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[ - ] other than coney island, are there any amusement parks close to NYC, within an hours drive? i tried a google search but only Rye playland came up and that is closed for the season. TY 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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Aren’t they all closed for the season? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Great Adventure is just a little more than an hour I think [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Isn’t six flags close? also sesame place has some roller coasters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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OP: for teenagers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Adventureland in Farmingdale / Long Island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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rye playland [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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Rye Playland is open for two *bonus* weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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[ - ] When my dh and I go out to dinner, he will never approach the reservation desk, like ever. I have to do it each and every the time. I usually don't mind, but honestly I would like it if he sometimes stepped up. I think that it falls into "male job" on a date to do this and I would like it very much. Also, I am small and he is tall so it is much easier for him to get attention in a crowded environment. I have told him since before we were married (20+ years ago) that I wish he would step up sometimes and do this. So, okay, of course tonight it happened again, the restaurant was busy and he stood outside the door with his hands in his pockets. I walked in and got us a table but I'm still mad. Am I crazy? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Not for wanting what you want but for thinking it will be different the next time. It won’t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Yes you are crazy and no this is not a man job. However what I think you are wanting from him is a bit more chivalry. I think you can tell him that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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That's not what chivalry means. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 08:47 AM Flag
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i don't understand. why don't you stand outside with your hands in your pockets, if that is what you want to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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I'm going to guess that this is part of a larger pattern of you feeling like he doesn't step up to "take charge" more often. I have a DH like this, too. It can be annoying, but there are also benefits. Either way, I knew this when I married him and it's not going to change. I don't make blanket requests like "I want you to go to the reservation desk at restaurants," but I might say on a case-by-case basis, "Hey, it looks crowded. I'll try to get seats at the bar, while you go put our name on the waiting list," or "Why don't you call your mom to work out a plan for Sunday" or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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+1. All of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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+1. I have the same DH and I totally get what you're saying - but i have to be mindful of who i married, and, yes, there are benefits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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np: Yes. The passive behavior can be annoying but tbh having a bossy, controlling DH that does things without consulting you is usually worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:27 AM Flag
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Yes!! This is so true!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 10:09 AM Flag
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Omg. I have actually ruled out guys on dates because of this kind of thing. I don’t want to feel like my date’s mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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Maybe your date doesn't want to feel like your dad, either... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 08:48 AM Flag
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You will be one of these miserable UB moms in a few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 10:09 AM Flag
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He sounds like an introvert. I’d be annoyed by this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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he sounds very unmanly- such a turnoff. would he protect you in a dangerous situation or just stand back???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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np FWIW, I grew up with 4 older brothers, played rugby in high school and college, and had to take krav maga training for the 4 years I had a military contractor job in Germany. If my husband and I were in a dangerous situation, we would be on equal footing or I would be the one protecting. And that's the way I like it. If I need a man to protect me, what do I do when a man isn't there to do the protecting? This isn't 1850 and I'm not malnourished and wearing 17 layers of restrictive clothing. I can take care of myself and I can decide when it's smart to fight or run. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 08:54 AM Flag
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the hostess desk is really not a dangerous situation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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My DH tries to do this a lot, but I really just don't let him. He's 6'5 and very attractive and whenever he tries to stand meekly in a corner, I basically butter him up by telling him that we'll have a much better chance getting in quicker if he goes bc he looks important, or I say that he can smile at at the hostess if it's a woman, and then he'll try to say that I look just as good or have a way with words so I should go. At that point I just say I don't agree and I won't go so we'll be waiting all night. Then he goes. I'm annoyed that I even have to do all that, but I prefer it to me always having to take charge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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I really don't understand this. When DH and I go to a restaurant, we walk in together and approach the host together. That way, the host knows how many are in our party and that we are both there and ready to be seated. Apart from antiquated notions of women being "the weaker sex", why would this be "the man's job"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 08:49 AM Flag
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No, women are supposed to sit back and look pretty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 10:11 AM Flag
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lols Good comedy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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Are these fancy restaurants? Don’t you already have a reservation? DH and I walk in together and are seated right away. I’m confused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:12 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone has an issue with someone wanting to spend time with their children when they were not present? I have a relative (female) that has a specific interest in develop an independent relationship w my DDs and doing fun activities but not inviting me along. They have a ball but this desire to exclude me bothers me. I don’t have a concern about sexual abuse or anything. She invites my mother along and she is very very generous but I’m not sure what this is about. Does anyone have experience with this? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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how are you guys starting posts? I have a "manage settings" bar over the new post button. :( Sorry to hijack, but was hoping for some Urban Baby help tonight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Bottom left of your screen, "new post." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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^^Sorry, I see you have something weird going on. Maybe re-boot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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Click through Manage Settings and set your marketing preferences. If you are in the US, you are getting this because you are behind a VPN or strong firewall and UB can't tell whether you are in the EU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 08:56 AM Flag
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I've been extremely close with my aunt all my life. I think it's been really helpful to me to have a relationship with a non-parent relative. I can tell her anything and she has played a different role in my life than my mom has (or could). I would encourage this unless you think there is something unhealthy or strange about the interaction/person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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It’s odd. I enjoy spending time with my niece. And I am happy to babysit when my sil asks. But I would actively seek out alone time with her just as a way to nurture our relationship. Would you describe the family seeking time with your dd as controlling? Does she have healthy relationships with the other family members? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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^^^^ I would NOT actively seek alone time... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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maybe your relative had a close aunt that she had a similar independent relationship with and she wants to be that aunt to your children. My kids have an aunt like this and I think it is great. I think kids benefit from relationships with adults that are not their parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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She did have an independent relationship like this and it was very unhealthy. Within our family, it is a well known example of a person interfering in the parent child dynamic. If anything I guess knowing her own history I’m shocked she would do something that on the surface looks like a brazen attempt to repeat the same thing that was done to her. It took years for her to heal her relationship with her mother and she is extremely resentful of the relative who manipulated her as a child. So I don’t understand why she thinks I would go for this. Too weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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that does sound weird, or maybe she is trying to right the wrong? by having a healthy relationship with her nieces? i think you have nothing to loos by saying that you like to spend time together too. you can make the alone time a special event , like for a birthday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Then put a stop to it, it does not sound like a healthy thing for your relative to do and you do not want your DD eventually suffering for it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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No and there are a few other things she does that are odd reenactments of unhealthy patterns from her childhood but what’s CRAZY is that she seemed surprised when I mentioned excluding me so she was either gaslighting or, like, a therapist’s wet dream [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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What is even crazier is that you are allowing this to happen, it's all on you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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I don’t like it. She doesn’t need to exclude you every time to be close to them. That’s just me. I’m very close to my brother and sister’s children because we all spend time together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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OP here. This. I think we can have a nice overlapping GROUP dynamic. My husband is wonderful too. I don’t understand why she wants this segmentation... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Does she have dcs of her own? Maybe she’s looking for beneficiaries? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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She might be. Told me previously that she made me her beneficiary and heir. Could be true, but honestly, it’s leprechauns gold. I haven’t given that comment a second thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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Well if she’s a nice woman, and fond of you, stands to reason she will be fond of your dcs and want to know them. Sounds like a win-win-win situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:20 AM Flag
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How is she related? Is she your Aunt? Does she have kids of her own? I love to spend time with my nieces and nephews alone because we can be silly and fun. They will always prefer their parent. IF your kids are well behaved, it is a nice thing for someone who is lonely or misses their kids. It is odd that she excludes you. Maybe she thinks she is giving you a break? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Tell us how she is related to you and we can give you better advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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She is a first cousin. In our family this is a very close relation- she is my mother’s older sister’s first daughter. I’m sorry I know that’s very detailed but the bonds are CLOSE. Her mother died seven years ago and she doesn’t have children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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I’m single and this will be me in 20 years. She’s lonely and childless. Give her a break. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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Can't you let her have an independent relationship with your dd? Why are you so threatened? She has no kids. Jeez. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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I’m not threatened. We’re family. Why would you go out of the way to exclude the mom from a group activity? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 07:40 AM Flag
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Not the same but I had a neighbor growing up that used to do things with me, away from my parents. She was probably in her 50s? I was under ten. She took me to lunch or to shows, once to the toy store. I think she liked being with a nice little girl. Nothing sinister ever happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:33 AM Flag
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I guess that would make sense because she never had a relationship with your parents. I was quite close to this cousin. She mentioned wanting an independent relationship with my girls when the first one was born and now that they are old enough I’m suddenly excluded from group events and activities. So it’s also a pretty rough severing of our relationship as well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 07:43 AM Flag
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She may want to position herself to be a confidante for when they’re older. Can you schedule time for you and your cousin to do something? Or have her over for dinner with your whole family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:41 AM Flag
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I would love this! I wish someone would take my kids alone somewhere. Relax and enjoy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 10:13 AM Flag
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My sister wanted to do this because she loves my DD (only one of them) and hates me. So her only chance to enjoy herself was without me. She lives a few thousand miles away though so it’s easy to curb. I also think she was a horrible older sister and certainly not a good influence so I am not interested in her hanging out with my DD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:04 PM Flag
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What happened in her own relationship ? Why that was unhealthy ? Why do you think she is repeating some of the situations ? Any advise with knowing all of these details is limited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:23 PM Flag
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People repeat things. Most abusers were abused themselves. People also copy parenting skills of their own parents. Given her history I would be skeptical and won’t allow this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Is the RPM Raceway in Jersey city good? How many races wound be fun for 15/16 year olds? 2 or 3? TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Yeah, it’s fun for any age - different races/tracks. 2-3 should do it. Arcade games. There is bar food there. Had a kid birthday party there once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Fun! Took DH for his bday a few years back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:05 AM Flag
[ - ] My dh who I’m sure has undiagnosed Aspergers/Autism gets tricked by deals and scams often. It’s very strange because he is a successful business owner but outside of his own very specific industry he seems to have no typical adult skills of understanding that people don’t give you things for free, when something seems like a bad business investment, etc.. Apparently an old sales manager of his is sick and wants to “give” my DH his timeshare for free, DH will just have to pay the 1,500/month. I don’t know a single thing about timeshares, but I do know that there must be motivation on friends part to get rid of this and/or transfer it. I told DH this sounds this and he walked out of the room. Does anyone have any knowledge of these things so I can give him info on why this is a bad idea? TIA 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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OP here. I’m sorry...1,500/year - not month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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There is usually a yearly maintenance fee by the time share for general upkeep and it can be pricey. If your family is solely using the time share then this guy will expect you to pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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Time shares are poor values at best, a scam at worse. just ask your DH to give you a copy of the paperwork BEFORE he signs anything, ever. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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Say no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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Your dh could just be a guy without a lot of common or practical sense. Ya know, street smarts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO ACCEPT, he will get stuck paying for the rest of his life, people want to get rid of time share schemes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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There are maintenance fees and assessments forever. Whole businesses are built around helping people get rid of their time shares because no one wants them. Unless this is someplace your family really loves to vacation, you would be stuck with an albatross. I do know someone who has had one for years and it’s a big family reunion on the Cape every year. Someone else I know is a Disney freak and has one there. They love it. But there are tons of people who are trying to get out of them and can’t. Why else would dh’s boss “give” it to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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It sounds like he wants to help his former colleague so harping on his gullible-ness and the “scam” part will only make him defensive. Instead focus on the financial aspect and how it doesn’t fit into your budget or your annual travel plans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:41 PM Flag
[ - ] DH drove DS back to school today for sophomore year...he's so happy and I'm happy for him, but also feeling blue. Time is going by so quickly... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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Most college students have been back for weeks already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:51 AM Flag
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Some colleges do trimesters and start late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Is anyone familiar with Baltimore? How safe is it for a female to walk around the harbor area at night? Never been, so I don't know. Thinking about Harbor East Marina near Roy's restaurant, Fleming's, La Scala, etc. Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Go and see the Garbage Wheel, it's actually really cool: https://www.baltimorewaterfront.com/healthy-harbor/water-wheel/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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that area is totally fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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touristy, south street seaport-like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:22 AM Flag
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It's fine in Harbor East generally. If it's 2am and you're alone and closer to La Scala as opposed to Roy's, I might hesitate more. But with another person, around 9-10pm- totally and completely fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Will any TT school seriously look at kids for K applying who are currently 4th tier private k-12 that has nursery and pre-k? Plan for was DC to go from 4th tier to G&T (DC is a sibling). current private school was a back-up in case took more than one year to make test cut-off. Now that weird things are brewing for G&T, thinking maybe should look at private for K but only want one that will be academically stronger.Wondering whether already being at a private is a non-starter. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 09.15.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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So nursery academics weren’t strongest at your current school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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no and we knew that but liked it for younger years and figured we would mvoe dc to g&t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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:-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:15 AM Flag
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G&T isn’t going anywhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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maybe. but could change sibling priority or otherwise change admissions standards. changes the calculus for the decision we made. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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It won’t change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:34 AM Flag
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This was us. Feedback that we got was without a PSD lobbying for us, we were swimming uphill. Nothing wrong with us or our kid, but there are enough great, “qualified” kids coming from The Establishment Preschools that most TT schools don’t need to give people coming from other private schools a look. It does happen but it’s much much harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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kind of what i figured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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This is nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Agree. Nonsense. TT schools aren’t taking entire classes from a tiny number of schools. They, too, want diversity in their classes, even from preschools. True, it is more difficult without a PSD doing a lot of the finessing, but not impossible. Join the Parents League and talk to one of their advisors - they will be able to give you great information. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Also, forgot to mention that I know people who turned down TT preschools for this very reason - because they didn’t want to have to compete with the siblings and legacies. I know several people at smaller, lesser known preschools who have done very well for themselves because they didn’t have as much competition in their preschool classes (many going to public/far fewer siblings and legacies). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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I posted above, and you’re wrong. I did speak to the Parents League. They are politically correct and stuffy. They will not tell you any actual insider info. There’s also a big difference between “diversity of preschools” and applying from another ongoing school. Without a PSD, it’s up to the school to decide how serious an applicant you are, too. Places like Brearley don’t want first choice letters. But they do want a good yield. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:38 AM Flag
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Totally not true anymore. The more random, the better, with respect to nursery school applying to TT. Normal families, unconnected, will have a harder time in broker process at the baby ivies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Relax. DC will get a spot at G&T. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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I can tell you mean Dwight. There is a family in my K TT grade who came from Dwight and also got into every other tt to which they applied. But kinda had a hook. Not URM, but somewhat exotic. Punt is, it’s possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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Typo point is, not punt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Within just a few years, my grandmother went from normal, happy and healthy to cranky, slow and aggressive. It’s sad to see and she isn’t that old. It all happened over the course of 2-3 years. So sad. It started in her early seventies. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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It is sad. But I think we’ve become kind of delusional about what I means to age these days. I think after 60-65 you’re in the window and anything can happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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I agree. There are people who still work, are active and sharp at age 80 and we think it must be like this for everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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^ I am afraid she will get sick and die earlier :(( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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She probably will. Have you or other family members taken her to a doctor for mental and physical evaluation? There are treatments that can slow some symptoms and advances of age-related disease, a little. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:02 AM Flag
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Fewer than we would like to believe. All my greats, grands and parents lived well into their 80s. And some beyond. Not one of them could keep up with a full work schedule past early to mid 60s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Also keep in mind that *normal* (unimpaired) cognitive function is very much use-it-or-lose-it as we age. If we allow ourselves to "slow down" and stop learning new things in our 40s and 50s, it is that much more difficult to retain the ability to think and learn in our 60s and 70s. It's no different from the person who stops working out hard and competing at 30 and then is surprised at 40 when she can't keep up physically. Learn a new sport or language or some other skill every 5 years, at the very least, to keep your brain active. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:05 AM Flag
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+1 We are on the verge of some life-changing medical advances and technologies, and they are just close enough for people to think they are already here. In 30 (or 60, or 100, or if we are very very lucky, 10) years, the world might be a very different for old people, but we're not quite there yet. Longevity is still increasing faster than quality at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:00 AM Flag
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Yes this is often the time of life this happens, can be startling to loved ones as can seem quite sudden, especially if you don’t see grandma every day so allowing it to creep up on you bit by bit. So sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:22 AM Flag
[ - ] What brand are your favorite sweatpants/ joggers not for working out but for lounging? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Alternative Apparel, American Giant, Marine Layer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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Uniqlo lounge suits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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CostCo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Pact organic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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I don’t even recognize any of these brands. Are you ladies 22 years old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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35 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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I love, love, love the Uniqlo 360 degree stretch pants, I have been wearing them since last night! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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Splendid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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athlete [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:51 AM Flag
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sorry, athleta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:51 AM Flag
[ - ] DC has an 89/90% average from TT school and a >1400 SAT. Is leaning toward the West Coast (but has a few Eastern schools on the list). Options so far in include schools like University of San Francisco, University of San Diego and a few others. These schools are not very highly-ranked (in USNWR). Tell me I'm being foolish to care about this. 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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West Coaster here. UCSD is fine but USF is nothing special. If s/he is coming all the way here, why not UC-Irvine, Santa Barbara or even Santa Cruz? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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There are a few UC schools on the list, but DC was hoping for something more in the 5-10K range in terms of student body. Other schools on the list include Santa Clara, Chapman, Occidental (which is smaller), and then a smattering of larger ones (UCs and SDSU). I guess I'm struggling with the reputation aspect. While GPA isn't tippy-top, it's respectable and the course load is rigorous. College counselor has added some bigger name schools to the list, but I feel like DC is buying into the idea that it's so rigorous that unless you have a 3.8+, it isn't worth trying. Maybe that's true; if so, I want to get excited about the likely options. But I'm struggling with the fact that no one has heard of most of these schools. If you're from the West Coast, do you think I'm right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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^When I said above that DC is buying into the idea that it's so "rigorous", what I mean is buying into the idea that admissions is so competitive, that anything short of a 3.8+ isn't worth applying to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Where does DC want to live or do after graduation? If staying on the West Coast, it probably matters a bit less. I mean, my DH went to Binghamton and complains that no one has heard of it here! But I would encourage DC to compromise on school size before compromising on reputation. At least apply and see what happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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Would also add that being out of state sometimes give you a leg up if you don’t need financial aid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Thanks. No, we don't need financial aid and the college counselor thinks that DC is likely to get merit money from many of the schools on our list (which would be nice). I guess I'm thinking why not NYU, BU or other schools that I think have stronger name recognition...but I'm trying to be supportive. I think DC is open to staying on the West Coast post graduation, but I guess it's hard to know at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Your child went to a TT school and will be fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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Apply widely and see how it goes. Reputation doesn't matter if he doesn't get in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:45 PM Flag
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DC wants to 1.) get away from home and 2.) be near the Pacific Ocean, clearly. Encourage University of Hawaii and have it all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:08 AM Flag
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How can you be a west coaster and not know that university of San Diego is not the same as UCSD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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PP: Well, I’m a former East Coaster and I live in the Bay Area. I’ve never heard of USD. I guess that’s fodder for OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:14 AM Flag
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USD is Jesuit, I believe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:44 AM Flag
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OP was referring to USD not UCSD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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We're in a global education system now. A motivated, creative, curious student can be at a #500 university and connect with people all over the world, and end up changing a whole discipline through her own ideas and contributions. Only sheep and mediocre students need to be at top 10 schools to succeed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:07 AM Flag
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While this is true, what’s also true is that the world still turns on networks, connections and reputation. It’s easier to find someone who will take a chance on you and give you your first opportunity if they feel like you’re a “known” entity. That’s the power of a TT degree, at least immediately post-graduation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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Stupidest thing to consider EVER [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Please indulge me and tell me why is stupid. I'm sure I'm just stressed because I swear that if you'd asked me this a year ago, I would have said I don't car about rankings and that it's all about fit. But now that DC is actually applying and it's becoming more real, I'm second guessing the list and feeling like we should be looking for fit AND reputation. Talk me down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Where you go to undergrad hardly matters. It IS all about fit. Four years of perfect bliss. Not a list with the most bizarre methodology. Just file this one with... if all your friends jumped off a bridge... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Thank you. You're right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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My pleasure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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Of course where you go to undergrad matters. This is absurd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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np: Well it matters in the sense that if you get into an Ivy the name recognition, etc. will do you many favors. But assume an Ivy, Stanford, etc. is off the table - it doesn't matter in the way that people who take photos of their child on a rowing machine to pretend they did crew so they can go to USC vs. AZ State think it does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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It’s where you go to grad school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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shockingly, not everyone goes to grad school. I co-run a pretty big entertainment co, and -- sit down for this -- I do not have a grad degree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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You misunderstood the conversation. The wealthiest member of my family didn’t go to college. The point is undergrad degree name brand isn’t important. As each day passes it becomes less so. Our generation isn’t this generation. You have to look at current trends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:56 AM Flag
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No, it truly doesn’t [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Why did you waste all that money on private school? My goodness this is idiotic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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What did you want her to do? Pull her kid out of school mid way and put him in public because he has an 89 average? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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What to you is a waste, to many is setting their child up for a more successful life. Education keeps on paying back, so college placement is not really the reason to get private K-12 ed.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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Um,don't really agree that spending 700K on a tt education makes much sense if your kid "struggles." (though I agree with poster above that once the kid is in, you have to play it out. You can't know what kind of student they will be when they are 5). Don't think graduating Trinity et al and then going to Santa Clara really "sets their child up for a more successful life." It is what it is. Unless if, by "successful" you mean he met some fancy kids at Trinity and those contacts might help him down the line. But that's not about the education. Your k-12 education really doesn't set you up for much except college, alas. It doesn't "keep on paying back" on its own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:51 AM Flag
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OP. We can agree to disagree. I'll leave it at that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:23 AM Flag
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Is your child at the bottom of the class at the TT? Those sound like strange choices for a TT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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No, not at all. This is partly why I'm feeling a little concerned. The issue is wanting to be in CA and looking for schools of a certain size. There aren't as many to pick from. There are a few East Coast schools on the list and I'm going to encourage DC to apply to some larger schools just to keep options open. Test scores were solid and ECs are good, so I feel like this list is really "safe", but I think DC is intimidated by the other kids in the grade who have stronger GPAs and are applying to schools like USC, Stanford, Claremont Colleges, and top UCs like (Cal and UCLA). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:43 AM Flag
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I think you should simply manage expectation. Work hard on the list you have and then add a reach or two all the while reiterating the schools are a reach so let’s give it a shot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:59 AM Flag
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What is the exact SAT score? Bigger than 1400 is a huge range to speculate. I'm from bay area by the way and my DS is applying this year, can give you better idea if I know the exact SAT score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 10:23 AM Flag
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OP. Scores are 1450 770V/680M. FWIW, grades are consistent (lower math/sci, higher humanities). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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Isn't 89/90 a B+? That is the top of the middle third at TT. It's not like public, where you have to be a 97 to be in the top third. Grading scale is much harsher at TT. So - these options seem very limited for that place in the class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:23 PM Flag
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Exactly. It's a solid GPA at this school, but there are definitely kids in a higher bracket. Our college counselor agrees that we have a lot of likelies (which counselor is calling targets), along with some safeties. I don't mean to sound cynical--the college counselor is great--but her job is to get everyone into college and to manage expectations. I'm guessing she working with the top third of the class a bit differently and is encouraging them to aim higher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone been to New Zealand? Worth it to spend a few days on the North Island to see Rotorua or just head over to the South Island? Have 12 days, not including travel from the States. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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Rotors for what? Rafting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Sorry auto correct. I enjoyed the all day spelunking glowrooms but not everyone is that curious and fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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For the hot springs, I guess. The pictures look beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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I prefer natural hot springs. And it smells of sulphur. The whole town whether or not you go to the hot springs. And even though crank works is there I wouldn’t do the mountain biking downhill only cross country. The rafting was good too. Worlds tallest commercially rafted drop of 21 feet. It’s a crummy town (no offence to any Uber’s from there). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Also the very north of north island is beautiful like south Polynesian islands [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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And lord of the rings Hobbit town is on north island too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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we liked rotorua. also auckland is nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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What did you like about it? Good for DC (7,9)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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they have hot springs, geysers- all of the thermal stuff. personally we thought iceland was better but maybe because it was more dangerous (was just DH and I-although at the time we weren't married- i think rotorua would be better with kids- no worries they would get burned or something). we also went to a glowworm cave- waitomo i think- as a day trip. it was cool. auckland was just kind of a cool city- was niceto walk around. there wasn't tons to do but was a good base for a day or two to get acclimated after a long flight. we had some good chinese food too. later we went to the south island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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Np take a day trip to Waikiki island from Auckland [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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When are you going? This year, next year, or 2021? There is a lot of rugby over the next two years, and a lot of New Zealand clubs will be ramping up training and matches in order to pick players for World Cup 2021. Anywhere in NZ, you will find good sports to watch and play. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:11 AM Flag
[ - ] It’s fall and that lonely feeling is creeping in again. Back to work and no social life. Help. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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You didn’t work all summer? Count yourself lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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No I worked, but we went out of the city on weekends and had a group of friends. It all ends when summer ends. I work plenty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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Sounds like you work even more in the winter. I am sorry. I know what it feels like. I am totally stressed out and hate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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And on ub you think you’ll find people who can’t relate and are socially fulfilled? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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I was hoping for some comfort -... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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OP, do you not have friends in the city? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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I do but we don’t go out much and I just don’t feel as close with them as the friends I had when I was young, even when I was single. I feel like it’s all competitive as to whose kids are achieving what and who has more money. I know I am hypersensitive but I don’t feel like I can trust these women in the same way as I could old friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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You would be right. Most great friendships are formed before 22. Pretty much everyone else is adults you socialize with; relationships with little substance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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"To have a friend, you have to be a friend." -Girl Scouts. Go be a friend to someone who needs one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:15 AM Flag
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Np. This is me also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:17 AM Flag
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I'm with you, though I don't even have a job to keep me busy. I just moved back to the city and have the kids in a new school so no parent friends and nothing to do on the weekends that isn't with the kids. I do have one friend, but she's in a new relationship and doesn't have much time these days so it's pretty lonely. DH travels a lot so date nights are rare, and I've started taking the kids out to dinner a lot, just to feel like I have a social life, which depresses me more. I'm hopeful that once I find a job, at least I'll have something more to do. So I don't have advice for you, but you're not alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:01 AM Flag
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Call a friend and make plans. Solved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on Bucknell? DC thinking about applying ED. NYC private, excellent grades, creative, mediocre SAT (but Bucknell went test optional this year). 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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My daughter applied to Lehigh and didn't get in. I went back into my old email to find a quote from an old boss of mine during the application year: "So, X is going into her senior year at Bucknell. Coming from Yale before we toured I actually didn't know those Lehigh Valley schools existed (Lehigh, Lafayette, Bucknell, etc) but those schools are populated by the happiest bunch of smart kids I've ever seen. So, if lower level D1 is something your daughter would be interested in, I'm a big fan of Lehigh." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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BTW if it matters, she went to Oberlin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Thank you! Helpful. She probably can't get in to Lehigh with her scores (and that hill!), but Lafayette is still on the list, just a bit small... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Any other ideas for schools with a similar vibe? Nothing under 3,000 undergrads. TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Villanova University [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Don't want any religious affiliation... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Dickinson, Swarthmore, Haverford, Gettysburg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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kid with mediocre SAT not getting into Swarthmore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:57 AM Flag
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or Haverford [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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I had no idea Lehigh had gotten so competitive! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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So many schools have gotten crazy competitive including Lehigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Have you visited? Went to Lafayette and Lehigh this summer and the area was really depressing. Shut down factories practically on campus. No kind of town. We did not get to Bucknell. I toured there many years ago as an applicant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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We went twice, it's beautiful and a cute college town. Definitely better than Bethlehem! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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Beautiful campus in the middle of nowhere. Good academics but party school full of rich, white private school kids. Very little diversity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Seems they are actively trying to improve that...one of the reasons they went test optional...and they made sure to have a diverse panel of students and faculty present at the open house and marketing material as might be expected... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Are there any schools that are not "party" schools?? It's college...and they are teenagers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Every college doesn’t have a dedicated “frat row” lined with frat houses that look like mansions where beer is openly served to underaged kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Most schools with Greek life have frat houses...if not frat houses, other alternatives and almost always some drinking and partying... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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Yes however the fact that Bucknell is located in such an isolated place, there aren’t many options for going out off campus. So there is are a lot of parties on campus every weekend bc there’s nothing else to do. It’s still a great school. But it’s a known party school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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I hear you, but I think this is the case for schools in big cities also, but that adds bars/clubs to the mix so a different type of partying. So curious what you would use an an example of a non-party school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I not here claiming to be some expert on colleges, I’m speaking from personal experience. But you can also google it and that’s a reputation that’s associated with the place. I guess a non party school would be somewhere that doesn’t have such a heavy presence of frats and sororities and filled with spoiled rich Ivy rejects. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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That is harsh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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np- I went to Bucknell, and in the early 2000s, it was a party school. There was nothing to do on weekends besides drink (the student union etc tried to have other activities but they were sparsely attended by awkward kids). In retrospect I wish I had attended a more well rounded college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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Did you get a strong education? Make friends? Receive career support? Have fun? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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Yes, sort of, no, yes (but it involved drinking with the purpose of getting drunk, at every social event, a habit that stuck with me in my 20s and I'm not thrilled I did that to my body) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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I agree. Even Georgia Tech has a frat row [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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This was u penn in the 90s. What’s your point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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Which part? UPenn is Ivy and in Philly, totally different schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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fwiw, if you are rich and white it isn't really test-optional. That's just a way to get more applications, and more diverse candidates. Signed someone who has been in admissions at a highly ranked TO school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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NP. I've heard this, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Yeah there was an article on this in his weekend’s NYT magazine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:23 AM Flag
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Did you look at other LAC? What about Connecticut College? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Yes, but most are less than 2,500 undergrads and that's too small for DC.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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What quartile is she in within her private school? That should give you th best idea as to where she’s going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Top 20% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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Then Bucknell should be no issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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One of the happiest, most genuine, most curious, most professionally-fulfilled women I know went to Bucknell, but I don't know how much of it has to do with the school and how much is just the way she is determined to be in life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 09:17 AM Flag
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My friend’s husband went there. He’s a really smart, kind guy. Went on to law school at Duke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:58 AM Flag
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nothing to do but drink. have you seen it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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I went to Bucknell in early 2000s. Had some truly amazing professors there who went above and beyond with their students. Went on to a top 10 law school. I was a minority and did not have any issues making friends. I will say that everything was very campus and Greek centered which can get old by senior year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:29 PM Flag
[ - ] PSA: A lot of the more extreme yoga poses are really bad for you 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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PSA: Yoga will be over soon and we will move on to some other wellness trend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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Yoga has literally been around for centuries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Not in the way it is now. It's been overtaken by rich white women talking about how it changed their lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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It’s your choice on where you shop and spend your money. Yoga isn’t bad for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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Never said it was. But it's been commodified in a way that it was not previously. People are being led to believe that if they follow a certain practice and guru they will be transformed spiritually. I personally think that is probably BS but I know others disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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Yoga alliance includes the spiritual too. It’s like eating kosher without being Jewish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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Seconding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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This. It has also been around in the US for decades. Way less trendy than HIIT and even spinning. Real studios they practice a more pure form are the way to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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Or cross fit or barre [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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Which ones are considered extreme? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Want a new wool area rug for my living room. Where to shop? Don't want something too traditional (that is what I have now), but don't want total contemporary either. Budget up to 2K for 6x9 or 8x10, but prefer less. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 09.14.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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ABC Home has a variety of styles, but can be expensive. Some sales though and they do negotiate on rugs (I've done it). The Rug shop is across the street from the main location. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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They also have a huge outlet in sunset park that is worth the trip as it is in Industry City which is really fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:51 PM Flag
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Went today. They are down to one store in Manhattan. The selection for smaller rugs was not great. Saw some beautiful huge rugs, that were beyond my means, but nothing on the smaller side. Was very sad. The whole store in Manhattan is down to one location on three floors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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That price range is more like Wayfair. I am looking for an 8x10 and 2k is above my budget but I saw some nice ones on way fair. Also try RH and CB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:00 AM Flag
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+1 you'll need to look at Wayfair, Overstock.com, and maybe Pottery Barn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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don't buy from wayfair. They are supplying the ICE camps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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I got a great wool rug from e sale rugs, and I also like some vintage wool rugs that are in that price range. I follow someone who sells them on instagram. They are gorgeous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:09 AM Flag
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I just got a nice 5x8 from World Market that was around $500, and the 8x10 version was just under 1k I believe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:05 AM Flag
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IKEA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:47 AM Flag
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Ikea, CB2, West Elm. Also consider FLOR tiles, we just got some for dining room, were very surprised by what we saw in the store, unexpectedly nice for a relatively inexpensive product. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here who had a chronically oppositional, defiant, difficult younger kid that learned to emotionally regulate and became a calmer and more successful child as they aged? dh is in literally tears today after our 6 yo put us through the shredder by making himself as challenging as possible in nearly every scenario. 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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Yes. My ex still says to this day that parenting him was what ended the marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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can you give more details? how is he doing now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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I can only share my experience that based on what you're describing, he's either a ds whose behaviors will get worse as he grows and gets more complicated ... or he is showing signs of being very, very smart, but he's going to be a hell of a teenager if what he loves to do is argue and manipulate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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NP: can you share your experience. I have 7 yo like that. He always were very oppositional and defiant. It became easier as he learned boundaries. Still he loves to argue and manipulate and he is very very smart. I am very worried how he is going to turn out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Hang on for dear life. Do not abandon him. Try to guide him back to the principles he should have. There's no one blanket solution. While parenting my son I used to say, "either I'm the worst parent in the world or I am the grand master champion of parenting if he comes out okay." You're never completely sure which side of the fence you're on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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op here - omg this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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which side of the fence were you on as it turned out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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NP: I posted below...I recommend that you get The Explosive Child (Ross Greene), Transforming the Difficult Child (Harold Glasser), and Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults (James Webb). All of the ways you think you should be parenting a kid like you describe are wrong and backfire. You've likely gotten into a cycle where they're always pushing buttons and you're always punishing; if you don't break that cycle (and it HAS to be you that breaks it), you don't have a fighting chance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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I have explosive child - but you're right. I read it and then follow for a while then one day just am tired or forget and get back into the rut over and over and over. It's like if I'm at 100% then I can do it right but if you have an off day/ hour/ moment it goes off the rails. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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So this. We are in the same situation. Stresses for the adults and then we get off the program. And then it sucks around here. I sympathize. And I'll think of you as I try to get back on track. Courage!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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TY!!!!! you too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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I can't tell if smarts factor in with mine. He did do ok on the g&t but the g&t is kind of bs. He certainly is not keen to read a bunch! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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NP: kids now on internet. Min watches a lot of documentaries/science programs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:42 PM Flag
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First, have him physically evaluated. Clue his pediatrician in. There can be a health issue that can cause behavioral defiance. My dc has allergies (I know what others might say) but he's actually anaphylactic to milk. As a child he wasn't as allergic to it but became tantrum-y, hard to deal with and restless. It wasn't until we did a full milk-free diet that his behavior cleared up. Also hearing--he was also borderline deficient in hearing so he was struggling with behavior due to that. I'd get a physical done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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we just had one - i hadn't considered milk or allergies though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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You’ve been posting this every couple of days. go away! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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I haven't seen it before but would like to know what advice has been given. Anyone links to the previous posts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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I actually have not posted anything about ds for several months. A. I'm sure this is a VERY common issue and b. you sound like a complete asshole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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B found the cause of your problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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Yes. Finally had him evaluated by a neuropsych, and he's off the charts smart. Turns out that his defiance/behaviors were actually completely typical for kids like him who are put in situations where their minds aren't stimulated. Told us we could keep trying to fix the kid (which would not be successful), or we could fix his environment. We opted for the second, and today he's the most amazing teenager I can imagine having. When he was 6, I would have told you that he'd be institutionalized or in military school by now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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what did you do to fix his environment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I think we should see a neuropsychologist for my son. But there’s nothing “wrong” with him so I don’t even know what to ask for an evaluation for. He is exactly what you describe though. We have three kids and he’s killing us, at only four. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Advice from teachers and a parenting expert range from : “give him fewer choices and more routine” to “he needs to feel in control of something, give him more responsibility.” I think he’s wickedly smart. But I have no idea how to “fix his environment.” He watches no TV. He plays outside in the Park almost every day. He does gymnastics class. He is read to 10x day. Very little sweets, no juice. Sleeps 12-13 hours a day. WTF do I need to do?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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Time is your friend. Mine is a dream now. Started getting better 4th grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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NP: each time when I think that he became wavier to handle something happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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See below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:49 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Google “pathological demand avoidance”. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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wow this is interesting. quite possibly fits the bill! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Yeah, it’s a relatively new subset of autism. I think one of my son’s may have this. On another note, I saw a quote the other day that struck a chord w me, “every time you call a kid “attention seeking” this year, consider changing it to “connecting seeking” and see how your perspective changes”. I have two sons and one can be exhausting. Sweetest kid, but there is a “nope” at every turn. It’s very easy to become fed up and for me to shut down my empathy/sympathy, but I’m doing him and me a disservice by not continuing to try to understand the underlying reason for how he handles various situations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:47 AM Flag
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*connection seeking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 11:48 AM Flag
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THIS! A thousand times! Connect, connect, connect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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That’s an unfair way of blaming the parents for what is potentially a biological problem. I am a SAHM and I have three kids. Every one of them would sit on my lap all day long if I would let them. There has to be something other than “give that child More focused attention to the exclusion of all else.” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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Wow. You really took license w your interpretation of that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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it is about making the emotional connection, not physically holding them all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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All day long kids are told what to do...what to eat, what to wear, how to behave...eventually they are going to get totally sick of it...as we all would. Give your child more choices. Eventually, you want your kid to make his/her own choices, so start by giving more choices...not open ended ones, but do you want to do a or b. And, don't forget all week long kids are told what to do in school and then assessed constantly. It is a pressure cooker for them even if we don't realize it. Also, give your child totally free time to do with as he/she wants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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Is your child getting enough deep sleep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Wow. You post is full of psychobabble. Do you spend a lot of time in therapy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Coming back from a visit to babson college, my ds lived it. Anyone have any opinions or have any insights on this school. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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What will ds study? I am in the humanities (not their focus, I know) and have a great deal of respect for Elizabeth Swanson's human rights/arts work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:37 PM Flag
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np--Thanks, I just read about her. I advised my dc to try to take classes from professors other students said were great. It didn't have to be in my dc's field of study. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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A bunch of my friends went there. They liked it and all went on have good careers. It is a business school. Not the typical New England liberal arts college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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I think Babson is the Mary, Bentley is the Rhoda [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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Lol. Boston mom here. I think Babson has more of a national profile esp for business? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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Yes, it always has. Bentley is up and coming, though, in the area. Kind of like how WUSTL and Wisconsin slowly made the national scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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A Babson degree has currency for Business. No point in going there if that’s not your ultimate goal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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They are right next to Olin College of Engineering which has rapidly become nearly as difficult to enter as MIT and Babson students have the right to take classes there if they are into engineering in any way shape or form... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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I went to Wellesley many years ago and took an accounting course at Babson. At the time, I did not love that school, but that was a long time ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:28 PM Flag
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Op,ds definetely wants business. He liked that he liked the small size, the setting and how involved and ambitious the students seemed. He also likes that he would be able to play tennis for them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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I have never met a single person who went to Babson. IIRC, it was immortalized in the Official Preppy Handbook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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He is preppy leaning, i guess thats why he likes it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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The Preppy Handbook was such a great book. I can understand why it hasn't had reprint runs, but it was such a great premise. I have the 2nd book, True Prep, but it just hasn't been the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Author of Preppy Handbook went to part of what has become UB most hated school, Birch Wathen Lenox. Very unpreppy school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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Never heard of it. But that isn't important. Just figure out what degree dc will get and how it will relate to life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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My husband went there a long time ago. Many of the people he graduated w have been successful career wise as has my husband. He likes to say it’s where the rich kids who couldn’t get in to Harvard and MIT go, but that was then. He also told me that Branson aimed to produce entrepreneurs. It was good back then, but it’s reputation has really come up in the last many years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know how to euthanize a fish? We have one fish that is clearly dying and the others keep acting aggressively towards it. How can I put it out of its misery? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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Got a cat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:21 PM Flag
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Pull it out of the tank. I heard where fish can’t breath out of water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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I want to end it's suffering not increase it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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LOLOLOLOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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I have fish that winter over outside, but I have to drop a heater and a bubbler in to keep the water from actually freezing over. Put your fish in a sealed ziplock, half air, half their regular water. Put it into the freezer. In the dark and cold they will simply go into a fast hibernation and not know the difference. By the time the water actually freezes, they are well out of being actively conscious. It's very humane and very natural. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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I have to believe my random knowledge somehow serves the universe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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It does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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:) I am sorry about your fishy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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Genius! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Add gin until fish stops moving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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Vodka? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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After Labor Day, brown liquor only. Don’t insult the poor soon-to-be-departed by suggesting it might not adhere to the dietary laws (episcopalian). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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Got it. Peace be with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:36 AM Flag
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Thus endeth the lesson for today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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You can separate it in the tank or put it in ice water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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don't put it directly into ice water. You have to gradually lower the temperature, in the dark. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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