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[ - ] Moms on the client service/sell side, I need to vent and of course any advice. I have a client who is a large source of business, she just called me up screaming about a bill and how it was too high because of X, Y, and Z. However, the engagement letter spells this out and is directly on point. However, she is so irrational and angry, that my company agreed to eat the costs so we could continue doing business. I smoothed things over with her, but now feel like sh*t all around. First because my troublesome client is causing us to eat expenses and two because she reamed me out. Trying to let this roll off my back and use it as impetus to diversify my client portfolio. Vent over, 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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Do exactly what you are doing - learn from it - diversify your clients. sometimes you need these unfortunate situations to guide you into making smarter business choices going forward. its not a reflection on you- but its a reminder that a certain percents of clients are a PITA, and you need to protect your company from them by having a wide base. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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Op: thank you so much, voice of reason. She really is very difficult and I would love to lose her if I could pick up some more business, so that will be my goal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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you can do it! anyone with clients deals with this. you arent alone! lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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Op thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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NP - solid advice, I had a client that was 55% of my revenue, they were very very demanding - I spent 3 years diversifying and eventually they went away and I did not care, then guess what they called us back in and we told them the conditions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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Op this would be a dream situation. I must diversify [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Our nanny always asks me to order her lunch. This is starting to become $$ and also takes time for me to do. How do I figure out a solution to this in as nice of a way as possible? Do you all buy your nanny lunch each day? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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is this something that you offered for a little bit and then stopped? I think you need to lay things things out upfront. no I do not buy nanny lunch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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Insane. No, I don’t buy her lunch everyday and I certinaly don’t order it! I would just politely ask her to do it bc you are busy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Thx. I just did this. Hope she’s not mad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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Why are you so worried about the nanny being mad at you? Is having a nanny very new for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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Y [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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OR. She’s worried bc this person takes care of her children! She’s not a regular employee. But still, OP, I think you are 100% right to tell her you can’t order her lunch. I do, however, tell my nanny she is welcome to eat whatever she wants in our house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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No, we didn't. If I was meeting her & db at the doctors for a checkup I would treat to coffee,etc or if I was working from home I would maybe order in something like a pizza for everyone. Why don't you clear out some space in your fridge and pantry and let her know those are her shelves so she can bring food/leave it there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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This. We have space in our fridge and nanny brings her own lunch, same with a drawer we dedicated for her personal belongings, change of clothes, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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This seems so odd..what do your DCs eat for lunch? Wouldn't nanny just eat with them, or eat what you have around? You certainly should not spend time on it, and as well probably should not send money on it. At best, give her a lunch allowance and let her order her own lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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Order like take out? No. She can make lunch out of what’s in the fridge. I do try to keep certain things I know she likes in stock, but she doesn’t demand that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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Does your employer provide you lunch, do you have a personal assistant going to fetch it for you? No! Why are you even exercising this trend, you did it once as a favor, but ultimately she is the employee and is going to a place of work, so should pack her own lunch or have her lunch money and buy it herself, unless you are super anal and don't allow her outside with a baby knowing she will be going to a deli to get a sandwich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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No not anal at all! I got in the habit of ordering it for her whenever she wanted it so this is all my fault, but I need to put an end to it. It’s adding up and ridiculous at this point. I just don’t want her to think I’m upset with her or something g [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:05 PM Flag
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It's a little different bc Nanny can't exactly leave for a lunch break. She's working the whole time. However, no reason she needs a catered lunch. Having some cold cuts available in the fridge is perfectly fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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She can leave for a lunch break with a baby in the stroller, babies and toddlers nap or generally don't care where they are taken in the stroller. It's just the whole situation with OP actually being home and buying lunch for her nanny is not a common scenario. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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Why don't you ask her what items you can pick up from the grocery store for her to have food at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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Do you not have any food in the fridge? Why not respond "Actually, we have lasagna in the fridge - help yourself!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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No, what are you a pushover? Just say--going forward I'd like you to bring your food. No one pays for their nanny's lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Many people provide food in the fridge every day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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Ok, if you care to. But I don't see why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Again, because she can’t leave and doesn’t get a break for lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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So then you decided to do this. If you don't doesn't make you a bad person. Nanny's don't get breaks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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There's clearly more to this than what you've written here. You're framing it to sound pushy and entitled, when I imagine there's a very reasonable backstory. Why be dishonest in that way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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Lol. You are WAY overthinking me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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Why not just answer the OP's question instead of casting aspersions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Retired nanny here, I was never offered lunch (to be ordered or bought) by any of the families I worked for unless we were traveling, I always brought my own lunch; you are doing yourself such a huge disservice because now you sound totally intimidated by your nanny, have a frank conversation with her and set down rules, unless lunch was included in her contract, if that is the case have her order it!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:48 PM Flag
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sandwich is good enough for me, it's good enough for nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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ordering in lunch at home, on the regular, is bonkers. you can keep lunch food in your house. i order in dinner after a long day, but you cant manage a sandwich ? . Leave menus for her or let her eat your coldcuts. tell her you are trying to save $ and wont be odering in as much, but shes free to eat whats in the house or store her own food there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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Op here. Had the talk. I told her that when she goes grocery shopping for the kids, she should also get things for herself to eat throughout the week. She was fine with it. NBD. Lesson learned though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone gotten back together with xdh? We divorced due to alcoholism. He finally hit rock bottom and is now sober. Just curious if anyone has btdt? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:51 PM Flag
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No, not personally in that situation, but I would warn anyone to make sure an alcoholic is sober for several years before getting involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone ever (inadvertently or otherwise) just lost it at a manager after a long time holding it in/ together? how did it work out? I am afraid this is about to happen to me. I am like michael douglas in falling down. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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I came close last week with a co-worker. I almost told her to f**k off, but I didn't. She goads people into fighting with her. Glad I didn't take her bait. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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I have come close. What helps me is to sing in my head (not out loud) "Take me out to the ball game". It diffuses any kind of emotion bubbling up inside me. I use it at funerals, weddings, potential confrontations at work.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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Love this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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Actually I remember doing something like this early in my career. I'm ultra sensitive, and we had this ultra-condescending douche of a boss. I hated his guts so bad that I started to realize it was poisoning me on the inside. I came up with a trick. Every time he said something condescending, I would smile and say "no problem" while saying "f you" in my mind. After a while honest to God I stopped caring about him. By this point the rest of the office had caught onto him and was gossiping, but even there, I would peace out of the convo, not wanting to fell the negative energy. Lo and behold, later on this guy actually threw me a great job referral. So it goes to show you can make Jedi mind tricks work for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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I did. I got fired for it, but they were worried about being sued over the things I lost it over, so they paid a month's severance. It worked out really well, in my opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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I have lost it ... and they hang up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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But I think that is what you should do. Hang up and call back to get another person. You can't win on the merits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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I kind of did and then quit. My manager was going on and on how she treated me like family etc. I didn't care She treated me like garbage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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i want to tell my boss all the things that are wrong so badly. SO BADLY. and i am planning to leave. but i think i still wont do it on purpose bc of professionalism blah blah and i know he doesn't really care to know. but i soooo want to rant a 15 minute long list at him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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Yes. I screamed FUCK YOU! at the top of my lungs to my manager. She said "YOU'RE FIRED". Then when the store got busy, she hired me back and we both acted like nothing had happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Should I have a second child? Is it cruel to have an only? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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How should we know? Do you want a second child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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If you have to ask, no, you shouldn't have more children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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Troll looking to provoke parents with only children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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hi troll. happy only child here, it is not cruel. good lord. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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Only children are more likely to be successful. Siblings are usually a wonderful thing but in a surprising number of cases, are not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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All the "only children" I know are terrific and v happy. Also true for the parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:10 PM Flag
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Collapsed for stupidity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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My 2 are now grown and very close. They get together independent of me and seem to enjoy each other's company. When my dd had a break up she called my son a lot to gripe about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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Yes so cruel. Have one quickly before you are reported to CPS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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-Signed parent of an only living underground [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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Yes. My dh keeps complaining how he wishes he had a sibling b/c he was the one that dealt with both his parents deaths in the past 5 years and having to spend time with them every week, getting all the aides lined up, their banking and bills etc. Not saying having a second means you def have shared help but there is someone potentially there. My kids have a ball with one another and conspire against me (which is cute). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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im an only and it would be nice to share this responsibility, but its not always simple. Siblings move away, some are more financially stable. it can create a lot of resentment and issues when one sibling handles most of this, which is how it usually goes. Even my MIL, who was divorced, lived with her mother and took care of her. When her mother went into a home, there was resentment that she kept living in their home because she only paid for part of it. And the siblings had issues over how much they should all pay for care. More people to argue with! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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Only if you want to have a second child. Happy parent = happy kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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Cruel? No. But I had a second b/c I realized my first was doted on so much and got a heap of attention and all that was making him self centered. Once we had a second, my time was split and he learned how to be more independent. It of course was our situation--some onlies might be very independent but it was very good for him to have the dynamic that not everything revolved around him. He also enjoyed sharing fun events with a sibling. Trips meant he had someone to play with on the beach, in the pool etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:59 PM Flag
[ - ] What should I look for in a pierre de terre, second home? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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If you’re going to have a pied a terre, first step is to learn to spell it correctly. Not trying to be snarky, you just remind me of a mom who was trying to show off to me by telling me they summered in PROVANCE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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So much this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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Tres nouveau riche. Tragique... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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Rich est toujours riche [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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Tout le monde peut avoir des fonds. Avoir du goût et du raffinement nécessite du temps, de l'éducation et du pedigree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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Utiliser Google Translate ne vous en fait pas. Et est le spam sur ce site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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If nothing else, it is at least useful for getting accent marks and circumflexes on a QWERTY keyboard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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op - pied-à-terre, not exactly sure what happened, but didn't mean any typo to offend, and I'm sure you didn't either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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We know what happened. Nice try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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op - We? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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We have multiple properties, we always look for space, lifestyle we like, character in the house, amenities, convenience to where we like to go etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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op - thank you. Do you own any properties that are managed? ie Four Seasons, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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For a pied a terre, I wouldn't think about space so much. It's supposed to just be somewhere to lay your head down at night during a jaunt into the city. Location would be most important, and low carrying costs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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A pied a terre is a small apartment in a city, often basement level. Is that what you want in a second home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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Never heard it's often basement level. Is that true? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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Np. I wouldn’t think so- it’s a small, second home for people that want to visit that particular spot often. Usually pretty well-to-do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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I've never heard this. Could be, sure, but wouldn't say that's common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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Maybe it's the "a terre" phraseology that makes me think that, and/or the idea that these apartments are traditionally inexpensive, and so are modest, walk-in units. I realize that may an associative inference for me, maybe not rooted in practice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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It's usually an urban apartment in a walkable, fun area, that isn't necessarily suitable for long term living, but more for temporary stays. Size and luxury varies from very modest studios to sprawling apartments for the rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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op - thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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I'd rather have Pierre au lit, but to each their own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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Stone in bed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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"Rock," or proper name "Pierre" :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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Pierre in bed. Stonework on a building = Pierre de taille. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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lol :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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pied-à-terre [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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Depends on what YOU like. I'd want a grilling space, more outdoor space (terrace or backyard). Pool available etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:00 PM Flag
[ - ] I went to a former coworker's funeral and met her adult children. I immediately regretted stating to one of her daughter's (seeing the hurt on her face) that I didn't know there were two daughters because I only heard about the other. Stupid, stupid thing for me to say but I was honestly surprised because she only spoke of the one daughter. However, what could be so horrible that my coworker would never mention a child? The daughter seemed perfectly normal and even had a child (coworker grandchild I also knew nothing about). 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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So now you want to compound your mistake through gossip and speculation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Not IRL. Only here on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Irrelevant. You're a gossip. Collapsed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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I was that child at my dad's funeral. He had a new family with a woman he cheated on my mom with and moved to a new city. Nobody knew me and my other sister existed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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I am sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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Don't take this on. Obviously there's stuff going on there, you didn't cause the look of hurt. The rest of it isn't worth speculating about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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This is a good way of looking at it. Daughter obviously knows what her relationship with her mom was or wasn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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did you post this before? I swear I have read this here before, so you may not be the only person this has happened to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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First time posting. It makes me even more sad that this is not completely unheard of, including the above poster who was the never mentioned child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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My fil recently passed. Bil married a single mom. The questions and side eye my sil and niece got at the funeral, made me realize that my mil never acknowledged the existence of my niece to many of her friends. Bil adopted his wife’s kid from her previous marriage. So mil never the acknowledged the existence of one of her grandchildren to many people in her life. Some people suck, and she is one of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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ugh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Many people don’t consider ste and adoptees as real grandchildren. My MIL specifically excluded them from inheriting (not that she had any — it was just a what if). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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STEPS that is, not ste [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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i felt ill after reading this. how could you even wonder about this, you petty heartless witch. That poor daughter. Already in pain and she will never forget your comment. so awful. you went to a funeral and caused more pain. Then you actually ponder what negative qualities might exist in the grieving child. You are sick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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That is really something you could have controlled. That is so not cool and I would have tried to cover it up or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know best way to find out about renting a flat in London for six months? Approx cost for nice flat 1 BR? Who to contact? Sites to look on? What are some good neighborhoods? TIA! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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gumtree? may not be able to use it outside of UK though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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There are a couple of realtors from London that are always on House Hunters International. Look up the show online and find out their companies/contact info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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In London they are called "estate agents" - just google it along with your preferred neighborhood. UB-approved London nabes include Belgravia, Knightsbridge, South Kensington, Chelsea, anywhere owned by the Grosvenor Estate, parts of Westminster, and St John's Wood if you prefer a suburban feeling. Estate agents disclose their fees on their websites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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thank you! any specific agents you recommend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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They are all just as crooked as in NYC. Foxton's is often considered the most expensive, if that is any indication. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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Also Savill's, Chesterton's, and Knight Frank are big. Harrod's even has their own agency. And I forgot Mayfair on the list of UB-approved nabes, though since the Grosvenors own most of it, it's kind of covered already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:31 PM Flag
[ - ] 12yo ds has been obsessively listening to Harry Potter audiobooks for three years now. He just listens to them over and over again. He listens every chance he gets - while eating, while getting ready in the morning, while relaxing after school, while falling asleep. Should I be concerned? Is this a sign of an emotional problem? He gets pretty bummed if he isn’t allowed to listen. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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Does he talk about them? Is he obsessed with the stories? Probably totally fine, though I wouldn't allow it at mealtimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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He doesn’t talk about it that much but he loves his HP sheets and art and loves to get on pottermore and do their quizzes and wants to go back to potter world at universal. So yeah, you’d think he was getting a bit old for this. He’s almost 13. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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There are plenty of adults who are into HP, I wouldn't think he was too old for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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My 12 year old and all of her friends are obsessed with harry Potter. It is a Middle School book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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It's odd, but better than being obsessed with Fortnite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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My kids spend a lot of time rereading HP and Rick Riordan books. They also watch videos of people playing minecraft like so many other kids. If your kid weren't doing this, he wold be watching you tube all the time. It is just the age. Not a sign of an emotional problem, just how kids are entertained now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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My daughter is obsessed with Naruto. It's a Japanese animé show she watches online. Apparently there are like 700+ episodes of this show. She's going to be an adult before she finishes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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OP: OMG this made me laugh. Maybe I’ll show this to ds and it will be his new obsession. Sounds like it would be up his alley! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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np. we were on vacation in wyoming and my then 12 year old DD described the whole first episode of Fairy Tale (another Japanese anime) in detail to the hiking guide and was about to start on another then I distracted her. obviously, this is why I take her on fairly active vacations . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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She got hooked on it by her older brother who I think started watching it about the same time. I was so touched to see them finally have something in common that they discuss all the time by iMessage, but man, I'm surprised she isn't actually picking up Japanese at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Oh in case I wasn't clear I mean my son started watching it around age 12. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Naruto is first a graphic novel series. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.23.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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Does he listen to avoid social situations or to avoid interactions? Does he hang out with friends? If it isn't impacting him negatively, I would let it go. My DD has been obsessed with things on and off over the years to the same extreme level. I wouldn't worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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I think he listens to self-soothe. He’s fine but doesn’t have a ton of friends he hangs out with outside of school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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I wouldn't worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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Has he gone through different stages of obsessions (Pokémon, dinosaurs, etc)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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Yes! All started with Thomas the tank engine and went from there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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np. oh man, this is going to be my child in about 7 years. Obsessed with Thomas and subways, has encyclopedic knowledge of both. I think he has the personality to have obsessive interests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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I would look at it as a passion rather than an obsession. If he is passionate about this, you know he could be passionate about other things in life going forward. Career. Hobbies. Family. That's a good thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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Please take him to universal if have not gone yet. Will love the Harry Potter section. Maybe seeing it will help him live than outgrow it? Or, some just love it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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My 11 yo is equally obsessed with soccer parody videos on YouTube :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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Sounds like it having the effect that Disney has on some people - puts you in a happy fantasy place and you feel a bit sad when you leave. He is enjoying the way he feels when he's in that world in his head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:05 PM Flag
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Has he hit all normal development milestones? At 12 I would be a little concerned with maturity. But, he sounds like a sweet kid and hey - I love HP too. But the nonstop listening would concern me as it sounds like an OCD habit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Harry potter is a Middle school book series. Why would that be immature. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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It’s the obsession that makes it immature and worrisome. Listening to something nonstop appears to be a compulsion or a sign that he isn’t willing to be in the real world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.23.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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Seems a little off. Does he have friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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My daughter read the entire series over and over for years. It's fine. Eventually they move beyond it. I did the same thing with a different series when I was a kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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my DD, who is now 15 but was never really into imaginative play, latched onto "HP" and "Percy Jackson" and read them over and over from 10ish to nearly 13ish. Think she found them hopeful and soothing as she lost herself in the stories (can see with HP, but never with Percy Jackson). Jackson shade aside, they brought her a lot of comfort during a very difficult time and grateful to both Riordan and Rowling for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:27 PM Flag
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My dd and all of her friends love both series. They are all really into theater and are quirky and eccentric. Better than make-up, clothes and boys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 11:06 PM Flag
[ - ] 2 horrible Movies I watched this weekend : Home Again & Second Act. bad bad bad bad ! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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LOL so much trash out there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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Both these movies are barely scaled up Hallmark channel projects that just happened to attract some talent. I had no interest in watching them. Jennifer Lopez gets on my nerves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:29 PM Flag
[ - ] How is Big Little Lies ? seems just like Desperate Housewives ...what else would you compare it to ... 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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It's not remotely like that. Closer to The Affair, or Killing Eve, or things like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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I didn't like The Affair and have never seen KE, but did like BLL. It's light, entertaining and not a big time suck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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Uh, I wouldn't call it light -- did you actually watch to the end? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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Yes I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Fun! Loved the Monterey setting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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Same, and total house porn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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It is really really good! dont know what I would compare to though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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It's got a Gone Girl vibe for me. Also, Sharp Objects, that's another one that's close. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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Sharp Objects is so dark and depressing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Yeah. I did not come out of Sharp Objects being either entertained or feeling any sense of justice. It was just dark and troubling with an ending that just leaves you disturbed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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GREAT! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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its freaking great. its better than a network tv show. Its nicole kidman & reese witherspoon! great dialogue, gorgeous location, solid story. Laura Dern is amazing. Dude- nobody disliked this show! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Even DH got sucked into it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:48 PM Flag
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I could barely get through the first episode and it did remind me of Desperate Housewives. Or maybe UB come to life. Something about it depressed me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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We does second season start? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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early june. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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i know this because they were giving 3 months of HBO away free, and it expires RIGHT BEFORE the second season starts. arrgh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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It's nothing at all like Desperate Housewives. Desperate Housewives was cheesy and hokey. Big Little Lies is not -- it's like a good movie that they happened to make into a TV show instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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this. sooooo good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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I liked it, but it was very predictable, I figured it out early enough, so it wasn't much of a mystery, but execution was still great and cinematic, fun to watch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:04 PM Flag
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+1, it was quite clear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone living in The Phoenix apartment building on East 65th ...just wondered how it is, clean etc. thinking of buying in there... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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yes! so random . the rooms are big. good location [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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which layout? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Recently read an article about the little-recognized "social narcissist," i.e. someone who makes a big show about being giving, a do-gooder, must hold big roles as a volunteer, insists is morally better but can be quite unfeeling to those close to them, bc it is all about inhabiting this public do-gooder role. You know, like the over the top virtue signaler on FB who does "such important work" but is a total bitch to those that threaten this identity and/or justifies amoral behavior in the name of said virtue signaling. Discuss. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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We would need link so we can read the article. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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I think all narcissists only give to get so this would make sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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wow that is the most concise expression of narcissism I have every seen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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Link please! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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All of that spun differently could be viewed as being a leader, role model and/or vocal advocate for a cause, and the source of your and the author’s distaste as defensiveness and/or disagreement with said cause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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Ugh, posts that end with "discuss" are obnoxious. Op is commanding us to discuss her topic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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OP: You can join or now, IDC, but it was an invitation not a command. Feel free not to participate but please don't chime in just to be nasty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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^or not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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love your post, yet you could have included "please" before "discuss." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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Sounds like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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I’m familiar with the term covert narcissist because it describes my mom. Sounds similar to your social narcissist. Appears to be ever so thoughtful mother and grandmother. Telling people how much she does for us because she means well but at the same time criticizing her kids. I offered to babysit the grandkids, but Karen said she didn’t need me Friday night. I mean, why won’t she let me enjoy the grandkids. The grandkids always eat better, behave better and sleep better when I watch them. She’s competitive with me and my sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Any athletic moms on? I am 48, slightly overweight but very physically active and strong. I've been toying with running a marathon, since I really like group fitness events, and I'm happiest when I have a tangible goal to work toward. I can't decide if I'm just considering this for my ego. I have run half marathons before. But I know a marathon is a completely different animal. Has anyone ever trained for one and regretted it? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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If you are worried that it's just for your ego, don't tell anyone but your training group that you are doing it, before, during, or after. You won't get the attention, so you'll know it's not for ego. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:48 PM Flag
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Lol My DH did this. Only me and my kids knew [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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Being overweight increases the risk of injury in long distance running. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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I have run a couple on insufficient training. Don’t recommend lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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I trained for a marathon as my first real road race. It was a bit killer. Very big time commitment, and that was pre kids. I’m glad I did it, but I don’t need to do it again. Since, I’ve done about 10 half marathons. I like that distance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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My cousin's grown daughter has a full-time job, coaches, has two kids and a DH. My cousin is basically raising the grandchildren, and isn't complaining... but the daughter is constantly training for/competing in marathons. The photos I see on FB always show her looking triumphant at the finish-line, while her DH looks tired, chubby and isn't smiling. Yeah I'm being judge-y, but it just seems like the hard-core runners I know have such an easy time putting themselves first for their running goals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:50 PM Flag
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Runner mom here who got back into running at 52 and ran my first marathon in 2016 -- you can do it! It's a terrific goal. Ease into it. Runners World has a lot of good tips. First, get good shoes (Jack Rabbit has great selection and advice). I only regretted that I didn't stick to my training plan better (my overall mileage wasn't where it should have been). I liked the second time I ran it better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay, here's one. My 6 yo DS is OBSESSED with superheroes. His helmet, legos, etc are all superheroes, he asks for Little Golden books about these characters, etc. Normal enough. But recently I saw one of the Avengers movies (which he's never been allowed to watch) and it's crazy dark and scary -- why then are they marketing these characters to kids? Or, if you've been through this, how do you keep your kids to the G-rated stuff and not constantly begging to see things that will traumatize them? I know I'm the parent and decide what he sees, I just wish he was obsessed with something that was actually aimed at his age group 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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by 6 they can handle some of the dark and scary stuff. look at road dahl books for children, they are dark AF. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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yes, but a roahld dahl book is not watching live action explicit violence. seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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Marketing the characters, merchandise, comics, cartoons, and clothes to kids is not the same as letting them watch the movies. The movies have ratings for a reason, and the characters have been around a lot longer than the movies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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A dark, scary, loud movie is very different than a book. The Avengers film from 2012 is rated for 13 up by Commonsense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/the-avengers. OP, maybe try some of these: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/best-superhero-movies-for-kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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op - Thanks for this link! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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Monster comedy films that may appeal to younger kids are Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein or Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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i know its hard, but every kid has seen something that they thought was "too scary". when my 7 year old asks about an inappropriate movie (that looks like a kids movie), i just explain that it has scary parts, and doesnt want to watch it. you dont need to explain "inappropriate", just say too scary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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op - I guess I'm more mad at the marketing. Like obviously these movies are aimed at adults, highest opening weekends ever, etc -- but do we need to put them on lunch boxes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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ignore it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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just buy the stuff if he likes it, but you are right to avoid the movies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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i wouldnt feed the interest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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I explain to DS (who is also 6 and sounds just like your DS) that those movies are for adults and when he is older he can see them. It hasn't been an issue yet. Also LEGO has versions of many of the stories on Netflix which keeps him happy for now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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Ds age 5 has seen all of them. It’s been no big deal. He is not a rough kid and is not scared by them. But we also know a 12 yr old girl who is too scared to watch them. Varies by kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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Let him watch the cartoon tv shows and movies about superheroes. You can find them on DVD and probably on netflix/amazon etc. I still have a letter that I wrote to the Superfriends when I was 4. My mother saved it all these years. It was a cartoon and my favorite show! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Like this: https://www.amazon.com/Superman-Animated-Comics-Classic-Collection/dp/B0002ZMHX6/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=animated+superman&qid=1555962847&s=gateway&sr=8-5 I read the reviews and they say that the Batman animated series like this is pretty dark, so maybe wait on that. Superman is not dark and after these there is another series I think called Justice League animated series that is for AFTER Superman and Batman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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not because it is dark, but the storyline is set after the first Batman and Superman series. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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Ds has seen all the avenger movies since about age 3 or 4 and several times. He is currently age 5 and we have tickets for the new one coming out next weekend. He has an older brother He has also seen all the Harry Potter. Also asked to go back to universal studio this summer to go on Harry Potter and speiderman ride again. He does not seem bothered by the movies. We talk that it’s pretend play Something light, maybe captain underpants? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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I know you can't control what he sees outside the house, but at home, you have full control over every single medium. If you don't want him seeing the commercials or the movies, just curate his content. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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It's probably just that it's an exciting escape but not too exciting because he's familiar with it. I did the same thing growing up with the audio version of the Hobbit. The narrator's voice was super cool and dramatic, and I listened to it well over 30 times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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Okay so here's the deal - the Avengers movies aren't for your kid. They aren't. They are for the kids who grew up loving superheros, but who are now 13 through 40 (or older, whatever). Keep your kid into the age appropriate stuff, and as he gets older you can watch the movies together - god knows, there are plenty of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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I don't sweat that stuff. we took dd from 5 on to see anything we felt like. she saw Avatar at that age and loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.23.19, 12:10 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone have insights on living in stamford? Seems like a lot of houses in our price range, good schools and a good commute - but maybe super boring? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Good schools?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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Thought the same thing...at best it's a mixed bag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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I lived there for a number of years, prior to having DC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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what is it like? did you like it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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I enjoyed it. Decent commute into the city. Very diverse in terms of socioeconomics. Stamford is big enough that it's urban, but still feels small, if that makes sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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Stamford is basically the Garden City (Long Island) of CT. Or say Fort Lee of NJ. Commuter town. Nothing offensive, just nothing to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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You would be close to the annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. Maybe see Will Shortz in person! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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Move to Pleasantville and see him in person all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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But I also might run into my worst boss ever, who lives there. Not worth the risk. Sorry, Will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 11:04 PM Flag
[ - ] MS 51 Brooklyn - do you have information to share on how IEP students and ICT classes are managed at this school. Inside Schools showing very low test scores for IEP (10%) vs Gen Ed (over 80%). 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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Are you the one with a offer for 51? Just contact the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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well, kids with IEP's don't do well on that stupid test apparently, but so what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.23.19, 12:12 AM Flag
[ - ] Home sick and very bored. AMA. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:06 PM Flag
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What TV series do you recommend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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Started watching Legacies this weekend. It is cute. Then went to the series before it, The Originals and that is really good too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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What have you already watched this AM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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Are you pretending to 'work from home' or actually taking a sick day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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OP here: Real sick day. Watched nothing in the morning. Just watched last two episodes of Billions. The only series I watch are Homeland and Billions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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Did you post below? Thank you! I just realized that I stopped at the end of season 2 and there are two more seasons that I haven't watched yet. I just finished last night's GoT so thank you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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Billions I mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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OP: Yes I posted below. I have never seen GOT. Worth it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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There is a reason for the hype. It's Lord of the Rings quality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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NP: Only you can determine if it's "worth it." It's highly entertaining to me, so worth it for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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Big Little Lies. Terrific. 6or 7 episodes I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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where are you from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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NYC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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np same! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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I'll be happy to come over and enforce fluids and bed rest. You supply the soup. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 10:26 PM Flag
[ - ] I am not really a "productive" or "industrious" person -- prob comes from the fact that I grew up in a family with some inherited wealth (not a lot) and we just never had that pressing need to go out there and hustle for money. I get things done, for sure, and lead a functional life.. but there's a lot of reading, conversation, "meaning of life/purpose" focus, etc... should I feel guilty for the rest of my life for this fact? should I make peace with how I am or constantly struggle/strive to change this about myself? I feel like society wants me to feel guilty/do something about it.. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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well how are you currently supporting yourself? if you've still got the resources you can still afford to live this way. keep in mind though that people like you tend to lose their money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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op. yes, this worries me. I feel like I NEED to go out and be industrious, change how I live and become more ambitious/hustle.. just keep procrastinating on it... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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well what are you living off of now? how much do you have in assets and can you afford not to work and/or coast? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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I think drive is innate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:07 PM Flag
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You don't need to make money if you don't need any obviously, but if you can't point to some way you're contributing to society, somehow, then yes I feel there should be some guilt. What do you care about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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I don’t think there should be guilt. She doesn’t owe anyone anything. As long as she doesn’t hurt others, that’s more than most can say of themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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I guess I mean in the larger sense, like what are you doing with the life you're lucky to have? As long as it's something -- maybe she's a voracious reader so supports authors by buying books for example, and learns about the world -- but something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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That would be good for her and would make her feel better, without a doubt. But I don’t think she owes society unless her inherited wealth is from some activity that hurt society in the past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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op. I do this and "support" local business by shopping from them vs amazon, I pay employees really good salaries, I support many causes, give generously every time it is asked for at school, I am super generous with money and see the value in paying people well. but that's about it. dh thinks I'm careless and can only afford to do it bc i don't earn the money myself. but I love paying people well and spending on their stuff to support them. I never buy designer stuff, though - spend very little on myself apart from some self-care stuff... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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You sound like a nice person. I wouldn’t change what you are doing but I would try to find something that motivates you - a hobby, a cause, a career. It will make you feel better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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I'm trying.. but this is where the guilt comes in. I guess I'm saying "society" but it's really dh that scorns the fact that I have the luxury to search for a hobby, cause, etc that motivates me.. it disgusts him, I think, that I don't have that "need/industrious" mentality... and there's a part of me deep down that wonders if he might be right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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he is correct. most people don't wait for inspiration to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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Ok so I should feel guilty and immediately work to “correct”my personality then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:49 PM Flag
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you don't have to feel guilty but you do have to realize that you are in a privileged situation that has made you weak and lazy. you don't have to correct this if you are sure it will last forever but it would be wise to realize that people like you often have reversals of fortune and are also marks for con men and exploitive personalities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 09:00 PM Flag
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You (and everybody else) need to live your life to the best of your abilities and disregard what you think society dictates. I live in a city which is completely antithetical to my philosophy in life and I sometimes struggle with this. But I try not to get influenced by what that subset of society thinks is acceptable or laudable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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How can a city be antithetical to a philosophy? Genuinely asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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It’s extremely materialistic, full of one upmanship, anti-intellectual, no self reflection, and garish. Not in NY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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LA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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Miami [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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NYC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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It has to come from within. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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and yet needing food and shelter are motivating for most people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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I didn't say it wasn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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op. what about 'inspiration' being a motivator, not 'desperation'....? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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Of course that counts. What are you compelled to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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she isn't compelled to do anything that is the point. she has no need and also no motivation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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The fact that you took the OR’s comment as desperation is pretty telling. For most people it’s just ...reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Op. Didn’t mean to, literally.. I was basically referring to the old adage: “the greatest motivators in life are inspiration and desperation..” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:50 PM Flag
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when you find something that moves you it will make you want to be productive. it's a shame not to look for that thing. it's an amazing feeling and one that is not easily replicated by sort of 'meaning of life' unless you are seeking to advance humanity's understanding of that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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Hi op. I really relate. I’m the same. I feel like it comes down to this: My life is very simple/minimal and I’m Just not drawn to making it more complicated in any respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 08:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on see last nights Billions episode? SPOILER ALERT 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 05:58 PM Flag
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I'm confused. I thought Wendy was genuinely touched that Taylor reached out to comfort her. They even met up. Then at the end it looks like Wendy is giving Axe intel on how to ruin Taylor and her father? What's up with that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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power grab by Wendy since she was humiliated by Chuck's revelation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:02 PM Flag
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But why screw Taylor. How would that impact Chuck? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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Wendy is an Axe loyalist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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wouldn't really, but gives her a sense of power and accomplishment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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That is so mean. It isn't fitting with the two characters. Taylor showed vulnerability and Wendy wouldn't exploit that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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Wendy is a sadist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.23.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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