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[ - ] If you go to someone’s house for the first time, and you see they are walking around the house without shoes, do you A) take off your shoes without asking B) ask if you should take off your shoes C)Say nothing and walk into the house with your shoes 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:50 PM Flag
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I often ask "is this a shoe-off apartment"? Many people don't care if their guests wear shoes or not, and many people take off their shoes upon arriving home simply because they're more comfortable that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:51 PM Flag
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I would ask. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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I never ask. We just take off our shoes. By asking the homeowner if they want us to take off their shoes, they may feel pressured to say “no don’t worry you can keep on the shoes” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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I get your point, but being able to dictate someone having to remove an article of clothing is sort of stressful anyway. So I figure it's better to ask: easy enough for the host to say "yes, please." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:56 PM Flag
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Likely B. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:56 PM Flag
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B. Always. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:06 PM Flag
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Why do people still wear shoes in their apts? It's so nasty! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:17 PM Flag
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I wear flip-flops or sandals, because I'm kind of a klutz and I've broken my toes twice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:19 PM Flag
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I attempt to take them off and they usually say don't worry about it (Like if I am picking up my kids). But if I am invited for a social event (an adult event) and they ask me to take off my shoes I think they have bad manners [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:18 PM Flag
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Or they like a clean home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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Nope. Manners trump all. You can wash your floors after they leave. A good host does not ask a guest to remove their footwear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:37 PM Flag
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You sound like a guest who won’t be invited back to a beach house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:40 PM Flag
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and if you have carpet? not that easy to clean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:07 PM Flag
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A [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:39 PM Flag
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my 3 yr old will tell them to take shoes off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:06 PM Flag
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ILY. My kids do this too and I don’t even tell them too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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Pp-to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 06:50 PM Flag
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Walk in with shoes and ask if I should take them off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:13 PM Flag
[ - ] For students coming from low-income families and have student debts, is there a college major that provides good income and don't require a secondary degree? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:39 PM Flag
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There are plenty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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accounting, engineer, computer science, teacher -- these would allow graduated to work for a few years and then perhaps pursue a higher degree later on..pharmacy or nurse as well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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CPA here. Many employers will pay for you to take classes at night once you start. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:07 PM Flag
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Everyone I know in these fields has a masters degree. Teachers can’t get hired with a bachelors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:13 PM Flag
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That is so ridiculous that a teacher cant be done with just a bachelors [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:19 PM Flag
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Not true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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That's totally untrue. They may eventually have to get a masters to advance in pay grade or position (i.e. administration), but I can assure you none of the teachers in my kids' public elementary schools had masters degrees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:43 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] When the tapes come out w Trump saying the n word - do you think Republicans will care? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:39 PM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:44 PM Flag
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Paul Ryan will be like "I hadn't heard about that..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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Yes, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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of course not. they will secretly be thinking "good for him for saying it" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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they will tweet strongly worded statements...and then do nothing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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Thoughts and prayers as usual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:16 PM Flag
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Nope they will just applaud him in their usual absurd way for being honest and straight forward in his racism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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No, they'll call it a non-issue and move on to something else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone given up their smartphone? I am a professional with significant responsibilities, but my work does not pay for our phones. I am trying to save, and also trying to set a better example about phones for my kids. Over 45. Will I look hopelessly outdated? I am on email almost all the time so I don't think would miss many work emails if I did not have a smart phone.... 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:37 PM Flag
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I'm not always in front of computer, so it's an important convenience for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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This sounds ridiculous to me, sorry. You'll end up bragging about it to anyone who will listen, like all those people who don't have TV. You'll also put a lot of unnecessary stress on the others who will have to work harder to make plans and communicate with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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I would not be bragging! Like I said above, I am worried it would make me seen outdated... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:20 PM Flag
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Why make things more difficult for yourself to save, what, $70 a month? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:21 PM Flag
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No, doubt you can do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:45 PM Flag
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My DH uses a flip phone (it's not a $ thing, it's a him thing) - but admits that if he needed email access for work, he'd make the switch. (He's a teacher.) I have a smart phone, so we still get the "conveniences" (maps, Uber, etc.). He does have to plan in advance - check subway lines, etc. and sometimes it's a pain for me (to always have to use my phone). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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I'm tempted to get a pay as you go type phone. Rarely use mine for anything but looking at FB or texts. I don't "need" either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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I think group texts don't come through on most dumb phones. Some can receive them, some can't, and some stop receiving them at points. Just go with a prepaid. We have tello and twigby and in the past have had other prepaid services. Our service per phone is between $11 and $21 for each phone depending on how we configured them. Also I think for most phones you need at least some data in order to send and receive picture texts. Go prepaid and bring your own phone or buy a cheap one (under $150). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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Ah, ok. I love texting. So can't quit the smartphone.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:19 PM Flag
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If I didn't have a smartphone, it would greatly influence my ability to do my job. I'm not always at my computer. I'm in meetings, or at offsite sessions. This would be a huge problem for me. If your job has significant responsibilities, why would you risk this? Find another way to save. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:36 PM Flag
[ - ] At what age you think is "not young"? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Oh brother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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I think the older that I get, the number keeps going up. I’m turning 40 and sometimes I feel like I have so much more growing up to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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Now that my parents are in their mid 60s, to me it is still young enough. An older person is in their 70s or 80s for me. Every decade keeps being re-defined by society. Thank God for modern medicine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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For me, not young is 30+, old is 50+. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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i'm old :-( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:45 PM Flag
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50+ is not old! That is a very vibrant age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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40 or parenthood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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The age when you stop thinking you are young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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If you feel young and have your health, you're young! : ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some phrases that you can’t stand? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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So blessed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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So fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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I have a friend who were first to clothing and just odd things as fun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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***I have a friend who refers to outfits and odd things as fun.*** [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:39 PM Flag
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Abbreviating towns with initials when talking or texting. GC=Garden City. MTK=Montauk. SH=Southampton, Etc. I have a friend who uses only abbreviations when talking about where she’s going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Yes!! I grew up in Garden City (hated it) and it always drove me nuts how people call it “GC”, and expect people outside of Nassau County to know what they’re talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:50 PM Flag
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My friend texts me “We are leaving GC leaving GC for SH this week. We should get together while you are out there. “ It irks me. It just sounds pretentious. NYC It’s OK though because it’s a universal standard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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Fabulous! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Fantastic! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Wow, just wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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that's a saying?....... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:55 PM Flag
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...and it's cousin "no..just no" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:07 PM Flag
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"No problem" or "no worries" instead of "you're welcome". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:42 PM Flag
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Oh, this again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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"no worries" - The Lion King was responsible for this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:51 PM Flag
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Love "no worries"!!! And it means something more than you're welcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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You know what I’m saying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:43 PM Flag
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...and it's cousin "you feel me?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:06 PM Flag
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"Are you still working on that" said by a waiter when my jaw is still moving up and down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:51 PM Flag
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"lol" I can't believe grown women use this in writing as much as they do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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"lol" is more than it means. People can't convey emotion over text. They don't literally mean lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:06 PM Flag
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it's a ridiculous thing to write over and over [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:14 PM Flag
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What should be written when someone laughs out loud [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:25 PM Flag
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I do. When I lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:29 PM Flag
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There was either a credit card company or payroll service company - I don't remember which - which would respond to my calls with "and to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking to"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:20 PM Flag
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clap back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:23 PM Flag
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tremendous and TREMENDOUS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:57 PM Flag
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My new one is 'cute'. As in "I need a cute blouse" or "I want a cute bag". Just over done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 04:38 PM Flag
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Yaaaaaassss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 07:13 PM Flag
[ - ] What are some places that you can’t stand? 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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So blessed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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Wrong post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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Kayak [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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So fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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Wrong post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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A hot crowded train when I'm having a hot flash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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Window seat on the airplane. I would bump my head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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Abbreviating towns with initials when talking or texting. GC=Garden City. MTK=Montauk. SH=Southampton, Etc. I have a friend who uses only abbreviations when talking about where she’s going [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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Wrong post, oops [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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Flooded sidewalks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Flooded subways [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Humid cities [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Like anywhere Florida [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Karaoke [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Any place with mosquitos [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Lines at TJ's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Union Square is the worst [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Anyplace without air conditioning in the summer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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When I’m having a panic attack, anywhere that I can’t escape like a subway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:36 PM Flag
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The South [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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I agree with you but I absolutely love Savannah, Georgia. That’s the only place that gets a free pass from me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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Ewwww [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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eww what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:43 PM Flag
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Savannah is a dump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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Interesting. So the historic district is in absolute dump then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:58 PM Flag
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Yes, it is an awful place [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:05 PM Flag
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Sounds like you have never gone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:08 PM Flag
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Once is all it takes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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WE GET IT. YOU LIKE SAVANNAH. GOOD FOR YOU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:14 PM Flag
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Forget your meds or anger management therapy session? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 06:51 PM Flag
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Restaurants that are so noisy that you have to shout to be heard, or ones which are so dark that you can't read the menu without a flashlight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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^^and the same holds true about weddings and bar mitzvahs where my ears are burning by the time the party is over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:58 PM Flag
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I bet you're over 40. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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LOL, that's me!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:16 PM Flag
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Manhattan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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Medical or dental waiting rooms, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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Any rest stop on the thruway. Just try to find food that's not greasy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:31 PM Flag
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It's a choice, because leaving the interstate to eat will cut into your vacation time or increase your drive. It's possible, though difficult, to put together a healthy meal at a rest stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:10 PM Flag
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For the maximum negative energy: visiting someone in the hospital, in a hospice, or in jail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I buy a granny cart downtown? My local Before, Bath and Beyond doesn't have any in stock and I don't want the insulated kind that Whole Foods carries. TIA. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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My local Gristedes carries them--they are usually kept high up somewhere and you ask the manager. I call them shopping carts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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Local hardware store would probably carry them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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LOL@ Before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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Ha! I didn't even notice. What a weird autocorrect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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I got mine at Costco. It's big and well constructed. You might be able to order one and have it delivered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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...Whole foods [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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Reading Comp? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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any hardware store [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 03:21 PM Flag
[ - ] S/o: If given the chance, what would you redo? I went to TY schools, worked for 10 years and maxed out at 200k. Stay at home with kids now and desperate to reinvent myself, looking at careers I never would have imagined, just for SOME income and SOME flexibility (think IT, real estate). It is so hard for women with families. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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I'd have gotten my MA in Psych or LCSW and become a therapist. I got burnt out of academia and ran as far from it after getting a straight A in Ivy (psychology). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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what did you do instead? I should have done the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:18 PM Flag
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That's what you get for thinking your precious children couldn't possibly be away from you for 9 whole hours a day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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My dc had severe health issues. I'm sure you'd have judged me for staying home b/c most of his issues were not apparent. (np). Maybe count your blessings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Oh, sure, you have to jump in with your story that has ZERO to do with the op. It is hard for families, period. Most of us grow up and deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:34 PM Flag
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^Only privileged (most probably white) American women somehow think everything is supposed to be easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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Ha ha. Op here. Not white. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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OK, Asian. Same shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:39 PM Flag
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No. You sound awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:44 PM Flag
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Awful and poor and chained to a desk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:44 PM Flag
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Lol, liar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:45 PM Flag
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NP: This has everything to do with the OP’s post. Many women have to reduce hours or quit due to childcare, whether extenuating circumstances with the child or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:43 PM Flag
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Not OP, she was just over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:43 PM Flag
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Nah. Was sick of the grind. And DH does very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:38 PM Flag
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So you were lazy. Even better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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^some nerve complaining about how "hard" it is for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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You’re bitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:42 PM Flag
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I'm not, I'm happy. I have a family I love and a career I like. And I had a mother who worked and accomplished a lot instead of sitting around gazing at her navel. And I was proud of her! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:43 PM Flag
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So I assume you paid a person to watch your children? Or did they do that themselves? So, that actually is a JOB then. But if you SAH then suddenly you are gazing at your navel. OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:47 PM Flag
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You sound like you have to work. Not judging. But that’s what you sound like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:48 PM Flag
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Cue the “But I work for ME” whining... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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Do you women even realize how ridiculous you sound, so dismissive of actually doing anything with your lives? If OP doesn't have to work and if that's such a great thing, then she should STFU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:51 PM Flag
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Watching my kids when they were little WAS doing something with my life. I don't need any beyotch pushing papers around a desk to tell me otherwise. I've done both. I continue to work now that my kids are older too. But degrading that choice is nonsense. I can't imagine what nonsense job you have that you come here demeaning other's choices. You must be so proud of yourself. Do share. What do you do that makes a difference? I don't think PR or project management is a real job either dear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:58 PM Flag
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You overestimate how much anyone cares what you think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:59 PM Flag
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likewise partner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:21 PM Flag
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You care apparently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:21 PM Flag
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It was never 9 hours. Always 10-12 hours, and night and weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:44 PM Flag
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Well yeah, exercising some agency would have just been tooo haaardd... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:44 PM Flag
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You sound flyover and poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:48 PM Flag
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Or...in command of my responsibilities and schedule, because I'm a competent adult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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How narrow-minded you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:19 PM Flag
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Gained less weight when pregnant, not broken my toe because now I have arthritis [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:28 PM Flag
[ - ] OK, ready to yell at me for today's high-class problem? MIL and FIL are taking the family on vacation to Bahamas. Booked yesterday at Grand Hyatt but I'm worried we should have chosen the more kid-friendly resort Atlantis. Any opinions? Kids are 7, 4, and 4. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:17 PM Flag
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Seriously you are whining about a free vacation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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No I'm happy, they just asked us which resort was best and we debated and chose this one and now think we might have chosen wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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Make sure you take a ton of photos to post but be sure to not include your inlaws in any of them. This way people will think you have the money to go away on your own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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Ha. I'm not embarrassed, they are very kind and want to hang with their grandkids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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Tons of in laws take their families on vacations. You sound bitter. They should if they have the money. My family is wealthy and has never once offered. I think it’s odd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:53 PM Flag
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you'll have a great time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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I used to live in the Bahamas. I don't remember the Grand Hyatt. It's a brand new property. I have stayed at Atlantis a number of times and it is great fun--even for adults. I think you'll be fine at the GH. It looks beautiful. Have fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:40 PM Flag
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Thank you, you are nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:51 PM Flag
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TY. Read this. Sounds like there are lots of things for kids to do. Wish I were going! https://angelinatravels.boardingarea.com/2017/12/29/10-things-know-grand-hyatt-baha-mar/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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You can go to Atlantis for a day if you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] No idea what we are going to do. ZERO income coming in. BIL wont lend any money to Husband. I am angry at DH that this is happening again . This is the third time. I can't take the stress. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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Well get jobs? Not sure why you aren't working? Trader Joe's is hiring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:20 PM Flag
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OK you need to explain the story more. We know that he asked last night for 50k. You need to give us more of the backstory. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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You are assuming there is a backstory and not a crank who thinks it's funny to keep posting this story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:41 PM Flag
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True. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:09 PM Flag
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BIL is famous from what you said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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Do you work? Does your husband work? What happened to the income? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:42 PM Flag
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To me it sounds like you’re not working, is that true? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:43 PM Flag
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Both look for jobs ASAP and take first offer, the other stays with kids if any. Both continue to job hunt to maximize income. If you are parents maybe one can work days and one can work nights ? Any income is better than no income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:09 PM Flag
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I’m sorry you are going through this, but can I ask - how did it get so bad ? Were you paycheck to paycheck and then DH lost his job ? If his work record is that spotty, you really can’t count on him to be the breadwinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:11 PM Flag
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Zzzzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:43 PM Flag
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Honey you can’t ask for handouts even if your brother-in-law is wealthy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:44 PM Flag
[ - ] What's your first world problem 8f the day? I just realized I started the dishwasher 15 minutes ago on the China / Crystal setting... It should have been on the pot and pan setting. Now everything is going to come out still dirty. :-( 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Having a good hair day, but I'm planning to work out later and then I'll sweat and then my hair won't look good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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Having a good hair day, but I'm planning to work out later and then I'll sweat and then my hair won't look good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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Debating the ethics of booking an elephant ride for my kids while we are on vacation in Se Asia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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Not ethical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:18 PM Flag
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Oops. Posted above. Worried we chose the wrong resort in the Bahamas for vacation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:17 PM Flag
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Mine usually come out dirty b/c a fork prevented the little detergent compartment from opening. You can't win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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My grocery bill doubled after reading Omnivore’s Dilemma. And now I can’t enjoy my occasional McDonald’s binge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:35 PM Flag
[ - ] If 2 people have been married for 25 yrs in ny state. All assets accumulated during marriage but wife quit after 10 yrs to raise children... do they split assets and child support until kids go to college? Also how long is Alimony if DH earns 700K. Thx 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Op: this is a theoretical question but all these divorce posts scare me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Would there even be CS if joint custody? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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There's no one answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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[ - ] Sometimes I find half of my problems are solved just by turning to prayer, meditating on an uplifting prayer. They're very comforting. I don't find a big church useful, or all religious texts, or any strict doctrine, but that meditative quality of a silent prayer is very goid for my psychology. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:35 PM Flag
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Hail Mary's do it for me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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Just thought I would share. Hope no one is offended by this. Have a good morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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I'm not offended, but can you please cite a concrete example of a problem that was solved by one of these methods as opposed to your taking action? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:38 PM Flag
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^^^ Well, it's been 17 minutes; I guess you can't. Not surprising. "Prayer," mediation, etc. sure can calm you down and help you focus. Can breathing in sequence and mumbling words to yourself actually make something happen? If it could, we'd all have won the lottery many times over by now. What you are describing is "wishing." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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She said nothing of the sort. Reading comp fail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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OR: the Opie stated, and I quote, have my problems have been solved by prayer. I asked her to describe an example of a problem and how it was solved by prayer. No response. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:24 PM Flag
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Nothing about a "get". You are projecting your own desires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:51 PM Flag
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Op: Good grief I was working. Not answering. Not playing this game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:28 PM Flag
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Np: I get it. My family is religious. I am an atheist but if it comforts them that’s fine. I only dislike the judgy religious people w their rituals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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It's no different than any other method of self-reflection or concentration. Some people knit, some people take a hike up in the mountains, some people bake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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I think you're on to something. Clearing your thoughts allow you to think better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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Thank you for sharing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:36 PM Flag
[ - ] On vacation on the Cape with my 13 and 15yo dcs (I am divorced), my brother/SIL/6yo nephew from SF, and my dad. Family gets along well but being with my brother can be tiring. He and SIL want to go to the Vineyard for the day, and I/my dcs don't really - but brother really wants us to do everything as a family. Can I say no and just go to the farmer's market and the beach? It's our last day here and I'm tired. Not a huge dilemma, but I don't want to hurt their feelings...wwyd? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:54 AM Flag
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I would suck it up and go. Your brother came all the way from SF to hang out with your family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:58 AM Flag
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that's a tough one honestly. Some of my extended family is like that as well when we all vacation together and, it's taken years to set some ground rules (i.e we all don't have to do everything together). It was very tiring and added some stress before we all understood that. Can you take a couple of cars and maybe you can bail early? Sort of depends on how badly he wants you to go and how much it means to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:20 PM Flag
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The Vineyard is an island. You cannot drive there from the Cape. OP, I don't know where you live year-round but as this is UB, I will assume NYC or at least the northeast. Your brother & his family live 3,000 miles away and this is a major trip for them. Their kid is small and probably excited as fuck to take the ferry and explore the island. It's eight hours out of your life to make memories and have fun with people you don't see every day; probably see for a few days a year at most. Drink a coffee, eat a good breakfast, go and have fun. There is no such thing as a bad day on the Vineyard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:29 PM Flag
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OP - you're right; I live in MA and we come down here every summer and then more over the fall, so it's easy for me to forget that it's a bigger deal/more exciting for them. It will be fun, and we can do some of the things that I haven't done in a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:47 PM Flag
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OR here; I am in MA too (Truro year round since 2006 FWIW; native Bostonian for 35 years prior to that & have never lived anywhere else). It *is* easy to get blase about the whole tourist thing but I think your 6 yr old nephew probably thinks this is the fucking greatest and will be blabbing to his friends at home all about it. Enjoy your day; wish you had better weather. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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I would go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:20 PM Flag
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You’re an adult. Do what you want. My mom uses that line all the time. “Family” Like she manipulates me with guilt to get what she wants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:28 PM Flag
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I would go. I think you are more likely to regret not spending the rare time with them so you can rest vs. having a long day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:37 PM Flag
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thanks, guys. I don't even feel like it's "sucking it up", and I know they are here from far. I had a moment of feeling like I wanted to do what I wanted on my vacation...but it will be fun and good to spend time with them. We'll go :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:40 PM Flag
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Please update later. Tell us what flavor ice creams you all got and if you saw the Obamas' security detail!!! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:41 PM Flag
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I know I’m late to the game, but I think if multiple households are sharing a vacation home, nobody should be required to do any specific thing. At dinner talk about possibilities for the next day, group up, plan, but if someone wants to hang in the hammock with a book all day, that is just as valid as whatever the go-go-go contingent plans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:18 PM Flag
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^^And yes, I’d be in the hammock, if that isn’t obvious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it Willingly Abused Wife Week on UB? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:48 AM Flag
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I don't know, but I'm finding it harder and harder to open UB anywhere because of the immediate profanity (including in MP). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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Let go of your pearls lest you break the string, Agnes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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It's not me, fool, but the people around me. How would you like it if your kid caught a glimpse of some of the trash talk on here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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I really wouldn't care. I don't shelter my kids from reality whether it's meaningless slang terms or the unfortunate state of the world we live in. They could handle it. My kids have always understood what is inappropriate language. Sorry yours aren't very bright. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Go ahead and stand up for it, loser. And, you're turning this into an argument I'm not really making. Typical UB, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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If your kids are more than 5 years old do you really think they haven't come across bad stuff on the internet by now? Also, no one is forcing you to be on here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Come on, this isn't a philosophical debate. I made a comment, then all the apologists came out of the woodwork claiming it's okay. Trash is trash. I'm not going to change that. That, I understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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Seriously. UB should be required reading for women gloating about "locking it down." So many nightmare marriages--and that's just the ones who dare to post about them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:01 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD. DH has emphasized that he hates me and is only maintaining a relationship for the D.C.'s. Pretends to be father of the year in front of them. Literally when their backs are turned, or on the phone when they are with me and he is not, or at night when they are sleeping, he degrades and screams insults at me relentlessness for hours, explains why I am a piece of shit over and over, tells me I deserve to have my teeth based in, calls me mentally retarded and subhuman, demands divorce. But then says he's such a great dad because he's suffering through me for their sake. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:35 AM Flag
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Divorce him, he is not a good person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:40 AM Flag
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The kids are aware he is a bad person. By keeping him in your family, you are habituating them to bad people and increasing the odds that they will overlook red flags in partners themselves, being slightly too comfortable around unacceptable behavior, and wind up in unhappy marriages too. Get the kids away from him and help them understand how to avoid someone like him in their own lives, when they are old enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:42 AM Flag
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How old is old enough do you think? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:18 AM Flag
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This. As someone who normalized unhappiness as a condition in marriage by observing my parents, I say do your kids a huge favor and stop modeling a bad marriage as though it is standard fare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:20 PM Flag
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Speak to a lawyer asap and document his. You should have a restraining order [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:59 AM Flag
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iPhone voice notes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:15 AM Flag
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OP: what is this? How do you use it? Can you record an ongoing call? I've taped a few to my iPad on speakerphone but the evidence is not admissible in my state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:18 AM Flag
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Same. Do it anyway. If he threatens to kill you, go to police [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:57 AM Flag
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Document everything so you have full custody when you leave this abusive piece of shit. Go see a lawyer now to get advice. You don’t want your kids staying w him. In the meantime, For yourself, go to a therapist to help you stay the course and not fall prey to his mental abuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:30 AM Flag
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This. You are going to have to smile in his face all the while pulling an Omorosa on him. Document. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:20 PM Flag
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He will not lose custody if he is good to the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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you need to leave - this is NOT in the gray zone - it's really bad verbal and emotional abuse. You need to leave even if your kids get a little messed up initially - just provide a lot of love and therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:01 PM Flag
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Ahhhh, so many wonderful marriages on UB! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:17 PM Flag
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Go die. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:35 PM Flag
[ - ] If divorcing with young DCs, do you think there is ever a situation where it is ok to move away (like hours away, or a plane ride) from the other parent with DCs? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:18 AM Flag
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No, never okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:23 AM Flag
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How dumb and provincial are you that you cannot imagine even one practical example of this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:35 AM Flag
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Friend did this. Her DH had threatened to kill her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:25 AM Flag
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Usually the primary custodial parent (which is almost always the mother) has to stay put unless father gives her permission to move. But to answer your question, of course there are situations. If the primary custodian works overnights or evenings and can demonstrate difficulty & expense of finding off-hours childcare but has family in another state with whom the custodial parent & kids can live, a court would likely overrule any objection by the other parent. Sometimes one parent just isn't that into parenting and doesn't care where the other parent & kids go. I divorced (upstate NY) when kids were 9 & 10. Ex lived about a 45 min drive away for the first year, then moved back to MA where he was from and moved in with his high school sweetheart and her kids (slightly older). He still visited every other weekend and took the kids for 4 weeks during summer and we alternated holidays -- but even after he moved 250m away from the kids, if *I* had wanted to move to, say, North Carolina or FL, I would have needed his permission to do so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:33 AM Flag
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I've seen situations where the primary custodian moved prior to filing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:37 AM Flag
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If the spouse is abusive. Otherwise, it would be hard to justify and not fair for the kids or other parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 11:31 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:07 PM Flag
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Why are you asking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:15 PM Flag
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yes, of course. If dh and I were divorced, I could not afford to live here on my own, even with cs. It would be ridiculous and the kids would suffer. We only live here for dh's job. If we divorced, I would have to move somewhere less expensive and dh could figure out what he wants to do - go there, go nearby, or stay here until he retires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 01:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Should DS go to UCLA, Berkeley, Brown, or Princeton? wants to be a Psychiatrist 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:42 AM Flag
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Who is paying for college and medical school? Princeton will have best medical school placement and best long term name recognition for her CV. However it will matter much more where she goes to medical school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 09:46 AM Flag
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Also, you do not want her burdened with $250K in debt, so state vs private matters tons if you're not paying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:21 AM Flag
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Princeton is worth debt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:24 AM Flag
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Is it really? How so? Earning potential is the same regardless of where you do undergrad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:26 AM Flag
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DD's income will be what it is in psychiatry irrespective of where she goes to college.assuming she gets into medical school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:26 AM Flag
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Obviously Princeton. Is this a VBA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:23 AM Flag
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In what situation is someone asking this question in mid-August? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:27 AM Flag
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This lol. There is no DS, and no one got into any or all of these schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 10:36 AM Flag
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She got off the waitlists to all of them last week maybe. Lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 12:21 PM Flag
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yeah right. No one gets off the waitlist to Princeton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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If he is CA resident I would vote for UCLA or Berkeley just so that he won’t be saddled with debt. If money is no object, I guess Princeton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:03 PM Flag
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come back when your DC gets into all of these schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 02:34 PM Flag
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Princeton in a heartbeat if you can afford. Otherwise Berkeley. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:55 PM Flag
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This list is believable without Princeton [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.14.18, 05:56 PM Flag
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