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[ - ] gave psd my top 3 coices a couple of weeks ago, and she has said nothing to me since. is that a bad sign? when is the feedback stage complete? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.02.09, 08:51 PM Flag
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Some schools are still interviewing this week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:36 AM Flag
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At our school that's where it ends. Give your top three and then wait until the 14th. Top preschool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:46 AM Flag
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Call and ask! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:07 AM Flag
[ - ] NEST parents: Is there much socializing among families/students in the elementary school? Have friends at PS 89 and they are always getting together. Many also live nearby to each other. Will DC feel left out if she goes to a different school? I know there are quite a few NEST kids in BPC but many more do not attend. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 02.02.09, 08:39 PM Flag
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don't know about nest, but df has a dc in a zoned school and another at a citywide and says by far, the zoned school has a greater sense of community overall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:47 PM Flag
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When your dc attends citywide that is outside of your neighborhood, it is definitely harder to set up playdates for several reasons (classmates live far away, commuting leaves less time for playdates during the week). This has been the only downside to sending our dc to citywide. But the school itself (Anderson) has a very strong community. It's just not located in our neighborhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 02:12 AM Flag
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We don't socialize with anyone except for the child in the neighborhood that also goes there. It's too difficult to arrange afterschool playdates and we usually spend our weekends outside of the city or catching up wiht old friends. It hasn't been a problem for us yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:47 AM Flag
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We're moving to the neighborhood to improve things and have more play dates with classmates. But as it is, we have friends based on our son's (new) friends. It's a lovely community and of course a great school. If it's the right school for your child, the social aspects for you and your daughter will work out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:50 AM Flag
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So funny you post this. We found PS 89 to be very difficult as far as socializing with other families goes. There are a few groups of families that have known each other probably since before they had kids and seem to socialize a lot. It is not, in my opinion, a very close community of families. We've been at NEST now for 2 years and it is WAY more social and DC has had way more playdates -- even though friends live in other neighborhoods. DC also has a couple of friends in the neighborhood and no one cares about school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:43 AM Flag
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aside from the annual potluck and birthday parties, we really haven't had much socialling. As the poster above says, with the commute and people all over, it's tough to do playdates. That said, we really haven't tried that hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Did you or your spouse receive an IB bonus this year? If so what bank? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:39 PM Flag
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They all gave bonuses, just down from last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:43 PM Flag
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Received a bonus, yes, not sure what an IB bonus is. ML... what is now BofA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:45 PM Flag
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Yes,Barclays [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 03:50 AM Flag
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yes, Merrill, now boa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:37 AM Flag
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dude. those b of a people are HATING you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:21 AM Flag
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Yes, BofA, but a pittance b/c the Merrill merger has caused a financial strain on the company. 90% of last year's numbers. Given the number of hours he works, he would have made more this year teaching and tutoring on the side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:43 AM Flag
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Hey- he chose that career. If he doesn't like the hours, he should quit. BTW: all work requires long hours and sucks, so don't give me that song and dance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:23 AM Flag
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true, but I know people at banks that got huge bonuses and did nothing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:33 AM Flag
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That could be true of any industry. There will always be ppl who are paid high salaries who do nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:57 AM Flag
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maybe he works long hours because he's not very efficient with his time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:35 AM Flag
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Yes - under contract, but not at bank that received bailout money. Know of people at other banks that receieved bailout money that got 7 figures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:32 AM Flag
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no way! what bank? this has to be a rumor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:36 AM Flag
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DB is the only one and it looks like they will need it soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:40 AM Flag
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is the only one what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone got any good feedback from All souls PSD for ongoing??? Or are we the only one who is screwed? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.02.09, 08:37 PM Flag
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She did not pass on any feedback - nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:27 AM Flag
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why does she do this? I see on UB that all schools do that and we are the only ones who are not getting that benefit.....despite of being at a TT preschool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.04.09, 07:16 PM Flag
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92Y, Brick, Beginnings all no feedback at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.04.09, 07:23 PM Flag
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that makes me feel better now. Do you think ppl here make it up that their psd's give feedback [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.04.09, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] wtf? Why were people so mean to the poster whose Dh has alzheimers. Shit people show a little compassion. She asked a question -- she didn't do anything or anyone 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:34 PM Flag
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Here! Here! I thought people on this were cool (at least that's how it was a few years ago). I think too many of the masses have joined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:36 PM Flag
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I dislike the rudeness but agree with the message - it is not okay for the OP to put herself first right now. This kind of situation is what the words "strength," "mettle," and "grit" were invented for, and OP has to show her kids she has them. Otherwise kids will lose complete respect for her. I know I would have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:38 PM Flag
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I don't believe her children will lose respect for her, nor do I think she is wrong for feeling the way she does. I think the women who say you can have a marriage without sex are deluding themselves. Unfortunately, knowing personally about the disease, the poster's husband is going to get worse and worse and as her children watch him deteriorate they are going to be a mess and then she will need the emotional strength of 10 men. It's a lot to deal with and I hope she comes up with a plan that works for her, her children and her DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:43 PM Flag
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I think posters also need to get to know the board before posting. I've seen women on here make fun of posters who have very ill/dying children, so they are not going to be sympathetic to a woman who has a DH with a terrible disease. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:48 PM Flag
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I have plenty of compassion for her - but she asked for opinions and my opinion was that no, she should not date now. Her situation is horrible. But she should not date now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:58 PM Flag
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Seriously. Here's my take, OP: yes, you can date, but keep it platonic around your kids. That way, you have a friend who keeps you company and can be company/support for your kids too. But, use judgement just like a single mother would, i.e., don't bring someone around the kids unless you have judged them to be worthy of your kids' time and attention. Unless and until then, just make it your grown-up time away doing something for yourself. And, use extra prudence in who/how you date since you can't take chances that put your kids at risk. Set-ups with friends actually sound like a great way to go. Whether you get involved sexually/romantically is up to you and the person you are dating, with whom you should of course be up front about your whole situation. I disagree you need permission from dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 02:38 AM Flag
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^^^ situation. I disagree you need permission from DH's family first. This is about you, and if you find yourself developing a relationship, then you will know when the time is to share that relationship with your other family members. Please disregard the posters who do not realize the complexity of your situation. For a role model, consider Justice (was it O'Connor), who supported her husband with Alzheimer's "dating" a woman in his asst living center. Not exactly analagous, of course, but you get the picture... There must be support groups too for you where you will find people who have experienced this. And, fwiw, dh's family, if they've been helping out, should only be supportive of your healthy desire to form new contacts / relationships for yourself (and for the sake of your children). Emotionally and practically, it's good for them too, directly and indirectly. So sorry for your struggles, and Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 02:42 AM Flag
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What is wrong with you people? Would it be okay for your elderly mothers to ditch your elderly father's because they were dying and your mom was bored. The OP made a decision to marry an older man and with that decision comes the risk of disease. My husband and I joke all the time that we can't do certain things because neither one of us wants to wipe the other person's ass but the underlying statement is that we would because we love each other and sometimes life just sucks. OP needs to get a vibrator and deal with the reality of her choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:00 AM Flag
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np: why is everyone making this about sex. the woman seeks companionship. she is essentially raising 4 kids on her own with a dh who likely won't recognize her very soon. she's like a widow but worse. why is it so unfathomable that she would want an adult relationship - some to relate to, to share the difficulties of her life and the joys, to help her with the kids, etc. Whether you think she should or shouldn't do this, don't make it seem like all she wants is to get some. I'm sure she could do that without involving hte kids, UB or anyone finding out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:28 AM Flag
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ita. I'm ashamed to admit that the one time when I was most tempted to have an affair was when dh was going through cancer surgery and treatment. It's hard to be in a position where the giving is all in one direction. I didn't stray, but I totally understand the desire to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:51 AM Flag
[ - ] It seems like the great majority of posters on these boards have DCs with 99s -- so let's assume it's true. There seem to be enough 99s to fill the TTs. AT least they can fill them with 98/99s. So for no diversity and no connections, maybe you really do need ERBs ABOVE 97 -- far too many 97s and below and plenty of 98/99s,, so hey go for it. Thoughts? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.02.09, 08:32 PM Flag
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^^meantto say "they go for it" as in the TTs take more 99s and below 98 you need a lot more of the other bells & whistles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:54 PM Flag
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I don't know any kids in tts who got under 98 (according to their parents). My own dc had 99s and goes to tt (unconnected). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:12 PM Flag
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The thing is, knowing well kids who got 99s, 98s, 97s, 96s -- the 99s don't seem any smarter than the 96s, say, and the scores are not predictive of academic success according to every study (though they desperately wanted opp. result to justify all this) -- so why do the schools care so much? What gives? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:17 AM Flag
[ - ] I am so sorry you are getting such rude replies. I am amazed by the amount of idiots on this site. You should be happy. Also, maybe you need to get clarity with DH's family members so that they are on board if you decide to date. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:23 PM Flag
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Right. It's all about HER happiness, not her husband's or her children's. I keep forgetting this is the "Me Generation". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:26 PM Flag
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You are a moron. What's more unhappy to kids than a lonely mother sulking around and a very ill father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:27 PM Flag
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What's more unhappy? A selfish mother who deserts their terminally ill father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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If mom is sulking and having a boyfriend would fix that, this woman has a lot more trouble that what she shared with us. She has to put on a strong face for her children. That's our job as parents and it's brutal sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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Of course she should be happy, but life doesn't always work like this. For this woman, no one would argue that her situation sucks. But, it's what she's been given. I have friends whose child recently died of cancer after a four year battle. Were they happy during that time, of course not, it was awful. But, they didn't get to go just trade in their daughter for a healthy one because they weren't happy or life was rough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:27 PM Flag
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ITTA. She signed up for this. It's called MARRIAGE. Marriage isn't just an expensive blowout party with a fancy white dress and the opportunity to morally shack up and seamlessly merge assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:30 PM Flag
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Okay bitches. If your marriages are so wonderful, why are you on this stupid website blogging all night instead of hanging out with your husbands. How the hell can you pass judgement on anyone else's situation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:32 PM Flag
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I'm single. If I were married I'd be with my DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:33 PM Flag
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Then you should really refrain from weighing in at all. Why don't you join one of the insipid competitive school conversations - that might be more appropriate for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:34 PM Flag
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I'm sick of this "me me me" attitude. At some point you have to let go of selfishness and do what's best for your family. Your kids will respect you MORE if you have the strength to accept this terrible situation and make the most of life regardless, rather than just attaching yourself to the next man. And by the way, LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX; there's also things like work, enjoyment of nature and hobbies, and spending quality time with family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:36 PM Flag
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It is so hard to cope with Alzheimer's that finding a source of happiness to help prop you up and keep you going -- if it doesn't hurt anyone else-- is worthwhile. This is a particularly wrenching process, since the loved one loses themselves before their bodies wear out... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Is this site just stupid NYC schools? Holy crap. I need vacation advice. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 02.02.09, 08:18 PM Flag
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Well, Puerto Rico is supposed to be fabulous, it's annexed by U.S. or whatever, and it's close. How about that? If you like my answer, what do you think about my mother disinheriting me b/c I have to move away due to DH job change? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 02:28 AM Flag
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your mother is wrong, very wrong [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:10 AM Flag
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Not OP but PR is a good idea if you get well out of San Juan. I also like St John, USVI but rent a villa/house(quite reasonable) and a small jeep. try www.vivacations.com-this is a resource, not spam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:19 AM Flag
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oh and as for your Mom, Tell yourself what you might tell a child in a similar situation: She doesn't have the tools to make a good choice, so she wants to see you upset; Don't give her what she wants, keep your emotional response to yourself and she won't get what she wants and may have some chance to reflect on her immaturity. I'm sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:24 AM Flag
[ - ] East Village moms. Any thoughts on which is school is better - Earth School or Neighborhood School. I like both and am having trouble deciding which of the two schools to rank 1st on the District 1 lottery application. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:18 PM Flag
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I like Earth School. My kids went there. But they are now 18 and 19. At Cornell and American. I hear the Neighborhood is terrific too, but I don't know much about them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:22 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:24 PM Flag
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None of them. We attended East Village Community for 4 years, moved to private. MANY friends moved to Neighborhood, reported that it's exactly the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:26 PM Flag
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Earth. Good option but kids have to be self-motivated and intellectually curious in order to do well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:30 PM Flag
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Perhaps. But I had on who was self-motivated and one who was completely lazy and they both did well. But things have probably changed since my boys went there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:33 PM Flag
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Thinking more about it, the intellectually curious is even more important. And I'm thinking more about long-term doing well (not necessarily doing well in elementary school). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:37 PM Flag
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ShuangWen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:37 PM Flag
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Have good friends whose bright dc is at Neighborhood School, they're very involved, they really like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 02:26 AM Flag
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My son goes to East Village community school and is flourishing. The classes are very small. (there are only 17 in his class). It's intimate enough so that you really get to know everyone, not just the parents and children in your child's class. Jarvis has already taken 4 trips this year. Museums, central park, east river park, and to Hunter college to hear a chirstmas choir. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.17.10, 02:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I need a sunny vacation with family. Where do we go??? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:14 PM Flag
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expedia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:19 PM Flag
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lastminutetravel.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:42 AM Flag
[ - ] For people who know about the District 3 lottery, how exactly does it work? If we only like 2 schools better than our zoned school, do we simply rank 2 schools? The application says rank 5 schools, which doesn't seem to make much sense. Also, if you get into a desired school, are you committed to sending your dc there? TIA! 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.02.09, 08:01 PM Flag
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if you think that you will get one of your 2 choices you are mistaken. rank all 5 because you have no idea where there will be room so they need to have all 5 ranked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:11 PM Flag
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she doesn't like 3 of them as much as her zoned school. so she should not rank them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:24 PM Flag
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Right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:26 PM Flag
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Does anyone know when the drawing will be? I was at the District Office and asked ... and nobody there knew. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:26 PM Flag
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why the hell are they giving away lottery spots when we just went through a big fall of debate and strife over the overcrowding in d3? does this make any sense whatsoever? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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Well, 199 doesn't have any lottery spots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:32 PM Flag
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They will only give away spots if they have spots. Which means maybe they won't. It's not complicated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:40 PM Flag
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well, they are asking people to register now, and saying they may w/l people who sign up later. I think they should not give lottery spots until august if this is the case, so that people who move after march can still go to their zoned school ahead of lottery picks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:49 PM Flag
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Why is that more important than kids who need spots now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:51 PM Flag
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because it takes away the option of moving to a decent zone once G&T results are out. people won't know if it makes sense to move. that is bad. taking away that option for the MC s very bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:52 PM Flag
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But it might make it possible for kids without as much wealth to get a good education (since they usually live in a less expensive zone). Do they deserve it less than the kids with parents who can afford to move into that zone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:56 PM Flag
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yes. btw, most kids who get lottery spots these days are not the poor and disenfranchised. they are as wealthy, but bought up in morningside heights as opposed to the 70s/80s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:05 PM Flag
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Kids in Morningside Heights are not as wealthy as kids in the 70s-80s, by and large. Not nearly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:07 PM Flag
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yes, my df living ther makes hhi of $300K, and we are around $350K. c'mon! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:08 PM Flag
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Well, that is anecdotal. My df living there has hhi of more like 120K. Will you be angry at her if she doesn't send her kid to the unsafe zoned school, because your school told her it was fine with them? That's not fair either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:10 PM Flag
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schools all over the country are there for the people living in the area. it isn't about fair. its about what is most feasible. people cannot NOT count on their zoned schools. will be a head on disaster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:13 PM Flag
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But don't take it out on the parents who are told this is an option and are doing the best they can for their kids. Should they abstain from the lottery in support of other people who hope to buy new apartments? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:38 AM Flag
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that isn't the issue. people need to have options. if parents cannot count on being able to attend their zoned school unless they live in a zone by march, that will cause mayhem in terms of the real estate market. people need to know what they are buying or renting into before they commit. it will be a big problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:07 PM Flag
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this is the real issue. it is a problem not to be able to go into a contract for real estate because you don't know what school you will land in. not that way anywhere else in the country and will be a big mistake here if that happens. lotteries should be out until the last minute. if anything is left it goes on the lottery block. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:10 PM Flag
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I do see that point. Is the system different than it was last year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:11 PM Flag
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yes, and it is going to be a huge mess. have no stake in this as myy dc is in later grade. but does not make sense to take away the zoned public option because the spots have allready gone to the lottery by march. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:14 PM Flag
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I agree it is an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:02 AM Flag
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This is the DoE's inability to deny there is a major inequality in quality of Ed. Any seats in a D3 lottery should be limited to participants outside the district, where there iare often no decent gen eds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 05:27 AM Flag
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No. That makes no sense whatsoever. The spots should be for families living in the zone right up until end of aug, and then dole out lottery spots in d3. To bus kids all over is a waste of resources. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:15 AM Flag
[ - ] How much emphasis does Sacred Heart put on its applicants' personality and behavior? Little girl from dc's preschool is apparently getting positive feedback, and I'm frankly shocked ... she's very aggressive (still bites, hits, spits), and I'm just surprised they'd consider a child who exhibits that sort of behavior regularly. I have a ds, and we're going public, so doesn't affect me personally in any way, but I was really surprised when the mother told me. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:59 PM Flag
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Meanest dd in my dc's preschool class got into csh (wasn't parents' fc, but that's where she ended up). Very physically aggressive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:07 PM Flag
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I know someone who is taking her child out of CSH before the girls are so mean to her DD. I was shcked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 03:01 AM Flag
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How does your preschool cope with biting behavior? Some will not tolerate (it is genuinely dangerous to other dcs--human bites can cause very serious infections) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:45 AM Flag
[ - ] How much does having having multiple ivy degrees between both parents count in the admissions process? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 02.02.09, 07:54 PM Flag
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Not at Saint Ann's. They don't even ask for that info on the application. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:56 PM Flag
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Not much. In my small observed sample of last year's class at my DCs pre-school, there were several Ivy-educated couples with high-ERB DCs who did not do so well or were outright SO, conversely the couples who seemed to get in anywhere (again with high ERB DCs) were the ones with more interesting careers independent of where they went to school. Again, very small sample so.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:00 PM Flag
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I can't even remember any of the apps asking for this info. Funny. I remember the preschool apps asking for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] How much does having having multiple ivy degrees between both parents count in the admissions process? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 02.02.09, 07:52 PM Flag
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lots! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:52 PM Flag
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sorry, meant to post on NY school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:54 PM Flag
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Not as much as if you read to your kids and they are not spoiled brats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:03 PM Flag
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hmm, not sure, honestly. in my dc's K class at a school UB definitely considers TT, there were at least 7 kids out of 18 who had 2 Ivy League grad parents and at least 5 more who had 1 (i didn't actually know that off the top of my head, by the way ... your post interested me, so i went back and counted up what i could remember :-)). but it's not necessarily clear that the school CARED ... it's reasonable to assume that children of 2 Ivy League parents have a higher-than-average likelihood of being intelligent, too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Single mom of 2. I like a boy (okay's he DD's health teacher). He's recently separated but dating. How do I approach him? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:51 PM Flag
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a boy? or a man? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:52 PM Flag
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a man, but i feel silly b/c he's a high school health teacher and it all seems so juvenile. If it was in another setting, I would feel comfortable flirting/approaching him, but b/c he's DD's teacher, and because I don't want it to go around that I went after Mr. G. if he's not interested, i feel awkward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:54 PM Flag
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ask him out for coffee [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:56 PM Flag
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tell me the words to use so that if he was not interested, I will not be mortified at the next school event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:02 PM Flag
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"hey, do you want to grab a cup of coffee tomorrow?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:04 PM Flag
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ask him out, if he says yes then go out with him, tell your dd that she's failing health but mommy will convince the teacher not to give her an F! If your dd goes to a private school then conduct your dates in dive bars, if she goes to a public school then eat out at Le Chateau. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:00 PM Flag
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wheni w was in 5th grade my divorced dad dated my teacher and it was VERY VERY AWKWARD. please do not go there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:03 PM Flag
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If you want to be in a committed monogamous relationship or marry, do not waste your precious time (and emotional energy) approaching men. Men who are interested will always find a way to approach you first. Chasing your child's cute health teacher is embarrassing for the teacher, you and your child. Either way, approaching and chasing men leads to a broken heart. Do not date employees at your child's school. As the old expression goes, it's sh*tt*ng where you eat. Parents will gossip about you in an unflattering way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 11:36 PM Flag
[ - ] What was your favorite subject in school? 10 points if it was math, 25 points if you took math in college, 100 points if you majored in math, 1000 points if your current job involves actual math (not arithmetic) 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:51 PM Flag
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35 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:53 PM Flag
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1035 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:54 PM Flag
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how about art >> went to art school >> am working successfully in art? 'Cause for me it's 6 figures of points with art. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:55 PM Flag
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Sure, but where do you get 6 figures from? Max is 1135. Obviously math wasn't your favorite subject! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:19 PM Flag
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Yes to all of the above, but I'm a DH... do I still get points? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:05 PM Flag
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Sure, just tell me what e^(pi*i) is, and why [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:20 PM Flag
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-1. Because Euler said so.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:25 PM Flag
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lol, nice googling job, i was looking for an actual explanation. sorry, guess you're not "mathy" enough! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:30 PM Flag
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well his actual formula is e^ix = cosx+isinx, and I don't really know enough about complex analysis to know why this is true, nor can I remember the proof. But since cos(pi) = -1 ans sin(pi) = 0 we get e^i*pi = cos(pi)+isin(pi) = -1+0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:38 PM Flag
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that's all on the wikipedia site honey. and by the way, e^ix = cosx+isinx is not "complex analysis" it's simple calculus/taylor series which I believe was taught in high school itself. therefore, i am taking away your points. try again later! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:44 PM Flag
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1135' phd. wall street. Literature. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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What you mean by Literature? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:31 PM Flag
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Favorite subject. Overall. Was good at math -really good, but loved literature. Tragedy of my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:42 PM Flag
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then your true score is 1125 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:45 PM Flag
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^^^ p.s. how is that a "tragedy"? there are these things called "books" :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:47 PM Flag
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I loved math a lot - I did very well. I got PHD in ivy.I just realized that if I was not born in USSR, I would have never chosen math as a profession. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:49 PM Flag
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You need time to read books. It all this time is taken by work and a kid, and a social life, etc, And when you get to reading you feel that you are robbed, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:51 PM Flag
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yeah, but chances are your net income would have been a lot less, especially compared to wall street [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:58 PM Flag
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True. But do I care in the end of the day. Can switch to Gap from MaxMara any day (assuming that it work off my exrta 8 pound) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:01 PM Flag
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Social Studies. I know. A big fat zero. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:45 PM Flag
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Why do you ask? A professional mathematician here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:42 PM Flag
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Just curious how many women were/are "into" math. A lot of my friends growing up got scared away, don't want dd to face the same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:48 PM Flag
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same here. checked out after phd. shouldn' have done so - got intimidated . DH is a prominent mathematician. So far she is doing good - but i am into long term experiment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 09:57 PM Flag
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I liked math alot but I think science was my favorite course (or maybe French Literature), I took math in college (dosen't everyone?), I majored in a natural science but went on to law school, I use math everyday at work (distressed investing). So that gives me 1025 points. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:58 AM Flag
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Cool. No, not everyone takes math in college. At some liberal arts schools you only have to take one "techie" class which can include math or science. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:06 AM Flag
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1025 and I hate numbers. I was an English major. Go figure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:03 AM Flag
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1135 (analytical marketing) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:05 AM Flag
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Congrats, you're the high scorer! Analytical marketing sounds neat - lots of stats, right? I remember doing logistic regression in college re: marketing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:20 AM Flag
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I get a big fat 0! No, wait, I get 25 because I got to take a remedial math class in college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:07 AM Flag
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25 points, if college calculus 101 counts as math [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:13 AM Flag
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^and I got a "C" in it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:15 AM Flag
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I get a lovely round zero! I'm so far over onto the language side of the spectrum it's insane! I'm a professional musician, but have noticed that although many of my colleagues fit the math/music model, many others are the language/music types, including myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:20 AM Flag
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I am (was) an engineer. (SAHM now). Not sure if this counts as majoring in math or not, but I would think it should for the purposes of this question. Definitely my favorite subject in school though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:29 AM Flag
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how many points? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:30 AM Flag
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Math was my fave. My points would be 1085, as i gave myself half credit for minoring in math (major was econ plus mba - lots of stats). I am sahm, but in my prior life, i did use math in my work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Opinion: Alzheimer's mom here (DH is 62 w/moderate/severe alzheimer's). Dh moved to assisted living last year. Am I allowed to date? (DCs are 14, 12, 8, and 6) 86 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:50 PM Flag
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i'm so sorry. cannot imagine your situation. not sure how i would explain dating to dcs while still married to dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:54 PM Flag
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I also am sorry, this must be difficult for you. That being said, absolutely not okay. Having an ill father, not at home, is hard enough. How would you ever explain to your children what you are doing. The would likely resent you forever. What happens if you fall in love with a man. Would you divorce your husband? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:57 PM Flag
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No, I wouldn't divorce DH, and would have to lay all my cards on the table. But the reality is that he could live in this altered state for 20 years and I think that DSs could use a father figure (eventually). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:00 PM Flag
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Do you have a living father, brother, uncles, cousins, your husband's father? Aren't there male family members who can step up to the plate and help fill that gap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:02 PM Flag
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yes,and they do but not on a daily basis which what i think the 6 yo needs. I've thought about Big Brothers but I remain nervous though I know they are rigorous screened b/c these kids can't take another trauma. But I feel like DSs long for a man around the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:05 PM Flag
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np You're looking to date a man with a view to having him around on a "daily basis". Cart before the horse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:13 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:17 PM Flag
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she needs the support for herself, and in fact it will make her a better caretaker of her dh. Her dh is not the same man, and in a real sense he is no longer an adult. He is no obstacle to her dating, and her children, once grown will understand it. In fact, if she explains to them that she needs to be able to socialize, they will grow up with greater understanding and will probably be better partners themselves when the time comes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:10 AM Flag
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Nice. I guess you could explain your actions thusly to your kids, "Yes, dears, I love your father, but he is now so much less of a man these days and I REALLLLY need to get FUCKED! You'll understand when you grow up." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:04 PM Flag
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np: unnecessarily harsh. OP is looking for helpful advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:05 PM Flag
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yes, and there's that too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:05 PM Flag
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ITTTA! Hell, why not even bring Mr. New Boyfriend in to your visits with your lame husband? He probably won't remember you're cuckolding him anyway! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:08 PM Flag
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you are truly nasty and a fool for making such statements to OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:11 AM Flag
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*this excuse works not just for degenerative brain diseases, but also in the event of DH's small penis, weight gain, or unemployment! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:09 PM Flag
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OP: That's just so stupid. I love DH. Fact of the matter is that while DH recognizes me, the man I married no longer exists. He was brilliant. He can no longer make a cup of coffee or control his bodily functions. I mourned the loss of my husband, and now I provide him with the very best care that I can so that he is safe and comfortable. At the same time, I am attempting to show my DCs that despite this tragedy, there is joy in world; that their lives will go on; I am trying despite these most fucked up circumstances to give them a normal world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:16 PM Flag
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Your DH is still ALIVE. What's fucked up is you're trying to shove him into a premature grave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:18 PM Flag
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ITTA. Shameful. Maybe she was a 'ho all along, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:21 PM Flag
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I think your intentions are noble and your situation is one that no one can judge unless she's in it as well. My heart breaks for you and your dcs. But I don't think this is the place to get advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 02:23 AM Flag
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i think you should do whatever you you 2 agree upon and explain it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:04 PM Flag
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I'm sorry about your situation, but I don't think you can date yet. Alzheimer's is degenerative, it's gonna get worse for your DH and your kids are going to need to cling to you through the hard times. I think you should wait to date [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:06 PM Flag
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he could detriorate over years and years. is her life supposed to end, too? shes not abandoning him, just living her own life while taking care of him. she wants to date, you can tell by the question, so why shouldnt she? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:09 PM Flag
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b/c of the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:10 PM Flag
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she can explain whats going on in a positive way. she's dating, not getting married. its alzeheimers and he doesnt live at home anymore. its not like he is recovering from cancer and is coming home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:12 PM Flag
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hmmm. my 15 yo wouldn't buy that. how can you love and be married to dh, and date someone else? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:13 PM Flag
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^6 alsso better that her kids see her living a happy and full life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:13 PM Flag
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She should wait a few years--until her youngest is 9 or 10, at least--if she wants to do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:15 PM Flag
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Well, in her wedding vows, did she agree to "in SICKNESS and in health" and "til death do us part"? Or were her vows differently worded, something like "for the forseeable future, until the going gets rough"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:14 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:15 PM Flag
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TOTALLY TOTALLY AGREE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:28 PM Flag
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Your children long for their father...not mom's boyfriend. Many kids don't see their fathers for a significant amount of time during the weekday due to work schedules. I am sorry, but I just don't think it is wise. I also don't know how you could possibly explain it to your children -- especially your two oldest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:12 PM Flag
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ITTA. You may get some great orgasms out of it, but you may lose your kids forever. This is the kind of thing kids don't forgive their parents over. And let's be practical -- you're no spring chicken, honey ... you're going to need your kids for when God forbid YOU need assistance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:15 PM Flag
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np: how do you know how old OP is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:16 PM Flag
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She's married to a 62 year old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:18 PM Flag
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so? she has a 6 yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:19 PM Flag
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Your point is? This site is LOADED with granny-moms. HELLO! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:21 PM Flag
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OP: 41 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:21 PM Flag
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Are you cheating now, OP? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:22 PM Flag
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She probably is, and only posted this to validate her adultery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:23 PM Flag
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let he who is without sin cast the first stone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:29 AM Flag
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No, not even close. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I was just asking the question because someone asked me if I would like to be introduced to someone and I thought about it and I thought that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would want my DH to go out and have fun, and would like it if there was someone there to help raise my DCs. I have been faithfully married for 20 years, but suddenly became a sex-crazed ho in one post... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:26 PM Flag
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^^^OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:27 PM Flag
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Why don't you ask your DH if he would like you to start running around? I think you've got your answer right there! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:28 PM Flag
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No, no, no. I agree with wedding vow poster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:16 PM Flag
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ITTA. So sad that people don't take vows seriously. Did they think it was just a quaint thing to say during the ceremony? Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:19 PM Flag
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or - also, really don't think the kids would understand. OP just has to be a saint/nun/whatever until/unless youngest is old enough to understand that DH is truly gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:28 PM Flag
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maybe you like the old Indian system where the bride was thrown into the funeral fire if her dh passed? How is that for honoring the vows? Is that enough sacrifice for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:28 AM Flag
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Where did anyone suggest this? We're talking about taking wedding vows seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:36 AM Flag
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in that culture, that WAS how a bride took her vows seriously. You are limited in your understanding of how these things work. And OP took vows but she fulfills them by continuing to love and care for her dh. She does not need to live the next decade without mature male companionship any more than a bride needs to throw herself into a funeral fire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.04.09, 07:56 AM Flag
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I am so sorry you are getting such rude replies. I am amazed by the amount of idiots on this site. You should be happy. Also, maybe you need to get clarity with DH's family members so that they are on board if you decide to date. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:25 PM Flag
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np. I'm not sorry. The woman took vows. She has a RESPONSIBILITY. I know that's a politically incorrect word these days for this current self-absorbed generation, but it's the truth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:27 PM Flag
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Okay, Holy roller. If you look at marriages historically there are lots of unique situations where flexibility is warranted. Part of marriage (and the vows, since you are such a thumper) is having sex. When that requirement isn't met, than the marriage is actually less valid. I am so shocked by how threatened everyone is that this woman is trying to build a normal life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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But what is "normal"? What if DH just simply gained weight and became unattractive to her? Is that enough to justify the wild sex that in her mind would be a "normal" life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:32 PM Flag
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That's a silly analogy. Her husband did not simply get fat. He has a horrific deginerative disease and I'm amazed at the men and women who live through watching a love one die from this disease. And it's about 10 to 15 years of dying much like watching someone die from AIDS. I'm sure OP doesn't take her vows lightly, but she is clearly hurting and looking for answers any where. Especially if she came on this board. I would tell OP and others like her to stay away from here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:56 PM Flag
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np, and ITA. Marriage, in addition to sex is also simple companionship, and she also does not have that. Its inhuman to think she would be dishonoring her vows to spend time with other people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:14 AM Flag
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I have no problem with you dating OP, but I think I would wait a bit until your two youngest were in the double digits age-wise. I'm very sorry for your circumstances. Alzheimer's is a scum-sucking, life-sucking pig of a disease. I wouldn't ask for advice on this board. I'm sure there is an Alzheimer's support group or web site who could be more helpful. For you youngest son who is having a hard time and looking for some male-input, perhaps look into The Boys Club. It's is a wonderful organization. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:29 PM Flag
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When I say double digits, I mean before bringing another man around your kids. Otherwise, if you'll looking for some fun nights out and to get your groove on. Keep it discreet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:31 PM Flag
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yes, you can date--you can have a friend and not share that part of your life with your children. Be discreet and set limits for yourself that you can adhere to---As a caregiver you need support as well and a caring relationship will do that for you-- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:50 AM Flag
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ITA. The replies you have received above are shocking and show these people have no clue what it means to have become your dh's caregiver. By remaining his wife according to the law, you are able to direct his care so that he is treated well. But he is in no way able to reciprocate. You should date for YOU. Your kids will be fine without a father figure. These idiots who posted above would probably dump their dhs if they looked at porn, certainly if there was a hint their dh had strayed. They have a weird, very rigid view of marriage. You show your love for your dh by caring for him, but to pretend the relationship has not changed (and that he can reciprocate) is ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:08 AM Flag
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I agree with th "yes, you can date" poster. It's awful that you and your children have to go through this terrible experience. But I think part of going through it requires the responsibility and sacrifice that you're already doing. I think that you need to separate your desire for true male companionship from your desire for "normal" life with husband/father at home. In order to get the former, you can initiate romantic and platonic friendships with men. But keep the romantic relationship separate from your kids. To get the father-figure, ask relatives and friends to be more consistently available, if possible. And consider the big brother program. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:27 AM Flag
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I think this is the wisest post. You can date, but you need to keep it private and not share it with your children. That's too much for them to deal with on top of their dad's illness. The dating should be for you, not your dc's. You may want a father figure and a companion, but your dc's will see that man as an interloper who is taking the place of their real father and resent you and him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:47 AM Flag
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Wow. Tough situation. No, you should not date because the children really need you right now. They do not need the confusion of another person in their lives. When would you have time to date with 4 kids! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:31 AM Flag
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NO. Did you not understand "for better or for worse".... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:36 AM Flag
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Clearly she didn't. Or she didn't mean it when she said it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:05 AM Flag
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Look at it this way: If you date, you will be breaking the marriage vows you made before God (no matter what religion you are; I am not Christian but we still had the element of lifelong commitment in there). If you are okay with breaking your vows, which many people are, then go ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:52 AM Flag
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ITTA. And if you're going to hurt your husband by breaking your vows, why not go whole hog and parade your studmuffins around your kids, as well? Hell, they might as well know the truth about their mother, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:06 AM Flag
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NP: I'm seriously wondering what is WRONG with some of you women. I get that some of you enjoy kicking strangers around on the internet when they deviate from your black-and-white sense of the "right" way to live - but save it for bankers who got too big a bonus or women that don't breastfeed by choice. The OP has real problems, she's looking for real advice, not your stupid insults. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:13 AM Flag
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It IS advice. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it "stupid" or "insulting". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:15 AM Flag
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It's not "advice" AT ALL. It's taking pot shots at someone in a difficult situation, just because you can. And it's awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:18 AM Flag
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What's "awful" is breaking marriage vows and throwing away another human being before he's even dead because he's become "inconvenient". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:19 AM Flag
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She isn't throwing him away - she is going to continue to love and care for him but he is no longer able to be a husband. I would want my husband to find companionship if I became so mentally incapacitated! And I have told him that! I also know that he would continue to love me and care for me forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:43 AM Flag
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i think you confuse the word date - you really shouldn't date while this is going on - the implications of what it can do to your kids is too much. but at the same time, i understand you missing the affection of your husband - and that you would like to experience that again. you have to proceed cautiously. it is not like you can just go out and date. you can't bring this person you date home. maybe there are support groups for people in the same situation? because i can't imagine what it must be like to see your husband but know it's not him anymore in there - and how you must so much want that back in your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 08:54 AM Flag
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I'm sure it's very hard - but my Dad got sick and has been in a wheelchair since he was 30. My Mom has stood by him for the past 35 years. I respect her more than anyone in the world. It would have broken my heart if she had dated as I love my Dad so much. They're both the most amazing parents. But they took a vow to love eachother and remain faithful in sickness and in health. That's what marriage is to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:02 AM Flag
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THANK YOU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:07 AM Flag
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in a wheelchair is TOTALLY different from cognitively impaired as in ALZ. OP, do not make such comparisons, as they are not correct. YOu who had a father in a wheelchair, he could still carry on an intelligent conversation, provide sympathetic responses, etc., couldn't he? He could understand you and your mother, couldn't he? Asking OP to continue to get her needs met via her dh does a disservice to him as well as to her. And the "ho" comments above are beyond belief. People sure are dumb sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:27 AM Flag
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your dad is sick, but he's not a vegetable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:08 AM Flag
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Neither are Alzheimer's patients. He's not in a coma. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:09 AM Flag
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he can't remember her, can't remember who he is, can't remember they're married, can't remember his kids. Alzheimers is as close to being dead as you can be. There is no sense in which a person with Alzheimers could be said to be a husband, and that has zero to do with sex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:13 AM Flag
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So if he's "already dead", why not just end his life right now and put him out of his misery? Just take him out back in the parking lot with a .45 and put him down like Old Yeller ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:14 AM Flag
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The Inuit would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:32 AM Flag
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he needs total care and help with EVERYTHING. He's a quadriplegic. And please don't use the word vegetable -that is VERY offensive to me. You're not a very sensitive person at ALL. Despite that, he is probably the most amazing person I've ever met in my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:11 AM Flag
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I think she was calling the Alzheimer's DH a "vegetable" which is equally offensive. If he's such a burden, why doesn't DW just put him out of his misery right now? He could be in the ground by Friday, inheritance in the bank by next Tuesday, and in the sack with Mr. Hottie that morning! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:13 AM Flag
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Not totally answering your question, but have you seen "Away from Her"? It's just a movie, but the perspectives on love and Alzheimer's might be helpful to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 09:10 AM Flag
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Dating is risky business when children are involved. You'd certainly want to make sure that a new man was a keeper before you brought him around--enough loss already. Is there a way to date for yourself and find another solution for the role model for the kids. I'm so sorry for your difficulty. No one here should judge. I doubt a single one of the nasty posters has ever had any hardship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 10:34 AM Flag
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Ask your kids how long they think you should wait? I am assuming they are adults if their father is 62. Tell them you are lonely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:35 AM Flag
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read the post! they are kids... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:44 AM Flag
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Seriously, those of you who are calling names (and pretending to be the compassionate ones) would all expect your husbands to remain faithful to you even if you spent decades not recognizing them? It seems selfish and not anything close to a marriage. I love my dh and he loves me and we have discussed this very scenario. If one of us looses our mental abilities, we have decided that the other one should feel able to eventually fall in love again, while continuing to always love and care for the ill spouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] bank street nursery applicants: comment on playdate feedback. positive?, detailed? accurate? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 02.02.09, 07:32 PM Flag
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it is a particular point of view. you either buy into it or your don't. they are good at noting things. It is the interpretation that is questionable. For some kids, it can be a good fit though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:37 PM Flag
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what type of kids would you say tend to fit in that environment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:41 PM Flag
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upper west side pseudo intellectuals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:45 PM Flag
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that describes the parents, not the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:56 PM Flag
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or: actually kids who are a bit low energy, compliant and on the young side in terms of reliance on adults and interests. people always say independent and creative kids for progressive schools, but this is not at all true, especially for bank street. they are really a group activity model, led by adults. so kids need to be sort of young, compliant and dependent on adults for how to behave and work. if they are not like this, they will run into trouble, particularly in the early years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:56 PM Flag
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np: spot on! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:30 PM Flag
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sounds right -- city & country is like this, as well. the kids need to be self-starters but in accordance with the group mode as prescribed by the teacher-- there is really no room for the passionate divergers and individualists. it is a community approach in a kind of 1930s vocational model and it is hilarious that it is still considered "progressive," unless that term is used in he same way "modernism" does not mean contemporary. bank st. and c&c are not progressing in a contemporary way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 08:59 PM Flag
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This totally explains why ECFS didn't seem "progressive" at all to me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:35 AM Flag
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But I'd say that ECFS does support the individual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:51 AM Flag
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yes, progressive means a particular teaching method, not a "new" teaching method. Fieldston has used the same teaching method for over 100 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 06:54 AM Flag
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ouch! that doesn't sound good. I was really impressed with the feedback from K application process though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 07:40 AM Flag
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THANKS. this is great feedback. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.03.09, 04:31 PM Flag
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they are full of crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.02.09, 07:39 PM Flag
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