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[ - ] Just got my flu shot this morning, and my arm is very sore. Worse than usual - anyone else experience this? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:54 PM Flag
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Yes. It will pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:55 PM Flag
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Mine was so sore the day I got it, but the pain was totally gone the next morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:57 PM Flag
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Yes! Had a sore arm this year for the first time ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:57 PM Flag
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Got mine friday and could still feel sore spot until sunday. Very normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:59 PM Flag
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Every year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:13 PM Flag
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One year I did: a nice UB-er gave me an explanation that has something to do with nerves. It went away in a couple of days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:16 PM Flag
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I did. Then my arm fell off. On top of that I got the flu! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:33 PM Flag
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It will fall off shortly, for sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:46 PM Flag
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It happens to me every time. Feels like someone punched me really hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Rank the following venues: metropolitan club, rainbow room, blue hill at stone barns, private family estate. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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1. Family Estate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:50 PM Flag
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What if it's haunted? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:00 PM Flag
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Even better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know much about Perth, AU? A friend just got engaged to a guy that’s from there and wants to move back. She’s Indian and works in finance and I’m worried she’ll have trouble finding a job or people won’t be nice to her. 43 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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Eyeroll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:55 PM Flag
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Perth is very nice and much more afgordable than sydney [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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Isn’t Australia in general more expensive than the U.S. The fiancé was comparing it to L.A. although I think he may have just meant in distance from the western cities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:26 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:30 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:30 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:34 PM Flag
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Undocumented workers paid 23.6 BILLION in taxes in 2015. Those on skid row are likely citizens. Low IQ immigrants do a lot of difficult and dangerous factory and farming jobs that keep our food cheap. If you want your kids doing that be my guest I would rather have a guest worker program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:34 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:39 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:39 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:40 PM Flag
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This in not true. Immigrant children do better than people who have been here a while. https://hub.jhu.edu/2012/09/13/immigrant-children-study/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:42 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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Depends on where you are in Australia. When I lived there it was the most expensive in the world, but I didn't struggle or feel like a have not. Everyone tries to compare anything on the coast in Australia to Los Angeles because they have a love affair with Los Angeles but they're nothing alike other than some flora has crossed borders eg eucalyptus trees, and Jim Jefferies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:07 PM Flag
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I lived in Perth. AMA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:35 PM Flag
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same OR - I'll watch for later, so if you have questions, ask, I'll do my best to answer later [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:38 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks! I was just wondering if there is a lot of finance type jobs? Also we are a little worried he might be hiding something like a DW or DC and not sure if there’s a way we could check online. He seems to have an odd work arragenment where he’s in NYC for two months and then in Perth for two months and I just can’t see someone doing that kind of travel for no reason. She’s never been to Perth, is there a big ex pat community? Would people be accepting someone who is ethnically Indian, culturally American? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:44 PM Flag
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seek.com.au for job hunting, register with recruiters, she can do that all now from here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:57 PM Flag
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second question sounds like something not Perth related. IDK try hiring a private investigator? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:58 PM Flag
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that is a lot of travel but you don't say what industry he works in. FIFO is common for mining but that's more like 3 days in Perth 3 weeks at site eg mine site [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:58 PM Flag
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again not Perth related but visit any place before you move there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:59 PM Flag
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He’s in tech like a developer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:24 PM Flag
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I'm surprised he's not going to Singapore then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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His good friend (I met him) got a job here so he followed. They referred to each other as non sexual life partners which I thought was weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:54 PM Flag
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internations.org for expat community in Perth. It is big, 1/10 of South Africans live there, as an example, but it's difficult to break into the WA (Western Australia) crowd, even for Australians NOT from WA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:00 PM Flag
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Australia is the most racist country I've ever lived in -- and I look like what most people imagine an Australian to look like. Visit the museum of immigration in Melbourne. Do some Googling and Wikipedia. Learn cockney English and watch Australia media to pick up on the jokes and jabs at Americans and races. That's one of my reasons for leaving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:01 PM Flag
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He also hates America and have a blog about socialism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:26 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:59 PM Flag
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Questions you didn't ask: Perth was described to me as like Dallas and San Diego combined, and I can kind of see that, but it's much smaller. When I lived there was only one jazz club, which was fine by me, but others wouldn't be OK with that. That's just to demonstrate size. There isn't culture. Hope she's a beach babe or gym rat or can manifest her friendships and hobbies that way. There are two wine regions nearby. It takes forever to go anywhere, so again kind of hope she's a homebody that doesn't like traveling much, or would be comfortable with the occasional weekend visit to the beach or wine region. HTH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 PM Flag
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as an example, it's 25 hours by plane EACH WAY, not counting getting to the airport security etc. to get from NYC to Perth. And >$2K for a coach seat. How many times do you see yourself visiting your friend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:05 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:35 PM Flag
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Undocumented workers paid 23.6 Billion in taxes in 2015 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:37 PM Flag
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Undocumented people do not get benefits. This is a LIE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:38 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:43 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:46 PM Flag
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OP: Please stop hijaking my thread. Skid row has a lot more Americans that are excons/drug addicts than illegals. From my experience most are fairly law abiding because they don’t want to be deported. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 PM Flag
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GFY for calling out that hijacker [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:57 PM Flag
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UGHHHH! Noooo. It's the most remote modern city in the world. Australians are racist as fuck and will think she is aborigine and treat her like shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:58 PM Flag
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I replied above, but that basically sums it up in fewer words, bravo :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:05 PM Flag
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Thank you moderator for removing hateful racist speach on this thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Does it suck to be Pippa Middleton because you are always #2 to your sister, or is it nice to have perks and not have to be as public with your life? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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I'd rather be Pippa and not have to suffer the spotlight and all the royal pressures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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I would rather be Pippa than Kate any day. Although Kate seems to love William more, Pippa’s husband seems like her second choice, although supposed Kate was Williams second choice and Pippa husband was obsessed with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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Good points. I do agree that both Kate and Pippa's husband drew the short end of the stick as far as love goes, as they both wanted the relationship more. I wonder what caused Pippa's real love to pull away. She has had a string of very handsome men before marrying this poor guy that waited around to comfort her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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Who was william’s first choice?! I’m a novice at this stuff! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 PM Flag
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Isabella Branson, née Calthorpe, Cressida’s (Harry’s ex) half-sister. The gossip was that Kate didn’t want Harry to end up with Cressida because William dumped her to see if he has a shot with Isabella but she ended up with Richard Branson’s son. I don’t blame her - more fun to be married to a billionaire’s son than have to deal with the Royal Family and the scrutiny that comes with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:38 PM Flag
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UB is a goldmine! Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:40 PM Flag
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Actually I read that Princess Madeline of Sweden was supposed to be betrothed to William. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:50 PM Flag
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Who was William's first choice? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:39 PM Flag
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Who was William's first choice? It always seemed to me like she was his first choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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Whoops, just saw below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:48 PM Flag
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I would never want to be Kate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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If Kate hadn't married William first, Pippa never would have landed a billionaire. Pippa owes her sister the life of luxury she and her children will live [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:33 PM Flag
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+1, though she probably would have been fine enough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:37 PM Flag
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This. I would prefer to be Pippa. To be rich, beautiful and have a permanent place in royalty and society but not be subjected to public opinion and scrutiny like her sister. Kate carries a heavy load. Harry and Megan and their children have it easier compared to William and Kate and their kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:38 PM Flag
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True. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:49 PM Flag
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This. Was there ever a sibling who benefited from her sister's marriage the way pippa has? She would have been just another UMC girl floating around looking for a husband if not- and given that she's really quite plain (at least her face is- she has a rocking body), she would not have been nearly as desirable and certainly would not be considered a socialite or celeb. The Matthews sons are basically just fame whores [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:46 PM Flag
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ITDA, they both would have married well regardless. I feel bad for Beatrice, it’s harder to be a Princess and unfortunate looking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:49 PM Flag
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ITDA, Pippa is fun and hot, she would have married dwell. Kate however is boring and plain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:15 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.16.18, 03:36 PM Flag
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Randos on a message board still talk about Pippa and the paparazzi stalk her. No go for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 PM Flag
[ - ] DD has a lot of tests this year and I try to help her memorize facts by explaining a few things and help her make associations. Eg: River Delta - I told her the River fans out and looks like a triangle and the Greek symbol for delta is triangle; or I told her the crescent shape of the moon looks like a croissant, hence the name croissant; I played the song Blue Bayou, when she learned about bayous. DH gets so upset with my random facts but I think it’s good to have some background knowledge. What do you think? DH wants me to stop. DC is only 10. 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 PM Flag
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I think you need a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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I have a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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LOL sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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DH is right you better stop...sounds kind of crazy with fake facts. Unless you are KellyAnne [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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What’s fake here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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If nothing else, she'll be a trivia whiz in the future! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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Isn’t it easier to remember crescent and gibbous shapes when you know crescent is croissant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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^ he always calls me the queen of trivia :(( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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Tell him to help her study then [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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She doesn’t want to study with him because he’s a tiger dad and it’s more fun with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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i think its great , good for you ...maybe you should be a teacher ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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No, I have no patience, lol. I am a lawyer and like it ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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Get her to read. Let her learn without you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 PM Flag
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I mean she has to study from the notes she took during class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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^ but if you have any good book suggestions, that would be great. She loves to read and always runs out of books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:17 PM Flag
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I think it's a great idea if it works for your daughter. I've tried the same with my same age son and he protests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 PM Flag
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I do this especially for french. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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I think this sounds fun and cute and creative so long as your dd isn't like PLEASE MAKE IT STOP ! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:17 PM Flag
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She loves it actually! It’s my DH who is convinced we are wasting time! Also, love the song blue bayou - isn’t it fun to listen to a nice song while learning about bayous? She will never forget the definition of bayou or the song, lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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I love the way you're doing it. Ignore DH. Why would he object if your daughter loves it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 PM Flag
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Why is anyone disagreeing with this poster? She is giving her some context for what she is learning at school,showing how language is interconnected? This is what a good parent does. You are all nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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OP here. Thank you! If I didn’t have to earn decent money to make a living , I would have become a linguist, and it’s my hobby to make these connections. I studied Latin, Greek and several current languages in high school and this is what I enjoy and do for fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:23 PM Flag
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Are you smarter than your DH? You sound great and it sounds like he doesn't appreciate you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 PM Flag
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I am starting to think so, lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:39 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 PM Flag
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She's a bored housewife looking to justify her decision to not work for a living. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 PM Flag
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I am a lawyer and the main breadwinner, but keep posting... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:34 PM Flag
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Oh please, we all know you don't work. Get a job and stop teaching her about the bayou [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:40 PM Flag
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Actually, I think it would be great to have a SAHM who can teach the kids Latin and Greek. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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Sounds great to me, especially if you are making learning more fun. I did this all the time when I had to memorize things and needed little visuals to help me easily access info. Not sure what you DH's objection could be here if you and she are both happy other than sounds like a control thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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This, something is off with her DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 PM Flag
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Kids all learn differently. Some kids can just memorize facts ( have a DS like that), some are visual learners( have a DD like this). If it works for her then keep doing it, if it confuses her then stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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I do this for the stuff that my kids have trouble remembering the first few times around. Like if they have a spelling test with 20 words and they just can’t get one or two words, I’ll do this for those two words. I think it would turn crazy town if you did it for everything because she would wind up with weird associations (unless you kept them true to the thing you’re teaching her about).. But for the things that need an extra push to register, it makes total sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 PM Flag
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OP. I don’t do this all the time because I don’t even have interesting or helpful facts for every little thing they learn. But I think it was helpful for the moon phases - I also had an easy association for waxing versus waning moon. I don’t have helpful stuff for all landforms that they had to study - just the delta and the bayou. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:36 PM Flag
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^ actually I came up with a good explanation for piedmont too. The foot of the mountain (in my native language, that’s literally what we call it). I drew it up for her and she got it right away, because the landform really does look like the foot of a mountain when you draw it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:53 PM Flag
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This is fine. And when she has to write essays for APs and SAT IIs in the future, she will grateful to have a wealth of knowledge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:49 PM Flag
[ - ] looking for a great primary care/GP in Brooklyn -- someone thorough and thoughtful! Any recommendations? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:01 PM Flag
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If you would consider crossing the river, Doug Bailyn is fantastic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:35 PM Flag
[ - ] A friend from the Midwest is considering coming to NY for a conference. The address of the conference will be E 124th Street. She’s asking if it’s safe. What would you advise your out-of-town friend? I mean, I wouldn’t hesitate to go but she will be walking around there feeling nervous. And I really don’t know that neighborhood. 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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what will make her nervous? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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It's fine. As in any neighborhood in a major metro area, the key is to be aware of your surroundings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 PM Flag
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Bull shit. It is not like being midtown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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Of course not. Lack of white people and chain restaurants and tourist gift shops would scare anyone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:22 PM Flag
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does she ever spend time in any city? what advice is she asking for -- whether or not to go to the conference? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 PM Flag
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C'mon. Let's drop the political correctness. The friend is going to be walking around Spanish Harlem and wants to know if it's safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:00 PM Flag
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And it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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No. People on here complain about the homeless in the subway and how scared they are in certain neighborhoods. Don't give me the Spanish Harlem crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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How scared you are by "certain neighborhoods" has nothing to do with whether or not they're actually safe. You know that right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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You just repeated my sentiment. People are scared where it is not reasonable to be scared. So the moral of this story is: don't rely on others' definition of "scary" because it's not reliable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 PM Flag
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Whether or not it's safe is unrelated to how she is going to feel while she's walking around. If she doesn't spend time in cities, or around brown people, she's probably a flyover racist and you should absolutely encourage her to come so she has great stories to scare her friends with when she goes home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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That area has serious drug issues. But--if your friend is attending a conference there, she would presumably be in a line of work that has a presence in that area, right? Like social work, medicine, etc/ So, what's the problem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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Is she really going to be nervous around brown people? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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Questions like this are so rude and obnoxious. She's asking you, presumably a New Yorker, if the place you live is safe. FFS, they're openly carrying weapons at her local supermarket but she's scared of NY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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And yet feel free to comment on safety to someone from Chicago... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:40 PM Flag
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It's a conference. Does she really think she's gonna get mugged going to and from the discounted restaurants? Please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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Depends, does conference go at night. In any event, I would tell her daytime, stay with another person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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oh please people, I hate when you all act holier than thou & flame an OP for a perfectly reasonable question. I posted about the possibility of buying on East 110 and everyone warned me about some projects or shelters I cant remember. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 PM Flag
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It is not politically correct to say, but poor teenage boys are more likely to murder you than middle class teenage boys. If you go near poor teenage boys and get murdered shame on you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:19 PM Flag
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LOL this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:19 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:19 PM Flag
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Just tell her it is not a good neighborhood. Tell her do not walk alone by herself, keep her purse close to her body. Do not talk to anyone she does not know. Will she be there at night? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:17 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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Hust tell her the truth, that whites are beaten and sonetimes killed just for gong in a neighborhood that is not white https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/baton-rouge-family-white-beaten-black-wrong-neighborhood/comment-page-2/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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Hust? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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Sorry. I meant to say just. People from outside NY just do not know how it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:22 PM Flag
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Yes they do, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:22 PM Flag
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Will the conference be at a hotel? Where is she staying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:43 PM Flag
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not a good neighborhood based on what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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Crime stats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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DeBlasio is constantly spewing anti white race hatred. White skin is the sin. This poor white man was beaten to death. His killer specifically said killing whites is his goal https://nypost.com/2013/09/11/retired-train-conductor-beaten-to-death-in-union-square-hate-crime/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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FAKE NEWS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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Really? The New York Post is fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:26 PM Flag
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Except that Bloomberg was mayor in 2013, son. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:31 PM Flag
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I'm assuming that OP isn't a troll. Tell your friend that it's a nice, safe neighborhood, and if she can take an Uber to her conference from a neighborhood with "different demographics" if that's her issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:29 PM Flag
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It is not safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:42 PM Flag
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This. I work in public health and spend time around there all the time. I agree that adults shouldn't be so squeamish about walking around urban areas, most likely in broad daylight, and OP's friend will be fine going to her conference. But this area is K2 central. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:55 PM Flag
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She will be fine, but this is not a "nice, safe neighborhood". Are you crazy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:56 PM Flag
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I've lived in NY since the 90s, the OP's friend should take an Uber if she's afraid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:17 PM Flag
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Depends on how far east it is. 1 East 124th is a lot safer than say 300 East 124th St. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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+ 1. The area around the 4,5,6 line and the Metro snort he stop is awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Just had visitors from out of town. They broke my toilet and took my iPad charger. This is why I never want a country house. If I do I'm getting something very small and keeping it a secret. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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How do you break a toilet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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Shitty people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:58 PM Flag
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Probably a fat red neck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:01 PM Flag
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I had guests break my toilet seat while having sex on it, but they went out and bought me a new one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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OMG, of all the places I would not want to have sex. Ick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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what does any of this have to do with a country house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 PM Flag
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The company you keep... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 PM Flag
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Hate houseguests! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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You are not a hostess by nature. Your complaints sound petty and cheap. Shit happens, pun intended. Perhaps your toilet, pipes and plumbing are in need of repair before you invite guests over. And the charger thing...cheap and petty. Do you put label items in the fridge ‘homeowner’s only - don’t touch!’ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 PM Flag
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To be happy having a country house and having visitors a lot you have to kind of be like the mom who loves to have 6 kids. Stuff going on all the time and mayhem everywhere, stuff gets broken and spilled. You sound more like a 1 dc mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:25 PM Flag
[ - ] MIL vent! This weekend my ILs were in town for DB's 2nd birthday party. I was running around like a maniac getting ready for the party, and when I was 6 ft up on a ladder in the garage decorating my MIL stuck her head in the garage to inform me that DB woke up from his nap and is crying so I need to get him out of the crib. There were 4 other adults in the house!! Including her DS, my DH and DB's dad. Also, when the party was over she kept commenting on how it was "good birth control." So rude! 89 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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Sorry that was unclear. My DH is her DS and DB's dad. Obviously he, or either grandparent/BIL could have gotten DB out of crib. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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Thanks for clarifying! I was thinking you had a very progressive family! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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All you had to say was, "I'm sure DH can handle it," and continue what you were doing. Actions speak louder than words. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:00 PM Flag
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My reply was similar to that. A neutral but pleasant- someone else can do it. I'm still annoyed though. Her BC comment really hurt my feelings. This was a kids party and yes, kids can get wild, but they're suppose to be able to let loose and have fun during a bday party. None of the children (there were about 20 kids) were misbehaving. I worked really hard on this party. The kids and adults all seemed to have a great time. It was just very deflating to have her turn to me at the end of the party and say that the party was good birth control with a sour look on her face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:13 PM Flag
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Did you tell her to go get DH? Did you tell DH this is the last fucking time she comes over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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I told her to get someone else to take DB out of crib. I want to tell DH that this is the last time she comes over, but he just doesn't want to hear it. He gets annoyed when I vent about his mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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Who would disown their mother over nonsense? That is annoying but not to that level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:54 PM Flag
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I know right? Women here are bitches. I am not saying her MIL is not annoying, but most women of that age are fairly annoying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:56 PM Flag
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For lack of a better word -- and I don't care if you chicks attack me -- but MIL sounds autistic. Can you imagine, finding the OP on a ladder where she's trying frantically to prepare for a party, and informing her that the baby is crying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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Or just selfish, doesn't want to approach a poopy diaper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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I think mostly selfish. She's one of those retired people who thinks the world revolves around her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 PM Flag
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Too many people use austistic as an excuse for bad behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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I think there is truth to that. When a family member who is an addict steals from you, is it ok because they have a disease? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 PM Flag
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I think she does these things on purpose to bother me. She knows what she's doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 PM Flag
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My MIL is like this. She acts like she is too worried to do the wrong thing, so she does nothing. It's BS though. She just doesn't want to help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:54 PM Flag
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Not true. Too many women, even here, think they should be worshipped because th3ey produced a child with a penis. That attitude needs to be changed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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MIL has 3 sons. She totally thinks she's the queen and should be worshipped. She can't stand having another woman around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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Agree. I would never "disown" over a few rude comments. Her actions make it much less appealing to spend time with them, however. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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As he should. It is his mother. He knows her faults and doesnt need to hear his wife bash her. Hopefully your beautiful child will extend you the same courtesy when he/she is married and the spouse is bashing you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:55 PM Flag
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FWIW, his mom obviously favors his 2 brothers and speaks to him on the phone about once every 2 years. They are not close. She doesn't like that he not dependent on her. She cultivates dependence in her other sons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:01 PM Flag
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OK then do it as a courtesy to your husband then. You dont have to like someone to hold your tongue. Be the bigger person and treat her as decently as you can while she is in your home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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Fuck that. Tell DH he needs to run interfence. Are you another mom of boy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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Yes, I am. Mom of 2 boys- 5 and 2 years old. I do try and keep in mind that some day I'll just be an annoying MIL too and see things from her perspective. Honestly, she is just so dour and weird that it is hard to see things from her perspective sometimes. Like what is her perspective? I don't understand her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:33 PM Flag
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Thanks. This is good advice. I try to treat her graciously and will redouble my efforts moving forward. I suspect that she enjoys creating tension in my home. I can't let her get to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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You are being too nice. You need to be polite, but communicate subtly the problem is HER, which it is. Tell DH he needs to stick up for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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He has stuck up for me in the past, but honestly he's so busy with work he just doesn't want to deal, which I understand. How do you recommend subtly communicating the problem is her? Do I communicate this directly to MIL? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:31 PM Flag
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No, is he around when she makes the awful BC comment? He heeds to tell her when she says something offensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:44 PM Flag
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I'm not sure if he heard the birth control comments. She made the comments directly to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:55 PM Flag
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BS. MIL has an extra chromosome. She's not solving problems; she's creating them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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Totally!! She creates non-stop problems when she offered to help. Also, she wants all the attention on her. Prior to the party she lightly burned her finger. It was a tiny burn- the kind of thing that regularly happens while cooking. You'd think she cut her finget off. She was moaning about her finger throughout the party showing people her tiny blister in an obvious attempt to get sympathy/attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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What an ASS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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Tell him too fucking bad, he can go visit his mom. Stop being a doormat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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A little extreme? MIL parented in different times where her husband probably did zero. OP probably had her terrified to go get the baby herself so as not to violate some sort of "rule" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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So MIL parented in a different time so I have to do absolutely everything while she swans around complaining? I told MIL and FIL that if they are over that afternoon can they please help out with DB so I could get ready for the party. I don't have any "rules" about getting DB out of his crib when he wakes up for a nap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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So you sweetly respond "Mary, thanks for letting me know. I am kind of tied up right now. Could you do me a favor and go get the baby? Thanks!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 PM Flag
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This! How many people on here get mad when their mil holds their baby too long or monopolizes the kids. MILs can not win and must walk on eggshells. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:01 PM Flag
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Any guest in someone's home needs to be on their best behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 PM Flag
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LOL, no one is asking for walking on eggshells, just be polite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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Polite is picking up someone's crying baby? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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No, it is going to DH who is not on a fucking ladder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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Yes, when you offered to help, picking up crying DB, your grandchild, is the polite thing to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:35 PM Flag
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I have never said a single word about MIL monopolizing the kids; this is not our issue. She acts supremely annoyed by the kids, so I don't think she is interested in monopolizing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:25 PM Flag
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My response was similar to that. After she made all the "good birth control" comments, however, I'm sick of sugar coating my responses to her rudeness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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She is jealous that you are fertile and she is not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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The next time she says that, just say you find that incredibly offensive and you love your children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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I will. Next time I'm going to call her out on her rude comments, even if it's just playing dumb like "good birth control- what do you mean by that? I don't understand" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:36 PM Flag
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But I agree that banning her from our house is extreme. I am just so over her constant trolling and undermining. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 PM Flag
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How can a MIL troll? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:00 PM Flag
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By purposely trying to get under my skin. Last year they stayed with us for 2 weeks. I asked her as politely as humanly possible to (i) not take her dogs to poop in the neighbor's yard (we have a large fenced yard), (ii) not park directly behind my car, and (iii) not the TV blasting when she leaves a room. She went OUT OF HER WAY to break each rule and every oppurtunity. That is trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:23 PM Flag
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So just limit her to once a year. Let DH visit her other times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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Problem is that BIL, her favorite, moved to our city so now she visits him regularly which puts her in our orbit. She is also extremely cagey about giving basic information when she visits. They were planning on visting for 5 MONTHS this winter (they would rent their own place) but refused to tell us the dates they are considering. That plan has been scrapped thank goodness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:42 PM Flag
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does she have keys to your house? Let them visit BIL all she wants [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:04 PM Flag
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No, but they will stop by unannounced when visiting BIL and then try and take DH out for dinner for them, leaving me at home with the kids. I haven't gone out to eat with my parents w/o kids since I had kids! They'd love to take just me out to dinner. Next time they're in town that's exactly what is happening. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:17 PM Flag
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If he does not say, sorry, he is the problem. At least they should take the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:49 PM Flag
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Marriage counseling so dh understands how his mom needs to behave in order to be welcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:56 PM Flag
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And learns that he has to pick up db in this situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:56 PM Flag
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No, it is the mom's fault that dh left his own baby crying while his wife climbs ladders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:01 PM Flag
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It is her fault she approached DIL instead of her ds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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I get that but notice op posted about mil instead of dh. I would pissed about dh in this situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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Maybe, depends if he heard and what he was doing at the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:08 PM Flag
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Exactly. I was in the garage. I'm not sure what he was doing in the house. Normally, if he heard DB wake up he would of course get him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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My dh and I always take care of our kids. I never leave my kids and go to the garage unless my dh knows he should be there. My dh is the same. I would not expect mil or my mom to take this responsibility. Our kids, our responsibility. When my in-laws or mom visit, I do not treat them like the help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:23 PM Flag
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She offered to help with the kids!! I did not assume that she would help or even ask for her help. I think it is perfectly fine to go into the garage to work on the party when there are 4 other adults in the home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:45 PM Flag
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Not the point, she should have gone to her son [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:45 PM Flag
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I'm not sure what he was doing in the house at this time. He usually gets DB out of crib if I'm busy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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I recently took "Children of Aging Self-Absorbed Parents" out of the library. Good read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:59 PM Flag
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From the title alone I can tell this book has potential! ILs are VERY self-absorbed. They think that since they retired it's "their time." Which is totally fine, but don't have "your time" on my couch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 PM Flag
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Do you think our parents are any more self absorbed than parents today? Frankly I am pretty stunned at the level of self absorbtion I read here every day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:04 PM Flag
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Parenting forces us to suspend our self-absorption for a while. Grandparenting doesn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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The difference is that many times, the mom of the wife cares about her kid, the mom of the DH cares about him, AND expects that wife does all childcare and housekeeping. DH needs to make it clear to her THAT IS NOT HOW THINGS WORK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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Actually, I got the book to deal with my own mom. She has those same traditional gender role values. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:17 PM Flag
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She is super polite to my dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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This is our situation. MIL loves helping her DSs to the point of making them dependent. She is angry and resentful when she thinks she is helping me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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The book basically says that obnoxious aging parents aren't going to become polite, self-aware, or considerate. The book equips you with techniques to show no emotion when they provoke you, to ignore their attempts to get attention, and to give them less attention when they act out. It tells you to focus on being happy in your own life so you can be more resilient to their attempts to undermine or attack you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 PM Flag
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Perfect. I'm ordering this book on my kindle now. I am the happiest I've been now, and MIL seems to resent our happiness and success. Last year she took my DH out to dinner and lied to him about something I never said in a blatant attempt to sow discord. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:49 PM Flag
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I think next time you use it as good excuse to catch up on errand outside home, and say how great it will be that they can spend time with dh and grandchildren. Then leave! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:01 PM Flag
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I am guessing awful MIL only comes at parties, when she knows she can pull this crap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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What crap? She raised her kids, now op raises her own, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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It takes a village [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:44 PM Flag
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The Birth control comment was way out of line. And MIL can go to her son when she sees DIL on ladder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:45 PM Flag
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I'm sorry but it is crap to come to my house offering to help with the kids, then push everything on me and make rude comments about the party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:51 PM Flag
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I do raise my own kids. Having MIL over for a couple of hours before a party to help (which she offered unsolicited- I would have much preferred it if they stayed hom) is hardly raising my kids. FWIW we live 1,000 miles away and these are her only grandkids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:53 PM Flag
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Will do. Unfortunately in this situation I had so much to do to get ready for the party I had to stay and get things done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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My SIL visited us this weekend and every time she did anything for my DC (her niece and nephew) she acted like she was doing me a favor. For example, I was in the bathroom and she called out "Billy wants a glass of water, but don't worry I'll get it." This mentality is what makes parenting so overwhelming for mothers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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Agree. My own mom perpetuates this, she puts my dh on a pedestal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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That's how my MIL acts! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:50 PM Flag
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ummm, isn't it a favor? The obligation for taking care of a child rests with the mother and father, no one else. No need to point it out every time, but it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:32 PM Flag
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Father first if mom is on a ladder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:48 PM Flag
[ - ] For the smart ones out there, is there a way to figure out the % of kids scoring within each number score for the state tests? Like x% has this raw/scaled score (e.g. 625)? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.16.18, 02:43 PM Flag
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why would you want to do that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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We know 625 marks the top 10% on each test, because that's how Hunter sets their cutoff. Counting the number of students in 5th grade on average (which you can get from DOE websites) and the number of kids who qualify for the Hunter test historically (also available with some web searching, but not for this year), you can estimate that about 2% of NYC 5th grade test takers score in the top 10% of both ELA and Math. Maybe others know a math-y way to do it. I don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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It seems to be scaled to a normal distribution with mean 600 and stdev 20 at the state level. From there you can compute the percentiles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 PM Flag
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I really wish I knew how to do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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top-10% would be at 625.6 for the state, maybe a point or two above for city kids. Hunter defines their cutoff at the top-10% for each score. How many students score above 625 in both depends on the correlation between both scores, which we don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:00 PM Flag
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I std dev = 90%; 2 std dev = 99%? This right? I'm digging deep to return to my math education now. . . Assuming yes, why is 1 std dev = 625.6? I shd just take a stats course, obviously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:30 PM Flag
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My stat knowledge is a bit dated too, but 1 stdev is 84.13% according to the z-value table. 90% is 1.28 stdev. 2 stdev is 97.72%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:59 PM Flag
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Here are the theoretical percentiles, assuming mean 600 and stdev 20, which does seem to be the case for all the tests (reverse-engineered from the disclosed percentiles for levels 1-4): Median 600, 75% 613.5, 90% 625.6, 95% 632.9, 98% 641.1, 99% 646.5. In reality, the percentiles will occur at discrete scale scores corresponding to the raw scores for the number of correct questions. (You can get the discrete scale scores from NYSED's raw-score-to-scale-score conversion tables.) So you should round these percentiles to the nearest discrete scale score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:29 PM Flag
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Not that it answers your question, but usually Hunter sets the cut off so about 3,000 kids or so qualify to test (my understanding is about 2,500 sign up). You figure the higher up you go (from 90% to 99%) fewer kids at each level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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Hunter sets cutoff at top 10% (statewide, as I understand it) of each test. The number of students in the city who meet that percentile vary from year to year -- I found an article from around 2008 or 2010 that talked about this . . . assuming it hasn't changed (and there's no suggestion anywhere that it has). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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what difference does any of this make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:54 PM Flag
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Hunter acceptance ratio is hovering around 7% if that's what you want to know. If you figure all the stats out, you might get an enhanced accuracy of perhaps, +/-0.005%, if that matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Are their "Child" dermatologists or only regular ones that see kids. I'd like to see a dermatologist on UWS or UES for my 6 year old ...any recommendations...my ped has been clueless regarding this issue. TIA! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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Google "pediatric dermatology." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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Can't your ped refer you to someone if he/she is baffled? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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Ask your pediatrician for a referral. Ours sent us to Elena Jones on East 86th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 PM Flag
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Print a list from your insurance web site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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NYU and Mount Sinai both have ped dermatologists. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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*Are there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:00 PM Flag
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Your ped is clueless about whether a pediatric dermatologist is a thing that exists? Yikes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:23 PM Flag
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Mt. Sinai has s pediatric dermatology dept [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] For those with kids at Brooklyn Tech: thoughts on ranking Brooklyn Tech above Stuy because of "fit" for your kid? Anyone done it and regretted it? Or been super-glad they did? I think that's what my son wants to do. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.16.18, 02:41 PM Flag
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Then do it. we ranked BS instead of stuy and it was the right decision for dd (no point ranking stuy if you don't rank it first by the way). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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I get that, but I'm asking him to rank any school he'd want to attend just on the infinitesimal possibility that student preferences change wildly (or DOE diversity initiatives change things up) -- even though there is really no way the Tech cutoff will be higher than Stuy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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definitely no reason not to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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I don’t think there’s that risk with Tech - but with Bronx maybe. It costs nothing to rank Stuy second or third. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:19 PM Flag
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DD's score was over the Stuy cutoff, but she preferred the "vibe" at Bronx Science and that's what she put first. If your DC prefers Brooklyn Tech then by all means put it first - it's a great school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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what's the commute? I'd factor that above the elusive "fit". Hard to be sure of such a thing at such enormous schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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Depends where you live, but Tech is served by a number of different subway lines. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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We're equidistant from these 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 PM Flag
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Then it would be foolish to pick Stuy if he doesn't really want to go there. Brooklyn Tech's kids take the same entrance exam and are just as bright. Does either Stuy or Tech offer a class or opportunity that the other doesn't? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:56 PM Flag
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There are different opportunities, but in terms of what interests my kid, the academics would be similar. He'd maybe get to specialize a little more in math earlier at Tech (which he would like, maybe I would like it less, but it's fine either way). He'd like sports scene more at Tech, I think. It's not that he doesn't want to go to Stuy -- he liked the building and the classes, there's really nothing to hate about Stuy. I just think he felt the scene there was more intellectual, and more of his "smart" (but not intellectual, if that makes sense) friends from middle school would like/choose Tech, so it feels more like him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:19 PM Flag
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Then put BT first--I know kids who scored for Stuy but didn't want the full intensity so ranked Stuy lower. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:05 PM Flag
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NP: strongly disagree on BTech kids being "just as bright" as Stuy kids. Some are but not the majority. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:05 PM Flag
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Rank in your true order of preference. There’s no magic or trick. That being said, there’s no point in ranking Stuy anywhere but 1. It has the highest cutoff. So if your child qualifies, he or she qualifies for any of the other schools. And if BT is ranked first, that’s what your child is getting. We are ranking Bronx Science first btw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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Yep, my child and his best friend both super smart kids that test well- both attended NEST , I supsected that they would both qualify for Stuy and they did - one went to BX Sci the other Tech - both are happy with their decision - a combination of commute and not wanting the intense pressure of Stuy. I wanted Stuy for my kid for no other reason that it has the nicest facilities, good location and best reputation - but in the end I listened to the wants of my child and that was the best solution. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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I responded above you. This is truly refreshing to read. My child didn’t like Stuy at all, and I’m at peace with it if he doesn’t rank it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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oh yes, don't force it - I have a child doing well at Tech, nothing wrong with that - sure beats a kid who was pressured to attend Stuy and maybe not succeeding. I have cp,e to like Tech and never give Stuy a thought unless tech is competing against them in sports/robotics etc... in that case beat Stuy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:29 PM Flag
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I’m not forcing anything... he’s taking that test, he can go wherever he wants/gets! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:36 PM Flag
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Good for you: DS also picked BxSci over Stuy, and actually had to tell people that it was his first choice when they asked. People are funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:30 PM Flag
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My DD wants Stuy, apparently for the prestige, although I would be just as happy if she went to BxSci. (Commutes are also similar.) How does the HW compare between Stuy and BxSci? Did you have any different impressions of the students that attend each school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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Many of his MS friends went to Stuy - the 2 schools seem more alike than different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:09 PM Flag
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Plenty of people do. Let your ds rank the way he wants— he’s the one that has to attend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:17 PM Flag
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I used to volunteer at the city and borough-wide school fairs, and I was often at the table with a parent who had twin sons: one attended Bronx Science, which DD attended, and the other went to Tech. She said that he had taken the SHSAT as a 10th grader, which is difficult, because she wanted to go to BxSci with his brother, but didn't make it. But by then he had made friends at Tech, and the two boys were perfectly happy where they were. And she admitted that each was a great fit. So she would work both tables, pulling her BxSci shirt over her Tech t-shirt, and then pulling it off as she went back and forth! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:27 PM Flag
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Sure. If that's what ds wants, then he should do it. The worst thing would be to be stuck at Stuy and complaining that your mother made you put it down first as an excuse for any lack or enthusiasm or good grades. At that age, they should have some ownership over the decision so they can be responsible for it and embrace it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:01 PM Flag
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And the schools aren't that different from the DOE perspective except for the workload. It is the students that are different and account for one being considered better than the other. The kid getting 1600 on their SATs at Stuy would also get 1600 at Tech. Kwim? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 PM Flag
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There's obviously no logic in ranking Stuy after BTech. You can rank BTech and nothing after it, as it has the second lowest cutoff. Cannot comment on "fit", as it was not one of our top choices in the application. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:03 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone try ketamine therapy? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:41 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? Few months ago I broke-up with the man I was seeing for an year. It was a rash discussion from my part, and he hasn't responded to my numerous apologizes. His birthday is next week. Should I send him a birthday message, or just let it go? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:36 PM Flag
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Let it go. It is the humane thing to do. When my ex-husband left me for another women he has the nerve to wish me a Happy Mother's day 2 months after he left. It was very cruel and stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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Let it go and move on with your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:38 PM Flag
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I'd let it go. I think his non-response is indicative that he wants to leave things in the past. I'm sorry. Breakups never stop sucking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:38 PM Flag
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I am curious, why was your breakup sudden and why are you apologetic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:39 PM Flag
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He was going through a rough patch, and I wasn't understanding, supportive or patient. I beat myself every day thinking about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:44 PM Flag
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Well if it will make you feel better, if things were meant to be, it would have worked out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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Did you apologize and want to be friends or did you apologize and want to get back together? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:31 PM Flag
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He's completely soured on you seeing your name on his birthday would just be bringing back the old wound. Unless truly think he's the one and really want to get back together I'd leave him alone because you're only doing it to make yourself feel better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:32 PM Flag
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DH Here. No one wants to have a discussion about your rashes. I think that this one is gone for good; just let it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:06 PM Flag
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Dad Joke Alert^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:19 PM Flag
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Let it go. If he hasn't yet responded, sending a birthday message is a creeper move and makes it seem like you're stalking him to get back with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:18 PM Flag
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You've told him how you feel, he hasn't responded. There's your answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a voracious speed reading daughter (age 9) and am buying books constantly. She is almost done with a series and I need something for her to start afterwards. She loved School for Good and Evil, Keeper of Lost Cities, Pennyroyal Academy and a bazillion others. If you have a girl who loves to read (or boy! ) and can think of any books they are loving/have loved -- would much appreciate it! 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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land of stories. at least 5 books in series [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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Buying? Why? How far is the library? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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+100000000. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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Not to mention, she will have fun exploring the Library. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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seriously and librarians can give great recommendations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:40 PM Flag
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This. At 9 years old, she should be picking out her own books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:02 PM Flag
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I buy and go to library. But if ever there were an industry to support I think it is books so I'm ok with buying and then donating to those who can't buy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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+1000000000000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 PM Flag
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Support the library. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:02 PM Flag
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If she has an iPad she can get the books from the library on her device, and you don't even have to go. My DS has blown through multiple series this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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u r so lucky [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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You can buy thousands of worn used paperbacks cheap on abe books. check that out. so much nicer to buy a paperback than to borrow from library [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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It's not really meant to be "speed-read" IMO, but I introduced my 9 yo to the Little House series and she absolutely loves it. I loved it too at that age, and it's fun to share that with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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I read that series to her -- really enjoyed it as well (except some of the more graphic passages about animal's innards!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:36 PM Flag
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Nancy Drew the old ones that I read at her age in the 70's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:36 PM Flag
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She has read a lot of those and loved them! I remember back in the day reading 99 steps in a day. Ahh....those were the days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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hardy boys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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I loved those too as a kid but man on a reread they are BAD. So glad that kids have better options now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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Consider a Kindle: I access the NY Public Library on my Kindle and haven't bought a book in quite a while. You'll certainly cut down on your book costs! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:41 PM Flag
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The OP has $$$ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:43 PM Flag
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So do I, but I no longer have to carry my books around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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At that age 2 series my DD loved were Guardians of Gahoole and CHronicles of Ancient Darkness [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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Ooh thank you! She hasn’t read those! And I’m not wealthy (not poor either) As I said we both get books from the library and buy them because a) I like to support writers and b) sometimes my daughter likes to reread [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:50 PM Flag
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you know your own kid so you can decide, I think my DD was closer to 11 when she read these, but, at some point, your DD should reach Tamora Pierce -- DD's favorites are still the series that starts with Wild Magic (The Immortals). Definitely okay for her age is The Penderwicks and the rest of that series. My favorite books at your DD's age where The Shoe Books by Noel Streatfeild. I absolutely adored them. I haven't read the whole series but think Louise Erdrich's The Birchbark House series looks interesting and would be a good contract for a 9 year old to the Little House books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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^should read [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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^good contrast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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Hi OP. I have the same type of DD. There are so many - if you check back tonight I will go through her bookshelves (we also buy books - she loves her library and never really spends $ on anything else). If you go to Strand they have cards that say ('if you liked X try y). And we do series b/c once she gets into it she will read book after book (like 7-8 hrs a day!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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Yes this is my daughter to a tee! We love McNally Jackson, Books of Womder and the Strand! Much appreciation for any and all recommendations. I too am happy when she reads a series as she is then set for a little while. Many thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 PM Flag
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"The name of this book is Secret" series. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_of_this_Book_is_Secret [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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Percy Jackson - all of them, Mr. Lemoncello’s Library, Penderwicks, Grimm series, The Giver, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 PM Flag
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Black stallion books [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:21 PM Flag
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The Wollstonecraft Detective Agency series. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:17 PM Flag
[ - ] How many of you are registered to vote in more than one state? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:30 PM Flag
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me, I'm up to 28! Driving up to Vermont later this week to make it 29 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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Dont go there. No politics [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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My name is Putin, I'm registered in 50 states and two countries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:40 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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Two countries for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
[ - ] UB: Where people somehow can't afford to spend 3 months' net income on kids' education, but then think it's normal to resell old $5 t-shirts to their friends. LOL. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:28 PM Flag
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I think you are mistaken. There are different people doing this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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There are some here who make millions per year and some here that make very little. Those selling the shirts make less than those that send three kids to TT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:33 PM Flag
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Lol, you'd think so. But you'd be surprised. I know people in Park slope who do both. -NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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Yes, I always think it's hilarious when people post so blithely about spending $50K per year for kindergarten, and then the next post is crowdsourcing opinions about whether or not to toss some nasty salmon fillet that's been sitting in their fridge for five days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Go ahead and flame me but I'm a single parent of a DD with ADHD. We don't own a television and I forbid video and computer games. DD is 8 and has never played Minecraft. I know this is socially isolating but as I see it, these games are not exactly social activities. Can any of you tell me anything positive that comes from video/computer games? 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:24 PM Flag
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So dont get it. Video games are not as big with girls anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:26 PM Flag
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they are social activities when they play the games with their friends. also it's social currency. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:27 PM Flag
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Social currency as if you have the latest all the kids want to go to yours and play? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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No, if the kids are talking about it at school, you don't want your kid sitting there like a luddite. also, kids play with each other online -- no need to go to other people's houses to play. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:36 PM Flag
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See, this is where I think it is anti-social. I think for kids it is important to see each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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As a mother of older kids I will say I sometimes think the same thing, but when kids are together, they're all just looking at their phones anyway. When my kids are playing games online with their friends I'm hearing lots of interaction and laughing and problem solving and silly conversations. Way more than when they're all in the same room. I wonder about this generation a lot... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:56 PM Flag
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np: No, it's social currency in that you can talk about it and have it as a common bond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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No flames necessary! my 11 year old has no video game console. He's never played minecraft. He has lots of friends, loves sports and books and the occasional good movie. It's not socially isolating at all. You raise your DD the way that works best for your family. Who cares what others think? You sound like a great mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:28 PM Flag
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Thanks! I kind of feel like a mean mom but I just know our limitations and what we can handle distraction-wise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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+1! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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I know nothing about ADHD or how video games may affect a child who has it. But my general wonderment about all the extreme anti-electronics sentiment on UB comes from the fact that...didn't we all grow up in the 70s, 80s, 90s? I know it's different now because of smartphones, laptops, tablets etc that weren't around when we were kids but did anyone here really grow up without Atari, Colecovision, Intellivision, Nintendo in all its versions, etc? And of course we all had VCRs once they became common in the mid 80s and did nothing but rent movies all weekend...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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I grew up with zero video games because my mom was like OP and it sucked [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:40 PM Flag
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Haha! One year I gave out raisins for Halloween too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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Me too...but I didn't care. I played at friend's houses if I wanted to, but had other interests--which, I believe, was the idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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No, we were playing outside all day long. We may have watched movies on weekends but only after we were outside all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:08 PM Flag
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I'm anti-screen (not too super) and I grew up in the 70s. Went through all those phases. I went from watching Sunday only cartoons to MTV all day long. I am on internet now all the time too. So I don't think being on the grid constantly is a good thing, esp when you start young. There needs to be a time for DC to learn to use her imagination, play with lego, build stuff instead of vegging out in front of a screen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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does DD have friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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Yes but not many. DD goes to a private school and doesn't live near schoolmates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:44 PM Flag
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Everything in moderation. My kids play video games, they also pay sports and hang out with their friends. I don't forbid anything safe and let my kids try most things they express an interest in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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Curious why you forbid video games? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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We had had a few on the iPad but DD learned the password to the apple account and charged $700 on the account for new games and apps so was concerned that she might get obsessed with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:43 PM Flag
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that's not a reason to ban video games -- a lot of games are very confusing for younger kids regarding what's real world money vs in-game currency. That's a teaching moment. And kids get obsessed with all sorts of things -- that's what kids do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 PM Flag
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Sounds like she has some impulse control issues! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:49 PM Flag
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lol she's a kid. of course she does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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She has ADHD. Impulse control is a major factor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:17 PM Flag
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some video games can actually help that, you know. There are games that reward patience and ding impulsivity. But I feel like you just want to take this stand that all video games are bad and ban them so go ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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My DS has a friend like this. No TV, no video games. No Nerf guns. He's such a nice boy but the truth is, my DS is literally his only friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:38 PM Flag
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I actually know many kids like this and they all have friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:08 PM Flag
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We don't have a (working TV) but we wants videos sometimes. We don't play video games much--occasionally. We don't play with toy guns. My son is very into sports, reading, music [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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It's relaxation and entertainment. We all do that in one form or another. DD does other things too, so it's not like that's all she does. What do you do for relaxation or entertainment, OP? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:50 PM Flag
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We usually do things out of the house for entertainment, museums, exercise, activities. DD loves to paint and draw and I set her up with a little art studio. When she has nothing else to do she usually goes in there and makes something. She also loves music so has a little iPod she plays while she works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 PM Flag
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OR: so does my DD! See, it's not all or nothing. Do what you want, but not everyone out there is addicted to video games and television. Some are balanced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:24 PM Flag
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Someone on here roomed with a girl freshman year of college who wasn't allowed TV at home. The girl never went to class because she had to catch up on a full childhood's worth of TV. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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DD gets to play with the iPad on the weekend. There are shows she watches. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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My 8 is the same. We don't own TV or games, just because TV broke and there really was no need to replace. We watched movies once in a while but he's not a big fan. No games. He has tons of friends. He reads a lot too. Honestly I think in the long term, there are more benefits than the other choice, at least for my DC. Friends constantly have to fight to limit screen time. Taking away the iPad is a major battle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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My dd is 11 and has never played video games. None of her friends play either. I do not think video games are very common for girls. My son plays a bit and me not allowing violent video games has hurt him with some friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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Is she asking for a console? Some kids are interested, some not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:07 PM Flag
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i have an 11 DD with ADHD. I limit her screen time generally just to limited weekend time (if she is finished with homework) and breakfast during the week if she sits down on time. I let her play minecraft, but she was never really into it. Basically, it is all a reward for doing her work. It relaxes her - that is the big positive and it is also used as a reward for doing the things she needs to do - like homework, sitting down on time for breakfast, etc. I am a single parent too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Any restaurants you would recommend for a small family of 4, for Thanksgiving in NYC . kids are 6 years old. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:16 PM Flag
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Small as in midgets? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:20 PM Flag
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Those are referred to as "little" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:20 PM Flag
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Are technically, dwarfs, or those with dwarfism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:22 PM Flag
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Correct. But they're never referred to as "small." Unless, in the unfortunate event that the family surname is Small. I went to high school with a 6"5" 350lb haystack of a boy who was named Bob Small. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:24 PM Flag
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PP: DD and I were having a conversation the other day, in fact, about people with last names that are common words or even countries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:26 PM Flag
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My aunt was married to a man whose last name was London! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:27 PM Flag
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DH and DD share the name of a country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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Cool! I also know a woman whose last name is Parrot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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Are they the Frances? I know them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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Are little and small not synonyms? Why is one PC but not the other? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:25 PM Flag
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They are synonyms in general usage but not when speaking about dwarfism. "Little People" is the conversational term for dwarf. "Small people" would maybe refer to toddlers/preschoolers or perhaps just petite folks, as in "small people should not sit in the front passenger seat of the car due to airbag injuries that affect those under 5 feet tall and less than 100 lbs" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:28 PM Flag
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I'm sure there is a nice hotel with a big buffet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:25 PM Flag
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We do Sarabeth's, family of 4 also [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:26 PM Flag
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Plaza hotel . nice and festive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:26 PM Flag
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too christmas-y [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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Why not just cook [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:27 PM Flag
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Why not just MYOB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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OP here ...lol, because I cook about 350 nights a year and thought it would be nice to have a mindless holiday, its really the pre-prep and shopping that i despise :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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np I get it and also when it is a small group (4 people) all the food goes to waste [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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Park Avenue Autumn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:27 PM Flag
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Tavern on the Green [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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Korean town BBQ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:11 PM Flag
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i love hill country BBQ. very casual and great for kids. traditional type menu (turkey, stuffing, etc) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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Stone Park Cafe in Park Slope does Thanksgiving very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Can you help me think through this? DH really wants two DCs (twins) to go to private for K next year. I would be ok with private or public I think. I am planning to file for divorce early next year. Current HHI is $750k (DH makes the bulk of it) and rent is $9k. We would need two (smaller) apartments starting next year. Should I go through with private interviews knowing that we will need to maintain two apts next year? 81 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:13 PM Flag
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Short answer - no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:15 PM Flag
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Tangled web you're weaving [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:16 PM Flag
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yikes. hmmmm. are the twins the same sex ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:17 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:17 PM Flag
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is his take home pay about 30K per month ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:19 PM Flag
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You really need to study the divorce laws. But generally the more money DH is spending on the kids the day you file, the more money you get. So assume he is paying 100k for private tuition the judge will probably order him to pay that for all 13 years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:20 PM Flag
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So? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:20 PM Flag
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Here is how you do it, extract the biggest possible suppot order then after the divorce is final your lawyer can negotiate a deal where you send the kids to a good public school instead. This creates an extra 1.2 million ( 100k times 12 ) tell DH you only agree to public if you get half the 1.2 That is another tax free 600 k in your pocket. NY has some great public schools like 234 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:22 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:22 PM Flag
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it doesnt sound like OP and DH have that much money/income to end up with this arrangement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:09 PM Flag
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It's not clear that they have that much cash or that dh is earning 750k. It probably won't work out this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:00 PM Flag
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That is a lot of money on 750k HHI- 105-110k for tuition plus cost of a second apt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:21 PM Flag
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LOL. DH just has gots to work harder [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:23 PM Flag
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I have similar HHI and I agree w this and I have 2 in private and it is not easy. if we had to split up to pay for two households, private would be so tight, we would have no money for all the extras that we can squeeze in now like summer camp, vacations etc. and we have good assets but the monthly cash flow would be so tight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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Read this article. The NY Times says you should persuade DH to get a vasectomy before you let him know you are divorcing him. If you fail to do this he may have more kids with another woman, leaving less $ for op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:25 PM Flag
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but they always keep sperm frozen when you get V. I know plenty of people who had kids after a V [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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Ah. thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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Yep!! Friend’s DH did that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:10 PM Flag
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That's despicable. I hope your ex-husbands get the vasectomy reversed. That's just plain horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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Men do worse things. Grow up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:11 PM Flag
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My dh had a V and now has a pregnant girlfriend. He must have had it reversed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:15 PM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:11 PM Flag
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Heh. He’ll just reverse it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:10 PM Flag
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I would not recommend private school w 2 DCs with that income w maintaining two residences. it will be very very tight unless you are going to be increasing income sometime soon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:29 PM Flag
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y [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:30 PM Flag
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Why don't you just do a budget and see if there is enough money for 2 40K tuitions and 2 rented apartments at $4000-$5000/month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:46 PM Flag
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She could move to Queens. Or Wash Hts. Or inwood. There are many, many options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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Are you joking? wash heights is more violent than Tribeca [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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WHAT?? Lol. I live in Wash Hts and it's fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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God, I wish so many of you would just get the hell out of this town! -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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Why? Are you seriously saying the violence in wash heights is comparable to Tribeca? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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and commute to private school which will most likely be on UES? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:08 PM Flag
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Yeah, how terrible to go from one part of manhattan to another! Who ever heard of such a thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:38 PM Flag
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inwood to UES is over an hr each way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:48 PM Flag
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you can get to ues from wash heights way faster than ues to tribeca. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:36 PM Flag
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What do assets look like? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:30 PM Flag
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Op: about $800k in savings. Just started making this HHI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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do not do private!!!!! trust me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:39 PM Flag
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I will add to this: if you stay married, then fine private is ok but it still will be very very tight and there are so many extras that you still need to pay for: after school activities, summer camp, maybe a tutor here and there, vacations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:40 PM Flag
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You can't afford private. Not even close. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:55 PM Flag
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totally agree. if OP ends up in private, it will be such a tight financial squeeze that life will not be easy/pleasant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:08 PM Flag
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good question. but when it comes to paying tuition for 13 yrs, better not to dip into assets/savings unless they are extensive and I doubt OP would be renting if she has significant assets [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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Why are you divorcing the critter ? and you think he has no idea ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:39 PM Flag
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Deer in the headlights [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:39 PM Flag
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Hmm I know a family in my DD TT that bought two apartments after divorce. A three bedroom and a studio, The two kids live in the three bedroom and parents rotate in and out. Kids love it because it doesnt even feel like a divorce [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:38 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:39 PM Flag
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I love this idea for the kids but he is abusive and may be mentally ill so I never want to share a space with him again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:41 PM Flag
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Sorry bout that. How does a mentally ill guy make all that money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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how the hell do you know he makes any money? could all be family money or the wife could be the big $$ earner. sheesh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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She stated that he makes the majority of the $$ in her original post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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I'm talking about this response, not the OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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Very smart. High functioning with a personality disorder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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Again. You are counting too much on his income. Get cash payout. Don’t count on college being paid for. These guys get out of it all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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This question is ignorant. My ex-dh is very mentally ill, with personality disorders, bipolar, and substance abuse issues. And he is an MD at a top tier bank. He's a certifiable asshole, but he had his shit together professionally and manages to keep his long held job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:26 PM Flag
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Well, if he’s mentally ill he won’t be able to hold onto that good job forever. Mental illness affects the brain more and more over time. He will not be able to function [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:13 PM Flag
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this sounds great for the kids. But isnt it awkward for the adults? they are using the same bed and have personal belongings etc. I guess the parents have to be on good terms and respect each other. My parents are divorced and this would never have worked out for them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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I have heard of this too. Shared family home, where the kids always reside, and each parent maintains a separate small place. I have not heard of the studio or 1bed part being shared though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:46 PM Flag
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You can't do this on a 750K HHI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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Go through with the interviews and see how the year develops and where the twins are accepted. I think its perfectly do-able if you both are willing to sacrifice on your apartments slightly. Ie ; a small 2 bedroom , and let him get a studio in the same apartment building, or a small one bedroom. He gives the DC the bedroom with bunks for their visits and he has to deal with the LR. IT WORKS. I believe Private is WELL worth making some sacrifices in living arrangements. I believe you should make the commitment and sign the contracts and then deal with the early stages of divorce next Fall. Once he has committed to paying the tuition it will be hard to backtrack to public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:40 PM Flag
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Why would he accept living in a studio and putting her in a 2 bed? All so the kids can go to private school? It's not going to work out that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 PM Flag
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Keep in mind, if you end up divorcing, DH will find a way to show his income as being less than it actually is so he wont have to pay as much to you. EVERY single divorce I have witnessed plays out like this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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she has a year to document. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:44 PM Flag
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but for the future income, they get creative with reporting it. I have seen people get very sneaky w their incomes to hide it from the ex spouse . you can even report less the yr you file for divorce in order to appear to be making less money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:52 PM Flag
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Never count on anything except a fair division of assets in a divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 PM Flag
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Uh no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:15 PM Flag
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are you serious? you dont know anyone who got screwed over in a divorce? happens all the time . I know from personal experience and from several close friends the nitty gritty of went goes down [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:16 PM Flag
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So what can you do to prevent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:53 PM Flag
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nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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So this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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please also factor in the cost of the actual divorce. you will seriously dip into saving to pay for the lawyers and the divorce proceedings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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To have two kids in NYC private and not be worrying about making ends meet you really need to be at $1mm+ (or $150k or below to get FA). Tuition rises every year and you have to look at supplies, uniforms (even non uniform schools have PE and Sports), transportations, trips, etc. Plus you'd probably like to save for college and retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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100%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:03 PM Flag
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I definitely don't think so. How much of HHI do you earn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:59 PM Flag
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You should do whatever is best for your kids. Public is better, IMO, but I also think divorce is irrelevant to this decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:32 PM Flag
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Why not just do the interviews, see if they are even accepted, and decide later in the Spring? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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