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[ - ] Has anyone on this site ever done anything good for other people? I mean besides bitch about the lesser thans and hoff and scoff and give mean looks to anyone remotely threatening. Anyone? Anyone? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 09:31 AM Flag
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Of course. Not everyone on here is 100% evil. Some are 90%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 09:33 AM Flag
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ease up ok? Most here are at the busiest time in their lives. Once children are a bit older, jobs may be more manageable, or having reached retirement age, people are naturally inclined to help others out. BTDT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:23 PM Flag
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Hmm, take a deep breath and think back to the threads about best places for charitable donations, how to find volunteering opportunities, etc? I give probably more money than I should to City Harvest every year, to the point where they have some kind woman whose job includes writing me personal emails thanking me - and to several other charities, and also kiva.org because it's fun. Yesterday I tried to buy a homeless woman a cup of coffee but when we went together into the coffee shop, they wouldn't take my money and poured her a large hot cup and invited her to sit and stay for a spell. I don't write about this stuff on UB because UB is where I come to take my personal problems that I need to handle ANONYMOUSLY. People are better than you give them credit for, my friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 11:30 AM Flag
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(Admittedly I haven't volunteered regularly since DBs were born, but I have yet to find a place that will let me volunteer with them in tow.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 11:49 AM Flag
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Love Kiva. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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I thought I saw an article about kiva.org being a scam. Maybe it was another organization, but people thought they were donating to a worthy cause, and it was going to a bank that had supposedly once lent money to that person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 02:02 PM Flag
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everyone on this site is doing the best they possibly can for their families [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 11:45 AM Flag
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everyone on this site has done something good at some point, some do good every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:22 PM Flag
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I think some people have taken their time out to give me some excellent advice on a range of topics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Should my live-in nanny go home on the weekends? Didn't finish my post from before, but our live-out nanny will now be moving into our home to care for our 9 yr old & newborn son. She will have her own bedroom, w tv & cable plus her own private bathroom. She use to live in a one bedroom apartment with her parents and brother so is excited to move into her own space. Her hours would be Mon - Fri with the weekends off. This will be the first time someone other than son & hubby is living with me, and I am not sure ... is it okay to tell her she must go home on the weekends? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:12 AM Flag
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No.... You expect her to keep an apartment for weekends and trudge back and forth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:01 AM Flag
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This. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:27 AM Flag
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I think if you are clear on your expectations for the job upfront, she can make a better decision. Do you want her gone in weekends? I would so I would say so in interview. She may not have a place to go, so you could consider having her stay and babysit one block of time, eg sat nights, or leave for every other weekend etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:20 AM Flag
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I did not mean to imply I would have her out on the streets on the weekends. She would stay with her brother and parents in the apartment she lived in before she moved in with us. Just not use to sharing my space, and if she's not working (weekends) it would be awkward seeing her around the house just "hanging" out... cooking... playing with our child(ten)... not sure of how to set boundaries on her days off - after all can't banish her to her bedroom all weekend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:44 AM Flag
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From experience I can promise you she won't hang around on the weekends. If shes there with you and the kids, she will feel like she has to help with them. Having said that, if she were to want to, you'd have to allow it. But she won't. I've had two live ins and all our friends have them too. I know of none whose nannies are there past friday night 6 pm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 09:27 AM Flag
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This. They stay with friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:43 PM Flag
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If she is a live-in that is now her home. I think it's incredibly wrong to tell her she has to leave each weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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no it's not okay. this is her home now. if you want her to go somewhere else....she technically is not a live in and I think you would have to pay her premium to have this arrangement if you want it that way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:53 PM Flag
[ - ] How much pay for a live in nanny & should she go home I have DD who is 9 but am expecting another child. Our live out nanny will be moving into our home to help care for baby. She makes $650/week from 1-9pm everyday and because I go out of town frequently probably another $900/week in overtime. She will now have a huge bedroom complete w phone, tv & cable w her own private bathroom. My hubby will care for the baby in the a.m. until noon - I get our son ready at 6am myself and we are out the door by 7:15am. How much extra should she get as a live-in and now caring for the baby in addition to our 9 yr old. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 03.08.14, 07:10 AM Flag
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I think you are paying a lot for 45 hours of help a week. Also, why not have her work in am to make your and DH life easier? I am not morning person and would totally use live in help in early mornings! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:22 AM Flag
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You think $650 is too much for 45 hours a week... two years ago when I first hired her and posted the question of how much I should pay... everyone said less than $650 was being cruel :O) just didn't know how much more she should get for the baby especially since she was getting room and board. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:46 AM Flag
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Usually live ins take homes less than live outs. Adding another child doesnt necessarily mean a raise ( not where Im from anyway, but not in NYC). If shes now getting room and board and the same wages, thats an increase. I wouldnt give more on top of that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 09:15 AM Flag
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If the nanny is expected to care for the newborn at night, she should get baby nurse wages in addition to her work with the older child, in my opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:14 PM Flag
[ - ] I am done with this site. After all the out downs and drama tonight over being a waitress (and how I must be a dumb bimbo) I am just logging off. DARLINGS, I hope you have a nice empty life full of bitchiness and bitterness. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:56 AM Flag
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Waitress here and let it roll right off my back. This is UB. What do you expect? :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:28 AM Flag
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Don't let the door hit ya on the way out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:18 PM Flag
[ - ] http://aktiveamantiage.com/ 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:51 AM Flag
[ - ] http://aktiveamantiage.com/ 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:32 AM Flag
[ - ] DH and I are 44. Had perfect db at 42 after DH putting off getting married since we got serious at 36. He always wanted a large family but put it and getting married for years. I have some medical problems and work ft and make 50% of income and have the more stable career. I do the majority of the parenting/organizing/home stuff and don't want another child and more work and we really can't afford it (in my opinion.) Am I a selfish mother to want to put everything into this perfect child that we do have? I don't think another child will make us happier as we are all very happy now but will drain our energy and money and I don't see the reason. He is from family of 4 and is horrified to have an only child but we are happy. He says I am selfish and should go to repro doctor. WWYD? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:12 AM Flag
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44 is too old. You have like a 5% chance with ivf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:59 AM Flag
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op: I am way too old energy wise but I got pregnant on the first try at 41 and my uncle was born when grandmother was 48. I am late on puberty and from a fertile family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:32 AM Flag
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honestly, one more. seriously. the first is SO much harder than the second. and your child will be so much happier. watching my two children play together is one of the great joys of my life. it's worth it. signed, ft whom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 11:01 AM Flag
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Most of the post is about how he wanted this or that. He is selfish. He waited until end of fertility window and then is griping about not getting "his big family"?! He has a family, you and dc...he should start appreciating it and you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:15 AM Flag
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op: Thank you. He was lucky I was fertile when I was. I told him right after birth that if he wanted more he should research surrogates as I had emergency c-sect and was told to wait 1 year to be safe and I knew eggs would dry up and he was out of work and I went back at 6 weeks and certainly did not have time for that. I know he would try to blame it on me later though so I gave him the option and he never did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:16 AM Flag
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op: Thanks. I was ready to start at 36 but he was not. By 40 I assured him we could still have few kids because I figured I would do IVF and have twins but I got pregnant the month before the appointment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:20 AM Flag
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op: Sorry for long post. Also all our parents are elderly/ Alzeheimer's etc so we have to take care of them every weekend. I cannot risk bedrest as dc was emergency c-sect and I am very high risk and we need my income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:15 AM Flag
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He's not looking at this clearly. You are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:02 AM Flag
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op: Thank you. He is a sweet person and an affectionate father and DH but he comes from a very LMC family and doesn't understand realities of life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:23 AM Flag
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if he was so horrified, he would have started earlier [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:01 AM Flag
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op: No kidding. No one was good enough, including me until he realized his age and got desperate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:42 AM Flag
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This. If he'd really wanted a large family he'd have done life differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:43 PM Flag
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Your husband sounds awful. He's the one who put off marriage and he has to face the reality of his decision. Enjoy your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:02 AM Flag
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op: He is generally really sweet but to be called selfish because we are 44, not rich, and both working ft is really stupid. I'm not selfish, we have limited energy and means and have a perfect db that we can really invest our time into and enjoy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:26 AM Flag
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I would tell him to fuck off! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:12 AM Flag
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op: Thanks he has been so perfect lately I knew it was going to come up and I pretty much told him that it was his fault because it is and don't blame it on me. He zipped it pretty quickly but I know it will come up again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:46 AM Flag
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We are your age and enjoying our one, brilliant child! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:26 AM Flag
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op: Absolutely. We are so happy with our one and he is such a joy why bother for more when we don't have the money or the energy and we are old? It will not benefit anyone to have more. And DH does not have that much patience or energy or money anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:48 AM Flag
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Exactly our reasoning. With one DC you can do it. It's really possible without destroying your life. With two, you're cooked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:46 AM Flag
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op: Thank you. I knew this but was feeling guilty that I was taking away his dream/fantasy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:49 AM Flag
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You gave him his dream even if he does not acknowledge it...a healthy child is nothing to take for granted [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:08 AM Flag
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op: I agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:09 PM Flag
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+1. Hate to be so honest, but one DC was great, and two nearly broke our marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:20 AM Flag
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op: I agree. We are old, not rich and not high energy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:10 PM Flag
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wow you two need to be a team. I happen to agree with you tho. What is wrong with him? You are 42. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:24 PM Flag
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We are but a large family was his dream and we are already 44. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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Forget about DH''s preferences,... think about your DB. A sibling will not only be there to play, etc but later on life to help deal with taking care of elderly parents. Yes, you are right and DH is a chump for waiting this long but you went along with it and it takes two to tango so you can't blame him entirely. Just have a second DB and get it over with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:03 PM Flag
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I am an older mom with one dc, now a teen. I wish I had had another child to be a companion to dc. Unlike other posters, I think it takes a lot of energy to be a parent to an only child, and a sibling would have taken some of the responsibility offf my shoulders for helping her have a social [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:22 PM Flag
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...a social life. It has been lonely for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Sarah Jessica Parker, you should have said no to those shoes and that hair. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:56 AM Flag
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http://www.peoplestylewatch.com/people/stylewatch/gallery/0,,20793278,00.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:56 AM Flag
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very 80s, in a way i don't like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:15 AM Flag
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she is bow legged and horsey, outfit os OK [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 11:00 AM Flag
[ - ] I am the original waitress/married to a millionaire. Darlings, I raised a child on my own/supported my siblings since I was fourteen/and got a college degree. I would like to see any of the "multi generational" wealth/married to IB women make it past fifteen in my situation. I am sorry you don't understand that some women have to have low paying jobs. Get out of your bubble. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:36 AM Flag
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Ignore them. They have empty lives and need to fill their time putting others down while their DH are our having affairs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:38 AM Flag
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We"re not all like that, I promise :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:38 AM Flag
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you lost me at 'darlings'. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:16 AM Flag
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+1. And you sound super defensive. AND a millionaire is really not a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:45 AM Flag
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Of course I am defensive! I just listened to you blabber on about what a dumb useless person I am in several posts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 07:10 AM Flag
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Hmm... guess it hit a nerve, huh? Get over yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 01:20 PM Flag
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Yeah, I'm sure you would just love being put down like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 02:24 PM Flag
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Umm... I don't feel "put down" by rando anonymous posts on a message board. You sound incredibly narcissistic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 02:42 PM Flag
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great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 06:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Malaysia Air 370. Very sad. I hate news like this. :( 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:26 AM Flag
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Googling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:16 AM Flag
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It's tragic, but one has to keep in in perspective. More people died on roadways this week than died in this one air crash. (I suspect that as many people were murdered this week as died in the crash, but I digress.) But it's all of them dying at once that affects people, so it's understandable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:18 AM Flag
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I know. But still. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:39 AM Flag
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I get it. It's still scary, especially for people who hate flying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:26 AM Flag
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Sigh. Those events are not mutually exclusive. You can be sad about both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:48 AM Flag
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Yes, but people tend to obsess over air crashes while glossing over automobile crashes. You can feel however you want, but it's important for people to realize that that airline travel is much, much safer than getting into a car. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:53 AM Flag
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Did they locate it yet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:18 AM Flag
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No. Barely any news. Just speculations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:40 AM Flag
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I'm guessing over water? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:19 AM Flag
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Most likely, only 2 options. One over water east of Ho Chi Ming City. One west, inland. But if its inland there would be witness by now. I think they're missing over 6, 7 hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:27 AM Flag
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So scary. I feel so bad for their families. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:57 AM Flag
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They said there were also two babies on the flight. Sigh... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:57 AM Flag
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Fuck. Now I can't sleep. This sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.14, 05:43 AM Flag
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