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[ - ] I don't even know why doctors bother with these rapid flu tests. Every single time I or one of my kids has gotten a positive, it's a very faint positive and the doctor doesn't seem to know for sure if it's valid. Happened with my 7 month old son last week and doctor treated it as flu. Now I feel unwell, and doc said the line didn't look "very impressive" and it's probably just another virus. I guess it doesn't matter either way, except I could be spreading flu to everyone in my office right now. And I'm not going to leave because I was out most of last week due to my son. If I knew it was the flu, I'd leave. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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Do you think all the plaintiff lawyers' advertising pays for itself? It is a CYA test. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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I remember those days. DH and I hadn't been sick for years, then boom! We caught everything. I will never forget the time I sat on a bench in the Court Street subway station. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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Did you have a little kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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my pediatricians office doesnt give them, but my own dr does. supposedly not very accurate, but its all we have. who knows. honestly im annoyed that my child cant be tested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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It’s not all that exists. There is a PCR test with much higher sensitivity and specificity with turnaround time of 90 min. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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ER doctor. I agree. The rapid tests are crap. We use the PCR which takes about 90 minutes. However, if you or close contacts are not in a high risk population, the evidence behind Tamiflu is weak at best, and I’d argue it’s often not worth testing for. Treatment is supportive. Of course, public health types do like to track this stuff, but that’s not really patient oriented care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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You’d leave if you knew it was the flu, as opposed to whatever awful virus that’s making you feel like crap right now? Go home already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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Either way, you are infecting your office with something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Did you get flu shot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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OP - No. I usually get it, but was on maternity leave when employer gave them last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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you should have gone to Rite Aid. its covered 100% by insurance, takes 2 minutes. i say this because i didnt get the shot one year, i got the flu and it was terrifying and awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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Why not just get a shot and get your kids the shot (unless they are allergic)? How often does this happen? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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you can still get it, a different strain, when u have the shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I have two kids in college and one in 10th grade. Been divorced since they were toddlers. Exdh is taking the 10th grader to a robotics competition this weekend. This is the first time in 20 years he has ever taken any of the kids anywhere and/or showed any interest in their school. I had to ask DC ten times if what I heard is true!!! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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Does ex have a new GF? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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OP: I think he's been seeing this woman for about a year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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His only son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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OP: No oldest child is a boy also [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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Mine finally started this this year. It's like he woke up and realized that dc is actually growing up. He brought her and the girlfriend to Disney three times this year. Three. Times. He's a giant child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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Then again so is his girlfriend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Who here has received feedback from their preschool director for private K apps? If so, which school(s)? Thanks! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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GL! Went through this last year. Have you heard anything? It's so sucky the way this consumes one's mind. I remember all too well! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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not yet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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Dalton - no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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Ah, we had that too. Dalton gives early feedback, esp when negative. Just know it is not indicative of how other schools felt about DC! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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Going to be devastated if we hear the same from the next one on our list! No connections anywhere. Are we just completely screwed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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No! If you applied to schools that are not as hard to get into, you will be fine. What's next on the list? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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Friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I date a guy who lives in on the second floor of 2 family with his ex de & 2 kids on the first floor? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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No you should not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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Bensonhurst? It should be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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No f'in way. That has bat shit crazy written all over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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All other things being equal, probably not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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God no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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If you have to ask.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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FWIW, DH's ex lives in the apartment across the hall, and we all get along well - but they weren't living that near each other when DH and I met and started dating. Shortly after we got married, DH inherited some money, and he used it to buy two apartments, one for us and the other for the ex to live in. We wouldn't have done it if we weren't already getting along really well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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that's awesome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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Actually, I think that is a sign he is a really good dad. Unless you object to someone with kids, I would consider it really strong evidence he wants to be close to his kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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i agree. also, whats your deal? are you 28, never been married or do you have baggage too? if the former, of course not. start fresh with someone without kids. if not, and you dont plan to have more kids, consider it. although, if the kids are young, you may end up living upstairs with him, or be the evil woman who took them away.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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also, i was asking OP, lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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That may be but he's not good dating material [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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Only if he’s Mick Jagger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone lease a car through their own company? Is the tax write off worth it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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When applying to IV, how to determine if we qualify to FA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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Yes, and we will see when I get my return back from my CPA. It did last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Monday! College financial aid mom in the house. AMA. 78 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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I'm so sleepy. Will my child even go to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Is it true that we will be penalized for having money in 529? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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op - There's no such thing as being "penalized." You either have need or you don't. A 529 is considered a parental asset (even if it is in child's name). Parental assets are assessed at 5.64%, meaning if you have $100k in a 529, you have $5640 less need FOR THAT YEAR than if you did not have the 529. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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Do they count your home intjose calculations? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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op -- OK, some background: There are two FA forms that colleges base FA awards on. FAFSA and CSS Profile. Only about 200-250 undergrad schools use CSS Profile form. Those are the most generous schools. So, in answer to your question: Schools that use ONLY the FAFSA to determine FA do not include home equity in the FA calculation. Schools that use both FAFSA and CSS Profile: Most use home equity in the FA calculation. A few very generous CSS colleges do not use it. Some CSS colleges CAP the home equity they count at a multiple of your income. So, let's say your income is $100k, and the college caps HE at 1.2x income -- they will only count a max of $120k of your HE in the calculation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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TY for explaining that you either have need or not. I grew up working class and was the quintessential financial aid kid, receiving money from any local, state or federal pot designated for students as my need was so great. Still rankles me how some kids and parents would brag about sheltering assets in order to qualify for aid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Is there a basic formula for how much aid you can get based on income? Like if parents make 200K combined, can they expect 15% aid? 30%? None? If you make 70K combined is that the threshold for a full ride? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Federal Pell grant has a set formula (you can google the income eligibility formula), which for this school year is a max of $6,095. Also, the very generous schools that give full FA below certain income/assets are set criteria. For example, Princeton provides 100% scholarship to students from families that earn $65k or less. Other schools have different cut-offs. University of Michigan gives full ride to out-of-state families with income of $90k or less. There are asset limits on these as well. Best way to know how much aid you will get is to use a college's Net Price Calculator (NPC). Go on any college's financial aid page and click into the NPC. It will spit out a number specific to that college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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op -- Also, there is an asset-protection allowance. Varies by age of parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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np--Pell grant eligibility upper limit is is around 50K income, with most grant money going to families with under 20K income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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op -- yes -- it's for low-income families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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same np--Michigan gives a full ride to out-of-state students with family income under 90K and assets under 50K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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same np--Most aid is based on income and assets. I don't know why OP is telling you about Pell grants if you make 200K or even 70K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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Op -- I thought she was using those as examples. In any case, I want the answers to benefit all readers, not just the questioner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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also depends on number of kids. We make this but had only one kid and some savings and got nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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200K or 70K? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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200K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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op -- That would be correct. You would not generally get FA with one child in college and a $200k income unless there are extenuating circumstances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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Next year I will have two in college (hopefully.) One will be in school in the UK. Can we reapply for FAFSA aid for the one who goes here in the US? Currently not getting any aid. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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Of course. You can reapply every year. Having two in college increases your need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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thank you - wasn't sure if they would consider school in another country or not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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depends on the college. No harm in applying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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No, thanks. All information can be searched online or asked of someone who puts their name and face behind their assertions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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You are a jerk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Thank for checking in regularly. Very helpful! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Mondays, in general. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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What's the difference in 529 ownership if the account is in child's name or parent's name or a sibling's name? Wonder if we should transfer funds from child to me or her sister [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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If the parent is the owner of the 529 account, you can change the beneficiary. If the student is the owner, they control the account at age 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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Ty. For the FA purposes, is there a benefit for the parent or the student to own the account? E.g., for the distribution purposes, who's benefit is taxed higher? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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A 529 account is treated for FA purposes at 5.64% for a parent-owned or a student-owned account. The distribution is not taxed if used for qualified educational expenses (QEE). You already paid taxes on the principal when you earned it. The earnings on the principal are non-taxable. In about 30 states -- if you own your home state's 529 plan -- you can get somewhat of a tax deduction on STATE taxes in the year you contribute. It's different for every state. You have to read the rules for your state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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^^^ NY allows a state tax deduction on the NY 529 plan. NJ does not. However, if you live in NJ and work in NY you can own the NY plan and get a tax deduction on the NY taxes you pay for working in NY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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op -- Also note that if grandparent owns a 529 with child as beneficiary, the distribution is counted as student income -- unless you don't take a distribution from the grandparent 529 until second semester sophomore year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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Thanks. No GP here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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My DC was awarded merit money from a school EA. We are a Tuition Exchange family. How does this merit impact the TE or vice versa? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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I don't know much about tuition exchange. The rules might vary by college. You should ask the college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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NP: IME Tuition Exchange is a scam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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What happens to 529 if the owner dies? If I have 529 for both kids, they don't use it all in college and by their gad school I die, what will happen? Should I transfer the account after their college t their names? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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op -- I don't know. Ask your tax adviser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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^^That said, my assumption is that it would go to the named beneficiary, which is your child. But again, check with your financial adviser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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If I retire the year before my DC goes to college, how will my income be calculated? Will pension, 401k or Social Security be counted? If not, and my earnings below threshold (from let's say 0-$30k) would DC qualify for free tuition at schools that offer? Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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op -- Your income will be whatever is reported as income on your tax return. And BTW, for FA purposes, you report your income from two years before the academic year. If your kid starts college in fall fo 2020, the tax year 2018 is the year evaluated. Plus your current assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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*of 2020 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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np--Are you a single parent? Private colleges will look at the income and assets of both parents, whether married or not. Generally retirement funds are not included in assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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op -- It has nothing to do with public vs. private. The distinction is between colleges that require CSS Profile and those that require only the FAFSA. If parents are divorced, FAFSA-only colleges do not see financial information of the non-custodial parent. BTW, the definition of custodial and non-custodial for FA purposes is different that the court's definition (although in most cases they overlap). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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I have a 529 in my DD's name with about $25k. I contribute about $4,000 a year. Better to stop and open one in my name? Can I move from her name to mine? I did 529 for small NYS tax benefit but realizing having in her name is a bad idea. Thanks!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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op -- Depending on what state plan you are in, you might be able to request a transfer of ownership. Check with the plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:57 PM Flag
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But better to have in her name or mine? She is 12. HHI $175k. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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op -- Depends what you mean by "better." The owner has control. Owner of the account can change the beneficiary at any time. If the student is the owner, she'll have total control once she turns 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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NP I think this OR is confused. She thinks that it would benefit her for financial aid if she makes her dd NOT the beneficiary of the 529 account. (Her dd is not the owner if OR is getting the tax benefit.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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^^^ her question is really "should I keep my dd as beneficiary of the 529?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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Don't you have to be the owner of the account to get the tax benefit? Are you saying she is the beneficiary or she is the owner? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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We are considering fostering a teen (after our kids leave for college). IF we foster, and IF the foster child is able/ would like to go to college, would foster parents' assets matter? I've been presuming that a foster kid would be eligible for nearly full aid, but my husband worries that tuition would decimate our retirement savings. . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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op -- no foster parents are not responsible. there are special rules regarding foster children that I am not fully familiar with. It is a special category. FA forms ask if the student has been in the foster system. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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But do foster kids usually get near 100% aid at need blind schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:11 PM Flag
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op--I don't know all the foster child rules. But let me tell you this: "Need-blind" is an admissions term, not a FA term. It means that the admissions office does not consider financial aid in the admissions decision. The phrase you want is "meets 100% of financial need." A school can be need-blind but not meet 100% of financial need. Alternatively, a school can meet 100% of financial need, but not be need-blind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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New York State has a great program called HEOP(Higher Education Opportunity Project) for low income students. Some top school participate (Columbia, Vassar, Hamilton). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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^^^ Ooops, Vassar doesn't participate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Yes, many states have state programs. NYS also has TAP. Fed govt has SEOP for exceptionally needy kids. California has CalGrant. Also, there's the QuestBridge program which matches financially eligible students with participating colleges, and the student gets a full four-year ride. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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Maximum TAP aid is around 5K for very low income students--similar to Pell Grants. HEOP covers full college expenses--tuition, room and board-- with stipends for books and travel. (Some schools have loans as part of package.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:31 AM Flag
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op -- OK I just looked it up. Students in foster care at the time of applying to college are considered financially independent for financial aid purposes. So no parent income needs to be reported. Only student income, which obviously will be zero or very low. This is a reliable source of information. https://www.fastweb.com/financial-aid/articles/financial-aid-and-scholarships-for-foster-care-and-adopted-children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I'm interested in fostering an older child too. Where are you getting info about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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op -- As I said above, a foster child applies for financial aid as an independent. Parental (bio, foster, or otherwise) income is not required to be reported. Read the link I posted above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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Some states have free college tuition for kids in that state's foster care or adopted from that state's foster care. I think Florida is one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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If you’re divorced and DH left, has no relationship with DD, does his income count? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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op- See above regarding divorced parents. In sum: For schools that require ONLY the FAFSA form to apply for FA, only the custodial parent info is required. For schools that require both the FAFSA and CSS Profile (which is an additional, more extensive FA form), the non-custodial parent will have to fill out his own non-custodial CSS Profile form. The most generous colleges are the ones that require the CSS Profile. Colleges that only ask for FAFSA are not the most generous when it comes to financial aid. The only way you can get a waiver of the non-custodial CSS Profile is if you honestly have NO IDEA where the NC parent is, e.g., don't know who the bio father is, he fled and there's no contact for many years, et. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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FAFSA gave us a report saying EFC is $189,000. Is this for all 4 years total? Otherwise, something seems not right since college does not cost $189k per year, and that is almost our entire after tax income. Any thoughts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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op -- It's for one year. If you plugged in the numbers correctly, it just means you are a full-pay family. It does not mean that's how much you actually will pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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what does full pay family mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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op--Full pay means you don't earn enough to get any financial aid. You will pay the full cost of attendance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 04:57 AM Flag
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We make about $200K, don't own any property (we rent) and have no college savings account. We have put all our savings into retirement plans. Will we be eligible for any FA? TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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.. I Should add, we currently get 50% FA at NYC private. 2 KIDS, both parents work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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For sure you will not get 50% FA for college. Colleges expect you to pay 1/3 out of past income (that would be savings), 1/3 out of current income (out of pocket during years dc are in college), and 1/3 from future income (that would be loans). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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For a family that does not get FA. So they calculate whether this is possible ^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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op -- Depends on where you dc go to college. At the very most generous schools (think: princeton, yale, williams, amherst, swarthmore, harvard, stanford, etc) during the years that they are BOTH in college at the same time you might get a little something. That is, if you have very little or nothing in non-retirement assets and do not own a business or own rental property. State flagship colleges are full of students from families at your income level because you can afford to send dc there out of a combination of current income and some loans, but can't afford private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:02 AM Flag
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^^^op-- also note that whatever you contribute to retirement account in the years dc are in college is added back into your income for financial aid purposes. Although it is a tax deduction, it is not a deduction from your income for the purpose of calculating FA. So your income that FA is based on is greater than your taxable income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:04 AM Flag
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PP. Thanks. This is very helpful. DCs will be in college at the same time ( twins). We dont own any property (primary home is rental) and have very little (basically emergency funds in non- retirement assets. Your posts are super helpful. Thank you very much. I hope you stick around for another year as I learn more and have more questions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:45 AM Flag
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op -- good luck to you! How old are your twins? See if you can stat putting away a little money now. Open a 529 for each of them. Better to pay now and EARN interest, than to pay later (via loans) and PAY interest. With the maximum amount of student loans allowable (about $27k per student for four years) you will be paying about $600-$700/month in loan payments after graduation. Pay that amount NOW into a 529 and earn tax-free interest PLUS if live in a state that offers tax deductions, you will save some money on your state taxes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm on a ten day run of amoxicillin and I feel like it's affecting my mood, I am depressed. Is this a thing? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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Is that the antibiotic? If so, it messes up your whole system. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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sounds very scientific [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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Thanks, but damn it Jim, I'm a lawyer, not a doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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Antibiotics are very powerful and 10 days is a long course. When is the final dose? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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I'm about halfway through. Hate taking them but had a gum infection and periodontist insisted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Gum infections can be very serious. Try a probiotic, rest (yes, footie PJs) and as many fluids as you can tolerate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Yes, altering gut bacteria can affect brain function. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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Take probiotics, it will repopulate the bacteria in your gut and may help with other symptoms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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OP I am taking a bunch plus eating yogurt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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yes-You will feel better soon. Water! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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OP thanks, have been bad about it, will do better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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and extra rest, I feel like when your body is fighting an infection it is just run down all around [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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PP (probiotic & footies) - very good point, rest even though you think you may feel "fine". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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I had to take it (also for a gum issue) a few months back and I felt very crappy the entire time. Felt better within a day of ending the course. You're almost done! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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I was on a ZPack a few months ago and had to stop midway through- mainly because of stomach issues, but it was also making my anxiety 100 x worse than usual. Wasn't sure if it was in my head but maybe not.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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It seems an odd side affect for an antibiotic, but these are powerful meds. I had to stop taking Lipitor because it made me feel crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Going crazy waiting for K admissions feedback!!!! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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I remember this like it was yesterday and it was 4 years ago. Hang in there. It is almost over and it almost always works out the way it is supposed to work out. Even if it doesn't feel like that at the time. Good Luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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I don't know about the above, but I will say this: Kindergarten is not the end of the line. I know people who were really burned by the process (shut out, last choice, etc.), but their kids ended up in good spots later (middle school, high school) when the process is more about merit. There is definitely movement among the schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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Admissions are down, so you have that going for you. What are your favorites? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Applications, not admissions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Hoping for co-Ed k-12! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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Which ones? Or any of them? The happier you can imagine being with the largest number of schools, the better this will go for you. BTDT. At 6th choice and very very happy 4 years in! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Friends or Ecfs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Friends is not that hard to get into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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We applied to a "you will never get in" TT off year in elementary. Well, we did get in. Wished we had never applied and moved our children two years later. Take it all in stride. It all works out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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Wow! Why did you move them out? Was it too much pressure? Other issue? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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It's almost always HM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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Just hope you’re bonito in Brooklyn! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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*not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I have been married 20 years. We had a very rough patch 10 years ago (including emotional and physical affairs) but we managed to get past that. When I wake up in the morning, I can only think of how lucky I am. I love him (and I find him so f*ing hot). I know, CSB, but I wanted to share my happiness. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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That's nice. Glad you go past the affair(s). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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Thanks. I would have never thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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I get it. DH and I haven't slept in the same bed for years (sleep issues, everyone is more comfortable). He woke me up the other night and said "you wanna sleep with me?" I did, and it was very beautiful. TMI for a lot of people but it made me feel so good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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So he wasn't a serial cheater, just the once? Or was it you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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it was me, twice. it never happened before, and it has not happened since then. i hope i am not a serial cheater, because i do not want to be in that situation ever again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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i know :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Parents of kids who play sports: have you experienced coaches who are positive, fair and good role models? I am ready to pull my kids out of sports entirely because the dad- coaches are all crazy. I played sports my whole life and never experienced the negativity and humiliation that my 10 yo has received. 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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The coaches my kids deal with are professionals. Not always positive, but fair and good role models. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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We have a softball coach named Joe. Joe is the bomb. He really wants the girls to get better at what they do. Very Italian American old school guy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP: you’re making me jealous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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Don't be! There are plenty of tears (might be an age thing) but Joe snaps them out of it fast. He had children at the same school years ago and he gets called in to straighten things out. Sounds cliche but he's very much the Tom Hanks character in League of Their Own and the girls' personalities are similar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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Awww...how nice! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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Yes but they have mainly been paid coaches. Most dad coaches are crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Yes my son's coaches are both amazing athletes (and parents) who played in college and just have the long view of learning a sport [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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most soccer coaches have been great, but they are paid, and not parents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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We've seen a variety of dad/coach styles. Hardest ones are the dads who give their own kids (sons usually) a harder time than everyone else, I watch these things play out thinking they are sowing the seeds for their kid to hate sports. Right now my 12yo has a dad coach for basketball and previously soccer who is so awesome I wish he could be his coach for every single sport for the rest of his school career. I've seen this coach in a season with lots of wins (soccer) and lots of losses (basketball) and he is equally awesome. So it can be done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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Coach Dad (or Mom) or professional coach? I've found that as the kids get older and the programs are more professionally run, the coaching gets better. You may not want to pull your DC from organized sports entirely, but find a different program that hires real coaches, not parent volunteers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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It’s 2 dad coaches. One is a yeller and one makes really sarcastic and snide remarks about the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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Find a new program. Bad coaching can ruin a DCs enjoyment of the sport, regardless of whatever sport it might be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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Why do we tolerate abusive coaching? We would never tolerate it from teachers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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There is usually a paid coach who is great. Then there might be one or two dads (maybe even a mom) who help out and they are usually fine. I could see how some could be crazy though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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My ds has always had low confidence. He’s tried all everything. Basketball, karate, fencing, soccer. He discovered obstacle training (ninja warrior) and loved it. The best part is he has the best coach. I get having a positive role model that can help build confidence in your kid. Your last sentence hurts my heart a little, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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agree! my dc did karate for years when younger in the basement room of a Y, and the coach was just amazing. couldn't believe how good he was for such low fees we paid. dc didn't really end up wanting to pursue karate but went so long because of the coach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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My DD is in a sport - it’s not a team situation and she has mostly private lessons. Her coach still has to be fair because she has several girls in the same competitions. The coach is great (but not all are). What’s grating is some of the mothers who started talking about my DD when my DD overtook their DDs. It’s really strange and very uncomfortable. I have also seen one mother who sucks up very hard to the coach of our DDs. I don’t know whether she thinks she will get some special favors. Not sure... but very strange. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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^ dads are not at all involved. Moms can’t coach from the sidelines because they don’t understand the sport, so they gossip from the sidelines. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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That is annoying to you but is not damaging the kids the way OP's coaches are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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No, it’s not as damaging as DD has the support of her coach. I would try to stay away from weird parent coaches. Dads often get very involved. It’s really bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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We have had very very good luck. It’s not always fair but that’s a lesson in itself. We don’t do a lot of stuff with parent coaches. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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Avoid organizations that are parent-coached. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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My DH was my dd’s Soccer coach a few years ago. It was a volunteer position. They had to go to one training session and there is a handbook with a code of conduct they are supposed to follow. If there is a supervisor for these volunteers I’d considering reaching out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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OP- another mother did go the head of the club and he initially accused her of complaining about playing time. When she explained she was concerned about the negativity he said he would think about it and get back to her. This was a week ago and he never got back to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Right now he is thinking, if it is so bad, more parents would be complaining. Does your kids' dad see this and what does he think? I think having more parents complain to the head of the club (and not just moms who he may think are overly sensitive) would help. It is stupid but I think sexism is part of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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OP interesting perspective. DH just as angry but hasn’t complained. One dad got in a screaming match with one of the coaches after a game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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At that age, DD had parent volunteer. No one was negative. One blatantly favored her own kid, and my DD laughed and said her DD would find out in 7th grade, when they start with paid coaches that she had no talent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Can you give an example of what the coach does to your DC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Blames individual kids for losses, talks about kids behind their backs, that kind of thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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pull your kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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My kids don't play sports where Dads are the coaches. Join a professional team. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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Big, big bear hug. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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Very much involved in the baseball program in my town and I can tell you it's just a matter of luck. Some of the dads are great and encouraging, others are only there for their kids, others are over the top and want to win at all costs. It really does impact the sport and the kids views on it - which is unfortunate but is the reality when you're dependent on volunteers to keep the leagues running. The alternative is club sports which are generally professionally run. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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The good coaches are the ones who are paid to do it ... by high school they are good at what they do and they like to keep their jobs. The crazy parents are the volunteers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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My kid had a club hockey coach at age 12 who was really tough but he learned a lot and seriously developed his skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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tough seems fine! the above (gossiping, blaming, etc) seems not fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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there was blaming, punishments, and lots of cursing but by 12 the kids were not shocked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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At 12, they should be learning to take responsibility for their actions. If a kid is missing the play because they are daydreaming, they should be getting called out for it. 13 y/o DD's entire team was skating laps last week because they all played poorly the weekend before. Does it work? Probably not as well as the coaches might want, but that's what they do. As for the cursing - the DCs hear/say worse at school and on the bus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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Of course. DS is now playing college hockey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here do Keto? I'm trying it for first time. Advice appreciated! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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Please stop posting this! As well, please stop emailing this Keto nonsense to my inbox. How the heck did you even get my email. So frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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get off carbs fatty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Not me. I just want to lose a few lbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Bf seems to be occupied these days. Earlier I used to get angry over it. Now I have pulled back and stopped reaching out. I am feeling bit sad about the distance created between us. :( 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:51 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:51 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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It's not worth it. Move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:51 PM Flag
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Why don't you ask him what is going on and try to reconnect? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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He will give new reason every time. Now I am tired of asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:06 PM Flag
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Doesn't seem to be the momentum that builds up to a proposal. If that's what you want, take this as a sign to move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:02 PM Flag
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OP: When I try to move on, he comes back strongly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:07 PM Flag
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np- sounds like he has intimacy issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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Np. Not a healthy or sustainable dynamic! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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Ugh. Don’t do this to yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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How long have you been dating? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Ask yourself if you want to deal with this yoyo-ing and lack of engagement for the rest of your life. If not, find someone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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I've had a lot of fairly long relationships including an ex-dh (no dc's), and when I met my now dh, none of that crap happened. it was easy and we were instantly committed. find someone else - it'll happen! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:40 AM Flag
[ - ] If you live in D3, what are the public high school options? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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D3 has no district priority schools. you apply to all the citywide schools, and pray. I know some great kids who got screwed last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you know anyone with kids at NEST+m that live on the UUWS? I know there is a bus but it seems faaar. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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It is far. Kids will be getting on bus before 7am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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Np. My kids go to nest. The uws is not ideal but I think the kids get on at 7:15 or So in the high 80s/low 90s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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The one kid we know in the 90's who went to NEST got really fat, probably because he spent so much time sitting on a bus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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that is way too long of a school day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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Yes, there are kids from Harlem, kids from the Bronx, kids even from Staten Island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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My kids are at nest but most kids are from Brooklyn and Manhattan. A bus from Queens. 1/3 from other places. Neither has more than 1-2 friends in Harlem or the Bronx. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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Rockaway as well - several actually - we commute from South Brooklyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Our commute is 45 minutes into NEST - been carpooling for years - just about finished with 8th grade for my last one - would do it again given the same situation - not sure that I would do it again in the current G&T environment - NEST has gone down and the benefits of NEST are less certain if Carranza has his way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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You’re kid needs a 99 to be considered. So maybe wait for that before you think about the commute? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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*your [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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Knew someone in Hudson Heights whose kid did this commute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Is it me or does Katherine seem to be more into her ring than Chris? http://m.tmz.com/#!article/2019/01/14/chris-praty-katherine-schwarzenegger-engaged-ring/ 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:45 PM Flag
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Why should Chris be into the ring? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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You're basis this on... TMZ? LMFAO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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But but its a good source. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Any tips for becoming at SAHM? I am leaving my job at the end of the month to stay at home full time with my 2 DC- ages 2 and 6. I am getting nervous about the transition and would love any advice from others who have gone through this process as well. Thank you! 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:41 PM Flag
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go back to work in 3 years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:43 PM Flag
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Enjoy it! Take some time and then get yourself on a schedule. It's hard to leave the rigors of a work schedule and self-structure (at least it was for me). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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Great advice. Get into a good schedule. Get up and moving like you have a job and stay on some type of schedule and enjoy. Make time to work-out every day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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My advise is to quit in three years. Staying home with a little kid made me crazy. But if you stay home make sure you give yourself time to do stuff you enjoy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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Schedule babysitting breaks. Being home with young children looks easy but there is no alone time and most adults need some personal time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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mother's little helper? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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a glass of wine with lunch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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Remind yourself to appreciate every day. If you're not appreciating it, you could be at work and your kids could be with someone who appreciates having the job of taking care of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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I agree. There's no point being a 24/7 miserable, begrudging SAHM, and there are plenty. Better to work and enjoy the time you spend with your family. That being said, there are SAHMs who are truly magical and good at the job and I think that's awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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Maintain your connections and relations in your industry. Unless you have domestic support (baby sitter, someone who cleans your house/apt), it becomes a real 24/7 job and can be isolating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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This, there are no more "weekends" it's the same day in and day out. Best with domestic support or with family support. Do you have any family nearby? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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OP- yes I have family close by and we are keepign the cleaning lady. Thanks for all of the advice everyone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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Only if you have a DH who checks out completely and never takes the kids giving you a couple of hours break on a weekend. Not every SAHM works 24/7, DH usually steps in to help some or there are occasional PT babysitters or family. Plus after kids are in school FT, you have quite a few hours a day without them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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Find a social circle that you can lean on and interact with if you would like. Figure out a schedule that works for you. Some days will be hard and isolating but remind yourself that you get to stay home with your kids, a luxury not all parents can afford to do or want to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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Unless you've built up a lot of wealth, get a post-nup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Realistic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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Structure. It saved us. Even if it was just library story hour, we always had a place to go each day. I was a much happier, more engaged mom when I had planned out the day in advance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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Best decision I ever made! Enjoy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:09 PM Flag
[ - ] OMG! My friend just got a call from OW she said i have been having an affair with your husband for the last two years. My friend is inconsolable.. i am in shock myself. OW s 25. 50 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:21 PM Flag
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OW is a golddigger, nail down all money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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Whatever. Are you the clueless passport OP below? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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^^which was just deleted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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DH upgraded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:26 PM Flag
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It is not upgrading if he is with a woman that cruel and unkind. (NP) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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unkind for telling or having the affair in the first place? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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both! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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DW might be a mean person therefore DH cheated with OW? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:34 PM Flag
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That isn't why men or women cheat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:35 PM Flag
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Her youth and perkier breast? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Nope, not about that either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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OW's emotion support and the great sex [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:43 PM Flag
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try to stop kidding yourself, OW. You are a skank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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Not my fault you can't keep your man happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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Bad character. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:56 PM Flag
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This is rarely the case [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Yeah, to a woman with him for money who won't be around when he's old. At this race he's putting a pistol in his mouth if he thinks she's sticking around if the money dries up. Ha! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Probably means things are falling apart and she's trying to hang on. If your friend wants DH back it's probably a good time but it's really hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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My friend got a similar call...3 DCs. The OW’s sister called her and told her that her DH was ruining OW’s life and to keep DH away from her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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OMG! What happened? OY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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Affairs seems to be normal. When are people going to realize MONOGAMY doesn't exist!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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Normal for a certain type of person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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We all know that, but the cheating is the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:48 PM Flag
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He was/is a serial cheater...turns out he was also cheating on the OW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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OW's sister was not wrong. He was ruining lots of lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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OW was part of the problem too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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I believe it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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Oh...my friend thanked her....but her DH (now Ex) is with the OW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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ugh. He will eventually cheat her on too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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See above...he already has...multiple times [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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your friend is better off without his scummy sleazy ass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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Yep...he begged to come back and she hired a PI and found out about the series of women [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Wow. She’s so much better off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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I see now he was cheating on OW even at the time! Yep. Cheaters cheat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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Yep...one of the woman was a Mom at the DC’s private school,...he has no shame [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:34 PM Flag
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so gross [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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Tell her to take a deep breath. It's going to be a saga. The range of emotions, the dealings w DH. It will take time for the ramifications to come into focus. Any outcome is possible so don't rush to rash decisions. Sometimes the relationship ends up better. Not typically, but my point is that you're just at the start of a journey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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She needs chump lady [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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She should invite OW to lunch and let her know what she would be responsible for when DH has 50/50 custody. Be sweet but lay out the money issues (private school, college, etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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Fake-A-Rama [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:02 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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Seems like an odd strategy. OW violated her boyfriend's trust (I assume) in the most dramatic way possible. Does this strategy ever work for the OW. What kind of man would stay with someone who would violate his trust in this way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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This happens but is either because 1) the husband was lying the whole time to OW that he was not married or was legally separated, divorce all but final or 2) dh promises to leave wife for OW but just can't seem to do it so OW tries to blow up his marriage so he gets divorced and can marry her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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also 3) OW finds out he was cheating on HER with another other woman and so tells the wife because she is angry with ihm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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I get that, but wouldn't calling the wife be an unforgivable breach of trust by the OW. I can see it will break up the marriage, but I would hope it would break up the affair also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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No, trust is not a big deal to these men to begin with. If they want out of the marriage but didn't have the balls to do it themselves, they are fine with it. If they were never going to leave their wife, they may agree to dump OW but isn't about a breach of trust. They will just look for another OW who they hope won't tell the wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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^^^not saying they won't be angry, but more angry because of the inconvenience of dealing with an upset wife [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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This is what I’m wondering about Jeff Bezos’ side piece. Why the hell would he stay with her after she basically leaked all that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Your friend is probably better without this asshole. Let OW be stuck with the cheater, so she can constantly wonder where he is when he’s not with her. It’s a terrible way to live [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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Why did OW call? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:11 AM Flag
[ - ] FT wohm off from work today, out to lunch on my own, UES. Looking around at these women my age (mid-40’s) and wondering what the F they do all day and talk about?? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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Hey FT WOHM. When I'm off, I get stuff done around the apartment. Why are you out being a busy body? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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Remember when you were 22 and spent significant time standing in front of a mirror combining different clothes, shoes, hairstyles? That. Signed, fellow wohm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:22 PM Flag
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HAHAHAHAHAHA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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Ha! I was out on the UES last week and will be on the UWS tomorrow. I SAH but the two people I am meeting have FT jobs. One works from home Fridays. The other flies a lot and sometimes works from home if she took a red eye. You never know! Anyway we talk about Netflix, our kids, the kids’ schools, people we have in common, trips... Very little work stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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Nothing as worthwhile as what you do all day, of course! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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WTF do you do and talk about on evenings and weekends? Extrapolate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:58 PM Flag
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Typically if I am having lunch out it is to solicit donations because I am on a non-profit board. Sometimes it is a meeting with the development director. We usually discuss the non-profit, kids, trips and upcoming events. Nothing like the conversations you have, no doubt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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O [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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Worry about your own life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Cultivate your own garden. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Hi, garden mom! You like this phrase [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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LOL, I prefer Voltaire Mom, but Garden Mom will do just as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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Philosophy major? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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WOHM mom and here's what I'd do all day: Get kids off to school; straighten up; go to gym; come home and get dressed; meet up with friends for lunch; go get some fresh food to cook for dinner; run errands; deal with kids afterschool stuff; cook dinner; etc. etc. I could easily fill the days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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