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[ - ] would you be annoyed if you didn't receive written thank you after attending a child's bday party? 103 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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no, people are busy, i don;t care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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I think TY cards are a waste of paper - I'd rather not receive them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 07:26 AM Flag
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not annoyed. but i find it tacky. takes 2 seconds for person to write and they could have bought the thank you cards when buying all the other stuff for the party [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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store bought thank you cards are tacky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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NP: Oh, so you hand-make the paper and use a calligraphy pen to send thank you cards for your kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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Yes, my child learned how to do it at the Marth Stewart Academy where she goes on Wednesdays after her cello lesson but before her Japanese lesson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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lol i have a friend like this. her dc is in 3 activities right now... along with school 5 days a week. i think their only day "off" is sunday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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no, you get nice card stock and hand write or use printer. there is a staples on every other block. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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oh come on already. it's people like you who give thank you notes a bad rap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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if you're gonna send a thank you at least do it right [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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you're ridiculous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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honestly, anything is better than nothing. and if your dd had a dora party, dora thank yous are totally appropriate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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Here here.......I second that emotion.....if you can buy and send invitations, you can buy and send thank you notes....a friend makes these gorgeous home made invitations, crafts, games, treat bags......and apparently contracts carpal tunnel when it comes time for the THANK YOU! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 11:25 AM Flag
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I think it's rude but it happens all the time. I'm impressed when someone writes them and think highly of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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same here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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I honestly have no idea whether or not we got a thank you for any party that DD has recently attended. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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classy friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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Would you send thank yous? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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Yes, I send them. And I think most of the other parents do also. I just don't keep score like so many on UB seem to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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stupid response [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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You're much better than I am than I guess. I don't keep score but when I've taken my time and my money to go buy a present I find it rude when someone can't write a simple card. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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But this requires you to actually (a) think about the party after it occurs and (b) open your mail. I don't really do either! It's more like All I was saying is that I don't do that. It's more like "E [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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^^^(ugh) "exit Chuck E Cheese, be grateful it's over, move on to next crisis" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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I don't stew on it forever. It usually occurs to me that I didn't get one when I get a thank you from another party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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"Would you"? I do, and don't really know people who don't. I assume they didn't really have parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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no. i'd think it's more unusual to get one than not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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i'm glad i send them all the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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i don't think we've ever gotten one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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like i said, classy friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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i dont' think it's a question of class. i think it's a question of socially accepted norms. in this neighborhood, it's not done. it's not considered necessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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why are you laughing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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ditto. not sure what was lol-worthy about this comment, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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You have to be in the "thank you notes are the glue that holds the fabric of society together" camp to see the humor, I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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It is a question of class. You send thank you notes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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you guys are ridiculous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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I'm not ridiculous. I realize that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter but to not send thank yous is rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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rudeness is a social norm. as are manners. if your social network doesn't require it, then it's not rude to disregard the practice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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^^^let me rephrase. manners are a social norm. rudeness is a deviation from normal expected behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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NP: Immediate family is a good example. Some families exchange thank you notes, some don't. In mine we say thank you by phone or email, no one is offended, no one has been rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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I suppose you're techinically right but has your entire network discussed it not being relevant? Because I would bet there are some that think it's rude they just don't mention it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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i have *never* gotten a thank you card from any of dcs friends for birthday party gifts. i suppose it's possible there are some that think it's rude. but either they aren't doing it either or they haven't ever gotten gifts from us b/c they've never sent us thank you cards. And even if there are some that think it's rude, i think at this point, for this neighborhood, it's more of an "people used to do this" rather than "this person is being rude b/c they didn't send a thank you card". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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sigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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I guess I'll post a reply because the "class" reference is intriguing; in which context are you using it? Upon reflection, It seems more Thank You media has come to my child from 'well-mannered' families of lesser economic means, than the minority, which came from more clearly affluent families. Please let's mind our manners and sense here. Why do you care? Do you need approval on your gift choice or do you constantly seek inane proof of societal divisions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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Oh brother! Class has nothing to do with money, no one ever said on here it did. You're just justifying your laziness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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Oh Sister! Is this your first day on UB? This is a stronghold of $$wealth=class mentality;, My first visits made me slack-jawed from all the usage of terms like white trash, project kids,welfare moms and plenty more. when describing unsavory aspects of neighborhoods, schools, MD offices and oh, so much more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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btw I responded to you; that is an acknowledgement. I was raised to understand that it is positive to acknowledge the efforts and well wishes of others. My child makes her own Thank Yous, now that she is able. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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People who use the word "classy" even in jest, are generally the exact opposite, though clearly they fancy themselves otherwise. You think you're nearly a member of the house of Windsor because you write thank you notes. Get over yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 03:22 PM Flag
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Thank yous have become a PITA. I actually enjoyed writing them in the past for my wedding, baby shower etc, however, for every single gift! Sorry, not into it (even though I continue to write them). I ENJOY buying people gifts and I know that my close friends and family appreciate and enjoy them, and now, they don't have to write me a note. I have asked them to please stop wasting their time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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They are a PITA, so is cleaning the toilet. Some things aren't fun but you do them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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Yeah . . . no way. thoughtful response. as i said, i write them , but have told people to STOP writing them to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to play with any of my gifts until the thank-you notes were in the mail. Mom addressed them for me and stood over me while I wrote them (when I was very young) but it was my job, and my lesson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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NO... UNFINISHED... THANK YOUS! What are you doing playing with those toys when I told you NO UNFINISHED THANK YOUS EVER! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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haha no, she wasn't like that at all. My mother has the patience of an angel. She almost never yelled. We just understood that presents stayed in the spare room (or under the Christmas tree) until the thank-yous were sent. We usually didn't take very long to do it. I made the same rule for myself with wedding presents, and I'm glad I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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I was raised the exact same way. I try to make my children write thank you notes before playing too but the 2YO isn't too compliant :) My 6YO is good about them. I have noticed that among my "friends" who are always preaching the "Manners" rules to me NEVER send thank yous. The one never sent them after her wedding that my husband was in. I think it is a reflection on the children today that they are allowed to do whatever they want and not expected to just do certain things just because they should. Also preprinted thank you notes with the child printing their name at the bottom is sufficient in my opinion. There needs to be a certain level of respect maintained. And yes, if you do not open the present in the presence of the giver, absolutely write a note just to let them know you received it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 07:18 AM Flag
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Our children's b-day parties are very large and fully attended. The gift bags that the children get are usually more expensive than the gifts that come in. All siblings are included and we always provide a full meal. Typically, we spend about 100 per child that attend my children's parties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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Why are you trying so hard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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I like to throw parties so that when someone comes they really do enjoy themselves and do not see it as an obligation to come. In NYC, it is hard to dodge the B-day invites without hurting some feelings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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^^^I usually do not write thank you notes, because I have three children and do not have the time. If the guest is upset that I don't send a note then I am not aware of it since they all seem to come the following year also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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But the attendees took the time that they might not have had to buy a present. I'm sure you could scrape a half hour to write some thanks you notes. You choose not too and no matter how big the goody bag it's rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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they could have just not come. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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Well who can turn down such a generous goody bag?! Too bad generous didn't apply to your manners as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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It is bad manners to 'expect' a thank you card. To receive one is a gift unto itself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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Just keep buying people's love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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and just keep up with the social judgments and may be you will one day find yourself without any friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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Brava; this is an excellent point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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I was replying to the above poster- pointing out the poverty in decorum of expecting a thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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So? Do you send thank you cards or not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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and your point is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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No. I'm a busy mom with 2 kids...I understand that some times life gets in the way. (FWIW, I do send thank yous but they're always late.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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No, People always thank you at the party and people are pretty busy now a days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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Isn't a goody bag a thank you for coming already? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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good point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 03:18 PM Flag
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I send them out all the time but that's just me. I do appreciate when I get them because I usually try to pick out the perfect gift and it's wonderful to get that acknowledgement, but I don't get annoyed if I don't get one. I am more inclined to worry about how I do things rather than how others do things and that's stressful enough! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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No. For some reason I actually get annoyed when I get them - I guess because I can never seem to find the time to send them myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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Number one focus: teach the kids to thank their guests graciously at the time. I do my best to have the kids send thank you cards (probably 90%) because it is teaching them good manners. That being said, there are those snotty people who get their panties in a wad about not getting the thank you note that they are so richly entitled to. I have stopped inviting those folks because they are just too high maintenance. Try to do the right thing and have a little understanding when people don't do what you think they should. Geez. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 03:17 PM Flag
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I totally don't care. Then again, I am a bit lax with thank you notes myself. The only thing that sort of bugs me is I sent my SIL's DD some terrific clothes for her birthday and haven't heard a thing. I don't even want a note, just a phone call or email would be fine, because I'm wondering if they got lost in the mail, but it's awkward to say something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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ITA, I am usually late with Thanks yous but I try to get a note out as soon as I can if someone mailed me a package. Had a lot of friends with new DBs this year and mailed a lot of packages but never heard from three of the recipients whether they arrived. The first recipient actually emailed me asking me how I was doing (I was pg at the time) but never mentioned the package so I had to write an awkward email to her saying something about maybe it got lost. I think at least if you have an email address or a phone # you should let the person know you received the package. I don't really care about a thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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I wouldn't even notice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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I once received a thank you note on Tuesday for a kid's birthday party on Sunday which means the mom had to have written the cards the night of the party. Now that's freaky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 03:27 PM Flag
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Actually, that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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^^that's polite! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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Perhaps. But still freaky :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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I don't understand. People aren't required to send out thank you notes for attending a party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 03:34 PM Flag
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no, but I am annoyed when I receive a generic one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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new money here... i want to buy a vacation home in the northeast. must be within 3 hour drive of nyc, family friendly, and not too remote from shopping, etc. any recs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.11.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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Not annoyed, but I do want my gift to be acknowledged. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.11.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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yes if they didn't open presents at the party and thank my child then. How else would we know if the b-child even got our gift? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.11.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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not annoyed. but I do notice. we all learned this as children, didn't we? it's just basic good manners--you send a thank-you note. DC does them (I make sure they get done) so it takes a few weeks to get them all out, but it's important. (that said, I am kind of annoyed by the ones written by new moms in the newborn infant's voice! but, hey, at least they're thanking.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.11.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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Hanging my head in shame. . . we scheduled ds' bday party in sept, asked for no gifts, but had to cancel the party at the last minute b/c the weather was so bad (the party location flooded!). Some parents dropped off gifts for ds anyway. Rescheduled ds' party for October, asked for no gifts again, but got more gifts. I wrote thank yous to family members and had EVERY intention of writing notes to classmates as well, but life got in the way. I almost lost my job, the holidays happened, illnesses, etc. I feel terrible that those notes didn't get out, and now it's 3 months later & it's definitely too late to send them. I feel like a toad when I see ds' schoolmates' parents now. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 07:39 AM Flag
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dd's first bday was end of AUG! I never sent thank yous out as I was pg and had severe m/s start immediately after. Now I am just too tired to do them. I've never not sent thank yous before and I think it'll bother me forever! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 08:55 AM Flag
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Darien, CT mom here--i ALWAYS receive thank yous (even if just email) for party. Also, I ALWAYS write them. Kind of the norm up here for better or worse. Sometimes it's really annoying to write them but I like showing off my son's custom letter press stationary from The Printery. Plus I enjoy judging whether other's is tacky. Can I audition for Real Housewives of Fairfield County now ;-)! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 09:54 AM Flag
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Not at all. Most people in attendance at the party have already thanked me and my boys for the invitation. I find most greeting cards and notes to be a waste of natural resources (just my opinion). My children's parties always turn into rip roaring events with unexpected (very fun relatives or celebrity guests) or little kids bringing their instruments to jam like they are the next coming of the Jackson 5. I've had such a good time and my kids had such a fab time I'm not even thinking about thank you notes. But when I do received one I do get all warm and fuzzy because it's reminder of the wonderful day. My thank you is everyone having a good time and I hope they come to the next one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 10:10 AM Flag
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nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 10:16 AM Flag
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I always write thank you notes, and when our DC becomes older, he'll do them on his own. It really makes a difference in a world where people don't write them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 12:44 PM Flag
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I think its rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.01.09, 12:53 PM Flag
[ - ] is it ok to use triple paste for each diaper change, or is it better to only use it when ds has a diaper rash. i see other moms use less pasty creams for day-to-day, but just wanted more opinions...TIA! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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i use only when there's redness [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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It's very pricey & not necessary all the time. Use as needed for rashes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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op - then what do you use when there's no redness - A&D? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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I use Desitin, find what you like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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i used A&D for everyday and desitin for rashes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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i don't use anything. why would you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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I use it every time since db's first diaper rash. he has never had a rash since. I use very little each change and make it last a long time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:35 AM Flag
[ - ] Where can I go furniture shopping downtown that isn't too $$, like mordern stuff but not too too modern. TIA 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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west elm, crate and barrel, room and board, mitchell gold, z gallerie, dwr.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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you might also want to check out the flea markets [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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Jensen and Lewis and call Modernica to find out when their sale is; it's always pretty great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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ethan allen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 03:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Graco Snugride or Safe Seat (the graco one that goes up to 30 pounds)?? and why please? i gotta get one quickly! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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graco goes to 21 or 22 pounds but will fit into a snap and go which is a great thing to have.n ot sure about the safe seat but recommend graco [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:06 AM Flag
[ - ] what is the going hourly rate for a p/t nanny in nyc? (ds will be 2-3 months when the nanny starts. tia 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 08.01.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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more than a f/t nanny per hour. between $13-$16/hr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:54 AM Flag
[ - ] How old were dc when they began sports? DD turned 3 in April, and I plan on signing her up for gymnastics and soccer. Gymnastics is once/week, and soccer is practice once/week and a "game" once/week. Too much? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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I'm just starting older ds at age 5. Soccer game 1x/week and 1 practice/week. Sounds like too much for my 3 y.o., who does tumbling 1x/week. I would just do the gymnastics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Definitely too much. A soccer program that has 'games' for 3 year olds is bizarre [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:28 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have a reco for a handyman in manhattan? it's not a big job. building and installing some shelves, etc. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 08.01.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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I have used NYC Stuff and had mixed results. The guy who ran it was very nice and very professional and fair but some people he sends are better than others. Otherwise, I have seen recommendations on the Park Slope Parents group - google, you don't ahve to sign up to see the reviews. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:09 PM Flag
[ - ] i am really frustrated with dh. He recently volunteered me to care for my elderly grandparents. They live an hour from me and I have two preschool aged children. Dh thinks that this will be a great job for me because I will gain respect from his friend, family, etc. I am fuming. Should I be so angry? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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Absolutely! He has some nerve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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thanks...i thought that i was just being a little selfish or lazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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OR: It asounds like he is from a very traditional culture and feels obligated. Put your foot down now, don't get involved in this. It is way too much to ask of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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Why does he think that you need respect from his friends and family? Like you don't have it now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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Why would his family care if you're taking care of your grandparents? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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he told them and they thought it was just so sweet of me to be so giving [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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Oh brother! No one should voluteer anyone for anything. Make him do it as well. Tell him you volunteered him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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sorry, i need more information. how did he volunteer you? who did he say it to? what commitment did he make? why are you so upset about it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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he told my mother who lives in another state not to worry about her parentsand stated that i(me) would take care of everything. i am angry because i am not going to get any support from any family member including dh. this shoud be my mother's responsibility... not mine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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he was out of line. You need to tell your mom that while you can help out some it can not be entirely your responsibility - it isn't really her's either, but perhaps together you can come up with a solution for outside care, or whatever is necessary [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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this is not a big deal. i would ask him why he committed you to that and what he's willing to do to help out. meanwhile, try it. see what's involved. then decide what you can do and what you can't and contact family members after you have evaluated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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is this hypothetical, as in, "if you ever need anything, we're here," or are your gps ailing now. i think it's nice to let family know that if they ever need help, they are not alone in this world. don't see the problem; i think you are borrowing trouble, and i'm sure if he hadn't offered and they did someday need you, you'd offer anyway. that's what families do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:18 AM Flag
[ - ] ivf'ers: have 9 fertilized eggs, how do they decide to do 5 day transfer instead or 3 day transfer? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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that was the toughest decision imo. Did it years ago soI'm sure the protocol is different today. I preferred 5 day because they had more of a chance but you have fewer... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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Depends on how they are dividing....1st time around we did a 5 day transfer ended in a miscarriage...2nd time around 3 days..resulted in twins! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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In the 2nd time around how many eggs did you transfer resulting in twins? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Let's talk about the latest development in the DOE's administration of district G&T programs. Now the DOE is shutting down programs that have low enrollment. I know of 2 such programs so far. If the principals of these schools had the discretion to move high performing kids identified by their gen ed teachers into the G&T program, this would not be happening. By denying this discretion to the principals, the DOE is shortchanging so many children by this policy. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 08.01.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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Which schools? did PS111 ever fill its G&T? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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What's the source for this information? Are they shutting down newly created programs? Or are we talking about existing programs that just didn't fill up using the cut-off scores from the test? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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OP: Go to the "G&T Refugees" thread on Insideschools forum. You'll see the info there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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hijack: does anyone have any clue what process will be next year? asking for a friend. told her she wont know until fall/winter probably [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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nobody knows. It's probably going to be quite similar to this year. Just tell your friend to keep an eye on insideschools.org anf schools.nyc.gov [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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ok. So there were not enough kids for those programs. What is the school going to do? Have 5 kids in a class only? Put kids that did not qualify for a G&T into those classes? Neither is fair nor practical. The DOE caters to the greater good and not toward individuals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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how is this a new development? they were very explicit that there needed to be 10 dcs to qualify and enroll in order for the program to remain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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sorry, but that's the breaks. it should not be up to the principals' discretion imo. it needs to be fair and transparent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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that was the point of moving the score needed to qualify to 90, even though that score does not indicate giftedness. it was to try to keep some of the borderline programs that might have been closed around. it's ridiculous to move it any lower just to fill classrooms. at a certain point it's not a g&t classroom anymore. it's too bad for the dcs who scored 88 or 89, or even the 8 dcs who scored 99 and will now have to find spots elsewhere, but you have to draw the line somewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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OP: It is absurd to pretend that one standardized test administered to 4 yr olds is the only way to evaluate & identify "giftedness." We're talking about ENRICHED curriculum, not even advanced curriculum. This is about depriving kids of the kind of enriched education that they deserve. You seem to have bought hook line & sinker into the whole standardized test thing. That's a shame. Any teacher will tell you that there are kids who can benefit from a G&T program who might not have passed a standardized test, or scored high enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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i couldn't agree more, and i hope the doe changes its admissions criteria for next year. but you can't make exceptions for some dcs and not for others. if the doe wants admission to be totally score-based and insists on a firm cutoff, that's the way it should be for everyone. if you think the process should change, advocate or don't apply but don't insist there be different rules for different schools and pretend it's somehow fair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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OP: Who said anything about exceptions for some kids and not others? When it comes to fairness, you're barking up the wrong tree. The DOE is the one that created a system that now benefits white, upper middle class kids who live in relatively well-off neighborhoods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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you are arguing that in districts where the classes are not full, dcs should be moved from the gen ed to the g&t class. but what about the dc who scores a 89 but has the bad luck in being in a gen ed with a popular g&t? or the dc who scores an 89 but is in a school without a g&t? yes, you are making exceptions for some and not for others. unfortunately, as the article in the voice pointed out, lowering the cutoff did not increase the number of disadvantaged minority dcs qualifying for g&ts this year as was the intent. quite the contrary. i don't disagree that g&ts are disproportionately white and umc. but the doe has not found the solution to that, and neither have you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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OP: What's your solution then? You seem to agree with me, but you criticize me for voicing my disagreement with the way the system is structured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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i would wait until 2nd grade to test dcs, i would make sure there were strong, government-funded enrichment programs in poor neighborhoods, i would bring back onsites at least for citywides, i would investigate other tests and other ways of weighting the scores, i would do away with bsra now that everyone with money or a ub account knows how to cheat their way to a perfect score. that's for starters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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then shouldn't they just find a new way to evaluate dcs? to keep lowering and lowering the bar on the chance that there's a dc who is gifted but didn't test well and will benefit from being in a g&t program doesn't make a lot of sense to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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OP: Giving principals discretion to fill a few seats in less popular schools with G&T programs that have just a few kids shy of making some cutoff in order to sustain the G&T program makes a whole lot of sense --- especially when you're using a standardized test as the principal measurement (inherently arbitrary with 4 yos). This would not even affect many of the oversubscribed district G&T programs --- but it does affect programs in a few areas, and it's important to the families affected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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the doe plays to mostly white, umc families. if they really wanted this to be fair, they would offer the same enrichment these kids have in every zoned school, then test in 3rd grade to see who is truly gifted. i would place a huge bet that g&t programs would be way more diverse and truly represent the socioeconomic and racial diversity in the city [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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OP: ITA. I agree that testing at age 4 is inaccurate and useless. 3rd grade G&T entry seems very appropriate to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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most places that run g&t do not test until later grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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i am the poster you are disagreeing with vehemently and ita with this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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I am not sure if you really have to say *white* upper-middle class. Just UMC is sufficient because blacks and whites and asians etc can be found in that class and they all like G&T for their kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 01:08 PM Flag
[ - ] need super simple pasta salad recipe for a very casual bbq this w/e. have bell peppers, onion, tomatoes and tricolor fusilli. can i combine those? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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yes. add some mayo, salt and pepper, and you're all set. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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no mayo. lemon/olive oil and some herbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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yes, absolutely. make a lemony dressing with olive oil, lemon juice, salt & pepper and some herbs (thyme is good) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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...or Kens salad dressing... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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sure, if you're lazy ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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lol, usually I am not lazy but sometimes the shortcut actually tastes better (see SuzyQs, Kentucky Fried Chicken) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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don't agree with your examples (what is SuzyQs, personally won't eat at KFC as find it repulsive) but I do agree on principle! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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KFC was a bad example, I agree it is disgusting. But I adore SuzyQs and have spent hours trying to replicate the deep chocolate but surprisingly moist cake with creme filling. Experimented with tons of recipes and formats and you know what...my best effort comes up short to a .99 SuzyQ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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lol, I see... is that a Hostess-type thing (I've never heard of it) - it does sound good when you describe it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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np: the whoopie pies at whole food are a highfalutin' suzy-q! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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there are these amazing whoopie pies at a place in Brooklyn that I can't get enough of... pumpkin with cream cheese filling...mmmmmmmmmmmm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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it's the trans fats you are missing in your homemade version [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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sure. I would skip the onion thought, and maybe add some mozzarella balls (boconccini). also consider a pesto sauce (just buy it!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 11:00 AM Flag
[ - ] i do Calisthenics 10 mins. a day and swim 30 mins. about 3 xs a week. need to do some upper body workout. it feels good to get in shape 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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If you do the front crawl you get about 1000% more upper body workout than most exercisers. Add some breastroke and butterfly to beef it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:36 AM Flag
[ - ] korean parents: do you know of any korean catering venues or restaurants for traditional 1st bday party in Manhattan or Westchester? need space for 75 people. not NJ. tia! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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op- or non-korean but you've been to one of these parties [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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Lots of the restaurants in Korea Town do these. My sister took her adopted Korean son to one for his 1st birthday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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op-thanks. Do you rememebr the name of the restaurant your sister used? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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Sorry, I don't... but look up Koreatown and call them - most are pretty large, have private rooms, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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ok. thanks again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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sure, good luck! My nephew was SO cute - he chose the book (about Obama of all things) which means he will be smart. His little sister (had her's at home) chose the rice cake so she will be rich! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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Do you know where we can find a Korean speaking nanny? Also, I know some great Korean BBQ places in the 30's in midtown. I forget the names! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.08, 02:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Best day to deal with horrible gas in a 5 wo? Ped says GI is maturing and this is a rough age for gas/poops. She is putting so much effort into it and passing gas in little bursts with lots of angst. Do the drops really work? Advice? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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firm massage on belly. You will feel the gas bubbles pop under your fingers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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I could never tell if the drops really worked or not, but they didn't hurt. Give it a try. I think they work better for some kids than others. ITA with above poster about the massage too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Also try bicycling legs gently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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my ped had me give DS a fingertip of plain yogurt once a day and he was a lot better within a week. she said it helps them to build up some good bacteria so they can digest food more easily. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:47 AM Flag
[ - ] wwyd? my dd is starting preschool in september so i really wont be needing nanny anymore (beacuse dd hours are the same as my work hours)--but i am due with my second in december and would love to have same nanny, but i barely have hours to offer her for those interim 4 months--what would you tell/offer her? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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I think I'd ask her to do different duties (housekeeping, grocery shopping, laundry?) and continue to pay her, just to keep her available. Not employing her is not a fair option. She needs income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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suck it up for 4 months. Give her a lot of organizing stuff to do at home, errands etc. that you won't want to do when you are 9 months pregnant anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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ITA- and ask for extra babysitting evenings/weekends if she can so you and dh can go out before hte new baby comes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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OR: Yes! She could babsit in the evenings, when you want to run errands, go to the ob...just keep her on board and on payroll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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pay her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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