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[ - ] Need financial advice. Mortgage is 900K 30-year on a 1.5MM house. We have 300K that we could put toward the mortgage and refinance to a non-jumbo 15-year OR we could put 50% down on a 600K rental. Setting aside the actual impact to monthly payments, etc., which do you think is the better financial strategy? We are early 40s. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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what are the rates in question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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Current mortgage is 4.0%; 15-yr would probably be around 3.0-3.25 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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so you would have 1.2 in two mortgages? or 600K in one 15 year 3% mortgage. Do you mind being that much in debt and can you afford those payments considering no rental income? What are your other assets beyond the 300K? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:51 PM Flag
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the assumption would be that the 3000-3500 in rental income would pay for the 2000/mtg + 800/mo tax on that that house; then we would just continue to pay our 900K mortgage like we do today. Question is in 20 years, we would have a second house paid off that we could use as an investment property. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:53 PM Flag
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I wouldnt do the rental if you are in an area where housing prices have already gone up a lot. i would just pay down that mortgage. now a more interesting question is what is the cap rate on the rental (rent-tax-maintenance)/price of the place? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Manhattan gynecologist recs? Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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I don't know but I read that as gynecologist race (ready, set, go!). If you just need gyn, not ob, see if Margaret nachtigall is still practicing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:13 PM Flag
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I like the GYNs at Weill Cornell Eastside - have seen them all at one point or another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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Sherri Saltzman [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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Village OB (Dr Worth) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone had DB #2 and regretted? Why? Tx. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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Only the poster below. Otherwise, no, no one has ever regretted having a second child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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LOL. Of course people have. Much as they've regretted the first and third. And fourth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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Not sure if its regret, but neighbor had an only, they decided to go for another at the last minute, and their 2nd has duchenne's MD. Totally changed their lives in all the ways you would imagine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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NP - this is my fear. I have a beautiful nine month DD and when she turns a year old, we'll decide if we're going to try for another. I'll have just turned 38. I'm so torn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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i understand fears, but this is really silly to me. If this is the only thing holding you back, then just get a lot of testing. you realize chances are still quite slim unless there is fam history. You can't live your life this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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I did do the generic testing so I'm ok there, it's just chromosomal disorders I worry about. My cousin's second child has DS, and his older kid ended up needing therapy because he didn't get enough attention. And since I'm older, I wouldn't be around to take care of an adult child who couldn't care for themself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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NNP: this is my fear too. Have a 4 yo who is exactly the child I always imagined I would have, so afraid to push my luck. I'm 36 FWIW. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:12 PM Flag
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Not #2 but I do with #3. I love my surprise #3DS but three is SO hard. It sucks being outnumbered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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I hear a lot of people secretly regretting #3, but not #2. Sibling bond is too adorable. Obviously anecdotal, but that's what this board is all about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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I didn't regret number 2 - the early years were tough, but so worth it our family is so much fun and the dynamic of having two is nice. They both offer something different and love the people they are becoming. 1 would might be easy the first couple of years, but then as they get older you see the benefit of two on everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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I don;t regret having another but dh favors our first born. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:38 PM Flag
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How does he show it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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Not regret because I truly love both and appreciate their very different personalities. However, there are many days when I realize how much easier and cheaper it would be with just 1. They are so different that I don't know if they will ever be close and friends, so it does take a lot more work to manage the sibling rivalry than I ever would have imagined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Finance mom are you here? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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I am but I shouldn't be- I have a mtg at 430p! Ask and Watch and I (or someone else!) will answer at some point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:12 PM Flag
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I am JM and I think I messed up. I bought a whole bunch of stocks a few weeks ago and after a week or so, their price went up and I sold them. I thought I was so smart. I made about 7-10K. Now I looked and those stocks have soared even more. What to do now? go back at the high? or wait? (all oil or oil fiedl related like Silica) thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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you cannot time the market. don't chase a rising tide. take your 7-10K and and look for something else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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That wasn't OR- I will get back to you later, JM, but overall take care of your core first (healthy exposure to desired asset classes that you won't change- I think more upside in foreign equity markets now than U.S.)- dick around in oil-related with side money or a small allocation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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Yes, I have to do that. I have not had time to research it and my idiot adviser never calls me and when I call her, she sounds like she is 22 (Vanguard). (This is the free service). I want to put some money in Euro, bond or whatever and not have to think it for a few years. But if I had Silica now, it would have been up 534% annualized!!!Do you guys calculate your "should've, "would've" stocks that you sell like that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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Paid or not, I would guess the Vanguard advisor service is not high-touch- they are supposed to give you 5-10 funds that you adjust 1-2x per year. So JM, I think you toss some into Europe (hedge the euro with HEDJ ETF), Japan (hedge the yen with DXJ ETF) and China and maybe a smidgen into some commodities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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Thank you. Should I buy a ETF for commodotities? Also, why Japan? Has Japan ever been profitable? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 01:28 AM Flag
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commodities sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 01:28 AM Flag
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Japan because there will be another bout of quant easing later this year and the yen helps exporters. Commodities because they are down a lot and some areas will have made the adjustment with curtailed supply later this yr [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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i'm not her, but i'm sure there are a lot of us on here. what is your question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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DO NOT FORGET THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY SHORT TERM CAPITAL GAINS TAX! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:30 PM Flag
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OP: UGH, I know. I hate hate that!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:53 PM Flag
[ - ] DD is a solid, but not top, student in one of NYC's specialized high schools (think Stuy/Bronx Science). Her SATs (which she has taken only for practice at this point), look to ber top percentile in English, but significantly lower in mathematics. Based on these numbers (grades, SATs) I don't think she has a chance at the top colleges (ivy, little ivy, or even a rank down from those schools). How do I go about helping her to identify the schools that she would have a reasonable chance of getting into? Guidance at her school seems overwhelmed, and not much help. Frankly, it all seems a little sad to me right now, since she's a great kid. Advice? We don't have thousands to spend on consultants, alas. 89 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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What is her GPA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:59 PM Flag
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don't know exactly -- I would say numerically around a 91-92. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:00 PM Flag
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McGill, NYU, Fordham, Bucknell, Franklin and Marshall, Ursinus, Union, Holy Cross, Univ. of Rochester, Pitt, Syracuse. Does that seem right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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Probably, but a little depressing. think she would like a smaller liberal arts school. How are you figuring this out? And how can I help to identify the right schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:06 PM Flag
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Just from seeing kids through the process. This is not a depressing list. It would have been when I was in HS, but many of these have really risen up. Bucknell is much better than a generation ago. Union is great. Fordham is a school on the rise. Open your mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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Lehigh or Lafayette in PA, Colgate, Rochester, Emory, George Washington, Wash U [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:09 PM Flag
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Thanks. This is an interesting list--and schools I know very little about, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:12 PM Flag
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Start getting happy with that list. College admission is not what you remember. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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Wash U tough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:55 PM Flag
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I posted below. you never know, her SAT scores could come back higher than you think. I would look at the US News list of top LACs and focus on the schools ranked #10-30. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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Not trying to be a killjoy, but a kid coming out of Stuy with a 91 isn't getting into a school that is #10. Too much competition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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really? vassar accepts 24%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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and Haverford and Colby accept like 27%. that's a lot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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^^^I'm sorry, Haverford accepts 23%, it is Hamilton that accepts 27%. but still relatively high for both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:19 PM Flag
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Try not to get caught up in it. Your job is to help her find a great fit; somewhere she'll enjoy and thrive. That may be a top place, it may not. Just be sure not to rule schools out just because of some silly ranking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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op: I'm with you. It's just hard to figure out where they will even look at her seriously. Everything is so strange these days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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I hear you. Don't sell her short, either. You never know if she'll get in somewhere objectively too competitive. But really, it will be fine so long as you have reasonable goals (it is too bad NY does not have a top flight state option but there it is). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:09 PM Flag
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Michigan, Wisconsin, Emory, Tufts, Wash U, NYU, some LACs like Wesleyan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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Interesting, I thought most of these would be reaches for her because of the somewhat lower math score (and all the B+ type grades on her transcript). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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I think you're right, and answered above at a lower notch. Maybe some combination? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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You are right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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some of them may well be. but some I still think could be in her range. you could also add GW, BU, some SUNY schools, if in NYS and $$ is tight. some other state schools like Indiana, Maryland, if dc likes big time athletics and such. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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Wash U would be a reach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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This. I think they're confusing it with George Washington. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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I suggested both. Wash U is harder than GW but not that hard. perfect for A-/B+ student with solid SATs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:02 PM Flag
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No, it's not. Admission rate of 15%. Average SATs north of 2000. No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:04 PM Flag
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Arrange your list into "reach" schools, "core" schools and one "safety" school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:03 PM Flag
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what does she want to major in? what type of feel does she want in a college? I wouldn't be sad; tons of options and she will do great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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small liberal arts, loves both the arts and, strangely enough, the sciences. Just not pure mathematics. She loves the idea of school in Maine, but I think both Bowdoin and Bates are unlikely. Colby? Vassar? She would not mind a single sex school, I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:09 PM Flag
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barnard college could be a great option. same campus as Columbia, so not really SS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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I had been thinking Barnard--thanks for confirming. Not sure she is in the box for it, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:20 PM Flag
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bc SS or bc NYC? Bryn Mawr accept 40%. I am surprised it is that high. it is also a very reputable school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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^^^only 20% get into barnard, making it more difficult than all the other LAC discussed here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:23 PM Flag
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Bowdoin admission rate is 15%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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Skidmore, Holy Cross, Williams, William & Mary, College of Charleston [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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LOL wtf list is that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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Those are all highly selective schools. One step down is Skidmore, Franklin and Marshall, Brandeis, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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Vassar has been co ed for a generation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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np--Colby and Bates are very close in admissions statistics. Bowdoin is much harder to get into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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All kids should apply to a range of schools. What's her GPA and do you have budget restrictions? Being able to pay full tuition is a big plus. She might look at some test optional schools like Connecticut College or Pitzer. Hamilton College is very strong in writing. Look at the book Colleges That Change Lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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Hamilton is not for kids with 91 GPAs. I have no vested interest there, but it is a top school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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This. Full paying private school kids get into Hamilton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:35 PM Flag
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np--I know full-pay private school kids who didn't get into Hamilton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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a 91 gpa at a specialized NYC high school is a top student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:12 PM Flag
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What the fuck is a 91 gpa. Lots of heavily weighted classes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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Out of 100. Low A- GPA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:27 PM Flag
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Isn't goa usually on a 4.0 scale? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:38 PM Flag
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^^ gpa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:38 PM Flag
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Bates is test optional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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Wisconsin, Maryland, BU, Rochester, Binghamton, Brandeis, Muhlenberg, Tulane, Syracuse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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GW, American, BC, skidmore too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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yes, and all excellent choices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:39 PM Flag
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I am in the same situation with dc and understand how you feel. Is she 10th or 11th grade? Can she practice and improve over the summer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:09 PM Flag
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Get her a tutor for Math. A few good lessons can bring her score up significantly. Checke out the SAT courses at Princeton Review or Kaplan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:09 PM Flag
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I plan on this--but how do I find a math tutor? She doesn't need help on the English side. Just lots and lots of math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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The review courses concentrate on the type of math problems asked on the SATs. Your DD will have to work on review at home, too. They will bring her score up significantly. It's hardbtonimprovenin English, but easy to improve in math! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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First advice is to stop yourself from galling into the trap of feeling sad that her school prospects nay not be tt. If she's a great kid, that's the thing to focus on. How proud you ate of her strengths, and finding a school that's the right fit for her to continue her education. Tines have changed so I can't help much with a list, but my friends who were similar to your daughter were happy at Kenyon, Union, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Skidmore and all went on to good fulfilling careers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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^^^ falling, proud you are (not ate!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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What is Bard like these days? Vassar? Smith? Any nice mid-western schools that might not have too many applicants from NYC? (since she is prone to be pushed out of some places she might have qualified for because of stronger students in her grade). Anyone have ideas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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Grinell, Oberlin, College of Wooster [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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Good call on Oberlin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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Bowdoin has a 15% admission rate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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What's the projected SAT score? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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99th percentile on both language sections. 85th math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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Maybe I'm naïve, but she's in fine shape in my view. Would be in great shape if not at Stuy (i.e., if she was a top student at a good high school instead of a good student in a great school), but still fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:19 PM Flag
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The one conversation i had with guidance said that her grades, plus the lower score in math, took her out of contention for most of the top schools to which students from her high school apply. I believe that. There are just too many kids there with 99th percentile across the board, and A or A plus averages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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Just to get started...go to https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/college-search and plug in her information. It's a great starting point for research. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:13 PM Flag
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Thank you so much!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:18 PM Flag
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doesn't the guildance counselor help with these things? THey probably have experience with what other children like her got placement wise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:13 PM Flag
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How about William & Mary in Virginia? Very nice school, should be right in range for her. (I think you're being too pessimistic - aren't you talking about a near 800 verbal?). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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yes, close to perfect verbal. But the math. . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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I'm firing you from helping your DD with this. She will be fine. let her do it. you are pretty crazy about this. she sounds great. she will go to a great school and be successful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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of course, but she asked me to help. Just trying to figure out where to take trips, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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Big schools- U Michigan, Wisconsin, Maryland, Delaware, Indiana. Small schools- George Washington, Lehigh, Colgate, BU, Lafayette, Elon, Rochester [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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Lehigh is very much a business/engineering school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:51 PM Flag
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Would she consider an all women's school like Smith, Mt Holyoke, Wellesley? They're relatively easy to get into for how good they are, and will be top notch in humanities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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^I'd also look at Kenyon (excellent writing program!), maybe U Missouri School of Journalism if that's her thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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One more point - 99th percentile verbal is amazing! College admissions process feeds kids the big lie that they're only impressive if they're awesome at everything, but in real life you don't need to be good at everything if you're exceptionally good at one thing. Your dd will do great! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:30 PM Flag
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yes, I think she's amazing. But I'm her mother, and I don't count. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:35 PM Flag
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it counts for a lot. You'll be in her life long after she's done with college. Anyway, the point is that college is a short-term goal. Her talent will serve her well in the long-term even if it's not the right key to open the door to Yale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:44 PM Flag
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op: I actually think she'd like a single sex school. But, on the other hand, she's the kind of girl who likes to have boys as friends, so I am not sure whether,in the end, they would be a match. We will certainly look at some of those schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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and no boys to take up all the oxygen in the science classes, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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Could she do some massive math prep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:05 PM Flag
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Bucknell, Gettysburg, Bennington, Middlebury, Hampshire. Also, some of the SUNYs have small colleges that take lower GPAs. Not Binghamton, but some of the others. What about Hobart/William Smith? Connecticut College? Simmons? Guilford? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:54 PM Flag
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Macalester, Kalamazoo, Ithaca College. According to dc's SHS statistics, any of the SUNYs should be safe with that GPA, if not the honor programs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 11:18 PM Flag
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Macalester is twice as selective as Ithaca College (35% vs 67%) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 03:48 AM Flag
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Of this list, Middlebury is far harder to get into than any of the others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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Wait until you see real test results. If your daughter has a clear favorite school she might consider applying early decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.31.15, 02:39 AM Flag
[ - ] DH here. Our 1mo baby will only sleep with you are holding him while standing up. If you sit down, he notices the difference and starts to cry. I think this is because my wife indulges him too much. She said this is normal for infants. How long until we can let him cry it out? He's exhausting. My wife kicked me out of the room last night because I wanted to let him cry it out, but I don't think it's normal to require constant rocking and holding. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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Good luck with that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:00 PM Flag
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I'm assuming you've tried swings, rockers etc.? You can't spoil a 1 mo old. She is not indulging DB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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for a one month old this is not abnormal and its also too early to be worried about "bad habits." also too young for CIO. also, newsflash: babies are exhausting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:02 PM Flag
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If this isn't fake, then you should know you can't really "indulge" a 1 month old. And you can't let a 1 month old cry it out either. Jeez, read a baby book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:03 PM Flag
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Are you insane??? You can't let a 1mo "cry it out". They need to feel safe. Db is a person who has only been breathing air for a matter of weeks and you're mad that db isn't "trained". Sickening. That baby should be held, comforted and loved for months before you even try to start db on a schedule. You're going to do damage to your child if you ignore it on many levels neurologically, hormonally with stress and emotionally - its a scientific fact. Read a book you sound like you lack a lot of common sense! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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This. Damn, some people are scary. Terrifies me for the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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Hey dummy, db has lived almost a year in almost constant motion. Takes more than a few weeks for it to feel ok just sitting down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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This! The baby is used to walking around with Mom. Let her take care of the baby and stop making her job harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:18 PM Flag
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come back in 6 o r 7 months and ask again. Hold that baby tight and rock all he wants. poor little thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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this is why women have babies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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I wish she would have divorced you. Newsflash you aren't the center of attention anymore. The baby's needs need to be met, NOT YOURS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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Could have reflux,call your doctor. Never do CIO that is torture for the baby [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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this is somewhat normal. When asleep, you really can't sit? Totally normal to want to have you standing when awake i've found. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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The baby is one month old! Yes this is totally normal. Grow up and stop being so selfish. The earliest you can cry it out is 4-6 months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:23 PM Flag
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It's too early to CIO and it's too early to start bad habits, so don't blame your wife here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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yeah - talk to us when your five year old is still crawling into bed with you! we will take your side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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This is a very difficult time. I am sure you are both exhausted. Why don't you offer to take db early evening til midnight so wife can sleep, take baby out of room and do what you can and then let her have baby for midnight on time. Try keeping baby in swing or we had some sort of a vibrating small crib. It gets better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:38 PM Flag
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also, might I recommend the book or dvd, "happiest baby on the block". It helped us a bit! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:39 PM Flag
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+1 was going to recommend this too. Try all 5 of the "S's", swing, swaddle, suck (pacifier), side, Shushing noise. Actually, watch the video, it's shorter than reading and you will see the results of the babies in the video. You can probably watch online on amazon or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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Electric rocker? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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This is why men kill but women, not so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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Paging Andrea Yates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:04 PM Flag
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Statistically its just the truth. Men are idiots and the cause of most war, rape, murder, abuse. Theyre given way too much power in society. We would have a much better world with either women in charge or at the very least equality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 10:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Just curious - what are parent-teacher conferences like for divorced parents? Do you both go? Do you coordinate times? Sit there in awkward silence while waiting for your time with teacher? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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We used to both go. Now, I go by myself and let him go on his own (or not, his choice to schedule), as we cannot be in the same room. Most people I know go together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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really? You can't stop fighting and be grown ups for 30 minutes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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If this is for me (OR); I can. He can't be near me without being hostile. We have an RO currently because of this and some other things. I am not saying this is normal; it would be easier if he could just go and sit there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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You sound clueless NP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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Exactly as you described. Awkward silence. Or I stand down the hall and make a quick call while I am waiting. It is terrible. In with the teacher, we are fine, but outside is terrible. When we leave I stop to look at something or say I have to go see someone else in the building for a volunteer project so we don't have to walk out together. Our school won't do separate unless there is an order of protection. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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Most of the time one parent goes. Everyone works and has other kids so it's hard to get both parents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:13 PM Flag
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We both go at the same time, but we are amicable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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I have always told the ex when they are. He has never gone. Our schools have always let parents fill time slots and have MANY time slots so divorced parents can go separately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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I went alone every single time and it was totally fine. Don't get the question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Have to help ds finish his book report tonight bc it is due tomorrow. However, I am starting to feel like I am coming down with that horrible stomach virus. My stomach is cramping and I am starting to feel nauseous. Can I just send teacher an email explaining the situation? I am a single mom so no one else to help ds. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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How much help does the kid need? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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He is 8 and I have to practically sit on top of him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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I don't understand this. my son is 7 and he could write his own book report. Have him do what he can, the best he can. The homework is not for YOU, it is for HIM! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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This. How old is ds, and how much help? You can give advice from the sofa...(single mom here also). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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This is the time to tell him he has to rally. Tell him you are sick, and need his help in getting this done. You can still read, direct, ask questions, which is really all you should be starting to do at this age anyway. If I were the teacher, I would say that unless the child is sick, it should be done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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Agree/ I think her son might surprise her :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:44 PM Flag
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Just have him do the best he can on his own. Tell him you're sick and that you need him to be a big boy and help you by getting it done on his own. That should make him finish it and the quality does not, frankly, really matter as long as he can hand it in. (But let's be realistic - if you're about to start puking, he'll probably be too sick to go to school tomorrow anyway.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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He's young. the teacher won't care too much if he's an otherwise good student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone here ever affected your opinion about anything? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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Yes, definitely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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Sure, practically every day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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does making me more pessimistic about the human race count? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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Hi TT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I've lost my brother. :( He moved to the south to take an engineering job out of college about 4 years ago, and he's completely transformed into this psychotic conservative who is completely fixated on Tea Party-like causes. I know he spends a lot of time on conservative forums but he's just not the same person. I just unfriended him on Facebook because he posts incessantly about completely insane topics, only to have his looney friends form an echo chamber of reinforcement around him. I almost feel like it's a cult. Can I help him? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Just unfollow.. no need to unfriend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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Just unfollow.. no need to unfriend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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OP: What I didn't mention is that he also posts on my with his insane comments, even when my post is not political in nature. I messaged him to tell him to tone it down and then it got into an all out fight. He thinks I've gone down the path of evil by being a Democrat and supporting Obama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:03 PM Flag
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can you block him? will this prevent him from posting on your timeline? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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Unfriending takes care of that. He knows that I've unfriended him. I probably just beat him to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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A grown-up simply unfollows family members or good friends with whom she disagrees or find annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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There you go. Well said. It's not as though you don't love him. His fb posts are annoying. It's just a side of his personality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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No, you can't help him. I have two siblings, one of whom is in a cult-like religion down south. I simply ignore because even talking to her is exhausting and depressing. My hope is that this thing will run its course and I'll have her back one day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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where down south? just curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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Georgia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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This happened to a friend of mine...we all grew up in NYC and went to a TT private school, so it's not like we are dealing with an uneducated family...her older sister married some conservative born again lunatic and now she's a creationist. My friend can't even talk to her sister now. They take their kids to the creation museum on vacation. It's bananas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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what was his college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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Rutgers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:37 PM Flag
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Why don't you stay fb friends and be the voice of reason on his posts. Keep him anchored and his mind open. That is how you could help him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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He's found a place where he feels comfortable and fits in. It happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:02 PM Flag
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Be glad it is not your DH. This happend to mine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 10:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here ever hear the 16 year old kid from Minnesota named Corbin (Spooky Black)? I like his music... just discovered it yesterday. Kind of mesmerizing in the FKA twigs sort of way. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Twigs gets repetitive. she gets on my nerves because it's ALWAYS about her being seductive. Give me Eryka Badu... there is a truly creative person [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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My only problem with dubstep .. the type that Massive Attack or Burial would play is that it's so hypnotic it makes me dizzy and a little nauseous. I think you have to be high to enjoy it and I don't smoke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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I neven thought of you as ignant... baby, I'm about to die [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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hi corbin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
[ - ] A&E's Neighbors with Benefits ?!? How did I not know this show was on TV ?!! 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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What is this about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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OP. A suburban neighborhood with young couples (some with kids) who are swingers. Dead serious. Real names and faces and everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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this better be real....looking it up right now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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Extremely real. And 1st two episodes are on demand, at least on xfinity. I found out about it through gawker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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It's like everything I always wondered happened outside of the swinger sex on pornhub. How did these people meet each other? What do they talk about at the soccer fields? What are the rules? Do they have kids ?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:59 PM Flag
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ok, so now I'm not going to get anything done for two hours. Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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This is one reality show where I seriously can't figure out why they would think this was a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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Looks pretty fake to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:58 PM Flag
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it has been alleged that most of the cast are actors [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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OP, really? Like they aren't even married to each other? Or that they are faking the swinging? Because why would you do that? They rented out a whole neighborhood? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:08 PM Flag
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ok so I'm coming down on that they filmed at rented locations, and that none of the couples actually live in that neighborhood they show, and that many of them probably just met each other, or were recruited by A&E to be on the show. Maybe they even have fake names. But they kinda look like real married couples to me ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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Local residents are annoyed at the suggestion that so many swingers live in such a concentrated area. Seems unrealistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:19 PM Flag
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You mean, reality tv isn't real? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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Very flyover [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:06 PM Flag
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I saw the first episode. It was gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh is very frustrating. He has about 5 different stock accounts with minimal amounts in each - less than ~$5K per account. He likes trading, but I only allow a small amount. Anyhow, we are trying to buy a home and I asked him to liquidate all of those little accounts and put it back into savings because I think it will help us when we apply for a mortgage. He said that it shouldn't matter. I say that it does. Thoughts? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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It's all liquid, doesn't matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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Really? I thought they would view this as a liability since it can be lost at any moment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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The cash could be "lost" any minute if DH spends it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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Just means a few extra pages in the fax machine to send documentation for the mortgage company- the bank and everyone else will count the balance as liquid assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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Ok, thanks. I guess I will leave him alone about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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that said if these are funds you need or plan to use soon like for a down payment, better to keep them as cash in those accounts- it's not like there is a ton of upside in the broad US equity markets these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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He's right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:06 PM Flag
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^having said that, we shifted some of our "fun" trading accounts to cash before buying a house, but only to make sure we didn't lose it at that time, since we wanted to use that money. Nothing to do with qualifying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:07 PM Flag
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the bigger question is what is it he is trying to accomplish? sounds like he needs to get organized. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:10 PM Flag
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i don't know - its annoying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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Leave it. My little play account is now over 20 grand for just 2,000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:14 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Every store is sold out of the Chanel espadrilles - in every color - in basically every size except 41 and 42. I so so want a pair!!!! Ugh. I put myself on the waitlist, but since I'm not a big spender at Bergdorf, I know that my name will stay at the bottom of the list. Boo. 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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If only they could have made the logo a little bigger.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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ITA, you can barely see it. It would help if they came with a coupon for a tattoo of the Chanel logo for the wearer's forehead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:05 PM Flag
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+1, or tramp stamp [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:22 PM Flag
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they are so so ugly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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can leave the price tag on to cover up some of the double C's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:06 PM Flag
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I have big feet and could get a pair, but think they are seriously ugly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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Why would you spend that kind of money on espadrilles. They're literally made to last exactly one season. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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op - No, I had a pair in college that lasted me 8 years. They are actually made very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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Chanel espadrilles in college! Impressive! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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Espadrilles are very ugly, even Chanel ones, but I found some on eBay that maybe you should check out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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op - Too many fakes on eBay and they want the same price if not more than what I would pay retail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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I like espadrilles, just not these. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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np: I must admit I like espadrilles with a wedge heel and ankle strap. But I would only pay like $50 for a pair, lol. Not exactly an everyday classic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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Damn. Just when I thought that they didn't make a shoe uglier than Toms.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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lol. You're joking, right? Omg, talk about lemmings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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op - Nope! I like them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:55 PM Flag
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this. fugly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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There really is a sucker born every minute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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Not a damn thing to do about it. Chanel must be happy, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:59 PM Flag
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Why isn't Chanel merchandise classified as NOKD? Without a huge label on each item I doubt anyone would buy them. I understand that they're required for RH cast members but don't see the need to spend 10x (if not more) the cost of a non-Chanel item. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:00 PM Flag
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Michael Kors is the worst now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:16 PM Flag
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PP: I take that back. His really expensive line is gorgeous. HIs really cheap tacky line is really cheap tacky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:17 PM Flag
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Not many brands can offer both a high and low end at the same time, eventually brand cache erodes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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I tend to like MK, but those are hideous. Any plastic looking MK item with that logo is just awful. Not that Chanel espadrilles are any better. Those are pretty bad, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:31 PM Flag
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Just buy a larger size and wear bobby socks (can wear to pairs to get the right fit), can also have a cobbler chop down the toe to size. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:20 PM Flag
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Single tear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:35 PM Flag
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+1, maybe half a tear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:38 PM Flag
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These are sold out? Wow NYers are klassy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:06 PM Flag
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These shoes are basically the EZ-Pass for the Hamptons/Jersey Shore, can't enter those areas without them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] I had my second baby at 39 and regretting it now. I'm 42 with a 3 year old and 7 year old. It all just makes me feel old when I see young moms at school and I will be 50 when the youngest is just 12. Saw a similar post a week ago. Wish someone told me to start earlier...although I wanted to be married for a few years before kids. I also am having a tough time with two - so many days I look at my preschooler and wonder what if we didn't have him (I never have not loved him) just thought would 1 have been a better decision at my age. What will be will be but I just feeling in such a haze. Other moms out there feel this? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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nah. had mine at 34 and 37. they're now 8 and 10. i'm 44. they're super fun and we're financially secure enough to do fun stuff with them and farm out the busywork (house cleaning, etc). couldnt be happier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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4 and under is tough, especially an active boy. It will be so much better in 2 years. Get some extra help right now though, you sound a bit burned out and a little rest goes a long way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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That's parenthood, in my opinion. Had my DD at 42, and I'm 51 now. Tired, sure...some days...but other times are great. Keep in mind that you're still in the toddler years with the youngest and despite other issues you'll face as they grow older, it is wonderful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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i'm 50 and my youngest is 10. you aren't alone, but you are at a tough time in terms of your youngest's age. in 1-2 years it will be way easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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This. That age is so exhausting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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OR: i found three the absolutely most difficult age. terrible twos, my ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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my 2nd was a surprise at 39. yes, there were days when he was younger that i felt that way. that my entire life would have been different had i not had a 2nd child. and it's true - in more ways than you can imagine. but now that i have a 12yo and a 7yo, i don't feel that way ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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are you in nyc? you had your first at 36. that's young! i know so many who have their first after 40! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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God. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:08 PM Flag
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Considering #2 and older than you but don't think I can handle it energywise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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Can you afford help in the early years? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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I have a nanny and a full-time job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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You might need extra help on the weekends for your own sanity. If a few hours off on Saturday afternoons is the difference between having a baby or not, I'd consider it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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good point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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Considering #2 and older than you but don't think I can handle it energywise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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I had my third at 42 and ultra sound tech told me (I was 41 at the time), I was a "baby" for their practice. And looking around the waiting room, I'd say it was true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:49 PM Flag
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Older mom here. I adopted and I love that I received the child I did. She is a joy and we love her beyond our wildest dreams. But, if I could have had her when I was 25 or 35 instead of 45 I would in a minute. I want to see my grandchildren.. There are so many things I would love to do with my daughter as she grows older. She's 18 now. The love of our lives. I try to encourage her to have children sooner than later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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You regret having your three-year-old child? Because the moms at school are hotter than you? I can't believe someone would say something like this. No, other moms do not feel this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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Maybe you are not in her shoes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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Had my 2nd at 38 and don't regret it, though if I could do-over I'd start younger and have three. I will say that I'm glad that my younger one is about to turn 5; things have gotten exponentially easier (older is 8). I would not have the energy for another toddler right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:20 PM Flag
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There are a number of 40+ moms in my dd's preschool class. In fact, i might be the youngest and i am mid 30s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:23 PM Flag
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had them at 39, 41 and 43. Not my choice to have them so late, but yes my choice to have them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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I'm 42 and in the middle of an FET cycle. It will be my second. You don't scare me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:37 PM Flag
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You're old, as is OP. Who wouldn't regret going down the newborn rabbit hole mid 40s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:07 PM Flag
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You don't scare me either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 10:05 PM Flag
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I don't understand this. I had my 2nd at 41. I feel great. I think having a baby, while tiring, keeps you young. I also don't feel like an outlier age wise but I am in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:41 PM Flag
[ - ] So I got the old, "This week is really busy for me, perhaps another time," from DIL. Can someone please explain to me what she is so busy doing that she couldn't possibly come out to see me this week? Also, I realize that I am obsessed with this issue. I can't explain why. I was totally normal before DIL began withholding the children from me, now it's all I can think about. I woke up in a bad mood and I've been short with everyone I've met ever since. I have ALWAYS made myself available to my grandchildren. I feel like I'm being punished and she's so careless. I am so hurt and no one cares. I have no one to talk to about this. DH doesn't understand. I've spoken with my daughter about it and she's upset with DIL as well, but no one really understand how much it hurts me to be apart from those children. 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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Seek professional help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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You're scaring/annoying her away. Just STOP. They are NOT your children. Repeat to yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:44 PM Flag
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You are SO ANNOYING. Leave her alone. If I were her I would take out a restraining order on you. It's not your business why shes busy. You need a therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:40 PM Flag
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lol - I'm social worker mom. Almost every woman I meet says that she wants a restraining order against her MIL. The male attorneys are always making fun of these women for being so dysfunctional, but I say, "No, you don't understand. This is nearly a universal problem. Almost every woman wishes she could have a restraining order against her MIL." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Oh, you again. Do you harass DIL every day and then post about it every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:40 PM Flag
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Not every day, but yes, I do text her just about every other day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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you've annoyed US with your postings. leave her alone. frankly, she should be sainted for dealing with you already [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:53 PM Flag
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Do you realize that this is not appropriate? You have a relationship with your son. If you want to visit, make plans with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:12 PM Flag
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Are you the one that saw your grandchildren on 3/12? They're not being "withheld" from you, but you might not get to see them as much as you would like to. My mom is a more toned-down version of you, but she gets her feelings hurt because she doesn't think my brother and SIL are good about organizing time with them. The more demanding she gets, the more distance they try to create. For your own sake, back off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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Yes, the last time that I saw them was on 3/12. I don't understand why she can't bring the children to me. If she's overwhelmed and busy, then why wouldn't it be helpful to drop the children off with me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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she doesn't have to explain herself to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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"Busy" is code for, "I don't want to deal with you." I can see why; you're high maintenance and she has to be "up for it" to deal with you. As I said, my mom is sometimes in a similar boat and you can't force it without making the situation worse. Get busy developing your own life and they'll be much more eager to include you. Right now, you seem desperate and needy, which feels like "work" to most people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:59 PM Flag
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When I was growing up, we lived 10 minutes from my maternal grandparents and visited them at least twice a week for many hours at a time. We frequently slept over their house. We went on vacation with them multiple times every summer at the beach. Meanwhile, they complained CONSTANTLY to my mother that they weren't getting enough access to us. LOL. Grandparents are so clingy and cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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and by cute you mean obnoxious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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cute like when your 3 year old is whiny and bossy and has a tantrum? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 10:18 PM Flag
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Please stop posting this troll shit. You're annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Why don't you volunteer with children so you can get your fix [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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this x1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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Enough! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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Take a month off and get busy with something else. Let them call you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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get a hobbie or some friends your age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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I agree with you. She's using them as a power play because she knows it hurts you. How far are you from them? Unless it involves hours of travel each way there's no reason to be so busy for months at a time that you can't go see grandma unless you're doing it on purpose. Ask her if she's too busy for spinning or shopping or girl's night out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:50 PM Flag
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np: and how wil this help? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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omg - this is the worst advice ever. If MIL pulled this shit with me I would avoid her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:56 PM Flag
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I'm sure you would. Most women treat their inlaws as monsters to be avoided at all costs and then complain that they have to pay for housekeepers, chefs, and nannies because they "have no help." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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Uh, no most women do not have nannies, chefs and housekeepers, lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:59 PM Flag
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No, but almost every mother complains about how busy she is with "no help." Then she has someone desperate to help but who she won't allow to because she wants to prove that she controls her own family. I'm so glad that none of the women in my family feel the need to prove themselves like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:04 PM Flag
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Why don't you address this with your SON? Ask your son to plan a visit over to you with the kids. Your DIL does not want to hang out with you and that's fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:57 PM Flag
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I think it's probably because the daughter in law won't allow it. How many women do you know who let their husbands make plans for the kids without them? They're all worried that the kids' father will kill them by feeding them juice and goldfish crackers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:00 PM Flag
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I believe OP said in an earlier post that her son is too busy to talk to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:11 PM Flag
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I think you sound obsessed and you seem like the type if she gives an inch, you want a yard. Let her enjoy her kids, you had the opportunity to enjoy yours. Give it a rest. Take your free time as an opportunity to volunteer for those less fortunate than you and you will see what real problems are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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She's not withholding the children. She has other plans. Live with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:05 PM Flag
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Get a life. And for God's sake talk to your son and leave poor DIL alone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:15 PM Flag
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I'm sorry for you that you are feeling hurt about this, but we have all told you on here, numerous times: Leave your DIL alone! Go do something else. Leave them along for a few weeks. Stop badgering them and let them have their family and their life. You are not a main character in their story. I'm sorry if that hurts, but it is the truth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:18 PM Flag
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Wait, doesn't she have a 12 week old baby?~ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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Have your son bring the kids over. Your DIL is so sick of you she doesn't even want to look at you. Get a job or a hobby or some friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 10:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I have been dating a never-married guy in his early 40s. He is bright and hard-working/organized/disciplined and has a great job in a field that requires high intelligence. He is confident and charming. He is financially secure. He works out daily and is in perfect shape. However: He dresses like some kind of Eurotrash Italian teenager - baggy weird t-shirt and shiny reflective jeans and sneakers. Should I secretly plot to "change" him in the event of future marital unity, or will he never be the loafers-and-sportcoat guy I always pictured myself with? And is it even my place? He's from the Midwest, not another planet. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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He sounds gay to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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OP: I said BAGGY clothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:38 PM Flag
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^^also... lol, no, he's not gay or else he wouldn't dress like an 8-year-old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:38 PM Flag
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Maybe he's a pedophile. Most gays are, you know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:01 PM Flag
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Others may disagree, but, to my mind, clothing is the one thing you can change about a man. Not sense of style, not aesthetic preferences, but clothing you can fix. Incidentally, the best way to go about it is to tell him how terrific he would look in the things you've picked out or like. DO NOT CRITICIZE HIS CURRENT CLOTHING CHOICES. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:38 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you. On the bright side, at least he will repel most other women at first glance. He also... wears a backpack ::shudder:: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:39 PM Flag
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Tech aspie? I work in tech and this is exceedingly common to see. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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pp: There is something to be said for this. Count your blessings. BTW: I married a handsome but poorly dressed man. We have gorgeous kids (thanks to his genes), and he dresses okay these days. Other women couldn't see the potential. I could. My gain, their loss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:43 PM Flag
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I agree - you can change a guy's taste in clothing with little gentle guidance. When you feel comfortable, offer to go shopping with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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He sounds like a homo sexual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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i married a guy like this. (he was mid 20's at the time but seriously fashion challenged). i almost broke it off with him. we're happily married 17 years and he now dresses very well. some folks just need exposure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:42 PM Flag
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OP: I suspect it's because he's in a field where advancement is based on merit, not on networking or image. He could pretty much look like a homeless person and succeed in his career. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:45 PM Flag
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Frankly, if he is all you say he is, he sounds like quite a catch. And unless you are hopelessly superficial, or devoid of tact, there's no red flag there. Query: can you deal with having to tactfully and kindly help him with clothing choices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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There's a reason this successful guy is still single. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 09:10 PM Flag
[ - ] NYC private moms - what to wear on spring tour? If I'm a SAHM? If it's raining could I wear rain boots or try to dress up? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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If you wear rain boots, I would switch out to indoor shoes once indoors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:41 PM Flag
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ya don't do this. real smooth. let me just take off my giant boots for a sec, here hold my smelly socks while you're at it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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You do not HAVE to wear rain boots when it rains. You will be ok with normal shoes and an umbrella unless it's torrential downpour. Wear normal shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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look nice, but not dressed up. unless it's a hill school w lots of outdoor walking around, skip rain boots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:47 PM Flag
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Slacks and a nice sweater. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:23 PM Flag
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Wear dress casual clothes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it possible to come back from a feeling of total disinterest for your husband? He hasn't cheated. He's generally kind. Not the best provider or very career driven but he's ok. I just feel BLAH toward him. Like he's a piece of furniture. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:27 PM Flag
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professor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:31 PM Flag
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cs professor -- j/k! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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Do you guys have sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:31 PM Flag
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yeah, do you hump the furniture? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:32 PM Flag
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lol we do but i don't enjoy it anymore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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If you put your mind to something, you can surprise yourself. Don't indulge yourself by dwelling on the things you find wrong with him; force yourself to assess all the good parts about him. No man is perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:32 PM Flag
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thank you..good advice. i try so hard but gotta keep trying!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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you've lost respect for him. You will need to figure out a way to admire something in him, or else it's bed death followed by divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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every marriage has down periods, IMO. so a period of feeling blah towards your husband isn't necessarily forever. the question is whether you want to to do anything to help things get better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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Have you lost respect for him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:34 PM Flag
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I feel the exact same way about my wife. She just texted me that she's all excited about having sex tonight - apparently it's the one night a month she's in the mood - and I'm trying to figure out how to get myself in the right mind to go through with it. Booze and porn, probably? I don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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op to posters who asked if i have lost respect - yes. I hate to admit it because it makes me so sad. I definitely don't want to give up. We had a lot of financial problems early in our marriage and we are just coming out of them now. It did a lot of dammage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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hi twin, accept mine is an ass as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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Yes, it's called marriage. The ebbs and flows of marriage. Sometimes, I am madly in love with DH and other times, I'm like, meh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] How long is the car ride from Downtown Disney to Magic Kingdom ? Does $30 by car service sound about right ? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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The bus is free [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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Traveling very early to make rope drop, need to be there at 6.15am, what time should we leave the hotel? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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i really hate these kinds of "hard" vacations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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Rope drop? I've been to Disney 14 times. What are you talking about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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np. I don't know what that is, either. It's not when they let the crowds in. It almost sounds like needing to take a huge dump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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NP It's when the gates open to allow people in. So you have to get there before then to maximize your time there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:51 PM Flag
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Rope drop is at 8am. Not 6:15. Are you going this week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:54 PM Flag
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Which hotel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:35 PM Flag
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Why are you going to the Magic Kingdom at 6:15am? What now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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8 minutes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:29 PM Flag
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Is $30 reasonable ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:44 PM Flag
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uh google map my friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:37 PM Flag
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Use Mears. Not sure if disney shuttles are running at 6am [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 07:38 PM Flag
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If you're going that early for Extra Magic Hours, I'd actually suggest going to a different park on that day. EMH are notorious for driving crowds to the park offering the extra hours, lightening the crowds at the other parks. One extra hour at Magic Kingdom in the morning isn't going to make any difference in the day, especially if you have every family staying at a disney resort hotel there along with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.30.15, 08:27 PM Flag
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