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[ - ] Has anybody been shut out of schools like Birch and Léman for MS with decent grades and average ISEE? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:51 PM Flag
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I think these schools sometimes WL kids who they don’t think want to come. What do you consider average isee? I think teacher reports are more important than people realize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:06 PM Flag
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And the problem with WL is a lot of schools never go to WL for middle.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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Really? Why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:07 AM Flag
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That surprises me. They don't have the PSD brokering like they do in K, so really don't know who is serious. Any likely places like Dalton get all the FC letters (to the extent people send them). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:42 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some of your favorite condiments? How do you use them? 70 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:48 PM Flag
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Recently discovered curry ketchup. I use it where. I typically would use regular ketchup. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:53 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:33 AM Flag
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I like a Harissa called cHarissa. It gives extra flavor to soups, or stews. I recently used it on sautéed beans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:55 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:33 AM Flag
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Op-or spices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:00 PM Flag
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Cumin. Sea vegetables I use like spices (replied below). Black garlic. White pepper just looks nicer than the little black flecks and some people whinge about pepper IF they can see it. Celery salt. I like spice blends like curry (experiment), pumpkin pie spice I'll use year round often instead of cinnamon. Experiment. I don't like cloves, I like ginger and it's good for you so I look for a spice higher in ginger and no cloves. Remember to buy fresh or grind your own and replace often. Check expiry labels when you buy too - my most recent purchase was expired :( Tomato paste in the tube. Anchovies paste in the tube. Umami/meaty/smoky, not fishy. Cashew butter for mouth feel, doesn't have a flavour. I feel like I'm forgetting a lot. HTH oh! Jalapeño powder. Lot that! More than hot sauce and cayenne. Smoked paprika from Turkey. I was using cocoa powder to experiment but learned that's high in heavy metals and bad stuff so stopped that and grinding cocoa nibs just isn't the same. Experiment with coffee too - interesting with fish and meat. Mesquite powder in baking, desserts. There's a book you can buy that shows you the flavour combinations - like raspberries with crab and almond with red meat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:48 AM Flag
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sooo many. cumin, coriander, turmeric, ginger, mustard seeds, basil, thyme are probably the most common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:44 PM Flag
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Hoisin sauce on shredded chicken. Oyster sauce on steamed broccoli. Sesame oil on vegetables. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:10 PM Flag
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Yum-- my new thing is to simply brush Hoisin over a pork tenderloin, oven t@ 400, and in 25 minutes it's done & delicious. I like Oyster sauce too, and Sesame Oil as a finishing oil--so good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:24 PM Flag
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cinnamon. put it in my yogurt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:10 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:33 AM Flag
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It's good this time of year too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:37 PM Flag
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Gag [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 11:26 PM Flag
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Oregano on lemon potatoes, and lemon chicken [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:25 PM Flag
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Cookie butter in my Greek yogurt. Olive spread on crackers. Sesame oil on raw baby carrots [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:39 PM Flag
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tapenade? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:33 AM Flag
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Kewpie Japanese mayonnaise. It is not my favorite but it is a tasty mayonnaise. I use it where I would use regular mayonnaise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:00 AM Flag
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how does it taste differently? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:33 AM Flag
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I really don’t know how to describe it but if you had a spicy California roll, the sauce is made using Japanese mayo. I like to use it especially when I have a boiled eggs. It’s very rich so you don’t need much to get a really nice flavor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:50 PM Flag
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Salsa. Erode. Tacos, bean stews, sautéed beans. I add it to any protein when I want some Mexican flavor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:01 AM Flag
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*Salsa Verde* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:01 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:34 AM Flag
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What's erode? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:33 AM Flag
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Spelling error. Autocorrect changed verde to erode [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:50 PM Flag
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Japanese sesame salad dressing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:48 AM Flag
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Kensington dijonnaise [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:48 AM Flag
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piment d'espellettes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:48 AM Flag
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Tajin - fruit, chips, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:26 AM Flag
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Horseradish sauce. Obsessed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:29 AM Flag
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I love hot sauce and use it on almost anything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:44 AM Flag
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I put that shit on everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:09 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:34 AM Flag
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Does no one here appreciate mustard?!? Mustard is amazing. On sandwiches, in potato salad and deviled eggs, on roast pork, on burgers, in salad dressing, in marinades. And there's so many different kinds. I could go on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:09 AM Flag
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I like really spicy mustard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:19 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:34 AM Flag
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I like the super grainy French kinds! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:25 PM Flag
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So I just tried vegemite for the first time (my daughter is doing a project on Australia) and I think I am going to incorporate it more! Salty and umami. Yum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:14 AM Flag
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How do you think you will use it. I bought it once and tossed it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:19 AM Flag
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NP I logged in to add how I do - I dip almonds. You might like marmite more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:35 AM Flag
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It’s deliciously salty and malty. It was good on buttered toast. I may add avocado. May make vegemite and cheese sandwiches in lieu of pb&j- lots of B vitamins. I’m going to try vegemite brownies with my daughter for her project. Apparently it’s good for marinades as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:02 PM Flag
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Please post update on the brownies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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Buttered toast and a small slice of cheddar. So good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:48 PM Flag
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Salivating [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 11:28 PM Flag
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Sour cream. Soups, pierogies, other pastas, stews, sautéed vegetables [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:20 AM Flag
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Toum on everything (middle eastern garlic spread) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:48 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:35 AM Flag
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Ajvar, which is an eggplant/pepper spread. I could it it with a spoon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:49 AM Flag
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And zakuska which is similar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:49 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:35 AM Flag
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zakuska means an appetizer in Russian [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 08:56 PM Flag
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np. But that poster is referencing a specific pepper spread similar to avjar. Every country in that part of Europe has its own variation, it even varies from village to village in the same country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:41 PM Flag
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^^The stores in Astoria and Woodside have them all, it's good to experiment. I used to eat them on buttered bread, or spread on a slice and topped with feta cheese. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:42 PM Flag
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I put a + next to everything I do too instead of repeating ORs. I also like shredded nori on almost everything. I hate sesame oil so sometimes it's difficult to find nori without that. I like sesame seeds if you find that mixed that's good too. I sprinkle red dulse on a lot of things. I use kelp dust and similar sea vegetables sparingly on cooked food and stews often to replace salt. I use smoked salt on...experiment. I experimented with tahini but it never turns out as well as restaurants so I gave up. I went through a white balsamic vinegar as salad dressing phase. Also a dijon mustard balsamic vinegar phase better with shallots and herbs mixed in. I like fresh cilantro but it is perishable and the easiest to use. I mix garlic hummus and tinned tuna together. Eat with romanic lettuce like a dip. Green chilis are yummy on lots. I went through a frank's hot sauce phase pretty sure I would have eaten anything in that then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:41 AM Flag
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If you like shredded nori, get some Furikake to sprinkle over everything - heaven! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:23 PM Flag
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+1 to furikake. It is so simple to use. I make brown rice in my rice cooker, and sprinkle some in there at the end and have with either a clean protein and/or vegetables. My Whole family loves it. Just beware of the sodium content. Use it very sparingly. A lot goes a long way. Some of the different flavors have higher sodium. Look for low sodium varieties [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:54 PM Flag
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Vintage which is a grilled pepper spread from Romania [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:54 PM Flag
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*vinate* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:55 PM Flag
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Sriracha Mayo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:56 PM Flag
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Sesame seeds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:56 PM Flag
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I have been using yogurt in place of sour cream [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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Thai peanut sauceL great for vegetable dips, rice, salads, protein. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:48 PM Flag
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Just tried Piri Piri sauce. I like it and use it where I would hot sauce [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:48 PM Flag
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Sriracha but that is nothing special these days [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Berbere spice powder in beans. Typically found in Ethiopian cooking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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Za’atar, salads, bread. African spice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:52 PM Flag
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Glazed balsamic in sandwiches or salad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:53 PM Flag
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Here is an interest read for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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[ - ] Parents of recent college grads of unimpressive colleges..how are your children faring? 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:37 PM Flag
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Not a parent, but an aunt of a grad of Arizona State. He was always very business minded, selling used phones on EBay which he purchased on Craig's list. Got his real estate license and now with a national real estate firm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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Arizona State is unimpressive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:54 PM Flag
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Yeah. ASU is unimpressive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:56 PM Flag
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Agreed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:58 PM Flag
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+2. But I like this story OR. Maybe it can help the rest of us/them chill out about college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:00 PM Flag
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Aunt above: He's doing really well. His ultimate goal is to own a number of rental properties and I believe he'll get there. OTOH, his brother with a 146 I.Q. is a professional intern since he can never find a job good enough for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:02 PM Flag
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I'm the person who said ASU isn't impressive. You can do well going there. There's nothing wrong with the university--they have some good programs--but traditionally it hasn't been tough to get into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:25 PM Flag
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np: This. Very high acceptance rate but I also know people who went there or whose kids went there and were very happy. I would be fine with my kids going there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:30 PM Flag
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I think that's it. It does have a very high acceptance rate and it is a good fit for kids who may need time to get their academics up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:02 AM Flag
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Maybe so, though the only ASU grad I've met was student at Stanford Law School, went on to a pretty prestigious career. He was surrounded by people who went to much fancier undergrads and did just fine for himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:29 AM Flag
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never underestimate a top grad from a state school. fwiw, when i hired interns, the hardest working ones had felt they had the most to prove. The Ivy interns spent more time signaling to each other about their perceived importance than showing us what they could really do. i've rarely been disappointed by a state school hire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:30 AM Flag
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Same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:04 PM Flag
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ASU has the finest Honors College of any public university in the US. My dad is top in her class, and it's her first choice. Phenomenal school and internship programs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:01 AM Flag
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Illinois State. Interested in medical school. Now an EMT and studying for the MCAT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:59 PM Flag
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U of I, occupational therapy, then masters', now owns her own practice managing several other OTs, Waiting list for her services. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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Ball State, 2nd grade teacher in an urban school. One of the happiest people I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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Love this. You did a good job parenting! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:08 AM Flag
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I’m not sure why people are answering you honestly. But your questions is super obnoxious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:28 PM Flag
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Ah, thanks for your comment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:02 AM Flag
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np here - I think she's just phrasing it honestly. Would you prefer she said "grads of non top100 colleges?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:50 AM Flag
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I am answering this obnoxious question because there are others on UB who are caught up in these top schools and causing anxiety in their kids over nonsense. Let your kid live their life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:24 AM Flag
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My child graduated an unimpressive SUNY and he is an accountant with no debt. He has his own apt and is happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:14 AM Flag
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Beautiful! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:16 AM Flag
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That's amazing! For for him! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:49 PM Flag
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U of Rochester- UB unimpressive. Dd was employed as a business analyst right out of school, sharing an apt with friends in the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:49 AM Flag
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Rochester is a great school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:34 AM Flag
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It is ranked #29 on US News & World Report's list of National Universities. I don't think that is what OP means by "unimpressive" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:42 PM Flag
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I think anyone who goes to college is impressive. Only an a-hole "ranks" people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:52 AM Flag
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I agree, you can’t rank people, but you can rank their achievements. Not everyone can be a Nobel Prize Laureate... why is it so hard to accept for some people that there are prestigious universities and high-achieving individuals? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 09:24 AM Flag
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I graduated from a top-tier university abroad. One of our brilliant graduates is a professor at ASU, could have gone anywhere including ivies but preferred to stay there because has more influence, actively engaged in establishing many institutions there, still very enthusiastic about work after 20 years. Just because of this, I believe ASU is a great university. Also I know UofRochester graduates who are now professors at other top-tier universities. Long story short, it doesn't matter where you go but matters what you do with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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I love this post. It's a good reality check for us anxious parents of pre-college kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 11:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone been to Monument Valley? Did you use a tour guide? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:43 PM Flag
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Yes. No to the tour guide. We stayed in The View. We hiked in the morning around the mittens by ourselves (they give you a map there are only one or two trails you can access) and then did the loop drive ourselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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ok - thanks! we are staying there - did you do the forest gump thing and that loop? I thought private cars could not enter the roads [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:43 PM Flag
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There is the 17 mile loop you can drive yourself. https://www.earthtrekkers.com/ultimate-guide-monument-valley/. We came in from four corners, so from the other direction. But you should do the hike (walk) if you are staying there. Best to do as soon as you wake up. It was lots of fun. We really liked staying in the hotel. Not fancy, but comfortable. And the views were amazing: day, night, sunrise, sunset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:03 AM Flag
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Wow, super helpful link! and nice post! ty! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:10 AM Flag
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OR: this is exactly our plan this summer - 1 night in the View cabins, with an early morning hike plus a drive on the 17-mile loop. Hiring a guide seemed extremely expensive and unnecessary. Plus all the reviews said that driving around in their Jeeps was a PITA because of the dust. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? Need plain yogurt for a chicken marinade and only have vanilla - just do it? Also adding curry powder, grated ginger, garlic, etc. TIA. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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yikes no way, either go out for plan or change your plan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:36 PM Flag
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^^plain [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:36 PM Flag
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yuck. no way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:37 PM Flag
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I did this once by mistake. Did not realize it was maple until time for grilling. Used lots of basting with garam masala, lemon and butter while grilling but wouldn’t do it again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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Iiiiiiiiick don't do it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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no because the vanilla flavor will be noticeable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:39 PM Flag
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thanks - thought same, but i'm a bit of a rigid cook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:43 PM Flag
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No don’t use it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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do you have any sour cream? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:19 PM Flag
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good point - I often use plain yogurt as a sour cream sub. i do have a little bit in frig, but made something else to everyone's delight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:31 AM Flag
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OMG no. Vanilla yogurt is full of sugar and flavoring. Run to the store make something else [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:38 PM Flag
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made something else and everyone said it was the best meal ever and why can't we have it more often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:30 AM Flag
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Thanks all for responses. as i mentioned, I can be rather rigid in the kitchen, not inclined to experiment or substitute w/o consulting. glad i did. Bon appetit! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:32 AM Flag
[ - ] What would you say to a grumpy FIL who has called you to discuss family gathering plans but really just wants to use you as a punching bag because he’s been riled up by his other DIL who he can’t be nasty to because she withholds the grandchildren and generally makes life miserable for everyone involved? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:20 PM Flag
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OP: I’m thinking: “I sense that this is not a great time to discuss this. Let’s talk when you’re in a better mood.” Too aggressive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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that's mild compared to what I would say. I would call him out on it. I would say "I know X upset you, but that doesn't give you the right to take your feeling out on me. your behavior is unacceptable and I won't stand for it anymore. Don't call back until you are prepared to act appropriately and treat me with the respect I deserve." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:56 PM Flag
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wtf do you have any long-term relationships with family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:51 AM Flag
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WTF exactly. Who really talks this to family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:13 AM Flag
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Who lets others treat them like a "punching bag"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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^^^ BTW, I have a GREAT relationship with both FIL and MIL. One that is built on mutual respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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What is your end game? I am always pleasant to my in-laws, even if they are being unreasonable. If you "yes" him to death, perhaps he will be disarmed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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End game is to be helpful without getting upset/hurt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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Be pleasant. Maybe it will cheer him up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:40 PM Flag
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Nothing. Ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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Can’t ignore as I’m already on the phone or in the room with him in this situation. Also I am expected to help them figure it out (the gathering, what to bring, etc). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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You "are expected" to help them? You are an adult and you decide what you're going to do for whom. If someone wants your help, they should ask for it nicely and show gratitude for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:45 PM Flag
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OP: Let me clarify. I expect this of myself because I want my dh and my dc to have a happy family life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:25 PM Flag
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Neutral responses. You cant take a side and don’t try to comfort him, because he just complain more. I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, that’s too bad. Oh, what a shame. That doesn’t involve me. Oh, not sure how to respond to that. Repeat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:42 PM Flag
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OP: Love it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:26 PM Flag
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Direct him to your DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:45 PM Flag
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+1. Do not engage!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:22 PM Flag
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I always figure that someone who needs to treat another person that way needs my compassion and pity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:33 PM Flag
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I have a lot of experience with what to are talking about. In my case, not engaging, taking the high road, being neutral and directing it to my husband did nothing. My FIL is a very weak yet spiteful guy. His daughter is very unhappy and riles him up against our family all the time. It is some kind of sport for the two. So my dd and I have been his punching bag for about 8 years. One holiday I finally blew up at a series of nasty remarks he made against me and walked out of the room. He was so disarmed and embarassed, he apologized profusely the next day. So I think somehow you need to stand up for yourself but in a way that will totally get his attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:04 PM Flag
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nasty remarks toward you? this sounds more extreme than what op is going through. And hugs, I'm glad you "blew up" (aka expressed your emotions honestly) and I hope things are much better for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:53 AM Flag
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Disengage. When he starts to spin out, shut down the conversation and get off the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:19 PM Flag
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I have this, too. I say innocuous things like, "Oh, well, what are you gonna do? So, what day is good for you to travel, Saturday or Sunday?" "That sounds annoying...But, back to the trip, should we plan dinner or just cocktails?" etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Is it just me or is The Politician really stupid and sophmoric? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:15 PM Flag
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I lasted 15 min. Really bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:19 PM Flag
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I kept watching because of the cast, hoping it would get better. It was very weird. The ending was pretty good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:21 PM Flag
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OP - thx. need something fun to watch right now but that's not it. Maybe You season 2? Love shows like the Americans and The Queen, but also Project Runway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:23 PM Flag
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The Crown. Fleabag. Succession. Victoria. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:25 PM Flag
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You will love Succession. So good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:25 PM Flag
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OP -that was my favorite show since the Americans. Loved it. I am open to book suggestions, too. Not anything gritty or g=harrowing, Just pure escape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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OR: I just watched The End of the F*ing World on Netflix- really liked that. It starts a bit weird but stick with it. For books, check out Nothing To See Here and Fleischman is in Trouble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:29 PM Flag
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OR: Also The Morning Show on Apple TV was fun (especially Billy Crudup’s character) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:31 PM Flag
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yes! I loved Morning Show [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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Sex Education on Netflix? It is a bit too explicit for me, but setting that aside, I think it is fun and good with an interesting an aesthetic, which is supports well through the music it uses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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Love Sex Education! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:56 AM Flag
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THE CIRCLE!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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I slogged through the Politician but aside from Ben Platt occasionally breaking into song found it not worthwhile. I did just start watching Schitt's Creek after seeing it mentioned her multiple times and that it more to my liking. Cringey-funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:37 PM Flag
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Barry on HBO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:50 AM Flag
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I loved it! maybe it was just me though! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:39 PM Flag
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I watched Britney Runs a Marathon and liked it. The Loudest Voice was pretty good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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I only watched because of Ben platt. Some middle episodes were bad. Started pretty good and I liked the last episode. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:48 PM Flag
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I am right at the middle now it is bad. Good to know the last episode is worth watching. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:43 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone familiar with child mind institute? Thoughts? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:56 PM Flag
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yes, it's amazing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:05 PM Flag
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really? Thank you. Can you tell me anything about your experience? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:05 PM Flag
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sure, I know a few people on the board and have read lots about them. it is VERY respected institution. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:07 PM Flag
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thank you. have you used them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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overpriced [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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do you feel as though they do a good job? Are they significantly more than others? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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I contacted them for a consultation for my DD and was quoted over $2,000 for the initial session and a few hundred dollars per session. I found a therapist for a fraction of the cost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:17 PM Flag
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if you don't need a whole Institiute, then you are better off just seeing a good psychiatrist and/or psychologist privately. Preferably someone affiliated with Cornell, Columbia, NYU. signed - psychiatrist at one of those three places (I treat adults, nit kids, but my kid sees someone privately for ADD). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:19 PM Flag
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What would you recommend for a child with possible ADHD and anxiety? Worth to got o a place like Child Mind? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:59 AM Flag
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We go there for ADHD treatment with Dr Boorady and he’s the best. Tried several other psychiatrists on UES. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:22 PM Flag
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What kind of services or evals are you looking for? I don't think they're great for a neuropsych but really great for services and therapies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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We had some good experiences there, but spent more time and liked the individual health care providers at NYU Langone Child Center better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:31 PM Flag
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did DS's neuropsych. Well done report, good next steps reporting. Overall, very professional and well done. I would use again. (and I guess I will, since school recently told us we need to update it to keep accommodations). Spin off - has anyone done this? Do you need / should you do the full testing again, or is there a subset? 1st test was in 1st grade, now in 5th. Is currently medicated and doing well. Doesn't use any of the testing accommodations required for ERB/CPT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Don’t know what to do anymore. I hate my life so much. DH, long term unemployed, kids always complaining and ungrateful that I work my butt off for them. I provide everything and still am the hated mother. I wanted to raise my own kids but had to give up this dream because of DH who refused to work. I was a few weeks postpartum he yelled at me that now it’s time for me to work and he will never work again, it’s my turn now to pay for everything (I used to work anyway, it’s not like he paid for my life). It’s so heartbreaking. I feel like my life is ruined. I want to sell my house and quit the job and just leave. The kids hate me anyway. 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:10 PM Flag
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^ I forgot to add that work is awful too, which a nightmare of a boss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:11 PM Flag
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how old are they? you dont have to stay in this marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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10 and 12. I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I wasted my time and youth on this sorry excuse for a man (he became abusive when he lost his job, only stopped when I found a decent paying job and supported the whole family). And now the kids of course think he is the saint and I am the witch because I am unhappy with his lack of contribution. They don’t get it, I don’t blame them. But I blame him for creating this horrible situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:16 PM Flag
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They will get it. Keep doing the right thing and it will all come back to you and, vice versa, to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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Are you real? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:20 PM Flag
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What is that supposed to mean? Do you think this is a fake post? I am making this up? Or are you one of the poster who think I should just deal because their own DH’s deal with it all the time? Sorry but not sure why you are asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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"are you one of the poster who think I should just deal because their own DH’s deal with it all the time" -- Because you post over and over and over, refusing to take any good advice offered or do anything to change your situation. It's either fake, or you are just a lost cause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:40 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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Your kids sound developmentally normal tweens. You sound depressed. Please go to a therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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I can’t afford the $200 per session. I am very depressed. I can’t deal with this anymore. I hate DH so much for ruining my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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Leave. Have a good career, live in a small studio with nice plants and a cozy sofa, pay child support, and never speak to him directly again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:39 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 05:03 AM Flag
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If you have health insurance look at the list of doctors on it. We found several. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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+1. You will benefit more from professional help than advice online. You sound like you are in a tough situation. Don't blame your children--try and get some help so you can feel better and you are able to make some changes so you can be happier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:17 AM Flag
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Turn all childcare and housekeeping to DH. Don't do any of it. Stay out of the house long hours. Go early to the gym or to breakfast with a friend. Throw yourself into work and building new skills. Don't get home until well past dinnertime. Pay the bills, say good morning, good night, and I love you to the kids, and let them and DH fend for themselves for a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:36 PM Flag
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I agree. If you keep doing everything, your DH will never step in. Put all those housework and kids stuff on his plate, and make sure he knows, and the kids know. If he doesn't do it, then it's on him. Not you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:40 PM Flag
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+2 Announce it at dinner, with a smile on your face and no accusations. "Work is getting more intense, but we're lucky since your father is a full time SAHP, and he can take care of all of your needs for the next few months while I put in the extra hours at work. He'll be on all laundry, cooking, and cleaning, and dealing with all of your school and EC requirements. If you need something, let him know, and he'll handle it. I'll try to set aside regular time on the weekends so we can all have dinner together or maybe go out to do something fun." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:47 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:54 PM Flag
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np. I would be reluctant to do this with a man Op describes as previously being abusive. I would just change the behaviors and expectations without an announcement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:59 PM Flag
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The kids need to know that they have to take their needs to the SAH parent - their father. He needs to know he is now accountable for parent and homemaker responsibilities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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OP. I don’t do that many chores and the result is a complete shotshow of a house. But if I follow the advice of coming back late I won’t notice it that much. I do a lot of childcare when I get home and take care of the kids all weekend. Maybe I should do my own thing on the weekends, s suggested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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You should. You should only spend fun time with DCs. All of the heavy lifting (getting ready in the morning, cooking, helping with homework, school events, teacher meetings...) should be on DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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+1 in that way kids will love spending time with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:09 AM Flag
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This! You cannot announce it, just start doing it and deliver bits of the above speech as necessary. "mom, I had no soccer jersey today" "Sorry Jimmy, work is crazy. You and dad will have ot pay attention and do the laundry as needed" All with a loving smile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 05:06 AM Flag
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You should leave as soon as you can. Your DH is as selfish as mine and it wont get any better. After 15 years of putting up with my narcissistic husband, he is now blaming me and DC for the state for our marriage, our finances and his not being able to live the life he envisioned. This and I am the breadwinner. He has more degrees and qualifications me but chooses to sit in a dead-end career while having pipe dreams of making more cash. He has fallen for every get rich scheme imaginable. GET OUT NOW! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:08 PM Flag
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Totally selfish. Who announces at the ripe old age of 40, with 2 little kids, that they are “done working” and the wife has to provide from now on? I regret the day I met this person. Always quick to bully when he needs extreme amounts of cash though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:19 PM Flag
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This. When, I became pre-diabetic at 210 pounds, committed to a weight loss plan and joined a support group. I have lost 30 pounds so far and my husband takes issue with the fact that I am not losing it for him. Selfish! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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Hoboken Mom? You need to make a change. It's a new year. Make a plan and execute it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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Sorry but, your kids did not ask to be here, so they don’t owe you any gratitude. Your decision to have them was one sided and so was your consequent commitment to support them. Would it be nice if they were grateful ? Yes indeed. But that’s unfortunately not how a one- sided commitment works. Wish it were different, sigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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Her kids are just reflecting back what sounds like a pretty grim household dynamic. OP, try to focus on the positive with your kids. Change the narrative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:59 PM Flag
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That’s the point. If they are not having happy lives, why on earth would they be grateful to the people who imposed these lives on them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 04:54 AM Flag
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Your kids don't hate you but they know you're unhappy (and you probably reflect it to them at least in some way - I say that with absolutely no judgment but they are old enough to tell). That should be your first goal. Do what you need to do to feel better about yourself. You'll notice a difference in your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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Divorce him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:31 PM Flag
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Here's what I would do: Accept that you have chosen to remain with this man for whatever reason and that you will use the fact that there is another adult in the house to develop a better relationship with your children. Let him take the lead in doing housework, managing homework. You take the lead in being the "fun parent"...take them out on weekends, learn what interests them, be the grown-up, but get to know them and who they are. Never, ever speak negatively of their father. They will grow up to be later teen and adults and they will see that the dynamic in the household is unfair to you. In the meantime, be interested and supportive of them. Also, include them in the budget. You can calmly say: Well this month I'm bringing home this, and this month I'm paying for this, this and this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:36 PM Flag
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When you say "refuses to work" - how did he exit the workforce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:32 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. Take your kids and job out of the equation. Your issue is with DH. You have a choice to leave him or not. As for the kids, teach them to be self-sufficient. (At 10 and 12 they can progress quickly in this area.) Once you've done this, your burden is lighter. Once they are self-sufficient, start giving them basic chores and possibly a small allowance to go with it. Now your burden is even lighter. As for them hating you, they are preteens and it is a tough age. Just keep loving them, let them be moody, but don't let them verbally abuse you. Try to see the sweetness and goodness that is still in there under the preteen angst. Plan 1:1 time doing things they enjoy. It will get better if you hang in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:18 AM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:22 PM Flag
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the kids may hate you now, but one day they will look back and be grateful for all you did. kids that age will rail against your boundaries etc. but later they will thank you. I'm sorry you are struggling. hugs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:19 PM Flag
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"I wanted to raise my own kids but had to give up this dream because of DH who refused to work". Wow, just imagining what would be said if a DH used the same language: "I wanted to raise my own kids but had to give up this dream because of DW who refused to work".... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:37 PM Flag
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It is also problematic because women who work ARE raising their kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:23 PM Flag
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You don’t think that men have a right to spend time with kids? That a woman should just have the right to refuse to work even if it puts a significant strain on family finances? I don’t agree with you. I don’t think any adult has the right to opt out of the workforce unilaterally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:33 PM Flag
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OR: that was my point. Notice the "wow", as in "wow, this is a shockingly entitled statement". The idea that her "dream" was to have someone else pay the bills while she did exactly what she wanted is pretty nuts. I was pointing out that in large parts of society this is a perfectly acceptable "dream" for a woman to have, but men who might express it are painted as losers or bums. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:54 PM Flag
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OP. I could take a much easier job or work part time if DH just made some money as well. I don’t need to be a SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 07:49 PM Flag
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^^ the easier or PT job would still pay decent money. But not enough if I am the sole earner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 07:51 PM Flag
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This is a troll post. This man never quits. I know you resent women, Bub. I don't know what to tell you. I hope you are in therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:48 PM Flag
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I was in a similar position - bad marriage. Long story short, I plotted for 5 YEARS a way out -- I took on more job responsibilities so I got raises, etc. Filed for divorce in May, moved out of family home in December. It's so incredibly tough but I'm already so much happier. I will owe my ex-dh child support and 2 years of alimony which is frustrating but so worth it. How much is your life worth? You have 2 choices - suck it up and stay miserable or claw your way out. And I have 3dc 8, 10, 12. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 05:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Long shot: Anyone know where I can buy casual shorts in NYC right now? Gap/Old Navy don't have them yet. Thanks! 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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Nordstrom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:11 PM Flag
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They have resort? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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Vineyard Vines [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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Thank you to both responders! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:13 PM Flag
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possibly an outdoor shop like Patagonia, REI, etc will have the outdoor brand shorts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:39 PM Flag
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Anthropolgie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:47 PM Flag
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online. shorts not out yet. unless you go to a major dept store (bloomies) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:04 PM Flag
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Tommy Bahama—store on 5th Ave and 45th St (I think). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:13 PM Flag
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This place is so crazy expensive. I work in that neighborhood and wandered in once and had total sticker shock!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:42 PM Flag
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target has big bathing suit section out, but did not look for shorts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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also costco has boys shorts, again did not look at womens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else have a million friends who do Cycle for Survival? It's a great cause and I don't want to be cheap but I have 8 different friends hitting me up for donations, some in the same circles so awkward to donate to some and not others. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:55 PM Flag
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I hate how people pretend their work-out is altruistic and guilt-sponge money off their friends to bankroll it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:58 PM Flag
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THIS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:06 PM Flag
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NP Do you prefer read a thons? DCs peddling/panhandling? We frown upon third world countries for the same behaviour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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I dislike any sort of event that supposedly raises money for a cause by bothering other people until they donate. Everyone I've ever encountered doing these events could easily donate the money themselves without dragging me in as some reluctant Magwitch, who is guilted into supporting their charity instead of one that I give a hoot about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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Don't donate to any of them. Pick a charity/cause of our choice and donate directly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:03 PM Flag
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This. Walks, runs, cycles, and other events are okay for PR, but only about 5% of the pledges get to the charity. Most of the money goes to production costs. "Thanks for supporting the charity with your cycling, but I donate directly to the charities I support." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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np - This - between organizing, street closures, city support, participant giveaways, marketing - it takes at least $200 per participant to cover - more for larger events [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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i would explain that you have 8 friends and are spreading donation accordingly. I had this a couple years and did same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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I don't think you need to explain, just do it. Meanwhile, the donation site (not the charity, but the processing center) makes bank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:18 PM Flag
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I do not have a million friends. I'm surprised anyone on this website does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:21 PM Flag
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hahahhahahha comment of the week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:42 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:53 AM Flag
[ - ] What's the ideal length of time for a meeting? Similar to the ideal meeting size is 6-8 people. What's the ideal meeting time? How do I encourage meetings to end on time? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Is this a work meeting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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Great question. I imagine the same applies to everything (whether it's work, volunteer, personal), like meeting size? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:01 PM Flag
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(If not, would appreciate tips on all) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:01 PM Flag
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Time needed depends on the agenda. You send an agenda ahead of time, with the amount of time allotted for each task. You stick to it, ensuring decisions are made and next steps are assigned to people. You end the meeting on time, whether you were successful in managing it or not. If you didn't allot enough time for one or more tasks, you schedule follow-up meetings only with the required people. You don't allow more time than allotted in the agenda. If anyone comes to the meeting unprepared, move on without them, and tell them privately after the meeting that they did not meet expectations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:56 PM Flag
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Wow, thanks for the detailed answer. Sample agenda? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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Are you kidding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:36 PM Flag
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I feel like almost every meeting could be done in 25 minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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I can actually answer this! 45 minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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^^also all meetings must have a written agenda beforehand or they don’t get attended [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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Sample agenda? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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Or: depends on the meeting but whoever is calling/scheduling the meeting needs to attach the agenda to the invite. Should state goal of the meeting if appropriate, planned talking points and perhaps a time allocation (ie; 10 minutes for topic A, 15 minutes for topic B etc). For group meetings we have a deadline by which attendees should submit agenda points to the organizer for inclusion [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:19 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:52 PM Flag
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This. There is nothing worse that going to an unprepared meeting. There needs to be an agenda sent out beforehand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:20 PM Flag
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Awesome, thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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0 mins. I have never been to a meeting that couldn't have been handled with a short memo or flyer. E.g., sales meeting where everyone goes over everything in the sales report. It's in the sales report! I can see it. I don't have to say it out loud in front of everyone while they eat donuts and ask 40 questions that are all answered IN THE REPORT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:55 PM Flag
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I feel your pains. Hopefully these tips will help meetings met needs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Former prep school teacher on again, if anyone has school questions they want to ask... 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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How can we tell that a prep school is truly preparing students above the level of a good suburban public. The prep schools are discontinuing AP exams and the exmissions list for college placement is often stated over a 4 year period. (Besides many prep school students are legacy, anyway.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:46 PM Flag
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You've nailed the issues in the question. Some of the top schools have ridiculously good placements, but many don't. If your kid is old enough to look at the upper school of a private, have them shadow a student for a day or sit in on some classes, that's the best measure. Barring that, see if you can talk to the teachers. For a great private, really you're looking for a passionate and engaging approach more than scores on the AP or SAT and college placements. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:52 PM Flag
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How do we know you are who you say you are? What is your agenda here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:58 PM Flag
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Why would I lie? I don't think I have an agenda, other than encouraging people to talk to their school's librarians (from last night's topic). Is prep school teacher an identity people often steal? If you are worried I'm lying, I'd recommend ignoring this thread. I always get weird posters on here trying to prove I'm not a teacher because of a typo or not declining a relative pronoun correctly. I don't care enough to try to prove myself to that type of person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:03 PM Flag
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Did you teach at Trinity and then move to Chicago? Where do your own kids go to school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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No, I taught at a different school in New York and moved elsewhere. I did tutor a student who went to Trinity, though, for a while. It seemed like a great school. My own kid went to PS2XX around the corner from our apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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What are your thoughts on benefits of private vs. public in NYC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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I think it really comes down to how easily you can afford it. If it is no problem to pay, it would have been impossible for us, you get some nice perks at a good private--smaller classes, teachers with more freedom to teach to their strengths and passions, etc. But there are also advantages of public schools to--not being in that private school bubble, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:36 PM Flag
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and librarians! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:19 AM Flag
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OP: I don't think anyone here will actually guess my identity, but if someone on here turns out to know who I am, I don't think I'd deny it. I'd just be a little embarrassed to be found to be on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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I asked before. Dc does really well at TT, no tutoring. Do teachers know which kids are getting tutored, papers edited, and is this ever taken into account when writing receive/grading. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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Sorry, I turned in before you posted last night. Teachers have a decent idea of who is being tutored--often because the student mentions it or often the parents asked the teacher to recommend a tutor. Or you get weird pushy tutors who email you asking for you to send your syllabi and assignment sheets to them. In NYC I was lucky enough to teach a subject where the grading seems much more objective than when I've taught subjects where essays were the primary source of marks. I think it subtly affects the grading, but in the end you are grading the work that is turned in. (Personally, my way of leveling the playing field was to make myself available to tutor my own students / help with papers, etc.) Tutoring in NYC, while lucrative for teachers (a high percentage of teachers at the top schools tutor), is often a counterproductive waste for students. A student in math class who will have a math tutoring session after school, in my experience, is more likely to zone out in class. Tutoring seems to be more of a prestige thing in the TT-school community than a truly helpful act. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:52 PM Flag
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Np- you have a really funny way of interpreting this. It seems more likely that the student who has ADD or tends to zone out in class needs a tutor for exactly that reason! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:59 PM Flag
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It is possible, but I'm thinking of students who seemed to lose focus in class after getting a tutor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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OP: There certainly are students who benefit, or would benefit, from tutoring. But I couldn't understand why so many parents were getting tutors for students who were getting an A-. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:04 AM Flag
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Dc says math is not challenging enough, but we're not doing anything to supplement because of fear that dc will get even more bored. Is this a good approach? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 12:50 AM Flag
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Thank you for answering questions. My DC is a 10th grader at boarding school. His grades are a little all over the place (like he’s getting a 96 for his winter mid term in a language class and previously got a 78 for the Fall semester but there are other examples). I really can’t do too much, but why does this happen and, while I’m sure this is not the first time this has happened, is this problematic for colleges? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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Hmmm... I'm not sure. It's odd for a student--especially in language classes--to have such grade-swings in one class. But the good news is that it seems to be going in the right direction. It might be that he's getting used to the demands of the teacher, if he is consistently better in the 2nd semester. It might be that things are starting to click. Maybe he has found a good study-partner. I'm not sure. With US colleges, I haven't done admissions, so I can't say anything with authority, but if his grades are decent, and tend to be on the upswing, it's probably not a big problem if his test scores are good. I'd just encourage him to find some subjects or extracurriculars to really throw himself into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you reach out to a guy that you have dated for a few months and all of a sudden starting this year we both stop contacting each other? I am curious as to why he stopped contacting me. Not that I am trying to get him to go out with me again but I am very curious. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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No. He's just not that into you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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Why did you stop contacting him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:53 PM Flag
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I decided to start seeing someone else since he stopped contacting me. Before I spoke with him almost daily. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:58 PM Flag
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Why are you only dating one man at a time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:16 PM Flag
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this is most likely same reason he stopped contacting you, he is seeing someone. I'd let it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:46 PM Flag
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OP: I like the guy and wants to become friends but is that a bad idea to reach out again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:00 PM Flag
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Guy here, and I'm going to be brutally honest. To recap, he stopped contacting you. That you started dating someone else and then decided to stop trying to get in touch with him for a month is kind of insignificant. He probably isn't interested in hearing from you. You can try, but I wouldn't expect anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:23 PM Flag
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Fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:42 PM Flag
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np - why is this fake? it sounds honest to me. also, from the guy's perspective, probably: he dumped you and is not interested in seeing you as a friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:05 AM Flag
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very unlikely you can be friends after dating. You can try but most likely will be disappointed and you won't get any real answers either. I know it sucks but this is dating, find some other guys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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If not into him then no, let it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 02:21 AM Flag
[ - ] I have little to no desire to have sex with my DH. I am a WOHM, with two DC and I do the bulk of housework, scheduling etc. Whenever I ask him to do something - he rarely does it or tells me how to do it. He does what he enjoys or what's easy for him - cooking for example. His lack of involvement is a real turn off. I just want to force myself to have sex so that he can be happy since this is chief complaint. Any suggestions? TIA 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:18 PM Flag
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Honestly it's what, 5 minutes at most? lol Just do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:21 PM Flag
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In the same boat. I'm not putting out. If he wants it, he can stop planning stupid fishing trips arrange for a babysitter and take me out to dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:32 PM Flag
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np: why is this so difficult for them to understand? Just a little kindness and affection goes such a long way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Thirding. Our last make out was Thanksgiving. I haven't orgasmed with him (thankful for masturbation) since May 2016. Yes UB I communicate with him, we did counselling, we read books and watched shows together -- my theory is how these men are in the other aspects of the relationship will be the same in sex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:42 PM Flag
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Same here. Dh is selfish, mean, narcissistic and childish. He’ll treat me like crap and then try and wake me up at 4am for sex where he wants me to be on top and do all the work with zero foreplay. No thank you!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:14 AM Flag
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Make a weekly chore chart for the two of you (make sure you have also assigned enough daily chores to DCs, so you are minimizing your workload). Post it in the kitchen every Friday before dinner. Each of you is responsible for half the items. If he doesn't do his share, DTMFA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:03 PM Flag
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This was me and I just talked to him about it. I told him that if I feel overwhelmed with the kids and the house and if I don't feel like he's helping me, then the last thing I'm going to feel is sexy and horny. So it wasn't so much that I was withholding sex, but just that I wasn't in the mood if my life is filled with drudgery. I told him what things he can help with around the house and I told him that he needs to make time to plan a nice date night or bring me flowers, basically things that focus on me and him and it honestly worked like a charm. He admitted that he had been lacking in the romance department and after we started putting a date night on the books every week or two, he said how much better he feels and how he wants to do more to help me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:13 PM Flag
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I tired this but it didn't work - MY DH's response was that he is giving all that makes him a man financially and gets nothing in return. His exact works. The irony is that I have always made more than him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:36 PM Flag
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Damn, sorry. He has to be able to acknowledge his part in what's been going on, or both of you will continue to suffer. Maybe counseling so that he can hear it from a neutral third party? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Sorry to hear this, but even in what is supposed to be an enlightened age many men feel this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:05 AM Flag
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Wtf my dh says this too. He also says well you wanted kids more and like hanging out with them so of course you should do the work to raise them. If i had it my they could fend for themselves! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:17 AM Flag
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Did you know he had this sexist point of view when you married him? I know people change but having that view of women seems pretty significant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 10:28 AM Flag
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What would he do? My DH will do the grocery shopping, vacuuming and take the kids on Sunday so I can catch up or chill. People are hesitant to look or feel inept, so work out what he can do and let him do those things. Also, he shouldn't be "helping" you...it is both your responsibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:04 AM Flag
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I was married to someone like that. So glad it's over. Everyday I marvel at how satisfying it is to return to a home without his presence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:17 AM Flag
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Are you on UB everyday? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 06:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend neuropsychologist for an eval in Manhattan. Don't care location just want the best. Thanks. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:06 PM Flag
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What are you evaluating for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:10 PM Flag
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not sure. behavioral issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:22 PM Flag
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If you're ultimately looking for a great report, school recommendations, help in suing DOE then PALS is your best bet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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not looking for that. just a really good evaluation to help us figure out what the underlying issues are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:19 PM Flag
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for you, a DC? for what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:28 PM Flag
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8yo DS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I wonder how many of you are still active friends with your ex, meaning still talk to your ex and go out on occasions. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 06:58 PM Flag
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I am on good/semi-good terms with all of my exes and friends on FB. We've exchanged the occasional pleasantry here and there, but haven't seen or hung out with any of them in over decade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:14 PM Flag
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ExDH or just an ex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:18 PM Flag
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just ex [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:19 PM Flag
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I'm a lesbian when it comes to my exes. I'd be friends with all of them if they'd be friends with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:31 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:34 PM Flag
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Does your ex mostly still want to be friends with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:34 PM Flag
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Surprisingly yes! The two that live in the same city as me I see every now and then. Lately only once a year since I had kids and don't have much free time anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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^^FYI these are ex boyfriends. I've only been married once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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Dunno about active friends exactly since don't live close to any, but definitely in occasional friendly contact, FB contact that sort of thing. DH, DC and I stayed with one a few years ago when we were passing through their city (both married, kids etc.) DH totally not in touch with his exes though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:00 PM Flag
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Not. I have friends, and I don't need complicated relationships with exes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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Still friends. This was a person I really cared about for quite sometime. Of course time and space are the healers but I'm also happy for where they ended up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 03:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Parents with older HS kids, do you know if Naviance takes into account course rigor? I heard a AO say that they don't compare kids from different schools due to difference sin curriculum/grading, they do compare kids within the same school. But say two students from same school has 3.8, but one with harder courses than the other, how does Naviance take that into account? Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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Our school doesn’t take into account class rigor. So two kids with different course loads could conceivably have the same gpa. BUT we were told that it rarely matters as the top students earn the top gpas even with the more challenging course load. The top 10%-15% of the grade will rise up to the challenge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 06:48 PM Flag
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I think you're asking if there is some way to look at weighted GPA which is only way the data points in Naviance could account for this. Answer is, I believe, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:04 PM Flag
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My dc's college counselor said that on his form he has to fill out course rigor so it is taking into account. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:45 PM Flag
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Naviance does not. It only be factored if your school weights averages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 09:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I get a physical copy of the SAT brochure called "Student Registration Booklet for the SAT and SAT Subject Tests"? I need the physical copy so I can use the application inside to register my young DC for the SAT (can't find that online). TIA. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 06:35 PM Flag
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Are you sure your family are SAT material? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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My DC is 12 and needs to take it in the fall. Anyone younger than 13 needs to register by mail. Are you sure you're a happy person in life? Actually, are you yourself SAT material? Doubt it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:03 PM Flag
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why does 12 yr old need SAT? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:07 PM Flag
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Many reasons. Eg certain summer camps need SAT score along with an application. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:07 PM Flag
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Sounds healthy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:51 PM Flag
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You're the one who can't do a basic web search, ask the school, or go to the library... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:49 PM Flag
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If you have nothing good to say, please just shut the f%&*$ up. Why come here to soil other people's day? Must have a pretty pathetic life. I feel sorry for you. And your family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:06 PM Flag
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I guess she struck a nerve! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:49 PM Flag
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i agree with the 1st pp in this branch of thread. simply because a parent may not be able to figure out something doesn't mean a child is the same. neither of my parents knew how to do any of this and of the three children who went to college, one was at a top 5, one went Ivy for grad, and the third was at top public. I also feel sorry for you for having such low self-esteem to need to do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:08 PM Flag
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OP: You're right. My older DC goes to a TT private. So there you go on your theory! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:12 PM Flag
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OP: she did not struck a nerve. I just have problems with people who keep posting stupid and rude replies on this board. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:13 PM Flag
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np. my guess is that any hs guidance counselor office would have the packet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:08 PM Flag
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Is the public school the only place to get it? We go to a K-8 catholic school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:13 PM Flag
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i would think a catholic high school would also have it, but you need to go to a high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 07:17 PM Flag
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Why dob't you call the College Board directly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 11:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Is early April a good time to visit Boston? Or would that still be too cold? What would be some good things to do with DCs 11 and 14? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 06:33 PM Flag
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I remember calling my mom in early April when at Harvard in grad school, "It just snowed for the 14th time. I can't take it any more." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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OP: thank you. Boston will have to wait for warmer weather then :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:14 PM Flag
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np: I agree with waiting. I live in Boston and the weather is too unreliable until mid-May! Even then there's often a chance of rain, but at least it probably won't be freezing. June and Sept/first half of October are the best months here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:43 PM Flag
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ty! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 08:49 PM Flag
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Eh, it's 5 degrees colder than nyc. Maybe snow, maybe 70 degrees. Likely in the high 50s. The Science Museum is great, really special. The Boston Tea Party boat might be interesting. It's very theatrical but cool--you get to throw the tea over the boat. There's a wonderful science festival in Cambridge in April--many locations, really great. The Boston Marathon is in April--somewhere in them noddle of the month on Patriots day. The ICA is worth seeing--the building is interesting and the waterfront is pretty. If you can get tickets to the Kusama in advance that will be fun. If they are sporty the Fenway Park tour is inexpensive and interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.20, 10:41 PM Flag
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+1 to these suggestions. Also, the Aquarium, Duck Boat tours, Arnold Arboretum for walks, Museum of Natural History...weather is a toss-up: anything from 50s to 70, rainy, wind, clear, sunny, warm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 01:48 PM Flag
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HM - perfect month for visiting. You can go see "the rude bridge that arched the flood, their flag to April's breeze unfurled..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.28.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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