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[ - ] name poll- Astrid for my DD due today :)))))) 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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Can't after watching Dexter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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Nobody will remember that in 3 years time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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My favorite show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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The daughter? I always though it was Astor (which is much worse) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Shit, indeed it is! I just looked it up! Watched it all these years (multiple times) and always thought it was Astrid. My hearing must be worse than I thought. Proceed, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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^maybe I didn't want to believe they would name that little girl Astor LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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i knew a swedish astrid in hs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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Love it, makes me think of Astrid Lindgren. Congrats and good luck with the birth!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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Aww congrats! I love this name, think it is so pretty and elegant and also love the meaning (star I think?) My only hesitation is the obvious possible teasing nicknames it could prompt. I hate to even have those thoughts about such a pretty name, but it's a hard one to ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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Yep. I know pop culture references will wane, but I still think "ass turd" (from the office) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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I like it but of course the nickname is ass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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this makes me just like it even more [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Good luck! Love Astrid. Middle name - Pippy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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Horrible name. But that might be because I associate it with Michael Scott thinking it was Astird so now every time I hear/see it that's all I think about & laugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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Always though this is a vulgar name. Putrid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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Vulgar? This word, I do not think it means what you think it means. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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This is random, but I like Agatha better. Nice and soft. Don't like names with "r" in them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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Like, except for the "ass" part [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:32 PM Flag
[ - ] iam an alcoholic and don't know what to do 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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Drink through it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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You're a real asshole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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You just did the biggest thing you could do - admittance. Now find a supportive community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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What are your repercussions of drinking? Some seem able to function pretty damn well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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Until they don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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Are you serious? HA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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Totally serious. Sil even drank through pregnancy. Niece is fine. But she functions really well, except she gets sad sometimes. Know another one who works in and fine. At least a bottle a day and will drink by himself. Guess the bottles from his wife sometimes because he current want to fight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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Hides the bottles BC doesn't want to fight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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Get help. It clearly is affecting your typing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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Np: go fuck yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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You are trash. Enjoy with your liver cirrhosis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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I don't drink, idiot. But, really, fuck yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:51 PM Flag
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Nice mouth. Please try not to choke on your own vomit tonight as you pass out once again on the floor of your trailer after having sex with your three-hundred pound toothless brother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:15 PM Flag
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Go to an AA meeting. Just listen. No one will judge you. Reach out for help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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Crossroads antigua. Changed my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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I'm a heavy drinker for years and wondered if i was an alcoholic. Coming off weeks of being sick and didn't even think about drinking for 2 weeks straight. Feel a little better about things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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What is your IQ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:16 PM Flag
[ - ] i cannot withstand the thought of being a SAHM any longer. makes me want to kill myself 241 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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stfu bitch... america is insane [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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wtf r u going off about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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THIS IS AN AUTOADMIT THREAD TROLL ALERT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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So don't be a stay at home mom. Or try it and see if the reality is better than the idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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And I can't stand the idea of marrying a cunty WOHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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Oh, ok, so it's troll lunch hour. TTYL, ladies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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UB wouldn't be half as fun without the trolls! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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No, then it might actually be **gasp** useful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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No, it wouldn't. It would just be less fun. Sometimes less annoying but mostly less fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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Said with NO snark - get a job then! Easier than killing yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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what are you're reasons [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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Same. That shit is completely unnatural and a bizarre, isolating modern phenomenon. Child-rearing has been a communal effort in most societies, with women undertaking various sorts of work in the community and sharing childcare duties with various other females/family members. It is only in modern America or pioneer environments where women literally stayed home alone all day with children. It's unhealthy for the women and also for the kids. Both need far more socialization and engaging activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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day care is also a bizarre, unnatural modern phenomenon. the people youre describing were typically large extended families who lived near each other or under the same roof [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Extended families PLUS members of the community.Daycare is also a modern phenomenon, but it at least provides children with the heavy socialization they need in early childhood. Keeping small kids at home all day with a single adult (even if you include a few trips to the park here and there) is a under-stimulating and stultifying environment for mother and child, alike. People are social creatures, and isolating them contributes to a host of psychological and social ills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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"the heavy socialization they need in early childhood" Link? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Life, history, common sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:39 PM Flag
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you're obviously a daycare kid yourself. there's a balance between daycare and home alone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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not for nothing, but most of the SAHM's that i know who have really little kids take them to play dates, go to classes, go to parks to play with other kids, go visit extended family, run errands all day and interact with people, etc. i don't know ANY SAHM who literally "stays home" all day with the kids. whenever kids stay home all day or get less interaction it is usually with the NYC nannies who are lazy and don't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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Agree. I hate dropping DS at daycare every day, but we just spent the weekend with my cousin and her two DDs that stay home with her all day every day and they are terrors. No structure, no social skills. Not saying that's everyone but it was crazy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Mmm, whenever we see a group of kids from a nearby daycare we try to leave the park. They push and have no clue about taking turns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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Riiiiiight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Yes, those two teachers supervise them poorly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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^^meaning your logic is flawed. One example isn't enough to make a conclusion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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That's why I said "not saying that's everyone" - realize that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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Why did you bring it up at all then? I know some annoying brats who stay home and equally annoying brats who go to a daycare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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lol. they actually need tons of close, intimate contact with a loving caregiver (i.e., immediate family). sure, you can get close to this with a great au pair, but lol at getting this from daycare. my son stayed home with me or his grandparents until he started preschool at 4, and now he's the most social kid in his kindergarten class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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Oh, well if he's doing great after 2 months of kindergarten it's clear that you're on easy street from here on out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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The members of their community were their family members. Also, they didn't know anything about child abuse, psychology, support and self-esteem. Times change. We evolve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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So you literally picture her and the kids sitting home all day? They don't go out, run errands, meet with other moms with kids, go to child play centers, etc? They just sit at home staring at a wall? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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Do you not see the ridiculousness of what you're suggesting? The reason they need to go to child play centers or that mommy needs to meet other moms with kids is precisely because their regular environment is so isolating and under-stimulating. It's unnatural. People fare best in highly social environments - adults and kids, alike. Small children should be surrounded by many others, and mothers should also have extensive peer interaction. The natural solutions for this are extended families and communal societies, but barring that, childcare + mommy working a 9-5 is a far better outcome from a psycho-social perspective than locking both in a house to only enjoy play dates and the occasional lunch with the girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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lol kill yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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So to you a few outings a week isn't enough for a mother and a 1 year old? It has to be ALL SOCIALIZATION/STIMULATION ALL THE TIME? "childcare + mommy working a 9-5 is a far better outcome from a psycho-social perspective than locking both in a house to only enjoy play dates and the occasional lunch with the girls." I enjoy watching my kids learn, grow, and develop. You think it's more fulfilling to push paper in an office all day? If I'm working 9-5, what time do you think I'm dropping the baby off? Plus I have to account for traffic and commute time. Let's say the kid wakes up at 7. By 8 we are probably getting ready to walk out the door to deal with drop-off and getting to work on time. Then at 5 I leave during rush hour to pick up baby and go home. Now I have to make dinner. Baby goes to bed at 7 or 8. How much quality time is in there? How much does daycare cost vs my salary? You're assuming a lot about my level of employment if you think I make out like a bandit by still working. Do you know how often babies and little kids get sick? How does that reflect on my job? So I'm going to miss all the milestones (both major and minor) so I can sit in an office and talk behind everyone's backs with the other women. If you don't give a shit about that then fine but why are you even having kids to begin with if that's the case? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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I always chuckle when MRA trolls pretend to be women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Mother of two with a third on the way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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that seems excessive. get ur tubes tied u fucking Amish faggot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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3 kids is excessive? Aren't you guys always complaining about how educated people aren't breeding enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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The UB prime directive: Whatever you think/are/do, OR knows/is/does better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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Don't care about this argument at all, but I love how every time SAH/WOH comes up the argument is made that WOHMs "push paper in an office all day." Yep, that's what we all do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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THANK YOU. i'm actually jealous of all the time that my wife gets with our baby. i see him for 1 very hectic hour in the morning and then maybe 60-90 minutes in the evening before bedtime (on the nights i'm able to get out on time). but at least i know that he's getting loving attention with his mom at home (or grandma/grandpa while mom's at grad school). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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every kid is different. some kids do better in daycare, some do better with SAH parent and occasional playdates. it's naive to generalize what is best for each individual kid. it's also easy to say "i would only/never do xyz with my kids" before you have them. i say reserve your judgment until you have your own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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O the great socialization available in corporate world!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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np: I love my job. My coworkers are literally my best friends, don't know what I would do without them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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That's so sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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My goodness, what daycare do YOU go to?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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Did you just call being a SAHM a "modern phenomenon"? LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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most societies also didn't have toilet paper and wiped their asses with leaves or their bare hands [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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Do you think "stay at home moms" literally stay at home all day and don't interact with others? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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why else would they call them that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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(girl pissed off after watching The Neverending Story) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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Riiiiight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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lol, like 75% of what stay at home moms do is arrange playdates and activities for the kids to see other kids and mom to see other moms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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This is why it's artificial and bizarre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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and dumping your kid off to be babysat by a nigerian making $10/hr isn't? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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lol this. Yea totally natural for toddlers i see at the playground being "supervised" by their nanny from Guatemala who jabbers in spanish all day then toddler calls her "mom" and cries when her cunt real mom comes home from work at 9 pm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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WTF does "artificial" mean in this context? Is it "artificial" when I arrange a meetup to see a show with the girls? It certainly doesn't arise naturally from my attempts to provide food and shelter for myself and my family. It's certainly not bizarre. It is actually very common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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I think she sees playdates and stuff as an inadequate attempt to recreate some sort of "natural" community engagement for parents. But even if you were to concede that, and that "unnatural" recreation is somehow inferior, the alternative of dropping a kid off at daycare while both parents work 9-5 is certainly no closer to the perceived "natural" communal engagement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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I admitted as much above, but even if neither recreates a truly natural communal state, the latter at least afford healthier socialization opportunities for both mother and child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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ur unhinged [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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Why do you think that? Why do you presume that any given job is a "healthier" environment for a parent than being a full-time parent? Why do you assume that any given third-party caregiver is a healthier environment for a kid than the environment created by his/her parent(s)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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No more artificial or bizarre than any other aspect of modern shitlife, and in fact, less artificial or bizarre than most. Are you really arguing it is more natural for kids to be raised by Central Americans making minimum wage than their own parents? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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yes. the invisible hand (and feminism) demands it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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You have a distorted perspective that's relevant for only certain segments of the world population. In the Western world the nuclear family was more the norm than not and women performed most of the childrearing duties, whether it was the 1950s housewife in the suburbs or the farmwife on a family farm. There might have been a grandmother or unmarried aunt helping out but this concept of a "village" raising the kids is really stretching it. Besides, even in your "village" what did you think most of the women were doing? Hoeing the fields and scrubbing the floors. Sounds pretty dreary to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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"It is only in modern America or pioneer environments where women literally stayed home alone all day with children." the way you just completely make shit up to support your point of view is jaw-dropping for me. when i advance an argument, i don't think i could bring myself to just pull something completely out of my ass and nonchalantly state it as an established fact. but for you, the practice is as natural as breathing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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lol @ this rationalization of your miserable life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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its lulzy but not surprising that she would take the position that idealizes her choices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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I understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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So go back to work. I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Do any of you even have children? My experience has been that below 2, babies need their mommas. After that? Day care seems to be quite beneficial. The little babes learn from each other. My little daughter digs the (expensive) day care she is in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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This is a reasonable position, but I think little kids need more socialization than just their mommas even before age 2. I'm not sure play dates and errands suffice, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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This is a reasonable position, but I think little kids need more socialization than just their mommas even before age 2. I'm not sure play dates and errands suffice, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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You know what you get from a kid who has constant stimulation all the time? A kid who requires you to be his recreation director and to constantly interact with him. Kids need socialization but they also need to learn how to entertain themselves and be independent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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THIS holy shit. daycare kids are annoying as fuck. kids who aren't forced to chill by themselves/with parents sometimes are insufferable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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I have no opinion on anything else posted in this thread, but can anyone take this particular post seriously? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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maybe you're right, maybe not. as far as i can tell, people who study what's best for kids can manipulate the data to get any result they want. my hunch is that children are pretty malleable and shit that happens at any given age is far less important than people want to acknowledge because they want to feel like their efforts are important [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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DW is on maternity leave with our second kid. Her exact text to me yesterday was: "Seriously, how do people do this. I can barely last a day." She is bored to death. Hanging out with a newborn and a little kid 16 hours a day isn't good for anyone, especially the kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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Tell her to go take them for a fucking walk then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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And do what? Kids need to be with other kids their age, and child rearing professional, or they are going to risk being too dull-normal...and adults need to be with other real adults (ie: not other SAHM's living in their weird world), or they will go crazy and start posting inane shit on Facebook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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i'm lost [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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lol so educated mothers aren't qualified to raise their kids now? Only child-rearing professionals should? If you're 2 year old isn't thrilled with going for a walk in a stroller and just checking out the sights then you've already lost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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No, not solely child-rearing professionals, but tossing one in there for half the day with some other kids for socialization, while mom takes another 7-8 hours of the day, surely doesn't hurt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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I think for a lot of parents/kids you're right. Some time away from the primary parent mixed in with a lot of parent time is a good balance for both kid and parent for most of the pre-school years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Pre-school is different from 2 and under. I started sending my kids to regular classes at 2 b/c I think it's good for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Yeah, I agree. I'm not sure precisely where the dividing line on age is, and it probably differs for each kid/parent, but I think less third-party care is better for really young kids and more third-party care and social interaction with peers is better for older (pre-school) kids. That said, if neither parent is good at and/or into being a primary caregiver, it might be better to hand the kid off to someone else who is good at it and wants to do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Agreed. I said it below, better to have less of a happy mom than more of a bitter one. But the idea that one is always the right way to go and one is always wrong is stupid. There are merits to both. Just because you can't understand why someone would want to stay home and raise their children doesn't mean it's stupid, meaningless, or for low IQ people. Different strokes. Some people would rather be social media consultants or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Sorry. On the Internet, there's my way and the wrong way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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I can't tell if this is sarcasm/criticism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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its completely accurate. kids need other kids. your lazy wife is stunting the childs development [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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tbf, and no offense, but it sounds like your wife may be a bit of a striver/corporate drone/lack of creativity type. it also telling that she's focused on her own entertainment/stimulation/fulfillment during this time. that doesn't take away from staying at home with your young kids tho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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my wife is definitely not a striver (works a chill 9-4:30 job)...and is a professional (ie: paid) artist on the side. she thinks the best way to raise a kid is by always having someone with energy to entertain and enrich them. One SAHM for 16 hours a day with no life experience outside of her kids isn't going to be doing that effectively, at least more often than not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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Wife's age? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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mid-30's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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"she thinks the best way to raise a kid is by always having someone with energy to entertain and enrich them." Kids don't need a clown to entertain them 24-7. She's got a newborn and is tired and that's fine. Let the older one entertain himself a bit. Your wife is on the older side so she is probably more exhausted than she anticipated this time around. Newborn stage is tough. If she really feels miserable after a few months, put them in daycare and send her to work. Better to have less of a happy mom than all of a bitter one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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yeah I hesitated cause I really don't want to insult your wife. a lot of us are guilty of being boring, including me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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Why do you think your wife is the only one with life experience outside of kids? You have a strange view of SAHM's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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Uhh, it's the lack-of-creativity types who would be a-ok sitting at home wiping a baby's ass all day. You know, the cheerful, lacking-in-opinions, 100-115 IQ types with no personality or vision types you guys love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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OH WHAT AN AUTHORITY ON CHILD-REARING! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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you are talking out your ass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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Just as much as the guy above to whom I'm responding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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sorry guys don't covet women like you i.e. cheerless, manically opinionated 110-115 IQ types with no personality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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Not sure why everyone is flaming you. I was the same way. I have no problem with SAHMs or SAHDs, but the idea of being one does not appeal to me in the least. Just like the idea of going to work and leaving DC with a nanny or in day care does not appeal to lots of other women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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remind her that the house isn't going to look spotless on its own and a delicious dinner isn't going to prepare itself. also give her a home project to do, like building a recessed entertainment center or some shit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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How does this address the issue? Doing housework doesn't relieve isolation and the stultifying/dulling effects of being stuck in a house most of the day, with only errands and play dates to look forward to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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shut up bitch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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I'm not sure why you seem to minimize "errands and play dates" so much. A lot of what stay at home parents do together is pretty closely analogous to the kind of social/communal rearing environment you seem to think is ideal. Obviously, if it's one playdate a week and an hour in the car every day, that's very different than the wide range of other activities that parents/kids often participate in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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because it should give her a sense of purpose, which apparently the wife doesn't seem to have from taking care of the baby. not everything is about social stim 24/7. sometimes u just gotta do what u gotta do. u think most of us wanted to go to work today? of course not, but we did it nonetheless (and most of us without complaining) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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Making dinner is does not provide a "sense of purpose" for anyone with an above-room temperature IQ. It is a daily chore, just as child-rearing is biological responsibility, not a job or calling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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jfc. what do you do for a living that you have the time to post this much on UB at 3pm? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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People can take pride and find purpose in anything they do well and expertly. Just because you don't doesn't mean it doesn't have value or purpose. Starting to sound like theory of mind deficit. Congrats on officially being autistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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Once you have a family, people who are not selfish cunts stop worrying about having a "calling" A job is just as fucking mind numbing as sitting at home and cleaning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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to be fair, it does give her a sense of purpose. She would jump in front of a car for any of our kids and spends tons of time thinking about how to raise our kids (and is exclusively with them for 5 hours a day and all weekend). But she truly thinks that raising a kid with a SAHM is not the best way to raise them. One harried 16 hour a day SAHM is just not going to be as effective as two rested adults who can truly focus.....and then, to boot, being a productive member of society is important to her to boot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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"stultifying/dulling" couldn't decide which right-click thesaurus option to roll with, eh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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She does that and totally runs our household. That takes an hour or two tops per day while she is doing other shit....hell, she did all that with a full time job without issue. As for some recessed entertainment center project, I want less shit in our house, not more. We got enough shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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it just depends. my wife doesnt have kids, but i can tell she is someone who would be really into being a SAHM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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but he's seen one example to the contrary so it must be bad for all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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she need a babysitter so she can go out and do things for herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:15 PM Flag
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Funny how OP voiced a though and barely anyone responded to her directly. OP: I'm not a SAHM but I know what it feels like to feel trapped in a situation. It happens to a lot of us, no matter our status. I would start looking at way to change your current situation if you can. You'll be a lot happier when you find what works for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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^^voiced a thought, not "though" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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And unfortunately this is the only place you're allowed to say it, lest you be accused of being a monster. Take heart - you still have the fire smoldering! I agree totally with the above poster - it is unnatural and not all that beneficial in my opinion to have women simply stop being productive members of society at age 30 to spend the rest of their lives either in the home or doing fairly menial labor. The ones who do and are cool with it immediately strike me as totally incapable of existing in modern society - their "careers" were simply a short interlude between being supported by their parents to being supported by their husbands. The moms who just love being SAHMs and can't imagine doing anything else are the ones who strike me as people whose goal in life is to float along as simply as possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:59 PM Flag
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Women always pulling this fulfillment bullshit out of their asses like that is not a selfish reasoning. Do you think men work their fucking asses off for career fulfillment? Men work to provide for their families. Women work so they feel good about their ability to pay for their own shit for a few years - and to distract their chicken minds from the tedium of being a good team player in a marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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"That's OUR money. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about MY money that I EARNED ON MY OWN FROM MY OWN JOB," every woman in a relationship [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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*nods and contributes to OUR 401K* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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Why don't you find a chick who can contribute equally if this bothers you? You can either have a low-earning woman who you subsidize and will be your stay-at-home, or you can have a high-earning woman who you don't subsidize and don't have to call a "chicken mind." You can't expect one woman to fulfill both, however, and it seems condescending to be with a partner who you feel doesn't carry their own weight or is somehow mentally inferior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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Either is fine. The problem is the lower earning over-educated woman who thinks her $60,000 - $110,000 career is just as important as mine because it gives her independence and purpose in life. Career fulfillment is a luxury for those who dont have to worry about money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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It IS just as important to her. Why would you want to deprive her of something which she prizes so much? It won't make for a happy partner or relationship, and no amount of money you earn can compensate for her loss of autonomy or self-respect. You don't have to worry about money, so her "luxury" of a career it not a concern for you, except to the extent that it makes her happy and enables a successful relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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which is all completely selfish. and women dont realize it is being selfish. Anything that is more important to an individual but which does not further the team is selfish. It's basically like me prioritizing basketball or some other hobby over my family. connecting happiness to a career is a luxury and insisting on it to the detriment of the team is selfish. The problem is not the loss of self respect, its that chicken-minds need a career for 3 years to be able to have self respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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Choosing to work is not prioritizing work over family - People can be perfectly good parents and not stay at home. Or do you believe you'll be an inadequate father for working? There is no detriment to the "team" occurring; you'd have to be hysterical to believe this. The real detriment would occur if one partner were deprived of something they love, and it is selfish to dictate WHICH things are acceptable for a woman to love. All human being seek meaning and purpose in life, and for a great many of us, our work and ambitions provide this in part. There is nothing "chicken headed" about this. If you do not derive any purpose or meaning from your work, then perhaps you'd be better suited as a SAHD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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"The real detriment would occur if one partner were deprived of something they love, and it is selfish to dictate WHICH things are acceptable for a woman to love." You mean like you are doing regarding SAHMs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Feeling deprived by not being able to do the job you want is selfish in the context of a family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Why isn't this selfish for men? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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because most men dont have the luxury of working for love. If a man insisted on keeping his shit job (or hobby) to the detriment of the family, I would say the same thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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You could literally say the exact same thing about a woman wanting to be a SAHM but instead you vilify it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Dude - another guy here. Wait until you've been in the game for 15 or 20 years before you brag about how much you're willing to forgo fulfillment for the rest of your life so you can bring in the big money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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Kind of. How many women have said here and everywhere else that "women need to have their own money, just in case." But your husband's money needs to be readily available in case his wife needs it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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lol, i LITERALLY spit out my water at "distract their chicken minds" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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I was arguing with my wife about how she should look for another job and she said "you just want me to make more money" and I was like "no fucking shit" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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A Woman's perception of a career is invariably selfish. A man's is usually unselfish. When a woman disagrees and says "I want to be able to be independent and provide - how is that selfish?" just ask how how well she is doing saving for her and her husband's retirement, and her future kids college education. "But I can afford my own prada sunglasses" *parents still pay for car insurance and gas* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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You interact with shitty/immature/entitled women, then. I do 80% of the saving for our household and am contributing the entirety of the down payment on our condo, for example. I'd hate to be with a man who viewed me as selfish, intellectually inferior, financially incapable/irresponsible, etc. I think most women would leave if they knew their partner perceived them this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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right, but that's cause you married a pseudo bum (no offense). So the relationship dynamic bends towards you otherwise selfish career decisions. If he made twice as much as you and wanted you to just settle down and stay put, you would have a hard time with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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He makes over $100k. The relationship dynamic bends to our collective needs and preferences, not my career. If he earned twice as much, I'd still work, because I could not respect myself or enjoy life much, otherwise, and I don't think SAHMs are good parental role models. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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>> If he earned twice as much, I'd still work, because I could not respect myself or enjoy life much, otherwise, << THAT'S ENTIRELY HIS POINT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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I understand, but it is a point he does not internalize or respect. Women are human beings, too, and if it is not selfish for a man to pursue a career, then it is not selfish for a woman to do so. Only a true misogynist would say that men's careers are more meaningful because work is simply a vanity or intellectual affectation for women and that only men are truly selfless providers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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I think his point is that men are more likely to pursue their careers *for the purpose of contributing to others' livelihood and wellbeing* than women, and that makes their pursuit less selfish. I think that is partially true, but undersells the good feelings such men get from viewing themselves as a good provider or good "catch". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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That's based on a spurious, sexist perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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Care to elaborate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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It really depends who makes the money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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I think that, despite big changes over the last several decades, it is still empirically true that *more* men are motivated to work/earn by a desire to contribute to the wellbeing of their family and/or GF than women. This is in part due to traditional gender roles, but that doesn't make the fact itself (which I am assuming to be true) "sexist". The prevalence of single mothers may skew these numbers though. It obviously doesn't apply to all men or all women. And, as I've noted before, his conclusion regarding selfishness/selflessness leaves out a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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I think it's an affectation of your social class. This has never been true for working-class people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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Lol. It has "never" been true for working-class people that men are expected to be providers and women are not expected to contribute (or contribute as much) monetarily? Are you serious? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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she's going to say she's a trash latina from the ghetto and that working class men are all tatted thugs who end up in prison. yawn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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*says every female biglawyer for 4 years until she quits to have a kid* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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The belief that women work for purposes of vanity and/or vain reasons while men's work is selfless is itself premised on the notion that women's work isn't necessary, and that men are the providers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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Eh, you could just as easily point to some Top Gear junkie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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I agree with this, but you also show a lack of respect or empathy for the choices made by SAHMs, by declaring that they "are not good parental role models." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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That's my personal perspective, and not a prescriptive statement that should apply to all women [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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+1 She is entitled to her own opinions, of course, but they are pretty lulzy and warped on this topic to the extent she tries to apply them to anyone other than herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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(Misogynist) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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(person who thinks career fulfillment is important because it will prevent a woman resenting her husband - and thinking this is not selfish) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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Link to me saying I think that? I don't. What is important is that both partners are fulfilled and respect one another. It is selfish of men to expect that every woman will be fulfilled by being a SAHM when they wouldn't expect the same of themselves. Just because a woman earns less than you, it doesn't mean she'll be happy as a SAHM -and just because you earn more, it doesn't mean you'd be unhappy as a SAHD, either. Finding the right balance for your specific relationship context is key and what is actually unselfish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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pigeonhead, he is saying men don't work to be FULFILLED. They do it to provide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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Pigeonhead, I'm telling him that 1)This is misogynistic bullshit, 2)Even if it were true, depriving a partner of something which fulfills them is in itself selfish, and 3) He fails to recognize how he is being selfish and focusing only on his needs/fulfillment by thinking this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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men are never fulfilled because they get henpecked all day at the office and all day at home by wonky cunts. Women think exclusively of their own "fulfillment" and not about what they can offer others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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I would quit my job in 5 seconds if my wife made a million dollars and wanted me to watch the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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What if she made exactly as much as you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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Then we could discuss what makes sense. Note I am not saying all women with children should be SAHM or that one person needs to stay at home. I am just saying both couples should do what is best for the team, and taking personal fulfillment into account is selfish. Thinking it is important for the team that a woman does not resent her family for getting in the way of a career simply normalizes that selfish perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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Women who do not choose to SAHM aren't necessarily of the belief that family is "getting in the way" of their careers. More often, they simply believe they can be good parents while continuing to work. The disagreement is about whether one can be a good parent while continuing to work. I believe one can - take, for example, all of the good fathers who nonetheless work full-time. The same can apply to working mothers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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"good parents while continuing to work" is a contradiction. it took Samantha Power, or was it Anne-Marie Slaughter, women are interchangeable, 25 years to figure out that women can't be in two places at the same time -- that nobody can HAVE IT ALL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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then he should work. A woman will change her mind in 18 months and decide that she would be more "fulfilled" by staying home and he will be out of the market. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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Eh - I'm in almost that position, and I haven't stopped working. There's a weird thing that happens when you spend a few years being the one waiting at home to eat dinner with two kids running in circles while your wife waltzes in 45 minutes late laughing on her cell phone with some guy she works with. Or when she doesn't even think to ask you anymore - she just says "oh, I'm leaving early tomorrow morning. And then I'm going out on Wednesday, and I have the trainer on Thursday." If I didn't work I'm pretty sure that she'd quickly put me into the "castrated home helper" role. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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you are missing the point. If women did not respect men less for staying at home, then there would not be a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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legit LOLd at pigeonhead. I think undergirding some of this conversation is a fundamental presupposition of work in this society as personally fulfilling. and if she and others have that, good for them, most of us don't find fulfillment in work. Work gives us a check to support the family and we try to maximize our free time to other pursuits. I feel as if where you fall on that is predictive of opinions on stay at home parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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if work in this society is fulfilling to you, you are a CORPORATE WHORE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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the point of having a family is not really (self) fulfillment and happiness. it's more self sacrifice and what is best for the "family unit" as a whole. you have to then find fulfillment in developing your family rather than yourself and put your own personal fulfillment on the backburner. that is the best attitude for men and women to take into starting families since nobody can "have it all." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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bam. nice post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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what are your plans once you start shitting out babbies? are you planning on being a SAHM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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no, i make too much money at 75% of our combined income, plus my company is family friendly and they will work w/ me to do a flex schedule, like 8am-4pm. there are women here who also take fridays or mondays off. my husband also works from home 3 days/week so the plan is that he in conjunction with my mother the other 2 days will take care of the baby during the day. i would never send my child to daycare under the age of ~2 and my mother does not want us hiring a nanny but i would be fine hiring a PT nanny if my mother wasn't around. frankly, if i got to the point where i am assured $400-500k/year (and not $500k one year and $200k another year due to wildly fluctuating bonuses), my husband would quit his job and stay home w/ the kids. he's already begging to quit his job now. i told him "no" since he makes $100k literally playing xbox at home 3 days/week. it's like free money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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while harsh, generally true. funny thing, I see this red herring about uncreative women and yet I know of 2 SAHMs in my wife's circle who are artists. shitlibby "identity politics" artists, but they actually sell their work and SAHM and love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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interesting people are interesting. they can take any situation and will make it interesting and not boring. it's the people who are constantly bored with things who are actually boring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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/thread [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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This. I think Bill Cosby said that. Only boring people get bored. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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You compares young, single childless women (who are buying prada sunglasses and letting their parents pay for their gas) to middle-aged guys who are raising kids and saving for college education. WTF does he think men are working for during their 20s and early 30s before they get married? Yeah all that money spent on alcohol, drugs, trips to Vegas and taking girls out on dates in attempts to get laid is so SELFLESS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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Stop thinking like a millennial. Responsible men have been saving for the future since they are able to afford it. I've been saving for a non existent wife, kids and retirement the second I started making 6 figures (when I was 27). Lol at ANY 32-33 year old woman having $500,000 saved on her own for retirement or to buy a house. lol at any woman buying a house without parental support. Men and women have a different idea of what it means to be fiscally independent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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This is fucking awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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no he is right, unfortunately. at least where i am (NYC) the young women are extremely financially irresponsible. of course there are outliers, and many women become much more fiscally responsible when they get into a marriage-track relationship, but most are pretty bad. it's a combination generally of being enabled by their parents and having the expectation of finding a man who makes (and saves) a lot of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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That's why sexism is a vicious cycle. Men select for dainty, pretty, soft women -- the sort who lack the fortitude and character to make a real life for themselves and withstand enough challenges/adversity to support themselves and a family. Again, this is not an issue among working-class women. They work their asses off, support their families, and know how to handle their (limited) means. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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actually, it's narcissism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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i think you need to be a feminine woman. sexual dimorphism is a thing men and women are both looking for. working class women's men are tatted wife-beating types. that's how they act out their masculinity because they can't find any jobs at all. i don't approve or disapprove, but that is what they are doing. you are disingenuous if you think working class men fantasize about "strong independent" shrews (who are really whores enthralled to the corporate machine -- the best COMPANY MEN are shrew women) It's great if a wife can earn as much as me but I will never compromise on looks, nurturing, caring, sweet, loyal, cheerful -- traits befitting a wife and mother -- in order to enable some shrew to cuck me with her fucking cubicle, LOL, you've seriously drunk that business school kool aid to the max, you think working in a cube is something TRANSCENDENTALLY WONDERFUL. literally a job as a STRIPPER does more good for humanity (but then again I don't look down on strippers, they are wonderful) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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UB shrew poster, in the words of the immortal Frank Zappa, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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WAHM pt here, and you have a point. But I'll raise you this--many men (not all) have no idea, and are often not capable of making that house a home, and man who does not understand and respect that is not going to have a happy home. For most couples I know--whether the wife/mom works or doesn't, it is the wife/mom who truly understands what is going on with the kids and makes the house a pleasant home in which to live. Sexist? Maybe. But no more off base that your observation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:11 PM Flag
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Just go to any biglaw class. Everyone makes the same $200K. Go see what the men and what the women do with this money. Sure everyone maxes out their 401K, but women think of that extra $50,000 on top of that as spending money. Because they still, making $200K, expect to marry someone who makes more money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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This is fucking awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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it's true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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Them is some daisy-ass bitches who need to learn to fend for themselves. Men shouldn't put up with this shit. They do it because they know you want them primarily for their uteruses and child care services, and that they can just chillax after birthing a kid or two. They should have some fucking self-respect or correct whatever cognitive dissonance makes them behave this way. Respect yourself enough to be an equal contributor or accept that you will always be a man's pseudo-possession and that your primary life function is child rearing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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they ARE fending for themselves, but they are being narcissistic about it. get used to it. unfortunately, narcissism isn't going away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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Men only want women to sacrifice, not men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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why do you think leaving your job is a sacrifice? I don't feel that way about my job as long as someone makes a lot of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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Because I spent my entire life preparing to get where I am? I also enjoy it and it makes me feel as though I'm contributing to society. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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those are all selfish considerations. if you accept that then fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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Why is it selfish for a woman to want to have an identity aside from her children, but it's not for a man? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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because when you want something for yourself and not for your family, it is selfish. if a man is working because it makes him feel good and props up his self esteem, then he is being selfish too. But most men work shitty jobs they hate because of the money. Of course it is seldom the case that men have the luxury to figure out if they can work for their "identity" because most women do not make as much money as men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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Np, good point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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you are missing the point. If women did not respect men less for staying at home, then there would not be a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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this is a simplistic way of looking at what it means to "sacrifice" b/c you're presuming that leaving your job is making a "sacrifice." for people who don't particularly like work, it's a sacrifice to have to continue to work and miss time w/ your kids! in my situation, i didn't marry a surgeon who makes $500k/year so i can't quit my job and be a SAHM, so instead, i consider it a "sacrifice" that i have to continue working and not be able to spend as much time as i want w/ my future kids. but that is a sacrifice i am willing to make b/c it simply makes financial sense when you are the main income earner. you think men are not "sacrificing" b/c they don't have to quit their jobs when they have kids. but fathers absolutely consider it a sacrifice that they're the one working while the mother gets to spend all the time w/ the kid and presumably be closer w/ the kids. the guy across the hall from me has a 6 months old and he constantly talks about how he is sad that the baby is often asleep by the time he gets home. are you honestly saying he's not making sacrifices b/c he gets to work his corporate office job? he'd switch roles w/ his wife in a second if he could. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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" i consider it a "sacrifice" that i have to continue working " How are you sacrificing when you're in the exact same position you were in before you got married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:06 PM Flag
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because you have a fucking baby and are now responsible for someone other than yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:06 PM Flag
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um b/c having kids is a complete game changer and comes with a whole new set of responsibilities and burdens? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:06 PM Flag
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lol. average narcissism of a woman is unreal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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great, great post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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Why are you posting long responses about how tough it is to be a parent and the sacrifices it entails if you don't have kids? You have no idea what it means to be a parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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Why is it that women are always the ones who make the most sacrifices and "redefining" for the sake of the family? Men get to go on with their lives and jobs as they were before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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let me know when men start producing milk, cumslut [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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Women are the ones who birth the children. Women are the ones who need to recover from said childbirth. Women are the ones who produce milk for their babies. You can cry MISOGYNY all you want but it's literally biology. That is why most of the time child-rearing is done by the woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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I get the feeling your question was not meant to be serious, but I will answer it as if it were. First, a lot of times women are earning less than men, so the family would be better off financially if the woman takes time off from her career than if the man were to do so. Second, a lot of women find it harder to "abandon" their kids for a job than men do. This is probably some mix of biology and cultural conditioning (on both the male's part and the female's part). I'm pro SAHD if it makes sense for the family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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The idea that you think "men get to go on with their lives and jobs as they were before" as if this is some sort of concession is part of the problem. I dont work because I like it or because it makes me feel like a smart independent girl, I work because it pays for the mortgage and for the future retirement of my future wife and maybe for any kids. Women think providing for families is sitting back like NBD? Go ahead and make $400,000. I will gladly quit and work some hobby job from home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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The irony, of course, is that a lot of women would eventually resent you for that. In fact, the reason why a lot more men don't become SAHDs in high earning marriages (aside from a general male desire to provide, similar to a woman's maternal instinct) is exactly because the woman would lose respect for the man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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THIS. no matter how liberal or effete the circle, that biological instinct always rears its ugly head. MY MAN MUST LEAVE CAVE HUNT BIG GAME. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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do women hold open doors, pay on dates, or die fighting in wars? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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Are women the ones at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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I condemn this system that tells women to waste their time in school for bullshit white collar slavery jobs when they'd be much better off getting pregnant and bouncing back everything still tight and intact between 16 and 26. THEN go back to school to shrew, whatever. The white collar corporate slavery is BAD ENOUGH that men (who are tough and can take it) have to go through it; it's an outright RIPOFF SCAMLIE to tell women to go through it, and btw, we need all that extra $$$$$ to buy a bunch of shit we don't need -- including tuition because the public schools are all fucked up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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Yeah. Supporting their families as the sole breadwinner. NBD. When are we going to learn to start respecting each other? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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when you are married with kids. anyone who does anything for reasons other than "i am trying to support my family" is being selfish to the extent it takes away something from the family unit - whether it is attention, time, money, etc. The question is how bad it is to be selfish in each situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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Sometimes I wonder who the better parent is. My wife the SAHM or me who works 60+hours week. The boys definitely love her more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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i'm sure they will thank you for your sacrifice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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no he hasn't sacrificed anything? He gets to work 60+ hours a week which should make him feel warm and fuzzy like a big girl. He hasn't had to change a thing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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According to the crazy lady above, I'm the better role model even though I'm rarely around the house. She may sneer at the wife for being a SAHM but the boys really love being with her and she loves being with them and being a mother and all that shit and I get pleasure knowing that I can support them. I'm not going to pretend that the boys would be damaged if we threw them into child care and both worked full time. Needs must. But she is making ridiculous assumptions about what constitutes a good or bad role model for children or what constitutes proper self worth for the adults. Looking back at my childhood I can't find a pattern among the kids of SAHMs and the kids of working mothers. Neither group has a greater claim on morality or future success. Nor were the SAHMs any more or less likely to end up happier or unhappier than the working mothers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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np +1 DH & I both had really loving SAHMs and we both feel grateful for that. (Not slamming WOHMs, just pointing out that we both had great experiences with moms at home.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 11:05 PM Flag
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And I can't stand women who vilify SAHMs. The insane woman above in this thread believes that being a SAHM is a complete waste of time for the woman, her family, and society. She sees more benefit to hiring out childcare so the mother can work. Most of the reasonable people in here are saying "different strokes for different folks." Some women prefer to work, some prefer to stay home. You're the ones who are by and large devaluing one over the other. Yeah there are a few guys here and there saying one vs the other is better, but she literally cannot fathom a world where there is any value to being a SAHM. That is insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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+1 Let's hire it out to the poor women of the world! We're too important to take care of our own children!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:03 AM Flag
[ - ] 2nd grader received 1's for organizational skills on report card. WTH is that?? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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Desk is messy. (S)he can't find anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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So this is an academic thing or a behavioral thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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Why does it need to be categorized? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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Well why is it even on the report card? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Obvioulsy her organizational skills would have an impact on her academics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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How so? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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quit being dense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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ask the teacher what the plan is to fix it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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Ds, ask A's on academics. Loses/misplaces everything! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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All A's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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Save it and give it to her when she's an adult. She'll either think it's hilarious, or comforting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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Hmm, that's actually a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone here besides me feel guilt for things that they did as a kid? I remember taunting a heavy kid in grammar school. I often think about this and feel terrible. I would love to look the kid up and apologize, but I realize that is pretty self-serving. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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I was the kid that was taunted - not heavy, but awkward. Do not contact this person. I would crawl out of my skin if my tormenter contact me. She lives in the city too, and I'm always afraid of running into her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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+1 You're dredging up potentially painful memories just so *you* can feel better. The guilt is your punishment, but it's also motivation for treating people better from now on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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I would love for my former bully to apologize to me. I'm always nervous about running into people from my past, but I would appreciate an apology. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Yes, I was a big brat at times! Hope my own kids learn from my stories on How Not to Behave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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S/o: so I guess you wouldn't consider yourself a "good" person [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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I didn't do mean things to other kids in school. Some of them did mean things to me. At my 30th high school reunion, a former classmate came up to me and apologized for being mean to me in high school. I guess she was trying to purge her guilt. Too little, too late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Really? I know others were mean to me but I was an abuser sometimes, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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Nope, I never did a mean thing to anyone. I wasn't that kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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Well, you were a rare good kid. Kudos to you and your parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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I wasn't rare. There were a lot of really nice kids when I was growing up. Everyone knew who the mean ones were. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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I gave attitude to some kid in my high school once and he killed himself sometime later that year. I'm not saying I was the cause because I was a nobody to him. But you really remember a dick move like that for a long time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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No but I have guilt for the way I treated guys I dated in the past. I was needy and clingy and I didn't realize it until I dated someone even worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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I was made fun of a few kids in high school, never in a mean way, more in a everyone taking potshots kind of way. But I got it really bad in middle school, even attempted suicide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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^ oops, I made fun of [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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If someone who bullied me showed up to apologize to me, I would feel really good about it. Also I did apologize to someone I mistreated horribly in school. And she really appreciated it. I didn't do it to feel good. I still don't feel good. I did it because I wanted to take responsibility for my actions. I even asked her before I apologized if it was okay for me to talk about something very personal. When she gave me permission, I went ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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I was in a high-profile leadership position in college, and a guy who was upset about some things our group had done made a very public and very nasty speech against me. It was personal and very mean. I was floored to get an email from him nearly 20 years later sincerely apologizing for it, etc. We've now actually become friends, and I've come to really like his wife as well. I'm very glad he contacted me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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Someone apologized to me once and I thought it was nice. It was along the lines of "I was a real asshole in HS, and it took me a long time to grow up. I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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DO NOT do it. It is totally self serving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
[ - ] My mom wants to give XMas gifts to our kids 2 weeks before Xmas because she's going away. But she'll be back right after new yrs eve. I don't want DCs to get Christmas gifts this early. Plus, she said she bought them 12 gifts each!! Wtf? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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bitch, you crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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Oh boo hoo! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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If you're religious, I think you should celebrate Epiphany on Jan 6. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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lol Perfect satire! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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(1) she's giving the gifts, not you; (2) most likely, your kids will be thrilled (unless the individual gifts are socks or coal chunks). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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This is nuts. This is called over abundance. I get that grandmas spoil but this is way over the top. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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How is it over the top? You don't even know what she is giving? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Have her give them to you, then put them under the tree to be opened December 25. When your kids are opening them, Skype or Facetime her so she can see them open her presents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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Let your mom do what she wants. Seriously. Being an indulgent Grandmother is a GOOD thing. They will be more excited before they get tons of other stuff, and she will feel good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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Let them open her gifts in front of her. You cannot dictate everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.22.14, 12:01 AM Flag
[ - ] I posted before about sending my cats to a feline retirement home due to my allergies. Fortunately, ds took it very well. Now that a date is set to drop them off next Wednesday, I feel a heartsick! 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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Is that a euphemism for the pound? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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No, its actually a cat sanctuary in CT - they charge $5k/cat https://www.thelastpostonline.org [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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That is sad. Nothing you can take for the allergies? Did you not have allergies when you got the cats? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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No allergies before, developed them within a month of adopting them. No amount of medication/steroids helps now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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Did you try allergy shots? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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No but lots of prescription antihistamines & steroids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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np. Sad that the OP has to give up her cats, but really not so sad for the cats. I've been to this place -- you can actually just go visit and hang out with cats if you like them ;) I went with a friend who was scouting it out for her cat. It's spacious, it's well kept, there's lots of indoor and outdoor space. If the OP can't keep her cats, this is not a bad option. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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I lived with cats in the house for almost 20 years for "the sake of the kids". My allergies never completely went away, sometimes it was miserable, but mostly it was tolerable. Last cat died in March the age of 19. Those cats lived the good life, but I don't miss them LOL. Much prefer our poodle mixes who do not shed or crap in a litter box. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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Seems like so much work walking dogs though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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^^^^sorry,meant to add you will get over the heartache and the cats will enjoy lounging in a sunny window. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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Thanks, they have a 37 acre facility. I really hope they will have a good life there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Can someone explain Inmate Mom to me? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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she's funny. she pretends she's in jail. she gives us perspective when we need it. some people think she is tina fey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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I don't think she's funny. I roll my eyes whenever she shows up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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well, we can't help it if you don't have a sense of humor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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You are a broken individual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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If you think you're funnier, then go ahead. Amuse us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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She's not actually in jail???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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*eyeroll* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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dude. there's no internet in jail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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I guess I just figured she was in a Martha Stewart type jail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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There is in some federal facilities - former clients - but there are filters, I believe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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Ty. I'm new here. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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She is so not funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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I don't think she is supposed to be funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:16 PM Flag
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+1 sometimes she just gives pretty sensible advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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Can someone explain Tarot Mom to me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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Are their multiple Tarot Moms? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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*there. Autocorrect, sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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yep, there's a few posters who do tarot readings. stick around, you'll get to know 'em. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Tiresome. The shtick is stale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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Sad but true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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Aw, I think it's funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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I think so too. Even when she's not funny she's not aggressive about it, like some posters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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I agrees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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Does Make Up Mom post a lot or only sometimes? I can never catch her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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Sometimes only. Skincare Mom is also as helpful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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I'd rather get skin care advice than make up advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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She's my homegirl! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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She seems to know details: maybe someone in law enforcement or someone who did some white-collar time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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Ummmm. Do people really not understand the joke? Do some people really think this is a real person? I have a bridge to sell you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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I like her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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So do I. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
[ - ] My fourteen-year-old just texted me to ask what I think Draco Malfoy gets for Christmas. Now I'm looking at Jack Wills at work. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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"The Art of War", Sun Tzu [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:01 PM Flag
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OP. Love this idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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I would read a series that was basically just Draco Malfoy as the bitchy gay magical music theater kid (c'mon, he wrote "Weasley is Our King"), Pansy Parkinson as the Regina George of Hogwarts, and Crabbe and Goyle getting high of magic weed. With a "She's All That" plot starring Hermione's makeover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:02 PM Flag
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OP. This is what I want for Christmas. Harry Potter as a late 1990s/early 2000s teen flick like "Can't Hardly Wait." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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That's cute!! Sounds like you guys have a nice relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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OP. We do! Thank you. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Bobble-head Joffrey Baratheon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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Ha! Ha! One Ring of the Black Gate of Mordor lego set. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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One Ring OR the Black Gate of Mordor legl set. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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OP. Perfect! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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OP. Love these suggestions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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TY. Both blonde creeps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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I have no idea what you're talking about. Not sure if I should be glad or embarrassed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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OP. Why not both? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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Then maybe both. But it'd really depend on who he was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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Jack wills from wonder? I'm so confused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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The newest Nimbus 200_ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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Can someone explain this post to me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:28 PM Flag
[ - ] PSA: Trader Joe's Himalayan Truffle Salt. Yum! 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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What's that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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Presumably it's Himalayan Truffle Salt that can be purchased at Trader Joe's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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Try some on skinny pop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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OP: I am eating it on my regular stove-popped popcorn. Delicious! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:01 PM Flag
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right? when did we start thinking about buying instead of making our own? it's so damn easy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:03 PM Flag
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Eh. It's easier to just buy it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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OP: How much easier could it be than to make it yourself? I have an old school Whirly-Pop hand crank stove top popcorn maker. It is awesome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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Well...for one thing your method requires owning an additional thing for the kitchen. Fine if you have the room. It also requires you to clean said contraption afterwards. SO, while it certainly is pretty easy, it is not easier than purchasing popcorn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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put kernels in pan w/ olive oil. put top on. wait 5 minutes. popcorn. seriously, how lazy can you be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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No olive oil, burns. Canola or coconut. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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i do olive oil every friday. i do not turn it up high enough to burn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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Also need to clean the pan. I didn't say it was difficult. I said it's easier to buy it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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Store bought popcorn tastes like cardboard. There is no substitute for homemade. Plus, it is a lot cheaper to make it yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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Okay. I was just responding to the question of why we don't all make it ourself. The answer is that people sometimes go the easier route. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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I feel like someone from TJ corporate comes on here and pushes their product. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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OP: Trust me, I don't work for corporate. Just sharing a good find. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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nah. just lame suburban moms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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Tell me what's so good about it. Also, pricey? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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OP: It's $4.99 for 2 ounces. Similar stuff is more like $15 elsewhere. It has little bits of truffles in it and it really tastes like truffles. Delicious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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That does sound good. I wonder if that's Chinese truffles because I've heard some Chinese truffle is good. Is 2 oz about 1/4 cup? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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OP: It's not much when you look at it (it comes in a sealed plastic pouch inside a tin, but it is strong. Even a tiny pinch will get you a lot of flavor. I could see using this in mashed potatoes and things like that. On the label it says "freeze dried summer truffle" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] What are the chances of a 45 year old mom, attractive blond, size 6, with a 5 yo dd getting remarried in NYC? 63 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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Good, as long as you are also looking at other late 40s, early-mid 50s divorced men with kids who do not want any more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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Op. No I don't want more children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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I figured that was assumed. I mean that you will have to find men who also do not want any more kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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No, try mid to late fifties. All the dam single forties guys are all looking for 30 yos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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Well, I wouldn't rule out mid to late 50s, but men who are done having kids do not want to marry 30 year olds who still want kids or might decide down the line they still want kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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Men are not done with that until 60. Look how finals r Trump and Rupert Murdoch has kids in their dotage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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Funny that you pick 2 of the richest men in America. Many UMC men in NYC who are already paying alimony and child support don't necessarily want to have more with wife #2. I say this as someone who was dumped by an older man while she was still in the prime of her fertility for that very reason- he went on to remarry someone closer to his own age precisely because he did not want any more kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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Well, then good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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It depends on your criteria and your standards. If all you want is anyone to marry you, your chances are 99.99% If you want a handsome multi-millionaire with no ex and no children who is a great dresser, your religion, loves the same movies and music you do, brings you flowers every night, has a house in the islands and a private plane, etc., your chances are ve got a good shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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Op. I would expect exes and kids with a 45+ man or that would really ring alarm bells. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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Only God knows what happens tomorrow. Live your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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I just threw up a little in my mouth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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Very good, I'll say, and then you'll start adding conditions. Must be over 6 feet tall (70% of men ruled out). Must have income of at least 500,000. (95% ruled out) Must not have any habits or personality traits I don't agree with or find politically palatable. (95% ruled out) you get the idea. There's a reason you aren't with someone. Compatible people are hard to find. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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Op. At this point I just want someone rich whose company I enjoy. Married for love this time and he's been cheating on me the entire 7 years of our marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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Oh, if you're looking for rich, then take those odds from "Very good" to "Not very good" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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You need to be trolling the social security set. Well, the rich ones anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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np: I would say "slim to none" when the "rich" qualifier is added in. You're old cake, OP. You need to lower your standards in a major way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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Hahahaha. "I just want someone RICH." And what exactly do you bring to the table? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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Op. Yes, I don't care if he's 80. I've been rich and I've been poor and I would take rich every time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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you sound lovely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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Op. You sound jealous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:03 PM Flag
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Of a woman who can't keep her husband at home? Mmmk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:40 PM Flag
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+1 Your looks are fading. What do you offer that would make it worth sharing a fortune with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Op. I get cat calls nearly every day on the street and I have my own fortune. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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Your chances seem pretty good, then. Use that fortune on the best attorneys you can afford and take cheating DH to the cleaners! PS. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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Well, now we know you're lying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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Your own fortune? Who uses that word? And if you had your own "fortune" you would not search for a rich man with no other qualities. Trolltastic! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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Op. After a divorce I would get about 5 million plus child support and alimony. Not enough to live it up. There is a real misconception that all rich men want a 21 yo. Some are intelligent enough to know that they look ridiculous with someone who is not age appropriate. Look at Leonard Lauder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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Op. The pp said fortune. Read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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If you have your own fortune, you should definitely relax the income requirement, and you'll probably have a better chance of finding someone who really makes you happy that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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So you're still married, and you want a divorce, but you're not going to do it unless you are sure you'll get another husband right away? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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:( That sucks, OP. My condolences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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Meh. She sounds pretty cheatable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:40 PM Flag
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:( that sucks. Do you know for SURE that he was cheating on you? Or just suspect? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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Op. He admits it. We are in therapy, but I just doubt he can change. Once that trust is broken its hard to recover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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How superficial. What you look like means very little--except on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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Op. Thanks. I guess I'll stay with my current rich but cheating asshole DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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You do that. Enjoy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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Op. Why so mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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NP: I have no idea, everyone on this board has different buttons, looks like your question really pushed somebody's. Maybe they feel like you're entitled or they resent you for having standards or they made bad choices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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I don't think rich is a quality that one should be praised for seeking out. If OP had said, "I want a sensitive, kind and loving man who makes me laugh and would love my son to bits," I think OP would get a different reaction. When the only qualifier is that he be rich, well.... Put on the flame retardant suit, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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Op. I know people on UB have a very visceral reaction to the rich on UB and they have a lot of misconceptions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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Op. I don't believe it. When I was 37 I married a handsome, multimillionaire with two children. Everyone said don't bother, your too old, he won't want more kids, etc. that wasn't true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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And how did that work out for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:41 PM Flag
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Because you're superficial and materialistic with not much to offer. Who wants a 5 year old when they're in their 60s or 70s (your target market)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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Give her a break, she's reeling from a huge shock. She loved her DH and he cheated on her for years. The materialism is probably a pose to protect her broken heart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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She's already plotting out dh #2 pretty coldly and logically. I don't get a "reeling" vibe here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:41 PM Flag
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Op. How do you know what I have to offer? You don't know me. How sad you have that view of 40+ women. You must have a terrible view of yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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You're a golddigger troll, OP. Plain and simple. It's obvious from your reponses. If you're for real (I really hope you aren't), go out there and bag your rich man. Prove us wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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Op I'm married now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:02 PM Flag
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Very unhappily, so you say. Looking for the life raft before you abandon ship. Good luck with that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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Oh please. Men are much simpler than that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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"what you look like means very little" - are you kidding me with this?!? what planet do you live on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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Honestly, why do you want to get remarried? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Honestly, why do you want to get remarried? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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DH. High. Lots of nice divorced guys out there 45+ who don't want 30 y/os (well, not to date seriously, anyway) as they don't want more DC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Lots of nice divorced rich guys out there who want a 45 yo with a 5 yo child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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Nope. I didn't see that the bitch only wants rich. Moment they get a sniff of that guys turn away. Especially rich ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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Op I'm sorry your life must be awful to respond like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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OP didn't want nice. Just rich. Rinse and repeat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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Anything is possible in Trollandia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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+1000. This is so obviously a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] I know fertility really drops off after 40, but is it very common to not be able to conceive if you have already had a few successful pregnancies? We are trying for #3 and had the last one a year and a half ago. Not having any luck this time even though first two were conceived within one or two tries. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Are you drinking coffee [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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yes, why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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Switch to green tea or stop caffeine completely. http://www.whattoexpect.com/preconception/conception-myths.aspx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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First time bang at 35 and 38. Nothing at 41. Night and day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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So did you give up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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Gave up, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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how long did you try? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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Not very long active, say five months. But did not use protection again ever and nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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True. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Average age of last pregnancy (meaning birth at 42) is 41 in societies that don't practice birth control. Some will have their last at 38, some will have their last at 45. The odds are that you will have one more kid. ON AVERAGE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Use IUI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 09:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Yay! 148 - carry on. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Aw, congrats. Enjoy your holiday and BE THANKFUL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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Congrats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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Thanks you guys are sweet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Or. I hope your dc makes it. Dc's score 150 3 years ago went to round 2 but was not one of 'the chosen ones' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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I know. Such a low chance anyway. I am just happy he did well and also happy we didn't prep so I can get an accurate read on where he is at now. Where did your DC end up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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I thought this was weight loss mom posting today's weight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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OP - sadly I wish this was my weight :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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Well if you decide to go for weight loss on UB, we'll all be here to support you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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np. I thought the same! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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wow. i thought she lost some weight... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:02 PM Flag
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OP - I don't know who you are referring to but i would need to lose more than 20lbs to get to 148 :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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Yo girl, you need to eat some steak! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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It's her kids' test score! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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^kid's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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Let's just hope cutoff isn't 149 like a couple years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you be annoyed if your (extremely generous and wonderful) mother gave your dc as many or more presents for their 8th b'day as you did? We are pretty frugal, gave my son 2 presents for his b'day - my mom gave him probably 4. She knows this stuff annoys me but she is so kind and just likes to give, give, give. Is there any way to rein in this woman or do I just go w/ it? 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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That's what grandparents do. Relax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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Why does it annoy you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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op - We purposefully don't want him to have lots of "stuff". We have the money to get him more but, don't want to. So, when my mother goes against what we try to instill, it bothers me. make sense? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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I understand, but I think a good approach would be to redirect to things that aren't stuff. For example, maybe ask for tickets, memberships, things like that. Both parties win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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Yes. This would bother me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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WHAT>?>?????? Bitch you crazy! I love anyone who gives my child gifts, especially multiple gofts...I give only one, of his choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:52 PM Flag
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op - I like the "bitch you crazy" part....going to use that more often. guess I need to chill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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Yep. Go eat your ice-cream. Glad I could help :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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yeah, don't go around using this on strangers. most people don't like to be called names. more proof that you indeed are crazy. jesus christ, smh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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op - omg, you seriously think I would use that on randoms? thanks for the tip bozo. you crack me up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:05 PM Flag
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oh lord, you have already started calling random people names. get a grip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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I do not love people who give my child multiple things I have to find room for around the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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My parents always give very generous gifts. I don't mind that it is more than me but I always feel like it is slightly over the top. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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Oh god. You should see the quilt my mom just bought for DD and expects me to put on her bed now. It looks like it was hand-sewn by blind Vietnamese orphans and turns out it was except for the "blind" part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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LOL. This is my MIL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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"probably 4"? You are upset enough to write this and to keep score and feel threatened, but you don't actually know what gifts your mother gave your child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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op - she literally kept pulling them out and, there were other family members over so, I sort of lost track of whats she gave vs. my sister, etc. I don't feel threatened btw. We try to make some things important (school, reading, etc.) and others not (a ton of presents) so, when she gives a lot, it bothers me. Get it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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np So you have no idea if she gave 2 or 3 or 4 presents? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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op - at least 3, possibly 4/5. she's like that, her purse and bags are endless. there was a lot of commotion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:06 PM Flag
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You are a drama queen, creating problems where none exist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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Sorry, but now you sound even more threatened. You want complete control over your son's entire value system, and your mother gave him a few birthday gifts, so now you're freaking out because you think your son will value gifts over school and reading. You sound very naïve and very insecure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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If you think a few presents are enough to undermine the values you have tried to impart into your son, how strong are your values? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Uh-oh, this is me. My relatives describe me as "outrageously generous" but it does annoy some. Just be clear about your feelings on it. My SIL feels like I'm trying to compete with her (it isn't that, I just find cool stuff for people and I can afford to buy it, so I do and it's fun.) When SIL took me aside and told me she felt bad that I gave more than she did, I cut back. No hard feelings. People are allowed to have different feelings about gift-giving and I try to respect their feelings. It's a little bit of a bummer when I see something awesome for my niece and don't buy it out of respect for SIL, but I don't want to lose her respect, so I hold back. No biggie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:57 PM Flag
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That's ridiculous. Kids know prices and really count and compare what they get from others versus their parents?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:01 PM Flag
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It's not the kids, it's the parents who are sensitive about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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What gifts are we talking about here? I had soemthing similar with my brother and SIl giving little $10 type gifts (an dthey are wealthy, lol) and me getting their kids like $50 gifts. No one said anything, but I felt a little like a chump because I am not particularly close to my niece and nephew, but think it takes way more effort to find a $10 gift than a 450. lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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What kind of presents? Like a computer, bicycle, iPad, and iPhone? or four items for him/her to open? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:09 PM Flag
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It would annoy me if I had asked her not to do this. If you've not asked her about it, you just need to make it clear now. If she persists, explain that you'll be donating all but x number of presents to charity, and follow through on that. That's what we do with excess gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:14 PM Flag
[ - ] 2nd grader received 1's on the behavior part in report card. WWYD? Should I be worried? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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I'm talking about 8 1's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:48 PM Flag
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4's in writing and science [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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there you go! this is what you should be looking at. Probably too bright and bored as hell because the teacher has to also teach the kids who don't get it after 15 repetitions. When young kids are bored they act out. Sucks, I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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call or e-mail teacher immediately; you need to have a sit-down with her and find out what's going on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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She just said he is disrupts the class but def not hyperactive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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He disrupts^^^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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What is going on in the class when these disruptions happen? What directly precedes it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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^And what specifically is he doing that she calls disrupting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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Not really. They are who they are and it's really subjective. Let's face it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Thinking about therapy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:52 PM Flag
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Therapy is a lie. We are who we are. We change if we suffer through I'll consequences. That is it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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teacher is trying to send a message - contact her and see how you can help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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Yeah and...My son has 1's and 2's in behavior and 3's and 4's in everything else. I'm cool with that. Now in 4th grade, no issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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Thank you, really appreciate your honesty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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Boys are like this. Fact of life. Most boys, that is. The normal ones. Not the little zombie soldiers that most moms on here bring up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:56 PM Flag
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No, they're not. Boys that habitually disrupt class are assholes. Discipline the little fucker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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Yeah ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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I think it has to be addressed. The kid is obviously bright but needs to be straightened out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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It's the bright ones that often get bored and act out, contact the teacher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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The bright ones need to stay in line or find a new school that matches their incredible intelligence. They are hindering the learning of the less fortunate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:59 PM Flag
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snort [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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no, but it merits a discussion with the teacher to get ideas on strategies to help him improve his behavior. You can't discipline at home for what he does at school, but you can reinforce and practice at home strategies/rules that are in place at school. Try to work with the school. If the teacher doesn't have suggestions, pray for a better teacher next year. Have an older child with similar background who has slowly grown out of the problem. Most likely the root of problem is a very bright and energetic kid who doesn't have stimulus to calm him down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the Beacon Hill Club in Summit, NJ??? My friends from there keep telling me how most moms become members. 48 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:46 PM Flag
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how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:45 PM Flag
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Oops, didn't edit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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kind of like the Bklyn Heights Casino. expensive but a good place for sporty types. If I had to guess, I'd guess that the Bklyn Hts Casino is more welcoming and friendly. The women I know in NJ who belong to these clubs are a pain in the neck about how exclusive their clubs are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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Do you live there? My one friend didnt join but says that the moms who do all look the same and are pretty wealthy. Most are catty. Just curious because we're looking for a house but do not want this type of crowd. I'm surprised my friend lives there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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I don't want to out myself, but cattiness is what I've experienced. Not my cup of tea. I'm not a member of the Heights Casino, but I wish I lived close enough to join and use it consistently. I like the people who are members there a lot more. Just my two cents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:03 PM Flag
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You won't out yourself! What are the moms/women like?? This is really helpful because I need to find a town for our family. Thank u! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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Why is it so exclusive? If you live in town, can't you join? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Exclusive because it's expensive. You know, today's metric is solely $$$ not heritage so much anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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How much does a yearly membership cost?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:07 PM Flag
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It's a really nice place, DS plays hockey there sometimes and it is miles nicer than the dumps in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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Is it snobby? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:04 PM Flag
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The kids don't experience catty/snobby comments, as far as I know. It's the parents who annoy me. But it might be worth it if you have sporty kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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What do they do that's annoying? Examples? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:10 PM Flag
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It's hard to describe without the body language/look etc. Sometimes they're just being dismissive of you. You ask a legitimate question about what's expected of you as a new member, and a woman comes back with a sniff and says "You're overthinking this" and turns away. Actually, for me, it turned out to be a fun moment because another new member who was with me deliberately started a conversation with me about my (very tony) parents, and dismissive lady overheard and became a little more friendly. I've avoided her ever since. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:18 PM Flag
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Sorry, what's very tony mean? But thank you for the detailed response! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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^ you have to do a lot of things to become a member? Like volunteer work or something? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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tony means high class, well-groomed, exclusive - different things in different contexts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Oh ok. Thx. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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The parents don't seem to be any different than other UMC parents in the tri-state area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:17 PM Flag
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What's the stereotype?? Sorry, Im scared to move out of nyc and I know nothing about the suburbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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Are you American and how old are you? You sound young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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I did not feel that way, people were very nice. And the food is very good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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How much is a yearly membership? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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Agree about the food. Maybe I just had a bad moment early on and it colored my experience. Maybe there was something about me that the dismissive lady was annoyed by. Who knows? I'm glad that others are enjoying it. As I said, it's just my two cents. People can have different experiences and it's OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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We are not members but if we moved out of the city we would live in Summit and join. (We know people who would get us in.) DC is sporty so this would be a good place for us. From whom I've met the members are nice but we are in that crowd (and Summit is the snobbiest town in that area so it's not surprising people would say this). It's not cheap. We have never asked but it's sort of if you have to ask it's not the place for you type place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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Wait, so what is "that" crowd? How much is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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These clubs don't advertise how much it costs to join. "If you have to ask..." you probably can't afford it. Also, the board will raise dues now and then, and have special assessments for a new roof, equipment, etc. So it just goes up (never down) over time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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Op: my DH makes 2 million a year. I make $100K. How expensive can it be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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^ I'm more concerned about the community. I'm curious about the cost though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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you're in with that income [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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OR: I don't think it's that expensive for you if you make that income. It's less than a country club and those are ~$100k out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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np,so its the same cost as private school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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OR: Again, I have not asked. I imagine probably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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"That crowd" in Summit is (1) first and foremost high income. Then for BHC, (2) into playing a sport really well, not just goofing around out there on the field/court. Being competitive is good. Then, (3) has good social skills and is willing to be a host in their homes. For a SAHM, all of the above can be (and is) a full-time job if she plays tennis seriously as well as driving her children to sports events of their own. That would describe the quintessential BHC mom. But you can be a working mom and afford to hire a nanny to do the driving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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OMG. And this is what "fun" is to people? Wow. Ok. So being the more creative, trendy WOHM type wouldn't be good? Ugh, is there a lowkey part of Summit? Are all moms like this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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Yep, that's what fun to some people. Creative types might feel a little out of place but that shouldn't keep you from applying, IMO. If you can afford to swallow the fee just to join, you could try it for a year and resign if you don't like it. But again, it's a sports club more than a dining club so if you're into sports, you might love it even if you don't fit the stereotype. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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OR from above: I know WOHMs who are members. I find that WOHMs don't get caught up in the scene of it because they have other things going on in their lives and are only there when they are not working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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agree with this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:00 PM Flag
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What is the Beacon hill club? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Being really good at a sport, AND being a good sport about it, is more prestigious at these clubs than is income, AFTER you're already in. Being a good sport and being a good partner in tennis, for example, is very important. Club tournaments are huge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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Thx. Appreciate it. I just can't believe this is what it's about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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What about it is hard to believe? (not being catty, just curious) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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I get that people like sports but it seems like it could get socially difficult fast, in a "mean girl highschook" way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:01 PM Flag
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Good sportsmanship is key. If you're not a good sport about being good at a sport, you will be shunned. You have to be a good club member, friendly, competitive but not boastful, etc. It's an art that I admire, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:07 PM Flag
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WASPs (and Jewish & other people who are honorary WASPs) learn this early in life. That's what their parents want them to learn at the club tournaments. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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I remember my parents saying "if you can play tennis, you'll always have friends." Well, I played tennis and I had tennis partners but my friends came from different places. IMO, if your only friends are your tennis partners, your life is a little restricted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:05 PM Flag
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Jeez, I didn't know tennis was such an important sport. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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In some circles, it's key. (And the word "key" is key.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 08:24 PM Flag
[ - ] If I make cranberry sauce Sunday do I need to freeze it or will it be good until Thursday? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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just make it wednesday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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I have long work day weds so was trying to figure out what I can do this weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:50 PM Flag
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cranberry sauce doesnt take long at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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But it does take some time and would be a good thing to make ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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The sauce takes like 2 minutes. cranberries, sugar and maybe a little oj. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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Still two less minutes she has to spend on Thanksgiving. One less dish to think about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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It will be fine. Cranberry sauce is like the everyready battery. As long as the berries are fresh, it will be good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:55 PM Flag
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Fine. Chowhound is a great source for food related questions, very knowledgeable cooks there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:59 PM Flag
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It will be fine. I make cranberry chutney that has zillions of ingredients--apples, candied ginger, dried apricots, orange juice, pecans, etc. I make a batch and freeze it in small jars. When I defrost it, it sits in the freezer for a week or two before it gets used up. Never a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:03 PM Flag
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It will be even better if it has a chance to sit, but put it in the fridge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:07 PM Flag
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Perfect. Just make it on stove - cranberries, OJ, orange rind, sugar, water, boil 10 mins. Skim off foam. Add sliced almonds. Yes, make on Sunday, it will be perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 10:12 PM Flag
[ - ] The new hipster girl names: Ingrid, Sigrid, Imogen and Maude. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:44 PM Flag
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Love Imogen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:45 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Hydrogen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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It is actually pronounced ImoGENE. You could use Gene as a nickname. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:02 PM Flag
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no, not always. I know two imo-JENs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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My neighbor's dd is Imo-JEN. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:15 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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I like all these names, a nice change up from the Emma/Olivia/Ruby/Sophia crowd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:47 PM Flag
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OMG. This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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+Penelope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:52 PM Flag
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They're certainly a change, but I don't like them very much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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Let's not forget Sloane [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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This is dc's teacher name [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:53 PM Flag
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Sloane is over-used at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:54 PM Flag
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Isn't it though? I have seen 5 this year. You have to be really beautiful to pull it off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:58 PM Flag
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Like Sloane Peterson? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:08 PM Flag
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And then there's that old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizin', Right on Maude! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:49 PM Flag
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Judd Apatow and his shiksa wife already took Maude for their kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:51 PM Flag
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IMO Imogen sounds like a pharmaceutical drug. The side effects of Imogen can be..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 06:52 PM Flag
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That old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizing, Right on Maude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:00 PM Flag
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I know a baby Vawn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:01 PM Flag
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I love Maude. You can also spell it as Maud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.21.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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