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[ - ] Medical moms: If across cultures and throughout history men have preferred to mate with attractive women with facial symmetry and ideal hip to waist ratio due to these factors indicating fertility and health, does this then mean that ugly people with less than attractive faces are more likely to get cancer? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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No, it means the pretty ones may be more likely to expire after reproducing, because their cancer genes get to ride along with the beauty genes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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Yes. You're ugly and full of tumors. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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No. And by the way, you are COMPLETELY ignoring that throughout history young girls were and are traded by families to old, ugly men who hoarded resources or sent off the young healthy men to wars. Why aren't you talking about that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:00 PM Flag
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This. MRA troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:13 PM Flag
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Medical mom here, no. It means people who are covered head to toe in bleeding vesicles are more likely to have smallpox. That kind of thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:01 PM Flag
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I speak doctor. The translation is, "I don't know" (as it so often is) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 09:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Kindness question: It's my kids birthday. In 4th grade. 8 girls in the class. We also want/need to invite some other children from outside of school. How many girls from the class is too many to invite without inviting all of them (please keep in mind that we don't have a huge space/budget for party and have to have limits) I had thought two but DD wants to invite one more. My feeling is once it gets beyond two others than, including my kid, that's half the girls and feels too exclusionary. 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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oh my gosh its only 8 kids ...you need to invite them. she's going to spend more years in school with these kids right ? where is this party in your shower ? that you cant fit 15 kids ! ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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op: For a number of reasons, that would be too revealing we have a number of outside kids we need to invite, relationships that are important to DD and us, so this is more about not hurting anyone's feelings at school. I definitely think two is fine. Kids have playdates with two other kids all the time, it's the three that started to worry me. The more I think about it, the more I think two is the limit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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Too revealing? JFC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:59 PM Flag
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You're not as important as you think you are. Why can't you just answer the question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:00 PM Flag
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Personally I would separate and do a family party/other-people party and then do some low-key thing with school friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:26 PM Flag
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i think 1/2 the girls. so 4 in, 4 not invited. you don't want to create a minority of not invited. nice of you to think about this, many parents stop by this grade but it's when the kids start to care more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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4 including your DD so really just 3. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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This. All 8 or just 4 or fewer. I would suggest you do all 8 because 4th grade girls can be the most brutal socially of any age until full on teenagers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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Up to 4 from school, and maybe say only girls with whom she's had play dates outside of school, so real friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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^^P.S. The available budget should be divided by the number of guests -- you're doing it backward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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All or nothing when it's this small a group [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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So help me out with math.... How many guests can you have total? How many must in vote from outside the class? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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OP is hosting in her shower. Only 8 girls total at this party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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Maybe it's in their living room, or it's a slumber party, or it's a trail ride and there are only 10 ponies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:39 PM Flag
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i bet its tickets to Wicked [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:57 PM Flag
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Stop. OP - still here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:40 PM Flag
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I am, but I always ignore the UB mean girls and listen to the real advice, from people who actually want to help and aren't snarky. If one tunes out the mean girls you get very good help on UB! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:46 PM Flag
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I'm the nice mom who asked about the math... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:55 PM Flag
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OP. I am one of the "mean girls" you are referring to . I have a 6 year old girl and I think you are being a jerk. I'm sorry you think its being "mean girl" by suggesting you include all eight girls, but the mean girl here is you - the moms will think your an asshole and the 4 excluded girls will think your DD is mean. so take it how you want to, but I'm just giving an opinion , which you clearly dont want to hear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:55 PM Flag
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clearly you have a friendly popular DD. other girls feelings will be hurt they are sensitive at this age. Sorry you dont realize that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:56 PM Flag
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op: i never said it was being a mean girl to say i should include all eight and give reasons. that's an honest opinion and i am grateful for those. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:59 PM Flag
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I tell my kids that they can not be invited to every party and they completely understand this and do not consider kids "mean" for only inviting their friends. Parents have more drama about this than kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:17 PM Flag
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Same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:41 PM Flag
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Sounds like you're kind of a meal girl, OP. It's eight girls. Just invite them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:59 PM Flag
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i would do 2 separate parties with class and another for outside friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:40 PM Flag
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op: this would have been a good idea. I'm not sure I can swing it though. Most of you have been very helpful. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:48 PM Flag
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Overkill [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:55 PM Flag
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OMG just invite the class friends. It's eight kids, four of whom will show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:02 PM Flag
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Just invite all of them. They won't all come. You said you were already going to invite 2. Plus your DD, so you're only leaving out 5. Just invite the other 5. They'll appreciate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:46 PM Flag
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OP is an idiot, we are all saying the same thing and she's sticking with her obnoxious plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:57 PM Flag
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This. Why'd you ask then? Clearly you want to be THAT mom.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:06 PM Flag
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I'd say stick with one group or the other. Don't complicate it by trying to figure out how to do both is crazy if your space/budget/time is tight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:12 PM Flag
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Whoops, intersection of two thoughts: delete "is crazy" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:13 PM Flag
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I think it is fine to invite three girls from the class. I would not think twice about this as a parent. There have been plenty of parties that my kids did not get invited to. I do not care and my kids share my attitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:18 PM Flag
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invite 3 and stop over thinking this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 12:54 AM Flag
[ - ] I just graduated and will be moving to work as a dermatologist in an area of California where appearances are very important. DH and I are still burdened with tons of loans and have a young baby so don't want to spend a lot on clothes, handbags etc. Any tips on stores or brands that will look sophisticated but not break the bank? Thanks! 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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White House Black Market used to be pretty awesome for this, but I feel like they've kind of gone more hippie / casual in the last year or so? Not knowing what your style is makes this harder. I will lie heavily on Nordstrom Rack and Neiman Marcus Last Call for business casual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:24 PM Flag
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*rely heavily [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:25 PM Flag
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Clearance pages both last call and rack usually have a lot of great stuff, it may be off season but where you are moving to a warmer climate I assume you can kind of go with things that can be layered [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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Thanks! I have a pretty classic style mainly work dresses, and Neutral slacks and tops. Mainly get stuff from banana republic, loft, and Nordstrom currently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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Same or ^^^ I've also found some brands I like at good prices on 6pm.com and outnet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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California is very casual. Invest in a few great pairs of jeans and you'll be fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:27 PM Flag
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Doctors do not wear jeans to work, not even in CA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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If they are young and slender, they could definitely wear jeans, a blouse and attractive flats woth a lab coat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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Maybe if they own the practice but it's certainly not widely accepted. Definitely not approved dress code if they are part of a group practice or affiliated with a hospital [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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I meant more for off hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:48 PM Flag
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OP: going to be in OC area [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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Go to a Nordstrom Rack type store and by some nice, professional looking dresses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:48 PM Flag
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NP Not sure if this helps you, but my derm wears jeans. I love him but he is kind of hot so I hate going to the full body checks since I am overweight. I am in Silicon Valley and our doctors are all what this board calls TT. They are superstars. My kid's pediatrician is in her 50s, no kids, and has a beautiful wardrobe but many of the other docs in the practice and our other doctors wear scrubs or jeans. Don't stress about wardrobe. All you need is the white coat. HA HA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:04 PM Flag
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You sound so nice - and smart! good for you! ...but anyway...dont overthink it ...I would stick with a classic style "uniform"...will you wear a lab coat over your daily clothes ? I'd invest in 4 pair of ivory , navy, white pants. does not have to be designer...theory, ann taylor trousers would be professional and classic. do a variety of solid colors ( NO prints) blouses. nude comfortable flats, kitten heels etc. basic and pretty. just keep rotating your 'uniform'. no one needs 35 blouses in their closet. every 6 months , do a refresh, buy 5 or 6 new tops a couple times per year. no top should cost more than 60 dollars, there are so many sales online all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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Just swipe things from your clients while they're anesthetized. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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Or trade services for their stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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OP where did you go to high school and college ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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New England area for both [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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You will be wearing a lab coat. No one will see your clothes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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She will still need to attend meetings and events that are business-related and require a nice basic wardrobe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:37 PM Flag
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I thought you were going to ask how you can improve your own appearance, since no one will want a derm who doesn't look great! Guess you're already beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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i was going to add to this ...make sure your own skin and teeth are flawless. this goes a long way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:37 PM Flag
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dont wear a lot of makeup yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:37 PM Flag
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Are you tall, short, thin, chubby? My mom was a doctor. She liked the pants from Old Navy and nice, stylish, relatively inexpensive sweaters (with comfortable shoes). But she wore awesome, real jewelry and it made anything look nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:38 PM Flag
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love this tip ! i also find that pearl earrings, the ivory ones, not the pure white ones, take every outfit up a notch. tie your hair back in a ribbon. find a signature lovely look. also i love monochromatic outfits, always classy. all navy, all ivory, all heather grey etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:40 PM Flag
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OP: thanks for the tip! I'm pretty average: around 5'7", 130lb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:46 PM Flag
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OP: Any advice on the handbags? I just have a traditional black Kate Spade one. So many of the derms here have Birkins etc..but obviously that is way out of budget. Hoping just to have something classic and inconspicuous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:48 PM Flag
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You don't have to go Birkin but a few steps up from Kate Spade. Can't go wrong with a black Prada. It's subtle but those who know, know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:01 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks! What about something like Saint Laurent Sac De Jour? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:04 PM Flag
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Oh FFS, if she's young, a Kate Spade is more than fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:03 PM Flag
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Love my plain black balanciaga that I got on gilt. They have deals on them often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:22 PM Flag
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None of your patients are going to see your purse! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:05 PM Flag
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Not directly responding to your question, but have you checked out whitecoatinvestor.com? A great site for young doctors who have huge student loans to deal with. Good luck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:48 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks! I actually love his blog and have read the book as well! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:51 PM Flag
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Zara [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:00 PM Flag
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You're going to be wearing a white jacket in a small room with a client. You won't be holding a bag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:27 PM Flag
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OP: I'm just a little self-conscious because the other doctors in the practice will be in and out of my office and see my things and also for work events and dinners. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:52 PM Flag
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Hi Aunt Bertha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:05 PM Flag
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Uniqlo, Vince, sales at Mohawk Gen Store [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 09:42 PM Flag
[ - ] How do I know if I need a male to male or male to female HDMI cord? So confused! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:16 PM Flag
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If it's indented in, it's a female. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:18 PM Flag
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All HDMI cords have male ends on both sides. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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Depends on what you're trying to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I buy maternity spanx in midtown today? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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Sacks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:20 PM Flag
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*Saks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:20 PM Flag
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Bloomingdales [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:20 PM Flag
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Keep it loose to make sure enough oxygen is getting to placenta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:37 PM Flag
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Shut up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:39 PM Flag
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Do you even have a brain between your ears? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:42 PM Flag
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NP: Do YOU? Do you know for a fact this is safe when pregnant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 09:12 PM Flag
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There is nothing that Spanx can accomplish externally that will decrease oxygen to the placenta. You are seriously an idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 10:01 PM Flag
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Why the hell would you need spanx when you're pregnant - exhale, sweetheart [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Have we discussed LaVar Ball yet? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:11 PM Flag
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Everything he is saying is due to the reality show. His kid is too young for the NBA and it's his fault the kid's shot looks so unacceptably loopy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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He's as cray as the orange guy. It's a match made in heaven. Neither one has any self awareness and ridiculous egos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:17 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:27 PM Flag
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I never thought I would EVER be on Trump’s side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:19 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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I'm still not. I don't see any evidence that Trump did anything personally. I see much more evidence of China wanting to save face by letting some dumb college kids get a pass while the American President was on an official visit. How shameful, wishing some kids got 10 YEARS (for shoplifting sunglasses!) because their dad didn't kiss his ass enough. They had a fucking press conference with the athletes already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:42 PM Flag
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NP: same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:53 PM Flag
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Disagree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:01 PM Flag
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I am not on Trump's side on this one. Trump is a pathetic loser and he has reached an even lower low here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 12:20 AM Flag
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Who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Say you are staying at the home of a guy you started dating (long distance) for the 1st time. What kind of gift would you show up with? Cannot just go empty-handed, but don't feel I know him enough to get it 100% right, so it will have to be a generic gift that almost every guy appreciates. 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:10 PM Flag
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Food and sex toys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:11 PM Flag
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bingo. anal beads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 12:21 AM Flag
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Booze. Get a nice bottle of bourbon and call it a day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:11 PM Flag
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DH here. Of course you can go empty handed. If you feel you absolutely must, bring something that fits what you know about him. A book in a subject he's interested in? A gift cheese plate? Unlike women, we do not go onto a men's site and complain about the inappropriate gifts our girlfriends and wives give us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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how is she supposed to carry the cheese plate on the plane ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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Right, has to be something easy. I was already called "desperate and weird" on this thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:45 PM Flag
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Hahahahahaha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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"we do not go onto a men's site and complain about the inappropriate gifts our girlfriends and wives give us" THANK YOU!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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Is Baileys too girly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:42 PM Flag
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Yes, no one drinks Baileys. Gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:49 PM Flag
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Seriously? I love a bit in winter! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:03 PM Flag
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I think so. A quality bottle of scotch or bourbon if he's into that sort of thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:00 PM Flag
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Thanks! will give the Glenmorangie a try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:04 PM Flag
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Glenmorangie is better? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:46 PM Flag
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I would not show up with a gift. *I* am the gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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This. Op sounds desperate and weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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Agree. You don't need a gift in this scenario. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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This. The sexual favors will more than pay the way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:12 PM Flag
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Rubbers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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Food/wine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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Do you have dc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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Yikes. So many things wrong with this post. Where to start... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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For Thanksgiving? bring wine or a good bottle of whiskey. Offer to bring a dish for the meal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:16 PM Flag
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is this an overnight ? go spend on some amazing Lingerie and spa treatments and be gorgeous and smell good. if he has a dog, bring treats for the dog. Bring a bottle of wine to share or homemade chocolate chip cookies. (only home-made) . thats it - anything else is "trying too hard". like the guy above said, guys dont care about this at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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home-made cookies isn't trying too hard? talk about things guys don't care about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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nope - the point is to make it look effortless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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Ok, effortless means I should buy something at the airport then. What? Is Baileys too girly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:42 PM Flag
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Trump Toilet Paper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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His house or house his parents live in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:43 PM Flag
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His [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:44 PM Flag
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What does he drink? The bourbon suggestion above is a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:51 PM Flag
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Which brand? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:03 PM Flag
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I'm not a bourbon drinker. Maybe do a new post and ask [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:10 PM Flag
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I really don't think a guy is going to be expecting a hostess gift. If you don't know him well enough to think "I'll bring him a book/a bottle of booze/some candy" then maybe you shouldn't be flying to visit him. Enjoy white slavery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:30 PM Flag
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Enjoy white slavery??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:22 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the reputation of Nightingale & Convent Sacred Heart ...what types of families ? What are the students like ? How many do each accept in K ? TIA! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:07 PM Flag
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they both take around 40 for K but CSH has a section of prek so the total K class is around 55. CSH is world headquarters for rich Catholics. The trustee list is absurdly long and loaded with hedge fund folks. Facilities are outstanding. Nightingale just finished a long expansion project and is a great place to send a DD too, just has difficult competition from B S C for top girls school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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thank you so much! i loved these both. more than BSC. we are catholics, not rich, just normal... i did feel more glitz and money in the air during my visits to CSH than at Nightingale. just wondering where we would fit better as a family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:18 PM Flag
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There seems to be a lot of this fit anxiety this yr on the board. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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for 50K, you better feel like it's the right fit! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:07 PM Flag
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They're both great schools. One has religious component and other doesn't . CSH is bigger and has Fieldhouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:57 PM Flag
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Wealthy, reasonably if not unusually intelligent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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CSH is fancy. In high school a bigger pool of girls come in and it feels slightly less fancy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Only one more day until my very favorite pet peeve - people who post photos of their family enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with aluminum cooking trays being used to serve food on the table. I honestly don't know how people can be this classless. Listen - if you are planning to serve your Thanksgiving dinner out of aluminum trays tomorrow, please take a few minutes today to go to the dollar store or Target or Wal Mart or Homegoods or really almost any store and spend $25 on a serving tray and a few bowls. 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:06 PM Flag
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LOL so true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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It's all gone to hell since women started working! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:13 PM Flag
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Agreed, it is awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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S**t women care about and that men don't have to spend one moment of their lives worrying about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:14 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:31 PM Flag
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Be careful -- "paper plates on Thanksgiving" mom is out here somewhere, just waiting to brand you judgmental. I'm with you though. Very nice platters and vegetable dishes at every thrift shop in the land. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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As a person that spent the last year doing chemotherapy and recovering from major surgery, you really need to something more important to care about. I will break it to you. All if this stupid superficial shit does.not.matter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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Thank you for saying this. Who is around your table matters, not what's on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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Hugs for you. Who the hell judges table setting?? What's next, the centerpiece is not fancy enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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Thank you. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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Agree 100%. I like nice serving platters/bowls but wouldn't think twice if aluminum were used. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:41 PM Flag
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It's food. Who cares. For huge dishes, aluminum is fine. How is this any better than buying catered food and just dumping them on "fine" platters? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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This reductionist attitude could apply to anything. Why bother cleaning your clothes? They're just clothes. Why bother mowing your lawn? It's just a lawn - it'll die eventually. Why bother spending time with your family? They already know who you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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You do what is important to you. Some people care about things you might not find important [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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Why bother with other people's business? Pay attention to your own snobby thanksgiving. No one here cares what you think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:44 PM Flag
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I am hosting about 45 people in my CA backyard. (It’s going to be hot,) there will be aluminum. And plastic plates. Nobody cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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Well, it depends. I'd rather spend my Thanksgiving with our friends, very good food and lots of happiness & warmth and aluminum pans, then with cold, judgmental SIL, excellent food and fine china. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:38 PM Flag
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+10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:03 PM Flag
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amen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 04:58 AM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 04:59 AM Flag
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My MIL has 30 people that come. She puts the catering trays on warmers on a very long buffet. There isn't enough serving ware to put that much food in anything other than the catering containers they arrived in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:44 PM Flag
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Exactly. You cannot keep platters warm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:45 PM Flag
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We'll have an amazing day tomorrow with food cobbled together from several homes, we'll eat off of paper plates so that no one has to be saddled with clean-up duty, we'll all wear whatever clothes are comfortable, and it will be absolutely amazing. This is the way that my cousins and I have chosen to do it after years of horribly stuffy Thanksgivings that were much more about appearances than about family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:51 PM Flag
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I bet the food is yummier now too :). Have Thanksgiving. You are a real one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:14 PM Flag
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Awww, and you're a nice one! Happy Thanksgiving to you! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:53 PM Flag
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OP reminds me of one of my childhood friends: we just attended the wedding of a mutual friend's son, and it was a very beautiful event. She called me the following day: can you believe they did so-and-so in the church, and the food was this and the waiters were that, etc. etc. Why can't OP just enjoy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:53 PM Flag
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NP ITA. This reminds me of what my mom would say - she always looks for something to criticize and refuses to enjoy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:08 PM Flag
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you do you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:07 PM Flag
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Amen! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:54 PM Flag
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The woman I admire most is a nuclear physicist with 4 kids, does a ton of charitable, church and school volunteering, just incredibly kind. Serves from tins on plastic and paper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:22 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 05:00 AM Flag
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right? get your values straight, OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 05:01 AM Flag
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While you are out shopping at Walmart don’t forget to pick up black plastic garbage bags for the turkey carcass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:47 PM Flag
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I think you're missing the point of the meal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:56 PM Flag
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Nobody with actual class cares about this sort of shit, tbh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 05:12 AM Flag
[ - ] What fun events are held in December at your DC's school? Our school (public) has a winter concert, a breakfast with Santa on a Saturday morning, and a gingerbread house decorating event, where every kid gets their own kit. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:05 PM Flag
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A Saturday "winter fest" with all sorts of crafts, music performances, face painting, etc. etc. Just had the fall concert yesterday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:16 PM Flag
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holiday sing along. makes me cry every year! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] If you work for a very small firm, what amount of maternity leave did you receive, and was it all paid or did you use disability benefits too? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:03 PM Flag
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12 weeks per FMLA. 8 weeks paid (but I believe they use the firm's disability policy to pay). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:07 PM Flag
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FMLA only kicks in when you have 50 employees, we're smaller [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:10 PM Flag
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Haha. ZERO unpaid. I took two weeks vacation then worked from home for 6 weeks. Was the hardest thing I ever did. I needed the money though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:09 PM Flag
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That is literally insane. Can you believe we live in a 1st world country?! I am so so sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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I do agree we should change parental leave policies, but I don’t think it’s insane, esp for professionals who can save ahead of time. You know going into it that you will need to cover your time off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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NP: but why should they have to, save ahead of time I mean? That's not even possible for most of this country. Most other world leaders give a year at least and many give a year or more paid and then up to three unpaid but with job protection. It's actually pretty disgusting how we treat new parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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If you think America is going to require businesses to give one year paid maternity/paternity leave in your lifetime you are going to be very disappointed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:57 PM Flag
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NP nobody thinks that. She's giving an example. 6 weeks is totally doable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:58 PM Flag
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Of course they're not - can't I still find it pathetic? My kids are grown and this uterus is closed so I have no dog in this fight. I was "lucky" to get twelve fully-paid weeks, but it's just not how the rest of the civilized world works in 2017. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:07 PM Flag
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But you can't always plan on that. My husband was suddenly laid off and unemployed 6 months prior. I have massive student loans and I live in an expensive city. I could have technically taken the time off unpaid but it would just cause me more stress. In the end it worked out. Babies just sleep all day the first few months anyway. I actually felt lucky I was able to work from home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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That's the thing though. Men will NEVER have to do that. Can't you see how unfair that is? And can't you see that we are one of the only countries in the entire world who have people who think like that? Lawyers, CEOs, and other professionals in Denmark get a year off with no need to "save ahead of time." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:47 PM Flag
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seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:51 PM Flag
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let me guess. you're a firm believer in trickle down economics too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:52 PM Flag
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Working with my clients who are primarily closely held businesses in the $75m to $150m range, far and away the biggest push back to more generous paid maternity leave is the number of women and men who take the pay and quit when it runs out. I've heard the argument the paid leave that is fully earned and vested benefit and there is nothing unethical about using it to the full extent then quitting, but I can tell you most small business owners don't see it that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:55 PM Flag
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They should include a clawback in their caregiver leave policy then - easy peasy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:01 PM Flag
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It's a good point. People seriously do take advantage. It sucks for the rest of us who don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:01 PM Flag
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^^^This includes women business owners. It is viewed as being very common and very unethical by decision makers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:02 PM Flag
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How small are we talking? I'm an in-house employment lawyer in a quasi-HR role and see tons of our small clients giving anywhere from 6, 8, 12 fully-paid weeks off. If you are in NY keep in mind that the New York Paid Family Leave law (NYPFL) is going into effect on 1/1/18. You will be eligible for 8 partially-paid weeks beyond short-term disability (STD) starting then. So let's say you get 6 weeks under STD, once that's over you are eligible for 8 more with job protection, for a total of 14 weeks. If you're company doesn't have an official policy you may suggest to them that they give X amount to you fully paid (why not ask for the whole thing?) - the company actually the reimbursements from STD and NYPFL if they continue your salary during leave, so it's not too big a burden for them... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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We have less than a dozen people, and yes in NYS with the new law. Wondering how much I can stack or ask for. The firm doesn't have a written policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:16 PM Flag
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Depending on whether you have a regular birth or c-section you're eligible for 14 or 16 in total - that's what you're legally entitled to beginning in 2018 once STD and NYPFL are stacked. If they don't have a written policy I'd ask for fully-paid leave and let them decide to give you less if they want to. Again - they'll be receiving the reimbursements from both of those programs so they're not actually paying 100% of your salary that whole time. Also, what type of company is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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Financial services. I didn't realize the company would get reimbursed. Interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:26 PM Flag
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Ok, so all of my clients are NYC hedge funds/PE - so this info is relevant for you: most of our clients give some portion of fully-paid leave, if not all. If they're over 25 or so employees I see them offering 12 weeks mostly, and some of the smaller ones do less, but more and more the small ones are willing to do this too. Ask for full pay - the worst that can happen is they say no and give you less, but they're not likely to give you none. Does your company have an HR department, or do they use a PEO like ADP/TriNet/Insperity/Justworks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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yes PEO. do your clients still give vacation days, or will they ask me to extinguish those as part of my paid time off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:40 PM Flag
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They can ask you to use sick/vaca during the STD elimination period, the first week after leave starts, when STD hasn't kicked in yet, but NYPFL doesn't allow employer to require use of sick/vaca (but NYPFL kicks in way later). I work at one of those PEOs - your employer should def ask them how to get reimbursement by STD/NYPFL, the PEO can help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:58 PM Flag
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I quit to SAH, and the people I worked for gave me a big, fat check that was the company's standard amount of severance at my length of service, which I thought was super nice of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:17 PM Flag
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I worked for a small law firm. About 15 employees. I took 17 weeks unpaid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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^ im glad I had the unpaid leave. If my small company were forced to pay for parental leave, thy would have wanted me back sooner to start recouping the losses. Instead, they told me I could just come back whenever I wanted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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Anyone know if there's a company size limit to when the unpaid leave kicks in? My company has only 11 employees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:00 PM Flag
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If you're in NY read the discussion above, you're entitled to partially-paid leave regardless of company size. Unpaid FMLA leave kicks in at 50+ employees, but you don't need that if you have NYPFL - same job protection but with pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Gf just told me that she has put something on the back burner for a while now and that she will discuss with me face to face next week and that after the discussion I will want to break up with her. She says is not cheating related. This is giving so much stress. 49 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:00 PM Flag
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Sucky thing for her to do. Either it is breakup worthy or it's something small and not worth this stress. Either way, jerk thing to do for her to create this stress and then wait a week. Break up with her now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:03 PM Flag
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I really love her and I can't let go without knowing what it is. I am having a nervous break down. Can she do this because of PMS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:07 PM Flag
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FAKE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:02 PM Flag
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BS. I hate people who introduce conversations they are not ready to have for hours/days/weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:03 PM Flag
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OP: she says its about her and not me, which I feel like its BS. She says she doesn't say she wants to break up but that I would want to break up with her after the talk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:06 PM Flag
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she's not gay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:07 PM Flag
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Doesn't want to get married / have kids? Still in love with her ex? Wants to relocate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:09 PM Flag
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Its not married or kids bc I know she doesn't want those. relocate maybe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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don't think she could put that on the back burner though. maybe she's attracted to women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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^ this. doesnt want kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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or has Herpes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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We are same sex couple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:16 PM Flag
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Maybe she's decided she's not gay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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why does she have to wait so long ? where is she ? is she away for Thanksgiving ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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she is away for Thanksgiving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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I thought it was only men who said it's about me, not you when they want to break up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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This sucks. Since you already know the ending, will having the conversation give you any peace of mind. You may want to just call it a day. Watch Seinfeld. George invented the "It's not you, it's me" routine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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This is a lot of drama for her to lay on you. I know you say you love her but this really is uncool. Huge red flag w how she's dealing w this regardless of what it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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Trying to think what it could be ? if its not cheating related ...are you a same sex couple ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:09 PM Flag
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yes we are same sex couple [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:12 PM Flag
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OOOh bingo. She's into men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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Sorry OP. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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She is BI I already know that. We are both BI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:24 PM Flag
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If she's bi she may have decided she is wanting to be w a man ultimately. This is not about you. Sucks how she's dealing w it though, sorry op. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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Of course you made it vague. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:03 PM Flag
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Drama queen. Tell her that you don't deserve to be put through hell for the next week waiting to find out what it is, so she needs to tell you now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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This. People who pull this shit aren't worth your time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:14 PM Flag
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Something she told you early on isn't true? Didn't graduate from college, lied about her age (do lesbians do that?), something like that? She's not allergic to cats -- she just hates them, and that's why you had to have yours put down? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:19 PM Flag
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Got arrested for stealing a scarf in Bloomingdales and had to do Community service ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:23 PM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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the first are okay, the last is a deal breaker! Did you have to put your cat down, OP? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:24 PM Flag
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No pets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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Nothing like that. We fight a lot so there is definitely compatibility issues. But we both know this for over a year now. Its not like she is putting this in the back burner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:25 PM Flag
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has over $200K in debt, committed a horrible crime as a child, is related to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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She likes peen occasionally and hopes you are ok with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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Heh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:14 PM Flag
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She wants to marry a man but keep you on the side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:32 PM Flag
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I know she’s your girlfriend, but what a B. This would make me nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:33 PM Flag
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Agree. Sounds like something a man would do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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Ditto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:15 PM Flag
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Tell her the set up is stressful and you'd rather hear what it is now than wait for days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:37 PM Flag
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I am afraid of what she will tell me. So I might wait. I can't deal with fighting with her now and ruin my week. I have kids and she doesn't so I have to put up a front while heart broken inside. Maybe its better to not know now. The stress is a bit easier to deal than complete heart break. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:55 PM Flag
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Super shitty of her to do this right before a holiday. You need to dump her. She is self centered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:15 PM Flag
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Sorry but I think it’s about your kids. Either she wants kids or she doesn’t like your children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:49 PM Flag
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She sounds insane and horribly selfish. Run, don't walk away now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:58 PM Flag
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Shitty of her to make you sweat it out. Powe play. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:14 PM Flag
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Start mentally and emotionally preparing to break up. That's why she dropped the hint, so you would show up mad and wouldn't cry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:34 PM Flag
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I would turn the table and insist she tells you now so you can get on with your day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.23.17, 04:03 PM Flag
[ - ] https://www.sciencealert.com/people-who-constantly-pick-up-grammar-mistakes-are-kinda-jerks-scientists-find 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:59 PM Flag
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I admit it and I own it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:07 PM Flag
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Moi aussi. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:47 PM Flag
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Hee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:03 PM Flag
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Don't even care [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:34 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't understand why everyone thinks wedding planning is so stressful. If you had a bigish wedding, what were the major sources of your stress? 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:42 PM Flag
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I was not stressed. But I just didn't care much about every detail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:43 PM Flag
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Same. My mom and the wedding planner did most of the work. I only cared about my dress and venue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:46 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:18 PM Flag
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That most plans had to be coordinated during the work week when i was working [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:44 PM Flag
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duh, this. Hard to do especially when you don't have privacy at work for personal phone calls. Also hard to do if your wedding doesn't take place in the city where you live/work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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That last thing is the mark of a bridezilla though. All weddings should happen where the bride lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:19 PM Flag
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Not if bride has elderly family members who cannot travel, wtf. People these days live far from where they grew up they relocate for jobs. If my job is in NYC and my family is on the West Coast and DHs is in midwest does it really make sense to do NYC wedding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:38 PM Flag
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it's a lot of details and vendors to coordinate... photog, transportation, hotel rooms, reception, florist, band, dresses/tuxes, church, programs, menus, favors, any after parties or brunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:45 PM Flag
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The guest list [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:46 PM Flag
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Amen, sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:17 PM Flag
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OMG, it was all family politics/drama/wrangling for control. I actually cared the least about my wedding details, but that made my family and DH mad too -- they *wanted* me to have an opinion, but when my opinion clashed with what they wanted, they had to draw me into long conversations about *why* what they wanted made more sense. It was so miserable. I remember someone telling me that getting through a big wedding was the first major test of marriage, and that a good reason not to get divorced was so that we wouldn't have to go through that again! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:46 PM Flag
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Poster below and this. Everyone all of a sudden has an opinion and feels they have a say. And everyone expects things from you whether it's that you invite them dress shopping, make them a bridesmaid, have a certain kind of ceremon, more flowers less greenery, why haven't you sent the save the dates out yet? Isn't it supposed to be 6 month before? Etc etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:50 PM Flag
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Exactly! Everyone came from a place of love, but they were WAY over-invested. My parents paid, so they felt they ought to call the shots, but of course DH has specific things *he* wanted (photographer, music) and we were willing to pay but parents hated the idea of ceding control. Meanwhile his family also wanted to "help out" and do the invitations and favors, but then of course what they wanted didn't work with what my parents wanted *or* what DH wanted -- again, everybody was just really excited (we were the first kids on both sides to get married), but man oh man it was a hot mess. The wedding itself was great, though! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:52 PM Flag
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Totally get it. Same. And yes, best day of my life. Absolutely worth it however would never want to go through an engagement and wedding planning again. Therapist also told me it was a great way to learn boundaries and figure it out before everyone has an opinion on your parenting and choices you make for your children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:59 PM Flag
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Yes, those who pay are always in control and don't want to surrender it, it's really one of the major sources of family related stress. It gets messier when people split costs too, lots of bitter feelings. When people are not financially invested but only emotionally invested they tend to cooperate a lot more, because they know someone else is footing the bill at the end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:17 PM Flag
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PP above and I don't think this is always the case--ILs offered to pay for invites & favors and were turned down; they were *incredibly* hurt by that. As a parent myself now, I can see it from their perspective--their first child's wedding; a HUGE occasion for them, tons of their friends/extended family (with whom they are very close) in attendance, and they wanted to feel like "hosts" also. When you have large, tightly-knit families, a wedding is not just the union of two couples, it's the union of two communities. It's not easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:19 PM Flag
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Their opinions matter a lot less when you pay for it yourself, and they know it. So, it's a matter of you putting your foot in the door and trust me when they don't pay a penny they shut up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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I thought it was awful but I also wanted everything to be absolutely perfect and was very overwhelmed that family and friends were suddenly involved in my life and wanted to know dress colors, styles, dates, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:47 PM Flag
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It requires agreement/compromise with your spouse and graciously accepting input from parents, in-laws and others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:48 PM Flag
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My mother in law [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:48 PM Flag
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They can be stressful. Families can get nutty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:00 PM Flag
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Much easier to control if you pay for the wedding yourself. Financing your own wedding cuts out 90% of family drama or at least 80%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:11 PM Flag
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Not so easy with my MIL. She insisted on paying and insisted on having everything her way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:13 PM Flag
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It's still up to you to take her offer. Sounds like she really really wanted to be in control and that's where you put your foot in the door and pay yourself to just avoid the drama. If you surrender and take her cash, you are also surrendering any power you have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:19 PM Flag
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You seem to think that I could have made this call without my DH's input. Of course I said I will just pay. Marriage planning just like marriage is about compromise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:42 PM Flag
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Had a midsize wedding but the planning itself wasn't the stressful part, it was the people either not following basic etiquette or having strong opinions on the event. If everyone would have just followed basic rules and shown up when they were supposed to, would have been zero stress [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:04 PM Flag
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ITA, we had guests show up who RSVPed no and fortunately some YES RSVP guests didn't make it, otherwise we would have had no seats at tables. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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weddings bring out the worst in people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:06 PM Flag
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Late rsvps, mil & fil staying got our house for 3 days prior to the wedding and expecting to be entertained and waited on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:10 PM Flag
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"Our" house? Nice girls don't have that problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:20 PM Flag
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Fuck you, sister Mary elephant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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It's stressful when someone is paying for it, because then they are in control and their opinions matter a lot more than if you finance your own wedding. I paid for my own wedding 100% and planning was not that difficult, because I cut out the drama, it was my way or a highway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:10 PM Flag
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Same with me. We paid even though both families offered. We did what we wanted and had a great time. We were not stressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:19 PM Flag
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I'd say the major source of stress is a culture crash if you and DH are from different cultures and have different ideas of wedding etiquette and how weddings should be celebrated, how many people invited, what traditions to follow, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:24 PM Flag
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I was about to turn 30 and had never planned any kind of event before. Never planned a formal dinner. Millions of decisions to make about something I really had no idea about. My parents lived overseas so my mother was not involved at all in any decisions, they just flew in for the wedding. Dh's family lived far away so none of them (who I have since learned are excellent event planners, ha ha!) could help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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Did you know there's an old, old etiquette rule that says the wedding reception should be in keeping with the type of entertaining the family does normally? People who don't throw black tie dinner dances on Saturday night as a rule shouldn't have a wedding reception that is a black tie dinner dance on a Saturday night. We should bring back this rule -- it would make weddings much more tolerable, imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:44 PM Flag
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Finding a date where my parents' church and country club aligned without it being a holiday or a conflict with other weddings or significant event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:00 PM Flag
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My dad said there must be beer. MIL said beer was NOKD. My parents said there must be salmon. MIL said if there was salmon then dh would anaphylax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Refrigerator is 20 years old. came with apartment I bought. Feels a little warm. Repair or replace? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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Replace [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:18 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:34 PM Flag
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life of appliances is 8-10 years. they wont even make the part you need anymore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:42 PM Flag
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Sadly true. I had a stove that was 14 years old, something burnt out this summer during an electrical surge. Repair guy said it was an easy repair, but he was unable to get a part anywhere since they did not make them anymore - so I had to buy a new stove. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:04 PM Flag
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I think this is only semi-true. We have a nice refrigerator and the electrical board went out this past summer. Fridge is 13 years old. We replaced it ourselves for 40 bucks after watching a Youtube video. No reason to replace it otherwise because it still looks new and functions perfectly (now that it's fixed). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:35 PM Flag
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Also, reading all the "are you kidding, replace it" replies makes me think I'm wealthy because I don't leap to spend a few thousand dollars unless I need to. Just saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:36 PM Flag
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I would attempt a repair. All these new appliances break in like five years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:52 PM Flag
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On a 20 yo fridge? The cost of the tech and the part will be 1/2-1/2 the cost of a new fridge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:54 PM Flag
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They don't last. she'll be buying another new one in five years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:10 PM Flag
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How much longer do you think a 20 yo fridge that is having issues is going to last? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:30 PM Flag
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No kidding, a long ass time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:36 PM Flag
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First invest in a thermometer to be sure. Did you do a big shop yesterday? Maybe it's still working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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Buy a new one!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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Replace. Get yourself a deal on Black Friday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:35 PM Flag
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Did you bump the temperature dial/setter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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do you seriously need to ask, replace 100% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:38 PM Flag
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I bought a new oven yesterday to replace a broken one that is 17 years old. Yet my mother has had her oven for at least 40 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:19 PM Flag
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Yup. You were lucky at 17. I got brand new everything 10 years ago and every appliance has been replaced so far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:37 PM Flag
[ - ] what happened with the investigation of Kevin Spacey attacking Heather Unruh's son? I thought the DA on Cape Cod was investigating? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:40 PM Flag
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It takes a lot more than a week or two to investigate something that happened a year and a half ago, they can't just go Bringing up charges. Chill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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What?! Jusf makes you realize how powerful men have always been assholes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm 33. There's a 34-year-old guy who likes me. Should I just settle? I'm not attracted to him and he's kind of dull but not a *bad* guy. 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:40 PM Flag
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OP: What percent of you were madly in love on your wedding day? Do most women settle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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1st wedding age 29, no. 2nd wedding age 46, yes. Take as you will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:54 PM Flag
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Opposite for me. Mad love does not mean a good partner. I should have been more practical the first time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:01 PM Flag
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Well, being practical got me divorced within 10 years. So... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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Madly in love only got me 2 years of marriage, but I get your point! I think the ideal is falling madly in love with someone who will be a good partner, which I think is something I didn't have a great sense of at 22. I'm not really claiming someone should settle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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Maybe impractical would only have lasted five. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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+1! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:37 PM Flag
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I was madly in love with my DH when I got married and I met him when I was 37. Do NOT settle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:54 PM Flag
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How old was he? How did you meet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:59 PM Flag
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He was 39. We met on line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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DH is truly the love of my life, can't imagine not having him. Even if we didn't make it as a couple, we'd be one of those weird blended families because he's truly my person and my best friend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:05 PM Flag
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OP: Ugh. I'm jealous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:12 PM Flag
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Nooooo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:42 PM Flag
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is he a good provider and trustworthy? if so i will settle. your dcs will be the real love of your life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:43 PM Flag
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I think you're on to something there. I'm obsessed with my DCs. DH just gets in the way of that LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:58 PM Flag
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You have a long life ahead of you to feel “meh” about your DH. I say no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:47 PM Flag
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OP: My own family keeps telling me to settle because I'm running out of time, I'm too old, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:51 PM Flag
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That's great, but you're the one who is going to have to wake up and look at him for the next 60 years. You're going to have to listen to his breathing night after night. Will you be thinking "I'm so lucky to have this man in my life" or "God, I wish I could just suffocate him with a pillow, but I saw a Dateline about how people void their bowels when they are suffocated, and then that would just be one more thing I'd have to clean up"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:28 PM Flag
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what are his positives ? what are his negatives ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:54 PM Flag
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How much do you want children? If you are desperate to have your own biological babies, do it. Is he super into you? Love can grow over time. BUT, if you are not that driven to have kids, DON'T SETTLE. Unhappy marriages literally shorten women's lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:56 PM Flag
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OP: I'm thinking of freezing my eggs, breaking it off with him, and continuing the search. As much as my family will scold me for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:58 PM Flag
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I like this idea. Freeze the eggs now . ( this year. dont put it off even though it is expensive). Give yourself 3 more years to find "the one". By 38 if no prospects, have a baby with an egg. and then you can still date to find your soulmate. . Your parents will just have to deal with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:12 PM Flag
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Go ahead and freeze eggs but that is tricky. Low success rate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:19 PM Flag
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Actually, I read that recently. Also l, bad inlaws shorten women's lives too. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:18 PM Flag
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you're really not as old as you think you are. are you getting out there? diversifying your friend group? meeting new people? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:00 PM Flag
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OP: I'm trying as hard as one can possibly try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:00 PM Flag
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I am in a similar situation, though I already have DCs. One of the things I am realizing is that I am not very good at falling in love with nice guys, which is probably my issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:01 PM Flag
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OP: Same here! I was just telling my friend about my most recent date with this guy--and I described it as, "I could sense how much he admired me and hung on my ever word, and it revolted me." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:02 PM Flag
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Then she is ruined. She will always go for the wrong guy. She has a bad father. The end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:20 PM Flag
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NO. Not the end. If this is your situation, you should very closely examine your upbringing and how it has affected you. Knowledge is power. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 09:20 PM Flag
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OP: When I start contemplating a life with someone I have zero attraction to, I just keep thinking, "Well, if I'm going to marry someone I don't even like, it may as well be this or that OTHER guy from my past who is equally uninteresting to me but makes 10x as much." I mean, if you're going into a marriage with zero love, you start trying to optimize other on-paper stuff. It's so depressing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:04 PM Flag
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Forget love, but do you LIKE him? Like talking to him, getting his opinion, spending time with him? Whatever annoys you about him now will annoy you more after marriage, so think this part of it through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:06 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:15 PM Flag
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+2. I wasn't madly in love but really liked DH and the person he was/is: values, sense of humor, work ethic. We are coming on ten years and our love and bond grows stronger every year. I had been madly in love, and at a lateish age so not silly 18-year old thing, I was early 30s. He dumped me and I was broken-hearted but he would have been the WORST person to be married to. Feel a friendly fondness for him now, but absolutely no love. Funny how it dissiapates. Married DH at 37. But I'm also like poster below and don't really believe in soulmates, at least not for me. DH and I are very happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:21 PM Flag
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Yes. But I don't think OP likes him like this or she would have mentioned what a great guy he was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:37 PM Flag
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Met my DH at 36 and married him at 39. But had struggles getting pregnant. Preg at 43. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:10 PM Flag
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All this said, I just think that there are certain types of people who don't have a soulmate. They just aren't wired to have that feeling. I'm just too closed off to ever let someone in like that. And if you are that type of person, you have to decide if you want to work on yourself, "settle" for less than that, or just be alone. All three are reasonable options. Likewise, some people confuse the perfect person for them with being a perfect person. So they cast off great people for reasons that don't really matter (how he dresses, the kind of movies or music he likes, etc.) Only you can know for yourself, but you have to be realistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:18 PM Flag
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Don't settle. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone that I didn't love or was even attracted to. My DH was the love of my life on my wedding day 27 years ago and still is... even if he annoys the crap out of me sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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If he's a good man, that's what's important. How he will treat you and dcs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:44 PM Flag
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No, you'll wind up divorced in no time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:20 PM Flag
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I'm interested in this topic. I was madly in love before marrying, but unsure at time of wedding, then for years felt like I had settled. Now I am back to thinking I married someone close to perfect for me and I'm very happy. A close girlfriend definitely settled. She never had strong feelings for her DH but didn't want to wait anymore to have children and thought he was smart, nice, wouldn't cheat on her, etc., but she did find him a little dull. Her happiness has been on a gradual decline from that high ever since the wedding. I don't think there's going to be an upswing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:39 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel like I overpaid for my 2 BR apartment in Manhattan a couple of years ago. Oh well. Now with Trump's tax plan, I feel like the value of it will go down even further. Ugh. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:37 PM Flag
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I overpaid for a home in 2003, I still can't get what I paid, westchester, its rented out. I hear ya. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:38 PM Flag
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How is that even possible? What town? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:58 PM Flag
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North Salem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:01 PM Flag
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My the house next door, the exact same as mine was short asked for 140 less than I paid in 2014, that didn't help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:03 PM Flag
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Westchester's real estate values will go down even more than Manhattan, goodbye unlimited property tax deduction, sob sob [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:58 PM Flag
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uh, goodbye unlimited NYC income tax, only on residents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:36 PM Flag
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I was about to bid on an apartment in NYC and decided to wait. Between the tax bill, all the new construction and China is limiting the flow of funds out of the country, I think NYC real estate is in for a pullback. IMHO of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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A lot of the mkt has already been pulling back and not just the luxury hiend stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:34 PM Flag
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Me too OP. Sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Bought gingerbread kits for 8yo and 6yo nieces and my 5yo dd for tomorrow. Sil wont let us do it at her house. I mean seriously??? 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:35 PM Flag
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Outside? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:36 PM Flag
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She said no. Not even outside. She also has never allowed her kids to have play doh or markers in the house so I shouldn’t be surprised. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:37 PM Flag
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Ok. You shouldn't be surprised. That's on you. You should have had a clue she is an joys about that type of mess in her house - and/or against all the candy, icing, sugar. If you planned this for someone else's home, you truly should have asked before purchasing. Signed mom who does GB houses every year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:58 PM Flag
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Anxious (funny auto correct) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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Gingerbread houses are time consuming and messy. Not the best project for a cooking/eating intensive holiday like tgiving [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:37 PM Flag
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We did it with all the kids at our aunts house last year. It was easy, minimal mess and they loved it. I bought the exact same kit this year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:39 PM Flag
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Sounds like you bought them to piss her off to be honest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:39 PM Flag
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Dd saw them at the store and got so excited do make them with her cousins again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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she probably has no room for you to do it when she is trying to make dinner as well - is her place big enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:38 PM Flag
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That is my thought [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:39 PM Flag
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She has a 5000 sq ft house with a front yard, back yard and 1000sq ft guest house [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:40 PM Flag
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Put down a tarp in basement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:56 PM Flag
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sorry, I am having 8 boys over that are 6 years old to do this in mid Dec in my apartment. its not messy if kids wash when done [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:39 PM Flag
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Thanksgiving day is a completely different animal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:40 PM Flag
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you could be right, depends how big place and how many people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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Described the house above, there will be 6 adults and 4 kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:42 PM Flag
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Weird. That's a perfect activity for Thanksgiving, as long as you're not in SIL's kitchen. Perhaps the children can appeal to your SIL? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:40 PM Flag
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She’s DHs sister. He’s mad at me for letting dd mention it on the phone and said I should’ve just set it up and enjoyed it with the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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OMG, if you just set up frosting and sprinkles at my house during my Thanksgiving dinner, I would kick you out so fast your head would spin. I'm not uptight at all, but that is just rude. Although I suspect you are looking for a fight, and are just building evidence for why SIL is horrible anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:24 PM Flag
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Agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:29 PM Flag
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How is this a “perfect “ activity for thanksgiving? I am one of the most relaxed people you could meet about messes and i would not be happy about this activity on this day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:43 PM Flag
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Why? A few crumbs? If it’s the same lots we have the frosting is already in s piping bag. No more messy than eating desert. What could possibly make you unhappy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:45 PM Flag
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*kits not lots [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:46 PM Flag
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It requires a table which is already set or space in the kitched which is cery busy woth meal prep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:47 PM Flag
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I'm not a control freak at all. In fact, I've hosted multiple gingerbread house parties. But I can tell you from experience that kids get frosting on their hands and then touch every piece of furniture on the way to the bathroom to wash it off. You SIL doesn't like that kind of thing in her house. Respect that. Make it with your own child ahead of time or save it until after Thanksgiving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:50 PM Flag
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I am the mom who posted below that I do a gingerbread party every year. To be fair, it does leave a mess. I put down a plastic tablecloth from the Dollar Store that can be thrown away, but still there is icing, sprinkles & candy everywhere - floors, cupboards, chairs. Not an impossible clean up, but it is messier than eating dessert. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:14 PM Flag
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Yes. The trick is to cover every surface with those tablecloths! Table, of course, but also floor and furniture. Sprinkles will get everywhere and kids will touch everything with sticky hands. So much fun, but I wouldn't want to do it on Thanksgiving with so much else going on. Especially if I was uptight about that kind of thing to begin with. (Pro tip: clean up is so much easier if you have a dog.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:21 PM Flag
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this, I don't need a mess hanging around the house and a project drawn out - invite the kids over to your house next weekend to do the project [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:51 PM Flag
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This or give them for the cousins to do at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:00 PM Flag
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control freak alert! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:40 PM Flag
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Entertaining is stressful for some people and throwing in a messy time consuming project may just put her over the edge, just respect her wishes and if you feel so strongly about it, invite her kids to your house to put the kits together at a later date. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:54 PM Flag
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Exactly. But ops sil already doesnt allow markers or playdough. Op knew this and is just stirring the pot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:56 PM Flag
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Exactly this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:02 PM Flag
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Okay, your nieces miss out. Get the 5 year old to invite a couple of friends over and have a little party in December. Have done this every year with my DD for years - even last year, at 13, she had a few friends over and they made 'designer' houses (might do it again this year too). Perfect activity for kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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NP Have the niece over to your house on Friday or next weekend and do it at your house. Go all out on candies from the dollar store and extra frosting and make it AMAZING. That is what you have to do when someone is bah humbug. Go big or do go home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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Not for this situation, but for others who might be thinking about decorating: upside down ice cream cones make perfect trees, and are so much more manageable for little kids to decorate. Plus, they can make a whole forest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:23 PM Flag
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You're a guest. Behave yourself. Have some manners. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:58 PM Flag
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To be fair, it's really messy. She's probably done it before and she knows the hell royal icing can wrought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:40 PM Flag
[ - ] At what age do looks fade? When do women stop looking hot? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:34 PM Flag
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i'm 35 and i recently had db #2 and feel like they have plummeted (with dc #1 at age 30 i think i bounced back nicely) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:36 PM Flag
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Depends enormously on the effort put in. My face started changing at 33 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:36 PM Flag
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I feel like mid 40s is when looks take a nosedive. Tho some are luckier than other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:37 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:42 PM Flag
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+1 I definitely looked older but not too bad until about 43. Now 47 and not happy with the way things have gone. Oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:56 PM Flag
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Yup me too -- was just thinking this recently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:42 PM Flag
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I'd say late 30's. Then the weird botox stuff starts and women look even weirder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:41 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:22 PM Flag
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I've seen beautiful women in their 50s and 60s. But beautiful is not the same as hot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:44 PM Flag
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True. Beautiful women can stay beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:23 PM Flag
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Yep, hot means fertile and no matter what women in their 50s or 60s do, they won't look like they are in their 20s or 30s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:27 PM Flag
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i stayed good until about 43. slight forehead wrinkles around 45, more and more gray, skin tone more sallow ...Now 47. now its really changing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:56 PM Flag
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Depends on whether you have kids. Pregnancy can destroy you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:56 PM Flag
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This. Sleep deprivation and lack of time for self-maintenance just adds to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:28 PM Flag
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My 30s/having kids was not kind to me. I look at pics from a decade ago and I look like I was 16... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 03:58 PM Flag
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Same here, my looks took nosedive in my mid 30s and my weight did the opposite, LOL. In my 40s I started to take better care of myself, lost the weight and got some botox/fillers and I am way more attractive ironically than a decade ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:29 PM Flag
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I am 37 and doing ok but have noticed some changes for sure. I had DCs very young so didn’t have to deal with pregnancy weight etc in my 30s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:03 PM Flag
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start to fade-22 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:06 PM Flag
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I see a huge change in early 50's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:08 PM Flag
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I became invisible at 45 -- could just tell when I walked into a room that nobody cared. Went from f**kable to well-preserved over night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:22 PM Flag
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+1 I had a baby at 42 and it zapped whatever renaining youth I had. I went from pretty and fertile to barren. No more fruit on this tree. With the right conditions I can still manage a bloom now and then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 04:31 PM Flag
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True, but who looks at old men either. Very few older men who look good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:24 PM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:45 PM Flag
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OR: True, but 45 wouldn't even register as older for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 06:51 PM Flag
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Ugh. Stop. Men get old too. Look at all the ugly old farts in the news harassing young women. These women don't want to be with these assholes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:22 PM Flag
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Depends on the woman of course but in general, late 30s/early 40s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:23 PM Flag
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When they stop taking care of their looks, it can happen in early 20s too. A 50 year old in great shape with the right amount of fillers and/or mid face lift, who had taken great care of her skin and hair looks better IMHO than an overweight 20-something girl with greasy mousy hair and bad skin. And it can be the same dumpy 20-something girl nobody noticed who turns into a beautiful, fit and well maintained 40-something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:34 PM Flag
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so true! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:45 PM Flag
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There's more than one drop-off point. Most women peak in late 20s/early 30s. First big drop is around 35. Second major drop late 40s/early 50s. But genetics plays a huge part. Some women are just okay looking when younger but they never have that big drop-off so they end up looking a lot better when they're older (by comparison), especially if they don't gain weight. Some women are ranked high when young but fall apart early. The woman who keeps her natural beauty is pretty rare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 05:43 PM Flag
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When they run out of money. At certain age beauty comes from your wallet even if you used to be a professional model. This age usually is around late 30 early 40s for most women with a few exceptions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.17, 09:37 PM Flag
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