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[ - ] can someone explain why NYC has a Dec 31 cut off while most of the country has Sept / Oct 1? My child was born in December and my choices seem to be private or moving. She cannot handle K that young, pediatrician agrees 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:50 PM Flag
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That seems silly. There will be other kids who are December kids too. You could also just do provate pre-k and k and then go public for first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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Not everyone can afford private preK. Also this would only work if you do private prek and private for K and then go public for 1st. That is a very expensive option just because DOE decided on Dec 31 cut off unlike the rest of the country. And no it's not silly. In my dc's class in citywide G&T most of the class is born before September. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:00 PM Flag
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That is what I said, private for pre-k and K. I agree it is expensive, but the OP put out private as one option. I wassimply saying it would just be for 2 years, not that this was a solution for everyone. Hartford has calendar year as well. Not sure about the rest of CT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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That is what I said, private for pre-k and K. I agree it is expensive, but the OP put out private as one option. I wassimply saying it would just be for 2 years, not that this was a solution for everyone. Hartford has calendar year as well. Not sure about the rest of CT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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same w CT publics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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States have varying cut offs with in the state. It’s not all of CT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:15 PM Flag
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It really sucks and I agree. I have a dc with end of Dec birthday who also was born with a mild physical disability. Although dc is very bright, very immature compared to classmates due to a wide age difference. DoE really sucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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The cut off date has to be arbitrary. You're unhappy with a December 31 cutoff because you have a December child. I'm sure there are parents who say the same about September 30 cut offs if they have a September child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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You do realize in a Sept 1 cutoff some kids will be August birthdays right? This idea that NYS is doing something horrid is laughable. It could be a June 1 cutoff and people would cry--but my baby is May 31. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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Seriously? You and your pediatrician believe that 3 months of growth will make that much difference for your snowflake? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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Clearly you would have benefited from being held back a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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NP. My ds with December BD wasn’t ready for K in nyc. We held back. Never regretted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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Cut off in my southern Westchester town is Dec. 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:59 PM Flag
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My guess is that, with a million kids in the system, they didn't want an artificial cut-off date. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:00 PM Flag
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That has to bit it, they go by birth year. It is simpler for them and for parents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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No. That’s not it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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what makes 12/31 any less artificial than say 9/1? I read in one thread discussing this is that the reason why NYC does this (at odds with most of the country) is that there are a lot of low SES kids in the NYC public school system; for them, it is better to get into school earlier so they can start formal education. This was before UPK; they should reassess now that there is UPK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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Education is locally funded and operated in this country. Standards vary by state- there is no federal norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:07 PM Flag
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They vary by city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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Cut off isn't an issue if everybody abides. Will be a 12 month spread no matter what the date. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:12 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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It’s a terrible cutoff. My take is NYC calculated the risk of children in poverty and poor care v getting 2 hot meals and academic stimulation and decided the December 31 cutoff better servered poor/eel population. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:14 PM Flag
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Is she in preschool? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:15 PM Flag
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its prob been Dec 31 cut off for 100 years! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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Oh, please. DS is a Dec baby and he's fine. Someone is always the youngest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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My kids birthdays were August and October and our cutoff was Sept. 1. Someone always suffers no matter what arbitrary month is picked. Silly question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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you should have planned better. I mean it. YOU are the one with control over your fertility [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:12 PM Flag
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Totally. People plan these things a decade out, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:45 AM Flag
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No kid should start K at 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:57 PM Flag
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I'm a kindergarten teacher in NYC. I totally agree. Given the very rigorous expectations we have of kindergarteners now, I don't think any kid should be starting kindergarten before age 6. My kid goes to private school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 AM Flag
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This is why you plan when to get pregnant. It’s not that hard, people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:22 AM Flag
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Totally normal reply. Not insane or whacky at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:44 AM Flag
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Totally normal reply. Not insane or whacky at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:44 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:48 AM Flag
[ - ] s/o. Why do the broads on here think life is a choice between being a meaningless corporate drone or marrying a short, fat bald man for his money? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:50 PM Flag
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broads? who the fuck are you? humphrey bogart? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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sorry you got triggered [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:58 PM Flag
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This. OP is a balding 28 year old man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 AM Flag
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This place is full of a lot of low intelligence, non-curious people. That, or trolls responding for kicks. Sometimes you'll see a reasoned response, but it's much less common these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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op. I've been on here a decade, and have to agree. There are more and more grasping materialists on here over the years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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Maybe the short, fat bald man was well-educated, kind, smart and loving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:56 PM Flag
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They are insecure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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Awww... are you missing your carbs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 AM Flag
[ - ] This is dumb. Had plans w/a friend last night but she bailed b/c she was "exhausted" (no kids) . Then she ended up going out to dinner w/someone else b/c she "lives around the corner". Am I right to be annoyed? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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She is a liar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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Yes. The only acceptable reasons to cancel after accepting a social engagement are serious illness and a conflicting invitation to the White House. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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worth calling her out? this is a "best" friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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your best friend did this to you? sure, go ahead and ask what is up with that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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She will make shit up and get hostile., this is typical behavior [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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If you have the budget, send her a big flower arrangement with a “Feel Better Soon” balloon, and in the card ask “ How was dinner with Suzie?” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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lololololll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:58 PM Flag
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She’s not that into you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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yeah, she sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:50 PM Flag
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Yes I’d be annoyed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:50 PM Flag
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Not sure why you felt the need to say she has no kids. Other people can do things that make them exhausted. That said, she is a bad friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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I agree but I know some esponses would be "she's probably exhausted w/her kids and has better things to do than hang out w/needy friends" or some sort of snarky comment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:58 PM Flag
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how did you find out she went out to dinner w someone else> ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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she said so. bailed at like 3pm, later in the evening texted like "oh decided to run out and meet judy for dinner, she lives around the corner" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:00 PM Flag
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How long would her commute have been to meet you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:12 PM Flag
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I live in Manhattan, she lives in BK. 30 min? I'm downtown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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Schlepping can be tiring. You can't see this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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that's not cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:12 PM Flag
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I would be very annoyed . If she was that tired why didn't she ask you if you wanted to come to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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What really sucks is that you found out about this. Very little respect shown here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:56 PM Flag
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Well, depends on the amount of travel. Maybe she got a second wind etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:12 PM Flag
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Yes, I would be annoyed, but if's a one-off then cut her some slack. If it's a pattern of behavior, that's something else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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I was like this when I was single. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:58 PM Flag
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Not the point, but childless adults are never allowed to say they are “exhausted” with a straight face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:48 AM Flag
[ - ] okay, at this point I feel like the only selling point of Apple is imessage. Anyone else switch over to an Adroid? I think the Pixel 3 looks fantastic. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Never have had an apple phone & never will. I hate that I have to have an iPod but there is no alternative. Android/PC family here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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I have a pixel 2 and I am very happy with it. Before that I had the pixel, and the Nexus. I hate all of the bloatware that comes with the Iphone and Samsung phones. I like Android, and I prefer to choose my own apps and have a cleaner looking interface. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:46 PM Flag
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Will you get the 3? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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Probably not until this one dies. I got the 2 maybe a year and a half ago and it still works very well. DH will get the 3. I use my phones until they die. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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I love my Apple products. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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If we switch, we will never FaceTime with our parents ever again. It's hard to teach them new things and I fear they won't take to Skype very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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Pixel has a native app called Duo that's very easy to use. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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It's all easy to use, unless you're my ILs. ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Woman stopped black from entering building? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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and fired [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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I don't understand, didn't he have his own key or login? Are we now required to let anyone in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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He had a key. She didn’t let him in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:46 PM Flag
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I was confused by that. It’s clear that she didn’t think he had a key. Why didn’t he just show her his key? What a huge bitch, though. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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But he got in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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Shit, I wouldn't show some racist bitch my key just to prove to her I belonged, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:26 PM Flag
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He did. And why does he have to????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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Teach her to live in building with them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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Sexually frustrated white ladies strike again! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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Damn that Becky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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and 100 times less likely to rape her than a white man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:58 PM Flag
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I don't have a problem with her being fired. In this world of instant video and social media, everything you say and do can be captured. That's what I tell our dcs all the time. There are consequences to actions and when you act like a racist jerk for all the world to see, then most companies would not want you affiliated with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:05 PM Flag
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Let's all hold off judging her until we know the facts, please. Did she ask who he was? Did he respond? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:15 PM Flag
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Um, there's a video. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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Which is unclear. Who was taking that movie? Was the man? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:22 PM Flag
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There is Seinfeld episode on this. He doesn’t let his next door neighbor in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Reco for good catering places for a small birthday party including kids? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Your kitchen. Ellio’s pizza and those frozen chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:18 PM Flag
[ - ] HHI 500k, 2 kids- 1 in public, 1 in private, 1mil saving. What would be your budget for a new apt? Or to ask the other way, how much would you spend on mortgage and maint. fee altogether? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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With one in private maybe 6k. We do close 8k all in on close to 500k and 2 in public and it is fine but that private school tuition would make a big difference in my monthly budget. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:13 PM Flag
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I don't know the answer. But I can say that our HHI is a little less than yours as is our savings. We are paying just under $5k in mortgage and maintenance and we'd never be able to afford private even for one kid. Not even close. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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are you 40 or 50? field working in? growth potential? all these matter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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Your take-home is $275k. You should save at least $75k total for retirement plus the 2 kids' college. So you have $150k left after 1 tuition, roughly $12.5k a month. If you spend $3.5k a month total for insurance, medical, food, utilities, cable, phone, transportation, household essentials, clothes, going out, $1k a month for vacation, holidays, presents, birthday parties, $1k a month for childcare, EC, summer camps...you will have $7k a month left for housing, with no padding for emergency or donation. With only $7k a month, assuming $3k for maintenance and tax, you can afford a $4k mortgage. Assuming you spend $700k of your savings on your down payment and $4k mortgage a month, you can afford a $1.5mm apartment, max. Again, this is all very tight, that's assuming your total childcare, EC and summer camp cost is only $12k for 2 kids for the whole year, which is very low for NYC. If your private ends up telling you your kid needs a tutor, you won't be able to afford that $150 an hour x 8 hours a month. If someone goes wrong with your apt and needs to be fixed, you will need to dig into your savings. If school asks you for a $5k annual fund donation, you will need to dig into your saving or not take a vacation that year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:49 PM Flag
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Wow. Can you come do my accounting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:24 AM Flag
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Thanks:-) Op actually can't afford private tuition. Depending on which side of town they work, she should move to NJ or Forest Hills and do great public and buy a $800k house, that way she can really save for retirement and college. Unless they expect to receive inheritance money or big increases in salary, they are not saving enough for retirement and college at current rate, and won't have enough money for EC for when her kids are older. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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$1.5mm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Need professional advice: I just got my third contract with a law firm/agency that offers part time highly qualified work with great companies. The problem is that after getting hired, the work fizzles almost immediately. The people drag their feet about giving me assignments and so while I am promised 10-20 hours per week each time, I only wind up with 1 or 2. I know that if they the companies were on the hook for a minimum number of paid hours-- 10, 15 or 20-- they would get their asses in gear. I dont know if the agency/firm is paid for initiating the contract or for the number of hours but everyone seems disincentivized to get me actual time once the offer letter is out etc. Should I let them know that I will only continue with a minimum paid? I'm using this to build my resume after being away from practicing for a number of years and the hourly rate would be good but not getting actual work is killing me. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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Sounds like you simply need to find another outlet. It is likely the agency pitches the LACK of a minimum to its clients as a selling point then tells you differently but doesnt guarantee anything. What happens when you complain that 2 hrs isnt 10? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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nothing really. excellent point. it's just that the companies arent accountable. I jump through hoops to get hired- interviews etc, then congratulations all around, offer letter all signed up! the person is congratulated internally for getting extra resources and then they continue being unable to delegate just as before. when you're not on site there is no sense of urgency for them to give you anything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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Your only leverage is to note you will quit if it doesnt get to 10 hrs quick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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ugh! you're totally right. I've been wasting soooooo much time with this company [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know of a super-comfortable sleeper sofa that would be our main bed for the next 10 years or so? :) 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 10.15.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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You're going to sleep on a sofa for 10 years? As a plan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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Yep! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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Ummm you're going to spend more on chiropractor and PT bills than you realize...gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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LC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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No. Such. Thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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Come on, really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Yes, really. Sleeper sofas are for people to sleep on once every couple months when there's a houseguest. Not for you to camp out on 24/7 for 10 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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Yes really [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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scottjordanfurniture.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:48 PM Flag
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When I moved to a studio I had this problem and decided it was better to sit on a bed than sleep on a sofa. Just buy a bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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Is space the issue? My mom got some super fancy Italian couch /Murphy bed combo (so the bed pulled over the couch) for her studio and it was very comfortable, since it was an actual bed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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That sounds like the best option, OP. I have also known people who just suck it up and but a bed in their leaving room. You do what you have to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:31 PM Flag
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I hear American leather is the best one. But. I am not sure it’s comfortable enough to be a substitute for a bed. Don’t have that info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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I doubt it exists. The mechanism of sleeper sofa means the mattress wouldn't be sturdy (too heavy). Their springs are not strong. If you get futon, the mattress will get 'soggy' in couple of months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:06 PM Flag
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have been told American Leather is the best matress. they make cloth sofas, just a funny name. actually saw their matress at room and board too. but, expect to spend $4k++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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Why???? You won't like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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Can you do a Murphy bed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:31 PM Flag
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American Leather. The mattress is nicer than my normal spring mattress. My sister has one and I look forward to staying over! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:12 PM Flag
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Crate and barrel has a one with memory foam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:15 PM Flag
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UB wants to know why you'll be sleeping on a sofa for 10 yrs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Help! For a presentation I need an example of a $250 luxury item vs a $50 no-frills item that would make sense for low-income workers. TIA! 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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I get my ballet flats on sale at Macy's for about $35, they might be $50 regular price. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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jeans [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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lol, you obviously don't know any actual low-income workers. They would NOT spend $50 on jeans! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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I just don't think low-income workers would think of spending $250 on jeans, even on a splurge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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A low-income worker wouldn't spend $50 on jeans either. Unless it was a splurge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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Phone case? Snow boots? Backpack? Tote bag? Earbuds? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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agree uggs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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So Uggs vs Payless? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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You guys are crazy. Nothing costs $50 at payless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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^and if it did, the low-income worker would buy it with coupons, or on sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Sometimes low income people need shoes and we can’t wait for a sale. Shit happens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:46 PM Flag
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Then they'll buy something off the street on Fordham Rd. in the Bx, or used. And it won't cost $50! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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You haven’t been to Payless lately. Bought ds shoes for a funeral. $35 - cheapest at Payless [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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Low-income people don't pay full-price, ever. Ever, ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:51 PM Flag
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OR: well I was trying to think of items that come in a wide range of price points...you can buy a basic phone case for like $40 at the phone store or pay hundreds for a bedazzled Gucci one...snow boots for $30 at Target or $300 at Neiman...Backpack can be $20 or $500 depending on brand...isn't that what your assignment is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Yes, I think I'm going to go with $200 True Religion jeans vs $25 Old Navy. Thanks, all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Jeans are $50 at old navy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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Also $25 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:59 PM Flag
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Go to Costco. They’re $15. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:00 PM Flag
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You had to dig through the other 200 pairs, did you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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Outerwear--like a parka or all-weather jacket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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+1. Or maybe sheets/comforter, bicycle for kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Backpack/messenger bag [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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A coat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Luggage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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This post tells me so much, because most things that cost $50 are NOT affordable to a low-income person, and most things that cost $250 are far from "luxury items". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
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I'm far from poor and wouldn't spend $50 on some of the things listed above even for myself! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:00 PM Flag
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$50 is a luxury item for poor NYers. God, you people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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I can think of a lot more things that have a $5 analogue actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:20 PM Flag
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A pair of loafers or slip on sneakers from M Gemi and a comparable pairs of shoes at tjmaxx. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:53 PM Flag
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T-shirts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Of my great-grandparents, four were born in Mexico (but names like Kelly or O'Leary) and one native American. Damn, I should have made the most of that. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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No one cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:28 PM Flag
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Yes, you messed up, hombre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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The boxer Canelo Alvarez is 100% Mexican and looks like an Irishman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] If you had postpartum depression/anxiety/rage and took meds, what did you take and did it work? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:16 PM Flag
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paxil took away the anxiety in 1 week, mood improved around week 7. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:17 PM Flag
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Stayed on it 8 months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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Prozac, took about 11 days to feel better, stayed on it for about a year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Prozac works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:58 PM Flag
[ - ] DS has a sports team potluck. I was going to purchase some lovely baked goods for dessert for them. Ds is crying and wants me to do homemade? Wtf? I can’t bake or cook. Sigh. 54 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:16 PM Flag
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So tell him no and to man up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:21 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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Tell him next time you can bake together on the weekend, but this time you’re buying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:22 PM Flag
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Whenever my ds has teammates over, I bake a couple boxes of brownies and they eat them up. If you want nicer brownies, make a few boxes of the Ghiradelli brand, very good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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+1 on brownies. So cheap and easy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Those still taste boxed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:51 PM Flag
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And? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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add some stuff - choc chips, peanut butter, whatever. kids will be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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they taste great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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Which brand? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Yuck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Crying because you won't bake?? Sheesh that is reason enough to let him know it's not happening today. I wouldn't even worry about lovely baked goods for a team dinner, these are kids horsing around and stuffing their faces nobody will appreciate the cost or effort of high end food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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He just wants to see that you care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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If your son is more than two years old, this is a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:31 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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How old is this crying son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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Sons are allowed to cry at any age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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Over store bought cookies? FUCKING HELL NO. NO ONE is allowed to cry over store bought cookies. Ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Come on! Clearly the son is crying because the homemade cookies represent something of importance to him. I would be more concerned about why this is so important to my son that he would become emotional about it. Not shame him over the matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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Oh, okay, Freud; that must be it....the cookies represent toilet training and he has buried in his psyche a traumatic memory about cloth diapers and...HOW BOUT THIS? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE FUCKING BANQUET, YOU SPOILED LITTLE FUCKER? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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No they aren’t. Your dh cry over baked goods? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Sorry but you don't make the rules for ALL boys re crying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Who the hell cries b/c their mom bought baked goods instead of making them? IDIOTS, that's who. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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Dude, crying is a completely emotional response to whatever triggered him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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Kind of like the person you are responding is somehow triggered by this post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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Fake. Every child on Earth prefers Dunkin Munchkins to mom’s oatmeal cookies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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Not when every mom on the team bakes oatmeal cookies. My guess is he feels embarrassed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:36 PM Flag
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You think a bunch of elementary school boys are going to shame someone over store bought cookies? LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:41 PM Flag
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Probably not, although would not be surprised if it does not come out later in a taunting episode - your mama can’t cook. I’m guessing the other moms bake the brownies and he feels ashamed regardless if the friends say anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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Lady, it's 2018. Do you really live in a world where pre adolescent kids insult each other's mamas by saying "she can't cook"??? This is also UB where everyone literally lives on take out food. Just stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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Lady, just walk into a subway cart and hear how teenage boys taunt each other. Clearly you are holed up in your apartment with take out food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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Not about their mothers’ cooking, LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:10 AM Flag
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Mine absolutely does not, but he wouldn't cry if I got some decent store bought stuff. Munchkins are gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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As my dc get older and more independent, I jump at the few opportunities I get these days to do these sorts of things for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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Oh, aren't you wonderful. Do you polish your own medals, or send them out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:44 PM Flag
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Oohh. Do you provide that service? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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No, but I might have a saved post on it. Hold for link. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:48 PM Flag
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If you can read you can cook. Really. If he is over 8 years old, he can bake them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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Good idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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Who on earth brings homemade items to a kid's sports potluck? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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Apparently, her son is a pastry snob. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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Rice Krispy treats. So easy to make. Requires no cooking skills and ds can help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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Why can't Dad help with this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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See above - if mom doesn’t fufill her anointed gender role and bake, a boy feels deeply embarrassed and unloved and is taunted by his friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:11 AM Flag
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My friend would dump Stouffer's mac & cheese trays into a nice casserole pot...add some shredded cheese to the top--bake it. Her kid thought it was homemade. (so did we all until she spilled the beans, ha ha). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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Awful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:26 PM Flag
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it as tasty and for a kids' fast potluck it was fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:59 PM Flag
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I am with others telling you that (a) this is ridiculous behavior by your kid but (b) if you must, get brownie mix and make brownies. Some of the mixes (Stonewall Kitchen, for example) are fine, and it is also SO EASY to make homemade brownies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:35 AM Flag
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Tell him to make them himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:52 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some of the coolest special dining experiences in New York just now? Something that hasn't been around more than 2-3 years (doesn't have to be brand new). (Manhattan) Doesn't have to be fancy inside, but would like fantastic food. (anything except Japanese - just because there are so many of them) thanks!!! 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 10.15.18, 07:14 PM Flag
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oh ffs, just go on a disney cruise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:25 PM Flag
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Hey! You’re stealing my line! Plus, in this case, I was going to recommend that rotating dining room on the Marriott Marquis. Not new, but magical!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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They also have one at the Rainforest Cafe that is very good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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OR: I actually love your line, lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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Manhatta [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Chick Fil A [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:50 PM Flag
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I like Vandal downtown. Very interesting menu, the food is delicious, and the service is not pretentious. It's expensive, but worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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I enjoy it too (food snob) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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You might like Frenchette. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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Le Coq Ricco is really good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:34 AM Flag
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Jungsik (2 Michelin stars, super special), and Ugly Baby (Brooklyn but worth it if you want the best Thai in US) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know if I can connect my iPhone to my Dell PC using one of those RCA cables (the red and white plugs like you use for a record player) - I need to use my PCs internet on my phone because it's not working, but that is the only cable I have around. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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no u can not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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do i need to buy a new computer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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the computer puts out the internet, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:13 PM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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the internet comes from the computer, right? like if I can connect to the computer my phone's internet will work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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What??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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Sorry, I am totally not being clear. The computer *generates* the internet, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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nope. The wi-fi generates the internet. The computer uses it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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Can I make my computer give it to my phone though? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:39 PM Flag
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No, it comes through the landline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:25 PM Flag
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Amazed by this question in 2018 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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No need to be snippy - we aren't all tech geniuses like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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LOL what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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use your charger cable and plug into USB port. Turn on the mobile hotspot on your cell phone. chose that from the list on your wifi [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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I don't think my hotspot is mobile - do I need to buy one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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Just download one from the landline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Ok, awesome. Can I plug my phone directly into the landline somehow? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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You have to use the CB3 cord your landline phone has and then get an adaptor. You can get them on amazon. Just look for "landline adaptor". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:44 PM Flag
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I will call Amazon thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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You are welcome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:49 PM Flag
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You lost me at "Dell PC." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:43 PM Flag
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??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Ski moms: Taking DCs (5,10) skiing for the first time. We're planning a simple initial trip to Colorado to see if they will enjoy skiing. I've never tried it because I prefer warm weather. Since we're not sure if we'll continue, I am buying all used equipment, including ski clothing. What brands are best? Specifically, I would like to look for the warmest brands that are easy to wear. Any help you might provide is appreciated. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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Rent the equipment and clothes at the ski resort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:14 PM Flag
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This. Plus less to lug through airports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Don’t buy, rent at the slopes. They may never go again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:15 PM Flag
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Why would you buy and pack all that? Rent there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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OP- I wasn't aware you could rent ski clothes. I would be more interested in purchasing our own clothes. Would definitely rent skis, boots, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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Are you going for winter or spring break? If spring break (March) no need to go nuts with the gear. My dcs have a mix of target and lands end, plus name brand (obermeyer/spider/burton) gloves. Llbean is also good for pants, jackets, layers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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Thanks! We're planning for spring break in March. In looking at used jackets/pants I've seen Spyder, North Face, Roxy, Burton, Obermyer, NILs, Helly Hansen, Bogner, Roxy, etc. Since I have no experience here, I don't know if any of these brands are warmest or perform well. We have North Face jackets for regular winter wear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:38 PM Flag
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Buy long underwear from Lands End and maybe good socks and a turtleneck from Lands End. Ski Pants? Buy used one at ski shops but rent skis at resort. Kids need a jacket to wear, buy one so they have it all winter. Gloves? Buy used. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Does red shirting really increase the chances of getting into a tt school? Have a Summer bday boy and not sure what to do. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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You apply when they are "young" and let them tell you he's too young and to come back next year. So really you get two bites at the apple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:03 PM Flag
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The school decides not the parents in nyc privates. You will get “too young” and there is nothing you can do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:05 PM Flag
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I don’t think so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Hunter High School cut scores are up: 625 for both ELA and Math. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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AGAIN? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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Fake News [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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? It's up on their website; application period is now officially open. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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6th time this has been posted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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Is it the same cut off for each race or are the cut offs race normed like Harvard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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You sound sexually frustrated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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What about middle school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:39 PM Flag
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I hoped it would be higher. Feel like all DCs friends will be taking the test! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:42 PM Flag
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For real [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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So honestly, who is having their DC do formal prep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:56 PM Flag
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How many applicants for how many spots estimated ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:28 PM Flag
[ - ] I would be supremely happy as a trust fund baby or married to a rich DH as a SAHM with help. I realize that most of my problems and psychological issues directly relate to money or lack thereof. Having to work for a living really kills my spirit and my corporate working experience had been primarily unrewarding and at times horrible and denigrating. 237 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:56 PM Flag
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I'm the opposite. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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What keeps you going? YOu must love your job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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I do. In-house lawyer, organization I care about, great people. Also important is balance. I don't live my job, it's a part of my life as well as other stuff. Don't make a huge salary but tons of money has never been my goal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:20 PM Flag
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THIS. I went for a meaningful career over corporate law/finance. I also skipped the asshole finance rageaholic DH. Women who married for money are on here obsessing over divorce every day all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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Law still pays well, at least low 6 figures even if you are not in soul sucking type of it. It's good that you like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:04 PM Flag
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You and me both, sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:22 PM Flag
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Totally agree. I could have written this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Whoops, meant to reply to OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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Same here. Parents should think twice before pushing their kids into a profession they feel nothing about. Life is long, and it's not easy to spend half of it doing something you don't give a shit about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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OR happens to like law and law pays well. If your DC doesn't like law/finance/tech/medicine what do you think your advice would be for them? They won't make a living in certain cities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:02 PM Flag
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Way to miss the point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:29 PM Flag
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What's there to miss? What if something you like pays 40-50K a year, can you afford this job when you also need a babysitter? It's great when something you like pays decent 6 figures, makes it easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:11 PM Flag
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++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:28 PM Flag
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I agree. it is such a terrible taboo to say but money does allow you to avoid misery. I was working class then inherited serious money and am now so much happier [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:58 PM Flag
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Thank you for being honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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This, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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are you that shallow and materialistic that you can't even imagine a person telling the truth when they say money just isn't that important to them? sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:49 AM Flag
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No I cannot imagine anyone being happy without some sort of financial security, some feeling that there will be shelter and food and medicine provided no matter what, safe neighborhood for kids and schools. Because you need money for even these basics, I believe it's important. Without money you have to be one of the people who are happy living homeless or scraping the bottom and personally it would make me incredibly unhappy, so call me shallow and materialistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:31 AM Flag
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OK, what you've done here is messed up. The OP was about being a trust fund baby, not having to work, living the life of luxury. The subsequent discussion was about marrying rich to get all of this. That's called greed. You're justifying it by painting an image of deprivation and struggle just to survive -- as if it's one or the other. The vast, vast majority of Americans don't live in either extreme. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Vast majority of Americans don't have financial stability or a nest egg, newer generations won't be retiring like boomers. And if Social security goes bankrupt we will quickly become 3rd world. You are very delusional as to how poor lots of people are and how many life hand to mouth and work essentially for basics. Even if OP is not one of them, it's irrelevant. Even in your UMC bubble many people are worried what lives their kids will be able to afford as they don't have much to help them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:18 PM Flag
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the vast majority of people in the world live this way, and many of them manage to have happy, successful lives. you're backing yourself into a corner where you have to be rich to be happy. you keep changing the goalposts to make that argument. Suddenly, it's not enough to be middle class because middle class people still have financial insecurity. Sorry, but there are many financially insecure people who still manage to have happy lives in part because they don't think their lives need to be perfect to be enjoyable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:21 PM Flag
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I don't wish I were rich because I want my life to be perfect. I wish I were rich because then I could buy my mother a house - the most wonderful, kind, loving person who has given me EVERYTHING - I could make her comfortable. I could show her just how much I appreciate her by giving her something she has always dreamt of. But I can't. And that makes me unhappy. Is my life over? No. Do I experience moments of happiness? All the time. But if I had a huge windfall of money and could buy my beloved, wonderful mother a house - I would be VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY HAPPY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:55 PM Flag
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Yes, it's an example of the problem that money can solve and that can make someone very happy. I feel the same way as I would love to buy some more comforts for my family and DH's. When you grew up poor or LMC and are still surrounded by family members you see struggling with basics every day, you feel helpless, even if you are more successful and you can help a little bit, you just don't have enough to make much difference in their lives. FWIW, when DH's parents had dental issues and no money to fix it, we paid for their implants and it gave us great satisfaction, just a little bit of happiness money was able to buy. We paid for my nephews SAT prep classes, send family on a beach vacation they could never afford, co-signed on an apartment for a close relative so that his child could go to a good school district, bought a used car for FIL and cosigned on a car loan for SIL so that she could have her business. Money does buy happiness, so f you all who say otherwise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:45 PM Flag
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The people here saying that money doesn't buy happiness are being dishonest or contrarian. Happiness is buying one's mother a house, paying anything needed to make one's grandparent's comfortable, treating a beloved friend to a nice gift, giving to a charity that makes a difference in the world, surprising a waiter with an unexpected huge tip that might change their month, spending anything needed to get the new generation of the family set up - education, etc. That is happiness acquired through money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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I bet that's what slave owners told themselves. Look, the slaves are singing and dancing around their squalid huts, and they make love and have babies - they must be so happy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:37 PM Flag
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How did you inherit serious money if you were working class? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:19 PM Flag
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Read The Millionaire Next Door [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:34 PM Flag
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Ffs, not that stupid airport book again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:51 AM Flag
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Do you know the premise? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:35 PM Flag
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My plan is suicide. Good night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:47 AM Flag
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I am sorry, I hope you get lucky and things turn around! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:47 PM Flag
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Do you keep a detailed written budget of your money? I find that this helps anxiety. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 06:59 PM Flag
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I do it periodically, it helps. But I know that I am not going to escape having to work for a living, it's just a fact of life for those of us not born into money who have to build our lives from scratch and whose parents are barely taking care of themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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I have seen personally what is the only beneficial and appropriate course of action for people: to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in all their hard work on earth during the few days of their life which God has given them, for this is their reward. To every man whom God has given wealth, and possessions, he has also given him the ability to eat from them, to receive his reward and to find enjoyment in his toil; these things are the gift of God. For he does not think much about the fleeting days of his life because God keeps him preoccupied with the joy he derives from his activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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-King Solomon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:01 PM Flag
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He was thinking more toiling in eucalyptus groves, less corporate world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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I think you can feel free to rule out any gibberish written by the elites at times of slavery and serfdom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:07 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:26 PM Flag
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Zzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:02 PM Flag
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Money does not make you happy, but for me money allowed me the freedom to find what it is that makes me happy and I found it!!! I strongly suggest that everyone try to get money if they can [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:03 PM Flag
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What did you find? Please share [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:08 PM Flag
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I found that money is important. Young good looking women should try to marry a nice and kind man with money and skip the men without money. skip them. I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:10 PM Flag
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My friends selected husbands on the basis of looks, all my friends ignored the short fat bald guys with $. Big mistake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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you know there are other criteria for mate selection than looks vs. money, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:38 AM Flag
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Well choosing on looks is the worst mistake there is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:23 AM Flag
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and yet the single women on this board are out there spending vast amounts of time, emotional energy and money trying to maximize their looks to catch a man. Nobody ever questions the wisdom of this. If it's a bad idea for a woman to choose based on looks, isn't it an equally bad idea to be the woman some man chose based on looks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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Yes it’s a bad idea on either side. No one is stating otherwise. Unfortunately men usually care so much about it that women have to play along [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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And anyways only a very small portion of men get their pick of the pretty girls. Beyond that most are delusional and should take what they can get [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:13 PM Flag
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to an extent. but i think focussing on looks as a way to catch a man is a sucker's game. you can only put your time and effort into so many things, and inevitably you end up neglecting more important parts of your character and development that would keep a DH interested and happy after the looks fade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:44 PM Flag
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Too late for OP I suppose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:12 PM Flag
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This is just, no. This is not an auto ticket to happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:50 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:22 AM Flag
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So money DOES make you happy because it gave you the ability to float around till you found something you loved. If you didn't have the money you wouldn't have this freedom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:30 PM Flag
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I like working. My ideal job would something like a highly paid freelance consultant or something where I could work part time and still make a decent salary. Being stuck at home all the time sucks. Being around kids all day with no adult interaction sucks. Work part time and having a nanny would be the best of both worlds for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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I would be happy with this if I could make this happen. Well paying PT jobs are a unicorn though. Most positions that pay what I need to make are corporate slog. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:09 PM Flag
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The grass is always greener. Plenty of rich people are depressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:11 PM Flag
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This is true. But it's better to be depressed in with some free time and in a large, comfortable house without shivering because of lack of heat, than it is to be depressed while an asshole is shouting at you to mop the McDonald's floor faster on your 12th hour of work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:22 PM Flag
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It is good to have something to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:23 PM Flag
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When you want it. It's not so good when you always have something do to someone else tells you to do when you would rather be elsewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:51 PM Flag
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This is why employment laws are important. The way we treat people matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:55 AM Flag
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Actually being poor is educational. Trust fund children do drugs and act brats because they've never lived a meager life nor appreciate what they have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:54 AM Flag
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OP here. I am not a trust fund child and was working since I was in my teens, my family was poor and needed my meager earnings. I know that side of life already, so I would love to experience the other. Bring it on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:33 AM Flag
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You are making the opposite point you think you are making. Trust fund kids can experiment with drugs, make some mistakes, and then decide they've learned from those mistakes and bounce back and still live a good life. A poor kid? They can experiment with drugs, make mistakes, and wind up in jail for the rest of their lives. Life is done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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This. If I made mistakes in my youth instead of focusing on school, college and getting a high paying job, I would be in very reduced circumstances now. Perhaps not jail, but homeless shelter would not be out of the question. At best I would be able to live LMC life. Because I have already experienced it, I put a lot of effort to not end up there, it's the reason I work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:30 PM Flag
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And said people would be even worse off without money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:40 PM Flag
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LOL, no shit. Poor depressed people end up on the streets and their kids taken by DCPS if they don't have public housing. Depressed MC/UMC kids end up back in their parent's house, and depressed wealthy end up in fancy therapy and have FT help take care of home/kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:33 PM Flag
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False equivalency. They are depressed with excellent healthcare, extended lifespans, no bill worries or fear that paying medical costs for them or their children would bankrupt the household. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:42 PM Flag
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Exactly. It is bewildering that people here are choosing (I guess?) not to see this. Are these all wealthy people? If so, they are more out of touch with the world than I ever could have imagined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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Or fear that they won't be able to hold their job and will end up evicted and homeless without will power to apply for public assistance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:34 PM Flag
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Too much money can be just as tragic as very little money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:18 PM Flag
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Oh, yes. Tragic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:41 PM Flag
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The Onassis women come to mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:46 PM Flag
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There is tragedy that is unrelated to one's financial situation. I am not talking about money buying you way out of any possible human misery, there are problems money cannot solve. But majority of our problems are money related and financial stress is a cause of major problems in most families. Removing this stress does help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:39 AM Flag
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Not quite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:43 PM Flag
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Who are these people that believe this? This is shocking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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Isn't this true of everyone? How many people would actually CHOOSE to work if they had 500 million in the bank? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:24 PM Flag
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I would choose to do something, yes. I really like my job.Am I the minority? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:29 PM Flag
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Most jobs are hell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:32 PM Flag
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First OR above. I'm with you. I like creating stuff and making stuff. Pure leisure is not appealing to me at all. I need to be doing something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:33 PM Flag
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I do too, but I also want to have freedom, no unrealistic deadlines and asshole people to deal with. I think I could like a job where I could be creative, productive and have no bureaucratic BS and cluelessly assigned deadlines and having to deal with backstabbing and disrespectful people, which describes 95% of corporate jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:55 PM Flag
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Exactly this. And guess what can provide the circumstances for having a job like this?? Lots of money! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:51 PM Flag
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I work a 9 - 5 job, and I have to be here every day. Right now I have the most MISERABLE menstrual cramps that make me want to curl up in a fetal position. Not to mention all the other symptoms. It is so, so painful and uncomfortable. Guess where I am? At work. Because I am not rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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what? all the billionaires are still working. you dont just throw in the towel because you dont need more money. people need to do something productive in some way regardless of money situation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:40 PM Flag
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Yea, I am sure their "working" situation is the same as those of us who have bills to pay. They have an army of workers and assistants to do anything they do not like to do. Most wealthy spend their mental power making decisions, not to say it's easy, but it's very different from soulless grind work most of us must do to make a living. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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but they had to start somewhere to get t o where they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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So did everyone else. We all started somewhere. I started working in my teens because my family needed extra money to pay rent. I worked FT when I went to college and long hours afterwards. I know people who worked 2 jobs to put food on the table and they worked hard. People who have to work for a living till old age are not forced to do so because they are lazy and lack work ethic. Not everyone can be a billionaire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:46 AM Flag
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Very few and pretty much non traditional jobs and trust me they would quit the moment they dislike something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:52 PM Flag
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Of course. This is obvious to anyone who is being honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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i worked for a prestigious cultural institution, the kind where it cost $100k to be on the board, and the rich women on there treated it like a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:37 AM Flag
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I assure you they didn't take shit like women who are working for a paycheck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:48 AM Flag
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actually they seemed like neurotic messes. the wealthy, park avenue philanthropist crowd was their whole world, and you better believe they took it seriously. They also needed to be successful at it for their husbands' careers sometimes. When things didn't go well for them, they didn't just shrug and say, i'll go eat bon bons since I don't need the money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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And where would they end up should they fail being successful in their charity endeavors? Will they be evicted from their 5th ave penthouse and have to go rent a garden apartment in deeply residential Queens/Bronx and send kids to whatever public schools? Would they have to postpone getting dental work done or sell their car and all their jewelry and luxury items to pay for healthcare? I get it that stakes are high in the circles of uber rich, but should they fail, they fall on an ample fat cushion made of millions and can at least go and have a quiet life still full of luxury often in the same place or another high COL area. I bet they still will get to keep their kids in private schools, and all their household help and not skip a round of botox. So, their DH won't get a partnership piece somewhere and they won't be invited to another Gala? Their lives are ruined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:42 PM Flag
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all of that should be true, theoretically, and yet it's not. rates of suicide and depression are higher among the rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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Can you cite this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:16 PM Flag
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just google it, lots comes up. this has been well studied. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:39 PM Flag
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You are right. Depression often arises from feelings of worthlessness and uselessness. Many people who have nowhere to go and nothing to do can get depressed, we are wired like this. The poor cannot afford depression like this, they just kill themselves differently - drugs, crime, homelessness. Same result eventually. Misery doesn't discriminate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:57 PM Flag
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If they are public personas I can see that they can be immensely stressed. This life is not for everyone. But then again, I hope it was their choice, you don't have to become a persona just because you have money, easy enough to stay under the radar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:57 PM Flag
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but realistically what are you going to do if you are independently wealthy and don't work? women in that life who don't join boards or start foundations are seen as pathetic and a waste of life. you might live 'under the radar' but you are known to others of your class and they expect you to do charity work. a minority have the talent and drive to throw themselves into the equestrian circuit. otherwise, if all you do is travel and live for yourself, you're like those eurotrash everyone looks down on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:12 PM Flag
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Honestly, I would go back to school, get a Ph.D and maybe an academic career, teach, do research. That's what I always wanted, but could not afford. I would not do circles of non-profits or chair anything or organize anything. Not my thing to be such a politico socialite, I am a nerd. I would donate to charities and volunteer, primarily helping children and homeless and disadvantaged youth, but I am not interested to be a part of the scene to pursue some petty ambitions. I would help our families make their lives tremendously better. I would also travel a lot and take my kids around the world. I would allow them to pursue whatever careers they LOVE, not something to make money like I did, because I had no choice. Giving my kids choices would be the greatest gift, helping family would be the greatest gift, donating to charity and being able to make an impact in lives of others would be a greatest gift. I can see myself as a very happy rich lady with a full life. I am sorry so many of you disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:08 PM Flag
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^^And I would also free DH from having to work his job he also hates. I would love to have him back they way he was, not burdened and stressed. It would honestly make me happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:09 PM Flag
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I assure you that you are wrong and your fantasy of being rich is typical of people who have no exposure to this world. the politics in their world are utterly nasty and played at a very sophisticated, devastating level. And they feel trapped by it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Please sign me up for the "trap" of having people I don't care about talk shit about me while I stroll my beautiful townhouse, travel whenever I want, stay home when I feel sick instead of dragging my ass to work, and spend my time as I wish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:50 PM Flag
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If you lived in this world you would care ENORMOUSLY what those people thought of you, dummy. You're viewing it from the perspective of someone who has been parachuted into that world all of a sudden. For them, it's all there is, that's the trapped part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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People outside of that world also have to worry about what people think about them AND their bills, dummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:41 PM Flag
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are you the person above who pictures herself being airdropped into a mansion and doesn't understand why people who have been raised in a certain world, with certain expectations, can't just act like they won the lottery every day of their lives? LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:17 PM Flag
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It makes me sad that people like you exist, that you think that because independently wealthy people have "expectations" that it's a problem equivalent to what working people experience. Well, I guess the good news is that if one of your loved ones ever faces a grave illness, you will have lots of funds to give treatment to your loved one. Lucky you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:57 PM Flag
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ok, moron. how many times do you have to be told that nobody is equating rich and poor? you don't get it at all, and you know NOTHING about the way i was raised. read what's being said at the end of this thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:08 PM Flag
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If you have the tool ($$$) to solve/ameliorate many of life's greatest problems/tragedies - illness, infertility, insecurity in basic needs, freedom of movement to combat loneliness - then that is the tool to achieve greater happiness than people who have to live with these problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:32 PM Flag
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This. PP thinks there is zero politics and stress in corporate world unless you get to the tippity top. There are layers upon layers of workers all grumbling for the same spots slightly higher up that are getting fewer and fewer. Corporate world is a bunch of hungry animals fighting for scraps with a few B-types who had completely checked out and are just doing the minimum to not get laid off and pay the bills. Even public school and neighborhood SAHM circles have their own politics not to mention the joys of PTA. And all of these people have to manage their little stresses and also pay the bills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:56 PM Flag
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well obviously. the point is everyone has stresses -- your happiness has much more to do with how you handle those stresses and what you prioritize in life. that's how it's possible that Latina immigrants working 100 hours a week can be happier than trust funders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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It's possible, but it's a myth, don't delude yourself please. Nobody working 100 hours for basic food and shelter is going to be happy long term. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:12 PM Flag
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They trap themselves, it's their choice, they are not forced into these circles. Are you going to tell me that a person with immense fortune has limited choices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:47 PM Flag
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This shit is laughable. "Wealthy people are TRAPPED!" Then...what are we? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:49 PM Flag
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we're trapped in very different ways. it's what we do with our life circumstances that determines whether we're happy. i guarantee there are poor black people in wheelchairs who are happier than a lot of park avenue types. haven't you ever wondered why that is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:01 PM Flag
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Read this. I'm sorry to be cruel, but your eyes are a bit closed to reality and I would trade places with you tomorrow. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/09/01/641615877/insulins-high-cost-leads-to-lethal-rationing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:04 PM Flag
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i work in health care, i know the stories. doesn't change anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:37 PM Flag
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I get it that some people are happier than others and it's not money related. People on meds are also happier, people on drugs are also temporarily happier. Meditating monks are happier. So what? There are still people struggling every day with basic problems money CAN solve, many more of them in the world than anecdotal happy Latina women working 100 hour weeks or poor guys in wheelchairs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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rich people don't live their lives as though they won the lottery. you're picturing being dropped into that life with all your current values and attitudes. they are raised very differently. for example, their families are utterly obsessed with the family money, and make it clear that you are only a temporary custodian of it, and it is not really yours. And that you need to keep up appearances at all times in order to be worthy of the life you were born into. You are not free. I've been exposed to the rich and the poor and I genuinely don't know which life I'd prefer. I'm glad I'm just middle class, even though I live pay check to pay check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:59 PM Flag
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so true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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You need to find work that you enjoy more. Work that makes you feel good about yourself. That will make all the difference, trust me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:28 PM Flag
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THIS x 1 million. Why would you expect to be happy working as a corporate tool? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:53 PM Flag
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I don't. But unfortunately it's the only route I know to make enough money we need to make do here. At this point I cannot afford to quarter my income to get a fun job with flex hours or to start at a new career from scratch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:51 AM Flag
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I just don't buy the argument that you have to sell your soul to live in NYC. I always had meaningful work in media and non profits, and we scraped by. Just like my friends. None of us had any family help or lived in rent controlled apartments. (Some were rent stabilized; others lived on the margins of brownstone brooklyn etc). We kept it up when we had kids. We were happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:56 PM Flag
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I think you are right. The problem is when you work for someone else, especially a big company, they own you and your time and there is always tons of bureaucracy and watching your back. If you want to do something freelance you don't have income security, so it's a trade. I am going to need to find this unicorn flex hours job that pays me what I need to make. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:00 PM Flag
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BS. I wasn’t nuts when I was broke, and I’m not nuts now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 07:51 PM Flag
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That's the point, you are not broke if you are rich and choose not to work or work a low paying job you like during hours you prefer. If you are not born into money and didn't marry into it you better work, or it will be worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 08:05 PM Flag
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I will never understand people on the internet who pretend that they would chose to be a working person over a billionaire who never has to work or worry about money. Why are you pretending?? This is anonymous. You have no one to impress, and you know it's bullshit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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You really don't think there are women on here who choose to work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:06 PM Flag
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I believe there are people who love their jobs, it's just not true for majority of people. At least that's not what I observe around me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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The reading comp on here is horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 09:52 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:08 PM Flag
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Another reading comp fail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:18 PM Flag
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Most billionaires who made their own fortunes continue to work. SHOCKING! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 PM Flag
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They don't work in the same sense as schmucks who must pay their bills, how shocking is that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:02 PM Flag
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They work for that proverbial seat at the table - true raw political power, power of decision over the fate of the country and perhaps the world at large, they want to be immortal, remembered with their names etched into history. It can take billions to get there. Or are you thinking they are working to afford a longer yacht or another vacation house, newsflash, they can already buy all material goods that money can buy, many of them are richer than entire countries in this world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:41 PM Flag
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You would just replace your current problems with new problems if that were the case. Happiness is genetic. Grass is always greener. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:02 PM Flag
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I want these new problems, bring it on. Let all my current problems go away and we will see. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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This is insulting to people who stay up at night wondering how they will pay their rent next month or how they will buy their kids' school supplies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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Trust fund baby with rich DH here. You would just have a whole new set of problems. Family suing each other over trust fund money, stealing from one another, manipulating one another, etc. BTDT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:03 PM Flag
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Seconding. It's lonely at the top too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:45 AM Flag
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You do realize that poor people also deal with duplicitous people, family drama, theft, etc., right? If someone steals $10k from you, you might be offended. If someone steals $10k from someone living paycheck to paycheck, they might wind up on the street. Do you see that? The problems are NOT the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:56 PM Flag
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Studies show that more money after HHI of 70k a year does not increase happiness and actually decreases happiness. The more money you have the more you are able to see and interact with people way richer than you and then you are just sad you are only a decamillionaire and not a billionaire. Happiness comes from being grateful for what you hate. Your health, your family, your hobbies. More money would not make you happier, it would only make you focus on different problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:05 PM Flag
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I will get flamed but did this study only surveyed people in Haiti? $70k is not enough for nearly anywhere in the U.S. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:32 PM Flag
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It was a study in the US. The amount in other countries was far lower. Basically if you have enough money for food and a roof over your head and medical care, then any additional money does not correlate to more happiness. Happiness is instead a function of your attitude, your relationships with friends and loved ones, your appreciation for what you have, and you genetic disposition to being thankful versus being neurotic. Basically the point to this is don't look at money as a solution to happiness. Look inside at your own character and how you can reach out to your loves ones and improve your relationships and be more grateful for what you have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:56 PM Flag
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To state it another way, if you are not food insecure, housing insecure, or medical care insecure, then everything else is a matter of your personal value choices. If you value keeping up with the jones and spending more money for things you don't need (anything other than food or housing or medical care you don't need.) then you are going to always be unhappy no matter how much money you have because then you just boost up to the next level of Jonese and then want even more money. Happiness comes from what you do for others, your hobbies, your passions, your relationships with loved ones and with your community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:00 AM Flag
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You are forgetting that only very few people are not food/housing/medical care insecure without having to WORK for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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^^and when you have to work for it, there is also that thing called unemployment and being afraid of losing your job, which adds tremendous stress to working class population. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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To have enough money you need to WORK. WORK is what makes some people unhappy. What is so hard to understand about it? Is this survey done among retired population or population of those who have 70K fall from the sky every year where there is no stress of working for it, dealing with PITA bosses and customers, being afraid of layoffs every day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:17 PM Flag
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I read this too, and also their book. Two researchers in Boston, so consider the source? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 AM Flag
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70k a year there is no money left over for hobbies. I agree w the principle concept here, that after a certain amount, it’s diminishing returns, but that amount is way of 70k in nyc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:28 AM Flag
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This is a complete BS. A deca millionaire is not more miserable that he/she is not a billionaire than a person subsisting on 70K in a high COL area having to count pennies and live paycheck to paycheck. This makes no sense at all. There is a point where certain level of wealth is achieved that gives one not only financial security and ability to not work, but also luxuries. And that level is most definitely not requiring billion dollars, not even in highest COL cities of the world. Are you going to tell me that a stress from not being able to afford a private jet is comparable to the stress of not being able to pay rent and having to move to a crappy unsafe area with bad schools or for some people going to homeless shelter? Stress of not being able to afford a decent health insurance or living in a crumbling apartment with mold, because that's all you can afford is not the same as stress of not being able to drop multi-million donation to your kid's private school or not being able to afford a 20 mil Hamptons estate. Don't be fooled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:14 PM Flag
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These people are all delusional or dishonest. You said this perfectly. I'll wish on a star that $10 million falls out of the sky and into your lap :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:58 PM Flag
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No you would not be supremely happy. I have hundreds of friends with trust funds and none of them are supremely happy. In fact I would say they are the most miserable bunch of people I know always angry and self pitying and entitled and mad at every little slight from someone. The happiest people I know are Latina immigrants. Always going to family events like birthdays and quinceneras and weddings and always have family support and people to help with the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 10:08 PM Flag
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ILY half of my family is Latina. I married well and now feel like a trust fund baby and I was so much happier around my Latina friends and family working 100 hours a week than I am now. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:46 AM Flag
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Ok, give me all your money and go back living with your Latina family, have fun and GL, I hope your problems will all go away with your money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:25 PM Flag
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That’s not how it works. You all imagine to keep your life now and win the lottery. Imagine moving to a place you don’t like say Detroit or Nairobi, and the only person you know is your DH, and remember you keep nothing - no hobbies, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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It's appearances. You don't know what problems you have because you had never lived their life. I know it first hand. There are issues, like health issues that go untreated because there is no money, teeth that cannot be replaced, apartment that has issues and mold that there are no funds to remediate. No vacations whatsoever, imagine this. A camping trip once every 2 years to a beach within driving distance is all you get. Old cars that are falling apart and stress of fixing or replacing them. Older people working cleaning jobs when they should be retired. I've seen it and it's not as glamorous as you describe, you are deluded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:24 PM Flag
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oh come on, nobody thinks it's glamorous to be poor. but the research shows despite this grind and worry, poor people can be happier than rich people if they have satisfying relationships and feel cared for. That's what matters in life. Rich people who have that really do have it all, but many rich people are isolated by their money and the need to keep up appearances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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This need is their own choice and rich people have lots and lots of choices. Personal relationships have NOTHING to do with money, you are right. And you must understand that poor and LMC and MC and UMC are not excused from these problems. These are NOT problems of the rich, these are human problems. Do you think poor people have this big happy family and have each other's backs and there is no jealousy, backstabbing and judgement and even trying to steal from each other? The researchers are a bunch of clueless fucks, excuse my language, who live in their ivory towers and brainwash masses with mindless questionnaires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:13 PM Flag
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Thank you for stating so clearly what all these extremely delusional people can't seem to grasp. Seeing so many people say "more money is not better because rich people have interpersonal problems" is actually extremely disheartening, because they make decisions and vote based on this distortion of reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:47 PM Flag
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that is not what people are saying. you don't understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:49 PM Flag
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of course not, poor families are often more stressed and broken. the point is that research shows once you meet a basic minimum, wealth doesn't make you happier. that said, a lot of people on here think having to drag themselves to work with cramps is contributing to their unhappiness in a meaningful way. it's not. nobody said life should be easy. and ease and happiness are not the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:47 PM Flag
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I completely disagree with you about the person working with cramps not being happier if she could effortlessly take a day off. Sure, one day of this won't grind you down, but eventually years of this rat race life does grind you down. It's far more common than your happy anecdotal Latina woman working 100 hours that keeps getting mentioned here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:54 PM Flag
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I have enough money that DH and I can work any job and still have a nice life in Manhattan (not drivers and flying first class but nice). I'm so glad that my bbn parents reinforced choosing a career I wanted to do every day, becausenI have that and dh works a good not for profit job and we eat dinner as a family most nights [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:04 PM Flag
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OP, how much do you make a year at this unrewarding, at times denigrating job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.15.18, 11:28 PM Flag
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No you wouldn't. You'd go back to your baseline level of (un)happiness within a year. There are thousands of depressed and anxious rich SAHMs with help--who do you you think keeps all the manhattan therapists in business? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:25 AM Flag
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I can assure you that I won't be one of them. I find enjoyment if very simple things, but they require time which I don't have. I also would be less anxious and a lot less stressed without having to work and with not only having my basics covered but also having a few luxuries, like vacations, trips out and not having to deal with inconveniences of the poor I am accustomed to since childhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:29 PM Flag
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You know, I'm going to say it: You're right. I married a trust funder and while I had worked my a*s off in my career, his income enabled me/us to make choices that many people simply can't. I work part-time, still in my field, and it just makes everything for our family easier while still letting me work in something I really enjoy. The flexibility that money affords is life-changing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:41 AM Flag
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the reason it works for you is that your DH is probably a decent guy. Women who marry for money often end up with assholes who make their lives miserable. They're so caught up in 'catching' a rich man they ignore the signs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:44 AM Flag
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Totally agree (OR). I didn't marry him for money, I had my own life going and even already owned my own apartment (albeit in a beat area, but still). And money does come with its own issues, which are of no interest to anybody, really, and shouldn't be. But I've been able to be home with the kids and still keep my career, which is simply amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:52 AM Flag
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NP I would have loved to have kept my career part time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:47 AM Flag
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There are rich assholes and poor assholes, don't generalize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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This. It’s all about the lack of financial stress and afforded choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:55 AM Flag
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Choices becomes a problem. Read about the Stanford jam study. Less choice is better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:12 AM Flag
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fewer choices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 AM Flag
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More effective than a condom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:00 AM Flag
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I have a friend like this, and she has a major career (works a lot), while he’s SAHD with nanny and does very little. I feel like that set-up would make me unhappy. And it’s not like they’re that rich, but they’re comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:42 AM Flag
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Me.Fucking.Too. Corporate life sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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why can you only imagine the life of a meaningless corporate tool or the life of leisure? there's plenty in between if you realize you don't "need" fancy private schools, luxury vacations and to live in a doorman building in Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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I don't have any of that, not sure why you think corporate world is about people making high 6 figures-7 figures to afford all the Manhattan UMC life trappings. Most of us work for a lot less glamorous lives. We do public schools, private is not even a consideration, rent a 2 bedr, our vacations are pretty modest, luxury travel it is not. To have this I must work in the corporate world, or I won't make enough, DH makes half of HHI. I cannot even afford a job not paying enough to not cover FT childcare. To make a change we will have to move somewhere else, both of us looking for new jobs, uprooting kids from their good public school which was hard to get into, potentially living far from families. The point is we cannot just retire and hope our savings will last and then there will be social security and medical care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:39 PM Flag
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I seriously do not answer any posts. When I was 33, I watched human beings jump to their death From the World Trade Center . Now I just enjoy life. Money is fine. Happiness is friends, family, community. Everything else is ruined by stupid baby boomers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:19 AM Flag
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That's an interesting perspective, I suppose when you witness so much death and survive it, it gives you something else to think about. I would be right there with you if I were single. But with kids I find it hard to be so philosophical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 11:55 AM Flag
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I remember when I had a baby I started panicking about money and blaming myself for my stupidity in not getting a soulless corporate job. Then I picked up the Sunday NYT and a woman wrote the exact same thing -- that when you have kids in NYC you start to think it's somehow reckless and irresponsible not to have gone into finance. But she said that passed, and sure enough, that feeling did pass as I realized you can raise kids very well without money -- sometimes better, because it forces you to do a lot of the care yourself, not hire it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Being a SAHM is not an option for everyone, I bring half of our HHI. We cannot afford to rent our place and save a little and have kids do sports and have some vacations without my income. And I already lived very LMC life and I know that I don't want it again. I grew up poor and hated it, it's very very overrated. Stop glamorizing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:42 PM Flag
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not one person on this board is glamorizing poverty. come on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:43 PM Flag
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I'm a baby boomer and I'm only approximately about four years older than you. I feel the same way you do. Don't know why my generation is any different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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Yes exactly ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:45 AM Flag
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All the people hear saying "rich people have problems too! It's just the same!" have never even KNOWN someone non-rich, and live in a bubble of wealth. If you had ever even HEARD of someone experiencing the pain and anxiety of having no money, you wouldn't dare something like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:03 PM Flag
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oh stop. stop acting like all we're doing is comparing rich vs. poor and saying they're the same. Nobody is doing that. The entire post is about whether you would be happier if you married for money. If you're on UB with any frequency you know that life choice frequently bites you in the ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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Reading comp issues? NO ONE said it was exactly the same. Just that rich people have serious problems too. Not all the problems in life are financial. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:02 PM Flag
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And not all non-financial problems are only reserved for the rich. Plenty of dysfunction in poor communities and families as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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On top of and exacerbated by money problems! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:00 PM Flag
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I've had it both ways - homeless three times - and wealthy twice. Guess what? Everyone has problems, and I'd say those problems are equal as to stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:37 PM Flag
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Were you young when you were poor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:54 PM Flag
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This. I grew up poor and it's very overrated. Rich people and those who grew up UMC love to tell themselves lies about how happy poor and LMC are with their large bonded families and their community and coming joyfully from their crappy jobs singing songs and having a family dinner. They think that depression, anxiety, stress, mental issues, addictions, and terrible family relationships are reserved ONLY for the rich and poor are immune from them. How delusional. Why do you think those of us who grew up poor/LMC strive to earn more and buy better lives for our families? Because we loved our shitty lives of living hand to mouth? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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I don't understand why they are arguing this. It's basic logic. Having lots of money to control your time and say "if someone in my life got cancer, we would fly them all over the country/world to the top specialists and get the HIGHEST level of care" is INHERENTLY BETTER than thinking "if someone in my family got cancer, what impact would the medical bills have on our finances? And I wish I could take a few months off work to care for them, but I can't because I am working for food and a roof". Yes, option A is inherently better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:04 PM Flag
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Sing it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:58 PM Flag
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only a small number of unlucky people are so shallow and devoid of character that material possessions would truly make them happiest. for the rest, once you're no longer struggling to get basic needs met, you are going to be much happier by focussing on family, relationships, meaningful work and artistic or intellectual pursuits. Period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:47 PM Flag
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smartest person on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 03:52 PM Flag
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From the land of Unicornia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:57 PM Flag
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That's the point - I wish I didn't have to work to earn money because it could free up MY TIME to spend with family, friends, and intellectual pursuits. Money and material possessions, in themselves, are worthless. The most valuation commodity on earth is TIME. Money buys time to do those things that are truly precious. Now, I spend most of time at work so that I can pay for a roof over my head, food, etc. If I were wealthy enough that I had a roof over my head, food, etc. guaranteed without having to spend the best hours of my day working, I would be free to spend my TIME on things of higher value. Why is that confusing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:27 PM Flag
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We are not confused. What is evident in this post and thread, though, is the disconnect. It's not an either/or for most of humanity. Most people have to work. Of those people, many enjoy what they do and also have time to pursue relationships and other intellectual pursuits. Only you can change your situation if you are so unhappy. A lot of miserable people take the bull by the horns and make a change. Yeah, I'd be unhappy too if I was in a job I hated and thought the only solution was to be rich or a trust fund person. Now you can either wallow in your misery or do something about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:51 PM Flag
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Let me set a few facts straight. 1) Majority don't enjoy what they do, that's why the lottery jackpot keeps going up and everyone dreams of the day they can stick it to the boss. Some enjoy their jobs. 2) To have time to pursue things that are gratifying you have to buy time if you were not born rich. To buy time you must work and that job better pays good money so that you can save, not only pay for basics. If you work only to pay your living you won't save and won't have all that time for intellectual pursuits and deep relationships. 3) Some of us grew up poor and became MC/UMC through hard work and sacrifices, we already know what it's like to be on the other side and we know that money solves problems, you are not fooling us. 4) Majority of highly successful people are actually ruthless and some are downright assholes and bitches, they are not sweet introspective souls sensitive to the needs of others who by divine will attracted all the wealth. I know this because the only time I was able to get ahead is by being a bitch and the moment I softened up, I got stepped on. It's even more true if you are a business owner, like my friend who ruthlessly fired people and nickel and dimed her workers. I am sorry my life experiences made me more cynical than you, but I was surely not born this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:20 PM Flag
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Wow, I wouldn't call that cynical, just sad and misinformed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:27 PM Flag
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Ok, whatever you call it, I wasn't born "sad and misinformed", I became this person through my life experiences, and what I said is not a figment of my imagination, it's observation and talking to people in addition to my personal memories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:04 PM Flag
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please. you act like a person "needs" to be a trust fund baby or marry someone rich to be happy. Life isn't supposed to be carefree, and as we've tried to tell you, it's not carefree for the rich either. Struggling with work-life balance, being tired, dragging yourself to the office even though you have cramps, all of that is NORMAL and not taking away from your happiness in any real way (unless you have some unrealistic expectation that life should be easier). The evidence that shows being rich doesn't increase your happiness is not saying that if you have your basic needs met, your life will be easy. Like the poster above said, the happiest people she knows are not the neurotic trust funders, they're the Latino women who work 100 hours a week and still manage to have meaningful, close relationships with family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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LOL, how many of these fake latina women working cheerfully 100 hours a week do you know personally? You are all delusional UMC bubbleheads who want to believe so much that the poors are all happy just the way they are. Poverty must be a magic pill for happiness, why don't you try it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 07:35 PM Flag
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Money buys time to focus on family, relationships, meaningful things... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:27 PM Flag
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people have always worked throughout history, and this hasn't stopped them from having meaningful relationships or pursuits. Work is not stopping you either. that's just an excuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:10 PM Flag
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Why do you assume that people who want to not work for a living don't have meaningful relationships? Is it impossible to be happy in some aspect of your life and not the other? What an odd idea. You can have a happy family life, love your DH, have friends, but be unhappy with your job or with financial problems or with health issues of your parents you cannot help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:09 PM Flag
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Last time I checked we didn't have universal minimum free income to pay for the basics you describe. What parallel universe are you hailing from, oh the wise traveler? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:57 PM Flag
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My family is from a "second world" country. One of my uncles is wealthy. His daughter had organ failure, and needed a transplant. Without the new organ, she would die, and there was nothing available. Do you know what he did? He paid the equivalent of hundreds of thousands of American dollars for an organ and SAVED HER LIFE. Without his $$$$$, his daughter would be dead. I wish we didn't live a world where this happens, but we do, and that's reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 04:48 PM Flag
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the vast majority of people never confront that situation in their lives, and would be ill advised to make life choices with these rare scenarios in mind. that's how you make yourself miserable in the here and now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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Big laugh at all the people pretending here, on an anonymous board. I wonder how many mothers saying "more money is not necessarily better" only have their DCs in the first place because they had tens of thousands of dollars to spend on IVF. How much happiness has your child brought into your life? What solved your infertility problem? MONEY - and lots of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:23 PM Flag
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Sorry, you were one of the people I referred to above about "disconnect." Your post doesn't reflect what people are trying to establish with OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:29 PM Flag
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What a lot of posters here are disagreeing with, is other posters saying "having more money is not necessarily better". That statement is delusional, and frankly, insulting. Look at the section of this thread where people say "but, but...rich people get depressed too!". Perfect reply: "False equivalency. They are depressed with excellent healthcare, extended lifespans, no bill worries or fear that paying medical costs for them or their children would bankrupt the household." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:46 PM Flag
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no, we're not making the equivalency in the first place. obviously it's better to be rich than to be poor. but it's best of all to have good, non materialistic values, good relationships and a good attitude toward life. Even a poor person who is struggling to pay the rent, who worries about how they're going to get school supplies for their kids, is better off than a rich person if they have those things -- things that make a person truly happy -- than a rich person who doesn't. That's the part YOU don't understand and refuse to believe. Everyone in the world was poor 200 years ago compared to how people live now. And you wouldn't argue that all those people were miserable, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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How can you argue that someone who is struggling to pay rent (to be explicit: avoid homelessness) and worries about school supplies for their kids has quality of life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:09 PM Flag
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Seriously? What fucking bubble do you live in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:21 PM Flag
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+ 1 mil. the majority of the world lives with this uncertainty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:25 PM Flag
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Obviously the person with chemical mood disorder or a mental illness is never going to be as happy as a mentally healthy person. But these problems are human problems, not problems of the rich, nobody is immune. Good relationships are also human, not only reserved for the specific demographics, rich people can have very good relationships too. You can have great non materialistic values, great relationships but still experience financial stress and be unhappy with your work grind, why is this so difficult to understand. These things are not correlated. Your example about 200 years ago problems is not valid, there were absolutely tons of unhappy people not content with their lot and also happy people AND there were rich and poor and rich and also slavery. Are you saying that rich 200 years ago should have been unhappy because they didn't have great medical care and electronics? It's like saying that people today should all be unhappy because we don't have household robots our great grandchildren will enjoy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:20 PM Flag
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There are only two central issues raised by the OP: 1) having to work a 9-5 job that she hates; (2) alternative lifestyle as a trust fund baby or billionaire. Two ends of a stick with no middle ground. Most people are not extremely rich or extremely poor. Most people can find a balance. Now if we want to get off into a discussion about who is happier, that's absurd because most people fall somewhere in the middle and manage. I don't think anyone disputes that having money, or even the ability to pay one's bills is a bad thing, and it certainly makes life a whole lot easier, but to assign a happiness value to it is ridiculous. What I'm gathering from OP's posts is that she can absolutely not be happy as long as she is working. That's a very narrow view. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 05:58 PM Flag
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agreed -- and one of the things that makes people happy or not is their ability to accept their lot in life. OP has defined happiness so narrowly that she will never get it. her problem is not her circumstances in life, it's her attitude, and expectation that life should be easy. and her jealousy of people whose lives she knows nothing about. Easy and happy are not the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:07 PM Flag
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I bet that's what slave owners told themselves to make themselves feel better. People should accept their lot in life and learn to be happy, after all there are happy slaves, look they sing and dance and have babies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:21 PM Flag
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More broadly, I think the argument that has evolved is "Vast, independent wealth can create circumstances that lead to greater happiness, in ways that are just not available to non-independently wealthy people: COMPLETE control over one's time, unlimited funds to handle an illness/emergency/crisis, peace of mind that basic needs will ALWAYS be met, the ability to REALLY help a friend in hard times and not say 'I wish I could help, but I myself am surviving', taking time off for emotional health after a major trauma (divorce, grieving, etc.), the largest number of choices about what kind of education you want for your child...These things are available to wealthy people, and not available to people outside of that world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:14 PM Flag
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when I was diagnosed with cancer just weeks after DH lost his job, with no family support, none of my wealthy friends offered to help. Only a retired cop did. And that sums up the reason why relationships are more important than money in my mind. People with money are weird about money. They live in a money bubble. Working class people don't have that luxury, so they band together in tough times. And it's those close ties that everyone agrees leads to real happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:29 PM Flag
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the people on here complaining so bitterly about how much better their lives would be if they were fabulously rich will never understand this. they think: if i were rich, i wouldn't act that way. i'd be just like i am now, only with money to throw at all my problems. they don't want to hear the proven truth that rich people aren't happier. to them, anyone who bursts their fantasy bubble is just minimizing the struggles of the poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:42 PM Flag
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Someone above wrote a very well-written reply to the idea that rich people can have major interpersonal conflicts and feel the need to keep up appearances: "This need is their own choice and rich people have lots and lots of choices. Personal relationships have NOTHING to do with money, you are right. And you must understand that poor and LMC and MC and UMC are not excused from these problems. These are NOT problems of the rich, these are human problems. Do you think poor people have this big happy family and have each other's backs and there is no jealousy, backstabbing and judgement and even trying to steal from each other?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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You are giving me your theories and here is the reality. By being better off we are able to help our families who are poor and LMC. It gives us happiness to be able to throw money at their problems and also at some of our problems that money can solve. I am happy I can fix a faulty heater/ac in my home in a timely manner, I am happy that I can afford some extracurriculars for my kids, I am happy that we can go on a decent family vacations which cost money and which provide great memories, I am happy I can just order winter boots for all family from Zappos instead of shlepping around discount stores or buying second hand, I am happy when we go to a restaurant for a family meal and when DH and I go on a date and when I am tired to walk and take subway and I can afford a cab ride, and when I am hungry and can afford to stop off for a meal or grab a coffee. I am happy I don't have a long commute, I am happy we live in a safe neighborhood and my kids go to a good public school. I am happy I can afford to buy them bikes and buy them ski and ice-skate lessons in the winter. I know I should not feel happy given these shallow materialistic things, something must be wrong with me for wanting these things, these little luxuries, because you are right, affording more things or having certain conveniences should never make anyone happy. I know the answer. The reason these little things make me happy is because I grew up WITHOUT them and often wanted them. Now if I can just have all these things, not a private jet or a Hamptons house, not being able to drop millions at a Gala, just these little things an not have to work for a living at a job I hate, I would be even happier. Now tell me what's wrong with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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some people are also arguing themselves into a corner where you need vast wealth just to have financial security, and you need financial security to have any hope of happiness. therefore, in their deluded minds, only the rich have a shot at happiness. therefore you are stupid if you don't marry for money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 06:30 PM Flag
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Financial security is very real and you do need a lot more these days because basic things like housing and medical care are very expensive and are getting only more expensive with every year. I think we all have different definitions of what vast wealth represents. For someone it's 1 mil, for someone it's 10 mil, for someone it's 100 mil and for someone it's 1 billion+. It's not what's relevant, what's relevant is the fact that there is a certain threshold at which basic needs are met and there is another threshold at which some nice conveniences and a few luxuries can be had, and yet another threshold for more luxury and unlimited conveniences. The poor must work just to meet the 1st threshold. The MC/UMC work for a second threshold and the rich work and invest to have the 3rd. Then there is another group of uber rich individuals that work for the ultimate threshold, the one that buys you real power, political power, power over others and over resources - perhaps power to decide the fate of civilization and its development. Each of the categories meeting their different thresholds of wealth struggle and may be disgruntled in their own way to get to the next level. Some people are content where they are. Majority of people would be content meeting threshold 2 where not only very basics but also a few little pleasantries, luxuries and conveniences can be had and would be thrilled if they didn't have to work to get there or to keep it. I would argue that 1st world civilization should provide access to 1st threshold without requirement to work, so that people work for 2nd. 3rd, 4th threshold, depending on their desires and ambition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 09:30 PM Flag
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Exactly, you describing the circumstances that can certainly lead to happiness in some individuals who are not otherwise prone to mental disease or mood disorders and whose unhappiness is primarily caused by financial stress and daily grind and anxiety about future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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I know, late to the party and surprised this discussion hasn't devolved into UB's favorite topic SAHM vs. WOHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.16.18, 10:26 PM Flag
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