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[ - ] My ds had a conflict with a classmate 2 years ago. As far as I know the classmate was not an easy child and has a crazy mom. The conflict was very minor but the mother accused our dc of being a bully, made a huge deal out of it, principal had to get involved etc etc. FF 2 years and my dc is invited to a b-day party for this kid. My dc would like to go but I don't feel it to be appropriate. What do you think? 44 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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I think your kid was not as innocent as you think he was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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I didn't say my dc was innocent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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I'm sure that's true, but then more so, he shouldn't show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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screw that, but you will have to schedule something else fun for your DC at that time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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How old is your son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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May I ask how the age plays into it? He could get there and back on his own BUT I worry about that a little bit given the original conflict. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Maybe I'm crazy - but I deal with a 5 year old differently than a 12 year old. Why didnt you just answer? What's up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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Two years is a long time in the life of a kid. My dc was nastily bullied by a classmate at 7; at 10, they were on the same team and got along fine. If your dc is ok with it, it seems fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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It was more about the mother attacking us and all the accusation she created. I feel very uncomfortable with that family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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You're keeping it going. Don't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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This. Teach your dc to be less petty than you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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I am not being petty. I am concerned this isn't going to go well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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You're being petty. Time for some self reflection and serious thought about how you want to teach your dcs to handle conflict. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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I think staying out of trouble maybe a good option in this situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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Fortunately, the older they get, the less they need parents involved. Let your kid go to the party, be appropriately polite to the mom, and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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Two years is a long time in kid years. Let it go. My DC is good friends with a nice kid who was awful to him a couple of years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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I don't mind my dc being friends with this kid. The kids family and attending a function that is hosted by this family is my concern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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you'd think they'd poison your kid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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I don't believe the mother is mentally stable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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so don't go [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Don't go. Don't engage. If he goes, she will call you later and say he was a bully. She will also tell ALL the other parents that he was a bully. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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This is my concern. Dealing with unstable people is very unpredictable. I can not even imagine under what circumstances she feels its ok to invite our dc after all these accusations and drama. What she was most upset about is that we didn't engage with her during the conflict. I am worried that if my dc doesn't attend she will also attack us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Do not go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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She's nuts. Avoid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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I wouldn't let him go and would find something else to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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Ugh. Why dramatize this? Just go, put the past behind you, the kids have! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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This was never about the kids. It was about the mother. I do not feel comfortable having any interaction with her and neither does dh. We would have to have dc go their alone which is also a bit worrisome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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you're coming off as the crazy one. Seems like you're the only one who can't let it go [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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Of-course I can't let it go. It was a very serious matter at the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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If that's "very serious" you seriously lack perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:12 PM Flag
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I was very concerned for my dc at the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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I have known plenty of crazy moms. Not necessarily about my kid either. She did it to lots of kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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It sounds like a good thing. I would bring peaceful closure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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For whom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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You sound paranoid. You're afraid the mom will attack your child regardless? Whether he goes to this party or not? You're worried about letting your child go to a birthday party alone? Sounds like your child is beyond old enough to go by himself. Why are you making such a big deal? Sounds like the other family is over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:12 PM Flag
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my dc is 10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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This is one of those posts where the OP is being purposely vague. Are we talking elementary school kids? "How" was the principal involved? Seriously, at my kids' elementary school, parents are always talking up the principal about every little "conflict." OUr principal seems to get that it is just anxious/busybody/helicoptering parents and doesn't make a huge deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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Yes, we are talking elementary school. Principal had to get involved because the mother tried to take matters into her own hands with our dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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The mom does sound nuts but if your dc wants to go, I'd let them (so long as it wasn't a bad situation as far as a party without a chaperone, etc.). In 2nd grade, my dd felt really pushed around by a girl who was nasty to her, bossed my dd around. We worked on dd standing up for herself, being confident, ignoring, etc. and now 2 years later and my dd and this kid get along fine. Other kid mellowed, my dd got a bit more confident. So I think if your son is in about 4th/5th grade I'd assume that this was normal kid stuff and it's blown over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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How did your dd stand up to this girl? Imagine if by doing this, your dd got called a bully. Mom of the pushy girl got crazy and tried to find your dd after school dismissal to get her to apologize and screamed at her. Your dd was terrified and was afraid to go to school. Would you think this is normal kid stuff that got blown over? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 08:06 PM Flag
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OP, you sound kind of crazy, frankly. The way you are trying to shift blame onto the other kid speaks volumes. I would not go, because you don't sound like you can handle it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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No, the blame is on the mother of the other child. The issue was always the mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 10:23 PM Flag
[ - ] What in the world happened to the UB search function??? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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Newbie? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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LOLx1mm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Welcome to UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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it hasn't worked since I have been here (5 years?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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"When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, when the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child. Then the search function will work, and not before." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:34 PM Flag
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Love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:41 PM Flag
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Where are my dragons?!?!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:56 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a friend and all she wants is to socialize. She will not have a phone conversion or anything like that. She just wants to hang out and is very pushy about it. She also complains about money being tight yet they eat out, go out etc all the time. I cook, clean and don't have 1/2 the childcare coverage she does (we both WOH) so I spend large part of the weekend cooking and taking care of kids. Do I just stop being friends with her? I feel like all I do is push back... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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Does she have a drinking problem? Does she have an unpleasant home life? I find the people with happy lives tend to be homebodies as their homes are very comfortable places to be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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She doesn't drink but yes she has issues at home. I am a homebody and enjoy my family. I don't have time to constantly hang out with her... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Keep pushing back. She'll eventually get the message. Going out seems to be her crutch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else not getting laid this week due to sleeping arrangements with family visiting? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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Sure, let's go with that for the reason I'm not getting laid this week. It'll be a nice mix up from the usual "I'm too tired". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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"Just wait until the Good Wife is over." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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LOLOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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sorry you are fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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you are such a bitch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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I'm quite certain I'm thinner than you. Karma is coming your way though. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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Sorry you are dumb if this is the best insult you can come up with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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obviously you don't make enough money for your wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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I assumed this was a woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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I rarely ever get it, anyway. My dh doesn't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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you are obviously not tall nor muscular [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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My MIL always has us share the one room pool house with other people. Even after we were married, so we stopped going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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our pool house has 3 brs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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Yes! That's why I posted below asking for role play ideas ... daydreaming about when we get home... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:00 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a tall husband, but when I see men taller than him and more muscular (mostly dads at school) I am so ready to jump their bones. Thanks for the listen. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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Csb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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I have an overweight wife, and I agree. Oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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aw that's sad, hope you are fake?....if not try to find her beauty in other ways and encourage her to be healthy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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It's the truth, though. She spends a ton of money on fruits and vegetables, she pays a trainer $7,000 a year and goes twice a week, she goes running or the to gym when she's in the mood - but she's overweight. It is what it is. But you think it's odd that I'd look fondly at the skinny moms in yoga pants I see around me all the time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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wow! what is the deal? Something health related? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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How 'overweight'? I do all these things and I'm a 5'9 size 6-8. Is that what you're getting at? Or do you mean she's 250 lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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She's your height and weighs just over 200 pounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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Oh, OK. So she needs to quit booze and bread probably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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5'9 and 200 is overweight, but it's not morbidly obese.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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Why is this guy getting flamed when the OP isn't? Double standard much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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Are you a lesbian or some dad on UB? Either way your response makes no sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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he could be bi? or he relates looking at other women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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This cracked me up. Lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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You would jump a woman who is bigger than your wife? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Chuckling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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omg lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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gay redditor posting again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:40 PM Flag
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He must not be that tall then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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he's 6'2" there's something about 6'5" men I think!-OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:12 PM Flag
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OK, that's decently tall. Where do you come across all these men who are even taller? You cannot be in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:14 PM Flag
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NP: I am in NYC, and my husband is 6'6". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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Oy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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how tall? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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6'2" -OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:12 PM Flag
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Reading this I feel really lucky that I'm not attracted to tall men. I know it's totally against the norm, but it leaves a lot of otherwise great guys available! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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My dh is relatively short, and I never used to care either way about the height thing, but for some reason in the past few years I can't stop oggling the tall ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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+1. weird, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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I just turned 42, and I think it's some sort of biological last-ditch effort to reproduce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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wow, interesting and perceptive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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^^^bc i am 42 also. are the men you are noticing black or white? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Just a PSA. Somehow our home phone number has been leaked to some lists where we get a lot of scam calls. Like the one from Texas where a woman told me I had been left money in a will and from the "chimney cleaning service who will be in our area this week." They call spoofing local numbers so sometimes I pick up accidentally thinking it is school related. I just looked up this last number that called a half hour ago and found out they call to do "energy audits" where they first make an appt. by asking when you are NOT at home so they can be sure to do one when you are there - then after they go through your house they now also know when you're gone. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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I have constant scam phone calls. Like 6 to 10 a DAY. Have been on Do Not Call for two years. Most are robocalls, but a few years ago, we were getting very scary calls from Jamaica. The last call from there was about "business" my dh apparently had with "a man of the cloth." I lost it and told the guy I was calling the cops and the calls stopped. After that, there were daily collection agent calls from Mrs Jones and Mr Smith. We have no debt and did check credit rating to ensure there wasn't fraud involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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then there's the IRS calls... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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The latest is the Census Bureau. Caller ID says Census Bureau and number is on their website, but they call at weird times and the callers seem kind of "off." We've hung up on them twice as they plumb for info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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lately they've been using a computerized voice for the IRS calls. I guess enough people told them that workers for the IRS are usually native speakers of English. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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The chutzpah is really amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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I'm really glad you mentioned this- I have recently been getting a lot of calls from strange area codes. I thought they were bill collectors at first, but I checked my credit report and there are no unpaid bills, no cards I didn't know about, nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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OP I really think there is some list that circulates with the people who do these things. That's why the do not call list doesn't work. The others we get are American red cross, breast cancer research, police and fire funds, pediatric cancer. Some are apparently just charities that are super aggressive (red cross calls 2x a day) but the chimney/energy/money and even police/fire funds are scams. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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We get the police one all the time. And robo calls from "credit card services" about our account balance (which we don't have) and senior citizen monitoring device. Over and over and over. I try to keep track of the numbers because I've heard that once you answer, they know they have a live line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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I had a lot of random calls yesterday out of the blue: all expenses paid cruises, other scammy stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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Yes. We still have a landline and get tons of stupid calls like this. Don't answer the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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I get these even at work. Almost every 30 min and from a NYC area code. Either I owe IRS a lot of money, or I won 5 billion dollars, or my laptop has a bug that need fixing remotely. They get quite creative lately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:14 PM Flag
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and the "Con Ed" calls [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:23 PM Flag
[ - ] How is PS 217? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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isolated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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Great little school. It's name changing to Cornell Tech [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:49 PM Flag
[ - ] what shoud I dress up as for dh? want to surprise him with a new scenario... 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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A puppy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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I see the kids are out of school... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Nope. He is just awesome and has been so great on vacation with my extended family and there's been little opportunity for alone time... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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A sexy piece of pizza [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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An exterminator [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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Slutty exterminator could actually be hilarious and so relevant to the week we have had! Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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A giant penis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Maury Povich guest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Mama June [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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The Elephant Man [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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His sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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His mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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Cranberry sauce [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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And he can be the turkey! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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slutty stripper looking for an honest life? wants to give one last dance? I like a back story LOL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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A Faberge egg? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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A Cadbury egg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:40 PM Flag
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A Kinder Egg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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Just a regular egg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Humpty Dumpty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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A nun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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french maid or nurse. maybe i'll do that too this weekend! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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Dalton sweatshirt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:15 PM Flag
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Babby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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You can be Inmate Mom and he can be a sleezy guard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 08:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Really nothing like UB to illuminate flaws and failings in stark contrast. No one tells it like it is like UB. What's your UB flaw? just realized I'm an over educated housekeeper. (Not a bad wakeup call) 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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Overeducated sahm who wears comfortable clothing (lulu and uggs) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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also drive an SUV and am too thin... the horror! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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Same here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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That while you'd never suspect it to look at me, that I am a snob about a lot of things. Oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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Dont fool yourself - people know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:40 PM Flag
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You could be right. It mostly comes across with the friends of my kids and the people they date. I pretty firmly believe I know bad news when I see it. Usually I am right, though. Most kids from bad backgrounds stay that way. If you want to prove to me that you are different, show me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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Also I meant - to look at me you'd never think I would feel I could be superior to anyone. I look like the person who collects the carts in the parking lot at the grocery store most of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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You mean, you walk around wearing a neon orange vest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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hahaha. No, I look more like Kathy Bates [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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That can't be good ... Kathy Bates like what role? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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If she's like Misery Kathy Bates I think her kids should date whoever she tells them to. The consequences are just not worth it IMHO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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OR. LOL. Maybe the Office. I'm kind of frumpy. But my personality isn't dark. And I have large dogs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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Kathy Bates ?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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So am I. But I am ghetto in many other ways. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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I know who you are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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I took the trailing spouse role to my wife because I thought it was what "good men" did these days and it's turned out to be a pretty bad decision for me. It turns out I didn't really want to spend my time chasing two kids around by myself while waiting for her to come home when she can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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Despite testing my child doesn't really have ADHD or need to be on meds. And there's no WAY my DC should be getting any extra time on tests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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I am chubby. Obese, in OB terms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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I'm a fat, dumb loser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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I'm sure you're not! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:14 PM Flag
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I'm pathetic and very stupid. Oh and yesterday I was a raciest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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SAHD. Enough said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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Apparently I'm a fascist and baby killer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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UB told me it was a bad idea to let my husband take a job out of state, but i didn't listen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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if you aren't having regular sex w your husband, someone else is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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vmsfkdot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone interview at Saint Ann's yet for K? What's the general feeling this year? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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Lena Dunham's school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Yes, though I'm pretty sure they've had other distinguished graduates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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Mike D. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Ahem, all that aside - I ask again - Anyone interview at Saint Ann's yet for K? What's the general feeling this year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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I guess not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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every morning took the train to the high street station... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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really? awesome. sorry to hijack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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Yup. Ad-rock went to Stuy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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there, there, BB. it's Beastie Boy song lyrics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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I got a pegleg at the end of my stump, shake your rump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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adam yauch went to Friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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then Murrow for HS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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I love Murrow! I know people that went there and they loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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do his kids go there now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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I don't think they are old enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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and they do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Yes, we did about a month ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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What did you think? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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We love the school, think it's a good fit for our child. What are you questions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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np: good luck! we haven't even toured, but have a feeling we'll love the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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What did you love about it? And why more than other schools? Did they give any indication of how many available spaces this year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:09 PM Flag
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No indication whatsoever. DC is very verbal, self-motivated and artistic. Works well with other kids and is social. Interview process went well but we'll see. We are an "artistic" family so lots about the school appeals to us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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np: I hear they open more slots for first grade. Anyone know how many more? And how many seats they may actually have after sibs for K? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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Current K mom here - The K is about 60 kids (3 classes of 20 each), half of them came from the preschool and another 10 or so are new K siblings. So there are probably about 20 spots for new kids/families in K. They add another class in first grade, and I think the classes get a bit bigger, so maybe 25-28 new kids. Some of the 1st grade spots are basically reserved for kids from Grace and Plymouth preschools which have Ks so they don't admit them til 1st. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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Who are the amazing children who get those coveted 20 spots? I know Saint Ann's gets so many applications they don't even interview everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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They do interview everyone who applies for K/1st within their limit (I'm not sure what that is but they interview a lot of kids!). As long as you get your app in early you'll get an interview. I think (based on our experience) they are looking for bright, inquisitive, verbal kids who separate well and get along with adults and other kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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Phew, that describes my dc. We are a profoundly unartistic family, however. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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Who are the amazing children who get those coveted 20 spots? I know Saint Ann's gets so many applications they don't even interview everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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Funny, 20 seems like a lot. City & Country allegedly only has 5-8 spots for K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know anything about the High School for Math and Engineering up near Columbia? Is it hard to get into? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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It's a SHSAT school, so unless your 8th grader ranked it on the test last month, you're out of luck. That said, it's a very fine small STEM school. I believe the founding principal is now the principal of Brooklyn Tech. A very good choice for dcs who want the rigor of the large specialized schools but in a smaller environment. I know one dc who's very happy there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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My DC graduated from HSMSE. Great school. Challenging curriculum (STEM oriented), small school environment. The kids are ambitious but not competitive with each other. Admission is via the SHSAT (same test as Stuy, Brooklyn Tech, etc.) Over the past few years, the cut off score has been going up, as the school has become more popular. But I believe it's still a lower cut off score than Bronx Sci. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:40 PM Flag
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We looked at it for MS. We really like it and will see how dc does on their test. I believe it is pretty selective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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Just to clarify, there are two schools the OP might be thinking of. The High School for Math, Science and Engineering (which is a 9-12 school). Or The Columbia Secondary School for Math, Science, & Engineering (6-12). Both are uptown, west side. Columbia Secondary is closer to Columbia University. HSMSE is on the campus of City College around 135th Street. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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You are correct. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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I talked to four male students and found them to be smart, normal and charming you g men. I know another boy there who is driven and qualified for Stut score wise but put it first choice. He is a freshman and complaining about the homework load. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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If he's complaining about the homework at HSMSE, he should thank his lucky stars he's not at Stuy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Do you have experience with one or the other (or both?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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DS at Stuy. Great school and we feel fortunate--but homework. Then again, I assume that at all of these schools, it's a serious time commitment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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How does Columbia Secondary compare to HSME? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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HSMSE is much better. Col Sec is a collection of kids who did not make it to Stuy or Bronxs Sci or HSMSE and did not want to travel to Brooklyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Is the MS decent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks, all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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Which school were you referring to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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I depends on where you live. Where do you live? A express stops close at 145th and it is a nice walk from there. 1 is close too, but not such a nice walk. It is a very good school, but small, so it has limited offerings. It is 75 boys and pretty focused on Engineering, though the other subjects are very good, there is less variety. It think it is a pretty rigid place which is great for some kids. I did not like the basement setting with the loud steam pipes or the commute for my ds. He liked Tech better, so he didn't put this school down, but I know kids who go who really like it and others who bemoan the lack of girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] So there was a “Scene from suburbs” post that spoke volumes about what I am going through. I am an immigrant mom who recently moved to suburb that is often mentioned here. WOHM with 2 kids 8yo dd and 1 yo ds. DD seems happy in her schools, however I am having hard time arranging playdates for her. I try to volunteer at her school in order to meet other moms. They usually subject me to intense questioning about what I do and my background but then when I suggest dd and other girl meet, they usually tell me how busy their child is. I work from home once a week and I see that moms pick up each others dd’s from school for a playdate, nobody invites my dd over. Sometimes when they do make plans only to cancel them last minute. DD was very popular at her NYC school and her current teacher has only positive things to say about her. DD did not yet pick up on whats going on. Please help with any advice/suggestions that you have. 79 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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op: DD does gymnastics but she is not on the team [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:13 PM Flag
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are you a non-white immigrant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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op: I am white from Eastern Europe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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when kids get a tiny bit older their choose their friends regardless of their parents preferences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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op:Yes, but its hard to watch your child being left out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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Invite her ny friends over or take her to go and see them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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op: did that too, but I am starting to feel like this move was a huge mistake:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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u can move back!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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op: I thought about that but I am concerned about school situation in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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Just let it happen. Stop forcing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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At age 8, let your DD pick the playdates. Who are the kids she gets along with really well? Approach the moms of those girls, and say "Kate and Maddy get along so well, so why not get them together for a playdate at our house?" If the girls are in earshot, they may enthusiastically, shout, "Yes Mom, pllleeeeease!" There you go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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op: I WOHM, so I usually dont pick her up from school. I usually email other moms, only to get a page long response about how busy Maddy is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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People suck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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I'm an immigrant WOHM living in outer borough and sending my DD to a nice school where they often mistake me for staff. Here's what I did: I hired a Jewish nanny. The moms feel perfectly at ease hanging out with her! LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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^ Oh I just saw that you are white, nevermind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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You are so smart! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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Jewish nanny? They have those? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 03:09 AM Flag
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Sorry this is happening. We lived in a rural Southern small town for two years and dd did not have one single playdate between the ages of 6 and 7. The first question people would ask is "What church do you go to?" and if you had the wrong answer, their kids were "too busy" to make friends. To the person who said you are trying too hard and should "let it happen", well, sometimes it does not. I don't have any good advice. We moved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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who would be with your child? do you have a nanny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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op: DD is in afterschool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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so she pretty much has a playdate every day. don't sweat it. over time, people will get to know you beyond being the Russian mom. And the ones who can't see past that... well, I wouldn't want my child at their homes, and vice-versa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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op: She is very happy. I am just concerned about when she will realize that she is being snubbed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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NP: I am experiencing something similar. I am a Russian immigrant Mom with a pretty thick accent, and I also WOHM (physician). I am not part of the mom group at my daughter's school in an affluent suburb, for obvious reasons stated above. I have noticed a sharp drop in birthday and playdate invitations,in comparison to her time at pre-K at the JCC. I personally couldn't care less, because I have more than enough friends, and many of them have kids her age who we spend time with. My advice: it may bother you, but not necessarily your dd. Find a couple of women friends that YOU and dh like, who have kids similar to your dd in age, and make them her social circle. Also, as you mentioned, she can make friends in her extracurricular activites [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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op: I am R [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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op: I am Russian also [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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OR: I figured :) Don't let it bother you. Just because we move to the nice suburbs, it does not necessarily mean we need to be assimilated into sport/cheerleader, etc culture. Keep up chess, math and gymnastics :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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OR: I also throw very nice birthday parties for dd, so she never had a shortage of kids show up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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op: I did the same thing, everyone showed up, but nobody reciprocated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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That's REALLY awful. These people are inconsiderate jerks. Is it that hard to reciprocate an invitation? Apparently it is if you are a classless ahole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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op: DD had her bd in September. We invited the whole class (I thought it would be a good way to introduce ourselves). We had what I thought a really nice party. All kids left happy. There was more than I bd since than. DD got 0 invitations:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:15 PM Flag
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This is horrible. Trust me, you don't need these people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Can we be real? I grew up around Russian immigrants and I have had such a bad experience with many of them that I would be wary of arranging a play date for my kid with the child of one, as well. I'm not saying it's right, but the folks I've known with this background just make me uncomfortable, because they've been very aggressive, very quick to start a fight with you, and always looking for an angle. To be honest, I'd be worried that if I let my kid have a playdate at your house you'd tell me I owed you $800 for something he broke when I came to get him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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OR from above. You are describing someone with bad manners. We are not all like that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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That's fair. I know that, and I don't mean to be stereotypical, but I grew up around the Brooklyn Russian types and have had many experiences where I could tell right away that I was being played, and that if I didn't get out of the situation quickly I'd probably be cornered into doing something I didn't want to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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OP: I am pretty low key software engineer who is well educated. I know the type you are referring to but we are not all like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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np: I am you and we are not moving to the suburbs. I know I will be stereotyped like this as soon as I get out (I have BTDT) What was the reason you moved? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:40 PM Flag
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op: uncertainty over schools. Although, dd is a good student she is not super bright Stuyvesant type. She is solid "B" student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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I can see that. I think the other poster is right. You have to find your own friends with kids of similar age to yours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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what's DH like? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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op: DH is Russian but he grew up here. He works long hours in Finance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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Np. Unfortunately you are stuck having to prove that you are not like "most Russians" ... Because there is more than a kernel of truth to the reputation. For various reasons I have really strong feelings about Russians, and I would also keep my distance from you until I have scoped you out a little better. There are often some really interesting, great things about Russians, but the negative traits that are common to many are really jarring in comparison to what many Americans are used to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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op: funny enough, we had American friends in our NY school and we were never treated like that. People came over to our house. We are very normal educated Russian Jewish couple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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Move back. Move to D2. Schools will be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 10:27 PM Flag
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op: Here is an example: DD met one of her classmates at the playground. It was obvious that girls liked each other, they played together for about 1 hour. Other mom and I had what I thought a pleasant chat. When it was time to leave, they both asked for a playdate. My got my cell # and told me that she will text me her cell right away. She never did. Initally, I wanted to look her up in school directory but now I am not so sure if I should do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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op: (on my phone) other mom got my cellphone but never followed through and texted hers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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You can still contact her. I do this sometimes and forget for a few days. Just contact her no big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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Just do it. She may have forgotten. At least you would have tried. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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Just do it. She may have forgotten. At least you would have tried. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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Honestly, I hate play dates. I have very few. It is nothing personal to anyone. These people do sound really rude though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Hi OP, try not to take it personally. if you just moved, these families have probably known each other for years, and it's probably easier for them to do playdates with the kids they already know. I am a non-white mom, and went throught something similar at a new school and I chalked it up to being different, and now in my second year, I realized I was just taking things too personally. a couple of things: it just might be that the one day you work from home, other kids have activities. Or the fact that you're not home 4 days kind of make people forget that they can do a playdate with you. E-mail that other mom you met on the playground, and see if she writes back. In the meantime, do playdates with her friends from the city. good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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I got snubbed by SAHM in my DC's class. I tried a few times and then stopped. Don't let it bother you. There are so many more important things to care about than playdates. Best luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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op:Its painful to see your dc being snubbed. Another example, one day I worked from home. At the pick up, I saw a mom who I met before. Before our dc's came out we chatted and I told her that I am working from home. When they did come out, she screamed" Ava, Emma and Riley you are coming with me and Sophia for ice scream. Your moms will pick you up later". Her dd and my dd are reading partners and teacher told me that they get along well. Why not extend invitation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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MD Mom from above: I have experienced a version of this as well. Yes, the truth is, these women are snobby to you, and by proxy, to your dd. I have another 2 points I want to make: 1. I actually find these women incredibly catty and boring if I do get to talk to them: all they talk about is their new car or kids sports practices, etc. 2. Kids' groups, and mom groups as kids progress in school: I have seen this with my oldest, so women who are bff right now, may grow apart when their kids are in middle school. Bottom line, don't pay attention to the snobs. I would try once or twice with each woman, but if I get a cold shoulder, I would never approach them again. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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groups change, I mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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op: I dont really care about being friends with these women. I am just concerned about my dd and her realizing that she is being excluded. I just want normal things for her: having friends over, sleepovers and birthday parties. We had that in NY but not here:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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Wow, I am so sorry you (and dd) have to go through this. These women are horrid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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Which suburb and how far from NYC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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op: NJ-Westfield [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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Not far from NYC. You can meet your NYC friends in Manhattan and do some cultural things together: I envy you! BTW, sleepovers are completely unnecessary and overrated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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Not enough Jews in Westfield. That's the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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Umm.... you're joking, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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op: There are a lot of Jews in town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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Not like tenafly or millburn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 01:57 AM Flag
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My friend lives on the poorer side (south?) and all the kids look the same and are not Jewish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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That's important information. I know people in Westfield aND they do this kind of thing for sport. I don't think it has that much to do with you, it has to with the moms in that town. They'd do this to anyone who moved in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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op: what do you think we should do? Will it eventually stop and we will be accepted? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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Don't mean to be nasty to you, but I think you should stop trying so hard. If you do not want to be friends with these people, why do you want your dd to be friends with their kids? They will be just as shallow, mean and snobby as their moms. They are not going to be good for your dd, trust me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:35 PM Flag
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They are so snobby and when you look them up, they all paid under 500 for their tiny houses. What an awful place. Np. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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I live in the suburbs and I would never behave the way these moms are behaving. At our school, we go out of our way to welcome new kids and invite them to birthday parties, etc. That story with going to get ice cream and not inviting your dd--that's just so awful and rude! I'm sorry you are going through this. But in the grand scheme of things, playdates are not the most important thing in the world. As long as your dd is reasonably happy at school and making friends, you're on the right track. I'm sure people will warm up in time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 11:42 PM Flag
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When your dd gets to 5th grade, all the kids pick their own friends. If you wait it out, it will change and little Riley and Madison's mommies will be wringing their hands over the middle school mean girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 01:25 AM Flag
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Are you Russian? Russian people can really rub Americans the wrong way. They can just be very rude without realizing it. Just a cultural difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 02:45 AM Flag
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np: can you please elaborate? I have been living here for many years and see the truth in your words which applies to all socio-economic & cultural levels, and yet I have a hard time to see where are the differences. People like OP usually try to blend in and follow the leads from Americans ( otherwise they would not move to such suburb) - how can they be rude? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 03:46 AM Flag
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np. It's the simple things. A Russian would think twice whether to smile or not because we are afraid to come out as fake or too-eager-to-please (remember the saying "only fools always smile"?) while an American might actually think you are being hostile or disinterested as smiling is a simply good manners here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 05:35 AM Flag
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move AWAY from scarsdale - what did you expect there, it's horrible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 03:49 AM Flag
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Np this is the most honest post on ub this month. So many moms at my school try to avoid Russians [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 04:42 AM Flag
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And it has nothing to do with jew or non jew. The moms avoid the Russian Jews and also avoid russian non jews [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 04:43 AM Flag
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Even in Israel, the Ashkenazi Jews consider Russians immigrants to .israel as nokd and avoid them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 04:44 AM Flag
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np. Sadly, I see myself in your shoes in a few years. We moved to NJ from Manhattan 1.5 years ago. So far, the playdates have happened only with Russian (or half Russian) kids. I am a SAHM so we are always out and about and see how cliques are forming. It's getting cold and the playgrounds yet again are going to be abandoned for the backyards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 04:45 AM Flag
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OP, please don't worry! I lived in Russia for a long time - I think it probably has less to do with your background, and more to do with the fact that at the age of 8 kids start to choose who to invite, while when they were younger, you often invited the whole class or tried to be more inclusive. For those of us who have spent time outside of the U.S. (I am American but have lived in Europe for many years now), American moms can seem cliquey. I sometimes get the feeling it is like high school all over again. SAHMs (I am one too) often live through the kids so they get so caught up in the whole social thing. Let your DD choose her own friends, invite them over on the weekends, and tell her not to worry. If it is really bad, you can always switch schools? Of course in the city you are going to get a more open-minded group of parents. I know that is politically incorrect to say, but I think perhaps true? Also, for whatever reason, Americans are still sceptical of Russians. In Europe, I see much more willingness to accept & integrate. Are you glamorous and they are just jealous? Do you have a great job? Maybe you are intimidating to them? Intense questioning is a weird US thing, I find it rude too - first time you meet someone you ask them what you do, as if your job defines you, all sorts of personal questions, sometimes it is overwhelming. Try weekend playdates for those who are open to them. You'd be surprised how many moms want a Saturday off from their kids! GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.27.14, 10:21 AM Flag
[ - ] please post any good black friday online sales you're aware of. thanks! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Slickdeals.net is your friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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bfads.net [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:27 PM Flag
[ - ] i was the first person that got pushed out when the financial crisis happened. i still remembered my boss made up a lie to the clients that i "jumped on the opportunity to move on to greener pastures" to direct the clients' frustrations towards me rather than him. And to avoid lawsuits, he gave me terrible performance reviews for that year so it looked on the record that it was for cause. now, fast forward 5 years, I am a MD in another bank and he dared to send me an email via LinkedIn wanting to touch base and see if I can send him business. Really? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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wow he must be desperate! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Men have such nerve. I wish I had a little more if that. Shameless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Men have nerve because they have more power than OP. Hence the nerve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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banking or trading? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 06:15 PM Flag
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email back: Karma's a bitch, especially when you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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and p.s.: congrats on your success. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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Heh, I remember that saying, "Life's a bitch and so am I!" When a guy tells you are a bitch, you say, "YES I AM!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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I would very clearly let him know that I was aware of everything you listed and that I have no interest in any professional relationship with someone who conducts business that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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op: i would really love to. but the idea of even communicating with him again disgusts me. just seeing his email in my inbox made me want to delete my linkedin profile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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np. oh, so you're not LinkedIn with him, he just emailed you. lame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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Wait a month and then let him know you've been sooooooo busy and have no interest in linking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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Awesome! (Just don't answer.) He should be happy you are still LinkedIn with him. ppffffftt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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op: i actually ignored his request to join my network. i don't know why people who are not in my network can send me a message. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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you know, that's a good question. i think if your profile is public, that can do that. not sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:13 PM Flag
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Sucker. I admire his chutzpah though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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He probably thinks he treated you well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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He probably thinks you don't know what an asshole he is! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Word. "It's just business." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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Or he was doing so much Coke at the time that he doesn't even remember. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Hmmm.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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Heh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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I would not help, but I would not burn a bridge, even though it is burt already from your perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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Just ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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Take the high road and ignore. If he's smart, he knows why. And if not, and he keeps pushing, then tell him that you don't feel, based on your past experience, that he has the professionalism you need to send him clients. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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Eh. He's a sociopath. Typical of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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Wow I'm going through something similar now (different industry) and I'm getting interviews but having a rough time landing something. Any advice? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] We're spending Xmas in dh's country, so I need to buy a LOT of gifts. Any good black friday (online only) deals you've heard about? I need lto buy ike 50ish gifts, so want to keep them all to under $20 each. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Which country are you going to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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Someplace overpopulated, it sounds like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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you think it's crazy to have 50 extended family members and friends? collapse and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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It's a bit NOKD, yes, sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Also to have to buy them ALL gifts. Holy crap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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It could work out if all 59 of them also buy OP gifts. What are they all getting you, OP? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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People who say NOKD live in trailers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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All types of people say stupid things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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Ok, NOKD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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I'd prefer the trailer to having to buy 50 gifts for grabby foreign relatives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Then you have never been inside a trailer. If the worst thing that ever happens to you is you get to go away for Xmas and you have to buy a lot of gifts, you are lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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OP: thank you. they are always so generous with us, we are lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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Ignore this cheap ass loser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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What does NOKD mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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This. Ewww. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Argentina [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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India? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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I think you should bring the tradition of Secret Santa or Yankee Swap to your DH's family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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Are you going to get them all the same thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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FMPD baseball hats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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Are you kidding? You're going to fly somewhere with 50 Xmas gifts? Why not just take them all out to a nice dinner or something. I'm guessing where you're going the restaurants aren't too $4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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She could ship them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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What are the ages? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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Toys R Us, Target, Bed Bath Beyond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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thanks, will try, esp. toys r us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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Overpriced, try amazon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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NY Magazine has a feature up online on inexpensive gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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my ex was foreign with huge family. We'd go to Marshalls or TJ Max and get tons of stuff for so cheap. Everyone was always happy with their American treasures (usually name brand) lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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I've done this in the past but it just stresses me out to go to these stores, and it's such a toss up. that's why I'm trying the online route this time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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mmm tough. hit up one of the flash sale sites maybe? or amazon -or [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:13 PM Flag
[ - ] S/o wearing netjet logo stuff. I get so much more of a thrill being an observer and watching people fall over themselves to impress each other. Only our close friends have any idea how we travel or other details of our lifestyle. This is such a strange thing to want to advertise... the value comes from the experience not everyone else knowing you had the experience. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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In college, I was friends/briefly dated a guy whose father owned a private jet. He used it frequently to go visit his sister at another college, but never, ever mentioned it. Where other people would have jumped at the opportunity to say "Oh, I'm taking the plane to go see my sister", he never ever did. I have always really respected him for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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Isn't this just normal manners? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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you are not most people. just have a look at facebook. one of my "friends" posted a picture of his first class seat on a plane. I wanted to vomit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:01 PM Flag
[ - ] I need to buy snow boots and snow pants but don't want to spend too much $ because dc will wear them maybe 3 times. any recs? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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Lands End has a lot of sales, and they're good quailty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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+1 lands end for pants. Land end has that great option to take out a stitch and make them longer the following season. Also, my kids wore their snow boots and snow pants all winter as warmth not for the snow. We got kamik snow boots, snobusters, that have a removal liner so you can use them as just rainboots too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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great, thanks. just saw lands end is 30% off, so perfect! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Ebay. Moms whose kids wore stuff 2 or 3 times & outgrew will sell there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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target [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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Modells has cheap snow pants. I know they are about $20-25 for adults. They also have cheap snow boots, but may be sold out by now. I just got some $30 ones on Amazon and they are nicer than the $50 ones I got two years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Weird question-I use aerosol hairspray and my bathroom is disgusting because of it. Pump sprays don't work on my hair. What can I do? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:54 PM Flag
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clean your bathroom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Use it in the shower and spray the shower down after. I'm serious, you have to. My grandma loved aerosol hairspray and we had to gut her bathroom after a decade of it on brand new tile/finishes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:56 PM Flag
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it's really disgusting - I have tried to spray in the shower, but it still seems to get on to everything - just make sure you wipe everything down every few days or it really builds up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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Didn't even know this existed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Aerosols are still legal? Thanks for the hole in the ozone layer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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we have a lot worse things to worry about than hairspray ruining the ozone, dear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] It's officially snowing. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:51 PM Flag
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Where are you? I'm at 14th St near the Hudson and it's still sleeting over here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:52 PM Flag
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Looks like snow on E 87th. Np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Upper West side and it is snowing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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+1 UWS. It started as sleet, but we now have big, fluffy flakes. My Holiday music is on. My pies are going in the oven. In just a few minutes, the house is gonna smell amazing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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you sound like Martha Stewart!! LOL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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I wanna come over!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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On West 4th, not snowing here yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Big, white, fluffy flakes in NoVa :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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Snow-raining here in Harlem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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I am on UB too much. I read this as "I'm officially showing" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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Ha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Park Slope seeing some flurries :-0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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Just rain on the North Fork. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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Just rain in mid town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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BK Heights here. Just freezing rain/sleet here so far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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Snowing on West 57th [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Rain in Tribeca [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.26.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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