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[ - ] My sister is on her 3rd wedding she wants 100 PEOPLE. i AM LIKE JUST GO AWAY and get married. UGH 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:45 AM Flag
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I’m the only person I know whose never had a wedding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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same. waste [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:55 AM Flag
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Elaborate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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As to waste [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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Why a waste? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 07:16 AM Flag
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who's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:34 AM Flag
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That explains it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 12:17 PM Flag
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tell her to elope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:05 AM Flag
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+1 Eloping is the best. DH and I went to the registry office with two friends for witnesses. We were married and at the pub for drinks in under half an hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 09:28 AM Flag
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It's ok. Chill. It's just a party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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Yes, these people get a bit insufferable. You have your big occasion now just pick a few close friends and be done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:31 AM Flag
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totally understandable you are annoyed by this. it does require stuff from you and seems ridiculous. at the same time - when you get justifiably irritated by it - try to think of it like - life can be awfully crappy and clearly she has been divorced twice so has had pain and sadness and maybe she is just up for some joy even though it seems silly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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I had 100 at my 2nd. I didn't want that, but it was DH's first and it was important to him. I really tried to make it fun for our guests instead of having an all-about-me feel. Shorter ceremony, fun party without a lot of the traditional reception trappings. No showers, bridesmaids, etc. And I got the word out for no gifts. But I still feel bad about having it. Everyone was gracious and supportive, though, so I'm very lucky and grateful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:20 AM Flag
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Yeah, you should have stopped that. The style of a wedding, whether first or second, is based on the bride’s status, not the groom’s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:17 PM Flag
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Any wedding after 1st should be at city hall. Fine to have a fun shindig after. Is cause for celebration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 07:18 AM Flag
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Or at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 12:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have an aromatherapy oil diffuser? Do you like it, does it wor? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:40 AM Flag
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I have 2, I like them. They work in the sense that they make the room smell like the oil I put in them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:43 AM Flag
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Do you feel like it helps you relax? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:45 AM Flag
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Not really. I just like having a nice scent and prefer a diffuser to candles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:46 AM Flag
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Np no and some are allergic or sensitive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:59 AM Flag
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yes, I use lavender in the kids' rooms. Makes it smell nice and I like to think it helps the transition to bed time but don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:45 AM Flag
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I just ordered one last night and am awaiting delivery! I have oil burners and several Lampe Bergers, but those are too intense. This seems like it will be a nice compromise. The only problem is that it needs to be located near an electrical outlet, so that limits placement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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I've read it isn't healthy for your lungs so no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:31 AM Flag
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People won’t be doing this shit in a few years. They will know better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:04 AM Flag
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There is some interesting research on this. There’s no evidence lavender actually causes relaxation organically. There IS evidence we follow the power of persuasion and could have easily been told it causes stimulation and adrenaline surges, and we’d believe that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:51 AM Flag
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Don’t do this. Terrible for your lungs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:03 AM Flag
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Why haven’t you researched the dangers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have an aromatherapy oil diffuser? Do you like it, does it wor? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:40 AM Flag
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Had; worked as far as a room fragrance? Sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:49 AM Flag
[ - ] here's a quandary. I make about twice what my husband does and I work like a crazy person. My parents are proud, my husband is grateful for the money. But the workload and sacrifice (not seeing the kids enough, never ever doing anything outside of work and kids bc that would be one thing too many) are making me depressed. I have voiced this but parents and husband are kind of like - that's life, what is your solution? I feel like you guys will say - it's up to you to make a change or not and that's true but - has anyone had a similar scenario? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:37 AM Flag
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Well you decide- can you stand the lower money? Then get a new job with more flexibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:38 AM Flag
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i for me don't care per se. but for the kids i care a lot. I feel like I would be asking them to make sacrifices although it would be nicer for them to have a happier mom I guess really. and maybe they wont care about the sacrifices - though they would have to leave their school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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Too many people sacrifice their happiness for private school. Stop that. Private school is NOT magic and doesn’t even guarantes top colleges anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:11 AM Flag
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They sacrifice time with their mom now. It’s hard to be fully there even when you are there if you’re worn out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:40 AM Flag
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Could you give us a ballpark annual salary for you and your husband and tell us what he does for a living? Hard to advise without knowing these details. What are your savings like? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:40 AM Flag
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sure - we live in nyc. he makes $160, I make $320. we both work in media/ content. About 300k in savings - we do own our apt but have a mortgage (obviously) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:44 AM Flag
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np. Wow, that's really big money by my standards of living. I would put up with a lot for that tbh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:06 AM Flag
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i know! for many years we both made $80-$100. it's big money for me too. but I'm so miserable i find myself snapping at the kids and drinking a LOT every night and today i found myself trying to remember the last time i felt joy and i literally can't remember. but i guess it is like i said it's just you do what you have to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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The nightly drinking is making all of this worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:07 AM Flag
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Stop drinking for one. Seriously it just makes people depressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:12 AM Flag
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NP who said that was big money: Well, if you are truly feeling joyless, then you need to start thinking of an eventual exit strategy. I actually disagree with the other posters regarding the urgent need to nip nightly drinking in the bud--unless you do it to excess. It's the fact that you don't feel joy that concerns me.... Still though, just to put things in perspective for you: I am miserable in my job and it pays a pittance compared to what you make. I would kill, KILL, to have that kind of income, even if I remained miserable. If you have the strength, I would stick out it for a set period of time that seems tolerable (maybe 1-4 years), and then quit and never look back. Remind yourself that this is temporary. You are building a nest egg so that you will never have to do something like this again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:33 AM Flag
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You don't "have to" work that hard just to have money. Choose having a life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:37 AM Flag
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drinking can cause that lack of joy/depression feeling. Try quitting for 3 weeks and I guarantee you'll feel happier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:00 PM Flag
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Your parents' advice should be a "point taken" and not relevant to your decision making. You need to decide what really matters to you. Life is short. Kids grow up fast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:43 AM Flag
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I'd love to hear some other stories - what have others done in situations like this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:53 AM Flag
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Outsource eg Uber nannies seamless maid etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:12 AM Flag
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Gender equality [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:44 AM Flag
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Have you always been the breadwinner or is the salary disparity a recent thing? Listen, if you hate your job, then this has to be temporary or you will continue to sink into depression. I would keep going and save as much money as you possibly can right now. After two more years, if you still feel sad and unfulfilled, then you should absolutely look for a less stressful position. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:50 AM Flag
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me earning so much more is recent. Me just having such a high salary is recent. I landed in this situation where i got thrown a ton of responsibility and they appreciate that and upped my salary accordingly. Honestly they aren't bad people at all. It's just that the product is genuinely flawed and therefore I manage a team that is not happy and that creates endless work and stress. I could explain more but it would be so boring and you get the general idea. bottom line; few people would pay me that much in my industry at my level except to handle a slight nightmare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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do you think though, honestly, that i will miss these years with the kids being little and be really sorry? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:31 AM Flag
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I'd continue unless you really hate it. It can help kids much more than spending 30 extra mins with them per day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:13 AM Flag
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I know that folks speak about all the fluff that you can provide to your kids but having a stress free financial future also matters a lot (not saying obviously that love and spending SOME quality time with them and being there for them is not the first priority). But don't under-estimate financial stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:14 AM Flag
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no i agree. they're right. i need to suck it up. I wish i just didn't feel how i feel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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I agree with this poster, except to make it worth it, I would take the kids out of private school and bank all the money in savings. You could use a lot more and that will allow you to step down later if you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:01 PM Flag
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I can totally relate to this... I'm miserable at my job and I'm always stressed out, but I feel trapped because I'm divorced and need to make as much $ as possible since I have 2 little kids. I made twice as much as ex-DH when we were married (I make around 375-400k). I'm in medicine, and my job SUCKS; I feel like there's no way out. I could cut back drastically (my salary would go down to around 225k if I did this) but I'd have to move out of my house and my kids would have a lot less. I'm trying to suck it up but my therapist says I need to make a change in 2019 for my own sanity. Last week I was so stressed that I was sobbing against the wall at the airport on my way to a work conference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:40 AM Flag
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If it affects your mental health, I would make a change too. If it's just unpleasant, I would suck it up. In your case (doctor), it looks like it has repercussions on your mental health, in the case of OP, it sounds more like it's not ideal but can be put up with for a while [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:46 AM Flag
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doctor poster - what kind of doctor are you? what kind of changes would it make to your kids? I am posting this bc this was the first day i felt like it is genuinely super affecting my mental health (significant depression, anger, crying). so the poster below is right. Also - you are an amazing mama!!!! I know you are doing this for your kids bc that is how much you love them. but it's true that you deserve happiness too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:50 AM Flag
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np: I would listen to your therapist. And I fully understand the points other people are making about the importance of financial security (this is a huge part of the reason that I work) but honestly, you don't need to make "as much money as possible" if you could be making $225K with less effort and you are randomly sobbing in airports. That is not normal or okay. I mean this nicely, not in a mean way - I think successful people get stuck in this mental rut where they think each dollar is essential and work themselves into a knot about how disastrous it would be to make less money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:06 AM Flag
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It doesn't sound like a situation that will last years and years. I'd milk the income while you've got it. Next job negotiate better terms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:05 PM Flag
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I have a very high stress/high pay job, make most of HHI, and just got a raise, I grew up with constant money worries so I would never quit my job and put DC in that same situation. My answer: a good therapist, and exercise as much as possible. Also, consider eliminating the wine, alcohol is a depressant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 11:51 PM Flag
[ - ] SoulCycle moms - who are you loving in manhattan right now? I usually go to Laurie Cole, Rique and Trammell but would like to try some other instructors. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:35 AM Flag
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Peloton all they way. Quit SC years ago. Love Robin. Love Jennifer. Love Cody. Love Ally. There is just so much to love with Peloton. On my time and my schedule. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:53 AM Flag
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Have you ever done flywheel? I love flywheel and would never consider soul cycle b/c i feel its too cheerleadery as opposed to athletic. can you compare peloton to that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:31 AM Flag
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Tell me about peloton, I keep hearing about it. From what I understand it's an exercise bike and you watch the workout videos with the instructor on an iPad type of thing? Is there a separate subscription fee for the video content? Does it only work with that bike? For example if you have another brand of stationary bike, can you still do their workout? Sorry if I sound clueless, I have a few facebook friends that love it and rave about it, I am looking for something new for indoor cardio. So sick of the treadmill at my gym. I took a spin class once years ago and the instructor was annoying. But I do like cycling outdoors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 06:26 AM Flag
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I like your faves too. I love Rachel w, Halle and Janet and like Emma, Isaac [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:37 AM Flag
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I like the OGs too. I go to Laurie C and Janet and used to go to Stacey before she moved. Try Mireya, she is fantastic. Also Christina [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm watching the new Jennifer Aniston movie, "Dumplin'" on Netflix. It's bad. Does it get better? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:34 AM Flag
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I thought it was cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:20 AM Flag
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I was so bored that I turned it off after about 20 min. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 12:48 PM Flag
[ - ] How long would you continue to do a job that you hate? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:33 AM Flag
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i'm glad someone out here is having the same thoughts (though sad you are unhappy). i just posted above. in my case - 1.5 years. But I'm now moving into depression and I think for me that may be the end point. what is your situation and why do you have to stay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:39 AM Flag
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When I was younger I was willing to put up with nonsense. Now, no so much. I posted earlier about taking a pay cut to work for a company that boasts about having a great culture. They weren't lying, the value me, and I'm so much happier now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:45 AM Flag
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which company have you moved to and if you can't say the name, any details about the work culture? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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It's a small startup. It's a bit "bro-y" (we have an xbox, a keg, but "the boys" bought me a wine fridge). It's a little bit like being in a frat house, but nerdier, no toxic rapey culture, and I meet often enough with the CEOs and they actually seem like they give a shit and are generally invested in my happiness. We pride ourselves on just being honest, if there's a fuck up, it's OK, just take accountability and fix it. No one is really "afraid" of anyone and I feel like we all just like actually being there. The keg helps, ha. As does the kombucha. It's such a stereotype, but it's actually pleasant. I could work from home every day, but I choose to go into the office more often than not because I genuinely like everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:00 AM Flag
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Salary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:07 AM Flag
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Started with them at 60. Now at 72. Hopefully more next year. Nothing big in UB world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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omg that sounds amazing - you need someone in content! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:09 AM Flag
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meant to be a question mark [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:10 AM Flag
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It's pretty great :) If you're willing to take a risk look into some smaller startups. I found this one on planted. I worked in fashion before, the difference is like night and day. At my old job my boss denied my vacation time after she approved it because she found out I was going to Europe with a man I "just met" (my now DH). New job tells me to take time off, take longer lunch breaks, and "go chill in the hammock". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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i am looking on it now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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I don't know if this is completely comparable since it pertains to studies rather than work, but for me the answer is 6 years. That is how long it took me to get a PhD. Those were some of the darkest years of my life, and I was truly miserable--I was so incredibly happy when it was over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:13 AM Flag
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Not long. There is way too much work in the world to waste my time on something I hate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 09:30 AM Flag
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Until I got hired for a new one, which can take a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:41 PM Flag
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For me, so far 25+ years. I make more than I ever dreamed of, not willing to risk my family's financial security. It means more to me than my own peace of mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 11:54 PM Flag
[ - ] * I am a machine * *I am a machine* 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:29 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone here actually had success with online dating? Any tips? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:22 AM Flag
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I met my dh online. I was going to give up and said "one more date" and met him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:47 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:02 AM Flag
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I met my DH online too. Married 15+ years, have 2 kids. So it worked for me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:47 AM Flag
[ - ] GO ARMY! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:13 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have some tips for dealing with depression? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:11 AM Flag
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What have you tried so far? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:13 AM Flag
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PILLS, FRESH AIR, SHOWER, TAKE A WALK [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:14 AM Flag
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Exercise. You may not feel like going but you’ll feel better after. Try to keep active. Meditation. I use an app and am reading about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:17 AM Flag
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Careful the previous poster who replied with that with this person who keeps top posting got flames [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:51 AM Flag
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Flamed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:51 AM Flag
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+1 for me and no sugar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:39 AM Flag
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Me three [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 12:02 PM Flag
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Have you brushed your teeth and hair and changed your clothes today? If not do that now. Long term, hard cardio, plenty of sleep, limit caffeine and alcohol and carbs. Therapist to help you figure out if you need a referral to a psychiatrist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:17 AM Flag
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I've been in a funk recently and I did several things: Found a therapist (which is definitely helping); scheduled an appointment with a naturopath which helped me determine some things about my hormone levels and I'm working with her on a diet/nutrition plan (I've lost weight); daily 4-5 mile walk (fresh air helps); time with friends; journaling--I bought a pocket calendar and jot down little notes about what's going on and/or how I feel. It's helping me to detect patterns. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 46 and I think perimenopause has had an impact (the blood work done by the naturopath determined this is very likely the case due to changing hormones). GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:24 AM Flag
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How do you find time for all of this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:26 AM Flag
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I work part time. The therapist is once per week and the naturopath is infrequent now that I'm on a plan. I only met with her 2-3 times to get things going. The walk takes me 75 minutes and I usually do it in the morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:31 AM Flag
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Hi — I’m in perimenopause too and dealing w same as are many of my friends. Trying to take extra good care of myself bc if I don’t I plummet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:41 AM Flag
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Medication is a band-aid. Depression is a symptom that your life is not in balance. You need to take an hinest look at yourself and address why. Therapy is a total waste if you are going to sit there and just talk but not make the real (tough) change you know you need to make. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:45 AM Flag
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Smart [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:52 AM Flag
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There can be physiological causes for depression.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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Go to church. Seriously, it helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:51 AM Flag
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It can, but it can be hard to find the right church. We moved two years ago, I have dragged my kids to 10 churches, and we have given up and just go back to our church in our old city a few times a year. . 2 cities ago we weren’t able to find a church either. But when I found the right fit it really did help with my isolation, depression etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:57 AM Flag
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Not so helpful if you're a nonbeliever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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Seconding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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I'm the definite proof that exercise helps a lot - I work at a college and I've been biking to work several times a week. Three years in a row, I found myself in my doctor's office in June, feeling stressed out, and that something wasn't right, I was feeling on the brink of collapsing. During these visits, there were several times when I felt that I would burst into tears. Finally put two and two together and realized that I had stopped biking a few weeks before because the spring semester had ended. Realized also why for the same reason my summers often where when I was the most unhappy and stressed out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:35 AM Flag
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^^^ Now during the academic year, changed my schedule and only bike Tuesday to Friday, and same thing, I found myself noticing how messed up I was on Mondays and so not productive. Started running during the week-end and feeling much better now. FWIW, my biking commute is quite long : 40 min one way, with a couple of steep hills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:38 AM Flag
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Check out this Guy...DAVID GROGGINS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:51 AM Flag
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np - You know what's funny, I realized this as a teen but as an adult I often forget. I did a winter sport in HS and I would get really moody and hopeless around February and I put two and two together that the daily workouts ended around then - our states and regionals were around Valentine's Day and the spring sports sessions didn't start up until around April. I started working out just at home - dancing around to music, doing pushups etc. It helped. I felt so much better after. As an adult same thing - I run a few times a week in the spring and summer but it is so tough to get motivated now in the freezing cold and dark. I hate the treadmill, and the classes at the gym start at about 5 or 6 PM, I work longer hours than that so I can't attend. This thread is making me want to commit to sucking it up and hitting the gym more this winter. My mind needs it more than my body. I need to work out for my sanity. Also, vitamin D does help somewhat. It keeps me at least functional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 06:39 AM Flag
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Exercise can help. Also, a very good therapist. For some people, meds. For others, all of the above. Whatever gets you through the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 11:57 PM Flag
[ - ] DH just started a new job and firm is having a holiday party next week. I don't know what to wear (have been a SAHM for 4 years so feeling bit out of the loop). Party is very swanky and at a well known NYC museum. Thanks! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:07 AM Flag
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I you want to be basic, wear a shimmering shirt, black slacks, black flats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:10 AM Flag
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This sounds hideous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:23 AM Flag
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NP: Actually this sounds too casual to me. I would go with a cocktail dress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:23 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:50 AM Flag
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The little black dress with shimmery earrings is always safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:11 AM Flag
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This. Plus black stilettos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:12 AM Flag
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Only if she can walk in them. If not then wear a nice black shoe that is comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:18 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:29 AM Flag
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np - Dressy black boots can look good with a little black dress. Easier to walk in a heeled boot or bootie, usually. Also a little warmer for this time of year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:46 AM Flag
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Stilettos? How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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? I'm 40. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:28 AM Flag
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Yes, where the black dress in your closer and maybe fet some new accessories and shoes. It is NY. This is how half the women will show up anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:46 AM Flag
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intermix has some great cocktail dresses on their site at the moment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:18 AM Flag
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Ralph Lauren has a lot of cute dresses on sale right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:32 AM Flag
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Rent the runway, nice cocktail dress [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:34 AM Flag
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+1 always this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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Wow, your life sounds really amazing :) Hope you find a beautiful dress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:38 AM Flag
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At my husband's holiday party most come straight from work. There are also those who wear party dresses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok, the judge on The Great American Baking Show has THE most piercing eyes I have seen in forever. Wowza. A handsome man who can cook??? Swoon. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:58 AM Flag
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I didn't know there was a US version. Also in PBS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:59 AM Flag
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ABC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:04 AM Flag
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His name is Paul Hollywood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:04 AM Flag
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Is that the one with Baby Spice? I saw a commercial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:04 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:07 AM Flag
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Yeah, he's a hottie. But he is also the meanie judge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:09 AM Flag
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also a cheater [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Ummm does a black tie wedding mean women MUST wear floor-length dresses/gowns? I don't think so. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:46 AM Flag
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A dress code at work does not mean that you MUST wear what it says, but if you don't you deal with the consequences. Same with black tie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:52 AM Flag
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You don't have to, you can wear a clown suit if you'd like. But if you'd rather dress appropriately, if after 6pm, floor length gown. Before 6pm, I think it's a little more flexible. And absolutely DO NOT wear white. Leave that for the bride. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:01 AM Flag
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There are always plenty of women in fancy cocktail dresses, and men in dark suits instead of tuxes. Plus old ladies who wear two piece pantsuits instead of gowns. Even in Manhattan, and we have been to some fancy weddings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:14 AM Flag
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It is a range and will depend on the event and the host. In my experience though, a black tie event in NY is mwant to make sure no one shows up in a super casual day dress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:48 AM Flag
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Only a handful of people wore floor length to my black tie wedding. No one cared. Everybody looked lovely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:08 AM Flag
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I would wear a fancy cocktail dress TBH. I am 5'2, not doing a floor-length anything, I'd look like I was playing dress up in mommy's clothes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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You’ve never worn a long dress before? There are actresses and celebrities shorter than you and they wear floor length gowns and don’t look like they’re playing dress up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:44 AM Flag
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They totally do in real life unless super thin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:59 AM Flag
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yes, I did once, I was in a December wedding and we had a cranberry colored bridesmaid dress that was actually very pretty. It was very simple and the tailor did a great job, I wore heels and we had long gloves. It did look nice for the pictures. However the tailoring was very extensive & expensive and I felt awkward in that style. I can wear most cocktail dresses off the rack and I feel like they flatter me better. Maybe it is more how I "feel" in long dresses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:30 AM Flag
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actually long dresses are flattering to petite women because they give you a line and don't chop you in two like short dresses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:49 AM Flag
[ - ] My DH's grandmother constantly says about my 31yo single SIL "why shouldn't all the guys flock to her? She's good-looking and she's a LAWYER" - oh dear. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:38 AM Flag
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What's wrong with it? Same thing is said about men - he's good looking and a DOCTOR. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:40 AM Flag
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Ugh, as if those were the redeeming qualities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:42 AM Flag
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Don't be dense. Attractiveness, intelligence and a good provider are very good qualities in a mate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:44 AM Flag
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Well..she's right. What's "oh dear" about that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:43 AM Flag
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So nothing about the person's character or charm? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:46 AM Flag
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It's mating . . . get a clue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:50 AM Flag
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Ahhh. You are being shady and suggesting that the pretty, lawyer in-law is boring or a bad person. Gotcha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:50 AM Flag
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Ily [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:54 AM Flag
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Are you saying that your SIL has a bad character? Why would anyone assume that? She can’t be any less nice than you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:25 AM Flag
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Ha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:54 AM Flag
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This sentiment is as old as the cave people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:43 AM Flag
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Your reaction to her comment says more about you than her comment about your sil. It’s like you’re trying throw shade at grandma and at the same time minimize an attractive educated woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:50 AM Flag
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Who says she's attractive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:41 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:55 AM Flag
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what your DH's grandma doesn't know is that your SIL is a LAW SHREW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:54 AM Flag
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Meh. It's a grandma. I'll probably think all the people are idiots for not dating my adult granddaughters. And they'll probably go on their version of social media and bitch about how their grandma doesn't get that they don't need a man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:54 AM Flag
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Grandmas weren't born grandmas. They were once 15 then 16, then 21 then 35 and so on. So they've been around for a long time. They know about attraction and dating. NP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:15 AM Flag
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Yes, I know all about attraction and dating from my own perspective. But I still wear wife goggles, mother goggles, and one day I'll wear grandma goggles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:26 AM Flag
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Why do you have a problem with this? Her observations seem totally valid! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:13 AM Flag
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OP is being catty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:15 AM Flag
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As a single 31 y/o with bland looks and no career prospects, I think that your DH's grandma is pretty much spot on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:18 AM Flag
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I feel like grandparents often say that even about grandkids who are homely and unsuccessful. "Aw, little Tommy should have women all over him, he's so handsome and smart." Meanwhile little Tommy is 35 and stays up all night playing video games when he's not pushing pallets in the Best Buy warehouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Same initial for all DC. Yes or no? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:32 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:35 AM Flag
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N [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:36 AM Flag
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O [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:36 AM Flag
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Seriously? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:37 AM Flag
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Like the Kardashians? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:37 AM Flag
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I do it. I have all girls. I think it's cute and don't care what UB says. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:41 AM Flag
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the rest of the world agrees with UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:51 AM Flag
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That's fine. I still don't care. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:52 AM Flag
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your poor kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:38 AM Flag
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"But I want to raise with you and watch our younglings hatch/ Fuckin' make the first letters of their first names match"-Blake Mills [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:45 AM Flag
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Why would you want to do this? Just curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:45 AM Flag
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I replied above. I think it's cute. I am big on family traditions, I do Christmas cards, Disney every year, etc. So yes, maybe the same initial thing is another NOKD that I do but at least I am fun. I have all "A" girls. My friend has all "M" girls (Megan, Molly and Mia). My group is not into the Zoeys and Olivers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:51 AM Flag
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What is wrong with Zoey and Oliver? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:31 AM Flag
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I guess it is only okay if you a Zack, Zoey and Zinnia or an Olivia, Oscar and Oliver? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:32 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:41 AM Flag
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My brother, father and I have the same initals, so I am biased. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:48 AM Flag
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^^I just remembered one of the drawbacks to this. Years ago, I was reviewing my credit report and one of my brother's credit cards showed up on my credit report. Luckily he has good credit. ;) We have the same initials and our Social Security numbers are very similar. Just something to be aware of. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:32 AM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:50 AM Flag
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Don’t like at all but to each their own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:01 AM Flag
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+1. You do you, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:03 AM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:31 AM Flag
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Cute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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I wouldn't, personally. It's very cutesy. The people I know who do that are the ones who start talking about pumpkin spice lattes in August and then they are off getting pumpkin patch photos in matching family ugg boots holding a sign that says Live, Love, Laugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I name my twins Yves (boy) and Alexandra (nn. Sasha)? I am three days away from my due date!! Finally! I can't believe my hubby and I still can't agree. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:27 AM Flag
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Yves??? No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:27 AM Flag
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people in america will assume your son's name is eve and be confused for the entirety of his life. If you are ok with that i think go for it but i think it may be challenging for him? maybe i am wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:28 AM Flag
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If you like it, sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:28 AM Flag
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Alexandra, yes. Yves, only if you live infancy or Quebec. Congratulations! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:30 AM Flag
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^in France, not infancy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:30 AM Flag
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I believe this is fake because twins never end up getting delivered that close to a due date. But if I am wrong, congratulations. Honestly, the chances of you having two healthy, neurotypical kids is so good if you really have made it this far. That's really all that matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:57 AM Flag
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Yves is a fine ethnic name but no one will know how to pronounce it, so just know you are giving your child a lifetime of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:03 AM Flag
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Only if you are French and even then I would go with something else. Alexandra is fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:14 AM Flag
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I think people hearing your kids' names won't be able to tell their genders. Sasha is a common nickname for boys, and Yves will sound like Eve. So both names have some confusing parts. I don't think this is a reason to not do it, just don't want you to be surprised later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:34 AM Flag
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Are you European? If not, then skip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 03:33 AM Flag
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I would not do Yves unless you live in a French speaking country, no one will know how to say it and when spoken it sounds like Eve. Are you going specifically for something French, or do you like that it's a short name? Or the general long - E sound of it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 04:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Ex is not consistent with our dc's and our oldest, 15, seems to have written off his father. Ex got mad because he learned 15 yo ds had a game today but he did not know about it. At this point, I feel like I should step out and not try to orchestrate a relationship between the two. However, ex was angry I did not tell him about game. Now that ds is 15, am I really expected to facilitate their interactions? I tried for years when dc's were younger but ex had no interest. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:27 AM Flag
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This sounds all too familiar. I encourage dcs to spend time with their dad (my exH), always tell them that he loves them (even though I find this hard to believe) and facilitate scheduled visits, but that's all I can do. They've both written him off and tell me (one more than the other) that they don't like him. 15yo and 13yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:34 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, at least your ex has scheduled visits. My ex refuses. I definitely understand why ds doesn't bother but incredulous that ex is mad I didn't tell him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:37 AM Flag
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Sounds like there is a good reason this person is your ex. Tell him DC is almost an adult, and that it's up to him to create the relationship with DC that he wants to have, it's not your responsibility to manage this for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.10.18, 12:02 AM Flag
[ - ] I want a classy wedding. I’m thinking all white and black. What do you think? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:24 AM Flag
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I don’t think that’s what makes a wedding classy. But if you like it go for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:28 AM Flag
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Seems pretentious to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 01:52 AM Flag
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Are black and white your signature colors? Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:04 AM Flag
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Klassy ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:06 AM Flag
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black and white feels a bit kardashian/ penguin to me. One thing i did that I loved (aside from many mistakes i made at my wedding) was my bridesmaids all wore gray, but they all wore slightly different shades of gray/ silver (mine wore their own choice of dress, am guessing you wont want that but the graduating shades ended up being kind of cool). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:21 AM Flag
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My cousin did a black and white wedding, guests were included too, and it was gorgeous. Looked like a scene from a movie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:06 AM Flag
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My brothers first wife did this. Like most things there’s 2 ways: great and not so great. Their wedding looked like a funeral. And any colour eg flowers background someone’s tie stood out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:58 AM Flag
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seems kontrived and klassy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 02:49 AM Flag
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You can’t tell the guests what color to wear. You know that, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.09.18, 05:12 PM Flag
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