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[ - ] What did your parents do for a living? What do you do for a living? Do you feel like you've moved up or down or sideways by comparison? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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My dad retired from the Army after 20 years and started a successful business. My mom was a school teacher.We probably are equal in comparison. I’m an editor and DH a business exec. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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Father Phd in physics, worked at Bell Labs, Mother accepted into med school, turned it down to get married. SAH till he died, then stock broker. I did not have enough confidence in myself to go for engineering, when to Wharton, make nice money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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Father lawyer, Mother SAHM (same with DH actually). I'm a software developer and DH is a physicist. Way down for both of us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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Dad was a partner in a small law firm of about five lawyers. Mom SAH. Me: Communications executive. Definitely do not live as well as I did growing up because expenses today are much, much greater. Healthcare, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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just noticed same parents as person above me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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My dad was a college marching band director. My mom was a HS music teacher. DH and I are lawyers. We have a much larger HHI but I kind of miss the creativity that's born from not having a whole lot of disposable income. And I kind of miss those band competitions. As a kid they thrilled me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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I love marching bands! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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I have a lot of great memories. They were invited to march in the Macy's Parade one year and that was when I fell in love with New York and wanted to live here someday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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I remember all the twirlers and the kick line and color guard wearing panty hose on their arms (you cut out the crotch, put your head through it, and wear the panty hose as a kind of shrug). It was cold! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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I am first gen American and we have no extended family in America. We spent many Thanksgivings at a Marriott in New Jersey which always housed at least one, large high school marching band post the parade. I’d wind up swimming w these kids who, at the time, seemed so grown up to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:24 AM Flag
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They were all my babysitters! They would show up with their stack of albums like the Eagles Greatest Hits, Fleetwood Mac Rumors, ELO Discovery, Supertramp Breakfast in America, Donna Summer On the Radio, Bee Gees. That's how I was exposed to all that music. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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My dad listened to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and my mom listened to classical music. They didn't like rock music. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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Whipped Cream! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Yes. In that absence, my elderly dad (80 now) loves Manheim Steamroller [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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I love this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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I lived across the street from the local HS when i was a kid. Every Friday fall morning before school, the band played marched up and down our street to drum up enthusiasm for that night’s football game. Ooohhhhh, how we loved this spectacle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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I went to the Rose Parade this year. The bands were thunderous and fantastic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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neat. Your parents sound very interesting! Music is so wonderful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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My father was an urban planner and my Mother a SAHM who took part time jobs here and there. Prior to kids I worked in IT. I don’t feel as though socially I’m much different, but I definitely live a more monetarily privileged life now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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Dad managed a chain of local retail stores and after they folded became a furniture salesman and then went back to college and became an IT specialist. My parent divorced, dad was laid off and is now a school bus driver. Mom was a sah until she went back to school and worked for the Chamber of Commerce and then the federal government. I sah and have for 11 years, DH is in finance. We live a completely different life, "up" by all measures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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How did you and DH meet? Did he grow up with a similar background? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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We met in college. Dh's parents were lawyers and everyone is his family has attended an Ivy for several generations. Polar opposite backgrounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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My parents owned stores in our home country and were factory workers here. I am in finance, dh owns medium sized firm he started. We are much, much better off than my parents were. His parents were scientists, again we are much better off. I too miss the creativity needed to make things happen when you can't throw money at a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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Mom - SAHM, Dad - investment banker. I’d say I’ve moved down but we’ve made different career choices to make time for family and have more flexibility. We’re definitely comfortable but we’ll never be able to buy a second home on Martha’s Vineyard or put two kids through private school (without giving up a lot). It’s okay. I’m happy with what we have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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Professor, professor. Sideways. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Mom was a nurse, dad was a realtor. Eh...we have better jobs but they had more relaxed lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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I grew up with educated parents who had corporate jobs in a poor, developing country. I had very little growing up, and yes, I definitely moved up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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Parents were doctors, I’m a doctor. My quality of life is significantly worse than theirs. Medicine is a dying field (pun intended). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 04:11 AM Flag
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Parents were surgeons. Dh’s parents had PHDs and worked for the govt. We both work in finance. Financially better off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:23 PM Flag
[ - ] How can I find out if someone is actually divorced? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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Ask his wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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No, I'm just snooping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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LMAO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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hard to tell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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In Westchester county, the court clerk has online files. You cant see all details, but I think you can see if finalized [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Many files are sealed, but the basic filings are there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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You could go on the UCS Website in NYC, which will tell you if a divorce action was commenced. You can't actually see the file, however, unless you're one of the parties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone has any insights on how the admissions committee process works for NY private schools? Do they review all the applications or do they eliminate some applications (based on scores etc.) before the files go to the committee? This whole process is such a black box and I am curious. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.14.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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Where are you applying? Need to know specifics to answer the question [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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It varies from school to school. The top schools weed out the rejects based on the playdate/interview and highlight who they think the superstars are, then cross check against the school report. There are always seats set aside for the very wealthy, famous and connected, but there is less of that at the better, more academic schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:53 AM Flag
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The more academic schools are filled with the wealthy, famous, and well connected as well (at least half the class, more like 2/3). They just weed out the weaker students in lower/middle school and bring in less wealthy outstanding students in middle/upper school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 09:15 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 08:01 PM Flag
[ - ] To the person who posted last night about presenting case studies: if you are here, did you present? How did it go? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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Link to original post please? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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That's me. I'm on flight now to where I'll be presenting. Doing other catch-up work but am still practicing and trying to sound confident and calm. Thanks for checking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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I think you'll do well, you obviously care which is half the battle. Just remember that you are only trying to convey information. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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Thanks for your vote of confidence but I am awful at presenting or clearly articulating my thoughts :/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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Stop telling yourself that. Negative self-talk is harmful. Tell yourself you will do your best and trust that all will work out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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Thanks for your vote of confidence but I am awful at presenting or clearly articulating my thoughts :/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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try the imagining everyone in the audience is naked trick, or (what helps me) pick one or two people in the crowd and talk to them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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I didn't see your original post, so I didn't get to read the question. If it's fear of presenting, try looking at your audience's forehead instead of his eyes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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I like this. Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Will somebody know if I “ unfriend”” them? Like, will they get an alert? It’s a relative who posts waaaaay too much political stuff, has hundreds of friends, I know I won’t be missed. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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No, they won't know unless they are looking at their friends list and notice that you are gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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They will know because you'll show up Sugg as people they may know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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No, when you unfriend Facebook will not suggest. They are getting better at it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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No they won't know. But they might notice that you never like their posts anymore, if you ever did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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They won’t know until they go to your page some day and see you aren’t friends. Just unfollow. You’ll forget all about that person. Or, leave FB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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They'll know if they try to find you later for some reason or another and happen to notice you're no longer their "friend" If you don't see that ever happening, then no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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Suggest you just unfollow them, without unfriending them. They won't know you unfollowed them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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That's what I do -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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i think you can mute on facebook...so you are friends but u dont see their posts. am i wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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Someone unfriended me and I didn't notice for about 2 years. One day I happened to think, "Gee, I haven't seen any posts from Jane in a really really long time." That's how I discovered it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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Thanks ladies! I only have about 30 friends, I never post, but sometimes I look. This person occupies about 90% of my feed, LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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You can hide all posts from him. Click on right upper end of post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Did it! Yay! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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Maybe it's my mom. She posts everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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Just unfollow or mute them then no risk of drama. I unfriended someone from high school and she actually contacted me to ask why!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here ever attend Adult Children of Alcoholics, or Al-Anon? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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I went to my first al anon meeting a couple weeks ago. Was going to go last week but got lazy. Will prob go this week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Is this like AA or more like a PTSD support group? Are the children also alcoholics? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:36 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a lot of weight to lose. 30 pounds in 3 months is doable, when there's a lot to lose, don't you think? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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That sounds unlikely. It usually takes me about 4-5 months to lose 30 pounds. Sadly, I've had to do it more than once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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I've been trying to lose the same 10 lbs over and over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Did anyone see Million Dollar Listing where Rose McGown had to sell her house and all of her belongings in an estate sale to pay off the legal bills for the Harvey drama. I feel bad for her. She gained no respect and lost a great deal of her net worth all for this awful guy. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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Why does she have so many legal bills? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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Actually I think most women respect her a lot more. I know I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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Huh? She’s a rock star. Started #metoo as we know it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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It's sad. I do feel bad on hearing this, but I do respect her for speaking up and bringing that bastard down. I hope someone in the industry give her a chance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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What happened to her show? I looked for it after the first episode. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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I think she is clearly mentally ill and her problems began well before that bastard Weinstein [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm confused about the poster who is 20K behind in rent. We rent a 5500 2 bedroom and practically had to sell our soul for the approvals. We had to have guaranteed income, show all bank statements and prove that we had at least a year in savings plus several letters of employment from both of us. I dont know how she got approved. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Perhaps something changed in their lives since they signed their lease? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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NP: no savings, no 401 and you think it’s a recent change in situation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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I don't know, I didn't read it that carefully. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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Maybe, but I can’t imagine what they were thinking cutting it that close with no backup savings. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night with that hanging over my head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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Shit happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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I hate to call fake, but this one seems implausible. Also few details and dodgy answers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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Yeah. I don't doubt for a nanosecond that this is not a plausible situation and very real for many folks out there, but what was the point in posting it if the person was not going to answer some of the questions? Or at least thank people for their advice. Some of the legal advice was great and if I was in that situation would have been super helpful. On the other hand, if true she is probably very stressed out and doesn't have the time to reply right away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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I thought for the first time rather than judging people were helpful. We were in a dark financial situation seven years ago it was scary [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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Maybe it was $3000 when they moved in, and they've been there a few years and rent went up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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We rent a 3600 3 bedroom. We just had to show DH's offer letter and pass the background check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Sounds a bit excessive. We just had to show our tax returns and bank statements, also recent paystubs. Plus they do the background and credit checks. Landlords understand that no job is 100% guaranteed even the most stable sounding job. We weren't required to submit any employer letters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] I've been dating a man I really like for the last 3 months. He just got a job offer that will increase his income substantially and start a new career chapter for him. I'm thrilled for him, very happy he's experiencing success. I feel a tiny bit sad, though, because I know it will mean all of his time will be dedicated to the new job, and because we are relatively new, I don't know that the relationship will survive the change. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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live in the moment. your neediness will drive him away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:47 PM Flag
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no neediness, just a recognition of the imminent changes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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Try to develop your own interests and lock him down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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I have plenty of my own interests. Gosh, I express an emotion and everyone assumes the worst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:53 PM Flag
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If you handle this well, and not selfishly or needy, it will be ok. Put yourself in his shoes. If you were starting a new position, you would need time, patience and support from your loved one. For now, dont be wishy washy with him. Men love confidence. Its a turn on. He also doesnt want to worry about how you are feeling during this exciting and maybe nervous time for him. Tell him you are taking him to dinner to celebrate this weekend, and make it special and fun. Speak with confidence - NOT "oh boo hoo, what will happen now" . The week before he starts, tell him that you want to give him some space, not to worry about you and to call when he can to get together, that you understand how busy he will be , but that you like him and you understand." Not desperate, just laid back and kind. Time will tell, but please dont be wishy washy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Yes, I know. This is exactly what I'm thinking. I have no intention of making this about me at all (just sharing my feelings anonymously here). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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I'm the poster below who said to let it unfold. This woman said it even better. Great advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:57 PM Flag
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Ditto! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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agree. i wouldnt do the congrats dinner though. id hang back a lot, and let him come to you. hes under pressure now, so be cool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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NP really? I don't know how old they are but that seems kind of nice if someone took me out to celebrate (drinks, whatever, something!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Let things unfold a bit and if you feel like it's becoming an issue, speak up! But maybe he really likes you, too, and wants to invest in your relationship and this will bring you closer when he sees how supportive and encouraging you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Maybe you could get OTM or Psychic Mom to predict how this will turn out? Otherwise, you'll just have to let things unfold, and see what happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Good idea, thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Can someone explain FHA and FSA ? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:40 PM Flag
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FSA is putting away pre tax dollars to use later for medical care or depended care ( depending upon what you signed up ) so it’s tax saving in nut shell but if you don’t end up using that money it will be lost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Today I watched on the daycare cameras a teacher give love to another girl and completely ignore my dd who was trying to get her attention :( 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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Maybe tomorrow will be the other way around? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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That’s why I always tipped well at holidays and teacher appreciation day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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And unlike poster below/ we loved our day care teacher [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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thats why I never sent my kids to daycare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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Looool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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My kid's school bus got into an accident and my neighbor posted on FB that this is why she homeschools. Your logic reminds me of hers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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there are other options. a nanny perhaps. daycares are known to neglect kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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No they are not. Not the good ones. Like any business, there are those that are run better than others. The in-home day cares are the ones where there's a lot less regulation and oversight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I’m poster above. In home day cares have oversight. It’s nannies who aren’t overseen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:58 PM Flag
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Yes, there are degrees of oversight. With Nannies you really are flying on trust alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Such BS. Nannies are known to neglect kids and they have zero oversight. Your post makes no sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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How about we all parent our own kids and stop worrying about daycares or nannies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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+1. Yes, I know I am lucky I can afford to, but it's not like I did not give up a career and my earning potential. I just could never leave my kids to strangers to raise. Most nannies I observe daily are pretty bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 05:47 AM Flag
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Ugh. Please don’t do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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This is how I felt watching the cam at doggie daycare :-( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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Sorry to hear that. Many moms I see are neglecting their DCs but they feel better about themselves when they can tattle on nannies or daycare providers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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That is real life! Sometimes your dd will get attention, sometimes she won't. She needs to learn to deal, don't coddle her so that she falls on her face at 15. Tough love, baby! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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F her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Repost for weekday crowd and I apologize for length: Need Advice: was elected as president of a sports club last July. The founder of the club and director of coaching needed a board in order to gain access to a top league (to show it wasn’t just a one man show; there will be checks and balances). I am basically acting as administrator handling all contact with parents, billing, social media, etc. The founder does none of the day to day. I honestly don’t mind about that part. I enjoy the work and enjoy the sport. The issue is there are a couple other board members he butts heads with and they are simply trying to help him out. One of them did all of the registrations for the new league and the founder got upset and went off on him after the board member asked him three times over email to pay the $1k fee. We are not running like a true board. We are fronting money to cover things and we have no access to the bank accounts or budget. Anyway, his email was pretty uncalled for - he called the board member passive aggressive and said “don’t you have a credit card.” He fears losing control. He also lashed out at another board member that defended the one asking for payment saying things like “I think your smart enough to know..but maybe not”. Other issues: asks for practice to be set up last minute, I do it and then he doesn’t show after everyone goes to trouble rearranging schedules. (He knew another team from the club would be there so I’m guessing just assumed they could just join them, therefore not completely leaving them stranded), he is slow to reimburse me, sees the board as free labor and also the enemy, is very erratic - will go quiet not reply for days, then flurry of activity. Ok to cut this as short as possible, I’m so tired of dealing with him but I’m also not comfortable cutting out on my board term and letting down families. If I were to resign I would also feel the need to pull my child out since I worry about how he would react. I worry about the team my child is on because i keep it running and if we left it feels like I’m deserting everyone. And also I would have guilt:issue about leaving before the end of spring (the winter session just started, then spring season). Should I resign now and tell him and pull my child now? Or should I ride it out and do the bare minimum until the end of spring? He is not stupid and would probably see the writing on the wall so I worry how awkward the rest of the year will be, but I can probably deal. He trusts me a lot and has not blown up at me yet, so I’m guessing he will see this as a big betrayal. Sorry this is so long. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:27 PM Flag
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I can't read a post this long. sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:31 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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OP: I hear you! Ok the tl;dr version. I’m on a sports club board. The club founder is still in charge of the budget and all accounts. He has horrible communication, has threatened another board member, sets up practice and doesn’t show, expects board to front money, etc. should o resign as preisident now and pull my kid. Or should I stick it out until the end of spring? I don’t like to quit something in the middle and worry how this will affect my child’s team. Could potentially make an excuse of being to busy and resign, but keep my kid on the team. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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Resign. Say parent ill, whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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And keep my kid on the team? Or resign and pull him out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:52 PM Flag
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Stop fronting money, resign asap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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He sounds like an ass, but you committed to the role as president and you should finish out your term. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:53 PM Flag
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It’s likely that the whole board will resign before the end of the spring season so as not to be connected in any way to the club once it starts taking in money for the next season. So I don’t think I would see the entire term out (it ends in July) regardless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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What is s sports club? A health club? A club team? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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youth club team [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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As long as you aren't held accountable for any financial wrongdoings on his part (if there are any), just finish your term and tell them in advance due to unforseen circumstances you'll be stepping down. And realize this is your child's thing, not yours. Parents get too over involved with their kids activities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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We all only stepped up because the club had to have a board or it would have to fold due to league rules. Trust me I’d rather not be involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:00 AM Flag
[ - ] My DH had a colonoscopy and on the medical report that we received upon Check In at Mt Sinai, it said " history of depression" and obese. He was shocked ! He gained weight - is 235 on a 6 foot frame. But has never been called obese by any doctor. Also, once he went to his physical, and did say to the doctor that he gets depressed from time to time, at that time, was having a struggle in his career, it was an 8 week period in a 50 year old life. In addition , he never went to therapy and never took any meds. My question is this : soon we will be shopping for a new Life Insurance policy ...this is now "public" for insurers to see ? How to get it removed ...the doctor who wrote it does not identify himself, its just a vague and generalized report. DH is furious that this will now follow him during any health procedures in the future. Anything we can do ? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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Obesity is a simple calculation of BMI. Either you're obese or not, it isn't a value judgment. The depression thing is an example of the evils of electronic medical records, everything gets carried forward into your new record. EMR is helpful in some respects and a nightmare in others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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Your DH's BMI is 31.9, overweight is 29.9. He needs to get to 213 to be overweight instead of obese. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:28 PM Flag
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gotcha, thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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Good point. It’s doable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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this. They use charts not feelings. Life insurance will ding him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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ugh. Its so upsetting because he's completely not a depressed person. He even remembers the doctors conversation with him...he said do you ever feel depressed & DH said, ( because he thought he was friendly with this doctor) yeah once in a while, my job is killing me right now. thats all he said & it didnt go further. The doctor said, well let me know if you want to talk to someone and my DH kind of laughed. he never thought it was going into a chart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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I would be depressed if I was obese. get him to lose weight. that alone will make him feel better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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lol , hes not obese though. he's built like gerard butler, he's got a little tummy but he is so strong and tall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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Then he’s probably just “overweight”. BMI calculators don’t account for muscle mass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Not helpful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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Well, if he remembers who said this have his chart updated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:24 AM Flag
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He's furious! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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2 things: 1) does he remember the therapist he saw? I had an issue with life insurance for similar reasons, and was able to have my shrink write a letter and basically remove the impact in terms of rating / rates. if he can find the therapist, he can do this. Or find a new therapist who will evaluate him, explain the situation, and ask new therapist to write a letter. 2) My DH is similar - 6 feet and ~230. It cracks me that he is categorized as obese because, honestly, no one would ever look at him and think that - he just has huge shoulders and is a big guy. The BMI is what it is, but shouldn't be the end all and be all. If he has good heart health, cholesterol, etc., probably won't be an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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OR - by the way, get a good insurance agent who can help you with the process, if you anticipate issues. My brother has ~$22 M of life insurance for various reasons (5 kids, super high income, but he is only in his 30s, so felt that for family to maintain lifestyle, this is what would be required) - he sent me to his guy at Northwestern Mutual, who was already making a ton of money from our family, and helped me figure it all out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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thank you so much ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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thank you ! but he didnt see a therapist ...! this was his GP, saying do you ever feel depressed. DH didnt think he meant "literally" depressed. Just used a figure of speech !!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Then they can add a letter about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:24 AM Flag
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You can request that your response be added as an addendum to the record. State that he has never been diagnosed with depression and does not have any symptoms of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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He has the right to insert his objection into the medical record. Have him talk to the hospital medical records dept about this. Or speak to the Patient Advocate about getting this added to the record. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Wow! Sorry! This is why people don’t tell their doctors anything! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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If he has no history of antidepressants or therapy he’s fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:13 AM Flag
[ - ] Ugh. Here’s what just happened. I got a new cable box from spectrum. Blood sweat and tears to switch boxes. Got on phone with spectrum to activate the box. Audio doesn’t work. On phone for 45 minutes trying to figure out why not. Eventual answer: problem is with sound bar, can’t help you, sorry. Now I’m late picking up dc. Rushing out the door, forgot to put groceries away. Rush to put meat in fridge. Missed elevator. Dropped and cracked phone. Via won’t wait. Missed via, had to pay fee. Now: late for dc, cracked phone, have to switch the damned cable box back to the old one. WTH!!! I have NEVER had a cracked iPhone screen. Damn you spectrum! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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Their stupid idea to send me a new stupid box [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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Rainy Days & Mondays Always Get me Down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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we had a issue with our new spectrum box and audio for a bit the other day. Just unplug everything and reboot and unplug the sound bar - connect everything but the sound bar and see if the audio works. also spectrum support online community is usually more helpful than the phone tech. And the new boxes are much better than the old - much more storage space. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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Thanks! I’ll try that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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I'm sorry you're having a tough day. And not to be a pain, but can you tell me why you didn't give up on cable box when it was time to leave for pick up? And why did you call the car before you were actually out the door? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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wow, just wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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And yet you're posting here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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Please note that everything that went wrong was your fault, not Spectrum's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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Nope, not so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Planning a memorial service for my father (he's very ill, and no longer able to speak, no written plans, ex-wife no longer around). I'd like to arrange a small memorial for 20 -30 people on the UES but I'm drawing a blank as to where. I've looked into Frank E. Campbell but it's not at all the right place for us. Any ideas? I know this is supposed to be Urbanbaby, but Urban mothers have Urban sick parents too.... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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he's not dead yet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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yeah , weird to have a memorial for someone who's still alive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Not weird if it appears he will imminently die. Lots of people do their own arrangements in advance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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This. OP, I'm sorry you've gotten so many weirdly cruel replies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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creep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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Perhaps she is looking ahead to what needs to be done after he dies. Not creepy, stuff has to be planned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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Had the same problem. You should call John Krital Funeral 1st Ave and 69th. So sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Had the same problem. You should call John Krital Funeral 1st Ave and 69th. So sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Had the same problem. You should call John Krital Funeral 1st Ave and 69th. So sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I have never been to Disney. The post below has me a bit shocked, I had no idea people really spent that much money on it. Is it really worth all that $? Do kids really love it that much? Mine have never even asked to go (boys, never into Disney movies). How does the average american family ever afford to go there (even without the 6k for a private guide!) 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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we have been at least 6 times. why? its easy!!! go to parks maybe 4 or 5 hours as a thing to do, then hand at hotel. warm in FL. Disney is clean and kid friendly. so, just easy! My boys could not walk around museams for hours, and disney gives us an excuse for fresh air iin Feb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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we swim at hotel in pm, hang at pool and then early dinner. Have also done skiing - but its cold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:27 PM Flag
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and my boys actually prefer universal, and so do we. slightly more upscale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:28 PM Flag
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plus universal little less expensive. also less girly. Do you have ideas of other places for vacation we should consider. Dont want sit beach all day, but with 4 and 8 yr old - some things are not practicle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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We've been every 3 years or so. But I never spend that kind of money. I don't do park every day. I bought unexpired tix so I can stretch them out. It's not cheap but if you do it wisely, it's not more expensive than a regular national park trip. DC is no that into Disney but loved WDW. It's not the same as going to Universal or 6 Flags. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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We drove down in the 70s. It was fun at the time but don't know how much my parents spent. My mom made sandwiches in the hotel room and we took them to the park! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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Now have a 14 y/o DD and never went. She had never been a big fan of the Disney movies and not into the whole princess thing. We made the decision that for the same amount of money we could go to far more interesting and fun places. So we took DD to London and Paris when she was 6 instead. She still talks about the Beefeaters & the Ravens, the Crown Jewels, the massive dollhouse at Windsor and the Eiffel Tower. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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No, it is not worth it. At least to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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Lolz. My kids must have went over 150 times as we were FL residents and it was a quick get away. But no, no kid HAS to go. I never went as a kid. Some times I wonder what was so special about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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*and we stayed primarily off-site in a timeshare that we own. We brought our own food sometimes into the park as dc is allergic to most things anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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I went as a kid but my DS never wanted to go and now it's too late. He has been all over Europe and to Australia. however. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
[ - ] FACEBOOK question: I received an email from a frenemy reading "Jane X has requested that you friend her." Something along those lines. QUESTION: Can this be automatically generated by people FB thinks that I know or would Jane have to have specifically asked for me? Thanks. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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She specifically had to seek you out and send a friend request [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:28 PM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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np: She would have had to send the request, but you might have shown up as a suggestion friend (someone she might know). She is not necessarily tracking you down online... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:48 PM Flag
[ - ] OTM here. I'll answer a few questions :) 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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Have you ever used a guide at Disney? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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No, I have not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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What did you think of The Goldfinch? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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(sorry, odd posts tonight). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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I enjoyed reading The Goldfinch, but I thought the expansive prose was often self-indulgent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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Will son get into the school we want? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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The cards suggest that your son has worked very hard and demonstrated admirable maturity and responsibility. It looks like he will have all of the desired options available to him, and will make good use of the opportunities. Best of luck :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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Worried about an old case. How will that turn out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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It looks like you are anxious for a swift conclusion, and that the other party involved is ready to fight...aggression for its own sake. Don't let this intimidate you; it looks like you have knowledgeable, experienced council, and you also have right on your side. The cards suggest you will benefit materially from the outcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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Thanks. I know by heart I am right. I feel disheartened, angry ( conflicted ) and upset by people (whome I cared for) who have turned against me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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Will I have any business success this year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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Hi...I got a funny read on this...It looks like you are starting from a place of emotional abundance, which I usually read as great happiness, but then there is also an air of sorrow around you. Were you motivated by a loss recently to start embracing life? I also drew both the Page of Coins and the Sun, which indicates an eager and diligent new start in business and ultimate success. So yeah, I think you have a good year ahead ;) Best of luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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Well I am eager :-) I wouldn't say I was motivated by a loss, but I think I have a health dose of worry as all NYers do. I will say I have never been motivated by money until recently and that's what's driving to make this business change and ultimately do all kinds of things with the increase in income. I'm impatient but optimistic. Thanks OTM! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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You're welcome. Thanks for the response :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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Which month will I go back to work this year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Where will my next job be - here or overseas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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Will I make it to Day 30 of Whole 30? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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What will my love life be like in the coming 1-3 years? Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:52 PM Flag
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writing my first novel. will I get published? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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OTM, please explain why you predicted wrong things for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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What did I predict, and what happened? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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I have three goals for this year, relating to three areas of my life: (1) real estate; (2) job; (3) sex. Will I progress with any of them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 02:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Suicide. Who's thought about it seriously and why? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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I did. I even had a concrete plan. Why - boyfriend left me, and I fell into a major depression. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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I had someone very close to me do it. I feel people can do what they want, but if you have people that love you (esp kids) it's incredibly selfish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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I always hear the selfish thing and I suppose it's a convenient thing assigned by the living. Unless you've been there yourself, stop assigning morality to mental illness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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The person close to me was my ex DH. My DC's dad killed himself! Please don't tell me about the living "not being there" ourselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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OP here. Was the divorce related to suicide? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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Divorce was related to alcoholism and manic/depressive behavior. I was very supportive and would have done anything to help if he had tried to help himself. But once he started putting kids in danger I kicked him out. He never sought help and killed himself about 3 year later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:01 PM Flag
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Bipolar and alcohol are essentially the road to suicide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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WTF? Who are you dummies? I'm the PP: I'm sorry OR, that you've been through this. You're angry and it's understandable. But, people don't kill themselves out of selfishness. They want to end some pain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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I'm not saying they do it out of selfishness. They do it to end their pain. But they transfer that pain to the living. If your alone in the world - do what you want. But once you become a parent you have a responsibility to put their well being (and lack of pain) above your own. He didn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.15.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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THIS. Lost someone very close to suicide and it's hard for them to be here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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I’ve been there and I agree it’s selfish. You get tunnel vision. It’s all about you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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NP. Sometimes they believe nobody loves them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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It's not a matter of selfish or not selfish. That scale is irrelevant because it's an irrational act. That would be like saying having Type 1 diabetes is selfish because it inconveniences the whole family. People with mental illness who die by suicide BELIEVE that those around them will truly be BETTER OFF without them. That's the irrational part of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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Please. I can't talk about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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Suicide doesn't end your pain, it just transfer your pain to those who care about you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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+ 1000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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Me. I just have serious problems in my life that I wish I could wash away. I love my kids too much though. That's why I don't do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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Your kids love you too!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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