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[ - ] Moms who think it’s easy to find a job in this hot labor market. I am in my mid 40s. Used to be an I Banker, ivy degrees in Acctg and finance. Is there a recruiting co that could help me. I am looking for project or flex work. Where to start. Thx 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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^^ haven’t worked in 16 yrs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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robert half [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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Op: Thx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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and kelly services [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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maybe GloCap recruiters [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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Op: Would return to work programs at banks be possible? I worked at ML back in the day. But it has been many years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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yes! i know someone who got one of these and then quit! and her husband makes no money. and they had one kid in high school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:56 PM Flag
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Yes -- this would be my first stop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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yes, do that, but also contact recruiters. You want people working for you to get a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:15 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O the Ivy League buyer post. You guys are truly ridiculous. Few of the wealthiest people I know are in finance. One owns a multinational construction company. Another owns 30 jiffy lubes. After his fifth franchise he started buying the strip malls they anchor. Another like a previous poster mentioned worked for Nordstrom’s after HBS and is now heading a division of a major fashion house. Expand your horizons. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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where are you located? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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Funny comment about the Jiffy Lube--my husband and I always joke that it would have been a better path to NOT go to elite schools, MBAs and to buy car washes and dry cleaners. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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Yup! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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THIS. Just learn accounting at Pace undergrad and use the money you save to buy businesses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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+1000 Where do you think all the money the "brilliant" Ivy leaguers are skimming from comes from? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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There is a lot of linear thinking on UB. It shouldn't surprise me that there are so many unhappy people in the world because most of the time, life isn't a perfect line to a perfect end. What is perfection anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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Oh and another friend’s family owns MANY large liquor stores. They also purchased the real estate surrounding their stores. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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New Jersey? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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Nope New England. But the jiffy lube franchise owner is in CA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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is the HBS one a girl named B? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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But look we've proved there’s more than one successful HBS graduate in fashion not finance! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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yes i was going to say that too! ha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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Yeah HBS grads also founded Gilt Group [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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UB is really funny in this way. My relatives sold their Rust Belt machine tool business -- homes in St. Bart, Florida, Colorado, brother-in-law (art school graduate) does commercial real estate, also a multimillionaire, cousins run a family insurance agency, rolling in dough. The UB obsession with finance and Big Law (and the miserable lifestyles that seem to accompany these jobs) is puzzling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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easier to enter finance and law with no money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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yes but you know this is a unicorn , the family owned business worth millions. yes it exists but maybe its one in 100 who is as successful as yours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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I don’t know our local family hardware store was sold for millions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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Right. But I am sure for that success, there are 100 other small hardware stores in the country that are family owned who struggle with the evolution of technology and amazon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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It's actually a lot less than 1 in 100. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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My uncle owns an insurance company. So. Much. Money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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This is the problem with college admissions. People think the only path is HYP then IB/Big Law. If your only goal is Goldman or a Hedge Fund then yes it’s Ivy or bust. People need to see the whole world of opportunities that exist that don’t require and HYPSM degree. Everyone needs to just breath. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:22 PM Flag
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People want this because it is knowable. They know how to get there. There's an infrastructure. To get rich by buying Jiffy Lube franchises is an undefined, unique path. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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I think the other issue is our idea of wealth has been so incredibly distorted. My friend’s dad also owned a ton of franchises and is probably worth $30M. In today’s world of the of the uber wealthy that’s barely a blip on the radar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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THat person heading a division at a major fashion house is not getting extremely wealthy doing that- they are making a few hundred k. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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But she’s living a pretty fabulous life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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I'm not working in big law anymore and have no future of getting extremely wealthy, but I'm happy doing what I'm doing. Not everything is about getting rich. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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I agree with this (former big law person here too!), but the OP's point seemed to be that the "wealthiest people she knows" don't work in finance, and this person was listed. My point is simply that if this person is extremely wealthy (and certainly any wealthy than your middling investment banker), she's got other income streams. Fashion houses do not pay the big bucks as a general rule, and certainly not to the non-creatives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:15 PM Flag
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So? Maybe they are HAPPY. Look it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:44 PM Flag
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True. But for many of us “getting extremely wealthy” is not actually the #1 consideration when making career choices . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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Sure. Some people care about money more than prestige/respect/intellectual development. Some people prefer more intellectual jobs, they like being around a talented peer group and aren't motivated only by the dollar. Other people like glitz/glamour/art/performance. But guess what, Ivy League buyer's job is NONE of those things. That's why it's objectively not a desirable job, and not one that people with lots of choices will generally opt for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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This is so true! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Have you ever asked a WOHM to borrow her nanny for date night, etc? I'm a SAHM. Wondering the etiquette. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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sitter city.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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You need to ask for babysitter recs. If she offers her nanny then that is one thing but maybe she offers other part time sitters to help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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op: so is it considered rude to ask? I've spent time with her nanny on playdates and like her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:08 PM Flag
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she is not your nanny.. dont be thick [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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yes it is rude to ask specifically for that. you can ask for recs and see what she says. but the nanny already has a full time job and I doubt she would be cool w that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:12 PM Flag
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A WOHM doesn't own her nanny, you are not "borrowing" anyone. Her nanny is an employee who can do whatever she wants outside of her scheduled working hours, including working other jobs. If you want to ask the nanny if she'd like to earn some extra money babysitting for you, it's the nanny's right to say yes or no. If she has a prior commitment to be working for her primary employer, she can decline. If she wants the money, she can say yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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op: I am somewhat friendly with the mom, so would it be rude to go straight to the nanny? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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It would be rude to treat the nanny like a piece of chattel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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This!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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if a friend of mine went straight to my nanny to ask this, I would think that is strange that she didnt come to me first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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Why? You are an employer. I would find it astounding if another employer came to me to ask permission to ask to hire one of my employees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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if you are friends w this person then they shouldnt try to hire your employee or even borrow your employee w out discussing w you first [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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You don’t own them. You have contracted for certain hours. It’s none of your business what she does at the end of her work day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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Friendship is irrelevant to the rights of the employee. And yes, when DC was little, I had a full-time nanny, in addition to the 8 direct reports in my office. As long as someone showed up to work on time and in condition to work (not hungover), what they did on their own time was none of my damn business. Yes, I had colleagues hire people away from me. If they were willing & able to pay them more than what I paid or offer them different/better opportunities, our friendship was irrelevant. The employees had every right to do what was best for themselves and I never took it personally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:49 PM Flag
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That was my first feeling about this. The nanny is not chattel to be loaned out. If I were the nanny I’d be furious at this discussion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:47 PM Flag
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When I nannied, protocol would be for the borrower to ask my employer first, who would come to me. And if I already had plans, that was respected. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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That is bs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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It is very arguably a violation of the antitrust laws for one employer to speak to another employer about the possibility of hiring that employer's employee! Or, at least, it could give rise to an antitrust violation (which is why it is very frowned upon). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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This. So many people think that treating a nanny "like family" means that they don't also have to respect their rights as employees - including the right to be offered and accept another job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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what? antitrust has nothing to do with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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Depends on the relationship I have with the other mom. If I didn’t know her I would ask nanny directly if she ever did evening babysitting gigs. If I did have a friendship with mom would say something like “I really like your nanny was thinking of seeing if she’s ever interested in an evening job does that feel fine to you?” Or something like that. I don’t think it’s a requirement at all, nannies are are independent contractors and can do what they want with their own time. Just to be transparent in a friendship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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So if the mom says it doesn't feel fine, would you still ask the nanny? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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np- to me, if I asked the mom ahead of time, it would mean I'd stick by what she said. If I was going to ask the nanny anyways I'd give the mom a kind of heads up about it ("I just wanted to let you know I asked Karen to babysit for our kids on Saturday night, if she mentions it. I swear I'm not trying to steal her from you! Just really like her and wanted to use her for our date night since she said it didn't conflict with her job with you") but I wouldn't ask permission. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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Yeah that’s the risk I guess. If she was weird about it and I valued the friendship probably not, plenty of other babysitters out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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NP: Was just going to write exact thoughts as OR, and no, if my says no I would NOT ask nanny. FYI, for one-off sitting there are so many good candidates--you don't need to focus/obsess on this one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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Ask the mom, don't go directly to the nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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Agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it really worth it to do an all inclusive. Traveling with two DC's. Ages 12 and 15 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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sure if they like to eat ...My DH likes to eat all 3 meals and he also will he drinks starting at 4 pm by the pool, then a couple of drinks at dinner, so for us its worth it. if i were traveling with girlfriends alone, probably wouldnt do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] America needs to come around and give new mothers a year of maternity leave. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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I would lose my mind lol. But do agree we need better family leave policies (though not just maternity) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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People always say this. I assure you you wouldn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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I was home not by choice and basically did lose my mind. Fortunately had a lot of family help by the second half (we moved) and that enabled me to make it through until I found employment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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I don't see a full year as realistic in my field (medicine). However, just a few years ago I had to take unpaid leave (I took 12 weeks for both kids). I've since moved jobs, and my current employer offers 12 weeks paid leave. Seems like a dream, comparatively! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:40 PM Flag
[ - ] My nephew is pre-diabetic. His parents are completely broke. If he needs insulin in a year, what will happen if they cant afford it? Ive been reading about skyrocketing insulin costs. Is there any work-around? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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Medicaid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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OP: is it free with medicaid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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There’ll be a copay. But he also needs to qualify financially. If he’s a minor, his parents will need to qualify. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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If you have medicaid, yes, all of your kids medical care is free. But you have to qualify. If she is "poor" like makes 100k a year poor, then of course she will not qualify. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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much cheaper to diet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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You do realize a lot of diabetes is not related to weight, right? Esp. in children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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You’re ignorance is astounding. Very few diabetics are going to be managed by diet alone. And a type 1 diabetic not at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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Move to a first-world country with universal health care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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MODERATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:09 PM Flag
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Thought police have arrived [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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he can still work on prevention if he's at pre-diabetic stage. i know UB hates Ketogenic diets but they do work (it was designed specifically for diabetes) -- he can start with keto to push blood sugar down quick, then switch to mediterranean diet with exercise since keto isnt' really good long term. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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OP the parents give him ranch dressing to dip his pizza in. They don’t care about his diet. I’m scared he won’t survive if they can’t afford insulin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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Ranch is actually not so bad for diabetic s [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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dipping pizza in ranch dressing is not so bad for diabetics? lmao [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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How carb heavy is ranch dressing? Ask yourself that first [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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ranch dressing is full of sugar. its not a good option for anyone with a weight problem. jfc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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If you can afford it, pay to get him signed up for a beginner exercise program and the YMCA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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Oh you've talked about them before I remember you. FWIW, most ranch dressing doesn't have a lot of sugar/carbs in it so it's not a big deal for diabetes, so if you don't know much about diabetes don't start giving them advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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How about finding him a diabetes education program and going with him. Maybe if he starts to understand the consequences and how he could change this he can modify his behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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He can make lifestyle and diet changed to treat his prediabetes. To hopefully prevent his need for meds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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If prevention doesn't work, there are patient assistance programs offered through drug companies. He may also qualify for Medicaid in his state. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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OP: Its really sad. parents dont monitor what he eats and his habits are out of control. Nothing i can do. I just worry that he's screwed when the inevitable happens [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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Diet change and exercise is his best bet here, no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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read reply above your reply [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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Prediabetes implies the patient does not suffer from type 1 diabetes (an autoimmune condition). Many prediabetics can control their disease with diet and lifestyle change, but even if not, I'm not sure insulin is first line medication therapy. I see many type 2 diabetics on oral medications. Still, that doesn't speak to your underlying broader concern about the state of medicine and medical coverage in this country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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This post is more about the state of public health in America, not the state of health insurance. We have the highest rates of obesity and diabetes in the developed world, because poor people are strongly incentivized to eat fast food (most calories per $). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:18 PM Flag
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you just killed my thread. ugh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Trevor Day vs Hewitt vs Marymount for 9th grade DD coming from progressive k-8? We are not religious at all. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Marymount. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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T is co-ed; if you want SS then M is considered better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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M but i really think the HOS atHewitt is great. Really dynamic and smart ( Princeton professor) and all about the girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:40 PM Flag
[ - ] How is there still no news about the NYC High School admissions date? I have google alerts set, have been compulsively checking message boards and twitter - and nothing! Doesn't somebody somewhere have to know when we'll find out about specialized high schools??!! March is just a few days away! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 02.21.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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do you live under a rock? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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OP does not live under a rock! There was news that the lawsuit re specialized high schools could delay notification to March 18 from March 4. But I haven't seen any updates recently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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OP here...thanks for defending me. Didn't realize my post would need defending. Sheesh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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More specifically, DOE said they would need the judge's decision by February 25 in order to be able to release the HS notifications by March 18. It's already getting close to that deadline, but I haven't heard any news about the case recently, and no new filings have been added to the docket since Feb 11. Has anybody heard anything? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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There never is. You find out when you find out. They announce it the week it is happening usually. Sometimes, just a day or two before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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And really, who cares. You will find out when you find out. Get a real problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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Some people have to decide between private offers, which come with making a deposit, and TBD public offers. So it's a real problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:54 PM Flag
[ - ] My life goal is to be a SAHM after my dcs move out. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:43 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:43 PM Flag
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I'm confused. You have been a wohm while they are living at home and when they go away to college you want to become a housewife? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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Pretty much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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Fellow WOHM. Sounds like paradise! I am in!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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Haha. We could even get a nanny to take care of us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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It's termed personal assistant, ha ha (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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We can call her (or him) that, sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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also known as retirement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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yup. This is the definition of retirement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking at purchasing a coop in NYC. Assume 50% of the building has terraces, if there is major repair work that needs to be done solely to the terraces, do all the coop owners have to pay for this or just the owners of those apartments with terraces? I assume everyone pays. While I will look into how this particular coop handled, I'm just curious if there are differences. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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good point. usually assessments are determined by shares. a terrace apt likely is worth more shares, and they will pay a higher percentage. I understand though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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good point. usually assessments are determined by shares. a terrace apt likely is worth more shares, and they will pay a higher percentage. I understand though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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I am in this exact situation as a non- terrace owner and it is being very hotly debated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 07:22 PM Flag
[ - ] How much are you paying for your Summer rental ? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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"Where do you summer?" -- Phoebe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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by a lake in the midwest $1500/wk for 2 bedroms with 3 beds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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thats not as cheap as I would think it would be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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Tell me about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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$20k/week South Hampton [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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South of the highway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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What are you Ramona?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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np there are plenty of houses north of the highway for 20k and up per week during summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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I read this as 20 dollars a week and i was like.... can i come? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I was home sick for a couple days and discovered the show "Love after Lockup". OMG, it was so bad it's good. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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If you like Love After Lockup you might also enjoy 90 Day Fiancé [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here has / had a kid who received CPSE services and has sensory issues? Mine does, has a late fall birthday, and we are in hell. Here are our choices - 1) ICT which she cant handle because of class size 2) keep her in her current pre-school another year and be forced into 1st grade if we have to go public 3) no special ed schools will take her because she doesnt have ASD / language disabiliites 4) no mainstream private will take a kid who had CPSE services 5) find a 20th tier private school and spend $50K we barely have for small class size 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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My dc with sensory issues did well in a charter school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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which one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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I did, but this was a decade ago, but DC had a late Spring b-day. I know it's tough. We did an extra year of nursery school and then private (which wasn't a good experience). Looking back, I think it was the right thing to do. DC needed an extra year to mature and is still considered, as a teen, to still be a little immature. Nothing to get kicked out of school, but more skating by on a good memory instead or doing homework properly. Good luck, I know it's stressful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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there doesnt seem to be any place for her at all, anywhere. ive talked to / toured 25 schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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Have you tried smaller schools that go K-5, like Alexander Robertson (I think that's the name)? Otherwise, there may be smaller schools in northern NJ, although some of those tend to be very academic. The reverse commute isn't too bad, depending on where you live and they may have buses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:09 PM Flag
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Didn't you write about this before? My vote was for a preschool with a "K" class. Small, with individual attention, they can work to prepare her for 1st if that's where she ends up instead of another year of K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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I can sue the city to have her SEIT services continue. It will be questionable because she's improved so much. Should I do this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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is it possible for her to go without them given the improvement and the small class size? If you really think she needs them, then yes, sue and you will get pendency. Will the SEIT agency help you do this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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No one knows, that's the problem. Our SEIT basically told me that she doesnt think she can testify to her needed a SEIT again, our OT disagrees. She's improved so much in just 6 months. If I sue, the case will probably go to hearing because it's so borderline. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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but you don't need to win the case to "win." when you sue, it take months and months to go to a hearing, and during that time it will be ordered that her services continue. So say it takes six months to go hearing, and at hearing you lose. During that six months, she'll still have gotten services, which hopefully will be enough for even more improvement and she'll be able to get by without it after? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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I am afraid we'll be in the same situation in a few years. Is there anything you would have done differently looking back? Our daughter receives EI, has an early Spring birthday and we're not sure if she will fit into a Gen Ed school or not. Also no ASD or language based disabilities. I think considering a pre-school with a K could be a good way to go. Not sure your location but maybe Weekday School up by Columbia. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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the weekday school K class is great. My DC went there a few years ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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I went there over 30 years ago and turned out great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:13 PM Flag
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Every kid is so different it's impossible to offer any advice. What I would recommend is not relying on EI / CPSE evaluations - they are worthless. Go to Dr. Jennifer Cross, a developmental pediatrician. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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She is our doctor! Good to have reassurance that we're in good hands :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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ICT class. There are 2 teachers (one special ed), plus however many aides are needed. They keep strict ratio of SN kids. If money is tight, use the money saved from sending her to public to add in private sessions after school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:32 PM Flag
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Yes, my daughter has a summer bday and had sensory issues with services and a SEIT in preschool. She did not have ASD or any diagnosed learning disabilities at the time and was ahead in all milestones/reading/writing etc. Her sensory issues caused behavoral issues such as lack of focus/overstimulated - basically she had ADHD but was too young to diagnose. She went to an ICT K class - I never thought about private school because of the $. Her public school never has more than 25 kids and there were 2 teachers (one with a special ed cert)- while not ideal, it was fine. Yes, a smaller class size would have been better, but because she didn't also have a learning disability, she was fine (at least until 3rd grade when academics got hard and then she needed meds to really stay focused). My daughter is in 6th grade now. Looking back, the kids that have a more extreme issues (ADHD with some kind of other issue or academic learning disability such as a processing disorder) really had a hard time with the size of the public school class - my daughter was more moderate and just has ADHD. Again while not ideal, she was fine. The 2nd teacher makes a big difference. Had her class size been 32 though, not sure it would have worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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Some private schools that could be good at Birch or Dwight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:00 PM Flag
[ - ] This is likely the dumbest thing anyone will post all day, but I have to get it out of my system. DD, 5 has the flu. Last night she and I fell asleep early, in mine and DH's bed, snuggled up under the comforter from her bed and on top of the comforter on our bed. DH claims that he tried to wake us up and asked for her comforter, but I wouldn't give it to him. I have no memory of this. He then fell asleep on DD's bed without a blanket. This morning he was furious with me because he didn't have a blanket and was cold. I pointed out that there are numerous blankets in the house, including several stored to overflowing in a large basket in the living room. He replied "I didn't want to spend time finding a blanket, I wanted that one". His response says it all, there were plenty of blankets available and he chose not to find one and now he is angry with me. This is his mindset generally, everything that irritates him is someone else's fault. Is it crazy that this feels like the last straw for me in whether I want to stay with DH? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Not crazy at all. What kind of father doesn't get that his 5-year-old with the flu is the priority here. He can get his own damn blanket. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, and that sounds awful. Whenever I read posts on here, it always makes me feel better about my marriage and my DH. I truly feel like the little things are important, and that may seem like something small, but if that's how he acts on a consistent basis, I couldn't stay with someone like that. That kind of thing has happened before and my DH has either gone to sleep on the couch, or has moved us over and grabbed another blanket and then jokingingly said that we hogged the blanket. It just wouldn't be a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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+1 Anybody who feels blah about their marriage should just spend 5 minutes scrolling UB for a gratitude check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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He sounds like an asshole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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He’s being a total baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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I’m just going to point out you are both tired and dealing with a sick child. It’s not the right time or frame of mind to think about this. I’ll agree though That a lot of men seem cranky and difficult way too often. And helpless. I think this is what’s called taking your partner for granted. Maybe you need to talk with him when you’re both feeling better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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He’s unreasonable and petty. He’s sounds like a guy who only cares about his needs. And if his needs are met then he isn’t happy, therefore he’s going to make sure no one is going to be happy either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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Omg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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sort of crazy that it is your last straw, but I will say i am divorced and this story made me happy that I don't have to deal with this man-baby stuff on a daily basis, let alone when I am caring for a sick child. for the posters who say scrolling here makes them feel better about their marriage, I hear you, but it also makes me feel ok about not being in a relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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Who is this person Lets shame him on FB> What a jerk! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:47 PM Flag
[ - ] An attorney that we (spouses) had together dropped me as a client (no explanation why) but kept my spouse. How do I obtain a copy of my file including any documents (and documents in progress) including those that may be in the best interest of my spouse for me not to have? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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They have to give you a copy of the file. Call and request it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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If you're in New York, as long as you've paid your fees, the attorney is obligated to make a copy of your file and turn it over to you. If your file involves other parties on issues not relevant to you, then those can be withheld. You need to request it from the attorney/firm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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Not entirely true. She may not have a right to the entire file, like internal work product and internal attorney impressions and notes, etc. Also, you are right that whether she has paid the fees is critical. If there are any unpaid fees, including disputed fees, the attorney/law firm has a "retaining lien" on the file whereby they can keep the file until you pay. However, attorneys should give the client any files that could negatively impact the former client's ability to advance the case forward. I just dealt with this issue myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:50 PM Flag
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Op - everything is paid. I’m sure there’s a fee to send me my file too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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Can I should I ask for internal files? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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Ask for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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Get your own attorney. Advise her of the situation. Have her help you protect all personal and family assets. Have her ask the other attorney for your files. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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All she wants is the file. All she has to do is ask. Attorney is obligated to give it to her. End of story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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Sure, but the way she wrote the post indicates she has been unable to get information from the attorney or the husband, which sends up red flags. There is something going on that the attorney and the husband do not want to disclose to OP. She lost her attorney and is at an information disadvantage. She needs an attorney. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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Where in her post is there an indication that the attorney has refused? Just because she was dropped does not indicate that the attorney has refused to hand over the file. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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It's possible she hasn't even asked the attorney. But you are being wilfully obtuse in asserting this situation is "end of story". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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I'm not being obtuse, but the question was: how do I get the file. You had her hiring attorneys, protecting assets, the whole barn. Stick with the question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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You're being obtuse. Deliberately and wilfully. You would rather be "right" than be helpful to OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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Op - exactly how do I get my file? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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OP - You're correct I haven't asked yet because I want to be careful about the language I use because what I would write - "Please provide a digital copy of my file including any documents, supporting documents, and documents in progress." Does that CMA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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Ask your attorney. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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OP - This attorney is not cooperative. He hasn't returned any of my phone calls in months. He takes days to reply to an email. The last email I have from him is that I need to put in writing that spouse is also his client and that he can talk to him about anything too. Immediately after that email - within an hour - I got an email from my spouse saying that attorney called him on the phone, and that I should hire my own counsel becuase he isn't working with me anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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Okay, that's a different story then. Keep a record of all calls and correspondence. If no response, you may have to resort to a court order (at which time you may want to hire an attorney to handle). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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He can't jointly rep you and DH, then drop you and continue repping DH, and refuse to give you your files. That violates several ethical rules and could get him in big trouble. At the least, he has to stop repping DH in anything that would be adverse to you. I would send him a letter or e-mail, copying DH, and tell him all this. Or better yet, get your own lawyer and have that person put him on notice of the ethical violations (because there are several here) and tell him that if he doesn't turn over the files and withdraw from any representation of DH adverse to you, the attorney will report him to the disciplinary committee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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Where are the ethical violations relating to handing over the file? She has indicated that she has asked for them yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:43 PM Flag
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^^hasn't indicated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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+1 Get your own lawyer and get real legal advice from a person who puts their name to it. Do not take legal advice from random anonymous trolls on the internet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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When OP decided to give more info, I responded accordingly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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Says the random anonymous troll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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The question about the file was easy, and doesn't really require a lawyer. But the more concerning aspect is that the lawyer is repping the DH in a matter that may now be adverse to the OP. That's the bigger issue that a lawyer should've been able to spot and add value--in order to tackle that she will likely want a lawyer herself to make these assertions to scare the other lawyer into compliance with the ethical rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:31 PM Flag
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what type of matter is this? did you have a business together or something? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:50 PM Flag
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Immigration. But spouse uses for business, will, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:15 PM Flag
[ - ] If you are an alumni and have written a recommendation letter for someone will the university send you a letter of acknowledgement and thanks? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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Probably not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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Some advice: it's not "alumni," it's "alumnus" or "alumna." Alumni is plural. If it's all women, then use "alumnae." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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Or don't use a sexist dead language and just say "graduates". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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Many living language (especially in Europe) are "sexist" then. Did you not know that? It's not the "sexist" part that's the problem here...maybe you have a point with the "dead" part but Latin permeates English, and any educated person would know that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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Yes, they are sexist. And English has dropped the gendered parts of Latin. Which we all appreciate. The European and other languages that still separate men and women, and even lump women under masculine groups while never doing the same to men, are sexist and support sexist thought processes. There is no need for the Latin word here when we have a perfectly good, non-gendered and non-gender-biased, English word. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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LOL, good luck in your quest to eradicate Latin from English, as well as your campaign against European languages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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Good luck in your campaign to support them just so you can anonymously lecture people about grammar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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Not a lecture, my response was an attempt to be helpful. If someone were to write "alumni" to refer to him or herself, that person would not come off well in my opinion. Hopefully, the OP reads this and improves so that when she writes in real life, she won't make that mistake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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There is no Latin in the English language. There are some Latin roots and some Latin words that have been borrowed and anglicized. You don't know what you're talking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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Your second sentence contradicts your first. And not every word has been thoroughly "anglicized." Rethink this, and try again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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+1 First, "alumni" has become acceptable in ENGLISH to be singular or plural and non-gendered, just like they/their/theirs. Second, yes, we have an English word - we can use that and bypass the whole thing! No petty grammar fascists needed! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:50 PM Flag
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Acceptable by whom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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I echo the other response to this post--acceptable to whom? The OP made an error, and it's not "acceptable." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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doubt it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:36 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O Another college topic. It’s saddens me how much pressure there is on kids trying to go to a top school to have a “singular passion.” They’re teenagers, they barely know who they are in the world yet, they SHOULD trying different things to help them grow and develop not starting simethng at age 8 and just sticking with it for 10 years so they can get a bunch of awards to help them get into college. And yes I know there are kids out there who really do you know that one thing they love from early age but I don’t think it’s the majority and I don’t think it’s healthy. I kind of worry about the mental health and happiness of a lot of kids who do end up making it to the tippy top schools. 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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Yes it’s unhealrhy and we’re all buying into this “ industry” but who wants to be the first not to do it? There’s talk that any college education is not worth the cost and some people are better off financially if they persue a trade. But who’s going to be the first to jump off the college track? I won’t do that to my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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No I agree. And I’ve got a junior who has done very well for herself and will certainly be a contender at some good/competitive schools. But as I’ve watched her over the years I see that the best parts of her growing up have been when she has allowed herself to try something new and grow from it, sometimes that has led to some real success and other times not so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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We effectively did, but it wasn't really our choice. DDs started a business in high school building websites for small businesses. They ended up making enough money part time that older DD decided to delay college two years to run the business full time. Now younger DD is planning to do the same when she graduates from high school this spring, and they'll run the business together. Older DD has take a few courses at a community college to learn how to run a business. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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That is super cool they sound like great kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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Great for them. : ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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We told dd if she had figured out her path after high school and started solid ground work for it, she didn’t need to go to college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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Are you worried about all kids? Or are you just worried that this puts your kids at a disadvantage because they are in the majority who can't talk about a singular passion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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OP- all kids, see above and below. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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Sounds like sour grapes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:14 PM Flag
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It’s not, see above. My kid has done her own thing in her own way and has some pretty cool successes to show for it. She’ll be fine. But every time topic about college comes up on UB there is extensive discussion about kids having a passion and lots of accolades to show for it and I know that not all kids have that yet nor should they - developmentally that makes sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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so if your own child is fine, why do you believe other children to be fragile and unable? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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+1 "I have no evidence that this is a problem and in fact I have anecdotal evidence that it is not a problem at all. So I will whine about it on UB for my daily drama." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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Being willfully obtuse does not advance this discussion at all. I know a lot of teenagers and the pressure is that they are under just to get through the day, get all their work done, navigate social issues etc. is enormous. I just know very few who have really have grown up enough to develop “passions”. They are doing the developmental work of trying to make it to adulthood and that’s a big job. (I have a kid who of her own accord has found a few things she loves and is very good at, but I see that she’s actually a bit of an outlier in her peer group.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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I agree. Kids get the message their lives are going nowhere if they don’t excel by age 17. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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Did the mod just delete the post asking if smart but normal/non-passionate dcs can get into ivies? Where did it go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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OP - Wondering same I was actually going to put this as a response there but it’s gone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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I hadn't finished reading the responses! It was kind of heartening to know that it is not as cut and dried as people have been making it out to be. I wonder what happened. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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Yes, it's gone. I was watching that post and I saw someone start making comments about "white slots" and how it's others vs the whites. Nothing gets a post deleted around here more quickly than racist remarks. I think at least two other college discussions I was following got deleted for similar reasons. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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Why not just remove those comments though? There was so much good info on there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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My son is a 8th grade competitive tennis player. He is listed as a 5 star recruit right now which certainly puts him in line to be a recruited athlete. He wants to quit. He hates the other kids at tournaments, thinks they are all weird or all cheat. He is mad he has had to give up being on the debate team and the basketball team and wants to go out with is friends. He keeps saying he wants to try different things not give up every weekend to tournaments. So of course we are dialing it way back and just having him play for fun and a few tournaments right now. He is 100% right to want what he wants but I am having a really hard time with it because of college recruiting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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OP- I appreciate your honesty and also your willingness to listen to your son [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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Np - so interesting. DH and I are hyp grads, both academic physicians at hyp. I constantly struggle with holding back on tiger mom tendencies. All of DD11 teammates play on serious club teams but she still enjoys other activities so we have held back. I try to keep my eye on the big picture - many of our colleagues have succeeded on grit and drive. Much is politics, EQ, ability to network. Hyp pedigree doesn’t hurt but it’s really more what life lessons you learn along the way that helps continue the trajectory. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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thanks for sharing. I have a DD who is younger but is showing great promise in ballet. There is a part of me that is excited because this could be her "hook" for college. I know it would be very hard not to discourage her from quitting if she wanted to, just because of the college thing. Which is sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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I knew several former professional dancers at Princeton in the 90s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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yeah, it's a good hook, but dance is hard. Should a kid keep doing it for the sake of college? Because it's not enough to be a great student these days, you have to be a great student + oboe player in national orchestra, great student + nationally ranked tennis player, great student + had own art show. It puts a lot of pressure on kids to find and continue with that hook, to the exclusion of exploring other interests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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+10000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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HS teacher here - all kids are just figuring things out. My school has an amazing internship program. I can't tell you how many kids say they want to be fashion designers or doctors. Then, get the ideal placement in a fashion showroom with designers or on the floor at a major NYC hospital and know that it's not for them. They like the idea of the thing but don't like the work that each profession does on the day to day and change it up often. My my ds's highly public competitive middle school in Manhattan I already see this with some kids- their parents pushing them to go famous and beyond in a specific thing like they're already working on their hook. All we can do is expose them to their interests and see what happens and notice when they're good at something and encourage it. This pushing will create early flame out big time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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OP - thank you for this perspective. Trying on lots of identities/ different skills and ways of being in the world is exactly what they should be doing which is my only point. This in contrast to the idea that to be successful kids have to be specializing in one thing before they turn double digits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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I think all kids have passions, they are just not adept at writing about them/communicating them on college essays. Colleges could be moved by an essay about how much your dc loves a videogame or sleeping if it was written in a clever and interesting way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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np. My kid wrote about a video game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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I don't think it is as bad as people on here would lead you to believe. Live your life, do what you're going to do and hopefully, your kid will end up where they should be. We won't know until April how this all works out. Dc has areas of major interest but has never attacked them in a way that would demonstrate passion like what others talk about. I'm a bit skeptical. No amount of passion is going to outweigh solid academics at what are supposed to be academic institutions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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Wanting to know about a kid's "true passion" always puts me in mind of a very very creepy Stephen King story, "Apt Pupil". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel like a complete grouch-- about 90% of the time, when people give me a gift it's not too my looking and I end up getting rid of it. I'm mostly a minimalist (not a ton of space), which is the root of it. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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sell it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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No you’re not. Tell people this. Ask them not to bring a gift or convey the name of your favorite charity. Some people want to bring a gift so they don’t seem like a moocher. They feel bad showing up empty handed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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I'm thinking about three specific people who really enjoy gift giving, if that makes sense. They asked, so you have XYZ 'as seen in TV item'. I told them no, I don't have it and I don't need it. Bam, next week they give me one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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Your under no obligation then. Toss or donate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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haha. this is me. i hate getting gifts. i dont want or need anything. a card is great and shows you care. anything else is just embarassing and i dont need it. Some comedian has a bit about this. He says his mother always gets him clothes and they are always just "wrong" in some way. The mom always says "i included the reciept you you can exchange it". The comedian said ' Great! you just gave me an ERRAND for my birthday". I just killed the joke, but thats how i feel. Its always some crap i dont need want and i feel bad they spent money on it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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Yeah, most of the people giving the gifts need the money more than I do. But maybe it's how to they justify spending [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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this reminds me of a faux-suede baggy "Members Only" style jacket that MIL bought DH from "Kohl's" in the midwest. We dont even have a Kohl's here, but it came with a receipt to exchange. DH left it in the box, with the tissue paer, in our bedroom for a year, not knowing waht to do with it and feeling guilty. I eventually just donated it because it was taking over a chair and i was tired of looking at it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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My mil bought DH a jacket from the thrift store. There was a patch on the sleeve that said “SECURITY”. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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i feel evil about this, but atound holidays my mom grills all of us about what we want and we have to send her lists. It turns every holiday into this weird chore, where i not only have to shop for everyone else, i have top provide lists for her. I just go shop for peope. I dont demand that they tell me what to buy for them. I dont mean to be ungrateful, but its actually forcing me to shop for myself, and for DH to shop for himself when we all have to articulate exact;y what to buy for us. we dont even want anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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Souvenir gifts are the worst. I don’t want a t shirt or ceramic Knick knack from your trip. It’s instant clutter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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We live in an age where things are cheap, and social mores have not caught up yet. People still feel the need to give things to people who have everything. I have a family member who feels the need to give me something every time I see her. She's family, so you would think we could get over this, but no. It's like a compulsion. I need nothing that she gives me, it's such a waste of stuff and money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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Yes, my sil brings me a gift every time she comes over, and once yelled at me for not bring a gift when we went to a friend's for tea (ie, not even a meal). She then handed me an extra "emergency gift" so I wouldn't embarrass myself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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thanks to my SIL, I have a collection of like 20 wallets/coin purses/small bags/jewelry holders and 30 kitchen timers/specialty gadgets/salt and pepper shakers/tea towels, none of which I need or want. Instant clutter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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Is she Asian? My Chinese mother is always bringing stuff like this. So I understand the concept of instant clutter. Her thing is magnifying glasses, slippers, and magnets too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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No, but my MIL is like this too so it appear to be a passed down compulsion. It's like she followed every small gift suggestion for what to give a woman you do not know, but she's my SIL, she doesn't have to do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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Not to mention bad for the environment and a waste of resources when there are people out there who are truly needy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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I don't know what my problem is, but I get irrationally irritated by gifts as well. MIL gave me a very nice and "gadgety" magnifying mirror for Christmas and I get irritated every time I see it (DH won't let me dispose of it).Some women probably enjoy looking at their skin magnified x 1,000, but I do not. The last thing I want to see is my aging skin and resultant flaws magnified and lit up by the surface of the sun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.21.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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