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[ - ] If you are 100 percent sure another mom bad-mouths you would you let your child spend time at this moms house? Your child and the mom's child are best friends. You and the mom rarely speak but no hard feelings between you two. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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^the kids are girls, age 13. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Good grief [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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How do you get yourself into this situation? Sounds like when I was 13. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:51 PM Flag
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I'd rise above it and not get involved in harming a child's friendship just because their mom is a twat. Model good behavior, the better you are the worse she'll look for badmouthing you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:56 PM Flag
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My SIL constantly tells my kids that I should feed them healthier food, so I guess yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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Minimize [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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I have a 13 yr old DD and I couldn't care less what any of her friend's parents thought or said about me, as long as she wasn't talking directly to my child about me. I also wouldn't stop DD from hanging out with her friend because that would have nothing to do with their friendship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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13 year olds can pick their own friends. It has nothing to do with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone watch CBS news at 7 Tonight? The ending segment about the teacher adopting his sick student made me cry. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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I saw it. It was touching, but a little weird that a teacher would adopt a student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Maybe, but it was to save his life! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Feeling like I failed as a mom today. 15 year old dd was giving me serious attitude literally yelling at me while on FaceTime with a friend over stupidity. I told her to hang up, and then said you really are a rotten child. I’ve never said something like that before and she truly is a great kid but lately quite full of attitude . I feel awful that I said that and I apologized, but still feel like I screwed up badly. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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Don’t feel too bad. Sounds like she was being really rude and disrespectful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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np I was horrible as a teen, and my parents reacted very emotionally. I don't want to be that way, so DH and I got out in front of it during all of the body/sex/growing up talks - it's normal to go through emotional and attitude changes, to feel lots of negative feelings, to want privacy and freedom, and DCs are allowed to have their feelings, BUT they have to learn to temper their feelings with respect for the family. They can call their own time-outs anytime they start to feel angry or stifled or frustrated, and be alone in their rooms, as long as they do it BEFORE they are disrespectful or hurt someone else's feelings. And they have to be at dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:09 AM Flag
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I walk away, just exit the room. The mean things my mom said to me in my lifetime still stay with me and I don’t want to do that to my kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Thanks for adding to my guilt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Eh, you’re fine. Sounds like it was a one time thing for you. For me, my mom saying mean things is and was a pattern of behavior. My dd is 16 so I get it. These years are rough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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Don't be too hard on yourself. Adolescence is a bitch--but also developmentally appropriate for her to act like a bitch at this age. Try not to take the disrespect personally and take it one day at a time. She is testing limits. But you are only human yourself! Shows how much you love her that you're being so hard on yourself. Try to let it go and don't let her see you sweat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I think only Americans develop the need to act like a bitch to their parents at this age. Doesn't happen in most other cultures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 05:04 AM Flag
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More like, it isn't tolerated in other cultures, and in 80% of the world, non-tolerated behavior can literally result in being a homeless child or teen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:05 AM Flag
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Seriously. My parents never tolerated that kind of thing and DH and I won't, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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Totally fine. Cmon. You love her and are doing great for her. People blow up sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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sometimes I think it's fine for a parent to lose their cool (not all the time) when a kid is really being disrespectful. Nothing wrong with showing a kid that there a consequences if you push someone past their breaking point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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+ 1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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I think we've all said something like that. Kids that age are pushing buttons like crazy. The job of adolescence is their independence from you. It's scary for them so they do things to have us push them away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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tell her that she was acting rotten but that does not mean that she is rotten-- our behavior does not define who we are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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If you have made it this far without saying something like that, you are doing pretty well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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It's the backtalking that will get you. Just because she is behaving ghetto doesn't mean you have to too. I would have hung up on her and then had a talk with her later on about respectful communication. Engaging in that kind of gutter talk doesn't get anyone anywhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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You sound like a great mom to me if you’ve made it to 15 without saying anything mean to your kid lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:05 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your thoughts on premium jeans? To save money I bought jeans from Uniqlo and Hollington (is that the name? Similar to Abercrombie). I looked horrible wearing them, but whatever. Just ordered jeans from Mother and the are so much more flattering and fit really well. Also ordered Paige jeans and will see if they fit well (my older Paige jeans are worn out). 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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I love AG and pilcro but only buy on sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:53 PM Flag
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AG is worth the money, if you can afford it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Depends on the jeans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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I would pay a lot for a good fit. But every body is different. Surprisingly my best fitting jeans are from Delia’s, the crappy mall store that no longer exists. I love Paige and found a pair at TJ Max once for $50. Also have found good premium jeans at consignment store. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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I had jeans from Delia’s that I loved! Fit me perfectly and they had super-long inseams which eere great as I am tall. My other best-fitting jeans ever were 7 for all Mankind, paperclothdenim, and men’s Levis 501s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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I Ike premium denim. I get my 7 for mankind, Paige and joe’s jeans from tjmaxx or Nordstrom rack. Last time I bought lower end denim from loft and jcrew, I wasn’t happy with the fit. I did recently buy kut from the cloth denim and I like them a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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I agree. The fit is so horrible with the cheaper jeans. I bought one from Ann Taylor too and it it so flimsy, it loses its shape within minutes of wearing it. Horrible. You truly get what you pay for. I ordered Paige from Bordstrom Rack but the mother jeans were full price - gulp... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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Exactly. Denim from the mall stores get stretched out and saggy. They look great in the fitting room at the store. But you don’t realize that they suck until you take them home and wear them For a few hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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I love Madewell jeans. I feel like they fit well and are in between cheaper jeans and really expensive jeans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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One of my fav brands [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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I get Hudson jeans on sale from Nordstrom Rack. Nice quality and fit like a glove. No sagging/stretching out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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I have bought jeans at every price point, from Old Navy on up to brands and prices I can't talk about. What makes the difference is my body, not the jeans..at my skinny weight, Old Navy is just fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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OP. I am thin either way. I never gain weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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and your problem is?? (smh) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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I love J Brand. Don’t mind spending a lot on them because I’ll get so much use out of them — and for at least a few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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I'm waiting on a pair of Paige jeans from ThredUP - $45. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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I like h & m [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:33 AM Flag
[ - ] at what age would you allow DC to hang out in central park with friends at 6pm ? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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Right now at 12. She's shown that I can trust her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:42 PM Flag
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Way too young in my opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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You're two different moms [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Moron. It’s not about trusting her it’s about trusting others who do not have your dd best interests at heart. Am sure your dd will be totally fine but you are a fcking idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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Aren't you a little cream puff. Aww, super big bear hug. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:51 PM Flag
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That escalated fast! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Seriously. My 12 year old is perfectly fine in Central Park with friends at 6pm in June. Yours may not be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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but can you trust the people creeping around? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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Dimwits will be dimwits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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I let my 13 yr old hang out like that now, and probably for the better part of when she was 12. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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14-15. In the afternoon, 12-13. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Having been mugged in Central Park, I'd say not really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:51 PM Flag
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By that logic, you shouldn't leave your apartment. Both my mugging a took place on the street in two different towns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:01 AM Flag
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No, it's not interesting at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:24 AM Flag
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What does this mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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It means you need to go back to school, little one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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At my school, I was taught that "both my mugging a took place" is not a literate phrase. Yours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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There you go, providing no substantive response. Which leads me to believe that although you were able to learn good ELA skills, like many Americans, your lack of critical thinking prevails. It's a shame. That's the way it is, I suppose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:46 AM Flag
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Aww. Elementary deflection doesn't work on most grown-ups, honey. Since you brought it up, though, I would love a substantive response. See my original question: What. does. this. mean? Perhaps you don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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Starting at 6 pm? Just hang out in the park or do something specific? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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In the summer with late sunset - 12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:01 AM Flag
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I’d let my son at 11. For a little while with a phone and I knew where he was. 6pm in June is different from 6pm in October. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Well, I've been listening to CrimeJunkie podcasts so I'd say 25. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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I think its not about time or park per se but being street smart and avoiding situations that make you a target. Never be isolated with just a girlfriend say. Always be where there are people. If you notice no one around get yourself out of there and somewhere that is populated, that kind of wits about you thing. Somif she’s hanging in the Great Lawn on a hot summer night 6 pm is fine. If she is walking by herself or 1 friend deep in the Ramble - NO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] What’s better for my diet in terms of calories. A Greek salad with chicken and a vinaigrette or a bacon cheeseburger with salad? Thank you 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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OP here Greek salad has feta cheese [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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I would choose the cheeseburger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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Feta is fine. It's much better than, say, cheddar on a cheeseburger [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Whatever floats your boat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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The salad. Chicken is a better choice than beef. No bun means no carb. Vinaigrette is good too. Don’t go crazy w the feta but you’re fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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Plus salad has lots more fiber and fiber helps you keep full and is great for your intestines. More vitamins and more fiber and plant oil is healthier even if calorie wise both meals are the same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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Whichever has fewer calories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:13 AM Flag
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They’re both fine. Only eat half the bun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Does being a celeb's help your kid get into school, if you don't make a huge donation? 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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My mom was a celeb's and I didn't get into every school I applied to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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Interesting. A celeb's kid in DDs class got into a really tough school to get into. She did very few activities and quit the ones she did do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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that sounds like every celeb kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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But do colleges not look at activities? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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they want "name brands" just like everyone else [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:46 PM Flag
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But she might have some other special talent or unique experience, which you don't know about, that made her appealing beyond a celeb parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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I'm my mom's only daughter so if I told you, I'd out myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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However, she's not famous anymore and you wouldn't know her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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Dosent matter just wondering if she got in because she was a celeb's kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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They can afford the very best tutors, I am sure she had that. So even without activities I am sure she did well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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No tutors. I wasn't a great student and didn't go to a great boarding school. I actually dropped out before graduating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:01 PM Flag
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So sounds like the fact that you got into any good schools was due to your mom. From what you are saying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:03 PM Flag
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No, they accepted almost everyone. I posted below. I didn't go to college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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I'd need to do some research on that. Will get back to you when all the data is in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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I'll see you at the next of celeb's meeting! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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For private? The ones we toured had guides who were horrible name-droppers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:55 PM Flag
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This is why parent volunteers make bad tour guides. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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Some admissions directors don't like celebrities. Alsothey are often not good development candidates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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Good schools liked this one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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So, just the one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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The one she chose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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I know nothing, but maybe it depends on kind of celeb and any good publicity for a school that would come from being associated with that celeb. Obama's kids can go anywhere. Children of RHONY cast members probably don't get much of a leg up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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and actually the real housewives' kids didn't get in to some schools bc of the tacky /paparazzi/fame whore situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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Yea I would not call them celebs. I am talking about big celebs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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Well kids of a President are in a different category. Sure Barron can go anywhere too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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The rumor is that Sasha Obama is going to U Mich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Truly A list people can get their kids in to any private school. But truly A list is a very short list. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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Matt Damon couldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:14 AM Flag
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Oh I am sure he did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 07:51 PM Flag
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Yeah we all know that famous story. The point is I am sure they have landed somewhere else if not right there the following year. Not my business, I d on't care, but just because ONE celebrity ONE year wasn't accommodated doesn't mean anything. Can't believe I'm even arguing this point. Wow, St Ann's doesn't bow to privilege - is that what you are telling me? It is nothing but an ultimate bastion thereof....like all of them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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Baron Trump got dinged from Browning (before he was president) because he wasn't the right kind of famous for that school... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:26 AM Flag
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Can throw up at this. Browning and the "right kind of famous". Sort of like the pretentious famous UES hair colorist who told me downtown money was "a different kind" of money. PUKE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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maybe at Spence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 09:08 PM Flag
[ - ] I need some advice my DD goes to a small private school , 40 kids in each grade. She has one good friend but almost every day this year complained about how other girls were mean, excluded her, called her names. She is smart, and athletic and wonderful (but I also realize I’m her mother). Is this just what happens at this age? How do I help her cope? I have tried to help foster other friendships but it doesn’t seem to work., she doesn’t get invited to parties and is not feeling good about herself she says”what if what they say is true” about me (about her being annoying, etc. I am thinking about switching schools but am also trying not to project as I too had a tough time with girls at her age. Advice anyone? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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How old is she [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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She is 10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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np - 10/5th grade was the worst year for my dd. I expected 7th and 8th to be rough but they were a breeze compared to 5th, I don't know why. So certainly the experience could get better. It is definitely tough to be in a very small school if things aren't going well socially though, because the friend choices are just so limited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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Was there anything helpful that you were able to do for her during her tough times? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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I did a lot of listening (and wanting desperately to fix things but knowing I couldn't.) I kept my mom desire to drop kick the girl who was being a jerk to her into the next county under wraps. :) I also tried to steer her toward a couple of activities that she really liked where I thought she might meet kids who were a good fit socially. And, most importantly, I kept reminding myself that she actually really was okay and would get through this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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Why do you think they don't like her? this is a good place to start. Sometimes, there is not reason but often, there is. I am not blaming your DD; I am truly trying to be helpful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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Or sometimes kids just need a weak link and pick the sensitive one to gang up on. OP - I was your DD. It was awful. My parents tried really hard to help, and they did in some ways, but they also made me into a victim. I think it’s important you empower DD. Help her find some retorts for the bullies, enroll her in activities where she can find some more friends and gain confidence in herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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this x1000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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Like having brown skin? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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My dd is the same age and also in a small private. ALL the girls complain that they are left out and everyone is mean to them. It seems to be a combination of a) the girls actually sometimes saying and doing mean things to each other out of insecurity as they try to manage friend groups and b) them all being overly sensitive when they're on the receiving end and overemphasizing these things. Because at the same time, they're always making plans together and talking together on the phone (and I do listen in and read the texts and I don't see any bullying). I would pay more attention to what she does than what she says. And talk to the teachers about their observations. They should know if there is really a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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I like public school. Range of kids and sure not every one is nice. But you don't pay for the experience of having your kid treated like garbage. My dd has reconnected with many MS friends this summer (she's now in college) and they all seem to like one another and are from a varied socio-economic background . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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Ditto public. Small class/grade size sucks. Over reaching adults trying to control social scene too - bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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Np: well I’m sure this happens to some girls at a small public in a Westchester town where the parents pay tons of taxes... so it’s not really a public vs private issue here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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I don't know why you wouldn't have seen this coming. Same 40 kids her whole childhood? Duh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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I feel like I had this problem in 5th grade in a small all-girls school. I had one best friend and then a few other friends that rotated — but not a cohesive group. I was not happy about it. Things got better though — I remember 8th being better, and from then on. I did go to some parties though — is she literally invited to none? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on going back to school for an MSW at age 50? I will not be taking out loans to do so if that matters. I would like to work in the field until I retire at 65 or a bit later. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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How long to get MSW? Sure, why not?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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How much are social workers paid? Seems like bad ROI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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I"m all for career changes. But if you need to take out loans to prepare for a field that is low paid (and ANY field will be hard to break in to when you're in your mid 50s) I'd say it will be a financial loss. I mean nobody goes in to social work for the money, but as a financial decision it's not a good one. Is there a way to get involved in social service work that you value without going back to school? In admin or something? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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I'm not going to borrow $. Will pay cash for school. I haven't worked since my kids were born. Now kids are gone. We live a modest life and don't really need my income. I just want to do meaningful work with the time I have left. O [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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np -- if you don't need the money and have the money to pay for it, I'd say go for it. I am 50 and was considering it but for me it would take up too much of my savings for me to feel comfortable, and it is a very low paying field so not a good decision for me. If I didn't need the money, could spend the money and not feel it and was just interested in it with out expecting much I would definitely do!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:46 PM Flag
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My dh is 60 and a social worker. It’s a field where life experience is actually valued and agism is not so prevalent. I would say go for it. I am 57 and thought about going back to school at 50. Wish I had. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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Many MSW's go into private practice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Absolutely. It's a good thing to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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The cost (what? $50K? less?) is less than many on this board would pay to reno a kitchen. If you can live with your battered kitchen (I can) and want this instead, go for it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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I am 51 and an LCSW forever. Lots of jobs, many boring but I work for city ( and I am bored) but the benefits are exceptional. Many do private practice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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Np: I have thought about this... how do you go into private practice? That would be more lucrative, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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If you can get enough clients AND manage the business side of things... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Yes, absolutely. You’re not too old. In two years you will be 52 whether you have an MSW or not, so you might as well plan for a fulfilling career and go back to school now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:47 AM Flag
[ - ] French manicure. O M G 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:36 PM Flag
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Right on! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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I don't even know what a French manicure is... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:43 PM Flag
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I don't need citations thanks. I just don't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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not a citation. a picture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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and if you don't care don't post/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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No, I will post because silence is complicity. What a bunch of empty people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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Oh, ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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And such small portions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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But if you expose her to it, she can no longer smugly claim she "doesn't even know what it is." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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Good point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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But will I care, is the question. No, I certainly would not. There are some ladies in my neighborhood who might. Go talk to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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I don't even understand the point of this post. French manicure. And . . . ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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It seems to be a new UB way of dissing people. Where they go on vacation, what handbags they own and ... OMG ... the fact that they have a French manicure! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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In a post yesterday, it was used to put down someone, saying she wears xx, has this brand of bag and has a French manicure. As in, saying "Horrors!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:22 PM Flag
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Good? Bad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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According to UB, they're a sign of complete tackiness. See today's MP post! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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I like them, but maybe they are a little dated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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I don’t like them but don’t care if others have them. Except when people get them on the toes; it looks creepy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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They're really very 1988. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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They are coming back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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I can’t believe the dragon nails from the late 70’s early and 80’s came back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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They are hideous! And how can anyone DO anything with them, functionally?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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^^^ referring to the dragon nails [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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This is from today's MP post. "Brands are fine. French manicure is beyond cheesy. I wouldn’t think striver, would just think she belongs in staten island." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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So what are the "hot" types of manicures and which colors? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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They make me think of porn actresses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 06:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I started a new job 6 mo the ago and really like it but I am underpaid for wheat I do and my title is lousy. A recruiter called with a job for 40% higher salary, a competitor of my company. I like what I do and where I am but need them to pay me more. What should I do? Alternative is that I stay for another year or two and then switch. Competitor has an opening every year, not because people get fired all the time but because their team is much larger. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:56 PM Flag
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Would not hurt to go and interview at least. You might not like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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Get offer in writing. Tell employer he needs to match it or you are out of there. Family responsibilities. He understands. (He doesn’t, he’s pissed, but not your problem.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:04 PM Flag
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OP. I forgot to mention that these 2 companies have close personal and business ties and it would come out immediately if I interviewed there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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Intrigued. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:21 PM Flag
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That’s ridiculous and unprofessional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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Obviously... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:42 PM Flag
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So what? If your company asks about it tell the truth, say you love the job but really need to be paid more so for the sake of your family/loans/future/whatever, felt you had to take the interview. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:16 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:17 AM Flag
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This. If your company asks you about it, say, "Don't worry, I'll give you a chance to make a competing offer before I make a decision." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:18 AM Flag
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Now it sounds like you are making excuses for staying at the same job for low pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:18 AM Flag
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Do you want to build your resume or your bank account? You accepted the job at this pay and you like it. Pay attention to that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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I live paycheck to paycheck on this lowly salary. Of course I know I am underpaid but it’s not ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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Take the new job. Why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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Because it has not been offered. She is afraid to even interview. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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she should interview and take the job if offerred [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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If you are underpaid, you need to find something with better compensation else you will been seen as a gofer. Tell recruited, find something else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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What’s a gofer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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A "gofer" is someone with a menial, poorly paid, junior job who is told "go get me coffee," "go to Staples," go this, go that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:01 PM Flag
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No, I do high level work but have a low salary and crappy title. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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Because they don't respect you or your work and they think of you as a gofer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Where do kids from Beacon HS go to college? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 06.14.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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Harvard, Michigan, SUNY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:56 PM Flag
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I think there might be one more but that's it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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haha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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NYU and UCLA. That's it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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My dd's friend is at Princeton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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what extraordinary thing does she do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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Her grandfather bought a building [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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unlikely with a public school kid, but nice try [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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Swims. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Here's what I know for this year's seniors: Pomona, Vassar, Northwestern, Middlebury, Williams, Stanford, Brown, Columbia, Smith, Pitzer, Oberlin, UCLA< Wesleyan, Cornell, Carleton, Wellesley, Bryn Mawr, Binghamton, Bard, Villanova, Fordham, Dickinson, Howard, Wisconsin, SUNY Albany, Hunter, Babson, Northeastern, Indiana, Chapman, Delaware, Ohio State. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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Great list! Are you a parent? Do you feel these kids are prepared? Or, do you feel that girl who wrote that op-ed had a point? TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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I'm a parent. I think my DC will be prepared. She's been lucky with her teachers, for the most part. She's organized and self-motivated so I don't need to stay on top of her regarding her school work. She's involved in theater which has given her a tight-knit friend group. I don't think it's a good school for DC who need a lot of structure or don't have a strong EC focus. It's better for humanities than STEM. There are big communications issues with the administration, and I'm not a fan of the principal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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Do you have to pick a major? or are all the arts available to all the kids? My dd is a drama person, and also plays guitar/sings. Will she be able to do all those things? How's the neighborhood? They have outside lunch, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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No majors. Freshman have a different elective each quarter, but they don't get to choose so may or may not get drama or music. Tons of kids participate in bands through the after-school music program and in theater after school. They do not have out lunch. Juniors and seniors can go out for lunch on Fridays. The neighborhood is fine, but the block is a bit grungy b/c there are several taxi garages and lots of construction, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:57 PM Flag
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ok- this is very helpful! How's the social scene? How's the college counseling? Anything to worry about? Thanks again :-). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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The social scene is a mixed bag, sort of like a typical high school: jocks, artsy kids, model UN kids, etc. There is definitely a party scene and a lot of pot and vaping. The college counseling is not great--only 3 counselors for 400 students per grade. There are a lot of UMC parents who hire private admissions advisors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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SUCH a good answer. It's a range [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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In looking at the 2018 list linked above, it's interesting to see what top schools someone got into but that no one went to: Harvard, University of Chicago, Duke, Amherst, Swarthmore, Wellesley, Dartmouth, Juilliard, Northwestern, Wash U [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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It a list for the past 4 years. So someone got in in the past 4 years but no one is going this year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:24 AM Flag
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Oh - got it. What a fucking weird way to list college admissions. Why not just list the 2018 matriculations and how many to each of the colleges? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:25 PM Flag
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Because it isn't as impressive. Beacon isn't alone in doing this but it’s a way to make the list look better. For example the following schools would disappear if it were only listing acceptances from 2018: Amherst Bowdoin Barnard Colby Dartmouth Duke Emory Harvard Haverford Hobart Julliard Kenyon Northwestern RISD Swarthmore Spelman Rutgers UC Berkeley UCLA UCSD Univ of Chicago UVA UWsah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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The asterisk indicates enrollment, so DC may have been accepted to those schools last year and didn't attend. I know that at least 2 DC got into Amherst this year and I don't think either one is going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 09:19 PM Flag
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It would be way more honest if schools listed the numbers that went to each but very few do this that I’ve seen (public). Obviously just naming 25 very good private schools and some SUNYs and CUNYS looks way better than the probable reality at many high schools of the great majority attending SUNY and CUNY and 1 or 2 at prestige privates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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You can't look at the list and make inferences about the strength of the school curriculum or advising or anything, really. All it tells you is who the students are. DCs are at SHS and every year we look at the valedictorians and where they go to college, and it's rarely HYP. It's usually MIT or JHU or U Chicago, this year, U Mich. Those are extraordinarily good schools, but all those kids usually apply to HYP and don't get accepted. HYP is usually reserved for athletes, URM and the very connected. There are exceptions, of course, but I've been watching this for the last several years, and it's pretty consistent. So the kid who got into Harvard or Stanford or Brown wasn't necessarily a great student who got great education at Beacon. They would have gotten into Stanford from the worst school in NYC just as well. So I wouldn't put too much stock in these lists. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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This, so this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Have you been able to make short-term long distance work? I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year and we are very serious. But I am 90% sure I will accept an overseas job for 8 months. Planning to get engaged after. Are we crazy? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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8 months is nothing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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Not crazy at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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Yes. Well, sort of. I dated my ex boyfriend long distance for about a year. When we then lived in the same city I learned a lot about him that I didn't like. Long distance is romantic and "crazy" and every time you see each other it's like a vacation. Real relationships aren't like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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Should be fine if you can keep up some visits! How often could you see each other? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:56 PM Flag
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It’s over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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how old are you? i would get engaged now and forget the job if you are over 32... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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And this is why we get about 5 posts per week from women who aren't allowed to have a credit card or buy a chair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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Lmao True! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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DH and I were long distance (internationally) for 3 years, but we loved each other, and were committed to making it work. We just decided that once we were married we would stay together and no more long distance. We'll be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary next week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Need UBs help: Brother in law died horrificly 20 years ago; sister has three grown children. Her oldest DC has effectively removed himself from family (it appears at his wife's prompting, but he has cooperated) while remaining very close with his wife's family. Yet they chose to live in same small town as my sister. I have seen nephew 3x in 20 years (used to see him 3x month) and every time, he is warm and friendly to our whole family. Sister did nothing wrong -- no abuse, no alcohol, has close relationships with other two DCs (who nephew has equally disassociated from). Nephew just threw a huge graduation party for his dc, invited half the town, including my sister's neighbors, but not my sister, who was devastated. We've tip-toed around nephew hoping he would find his way back, but I think I need to tell him off and tell him his father would be ashamed of how he's treating his mother. Should I? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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No, because you don't know the real reason why he doesn't speak to his mother, I would stay out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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OP: but no one does. Not my sister, not her other dcs. It's just weird because for the few times we've seen them, they act so normal toward everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Your sister knows but is not telling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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+1000. DH's parents also have NO IDEA why his brother cut them off. Um... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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there is a middle ground between saying nothing and attacking. try a conversation without judgment at a neutral location. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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He doesn't want to. np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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No need to attack, but have a heart to heart. Tell him how his actions have affected his mother and you and ask him to explain himself and what has been happening. (don't assume you know what is going on as your probably not omnipotent). You care about your nephew and about your sister. Be a good example! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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omniscient [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:36 PM Flag
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Can you invite him out to lunch, just the two of you? Tell him you miss him and want to reconnect, but don't be pushy or nosy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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Of course not. Who made you in charge of the behavior of another adult. Move on with life. In a manner that doesn’t cause pain to others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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Your sister must be fibbing about having no idea why he is angry! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:57 PM Flag
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I agree! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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Stay out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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She might have been rude to the wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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It’s not your place to say anything. I suspect your sister behaved differently behind closed doors when the kids were younger then she does with you. I’ve experienced a person with a public face and a private face. And of course the public face is always the nice one. Stay out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Any teachers on? What’s end of year clean up like? I just spent the last two days sitting in my office doing nothing but couldn’t leave. So ridiculous. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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It usually takes me about 25-30 hours worth of work over 3 weeks to shut down my classroom for the year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Acquaintance carries Goyard tote, wears Alahambra necklace, Burberry jacket and french manicure. UB would call her a striver, but she is a successful businesswoman in her own right. What's so bad about her taste? 80 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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I have a very good knock off Alhambra necklace I bought for $20 in Palm Beach, and a Burberry jacket I got on ebay, half price. She may just be good at finding bargains. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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Nothing is bad about her taste, and I'll bet she wouldn't care what people on UB think about her style. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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On the contrary, only people who care what others think wear these brands. Maybe not the Burberry jacket because that is well made and functional, but the tote and necklace are only for the brand name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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But how do you know what others are thinking when they choose their clothes and accessories? Perhaps she just has a lot of disposable income and likes those brand name items. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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Exactly! I wear Gucci loafers and carry a Chloe purse sometimes. Also look disheveled in sweats some days. Ha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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and why would you care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:37 PM Flag
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I loathe people like this because it's so pedestrian it's embarrassing. It's all the boring, standard, trite logos and signs that insecure people wear to try to advertise they're wealthy. As soon as the Goyard tote jumped the shark I got rid of mine. French manicure says it all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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you would actually spend energy "loathing" someone over their fashion choices? what does that say about you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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OR- not loathing them for "fashion choices" but loathing them for trying to showoff wealthy through tacky brands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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*wealth [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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...and it says I have plenty of money- more than they'll guess- but feel no need to advertise it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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no, it says that you are judgmental with a boring life. you should be so busy with refining your own life, that you have no time to care about others' choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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But they may not necessarily be doing that, perhaps you are projecting or reading too much into other people's choices. Unless you know the person personally, why would you think that about a random woman walking down the street wearing these aforementioned brands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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Why else would someone wear those brands? They're visible, well known and unsubtle displays of wealth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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Because they like them. The end - no ulterior “wealth-displaying” motives needed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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And yet you say you bought a Goyard tote and got rid of it? But you bought it in the first place to advertise your wealth, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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When I bought it, I was unique and being authentic! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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LMFAO. As if. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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ha ha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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God forbid someone carries a bag they like and that works for their life. I'm sure she wouldn't care that someone like you loathes her, she has better things to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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They are not showing off. They are buying things they can afford and just splurging for nice things they maybe could never afford before, but can now. It's tacky for you as you think that sophistication is belonging to some secret group of fasionistas and old money. You are actually what they call A SNOB, my dear. Not any better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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So Goyatd wasn't tacky when you owned it, just when others did? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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THIS!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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well said [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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I know, right? She doesn't understand irony. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:18 AM Flag
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Are you seriously this much of an a-hole? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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French manicure says it all? Really?I know a woman who wears one all the time, she just finds it a neat functional look, never has to choose a color. What on earth do you think she's saying, can't wait to hear. (and it's not me btw) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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She's just trying to sound superior by saying nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:33 PM Flag
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So what brand of tote, necklace and jacket do you sports nowadays? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:00 PM Flag
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Boring and standard doesn't mean insecure, please hammer this into your head. Successful people are busy and don't have time to be researching OKD brands or care to hire a personal shopper, they care about other things. So, they go to a store and buy whatever they see other people wear when they feel like they want to splurge, they are victims to marketing and have enough cash to not be thinking hard about shopping around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Well, maybe. But, I don't want to spend hours shopping. It is simple and quick for me just to go to Theory and buy rather than to spend hours shopping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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Not everyone has time on their hands to shop often enough to know about different brands. They buy things that are in their face and are well marketed. Do you not get this? Some women prioritize fashion, some have time for this, some don't, they buy what's sold to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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The one time I worked with a personal shopper I ended up with $1,000.00 worth of clothes which I realized I hated. My own taste, while erring on the conservative side, is more reliable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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Good for you, what about women who don't have a fashion sense, is this a sin? Does it make them inferior, less intelligent, less accomplished? They buy what's marketed to them and their income determines the price range. That's how economy functions. Those who don't have time for extensive research end up falling into the marketer's trap, happens for all goods and services, not just clothes and accessories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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Hahaha. Oh the irony. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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CRINGE. if you had to get rid of an expensive bag once it "jumped the shark" you are the most insecure and brand obsessed of all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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Honestly, this does not sound like good taste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Which brands are good taste nowadays? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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The ones you like best. always. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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Good taste is not some particular brand, and subtlety is always in good taste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:21 PM Flag
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I know Burberry when I see it but clueless on the rest, so ambivalent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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Her taste is fine, and people can be strivers in ways unrelated to personal appearance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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She has mainstream taste. Things are popular for a reason and look good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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Nothing. It's the UES uniform. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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It sounds like she's arrived! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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I always say I don’t care about labels but fully plan to outfit myself in labels if I ever arrive! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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She's a piece of meat that thinks she's all that b/c she throws labels ontop of herself. I know nothing about this person inside or what they do to improve the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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Ok Op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:37 PM Flag
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Lol. And how exactly does your necklace and the purse you carry reflect what you do "to improve the world"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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Into branding is she? So I'm sporting my Adidas tights, Keds sneakers, Champion sweatshirt and Nike baseball cap! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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This. A logo is a logo. Impossible to get away from. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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The Burberry coat is actually in good taste IMO. When I grew up in the 80s and 90s, the distinguished parents of my friends had them. It was all very classic and lasted for years/decades. For some reason, Americans think it’s tacky, but that’s not my problem. I have no opinion about Goyard and Alhambra necklaces and am not I to manicures but I think your friend is ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Burberry was a much different brand in the ‘80s and 90’s. They had classic clothing back then. Now they present “on-trend” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:11 PM Flag
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She needs to signal her wealth. That's not really taste, it's insecurity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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Your answer is not intelligent, it's jealousy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:03 AM Flag
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She is not signalling anything. She is buying goods in a specific price range consistent with her disposable income that are marketed to her. Anything else takes an effort, she probably isn't willing or caring to expend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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I'm reasonably successful and when I buy a designer brand it is because I like the quality of the workmanship. My theory is that since UB is largely women the negative comments about "strivers" are just part of that endless, boring, hope we'll get over it one day..female competitiveness that society instills in us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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NP: I think the striver would be someone who recognizes all those brands and judges someone based upon their owning them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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Ding ding ding. She is judging a person for the choices relating to the knowledge this person does not possess. To possess this knowledge you have to be very interested in the specific scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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+5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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I found Alhambra classic. I like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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How do you know they weren't gifts from her dh? And of course she wears them because she wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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Daenerys had French manicures in the last season of GOT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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DH bought me the small Goyard zip top tote for my birthday this year; he got it in a fairly uncommon color. I really like it... and he doesn't care what other people think of his brand choices. Not sure that makes either of us strivers; pretty sure I don't care. (I also have a Burberry jacket I got from my MIL; no idea what an Alahambra necklace is) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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Men care about this even less. It's a classic example of someone buying goods in a specific price range consistent with person's wealth that are marketed the most. When it comes to women's fashions, most men have very little interest in, men just buy what they see other women wear and what they see on the ads more frequently, obviously they are very much unwilling to expand any more effort in that direction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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He doesn't KNOW what other people think about his brand choices, this is very typical of many people buying brand name clothes. You don't CARE only if you had been on UB where ideas of NOKD and OKD brands had been reiterated multiple times. Most people have zero concept about supposed OKD/NOKD brands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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Brands are fine. French manicure is beyond cheesy. I wouldn’t think striver, would just think she belongs in staten island [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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I don't even know what Alhambra necklace is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Np that makes two of us. No clue what these labels are and dont really care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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Nothing. Let her enjoy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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I know someone like this, except the french manicure. Add a Cartier love bracelet, monogram on the Goyard bag, and a big Starbucks cup at all times. Extremely basic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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Isn't is an alhambra necklace? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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I'm fine with the majority of it but the french manicure is soooo tacky. Strippers, Jersey, lines of coke in the 1980s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:08 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I have DD 6 and another DD on the way. We're currently in a small 2 bed in Manhattan. We're looking at 2 other apartments in our building: Option 1) another 2 bed with a much larger living room and kitchen, with 2 good sized bedrooms. Option 2) a 3 bed with a smaller living area than we have now and 3 bedrooms (each on the smaller side but adequate). We love the larger 2 bed, but are we being foolish not choosing the 3 bed with DB coming? Thank you for any advice! 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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I couldn’t do a 2-bedroom with an older DC and a baby. You can switch in a couple of years. Don’t ruin older DC’s sleep for a larger living room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Hands down larger living space. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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2 bed with larger living room - you can keep the baby in your room for 12 months and by then she will be a good sleeper so she can share with older DD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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is the two bedroom dividable? long term this is not a good solution, if you don't mind moving again, maybe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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I disagree. I have an 8 and 10 yo boy in a tiny room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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I disagree too. Children do not need their own bedroom. Such entitlement. So many children shared growing up, often 3 in one room with a twin and set of bunk beds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:52 PM Flag
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Bedrooms are for sleeping. Not studio apartments for tweens. Get your family back together during waking hours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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I agree with this. We're currently looking for an apartment and our number one necessity is a larger living room precisely for this reason. We spend time as a family in the living room, and should be relaxing/sleeping in the bedrooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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there will be a 7 year age difference between them, sharing a room is not going to work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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It can work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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It certainly can. My sister is 6 years older and we did just fine. It’s a bed. A place to lay your head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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It will work if you make it work. The new baby will stay in your room for much of the first year anyway, so it's not like your 6 yr old will be up all night listening to a crying child. If you insist on having a separate room for each, then that's what you'll do, but you're acting like this is an impossible feat. I have 4 DC's who share two rooms, which includes DD's who are 9 years apart, and it works just fine because they have a good amount of living room and hallway space to run and play. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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I did this and it was okay at those ages but not much longer. When ods was 12 he needed his own room. We moved when he was 13 and it was on the late side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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They will always share a room. Though in a coupe of years they will have a bigger room. I shared a room with my sister until I was 15. Big family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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If you plan to be there a while, the three bedroom. As the kids get older, they'll spend more and more time in their rooms. Plus a baby with a 6yo int he same room will be tough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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That is a big age range. I would do the 3 bedroom and get rid of extra furniture that you don't need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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I would do 2 bed for 1 year, then move to 3 bed. I also know 2 families who converted walk-in closet to DB's room until DB was 2. They used armoires for their in-season clothes and put the rest in storage unit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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The Brady Bunch had three girls in one room and three boys in another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 04:25 AM Flag
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My favorite answer ever on UB. Thank you!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I am considering going back to school for a combination JD/MSW, is this worth it? Should I only get one of the degrees, or are there jobs where I can combine both? Thanks, UB :) 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:05 PM Flag
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Curious - how old are you and what do you want to do? The combination seems like overkill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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I am 26, and I want to work with immigrants/women/children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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I don't think you need the MSW. Just work with a legal clinic in law school. MSW is more for case work and therapy. Assuming you want to practice law. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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Thanks, I do want to practice law but I feel like I can better serve my clients if I have a deeper understanding of their problems (MSW). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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I'm an MSW. You'll go through internships, but for that experience, you can volunteer. They're always looking for sincere volunteers. Reading about immigration in a class isn't really the same thing as interacting with people. Save your $. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Thanks for your reply, maybe I will do the JD and continue to volunteer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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np --- this is a good plan. Have friend doing what you want -- she got jd and volunteered and is doing great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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I believe you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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sorry for quadruple post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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oops, sorry for quadruple post! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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ugh, my internet is sh** [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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As long as you’re not on law review (at some schools this is a huge time commitment) you could easily do an MSW during your last 2 years of law school without missing a single hour of sleep; but why would you bother? Just make sure to choose a law school with lots of clinics for the poor and underserved staffed by law students and you will learn all you need to know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you have an affair if there were no kids involved? OM is the most amazing man you have ever met. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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then get a divorce and date him afterwards [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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This. Get a spine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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No, it would get a divorce, because with no kids it is easier! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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+++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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I'm contemplating that very same question... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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I’m trying to figure out why your spouse cares if your lover has a child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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...? that's not what she is saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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An amazing man who doesn’t mind screwing around with a married woman? Not so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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this+ a million [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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+ 2 million. A douchebag with low self-esteem? Opposite of hot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Is this hypothetical or are you asking about your own situation? I would not have an affair because I've lived long enough to know that even "the most amazing man" turns into a regular person with the passage of time. But if I wasn't in a good marriage, I might divorce and then date that most amazing man if he was still around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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People always say divorce first, but divorce takes so long especially if there are assets to divide/children involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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You can legally separate quite easily and agree to date while you complete the divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Anyone willing to cheat with you when you're married to someone else isn't exactly a great guy. Kind of by definition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:21 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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No, it will ruin your marriage and end in heartbreak. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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yes, but i am in an open marriage... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 01:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Is your DH still as considerate of you as he was when you were dating? e.g. never being curt with you, always gentle, etc. DH was a gentleman, and now barks orders. Is this just the natural progression of a long-term relationship? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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Wanting sex always puts them on their best behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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We've been together 40 years and if anything he's become more considerate over time but I think we're in the minority. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 07:48 PM Flag
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in some ways more so, because he knows me better as a person and so knows what things i specifically like and don't like. if he tried barking out orders i'd give him shit and he knows it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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Same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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Not as considerate, also just not as compromising. If I knew then what I knew now, I wouldn't have married him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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No. There's no natural progression. A person is either a jerk or not, with the ability to hide it when convenient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:10 PM Flag
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He's definitely as considerate but not as doting or romantic, for sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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My DH is still as considerate as he was back then, and you should not let DH bark orders at you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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I don't think it's a natural progression. DH is the same considerate & affectionate person he was when we met 12 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.14.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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Mostly. He's still just as kind as he always was. That part hasn't changed at all. But we are more direct with eachother. Sometimes we bicker, but it doesn't last long and we always talk it out and work it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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