable and I'm laid up with a bad virus, etc so just try to not psyche yourself out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:57 AM Flag
»
My kids are 29 mos apart, and the younger was born end of August. It wasn't that bad. I found lots of indoor activities that summer, plus trips to the pool. It'll be fine - just try to stay positive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:58 AM Flag
»
i liked being pg in the summer better than the winter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Should I send FC letter if we haven't gotten feedback? PSD not very connected and advised against sending letter but my gut says to write it - that it can't hurt. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.23.09, 04:59 AM Flag
»
It can hurt - some schools really don't want them. However, some do - even though they can't ask for them. I'd say PSD should know the difference, but it sounds like yours may not. WHat is your FC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:01 AM Flag
»
or: you are a nosy person who does want to decrease your own chances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:16 AM Flag
»
Nice try. My dc is already in an ongoing & know something about this process. I thought I actually could help because I do know of several schools that do not want FC letters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:19 AM Flag
»
op: FC is Riverdale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:02 AM Flag
»
I don't know about them, sorry. Have you gotten any feedback? You can always send a very strong ILY letter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:07 AM Flag
»
Write it, you will regret that you did not do something when you could. Some PSDs in the city are really bad and don't know what they are talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:15 AM Flag
»
We did that last year and ended up on the WL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 07:14 AM Flag
»
If you have an absolute first choice, is there ever a reason NOT to write them a FC letter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:11 AM Flag
»
Yes. If you do, but turn out to have no shot at that school, you can't then write a FC to your second choice after receiving feedback. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 11:13 AM Flag
[ - ] Best place for ballet lessons for dc who cannot stop dancing - UWS, or Harlem - hopefully not absurdly expensive. TIA 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:54 AM Flag
»
The first class of the Spring semester starts tomorrow at 9am at The Harlem School of the Arts. There isn't ballet until 7yo but there is a dance class for kids 4-7 that is great. It's $300. for 14 weeks. It's an amazing place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:58 AM Flag
»
do you know if they still have space? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:59 AM Flag
»
call now. the dance class(not ballet) has 2 times listed Saturdayam and Tues 4:30 pm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:00 AM Flag
»
»
Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:02 AM Flag
»
have you looked into Alvin Ailey? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:05 AM Flag
»
You can't register mid season for Ailey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 05:25 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone think its possible to find a housekeeper/nanny to work 30 hours week for under $400? (in NYC) 101 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 04:53 AM Flag
»
you could probaly find a Nanny for that amount, a housekeeper is a different position as in Nanny one position. housekeeper another position. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.23.09, 06:27 AM Flag
»
you just may,but this person will not stay , as soon as they find something which pays more they will leave , especially if you want heavy housekeeping.Also housekeeping will deny your kids precious time to do things with the nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:22 AM Flag
»
$13/hour to do both jobs? Good luck with that. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice illegal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:56 AM Flag
»
A nice illegal with an IQ of 70. Even in this economy, who'd do housekeeper/nanny job for $400?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:15 AM Flag
»
np: Plenty of people. Having $400 coming in is way better than nothing. Lots of people with no money coming in right now. OP will find someone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:12 PM Flag
»
You must not think very highly of your children if you're willing to economize to such a ridiculous degree on their care. So sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:57 AM Flag
»
dont be rude--maybe thats what she has to spend. i cant afford to hire anyone to do anything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:14 AM Flag
»
If she has $400 to spend, she should understand that she'll be cleaning her own toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:16 AM Flag
»
thats why she is asking--why are you all so rude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:18 AM Flag
»
We're just giving her a reality check. It's rude to assume someone would work for slave wages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:20 AM Flag
»
jinx! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:21 AM Flag
»
slave wages? get over yourself you self indulged twit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:27 AM Flag
»
np. Excuse us? $13/hour? That's Starbucks pay. High school kids make that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:29 AM Flag
»
and for someone who pays no taxes and has no degree............its not bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:36 AM Flag
»
So she's not looking for a "nanny" she's looking for an illegal babysitter. She should have said that in the first place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:39 AM Flag
»
which is what MOST of the "NANNIES" are.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:40 AM Flag
»
No. Which is what most of the child care providers are. Nannies have always been "nannies". Just because a culture of overprivileged and lazy New York mothers started calling babysitters "nannies" doesn't make them "nannies". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:41 AM Flag
»
true- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:42 AM Flag
»
np I've never understood this. If the INS or IRS ever found out, you're screwed AND you really can't know who this person in your house is (or her true background). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:42 AM Flag
»
the OP never said this.................i said that most of the "Child care providers" are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:43 AM Flag
»
ITTA. Just ask Caroline Schlossberg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
»
Exactly. Cost her a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:47 AM Flag
»
Thank God! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
»
ITA. Main qualification? JFK's dd (which isn't a qualification, imo). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:49 AM Flag
»
ITA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:41 AM Flag
»
Because she's basically looking for slave labor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:20 AM Flag
»
i moved here and thought i would hire a person to do some child care and some cleaning...........most of these people are so f-ing lazy its unbelievable. MOST Nannys in NYC are NOT "A "nanny" is an educated and experienced child care professional who not only watches but actively helps in the development of a child. She is not a babysitter. She does not do the laundry or scrub toilets. "..................if they are in fact not what is written above then why do they deserve wages that assumes they are that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:30 AM Flag
»
"Deserve" wages? If you want a nanny, get a nanny (if you can afford one). If you want a housekeeper, get a housekeeper. You should not expect either to do both jobs. Does YOUR employer expect you to empty the wastebaskets and freshen up the restrooms in addition to your regular duties? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:38 AM Flag
»
people in all walks of life are going to become very used to doing things they previously thought themselves too good for................... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:39 AM Flag
»
If that's what she has to spend, then she can't afford the service. Just because you feel you have a "need" for a service doesn't mean providers should always come down to meet your price. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:19 AM Flag
»
ITTA. It's for this reason the title "nanny" has been so bastardized. A "nanny" is an educated and experienced child care professional who not only watches but actively helps in the development of a child. She is not a babysitter. She does not do the laundry or scrub toilets. But this is bascially what the majority of women are looking for -- and what they're willing to PAY for ... babysitters who'll also scrub the toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:24 AM Flag
»
Problem is that the vast majority of these babysitters won't scrub toilets. Now that the economy is down said toilet, though, I guess some of them won't have much choice. But I'm sure they'll be bitter and start relieving you of the contents of your jewelry box any chance they get. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:34 AM Flag
»
Nor should they be expected to scrub toilets. Extra work should translate into extra pay. Babysitters get $13-15/hour. Housekeepers get close to $25/hour. If you want someone who'll do two jobs, be prepared to PAY for both jobs -- at $35-40/hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:40 AM Flag
»
LOL. Right. These are tough times, and illegals (especially) are going to be scrubbing a lot of toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
»
The times aren't THAT tough. You want both jobs done, you're going to have to pay for both jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
»
they are getting worse--just wait [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:47 AM Flag
»
Yes. And many people are already to the same work (or more work) for less money. Domestic help is not exempt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
»
Did you just arrive from Mars? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:47 AM Flag
»
Mars, Pennsylvania as a matter of fact! How did you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
»
no i live in nyc--are you not reading the paper? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:49 AM Flag
»
oh did you or your husband manage to get some of that 4 billion in bonus money thain snuck out before the close of the BOFA deal. that might explain your obtuse perspective [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:50 AM Flag
»
maybe not anymore now that the people who EMPLOY are making less [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:44 AM Flag
»
Doesn't matter. If you're making less ... that just means you can no longer afford the SERVICE. Looks like you might have to get re-acquainted with the toilet brush, hon. Hint: Wear rubber gloves -- they'll save your manicure! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:48 AM Flag
»
LMAO! Guess we should all tell our employers that they can no longer afford our services! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:50 AM Flag
»
there you go--we have la la land on one side and scared shitless on the other [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:51 AM Flag
»
Don't worry. Usually it's the employer who tells you that himself -- before handing you the pink slip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:52 AM Flag
»
LOL ... assuming she ever WAS acquainted with a toilet brush! About the dirtiest thing most of these lazy and overprivileged women have ever had thair hands inside was fishing around for the Gold AmEx card inside last year's Gucci handbag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:50 AM Flag
»
bitter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:52 AM Flag
»
Nope! Just amused. I have nothing to be bitter about. I could easily afford a staff of cleaning people, but I prefer to clean my own house. Keeps one humble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:53 AM Flag
»
goody for you-so you are obtuse. if you can afford all that so easily then you ahve no idea what financial constraints the OP might be under....doesnt make her bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:55 AM Flag
»
Devaluing a person's livelihood by offering slave wages DOES make her a bad person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:56 AM Flag
»
since you can afford a staff of people why do you go screw yourself b/c you cant relate to her and so your advice and perspective is meaningless [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:57 AM Flag
»
You mean platinum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:53 AM Flag
»
No. I mean Gold. Most of these women -- despite the airs they put on -- don't qualify for The Platinum Card. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:54 AM Flag
»
Anyone can qualify for the Platinum card if you pay the fee - it's the black card that you need to "qualify" for [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:28 PM Flag
»
Actually, that's not the case. Platinum requires $120K HHI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:29 PM Flag
»
np No. You have to have a very good credit rating to qualify. Otherwise all these idiots who bought houses they couldn't afford a few years ago would also have $500 a year Amexes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:29 PM Flag
»
Actually, you just proved MY point rather than yours. You need good credit AND at least $120K HHI. People with low incomes but "great" credit were the ones who ended up in houses they couldn't afford. And BTW, we don't all pay $500/year for AmExes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:56 PM Flag
»
Plenty of people with iffy credit bought houses, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:12 PM Flag
»
Mortgage broker here. It's easier to get a mortgage with good credit and low income rather than "iffy" credit and high income. Strange but true. Of course, things are finally changing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:27 PM Flag
»
you are such a moron--I have been posting about the reality check people will need to take about what they are worth. i work and clean my own toilets............and have never had a nanny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:53 AM Flag
»
The right wage, hon, is what the market will bear--and it's not $35 or $40 for an uneducated illegal to wipe some butts and clean some toilets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:54 AM Flag
»
thanks...i guess thats what i was trying to say --LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:55 AM Flag
»
Just like soon it will be $55K base salaries for IBers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:57 AM Flag
»
yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:57 AM Flag
»
why arent there more of you--and I (LOL) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 09:58 AM Flag
»
Do you want someone who would work for cheap in NYC? Think about it. You are going to entrust your children to someone who can only get a job making $12 per hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:44 PM Flag
»
let it go..................the dog is dead [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:45 PM Flag
»
Yep. You get what you pay for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:46 PM Flag
»
so when all your lawyer, hedge fund, IB, etc husbands get laid off or make no bonuses let me know what you plan to pay your Help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:48 PM Flag
»
Um ... believe it or not, people don't NEED "help" ... it's a LUXURY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:52 PM Flag
»
i know--i dont have any [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 01:55 PM Flag
»
my nanny started with us at $12/hr and is awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:14 PM Flag
»
She must be desperate or illegal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:29 PM Flag
»
Most nannies are illegal, and if they start with no references they can't charge much. Mine started at $10 per hour, and has been absolutely awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:14 PM Flag
»
Fun to play Russian roulette with your kids, huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:24 PM Flag
»
you play it with any stranger you bring into your home, documented or undocumented, educated or not, expensive or cheap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:10 PM Flag
»
You play it a trifle more aggressively when the person in question is an illegal with no references (could be a serial killer, for all you know). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:12 PM Flag
»
you're kidding. the only serial killers I have ever heard of are good old U.S. citizens. you ever hear of references? they have them for undocumented immigrants as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:21 PM Flag
»
She posted "Most nannies are illegal, and if they start with NO REFERENCES they can't charge much". There are serial killers in ALL societies, by the way. Point is, an illegal with no refs could be anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:26 PM Flag
»
I choose not to bring any strangers into my home, thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:18 PM Flag
»
well good for you, sanctimom. and when I find a rich man I can put up with so I don't have to work, then I can ban all strangers from my home and raise my son in a bubble as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:23 PM Flag
»
You don't have to marry a rich man to do that. You simply downsize your over-privileged life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.26.09, 10:46 AM Flag
»
I know someone who does livein and cleans for 400/wk. she is very unhappy in her current situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:10 PM Flag
»
^^^she is an excellent caregiver, btw [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:11 PM Flag
»
yes. lots of people looking for work these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:15 PM Flag
»
YOu can get an aupair for around $300 a week. An aupair is not a full fledge housekeeper, they do light household chores that pertain to the children. But anyone knows when you have young children they make most of the mess. Then you can always get a cleaning lady once a week to come in to do the hard stuff like toilets and stuff. Much more affordable option. I am a local coordinator for an agency. I know how to find great aupairs. Let me know if you want some info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 02:22 PM Flag
»
if you can speak french, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 05:42 PM Flag
»
I think you can definately get someone for 25 hours a week for that amount. I don't know why everyone is being so harsh. I pay my nanny/housekeeper $15/hr and she is fantanstic. Her sister is looking for a part-time job (her f/t job became p/t this year). If you are interested, post contact info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 05:44 PM Flag
»
Put an ad in American Banker or Institutional Investor magazine offering $15/hour- you are bound to get pleny of replies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:14 PM Flag
»
There are pleny of investment bankers and private equity types looking for work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 07:11 PM Flag
»
The responses to this are hilarious. Of course you can get someone easily for this. It is $13/hour cash. Most nanny jobs in nyc were $13-15/hour in the boom and will certainly drop to $10-12/hour now (are already in fact, as I can attest to by a recent ad I placed and the HUGE number of replies I got). Also, many nannies understand they will need to assume more HK work as kids get older if they want to stay with one family. The only crazy part of a combined nanny/hk job is if you expect her to clean *at the same time* as she is watching a couple of toddlers. But assuming you are reasonable about division of duties, this is an easily filled position. Post on CL and you'll get a TON of responses and lots of well-qualified ones as well. Keep in mind that $13/hr cash is equivalent to about $18/hr gross which is good money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:07 PM Flag
»
^Keep in mind that $13/hr cash is equivalent to $18/hr gross which is good money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:08 PM Flag
»
absolutely! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:09 PM Flag
»
thanks. it would be mostly cleaning and a very small amount of babysitting. i will check out CL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:10 PM Flag
»
OR: this is likely to be even easier then. The ad I placed was actually for hk only and I was offering $12/hour and got a huge number of replies, trialed a few people, and found two great women. It is true that hkers were making $15-20/hour (a bit more than nannies), but this is dropping even faster than nanny wages as people slash their hking budget before childcare since it's even more of a luxury. You'll have no problem. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:20 PM Flag
»
np I'm a SAHM with no help. I have a toddler and a 6 yo and manage to clean while taking care of them dealing with their schedules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:11 PM Flag
»
OR: Presumably your 6yo is in school a large part of the day and the toddler naps. Anyway, it is always possible to clean while watching children, but will generally require the kids napping, watching tv, or being old enough to amuse themselves for long periods. Assuming OP has one of these situations, fine. If not, she needs to give nanny some time to dedicate solely to hk or understand it will be necessary to do a less than stellar job of childcare during that cleaning time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.09, 08:16 PM Flag
»
np: how about an au pair? When I was an au pair in France, light housework was part of my job. Cheaper than a nanny, too, if you can also give room and board. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.26.09, 06:27 AM Flag
»
If you are paying $13/14 per hour I CAN FIND YOU SOMEONE! I run a small nanny and housekeeping placement service. The economy is bad and salaries are not quite as high. Email me Czdlutz@yahoo.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.26.09, 10:41 AM Flag
»
My advice is to get an aupair for total cost of about $300 a week and then a housekeeper to come in 2 half days to do the housework. The aupair will do the children's housekeeping such as laundry, toys, food prep etc and then the housekeeper can do the heavy jobs like bathrooms and floors in less time. Contact me for more info at d.barr@lcc.culturalcare.com. I am the NYC local coordinator for cultural Care aupair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.01.09, 09:36 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions