• Filter the conversation
[ - ] Minorities complain about being people being racist but most of the racists comments I encounter on streets are also from other minorities different from my own race. I walked pass two guys today and kind of brushed pass them and as I was walking ahead, they first said sorry without realizing who I am then as soon as they saw my face they said racists comments about me being a Chin or Chinese…I pretend to not hear but is very annoyed. In these kind of situation do you say something back or do you not waste your time and ignore.. ? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:48 AM Flag
»
If they are not spraying you with a hose or hanging a noose on your mailbox, don't waste your time confronting a jerk. I only confront when someone puts there hands on me or get in my children's faces. Then I break their shit off. I'd guess I'd have a fight all time I confronted someone every time they called me the N-word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:04 PM Flag
»
I agree...plus with so many insane ppl, who knows you could say somethign back and they use it as an excuse to punch you in the face, or worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:15 PM Flag
»
thanks. just needed to vent a bit.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:16 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the *least* helpful thing your DH/sig other has said to you? Mine: "Are you ok?" (then continues watching tv, as I puke into the sink)... 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 12.08.08, 11:47 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:09 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:11 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:17 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:25 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:00 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:00 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:05 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:06 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:07 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:30 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Hi, I have a question abt advanced parental ages. my husband and I are 39 and had a healthy baby 6 months ago. No amnio: all tests were normal. We are thinking abt having another baby within 1-2 years, but are concerned aboout our age. Will definitely do an amnio next time, but there are many disorders and amnio will not detect. Any thoughts? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:42 AM Flag
»
you are too young to worry about this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:45 AM Flag
»
only in NY would you get this response! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:46 PM Flag
»
ita. definitely not too young. not even close. if really are serious about having another one, you should get pregnant now, not in 2 yrs. it'll be very difficult in the beginning, but you'll be happy to have your kids closer together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:50 PM Flag
»
np: yes, the bugaboo for nyc come with an optional walker for the parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:50 PM Flag
»
what disorders are you concerned about that amnio won't detect? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:45 AM Flag
»
the only thoughts are what you are willing to put yourselves through. i don't have trouble with the idea of having and keeping a challenged child, so to speak. I understand others feel very differently. I think its a deeply personal decision about whether you are prepared for those possible disorders, one only you can make. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:50 AM Flag
»
OP here. Sorry to say it, but I am not prepared to deal with any chronic illnesses: our lives are challenging enough with a healthy baby and a 17 year-old, about to go to college. Not to offend anyone in NYC, but isn't it scary to get pregnant and have babies after the big 4-0? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:56 AM Flag
»
This would be an issue at any age. Although the risk of downs is higher, I don't think the risk of any other genetic disease that doesn't show up in amnio is higher. So no matter what, it is always scary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:19 PM Flag
»
I had my first at 37, second at 41. Had amnio both times. Two healthy children (knock wood). You never know what you are going to get, and parental age has nothing to do with a lot of disorders (e.g., cancer, autism Asperger's, Tourette's, any kind of mental illness or personality disorders, learning diabilities, club foot, epilepsy, congenital heart disease, congenital hip dysplasia, to name a few). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Any advice on what to do about a sore back before it gets really bad. I had twins 7 months ago, and stomach muscles aren't what they used to be. Is there anything I could do at home (i.e., not yoga classes or chiropractor)? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
warm baths, try a pilates dvd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:41 AM Flag
»
Strength training. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:42 AM Flag
»
pilates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:42 AM Flag
»
reading john sarno books helped me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:43 AM Flag
»
google back exercises and see what you can handle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] what are you tipping doormen, handy men, super etc. this year? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 12.08.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:41 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:42 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:52 AM Flag
»
wow you are generous! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.08, 10:37 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:21 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:32 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:42 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:52 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:05 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:33 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:35 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:44 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:54 PM Flag
»
we give $50 to the 5 doorman we know and know us, then $300 to the general pool for all to share [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.08, 10:35 AM Flag
[ - ] which dollhouse would you rec for 4 y/o? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:38 AM Flag
»
Seriously. Why do you ask this every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:41 AM Flag
»
gosh, sorry, never asked before. guess i'm not the only one with a 4 y/o who wants a dollhouse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:45 AM Flag
»
We like the fisher price families one. You can generally find a good price-break on the house. But the rooms of furniture are expensive. We let the relatives know we were getting the house, so they could get rooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.08, 12:20 PM Flag
»
my dd isn't old enough yet, but when i was that age, i had a weeble wobble village. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.08, 12:22 PM Flag
»
ryan's room or melissa and doug [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.11.08, 12:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I hereby nominate John Thain for jerk of the day award, for demanding a $10 million bonus. JERK. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 12.08.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
Day? Week or month at least. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:36 AM Flag
»
Ok, you got me: Year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone take dc to see Santa at Bloomingdales or Macy's yet? What are the lines like? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 12.08.08, 11:29 AM Flag
»
The first person on line punched Santa so they shut it down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
Macy's or Bloomingdales?!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:46 AM Flag
»
I am kidding. I made it up. I figure everyone is so mad this year they would punch Santa out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:47 AM Flag
»
Oh, ha. I thought you might be right, since I can't find anything on the Macy's website about Santa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:49 AM Flag
[ - ] apparently the $hit is all going down at merrill and b of a next monday. a lot of layoffs coming. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
in addition to cs and db who took last week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
how do you know this? dh works at bofa and he hasn't said anything yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.08, 03:56 AM Flag
»
tell dh to ask around the bank - there has to be some scuttlebut on the layoffs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.08, 04:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Does your DH care about people that you dated/ hooked up with prior to meeting him. I think it is ridiculous that he wants me to divulge all of this type of info and gets very upset if I try to skirt the issue. I don't want to discuss this with him and I don't care what he did before me. Makes me think he has some issues of trust with me. Makes me sad because we have a great relationship- I think, except for this one bump in the road. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
My DH didn't care, but boy he doesn't want to know the truth. Tee. Hee. All kidding aside, if he wanted to know the number or specific acts, I would very matter of factly tell him 1. it was none of his business what I did before I met him and 2. I do not wish to discuss this topic in the future and if he persisted in bringing it up I would leave the room. Now if he wanted to know about STDs, have I've been tested for HIV or had an abortion I would answer those questions freely and honestly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:31 AM Flag
»
Oh, ask him why is he asking? If he says just curious, he lies like a rug. Oh, and have you guys been tested for everything? If my husband started questioning me about my partners, I would suspect an STD (perhaps a dormant one) has reared its ugly head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:34 AM Flag
»
OP: No STDs- no issues with pregnancy... I think it is a jealously thing or issue with not knowing me then. I don't really know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:40 AM Flag
»
OP: Oh I would def. be very honest when it came to those issues. The funny thing is my DH is the only person that I have slept with. I have tried telling him that I don't think it is his buisness nor is it fair for him to want to know this type of info- especially when I dont request it of him. He is just very inquisitive about any of the guys from the past... it is starting to make me nuts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:37 AM Flag
»
np: does he know he's the only person and still question you? this sounds very controlling to me that he cares so much about such unimportant stuff from your past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:40 AM Flag
»
I'm suspicious of the "very inquisitive". I just don't buy it. There is something else behind those questions, especially since he's the only man you've been with. Either he doesn't believe you or he's up to something and projecting his guilt onto you. He wouldn't be the first spouse to do this. I'm nosy as hell, but I do not want any details on the women of my husband's past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:44 AM Flag
»
My DH doesn't care. He's definitely of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. More because I don't think he'd want a visual in his head, kwim? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:35 AM Flag
»
sounds potentially controlling. i would firmly let him know that those people are part of your past, where you intend to leave them (meaning not even discuss them). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:36 AM Flag
»
Op: that is good. I have told him that I won't discuss it and that he needs to stop bringing it up. I will try your approach- looking to put it way behind us. I do not intend to be 40 and discussing high school boyfriends with my husband. so silly!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
psych here, he is insecure about himself and wants to make sure you didnt do anything in the past that you are not doing with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:44 AM Flag
»
Please tell me if I'm assuming too much, but are you and your husband of some sort of ethnic descent? This man doesn't sound sound like a red-blooded, American, CME (Christmas, Mother's Day, Easter christian, lol) male. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Have to say I am proud of my and DH. We've had about $20K in cc debt that we've had for years. We decided, no more saving or spending on vacations and extra until it's gone. We are down to $10K and it's only been 2 months! I want all debt gone by Feb. Then on to savings! It's so liberating. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:24 AM Flag
»
I wish we could do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
you can. Just take one step at a time. Figure out where you are spending your money. Figure out how to cut corners and then start paying down debts and saving money. Anything is possible it just takes an effort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:35 AM Flag
»
good for you. bottle of champagne when you make the last payment. congrats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:47 AM Flag
»
amazing what can be accomplished with goal setting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:54 AM Flag
»
I know good job!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:54 AM Flag
»
good job! congrats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on whose child scored over 150 on the SB? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:23 AM Flag
»
Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:53 PM Flag
»
what age do children take it? what is the range of scores? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:59 PM Flag
[ - ] poll: do you think posting "no flames please" deters flamers? / what is your highest level of education completed? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:23 AM Flag
»
no it doesnt. MA/JD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:25 AM Flag
»
no - it makes more people read and reply! JD/MBA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:26 AM Flag
»
^^ i don't flame on those though. I just move on if I disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
i expect it could potentially cut down on these so called "flamers", as we often get what we speak up and ask for. but i'd have to say this probably isn't terribly effective if your entire post is a "flamer" itself. JD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
looks like things are slow in the legal world these days. lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:34 AM Flag
[ - ] what if we are diverse but not visibly so? does this make a difference in the private schools? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 11:23 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 11:25 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 11:29 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 11:26 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 12:05 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 12:06 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 12:07 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 12:07 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 12:08 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 12:57 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 02:10 PM Flag
»
funny, my fil was born in africa. we are white and jewish as they come. dh always jokes we should classify ourselves as aa, as technically our kids are 1/4 aa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 05:16 PM Flag
»
That's why "black" is such a better description than "African American." Don't know why people don't like to use it as much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.13.08, 09:06 PM Flag
»
I think a culturally different background is important to schools. They don't want kids with all the same experiences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.14.08, 05:41 AM Flag
[ - ] Is Disneyworld a suicide mission during the Christmas break? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:26 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:38 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:24 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 01:50 PM Flag
[ - ] placed an offer on a house. told there is another offer (isn't that what they always say?). should we call their bluff and walk away or up the offer? not that i'm depending on ubers to make this decision just feel like posting something silly really. should we go for it? walk away? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:15 AM Flag
»
^^^ anyone want to share their home buying stories? :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:16 AM Flag
»
how long has the house been on the market? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:16 AM Flag
»
about a month [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
that's tricky. But housing prices are prob going to drop more so I would walk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:21 AM Flag
»
And suddenly they have two offers? What does your agent say? It sounds like they are bluffing, but depends on how much you want the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
they've had another offer prior to ours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:48 AM Flag
»
did they make a counteroffer? don't up your offer until they come back to you with an amount. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:16 AM Flag
»
they did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:19 AM Flag
»
are you working with an agent? the sellers should have to show the other offer in order for you to up your offer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
i'm not. i take it they can't just show us the offer, eh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:20 AM Flag
»
If you work with an agent a bidding war has to be documented... must be the same without an agent, but I don't know exactly how it would work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:24 AM Flag
»
i'm assuming you mean they got a "better" offer, not simply "another" offer. cant' really answer the question about what to do without knowing how you guys feel about that house. generally, have faith while house shopping. you'll get the house that was meant for you. don't panic and jump at a house for any reason. and if you find the dream house, get a contract to sell/buy signed sooner, rather than later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:20 AM Flag
»
yes, you're right - they've had a better offer on the table before we put in ours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:21 AM Flag
»
NP: One tactic is to focus on things that might make your offer the "better" one, even at the lower price. There has to be a reason the seller hasn't accepted that other, higher offer - it might be price but it could be something else. Closing date, for example - if you are able to close sooner or later or are more flexible than the other buyer that can be advantage. Ability to close the deal is another one - do you have a mortgage commitment, are you renting or do you have another house to sell? We *won* our house even though we offered a lower price than the first offer b/c the other prospective buyer hadn't yet been able to sell their own home and we were renters. Also, the sellers were building a new home, and we told them we would be flexible about our closing date if their construction was delayed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
you got cut off! would you mind reposting that part? thanks so much for sharing your experience. I did try to advise on all those things - all of which, I believe put us ahead of the game however, it's the price. so they say! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:50 AM Flag
»
I don't know her, but I am guessing she was about to say they could do a sale/lease-back as part of the offer, so sellers could continue living in the house until they finished their own house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:05 PM Flag
»
The last part was that we would be flexible about our closing date if their construction was delayed. (UB cuts off the responses if they get too long, but if you right-click the original message, it opens in its own window and you can see everything.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:18 PM Flag
»
ah, thanks or the tip! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:05 PM Flag
»
ok, she wasn't going to say buy-lease-back. but its still a good negotiating technique. they can rest assured the house is sold without having to rush and move out. you have to rent a few more months (and be responsible for the property taxes a few months earlier) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:41 PM Flag
»
they're probably bluffing. having said that, you shouldn't be buying a house in this shitty market anyway. it will only go down further. walk away and buy something in 6 months or 1 yr when you'll get so much more for your money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:19 PM Flag
»
OP: you are confirming my thoughts! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:05 PM Flag
»
also consider that just because someone made an offer before you, doesn't mean it will go through. if they are unable to reach agreement on the closing, then you could be next in line with your offer. i would hold firm on the offer price and tell them to call you to see if the offer is still open, in the event the first offer falls through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:44 PM Flag
»
OP: you're right. thanks for reminding me of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 02:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to make a donation in my sister & her partners name for the holiday. I want to give to an organization they believe in. They are liberal lesbian therapists with a child. What would be a good organization? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:13 AM Flag
»
give to hrc, or no on prop 8 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:14 AM Flag
»
since they are therapists...maybe the national gay and lesbian suicide hotline... it is not reported, but our (U.S.) suicide rates are higher than our murder rates, and extremely high for GLBT teens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:24 AM Flag
»
I think it's presumptuous to think we would know what they want because of those things...is there a way to ask them ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
that's what people often do when they buy and wrap gifts...presume what someone might like...otherwise, its not a surprise gift... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:30 AM Flag
»
right but a donation to something seems more personal...? just my 1 cent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:38 AM Flag
»
^also perhaps there is more to go on, what are their interests (other than being lesbian and having a kid), hobbies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
how is a donation personal? it is someone else's money going to someone else. the receiver doesn't get anything, but satisfaction that someone she thinks is deserving got help. it is natural to assume that any person would feel good about giving to their own community/demographic... duh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:42 AM Flag
»
bec. it's in their name. ie: if someone told me they gave money to _________ in my name i may not like thta org [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:55 AM Flag
»
If its not a surprise, just ask them. Or ask who they donated to this year to sneakily find out their favorites. Otherwise, HRC or the GLBT suicide hotline both sound thoughtful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:43 AM Flag
»
try www.donorschoose.org. Teachers can submit program proposals and then people can choose to fund various projects. You can give them a gift certificate for a specific amount, and they can choose the project they want to fund. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:47 AM Flag
»
You could give to network for good. It lets the recipient choose the charity to donate to. It's like a gift card for charitable giving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Just hacked in DH email and saw he set up an Ashley Madison account... MARRIED DATING SITE... Things were bad but did not think THIS bad... devestated. Going home to pack up DB and go to parents house. WWYD? 80 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Newborn 12.08.08, 11:11 AM Flag
»
talk to him. but i don't think this is real. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:13 AM Flag
»
OP - no it is real. I am so hurt I am packing up and going home... He cheated on me when engaged. I am SO stupid... What is there to talk about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:14 AM Flag
»
You are not stupid. You loved him and wanted to believe him. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...I think you know what you need to do. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
OP - thanks... I just feel like such a fool... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:29 AM Flag
»
print out whatever you can before you go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:21 AM Flag
»
OP - I did thanks. Printed the email and a screen capture of his profile [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
I think you should cool off before you say anything to DH. Maybe a trip to mums with the kids is just what you need to cool down. However, if you do decide to divorce, go around and take care of all your personal business FIRST, not later after you tell him. Believe me, he will empty the joint accounts faster than you will think of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:16 AM Flag
»
call a lawyer and protect yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:19 AM Flag
»
OP - I found a lawyer today... I have $19K saved and I am changing my direct deposit today as well... I did not say anything to him acting as normal as possible. Will just leave and he will come home to an empty house [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:21 AM Flag
»
Well you're done with this fool. I'd leave it's not going to get any better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
OP - I know. He cheated on me when we were engaged... he turns everything around on me like I am crazy. I tried my best. I am basically a single mother he does nothing for DB or around the house. Will not be a big adjustment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:23 AM Flag
»
be careful about denying him access to your kid. he could use it against you in a divorce settlement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:10 PM Flag
»
PLEASE CHECK W A LAWYER about leaving and taking the db. it could come back to bite you. they'll prob tell you to leave a note, so it's not abandonment/parental kidnapping. write anote, keep a copy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.08, 08:32 AM Flag
»
OP - I went back so DB can be with nanny and schedule... I will leave on weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.08, 09:01 AM Flag
»
how did you hack into his email? im worried abot same thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
OP - I had his password to his email from before... he has 2 emails one he leaves open at home and I see and another. Mostly spam but I saw he set up this ashley madison account this weekend... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
god im sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
OP - thanks. I will pay nanny through the week and figure out what to do next... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:23 AM Flag
»
i would trail him and see what happens; maybe he just wants to set up the account and not go through with it--do you have kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:24 AM Flag
»
np: i agree - you don't have grounds for a cause divorce yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:26 AM Flag
»
seriously? just wants to set up an account?! he wants to get laid! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
who was it who said "i have sinned in my mind"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:27 AM Flag
»
well this is me saying if you've sinned in your mind you'll likely do it elsewhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
jimmy carter--i was the poster of this--let's see if he goes through with it-follow him and play it cool--the more info the better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:29 AM Flag
»
ita - she can fry him more with real evidence as opposed to circumstantial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:30 AM Flag
»
OP - I work and have a 9 month old baby... I can't follow him around. Again he cheated on me when we were engaged and I was a fool to believe he would change... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
i wd follow him--get a sitter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
OP - hard... he works late and I have no clue how to follow someone... sit outside his job in our car? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:34 AM Flag
»
hire a private investigator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:38 AM Flag
»
OP - nah he would straighten up because I am leaving. I won't be home when he gets home and I am leaving print outs from his email so he knows why [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
np: you aren't thinking clearly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:41 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:42 AM Flag
»
get your act together. get as much money moved as you can. you need to be calm to protect your future. take a deep breath and be smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:43 AM Flag
»
^^ this is a grown up thing - you are acting like a teenager. Fine - leave him - just do it smartly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:44 AM Flag
»
OP- I am trying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:46 AM Flag
»
OP - yes a baby 9 months... he set up a profile. Like he went through the steps to set it up... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:30 AM Flag
»
also, confirm the account is real, and not just a phishing email. some companies send me email about "my new account" and just want me to sign-in (to their fake account) to give them details about myself...its a scam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:26 AM Flag
»
So true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:29 AM Flag
»
OP - no he set up an account... has his age, our city, his ethnicity, everything... says "looking for something short term"... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:31 AM Flag
»
Had a Pina Colada song moment, have you thought about signing up and sending a email to him through the program? hahaha. sorry, that would not be advisable per your divorce lawyer, i'm guessing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:33 AM Flag
»
no but getting a friend to might [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:34 AM Flag
»
OP - him having a profile is enough for me... he has done this before as well with eharmony and and came up with some stupid excuse he was trying to catch me he thought I had an account (yeah when I was single 5 years before). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:37 AM Flag
»
^^^^ and he slept with his friend when we were engaged. I am SO stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:37 AM Flag
»
ooooh, yeah, have a really good friend of yours (someone he knows is your good friend) approach him through the sight, as if she is really interested...put him in that dilemma and watch him squirm (or be a complete jerk). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:37 AM Flag
»
OP - none of my friends would be on a married dating website...not plausible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:38 AM Flag
»
thats what you think, probably isn't what he thinks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:44 AM Flag
»
OP - no time for this. I just want to leave and get a good divorce lawyer... I don't think h e will change [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:48 AM Flag
»
np: not to make light of the op's problem but this made me lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 04:05 PM Flag
»
and divorcing over a phishing email you read while hacking, well you could just make a movie about that kind of folly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE -- what a loser. Take care of yourself. You might want to go withdraw about half from checking or whatever joint assets you have. He could freeze it, and you won't have access to it during the divorce process. You will need money. I did this, and never looked back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:35 AM Flag
»
OP - thanks... do you have a DB? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:36 AM Flag
»
i didn't with the guy i left. i now do. but if your man is cheating while you have a DB, he is truly low. my divorce was horrible, and I wanted out so badly i didn't care what i left behind -- including my dog. don't worry about your big stuff. take the DB, and what you immediately need. take your passports, take your photos (personal - highschool, college, etc), social security items, bank statements. those things are hard to replace. leave clothing you don't need -- take only the necessary things. you can buy more later. this is hard, but you'll have the support of your family and friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:43 AM Flag
»
OP - thanks... I am leaving everything just taking things DB needs... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:48 AM Flag
»
np: this is NOT the smart way to do it. He is not abusing you - you are safe. If you want to maximize your future - stay and get your shit sorted out before you leave. you are behaving irrationally and creating a scene that neither db or you should have to go through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:50 AM Flag
»
OP- i don't want to be around him while I am sorting this out. I could care less about my things (all I have are clothes and I need new ones I lost all my baby weight). I just need to be with my family. If I confront him he will turn this around that it is my fault and yell. I found a divorce lawyer and calling them today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:53 AM Flag
»
obviously your call just think you are being impulsive and could regret it. what would there be to regret with getting your ducks in a row first? he hasn't *done* anything yet that you can sue for divorce over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:10 PM Flag
»
Yes, definitely take care of your business before confronting him about anything. Get your money from joint accounts. Get any signatures of his you need for random stuff (like db's passport). Get your valuables from the house to a secure location (in case you get locked out, etc). Get a lawyer. And only then, say anything to him about anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:40 AM Flag
»
Op - thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:41 AM Flag
»
ITA (from BTDT mom above) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:44 AM Flag
»
All great advice, keep the print outs at a friends house or someplace else he wont find them. Ask him for some money, act like everything is OK. When you are ready, and you know he is at work, move all teh stuff you want, let him come home to an empty furniture-less house. I would leave the printouts (a copy) on the table. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:57 AM Flag
»
how would she get asig for passport w/out suspicion? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:55 AM Flag
»
if it were me, i'd make a show out of taking care of paper work, filing, document stuff at year end, as if you were just doing an annual list of things you had put off for the year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 11:57 AM Flag
»
Take a deep breath. Its okay to pack up things and go to mom's house. But don't get all dramatic with DH yet, don't confront him yet, don't leave out the emails. Don't do anything about DH until after you talk to your lawyer and get your financial affairs in order. You're a mother now, and you need to think of more important things than your hurt feelings right now, like your and db's financial security. Make plans and take action, but don't simply react like a teenager. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:00 PM Flag
»
So sad how many men are like this- I worry too, as my dh had a secret myspace acct. while we were dating, said he was single, had all these girls he was flirting with, a girl offering him hookups with her friends (and she knew about me). I forgave him, because he claimed he was "unsure" about our relationship at the time, but i still go on all the sites to check periodically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:06 PM Flag
»
OP - so what is my explanation for not being home and taking DB? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:10 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:14 PM Flag
»
mom isn't feeling well - needs your help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 12:14 PM Flag
»
DEEP BREATH FIRST...get out of the house second and try not to listen to too much advice ( this is kind of pointless to say as I give it) ... but you need to take care of your self and children first, and take 24 hours before you mention it to him. Find out what you will do...if you get divorced your mind and heart will be so inundated that you won't be able to think clearly ...so, if you really feel this marriage is pointless and you just don't see him getting better or doing anything different in the future than take the necessary steps to make it as painless and clean and simple as possible for you and the children now...before the arguing begins. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 03:56 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 03:57 PM Flag
»
np: yes, she has. I actually think this is someone from the AM site doing some sort of advertising. the last AM post was fairly similar and I can't imagine there are this many men stupid enough to have just opened AM accounts and gotten caught. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 05:38 PM Flag
»
why would AM do that? do they think we are racing over to sign up now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 05:50 PM Flag
»
to increase traffic on the site. it is easy to track where people were before clicking to AM and people get $ for each person they send to AM. Even if people aren't signing up for a AM account, it is certainly increasing visibility a lot. I would never have heard of it without UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 06:05 PM Flag
»
i didn't go check it out - don't care. agree that this poster is prob fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 06:09 PM Flag
»
itttta. ashley madison is definitely posting here. everyone who has read this post has probably logged on to have a look. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 07:24 PM Flag
»
not me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 07:25 PM Flag
»
ita. i don't like the all caps "married dating site" -- neon sign. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 07:24 PM Flag
»
yup. looks totally fake to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 07:26 PM Flag
»
OP - no this is not fake. DH denied it and I am getting a divorce lawyer. This is very painful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.08, 08:07 AM Flag
»
I had an account with Ashley Madison for a while, (when my husband and I went through a BAD patch), but I tend to think that most people (in my experience) are just looking/flirting, and not ready to pull the trigger. You might want to find out if he has actually done anything or if this was just harmless exploration before jumping into irreversible territory. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.08, 07:13 PM Flag
»
OP - even him having an account is hurtful. I am ready to move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.08, 08:08 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions