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[ - ] What is good from Stella and Dot? Quality ok? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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nothing. overplayed, dumb. yuck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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nothing. i wouldn't take any of that crap even for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:37 PM Flag
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Poor quality. Don't do it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:06 PM Flag
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The quality is better than that of similar styles you'd find in places like Ann Taylor - you can tell by the weight and by the clasps. It's in between costume & fine jewelry; they use nice stones, etc., but the metals are plating so it does rub off with repeated wear (like, over the course of a couple of years). It's not stuff you'll keep wanting to wear for more than 3-4 years max, so it depends on how far you want your money to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Did anyone "redshirt" their DD or know someone who has? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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Yes I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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Only know boys redshirted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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STM redshirts all summer girls. BTDT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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STM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:06 PM Flag
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St Thomas More [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:09 PM Flag
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I thought you meant Sassy Tarot Mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:31 PM Flag
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Would never do this as the girl would mature way, way before boys. Would get extremely tough in tween and teen years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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+1 bully target for sure, the older/bigger/slower one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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DD (11 on October) is in 4th grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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and we thought about sports when we did it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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wow my ds will be 9 in 4th grade. doesn't she get laughed at because she is so old for the grade? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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My son is rocking fourth grade and he was 8 for the first 3.5 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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There are two girls in my son's NYC public whose parents did. Not sure how they persuaded teacher to out their November birthday girls in K instead of First. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Name poll. Harlowe 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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aren't those jeans? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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Harper got old, so we're moving on? Enough with these stupid "names!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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ITA. It's horrible. I would never want my name to be Harlowe. What a joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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How about Harlot? That's got to be on the horizon for the naming morons. Check out these two losers and what they named the baby they neglected: http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Baby-Dies-After-Being-Left-in-Crib-for-16-Hours-Alone-278799701.html [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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Do they know what avarice means [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 09:13 PM Flag
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I thought it was *Very* cool first time I heard it, but then started hearing it more and more. Now it just says "see, my parents are sophisticated" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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I wouldn't use it, but I do think it's very pretty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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hate to say this about a little girl, but it sounds way too much like whore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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like horlowe. sweet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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I think of Harlequin romance novels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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What about Marlow or Barlow? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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both too masculine for a dd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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Makes me think of harlot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:52 PM Flag
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Only if it's a family name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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What's to stop someone from saying it's a family name, EVEN IF IT'S NOT? (This, my friend, is a dumb answer.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:53 PM Flag
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I like Marlo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 09:29 PM Flag
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Har-NO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 10:13 PM Flag
[ - ] What is Temple Emanuel preschool like? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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Jewish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you write in a first choice letter? If you like two schools equally, do you write a FC letter to both?? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Only write two fc letters if you don't care about what psd thinks of you (so, you shouldn't be planning to put another kid through preschool). First choice means "will attend if admitted." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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What do you write in a FC letter? If your DC is admitted, why do you need a letter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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IF admitted. Like: Dear Tip Top Tier Academy, We truly loved your institution and think Eloise is a great fit because blah blah blah. If we are fortunate enough for Eloise to be accepted to TTTA, we will enroll her immediately." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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This. You say in your letter that if your kid was offered a spot, you would accept. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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Do you realize what the "F" stands for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] What is your dream vacation right now? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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Dubai [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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A week in Tahiti w/dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Mauritius- would love to take the family. and then on safari. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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I'm 29 again, sitting at a sidewalk cafe on the Champs-Élysées drinking cognac and smoking Gauloises. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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love [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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Greece [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Runner moms: trying to become a runner. I alternate walking and running every 5 min. Walk at 5.5 km and run at 7.6 km. for a total of 30 min daily. Is that a good plan? Eventually want to build up to running for 30min 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:38 PM Flag
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sure. are you heavy though? it's so much harder to run if you are even carrying an extra ten pounds of weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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Sadly, this is true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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why is this sad? it's the facts. chunk down ladies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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On second thought. If being skinny turns you into a mega bitch, keep the ten lbs on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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or: lol. you made me laugh. can't argue with that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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Lighten up, overly-serious runner robot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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Use a Couch to 5K plan to build up in time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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Agree. It really helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 09:56 PM Flag
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Sounds like a good beginning. Work on it and see you in the park! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 09:31 PM Flag
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Agree great plan. Key is to just keep running more and walk less eventually until you are completely running. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 09:57 PM Flag
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C25K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 10:00 PM Flag
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look at Runnersworld for some great training plans [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 10:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Name pole: Dudley Gunnar 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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fake. stfu! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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He'll never get laid, so he'll be mommy's boy forever. It has that going for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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Try harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:44 PM Flag
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Swedish WASP? Kidding, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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prefer Gudley Dunnar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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*poll* Learn to spell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:35 PM Flag
[ - ] name poll: Bianca. Love it. Thoughts? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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It's my great-grandmother's maiden name. I've thought of using it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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Strongly dislike. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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Two associations: a mouse in some old disney movie, or erica kane's daughter on all my children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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My association in addition to the above: Bianca Jagger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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honestly seems a wee bit ostentatious to me, like she should be wearing a tiara [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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very Italian sounding. Are you Italian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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It IS Italian. Means "white". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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duh! right i was just looking at bianca carrera marble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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love it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:44 PM Flag
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Manipulative bully from DC's K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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I love it although I think the tiara feedback above is valid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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i have disliked every woman i have ever met who had this name. actually bianca and samantha too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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I really hate this name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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It sounds very aggressive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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. . . I would gladly give up coffee for Sanka . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 09:24 PM Flag
[ - ] both kids want to go to interlochen for camp. Both accepted, I can only afford one to go. The other has a full scholarship to another camp. Ok to split them up? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:31 PM Flag
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are they twins? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:32 PM Flag
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they are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:32 PM Flag
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troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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op-? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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op-? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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they might hatch a zany plot to trade places and reunite you and your ex! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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op-I'm married [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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NP- She is making a Parent Trap joke... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:40 PM Flag
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Send both under the guise that they can never be in the same place at the same time, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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thanks for making me laugh! I needed that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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that kind of sucks for the one who wants to go, but cannot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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op-right [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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Is this for music? It is expensive - any chance of financial aid? My DC has done Interlochen for 3 years. It was transformational. What is the other camp? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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they both got full merit scholarships LY, no chance of that again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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If there is a chance that the one who was accepted at IAC could become a professional musician or wants to go to conservatory, I'd seriously consider letting him/her go and splitting them up. It is an amazing opportunity - as you know. Hard to top it for the experience and the prep needed for future conservatory applications (mentoring, being around other serious musicians, etc.) A hard call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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NP: They both were accepted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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Understood. I meant to say - if one of the two wants to become a musician... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:52 PM Flag
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The only fair thing is to send them both to the camp you have one scholarship for. End of story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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i agree with this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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Can they get a job between now and camp and help pay for it? Babysitting, music lessons, etc.? Otherwise, skip it for a year until you can afford to send both. Have a fundraiser online? Sell stuff on ebay? You need to get creative and figure it out if you want them both to go. Can one go the scholarship camp and do a shorter stint at Inter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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I'm in the minority I'm sure, but I would split them up and that would be the end of it. Too much coddling kids, life is rarely equitable and never fair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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And sending kids to interlochen for camp is not coddling? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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You have no idea what you are talking about and are not a nice person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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np: I love how she is all of a sudden not a nice person. LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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I agree that it would be good (for twins in particular) to separate and succeed separately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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I thought they were not sending decisions until after the Feb 1 priority application deadline? When did you hear? (Waiting for a response here, if you couldn't tell!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:03 PM Flag
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If no scholarship help is available, take out a loan to send them both. Amazing opportunity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:14 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone in manhattan have kids older than 10 who share a room? at what age do they need their own room? i'm in manhattan and i have 3 kids. am looking for a 3br, assuming the two older ones will share a room. but is that practical to do for the next 10 years? ie, when the oldest is 16 is it still appropriate to be in the same room as his younger brother? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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I'm assuming the older 2 are boys and the youngest is a girl? Yes, that's common for same-sex kids to share a room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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even when they are 14 and 16? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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Yes very common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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Of course. It'll be all they know. It will make going off to college and having a dorm room, moving back to the city and having to have a shitty "flex bedroom" with cardboard walls that don't even go up to the ceiling, and living in a tiny studio with no internal walls even easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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Did you have no friends when you grew up who shared a room?? MY 11 and 8 year old boys will share a room until one of them goes and gets their own apartment! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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?? Of course it is fine. Every kid wants his own room (I know I did), but when you are in a big family, you share, unless your family is wealthy enough to have a bedroom per child + adult bedroom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:32 PM Flag
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I had a girl in my class at school who shared her room with her sister until she went to college in her parent's Manhattan apt. This is not a big deal. Kids don't have a right to their own room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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Own room is in the category "nice to have" not "need to have". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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Fine if they are same gender [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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Kids never NEED their own rooms. Plenty of people raised UMC in Europe and elsewhere who don't have their own rooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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This. Dh and his brother shared a room until one left for college. No one needs their own room. It's a luxury. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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Yes, they like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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All these people justifying doubling kids up to live the life they want. It's shitty to have teenagers share a room, but if that's what you need to do to stay in Manhattan lots of people will do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:52 PM Flag
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No, it's not bad to share a room. Some kids actually prefer it. Makes them feel safe and cozy. Even as teens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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What a middle-American view. In most of the world, even UMC people in 1st world countries, children do not all have their own rooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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My DH shared a room with his brother until he went to college. He's well-adjusted, happy, successful, a great husband and father, knows how to share, and low maintenance when it comes to space. Nothing like some of the entitled moody jerks some of you guys married. So sharing a room isn't necessarily the worst thing you can do to a kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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I plan for my two DSs to share until the older one goes to college. And we have a spare guest room/office, but often have guests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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I grew up in NYC and always shared a room. If my DCs were same sex, I'd have them share a room the whole time too (since they're not, I'll split them at some point but don't know when yet) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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DD and DC shared a room until we had to split them up suddenly shortly after DS's 14th birthday (dd is 9). They had grown antagonistic toward each other (still are, but with privacy of their own which helps). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] My day started out fantastic and now I feel like I'm possessed by a demon! The PMS demon. I'm simultaneously on te begs of tears and in a rage and I'm around so many people right now I can barely hold it together. I'm talking myself down as best I can..../rant 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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weird [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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+1!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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Cut down on the sodium. Eliminate water weight. Avoid red wine. Medicate PRN. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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This is why I love you guys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Flame away, but when people my age 40 (or their friends) make a really big deal about losing a grandparent, it kind of rubs me the wrong way, after having lost a parent, young. Is this crazy? 64 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:20 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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Grief isn't a competition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:24 PM Flag
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It's a tournament [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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It's not a competition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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Nope. ITA. To me if you make it past 85 it's been a good life lived and it should be celebrated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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OP: thank you. This woman at work came up to me with a sad face when I asked her where "Jane" was. She was like "isn't it so terrible, Janes grandmother passed away. It's just horrible, they were soooo close." Ok, reality check Janes grandmother was in her eighties and died in her sleep. I lost my father in his fifties in a long prolonged death. Perspective [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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np: Jane's loss doesn't change anything about your loss. Jane is allowed to be sad because her grandma died. Maybe she had to travel for a funeral and that's why she was out. Not being snarky at all but maybe you should speak to someone, you sound really angry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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OP: you are completely missing the point. First, I certainly don't care if she is out and certainly feel bad about her loss, but when someone is telling me how terrible it is to lose a grandparent, when I lost a parent, I just can't empathize. I really cant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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That's your issue then. Seriously. I feel bad that your dad died, that is terrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but it doesn't change the fact that it can also be terrible to lose a grandparent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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You just said you feel bad about her loss, but can't empathize. You don't know how close their relationship was, and you sound like an asshole for being the only one allowed to grieve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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well i'cant empathize with you at all. i lost both parents young. you at least still have your mom..... this is all based on your logic. i really don;t feel this way. grief is not a competition [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:00 PM Flag
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Your feelings, your problem. Some grandparents are more loving than parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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or: well it's still sad for her just in the big picture not as sad imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:27 PM Flag
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If your grandparent was under 80, are you allowed to mourn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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np: I think OP is saying that it is fine to mourn the loss, but there should be some perspective to it. Obviously, a 90 year old grandparent who passes away is a very sad occasion, but it isn't a "tragedy" and mourning in a way that suggests that it is seems like too much. Grieving is of course expected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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No. You don't get to decide what is or isn't "too much" for someone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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This x a million [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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If you have lost a child and someone comes up to you and says they understand because they felt just as sad when their 90 year old grandmother died? Sorry, I do get to judge them. That's my prerogative. And you are free not to judge them, and that's fine too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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So it is a competition and you always have to win. Nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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What does that have to do with a competition? Grief should be PERSONAL, in my opinion. People grieve all the time for others and that's good. But there is a kind of grief that has a different expectation of support from friends and refusing to acknowledge that seems purposely obtuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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No one was expecting support from the OP. She heard a co-worker's grandmother died, rolled her eyes, and went off on a self-absorbed rant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:03 PM Flag
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I think it was started by another person talking about how terrible it is to lose a grandmother and making the other person's loss seem like a tragedy. It's one thing to talk to colleagues and friends about how sad you are feeling -- I agree that is appropriate. But in this case it was a 3rd person characterizing the loss as so very terrible, which just seems more false. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:39 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:52 PM Flag
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and you don't get to pretend that the loss of your hamster equals someones loss of a child. nobody gets to be that deliberately obtuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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There is one person here comparing, and that's the OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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So buy that logic, the OP's grief for her father is inappropriate, because people have lost children and that is obviously much, much worse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:19 PM Flag
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No one said grief was inappropriate when an old person dies. They said describing the circumstances as a horrible tragedy is inappropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 10:05 PM Flag
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Nice rules you impose, Madam President. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:18 PM Flag
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People are different and have different relationships. I am going to be fucking devastated when my grandma dies. She's 94 but extremely sharp. We Facetime every day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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Normal to feel this way. i feel the same, lost my grandmother at 18. I'm in my 30's and it stings when people cry over losing a parent or grandparents at 90. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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It's going to sound crazy to people who haven't lost a parent. Lost my mom at 23 and I internally roll my eyes at people who need a lot of time off when losing a grandparent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:24 PM Flag
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I took two days off when my dog died. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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This. Normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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i agree. and don't get me started on the pet situation. as someone who has lost all three, and is fully aware that it is not a competition, we're all human. the truly earth shattering impact of losing a parent to whom you were close is just different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:27 PM Flag
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I was extremely close to my grandparents, who were my primary caregivers for most of my childhood. Who the hell do you think you are telling me that I'm not allowed to grieve? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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+1 (another person with grandparents who were primary caregivers for a while). I loved them dearly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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No one said you aren't allowed to grieve. It is just having some perspective on that grief in the greater society. Do you expect people to contribute to your grandmother's charity? Send you a sympathy card? Attend your grandmother's funeral because they know you? But that is what you do when a friend loses a husband, child, and sometimes a parent. I attended a friend's parent's memorial service for her - I barely knew the parent. But when it is a grandmother, that seems over the top, even if you knew your friend was quite close. But I know there are some unusual grandparent-grandchild relationships and in that case, perhaps you would attend the grandparent's funeral for your friend's sake, even if you didn't know the grandmother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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What are we talking about here? How people should grieve or the expectations of others in relation to that grief? This conversation has really gotten off track from the OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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Good point -- I am talking about what the grieving person expects from others (including work colleagues) in relation to that grief. I would cover for a colleague who lost a child or husband for a long, long time. But I would not do the same for someone who lost an elderly grandparent. I would be sympathetic to their grief, and of course they should attend the funeral, but at some point yes, the time they expect others to do things to support that grief is different. But if it is just a sympathetic ear, then I would of course be sympathetic for years if a friend lost her beloved dog. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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But it is all so subjective. I can't really make a blanket statement because everyone's situation is different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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True, but one reason it is different is that people are different and some are going to be more affected by a grandmother's death or a pet's death than someone who loses a parent. And it doesn't mean that the person who lost the parent isn't mourning also. But at some point there is probably a reasonable amount of mourning you can expect people to go out of their way to help if it is a pet or yes, even a grandparent. Even if you understand that to the person in mourning, the feeling is genuine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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But then that is the same as losing your parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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OP: thank you. Ily. You get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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It's a shitty club to be in, but yeah I get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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ditto signed, fellow member of the club. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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ita -- my mom died when i was 20 and yes, sad to lose a grandparent, but more bittersweet 'circle of life" thing. If I am old enough to have grandchildren and see them get older and then I die, I see it as very lucky compared to many [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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np . +1 except ive never lost a parent yet thankfully. but i do agree grandparenst who are old are "supposed" to die. I did not lose a grandparent until the age of 27 and felt super grateful to have them for so long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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Depends on the relationship. The family just lost a great aunt and the church was packed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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I came home early from my honeymoon because my great aunt died. It was a terrible loss to me. No one can judge anyone else when it comes to grief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:31 PM Flag
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My dad died young and in a tragic matter, and I can still sympathize when a friend's cat dies. Sheesh, lady. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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Thank God there are people like you - very kind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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I don't understand your logic. They should be happy to have spent so many more good years with the deceased? Though they were old doesn't mean they loved them any less nor feel the same level of grief when they pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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yes. i lost both my parents early and my grandma is still alive. i will be devastated to lose her too no matter how old she is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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No, but loss of a family member is always difficult. Perhaps you can show some empathy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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My mom agrees with you. She lost both of her parents when they were in their 50s and early 60s. She's in her 60s now and when someone of her generation seems devastated over the loss of their parents in their 80s or 90s, my mom just shakes her head and says that the person was lucky to have his or her parents for so long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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What about all the people that lost their parents as children? Do they get to walk around and roll their eyes at your mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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she sounds unempathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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you can still feel lucky that the person lived a long life, but grief is still grief if they are 20 or 90, the relationship and circumstances do play a part [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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Yes, you feel the need for your grief to be greater. Don't diminish what someone else is experiencing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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Beautiful reply. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:43 PM Flag
[ - ] How much would you need to live on per month? Just for little odds and ends, take out, birthday gifts for kids parties, lunch with friends. Not using any of the money towards grocery shopping, mortgage, household expenses. Would 50k a year be enough or would you need more? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:17 PM Flag
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^^^ forgot to add that you would be paying cleaning service out of this money so figure $200 a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:18 PM Flag
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np lolol. People making 50k gross do not have cleaning services that cost +/- 10k a year. They just don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:20 PM Flag
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I think she means would $50k be enough for expenses other than mortgage, household expenses, and groceries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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You certainly don't need that every week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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a cleaning service? yes i do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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The cleaning (at 9,600) would cost the most. I'd say add on another 5k to 10k for other stuff. I'm pretty thrifty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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We paid off our mortgage. We earn about $300k per year, and we spend about $75k. We could definitely cut down to $50k. I would certainly hope so, since that's the median HHI in the U.S. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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I probably spend about 6k a month on that stuff(including gym and trainer). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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I realize I have no clue. I have not budgeted in years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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wake up call!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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Not really a need to. At least I don't think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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it's always a good idea to be aware of costs-- no matter how much u have imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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Yes, you are probably right. We do have a family accountant and I do have access to our account through our financial planners (there are two of those) but I am not currently sure who holds our mortgage or what that payment is. You are probably right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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Thanks for convincing me to at least look into it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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Not married and don't have kids so this is going to be a lot less than everyone else, but after rent/bills/groceries, I treat myself to an Equinox membership ($200/mo), dating website memberships ($20/mo), Netflix ($8/mo), and Spotify ($10/mo). Other spending money- for going out, cabs, clothes, makeup, treats for myself, etc- is capped at $100/mo. So, a total of $4,056/year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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$100 a month for going out, cabs, clothes, makeup, treats?? Seriously? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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Yes. It really sucks, but I need to own an apartment one day more than I need new clothes or taking cabs when I'm sober and the subway/buses are running. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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Yes. It really sucks, but I need to own an apartment one day more than I need new clothes or taking cabs when I'm sober and the subway/buses are running. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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that is awesome. love the discipline and structure. saving now will bring you wealth later on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Thanks :) I hope you're right about having wealth down the line, because it really, really sucks right now and I just kind of have to have blind faith that it won't be like this forever. I'm in the process of trying to find a new job so that I can at least give myself a little bit more breathing room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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We are good now and have plenty of funds, but I still wish I didn't spend so recklessly when I was younger. We'd have even more-- and I wasn't even that reckless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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That makes me feel better, thanks! I just worry that I'll never marry (I'm 25 so it's not like this is an impending doom, but it's certainly a real fear), so if I want to own a home, have the option to have kids on my own, travel the world, etc, I should have a financing plan in place now, not in 10 years. And if I do marry, great, I'll bring my own assets into the partnership. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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you have time to meet someone. you sound smart and reasonable. someone will like you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:26 PM Flag
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Thank you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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It's possible if you don't take cabs (I never do) or shop much. Although I think it would be hard to stick this religiously every month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:44 PM Flag
[ - ] My DC's teacher told me that she's tired of looking at me pregnant and wanted to know when I was finally due. She said, "When you are going to give birth to that baby? You've been pregnant for a year!" 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:16 PM Flag
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CSB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:16 PM Flag
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she sounds like an idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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and lemme guess...you pay 35k a year to send dc to preschool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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i"m sure she thought it sounded much better in her head than it did out loud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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i"m sure she thought it sounded much better in her head than it did out loud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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lighten up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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Seriously. It's called a joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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She was making a joke. You didn't think it was funny, but it's not really offensive in any way unless you are a very thin-skinned person. What could you possibly find to be offensive? You have been pregnant "too long"? Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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She was trying to show empathy - and it came out all wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:38 PM Flag
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She was trying to be cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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No professional distance here at all. Bet you call each other by your first names, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:36 PM Flag
[ - ] The preschool director at Chelsea Day broker at all? Do kids from their typically get into TT schools? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.29.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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^^^Does the... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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No, but she sure can sell ice to an eskimo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] My 3 year old loves her daycare. Or did. Last week, she had an off day (due to crazy family schedule) and she hit 2 kids at school, probably due to not getting enough sleep. It was the first time she got in trouble by her teacher. Ever since then, she's been begging to not go to daycare every morning. She says she likes her teacher and her friends but is just over going. Tears me apart every morning. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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Aww, that's sad! Maybe the teacher can have a little heart to heart with her and smooth things over? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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Well, my dd refuses to talk about what happened. I think I'm going to let the teacher know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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Was the teacher not supposed to tell dd that she's not allowed to hit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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No, I'm sure the teacher was fine. My DD gets embarrassed very easily. She won't even talk about the incident. At all. It's been over a week of her begging in the morning to stay home with me. I am torn up with guilt everyday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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Guilt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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Yes, just working mom guilt. She keeps asking why I need to go to work and why can't I stay and play with her. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] What is up with Jewish women? Why are they obsessed with volunteering for Jewish causes? I'm speaking about the SIL post below, but I know several other Jewish women who only volunteer for Jewish organizations. What gives? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:12 PM Flag
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What's up with Christian women who do the same? What the hell is up with that???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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damn sunday school volunteers! creeeeppppy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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I'm Jewish and I do not find this to be the case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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They are devoted to their religions and raised with value that it is important to give back. What do you mean what's up with them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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Um, support for their community I assume. How is this hard to understand? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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If they didn't volunteer for jewish causes who would? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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Club mentality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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They're in "the Tribe"! This is actually something that's said out loud on my job. lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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I'm not Jewish but they volunteer for Jewish causes because lots of Jewish citizens of their home countries were murdered. Would you be all pissy about Africans who cared about African causes? No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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Crosses, Star of David, whatever. Have fun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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better than the jewish people who post a bunch of israel crap all the time on facebook [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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I defriend those aholes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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threatened minority. Sounds normal to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:32 PM Flag
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You volunteer for what you have and affinity for and connection to. I am of Swedish origin, so I volunteer for all kind of Swedish organizations, e.g. chamber of commerce, cultural organizations and more. Nothing wrong with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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Well said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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They are the chosen people. The rest of us are idolators. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:52 PM Flag
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I only volunteer for white people causes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Tell me your criteria for funeral attendance as opposed to sending a card/making a donation. What about for an elderly parent of neighbor you are friendly with but not really close to? Arguing with my husband about whether we should take a morning off work in this case. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:12 PM Flag
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If they came to mine, I go to theirs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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How very yogi berraesque [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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I wouldn't miss work for that. I'd send a card and make a donation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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Did you know the parent? If not I would just go to the viewing/wake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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Did not know the parent. Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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Its very nice if you just even go to the viewing/wake. But if its a neighbor i think it is still very nice if you call and see if they could use help with anything, since you are so closeby, and send donation or flowers card etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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People really appreciate it. It's a very nice thing to do no matter what. So, if you can go without too much downside, why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.29.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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