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[ - ] Speaking of coaches, can you guys give me your opinion on this situation? 9yo yelled at for not skating fast enough and put in penalty box during practice. After 6-7 minutes starts crying. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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seems harsh, but depends on situation--rec hockey or tier? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Not everyone is cut out to play hockey through travel teams and the upper years. It sounds like your kid is going to be one of the ones who doesn't make it to that level. I'm not trying to be mean, but these sports are the ones meant to shed dead weight. Your kid better skate faster instead of crying or he's not going to be playing hockey for much longer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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oh, that's not mean at all... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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You don't get far in sports by calling people mean and crying in the penalty box. She is not doing her kid any favors by indulging this and approaching it from the perspective of the coach being "mean" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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OP that wasn’t me. I haven’t discussed it with my kid yet. Trying to get different perspectives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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Actually, the governing boards of most sports are trying to encourage participation through later years, not “shed dead weight”. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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Not hockey [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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Hockey is a ruthless cut sport. It costs a shit ton of money to get good ice time that leagues pay for, they do not have the budget to coddle anyone when you can have only 5 men and a goalie from your team on the ice at any given time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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It makes me laugh when people on urban baby act like they are experts on a subject and. Pearly have no idea what they are talking about. Participation in hockey as plummeted both in th is and Canada due to fear of head injury and expense. I promise you they are not trying to decrease participation further. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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DH who has coached a lot. That is inappropriate and lazy at any level for 9 yo. A good coach finds positive ways to encourage developing speed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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OP- thanks for your input. Trying to figure out how to handle it with my son. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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Tough call. I would advise your son not to quit. Try to meet the coach half-way (so to speak) let him you disagree with him putting your son in the penalty box during practice, but ask him what you can do to help your son improve his skating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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^^^let him know you disagree... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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He's about the age when children generally decide which after-school activities they want to stay with and which they don't. How does your DS feel about hockey at all? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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He loves it but hates this coach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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Can he join a team in another league? Or attend a school with a team? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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Definitely. He has about 6 weeks left in the season. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Then he can decide if he wants to finish with this coach, or if you want to take him off the team and tell the league manager why you're doing so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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I'm involved with a lot of youth sports and this is a terrible way to deal with a young athlete. It's also the reality now that kids aren't allowed to casually participate in sports anymore. You're either one of the best, or you're not playing at all. It's not good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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agreed that sounds off for a 9 year old [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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OP: so how would you approach it with my son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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Is he being a bit lazy or is this his best ability? If he's being a bit lazy, I think humor and pairing him up with anther teammate for drills. If it's the best of his ability (or at least it's the best he thinks he can do at this point) I think that praise and more playing time will help. He'd feel a bit empowered then and that will get him liking the sport and wanting to practice more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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Consider yourself lucky. Hockey is not a good lifelong sport, it's expensive, inconvenient, etc. Let DS quit if he wants (demand $$ back if you're ballsy enough). Life too short to volunteer to be screamed at for something as inconsquential as hockey. Teach your kid not to be a doormat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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DO you know how many beer leagues there are out there? It's an intense and lifelong sport for many people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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It's not a good way for the coach to deal with a 9 y/o. If that's the best the kid can do, then the coach has to work with what he has. If the kid is slacking off, the coach needs to learn how to encourage hard work and discourage goofing off without bringing the kid to tears. Either way, it's a problem. You are getting towards the end of the season. If you are looking at the same coach for next year, I'd start thinking about a different program. There are a few decent boys hockey programs in the NYC area, you just might have to travel for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Was your son working hard or goofing off? Skating slowly is not enough by itself for such a consequence and no good coach would put a squirt in the box for that long. If a player is disruptive enough to need more than 5 minutes then they should be sent home. Are you sure that you have the story straight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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DH was there. It was definitely “at least” 6-7 minutes. He definitely wasn’t goofing off. My guess was that the coach thought he was being lazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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Are you in NYC? I know most of the programs and can think of just one coach like that. MC? He doesn't coach Peewees. Tough it out for one more year and you won't have anyone like that again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:18 PM Flag
[ - ] I’m a first generation immigrant who did not attend college here in the US. I have 2 kids - 10 and 12. I want to know how college admissions work here. I know it is early but it seems like it’s a complex process and i’d Like to be prepared. Please suggest any books/ websites/documentaries that would be helpful. Thank you. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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college confidential dot com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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The best books I know are College Admission by Mamlet and Vanderveld and Admissions Matters by Sally Springer. For a picture into how decisions were made at a small liberal arts college (Hamilton) read Creating a Class by Mitchell Stevens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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go to any local bookstore. I'm sure there are lots of published books that would be very helpful to you. Good luck and you and your kids will do great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Thank you. I’m looking for some basic information to start with - will go to Barnes and Noble. For instance, you may be surprised but I did not know that lawyers have a bachelors degree followed by a JD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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Save lots of money, even public schools will not be free and private ones cost a fortune. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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She can look into financial aid and grants. State college is the way to go if you don't want ton of debt and I would look into CUNY or starting at community college for 2 years and then transferring to one of the state schools. Cheaper this way and community college can help you figure out what you want to focus on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Of course, but that depends largely on income and assets. In Europe everyone pays the same very minimal amount so the price of an American education is often a huge shock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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plenty of books at the library. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:50 PM Flag
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Don't know where you are, but this lady gives very comprehensive info sessions in Brooklyn: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3588450 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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So you say you're writing your listicle of the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Look into colleges that offer easier transfer from community college. Go to a community college to do general core classes for 2 years and some other classes to try out what you want to do and then transfer and focus on your major or profession. It's cheaper to attend community college and often is more compatible with work schedule, as I assume you also must work for a living. Later you can transfer and take on some debt, but only for 2 years, which is more manageable. Plus look into FA/grants for low income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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Do you already have a degree from your home country? What area do you want to focus on, any idea what you will study? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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I think she means for her kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:19 AM Flag
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Read this blog. http://www.thecollegesolution.com/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:32 AM Flag
[ - ] Lauren Sanchez's hold on Jeff Bezos reminds me of Asia Argento and Anthony Bourdain. Everyone sees it but the man. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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TOTALLY! he's so blinded but lust [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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Yes. But for whatever reason this seems to happen a lot. Men are horndogs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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Completely. She’s so gross. Truly gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Dig, dig, digging for GOLD! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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I love how you KNOW him, and you KNOW this. I can't think of a less interesting affair that is getting alot of publicity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:46 PM Flag
[ - ] DS will be 7 months old tomorrow. Abnormal that he still pushes solids (purees, yogurt) out of his mouth with his tongue? My DD swallowed from the first spoonful at 6 months. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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of course, totally normal!! My 16 month old daughter sometimes does the same when she doesn't want anymore food, getting used to a new food or consistency...it's all a learning process. And remember, EVERY child is different. Don't worry at all, keep feeding and having your baby try new foods and experiment. Good luck and enjoy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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Do you realize you're talking about a difference of 4 weeks? relax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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It's tough to be a mom who knows nothing about babies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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what does this comment mean?? The OP is asking a SIMPLE questions. Why can't you just support her and give advice.Mom's need all the support they can to raise little people into our future humanity. And you go and make this stupid comment. Seriously, go back to the fourth grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:48 PM Flag
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OP - Fuck you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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I'm not the OP. Clearly you are very mature. Get a grip. I'm a mom of two kids who can relate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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OP - I was responding to the person who said I know nothing about babies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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haha! got it. Then EXCELLENT response by you. I had a "mom-brain" moment. :) Hope you're having a good day with your kiddies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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Six months is too late to start food. Wish the fashion would swing back to three months where it belongs. There were none of these weird “sensory” issues around food when that was the norm, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Girl in my mind office is just back from her honeymoon, all aglow, discussing it like she’s the first person who has ever been married. Sigh. It’s barfy but also sweet. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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we've all been there. I wish her a long and happy marriage. hard to believe those exist if you hang out here long enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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swarfy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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Wait til she gets pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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IKR? Let her enjoy the glow. I love to look back at my honeymoon photos to see a thin and glowing person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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Jealous? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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NP - I am! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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Ha, a little! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:23 PM Flag
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where was the honeymoon ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:27 PM Flag
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Maldives [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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It's the work of nature fooling her into getting pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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Let her enjoy the glow. The dopamine fades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Is she in your mind or your office? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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Eh. Nice try at trolling but pretty boring [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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Glad to hear of a new bride who is excited about marriage. I thought they all lived together for five years before even bothering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:34 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O. Dating a guy who is divorced, the deal is his ex gets the beach house cottage. Problem? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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Good grief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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What is it to you. You are just a fling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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Seriously? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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you sound like the problem, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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Did you imagine that you would get it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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seriously lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't even know why doctors bother with these rapid flu tests. Every single time I or one of my kids has gotten a positive, it's a very faint positive and the doctor doesn't seem to know for sure if it's valid. Happened with my 7 month old son last week and doctor treated it as flu. Now I feel unwell, and doc said the line didn't look "very impressive" and it's probably just another virus. I guess it doesn't matter either way, except I could be spreading flu to everyone in my office right now. And I'm not going to leave because I was out most of last week due to my son. If I knew it was the flu, I'd leave. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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Do you think all the plaintiff lawyers' advertising pays for itself? It is a CYA test. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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I remember those days. DH and I hadn't been sick for years, then boom! We caught everything. I will never forget the time I sat on a bench in the Court Street subway station. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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Did you have a little kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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my pediatricians office doesnt give them, but my own dr does. supposedly not very accurate, but its all we have. who knows. honestly im annoyed that my child cant be tested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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It’s not all that exists. There is a PCR test with much higher sensitivity and specificity with turnaround time of 90 min. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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ER doctor. I agree. The rapid tests are crap. We use the PCR which takes about 90 minutes. However, if you or close contacts are not in a high risk population, the evidence behind Tamiflu is weak at best, and I’d argue it’s often not worth testing for. Treatment is supportive. Of course, public health types do like to track this stuff, but that’s not really patient oriented care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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You’d leave if you knew it was the flu, as opposed to whatever awful virus that’s making you feel like crap right now? Go home already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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Either way, you are infecting your office with something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Did you get flu shot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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OP - No. I usually get it, but was on maternity leave when employer gave them last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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you should have gone to Rite Aid. its covered 100% by insurance, takes 2 minutes. i say this because i didnt get the shot one year, i got the flu and it was terrifying and awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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Why not just get a shot and get your kids the shot (unless they are allergic)? How often does this happen? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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you can still get it, a different strain, when u have the shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I have two kids in college and one in 10th grade. Been divorced since they were toddlers. Exdh is taking the 10th grader to a robotics competition this weekend. This is the first time in 20 years he has ever taken any of the kids anywhere and/or showed any interest in their school. I had to ask DC ten times if what I heard is true!!! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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Does ex have a new GF? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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OP: I think he's been seeing this woman for about a year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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His only son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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OP: No oldest child is a boy also [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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Mine finally started this this year. It's like he woke up and realized that dc is actually growing up. He brought her and the girlfriend to Disney three times this year. Three. Times. He's a giant child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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Then again so is his girlfriend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Who here has received feedback from their preschool director for private K apps? If so, which school(s)? Thanks! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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GL! Went through this last year. Have you heard anything? It's so sucky the way this consumes one's mind. I remember all too well! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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not yet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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Dalton - no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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Ah, we had that too. Dalton gives early feedback, esp when negative. Just know it is not indicative of how other schools felt about DC! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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Going to be devastated if we hear the same from the next one on our list! No connections anywhere. Are we just completely screwed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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No! If you applied to schools that are not as hard to get into, you will be fine. What's next on the list? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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Friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I date a guy who lives in on the second floor of 2 family with his ex de & 2 kids on the first floor? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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No you should not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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Bensonhurst? It should be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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No f'in way. That has bat shit crazy written all over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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All other things being equal, probably not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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God no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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If you have to ask.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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FWIW, DH's ex lives in the apartment across the hall, and we all get along well - but they weren't living that near each other when DH and I met and started dating. Shortly after we got married, DH inherited some money, and he used it to buy two apartments, one for us and the other for the ex to live in. We wouldn't have done it if we weren't already getting along really well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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that's awesome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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Actually, I think that is a sign he is a really good dad. Unless you object to someone with kids, I would consider it really strong evidence he wants to be close to his kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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i agree. also, whats your deal? are you 28, never been married or do you have baggage too? if the former, of course not. start fresh with someone without kids. if not, and you dont plan to have more kids, consider it. although, if the kids are young, you may end up living upstairs with him, or be the evil woman who took them away.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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also, i was asking OP, lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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That may be but he's not good dating material [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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Only if he’s Mick Jagger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone lease a car through their own company? Is the tax write off worth it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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When applying to IV, how to determine if we qualify to FA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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Yes, and we will see when I get my return back from my CPA. It did last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Monday! College financial aid mom in the house. AMA. 78 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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I'm so sleepy. Will my child even go to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Is it true that we will be penalized for having money in 529? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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op - There's no such thing as being "penalized." You either have need or you don't. A 529 is considered a parental asset (even if it is in child's name). Parental assets are assessed at 5.64%, meaning if you have $100k in a 529, you have $5640 less need FOR THAT YEAR than if you did not have the 529. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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Do they count your home intjose calculations? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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op -- OK, some background: There are two FA forms that colleges base FA awards on. FAFSA and CSS Profile. Only about 200-250 undergrad schools use CSS Profile form. Those are the most generous schools. So, in answer to your question: Schools that use ONLY the FAFSA to determine FA do not include home equity in the FA calculation. Schools that use both FAFSA and CSS Profile: Most use home equity in the FA calculation. A few very generous CSS colleges do not use it. Some CSS colleges CAP the home equity they count at a multiple of your income. So, let's say your income is $100k, and the college caps HE at 1.2x income -- they will only count a max of $120k of your HE in the calculation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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TY for explaining that you either have need or not. I grew up working class and was the quintessential financial aid kid, receiving money from any local, state or federal pot designated for students as my need was so great. Still rankles me how some kids and parents would brag about sheltering assets in order to qualify for aid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Is there a basic formula for how much aid you can get based on income? Like if parents make 200K combined, can they expect 15% aid? 30%? None? If you make 70K combined is that the threshold for a full ride? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Federal Pell grant has a set formula (you can google the income eligibility formula), which for this school year is a max of $6,095. Also, the very generous schools that give full FA below certain income/assets are set criteria. For example, Princeton provides 100% scholarship to students from families that earn $65k or less. Other schools have different cut-offs. University of Michigan gives full ride to out-of-state families with income of $90k or less. There are asset limits on these as well. Best way to know how much aid you will get is to use a college's Net Price Calculator (NPC). Go on any college's financial aid page and click into the NPC. It will spit out a number specific to that college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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op -- Also, there is an asset-protection allowance. Varies by age of parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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np--Pell grant eligibility upper limit is is around 50K income, with most grant money going to families with under 20K income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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op -- yes -- it's for low-income families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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same np--Michigan gives a full ride to out-of-state students with family income under 90K and assets under 50K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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same np--Most aid is based on income and assets. I don't know why OP is telling you about Pell grants if you make 200K or even 70K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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Op -- I thought she was using those as examples. In any case, I want the answers to benefit all readers, not just the questioner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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also depends on number of kids. We make this but had only one kid and some savings and got nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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200K or 70K? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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200K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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op -- That would be correct. You would not generally get FA with one child in college and a $200k income unless there are extenuating circumstances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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Next year I will have two in college (hopefully.) One will be in school in the UK. Can we reapply for FAFSA aid for the one who goes here in the US? Currently not getting any aid. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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Of course. You can reapply every year. Having two in college increases your need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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thank you - wasn't sure if they would consider school in another country or not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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depends on the college. No harm in applying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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No, thanks. All information can be searched online or asked of someone who puts their name and face behind their assertions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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You are a jerk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Thank for checking in regularly. Very helpful! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Mondays, in general. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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What's the difference in 529 ownership if the account is in child's name or parent's name or a sibling's name? Wonder if we should transfer funds from child to me or her sister [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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If the parent is the owner of the 529 account, you can change the beneficiary. If the student is the owner, they control the account at age 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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Ty. For the FA purposes, is there a benefit for the parent or the student to own the account? E.g., for the distribution purposes, who's benefit is taxed higher? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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A 529 account is treated for FA purposes at 5.64% for a parent-owned or a student-owned account. The distribution is not taxed if used for qualified educational expenses (QEE). You already paid taxes on the principal when you earned it. The earnings on the principal are non-taxable. In about 30 states -- if you own your home state's 529 plan -- you can get somewhat of a tax deduction on STATE taxes in the year you contribute. It's different for every state. You have to read the rules for your state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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^^^ NY allows a state tax deduction on the NY 529 plan. NJ does not. However, if you live in NJ and work in NY you can own the NY plan and get a tax deduction on the NY taxes you pay for working in NY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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op -- Also note that if grandparent owns a 529 with child as beneficiary, the distribution is counted as student income -- unless you don't take a distribution from the grandparent 529 until second semester sophomore year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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Thanks. No GP here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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My DC was awarded merit money from a school EA. We are a Tuition Exchange family. How does this merit impact the TE or vice versa? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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I don't know much about tuition exchange. The rules might vary by college. You should ask the college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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NP: IME Tuition Exchange is a scam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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What happens to 529 if the owner dies? If I have 529 for both kids, they don't use it all in college and by their gad school I die, what will happen? Should I transfer the account after their college t their names? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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op -- I don't know. Ask your tax adviser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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^^That said, my assumption is that it would go to the named beneficiary, which is your child. But again, check with your financial adviser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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If I retire the year before my DC goes to college, how will my income be calculated? Will pension, 401k or Social Security be counted? If not, and my earnings below threshold (from let's say 0-$30k) would DC qualify for free tuition at schools that offer? Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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op -- Your income will be whatever is reported as income on your tax return. And BTW, for FA purposes, you report your income from two years before the academic year. If your kid starts college in fall fo 2020, the tax year 2018 is the year evaluated. Plus your current assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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*of 2020 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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np--Are you a single parent? Private colleges will look at the income and assets of both parents, whether married or not. Generally retirement funds are not included in assets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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op -- It has nothing to do with public vs. private. The distinction is between colleges that require CSS Profile and those that require only the FAFSA. If parents are divorced, FAFSA-only colleges do not see financial information of the non-custodial parent. BTW, the definition of custodial and non-custodial for FA purposes is different that the court's definition (although in most cases they overlap). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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I have a 529 in my DD's name with about $25k. I contribute about $4,000 a year. Better to stop and open one in my name? Can I move from her name to mine? I did 529 for small NYS tax benefit but realizing having in her name is a bad idea. Thanks!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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op -- Depending on what state plan you are in, you might be able to request a transfer of ownership. Check with the plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:57 PM Flag
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But better to have in her name or mine? She is 12. HHI $175k. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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op -- Depends what you mean by "better." The owner has control. Owner of the account can change the beneficiary at any time. If the student is the owner, she'll have total control once she turns 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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NP I think this OR is confused. She thinks that it would benefit her for financial aid if she makes her dd NOT the beneficiary of the 529 account. (Her dd is not the owner if OR is getting the tax benefit.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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^^^ her question is really "should I keep my dd as beneficiary of the 529?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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Don't you have to be the owner of the account to get the tax benefit? Are you saying she is the beneficiary or she is the owner? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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We are considering fostering a teen (after our kids leave for college). IF we foster, and IF the foster child is able/ would like to go to college, would foster parents' assets matter? I've been presuming that a foster kid would be eligible for nearly full aid, but my husband worries that tuition would decimate our retirement savings. . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:59 PM Flag
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op -- no foster parents are not responsible. there are special rules regarding foster children that I am not fully familiar with. It is a special category. FA forms ask if the student has been in the foster system. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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But do foster kids usually get near 100% aid at need blind schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:11 PM Flag
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op--I don't know all the foster child rules. But let me tell you this: "Need-blind" is an admissions term, not a FA term. It means that the admissions office does not consider financial aid in the admissions decision. The phrase you want is "meets 100% of financial need." A school can be need-blind but not meet 100% of financial need. Alternatively, a school can meet 100% of financial need, but not be need-blind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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New York State has a great program called HEOP(Higher Education Opportunity Project) for low income students. Some top school participate (Columbia, Vassar, Hamilton). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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^^^ Ooops, Vassar doesn't participate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Yes, many states have state programs. NYS also has TAP. Fed govt has SEOP for exceptionally needy kids. California has CalGrant. Also, there's the QuestBridge program which matches financially eligible students with participating colleges, and the student gets a full four-year ride. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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Maximum TAP aid is around 5K for very low income students--similar to Pell Grants. HEOP covers full college expenses--tuition, room and board-- with stipends for books and travel. (Some schools have loans as part of package.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:31 AM Flag
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op -- OK I just looked it up. Students in foster care at the time of applying to college are considered financially independent for financial aid purposes. So no parent income needs to be reported. Only student income, which obviously will be zero or very low. This is a reliable source of information. https://www.fastweb.com/financial-aid/articles/financial-aid-and-scholarships-for-foster-care-and-adopted-children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I'm interested in fostering an older child too. Where are you getting info about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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op -- As I said above, a foster child applies for financial aid as an independent. Parental (bio, foster, or otherwise) income is not required to be reported. Read the link I posted above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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Some states have free college tuition for kids in that state's foster care or adopted from that state's foster care. I think Florida is one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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If you’re divorced and DH left, has no relationship with DD, does his income count? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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op- See above regarding divorced parents. In sum: For schools that require ONLY the FAFSA form to apply for FA, only the custodial parent info is required. For schools that require both the FAFSA and CSS Profile (which is an additional, more extensive FA form), the non-custodial parent will have to fill out his own non-custodial CSS Profile form. The most generous colleges are the ones that require the CSS Profile. Colleges that only ask for FAFSA are not the most generous when it comes to financial aid. The only way you can get a waiver of the non-custodial CSS Profile is if you honestly have NO IDEA where the NC parent is, e.g., don't know who the bio father is, he fled and there's no contact for many years, et. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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FAFSA gave us a report saying EFC is $189,000. Is this for all 4 years total? Otherwise, something seems not right since college does not cost $189k per year, and that is almost our entire after tax income. Any thoughts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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op -- It's for one year. If you plugged in the numbers correctly, it just means you are a full-pay family. It does not mean that's how much you actually will pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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what does full pay family mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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op--Full pay means you don't earn enough to get any financial aid. You will pay the full cost of attendance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 04:57 AM Flag
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We make about $200K, don't own any property (we rent) and have no college savings account. We have put all our savings into retirement plans. Will we be eligible for any FA? TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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.. I Should add, we currently get 50% FA at NYC private. 2 KIDS, both parents work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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For sure you will not get 50% FA for college. Colleges expect you to pay 1/3 out of past income (that would be savings), 1/3 out of current income (out of pocket during years dc are in college), and 1/3 from future income (that would be loans). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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For a family that does not get FA. So they calculate whether this is possible ^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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op -- Depends on where you dc go to college. At the very most generous schools (think: princeton, yale, williams, amherst, swarthmore, harvard, stanford, etc) during the years that they are BOTH in college at the same time you might get a little something. That is, if you have very little or nothing in non-retirement assets and do not own a business or own rental property. State flagship colleges are full of students from families at your income level because you can afford to send dc there out of a combination of current income and some loans, but can't afford private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:02 AM Flag
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^^^op-- also note that whatever you contribute to retirement account in the years dc are in college is added back into your income for financial aid purposes. Although it is a tax deduction, it is not a deduction from your income for the purpose of calculating FA. So your income that FA is based on is greater than your taxable income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:04 AM Flag
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PP. Thanks. This is very helpful. DCs will be in college at the same time ( twins). We dont own any property (primary home is rental) and have very little (basically emergency funds in non- retirement assets. Your posts are super helpful. Thank you very much. I hope you stick around for another year as I learn more and have more questions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 11:45 AM Flag
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op -- good luck to you! How old are your twins? See if you can stat putting away a little money now. Open a 529 for each of them. Better to pay now and EARN interest, than to pay later (via loans) and PAY interest. With the maximum amount of student loans allowable (about $27k per student for four years) you will be paying about $600-$700/month in loan payments after graduation. Pay that amount NOW into a 529 and earn tax-free interest PLUS if live in a state that offers tax deductions, you will save some money on your state taxes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm on a ten day run of amoxicillin and I feel like it's affecting my mood, I am depressed. Is this a thing? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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Is that the antibiotic? If so, it messes up your whole system. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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sounds very scientific [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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Thanks, but damn it Jim, I'm a lawyer, not a doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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Antibiotics are very powerful and 10 days is a long course. When is the final dose? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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I'm about halfway through. Hate taking them but had a gum infection and periodontist insisted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Gum infections can be very serious. Try a probiotic, rest (yes, footie PJs) and as many fluids as you can tolerate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Yes, altering gut bacteria can affect brain function. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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Take probiotics, it will repopulate the bacteria in your gut and may help with other symptoms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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OP I am taking a bunch plus eating yogurt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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yes-You will feel better soon. Water! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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OP thanks, have been bad about it, will do better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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and extra rest, I feel like when your body is fighting an infection it is just run down all around [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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PP (probiotic & footies) - very good point, rest even though you think you may feel "fine". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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I had to take it (also for a gum issue) a few months back and I felt very crappy the entire time. Felt better within a day of ending the course. You're almost done! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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I was on a ZPack a few months ago and had to stop midway through- mainly because of stomach issues, but it was also making my anxiety 100 x worse than usual. Wasn't sure if it was in my head but maybe not.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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It seems an odd side affect for an antibiotic, but these are powerful meds. I had to stop taking Lipitor because it made me feel crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Going crazy waiting for K admissions feedback!!!! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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I remember this like it was yesterday and it was 4 years ago. Hang in there. It is almost over and it almost always works out the way it is supposed to work out. Even if it doesn't feel like that at the time. Good Luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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I don't know about the above, but I will say this: Kindergarten is not the end of the line. I know people who were really burned by the process (shut out, last choice, etc.), but their kids ended up in good spots later (middle school, high school) when the process is more about merit. There is definitely movement among the schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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Admissions are down, so you have that going for you. What are your favorites? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Applications, not admissions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Hoping for co-Ed k-12! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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Which ones? Or any of them? The happier you can imagine being with the largest number of schools, the better this will go for you. BTDT. At 6th choice and very very happy 4 years in! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Friends or Ecfs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Friends is not that hard to get into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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We applied to a "you will never get in" TT off year in elementary. Well, we did get in. Wished we had never applied and moved our children two years later. Take it all in stride. It all works out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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Wow! Why did you move them out? Was it too much pressure? Other issue? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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It's almost always HM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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Just hope you’re bonito in Brooklyn! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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*not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I have been married 20 years. We had a very rough patch 10 years ago (including emotional and physical affairs) but we managed to get past that. When I wake up in the morning, I can only think of how lucky I am. I love him (and I find him so f*ing hot). I know, CSB, but I wanted to share my happiness. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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That's nice. Glad you go past the affair(s). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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Thanks. I would have never thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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I get it. DH and I haven't slept in the same bed for years (sleep issues, everyone is more comfortable). He woke me up the other night and said "you wanna sleep with me?" I did, and it was very beautiful. TMI for a lot of people but it made me feel so good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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So he wasn't a serial cheater, just the once? Or was it you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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it was me, twice. it never happened before, and it has not happened since then. i hope i am not a serial cheater, because i do not want to be in that situation ever again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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i know :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Parents of kids who play sports: have you experienced coaches who are positive, fair and good role models? I am ready to pull my kids out of sports entirely because the dad- coaches are all crazy. I played sports my whole life and never experienced the negativity and humiliation that my 10 yo has received. 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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The coaches my kids deal with are professionals. Not always positive, but fair and good role models. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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We have a softball coach named Joe. Joe is the bomb. He really wants the girls to get better at what they do. Very Italian American old school guy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP: you’re making me jealous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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Don't be! There are plenty of tears (might be an age thing) but Joe snaps them out of it fast. He had children at the same school years ago and he gets called in to straighten things out. Sounds cliche but he's very much the Tom Hanks character in League of Their Own and the girls' personalities are similar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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Awww...how nice! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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Yes but they have mainly been paid coaches. Most dad coaches are crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Yes my son's coaches are both amazing athletes (and parents) who played in college and just have the long view of learning a sport [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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most soccer coaches have been great, but they are paid, and not parents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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We've seen a variety of dad/coach styles. Hardest ones are the dads who give their own kids (sons usually) a harder time than everyone else, I watch these things play out thinking they are sowing the seeds for their kid to hate sports. Right now my 12yo has a dad coach for basketball and previously soccer who is so awesome I wish he could be his coach for every single sport for the rest of his school career. I've seen this coach in a season with lots of wins (soccer) and lots of losses (basketball) and he is equally awesome. So it can be done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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Coach Dad (or Mom) or professional coach? I've found that as the kids get older and the programs are more professionally run, the coaching gets better. You may not want to pull your DC from organized sports entirely, but find a different program that hires real coaches, not parent volunteers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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It’s 2 dad coaches. One is a yeller and one makes really sarcastic and snide remarks about the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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Find a new program. Bad coaching can ruin a DCs enjoyment of the sport, regardless of whatever sport it might be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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Why do we tolerate abusive coaching? We would never tolerate it from teachers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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There is usually a paid coach who is great. Then there might be one or two dads (maybe even a mom) who help out and they are usually fine. I could see how some could be crazy though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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My ds has always had low confidence. He’s tried all everything. Basketball, karate, fencing, soccer. He discovered obstacle training (ninja warrior) and loved it. The best part is he has the best coach. I get having a positive role model that can help build confidence in your kid. Your last sentence hurts my heart a little, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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agree! my dc did karate for years when younger in the basement room of a Y, and the coach was just amazing. couldn't believe how good he was for such low fees we paid. dc didn't really end up wanting to pursue karate but went so long because of the coach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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My DD is in a sport - it’s not a team situation and she has mostly private lessons. Her coach still has to be fair because she has several girls in the same competitions. The coach is great (but not all are). What’s grating is some of the mothers who started talking about my DD when my DD overtook their DDs. It’s really strange and very uncomfortable. I have also seen one mother who sucks up very hard to the coach of our DDs. I don’t know whether she thinks she will get some special favors. Not sure... but very strange. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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^ dads are not at all involved. Moms can’t coach from the sidelines because they don’t understand the sport, so they gossip from the sidelines. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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That is annoying to you but is not damaging the kids the way OP's coaches are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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No, it’s not as damaging as DD has the support of her coach. I would try to stay away from weird parent coaches. Dads often get very involved. It’s really bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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We have had very very good luck. It’s not always fair but that’s a lesson in itself. We don’t do a lot of stuff with parent coaches. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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Avoid organizations that are parent-coached. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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My DH was my dd’s Soccer coach a few years ago. It was a volunteer position. They had to go to one training session and there is a handbook with a code of conduct they are supposed to follow. If there is a supervisor for these volunteers I’d considering reaching out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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OP- another mother did go the head of the club and he initially accused her of complaining about playing time. When she explained she was concerned about the negativity he said he would think about it and get back to her. This was a week ago and he never got back to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Right now he is thinking, if it is so bad, more parents would be complaining. Does your kids' dad see this and what does he think? I think having more parents complain to the head of the club (and not just moms who he may think are overly sensitive) would help. It is stupid but I think sexism is part of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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OP interesting perspective. DH just as angry but hasn’t complained. One dad got in a screaming match with one of the coaches after a game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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At that age, DD had parent volunteer. No one was negative. One blatantly favored her own kid, and my DD laughed and said her DD would find out in 7th grade, when they start with paid coaches that she had no talent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Can you give an example of what the coach does to your DC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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Blames individual kids for losses, talks about kids behind their backs, that kind of thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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pull your kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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My kids don't play sports where Dads are the coaches. Join a professional team. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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Big, big bear hug. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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Very much involved in the baseball program in my town and I can tell you it's just a matter of luck. Some of the dads are great and encouraging, others are only there for their kids, others are over the top and want to win at all costs. It really does impact the sport and the kids views on it - which is unfortunate but is the reality when you're dependent on volunteers to keep the leagues running. The alternative is club sports which are generally professionally run. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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The good coaches are the ones who are paid to do it ... by high school they are good at what they do and they like to keep their jobs. The crazy parents are the volunteers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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My kid had a club hockey coach at age 12 who was really tough but he learned a lot and seriously developed his skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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tough seems fine! the above (gossiping, blaming, etc) seems not fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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there was blaming, punishments, and lots of cursing but by 12 the kids were not shocked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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At 12, they should be learning to take responsibility for their actions. If a kid is missing the play because they are daydreaming, they should be getting called out for it. 13 y/o DD's entire team was skating laps last week because they all played poorly the weekend before. Does it work? Probably not as well as the coaches might want, but that's what they do. As for the cursing - the DCs hear/say worse at school and on the bus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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Of course. DS is now playing college hockey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here do Keto? I'm trying it for first time. Advice appreciated! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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Please stop posting this! As well, please stop emailing this Keto nonsense to my inbox. How the heck did you even get my email. So frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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get off carbs fatty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Not me. I just want to lose a few lbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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