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[ - ] Does anyone know if I can connect my iPhone to my Dell PC using one of those RCA cables (the red and white plugs like you use for a record player) - I need to use my PCs internet on my phone because it's not working, but that is the only cable I have around. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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no u can not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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do i need to buy a new computer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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the computer puts out the internet, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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the internet comes from the computer, right? like if I can connect to the computer my phone's internet will work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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What??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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Sorry, I am totally not being clear. The computer *generates* the internet, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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nope. The wi-fi generates the internet. The computer uses it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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Can I make my computer give it to my phone though? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:39 PM Flag
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No, it comes through the landline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:25 PM Flag
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Amazed by this question in 2018 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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No need to be snippy - we aren't all tech geniuses like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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LOL what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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use your charger cable and plug into USB port. Turn on the mobile hotspot on your cell phone. chose that from the list on your wifi [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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I don't think my hotspot is mobile - do I need to buy one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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Just download one from the landline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Ok, awesome. Can I plug my phone directly into the landline somehow? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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You have to use the CB3 cord your landline phone has and then get an adaptor. You can get them on amazon. Just look for "landline adaptor". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:44 PM Flag
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I will call Amazon thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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You are welcome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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You lost me at "Dell PC." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Ski moms: Taking DCs (5,10) skiing for the first time. We're planning a simple initial trip to Colorado to see if they will enjoy skiing. I've never tried it because I prefer warm weather. Since we're not sure if we'll continue, I am buying all used equipment, including ski clothing. What brands are best? Specifically, I would like to look for the warmest brands that are easy to wear. Any help you might provide is appreciated. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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Rent the equipment and clothes at the ski resort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:14 PM Flag
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This. Plus less to lug through airports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Don’t buy, rent at the slopes. They may never go again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:15 PM Flag
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Why would you buy and pack all that? Rent there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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OP- I wasn't aware you could rent ski clothes. I would be more interested in purchasing our own clothes. Would definitely rent skis, boots, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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Are you going for winter or spring break? If spring break (March) no need to go nuts with the gear. My dcs have a mix of target and lands end, plus name brand (obermeyer/spider/burton) gloves. Llbean is also good for pants, jackets, layers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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Thanks! We're planning for spring break in March. In looking at used jackets/pants I've seen Spyder, North Face, Roxy, Burton, Obermyer, NILs, Helly Hansen, Bogner, Roxy, etc. Since I have no experience here, I don't know if any of these brands are warmest or perform well. We have North Face jackets for regular winter wear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Buy long underwear from Lands End and maybe good socks and a turtleneck from Lands End. Ski Pants? Buy used one at ski shops but rent skis at resort. Kids need a jacket to wear, buy one so they have it all winter. Gloves? Buy used. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Does red shirting really increase the chances of getting into a tt school? Have a Summer bday boy and not sure what to do. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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You apply when they are "young" and let them tell you he's too young and to come back next year. So really you get two bites at the apple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:03 PM Flag
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The school decides not the parents in nyc privates. You will get “too young” and there is nothing you can do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:05 PM Flag
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I don’t think so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Hunter High School cut scores are up: 625 for both ELA and Math. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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AGAIN? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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Fake News [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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? It's up on their website; application period is now officially open. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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6th time this has been posted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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Is it the same cut off for each race or are the cut offs race normed like Harvard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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You sound sexually frustrated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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What about middle school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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I hoped it would be higher. Feel like all DCs friends will be taking the test! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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For real [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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So honestly, who is having their DC do formal prep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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How many applicants for how many spots estimated ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:28 PM Flag
[ - ] I would be supremely happy as a trust fund baby or married to a rich DH as a SAHM with help. I realize that most of my problems and psychological issues directly relate to money or lack thereof. Having to work for a living really kills my spirit and my corporate working experience had been primarily unrewarding and at times horrible and denigrating. 240 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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I'm the opposite. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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What keeps you going? YOu must love your job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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I do. In-house lawyer, organization I care about, great people. Also important is balance. I don't live my job, it's a part of my life as well as other stuff. Don't make a huge salary but tons of money has never been my goal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:20 PM Flag
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THIS. I went for a meaningful career over corporate law/finance. I also skipped the asshole finance rageaholic DH. Women who married for money are on here obsessing over divorce every day all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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Law still pays well, at least low 6 figures even if you are not in soul sucking type of it. It's good that you like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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You and me both, sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:22 PM Flag
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Totally agree. I could have written this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Whoops, meant to reply to OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Same here. Parents should think twice before pushing their kids into a profession they feel nothing about. Life is long, and it's not easy to spend half of it doing something you don't give a shit about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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OR happens to like law and law pays well. If your DC doesn't like law/finance/tech/medicine what do you think your advice would be for them? They won't make a living in certain cities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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Way to miss the point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:29 PM Flag
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What's there to miss? What if something you like pays 40-50K a year, can you afford this job when you also need a babysitter? It's great when something you like pays decent 6 figures, makes it easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:11 PM Flag
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++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:28 PM Flag
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I agree. it is such a terrible taboo to say but money does allow you to avoid misery. I was working class then inherited serious money and am now so much happier [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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Thank you for being honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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This, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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are you that shallow and materialistic that you can't even imagine a person telling the truth when they say money just isn't that important to them? sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:49 AM Flag
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No I cannot imagine anyone being happy without some sort of financial security, some feeling that there will be shelter and food and medicine provided no matter what, safe neighborhood for kids and schools. Because you need money for even these basics, I believe it's important. Without money you have to be one of the people who are happy living homeless or scraping the bottom and personally it would make me incredibly unhappy, so call me shallow and materialistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:31 AM Flag
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OK, what you've done here is messed up. The OP was about being a trust fund baby, not having to work, living the life of luxury. The subsequent discussion was about marrying rich to get all of this. That's called greed. You're justifying it by painting an image of deprivation and struggle just to survive -- as if it's one or the other. The vast, vast majority of Americans don't live in either extreme. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Vast majority of Americans don't have financial stability or a nest egg, newer generations won't be retiring like boomers. And if Social security goes bankrupt we will quickly become 3rd world. You are very delusional as to how poor lots of people are and how many life hand to mouth and work essentially for basics. Even if OP is not one of them, it's irrelevant. Even in your UMC bubble many people are worried what lives their kids will be able to afford as they don't have much to help them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:18 PM Flag
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the vast majority of people in the world live this way, and many of them manage to have happy, successful lives. you're backing yourself into a corner where you have to be rich to be happy. you keep changing the goalposts to make that argument. Suddenly, it's not enough to be middle class because middle class people still have financial insecurity. Sorry, but there are many financially insecure people who still manage to have happy lives in part because they don't think their lives need to be perfect to be enjoyable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:21 PM Flag
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I don't wish I were rich because I want my life to be perfect. I wish I were rich because then I could buy my mother a house - the most wonderful, kind, loving person who has given me EVERYTHING - I could make her comfortable. I could show her just how much I appreciate her by giving her something she has always dreamt of. But I can't. And that makes me unhappy. Is my life over? No. Do I experience moments of happiness? All the time. But if I had a huge windfall of money and could buy my beloved, wonderful mother a house - I would be VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY HAPPY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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Yes, it's an example of the problem that money can solve and that can make someone very happy. I feel the same way as I would love to buy some more comforts for my family and DH's. When you grew up poor or LMC and are still surrounded by family members you see struggling with basics every day, you feel helpless, even if you are more successful and you can help a little bit, you just don't have enough to make much difference in their lives. FWIW, when DH's parents had dental issues and no money to fix it, we paid for their implants and it gave us great satisfaction, just a little bit of happiness money was able to buy. We paid for my nephews SAT prep classes, send family on a beach vacation they could never afford, co-signed on an apartment for a close relative so that his child could go to a good school district, bought a used car for FIL and cosigned on a car loan for SIL so that she could have her business. Money does buy happiness, so f you all who say otherwise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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The people here saying that money doesn't buy happiness are being dishonest or contrarian. Happiness is buying one's mother a house, paying anything needed to make one's grandparent's comfortable, treating a beloved friend to a nice gift, giving to a charity that makes a difference in the world, surprising a waiter with an unexpected huge tip that might change their month, spending anything needed to get the new generation of the family set up - education, etc. That is happiness acquired through money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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I bet that's what slave owners told themselves. Look, the slaves are singing and dancing around their squalid huts, and they make love and have babies - they must be so happy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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How did you inherit serious money if you were working class? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:19 PM Flag
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Read The Millionaire Next Door [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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Ffs, not that stupid airport book again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:51 AM Flag
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Do you know the premise? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:35 PM Flag
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My plan is suicide. Good night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:47 AM Flag
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I am sorry, I hope you get lucky and things turn around! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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Do you keep a detailed written budget of your money? I find that this helps anxiety. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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I do it periodically, it helps. But I know that I am not going to escape having to work for a living, it's just a fact of life for those of us not born into money who have to build our lives from scratch and whose parents are barely taking care of themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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I have seen personally what is the only beneficial and appropriate course of action for people: to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in all their hard work on earth during the few days of their life which God has given them, for this is their reward. To every man whom God has given wealth, and possessions, he has also given him the ability to eat from them, to receive his reward and to find enjoyment in his toil; these things are the gift of God. For he does not think much about the fleeting days of his life because God keeps him preoccupied with the joy he derives from his activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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-King Solomon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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He was thinking more toiling in eucalyptus groves, less corporate world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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I think you can feel free to rule out any gibberish written by the elites at times of slavery and serfdom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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Zzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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Money does not make you happy, but for me money allowed me the freedom to find what it is that makes me happy and I found it!!! I strongly suggest that everyone try to get money if they can [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:03 PM Flag
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What did you find? Please share [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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I found that money is important. Young good looking women should try to marry a nice and kind man with money and skip the men without money. skip them. I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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My friends selected husbands on the basis of looks, all my friends ignored the short fat bald guys with $. Big mistake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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you know there are other criteria for mate selection than looks vs. money, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:38 AM Flag
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Well choosing on looks is the worst mistake there is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:23 AM Flag
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and yet the single women on this board are out there spending vast amounts of time, emotional energy and money trying to maximize their looks to catch a man. Nobody ever questions the wisdom of this. If it's a bad idea for a woman to choose based on looks, isn't it an equally bad idea to be the woman some man chose based on looks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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Yes it’s a bad idea on either side. No one is stating otherwise. Unfortunately men usually care so much about it that women have to play along [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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And anyways only a very small portion of men get their pick of the pretty girls. Beyond that most are delusional and should take what they can get [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 PM Flag
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to an extent. but i think focussing on looks as a way to catch a man is a sucker's game. you can only put your time and effort into so many things, and inevitably you end up neglecting more important parts of your character and development that would keep a DH interested and happy after the looks fade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:44 PM Flag
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Too late for OP I suppose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:12 PM Flag
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This is just, no. This is not an auto ticket to happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:50 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:22 AM Flag
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So money DOES make you happy because it gave you the ability to float around till you found something you loved. If you didn't have the money you wouldn't have this freedom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:30 PM Flag
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I married for love and my dh accumulated lots of money. When he got annoyed with me, he was able to attract a woman in her 20s. I wish we stayed MC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:06 PM Flag
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I like working. My ideal job would something like a highly paid freelance consultant or something where I could work part time and still make a decent salary. Being stuck at home all the time sucks. Being around kids all day with no adult interaction sucks. Work part time and having a nanny would be the best of both worlds for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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I would be happy with this if I could make this happen. Well paying PT jobs are a unicorn though. Most positions that pay what I need to make are corporate slog. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:09 PM Flag
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The grass is always greener. Plenty of rich people are depressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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This is true. But it's better to be depressed in with some free time and in a large, comfortable house without shivering because of lack of heat, than it is to be depressed while an asshole is shouting at you to mop the McDonald's floor faster on your 12th hour of work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:22 PM Flag
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It is good to have something to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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When you want it. It's not so good when you always have something do to someone else tells you to do when you would rather be elsewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:51 PM Flag
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This is why employment laws are important. The way we treat people matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 AM Flag
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Actually being poor is educational. Trust fund children do drugs and act brats because they've never lived a meager life nor appreciate what they have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:54 AM Flag
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OP here. I am not a trust fund child and was working since I was in my teens, my family was poor and needed my meager earnings. I know that side of life already, so I would love to experience the other. Bring it on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:33 AM Flag
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You are making the opposite point you think you are making. Trust fund kids can experiment with drugs, make some mistakes, and then decide they've learned from those mistakes and bounce back and still live a good life. A poor kid? They can experiment with drugs, make mistakes, and wind up in jail for the rest of their lives. Life is done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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This. If I made mistakes in my youth instead of focusing on school, college and getting a high paying job, I would be in very reduced circumstances now. Perhaps not jail, but homeless shelter would not be out of the question. At best I would be able to live LMC life. Because I have already experienced it, I put a lot of effort to not end up there, it's the reason I work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:30 PM Flag
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And said people would be even worse off without money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:40 PM Flag
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LOL, no shit. Poor depressed people end up on the streets and their kids taken by DCPS if they don't have public housing. Depressed MC/UMC kids end up back in their parent's house, and depressed wealthy end up in fancy therapy and have FT help take care of home/kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:33 PM Flag
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False equivalency. They are depressed with excellent healthcare, extended lifespans, no bill worries or fear that paying medical costs for them or their children would bankrupt the household. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:42 PM Flag
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Exactly. It is bewildering that people here are choosing (I guess?) not to see this. Are these all wealthy people? If so, they are more out of touch with the world than I ever could have imagined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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Or fear that they won't be able to hold their job and will end up evicted and homeless without will power to apply for public assistance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:34 PM Flag
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Too much money can be just as tragic as very little money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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Oh, yes. Tragic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:41 PM Flag
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The Onassis women come to mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:46 PM Flag
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There is tragedy that is unrelated to one's financial situation. I am not talking about money buying you way out of any possible human misery, there are problems money cannot solve. But majority of our problems are money related and financial stress is a cause of major problems in most families. Removing this stress does help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:39 AM Flag
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Not quite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:43 PM Flag
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Who are these people that believe this? This is shocking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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Isn't this true of everyone? How many people would actually CHOOSE to work if they had 500 million in the bank? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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I would choose to do something, yes. I really like my job.Am I the minority? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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Most jobs are hell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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First OR above. I'm with you. I like creating stuff and making stuff. Pure leisure is not appealing to me at all. I need to be doing something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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I do too, but I also want to have freedom, no unrealistic deadlines and asshole people to deal with. I think I could like a job where I could be creative, productive and have no bureaucratic BS and cluelessly assigned deadlines and having to deal with backstabbing and disrespectful people, which describes 95% of corporate jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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Exactly this. And guess what can provide the circumstances for having a job like this?? Lots of money! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:51 PM Flag
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I work a 9 - 5 job, and I have to be here every day. Right now I have the most MISERABLE menstrual cramps that make me want to curl up in a fetal position. Not to mention all the other symptoms. It is so, so painful and uncomfortable. Guess where I am? At work. Because I am not rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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what? all the billionaires are still working. you dont just throw in the towel because you dont need more money. people need to do something productive in some way regardless of money situation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Yea, I am sure their "working" situation is the same as those of us who have bills to pay. They have an army of workers and assistants to do anything they do not like to do. Most wealthy spend their mental power making decisions, not to say it's easy, but it's very different from soulless grind work most of us must do to make a living. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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but they had to start somewhere to get t o where they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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So did everyone else. We all started somewhere. I started working in my teens because my family needed extra money to pay rent. I worked FT when I went to college and long hours afterwards. I know people who worked 2 jobs to put food on the table and they worked hard. People who have to work for a living till old age are not forced to do so because they are lazy and lack work ethic. Not everyone can be a billionaire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:46 AM Flag
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Very few and pretty much non traditional jobs and trust me they would quit the moment they dislike something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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Of course. This is obvious to anyone who is being honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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i worked for a prestigious cultural institution, the kind where it cost $100k to be on the board, and the rich women on there treated it like a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:37 AM Flag
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I assure you they didn't take shit like women who are working for a paycheck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:48 AM Flag
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actually they seemed like neurotic messes. the wealthy, park avenue philanthropist crowd was their whole world, and you better believe they took it seriously. They also needed to be successful at it for their husbands' careers sometimes. When things didn't go well for them, they didn't just shrug and say, i'll go eat bon bons since I don't need the money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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And where would they end up should they fail being successful in their charity endeavors? Will they be evicted from their 5th ave penthouse and have to go rent a garden apartment in deeply residential Queens/Bronx and send kids to whatever public schools? Would they have to postpone getting dental work done or sell their car and all their jewelry and luxury items to pay for healthcare? I get it that stakes are high in the circles of uber rich, but should they fail, they fall on an ample fat cushion made of millions and can at least go and have a quiet life still full of luxury often in the same place or another high COL area. I bet they still will get to keep their kids in private schools, and all their household help and not skip a round of botox. So, their DH won't get a partnership piece somewhere and they won't be invited to another Gala? Their lives are ruined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:42 PM Flag
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all of that should be true, theoretically, and yet it's not. rates of suicide and depression are higher among the rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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Can you cite this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:16 PM Flag
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just google it, lots comes up. this has been well studied. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:39 PM Flag
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You are right. Depression often arises from feelings of worthlessness and uselessness. Many people who have nowhere to go and nothing to do can get depressed, we are wired like this. The poor cannot afford depression like this, they just kill themselves differently - drugs, crime, homelessness. Same result eventually. Misery doesn't discriminate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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If they are public personas I can see that they can be immensely stressed. This life is not for everyone. But then again, I hope it was their choice, you don't have to become a persona just because you have money, easy enough to stay under the radar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:57 PM Flag
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but realistically what are you going to do if you are independently wealthy and don't work? women in that life who don't join boards or start foundations are seen as pathetic and a waste of life. you might live 'under the radar' but you are known to others of your class and they expect you to do charity work. a minority have the talent and drive to throw themselves into the equestrian circuit. otherwise, if all you do is travel and live for yourself, you're like those eurotrash everyone looks down on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:12 PM Flag
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Honestly, I would go back to school, get a Ph.D and maybe an academic career, teach, do research. That's what I always wanted, but could not afford. I would not do circles of non-profits or chair anything or organize anything. Not my thing to be such a politico socialite, I am a nerd. I would donate to charities and volunteer, primarily helping children and homeless and disadvantaged youth, but I am not interested to be a part of the scene to pursue some petty ambitions. I would help our families make their lives tremendously better. I would also travel a lot and take my kids around the world. I would allow them to pursue whatever careers they LOVE, not something to make money like I did, because I had no choice. Giving my kids choices would be the greatest gift, helping family would be the greatest gift, donating to charity and being able to make an impact in lives of others would be a greatest gift. I can see myself as a very happy rich lady with a full life. I am sorry so many of you disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:08 PM Flag
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^^And I would also free DH from having to work his job he also hates. I would love to have him back they way he was, not burdened and stressed. It would honestly make me happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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I assure you that you are wrong and your fantasy of being rich is typical of people who have no exposure to this world. the politics in their world are utterly nasty and played at a very sophisticated, devastating level. And they feel trapped by it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Please sign me up for the "trap" of having people I don't care about talk shit about me while I stroll my beautiful townhouse, travel whenever I want, stay home when I feel sick instead of dragging my ass to work, and spend my time as I wish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:50 PM Flag
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If you lived in this world you would care ENORMOUSLY what those people thought of you, dummy. You're viewing it from the perspective of someone who has been parachuted into that world all of a sudden. For them, it's all there is, that's the trapped part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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People outside of that world also have to worry about what people think about them AND their bills, dummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:41 PM Flag
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are you the person above who pictures herself being airdropped into a mansion and doesn't understand why people who have been raised in a certain world, with certain expectations, can't just act like they won the lottery every day of their lives? LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:17 PM Flag
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It makes me sad that people like you exist, that you think that because independently wealthy people have "expectations" that it's a problem equivalent to what working people experience. Well, I guess the good news is that if one of your loved ones ever faces a grave illness, you will have lots of funds to give treatment to your loved one. Lucky you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:57 PM Flag
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ok, moron. how many times do you have to be told that nobody is equating rich and poor? you don't get it at all, and you know NOTHING about the way i was raised. read what's being said at the end of this thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:08 PM Flag
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If you have the tool ($$$) to solve/ameliorate many of life's greatest problems/tragedies - illness, infertility, insecurity in basic needs, freedom of movement to combat loneliness - then that is the tool to achieve greater happiness than people who have to live with these problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:32 PM Flag
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This. PP thinks there is zero politics and stress in corporate world unless you get to the tippity top. There are layers upon layers of workers all grumbling for the same spots slightly higher up that are getting fewer and fewer. Corporate world is a bunch of hungry animals fighting for scraps with a few B-types who had completely checked out and are just doing the minimum to not get laid off and pay the bills. Even public school and neighborhood SAHM circles have their own politics not to mention the joys of PTA. And all of these people have to manage their little stresses and also pay the bills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:56 PM Flag
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well obviously. the point is everyone has stresses -- your happiness has much more to do with how you handle those stresses and what you prioritize in life. that's how it's possible that Latina immigrants working 100 hours a week can be happier than trust funders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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It's possible, but it's a myth, don't delude yourself please. Nobody working 100 hours for basic food and shelter is going to be happy long term. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:12 PM Flag
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They trap themselves, it's their choice, they are not forced into these circles. Are you going to tell me that a person with immense fortune has limited choices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:47 PM Flag
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This shit is laughable. "Wealthy people are TRAPPED!" Then...what are we? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:49 PM Flag
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we're trapped in very different ways. it's what we do with our life circumstances that determines whether we're happy. i guarantee there are poor black people in wheelchairs who are happier than a lot of park avenue types. haven't you ever wondered why that is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:01 PM Flag
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Read this. I'm sorry to be cruel, but your eyes are a bit closed to reality and I would trade places with you tomorrow. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/09/01/641615877/insulins-high-cost-leads-to-lethal-rationing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:04 PM Flag
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i work in health care, i know the stories. doesn't change anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:37 PM Flag
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I get it that some people are happier than others and it's not money related. People on meds are also happier, people on drugs are also temporarily happier. Meditating monks are happier. So what? There are still people struggling every day with basic problems money CAN solve, many more of them in the world than anecdotal happy Latina women working 100 hour weeks or poor guys in wheelchairs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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rich people don't live their lives as though they won the lottery. you're picturing being dropped into that life with all your current values and attitudes. they are raised very differently. for example, their families are utterly obsessed with the family money, and make it clear that you are only a temporary custodian of it, and it is not really yours. And that you need to keep up appearances at all times in order to be worthy of the life you were born into. You are not free. I've been exposed to the rich and the poor and I genuinely don't know which life I'd prefer. I'm glad I'm just middle class, even though I live pay check to pay check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:59 PM Flag
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so true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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You need to find work that you enjoy more. Work that makes you feel good about yourself. That will make all the difference, trust me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:28 PM Flag
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THIS x 1 million. Why would you expect to be happy working as a corporate tool? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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I don't. But unfortunately it's the only route I know to make enough money we need to make do here. At this point I cannot afford to quarter my income to get a fun job with flex hours or to start at a new career from scratch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:51 AM Flag
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I just don't buy the argument that you have to sell your soul to live in NYC. I always had meaningful work in media and non profits, and we scraped by. Just like my friends. None of us had any family help or lived in rent controlled apartments. (Some were rent stabilized; others lived on the margins of brownstone brooklyn etc). We kept it up when we had kids. We were happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:56 PM Flag
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I think you are right. The problem is when you work for someone else, especially a big company, they own you and your time and there is always tons of bureaucracy and watching your back. If you want to do something freelance you don't have income security, so it's a trade. I am going to need to find this unicorn flex hours job that pays me what I need to make. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:00 PM Flag
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BS. I wasn’t nuts when I was broke, and I’m not nuts now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:51 PM Flag
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That's the point, you are not broke if you are rich and choose not to work or work a low paying job you like during hours you prefer. If you are not born into money and didn't marry into it you better work, or it will be worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:05 PM Flag
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I will never understand people on the internet who pretend that they would chose to be a working person over a billionaire who never has to work or worry about money. Why are you pretending?? This is anonymous. You have no one to impress, and you know it's bullshit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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You really don't think there are women on here who choose to work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:06 PM Flag
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I believe there are people who love their jobs, it's just not true for majority of people. At least that's not what I observe around me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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The reading comp on here is horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:52 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:08 PM Flag
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Another reading comp fail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:18 PM Flag
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Most billionaires who made their own fortunes continue to work. SHOCKING! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 PM Flag
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They don't work in the same sense as schmucks who must pay their bills, how shocking is that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:02 PM Flag
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They work for that proverbial seat at the table - true raw political power, power of decision over the fate of the country and perhaps the world at large, they want to be immortal, remembered with their names etched into history. It can take billions to get there. Or are you thinking they are working to afford a longer yacht or another vacation house, newsflash, they can already buy all material goods that money can buy, many of them are richer than entire countries in this world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:41 PM Flag
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You would just replace your current problems with new problems if that were the case. Happiness is genetic. Grass is always greener. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:02 PM Flag
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I want these new problems, bring it on. Let all my current problems go away and we will see. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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This is insulting to people who stay up at night wondering how they will pay their rent next month or how they will buy their kids' school supplies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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Trust fund baby with rich DH here. You would just have a whole new set of problems. Family suing each other over trust fund money, stealing from one another, manipulating one another, etc. BTDT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:03 PM Flag
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Seconding. It's lonely at the top too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:45 AM Flag
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You do realize that poor people also deal with duplicitous people, family drama, theft, etc., right? If someone steals $10k from you, you might be offended. If someone steals $10k from someone living paycheck to paycheck, they might wind up on the street. Do you see that? The problems are NOT the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:56 PM Flag
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Studies show that more money after HHI of 70k a year does not increase happiness and actually decreases happiness. The more money you have the more you are able to see and interact with people way richer than you and then you are just sad you are only a decamillionaire and not a billionaire. Happiness comes from being grateful for what you hate. Your health, your family, your hobbies. More money would not make you happier, it would only make you focus on different problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:05 PM Flag
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I will get flamed but did this study only surveyed people in Haiti? $70k is not enough for nearly anywhere in the U.S. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:32 PM Flag
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It was a study in the US. The amount in other countries was far lower. Basically if you have enough money for food and a roof over your head and medical care, then any additional money does not correlate to more happiness. Happiness is instead a function of your attitude, your relationships with friends and loved ones, your appreciation for what you have, and you genetic disposition to being thankful versus being neurotic. Basically the point to this is don't look at money as a solution to happiness. Look inside at your own character and how you can reach out to your loves ones and improve your relationships and be more grateful for what you have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:56 PM Flag
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To state it another way, if you are not food insecure, housing insecure, or medical care insecure, then everything else is a matter of your personal value choices. If you value keeping up with the jones and spending more money for things you don't need (anything other than food or housing or medical care you don't need.) then you are going to always be unhappy no matter how much money you have because then you just boost up to the next level of Jonese and then want even more money. Happiness comes from what you do for others, your hobbies, your passions, your relationships with loved ones and with your community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:00 AM Flag
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You are forgetting that only very few people are not food/housing/medical care insecure without having to WORK for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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^^and when you have to work for it, there is also that thing called unemployment and being afraid of losing your job, which adds tremendous stress to working class population. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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To have enough money you need to WORK. WORK is what makes some people unhappy. What is so hard to understand about it? Is this survey done among retired population or population of those who have 70K fall from the sky every year where there is no stress of working for it, dealing with PITA bosses and customers, being afraid of layoffs every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:17 PM Flag
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I read this too, and also their book. Two researchers in Boston, so consider the source? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 AM Flag
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70k a year there is no money left over for hobbies. I agree w the principle concept here, that after a certain amount, it’s diminishing returns, but that amount is way of 70k in nyc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 AM Flag
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This is a complete BS. A deca millionaire is not more miserable that he/she is not a billionaire than a person subsisting on 70K in a high COL area having to count pennies and live paycheck to paycheck. This makes no sense at all. There is a point where certain level of wealth is achieved that gives one not only financial security and ability to not work, but also luxuries. And that level is most definitely not requiring billion dollars, not even in highest COL cities of the world. Are you going to tell me that a stress from not being able to afford a private jet is comparable to the stress of not being able to pay rent and having to move to a crappy unsafe area with bad schools or for some people going to homeless shelter? Stress of not being able to afford a decent health insurance or living in a crumbling apartment with mold, because that's all you can afford is not the same as stress of not being able to drop multi-million donation to your kid's private school or not being able to afford a 20 mil Hamptons estate. Don't be fooled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:14 PM Flag
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These people are all delusional or dishonest. You said this perfectly. I'll wish on a star that $10 million falls out of the sky and into your lap :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:58 PM Flag
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No you would not be supremely happy. I have hundreds of friends with trust funds and none of them are supremely happy. In fact I would say they are the most miserable bunch of people I know always angry and self pitying and entitled and mad at every little slight from someone. The happiest people I know are Latina immigrants. Always going to family events like birthdays and quinceneras and weddings and always have family support and people to help with the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:08 PM Flag
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ILY half of my family is Latina. I married well and now feel like a trust fund baby and I was so much happier around my Latina friends and family working 100 hours a week than I am now. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 AM Flag
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Ok, give me all your money and go back living with your Latina family, have fun and GL, I hope your problems will all go away with your money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:25 PM Flag
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That’s not how it works. You all imagine to keep your life now and win the lottery. Imagine moving to a place you don’t like say Detroit or Nairobi, and the only person you know is your DH, and remember you keep nothing - no hobbies, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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It's appearances. You don't know what problems you have because you had never lived their life. I know it first hand. There are issues, like health issues that go untreated because there is no money, teeth that cannot be replaced, apartment that has issues and mold that there are no funds to remediate. No vacations whatsoever, imagine this. A camping trip once every 2 years to a beach within driving distance is all you get. Old cars that are falling apart and stress of fixing or replacing them. Older people working cleaning jobs when they should be retired. I've seen it and it's not as glamorous as you describe, you are deluded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:24 PM Flag
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oh come on, nobody thinks it's glamorous to be poor. but the research shows despite this grind and worry, poor people can be happier than rich people if they have satisfying relationships and feel cared for. That's what matters in life. Rich people who have that really do have it all, but many rich people are isolated by their money and the need to keep up appearances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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This need is their own choice and rich people have lots and lots of choices. Personal relationships have NOTHING to do with money, you are right. And you must understand that poor and LMC and MC and UMC are not excused from these problems. These are NOT problems of the rich, these are human problems. Do you think poor people have this big happy family and have each other's backs and there is no jealousy, backstabbing and judgement and even trying to steal from each other? The researchers are a bunch of clueless fucks, excuse my language, who live in their ivory towers and brainwash masses with mindless questionnaires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:13 PM Flag
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Thank you for stating so clearly what all these extremely delusional people can't seem to grasp. Seeing so many people say "more money is not better because rich people have interpersonal problems" is actually extremely disheartening, because they make decisions and vote based on this distortion of reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:47 PM Flag
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that is not what people are saying. you don't understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:49 PM Flag
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of course not, poor families are often more stressed and broken. the point is that research shows once you meet a basic minimum, wealth doesn't make you happier. that said, a lot of people on here think having to drag themselves to work with cramps is contributing to their unhappiness in a meaningful way. it's not. nobody said life should be easy. and ease and happiness are not the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:47 PM Flag
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I completely disagree with you about the person working with cramps not being happier if she could effortlessly take a day off. Sure, one day of this won't grind you down, but eventually years of this rat race life does grind you down. It's far more common than your happy anecdotal Latina woman working 100 hours that keeps getting mentioned here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:54 PM Flag
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I have enough money that DH and I can work any job and still have a nice life in Manhattan (not drivers and flying first class but nice). I'm so glad that my bbn parents reinforced choosing a career I wanted to do every day, becausenI have that and dh works a good not for profit job and we eat dinner as a family most nights [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:04 PM Flag
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OP, how much do you make a year at this unrewarding, at times denigrating job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:28 PM Flag
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No you wouldn't. You'd go back to your baseline level of (un)happiness within a year. There are thousands of depressed and anxious rich SAHMs with help--who do you you think keeps all the manhattan therapists in business? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:25 AM Flag
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I can assure you that I won't be one of them. I find enjoyment if very simple things, but they require time which I don't have. I also would be less anxious and a lot less stressed without having to work and with not only having my basics covered but also having a few luxuries, like vacations, trips out and not having to deal with inconveniences of the poor I am accustomed to since childhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:29 PM Flag
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You know, I'm going to say it: You're right. I married a trust funder and while I had worked my a*s off in my career, his income enabled me/us to make choices that many people simply can't. I work part-time, still in my field, and it just makes everything for our family easier while still letting me work in something I really enjoy. The flexibility that money affords is life-changing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:41 AM Flag
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the reason it works for you is that your DH is probably a decent guy. Women who marry for money often end up with assholes who make their lives miserable. They're so caught up in 'catching' a rich man they ignore the signs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:44 AM Flag
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Totally agree (OR). I didn't marry him for money, I had my own life going and even already owned my own apartment (albeit in a beat area, but still). And money does come with its own issues, which are of no interest to anybody, really, and shouldn't be. But I've been able to be home with the kids and still keep my career, which is simply amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:52 AM Flag
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NP I would have loved to have kept my career part time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 AM Flag
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There are rich assholes and poor assholes, don't generalize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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This. It’s all about the lack of financial stress and afforded choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:55 AM Flag
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Choices becomes a problem. Read about the Stanford jam study. Less choice is better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:12 AM Flag
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fewer choices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 AM Flag
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More effective than a condom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:00 AM Flag
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I have a friend like this, and she has a major career (works a lot), while he’s SAHD with nanny and does very little. I feel like that set-up would make me unhappy. And it’s not like they’re that rich, but they’re comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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Me.Fucking.Too. Corporate life sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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why can you only imagine the life of a meaningless corporate tool or the life of leisure? there's plenty in between if you realize you don't "need" fancy private schools, luxury vacations and to live in a doorman building in Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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I don't have any of that, not sure why you think corporate world is about people making high 6 figures-7 figures to afford all the Manhattan UMC life trappings. Most of us work for a lot less glamorous lives. We do public schools, private is not even a consideration, rent a 2 bedr, our vacations are pretty modest, luxury travel it is not. To have this I must work in the corporate world, or I won't make enough, DH makes half of HHI. I cannot even afford a job not paying enough to not cover FT childcare. To make a change we will have to move somewhere else, both of us looking for new jobs, uprooting kids from their good public school which was hard to get into, potentially living far from families. The point is we cannot just retire and hope our savings will last and then there will be social security and medical care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:39 PM Flag
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I seriously do not answer any posts. When I was 33, I watched human beings jump to their death From the World Trade Center . Now I just enjoy life. Money is fine. Happiness is friends, family, community. Everything else is ruined by stupid baby boomers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:19 AM Flag
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That's an interesting perspective, I suppose when you witness so much death and survive it, it gives you something else to think about. I would be right there with you if I were single. But with kids I find it hard to be so philosophical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:55 AM Flag
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I remember when I had a baby I started panicking about money and blaming myself for my stupidity in not getting a soulless corporate job. Then I picked up the Sunday NYT and a woman wrote the exact same thing -- that when you have kids in NYC you start to think it's somehow reckless and irresponsible not to have gone into finance. But she said that passed, and sure enough, that feeling did pass as I realized you can raise kids very well without money -- sometimes better, because it forces you to do a lot of the care yourself, not hire it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Being a SAHM is not an option for everyone, I bring half of our HHI. We cannot afford to rent our place and save a little and have kids do sports and have some vacations without my income. And I already lived very LMC life and I know that I don't want it again. I grew up poor and hated it, it's very very overrated. Stop glamorizing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:42 PM Flag
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not one person on this board is glamorizing poverty. come on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:43 PM Flag
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I'm a baby boomer and I'm only approximately about four years older than you. I feel the same way you do. Don't know why my generation is any different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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Yes exactly ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:45 AM Flag
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All the people hear saying "rich people have problems too! It's just the same!" have never even KNOWN someone non-rich, and live in a bubble of wealth. If you had ever even HEARD of someone experiencing the pain and anxiety of having no money, you wouldn't dare something like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:03 PM Flag
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oh stop. stop acting like all we're doing is comparing rich vs. poor and saying they're the same. Nobody is doing that. The entire post is about whether you would be happier if you married for money. If you're on UB with any frequency you know that life choice frequently bites you in the ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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Reading comp issues? NO ONE said it was exactly the same. Just that rich people have serious problems too. Not all the problems in life are financial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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And not all non-financial problems are only reserved for the rich. Plenty of dysfunction in poor communities and families as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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On top of and exacerbated by money problems! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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I've had it both ways - homeless three times - and wealthy twice. Guess what? Everyone has problems, and I'd say those problems are equal as to stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:37 PM Flag
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Were you young when you were poor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:54 PM Flag
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This. I grew up poor and it's very overrated. Rich people and those who grew up UMC love to tell themselves lies about how happy poor and LMC are with their large bonded families and their community and coming joyfully from their crappy jobs singing songs and having a family dinner. They think that depression, anxiety, stress, mental issues, addictions, and terrible family relationships are reserved ONLY for the rich and poor are immune from them. How delusional. Why do you think those of us who grew up poor/LMC strive to earn more and buy better lives for our families? Because we loved our shitty lives of living hand to mouth? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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I don't understand why they are arguing this. It's basic logic. Having lots of money to control your time and say "if someone in my life got cancer, we would fly them all over the country/world to the top specialists and get the HIGHEST level of care" is INHERENTLY BETTER than thinking "if someone in my family got cancer, what impact would the medical bills have on our finances? And I wish I could take a few months off work to care for them, but I can't because I am working for food and a roof". Yes, option A is inherently better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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Sing it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:58 PM Flag
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only a small number of unlucky people are so shallow and devoid of character that material possessions would truly make them happiest. for the rest, once you're no longer struggling to get basic needs met, you are going to be much happier by focussing on family, relationships, meaningful work and artistic or intellectual pursuits. Period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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smartest person on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 PM Flag
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From the land of Unicornia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:57 PM Flag
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That's the point - I wish I didn't have to work to earn money because it could free up MY TIME to spend with family, friends, and intellectual pursuits. Money and material possessions, in themselves, are worthless. The most valuation commodity on earth is TIME. Money buys time to do those things that are truly precious. Now, I spend most of time at work so that I can pay for a roof over my head, food, etc. If I were wealthy enough that I had a roof over my head, food, etc. guaranteed without having to spend the best hours of my day working, I would be free to spend my TIME on things of higher value. Why is that confusing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:27 PM Flag
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We are not confused. What is evident in this post and thread, though, is the disconnect. It's not an either/or for most of humanity. Most people have to work. Of those people, many enjoy what they do and also have time to pursue relationships and other intellectual pursuits. Only you can change your situation if you are so unhappy. A lot of miserable people take the bull by the horns and make a change. Yeah, I'd be unhappy too if I was in a job I hated and thought the only solution was to be rich or a trust fund person. Now you can either wallow in your misery or do something about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:51 PM Flag
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Let me set a few facts straight. 1) Majority don't enjoy what they do, that's why the lottery jackpot keeps going up and everyone dreams of the day they can stick it to the boss. Some enjoy their jobs. 2) To have time to pursue things that are gratifying you have to buy time if you were not born rich. To buy time you must work and that job better pays good money so that you can save, not only pay for basics. If you work only to pay your living you won't save and won't have all that time for intellectual pursuits and deep relationships. 3) Some of us grew up poor and became MC/UMC through hard work and sacrifices, we already know what it's like to be on the other side and we know that money solves problems, you are not fooling us. 4) Majority of highly successful people are actually ruthless and some are downright assholes and bitches, they are not sweet introspective souls sensitive to the needs of others who by divine will attracted all the wealth. I know this because the only time I was able to get ahead is by being a bitch and the moment I softened up, I got stepped on. It's even more true if you are a business owner, like my friend who ruthlessly fired people and nickel and dimed her workers. I am sorry my life experiences made me more cynical than you, but I was surely not born this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:20 PM Flag
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Wow, I wouldn't call that cynical, just sad and misinformed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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Ok, whatever you call it, I wasn't born "sad and misinformed", I became this person through my life experiences, and what I said is not a figment of my imagination, it's observation and talking to people in addition to my personal memories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:04 PM Flag
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Nope she is right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:10 PM Flag
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You probably just don’t intimately know that many very very wealthy/successful people, they are almost always cutthroat bastards of the highest order [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:12 PM Flag
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please. you act like a person "needs" to be a trust fund baby or marry someone rich to be happy. Life isn't supposed to be carefree, and as we've tried to tell you, it's not carefree for the rich either. Struggling with work-life balance, being tired, dragging yourself to the office even though you have cramps, all of that is NORMAL and not taking away from your happiness in any real way (unless you have some unrealistic expectation that life should be easier). The evidence that shows being rich doesn't increase your happiness is not saying that if you have your basic needs met, your life will be easy. Like the poster above said, the happiest people she knows are not the neurotic trust funders, they're the Latino women who work 100 hours a week and still manage to have meaningful, close relationships with family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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LOL, how many of these fake latina women working cheerfully 100 hours a week do you know personally? You are all delusional UMC bubbleheads who want to believe so much that the poors are all happy just the way they are. Poverty must be a magic pill for happiness, why don't you try it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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Money buys time to focus on family, relationships, meaningful things... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:27 PM Flag
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people have always worked throughout history, and this hasn't stopped them from having meaningful relationships or pursuits. Work is not stopping you either. that's just an excuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:10 PM Flag
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Why do you assume that people who want to not work for a living don't have meaningful relationships? Is it impossible to be happy in some aspect of your life and not the other? What an odd idea. You can have a happy family life, love your DH, have friends, but be unhappy with your job or with financial problems or with health issues of your parents you cannot help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:09 PM Flag
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Last time I checked we didn't have universal minimum free income to pay for the basics you describe. What parallel universe are you hailing from, oh the wise traveler? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:57 PM Flag
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My family is from a "second world" country. One of my uncles is wealthy. His daughter had organ failure, and needed a transplant. Without the new organ, she would die, and there was nothing available. Do you know what he did? He paid the equivalent of hundreds of thousands of American dollars for an organ and SAVED HER LIFE. Without his $$$$$, his daughter would be dead. I wish we didn't live a world where this happens, but we do, and that's reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:48 PM Flag
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the vast majority of people never confront that situation in their lives, and would be ill advised to make life choices with these rare scenarios in mind. that's how you make yourself miserable in the here and now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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Big laugh at all the people pretending here, on an anonymous board. I wonder how many mothers saying "more money is not necessarily better" only have their DCs in the first place because they had tens of thousands of dollars to spend on IVF. How much happiness has your child brought into your life? What solved your infertility problem? MONEY - and lots of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:23 PM Flag
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Sorry, you were one of the people I referred to above about "disconnect." Your post doesn't reflect what people are trying to establish with OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:29 PM Flag
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What a lot of posters here are disagreeing with, is other posters saying "having more money is not necessarily better". That statement is delusional, and frankly, insulting. Look at the section of this thread where people say "but, but...rich people get depressed too!". Perfect reply: "False equivalency. They are depressed with excellent healthcare, extended lifespans, no bill worries or fear that paying medical costs for them or their children would bankrupt the household." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:46 PM Flag
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no, we're not making the equivalency in the first place. obviously it's better to be rich than to be poor. but it's best of all to have good, non materialistic values, good relationships and a good attitude toward life. Even a poor person who is struggling to pay the rent, who worries about how they're going to get school supplies for their kids, is better off than a rich person if they have those things -- things that make a person truly happy -- than a rich person who doesn't. That's the part YOU don't understand and refuse to believe. Everyone in the world was poor 200 years ago compared to how people live now. And you wouldn't argue that all those people were miserable, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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How can you argue that someone who is struggling to pay rent (to be explicit: avoid homelessness) and worries about school supplies for their kids has quality of life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:09 PM Flag
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Seriously? What fucking bubble do you live in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:21 PM Flag
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+ 1 mil. the majority of the world lives with this uncertainty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:25 PM Flag
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Obviously the person with chemical mood disorder or a mental illness is never going to be as happy as a mentally healthy person. But these problems are human problems, not problems of the rich, nobody is immune. Good relationships are also human, not only reserved for the specific demographics, rich people can have very good relationships too. You can have great non materialistic values, great relationships but still experience financial stress and be unhappy with your work grind, why is this so difficult to understand. These things are not correlated. Your example about 200 years ago problems is not valid, there were absolutely tons of unhappy people not content with their lot and also happy people AND there were rich and poor and rich and also slavery. Are you saying that rich 200 years ago should have been unhappy because they didn't have great medical care and electronics? It's like saying that people today should all be unhappy because we don't have household robots our great grandchildren will enjoy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:20 PM Flag
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There are only two central issues raised by the OP: 1) having to work a 9-5 job that she hates; (2) alternative lifestyle as a trust fund baby or billionaire. Two ends of a stick with no middle ground. Most people are not extremely rich or extremely poor. Most people can find a balance. Now if we want to get off into a discussion about who is happier, that's absurd because most people fall somewhere in the middle and manage. I don't think anyone disputes that having money, or even the ability to pay one's bills is a bad thing, and it certainly makes life a whole lot easier, but to assign a happiness value to it is ridiculous. What I'm gathering from OP's posts is that she can absolutely not be happy as long as she is working. That's a very narrow view. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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agreed -- and one of the things that makes people happy or not is their ability to accept their lot in life. OP has defined happiness so narrowly that she will never get it. her problem is not her circumstances in life, it's her attitude, and expectation that life should be easy. and her jealousy of people whose lives she knows nothing about. Easy and happy are not the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:07 PM Flag
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I bet that's what slave owners told themselves to make themselves feel better. People should accept their lot in life and learn to be happy, after all there are happy slaves, look they sing and dance and have babies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:21 PM Flag
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More broadly, I think the argument that has evolved is "Vast, independent wealth can create circumstances that lead to greater happiness, in ways that are just not available to non-independently wealthy people: COMPLETE control over one's time, unlimited funds to handle an illness/emergency/crisis, peace of mind that basic needs will ALWAYS be met, the ability to REALLY help a friend in hard times and not say 'I wish I could help, but I myself am surviving', taking time off for emotional health after a major trauma (divorce, grieving, etc.), the largest number of choices about what kind of education you want for your child...These things are available to wealthy people, and not available to people outside of that world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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when I was diagnosed with cancer just weeks after DH lost his job, with no family support, none of my wealthy friends offered to help. Only a retired cop did. And that sums up the reason why relationships are more important than money in my mind. People with money are weird about money. They live in a money bubble. Working class people don't have that luxury, so they band together in tough times. And it's those close ties that everyone agrees leads to real happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:29 PM Flag
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the people on here complaining so bitterly about how much better their lives would be if they were fabulously rich will never understand this. they think: if i were rich, i wouldn't act that way. i'd be just like i am now, only with money to throw at all my problems. they don't want to hear the proven truth that rich people aren't happier. to them, anyone who bursts their fantasy bubble is just minimizing the struggles of the poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:42 PM Flag
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Someone above wrote a very well-written reply to the idea that rich people can have major interpersonal conflicts and feel the need to keep up appearances: "This need is their own choice and rich people have lots and lots of choices. Personal relationships have NOTHING to do with money, you are right. And you must understand that poor and LMC and MC and UMC are not excused from these problems. These are NOT problems of the rich, these are human problems. Do you think poor people have this big happy family and have each other's backs and there is no jealousy, backstabbing and judgement and even trying to steal from each other?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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You are giving me your theories and here is the reality. By being better off we are able to help our families who are poor and LMC. It gives us happiness to be able to throw money at their problems and also at some of our problems that money can solve. I am happy I can fix a faulty heater/ac in my home in a timely manner, I am happy that I can afford some extracurriculars for my kids, I am happy that we can go on a decent family vacations which cost money and which provide great memories, I am happy I can just order winter boots for all family from Zappos instead of shlepping around discount stores or buying second hand, I am happy when we go to a restaurant for a family meal and when DH and I go on a date and when I am tired to walk and take subway and I can afford a cab ride, and when I am hungry and can afford to stop off for a meal or grab a coffee. I am happy I don't have a long commute, I am happy we live in a safe neighborhood and my kids go to a good public school. I am happy I can afford to buy them bikes and buy them ski and ice-skate lessons in the winter. I know I should not feel happy given these shallow materialistic things, something must be wrong with me for wanting these things, these little luxuries, because you are right, affording more things or having certain conveniences should never make anyone happy. I know the answer. The reason these little things make me happy is because I grew up WITHOUT them and often wanted them. Now if I can just have all these things, not a private jet or a Hamptons house, not being able to drop millions at a Gala, just these little things an not have to work for a living at a job I hate, I would be even happier. Now tell me what's wrong with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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some people are also arguing themselves into a corner where you need vast wealth just to have financial security, and you need financial security to have any hope of happiness. therefore, in their deluded minds, only the rich have a shot at happiness. therefore you are stupid if you don't marry for money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:30 PM Flag
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Financial security is very real and you do need a lot more these days because basic things like housing and medical care are very expensive and are getting only more expensive with every year. I think we all have different definitions of what vast wealth represents. For someone it's 1 mil, for someone it's 10 mil, for someone it's 100 mil and for someone it's 1 billion+. It's not what's relevant, what's relevant is the fact that there is a certain threshold at which basic needs are met and there is another threshold at which some nice conveniences and a few luxuries can be had, and yet another threshold for more luxury and unlimited conveniences. The poor must work just to meet the 1st threshold. The MC/UMC work for a second threshold and the rich work and invest to have the 3rd. Then there is another group of uber rich individuals that work for the ultimate threshold, the one that buys you real power, political power, power over others and over resources - perhaps power to decide the fate of civilization and its development. Each of the categories meeting their different thresholds of wealth struggle and may be disgruntled in their own way to get to the next level. Some people are content where they are. Majority of people would be content meeting threshold 2 where not only very basics but also a few little pleasantries, luxuries and conveniences can be had and would be thrilled if they didn't have to work to get there or to keep it. I would argue that 1st world civilization should provide access to 1st threshold without requirement to work, so that people work for 2nd. 3rd, 4th threshold, depending on their desires and ambition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:30 PM Flag
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Exactly, you describing the circumstances that can certainly lead to happiness in some individuals who are not otherwise prone to mental disease or mood disorders and whose unhappiness is primarily caused by financial stress and daily grind and anxiety about future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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I know, late to the party and surprised this discussion hasn't devolved into UB's favorite topic SAHM vs. WOHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone re-applying their DC for 1st grade to a school they were rejected from last year for K? Or did everyone find a place they’re happy with, even if it wasn’t their TC? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:52 PM Flag
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I would not waste time doing that, unless you were told dc was too young last year (in which case it would have been WL not a rejection). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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I've heard of happy endings like this but reality is there are usually only 1-2 slots at first grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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Wrong. Totally depends on the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I need a pep talk. My DS is in high school and is not a strong student and probably never will be. Please tell me he'll get into college and there is light at the end of this tunnel. I feel like there is no place in the world for these average kids that are late bloomers. Sigh. Thanks for listening. 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:48 PM Flag
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Your child will do fine in life. He needs to live in a city where literally anyone can get a job and where you can buy a house in a good school district for 200k if he lives in an expensive city he will be despondent and may turn to dugs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:52 PM Flag
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Sorry, may turn to drugs. I have seen it happen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:52 PM Flag
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NP here. You are totally nutso. How you go from someone not being a strong student to 'he'll need to live in a city where literally anyone can get a job' and 'he may turn to drugs' is beyond me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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You are not well imformed. Manhattan is very competitive and boys like him that move to Manhattan feel like losers. In a 4t city he will feel good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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You need to get outside your narrow little circle. There are all sorts of young people in NYC who were 'average' academically. I feel sorry for your kids if you don't have the judgement and perspective to see this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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Wrong. There is a serious correlation between IQ and wealth in Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:05 PM Flag
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Talk to all the people in minimum wage jobs then talk to the people making more than 600k per year. Huge genetic difference in intelligence between the two groups [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:06 PM Flag
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So what? Who said anything about IQ? We're talking about happiness. There are young people working in artistic fields here in NYC who make very little money and are very happy (including some of my nieces). How ironic that the IQ troll seems to be unable to make a cogent argument. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:09 PM Flag
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You are wrong. Living in ny without money makes people sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:12 PM Flag
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Ok, got it. You're one of those people who are not very smart, but still quite sure of yourself. Go ahead and believe what you want to believe, my sad UB poster, and I'll continue to believe what I hear from my family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:17 PM Flag
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There are many other factors affecting minimum wage workers other than poor academic achievement. A kid who is an average student is only going to be offered or capable of minimum wage work - is that what you're implying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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You are an ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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+++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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Freak [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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Academic achievement doesn't bear much relationship to career success in most fields. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:52 PM Flag
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Totally wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:53 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:53 PM Flag
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And college major doesn't bear much relationship to where people end up 20 years later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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Despite what UB says, there is much more to life than where you go to college. My BIL and his friends went to a meh small liberal arts college (which I won't name for fear of outing myself). They are all doing great and happy now. He was never a great student, but is happy now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:53 PM Flag
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My cousin switched from junior college to UCLA and became a VP at Goldman Sachs. Didn't get into 4 year schools initially. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:53 PM Flag
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My DH finished near the bottom of his class, went to a not great school, and ultimately dropped out of college. He went back to college years later and now runs a large division of a bank. He makes way more money (and loves his career more) than I or anyone in my family does (and we were all top of our class). It took him awhile to find his way but I think that time made him understand what he likes and what he's good at. For you, it is stressful right now but high school does not set your life's course in stone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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Only on UB would you get the idea that an average child is a failure. There are millions more places for "average" people in the world than for "exceptional" people; he just needs to find what he's good at and enjoys and become the best whatever that is that he can be. Maybe it's a technical program. Maybe something non-traditional. He'll find his way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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Bullshit. A book was published saying how average boys are acrwed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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Lots of books get published, dear. And you are "acrwed." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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op: DO you know the name of the book? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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AVERAGE IS OVER [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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Well if a book said it, then it must be true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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Who makes more money, a plumber or a French professor? Take into account the fancy undergrad degree and the years of grad school, plumber is way ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:57 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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My bro was a terrible student, went to the SUNY that accepted kids with the lowest grades/scores, barely graduated. worked for a few years and then aced the GREs (with a lot of studying) got a masters and now makes more then anyone in our family [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:06 PM Flag
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Your child will be FINE. Don’t go down the rabbit hole. Enjoy your limited time together and find a college that is the perfect match. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:06 PM Flag
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op: Thanks for your post. IRL I know plenty of ppl that are very average and are well adjusted and doing fine but honestly, everywhere I turn - if you're not an A student you're out of luck to do anything productive /successful with your life. Makes me sad for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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You can buy into anything you want. But I’m not interested in buying into what you post above. No need to be sad if that’s what you choose to believe about life... Kaimi? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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KWIM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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Most kids in college are pretty average, in spite of UB pretensions. He might even find something else he wants to do that has nothing to do with college - and will still be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:17 PM Flag
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Very true. Also omitted from this discussion is the role of effort in academic success (or any success for that matter). Maybe your son doesn't care that much about school. Perhaps after he leaves school he'll find something he loves and will work hard at it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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My gf's ds was an average hs student (his sister was a superstar). He wound up doing really well in college and is currently a doctoral candidate at Columbia. Don't despair! FWIW, my ds is an underachiever in hs as well. He may turn things around but if not there are definitely colleges for dcs like him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:28 PM Flag
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OP: Nice to hear. TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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He will be fine. He can go to a good state school like Penn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Which H&M in the city has the best kids clothes? I’m looking for girls. TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:46 PM Flag
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Not very good quality. Kinda like KMart. Zara has better style, but more expensive. Also check out Uniqlo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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I know what it is. I’m asking which location has the best selection. I think the quality is just fine for my 5yo to wear to school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:25 PM Flag
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I think the quality is good. Sizes can be all over the place but the construction of cotton items is good--thick and substantial. And pants are well-made. Old Navy stuff seems like it was made in a trainee class by comparison. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Did your building turn on the heat this weekend? I live in Glenwood building and they are refusing to turn the heat on. 311 complaints submitted but not sure what other options I have as a resident. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:32 PM Flag
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Coop did briefly on Saturday morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:34 PM Flag
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same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:44 PM Flag
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My apartment did, but my work building didn't. According to the maintenance guy here, they have to manually do something to switch our units over to heat. It's freezing in my office. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:34 PM Flag
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Put on a sweater. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:37 PM Flag
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So you pay thousands in rent to walk around in sweaters and socks at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:44 PM Flag
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NP these posts kill me...I own a freaking HOUSE so I can control things like heat, AC, hot water, etc...not some landlord or building manager. LOL at all of you. I knew kids in the projects growing up and the city controlled their heat...you're no better off for $6,000 a month than they were for $90. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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You sound angry and jealous. It's ok we understand you cannot afford to live in manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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And freeze? Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:19 PM Flag
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Could but choose not to. I like to live where I control the thermostat, moron. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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Whats wrong with wearing socks and sweaters? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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The period between October 1 and May 31 is Heat Season. During this time, the City requires building owners to provide tenants with heat according to the following rules: Between 6 AM and 10 PM, if the outside temperature falls below 55 degrees, the inside temperature must be at least 68 degrees Fahrenheit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:37 PM Flag
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^^it is 65 degrees outside in NYC right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:38 PM Flag
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It was not 65 on Saturday or Sunday. And the temp is dropping again tonight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:43 PM Flag
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Get a blanket. The heat will come on this week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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May 31st? AC goes on by mid May and stays on till mid October. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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I just turned ours on today (Brodsky building) and it finally works. Heaven. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:37 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:40 PM Flag
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No, thank goodness. Windows still open here. Building will probably turn over the system this week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:45 PM Flag
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Seriously? We had the AC on, live in a house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:49 PM Flag
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Nope. I still need the AC on low at night though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:51 PM Flag
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They will turn it on now that Hunter released scores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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I’m on a Glenwood and they turned ours on. I hate it because it makes it so dry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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I really cannot stand Glenwood management - the worst incompetent staff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:05 PM Flag
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they are not great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:08 PM Flag
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I hate it too hot: open your windows! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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I live in a NYC apartment building and we turn on our heating units maybe 5 times over the course of the winter. I find it hard to believe your apartment is cold inside. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:21 PM Flag
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It's probably the people who think it's normal to keep temp at 76. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:22 PM Flag
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No it is 75 degrees out here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Baselayers? Come on, folks!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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No, I put on a sweater. Thank you, Jimmy Carter! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:01 PM Flag
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You're showing your age. Things were simpler then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:45 PM Flag
[ - ] I just have to voice this somewhere - I'm so inlove with a married man. He started pursuing me months ago, just texting, then calling then wanting to hang out and grab lunch. He hasn't crossed the line at all, but its so hard because he is everything I'm looking for. His wife lives in another state and just comes to visit and they've only been married for a year (very odd situation I don't fully understand). I fantasize about him all of the time and want to tell him how I feel -- but then suddenly he stopped contacting me, then last week I passed his wife on the street - so I know she is in town. This weekend he suddenly text me asking to meet up and then said I could meet his wife... I felt weirdly uncomfortable and I wish she would go back to her state so I can spend time with him again! 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:28 PM Flag
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he sounds like a great guy! Dont forget, when a man marries his mistress he creates a vacancy in the position [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:30 PM Flag
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op i know i know lol... I don't think he's going to do anything physically - but I miss just even talking to him every day. He's very interesting and inspiring (but also very attractive) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:31 PM Flag
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Men love to burn through a woman's prime. You are giving him the best gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:33 PM Flag
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op I haven't given him anything -- I haven't even told him how I feel and these days I hardly hear from him. Nothing happened between us, he just was texting/calling me all of the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:35 PM Flag
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You've given him your attention and mental energy even when he is not there. You are restricting yourself from other options based on the fantasy of him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:38 PM Flag
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op I'm not restricting myself.. I just went out on a date with some other guy this weekend - but honestly no one checks off every box on my list but this guy which is frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:41 PM Flag
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Is "legally and physically unavailable" on your "list," you dumb bunny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:43 PM Flag
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op I've said a million times I haven't done anything with him nor has he with me. He mentioned he found me attractive but that was it. I'm respecting the boundries.. all I'm saying is if he wasn't married he would be everything I want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:47 PM Flag
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Well he IS married so get the fuck over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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you must be insecure about your husband. she can have a crush on who ever she likes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:03 PM Flag
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He did cross the line the first time he called you. Does a sneaking cheater fit in your list of everything you want in a man? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:31 PM Flag
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op -- I admit I was surprised when he first called him "just to talk" and we talked for hours.. I still don't understand what it's all about. He doesn't seem like he wants to actually cheat on his wife. Maybe it started to seem to me like more than it was? I dont know. I do think about him a lot lately though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:32 PM Flag
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It's about having you "in his power." The more you can demonstrate that you are affected by him, the larger his ego swells. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:35 PM Flag
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If you were married to him and he was doing this, you would certainly consider it cheating. Stop lying to yourself. This is not a prize package. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:20 PM Flag
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op good lord married women! I'm not lying to myself and I'm not involved with him in any way I'm just saying I think about him a lot and have sexual feelings towards him. Thats it. Nothing has happened, or will happen between us. I know he is married, he knows he is married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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He wants a threesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:31 PM Flag
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op haha this is what my co worker said! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:33 PM Flag
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This. Many years ago, I was taking a grad class, evenings, after work. Classmate was a devastatingly handsome newlywed guy who happened to take same subway I did, would suggest we study together, talk about assignments over lunch, etc. Over a few weeks, it got very flirty if not quite inappropriate, and one night after class several of us went out for a drink...his wife was conveniently at the same bar...he introduced us, she looked me up and down and said she'd heard so much about me, etc., stuck to me all night and eventually positioned me in between herself & him, slid her hand around my waist and asked me if I'd go home with them...she'd given him the assignment to find them a "friend"... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:36 PM Flag
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She'd do anything to keep that handsome husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:38 PM Flag
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I didn't and FWIW they got divorced about three years into the marriage...b/c he was cheating (not with me). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:44 PM Flag
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op wow! well unfortunately i dont find the wife attractive... haha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:40 PM Flag
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How predatory! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:41 PM Flag
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It was gross. And made the rest of the class awkward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:44 PM Flag
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op yikes!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:48 PM Flag
[ - ] We are applying to private school for K for our first DC. I'd love some insight on Ethical vs. Fieldston Lower (beyond than one is on the UWS and the other in Riverdale). How did you decide between the two when applying, is one "easier" to get into, any differences in the admissions standards/academics/overall experience? Thank you! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:27 PM Flag
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FL has half as many slots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:32 PM Flag
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Would this mean that there’s a better shot at Ethical? Or is it the same because fewer parents want FL? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:15 PM Flag
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EC generally harder to get into from a number of apps versus spots. EC only takes 36 kids for K and has more legacies. FL has a very small number of spots but also expands class size in 1st so that is another entry. (but still small numbers) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:23 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you, this is helpful. We are not legacy, not connected and really just thinking about how to maximize our DC's chances. EC and FL both are so popular on the UWS (where we live). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:59 PM Flag
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The biggest difference is the community. Do you want to be involved and get to know the community? FL is a commuter school and parents just don't socialize the way they do at EC. EC has a number of family and student events and it's just easier for most people to get there than it is to go to RIverdale during the day or night. Both are lovely schools and all come together in 6th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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FL mom here this hasn’t been our experience [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 AM Flag
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EC is less diverse in terms of socio-economics and race/ethnicity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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FL is not any more diverse, it is small and mostly faculty kids, in some grades anyway. Though overall they are both more diverse than average NYC private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:06 PM Flag
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They both have URMs in spades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:15 PM Flag
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What are URMs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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What are spades? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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At EC it's more Asian, Indian and mixed race families. At FL there are more LatinX and AA families. EC still majority white but many forms of diversity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:21 PM Flag
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FL is more socio-economically diverse, that is a fact. The percent of kids receiving FA is much greater at FL than it is at EC. This is information available to all parents at the schools. In part, it's driven by their locations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 PM Flag
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True [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:03 AM Flag
[ - ] If one of your direct reports constantly misspells your name, wwyd? In my case it’s Elisabeth, with an S but she always spells it Elissabet. Wth? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:18 PM Flag
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I'd note it once politely in an email and ask her to check her autocorrect and after that if it continued I'd take whatever action you think it appropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:23 PM Flag
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I did and if it were me, I would respond to the email and apologize. She did not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:30 PM Flag
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Are you the type of manager who points out every obvious thing and emails everyone so much they ignore you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:44 PM Flag
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ask them? myabe they have a sister that spells it differently [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:24 PM Flag
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Is she ESL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:26 PM Flag
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She was born abroad but grew up here. Either way, it doesn’t matter because even if my boss’s name were Czernowrski or whatever complicated spelling, this would be the first thing - memorize how to spell your boss’s name. I have done that in every job I ever had. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:29 PM Flag
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Calm down, Liz. I wasn't making an excuse for her, just asking a question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:38 PM Flag
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You know what? If she called me Liz or Elizabeth with a Z, I would be fine. But Elissabet? Seriously? That’s not a name in any language! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:41 PM Flag
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LOL ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:44 PM Flag
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It’s like spelling the name Jennifer as Janifaaah! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:45 PM Flag
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Or Janiffir [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O below redshirting post - DH debating taking job in NYC area next year. We have a DS born in early August. Does that mean he would be one of the oldest in his class, or one of the youngest? Birthday cutoff here is Jan 1 and few people redshirt - I can't wrap my head around the actual cutoffs vs. 'holding back' discussed below. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:13 PM Flag
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varies private and public. which one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:15 PM Flag
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Not sure we're ready to take on the whole private debate but I guess it will depend. Are they different cutoffs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:17 PM Flag
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public is jan 1 - dec 31. private is aug-july, but seems to be fuzzy for summer boys from what people say. but if summer boy does not like spot following year and need to go public - they get put directly into 1st grade since public based birth yr. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:21 PM Flag
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public in nyc does not permit redshirting - based birth yr [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:22 PM Flag
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Yes. Public schools have cut off Dec 31st. So, your kid will be 5 when entering K in a public school and more in the middle of the pack when it comes to age, as there are many kids with Fall bdays entering K at age 4. Most private schools have cut off in Sep, so you could send your kid to K at the age of 5 and DC will be the youngest. But you also can have an option to redshirt Aug DC and enter K at the age of 6 and DC will be one of the oldest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:23 PM Flag
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Yes, public he would be near the middle given a 12/31 cutoff. Private he will be pushed into the next year and enter K as one of the oldest in Sep 2024. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] It's a good think when a person says I'm into you. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:09 PM Flag
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That's how they said I love you in Jumanji 2 !!!!!! EXACTLY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Where do people find pt after school sitters and caretakers? I need someone pt who can pick up and take home a few days a week. I went to care.com but hardly anyone responded. Ideas? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:01 PM Flag
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sittercity [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:22 PM Flag
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Aren't these sites mainly for random babysitters, not a permanent PT nanny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:24 PM Flag
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OR: No, I found a regular pt afterschool sitter on sittercity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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What are their rates all in per hour? I mean with taxes included. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:57 PM Flag
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Local college [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:21 PM Flag
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Neighborhood FB group/listserv, referrals from other moms [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:27 PM Flag
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College Sitters.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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NYU or Columbia job boards. Have hired every year this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] High school question. We're not in NY, so this isn't about the usual schools discussed on UB. What would be better for college admissions-- a more competitive high school where the student will be middle of the pack, or a less competitive high school where she'll likely be one of the top students? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:56 PM Flag
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There are a lot of "it depends" there. A top student from a less competitive school in Arkansas probably has edge over the same kid/school from Mass if you're talking about the East Coast. But ultimately a strong student will get in to a decent school. You may not be boosting their chances at a tippy top school by paying the big bucks for private if they end up middle-of-the-pack but it could still be a good decision for them to get that education and a middle kid from strong private will have some good options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:00 PM Flag
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Colleges know which is which and take things into consideration accordingly. My kids go to a very competitive public charter school which does not offer AP classes but colleges know its curriculum is extremely challenging and its standards are very high...so a B+ average at their school counts for a lot more in the eyes of an admissions committee than a B+ avg at the town wide regular public high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:00 PM Flag
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They will do better in college at the better HS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:05 PM Flag
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my dad interviews for one of the lower tier ivies in a flyover state. he said there are only 15 or so high schools in the whole state that this school takes students from. if you don't go to one of these, you are out of luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:06 PM Flag
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But that is correlation, not necessarily cause and effect. Kid who does very well on SATs likely to get into magnet HS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:10 PM Flag
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not a place where there are magnet high schools. just zoned by town along with some privates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:21 PM Flag
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It's a lot more complicated than that, you need to know what kind of kid you have, does the school nurture any particular talent they have? Will choosing one school be a hardship on the family due to distance or expense? My in-laws busted their asses to send my SIL to a 60k a year prep school and she ended up going to St. Lawrence. She may as well have just stayed at public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:19 PM Flag
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Depends on your child and what environment he/she needs to academically thrive. Some kids are very competitive and need a strong peer group to motivate them, they like comparing themselves to others and will push themselves to achieve higher ratings. If peer group is not very strong, they will sail without effort to the top and become lazy and unmotivated and eventually will slide. Others don't like competitive environment and can shut down if they are constantly measured against others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:28 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:48 PM Flag
[ - ] When and how often are boys with birthdays between January and August "held back" in their last year of private preschools in Manhattan with a view to having better admissions chances for private Kindergarten the following year? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 10.15.18, 05:56 PM Flag
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Do you mean June thru August? Never heard of January boys being held back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:59 PM Flag
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Almost all July and August boys. Most June boys. A smattering of April and May boys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:01 PM Flag
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This is correct. In fact most July and August girls are also held back these days. And not by the parents, by the ongoing schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:16 PM Flag
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April?! That’s too old... for sure, May. And I wouldn’t even bother applying for July and Aug. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:13 AM Flag
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I'm so confused by this. So does that make May 30 the real cutoff? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:18 PM Flag
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For boys, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:29 PM Flag
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July 1 for girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:48 PM Flag
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You got it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:36 PM Flag
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You don't get to make this decision. You apply, the schools decide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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You can save yourself the time and energy by not applying with young August boy. BTDT, complete waste of time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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The responses here are mostly correct, but it's complicated. Hill schools don't hold back. SS schools tend to hold back, especially boys, but it's still case-by-case. For an August boy, most people will say don't bother applying. Even for the Hill schools, they won't hold back, but he probably won't get in. For June/July, most people will tell you to apply and see what the schools say. For May and earlier, you need to apply. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:24 AM Flag
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UNIS doesn't hold back either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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2 DS in the June-Aug range. Neither were held back and both accepted at multiple co-ed TT. Depends on the child's maturity and ability to separate and play independently. I found when I asked the school directly during the application process whether they had a preference for summer boys, I usually got an honest answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:47 PM Flag
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Sometimes that's the explanation, and sometimes it's "emotional immaturity". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:47 PM Flag
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Even the most mature summer kid (July/August) has virtually no shot for K admissions. Siblings are being told to wait a year without being seen at all. Most school do take younger kids for 6th or 9th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 PM Flag
[ - ] my mom has mild dementia and i'm having trouble finding services that would be appropriate for her. the dementia day programs seem to be more for working class people (activities include bingo, shuffleboard etc). Nothing wrong with that, but my mom loves opera and has multiple degrees. It seems like programs have a one-size fits all approach, and they assume that all old people like bingo. Is there an assumption that people with more resources don't use dementia day programs? Anyone BTDT? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:53 PM Flag
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I would think people would use what's in their area so if she's in a mixed income area, she would see people of all backgrounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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she lives in a midsize city with a big university presence. there are only two dementia day programs and the other one is run by the Salvation Army, so that's not going to be any better for her. I don't get where all the retired faculty are. She can't be the only one who outlived her spouse and needs more socialization in her day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:59 PM Flag
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That might be an issue because don’t most people who work and study at these universities young? Is there a significant amount of elderly, educated people? I would think most educated people there are young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:12 PM Flag
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If she has more resources, can she pay for private caregivers to go with her to do the things she likes? I think any program is going to be trying to address a wide span of dementia levels regardless of social class. That’s going to limit what they can do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:35 PM Flag
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My father is in a memory care at a facility that also has assisted living. They are always taking trips to book readings, theater, restaurants, etc. But they residents and not day campers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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+1 My FIL is also in something like this. 1st he went to the clinic, but now he's a resident. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:06 PM Flag
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My mom has 24/7 care. It’s very expensive but luckily she has the resources. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:05 PM Flag
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A friend of mine in NYC works with elderly in the same situation as your mom... she's essentially a Victorian paid companion who comes in a couple of times a week. Maybe you can find someone like that where you live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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This. The more well off have paid companions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:37 PM Flag
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Audiobooks, podcasts, online art history class [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Colonoscopy tomorrow. Anyone been through colon cancer or surgery? Just trying to prepare if the news is bad. TIA 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:44 PM Flag
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OMFG...hasn't your doctor spoken with you about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:46 PM Flag
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No because I assume she is hoping nothing is wrong and doesn't want to scare me... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:49 PM Flag
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Because the chances that everything is fine are OVERWHELMING [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:54 PM Flag
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If you have family hx and sx then your MD should have given you preliminary information about possible outcomes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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Why would doctor go through the details of colon cancer or surgery with every patient? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:51 PM Flag
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The doctor would advise every pt that if any polyps are found during the colonoscopy, they'll be removed during the procedure and then biopsied. WHY on earth is OP planning for bad news? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:54 PM Flag
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Because I have symptoms that I've had for a while and I have a family history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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And then therefore you know at least one person who has had and been treated for colon cancer, yes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:02 PM Flag
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OP: You are very confident/arrogant for someone with such a small grasp of the possible breadth of human experience. Why are you so invested in this? I said below, it was my grandfather, it was over 50 years ago and I didn't talk to him about it (and I wasn't born the first time and the second time was like 9 years old.). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:04 PM Flag
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And ... now we all hope you have colon cancer. No need to be such a bitch, we're not all psychic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:10 PM Flag
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I just don't get how someone doesn't realize that a family history does not mean you went through it with the person or know them or have them here today. If anything they might have died of the cancer! This person doubled down on their insistence on this in two responses here. Thanks for your good wishes. I have never actually felt like someone literally cursed me before your comment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:11 PM Flag
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^ and the way they put "yes?" at the end of each of these comments and even all caps on "PERSONALLY" below. It's just amazingly combative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:12 PM Flag
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The op states below she has family hx and sx therefore the MD should have given her preliminary info about outcomes and options. That's why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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OP: The MD thinks maybe I just need to eat more fiber but definitely get tested. I don't think she wants to get into what happens if something is not fine. She did say polyps would be biopsied. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:02 PM Flag
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BECAUSE SHE HAS NO TIME TO LECTURE YOU ABOUT STUFF THAT IS NOT REAL YET. The internet exists for you to scare yourself as much as you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:10 PM Flag
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I'm fine with what she told me, just want to hear from anyone who has been through this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:13 PM Flag
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Have anal the day after with DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:47 PM Flag
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Yeah no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:49 PM Flag
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No, thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:52 PM Flag
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i thought they were moving away from routine colonoscopies in favor of less invasive stool tests. If no family history, why are you getting this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:51 PM Flag
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I have a family history and symptoms. 44. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:52 PM Flag
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I had a colonoscopy due to family history and symptoms, i was FINE but they did remove some precancerous polyps and i go back in 5 years. VERY grateful for early testing. (I was 45 when I did it). Actual procedure a total nothing but I admit I was very nervous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:56 PM Flag
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So, if you have a family hx, one can infer YOU PERSONALLY know at least one person who has had/been treated for colon CA, yes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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Wow, why would you think that? It was my grandfather, he was treated in 1962 and again after a recurrence in maybe the 1980s. He died in 2000. I assume there have been some advances since his treatment even if I had had the foresight to ask him before he died when I was 26... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:59 PM Flag
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Wow, you are really insufferable. Have a good day, fuck you and your thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:11 PM Flag
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np: I have no family history or symptoms, and my dr. is insisting on a routine colonoscopy. She claims the stool tests are not accurate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:11 PM Flag
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I have no family history and only slight symptoms and have colon cancer. I say get the test. I had surgery on Friday. They think they caught it all. I am 32. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:04 PM Flag
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Yes, I just went through it all in 2016-2017. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP: How are you now? how was it? Was it disruptive to your life for a long time? I hope you are fully recovered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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Read bio of Sam Taylor-Wood/Taylor-Johnson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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Both parents had. I was told by doctors that this is one of the 'better' cancer to get. Very high survival rate. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Interviewed for a professional job 2 weeks ago Wednesday. The interviewer, a managing director of the business, told me she would get back to me Friday. I sent a follow-up thank you email on Friday and she responded saying I would hear from her early the next week. The next week came and went without any email. I assume this means someone else got the job offer but is this the new normal now? Someone takes 3 hours out of their life to interview for a job, and you don't even get a two-line email advising they did not get the job? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:43 PM Flag
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This has been the normal since the 90s, maybe longer. Let it go. Move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 05:47 PM Flag
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It could go either way, but for my own sanity, I have decided not to get too invested in any job - just do your best and go to he interview, and see what happens. I learned it the hard way, i was jerked around by a company for months, after I had written them off after 2 months of silence, i got a phone call that their now making a decision, and I will hear from them. Of course no one informed me of any decision - I called and emailed and was then told no. This was over a period of almost 9 months. Just recently, for fun, I read their Glassdoor reviews as another job there got on my LinkedIn feed. They got all 1-2 star reviews, really critical of management etc. Also they’re being bought out by a fund. I am so glad I didn’t end up there... To top it off, my would be boss asked me whether I think I will ever find another job.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:25 PM Flag
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^ and now I have a new job plus 3 additional offers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:26 PM Flag
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^^ sorry for all the typos, it’s a long story and I am typing on my phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:36 PM Flag
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^^ sorry for all the typos, it’s a long story and I am typing on my phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:36 PM Flag
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Idiot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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New to the world? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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