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05.19.13, 01:52 AM
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drunk?
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05.19.13, 01:47 AM
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So cute! I love when my boys fall asleep in front of the TV after a hard day!
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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No - he's not drunk. He works non-stop at a very physical job, so I understand he's exhausted - but that doesn't take away my feeling of being alone every weekend night!
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05.19.13, 01:56 AM
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He's home with you. A bunch of women have no clue where their husbands are tonight, unfortunately.
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05.19.13, 01:54 AM
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Saturday is not a hard day for this dip$hit
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05.19.13, 01:57 AM
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i HATE the knicks. So over basketball.
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05.19.13, 02:00 AM
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Relax - the Knicks season is almost over - you'll be sick of spending Saturday nights with him soon.
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05.19.13, 02:00 AM
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OP here, except for the dipshit comment, thanks ladies for giving me perspective. Good point, at least I know where he is - although most likely he will stay asleep on LR floor until morning!
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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My dh has a few drinks and does this almost every night. I think it's totally disgusting (go the F to bed like an adult), but I'm trying to deal with it so I don't hate him.
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05.19.13, 02:18 AM
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Lol!!!! I'm sorry, this is how I feel. Thanks for articulating it so well
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05.19.13, 02:24 AM
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OR: Unfortunately, I lots it on him tonight and kicked his legs off the couch, so he finally got it together and went to bed. What is wrong with these guys?
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05.19.13, 03:22 AM
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Mine is out tonight and will be useless tomorrow. He complains about how hard he works but he has weekends off. Tomorrow I'll be doing exactly what I'll be doing
Monday... cooking, cleaning, caring
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05.19.13, 04:09 AM
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05.19.13, 01:50 AM
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Agree. N
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05.19.13, 01:57 AM
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I'd say more of a sociological experiment, since groups have characteristics of their own.
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05.19.13, 02:00 AM
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OP - good point
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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NP as a sociology major, I would have to agree. I'm surprised no one has done research on UB, actually.
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05.19.13, 02:26 AM
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Love it and hate all at the same time.
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05.19.13, 03:01 AM
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Actually, no human subjects committee would approve participation in UB - too much risk from trolls, heartless snark, etc.
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05.19.13, 02:58 AM
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15 Replies
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05.19.13, 01:47 AM
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So that you will by and e subscription.
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05.19.13, 01:43 AM
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op: i wonder how much it is. do you happen to know by any chance?
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05.19.13, 01:44 AM
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More than $30/month
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05.19.13, 01:47 AM
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Its $15. Well worth it to me.
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05.19.13, 05:17 AM
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They usually have intro deals for four weeks for 99 cents a week. I've heard that they are thinking about lowering the standard cost of $20 a month to get more subscribers, and they just started offering all videos on the site as unlimited and free.
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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They need to pay for world class journalism. You are annoying.
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05.19.13, 01:43 AM
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i just read it on my ipad or iphone instead of my computer when that happens. or clear cookies.
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05.19.13, 01:44 AM
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They are a business and good journalism costs. We get home delivery, which I love, so on-line is free.
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05.19.13, 01:51 AM
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how much is home delivery? op
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05.19.13, 02:10 AM
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Not sure...we use Mitchell's delivery service and they put it our credit card every 6 wks or so. Great customer service. It's one service I couldn't do without.
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05.19.13, 03:09 AM
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Understand that keeping that the newspaper needs some kind of revenue. N.
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05.19.13, 01:58 AM
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all you have to do is clear your cookies, start over.
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05.19.13, 02:04 AM
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this
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05.19.13, 03:06 AM
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It has for ages. Used to be 20, now it's 10.
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05.19.13, 02:08 AM
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05.19.13, 01:38 AM
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Yes. My mom did it and so could I.
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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was it tough for you as a kid? do you have siblings? who took care of you when she was at work?
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05.19.13, 01:40 AM
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No, no, I did after school programs and then was a latch-key kid from 5th grade on. I never thought anything of it. I had extended family but they lived a thousand miles away. I think my mom was the toughest woman I have ever known.
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05.19.13, 01:49 AM
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Sounds like she was a great lady. I mean it.
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05.19.13, 01:56 AM
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She was. I miss her terribly.
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05.19.13, 01:52 AM
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Did you turn out well?
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05.19.13, 02:19 AM
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no she is a serial killer...what kind of question is this?
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05.19.13, 02:14 AM
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Yes. I am happy with a great family and a nice life.
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05.19.13, 02:37 AM
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And you I love.
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05.19.13, 02:37 AM
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I just meant (for op) - did you do drugs? Date loser men? Ever have daddy issues? Did you go to a good college and do you have a good job? What's your hhi?
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05.19.13, 02:48 AM
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No, no, I went to a state college for financial reasons, we do fine, I taught for 15 years and am now at home with 2 small kids. My mother told me when she was sick that her only regret was that she had to rush back to work. It really impacted my decision, I was suprised.
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05.19.13, 02:47 AM
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And I have issues with my father because he was an asshole, but I never have dated men like him. I know his game and avoid it.
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05.19.13, 02:47 AM
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Sorry, op :(
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05.19.13, 02:55 AM
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Why are you sorry? I have a great life.
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05.19.13, 03:01 AM
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I have no contact with my bio family, though do have 3 very close friends (wouldn't count acquaintances in this kind of case). How many dc and how old? How much do you earn and how much dh? But, yes, if the marriage was definitely over in my mind, I would leave regardless of other supports. It would just require more extensive planning. Presumably you would get child support and/or alimony plus asset split.
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05.19.13, 01:41 AM
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I have two DCs, 4 and 6. Currently a stay at home mom, but started sending out my resume and actively looking for a job lately. DH makes 300, it will be tough for him too. I know this is pathetic but I do not have any friends either.
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05.19.13, 01:43 AM
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or: it is not pathetic. i don't make new friends now that i am done with schooling. what are the reasons for the split? can it be amicable with fair asset/support? if not, plan your exit, take 50% of joint money into personal account and then initiate divorce. do not leave the home (if you own). do not leave the kids, even briefly. don't start work now. usually you are told to wait as you will get more favorable settlement. kids still need extensive care time-wise so work is tough.
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05.19.13, 01:55 AM
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Thank you for the advice! We just don't get along anymore, we haven't for a while and we are both miserable. We don't really have much to divide, we own the house. We would probably need to sell it. The joint account we have is for monthly living expenses and doesn't really have any extra money to take.
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05.19.13, 01:56 AM
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Tough situation. Stay in the house no matter what. He can leave if he wants. See a lawyer as first consult is usually free. You will have to sell house and he will have to pay CS. Alimony depends on state, but likely for some period to give you time to get a job. $300K is a lot since you don't sound like Manhattan with a house. Sounds like you live to close to the edge financially anyway either from debt, loans or mortgage so a lot of changes are needed anyway. Look, women always end up worse off $$ in divorce. But since there are not significant assets, and child support will be set by judge and usually state numbers, you will suffer less than many women. I know how hard marriage is and it certainly has ups and downs, but if you really truly both know you are done, better to seek happiness sooner than later. Have you ever talked with him about this?
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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Thank you! He probably has savings and retirement funds. He transfers a fixed amount to our joint acount from his private account every month. We talked about it, he said I could leave if I wanted, but he knows I don't have anywhere to go. I will look into getting a lawyer consult next week.
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05.19.13, 02:10 AM
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That is very different. He has money. You will need a lawyer and subpoena all financial records. Do not leave. You potentially harm your case significantly if you "abandon" the home. Yes, you are entitled to half of retirement and savings, just not inheritance.
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05.19.13, 02:59 AM
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My friend's DH died and her family was far away and had no ILs(they had died too). She managed. Her children were little.
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05.19.13, 01:49 AM
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I think it would be easier to leave with no family because then they couldn't judge me for getting divorced. They'd hate me more than DH, I would imagine.
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05.19.13, 02:16 AM
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05.19.13, 01:38 AM
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Not a fan .
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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yea
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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They can be hot
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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Only if you're thin & sexy. NO bootcut
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05.19.13, 01:41 AM
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OP: I would classify myself as curvy (but not fat). Trying to figure out if I can rock them. I kind of like the look but I worry they are only for the straight stick type ladies.
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05.19.13, 03:01 AM
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Hate
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05.19.13, 01:51 AM
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Yes.
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05.19.13, 01:57 AM
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I like the idea of them but every pair I've tried on has looked awful, and I'm a size 4
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05.19.13, 01:58 AM
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Yea, they are ok, but I am not a huge fan. N
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05.19.13, 01:59 AM
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Love.
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05.19.13, 02:01 AM
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I love them
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05.19.13, 02:01 AM
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Yea.
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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nothing white and tight is going on my ass ever so no.
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05.19.13, 02:20 AM
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Yea
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05.19.13, 02:32 AM
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Only if you are very thin. And live in SoCal.
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05.19.13, 03:14 AM
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05.19.13, 01:18 AM
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The real truth is children are who they are and you are not nearly as "responsible" as you think you are.
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05.19.13, 01:13 AM
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+100000000000000000
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05.19.13, 01:19 AM
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You are copping out. OP is correct, good kids are a sign of good parenting!
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05.19.13, 01:27 AM
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I agree!
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05.19.13, 01:36 AM
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Agree, signed nanny. I have seen it all.
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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Most often true...with some exceptions. Good parents can has "challenging" kids.
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05.19.13, 01:56 AM
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VBA
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05.19.13, 02:09 AM
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Any nanny, sitter, or teacher will agree.
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05.19.13, 02:47 AM
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YES!!
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05.19.13, 01:27 AM
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same!
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05.19.13, 03:05 AM
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NOT true. My kids both have hot tempers, but they know to keep it in check when we are in public, if not they get to experience MY temper. They behave, because I have been consistent with them. Not luck.
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05.19.13, 01:27 AM
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ha ha. that's what my friend bragged about too - until she had her third dc. now she gets it.
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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I am not bragging and what does your friends situation have to do with mine? What does she get?
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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+1
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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I would bet she did not parent #3 in the same manner as the first two.
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05.19.13, 01:30 AM
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yea, that makes so much more sense that the mom changed her style than the child had a different personality. hello
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05.19.13, 01:31 AM
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Not uncommon for the 3rd child or last child to be treated differently.
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05.19.13, 01:32 AM
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I see this all the time!
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05.19.13, 01:27 AM
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me too! all 3rd children end up in prison. studies prove it.
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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OH dear God. You are now insufferable.
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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great moms have an expiration date? who knew?
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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actually a large part of your children's behaviors are in fact genetic luck. temperament is evident in infancy. however, this does not mean you did not play a role in helping them learn socially appropriate behavior. i don't think or is saying you are meaningless, just that a lot of things ARE out of our control. but i do find that when i feel this defensive about something, it usually comes from a place of self-doubt.
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05.19.13, 01:35 AM
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THIS. OP obviously lacks something.
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05.19.13, 01:42 AM
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Lolololol. Hi there, jealous middle school girl
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05.19.13, 01:55 AM
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It's healthy to approach parenting with a fair amount of self-doubt, and the alternative is really unattractive.
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05.19.13, 01:38 AM
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or: agreed. that is why op is lacking self-awareness. she is over-confident and presumably fairly new to parenting.
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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not to mention a real pita.
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05.19.13, 01:49 AM
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OP here. I'm not that new and I've been through some major shit with one of my DCs. The fact that people also forget this is another topic. Most people would have a ridiculously spoiled dc had they dealt with what we did.
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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stop. just stop. you are needy.
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05.19.13, 01:46 AM
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How is this needy?
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05.19.13, 01:51 AM
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do you ever have sex? I can't imagine.
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05.19.13, 01:46 AM
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You have a very poor imagination.
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05.19.13, 01:51 AM
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smug. haven't used that here before but it fits you well. "that new" implies your kids are, as we all believe, relatively young. I'm sorry you had/have a sick child. But that doesn't change the nature vs nurture. It just means you've likely had a difficult time and want more recognition from those around you. Perhaps join some SN support groups?
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05.19.13, 01:53 AM
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Who said sick or SN?
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05.19.13, 01:55 AM
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"major shit" usually refers to illness or SN. perhaps you can clarify what you mean by that phrase help us understand.
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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"major shit" usually refers to illness or SN. perhaps you can clarify what you mean by that phrase help us understand.
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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yep. extreme parenting, in either direction is problematic. but the vast majority of parents do a lot less molding than they think.
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05.19.13, 01:32 AM
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Exactly. So much is just their nature. Dh and I are mild mannered. Our kids are polite and friendly. We didn't do anything to make them that way aside from providing our genes.
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05.19.13, 01:36 AM
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I had a mom say to me I was "lucky" that neither of my kids had been sent to the principal at school. This after my 6 yr old daughter bit her son when he pinned her against the wall and slapped her. The was tiny, he was twice as big. She was "acquitted" and he was suspended. I was "lucky" my kids were well behaved.
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05.19.13, 01:55 AM
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Not a vent, a vba. But good for you for being a good mom.
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05.19.13, 01:19 AM
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and moms with "problem" children obviously are not.
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05.19.13, 01:14 AM
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I'm not trying to brag. It's really annoying when people put all the credit on dcs' behavior on them "being compliant," or "being naturally good." They are NORMAL. They test me. I would obviously never say this IRL.
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05.19.13, 01:22 AM
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you should stop now, you are crossing into insufferable bitch (and we all know that apples don't fall far from the tree)
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05.19.13, 01:23 AM
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this!
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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if you wouldn't put it in writing and sign your name to it, then you shouldn't say it at all.
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05.19.13, 01:23 AM
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I WOULD put it in writing and sign my name. I just wouldn't say it out loud on a regular basis IRL.
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05.19.13, 01:25 AM
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ok, who are you mother of all mothers?
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05.19.13, 01:26 AM
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You probably know me. Earlier today you told me 'Your children are extraordinary."
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05.19.13, 01:22 AM
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nope.
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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I can 100% guarantee those words have never come out of my mouth, to anyone
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05.19.13, 01:26 AM
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lol
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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I totally agree with you.
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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Me too! Same deal. I always say, I WORKED for this!
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05.19.13, 01:14 AM
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OP here, sometimes I say this.
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05.19.13, 01:22 AM
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all children at some point with something. your day will come.
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05.19.13, 01:15 AM
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I have had my day as a matter of fact. And I'm sure that I might have another "day."
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05.19.13, 01:17 AM
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address for medal?______________________________________________________________
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05.19.13, 01:15 AM
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love you
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05.19.13, 01:52 AM
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They're not mutually exclusive. I work extremely hard to get my kid to behave with less-than-perfect results.
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05.19.13, 01:21 AM
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oh no - you suck as a mom - if you worked AS hard as she does and did the exact same things... your results would be the SAME.
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05.19.13, 01:22 AM
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I guess you're right. After all, all kids are intrinsically identical. The only difference is parental input. :)
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05.19.13, 01:23 AM
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well duh :) that's why all sibs are exactly alike.
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05.19.13, 01:25 AM
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OP here. My dcs aren't perfect either!
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05.19.13, 01:18 AM
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no kidding.
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05.19.13, 01:25 AM
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Ugh. Can't even accept banal compliments. We find them normal and are trying to make you feel good.
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05.19.13, 01:22 AM
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lol
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05.19.13, 01:24 AM
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Lol.
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05.19.13, 01:20 AM
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My DH likes it when I "discipline" him
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05.19.13, 01:22 AM
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I'm a fan of a good spanking myself.
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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There's always one.
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05.19.13, 01:34 AM
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What do you do . Belt, corner time , do you make him get naked first, pants down to his ankles spread over the bed
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05.19.13, 01:54 AM
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How many whippings does he get. I gove my dh 10 the make him stand in the corner until I tell he can come out,. If he complain
Ns he gets 10 more
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05.19.13, 02:02 AM
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Then we have hot sex
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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I don't usually engage ingnorant arrogant people, but how old are your children OP?
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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It's a moot point in this argument because the people who say this to me have children around the same age as my dcs, or only one about the same age as one of mine.
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05.19.13, 01:26 AM
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what?
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05.19.13, 01:32 AM
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so you just can't bring yourself to admit how young your children are?
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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your odd refusal to share their ages really makes this whole post less credible.
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05.19.13, 01:43 AM
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it was never credible.
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05.19.13, 01:44 AM
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Your DC are like 3, right?
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05.19.13, 01:24 AM
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No.
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05.19.13, 01:25 AM
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so - how old are they?
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05.19.13, 01:32 AM
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See above. Moot point.
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05.19.13, 01:34 AM
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are they born yet?
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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see above, called you out :)
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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?
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05.19.13, 01:36 AM
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OP- I could have written this. Discipline means "to teach" at it's root and sadly seems to have been lost on many of our generation. I have stopped having playdates with the few kids that are continually difficult and have no consequences. Our child's teacher suggested and is working well.
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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@@
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05.19.13, 01:30 AM
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We must be sisters! I make it a point to go talk to the teacher after a bad playdate and make sure she knows that the other child is dreadful and can't follow the rules and my child is doing great. It usually works and the teacher always suggests that I keep my wonderfully delightful child away from the other scum in the classroom. A couple of times the teacher has even given me a hand written list of children to avoid - rather than spoil my perfect spawn.
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05.19.13, 01:32 AM
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Actually all kids in my child's class very well behaved and this was in response to issue having w difficult kids not from school.
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05.19.13, 01:40 AM
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oh yes, I also go to my teacher to discuss other children she doesn't even know who don't attend the school and I get the same advice you did. Sorry I left that out.
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05.19.13, 01:47 AM
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So that would be a yes on the "are your DC very young?" question. LOL
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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That was NOT OP but someone responding to OP, btw.
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05.19.13, 01:40 AM
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Yes sorry meant to address OP
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05.19.13, 01:39 AM
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That wasn't OP
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05.19.13, 01:36 AM
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thank you for clarifying. So will the real OP fess up? How old?
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05.19.13, 01:43 AM
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She's thinking really hard about what the right ages are to make up.
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05.19.13, 01:40 AM
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I'm deciding if it will make a difference if I post their ages. Probably not. They are not in college yet so I am guessing people will say "JUST WAIT until they go to college."
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05.19.13, 01:42 AM
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I know. no matter what she types at this point, I don't buy.
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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are you Republican mom?
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05.19.13, 01:31 AM
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Hardly.
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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^^^I'm crazy, liberal, zero waste, traditional school mom.
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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are they good sleepers? good eaters? how old?
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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How old are your kids? I'm incredibly consistent with my two year old, but he had a tantrum in Target yesterday and threw a car at his brother on Monday.
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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if you continue to post things like this, I will be forced to call CPS on you.
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05.19.13, 01:30 AM
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OP here. This is my point. My dcs do this sort of thing too. I'm sure you were consistent when it happened. But in GENERAL mine are extremely well behaved, polite etc. So when people attribute their good behavior to "being so lucky" it really annoys me.
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05.19.13, 01:31 AM
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you annoy me. what goes around comes around.
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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I guess your kids consistenly behave like little shits.
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05.19.13, 01:36 AM
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Reading comp.
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05.19.13, 01:37 AM
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NP it happens, regardless of how consistent you are. Key is that it doesn't happen every freaking day, but it is out if the norm behavior :)
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05.19.13, 01:31 AM
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Don't take it personally. She's full of sh*t.
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05.19.13, 01:38 AM
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np: I think it was the "you probably called my children extraordinary today" comment that pushed me over the edge.
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05.19.13, 01:49 AM
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OP here, someone actually said this.
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05.19.13, 01:46 AM
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Quite a few people say things like this, IME. I think because the expected standard of behavior for DC is sadly low and if they sit next to your DC in a restaurant and they don't scream and throw food, that's impressive. The rest of us just don't take these "compliments" quite as seriously as you do.
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05.19.13, 01:57 AM
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I agree with you, OP. I am enjoying watching all the defensive responses!
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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Me too!
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05.19.13, 01:44 AM
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Please, it's not hard to generate defensive responses on this board.
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05.19.13, 01:50 AM
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Yes, but these are clearly from people lacking in the parenting department. Love it.
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05.19.13, 01:52 AM
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This x a million
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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They are people who have great polite well behaved kids who didn't have to behave like Hitler to get there.
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05.19.13, 01:59 AM
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of course! nearly every post has them. I just enjoy watching other mothers' insecurities present themselves in that ridiculous way only anonymity can.
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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Me too - it is insane how transparent they are.
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05.19.13, 02:00 AM
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I'm a little shocked(OP here). Sheesh.
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05.19.13, 01:51 AM
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OR -I personally find this whole thread pretty validating, and think you should too!
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05.19.13, 02:00 AM
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I don't see much defensiveness. More like amusement.
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05.19.13, 01:46 AM
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It's like when Obama says kids are supposed to graduate from the eight grade. Kids are also supposed to chew with their mouths shut and not beat up their friends. Let's set the baseline for self-congratulation a *bit* higher.
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05.19.13, 02:12 AM
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oh go away? i bet you'l be lining up to graduate with them as you've worked soo hard to get them to study well - its not just them. smug and self righteous much?
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05.19.13, 01:48 AM
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Ouch, I guess you didn't do so well with yours :(
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05.19.13, 01:44 AM
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au contraire. they're great and i enjoy receiiving compliments on their behaviour also. but i actuall believe kids DO have their own personalities and temperaments and not everything they do is a reflection or extension of yourself and your awesome hard working parenting skills.
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05.19.13, 02:03 AM
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Nah, I'm pretty sure they behave like little shits like their mother.
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05.19.13, 02:23 AM
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whatever makes you feel better babe
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05.19.13, 02:39 AM
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As long as I don't have to sit next to your little animals
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05.19.13, 02:40 AM
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as if you' be so lucky though dreams are free.
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05.19.13, 02:44 AM
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And what will you be doing with your brats?
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05.19.13, 01:45 AM
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Mostly, you are just lucky you ended up with kids with similar natural behaviors. I have one incredibly well-behaved dc, awesome sleeper, good eater. One angel behavior at school/hellion at home, poor sleeper, fair eater. One anger at school/medium at home, fair sleeper, poor eater. Same parents, same rules, same consistency but lots of differences. I neither blame nor congratulate myself too much.
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05.19.13, 02:02 AM
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I'll take a wild guess at what religion OP is. Or maybe isn't.
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05.19.13, 02:01 AM
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05.19.13, 01:13 AM
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I'm not, but re-post w/NY Schools checked off, and you might get more responses. A lot of nice DC from our UES Gen Ed are headed there this fall. It's a great school.
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05.19.13, 05:54 AM
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05.19.13, 01:09 AM
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Totally.
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05.19.13, 01:10 AM
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I agree. The fact that I am an amazing mom has not that much to do with my SAH v WOH status as much as the fact that I am just great at parenting.
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05.19.13, 01:11 AM
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yes
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05.19.13, 01:06 AM
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I must not have gone to as high calibre school as the rest of you as this was not covered until Psych 102 for me
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05.19.13, 01:14 AM
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The only people who count in the "How Good am I as a WOHM Contest" are my own children. And my high school and junior high school sons adore me.
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05.19.13, 01:10 AM
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Sometimes I have to reply to people who say dumb stuff. There are those of us who are reading every bit of scientific info about child rearing and then there are those who say such nonsense as, "Well, my generation survived," or "My instincts are good enough."
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05.19.13, 01:12 AM
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You realize 99% of "scientific info about child rearing" is total crap, right?
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05.19.13, 01:21 AM
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I agree completely. And I hereby validate your psychoanalysis.
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05.19.13, 01:19 AM
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You sound too reasonable and level-headed to be here. :)
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05.19.13, 01:19 AM
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Eh. I think the anonymity changes things
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05.19.13, 01:19 AM
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Of course.
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05.19.13, 01:16 AM
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+1
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05.19.13, 01:30 AM
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agree. I only post child questions when I doubt my choice. I never engage in the sah vs woh because I'm confident in my choice. I only engage on topics with factual inaccuracies or true opinion (not masquerading as fact).
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05.19.13, 01:29 AM
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05.19.13, 01:00 AM
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don't have personal experience, but I have only heard good things. one friend did get pg though, an oops about 8 years after
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05.19.13, 01:08 AM
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Hmmm. Thanks. In 8 years I will be 46 so hopefully chances would be really small by then...
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05.19.13, 01:09 AM
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17 years ago. All good. Really improved our sex life.
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05.19.13, 01:04 AM
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Thanks! Did your DH voice any regrets after the fact?
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05.19.13, 01:12 AM
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Never
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05.19.13, 02:34 AM
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there is some research about an increased cancer risk so I discouraged dh. kind of regret that though.
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05.19.13, 01:06 AM
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Procedure was not traumatic, but my husband was surprised that he experienced low level discomfort for six months after. Totally fine now.
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05.19.13, 01:06 AM
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Good to know. Thanks. Was the discomfort following the procedure following sex? Or all the time?
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05.19.13, 01:15 AM
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DH said there was some different kind of feeling for him after - it must have hurt a little as he always asked me to "kiss the boo-boo"
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05.19.13, 01:15 AM
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My DH had one after our third baby. It's been wonderful. He took his percocet, had a beer and put a bag of frozen peas on his nuts for two days. That was all.
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05.19.13, 01:33 AM
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mine definitely had a hard time making the decision - knew rationally that it made sense for various reasons but felt emotionally that he might be less of a man, closing off any possibility of more kids was a step towards the grave, the procedure would be humiliating. he did HATE the procedure itself but couldn't wait to get back in the saddle afterwards and everything has been smooth sailing ever since. No issues with pain and a huge plus for our sex life.
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05.19.13, 01:30 AM
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ex husband used vasectomy as an excuse to not take his daughter for an entire summer. I imagined he had some horrible complication, but maybe that was just my wish for him.
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05.19.13, 01:59 AM
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Make sure DH does his follow up visit. My little brother is here to tell you a follow up analysis is necessary.
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05.19.13, 02:06 AM
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05.19.13, 12:53 AM
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Me too. In general.
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05.19.13, 12:49 AM
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Aww... we have a sahd and I'm a pretty good mom too!
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05.19.13, 12:50 AM
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doubt op thinks this, it's just a copy cat of the one posted below. There are good moms on both sides of this debate and some shit ones too!
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05.19.13, 12:51 AM
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I think dads are better parents than moms. Moms are so freaking psycho and angry!
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05.19.13, 12:57 AM
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IDA.
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05.19.13, 12:58 AM
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^^^clarification, IDA on both accounts
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05.19.13, 12:52 AM
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Omg, has anyone seen that commercial with the two little girls talking about how a bear used to live with them, and then the bear turns out to be the mom? I think it's a mattress commercial b/c the bear was the mom after a bad night's sleep. Hilarious, this made me think of it.
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05.19.13, 01:01 AM
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I saw that. FWIW DH is a bear with a poor night's sleep too. i liked when the bear went to the soccer game:)
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05.19.13, 01:03 AM
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Awww. Aren't you the cutest. Apostrophes and everything. Or should I say apostrophe's.
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05.19.13, 12:59 AM
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Moms Mom's
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05.19.13, 12:59 AM
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Mom's Mom's
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05.19.13, 12:59 AM
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Or Mum-Mums. Still, a very cute post.
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05.19.13, 01:00 AM
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Mom's moms
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05.19.13, 01:00 AM
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Moms'
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05.19.13, 01:00 AM
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Lol!
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05.19.13, 12:56 AM
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Enough.
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05.19.13, 12:54 AM
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+1,000,000
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05.19.13, 01:01 AM
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Agreed.
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05.19.13, 12:56 AM
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I think good moms and crappy moms come in all varieties.
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05.19.13, 01:01 AM
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+1.
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05.19.13, 12:57 AM
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+2
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05.19.13, 01:13 AM
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Would you put so-called warfare moms in this group? They stay at home and don't work. Simply staying at home isn't enough. Some of the greatest moms I know are single, working moms. Why keep this false battle going? Such a waste of time.
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05.19.13, 12:56 AM
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They do risk their lives on the battlefield every day.
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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I don't. I'm a SAHM now with dc #2. I was a better mom to dc #1 when I was working. Now I'm just tired and impatient. I'm also not enjoying the moments like I did with the first one. That said, I am kind of glad I've stayed home with them this year.
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05.19.13, 01:24 AM
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I'd hate for my daughter to think her only job in life was to incubate and clean up after kids. After all, that's all she would have ever seen me do if I wasn't a WOHM.
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05.19.13, 01:28 AM
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So she wasn't important enough to waste your precious time on raising after you carried her and gave birth to right?! Yes, I'd hate for my daughter to think She was that important for me to want to take care of her myself. Oh the nerve.
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05.19.13, 01:47 AM
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05.19.13, 12:50 AM
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You'd make $25K a year and the people in that industry are the WORST.
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05.19.13, 12:52 AM
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This. I work in the industry, nothing fabulous or glam about it. Everyone is an a-hole and only the people that know how to play the games, kiss ass, etc make it to the top after several years of being treated like a bald headed step-child.
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05.19.13, 12:56 AM
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OP oh I know it's not glamorous, I just think it would have been awesome to have her as a mentor.
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05.19.13, 12:53 AM
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Agreed. I worked in the industry for a very short time while a took a break from finance and when I had the opportunity, I went RUNNING back to my prior career! Awful people and no money. Seriously met some of the dumbest, most shallow people in my life.
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05.19.13, 12:53 AM
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Yeah she probably wouldn't pay you and you'd be surrounded by 21 year old dumb wannabees.
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05.19.13, 12:54 AM
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valid point
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05.19.13, 12:53 AM
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valid point
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05.19.13, 12:53 AM
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??
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05.19.13, 12:57 AM
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CEO of People's Revolution, a fashion/lifestyle PR firm
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05.19.13, 12:54 AM
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Always thought Whitney was only one of those a hills girls with a work ethic.
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05.19.13, 01:01 AM
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SHE's HORRIBLE! She looks horrible, dresses even worse and is mean and rude to everyone - yuck! I couldn't think of a worse person to WANT to work for.
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05.19.13, 01:12 AM
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Actually, I've met her a few times and she is not horrible. She's very friendly.
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05.19.13, 01:24 AM
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Thanks. CA mom here.
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05.19.13, 03:13 AM
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05.19.13, 12:48 AM
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Not me. I am a SAHM and I'm the absolute most amazing mom. Ever.
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05.19.13, 12:43 AM
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+1
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05.19.13, 12:51 AM
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Don't know about most amazing, but I'm a pretty good mom who SAH.
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05.19.13, 12:47 AM
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Me too
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05.19.13, 01:16 AM
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This WOHM can correctly construct a plural noun.
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05.19.13, 12:49 AM
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Please let's not start this again.
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05.19.13, 12:44 AM
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Why? In what way?
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05.19.13, 12:44 AM
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Troll
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05.19.13, 12:44 AM
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THIS
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05.19.13, 12:51 AM
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I think u be a trolling.
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05.19.13, 12:50 AM
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Enough.
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05.19.13, 12:50 AM
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Nah.
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05.19.13, 12:45 AM
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But SAHMs have better punctuation.
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05.19.13, 12:45 AM
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I don't think it is a contest.
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05.19.13, 12:51 AM
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Who cares? We are all doing out best.
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05.19.13, 12:47 AM
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Ok enough of this today. Go away now please.
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05.19.13, 12:53 AM
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I know right?? It's exhausting.
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05.19.13, 12:55 AM
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Your use of mom after the acronym 'wohm' is redundant. If you make mistakes like that at work, you'll get fired, and then be one of the bad sahms.
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05.19.13, 12:49 AM
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Awww... we have a sahd and I'm a pretty good mom too!
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05.19.13, 12:50 AM
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05.19.13, 12:31 AM
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I'd do it at your home. People are always happy to be invited to anyone's apt. Don't compare your apt to others - just be your usual gracious self and enjoy.
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05.19.13, 12:28 AM
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Are they happy because it's unusual to be invited? It's sort of a novelty ?
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05.19.13, 12:32 AM
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I think so. So many events are in restaurants. Just put out the wine and some nibblies.
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05.19.13, 12:45 AM
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Throw in that towel, OP. Rent some extra chairs, move a few pieces out, serve some stiff drinks and bask in the admiration of your peers.
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05.19.13, 12:36 AM
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I think I"m going to have to. The other parents' apartments I've been in over the years are duplexes on Park Ave or CPW or townhouses on the UES. This family apartment is NOT going to even come close to that, I feel embarrassed I have to admit.
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05.19.13, 12:40 AM
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Just be a gracious hostess. No one really cares.
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05.19.13, 12:41 AM
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thanks
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05.19.13, 12:43 AM
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Drinks are essential. They'll all be fine.
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05.19.13, 12:44 AM
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your home sounds wonderful and way better than any restaurant. just invest in fresh flowers, a coat check thing, and super yummy food
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05.19.13, 12:38 AM
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I agree with others - 99% of people really enjoy a nice home party! Enjoy and serve lots of food!!
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05.19.13, 12:42 AM
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And drinks.
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05.19.13, 12:45 AM
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+1
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05.19.13, 12:57 AM
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Targeted fundraising things at our school are always done in very wealthy families' homes. Weird they put this on you. Also weird you've basically outed yourself to families at your school.
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05.19.13, 12:38 AM
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I can't possibly have outed myself. Too many schools in this great city of ours. And honestly, I don't care if you think you know who I am. So I'm on UB, I guess you are too!
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05.19.13, 12:46 AM
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OP could be loaded but just living in an apartment that needs to be renovated.
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05.19.13, 12:47 AM
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But..that's my whole point. People like you are going to come over and say ... why here?
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05.19.13, 12:47 AM
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Nothing weird here. OP is performing a needed service to the school and the parents. She's not fearful or ashamed. Learn from her.
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05.19.13, 12:42 AM
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LMAO. Yeah, really weird that she's not embarassed to out herself as one of the poors with "only" a classic 6.
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05.19.13, 12:50 AM
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This
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05.19.13, 02:04 AM
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Do it at your place but make sure it's clean as a whistle, no clutter and you have lovely, large and expensive-looking flowers here and there. Put out elegant-looking appetizers or whatevers, using your nice china.
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05.19.13, 12:48 AM
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Thanks. No clutter makes a huge difference. I have the kind of home that if I ever wanted to sell it and had it staged, I would change my mind and stay because it would look amazing without all the family clutter around. Legos, trophies, toys, books, newspapers, video consules, remote controls, on and on
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05.19.13, 12:54 AM
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Exactly. Stash all that stuff, tidy up bookshelves and make sure you have a clean closet or hanging rack for jackets and things that people may bring with them. Clean every mirror and glass/silver surface so that the place literally sparkles. Dim the lighting slightly and it'll be fine.
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05.19.13, 01:08 AM
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get someone else to have it at their house.
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05.19.13, 12:51 AM
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No, she should just jump in and do it. She'll feel great afterwards.
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05.19.13, 01:08 AM
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OP - You ladies motivated me.. I'm going for it! Plus, the house will look really good for awhile afterwards too.
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05.19.13, 01:18 AM
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