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[ - ] DH and I started watching Game of Thrones last night. We watched first 2 episodes of season 1. It's okay, but I'm certainly not hooked. If you got hooked, how many episodes in did it happen? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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It took me towards the middle of Season 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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+ 2. Wasn't crazy about it until the fourth episode or so. Now I am so hooked. Omg, can't wait for the final season!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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Give it some time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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It takes a while.By the end of season 1 for sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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Agree with others. Takes a while to warm up. The first 3-4 episodes are just setting the stage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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It's a very dense universe, so it's not immediately accessible. Also in the beginning, a lot of characters have motivations that have not been yet fully fleshed out so you're not exactly sure where it's going. Stick with it and you'll see. It's an extremely rewarding series when you stick with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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I never got hooked. I waited until each season was over and then watched each in a week, fast forwarding through the boring parts. It's really just a retelling of the same stories, with a few good characters and plots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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Being unable to appreciate GOT may say more about you than it says about GOT. It's well written, well acted, and fairly interesting. Perhaps you need something more accessible to you. GOT is great it may just not be for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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Eyeroll. It's a high-budget tv show, but it is nothing all that new or special. A lot of the dialogue is hammy, and the kids in particular are not great actors. The fx are decent. The kills are good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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Seriously. It’s not exactly James Joyce, for crying out loud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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Oh come on! I go to the opera, watch Shakespeare and also go to highbrow theater. This show is just a sappy soap opera. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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+1 It's a zombie show. Enough said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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I read it and watched it. It's entertaining, but I'm really put off by all the violence and sex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:12 PM Flag
[ - ] When Kim K has a surrogate for pregnancies, whose egg is used? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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Hers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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The embryo is Kim’s egg + Kanye’s sperm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:36 PM Flag
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Chicago is clearly not biologically Kanye west's child [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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Obviously Kaitlyn!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Mom's of mouthy, disrespectful teens, how do you ignore the comments? I'm getting put down so many times every single day. We tried counseling and I was criticized fpr saying I felt bullied. Apparently it's impossible for a kid to bully the mom. But I have to get over it. At this point, it's not about raising a good person. Just not making things worse, losing my marriage, losing access to my kid. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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1) how old is the teen? 2) what gender? 3) how bad are the comments and how does dh feel about them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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16, girl, I don't know. Maybe not bad, except people raise their eyes and mouth wow when they hear how she talks to me. He's alienating her by doubling down and engaging with her every time he thinks her comment was disrespectful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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Have you ever tried diffusing the situation by either 1) ignoring, or 2) saying something like "wow, you sound really angry/hurt/frustrated/annoyed" and letting it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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I would be mortified by those reactions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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NP that said everyone has had a kid talk back or be nasty sometimes, it's not about what others think although I agree that is hard to take as a mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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Yeah, I don't - you shut that shit down when they're four. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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I have a tough to handle dd myself and I have found seeing a therapist for myself has helped me come up with better ways to handle her. It has really helped me speak without drama and set limits calmly and clearly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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omfg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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I would try a new counselor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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Teen mom here. Some examples? I give a pass to garden variety eye rolling, one word answers, raised voice in frustration/stress . If it's more than this, I'm sorry you're gong through this. My stomach is in knots all the time without targeted disrespectful comments. Does DH back you up, btw? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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np: I'll call out eye-rolling; anything more than that isn't tolerated. 15 year-old dd was taught that we don't speak unkindly to those we love, and it goes both ways. If you can't speak civilly to me, I simply won't speak to you at all. FYI - I've never had to raise my voice to her once (and I'm actually a Gen X slacker - not mean or scary at all). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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I get stressed out, so I literally refuse to buy into the drama. They said horrible things to me as teens. As adults, they have apologized over and over again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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oh that is nice to hear ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:37 PM Flag
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It really is MUCH better. I had one where I literally dreaded getting into the car with him to drive him to school because he would just start up with me the second he buckled his seatbelt. He had a lot of issues with his Dad, who just wrote him off as a disrespectful bastard and refused to deal with him altogether. Now that he's grown up and calmed down a lot, what he remembers is that his Dad bailed on him and I stuck with him. I won't lie, that was very gratifying because I felt completely abandoned by him as well and resented feeling like a single parent. What comes around goes around I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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Tough love. Give them the option of treating you with respect or leaving your home until they can. It's hard as hell to do, but you have to be strong and take drastic action. Look for schools for defiant children, most are set up so there is enough "healthcare" provided so insurance pays a large chunk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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omg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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stop w these dumb responses [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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"schools for defiant children" ... ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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Bullying is based on perception of power. You're the parent. You have the power. Your children depend on your for food, shelter, clothes, education, and every bit of comfort and entertainment in their lives. Start stripping it away until the learn to respect what you do for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:55 PM Flag
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YES. Who the hell are these milquetoast mothers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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THIS. My DS started this this year. X's house is more fun, X's mom is cooler. Fine go live at X's house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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This is my ds. I mostly just disengage, walk away. He knows why. Lately I've been turning off the internet without discussion every time he's disrespectful. It's the closest I could come to electric shock therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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I have 4 kids ages 13 - 25. I haven't experienced this. But I do recommend the Parenting with Love & Logic book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:24 PM Flag
[ - ] St. Ignatius Loyola ($12K) or CSH ($52k) for K? HHI $500k, 1 dc, fwiw. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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Why is it that the people with the most money seem to have the inability to make their own decisions? I'm genuinely curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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I like to weigh pros and cons based on the personal experiences of others that they might not be comfortable sharing IRL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:30 PM Flag
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SIL for K-8, CSH 9-12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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SIL hands down. Better academics in the early years and you can go to CSH for HS. I just saved you $400,000- you’re welcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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We have two dc and are jewish and I wanted SIL. Good education, good values and lower cost? no brainer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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The Jesuit school that our kids go to have several Jewish families, not to mention Asians that are Hindu. As long as you're not the sort who gets her panties in a bunch when she sees a crucifix in the school, you'll be fine. I grew up sort of Catholic but don't attend services other than for weddings and funerals and the like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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You are not applying your dc at Loyola, are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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Are you saying a Jewish family shouldn’t take up spots or will be unhappy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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Do not do CSH on 500K. We have 750K and took ours out of a TT. It is a stretch and the cost keeps going up. You must think long term and that tuition goes up almost 2,000 a year. Then there are the donations etc.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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I went to CSH, and am hoping to get my DCs into SIL for K-8! HHI ~$800 K, but we have mortgage, childcare, savings, etc., and I think it is better value for these grades [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:11 PM Flag
[ - ] we have a small apartment. my DD loves the idea of big slumber parties. would it be weird to airbnb a bigger place for one night for that suburban slumber party experience? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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No. Best slumber party I ever did for DD was I used DHs miles and rented a room in a hotel with a pool. It was a lot of fun. DH was out of town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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that sounds fun!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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I was going to say hotel over Airbnb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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I was actually thinking of a hotel room first- just getting a suite at a place w a pool in manhattan but too hard to manage w kids. thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:30 PM Flag
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Loaded kid up in my SUV, drove up to Harrison [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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airbnb or your country house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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We did this, too. It was easy and fun. They went swimming, then had pizza and watched movies in the room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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Do hotels allow this??? Don't they have maximum capacity in a room, rules????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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You just gave me an idea for a business. Van + suburban slumber party house, $1000 a night w all the fixin's and transportation to and from Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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OP here: if you're serious and looking for a partner, let's find a way to connect! I have been thinking ALOT about suburban party experiences for kids in brooklyn and manhattan- backyard barbecues and pool parties etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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OR from above. that sounds expenseive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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a basic kids party venue is $850 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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Too many people will look at idea and say, I can rent large SUV and hotel for the night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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you can also homeschool or give your self a massage ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:51 PM Flag
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friends dd was invited to sleep over at hotel. similar? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:48 PM Flag
[ - ] My baby is teething right now (first two teeth) and he's rosy cheeked all of the time. It's so stinking cute. I can't get enough of him. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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They are so adorable with those pink cheeks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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Enjoy it while it lasts. Once they become mobile and the tantrums start, not so cute anymore lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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Thank the evolution of hormones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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are rosy cheeks due to pain/discomfort? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I am 44. I have not been someone who exercised for about the last 14 years. I just started seeing a trainer about 2 months ago, mostly doing weights 2x week. I am 5'6" 142. My arms and worst of all back are a bit flabby and this is what finally sent me to the gym, but I haven't seen dramatic results yet (probably need to eat less to see that). Honestly, would you wear a strapless dress if you were me? I also have some sun damage on my back. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:04 PM Flag
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I wouldn't. Strapless only looks good on young girls with toned arms, shoulders and perky boobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:07 PM Flag
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A bunch of different things going on in your post. Talk to your trainer about a plan and start building your confidence and get back to us a few months down the line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:07 PM Flag
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The event is Friday so I'm saying where I am now, should I. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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Agree with poster directly below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:11 PM Flag
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If you love the dress and YOU feel good in it, sure. Confidence is key. if, however, you are going to be self-conscious the whole evening and it will ruin ur mood, then no. But this has nothing to do with toned arms and/or back. Wear waht makes you happy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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OP: thanks. I am on the fence enough to be asking. I.e. I think I look good in the dress - it has a white detail around the top which is a great color for me. But I wonder if I am deluding myself and others will be like "whoa, that is gross." Like I know I am not a hot young thing, but I don't want to look downright offensive LOL! But I could wear something else and save this for a year. I just wonder if I am being too hard on myself, or appropriately hard on myself! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:11 PM Flag
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You are being hard on yourself. And unless you show up wearing a purple leopard sequined dress with a multi-colored feather boa, most people aren't looking at you as critically as you think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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OP: TY this is a good point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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At 42, I would have said no because I wouldn't want to look not quite right. At 52, I say life is too short. Don't save it for a year. Wear it now. You could be flabbier in a year and never wear it at all. If you like it, enjoy it and don't worry about what others think. It is just not important. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you - that is what I was wondering - like in a few years will I wish I had worn it now... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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Btw, if you really want ot see toning results, weights are not that effective. HIIT, like tabata-style will show results in a week. It is pretty incredible, but you should do it too much or it will stress your body. Do very intense exercise for about 10-15 min 3x per week. Sprints, stair climbing, jumping rope. That sort of thing. Next day, you will feel strong and tight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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Right answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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If you feel happy and confident in the dress wear it! IF you are going to feel self conscious in the dress, dont wear it. Working out is great for many things but if you want to drop weight it is 95% about diet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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OP: I am well aware, but I want to get toned more than actually dropping weight. But I'm seeing that maybe to be more defined I need to also drop weight. However I detest and am so sick of dieting that I'm trying exercise instead to see how I look and feel. I am totally aware and in the camp that food is the only answer to actually losing weight. Just not sure if I care enough about losing weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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I get it. I am much better at committing to a workout routine than actually eating better. but I know the only time my body really looks diff is from focusing on diet alone. and I work out A LOT!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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Two weights workouts a week isn't enough to see results. You need to do cardio 2-3 a week too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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It's enough to tone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Ugh I got the flu shot but I still caught the flu. DH is going out of town for work for the rest of the week. Not sure how I am going to survive and take care of 16 mo dc (who is not sick...yet...) 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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Been there. You'll figure it out. Feel better! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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Do you have relatives nearby who could help? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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No. :-( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:07 PM Flag
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Face mask and wash hands alot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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I’ll tell DH to grab some face masks on the way home. Dc will probably pull them off though *sigh* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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Send DH out to buy everything you could conceivably need tonight. Hunker down and weather the storm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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NP - Yes! Orange juice, Gatorade, water, straws, broth, meds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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Most people who think they have the flu have a gastrointestinal virus, not influenza. Because the influenza virus changes every year, the vaccine is the epidemiologists' best guess at what the DNA of the virus will be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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Can you get a “night nurse” to come for the week to help during he day. The flu is no joke and I wouldn’t want to be the sole adult for a toddler when I’m that sick. And I wouldn’t want DC to get the flu! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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This is one big reason I don't bother with flu shot. Usually doesn't work unlike most other vaccines [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:17 PM Flag
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Wait do you mean stomach bug or flu like respiratory symptoms, fever and aches. Stomach bug is 24-48 hours actual flu is incapacitated for 2 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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Neither is good but actual flu with husband away is much bigger issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Some talk here lately about borderline personality disorder. Who here really has experience with it? What do you do if anyone in your immediate family has BPD? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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My father had it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:50 PM Flag
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My mother is legitimately borderline. It's awful and has impacted every single aspect of my life. I try to maintain boundaries but I could never cut off contact. I had a few years of very intensive therapy, and that helped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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Pretty sure my mother meets all the criteria. No formal diagnosis I’m aware of but everything I’ve read about it and how to deal with it sounds like her. A lot of it really comes down to having very clear boundaries for yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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Everyone here is married to a narcissist and had borderline personality parents. Which means people are throwing those terms around, of this board attracts a certain type of person [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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You hear a lot about these types because they cause most of the pain in relationships. No one writes about the sweet, normal, reasonable people. When you deal with these sort of people, you struggle to make sense of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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Please define BPD parent and what home life was like growing up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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OP here. What are the things they did/said that most convinced you they were BPD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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You have to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering them. When triggered, a switch flips and they go from normal to irrational and in a rage. They become irrational and you cannot reason with them. If you try to walk away, they are triggered further and block the path or follow you from room to room screaming. They say things to you that 90% of people would never dream of saying to someone. They split and have black and white thinking -- one day they are singing your praises and you are the best thing ever and the next day you are horrible. Jekyll and Hyde. If you meet one, run away and spare yourself the pain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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Was this a daily/weekly occurrence? I’m very loving and kind but my kids can push me to the limit and I’ll flip but I certainly wouldn’t consider myself BPD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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Are you really going to ask anonymous strangers and trolls about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Why leave your family for a bottom feeding, gold digging, whorish OW? Serious question. You will lose your family, many if not most friends, social circle, respect, assets, home, relationships. For what? A piece of ass that’s going to wrinkle up like everyone else’s? It truly makes no sense. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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Looks like the afternoon cocktail crowd has arrived. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:33 PM Flag
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Stone cold sober. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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To feel alive again, to get to do a redo, for the adoration, selfishness, thinking with dick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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But you never actually get a redo as far as your children are concerned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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yes but most people who cheat are selfish so they'll justify anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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Truer words... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:16 PM Flag
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For the DHs who are willing to do this, I don't think they are, or ever will be, concerned about the effect this will have on their kids. They are typically of the opinion that their own needs should come first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:19 PM Flag
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And they can just have another set of dc... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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"Crunch away. We'll make more." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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I felt wonderful during the emotional affair. Not connected to reality AT ALL. It took a long time to undo. It's just not the rational mind you are working with in the throes of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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Do you think if your dh has left you, you would have come to your senses? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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Honestly, no. The best explanation I've found is that the early stages of romantic love change the body chemistry (evolution's way of getting you to have sex and reproduce before the "halo" effect of the other person wears off). It just takes time, I don't think there is anything that would have jolted me out of it, though DH leaving would have made the downsides clearer and might have hastened it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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So then what caused you to end it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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DH found texts. He wanted to work on the marriage, so did I. It was still really, really difficult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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np: I'm the woman having an actual affair for 14 years - your year-long, quasi emotional affair is a non-issue. Stop with the histrionics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:30 PM Flag
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Actually, all of these things don't necessarily occur as the result of an affair. Ex-DH had an affair with his co-worker. A month after the affair began, he was head over heels infatuated with her. Everyone in their office knew. He proposed marriage to her during that first month, and before I had any inkling. She encouraged him to leave me, and he did- all within the space of two months. Nothing punitive ever happened to him. No issues with work, our friends remained friendly with him, our assests were divided evenly (community property), his family didn't care, my family got over it. The OW did dump him within a month of him leaving. She didn't want him, just just wanted the confidence boost in coaxing a man into leaving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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One would argue he wasn't really seeing her very clearly though and kind of proves OP's point. Also if you have kids, trust me, they will know and remember forever. Of course they might forgive (I forgave my dad and cared about him a great deal) but he had to live with a really dark spot on history with me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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And did he want to get back together with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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He did return to the home and we lived together platonically for about a year. He tried once to tell me that he thought true love was what we really had together, but there was no going back. He remained infatuated with OW even into his second marriage with another lady. His 2nd DW left him because he continued to have feelings for OW. IMHO he will never be free of the intense feelings he developed for her. But to the OP's point, he didn't suffer financially or professionally, no one cared. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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Wow. She really messed him up. What a tool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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If assets were divided (twice) he had financial repercussions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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My ex never realized he would lose his best friend. I don't know why, maybe the wife thought he was a jerk. But life goes on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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They prob won't lose their friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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OR from above, I was shocked when one of DHs oldest friends faded on him. I think they mostly saw each other with wives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:11 PM Flag
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They will lose couple friends for sure. No married couple wants to be around that trashy whore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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Are we still talking about Bezos? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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omg are we judging Bezos? Maybe he wants to be single and have affairssssszzzzzz period. Maybe his wife is done. You really have no way of knowing what is going on in anyhone's head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Need to sell my condo on UES should sell for about 3 mil. how do i find a real estate agent thats good ? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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Look who has had success in selling in your building and your direct neighborhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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You may not want to take a recommendation from this board, but in case you do: Cindy Bernat. We've bought and sold several properties over the years with different agents and she is our favorite by quite a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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Can you wait a year or two? This is the worst time to sell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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Who knows what the market will be like in a year or two? What happens if there's a bear market and lots of layoffs on Wall Street 12 months from now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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easily - ask everyone you know and every single person you know will know someone they think is GREAT. then do your homework on them, talk to them, have them come over and meet them. Then, when you realize this is endless and you can spend your life meeting 'great' brokers that people you know 'love', you will bite the bullet and pick one you liked best of the 10 you had time to meet. Or 5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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If you find someone, look them up on streeteasy to see what properties they have listed and contact them under a fake email asking for a showing to see how they respond. I am in the market and I am amazed how many brokers I have emailed to ask for a showing who do not respond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:30 PM Flag
[ - ] If you found out your therapist Just got divorced after 15 years of marriage would it make you question their competence as a therapist? 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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No. If I get sued would that change my abilities as a lawyer? People can be good at what they do but still have their own issues which may require that they rely on others for advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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If you got sued and were found to have broken the law, then yes. So a therapist is presumably skilled at navigating relationships. Plus I wonder if they are currently stable enough emotionally to provide sound guidance when going thru a divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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Typically when you "break the law" you are arrested. Civil suits happen every day to a wide variety of people, mostly for money damages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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If there was significant wrongdoing or unethical behavior then I would lose trust in a lawyer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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Wow, you're really delving into the issues here. Are you OP? Have you spent this much time thinking about the reasons the therapist is getting divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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no But it’s not an uncommon scenario. My therapist from 20 years ago since got divorced and it left me struggling questioning some advice she gave me back then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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Sounds like you need a new therapist, one who can guide you to a better place. Grown ups say: Gee, I don't feel comfortable with this person anymore. Maybe I'll go somewhere else. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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If you get sued, that means a civil suit. You can win or lose, but it does not mean you are breaking a law. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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People divorce for a lot of reasons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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Have you been sued for malpractice? Then yes that would give me pause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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No, I have not. Are those details which should be offered? Was OP's therapist acting unprofessional? We don't know. Her therapist is going through or went through a divorce. Think, people. Everyone is throwing shit at the wall without thing this through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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Thinking this through [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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No, but when I read that she was arrested for disorderly conduct at a pharmacy, it did. (true story) Divorce happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Not at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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No. You do realize that if one spouse wants a divorce, he/she gets it? Your spouse can have an affair and he wants out, there is nothing you can do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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Not at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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I should add I only know this bec a friend saw him post on a dating website. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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How does your friend know what your therapist looks like? How do you know he was married for 15 years? How do you know he's not still married and cheating on his wife? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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Small community. To be more specific it’s a matchmaking site. He sent in a profile with his info that was sent to her as potential match. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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I question anyone's competence in general if they are a therapist. Not a bright bunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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Pretty gross generalization. There are brilliant therapists and simple minded ones, just like in any profession. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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There should be no simple-minded people in the profession of the mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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Get over yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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Good comeback. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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That's a false generalization. I've seen some brilliant therapists. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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Where? Are they hiding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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Under your bed, waiting for the fall out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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Right? Psychiatrists only have MDs and psychologists only have PhDs! People with MBAs are so much smarter.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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No. Life hits everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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No. Divorce is so prevalent now, I don’t think the point of marriage counseling is to prevent divorce. I think the point is to have the best marriage you can and navigate divorce as well as you can if it comes to that. All people are not happiest together and that is ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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Shoemakers children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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How do you know so much about your therapist's personal life? That in itself is a red flag. You are not friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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Probably googling, stalking, daily review of court filings/records. Too much time on hands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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My therapist was very pro divorce. She neglected to mention she lost custody of her children during her divorce and hadn’t seen two of her 3 kids in years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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What if his wife was a sex addict and cheated on him nonstop? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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OMG. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:38 PM Flag
[ - ] How different is having 2 kids from having just one. Would be a 5 year difference between the two 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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Very, IMO. Just getting two dressed, out the door and buckled into the car takes me forever. (Mine are 19 months apart, though.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Borrow a baby for two weeks and find out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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1+1=3 it seem in terms of work. It's more work than it ought to be. But a 5 year difference will help; older DC will be more self-sufficient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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I have no memory of the first year, none. It's like it never happened [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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hard on the mom but you have to trust that they will have a good relationship when they are older and their lives will be fuller and richer. You won't see it for a long time though! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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sooooo much more work. I love my kids but I had no idea how much more a second would be. It's worn me down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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same but I didnt want 1st DC to be only child. and it is nice when they get along and play together (which is not all the time) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:16 PM Flag
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VERY!! not even a comparison. 2 kids is way harder than 1 -BUT your five year old will be more helpful than if they were closer in age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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My sister is five years younger and my brother is seven years younger. Even by 5, I was a little mother's helper. Read to my little brother...something my parents didn't do with any of us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:04 PM Flag
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1 is 1, and 2 is 20 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:08 PM Flag
[ - ] I need a new down coat. Don't want to spend a ton of money. I've had that J Crew one that everyone has for a couple of years and it looks gross. Any ideas? Thanks. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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Whatever Burlington has on sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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Budget? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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OP - Up to $350. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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np- North Face, Patagonia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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Can you get through this winter? Dry clean it or have any rips fixed by a tailor? I think down puffer coats are everywhere and may go out of fashion for a bit. Otherwise a Herno on sale? I bet serious sales will start soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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L L Bean or Landsend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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uniqlo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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I don't find uniqlo to be warm at all, but good for a fall/spring down jacket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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I think the key with Uniqlo is to layer it with one of their thin jackets or vests. Their heavyweight baselayers are also really nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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marmot, northface? maybe dicks sporting goods. got one last yr for 200 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Today is my day off. I’ve grocery shopped, cooked for the week, and cleaned out the kitchen plus done some work to advance my career. I’m sure something will come along to break the streak, but I am feel g smug and good at this moment. DS not home for a few more hours, so I’m gonna watch Dirty John.... 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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that was me yesterday. i then had half a bottle of white and watched ray donovan (3 whole episodes) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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What did you cook? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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I loved Dirty John. I wish it was a longer series. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Does Pilates count as strength training? If I do private Pilates on a reformer 3x a week and eat well, will I see a difference? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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I say yes . It is pretty intense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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I did that for a while and now do a crossfit kind of class. Much better results with crossfit. I didn't see results with SLT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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Op: the thing is, I hate CrossFit and other kinds of super intense exercise. Pilates I will actually stick with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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np stick w what you will stick w. pilates is excellent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Do what you like! I love my Xfit classes because I love the trainer and the group of people who go there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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np there is something about traditional pilates on the reformer that gave me much better results than SLT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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What is SLT? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:00 PM Flag
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If you are already thin, you will see results. You will not lose weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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totally agree w this. it is not a route to weight loss. but it will tone and tighten [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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What if I’m not thin but don’t expect Pilates to help me lose weight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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Does the 100 a day squat challenge work? Or 1000 a day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone suggest a store similar to Restoration Hardware? Crate and Barrel usually doesn't use wood (they use veneer) and can't find my dream glass cabinet anywhere. I'm looking for something modern, made of wood, similar to this: https://www.restorationhardware.com/catalog/product/product.jsp?productId=prod7820182. Many thanks! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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^ I'm not buying that one because of height. I need 84" or less. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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I love those but that's a steep price. Random fact: was at one of our offices today and some beautiful glass cabinets were tucked away in one of our libraries. They were so beautiful. It would be cool if you could find something in an estate sale or whatever instead of purchasing new. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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I totally agree- I keep looking at state sales and craiglist, with no luck... I have a modern/rustic style and that one would fit perfectly in my dining room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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That is such a basic piece of furniture that any carpenter could build it. You wouldn't even need a cabinet or furniture maker! Basic, basic, basic (and ugly). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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+1 very easy to have someone make it for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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I'm not sure where you are having furniture made but custom furniture is quite expensive. I don't see you having that made for less than the RH price unless you find a very inexpensive woodworker. I'm trying to find someone to make me shelves and I'm getting insane price quotes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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OP: I agree with this. I asked a carpenter about a table and the price was insane..can't even imagine a glass cabinet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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OP didn't say she needed something less expensive, she said she needed it to not be as tall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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I respect your opinion- I actually like clear, simple lines. That is just my style. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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Look up a furniture maker and have it made. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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room and board? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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than you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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Try Room & Board. Some of their stuff is solid, some veneers, but mostly made in the US and very nice, IMHO. They also have a customization feature that may work for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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