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[ - ] Granny mom, fine but does anyone else feel that electronics have completely destroyed this generation? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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You sound like a dinosaur. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:00 PM Flag
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Completely destroyed? No. Yes, I think there are some things we've lost, but we haven't been destroyed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:01 PM Flag
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Didn't Plato complain that the teens of his era had gone amuck? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:01 PM Flag
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+1 they said the same thing about your generation too. probably blamed television or telephones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:08 PM Flag
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The IPAD and IPHONE is controlling my brain..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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it has destroyed their independence and ability to handle problems on their own. They know they can always call a parent and reach them through the mobile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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YES. Not electronics per se, because the internet is a wonderful tool. Its' the programming/content of what our kids are exposed to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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Non- granny mom and yes I agree 100%. We are pathetic drones, obsessed with image crafting and devoid of social graces. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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I'm a young mom (well, I was when I had my babies) and I believe technology has in many ways screwed this generation. It's depressing. I'm thankful I had a childhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:13 PM Flag
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You sound naive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:24 PM Flag
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No, she doesn't. It pains me to see a kid with his face glued to an iPad. A lot of these kids lack the ability to relate to others without technology being involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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I posted before I was in a 2 Michelin Star restaurant in Paris a few weeks ago and the family next to me had the mom and two kids glued to iPhones. They only put them down to quickly eat each course. The dad was just sitting there. They were Americans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:43 PM Flag
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I do. I think kids are losing the ability to communicate well with others. A test message with a smiley face is not sophisticated communication. http://www.npr.org/blogs/ed/2014/08/28/343735856/kids-and-screen-time-what-does-the-research-say [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:55 PM Flag
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I didn't allow it when the kids where very little and it seemed to have worked. My oldest is not addicted and doesn't spend much time in-front of the screen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:02 PM Flag
[ - ] RZ says she didn't have any work she is just embracing a more healthy lifestyle. Do you believe her? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:56 PM Flag
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nobody does that from a healthy place. sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:56 PM Flag
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the atlantic did a great piece on this. (oddly enough) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:58 PM Flag
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She must think we are morons. She doesn't even look like the same person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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Who cares [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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There is not a single celebrity out there without significant work done. Not one. Even the young ones like precious Jennifer lawrence who espouses all this 'I'm so down to earth' nonsense. So why are we picking on RZ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:03 PM Flag
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Exactly JL had breast implants, Jennifer Aniston claims she does yoga. She has had botox, filler, trainers and lifts weights like crazy, Angelina has done everything under the sun. They all just lie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:05 PM Flag
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it's different when you change your whole face. it just is. if you can't see it, you're lying to yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:07 PM Flag
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because the degree of self hatred involved in that much body dysmorphia is startling and sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:06 PM Flag
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I don't think it's self hatred. I think they do one thing, then two, down the line something doesn't come out right so they try and correct it and this is what happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:09 PM Flag
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plastic surgeons are taught to really probe folks that want to fundamentally change the way they look. clearly, her surgeons did not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:26 PM Flag
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More like narcissism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:15 PM Flag
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because most celebrities make their surgical changes gradually, so that you barely notice. rz stepped out with a different face like no one was supposed to notice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:10 PM Flag
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Cannot stand JL. She is the least gracious of any celebrity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:15 PM Flag
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Who is RZ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:03 PM Flag
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Renee Zellweger [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:06 PM Flag
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I don't think she is denying work done, she is just saying that she looks different b/c she feels different and is taking care of herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:13 PM Flag
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Which is total utter bullshit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:30 PM Flag
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I thought you meant Rachel Zoe. Oops! Renee Z definitely had her eyes done. She looks better than she used to, but she looks like an entirely different person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:33 PM Flag
[ - ] 7 weeks pregnant and up until last night I thought my dh wasn't embracing or processing it at all. But last night we were in bed cuddling (I was on my stomach with my arm over him) and he said sweetie I have no idea and because I don't know anything about babies but do you think there's any way you could smush it a little if you lie on your stomach? It's a little naive but I'm really touched that he's feeling connected to and protective of the baby. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:51 PM Flag
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sweet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:56 PM Flag
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Awwww very cute and sweet. Just be ready for sleepless nights (and possible arguments w/ dh over it as a result). GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:57 PM Flag
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Thanks ladies :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:57 PM Flag
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Hmmmm sounds like a criticism actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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I thought someone might post that but he's not like that. He's not prefect but he doesn't have control issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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She doth protest too much. Sure, whatever you say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:50 PM Flag
[ - ] http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/10/21/international-traveler-held-at-newark-hospital-after-possible-ebola-exposure/ 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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Oh great, this is going to start again. EBOOOOOOOOOOLA! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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Close the freaking borders!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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A impossible. B stupid. C unnecessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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D: All of the above [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:03 PM Flag
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not stupid or unnecessary to close down travel from ebola countries. Why do we need more liberians here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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Why do we NEED you here in the US? Serious question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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np: The person in question was on a flight from Belgium. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:37 PM Flag
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close the freaking borders! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:55 PM Flag
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Ebola mom is still alive! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Any ideas for "project-based" activity for 7-y.o. girls today? DD has playdate, we were going to the Bronx Zoo. That got scratched and my backup was AMNH. Other mom wants an indoor activity where her DD can do a project. Think she might feel guilty bc she isn't even going with us. Suggestions welcome. TIA 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:33 PM Flag
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Are you homeschooling? AMNH is great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:34 PM Flag
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Go to AMNH and then do a project based on what you saw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:41 PM Flag
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Do a scavenger hunt where you try to find random things in the Bronx zoo and photograph them (disposable cameras still exist?) print at Duane reade and make a scrap book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:42 PM Flag
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It's raining. I assume that's why she canceled the Bronx Zoo. That said, you could do a scavenger hunt at AMNH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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Omg your playdates are so involved! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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I was thinking the same! My 8 year old just plays with his friends. Not to say we never take a kid with us to a museum, but it's the exception. Mostly they roll around, draw, have sword fights, play Battleship or some other game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:48 PM Flag
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OP: I'm happy with that. But this mom wants projects. Hard to find now when most other NYC kids are in school this week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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Is she hosting because if not why is she dictating what you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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Geez was just going to post the same thing. If she "wants a project" she should figure it out. That said, around 7 or 8 my dd loved making up recipes and cooking when she had friends over. It makes a god awful mess and seldom really tastes like much, bit they always had a great time and started to get a sense of how ingredients worked together so I didn't feel too bad about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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Ita. Play dates are for unstructured play time. Give them a bunch of craft supplies and let them have a go at it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:14 PM Flag
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Why, indeed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:44 PM Flag
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Why can't they just play? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:50 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:58 PM Flag
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Training DD young not to have any educational aspirations, eh? Nice work SAHM! Me likey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:51 PM Flag
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NP: What??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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Why isn't DD in SCHOOL on a Wed? Duh. Clearly you don't value education either. Another SAHM! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:51 PM Flag
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IDK about the girls, but the mom is certainly spending way too much time planning this that she needs to get a hobby of her own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:05 PM Flag
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YOu're overthinking this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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It's way overpriced in my opinion, but Make Meaning is really popular and has nice arts and crafts activities that you can take home (i.e. ceramics, soap making, cake decorating, jewelry). It's on the UES. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:11 PM Flag
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I think there is one on UWS too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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Good grief. Just let them play. Going to a museum is a project based activity: you can tell the other mom: We went to the museum. We looked at dinosaurs and talked about their teeth (or whatever). Done. You can also say: you host the next playdate and plan an activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:27 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:45 PM Flag
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why does the other mom get to dictate what you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:05 PM Flag
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The real question! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh has no sex drive - I have to get out of this g-d forsaken union. Give me strength. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:26 PM Flag
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You have to spice it up a little. Maybe that helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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Has it always been like this? Is he a good husband otherwise? You may just have to suck it up and get a great vibrator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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Or literally, suck it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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You picked him! Stop playing the victim. JFC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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Jfc? Really - so marriage has to be a life sentence? Fo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:00 PM Flag
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That's not what I said. Re-read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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Is he gay or old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:54 PM Flag
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My DH has no sex drive either. I know how frustrating it can be. All of the women on here with normal SD women do not understand that it's usually not possible to "seduce" them. They don't know the intense feeling of rejection and insecurity that comes from having your DH, who is "supposed to" want sex more than you, turn you down night after night. Some will say he's gay, some will claim he's cheating, others will accuse you of getting fat and old. Only another wife in your shoes (like myself) understands what you're going through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:03 PM Flag
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Well said. Same situation here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:15 PM Flag
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+2 (another in a sexless marriage) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:41 PM Flag
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Find one of your friends who is going through menopause and has zero interest in sex, and fuck her husband [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:08 PM Flag
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you wouldn't happen to be such a DH yourself, now, would you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:16 PM Flag
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No comment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:17 PM Flag
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slip him something natural in a daily smoothie. I've been known to do this. Bring some porn into the bedroom? Mine has low drive but I can get it up some nights... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Is anyone getting their dc the Leap Frog activity watch for the holidays? Or do your dc's have one already? Wondering if it's worth it. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:14 PM Flag
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What's the point of the device, so DCs can permanently have electronic gsmes strapped to their bodies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:15 PM Flag
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Op. Good point. Its suppose to get them active (dc already is) as well as learn on the go? ( dc is doing that as well). But I'm really wondering how children are reacting to it. If they really enjoy it or is it something theyll play with today and forget about tomorrow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:19 PM Flag
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Sounds like a clever marketing device, playing off fitbit. Would not get this for anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:33 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:35 PM Flag
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Is it a tracking device? No thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:37 PM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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If you have a normally active kid I don't see the point of this at all. Isn't the fit it concept just to get middle aged people off their butts more? Kids don't need that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:58 PM Flag
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No way. No electronics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:57 PM Flag
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I don't buy my kids electronics. If MIL wants to buy them some I'm ok with it but I do not go out of my way to get them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:31 PM Flag
[ - ] My dh constantly blames others for his failures and dumps his problems on me when I least expect it and then blames me for flying into rage as in I react negatively or get frustrated. This morning as I am getting 3 kids ready for school/nursery he tells me he is in trouble at work because he missed an important email. He implies that its my fault because I picked a fight with him. I get frustrated over this occupation and he proceeds to tell me that I need not fly into rage. I don't know what to do. I am so tired if all this and I have my own issues at work which my dh doesn't care 1 iota about as he knows I will be responsible and get new job if necessary. WWYD? 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:56 AM Flag
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Leave him he sounds like an immature loser [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:23 PM Flag
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+1 ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:37 PM Flag
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Please tell me this is not the guy who can't get it toughether to get 10yo to public school on time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:27 PM Flag
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Yep. Now he is blaming me for work issues because of yesterdays fight. He always does this. Punishes me and tells me he will lose his job because of me. Then occluded me if having anger issues. He knows exactly how to trigger the anger. I just don't know what to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:32 PM Flag
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^Accused [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:33 PM Flag
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This guy sucks ass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:34 PM Flag
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He just doesn't get what he is doing. I really don't know how to keep myself calm with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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I went through something similar with my DH. We're now in therapy. He is sort of working on his issues. I am definitely learning to deal with him better. Things seem to be getting better. We got to therapy because I basically threatened to leave. And it wasn't a threat, it was a plan. I thought we'd be separated by now, but miraculously things are ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:40 PM Flag
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Are you in NYC? Can you suggest a therapist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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^ we have 3 kids. My dh lives them and they love him. I don't want to leave but I don't know how to deal with him and how to avoid reacting to his accusations and his lateness and his constant work issues that are somehow my fault [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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For me it just got to the point where I couldn't stand to be around him anymore. I also have 2 DCs and never thought I'd be divorced but I was at (or past) that breaking point. Getting really angry seemed to shake him up and get him scared. It wasn't my intention but it started a process that has been positive. I do recommend therapy - I got my referral from our EAP at work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:23 PM Flag
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You know the answer here. I only read the post yesterday and didn't reply but I think thr posters telling you to focus on getting 10yo to school as #2 priority were spot on. Set out breakfast and clothes for other two if you don't have time to do more for them before you leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:37 PM Flag
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^#1 not 2! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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NP: This is not the issue today!!! read the original post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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Tell him that the morning time is NEVER the right time to have ANY conversation abt anything except what needs to happen around getting out the door. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:38 PM Flag
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When you have this conversation, do not allow him to mention your "rage" reaction. this is not a topic of conversation hen you are establishing what are appropriate conversations during the morning head-out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:42 PM Flag
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^ Finally, change the use of the word "rage." It may be ok technically to call it that- whatever. But he is using that word far too negatively and you are being criticized and shut-up by the use of that word. from now on call it- my reaction, my frustration, my resentment, my exasperation, anything that puts more onus on him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:46 PM Flag
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Yes and say it calmly and go about your business and simply ignore any other talk from him... He's trying to hook you OP, don't fall for it... When you don't give him that kind of power over you, he will finally shut up... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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I just texted this to him. He does very little but just get himself ready while I pack lunches, cook b-fast, make sure kids are dressed and ready to go. My youngest is 2 yo. It's not easy and takes focus and its stressful to get it all done on time. When I am stressed and he either isn't ready himself or brings up additional issues I do snap. I don't know why he does this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:45 PM Flag
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Forget abt trying to figure him out- any and all the reasons he does this are "bad."- he's not considerate, he thinks of himself first, he WANTS you to explode and then criticize you, he doesn't care abt the kids, he's lazy, he's irresponsible, OR a combination of these and maybe some others. it doesn't matter. Pretend: I have no husband in the morning. its hard and you are resentful but do it. You are constantly trying to get more out of him in the AM. He wont do it. He wont do it. He wont do it. For whatever reason- just accept it- he wont do it. Its not right. Its not fair. Its not loving. But he wont do it. You do it all. Show him you can. Show him you can and he MAY say to himself- 1. she doesn't need me maybe I better do better or 2. let me find another way to bug the shit out of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:52 PM Flag
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^ And don't text him abt the topics (ONLY logistics abt getting out the door) that can be discussed in the AM. Tell him face to face and make sure he says- YES, I understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:53 PM Flag
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Thanks!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:24 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:55 PM Flag
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Hmmm let's see... so according to you, HE's the source of the problem and according to him, YOU're the source of the problem. Nothing new here. This is who you chose to have 3 DCs with... did he get a personality transplant or something? What makes you think your sh^t doesn't stink just as bad as his? JFC. It takes TWO in this kind of dance. Get help for yourself first before insisting he hop on the bandwagon of the "it's all DH's fault" bandwagon. Be honest... you DO rage, don't you? His behavior gives you a convenient reason to avoid looking at the face you are emotionally reactive and don't know how to regulate your frustration and anger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:58 PM Flag
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Don't listen to this. he is the source of the problem. FACT: 1. the morning rush is never a wise or appropriate time to discuss work issues or other. the only real topic that can be covered is how to head out that door. Sure we all make the MISTAKE of talking about an important issue in what 10 seconds as we tear through breakfast and jackets but that doesn't make it wise to bring these things up at this time, he should not be brining these issues up 2. he doesn't help you. That is on him. It is not courteous. If a decent stranger in the street, has or could conceivably do more for you in the same situation, then he is F*(U9-u op. Period. If he takes care of 1 and 2 THEN and only then come talk to me about your frustration/reaction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:05 PM Flag
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np- I really like you and wish we could be friends irl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:30 PM Flag
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awww- so sweet- I neeeeded that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:33 PM Flag
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OP: I am not blameless. I do react. I definitely did not fly into rage this am though. I got frustrated over his occupation but I didn't raise my voice just said " you sent me 3 or 4 text msgs, this doesn't give you am excuse to blame your work issues in me. Msgs didn't take you all day". He calls this rage. I was angry and yelling yesterday that I do admit and I hate myself after. I don't expect him to help just take kids to school as that's huge help and this gives me 30 minutes to get ready for work and cleanup post b-fast mass after they leave. He is never home from work until all kids are in bed so I actually see him very little outside the weekend and he helps non stop on the weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:31 PM Flag
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Accusation .. I am an idiot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:37 PM Flag
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^ me again: LISTEN TO me- and stop listening to yourself! "I hate myself after."-- NO, NO, No. 3 F&&*( kids!! Three! Its a wonder you are alive. ok- 1. he talks about work at the wrong time and you quite reasonably pointed out that you are not to blame for his work troubles. Good you said that because IF YOU HADNT and had kept your mouth shut- it would have been like you were agreeing. now- there will be no more of those discussions in the AM. 2. Don't hate yourself. You're not perfect. Is he walking around hating himself for being terrible in the morning??!No- he MAY be walking around hating himself and he is using you to fell better about all his problems by driving you nuts in the am. Don't hate yourself, hold your head up high. you are here trying- posting and TRYING to find a solution, 3. you need him to help with taking the kids to school. That's a problem. that's where he has you over a barrel. that has to change. You have to do it all. sitter, waking up earlier, having a kid wait til school pen, I don't know. But remember: you don't have husband in the AM, 4. I am very happy to hear that he helps non stop on the weekends. For whatever, reason it is easier for him on the week-ends. he doesn't get a million points for being good on the week-end. Can I be a great week-end mom and leave it at that? FY*Y(* no! I am 24/7 when while at work- 24/7. It is easier for him on the week-ends but he needs to expand that sense of duty to the AM, 5 days a week. Don't cut him any slack. unless, you are willing to lie around until noon and let your kids get to school on your own. take this off his plate, see how he reacts. Don't do it with resentment. But do it. And give it weeks- even a month and watch him and then post again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:48 PM Flag
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OR HERE. 1) ignore the lunatic with the long ass replies. 2) the lunatic is telling you your DH is a POS. That is horrible advice because it basically it means it's all out of your control and the result of someone else's stable, internal characteristics and that there is no point in trying to change things because it won't work. This type of thinking only increases anger and a sense of feeling powerless and helpless and will only further fuel your rage. 3) the morning pattern is a reflection of deeper emotional pattern between the two of you. 4) start with yourself- seriously- consider therapy( for learning some DBT skills). You might be surprised how things can change. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:57 PM Flag
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^ me again. LOl! I agree with 90% of what the poster above said: "it basically it means it's all out of your control and the result of someone else's stable, internal characteristics and that there is no point in trying to change things because it won't work. This type of thinking only increases anger and a sense of feeling powerless and helpless and will only further fuel your rage. 3) the morning pattern is a reflection of deeper emotional pattern between the two of you." But my advice still stands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:02 PM Flag
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except!- take control of this situation but don't be resentful and get more angry. the point is to take this off his plate and take matters into your won hands. be glad you can do this. and find relief in a new morning experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:08 PM Flag
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OP: IA with this. I handle dinner, bed time, hw all by myself every evening. My dh isn't home so I am not frustrated. I am used to him not helping. When he travels for work I have no one but myself and I handle it just fine. It is partially my own expectations when he is present and he also takes up the bathroom, distracts me with the conversations about his work issues etc. He is not horrible at all but just doesn't seem to get how difficult the morning is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:20 PM Flag
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Thank you so so very much! I really appreciate this and YOU ARE RIGHT. I need to not count on him. Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:59 PM Flag
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Wow that's a really great attitude for a successful marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:17 PM Flag
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What do you suggest? If I count on him I get very upset because he lets me down. So it is either letting go of any expectations thus not angry or constant let downs and anger that follows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:21 PM Flag
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If you plan to never count on him what's the point of staying married? And it's totally unrealistic to think you can force yourself to simply never count on him. If that were possible you would already have done that. I suggest you consider that there are OTHER so,unions to this problem that you simply cannot and will not be able to see or grasp because you are part of the problem as much as your DH is part of the problem. It requires a paradigm shift that you're not going to get from a quick post on UB. Either start with a couples counselor or seek out individual therapist who knows about DBT /interpersonal effectiveness skills & emotion regulation skills. You have a very limited repertoire of adaptive coping skills and need more no matter what you end up doing with your marriage. If not for yourself- then to set an example for your DCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:31 PM Flag
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^Solutions, not "so,unions." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:31 PM Flag
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^ me. She has a very limited repertoire of adaptive coping skills? how would you know that exactly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:34 PM Flag
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^ me- again! How is she part of the AM problem-- exactly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:35 PM Flag
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You are suggesting I stop have any control over my life choices (as perceived as this control maybe) and just allow my dh to f&&& up our lives and just take what I get and don't get upset? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:39 PM Flag
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^ me It's not "an attitude" for a successful marriage. It's a reaction to a specific situation in this partnership. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:33 PM Flag
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Get marriage counseling. Regardless of whose "fault" this is, it isn't a healthy way for you, him, or your kids to live. You need to address both of your behaviors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:12 PM Flag
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^ don't do this yet, try above first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you expect a person on the Board of a trustees or board of education of your school to be a college graduate? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.22.14, 11:37 AM Flag
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^of trustees [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:38 AM Flag
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no. Zuck dropped out and he is successful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:38 AM Flag
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Ok besides zuck and bill gates who were actually admitted to Harvard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:17 PM Flag
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Graduating is over rated see Bill Gates [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:39 AM Flag
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You guys need to get off Gates' s jock already though. The reason he was successful with Microsoft is that his grandfather was a prominent patent lawyer who showed him how to grab the DOS system from the company that actually created it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:48 AM Flag
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you are right and i like you. But a very large number of people become billionaires not because of family connections but because of their smarts and work ethic. Look at Zuckerberg, has dad was a dentist in some suburb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:01 PM Flag
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Also see Sheldon Adelson.. he grew up in a slum where strong boys would mercilessly beat the weak boys but he powered through it without any family wealth and without any elite College [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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Eh - Zuckerberg also got stupid lucky. He created something that thousands of other guys just like him could have made and got lucky because it took off quickly and because the Napster guy had a shit ton of money and nothing to spend it on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:15 PM Flag
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Doubt they would work for the Board of Ed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:16 PM Flag
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Also look at Roman Abramovic - wasn't he an orphan? Or was that Putin? I forgot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:28 PM Flag
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Ok but his admission shows something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:17 PM Flag
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Yes, or at least pretend to be [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:42 AM Flag
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That would be pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:49 PM Flag
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just rich [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:43 AM Flag
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Expect, yes. Demand, no. If I were playing the odds I would guess that each person was, but if someone wasn't, I wouldn't care. Many actors, entrepreneurs, tech people, etc. do not have BA/BS degrees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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i agree with this 100%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:07 PM Flag
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ita. It's not like they're drawing names out of a hat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:13 PM Flag
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No. I expect them to bring da cash and to know how to bring in da cash from others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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I expect them to speak properly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:03 PM Flag
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Then u shall be sorely disappointed. Dis talk made me some serious cash money... ya feel me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:59 PM Flag
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Brian Williams and Peter Jennings did not graduate from college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:43 PM Flag
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But did they attend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:54 PM Flag
[ - ] PAMDS, thoughts? The director seems like she has a stick up her ass and the one room classroom for 3's and 4's is just odd. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:18 AM Flag
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The classroom works very well actually. They have tons of activities. The director is great once you get to know her. She just takes a while to warm up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:47 AM Flag
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+1. Great school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:01 PM Flag
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i know the director personally. she is absolutely lovely. i cannot speak highly enough of her-as a person and as an educator. (we are not a pam family---i knew her long before she took the job). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:06 PM Flag
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Mixed 3s-4s is actually great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:33 PM Flag
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NP: the 3's and 4's are not mixed at PAM. They just use the same space at different times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:01 PM Flag
[ - ] How much would you pay a high school aged baby-sitter per hour? She will watch my three elementary school aged kids (the oldest is actually in middle school and could stay by herself but not with younger siblings). I don't want to short change her but don't want to over pay her too. Her mom is a house cleaner. Maybe I should just ask the mom? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:13 AM Flag
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What would be wrong with overpaying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:27 AM Flag
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Sounds like she wants to short change her. You get what you pay for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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Ask the mom. But probably 10/ h is good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:48 AM Flag
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I would only hire HS sitter if she was cheap. $8? If not I would get someone older [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:59 AM Flag
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$10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:32 PM Flag
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3 kids is a lot. Do you want her to come regularly? If so, $5 per kid per hour is good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:39 PM Flag
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You have to pay at least minimum wage. It's the law. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:04 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:29 PM Flag
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12/hour [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:42 PM Flag
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My friend was the super's kid in a really fancy building and used to watch kids for $15-20/hour back in the late 90's. Just throwing that out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:43 PM Flag
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She ripped you off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:50 PM Flag
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Yeah, we were both 16 and she ripped me off. Smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:02 PM Flag
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Okay. I stand corrected. She ripped off those parents. That is even a ridiculous rate now, for a teenager who lives in the building. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:31 PM Flag
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I understand what you're saying but I don't think she negotiated with these parents. I think that's what she was offered. I remember being a bit shocked but it would have been kind of ridiculous to give her $10/hr when she was babysitting in a $10 million apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:36 PM Flag
[ - ] It has got to be daylight savings this weekend, right? This waking up at 6 and feeling like it's 3am is jarring 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:58 AM Flag
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Had to get to the airport early today and it's horrible that t s barely light out. My butt is dragging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:59 AM Flag
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Until it changes, every morning is going to feel like an early flight at the airport [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:32 AM Flag
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Not until Nov 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:00 AM Flag
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Daylight savings is spring. This is the time of year it's over and you get an extra hour of sleep! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:03 AM Flag
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Hush yourself and go away with your accurate and helpful details [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:31 AM Flag
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I thought the same thing this morning! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:09 AM Flag
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Well, it's raining so that makes the sky even darker [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:49 AM Flag
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Used to sleeping in on your big duff huh? Must be a SAHM! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Uh oh... Ebola in NJ / Newark. Passenger arriving from Sierra Leone has fever & symptoms. Breaking news. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:36 AM Flag
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Why the hell we're letting these people into the U.S. at all is beyond me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 06:10 AM Flag
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These people? Who exactly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:26 AM Flag
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People who've been to West Africa over the past 6 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:34 AM Flag
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The people that constant post these Ebola troll posts trying to incite panic. Why does UB let them in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:45 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:03 PM Flag
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OP. This was my FIRST time posting anything Ebola. I think there's more than one person who is interested in staying abreast of current events. Go scratch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:11 PM Flag
[ - ] I have _________envy 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:08 AM Flag
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Flat stomach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:08 AM Flag
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Me too but maybe more envious of the motivation to get it and keep it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:42 AM Flag
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I actually can't think of anything. I guess that is good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:10 AM Flag
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Ebola [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:44 AM Flag
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Youth - so true that youth is wasted on the young. & I'm not even that old - 42 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:27 AM Flag
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Penis [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:33 AM Flag
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Garden shed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 01:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Does it look unpolished to carry too many bags to work? I just don't know how some women can get away with one small pocketbook? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:59 AM Flag
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I don't think it looks unpolished. That said, I do just carry a purse. And then I bring my notepad with me (just in my hands) if I am going to an off-site meeting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:11 AM Flag
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What's your shoe situation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:14 AM Flag
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Not sure how this is related but I wear heels to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:17 AM Flag
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I carry a tote large enough for my laptop and a small handbag; all goes into the tote to and from work and the handbag comes out at lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:26 AM Flag
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Why do you need to carry your whole world around with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 06:11 AM Flag
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well, np here, but i carry a lot b/c i travel a lot. my purse has an iPad, papers (if necessary), chargers, wallet, lipstick, umbrella, keys, id badge, and an emergency tampon and advil single use pack. it has to be large enough to hold file folders if necessary. if you're going somewhere for a few days, having the emergency stuff in your purse helps a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:13 AM Flag
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It sounds like OP is talking about a daily use, home-to-work-to-back-home purse, not a luggage for a quick overseas jaunt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:24 AM Flag
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it does. i carry one bag. sometimes, it has files and notebooks in it. i typically wear shoes the whole day, i'm not a shoe changer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:10 AM Flag
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I hate carrying more than one bag, but I have to carry my gym bag everyday (or just not work out). So I have a fairly large gym bag and a smaller purse. I don't think this looks unpolished (it just looks like I am active, which is not a bad thing). But, I am not carrying it to meetings, etc, just to the office and back and I not really worried about looking polished at those times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:33 AM Flag
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Gay Uncle here. I feel so liberated now that I got myself a permanent locker and laundry service at my gym. Now I carry gym clothes around nevermore! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 11:49 AM Flag
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What kind of bags, Bag Lady? Are these paper bags, trash bags, grocery bags, or what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:18 PM Flag
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i carry one bag but its not small (or huge). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:26 PM Flag
[ - ] My dc got a pre-k spot in a very good public school. Expected public- even "good" publics, to be somewhat diverse, I mean, like slightly diverse. But I'm beginning to suspect our family- white, educated, in the arts so not super wealthy, is the diversity. Dc very attached to new best friend there and after one play date at their mansion, am realizing they may not want to send their dc to our meager, lucky to be here at all kind of apartment.... So how can i return playdates, or have my kid participate in normal social life? Schools great btw and definitely want to stay the year. Didnt quite foresee this social issue though. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:56 AM Flag
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The invite is the return favor. Screw them if they dont want to accept. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:59 AM Flag
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Invite the other children over to play, and maybe put effort into planning a really fun activity. Refuse to be ashamed of the size of your apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:02 AM Flag
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You think there is a public school in NYC where the majority of students live in mansions? Not hardly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:11 AM Flag
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Uh... Okay, maybe my kid happened to bond with one if the rare mansion kids at this school... But I'm a long time nyker and am aware of class distinctions- if the others are not In Mansions, they're in lofts, etc. we just happen to have a special deal in an area we otherwise could not afford. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:22 AM Flag
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Only mansions I can think of are in Riverdale, parts of Queens, and Bay Ridge. No lofts in those places. Where do you live? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:29 AM Flag
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And all of those places also have cheaper apartments. It's not as if every home is a mansion in any neighborhood. I think this is fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:27 PM Flag
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I live in Forest Hills and there's plenty of economic diversity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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Where do you live that every public school kid is in mansions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 12:59 PM Flag
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OP sounds like one of the pro-SA trolls who post here. Now the excuse that Eva Moskowitz is giving for locating her schools in affluent neighborhoods is "diversity". Those poor students stuck in good neighborhood schools don't have enough "diversity", so Success Academy is trying to help them out by creating schools for them, with a few more carefully selected poor students than their neighborhood publics. What a true Mother Theresa that woman is, always looking out for the well-being of affluent student who need a little more diversity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:48 PM Flag
[ - ] My 4yo dd stood in front of the mirror today as she got ready for a party, and declared, quite dramatically, that she did not like her cheeks. She was almost in tears about it. What would you say to that? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:54 AM Flag
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i understand, let me bite it off! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:02 AM Flag
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It's time to pull her out of private before the damage to her self-esteem is permanent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 06:14 AM Flag
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ok. i'll chop them off. giggle. move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:13 AM Flag
[ - ] Would you please describe your college/education savings approach for your children? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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100k a piece. 2 and 3yo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:09 AM Flag
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$180k 10 yo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 04:46 AM Flag
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I have 70k in 529, 80k in an index fund, and save 1500/month. Child is 9. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:31 AM Flag
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$0. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 10:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Park Slope moms, please recommend a dropin class for a 3.5 y.o. I'll be in Brooklyn with my dd tomorrow and have some time to kill. I'm already on mommypoppins but any leads are appreciated. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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^ drop-in [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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Gymbo Baby [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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Try Massana [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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Just go shopping [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Gross [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.22.14, 02:08 PM Flag
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