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[ - ] I'm divorced, 24x7 custody of my three kids. Dating an older man since Sept. My kids are off to camp in July, which is when his grown kids come to stay with him at his beach house. A long or faraway trip is thus not in the cards, but he suggested we take a few days away at some local inns just to "escape together" which we never get to do. Am wondering if I should bring up whether to split costs with him? Early on, I picked up the occasional dinner check, movie tickets, etc. but as time wore on he always refused and just takes the bill. I don't want to presume he will pay for the inns/hotels but he definitely seems to prefer paying and the balance we have struck is that I pay for smaller stuff. Should I just tackle the question head on before the trip(s)? Offer to get meals and he'll cover lodging (even that seems presumptuous). Advice? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:45 PM Flag
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How old is he? How much more does he make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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OP:About seven years older than me. I don't know what his exact finances are, but he is definitely more well off than me. I could, however, very comfortably, split things down the middle with him -- we don't do things that are beyond my financial reach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:58 PM Flag
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I wouldn't consider 7 years older. That's nothing. You made us think he was 20 years older. Not the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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I would just ask him. Be direct. He'll appreciate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:55 PM Flag
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Can you off a weekend at your place? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:59 PM Flag
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^^^he may turn you down, but it is the thought that counts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:00 PM Flag
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I don't have a weekend place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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You have a regular place, right???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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Yes. We both live in the city. But would that be bizarre to offer for him to stay in the city when arranges his summer to be able to max out his time at his beach house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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OFFER [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O Hampton is done and passe. Where in Georgia would a NYer buy a vacation home? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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St. Simons Island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:40 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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Cumberland island [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:40 PM Flag
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How about lake areas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:45 PM Flag
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Mosquito lake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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I have a home near Lake Hartwell. It is beautiful, quiet and so peaceful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:47 PM Flag
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The hamptons are out, so clearly the next option is Georgia? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.26.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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I would go with MV, but if south, look at Amelia Island [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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Please don't recommend MV. It already has enough of the NY quota. It's nice because it is all the NY'ers who didn't want the scene of the Hamptons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:52 PM Flag
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Don't really like Georgia - so I wouldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Jekyll Island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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Sea Island. (Signed, Georgia native) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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someone said this is striver [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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Who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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someone on UB. Is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:48 PM Flag
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how can a whole island destination be "striver" FFS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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The problem is distance. How oftn would u be able to use a place where u have to fly. We can use our house in the Hamptons all year. Just avoid public places on holiday weekends when the obnoxious people descend . Weekdays the beaches are empty. Peaceful town. Even better in the fall and spring. Plus u have all the restaurants and shops u could possilvy want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:10 PM Flag
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DooDoo Island is nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:52 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.26.15, 12:55 AM Flag
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Georgia = hot as hell,Mosquitos, red necks and red tide. Sucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:02 PM Flag
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You more reason to go to Georgia, people like you won't be there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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I'll take genteel southerners over obnoxious Jews every day of week and twice on Sunday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 08:34 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.26.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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Sad that you find racist rednecks genteel. Speaks volumes about you, no wonder you dislike jews as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.26.15, 01:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I am in LA and was at a Dodger game yesterday and one of the players (first name Enrique) goes by the nickname "kee-kee," but spells it "Kike" (with an accent on the e). So this word popped up on the enormous Jumbotron. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:37 PM Flag
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OP: I am agnostic, but of Jewish extraction and was horrified/amused (a little) that no one in the Dodgers organization noticed this and suggested he spell it a little differently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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I had a friend named Kiki [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:39 PM Flag
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OP: Not "Kiki." "Kike" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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just reflects 2 concurrent realities: a) Kike is his bonafide nickname and how it is spelled in Spanish, b) the offended constituency isn't all that large in that geography. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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OP: I agree, and Jews don't make up a huge part of Dodger fans (lol). But it's like the "N" word for Jews. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:47 PM Flag
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Yeah, like vinny del negro changed his name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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OP: It's not his given name, it's a nickname. Many ways to spell it. Just surprised when he signed with the Dodgers (LA, not Indiana or Kentucky... there ARE Jews here!), no one was like "hey, let's do "kiki" instead of "kike.") [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:53 PM Flag
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OP: I'm assuming it's a bunch of Gen Xers working for the Dodgers who do not know that this is a slur. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:53 PM Flag
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Kike should be gassed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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OP: Maybe if you lived in LA there would have been more of an urgency to be sensitive to words like this. Stay in NY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Why did it take the father, in the DC murder, so long to give the thugs the money? He let them torture jis family. 40k is nothing to these people. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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You are really weird [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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+1 If by "weird" you mean "undermedicated". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Or over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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good point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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What do you mean by these people? It is not that easy for anyone to get their hands on $40k between 6:00 pm on a weeknight to noon the next day, esp. Not in person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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NP- true. It can only be done if he could walk into his bank. Even ATM's don't spit out more than a grand a day. But who knew he had 40K in cash for something? these guys must have known this. They didn't go in trying to take the guy to the bank at gunpoint. They must have known a way he would be able to get the 40K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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This, ffs. Even rich people don't keep this kind of cash lying around their house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:59 PM Flag
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some do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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This, the thugs probably thought he had cash in the house. but still, why were they fixated on 40K? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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Let me guess, black? Most people do not have 40K on hand [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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If he had the cash right there, he would have given it to them, dodo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Because money was not what they wanted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Father called his accountant and then it was withdrawn from the bank by someone from his company. The "assistant" who dropped it off at the house has given several stories but the bottom line - WHY kill 4 people for $40K ? Seriously, that's chicken feed. There is so much more to this story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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We don't know how much was originally asked for. Maybe 40K was all that was available in cash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:04 PM Flag
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Believe it or not UB mom, 40K is a great deal of money to a large part of the country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:08 PM Flag
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He knew that once they had the money, they would all get killed. Dragging it out increased the chance of survival. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:38 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some not so great SAT scores your friends dc have gotten in the last few years? 63 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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I have no idea what other people's children have scored on any tests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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Really? I have five close friends and we all share. My dc has friends and they share with each other as well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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muliple anything your DFs tell you by .9 and you're in the ballpark of the truth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Not everyone lies. Besides, we forward emails and send photos with acceptance letters [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Wth - why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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To see who is a winner and who is a loser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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Np: this doesn't sound interesting at all. Do you share rejections as well or disappear for a bit each time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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As I said below - that isn't me. It's a troll. Yes. We share it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. About lots of aspects of parenting and the lives of our children. I do t get this secret mentality. Why would it be wrong for moms to share and support each other? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:32 PM Flag
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At this point, it's not your place to share. It's your child's business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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NP- THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:58 PM Flag
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At what point? I'm describing elementary they high school. And my child shares with anyone - but rarely talks to my adult female friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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Actually one of us has sat score. Her child got 2280! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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I did not write that. In all honesty, why not? These tests and application processes are stressful - we go thru it together, helping, guiding and supporting. Some are a year ahead. It seems perfectly normal to me. When SHS letters go out, the good news starts flying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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Lame [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:48 PM Flag
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It's nobody's business but your kid's. If I were your kid, I'd be pissed my mother was spewing my personal business all over the place. Have some respect [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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Thank you for your concern. My child is fine with it. I think parents care more than children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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NP I disagree with this. I too have a group of friends who have been around forever and have helped during various stages of childhood. I think it's rare in NYC. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. Every child struggles with something at some point. Other adults can often help. It's the parents who pretend their dc are perfect in every way and try to hide the "normal" struggles that tend to keep everything secret. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 08:46 PM Flag
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That's idiotic. I would never share with a bunch of random mommies about sat scores. Particularly since it's because they want to feel better about themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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Random? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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That's idiotic. I would never share with a bunch of random mommies about sat scores. Particularly since it's because they want to feel better about themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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My dc got a 2380. I did not tell anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:48 PM Flag
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Well done! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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Where is your dc at school? SUNY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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Why be this person? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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If you are white (don't know if OR is), that SAT score is not enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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Yes it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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Wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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lololol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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I know someone who got 1500 and another person who got 1700. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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How did that play out for them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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That was years ago. Not so bad. They were ok students, just really bad test takers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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There are many good colleges that are test optional, including Bowdoin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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What's Bowdoin? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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What is considered a good score these days? Signed Mom of very young DCs. I scored 1400 back in the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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How old are you? Assuming yours were on 1600 scale. Now they are 2400; but soon returning to 1600. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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40 ish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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np Me, too. We really had it easy back then. I was a National Merit Finalist and then scored 1440 on my SAT, and I had scholarship offers from six universities. Today I wouldn't even be noticed with those scores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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yes, 1600 scale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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Geez - who shares their kids SAT scores? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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1800 SAT, attends a NESCAC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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What is that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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a group of liberal arts colleges in the Northeast: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_Small_College_Athletic_Conference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:51 PM Flag
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Athlete. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:52 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:53 PM Flag
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Happy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:07 PM Flag
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Very. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:19 PM Flag
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I'm guessing ConCollege or Bates, not Amherst or Bowdoin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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Why? What difference does it make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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My son's girlfriend got a 1350. Out of 2400 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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Where did she end up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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The Marine Corps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:08 PM Flag
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Seriously?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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She better be cute :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:06 PM Flag
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Why do you want to know? So you can feel better about yourself? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:16 PM Flag
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No. Trying to see my child's peers :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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I'm relatively young. My first time taking a practice test, I only scored in the 1400s out of 2400. After prepping, my official sat result was in the 2100s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:40 PM Flag
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Initially, I had multiple tests in the 1400 range. It wasn't just a one time occurrence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:44 PM Flag
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Why would I know my their scores? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.26.15, 12:50 AM Flag
[ - ] How do we feel about the name Wesley for our 4th boy? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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I love it. Was on my list for my 2nd and I regret not using it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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^ votes here will lean towards no... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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Would you mind sharing what you went with? I'm on the fence. I also love Harry/Harrison. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Benjamin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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Your kid lucked out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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Well fingers crossed #3 is a girl and doesn't get this unfortunate name... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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like it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Don't care for it, but that doesn't matter if you do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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Prefer Wyatt, Wade or Wake. If we're doing the W theme [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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Or William [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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Like it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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At least you are using it for a boy and not a girl. Wesslee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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Hate it. Awful kid by this name got booted out of DC's school. I think it was the third time it happened to him. His parents didn't get a shit about him, and he probably knew. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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^give - not get [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Works only if your family is Methodist. Look it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:48 PM Flag
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Goodness me! Irish Only Mom has turned into Methodist Only Mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:58 PM Flag
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First OR- we are Jewish so that actually did sway my opinion a little but realize it was silly in hindsight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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Ewwww [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Parents of Hill schoolers: does your DC have a phone? If so, what age? What kind? TIA. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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Most have jitterbugs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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Even the HSers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Yes, iPhones are over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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Because it is impossible to hold the moral high ground while you have an iPhone in your pocket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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She's kidding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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4th grader has a dumb phone and 6th grader has my old iPhone 5S [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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Thanks - that's what we're thinking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 08:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone done a day trip to Martha's Vineyard? Best ways to get there and best things to do? TIA 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Crazy. Way too far for a day trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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too far for a day trip imo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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Unless you are taking a helicopter or something, it isn't terribly convenient for a day trip from NYC, imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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A day thrip from NYC or a day trip from the rest of your vacation on cape cod? Did a day trip why I was a teen with my family from cape cod. We biked, we went to the beach, we had ice cream. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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We took a ferry from one of the towns - maybe dennisport? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Np. Woods hole [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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Thanks. For the record- it was fun and beautiful, but very low key. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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If you are already staying on the Cape, like in Falmouth, a day trip is possible - via ferry. If you are staying mid-Cape, a day tip is possible via Cape Air. Otherwise, stay overnight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:48 PM Flag
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I prefer Oak Bluffs and Edgartown. You should stay the night [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 10:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Hermes 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:22 PM Flag
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herpes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Nn Hermie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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Trailer trash who thinks the name sounds rich or sister of D'Nishqua, Domiqua, Dominiqua and La- Ah pronounced Ladasha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Ladasha! LMAO! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:50 PM Flag
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awful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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Greek? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:48 PM Flag
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Stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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Yuck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh is ocd about messes and can't control his need to keep things neat and tidy, even in front of kids (7,5,10mos) while I just refuse to let his issues rule our lives. Yesterday we kinda got into it in front of them when he saw dd (5) hands were messy w her smoothie, but she wasn't yet finished with it so I told him I'd clean her up after she finished. I'm not gonna sit next to her and clean her after every goddamn sip. He says I need to respect his opinions/needs too. What say you UB? Was I ok to call him out on his bullshit in front of them? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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I am surprised you have made it this long. Just see how clean things are when he is caring for 3 kids by himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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Op exactly. Then all of a sudden his ocd disappears. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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I couldn't live like that. All the power to you if you can. I can keep clean to my less than perfect standards but I couldn't have responsibility for meeting his standards and subject to his constant critiques. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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then he can clean her up if he is so upset by it...you both have to respect each others way of doing things [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Op. He recently had knee surgery and is stuck in bed. Or on couch, which is where he was when this was all going down... He normally would've done it himself all the while bitching at me, "we need to keep this house clean, Yafe yada yada [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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This is a good torture situation. You should parade dcs with spills and sticky fingers all around him but just beyond his reach. And spill a few things on the floor and walk away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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Op. Hahah soooo tempted!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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I woudl give him some slack then, sucks to be immobile. However the bitching at you, woudl have to stop...respect goes both ways [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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Op. Well he always says if I just did what he asked, he wouldn't bitch at me. It's that simple ;) I just refuse to give in to his craziness! He's def ocd (his dad and sister have it too, both officially diagnosed) and he refuses to do anything about it and instead projects it all onto us [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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LOL, classic abuser language. "If you just did what I say, all would be OK" Diagnosis = asshole [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:07 PM Flag
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If he wants it that way, he gets to manage it. Will drive your kids crazy though. People with OCD are hell to live with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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What hell. If he wants it done, he can do it himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Nope, the person with the higher standards does the work to meet the standards. They don not control the other person into being them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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Why couldn't he clean her hands? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Parents of teens, do your teens hang out with you on holiday weekends for BBQs and such, or are they typically making their own plans? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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My kids 16 and 15 hang around the house. They are tired from school (usually a lot of tests before this weekend) and just want to hang around the house and relax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:21 PM Flag
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13 still hangs. I remember being a teen and my parents would for e me to attend the family stuff and hang out for what seemed like forever before allowing me to leave and be with boyfriend/friend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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sometimes they do/did, sometimes not - if we have something going on I encouraged them to invite a few friends but if they have something else they want to do, I don't usually have a problem with it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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They make their own plans unless there is a major family gathering, and then they will stop over for a few obligatory hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm a native New Yorker and have only been to the Hamptons once, as a kid. Is this unusual? When we want to go on vacation, we go to Canada or Oregon (where DH and my father have family). What am I missing out on with the whole "going to the Hamptons" culture? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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connections [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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Lots of houses with really tall privet hedge so you can't see anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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Networking, learning which stocks to buy/short from IB pals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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Jews [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:20 PM Flag
[ - ] what gender is the name Llewys? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:05 PM Flag
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Transgender, leans male when Mercury is in retrograde [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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how is it pronounced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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op: not sure, just saw it written. my guess is lewis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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Why did it take the father in the DC murder, so long to give them the money? 40k was nothing to them. He let his family be tortured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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oops sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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i forgive you, llewys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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That isn't a name. Are you sure it wasn't Llewyn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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op: definitely was with an s. since when has not being a name stopped anyone from giving it as a name, lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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Double /L/ names are usually Welsh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 05:50 PM Flag
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Lewis. I assume a guy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] For the lady who wanted articles on corruption because she thinks corruption doesn't exist in America (this is a while ago) here you go 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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The US is ranked somewhere around 15 in the list of least corrupt countries. Not that impressive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:53 PM Flag
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15th out of 200 countries is not bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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Hm, us is not on that list. Least corrupt is Denmark https://www.transparency.org/cpi2014/results [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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Corporations are the USA and are also the most corrupt. Everyone else copies the US [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:06 PM Flag
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And what ranking do you expect to see in Forbes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:07 PM Flag
[ - ] How many months worth of mortgage payments and/living expenses so you have in liquid savings? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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I have no mortgage, but about 20 months in bank account + money market to cover living expense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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6 months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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I year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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2-3 years, depending on if I curtailed spending at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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1 month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:23 PM Flag
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about 5 months at current spending, but could reduce to stretch it to 7 or 8 months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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What do you really mean by liquid? Non-mortgage/asset based including stock or pure cash? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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1 month [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:39 PM Flag
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One month [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:18 PM Flag
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5 years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] So annoyed! Went to a 7yo girls birthday party and she was mocking my 5yo boy's ( he was the youngest) math abilities. I know it's petty to get involved in kids stuff but I really feel bad for my DS. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:49 PM Flag
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Sorry, but strange that 5 YO was invited to go to 7 YO Bday party [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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NP: I see this all the time. Not strange. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:51 PM Flag
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OP: she is my neighbor and this kids mom is mostly running late so I end up babysitting her atleast once a week. To add to my woes, the mom never calls when she is home so this girl is with us till I drop her back.. Guess I am just frustrated with being taken for granted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:52 PM Flag
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1) Don't take your 5yo boy to a 7yo girl's birthday party. 2) Say no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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Op: yes that's a lesson for future [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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Not at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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This is what happens when people get obsessed with G&T, test scores, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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??? What does this have to do with test scores. Honestly the girl is average intelligence herself but she sure is smarter than my 5 yo in math!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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My 7yo does this on an almost daily basis to my 5yo. I hate it and have tried so many things to make him stop but he doesn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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Give him a dose of his own medicine. Give him some math problems that are 2-3 years ahead of his ability, and when he can't do them, do them in front of him and make fun of him. Then when he starts to lose it, explain that that's how he makes other people feel, and it isn't right, and that there are a lot of people in the world who are smarter and better educated than he is, and if he doesn't learn to be kind to others, no one will be kind to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:58 PM Flag
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My brother is two years younger than I am and I did that until I went away to college. No idea why. How obnoxious and annoying. My pay back is my oldest does it to his sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:03 PM Flag
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I think it's different between siblings. But between friends it's an absolute NO. Isn't this bullying too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:04 PM Flag
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Keep the mama bear in the cage. It bothers you more than dc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:56 PM Flag
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Opp: I hear you. I wouldn't say it in real life hence venting here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:00 PM Flag
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Although her attitude if awful, I bet if she couples it with little lessons or proving how great she is that your DS learns a whole lot of math from her because he wants to be her math peer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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He is learning this from you. Was his next statement "my mom is thinner than your mom"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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You can't read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:07 PM Flag
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What kind of "math abilities" does a 5 yo have? Are you Asian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Just ignore it. All kids trash talk one another. Help your kids learn how to shrug it off. If they see you get upset they'll be upset. Just say--that's not a nice way to talk to someone, and change the subject. If you dwell on it, it gives bad behaviour power. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 06:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Have we already discussed this http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/05/can-fieldston-un-teach-racism.html ? What was the consensus? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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A lot of parents are against it for a number of reasons. The administration is going ahead with it. Let's hope the parents are wrong and it turns out to be a great class and a positive experience for the kids. Bottom line, the jury is out on this one and a lot of people are waiting for the verdict. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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Cheers for trying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 04:42 PM Flag
[ - ] How did you rank schools for GT if you live in Dis 3? We did A, 166, N 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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A, N, TAG, 166. happy for any. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.25.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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