• Filter the conversation
[ - ] So is the US pretty much inexorably slipping into factional/identity politics? There's going to be a "white" party, and a "party of minorities," and that sort of thing? How did we arrive at this point? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:34 PM Flag
»
Funny thing about the "party of minorities", AA don't realize that Latino immigration had been eroding their earning power the most. Sounds like an alliance that can't be rooted in common economic policy, as latino immigration goes against AA welfare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:38 PM Flag
»
I think that you are totally wrong. But, if you are right it won't be long until the white party losses every time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:46 PM Flag
»
Not really, because population is not evenly-distributed. "Minorities" are especially concentrated into certain states, while many others (all of which get 2 senators) remain overwhelmingly white. We also have the general refusal of hispanics in areas like Texas to vote at all, which dilutes the political power implied by their numbers. And of course, minority coalitions can be tricky to hold together. It will be interesting to see where this all leads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:50 PM Flag
»
Exactly. I'm Latino and we are geographically distributed in a way we'll achieve minimum political impact. I'm not against this, as immigration isn't important to me. Economically and educationally wise my household achieves at a white level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:58 PM Flag
»
As a Latino voter in NYC (but not from PR, Dominican Rep nor Mexico), I might add that Latino voters are among the least educated ones, probably just a bit less awful than AA voters who just go for name recognition. I can't think of a NYC Latino politician they've put in power who isn't lame and/or corrupt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:00 PM Flag
»
i can - Nydia Velasquez - i've been in meetings with her and she is insanely bright. her off the cuff remarks make me want to re-think my whole existence. she's always there for her community and is not corrupt. locally, although he's not my councilman, Antonio Reynoso is pretty great. when he was working for Diana Reyna (who's also amazing), I couldn't believe how smart he was for a guy who was only in his mid-20's at the time. i'm white, but have been impressed with lots of the Latino politicians and leaders i've met. you should attend an El Puente event. the work they do in the arts and with the environment are top notch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:19 AM Flag
[ - ] How do you stay happy in NYC? I want to move and DH does not. Life has become so routine. My 2 DCs do homework all night and most weekends. I have not been able to find work and DH's career has taken a turn for the worse. We are otherwise happy, healthy, roof over our heads and savings. More than most globally. I just feel very unfulfilled like "Is this all there is?" Sorry TLTR. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:29 PM Flag
»
For the concise version: No joy WWYD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:30 PM Flag
»
Manage expectations better. Try new things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:39 PM Flag
»
Travel more, read more books, study something, cook more, take up a new hobby, start drinking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:39 PM Flag
»
Nothing about your post is ny-specific. What are you looking for that you don't have? It might be something easier to find elsewhere and it might not. But you have to start with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:43 PM Flag
»
How would this be different if you moved? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:43 PM Flag
»
this doesnt sound like a nyc issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:45 PM Flag
»
It's not. She's bored. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:58 PM Flag
»
Well it sounds like your kids are in absurd schools, but I know that's typical on ub. Other than that, welcome to adulthood. What did you expect? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:53 PM Flag
»
Where do you want to move? And how would this move make you happy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:56 PM Flag
»
This is not unique to nyc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:26 PM Flag
»
Why can't you find work? I think that might be the root of your problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone read Fates and Furies? I'd heard such good things about it but I'm up to Chapter 3 and hate it. Worth sticking with it? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 04.30.16, 07:29 PM Flag
»
I don't stick with books I don't enjoy. I have loved books others loathed and vice versa. This board loved Gone Girl and I just couldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:31 PM Flag
»
I actually enjoyed Gone Girl -- as a fun read, not great literature. But this F &F is killing me on all levels. I usually stick with books if I've gone a fair way into them, but I'm thinking of bailing now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:40 PM Flag
»
i read 80% of fates and furies.. I gave up. I just didnt care about the characters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:46 PM Flag
»
Hmm, thanks. I'm out! What about Girl on the Train? I'm trying to read "popular" stuff just so I'm not out of the loop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:50 PM Flag
»
i really liked that one!! it's not great literature but I could not put it down. Did you read where'd you go bernadette? that was great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:53 PM Flag
»
NP. Thanks for this recommendation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:02 PM Flag
»
Eh. Felt like I had wasted my time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:36 PM Flag
»
I just started this! I'm in the same place as you, but I'm liking it so far. What do you hate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:53 PM Flag
»
I don't know, the sex seems so heavy handed and written for shock value. The writing in general seems overwrought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:57 PM Flag
»
I give new books fifty pages. If I don't love it by then, I stop. You're going to die with SO MANY good books unread; why waste your time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:54 PM Flag
»
50's good -- I'm up to 39 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:57 PM Flag
»
Hated it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:58 PM Flag
»
Thanks, all! I'm kicking it to the curb! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:02 PM Flag
»
It was . . . OK. Really wanted to like it, but in the end, it just felt very contrived - like I could see the author's schematics. but some of the social points were spot on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:53 PM Flag
»
I liked it better as it went on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:03 AM Flag
[ - ] I have to give my 18 mo a liquid glycerin suppository (for constipation). Any tips? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:24 PM Flag
»
Just push it right up there, the sphincter muscle will naturally pull it in once you get it in most of the way. Easy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:41 PM Flag
»
Did ped recommend? We had similar problems with DD and sprinkled Miralax on her food. Worked like a charm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:41 PM Flag
»
Give him/her half cup of water with about 3 tablespoons of xylitol. It will take a day or less to work but it will work well. Just know that the more you use it, the less effective it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:50 PM Flag
»
Have diapers handy!! They work super quickly, your DC will feel a lot better afterwards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't understand this guy I know. Constantly dating, always has girls hanging off of him. He is such asshole and extremely unattractive. Not wealthy. IDK what these girls see in him. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:16 PM Flag
»
What is something you should ask your friends directly for $100 Alex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:19 PM Flag
»
LOL. They're not my friends though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:31 PM Flag
»
Some women like bad boys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:40 PM Flag
»
Call girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:55 PM Flag
»
Is he really good in bed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:02 PM Flag
»
There's no accounting for dumb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:28 PM Flag
»
Are you a guy, OP? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:30 PM Flag
»
no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:34 PM Flag
»
Well why do you think girls like him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:38 PM Flag
»
That's why I asked. I can't understand it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:52 PM Flag
»
Does he have an 'aura of cool'? Is he 22? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:31 PM Flag
»
Ask him out on a date and find out the answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 10:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Going to a party tonight, attire is "smart casual." What should I wear? Might be a mix of indoor/outdoor. It is chilly (50s) Thanks!! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:15 PM Flag
»
Dark well fitted jeans (not too tight), great sweater, boots, nice coat, scarf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:19 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:41 PM Flag
»
I would wear jeans, tee, blazer, big necklace, pumps; or leather leggings, slouchy sweater, booties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:24 PM Flag
»
It says smart casual not stupid-bimbo casual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:30 PM Flag
»
Lol down, Cujo. Such hostility for a Saturday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:37 PM Flag
»
LOL. I love your "Down, Cujo". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:47 PM Flag
»
^^I'm going to remember this line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:48 PM Flag
»
Haha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:40 PM Flag
»
More like flyover-bimbo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:41 PM Flag
»
It will be in the high 40s low 50s tonight she will be freezing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:32 PM Flag
»
I would obviously wear a coat while outside. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:35 PM Flag
»
Who says "smart casual" anymore? This was the dress code for work events in the UK in the early 90's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:42 PM Flag
»
What the hell is smart casual? What kind of party? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:43 PM Flag
»
What kind of invitation says this? Is it a corporate event? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Planning a trip to Disney. Where do I start? Will it be hard having two kids of different ages/interest (7/3)? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:07 PM Flag
»
First book lodging then do air. Try to stay at a Disney property or at least one with a shuttle bus directly from hotel to the properties. It is easy to navigate the park. Enter and turn left when the castle is in front of you - that is the toddler/kid section. Work your way around the park. It is really fun when they are that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
Wdwprepschool.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:13 PM Flag
»
Buy the Disney guidebook and read their tips. Or go to the boards. We stayed off property, went early every morning 30 min before open, booked the 3 allowed slots and had a great time. Rent a stroller for the 3 yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:27 PM Flag
»
I'd be reluctant to take kids that age to DW, especially if you're going in the summer when it's hot, humid, and crowded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 10:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do I get a lot of pimples right under my jaw line? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:06 PM Flag
»
Phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
It's not where I would have my phone though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:12 PM Flag
»
Leaning on hand? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:44 PM Flag
»
can be a sign of pcos. are you having fertility or wt problems? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:58 PM Flag
»
Why would that be a sign of PCOS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:34 PM Flag
»
acne there can be an indicator but part of a constellation of problems including wt gain and infertility that's why I asked about other issues [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:17 PM Flag
»
IDK about fertility problems (haven't tried to get pregnant), I am overweight but that's probably my fault [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:25 PM Flag
»
Phase of the moon? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:28 PM Flag
[ - ] How far in advance do you book a trip to Europe? Trying to make plans in April for August and the prices are sky high. Oil costs are low why is air so high? Hotels are also a fortune. We are UB UMC. How do people take so many holidays a year? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:01 PM Flag
»
We had a family trip to Greece last June and I had booked flight by previous fall. Summer is peak time to Europe-- if I was planning to go in Augusy I would have booked by Christmas at the latest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:04 PM Flag
»
Using points or in general? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:06 PM Flag
»
Paying cash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
I can never plan that far in advance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:06 PM Flag
»
Me either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:56 PM Flag
»
Air costs are high because of all the crazy security that's needed at airports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:07 PM Flag
»
I never thought of that. Makes sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:09 PM Flag
»
So much more complicated than that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:19 PM Flag
»
Supposedly 54 days before you fly are the lowest prices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
I only take one vacation per year, 1 month to Europe every summer. It's not that expensive actually, we have family in Italy and use it as a base to travel with them within Italy and surrounding countries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
You are right it isn't expensive if you don't have to pay for lodging [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:38 PM Flag
»
+1 We have managed very well using AirBNB in Venice, Rome, Croatia so far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:02 PM Flag
»
Connect somewhere- Take Aer Lingua, one of the Icelandic airlines, or Norwegian Air Shuttle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:14 PM Flag
»
I looked into that and most take almost 24 hours to arrive. I can afford it but over $4K for a bus. seat seems a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:20 PM Flag
»
It's money or pain. If you only want direct, you will have only 2-3 airlines to most cities, often 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:24 PM Flag
»
TAP Air Portugal is another chance- their new flights to JFK arent well known yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:24 PM Flag
»
Try the app called Hopper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:21 PM Flag
»
Same the $ for your retirement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:33 PM Flag
»
Airlines are doing very well at the moment. Fuel prices have gone way down, but airline tickets stayed high, so the airlines are pocketing the difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:49 PM Flag
»
True, but is demand strong enough for them not to have to fight for market share? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:25 PM Flag
»
Also airline mergers have reduced competition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:52 PM Flag
»
August is the worst time to travel to Europe. I got to get Turkish air flights to France for $700 in May [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:10 PM Flag
»
I'd have to be paid to use Turkish air [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:24 PM Flag
»
I loved every flight I've been on with Turkish. The food was great, and I mean great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:23 PM Flag
»
I never plan far in advance -- 3-4 weeks max. My husband never wants to commit due to work issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 11:47 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:35 AM Flag
»
summer is expensive. we did spain in november, and it was still warm there and fantastic, and less expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Why are people on UB so dumb and cannot stand up to all the RM variety trolls? It's a well known fact that it's poverty, usually generational poverty, that is the root of the problem with underperforming schools. Yes, majority of people, who are poorer in coastal areas happen to be AA or recent hispanic immigrants. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:59 PM Flag
»
You are allover the place with this one. I vote for the collapse button. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:02 PM Flag
»
Get out of your tiny bubble. Talk to Latinos, they will tell you without any shame: "Spanish at home, the schools will teach them English". I don't want my kids to go to school along kids who don't even know the language the country uses. Sure, that backward mindset is also the reason why they can't get ahead economically, who would hire people who had been in USA for decades and yet, can't even communicate in English? Just to clean and cook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:06 PM Flag
»
NP This model is called home vs community and is a great way to raise bilingual kids in the US, which is very hard to do. The problem isn't kids coming to school not speaking English - most children will become totally fluent within one year of exposure in an educational environment at age 5. The problem is if the kids have a homelife that has not taught prereading and math skills in any language. The skills transfer across languages but if parents are singing, talking to their kids and not reading to them, the kids will be behind. Those early literacy and math skills are typically not understand well enough to be valued in low income communities - no matter the color or culture of the parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:19 PM Flag
»
Sorry, should say "If parents are NOT singing, talking to their kids or reading them, the kids will be behind." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:20 PM Flag
»
also, i think too many have grandparents or great grandparents taking care of them after school, and they are too old and tired to do free stuff even that would benefit the kids. like playing in the park, or programs at the local libraries which there are tons of. too many kids just watch TV and eat bad food, and it's not their fault that they aren't given more stimulation and aren't learning anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:24 AM Flag
»
You're actually the one in a tiny bubble. I work at a school that is predominantly Latino. It comes as a surprise to parents when you tell them to speak Spanish to their children. Their children are usually English dominant. And speaking Spanish at home does not mean the child will not learn to speak English well. My parents only allowed Spanish at home and I speak both fluently. It's an asset and a positive connection to my family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:21 PM Flag
»
Why do they have generational poverty? No more excuses. Done with that bullshit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:10 PM Flag
»
The ideology of white superiority has something to with generational poverty. Also not having anything to inherit, you entitled twit. (I'm so white I sometimes wear sunscreen in the rain, btw.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:20 PM Flag
»
This. Where are the rest of you living that you don't understand this. Generational poverty is not an excuse. It's a barrier. Some people overcome it but that's not typical. It's like starting life on third base and calling the person who started on first lazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Best tour company for London and Paris? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
Tauck? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:03 PM Flag
»
I have used viator tours for Paris, the Chateaus, Normandy and Mont St. Michel. They have many more. Centrally located near the Louvre on Rue de Rivoli, that's where you catch the buses. You can reserve online at viator.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:46 PM Flag
»
thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 10:35 PM Flag
»
ew, stick with Disney. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 10:37 PM Flag
»
Yes, nobody wants to see your fat ass or bratty kids in Paris [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 10:41 PM Flag
»
You couldn't afford adventures by Disney in Europe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 11:52 PM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 12:00 AM Flag
»
It's $6500 per person plus airfare for the short tours! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 12:28 AM Flag
»
does that include 2 seats on the bus to accomodate your ass? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 12:34 AM Flag
»
Who are you talking to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:48 AM Flag
»
Context Tours, hands down. They do small family tours. I have used them in Rome, Barcelona and Paris. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you dislike Mother's Day? I do because I am coerced do what everyone else's mother agrees to, which is typically a barbecue. I've been a mother for over seven years and not one year did I get to do what I wanted to do. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:52 PM Flag
»
What do you want to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
Something alone with my kids and DH and some alone time for myself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
So do that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:16 PM Flag
»
Tell them it's your day. Or have your own mother's day if you're celebrating your mom or mother in law. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:59 PM Flag
»
Put your foot down and do what you want. No need to hate the day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
Mother's day is a holiday for going out to brunch with your extended family and ILS, everyone exchanging flowers and cards and bragging about the homemade potholders the kids brought home from school. It's not a second birthday for everyone who is a Mom. It's not a day off. It just is what it is. Accept it and move on. If you want a spa day or a girlfriend's day or a day to lounge in bed, pick another Sunday and plan it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:56 PM Flag
»
+1. I agree with this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:03 PM Flag
»
I don't hate it. I just don't care about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:56 PM Flag
»
This will be my first mother's day without my mother. I don't hate it, but I'm not looking forward to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:00 PM Flag
»
I'm sorry for your loss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:01 PM Flag
»
You and me. Planning on a trip to cemetery (out on LI) followed by brunch. Happy Mother's Day to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:46 PM Flag
»
I'm so sorry. My mom is ill and we are waiting to find out what is going on. I'm flying cross country to spend Mother's Day with her because I'm scared it may be her last. My thoughts are with you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:23 PM Flag
»
Growing up, my family never made a big deal out of mother's day. My mother thought it was fun when her kids were little and would make something for her, but she never wanted a bought gift or to go out for brunch or dinner. So I am the same way. The thing I dislike about it is that people always say, "What are you doing for mother's day?" and they look at you funny when you say, "nothing." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:01 PM Flag
»
I don't dilike it but I don't think about it either. It's just a Hallmark day. We usually do something for my MIL since she is older. I think that is how it should be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:03 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:37 PM Flag
»
My SIL takes the day off every year -- goes off on her own for the whole day to do whatever she wants. Of course, she doesn't live close to any family, so it works for her. I end up cooking lunch for my mom and dh's mom. I agree with above poster. It is what it is. All these moms who whine and act like divas because it's no "all about them" remind me of spoiled brides complaining on their wedding day. Be thankful your mom/MIL are still around. Enjoy your kids. It's a Hallmark holiday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:03 PM Flag
»
+1. agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:38 PM Flag
»
This. I don't even think about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:53 PM Flag
»
12 years and same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:21 PM Flag
»
I do, because for me it is about worshipping my MIL (who was an absentee mother at best) and my own mother, who I loathe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:38 PM Flag
»
Ouch! Sorry. I can't imagine loathing my mother. If you don't mind saying, why do you loathe her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:52 PM Flag
»
A few years ago, we decided Saturday would be my Mother's Day. I pick what I want to do which usually means dinner out with dh and kids. Sunday is for the grandmas. Has worked for us [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:41 PM Flag
»
So your poor DH and kids have to spend the whole weekend celebrating mothers instead of gritting their teeth through just one day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:50 PM Flag
»
This!! I wanted to go visit my bro at his house, but his effing low-class gf is having a Mother's Day BBQ/derby party and he wants us to come. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:47 PM Flag
»
Fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:53 PM Flag
»
I was on last night saying I wanted to ditch my kids and treat myself. I just want to forget it's Mother's Day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] We are already asked if we're going to do anything for Memorial. We just opened up our pool and typically for friends who hibernate all throughout the winter and fall are starting to reappear and invite them self over. It's a second home with a pool right next to the beach. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:50 PM Flag
»
Ok and? How is this hard? Them: What are you doing for Memorial Day? You: We have guests visiting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:04 PM Flag
»
I find this so rude when people fish for an invite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:07 PM Flag
»
They probably aren't. I would never fish for an invite. I actually hate staying at other peoples homes. However, I might say "so any exciting summer plans" if making conversation, which does not equal fishing for an invite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:12 PM Flag
»
And? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:16 PM Flag
»
And what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:21 PM Flag
»
Just say no. We have a similar situation and only have guests every second weekend. We also don't invite people back if we don't really enjoy their company and enjoy having them as guests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:54 PM Flag
»
This Week... on People Too Poor To Own A Beach House!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else hate going to school birthdays parties for your child's classmates? I feel like we have so many and I want to do more interesting things with my weekend then spend 2 to 3 hours at some child's party. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:47 PM Flag
»
Yes but it's a phase and we all go through it. Maybe you'll get lucky and people will stop inviting your DC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:49 PM Flag
»
Yes. Hated it. But they end by 3rd when kids in its friends only. Hang in there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:50 PM Flag
»
It's only a few years and then they become drop off parties. I never minded but I like my dc's friend's parents and consider some my friends. So we could sit and visit while the kids enjoy the party activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:51 PM Flag
»
us too - loved the socializing! we have a great group of friends, and it gives the kids something to do and get their energy out. i miss all the little kid parties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:26 AM Flag
»
Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:56 PM Flag
»
ME! I actually avoid a couple of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:58 PM Flag
»
It's voluntary, you don't have to say yes to every party, and hosts don't expect everyone to show up, in fact, they probably don't want to, these parties are pricey, as most places charge extra fee for every single child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:03 PM Flag
»
Why are you staying? We always did drop-off, even when it was drop-off optional and most parents stayed. Go out with DH, come back for pick-up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:51 PM Flag
»
I know I'm in the minority but I don't get inviting the whole class. It's unrealistic to expect parents to attend all of these parties. If you want the whole class to celebrate, bring something to the school. Otherwise, something for family and close friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:00 PM Flag
[ - ] NYC public schools have 40% Hispanics, 30% African Americans and only 15% whites & 15% Asians according to NYT's "Money, Race and Success: How Your School District Compares". Finding a school that has almost no Hispanics and no AA keeps on working as a strategy to avoid the worst schools though. http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/04/29/upshot/money-race-and-success-how-your-school-district-compares.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&region=CColumn&module=MostEmailed&version=Full&src=me&WT.nav=MostEmailed 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:38 PM Flag
»
Bo-ring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:38 PM Flag
»
In NYC, white kids are one grade ahead, but Latinos and AA are one grade behind. Makes a lot of sense given the disparity of knowledge when they just arrive to school. Doubt that parents can expect and demand schools to erase that gap when they are the ones creating it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:40 PM Flag
»
Happens everywhere. Not unique to NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:43 PM Flag
»
Exactly, the same formula can be applied successfully everywhere. Notably in Menlo Park, CA white kids are 2.6 grades ahead, Latinos 2 grades behind (after controlling for socioecon factors). A couple of Latino kids in the class wouldn't be an issue, but more than half can't be ideal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:46 PM Flag
»
Asians are a year ahead whites. White people are lazy and smell of butter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:48 PM Flag
»
LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:49 PM Flag
»
that's me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:26 AM Flag
»
Look at number of kids qualifying for free lunch, that is a much more accurate statistic that can predict the school's performance. Poor parents, no matter what race = poor educational resources. Often times even high IQ poor kids don't stand a chance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:50 PM Flag
»
No, I take poor Asians to wealthier AA or Latinos any day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
There isn't a critical mass of poor Asians in American cities. The ones that immigrate here these days are already middle class in their countries, to even afford to get here. They can't run across the border. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:04 PM Flag
»
Check out how much Mexicans pay their coyotes and get back to us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:12 PM Flag
»
Nope. Dirt poor starving asians still score high [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:59 PM Flag
»
They are not dirt poor starving asians. The ones you get now are middle class at least, very few are poor. The poor ones, are the ones able to run accross the border or come here as refugees. Not enough of them to make any statistics meaningful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
Riiiight... That's why China has increased per capita GDP by like a thousand times in 50 years while Africa hasn't even doubled it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:12 PM Flag
»
Check out how much Mexicans pay their coyotes and get back to us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:13 PM Flag
»
Poor Chinese kids seems to have done OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:00 PM Flag
»
agreed. dd in school with a lot of latinos and the middle class kids are basically the same or better then the white kids at academics and get after school and weekend classes. the poor kids really don't get the same help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:27 AM Flag
»
Iq is genetic so Iq of mom and dad determines school perfformance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:53 PM Flag
»
Some of my friends are PHD students with kids. They live an impoverished life but kids stil do great in scholl becsued mom and dad have high iq [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
Exactly, $ can't buy high IQ. Low IQ in USA leads to low incomes, it's just a proxy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:57 PM Flag
»
Why are they impoverished? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:01 PM Flag
»
THIS! Income is just a proxi of IQ, which is less valid for those immigrant families who just arrived. That's why very poor immigrants with high IQ outperform wealthier whites easily, you can't buy high IQ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
Genetics of IQ are a lot more complicated than you think and one generation is not the indicator. Populations are very mixed too, which makes it more complicated. It's not unusual for kids of low IQ parents to have high IQ and vice versa, happens all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:09 PM Flag
»
You sound like a simpleton, low IQ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:10 PM Flag
»
You can prove that kids do badly in schiol csuse of their Iq not cause of money. Look at lottery winners. Lottery winners have very low iq kids who do badly in school even tho they have huge cash [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
"tho they have huge cash" Not a relevant variable. The lottery $ might not have been there in the key early years of the child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:56 PM Flag
»
Their kids don't seem to benefit from the cash infusion just like bussing doesn't seem to do diddly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:02 PM Flag
»
You didn't get it, the timing of the earnings might not coincide with when it matters the most for the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:10 PM Flag
»
bullshit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:37 PM Flag
»
You can prove that kids do badly in schiol csuse of their Iq not cause of money. Look at lottery winners. Lottery winners have very low iq kids who do badly in school even tho they have huge cash [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
It's generational poverty, idiot. The result is lack of emphasis on education. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:11 PM Flag
»
Ass backwards [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:37 PM Flag
»
DNA of each race is different. Evolution produced different IQ. Pygmy race evolved to have iq 60 https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120515150515AAhrj5F [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:58 PM Flag
»
Simpleton thinking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else? I have been sick with cold for a week. All I want to eat are carbs. Why? Wouldn't my body crazy nutrient rich foods like vegetables? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:31 PM Flag
»
Easy to digest and comfort foods. The first solids we get are usually cereal based. Porridge, gruel etc are baby foods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:33 PM Flag
»
Pretty sure no one ever craves vegetables [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
NP. I do, if I haven't had a lot recently [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:57 PM Flag
[ - ] What would you rather? Option A: 1 DC that is in intense sports, excelling at school. Option B: two DCs and can each do one extracurricular activity (like music) and one sport. Option C: three DCs and kids don't have time for major extra activities, house is chaotic. Option D: four DCs and kids are watching videos often, eat snacks and junk food sometimes for dinner. 118 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:29 PM Flag
»
Are you high right now? Why on earth is this a question and why are these the options? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:30 PM Flag
»
that's exactly what I was thinking, and trying to figure out how to phrase it. well done :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:31 PM Flag
»
Because most parents can't provide the same level of involvement and activities if there are many kids. I know I can't. DH is pushing me for more kids, but I'd rather focus on the ones I already have. That's why I'm asking the question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:32 PM Flag
»
So don't have more kids. It's your body. I know a woman with 5 kids but she's mellow and goes with the flow. But they're also not watching endless TV--they play outside on her lawn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:34 PM Flag
»
I know it's my body and it's OUR family. Anyone who claims they can give the same level of attention to 4 that they can give to 1 is lying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:35 PM Flag
»
You are a nasty bitch troll. Parents absolutely can and do raise loved well cared for well adjusted families of 4. You can't. I'm not surprised. Some people are small minded [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
That escalated quickly. Wonder who the real nasty bitch troll is here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:46 PM Flag
»
I have 3 and am happy w/that number but the part about not giving the same level of attention is completely accurate. The question is what level of attention are you comfortable giving, or not. You are too defensive about this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:11 AM Flag
»
Whatever. They have each other too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
OR: So you're here to just throw shade at large families in a way disguised as a poll? You sound nasty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:46 PM Flag
»
She is. And it's not her first post about either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:52 PM Flag
»
So you already have more than 1? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:38 PM Flag
»
I have two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:39 PM Flag
»
You need to stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
Please. First get rid of the notion that a challenging school for your children requires ANYTHING from you. Second, you don't need to go to every practice, every game. Carpool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:43 PM Flag
»
There is no evidence that that "level of involvement and activities" is good for kids. Chances are they'll be better off with fewer extracurriculars and more learning that the world doesn't revolve around them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:07 PM Flag
»
Sing it sista! Actually, shout it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:29 PM Flag
»
I wanted B ended up with C [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:30 PM Flag
»
^ I had A for 7 years and it screwed up #1 so A is the worst option IME [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:31 PM Flag
»
What do you mean "it screwed up"? DC ended up getting into trouble or something? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:33 PM Flag
»
No but being an only dc and excelling like that seems to have backfired once dc got older [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:37 PM Flag
»
what happened? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:42 PM Flag
»
Only child syndrome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
Which means what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 05:58 AM Flag
»
Or: I didn't reply with the only child syndrome. I replied lower in the thread [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 11:43 AM Flag
»
What happened after 7 years? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:33 PM Flag
»
We had #2 and then #3. It's the type of parenting described by A that really wasn't a good idea. I only see it in retrospect [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:36 PM Flag
»
Tell me more please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:36 PM Flag
»
I don't know... He was an only. Very smart and talented, lots of attention ... kind of an overachiever at a young age but partially due to all my effort and resources centered around 1 dc . I don't know how to explain it but I think my younger kids who aren't getting as much attention and resources will do better long term. I hope #1 will find himself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:42 PM Flag
»
How old is he now? What makes you worry? My first that got a ton of attention has become very angry. It's scary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:42 PM Flag
»
He is 13. I think he is mildly depressed. He still cares to be a good student but he lost himself somehow. I can't put my finger on it but I am worried. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
This sounds like me. I turned out fine but low self worth because my younger siblings and others seemed to be loved just fine for being under performing whereas the expectation for me felt like the best wasn't enough. Self imposed. Not my parents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:00 AM Flag
»
Of course it's not a good idea to have a parent up your butt 24/7. Duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:45 PM Flag
»
He actually wants that but isn't finding his own drive... I think that's what happens with many dcs of onlies (the way OP seems to be parenting and I am not criticizing as I am at fault for having done it with 1st) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:50 PM Flag
»
Listen up moms. Let go early [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:57 PM Flag
»
+1. I'm an only and my parents were very over-involved. It was smothering and way too much pressure for one kid to absorb alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:12 AM Flag
»
None of the above. Who comes up with this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:34 PM Flag
»
So what do you have? This is just reality of large families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:36 PM Flag
»
I chose not to have a large family. Are you Mormon or Orthodox? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:39 PM Flag
»
No. Just a DH that is child crazy. Doesn't help that all three of his siblings have three or more kids each. We have two and I'd need to drop activities if there was a baby added to the mix. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:41 PM Flag
»
Most people I know have 3 kids actually. Why would you drop an activity? Take baby with you to one activity and soon enough they'll be in one too. You sound a little passive--don't have a 3rd kid. It's not dh's uterus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:42 PM Flag
»
Yes, I can take the baby to the activity, but then baby will get too old (baby can't attend piano lessons for example). Then I'd need to organize three piano lessons, three Dr's visits, three little league schedules. It's a lot more work! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
So, don't have a third kid? Seems simple to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:46 PM Flag
»
Seems simple to me too. DH is fighting me on this and will not let go at all. He is actually searching for a family therapist for us because he really wants more children. I don't even have time to go to family therapy, yet he thinks I have time to care for a 3rd DC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
Sounds like your kids are over scheduled. Do you work? Why on earth don't you have time to take care of three kids? I know tons of people with 3+ kids. It's perfectly do-able. Lots of benefits to a large family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:09 PM Flag
»
Yes, I work. I can barely do bath and bedtime with two. One has to watch videos for an hour while I put the other to sleep. I feel so guilty about it already. Add a nursing, colicky baby into the mix? I just can't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:16 PM Flag
»
How old are they? Whether you have 2 or more you need to examine your parenting style and reason to why your dcs can not entertain themselves and need to be parked by TV like that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:19 PM Flag
»
My 4 years old cries if he is left alone downstairs while I put the two year old to sleep upstairs. So I have to park him in front of tv. I can't put both to sleep together because then they refuse to fall asleep and it ends in being overtired and in tears. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:23 PM Flag
»
Are you saying your 2 & 4 yos are in piano lessons and sports teams? As per crying and bed time, you need to stop parenting each as an only [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:31 PM Flag
»
Just go through a rough week or so of putting them to bed together!! They should not have dofferent bedtimes. Figure this out, deprecate bedtimes for a 2 & 4 yo is ridiculous and draining for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:30 PM Flag
»
np: My baby sat outside piano lessons with me and we had quality 1:1 time reading and doing some games. It's actually an ideal situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:48 PM Flag
»
Ditto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
If you don't want three, then don't have another one, but you need to stop with this "all kids need piano lessons from the age of 2" business. You are going to drive yourself insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:13 AM Flag
»
Two is plenty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:45 PM Flag
»
So. Drop activities. Or wait until your children are old enough to arrange transpo on their own [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:46 PM Flag
»
Oh, horrors! Your kids might have to learn that others' needs matter as much as their own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:08 PM Flag
»
If DH is so set on it, then he should make changes to pick up a large fraction of the additional load. If that's wholly impractical b/c of your respective jobs, then he needs to make his peace with that conclusion and let it go. He doesn't get to demand something to which he is not contributing hands-on effort to a significant degree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:28 PM Flag
»
I have two DCs and we're debating 3rd and this is what gives me pause: how can the two of us (DH and I) be in three places at once? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:38 PM Flag
»
You don't. Thats where carpool comes in. Most people in suburbia do have 3 kids and manage. But if you don't want a third, don't have one. I stopped at two and love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:43 PM Flag
»
Maybe it's because I'm in Brooklyn that I feel I can't do this. Maybe I should move to Westchester already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:44 PM Flag
»
Yea, news in Brooklyn have small families [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:53 PM Flag
»
People didn't put their kids in six million activities. They played with their friends and their siblings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:46 PM Flag
»
Ya think ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:53 PM Flag
»
I have option E. (all 5 are like the kid in option A) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:39 PM Flag
»
How do you devote time to them all? How do you drive them to 5-10 games on weekends? How do you supervise hours of music practice? Homework? Sports during the week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:40 PM Flag
»
OMG. Get a clue. Don't have 5 kids. What happens if someone is laid off from work? Second, the economy is predicted to go into a decline soon--China and Oil is going to hell. Its going to have global repercussions. Be the smart one ahead of the curve and have enough $$ for your child's college etc. Third--one child of mine has medical issues that have nearly bankrupted us on occasion. You can't predict life. But you can be smart. No one other than farm families NEED 5 kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:45 PM Flag
»
Your idea of good parenting is miles and miles away from mine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:47 PM Flag
»
How so? Genuinely want to know. Maybe I'm approaching this all wrong. I grew up in a working class family that eventually did well, so want to provide things I could never have as a kid: piano, ballet, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:49 PM Flag
»
OR: first of all, i don't have to drive them anywhere to practice sports, they walk to the field by themselves and play soccer with the neighborhood kids. as for the instruments, they are all at different levels, but we have two keyboards and two guitars in the house, so anytime they want to practice they can. my oldest two are very good at guitar and my third is coming along nicely on the piano. if you are running yourself ragged trying to shove extracurriculars down your childrens' throats you're doing it wrong. oh, and my oldest two are both going to an elite private university in the fall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:40 PM Flag
»
I chose B [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:41 PM Flag
»
WTH is wrong with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:41 PM Flag
»
I don't know. Is something wrong with my thinking? Tell me why you are reacting this way. Am I wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:45 PM Flag
»
You're being perversely dense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:49 PM Flag
»
No, just dense I think. I see I'm getting flames, but I genuinely don't get it. DH is adamant and is saying we can afford help, etc., but I really want to focus on my two. It's becoming a huge issue in our marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:52 PM Flag
»
Are you a sahm? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:55 PM Flag
»
I have a very flexible job that brings in 30% of HHI. I don't want to give it up. I'm a WOHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:57 PM Flag
»
I was thinking you need to get busier [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:15 PM Flag
»
Indeed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
Are you writing an article? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:54 PM Flag
»
No, just having huge issue with DH over this and now I'm getting really flamed, so now I'm thinking maybe I'm in the wrong, but I don't get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:57 PM Flag
»
Does DH help? You're wrong in claiming you can't adequately care for 3 kids. Of course it can be done and done well. If you don't *want* to do it, that's another issue entirely -- but don't say you *can't* or that the 2 you have will suffer because it's just not true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:12 PM Flag
»
DH doesn't help much, especially in evenings. I do dinner and bedtime with two DCs all by myself. One has to watch videos while I put the other one down, so I feel bad about that already. I can't put down both of them at the same time, because then they get overexcited and overtired and don't fall asleep until very late. If I add another DC into my evening routine, I just can't imagine how I could nurse the newborn, burp him and bathe and feed and put toddler to sleep, all while preschooler is watching tv? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:21 PM Flag
»
Well, if he wants another so bad, he needs to step up his game. First of all, there is nothing wrong with older dc watching a video while you put younger one to bed. My kids have learned a lot from educational TV. It has its place. There is no doubt that another child will be more work, and it sounds like you just don't want another, which is fine -- 3 under five is a lot of work -- especially if dh does not help and you work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:07 PM Flag
»
^^^but, don't assume that kids in larger families are worse off, because that is just not so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:08 PM Flag
»
You phrased the question assuming that A by virtue of resources will turn out a super star. B still has a shot but less so than A. C will mean semi educated dcs. D super loser. Reality isn't like that. Often times dcs who grow up in larger families and get fewer resources and less attention learn to value what they do get and to get most out of it. They have more responsibilities and thus are more self sufficient/mature. It's just not so clear cut. Assume your kids aren't watching TV because you don't have time for them but rather helping with baby, doing their own hw, helping cook and cleanup dinner ... See what I mean (I am the mom above who planned for B and got C) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:13 PM Flag
»
+1. OP even says she comes from a working class background and made good -- wants to give her kids what she didn't have. Willing to bet she "made good" because of her upbringing, not in spite of it. See this all the time. People who grew up hard and had to have grit to make it want to give their kids the world and don't understand why they don't have the same drive the parents did. They think they're starting them on 3rd but they're really putting them in the dugout. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:15 PM Flag
»
Oh please. That's ridiculous and I have an only! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:43 PM Flag
»
4 DCs. IQ is genetic anyway Sports are useless and lead to injuries and joint troubles in old age. Would rather they be creative and do their own thing as long as they are healthy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:42 PM Flag
»
THIS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 12:06 AM Flag
»
+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:14 AM Flag
»
+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:14 AM Flag
»
Love the way you answered this and very much agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:48 PM Flag
»
Would rather have 5 kids who are smart. Would never want a dumb jock kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:43 PM Flag
»
My child is a nationally ranked athlete and far from dumb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:32 PM Flag
»
and far from as smart as he could be since he wastes all his time chasing a ball back and forth. Think how much more he would know if he spent that time reading. Learning is beneficial for the rest of one's life. Sports are not. All he will take away from his sports time is a knee injury that gives him trouble at age 50. Nothing else. Sports have zero long term payoff. You will say "but it's healthy, it's exercise." No, you can get equal health benefits from working out a few times a week for 30 minutes. Sports and no different than masturbation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:13 AM Flag
»
+1 - also the mom of a nationally ranked, smart athlete (think we have connected on here before). Some of these women are clueless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Sports are a waste of time. Would rather have kids who excel at school, music, and leadership like school government or some other activity that actually prepares them for life. Unless you have dumb kids whose only hook for college admission is sports. Do you really expect your kid to be a pro athlete? And would you even want them to be? So weird when educated people put so much focus on sports and then their kid has shitty SAT scores and shitty grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:45 PM Flag
»
Playing sports teaches discipline, focus and how to be part of a team. That is why many companies like employing athletes who are also smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:43 PM Flag
»
In addition to healthy lifestyle less likely to drink smoke do drugs and get pregnant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:34 PM Flag
»
Elon Musk was never into sports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 04:36 AM Flag
»
And he's a real treasure (not) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:01 AM Flag
»
um he's a billionaire astrophysicist who every smart person in the world looks up to and the google founders constantly talk about how the world would be a better place if they just gave money to him instead of charity. you sound idiotic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:14 AM Flag
»
np: Not relevant but the idea that giving money to Elon Musk instead of charity would make the world "a better place" is pretty idiotic as well. Not that I think it matters that Musk didn't play sports, it's irrelevant to whether he's contributing to society. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:01 PM Flag
»
Sports in school have nothing to do with pro athlete. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:33 PM Flag
»
Just say you'll revisit in a year and leave it at that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:01 PM Flag
»
These aren't even valid options! Four kids doesn't mean D, one doesn't mean A...Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 08:02 PM Flag
»
I wanted option A and have it and thank God!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:13 PM Flag
»
What if your only doesn't like sports or isn't good? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 09:16 PM Flag
»
I chose A. No regrets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 10:45 PM Flag
»
Option D does not sound great. My feelings about Option A are that having an only if that's what you want is fine, but foregoing siblings with the expectation that this will help your dc "excel" in school and play "intense" sports is setting yourself up for trouble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 12:07 AM Flag
»
I married into option c but ex wife is an option d parent so doesn't matter what I want or kind of parent i am. In my previous life as a single parent (I adopted 2 children) one child was a and the other child was a total nightmare. So my life doesn't fit any of these options. And I parented two generations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 06:02 AM Flag
»
I have four dc and they are in activities and don't watch videos often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 10:39 AM Flag
»
Why do you think three or four would not be in activities? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 10:41 AM Flag
»
My brother has 4 kids and one of his sons is 16 and an amazing professional musician. All of his children are excellent students. If you only what two kids, it is fine but I would not base it on extracurricular sir excelling in school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 10:42 AM Flag
»
Option C [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 01:45 PM Flag
»
You have two kids. You can stop having more. Not even because of the likelihood of any of these scenarios but because two kids is enough. Don't listen to the women on this board telling you that four is the ideal number. It's not for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 02:04 PM Flag
»
ha! I know so many 1DCs that are NOT Option A. I have 3 and 2 are nationally ranked players. The other one isn't because he is not as good as the others but does any other activities and is an excellent student. But yes, I do have help with all the shlepping around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 03:59 PM Flag
»
IRL you really don't get to choose. You deal with what you get. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.01.16, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] A woman I used to be friendly with several years ago but haven't talked with more than once or twice in the past few years invited me to her baby shower. She lives halfway across the country and that's where the shower is. I find this to be such a tacky gift grab. Am I being unfair? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:28 PM Flag
»
Nope ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:29 PM Flag
»
I'd assume it was a mistake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:29 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:20 PM Flag
»
or a friendof hers took her address book and invited everyone in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:39 PM Flag
»
Ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:30 PM Flag
»
FADE! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:32 PM Flag
»
Just decline. No obligation to send a gift to showers you don't attend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:33 PM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:49 PM Flag
»
Maybe someone went through her contacts and invited everyone. Not her fault. Send a gift or decline. Maybe she was excited and wanted to share? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:37 PM Flag
»
Send some butt wipes for the little tyke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 06:41 PM Flag
»
The no-name brand from the dollar store. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:58 PM Flag
»
Did you have a baby while you two were close? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:10 PM Flag
»
Yes, if she invites you to the wedding too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.30.16, 07:15 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions