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[ - ] I have twin daughters and am spend way too much time and of course $$ on their wardrobes. I've already spotted 3-4 coats that I would love to get them (don't flame, I will probably end up with 1 or 2 each) and forget it with shoes...spent a huge amount of time on zappos looking at girl shoes. ANyone else have this problem? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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do you think what they look like reflects on your worth as a mom or a woman ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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can you afford it? If so I don't see a problem. If you are going into debt or something that is a different story [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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I have 2 dds and am the same way. There are just too many cute things out there for girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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I'm the same way. I have a 6 month old and whenever I go shopping I always come back with something for her. Her summer wardrobe is sick..there's so much. However, I've always been into baby wardrobes even before I had her. And I do keep it within our budget. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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Can you think about it from the dd's point of view, is this the kind of values you want to be raising your dds with? What kind of effect is this having on the dds and their forming values system and what is important and right to them, and their future spending habits? I remember my mother was fairly frugal with buying clothes for us and now I have the same buying habits, or that is, not much of a buying habit at all and I'm confident I'm doing my part to teach my dc similarly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 03:25 PM Flag
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Girls have too much to deal with in life to get ahead without being taught that appearance should be a time consuming area of focus. Excessive time spent preening in the mirror or shopping as a pre-teen or teen not only can have negative effect of weak self-confidence and self-worth, but it is also time taken away from studying and fine tuning their minds and strengthening emotions to help them effectively deal with the real world. It might sound like a far jump from your shopping habit to your dds' ability to get ahead in life on their own, but they are the object of your clothes obsession, and they will internalize the lesson from you that this is important to focus their own time and energies in the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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You have a brief amount of time where you have full input into what your children will wear. If you enjoy choosing clothing for them - do just that. If you are spending too much, cut back. I REALLY enjoy buying dds clothing, don't spend a fortune (maybe a bit too much webtime) and am not disappointed when they don't like my favorite picks as much as I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] what do you do about packages if you don't have a doorman? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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have them delivered to your office? or pick them up at post office. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:21 AM Flag
[ - ] for those w/ 2 dcs: what do you do for #2's nap when #1 needs to go outside to play or to class? my dc #2 is 4mos and I feel like her am nap is sacrificed (in the stroller/on the go) so I can move around outside w/ dc #1. which do you think is more important? keep #1 at home so #2 can nap, or bring #2 out so #1 can go out & play? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 06:24 AM Flag
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I am dealing with that now also. I have some help a few days a week so I can be with the older one and the baby stays home. When I am alone, if the older one has to be at camp/school, the baby has to nap in the stroller. In the afternoon, I try to get baby to nap at home and older child and I hang out for awhile and then when baby is up, we all go to the park together. I am still working on my "schedule" it is really tough! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:25 AM Flag
[ - ] At 19 I gave up a baby for adoption. Now DH and I cannot concieve. I just got my period this AM. I am heartbroken. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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I'm so sorry to hear that you got your period this morning. How long have you been TTC? Maybe it will happen just not yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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15 months so far... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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^^ only 8 months seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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do you ever consider finding your dc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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no. that is a closed door unless she wants to open it at some point in her life, and even at that I am not sure how I would feel. I believe that I gave her a life and a good home and I don't know what I can give more than that... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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it sounds like your dh needs to get tested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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peobably [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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how old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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34 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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try for a year and then go to an RE. Have dh's sperm checked in the meantime - just have him call a urologist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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four more months since you said only trying for 8 months seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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yes. 8 months seriously and never really trying NOT to get pregnant before that. DH should probably get tested as other poster said, but the idea that I gave away a child and may not have one of my own easily is torturous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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np: to be honest I would go get tested now, since you haven't been preventing pgncy and it's been a while. Both of you should get tested--it could nothing, it could be an easy fix, but at least you'll now. It has to be hard having been pg before and chosen adoption for your child--you did a great thing there. We adopted both of our kids and I can't tell you how grateful I am to their birthmothers and how much I respect them for the choice they made. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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thank you. I know I did what was right for me and for her at the time and I wouldn't change anything. I don't even really feel "why me", but I feel very sad... almost like good actions are just that and don't get you a return on the "investment" or anything... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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Remember that getting pg has nothing to do w/ how good a person you are, etc. I've never been pg and struggling w/ infertility was so hard. But it really all worked out the way it needed to. I would just go ahead and get checked out. Pick up a copy of Take Charge of Your Fertility if you haven't already, and assume it will work out. And you did a great, great thing for your DD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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don't wait longer. If you think there might be a problem, go to a RE now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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I am going to make an appointment. I have read about "secondary infertility" when you have one child but cannot have another one and I want to find out about that... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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good luck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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don't forget - its with two different men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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yes. trust me, that I cannot forget !!! very different... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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np, good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:27 AM Flag
[ - ] What is normal hourly rate to pay nanny in NYC? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:11 AM Flag
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$10 to $17. DOE, number of dc, etc, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:26 AM Flag
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np: what's DOE? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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depending on exact? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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depending on Experience [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 09:01 AM Flag
[ - ] I found a love email my DH wrote to the other woman today. So I forwarded her the email and asked her how long she has been involved with him and didn't it matter to her that he is married with 2 dc 37 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:32 PM Flag
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I am so sorry. Maybe you can work through it? GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 04:32 AM Flag
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Is she married? She might be worried about her cover being blown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 04:36 AM Flag
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Don't know - I asked her how long it has been going on - she didn't answer and asked me to leave her alone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:07 AM Flag
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What nerve. Why doesn't SHE leave your family alone? I am so sorry to hear about this. Have you sought couple's counseling? I think you guys need one... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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I tried to get him to go to counseling - he refused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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I am so sorry. That is awful. What are you going to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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I don't know. I don't even know that it will be up to me. Don't know if he is going to stay or leave. Just so hurt and confused right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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I just don't understand if he wants you to suck it up and accept that he has affairs or if he is planning to leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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what did DH say ?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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He didn't mean to hurt me. Won't answer questions on how long or whether or not she knew he was married with kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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won't answer question ? So it's a topic that has to die ? How do you do that ?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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So hard - not sure how much I want to know or how much it will help. Right now I know I can't just let it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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What does that mean? Does he want to stay married and still have the affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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As easy as it is to be angry at the othet woman, it is your husband who broke his promises to you and your dc. Try your very best to focus on him and not her. I know, easier said then done... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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ITA - it's really he who betrayed you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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she has nothing to do with it - confront him - he's the problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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and chances are she is not the first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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well, she has SOMETHING to do with it, don't you think? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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no, np and in all honesty she lives her life and it has nothing to do with you and your husband. It's hard, but you really have to focus on you and your dc. That's it. You might find comfort in finding a therapist you can talk to especially in the beginning anger stages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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I'm not OP. I know her dh is at fault but it doesn't absolve that woman either. Just bec i dind't make a vow to you all, I'm not going to have affairs with your husbands knowing they're married. IT'S STILL a matter of morality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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This is very odd. Why are you discussing anything or being in contact in any way-with this woman? Did she call/e-mail/text/write to you? I'm sorry for you and even sorrier that you aren't focusing on your damaged relationship with your partner. I know how devastating this betrayal must be, yet remember- You do not want to engage this woman at ALL. This will not bring you any relief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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I'm not OP but my BIL cheated on my sis and know the grief. OP, there is hope! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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she never took vows with you. she never even met you. she hasn't had children with you. she never broke promises to you or deceived you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Well yeah, it takes two to tango, but your anger should be directed at him, not her. He's the one who betrayed you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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She didn't have any commitment to OP or her dc. I think what she did was pretty slimy, but it wasn't a personal affront. Her DH's actions were personal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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I wonder how many of the cocky Hamptons moms (who claim not to care if their husbands are fooling around) would feel in your situation. i advise they not look at their DHs emails. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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When you snoop you usually can find something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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GET A GREAT DIVORCE ATTY ASAP and bring that email too. Take this cheating f'er to the cleaners!!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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Unless OP and her DH have a lot of money or can't agree on custody, skip the attorney. A great attorney in NYC will set you back $100K-$200K per spouse. It can really eat into the assets to be divided, and sometimes leave one or both spouses in debt. Mediation can be much better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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ITDA. ALso, I wonder if she can go after the slut too for interference in the marriage contract? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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um, no. and OP should take care of herself and her kids in the dissolution rather than worrying about hurting other people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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do you keep posting this idea or is there something in the water? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Thank you for those who responded. I know my actions in retaliating against the other woman were stupid and will help nothing but finding out that my DH has had an affair for years is painful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.03.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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The people who have responded to this post calling the "other" woman SLUT and other awful names amaze me. This other woman has nothing to do with the OP's marriage...it is her husband who broke marriage vows. I think women who blame the "other woman" are tremendously insecure and in denial about where the real blame lays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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spoken like a cheater [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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Wow, you have a hard time with people's opinion you don't like don't you? Not a cheater. Happily married for 5.5 years..I'm just amazed at how women project the hate they feel towards their husbands for cheating onto "other" woman and how additional other women collude with the wife to do that...it's unhealthy... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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I think it is fair to pass judgment on a woman who gets involved with a married man with kids. If she didn't know about his family, that's one thing... but if she did, I'd say that she has at the least questionable moral character. That being said, the OP should direct her anger towards her husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.04.08, 12:09 PM Flag
[ - ] i did it: i texted him and got it out in the open. this is going to be fun 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:16 PM Flag
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what out in the open? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:33 PM Flag
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affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I am looking for a baby nurse for the end of August when I am due. I would appreciate any referrals or recommendations. I also am wondering if it is worth it to have a baby nurse for a week just during the day since our place is very small and I mainly want someone to teach me the basic things a new mom needs to know how to do. I want to breastfeed as well and hope the baby nurse can help with this too. Thanks 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 08.01.08, 09:07 PM Flag
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if that is all you need her for, it isn't worth it, imho. can take a basic care class if you want or work with a lactation consultant or go to a bf support group (I liked the stuff at realbirth). if your place is small, you may not want someone around that much. i also found that my instincts kicked in, despite never really babysitting or ever being around young db's. learn to trust your instincts. gl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 04:40 AM Flag
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I think it's totally worth it. She can spend some time showing you things, as well as watch db in between feedings so you can get some rest. We had one that was wonderful but I don't want to post her info here. email me if you want: mel92@yahoo.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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You may want a doula. A baby nurse is usually 24 hours a day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 07:27 AM Flag
[ - ] I recently went in for an ultrasound to check the fetal growth/weight and was told my baby is 5 lbs. I was 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant.) I have only gained about 15 lbs and worry a lot about the baby's health. Has anyone had similar experience with an estimated low weight fetus? Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I am delivering this month at Cornell. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 08.01.08, 09:02 PM Flag
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Did you ask your OB? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 12:11 AM Flag
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I had the same worry although I didn't get an ultrasound to check fetal growth. From what I've heard most times the estimates are wrong. A small baby is not necessarily an unhealthy baby so please try not to worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 02:34 AM Flag
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I don't think 5 lbs at 35 weeks *is* underweight, is it? It's still got another 5 weeks to go. In any case, I was exactly the same, didn't gain that much, they started getting all hysterical that the baby was underweight, then on my due date I had an ultrasound that estimated the weight at close to 9 lbs, and later that same day dd was born a little over 7 lbs! They're only estimates. Talk to your OB, and try not to worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 03:57 AM Flag
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I am no MD but that doesn't sound low to me. The baby gains rapidly at the end and you have a ways to go, especially since many people deliver a week or so late-you baby has 5-6 weeks to go. A 6-7 lb. baby is normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 04:35 AM Flag
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those things are usually off. it was lower by 2 lbs with my first dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 04:40 AM Flag
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I don't think 5 lbs is low. The baby will gain about 1/2 lb. each week until week 40--so s/he will be at least a healthy 7.5 lbs. (and BTW, I only gained 18 lbs and had a absolutely healthy 8lb 11 oz boy. The good news is that you lose all of your baby weight when you give birth. The bad news is that your weight has all be redistributed to your stomach... ugh!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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I gave birth to twins at Cornell at 38 weeks. I was so sick during the pregnancy that I lost weight all along. They were 5 lbs 12 oz and 6 lbs 7 oz. They left the hospital with me 3 days later. No health issues whatsoever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.08, 06:56 AM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? I invited a couple and their 1.5 yr old DS and a few other friends for an afternoon get together. The 1.5 yr old immediately went for the cheese and crackers on the table and began sucking on crackers and trying to dip them in the cheese and sucked on olives and put them back in the bowl, etc. Next time I will place the food out of reach and give him his own plate to avoid this problem, but I am surprised that his parents were blase about his behavior. Would you have said something? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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yuck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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I assume you have your own kids who were also there? Playdates are not venues for Park Avenue tea manners. Toddlers dip, it happens. I would have immediately taken the food to another area if it bothered you so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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DB is only 4 mos and theirs was the only other child. I had my hands full with DB since she was being fussy. I totally understand that toddlers dip but I am a bit annoyed that toddler's DPs didn't bother to intervene, especially since they are militant about DS not touching things at other people's homes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:05 PM Flag
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playdates are where children learn manners, respect and nice playing. it's called socialization. if you don't teach your kids those things from the get-go, they will never get it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:23 PM Flag
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if that was my child, he wouldn't have done it. But I wouldn't say something unless it was in a jokingly way to the parents of someone else's dc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:21 PM Flag
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Thanks! I couldn't think of anything to say at the time and didn't think I should have to say anything. I just felt bad for my other friends because they obviously stopped eating the food, although they did have some other food before the toddler arrived so they didn't go hungry. I didn't realize how fast toddlers are and that food got "tainted" really fast, too fast for saving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 09:28 PM Flag
[ - ] does anyone know the website for kids in sports? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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kisnyc.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.09, 07:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I buy Glow Sticks???? Not in NY btw. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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Oriental Trading Company [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Why is it so hard to get decent day car in Park Slope of all places? my 1 yr old has been on a wait list for 5 months and today they told me to call back in Nov. Unbelievable!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Because it IS Park Slope. Have you seen the number of strollers out there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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OP: you would think supply and demand would come into play at some point... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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True, but I think commercial rents there are too high for daycare businesses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.01.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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