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[ - ] Landlord moms: How accepting are you of subletting? Have you had reason to refuse a tenant wishingnto sublet? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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Do you want to be relieved of responsibility if you sublet the unit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:49 PM Flag
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I'm the tenant. I accept full responsibility for my lease. I've found a suitable sublessor for the last month of my lease. Just wandering if landlords have refused a sublet and if so on what 'reasonable' grounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Feeling sad, depressed and lonely about a few things that happened today. On days this happens, sometimes I think I just need to sit and wallow in it to get over it, other times I think I need to make myself busy. Normally wallowing gets me over it faster, but wastes so much time when I could be getting jobs done. What approach do you take? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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I actually think indulging the feelings is better. It kind of depends. I think if you're someone who really loves wallowing and leaning into negative things, then no. But if you're the type of person who's always trying to snap out of stuff and move on...then maybe just feeling the sadness for 10 minutes would be quicker. Process it rather than trying to pretend it's not there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Depends on the day. Sometimes a good dose of melancholy feels good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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I usually sit around and wallow, though I know better. Occasionally, I manage to drag myself out and about and can later admit that it helped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Feel the fear and talk it through. I grew up in a family where "processing" was/is the norm. As in, "I know we planned to go out to dinner after seeing the movie Lincoln, but I most go home first and process my thoughts on what I just saw and truthfully would not be good company in a restaurant right now". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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How did your family encourage processing? I want to help my kids process more, but I don't know where to begin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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Most any situation in life can be processed from the easy to the difficult. "Let's process that" is a great way to start and soon it will become normal behavior. We have two children and the oldest was born with the processing gene so we got lucky with him. The younger one figured it out at a young age (by osmosis??) and now it comes naturally. My parents always focused on themselves and my sister and I and processing situations in house allowed us to be wiser and more content when dealing with the outside world. It's taking a breath and focusing or channeling on one topic and to push away all other interruptions during the processing session. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:09 PM Flag
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I have found that after wallowing, I add self-loathing to the sadness, depression and loneliness. So I'm trying hard not to do it. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:41 PM Flag
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(and yet here I am on UB, sigh…..) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone getting the new iPhone? Trying to decide if optical image stabilization is worth it in the 6 plus. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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Preordered on Friday...downloading the new iOS 8 now onto my 5 as delivery of my new 6 plus is a could of weeks out. That said, I'm really excited about the bigger screen. I use my phone all day long as I'm running here, there and everywhere so I can't imagine the bigger screen being an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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I preordered the 6 on Friday. Ordered a case on Amazon, which I already have. Having the case in hand (for a phone that's plenty big, imo), I'm glad I didn't go for 6 plus as it would be way too big to tuck in a pocket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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What kind of pocket? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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Coat? Jeans? A normal pocket. The 6 is quite a bit longer than the 5s. I have a 4s now, so this new phone will be a lot bigger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:25 PM Flag
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Ok, I almost always put mine in my bag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else have a dramatic tween / teen that says in the middle of a fight, "No one loves me, I am going to kill myself." How do you handle this? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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"OK. I've let you say that a few times, but I'm done. I don't think at your age you understand that you don't just throw words like that around. If you say anything again like that to me, I'm calling the guidance counselor at school and you can see how seriously they take you and how much fun you think it is. Because either you're joking, which is bad enough, but if you're not, you'll get the help you need whether you like it or not." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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I like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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double like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Good one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:28 PM Flag
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Below suggestion is better- less threatening about guidance counselor as punishment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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I think they're both the same thing delivered with different parenting styles. If you're one kind of parent you couldn't get away with using the other delivery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:59 PM Flag
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Yeah, what? What if she needs one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:48 PM Flag
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I was in a bad relationship with a guy who used to threaten this. My therapist told me to tell him the next time he said that to me that I would call 911 and ask for police backup because I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not and it was unfair of him to keep asking me to make that call. He really never threatened suicide again after that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:02 PM Flag
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Very different situation from a young girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:03 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:57 PM Flag
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No one loves me either. I'm devastated. I'm leaving tomorrow for Mars! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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Tell her you love her unconditionally but her being a drama queen is quite annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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"It sounds like you feel lonely and unloved. I want you to know that you are loved very much. The words 'to kill myself' are taken very seriously and not to be used for fun. If you truly feel this way, I will make an appointment for you to speak to somebody about it. If you are saying to exaggerate your feelings, please stop and use other words to describe your feelings." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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This is better than the one above, and I quite liked the one above!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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I got my tween into therapy at 10 yo. Hadn't threatened to off herself, but was being super mouthy. Didn't help at all. I resented paying $320 for 45 minutes for her to bitch about me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:27 PM Flag
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It takes time. I'll bitch about you for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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Awesome Response. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:39 PM Flag
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word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:57 PM Flag
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I'd say your teen is pretty self-aware. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:45 PM Flag
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I would talk to a family counselor. I really don't think you should ignore this. Even if she doesn't mean it, she might make a half-hearted attempt to get your attention. Really you should never ignore a suicide threat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:48 PM Flag
[ - ] I am 99% sure that someone stole an item of mine and then wrote her name on it later. Say something or let it go? Item costs about $50 to keep things in perspective 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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What is the item? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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A piece of sporting equipment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Is it a very common type of item? From where do you she suspect she lifted it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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No, it isn't common. That is why I am pretty sure it is mine. It is from a shared storage area. We all have are own space but all access. My space is right next to hers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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she's got balls. what is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Saddle pad from a tack room. It is a very specific brand and shape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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But why didn't YOU Sharpie it with your name?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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I forgot and never problem before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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np: Unfortunately I think you've learned that this isn't a secure storage area. Can you keep your things on you or get a lock? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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Not really. Best I can probably do is label. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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maybe just say. i like your saddle pad. but prob, someone that ballsy won't give a shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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move on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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Buy an new one and mention to "that someone" that you saw the item and just had to have one, then never bring it up again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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I would mention that you already had one and it seemed to go missing so you had to buy a new one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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NP: no, buy a new one and put your name on it, then mention to this person to be careful with hers because you just had to replace yours since someone stole one from you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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ita. If she did it, she should feel sheepish. If she didn't, well, she's been warned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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This! But I would say - be careful, some asshole stole mine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:26 PM Flag
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Buy a new one and tell her that it's so weird that the old one disappeared--but probably for the best since it may have had bedbugs (or poison ivy, or something else that's going to make her look panicked if she was the one who took it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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ha! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:31 PM Flag
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I would totally do this. Is it your yoga mat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:04 PM Flag
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I'd say, I lost an item just like this. Are you sure this is yours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:36 PM Flag
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way too reasonable for UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:31 PM Flag
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if you're really, absolutely sure it's yours, you can just take it back and black it out with a sharpie and write your name on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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This. Use alcohol to remove sharpie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:54 PM Flag
[ - ] wwyd? your wealthy mother, who has mostly lived off inheritance money, asks you for a substantial sum of money to help renovate her country house, which she owns, on the theory that you will inherit it one day. you are busy raising and educating children and don't have money to spare. if you refuse, she will be really really angry (she has a personality disorder and an anger management problem). you do use the house for approximately 2 weeks a summer, but you pay rent for that time. if you gave money, you would have no say over architect, design, timing, house rules, etc. also no legal ownership. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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"i wish i could but can't mom." or give her like $500. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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No fucking way. I was raised by a mom like this (never worked, and was a single mom). I paid the taxes on the country house a few times (when she was threatening to sell it) and pay the electric bill even though I use it for a weekend maybe once a year or two. Renovations are for my mother's account; she's got plenty of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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yeah, sounds similar. our moms are entitled [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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would you do it if you had the money? IOW, do you like the house and will you use it once you inherit it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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I might do it, if I had the money, in the interest of family peace and harmony. but I think the request is annoying and thoughtless [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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(1) "we are really not in a place financially right now to do this. Things aren't how they seem." or (2) there has to be a secured note with interest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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That's ridiculous. Even if you had the money, that's not appropriate unless you want to buy it from her now. And if you don't have the money now, how would you maintain it when you inherit it anyway? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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I would probably sell it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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Would she give you an ownership share? Would you want it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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no, just a promise of future inheritance. since I'm always on the verge of cutting her out of my life, I'm not banking on it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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Then I think it would be crazy to chip in the cash, unfortunately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:19 PM Flag
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Definitely don't bank on it. BTDT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:53 PM Flag
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Have her sign it over with life rights and then renovate to her liking. Blame dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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Tell her your lawyer advised against it as poor tax planning. You can do a note with interest at a low rate if she whould perfer. Or you can tell her to go jump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:33 PM Flag
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Tell her to use the rent that you paid to renovate it. That's ridiculous that you would've had to pay rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:33 PM Flag
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Thanks, I think so too, esp. because she inherited the house from her father and never had to pay rent during his lifetime. In other words, he let her use it for free, then once she inherited it she turned around and started to charge me rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:51 PM Flag
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Money fucks people up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:48 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:54 PM Flag
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Right? She pays rent to her MOM??? Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:54 PM Flag
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Tell her you can't afford it. It's not your job to keep up her lifestyle. She is not destitute. Worry about your own family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:00 PM Flag
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Wow this sounds just like my friends mom. Her mom is SUCH an asshole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 11:01 PM Flag
[ - ] What can I do to make DH feel more appreciated? He told me that he thinks he is my last priority. This is only partly true as I am my last priority. First comes the kids, dad with health challenges, work, dh, then me. I am supportive of dh in that I am primary breadwinner while he launches a business. He works from home so does a lot with the kids and household stuff which is great. I don't want him to feel unappreciated, but I'm exhausted and not sure what I can do. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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Have you tried telling him this? Neither of you sound like you're being unreasonable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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+1 Talking about this is the first step to any resolution... you (hopefully) still love each other enough to listen and appreciate (form the other perspective) how each of you feels... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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How often do you do a date night? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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in the summer we started doing it once a week and it was great. now with school back and fall routines, we haven't done it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 12:55 AM Flag
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Do you honest appreciate his efforts to launch a business or do you resent him not bringing in a steady paycheck? I would, that's why I'm asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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op: he used to work in the nonprofit arena so his earning potential has never been high which i obviously never cared about since i married for love (lol!). I am a high earner who loves my work so no resentment other than wondering how long it will take for his biz to be profitable and if its not then what. i would be fine with him as a sahd, but i don't think he wants that, but regardless, we need a plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 12:58 AM Flag
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I think this is common. One thing that helps us a lot is when I make couple time happen - my mom watches the kids so we can go away for a weekend, or we take a trip as a family to a place with childcare, or even go out to dinner. I tend not to even think about it, but he really craves one-on-one time. And sometimes you can make a point of telling the kids "don't interrupt, your dad was talking," "you're going to bed, Dad and I need to spend time together," etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Put the technology away and spend at least half an hour together, go for a walk together, say thank you as you're getting into bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
[ - ] I would like contemporary Christian music quite a bit if they didn't have to tell me it's Christian music at all. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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There's a really good Christian rapper named Bizzle. He is so good. the beats are good and his rap isn't too preachy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Is this a joke? Bizzle fo' shizzle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:39 PM Flag
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Ugh, a friend and I were just talking about how much we hate this music. It's like really bad adult contemporary with a few guitars thrown in to make it "rock-ish" Hate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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That's why satellite radio has a couple of hundred stations. I hate rap but if others like it, whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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It's an issue if that's what is played in your church or any church you're interested in attending. It's not just music played on the radio. It's played and sung in churches, you know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Yeah but I'm old and I think that's why I like it. I like pop music. I was Abba's dream fan as a kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:27 PM Flag
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That's the problem. It's not good pop music. I LOVE pop music. I LOVE rock music. This is bad pop music and bad rock music. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:16 PM Flag
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Older contemporary Christian was better as there was a range of styles. Now it's all praise and worship music, which sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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+1 The stuff today can't compare to bands and singers who were originally Christian contemporary who moved to mainstream - U2, Evanescence, Switchfoot, Petra, Stryper. It's all bland pablum for evangelicals now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:41 PM Flag
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Hell, even Amy Grant was more modern and had better music than these folks now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:39 PM Flag
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OP I don't know. I was just thinking about this today because I took a "power down" for about 45 minutes today and put on the contemporary christian music channel on cable. It was not bad music. I mean I don't know - maybe my taste sucks - but it sounded like a lot of pretty good stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:05 PM Flag
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If I could only tune out the lyrics [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:56 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:08 PM Flag
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^Unless they were playing old stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:09 PM Flag
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My bil has started listening to Christian rock. He's not an evangelical or anything. His kids tease him mercilessly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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I play guitar and you'd be amazed how many people online who play guitar only do it for their church band or their worship team or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:49 PM Flag
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And do it badly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:08 PM Flag
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The following is probably one of the most popular and most sung (in churches) CC song of all time, along with "How Great Is Our God". If you like this song, then you might like the new CC music. If not? Too bad. It all sounds like this. "Mighty To Save" by Hillsong: http://youtu.be/-08YZF87OBQ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:05 PM Flag
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BTW, the New York Times just did a front-page article about the business of Hillsong, which just opened a church in LA. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/10/us/hillsong-megachurch-with-a-beat-lures-a-young-flock.html [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:13 PM Flag
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24.4 million YouTube views for that? Oh, my. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Three good things happened to me today, and two "meh" things happened. So why do I feel like shit, like the bad things are these giant anchors weighing down any sense of accomplishment that the three other things might provide? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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I'm exactly the same way. 9 out of 10 people could think my work is great but it's the one that finds fault that I dwell on. No advise - just know that there are others who think the same way. Head up, move on - tomorrow will be a new day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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I have two dcs. One only remembers the good things, one only remembers the bad. I think that is just how people are wired. But I also believe that if you are aware of your own propensity to think like that, it helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:43 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you like in your fruit salad? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Berries, melon, maybe a bit of pineapple. I don't like papaya or mango at all and don't like banana or apples in fruit salad (they brown even sprinkled with lemon). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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Berries, pineapple, stone fruits, mango (not necessarily all together, but those are the types of fruits I like to include). No melon, banana, apple, etc. Citrus is okay depending on what else is in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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berries, pineapple, apple, nectarines, bananas (added at last minute!), sometimes plums or pluots, mango, kiwi, pears..no melons. If taking to potluck, I skip bananas, and add small can of mandarin orange sections with the juice to help keep apples, etc. from turning brown and I add frozen berries of some type (blueberries or raspberries usually) to help the salad stay cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 11:11 PM Flag
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Yummy yummy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 11:37 PM Flag
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Melon, pineapple, plums, berries, grapes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 02:05 AM Flag
[ - ] What's your employer match on your 401k? Do you also get a pension benefit? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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Pension? Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa. Match? 50% of the first 4%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Employer gives the equivalent of 10% of my salary to my 401k. No match. No pension benefit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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That is a match [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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This is a very high quality 401k. More employers should do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:51 PM Flag
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Our miserly company just started in its 18th year of existence. $2500 max. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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match up to 6%. Defined pension at retirement (one lump sum). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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Pension -- are you kidding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:31 PM Flag
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New York life has a pension for employees hired before the late 90s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:07 PM Flag
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Have my old job they put in eight percent of my annual salary whether I contributed to it or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:35 PM Flag
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For first 9 yrs, I put in 3% they put in 8% then 10% and now (11 yrs) they put in 10% and I don't have to put in anything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:54 PM Flag
[ - ] dd is 12 and walks to school with another kid. We text the kid's parents when dd will leave, text the parents just before she leaves. The dad got mad at me today because he expects my dd to cross two streets, go all the way to his building, ring the buzzer and wait for this other kid. I pointed out that we are contacting them TWICE before dd leaves. THey have time to get this kid outside and be ready. I don't really care about him and my kid is fine going to school by herself but this guy was FURIOUS with me this morning because dd just left for school because this kid didn't show up. Rather than talk to me, he goes full-on ballistic. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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ignore annoying others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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Can't your dd text their dc and they organise themselves? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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Wait, just want to be sure I'm clear...so your daughter walks to a pre-set place to meet this girl and she's supposed to be there? She's not supposed to go to the girl's house to pick her up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Why can't a 12 year old cross 2 streets? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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The Dad sounds like a complete a-hole. Why should your child go out of their way to pick up this kid and wait for them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Tell him arrangement is off, you dont' want to be responsible and you dont' want dd hanging around some building waiting, if their dd is outside on the right corner then off they go, if not they get their own dd to school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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LOL, memory flash. A friend and I used to walk to the school bus stop together, and then we had to stop for a third girl, who was on the way. We would get to the front of her house, she would look out the window and signal us to wait. And there we waited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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I had this too. Third girl was always late. Wish we'd had the balls to leave her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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We occasionally would, after we had been standing for a lengthy period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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your kids 12, you have no problem with her walking to school alone so there is your answer. His kid is not your problem. tell your DD to go to school on her own from now on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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This guy is an idiot. He should be mad at his kid for not getting outside in time. I would stop dealing with the father entirely. Contact the mother and say 'hey, sounds like this isn't working out so well anymore. We're happy to have the kids still walk together if we can be clear about when to be outside, but I'm not comfortable with DD having to just hang out on a street corner indefinitely.' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't see what's so wrong about being drunk at four? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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I mean, I do this all the time. It's not noon or nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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Dad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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I'm a drunk and four? Really? That means you had to start drinking prior to four to get drunk. I am all about sipping some wine at four but to be drunk by four on a Wed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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What? It's not like I'm drunk at work.......................... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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How did I know this was going to end up being about SAHMs v WOHMs .... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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it;'s not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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But I am assuming you have some kids in the house...or worse need to go pick up said kids. Are you going to stop drinking or keep boozing the night away. And if one of your kids slips and crack his head open, are you in the position to deal with it. As I said...drunk myself but I keep for post bedtime hour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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boop beep boop [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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And who has told you that its a problem? Let's start there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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this placeg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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Okay, well at least it wasn't a cop or your kid's teacher or something. If you were on vacation in Hawaii and had just sipped too many drinks with umbrellas I'd say no problem. If it was your birthday and your friends had taken you out for a champagne lunch, sure. But just another Tuesday?? hmm (and btw, I like to sip wine at night once all else is done, wonder if i sip too much. But don't get drunk, and don't start at 4...) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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It's Wednesday, not Tuesday haha. And I thought OP was the drunk one... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:55 PM Flag
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Kind of young, isn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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There you are again! You're really striking the ball well today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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Thanks. I got a lot of rest last night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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+2 points [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 01:30 AM Flag
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Is there ever a wrong time to be drunk? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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My boss has a very different view than you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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I'm drunk at four every Sunday. On Saturdays I start at four (I'm not a savage, for christ sake) so I'm not drunk until about 4:45. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Ridiculous feeling poor with HHI at $250K. NYC, we have such a love/hate relationship but I can't quit you. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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Just stop drinking the coolaid of needing private preschools, expensive nannies, whole foods etc. Live like you would if you weren't living here and enjoy the nice things NYC has to offer that are not overpriced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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if she weren't living here, she wouldn't be living in a shoebox. Frugality is great but at the end of the day, NYC is just a really expensive place to have any quality of life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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Space comes at a price. You pay to heat it, clean it, furnish it etc. it's a balance. Having 2 cars in the burbs + gas + insurance will add 1k to your monthly expenses. My oldest kid is 12 so in 4 years he would need a car, my 2 youngest would need a babysitter to drive them to activities or I have to quit working and our HHI will be 1/2 of what it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:42 PM Flag
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That's right. You should SAHM the first 4-5 years, since all pre-schools are private. Hope you get a pre-K spot! Then hire a cheap nanny for the afternoon pick-up, preferably someone with a criminal record and limited skills. Also, your family of 4 should squeeze comfortably in a 1 bedroom apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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My nanny is $650 for 2 kids. She cooks and cleans. She has an advanced degree in her home country. My 3 yo just started free pre-k. We live in a 2 br. Childcare costs + nursery school costs + food budget that UBers post is at least 2K above ours. Yes housing is expensive. I was alway frugal thus was able to save enough to buy our apartment 10 years ago [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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Do you pay on the books? It costs $$$ to comply with the law. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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Those who pay off the books pay $850 for nanny who doesn't do any housework. 90% pay off the books. We used daycare before #2 arrived. I am comparing myself to the 90% not to the 10% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:32 PM Flag
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Well, being a tax cheat IS frugal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 11:34 PM Flag
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So a slave driver and a criminal. You're parents must be so proud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 12:48 AM Flag
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I know. $250k and public seem tight when pay $5000 per month for an apt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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This! It's the housing costs. The price of private schools, nannies and Whole Foods is more-or-less the same everywhere. But it's the housing that kills you here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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++++++++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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There. are. four. and. a. half. other. boros. in. nyc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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And. They. Are. All. Relatively. Expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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Not $5000/month expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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HUSH! You don't want them driving up our rents... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Tuition is way higher here than it is in most major cities. A good 20k more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:24 PM Flag
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Day tuition at schools like Groton is about $44,000, and Groton is in rural MA. Signed, Someone who Lives Near Groton, and Doesn't Earn a NYC Paycheck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:21 PM Flag
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That's less than 1/4 of gross on housing. Most Americans spend closer to 1/3 and most households living in NYC spend closer to 1/2. Cry me a river. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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Last week, I argued otherwise. First, while New York real estate is expensive, the city’s low-cost public transportation system makes it more affordable than it’s given credit for. (Most households get away without driving any cars, much less two.) Meanwhile, according to the Census Bureau, New York’s income distribution is surprisingly similar to that of the United States writ large. For instance, in the U.S., about 22 percent of households earn at least $100,000 in a year. Across the five boroughs, it’s 25 percent; nationwide, just 4.6 percent of households earn at least $200,000, while in NYC, 6.9 percent hit that mark. New Yorkers enjoy somewhat larger paychecks than other Americans. But Wall Street’s riches aside, they’re not living in another financial universe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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In other words, we’re talking about a problem that has to do with social class as much as New York’s income curve. Creative types and other educated professionals in New York who don’t rake in million-dollar bonuses want to live in the same nice neighborhoods as their wealthier friends, send their kids to similar schools, and eat at the same awesome restaurants they see reviewed in New York magazine. That world revolves around a small section of the city, and living in it takes more of their income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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That said, choosing an especially expensive neighborhood in the city you call home is mostly a consumption decision. You might think that living within walking distance of a pretty park or a yoga studio is essential to your mental health, but in the end those are amenities, and enjoying them, along with all the other benefits of living in New York City, is a luxury. Children do complicate the equation because of school districts. But in the end, it’s possible to raise a happy, healthy family in the lesser-known corners of Brooklyn or in a slightly suburban-seeming block of Queens. If that seems like an untenable choice to you, it says more about your sense of class than the constraints of a $100,000 or $200,000 income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:16 PM Flag
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So a mc person can afford to live in NYC as long as they don't get greedy and expect any of the amenities or benefits? Sounds like a great deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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np: no, as long as they don't expect all of the amenities and benefits that the wealthy get to enjoy. i have many friends living in affordable areas of queens on incomes less than $200K, some on less than $140K. their kids go to public schools, they use public transportation, but they aren't not enjoying their life - they go on vacations but not the Ritz Carlton, they go out to eat but not at Per Se, they live near parks and yoga studios just different ones - and they have a slightly longer commute to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:03 PM Flag
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Look, if you're going to live in a tiny apartment, send your kid to a crappy school, have a long trip into the city, not even be within walking distance of a patch of grass, and "give up all the other benefits of living in New York City" why the fuck wouldn't you move to the suburbs or a different city entirely? What would you be getting out of this deal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:26 PM Flag
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So move, just quit bitching and moaning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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there are parks all over nyc - inc in the bronx! and the benefits of living in nyc are not only the ones those on UB see - for some it's being near family and friends or world class museums or the type of people who live here or the ethnic diversity. you don't have to live in manhattan to send your kids to decent schools. heck, i have a friend homeschooling her kids because nyc is such a great place to do it and it freed her up to live in whatever school district she wanted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:31 PM Flag
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Because I like to live in a walkable city, have a supermarket a block or two away, great public transportation, lots of ethnic restaurants etc. I can't get this in any other US city but I don't have to live in TriBeCa or Park Slope to have all this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it a terrible idea to stop contributing to/scale back contributions to our 401ks for 6-8 months to save extra money? We just went through major home renovations ($100k+) and I plan to take some unpaid time off after DB2 is born. I'm the breadwinner so we will dip into savings for every month I take unpaid. We're generally in good shape financially -- max out 401k each year, until recently had a generous amount in savings, and will rebound relatively easily once I return to work, but the timing of the renovations was unfortunate and I'd prefer to have a bigger buffer in savings. We can most likely play catchup next year and max out by year's end. WWYD? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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What is with the double posts? You are at least asking a serious question but people...let's not just post over and over again.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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I posted at 6pm last time and only got like 2-3 responses so I am thinking a lot of the working posters were commuting and missed it. Was hoping for a few more options because I am still on the fence about what to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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Time for you to log off. Find something else to do. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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OR: Point taken! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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I think it's ok to but the 401K on hold for 6-8 monthes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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will you at least get any employer match? I would make sure to get that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Dating a "beta" guy. He is a very good person and treats me well. It still feels weird. BTDT advice? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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How's his paycheck and is this income sustainable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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This is not really something that I care a great deal about. I am divorced, always been WOHM, and am not looking for someone to take care of me financially. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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I hear you, but as a sometimes sole sometimes primary breadwinner, it can get old quick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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He doesn't need to be rich but I think you should care a great deal about whether or not he can pull his own weight or if you'll be supporting him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Here come the gold digging harpies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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it depends. does he do well in his career? i care about ambition, not so much being the biggest whatever in the room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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He does do well in his career, yes. He has a very strong work ethic, though somewhat introverted. He is ambitious insofar as there are some interesting problems he is trying to solve, but no ambitious in the sense that he is relentlessly striving for some particular title. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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that would be fine with me. what do you like about alpha males? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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I think it is the dynamic, engaged, intellectual semi-competitive (not in a bad way) part that I like. Some external confidence and presence, without being a domineering ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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that doesn't sound alpha or beta. maybe he's just not the right person for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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You need to move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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I once dated a very beta guy. I never thought it was something I cared about it until I dated him. I felt bad, he was so, so nice. He also had inherited a lot of real estate (worth upwards of $30M), but I just could not deal with him. Coincidentally, he also had a micropenis, which was the real deal breaker. Sad... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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What was it specifically that bothered you about his personality? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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I don't know if it was his personality so much as him in general. I remember thinking he was just so small and weak. Like I was walking somewhere with him, and these guys on the street were yelling, and I remember thinking like "If they were to come at us, he would NOT be able to protect us..." It was such a turn off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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so it was just that he was a small person? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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He wasn't THAT physically small though. It was his demeanor I guess, more than his physical size or his personality. It's hard to explain. I was on the fence about him, thinking when we had sex I would be more attracted to him. We had been dating about 3 months when he finally took his pants off in front of me, and it killed it for me. I don't believe sex would have physically even been possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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he took his pants off and you didn't even attempt sex? you are cold, woman. lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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I wanted to! You have no idea how much I wanted things to work with him, but I realized it was so unfair to him if I hung on to him while I "tried" to have feelings for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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FAKE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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It's actually not fake at all, though it often felt that way when I was dating him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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His personality is fine, it just doesn't sound like it's right for you. You don't seem attracted to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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If he's great and aggressive in bed, that helps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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Go for beta!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I usually don't take anything for a cold but this sore throat is killing me. Would Advil or Tylenol help or is there something even better? Just want the pain to ease off a bit. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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Are you sure it's not coxsackie? I'd have it checked out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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Jesus Christ. Way to scare someone for no apparent reason. Go away bitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:06 PM Flag
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np- coxsackie is a common and relatively harmless virus, typically causes hand foot mouth. there is no reason the idea of having it should scare the OP. that being said, the post was silly because there is no reason to go to a doctor and get checked out if you think you have coxsackie. they aren't going to do a viral throat swab for it and there is no treatment for it, so save your co-pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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+1 even the school nurse won't tell you to see a Dr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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OR: you sound insane. Coxsackie is not the end of the world and it seems to be going around. But it is very uncomfortable, especially for adults. I've had it. It's true there's no treatment but I'd want to know if I had it because I'd take extra precaution to stay away from others since it's very contagious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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Whose cox did you sackie? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:41 PM Flag
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i find tylenol the most effective for sore throat pain. that said, if it feels like you're swallowing glass, get a strep test. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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Cepacol and tylenol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:09 PM Flag
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Is it just a sore throat with no congestion? Might want to consider a strep test [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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only those. it's just a type of pain so no special med for "sore throad" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Gargle with salt water, followed by whiskey with honey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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Hot water with 1-3 spoons of honey, a dash of lemon juice and a nip of whiskey (or vinegar). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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Advil works great for sore throats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 10:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone every try "Once a month cooking", where you buys tons of stuff, cook in one day, and freeze it all? I'm curious how it really works out. Sounds like you can save money by buying in bulk, but do you get sick of it? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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you'd have to be super organized [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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I do rachel ray week in a day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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I do a mini version. Book frozen assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Whose freezer is that big? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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once a month is a little ridiculous. Try for cooking twice a week, like Wednesdays and Sundays. Make 2 entrees and 2 or 3 sides each time, or make a stew/chili to sub for one of those sides. Cook one entree on stove, one in oven (and sides or another entree on a grill/George Foreman Grill if you have one). Portion some out for the following day or two and freeze the rest in individual Gladware containers for the next few days. Eat out or get takeout once or twice a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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I used to do this. I'd make four dishes, and four serves of each. Like bolognaise sauce, a couple of curries and a stroganoff or casserole. Then I'd only have to boil rice or pasta or veggies to go with meal. Doesn't take that much room in freezer, I think my containers were 1.5 liters.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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I know someone who bakes all her wheat bread for the week on Sundays. She makes about 5 loaves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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The only thing I've done that comes close is to make like two major trays of lasagna (like 12x18) and cut them into 12ths and freeze. I do that maybe 1x or 2x a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:35 PM Flag
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My mom does something like this. She's retired and when she has time on her hands she goes shopping and buys all the ingredients for things like a big vat of homemade pasta sauce and she'll make it and freeze containers. THen all sorts of foods that you make in a tray - casseroles, lasagnas - as well as homemade soups. So it's more than once a month, but she can whip up dinner for 10 from what she's saved in her freezer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Our apt that we pay 75% of our income on is a total dump. Roaches, broken light fixtures, broken windows, peeling tile, reoccurring mold, moldy tub, ceiling leaks, goes on and on. I really want to move but dh refuses. Building does patch jobs but problems always comes back. Kids hate it, I hate it but dh won't budge. I feel like I work just to live in this dump. What should I do? 54 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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75%??? how much do you make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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HHI 100K apt. is $2200/month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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where do you want to move to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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I guess there is nowhere to go unless we move upstate or out of NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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you can find something in NYC - maybe not manhattan but you can look in queens, riverdale etc. and find something nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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You can find a place in Yorkville or LES [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 11:31 PM Flag
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Are you in a LOC state? It will be difficult to find a nice apartment for under $2200 in NY area [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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np: this is just wrong. you can absolutely find a decent place for under $2200 - not in Manhattan, but definitely in NYC!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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where? Riverdale in the Bronx and good areas in Queens will cost more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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"I can afford to stay in NYC" "well what about any of these areas, which together add up to about 70% of the city" "I don't want to live in one of *those* places." Well go fuck yourself then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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can you specifically point out the areas where a well kept 3 br will cost under 2200? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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I would like to know too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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This is a town house. You will pay over $500 in utilities here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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It's also in Staten Island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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Last I heard that's part of NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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All right, I'll give you that. It is in Brooklyn, and in a slowly gentrifying neighborhood. But the public schools there are TERRIBLE. You will, at minimum, have to pay private school tuition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Plenty of people send their kids to those schools. Apparently you don't "have to" pay private school tuition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Astoria - $2,300 but appears in good shape, decent kitchen - and this is pretty darn close to Manhattan - you go farther out in queens you can get a whole house for under $2K http://www.trulia.com/rental/3012271243-2531-Crescent-St-2-Queens-NY-11102#photo-5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:24 PM Flag
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Another one in Queens not too far out, with a renovated kitchen and PARKING. http://www.trulia.com/rental/3152077900-106-09-Ditmars-Blvd-Queens-NY-11105#photo-2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:26 PM Flag
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You probably won't find anything for less in NYC, especially if you are talking about at least a 2-bedroom. You might have to move out of the area altogether. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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Hint: NYC consists of more than Manhattan south of 96th street and a tiny sliver of Brooklyn. Idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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do both of you work? is this rent controlled apartment? how big is it and where is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:04 PM Flag
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OP: Yes we both work and it is rent stablilized. It is pretty big. 3 bedroom with nice view and outdoor space. Lots of light, etc. It just needs a lot of work. Work we don't have the money for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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where is it located? what is true market rent for this apartment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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Bklyn. We are paying market value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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So you are saying you can find another apartment in the same neighborhood of the same size for 2200? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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Then what is your DH's reason for wanting to stay? By the way, I would love to know where in Brooklyn I can find a 3br for 2200 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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OP: Because he doesn't even notice the things I see. His head is buried in the sand. He doesn't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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I don't buy the $2200 3br in Brooklyn story being market rate so I am having a hard time sympathizing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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I am also finding very difficult to believe that both of you work full time and earn 100K together. A nanny + cab driver earn more these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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np: I think you are off on market. My 1.5 bedroom in Gowanus is $2,000 at market and has no outdoor space or view. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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You're going to have a hard time finding sympathy here. Your rent is literally half of what we pay in Brooklyn. Of course your landlord doesn't want to fix the place up. If you leave, he'll double the rent. You should be happy to have rent stabilization otherwise your family would be looking at Wauheekan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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np: sooooooooo this!!!!!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Math is not your strength, I take it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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$2200/mo is not 75% of a 100K income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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she probably means net after taxes, healthcare, and 401K contributions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:13 PM Flag
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The term for that is not income. It's disposable income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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If $2200 a month is 75% of takehome, that means take home is $35,200. No way the tax rate and deductions is 65% of 100k. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:32 PM Flag
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Do you both work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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why won't dh move? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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He doesn't want a long commute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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I pay almost 7K for our apartment each month in rent, and we have roaches, peeling tile, mold around our tub, broken light fixtures (finally fixed), and broken lock on our bathroom door, etc. Things slowly get fixed, except for those horrid roaches. The price of living in NYC. I want to MOVE! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:06 PM Flag
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No kidding, NYC is a joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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op: wow. That sucks. Those disgusting roaches are the worst. We never had a problem but then they replaced our fridge with a refurbished fridge and overnight we had tons of roaches. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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Let me guess, you live in a rent controlled 3 bedroom on the prime UWS paying $2200 and you are not happy about the peeling paint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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Sounds like she's not happy about the roaches, broken light fixtures, broken windows, peeling tile, recurring mold, moldy tub, and ceiling leaks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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cry me a river [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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Yes, I always love bathing my child in a moldy tub. And we could never move away from her little pet roaches! You are right, these are totally unreasonable things to be upset about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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You can move to a nicer apartments where its unsafe for your child to go outside or stay where you are and spend $$ to fix the things you don't like. No one should be providing for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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go to gail brewers website there is a building on the upper west side looking for middle income tenants. I think you would qualify. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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This one: http://manhattanbp.nyc.gov/html/home/home.shtml ? I don't see it ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:32 PM Flag
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