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[ - ] Please post your favorite healthy, cheap, quick dinners! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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Sautéed spinach with garlic, whole wheat pasta, and feta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:44 AM Flag
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sounds delicious, but is is a bit bland? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:02 AM Flag
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That's not healthful. You need protein. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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Do you have a crockpot? My easiest dinners are the ones that are ready to eat when we walk in the door! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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I love making a big pot of vegetable soup on Sunday's. Aside from chopping vegetables, it doesn't take much cook time. I will eat for dinner two nights and then freeze leftovers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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Sauté chicken tenders, garlic, onions, mushrooms, and tomatoes. Mix in cork screw pasta, and dot with Boursin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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I don't eat meat or pork. How would I use a crock pot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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I'm the crockpot poster above and we are a vegetarian family. What do you like to eat? I make taco filling, vegetarian bolognese, veggie meatballs and sauce, curries, chili, stew, enchiladas. Google "fresh from the vegetarian slow cooker." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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Vegetable broth, strained, with some pepper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:30 AM Flag
[ - ] Ideal school for your dc? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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Once upon a time I'd conjure something progressive + outdoor time. But I don't think ds will do work that just plain old has to get done without coercion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
[ - ] If you were at a pool, would you stay talking just with dh and kids or talk to other parents of children there? Imagine community pool, or amusement park. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:26 AM Flag
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Depends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Dh and kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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This unless we saw friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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I usually have brief exchanges with other parents whose kids my kids are playing with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:33 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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Same. Or sometimes sit with friends if we see them before we put stuff down or vice versa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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If you are in suburbs of NYC, people do not make any attempts to socialize outside of their current sphere. If you get introduced to that sphere, you may get a nod or even some casual conversation. But if you are not really in the group, you never will be. I've never seen anything like this but here in NYC metro area. It's pretty sick, but it is what it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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Say what? How do you get a social sphere then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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Psycho! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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I have found this to be true as well. Not in the city, but definitely in the burbs. I'm not from the northeast. Live in the city, but have a weekend place in the burbs. Extremely hard to strike up a conversation in the burbs, even in places where there are lots of parents/kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:35 AM Flag
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I would split my time between both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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I will talk to anyone. You know those people who start small talk in line at the grocery store? That's me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Worrying about this school year. Ds is a mediocre student, and a rising 5th grader. Mostly just 3s. Occasionally 4s but not often. Did ok on state tests- 2 4s and a 3. I've never really worried bc I figured elementary school should be low pressure, but now I am. Anyone btdt with a ds who turned it around? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:23 AM Flag
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3s and 4s are good. Sure, all 4s is better, but what's the concern? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:26 AM Flag
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Seems like everyone who posts has dc getting mostly 4s at school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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Your benchmark isn't exactly accurate, it is made up of people who choose to brag online about their kid's grades [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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Even at Anderson and NEST+m not everyone is getting 4s; far from it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:10 AM Flag
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Not every kid is above average. accept your own kid for who he is or get him a tutor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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These scores are fine for a good middle school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:00 AM Flag
[ - ] It's too bed feminism made it an expectation that women work instead of just allowing any women to work who wanted to, but still making it totally acceptable to be a lifetime SAHM without getting shit for it. 275 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:23 AM Flag
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Thanks Privledged White Lady. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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NP I'm neither privileged nor white but I agree with OP. WTF men do whatever with their lives and no one judges them except maybe their UB wives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:32 AM Flag
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Np: do you seriously think sahds are not judged?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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No, no that is not what I am saying. I meant career, life choice demands on men are less cloistered. Men can choose to be a plumber or a mathematician and get married or not. Women are judged no matter what choice they make. SAHDs are not very common although more so these days so I am not judging them. I love men who take time for their family in this way. SAH Women don't get that same kind of love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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I disagree. I think men who aren't high earners are judged pretty harshly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:49 AM Flag
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Only by people who think that is a status symbol. A very small fraction of the population can aspire to "silly" money as the Irish say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:55 AM Flag
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Your problem is that you give any weight at all to other people's "judgments" about your choices. You were supposed to have outgrown that kind of insecurity back in junior high. Your problem isn't with feminism; it's with your parents' failure to help you grow a backbone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:17 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:20 AM Flag
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I'm not sure that's true. I judge my non-working stay at home husband every day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:46 PM Flag
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+1. Both my grandmothers worked out of necessity. There was no "choice" for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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This. Every woman worked, throughout history, until the post-WWII sexist middle class fantasy that men do all of the "real work" while women quietly support them from behind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:19 AM Flag
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Women worked in the fields, they didn't work in offices. Big difference. Women farmed and took care of multiple children. They had grandma available to help take care of children. Not the same thing. They were around. They didn't have unrelated employees taking care of their children. Also, children worked alongside their mothers and fathers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:01 PM Flag
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working in the fields, though, is participating in the agricultural economy of the community. agree though that not having family nearby changes the equation today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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I was just going to say literally this. It's a modern concept that any gender is exempt from participating in the economic life of the community so that they ONLY raise children and clean the house. Our great great great great grandmothers would find it more puzzling that anyone would expect the current SAHM life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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No, it depended on social class. Middle class married women did not work in the 19th century. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Or in the 1st half of the 20th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:50 AM Flag
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And upper class women never did, never have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:36 AM Flag
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+2 One grandmother had 8 children and did all of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare on her own with no modern appliances. Other grandmother grew almost all of the family's food on a small farm while her husband worked, and then when he developed a heart condition, they sold part of the land and she went to work in a factory so he could quit his job. SAHPing today is *not* work in the way it was before modern conveniences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:34 AM Flag
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That is a recent phenomenon. In the past BOTH parents were around 24/7. Men hunted and fished but they brought their sons with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:01 PM Flag
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This. Feminism did not change the fact that pretty much every person in the world has to work in order to eat. OP is just envious of the 1%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:36 AM Flag
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x1000 Another Privileged White Woman here. DH and I are both SAHPs. No one gives us sh!t for anything - or if they do, we never hear it. Regardless, we know it's because we're lucky, not because of "feminism". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:39 AM Flag
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You're lucky because you have trust funds or cashed out of a business that you sold for a lot of money. That is also a recent phenomenon and mostly attributed to luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:02 PM Flag
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I don't think people should be lifetime SAHM, unless they are truly too stupid to do anything else. It's a sad life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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Or call it retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:25 AM Flag
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your bitterness is showing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Yes, of course, anyone who doesn't think being educated and then using that education solely to make lunches and do carpools is jealous, blah blah. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:30 AM Flag
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Maybe not jealous but certainly resentful of that choice. My mom worked and I was a latchkey kid. I hated her for it. I am more educated than she was and did not want that for my kids. I would rather put my time and energy towards my kids, this is why I chose to have them, I wanted my life to be about my family not my career. Resume vs. eulogy is always an easy choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:35 AM Flag
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What will your husband's eulogy include? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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Oh my, I'd rather not think of that but he has worked his ass for us too in different ways. We met at a hedge fund and each of us has taken the time to be a SAHP at one time or another. He is generous, kind, loving and loyal. He is a great father and human being. He is the love of my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:47 AM Flag
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Why isn't his life about his family, instead of his career? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:19 AM Flag
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Same. My parents both worked like crazy. Never want that for my kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:13 AM Flag
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Is that what you think parenting is about? I'm not sure you even know what being educated is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:35 AM Flag
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I think it is but I'm not the one who posted that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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i feel sorry for you kids - np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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Don't they have parents who value time with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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Smart people use their education in daily life whether or not an employer is paying them to do tasks. Have you not heard of reading? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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It's not the same. You learn mostly through experience and when you check out of life, you stop learning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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Check out of life? Family is life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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It's only part of a life. By elementary school your dc have their own lives for hours a day. By middle school they want little to do with you. By HS they are embarrassed of you. Especially if you are a SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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No true in my situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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Your dc don't go to school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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If your kids want nothing to do with you, it's because you're a shitty mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:16 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:16 AM Flag
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nope, MY DDs aspire to be SAHM after grad school and some time working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:17 AM Flag
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Just because you learn a certain way doesn't mean other people do too. I'm a SAHM with two masters degrees and I read multiple books every week and think I learn a lot. I also do coursera classes. I highly doubt having a job would allow me the same learning opportunities. Sending emails and compiling reports isn't learning anything. Any job aside from researcher or professor is going to involve repetition rather than learning new things on a weekly basis [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:47 AM Flag
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ILY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:49 AM Flag
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You've never had a real career if you think that. Seriously, no snark [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:59 AM Flag
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NP you are out of touch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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Not at all. I'll admit I have a very good career though so little repetition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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You are one of the lucky few, thanks for being honest! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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yet you won't say what it is. because you're lying and you know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:28 AM Flag
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I didn't realize you asked. But I can't say, no. Don't want to out myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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I agree. And also no snark. What is described sounds lovely, but I can tell you having been on both sides - unless there are real stakes (money, goals, whatever) on the line, you're not thinking, testing your ideas, and improving them at your potential. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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I am a journalist. I am constantly learning new things and having new experiences. I have 3 kids and they love to see my work and hear about what I'm doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:21 AM Flag
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+1 My kid is more impressed seeing my name on a masthead than having me lurk around her school, waiting for pickup. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Not sure that means what you think it does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:37 PM Flag
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That's good. For you. It is important to impress your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:39 AM Flag
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I agree with this. to really learn something new you have to do it in an environment where there are high expectations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 03:26 AM Flag
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Jealous? Families would be much happier with sahm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:30 AM Flag
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See above. And that's just not true. I'm sorry you couldn't cut it in the corporate world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:32 AM Flag
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My family is more important than the corporate world. They are what matters to me not that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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That's your excuse but you know deep down what it is. Once dc are in school there is no reason you can't go back. And it's not just caring about the corporate world. It's caring about yourself and who you are. You are devaluing your abilities and setting yourself up to be a dependent child on DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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omg lady, whatever choices you have made in your life, they are not working for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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No reason to go back if you don't have to. Some people are lucky that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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np: So I should get a job when the kids are in school so I can have 1 hour a day with them before they go to sleep? Sorry, that's just unnatural and not healthy for developing kids to have little guidance from a mother. Kids deserve a parent who is there for them when they get home from school at 3. Can be either mom or dad, but both parents working is selfish IMO. Living within your means. No, you don't need two salaries. Kids will look back and value time spend with a parent rather than having the latest iphone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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My DH and I both have amazing careers and dc go to afterschool (they'd want to- see their friends, sports, etc). DH and I alternate who leaves earlier from work to pick them up at afterschool during the week, and on Fridays we always both leave earlier. We have a regular sitter lined up who is on call if someone is late or DH and I want to have a dinner out. It's perfect and dc certainly feel like they have not one, but two involved parents. We live in manhattan so that helps with commute time, of course and I realize that's not an option for everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:23 AM Flag
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No. I like to get the kids to school, pick them up, and be there for them everyday. I could work FT and see them for less than 2 hours each day. No thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:12 AM Flag
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But it's cool for your husband to choose the corporate world over family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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Both are possible. You understand that, don't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:44 AM Flag
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I actually do. But the previous poster (you?) is patting herself on the back a little too hard for "choosing family over the corporate world." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:48 AM Flag
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Not me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:01 AM Flag
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Yes. As i said earlier, children deserve to have a parent at home. DH benefits from having kids kids raised by their mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:30 AM Flag
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That's BS and you know it. Men get pride from making money and competing. Very few women do. Women get pride from nurturing their family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:31 AM Flag
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Not me. I get pride from both. As does my DH. Men and women aren't so different you know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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I agree with you. Now that all my kids are in school full time I do not know many SAHMs who don't at least work PT, most have gone back to FT and many make more than their DH's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:23 AM Flag
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Finally, a sane voice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:15 AM Flag
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Corporate world is not all that, been there 20 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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Doing what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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derivatives - MD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:47 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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Nice that you posted DHs job. You likely worked there but bowed out early is my guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:00 AM Flag
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Same. Finance for 15 years. Done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:14 AM Flag
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You are being very short sighted. That's barely any time in the work force considering your life expectancy is isn't to the 90s. I understand taking a few years off when dc are small and not in school, but once they're back in school it's just weird and sad to not re engage with the adult world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:18 AM Flag
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Meant 'into' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:18 AM Flag
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I will do something else eventually. Done with finance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 12:40 PM Flag
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Most women don't live to 90s. Most are dead by 87 on average but whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:03 PM Flag
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Agreed. Finance - 10 years. I would quit if I could. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:24 AM Flag
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This. It's not like we are all doing jobs that save the world, or are even personally rewarding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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So true! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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Yes, everyone is jealous of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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*You spelled SAHP wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:20 AM Flag
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How is spending time with your kids when they get home from school sad and sitting in an office cubicle all day making a company richer not sad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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You clearly have no clue what it's like to have a career. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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No I just see there are more important things in life than climbing the ladder for no other resin than to say I did it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:46 AM Flag
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Reason [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:46 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:56 AM Flag
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You don't have any clue. Do you think DH work just to say they did it? They do it for money, yes. But also for great personal satisfaction [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:02 AM Flag
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Not everyone has a rewarding career, get it into your head once and for all. If you have one, good for you, I hope you enjoy it and your life is rich this way. Most of us just toil along, get treated like shit and are underpaid. Not much to lose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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I have a business and like to be my own boss. You can shove your career up yours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Sorry your husband's life is so sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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It's not. He knows the kids are in good hands with a parents who loves them rather than a nanny who doesn't give a shit and watches Netflix all day ignoring the kids aside from keeping them alive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:48 AM Flag
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And once dc are in school. Then what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:01 AM Flag
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Then they are lucky to come home to a parent each day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:15 AM Flag
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But what does mom do all day when kids are in school that satisfies her ambition and her need to do something intellectually challenging? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:25 AM Flag
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read, take classes, volunteer, comment on news articles, join online discussion groups, take a coursera class, attend a lecture at the library, go to museums, attend plays, etc etc etc. Your IQ is not very high if you can't figure out what to do with yourself without an employer giving you tasks every day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:18 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:19 AM Flag
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The fact is that isn't really engaging in an intellectual level with other adults regularly. Even a class isn't, you're with students for one and there is just no substitute for being in a real workplace with real issues. You just miss so much of regular adult development. I've seen it happen again and again. And I'm not even talking about the unlucky ones who had to deal with death or divorce of DH. What will you do if that happens? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:23 AM Flag
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If tragedy struck, I would sell the assets we have saved and move to a lower cost of livingn area [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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All of the above examples except attending plays involve interacting with other adults. You clearly have no intellectual life of life outside of work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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Anything.I.Want ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:37 AM Flag
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Ha! Just said that above [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 12:40 PM Flag
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Whatever she wants ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 12:40 PM Flag
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Not your business, is it? Does she report to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:14 AM Flag
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You have a warped perspective. People who waste their time in jobs where they can be replaces are the ones living sad lives. Your job will never love you back. Ask dying people what they regret and they will say not spending more time with family. They won't tell you they wish they had put in more hours at the office. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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Your DH can replace you. That's even sadder. And the thing you don't get is those women at work have families too. Not mutually exclusive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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He can but if he is happy at home with things taken care of then maybe not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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Things would be taken care of with a working dw too. The reality is that there are very few household tasks that really need to be done that can't be done in an hour or so, once dc are in school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:05 AM Flag
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there sure are a lot of posts on ub from stressed wohms about arrangements falling through, trying to figure out logistics, find time to get everything done, etc. yes, of course there are lots of happy families where both parents work but it's just a lot more juggling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:41 AM Flag
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Doing both is definitely stressful. But it's also very rewarding and I've found the really good things in life take extra effort. If you want easy, why have kids at all? They're the most stressful! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:25 AM Flag
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It's rewarding to those who love what they do. But many people don't and would rather have a smoother family life. There's nothing wrong with that and I don't understand why it bothers some people so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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Fear, envy, malice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:57 AM Flag
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lol You sound so insecure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:37 AM Flag
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Bitter bitter bitter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:15 AM Flag
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So stupid that SAHMs are assumed to be dumb. Who is perpetuating this lie? I'm getting a PhD and have top .1% IQ and can't WAIT to be a SAHM. In what world does working for an employer make someone smart? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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ITA. The dumbest girls I know all have office jobs with bogus titles. Plenty of Ivy educated SAHMs out there who read a book a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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Reading is not the same. Obviously. You just have such little experience that it doesn't occur to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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So tell us what your big magical career is where you learn new things every day? Funny how you don't say what it is. Obviously you're trolling because you're jealous you have to work and are just trying to justify it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:32 AM Flag
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Yes , they can't quit because they are not smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:16 AM Flag
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What a waste of a phd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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I disagree. It's in child development, so I plan to use it every day. But even if it was in another field, children benefit from having a more educated mother and society benefits from having more educated citizens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:49 AM Flag
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Good for you!! I find my child development background to be invaluable in raising my children 21, 17 and 8. Best of luck to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:05 AM Flag
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Thank you. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:19 AM Flag
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Shit, you are the 26 year old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:05 PM Flag
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Only to you because you couldn't earn one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:51 AM Flag
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Honestly that's sort of a Joke degree. It's not surprising you are opting out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:25 AM Flag
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lol, You probably majored in business. The biggest joke degree there is. Enjoy your lack of critical thinking skills. Just make sure to follow your boss's directions to the T, and you should be fine. Keep telling yourself than you're no completely replaceable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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Not a business major, no. And I run my department. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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And yes, almost everyone is replaceable. But so are jobs. I'd find a new one if I lost the one I have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Who cares ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:16 AM Flag
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What's so great about running your department? Do you get off on the power? I'd rather spend that time with my DCs. "Here lies Jane. She ran her own department. She had secretaries and underlings reporting to her goddammit." does not sound like an appealing life to me. Glad you like it though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:21 AM Flag
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I do both. That's what you don't seem to appreciate. Both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:25 AM Flag
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And your department changes the world, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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Why are you getting a PH.d when you never plan to use it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:26 AM Flag
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1) Intelligent people use their educations every day. They integrate the knowledge into their life whether or not they work. 2) Raising children is pretty much the most direct use of a child development PhD there is. 3) Higher education isn't vocational school. It's not air conditioner repair lessons. It's big picture thinking that enriches the mind and soul. 4) Doing a PhD IS working and an accomplishment in itself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:24 AM Flag
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How's your relationship to anthro mom going? Is she bored of you yet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:06 PM Flag
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What's your beef wth anthro mom? Did you date an anthropology major in college who dumped you or something? Weird [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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I don't have a beef. I don't care. The 26 year old SAHM wannabe is weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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Ignoring the issue after being proved wrong. Just what I would expect from someone with such low IQ hat she can't figure out what to do with herself without a boss telling her how to spend all her time. I bet your boss has been bored of you for years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 PM Flag
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I think this troll is the person who doesn't even have kids. I seriously doubt there are actual moms Out there who don't see the benefits of SAHMs for kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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SAHM wannabe is a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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More to the point: why do you care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:00 AM Flag
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26 year old wannabe mom who is studying social work and education. Trust fund and aspie engineer boy are going to take care of her. The best laid plans...... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:05 PM Flag
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aw you sound jealous. Sorry you weren't good enough to find a man who loves you enough to support you. That must be hard for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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This. I picture her looking at her Facebook friends who married well and steaming over with anger and jealousy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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You don't have to marry well to SAHM. You can live miserly on one income even while middle class [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 PM Flag
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Modestly, not miserly hehe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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Eh, did that, back at work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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26 year old wannabe is definitely steaming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Hee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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What if it's a sad life for you, but a perfectly happy life for someone else? Not everyone wants or enjoys the same thing in life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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Cruel much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:51 AM Flag
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I think it's too bad that feminism decided women had to be more like men, rather than men had to be more like women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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You don't know much about feminism or high powered women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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I know a lot about all of that, women are supposed to be equal in the office but feminism forgot to change society, so the social role of mother and wife are still much more powerful pulls than that of father and husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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Huh? Your writing is very poor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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Fine I'm tired but if you can't get the gist... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:44 AM Flag
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It's all about ego really isn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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Many business men are like women these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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True. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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how so? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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SOOOOOOOO ture [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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"Feminism" did not decide anything. Some women decided that for themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:21 AM Flag
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I agree. How about DHs doing more at home. Why do I have the same job as DH but the school sends all the crap to me? Why am I automatically supposed to do meal planning and all doctors appointments? The school set me up with a "buddy" of another family in the school not my DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Society should go back to recognizing that men CANNOT be more like women because of biology - they do not have the burdens of reproduction and having to maintain beauty like we do. Therefore, we should be accommodated in the very few ways they can accommodate us - by PROVIDING! We put our bodies through hell to give them children, and this is not something that can be shifted over to them. Also, we are expected to be beautiful; they are not. The only burden they had was providing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 09:00 PM Flag
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This is such a ridiculous claim! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
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Stop blaming feminism. Feminism just means that you should be able to do what you want to. The reality is that working is an economic reality, not a choice, for most women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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This! The modern day SAHM NEVER existed in the past. It's a made up concept. Do you and what makes you happy but stop trying to pin feminism on your own personal laziness. FYI I support SAHM of young children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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Sing it sister, only around since after 1920s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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Again, the gross concept of SAHMs being lazy. And you really don't even see your own irony of saying women should have choices and then shitting all over women who make the choice to SAHM. Disgusting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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I disagree. I think most women (most people for that matter) just follow the crowd. Families didn't used to need two salaries. If women who didn't want to work stopped working and a majority of families had one income, prices would adjust such that society functions in a system where most families have one income and are solidly middle class and just fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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Yep learn to live within your means. Stop wanting so much stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:48 AM Flag
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Not really, because of globalization. Real wages are actually down or flat for many people since the 50s not just because of women in the workforce but also because of globalization and technology [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:30 AM Flag
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You could live on one salary if you chose to. You just want the lifestyle that two salaries provides. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:22 AM Flag
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I am a SAHM, and I do not think that every family can get by on one salary, no matter how they cut down their lifestyle. I actually feel quite fortunate to be able to do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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Most households do not have children and there are more unmarrieds than marrieds. No prices will adjust except maybe diapers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:28 AM Flag
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If half of all parents stepped out of the workforce, wages would increase significantly, because there would not be enough workers for our current system. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:23 AM Flag
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It's already happening, because it's hard for women to re-enter the workplace once they've taken some time off, they are looked negatively by the hiring managers, and likely won't be considered, even if qualified, unless it's a hook up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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It used to be much more time consuming to run a household, do laundry, prepare meals, it was truly a full time job. Not anymore, especially, since most UMC SAHMs have at least a weekly housekeeper and many also have part time help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Household chores were definitely more time-intensive, but the culture around it was different. For one, most people lived near extended family, so they did have "help", it just wasn't paid. Second, you weren't meant to enrich your child every second of every day. SAHMs in the 50s were able to do all that stuff because they "ignored" (or what we would consider to be ignoring) their kids a lot of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:13 PM Flag
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Also, there are a lot of single mom households now, compared to the past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:10 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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I will never for the life of my understand why people have kids only to have a nanny raise them. If you're not willing to scale back your lifestyle and live modestly on one salary, then I'm sorry, you should not be having kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:44 AM Flag
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Kids deserve a parent raising them. Unless the other parent is dead, then I think there needs to be one parent at home. Can be either mom or dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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Is DH not raising his kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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Do you never learn from the last time you ask this same question? He's not the full time child raising parent no. That's the SAHM. He does part time child raising. Unless the parents are wealthy enough where neither of them needs to work, someone has to bring in the money to survive. But that doesn't mean BOTH parents need to bring in the money. One can stay home to raise the kids full time. I think 80% of families can afford a SAH parent if they scale back the material spending. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:28 AM Flag
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You are in fantasyland if you think 80% of families can do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:28 AM Flag
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Why should that be the dw? And what about when kids are in school for 6 hrs a day and then do afterschool? Should the dw be home doing nothing all day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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That's the funny thing. They are not doing nothing all day. They are cleaning cooking laundry shopping for groceries yard work whatever needs to be done. School events dr appointments sports with the kids you name it. Things you may not think are important but they are. When these things are taken care of then there is more relaxed time with the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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That stuff shouldn't take 6 to 8 hours a day. And honestly, that's what you want to define yourself as? Someone who washed dirty socks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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People who are fulfilled by sah and who are good at it don't define themselves this way. Do you define yourself by the crappiest task at your job? If it's not for you don't do it but it works well for a lot of families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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It doesn't take 6 to 8 hours a WEEK. DH, DCs, and I get all household chores done before lunch on Saturdays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:27 AM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:28 AM Flag
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As opposed to one who attended meetings and worked with the "team"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:05 AM Flag
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And I think some of that stuff is important. I just manage to do it with DHs help and have a fulfilling career. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:30 AM Flag
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We hire someone to do all that. The kids don't care who cleans the floors and does the laundry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:29 AM Flag
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Exactly. I work very part time and our weekends are free for relaxing. To me this is the biggest benefit of our arrangement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:33 AM Flag
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np: I'm a SAHM from above. I don't clean or cook, we outsource that. I focus on intellectual development and emotional development or the kids and am there for them when they get home from school, which I couldn't do if I worked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:31 AM Flag
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Lol. Like posting semi incoherently on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:29 AM Flag
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sure you couldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:29 AM Flag
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It doesn't have to be the DW. My point was that a parent should stay home. Can be wither DW or DH. But kids deserve to be raised by someone who loves them, not someone who is paid to make sure they don't die [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:30 AM Flag
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ITA. I told DH I would not have children with him unless he was willing to be the SAHP. I didn't see the point of taking on all of the responsibility and risk of raising children, just to outsource them. He didn't want to give up his job, so we don't have children, and just have his first two children on weekends and holidays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:26 AM Flag
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Jesus christ, life is not the parenthood fucking olympics. Competitive parenting is IMO one of the worst things thats happened in the past 30 years or so. Your life should not end once you have kids. There is such a thing as balance... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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DH here: feminism got exactly what it wanted: emasculation of men. Also, logically if women work and you have household incomes rising accorsing, the price of goods and services must also corresponding rise. So, you need BOTH incomes (husband and wife) to live to the standard that existed in the 1950s when only the husband worked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:53 AM Flag
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"^accordingly" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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Right, this is why I said that women should stop working in greater numbers, thus reducing prices over time due to more and more families having only 1 income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:56 AM Flag
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i am not sure that would work cause so many men by themselves earn massive money in Manhattan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:01 AM Flag
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DH: that would work if substantially ALL women did this. It would contract the economy, creating a deflationary environment. It would likely be very difficult to get all market participants to act in unison. Another example: I have a elementary age son. I am (truly) raising him to be a gentlemen and to be a wonderful husband some day (assuming his orientation is in that direction). However, he is competing against girls for educational opportunities, college spots and jobs. While one might agree with my hypothesis, it is unlikely that society will "shift" to give males an advantage in education and entry level opportunities. So, the status quo will continue. BTW, I believe girls have a natural advange in education and first jobs: they are better students, more compliant, and follow authority better... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:10 AM Flag
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Many more women are in college than men. So maybe we go back to making sure at least 50% of college students are men so they will be equipped to make money and their wives will stay home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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Or we realize that women have passed men in terms of ability to build and maintain a career, and men are more suited to physical labor, and admit that men should be the SAH spouses and parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:29 AM Flag
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There are not enough women in the hard sciences for you to make that assertion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:31 AM Flag
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DH: maybe. But I do believe women are more nurturing. When I look at my son's activity, it never ceases to amaze me how young children slip into stereotyped activity. Girls play with dolls and boys try to crash through walls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:46 AM Flag
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And I'm sure that has nothing to do with your son's parents encouraging him in active play and not training him early to sit still, play gently, and be nurturing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:39 AM Flag
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I am not sure either. My 3 yr old DS is obsessed with his teddy bear and is so nurturing (showing him how to use the potty, tucks him in, shows him good videos, will not leave the house without him (we have 2 for emergencies) despite the fact that friends and family have given him at least 20 trucks he has no interest in except the flatbed to give the teddy a ride. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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Yes. This would increase the pool of available college educated men for our girls. Here is an interesting story on point: http://nypost.com/2015/05/09/girls-at-this-school-cant-find-prom-dates-because-there-arent-enough-boys/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:56 AM Flag
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Stupid article. The stupid guys flunk out so there are more girls. Lets just pass the guys so they can take the college seats and then they flunk out and everyone is poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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That makes a lot of sense. Restrict women's access to education so more of them are forced to stay home? What if they don't want to get married or they are a lesbian couple? What if the DH ditches and the SAHM is screwed because she got shut out of college on a quota? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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You are forgetting the fact that it's dangerous for women to depend on dhs. Many men are abusive physically and emotionally. More men are substance abusers. The number of suitable dhs is pretty low. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:20 PM Flag
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And more go to jail and more desert their families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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How about everyone just work part-time. Then no one has all the work pressure and if the couple separates the woman is not screwed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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How do we go back though? What about the happy medium where we all get to do what makes us happy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:58 AM Flag
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You just do it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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DH: I wish I knew! It seems that the harder some of us work, the more we struggle! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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Work smarter, not harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:30 AM Flag
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Please look back at history and see that women were at the mercy of their dhs. If they were widowed they were literally POOR. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:22 PM Flag
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MRA TROLL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:07 PM Flag
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Feminism did not do that. Men did. Feminism is just the notion that women are people too. They have choices, too. And they can choose to get an Ivy League education, go to law school, and only work inside the home raising their own children. It's their CHOICE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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It's a pathetic choice and you know it. Give that seat in law school to someone who will do something with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:31 AM Flag
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Sorry you didn't make choices that make you happy. It's just too bad for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:19 AM Flag
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Unless you go directly from law school to having kids, which is unlikely, you will have used the degree. Also, plenty of people never thought they would want to stay home and end up doing just that. Plus plenty of lawyers stop practicing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:27 AM Flag
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And plenty of SAHMs never expected to get ditched and/or have DH lose job and have to go back to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Raising your minds IS doing something. The most important something there is. You must be the bitter childless troll who hangs on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:32 AM Flag
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Or make a few more seats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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"do something"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:08 AM Flag
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It is only the choice of a small percentage of wealthy women. Most women in this country are not married and do not have kids and need their jobs just as men do. The women who would choose to work if independently wealthy are those who are very bright and talented and ambitious. No one will choose to work at Walmart if money is not an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:33 AM Flag
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Plenty of bright, talented, and ambitious women choose not to work outside of the home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 06:34 AM Flag
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Yes, UB skews heavily to the top 5% of the country. Most women have to work. This whole thread is nothing but useless navel - gazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:33 AM Flag
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NP: totally agree. I guess this thread transpired last night and it's been a funny read this morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:26 PM Flag
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I think one reason is that they see SAHMs as victims. The divorce rate is high and when SAHMs get divorced they end up impoverished. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 12:59 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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Divorce rate is 8% for college educated adults married to other college educated adults. Far lower for those with graduate education. It's not that high [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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I don't buy that at all. Have tons of college educated friends who are divorced. I don't believe you. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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Accurate statistics vs. hearsay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:09 AM Flag
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No, it's just about having choices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:27 PM Flag
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Feminism may have had something to do with it, but the brutality of late capitalism certainly played a large role. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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Too stupid; didn't read. http://i.imgur.com/tC460tO.gifv [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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Feminism is about having choices and reaching our potentials. It's still totally acceptable to be a lifetime SAHM, but many(including me) don't see it as reaching your potential. Will you blame education for making a person discontented with doing manual labor and drinking beer all day and instead seeking intellectually challenging work and wanting to read more? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:48 PM Flag
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Same np. It's not only acceptable to many. Some even brag about being able to be a lifetime SAHM. I also know people brag about their good paying blue collar jobs (pay more than mine) and beer drinking. I don't envy them though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:52 PM Flag
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There was always an expectation that lower class women work, what planet are you from? Who was sewing all the fancy outfits for the elites, cleaning their homes and making their meals, watching their kids, working in the fields, tending to farm animals, making pottery and tapestries, etc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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Feminism did nothing but open more lucrative and interesting jobs for the working class women, so that they are not limited to low paying service jobs or work with children, which is an accomplishment on part of human civilization. Even wealthy women can thank feminism, as it opened doors for them towards getting education in the fields, that were not previously easily accessible, if not for job opportunities, but for their personal enrichment. Not to mention, feminism allowed women to VOTE. How are you doing today? Dreaming of middle ages? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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DH here. Youre right, because its soooo acceptable for men to SAHM thee days. We have tons of leeway there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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Thanks for starting this topic! This has been on my mind a lot over the past many months. I agree with you that we have feminism to thank for that. And also feminism to thank for all these busy fancy corporate job men passing by a woman with a big stroller trying to go up or down the staircase of the subway and nobody (with rare exceptions) taking a minute to help, unless you directly ask for help or block their way. Also feminism to thank for men not feeling obligated anymore to open doors for a woman or to give up their seat on the subway ( a separate topic in itself - can such creatures be called men?). My DH expects me to bring income even while being a SAHM, which I guess makes me a WAHM. And then in the evening? What's for dinner? Yesterdays leftovers? No thanks, I don't eat old food. Why is the kitchen floor dirty? A modern woman is expected to do it all: look sexy, rear children and then spring back into shape 3 weeks later, make money, have a "fulfilling" career, cook, clean, manage family finances, lift strollers....and much more. Thanks a lot, feminism. I think it's okay for a woman to work or not to work. It must be her own choice (based on many factors, including financial), rather than the society's or DH's pressure. Life is too short for that nonsense and children grow up way too fast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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You have too low expectations of your own DH but too high expectation of male strangers. And you don't understand feminism. Clearly you're not a feminist, because no feminist will marry an ass who expects the wife to cook every day whether or not she works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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This is true. With "feminism", society has tried to erase all differences between men and women and the recognition that women SHOULD have preferential treatment in some areas: we aren't as physically strong as men, we have the burden of reproduction, we have to put in a lot of time/effort to fulfill society's expectations for our appearances. Men don't have to do any of this - no reproducing or spending countless precious hours waxing, blow-drying, etc. And yet, we have to share/carry their only burdens now - bringing home the bacon too! HOW are we better off???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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NP: I'm pretty well off. Married a DH is who, although not "perfect" by UB standards, is a partner in this whole thing. Guess I lucked out. And oh, who spends hours waxing and blow drying? Maybe some, but that's a real time suck. Live your lives people! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:56 PM Flag
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If you have an education, you have feminism to thank for it. Ditto the right to vote, have your own bank account or property, the right to engage with your husband on an equal footing without fear of physical violence, and the ability to see your children after a divorce. Your situation is great compared to those of women in places where feminism never gained a foothold. Your DH may complain about old food, but he can't shove you into the street and give your children to a new wife to raise because he didn't like his dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:51 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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Apparently feminism didn't teach women how to communicate using proper grammar or correct spelling. Maybe that's the biggest feminism failure of all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 04:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Any one else with a very anxious kid? Tough, tough parenting. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:22 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:29 AM Flag
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Yes, but they pick up all of our anxieties so we need to be more aware around them. The ubiquity of screens and information does not help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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yes. It has gotten better with time. Although we were in a car accident today and I'm waiting to see if this will trigger anything. So far so good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:58 AM Flag
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How does the anxiety show itself? How old is your dc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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Yes. Art therapy saved him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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Yes, CBT and DBT helped. Often "real" triggers like a car accident actually make anxious kids stronger bc they see they live through their worst imagined fears. But give extra love! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
[ - ] I live in the same building as Taylor Swift. It seriously is crazy the people I see in the elevator. Name a celebrity, I swear I've seen them. How can she seriously be friends with ALL these people?? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:20 AM Flag
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Al Pacino [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:22 AM Flag
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Robert Redford [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:23 AM Flag
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Meryl Streep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:25 AM Flag
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Kevin Spacey [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:25 AM Flag
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katy Perry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:26 AM Flag
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Pee Wee Herman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:35 AM Flag
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Bette midler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Any and every black celebrity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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Are you going to reply to our guess or is this just a vba that you constantly toss around? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:30 AM Flag
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Only one on the list above that would dare to be seen with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:35 AM Flag
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Pee Wee Herman! I KNEW IT! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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Burt Reynolds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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Neil Diamond [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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Edward James Olmos [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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Chaka khan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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I live in the same building as danica patrick, and have never seen a celebrity. boo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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because she is not a celebrity [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:53 AM Flag
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is she the wonder years person or the race car driver? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:59 AM Flag
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race car driver [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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give her a handshake, she has the strongest handshake youve ever felt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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Erik Estrada [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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This list cracked me up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:36 AM Flag
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A celebrity couple lived in our building. A celebrity tennis player came to visit. My husband refused to let her in the building without her being buzzed in. I told him he was an asshole because be obviously knew who she was. She was very understanding though and buzzed up to the apt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:49 AM Flag
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Bieber? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:30 AM Flag
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WHOOO? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 05:38 AM Flag
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Watch out for Katy Perry, I think she's dangerous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:57 AM Flag
[ - ] I have to work because DH wouldn't take a job in the suburbs that paid exactly my salary more than what he makes now. I hate him. I miss my kids 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:15 AM Flag
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Sorry. But overall good for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:25 AM Flag
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I hope so. Please explain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Always better to have a career [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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Thanks. Just in case something happens to him or for my emotional well being or what? Just trying to make myself feel better here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:33 AM Flag
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Yes, all of that, and for having your own separate world filled with the things that make you happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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Not if she's unhappy and would rather be caring for her children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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Then she should start a small daycare in her own home. She can earn money and still be with her kids all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:32 AM Flag
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Wow. What kind of work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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I'm a nurse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Does he work at all? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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Oh yes. But this would have been a bump in salary and in the suburbs so we could have had a cute house and public school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:32 AM Flag
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Sorry, no sympathy here. No reason why you shouldn't work too. As a nurse, you can have a very flexible schedule. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:33 AM Flag
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Yes I could have worked one shift a week instead of three. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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I'm crying real tears for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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Oh no! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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Really sorry. Seems like a tough situation. How did you make that decision together? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:33 AM Flag
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He just refused. He wouldn't give me any say. And it was right near a town that I gushed about all the time! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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And I didn't say that I was going to quit work, so that wasn't his reason. But everything is cheaper there so we would have been very comfortable either way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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why did he refuse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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The guy who would have become his boss was checking his emails during the interview [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 04:18 AM Flag
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So sorry :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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That wouldn't be enough to get me to move to the suburbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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You sound like a spoiled brat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Very pregnant, sciatic nerve pain so bad I can't walk at times. Literal pain in the ass. Any recs for massage therapist? Other ideas? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:14 AM Flag
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Acupuncture helped tremendously for this for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:19 AM Flag
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Acupuncture really helped me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:19 AM Flag
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Have you looked up stretches? I had good luck with stretching those muscles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:20 AM Flag
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The stretches release the pressure. Will totally work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Maybe a physical therapy session to learn a few stretches? Can't hurt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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The worst pain I've ever felt. Had to go the ER for help. Hospital prescribed heavy doses of pain killer to help me feel better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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Physiotherapy is what you need. I had really bad sciatic nerve pain when I was pregnant with my first (had to take an early maternity leave) and Marianne Ryan was able to fix it. I personally don't like acupuncture but if you are not scared of those needles, it would probably work too. Good luck! When you have free time, stand against the wall and use a tennis ball to massage your back lightly. That helped too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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It's terrible. Get on all fours a few times a day. Get a custom support belt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:58 AM Flag
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Another post that should be on a website dedicated to people who are deciding whether to have children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Do I have a right to be upset with my dil? My youngest son got engaged this week and I invited her to come to our house for a celebratory dinner on Saturday night. We only live 3 hours away but she says they won't be able to make it because they already have a mini trip booked. Is it unreasonable to expect them to change their plans around for this most amazing news? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:14 AM Flag
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I hope you're joking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:15 AM Flag
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Seriously. This has to be a troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:15 AM Flag
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no. she's that rude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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Troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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Yes. They have a trip planned and have probably already paid deposits etc. You expect her to cancel that for a last minute dinner celebrating her bil's engagement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:17 AM Flag
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And this is fake, btw, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:17 AM Flag
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Why? Not at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:18 AM Flag
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It's labor day weekend. Regardless of if they have specific set plans, they should not eat up their long weekend for this nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:17 AM Flag
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Why is it nonsense? Don't most folks have celebratory engagement parties? At least I think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:18 AM Flag
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If you are real you are cray cray. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:21 AM Flag
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Yes but they can wait until some other wknd so plans and air tickets dont have to be cancelled [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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You need to move your dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:23 AM Flag
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And you have a right to be upset if you're a narcissist. Otherwise, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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For your engagement you should expect from siblings a sincere phone call filled with love. 10 minutes tops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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Yup. I expected no more. If possible setting up a drink or dinner with said person in next pe few weeks to ohh and ah over ring and engagement story, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:27 AM Flag
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Is this crazy grandma back again!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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Calling my MIL tonight and thank her for being a nice, sweet lady. She drives me crazy sometimes but her heart is always in the right place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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of course it's unreasonable and totally narcissistic for you to assume that your son and future dil would drop everything they have planned for a holiday weekend to have a dinner with you when there are tons of other weekends from which you can choose. you sound like the worst kind of pita. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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yes. are you insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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Crazy mil is back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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Why are you upset with her? Why aren't you upset with your son? The real failure here is you: You raised a son who doesn't have the backbone to make his own decisions and stand by them, and hides behind his wife's skirt instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 08:38 AM Flag
[ - ] I have lots of clothes but suck at putting them together-- I want to look chic and a little preppy. I am in my low 30s, 135 pounds and 5' 6'' with a great figure. I work from home so my hours are flexible and I need clothes for picking up my kids, errands, lunches, coffee. I tend to hang out in gym clothes a lot unless I'm meeting clients-- I need "in between clothes". I can spend about $1,000 rebuilding my wardrobe. I love jcrew and cuyana. Where else should shop? Any tips or websites? Tried a stylist- useless, tried stitchfix, also useless. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:13 AM Flag
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OP: Sorry I meant $1,000 a month-- so over time can really start fresh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:14 AM Flag
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Fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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not fake! Need advice- sites or stores or blogs or something because obviously i don't have natural ability for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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Where do you live? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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Pinterest capsule wardrobe or french five item wardrobe. It is ALL you need. Trust. Downsize. Think french. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:53 AM Flag
[ - ] How many people live in your household and of them, matched for age, how many are 'challenging'? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:11 AM Flag
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4/2 ds and older ds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:12 AM Flag
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5/1 eldest dd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:13 AM Flag
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Three. Of them, two are challenging. DH and DC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Tori Spelling suing Benihana because she slipped and fell onto the hibachi grill. Smh... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:03 AM Flag
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Link or it didn't happen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:09 AM Flag
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What is smh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:10 AM Flag
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Jfgi. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:17 AM Flag
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Lol this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:17 AM Flag
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Stop trying to make jfgi happen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:19 AM Flag
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www.lmgtfy.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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Link police [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:13 AM Flag
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First thing on tmz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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She needs money. And publicity [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 10:57 AM Flag
[ - ] two major events have happened today that we had been dreaming of, but i'm not happy or excited. what gives? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:01 AM Flag
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What happened?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:09 AM Flag
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This. Details [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:10 AM Flag
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moving to a bigger apt and starting my business [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:22 AM Flag
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Maybe too tired and just cant deal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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Just hasn't sunk in yet. It will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 03:22 AM Flag
[ - ] two of my single friends have started attending the Manhattan adult preschool 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:01 AM Flag
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dafuq? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:02 AM Flag
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are you speaking Girl Code? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:02 AM Flag
[ - ] EmSam patch for depression - anyone used it? Side effects? Any weight gain? Thanks in advance 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:55 AM Flag
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i am watching this many of my family members are sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 01:58 AM Flag
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It was recommended to me because I am not handling other drugs well. I don't know how much it costs though -And there is no generic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.03.15, 02:12 AM Flag
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