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[ - ] Am I too old to have a 3rd DC? Recently turned 41. Other two are 2 & 4 years old. I do feel a lot more tired lately. We could afford help though. Anyone BTDT and regret it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Why not just adopt if you still want another one in a few years? I'm 41 and that's my plan. I have 3 and still feel like I might want another, but I don't want to stretch myself too thin and also want a healthy baby. If I still feel the same in 3 years then we'll look at adoption. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:16 AM Flag
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Np: adopting a healthy baby can take years! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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I don't think 41 is too old for a baby, the big decision is whether you want to rock the boat with a third. I have 3 dcs and happy with that number so not saying don't do it - but I do think it's a tipping point for most people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:26 AM Flag
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no, you're not. at 41, I thought I was too old and gave up on having another child; I still regret that decision. looking back I think 41 was still okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Is it better to going to a middle-of-the-ranking parochial school with full scholarship (eg Xaiver) vs going to a TT private on FA (assuming FA is generous enough that it is affordable)? The other threads about "big fish in a small pond" vs "small fish in a big pond" makes me wonder which scenario is better. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 09.15.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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I am assuming that you are wondering which place maximizes the chance of your child getting into a top college, versus what his experience will be. Unless he is brilliant and distinguished in really significant ways, being #1 or #2 at Xavier will probably put him in a better position that being middle of the pack and unconnected at a TT, IMHO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:12 AM Flag
[ - ] How do recruiters really work? Do they only fill the jobs that no one else wants? Do companies still use them over LinkedIn/ Glassdoor? I’m trying to decide if I should contact a few or would I do better on my own? Any info is appreciated. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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I have never called them; they have always found me. I think that's how the "real" ones work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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Why would you think they only fill jobs no one wants? They fill jobs that companies deem worthy of investing good money into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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I don't have advice for you, but I will be watching this post. I'm coming off of 6 years staying at home, so a recruiter can't find me, yet I don't really know how to fin done, save doing a general google search. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Any idea how single sex schools are dealing with transgender students? I'm in NYC and applying this year, so interested if this has come up and if so, how did the school handle it. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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How old is your transgender child? Male to female, or female to male? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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I did not say I had a transgender child. Just wondering how schools are handling this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Wtf? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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Ask them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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What schools are on your list? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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All the usual suspects, including girls schools like Spence, Chapin, Brearley, Sacred Heart, Marymount. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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How old is your child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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probably the students would want to leave [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Link to article on autism in the comments below. I have no argument here, just sharing information. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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Is there a way to read if you don’t feel like paying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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You might google sperm donor fathers 12 autistic children and see if it comes up elsewhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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That was VEFY interesting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:55 AM Flag
[ - ] other than coney island, are there any amusement parks close to NYC, within an hours drive? i tried a google search but only Rye playland came up and that is closed for the season. TY 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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Aren’t they all closed for the season? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Great Adventure is just a little more than an hour I think [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Isn’t six flags close? also sesame place has some roller coasters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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OP: for teenagers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Adventureland in Farmingdale / Long Island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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rye playland [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:01 AM Flag
[ - ] When my dh and I go out to dinner, he will never approach the reservation desk, like ever. I have to do it each and every the time. I usually don't mind, but honestly I would like it if he sometimes stepped up. I think that it falls into "male job" on a date to do this and I would like it very much. Also, I am small and he is tall so it is much easier for him to get attention in a crowded environment. I have told him since before we were married (20+ years ago) that I wish he would step up sometimes and do this. So, okay, of course tonight it happened again, the restaurant was busy and he stood outside the door with his hands in his pockets. I walked in and got us a table but I'm still mad. Am I crazy? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Not for wanting what you want but for thinking it will be different the next time. It won’t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Yes you are crazy and no this is not a man job. However what I think you are wanting from him is a bit more chivalry. I think you can tell him that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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i don't understand. why don't you stand outside with your hands in your pockets, if that is what you want to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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I'm going to guess that this is part of a larger pattern of you feeling like he doesn't step up to "take charge" more often. I have a DH like this, too. It can be annoying, but there are also benefits. Either way, I knew this when I married him and it's not going to change. I don't make blanket requests like "I want you to go to the reservation desk at restaurants," but I might say on a case-by-case basis, "Hey, it looks crowded. I'll try to get seats at the bar, while you go put our name on the waiting list," or "Why don't you call your mom to work out a plan for Sunday" or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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+1. All of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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+1. I have the same DH and I totally get what you're saying - but i have to be mindful of who i married, and, yes, there are benefits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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np: Yes. The passive behavior can be annoying but tbh having a bossy, controlling DH that does things without consulting you is usually worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:27 AM Flag
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Omg. I have actually ruled out guys on dates because of this kind of thing. I don’t want to feel like my date’s mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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He sounds like an introvert. I’d be annoyed by this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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he sounds very unmanly- such a turnoff. would he protect you in a dangerous situation or just stand back???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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My DH tries to do this a lot, but I really just don't let him. He's 6'5 and very attractive and whenever he tries to stand meekly in a corner, I basically butter him up by telling him that we'll have a much better chance getting in quicker if he goes bc he looks important, or I say that he can smile at at the hostess if it's a woman, and then he'll try to say that I look just as good or have a way with words so I should go. At that point I just say I don't agree and I won't go so we'll be waiting all night. Then he goes. I'm annoyed that I even have to do all that, but I prefer it to me always having to take charge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone has an issue with someone wanting to spend time with their children when they were not present? I have a relative (female) that has a specific interest in develop an independent relationship w my DDs and doing fun activities but not inviting me along. They have a ball but this desire to exclude me bothers me. I don’t have a concern about sexual abuse or anything. She invites my mother along and she is very very generous but I’m not sure what this is about. Does anyone have experience with this? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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how are you guys starting posts? I have a "manage settings" bar over the new post button. :( Sorry to hijack, but was hoping for some Urban Baby help tonight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Bottom left of your screen, "new post." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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^^Sorry, I see you have something weird going on. Maybe re-boot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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I've been extremely close with my aunt all my life. I think it's been really helpful to me to have a relationship with a non-parent relative. I can tell her anything and she has played a different role in my life than my mom has (or could). I would encourage this unless you think there is something unhealthy or strange about the interaction/person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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It’s odd. I enjoy spending time with my niece. And I am happy to babysit when my sil asks. But I would actively seek out alone time with her just as a way to nurture our relationship. Would you describe the family seeking time with your dd as controlling? Does she have healthy relationships with the other family members? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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^^^^ I would NOT actively seek alone time... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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maybe your relative had a close aunt that she had a similar independent relationship with and she wants to be that aunt to your children. My kids have an aunt like this and I think it is great. I think kids benefit from relationships with adults that are not their parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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She did have an independent relationship like this and it was very unhealthy. Within our family, it is a well known example of a person interfering in the parent child dynamic. If anything I guess knowing her own history I’m shocked she would do something that on the surface looks like a brazen attempt to repeat the same thing that was done to her. It took years for her to heal her relationship with her mother and she is extremely resentful of the relative who manipulated her as a child. So I don’t understand why she thinks I would go for this. Too weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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that does sound weird, or maybe she is trying to right the wrong? by having a healthy relationship with her nieces? i think you have nothing to loos by saying that you like to spend time together too. you can make the alone time a special event , like for a birthday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Then put a stop to it, it does not sound like a healthy thing for your relative to do and you do not want your DD eventually suffering for it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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No and there are a few other things she does that are odd reenactments of unhealthy patterns from her childhood but what’s CRAZY is that she seemed surprised when I mentioned excluding me so she was either gaslighting or, like, a therapist’s wet dream [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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What is even crazier is that you are allowing this to happen, it's all on you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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I don’t like it. She doesn’t need to exclude you every time to be close to them. That’s just me. I’m very close to my brother and sister’s children because we all spend time together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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OP here. This. I think we can have a nice overlapping GROUP dynamic. My husband is wonderful too. I don’t understand why she wants this segmentation... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Does she have dcs of her own? Maybe she’s looking for beneficiaries? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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She might be. Told me previously that she made me her beneficiary and heir. Could be true, but honestly, it’s leprechauns gold. I haven’t given that comment a second thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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Well if she’s a nice woman, and fond of you, stands to reason she will be fond of your dcs and want to know them. Sounds like a win-win-win situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:20 AM Flag
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How is she related? Is she your Aunt? Does she have kids of her own? I love to spend time with my nieces and nephews alone because we can be silly and fun. They will always prefer their parent. IF your kids are well behaved, it is a nice thing for someone who is lonely or misses their kids. It is odd that she excludes you. Maybe she thinks she is giving you a break? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Tell us how she is related to you and we can give you better advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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She is a first cousin. In our family this is a very close relation- she is my mother’s older sister’s first daughter. I’m sorry I know that’s very detailed but the bonds are CLOSE. Her mother died seven years ago and she doesn’t have children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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I’m single and this will be me in 20 years. She’s lonely and childless. Give her a break. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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Can't you let her have an independent relationship with your dd? Why are you so threatened? She has no kids. Jeez. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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Not the same but I had a neighbor growing up that used to do things with me, away from my parents. She was probably in her 50s? I was under ten. She took me to lunch or to shows, once to the toy store. I think she liked being with a nice little girl. Nothing sinister ever happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Is the RPM Raceway in Jersey city good? How many races wound be fun for 15/16 year olds? 2 or 3? TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Yeah, it’s fun for any age - different races/tracks. 2-3 should do it. Arcade games. There is bar food there. Had a kid birthday party there once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Fun! Took DH for his bday a few years back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:05 AM Flag
[ - ] My dh who I’m sure has undiagnosed Aspergers/Autism gets tricked by deals and scams often. It’s very strange because he is a successful business owner but outside of his own very specific industry he seems to have no typical adult skills of understanding that people don’t give you things for free, when something seems like a bad business investment, etc.. Apparently an old sales manager of his is sick and wants to “give” my DH his timeshare for free, DH will just have to pay the 1,500/month. I don’t know a single thing about timeshares, but I do know that there must be motivation on friends part to get rid of this and/or transfer it. I told DH this sounds this and he walked out of the room. Does anyone have any knowledge of these things so I can give him info on why this is a bad idea? TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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OP here. I’m sorry...1,500/year - not month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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There is usually a yearly maintenance fee by the time share for general upkeep and it can be pricey. If your family is solely using the time share then this guy will expect you to pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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Time shares are poor values at best, a scam at worse. just ask your DH to give you a copy of the paperwork BEFORE he signs anything, ever. GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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Say no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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Your dh could just be a guy without a lot of common or practical sense. Ya know, street smarts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO ACCEPT, he will get stuck paying for the rest of his life, people want to get rid of time share schemes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Is anyone familiar with Baltimore? How safe is it for a female to walk around the harbor area at night? Never been, so I don't know. Thinking about Harbor East Marina near Roy's restaurant, Fleming's, La Scala, etc. Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Go and see the Garbage Wheel, it's actually really cool: https://www.baltimorewaterfront.com/healthy-harbor/water-wheel/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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that area is totally fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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touristy, south street seaport-like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:22 AM Flag
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It's fine in Harbor East generally. If it's 2am and you're alone and closer to La Scala as opposed to Roy's, I might hesitate more. But with another person, around 9-10pm- totally and completely fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Will any TT school seriously look at kids for K applying who are currently 4th tier private k-12 that has nursery and pre-k? Plan for was DC to go from 4th tier to G&T (DC is a sibling). current private school was a back-up in case took more than one year to make test cut-off. Now that weird things are brewing for G&T, thinking maybe should look at private for K but only want one that will be academically stronger.Wondering whether already being at a private is a non-starter. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 09.15.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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So nursery academics weren’t strongest at your current school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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no and we knew that but liked it for younger years and figured we would mvoe dc to g&t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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G&T isn’t going anywhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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maybe. but could change sibling priority or otherwise change admissions standards. changes the calculus for the decision we made. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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This was us. Feedback that we got was without a PSD lobbying for us, we were swimming uphill. Nothing wrong with us or our kid, but there are enough great, “qualified” kids coming from The Establishment Preschools that most TT schools don’t need to give people coming from other private schools a look. It does happen but it’s much much harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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kind of what i figured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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This is nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Agree. Nonsense. TT schools aren’t taking entire classes from a tiny number of schools. They, too, want diversity in their classes, even from preschools. True, it is more difficult without a PSD doing a lot of the finessing, but not impossible. Join the Parents League and talk to one of their advisors - they will be able to give you great information. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Also, forgot to mention that I know people who turned down TT preschools for this very reason - because they didn’t want to have to compete with the siblings and legacies. I know several people at smaller, lesser known preschools who have done very well for themselves because they didn’t have as much competition in their preschool classes (many going to public/far fewer siblings and legacies). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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I posted above, and you’re wrong. I did speak to the Parents League. They are politically correct and stuffy. They will not tell you any actual insider info. There’s also a big difference between “diversity of preschools” and applying from another ongoing school. Without a PSD, it’s up to the school to decide how serious an applicant you are, too. Places like Brearley don’t want first choice letters. But they do want a good yield. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:38 AM Flag
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Totally not true anymore. The more random, the better, with respect to nursery school applying to TT. Normal families, unconnected, will have a harder time in broker process at the baby ivies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Relax. DC will get a spot at G&T. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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I can tell you mean Dwight. There is a family in my K TT grade who came from Dwight and also got into every other tt to which they applied. But kinda had a hook. Not URM, but somewhat exotic. Punt is, it’s possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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Typo point is, not punt! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Within just a few years, my grandmother went from normal, happy and healthy to cranky, slow and aggressive. It’s sad to see and she isn’t that old. It all happened over the course of 2-3 years. So sad. It started in her early seventies. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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It is sad. But I think we’ve become kind of delusional about what I means to age these days. I think after 60-65 you’re in the window and anything can happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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I agree. There are people who still work, are active and sharp at age 80 and we think it must be like this for everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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^ I am afraid she will get sick and die earlier :(( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Fewer than we would like to believe. All my greats, grands and parents lived well into their 80s. And some beyond. Not one of them could keep up with a full work schedule past early to mid 60s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Yes this is often the time of life this happens, can be startling to loved ones as can seem quite sudden, especially if you don’t see grandma every day so allowing it to creep up on you bit by bit. So sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:22 AM Flag
[ - ] What brand are your favorite sweatpants/ joggers not for working out but for lounging? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Alternative Apparel, American Giant, Marine Layer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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Uniqlo lounge suits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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CostCo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Pact organic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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I don’t even recognize any of these brands. Are you ladies 22 years old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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35 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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I love, love, love the Uniqlo 360 degree stretch pants, I have been wearing them since last night! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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Splendid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:42 AM Flag
[ - ] DC has an 89/90% average from TT school and a >1400 SAT. Is leaning toward the West Coast (but has a few Eastern schools on the list). Options so far in include schools like University of San Francisco, University of San Diego and a few others. These schools are not very highly-ranked (in USNWR). Tell me I'm being foolish to care about this. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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West Coaster here. UCSD is fine but USF is nothing special. If s/he is coming all the way here, why not UC-Irvine, Santa Barbara or even Santa Cruz? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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There are a few UC schools on the list, but DC was hoping for something more in the 5-10K range in terms of student body. Other schools on the list include Santa Clara, Chapman, Occidental (which is smaller), and then a smattering of larger ones (UCs and SDSU). I guess I'm struggling with the reputation aspect. While GPA isn't tippy-top, it's respectable and the course load is rigorous. College counselor has added some bigger name schools to the list, but I feel like DC is buying into the idea that it's so rigorous that unless you have a 3.8+, it isn't worth trying. Maybe that's true; if so, I want to get excited about the likely options. But I'm struggling with the fact that no one has heard of most of these schools. If you're from the West Coast, do you think I'm right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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^When I said above that DC is buying into the idea that it's so "rigorous", what I mean is buying into the idea that admissions is so competitive, that anything short of a 3.8+ isn't worth applying to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Where does DC want to live or do after graduation? If staying on the West Coast, it probably matters a bit less. I mean, my DH went to Binghamton and complains that no one has heard of it here! But I would encourage DC to compromise on school size before compromising on reputation. At least apply and see what happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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Would also add that being out of state sometimes give you a leg up if you don’t need financial aid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Thanks. No, we don't need financial aid and the college counselor thinks that DC is likely to get merit money from many of the schools on our list (which would be nice). I guess I'm thinking why not NYU, BU or other schools that I think have stronger name recognition...but I'm trying to be supportive. I think DC is open to staying on the West Coast post graduation, but I guess it's hard to know at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Your child went to a TT school and will be fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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How can you be a west coaster and not know that university of San Diego is not the same as UCSD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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PP: Well, I’m a former East Coaster and I live in the Bay Area. I’ve never heard of USD. I guess that’s fodder for OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:14 AM Flag
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USD is Jesuit, I believe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 06:44 AM Flag
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OP was referring to USD not UCSD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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Stupidest thing to consider EVER [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Please indulge me and tell me why is stupid. I'm sure I'm just stressed because I swear that if you'd asked me this a year ago, I would have said I don't car about rankings and that it's all about fit. But now that DC is actually applying and it's becoming more real, I'm second guessing the list and feeling like we should be looking for fit AND reputation. Talk me down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Where you go to undergrad hardly matters. It IS all about fit. Four years of perfect bliss. Not a list with the most bizarre methodology. Just file this one with... if all your friends jumped off a bridge... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Thank you. You're right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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My pleasure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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Of course where you go to undergrad matters. This is absurd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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np: Well it matters in the sense that if you get into an Ivy the name recognition, etc. will do you many favors. But assume an Ivy, Stanford, etc. is off the table - it doesn't matter in the way that people who take photos of their child on a rowing machine to pretend they did crew so they can go to USC vs. AZ State think it does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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It’s where you go to grad school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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shockingly, not everyone goes to grad school. I co-run a pretty big entertainment co, and -- sit down for this -- I do not have a grad degree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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No, it truly doesn’t [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Why did you waste all that money on private school? My goodness this is idiotic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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What did you want her to do? Pull her kid out of school mid way and put him in public because he has an 89 average? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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What to you is a waste, to many is setting their child up for a more successful life. Education keeps on paying back, so college placement is not really the reason to get private K-12 ed.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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Um,don't really agree that spending 700K on a tt education makes much sense if your kid "struggles." (though I agree with poster above that once the kid is in, you have to play it out. You can't know what kind of student they will be when they are 5). Don't think graduating Trinity et al and then going to Santa Clara really "sets their child up for a more successful life." It is what it is. Unless if, by "successful" you mean he met some fancy kids at Trinity and those contacts might help him down the line. But that's not about the education. Your k-12 education really doesn't set you up for much except college, alas. It doesn't "keep on paying back" on its own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:51 AM Flag
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OP. We can agree to disagree. I'll leave it at that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 05:23 AM Flag
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Is your child at the bottom of the class at the TT? Those sound like strange choices for a TT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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No, not at all. This is partly why I'm feeling a little concerned. The issue is wanting to be in CA and looking for schools of a certain size. There aren't as many to pick from. There are a few East Coast schools on the list and I'm going to encourage DC to apply to some larger schools just to keep options open. Test scores were solid and ECs are good, so I feel like this list is really "safe", but I think DC is intimidated by the other kids in the grade who have stronger GPAs and are applying to schools like USC, Stanford, Claremont Colleges, and top UCs like (Cal and UCLA). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone been to New Zealand? Worth it to spend a few days on the North Island to see Rotorua or just head over to the South Island? Have 12 days, not including travel from the States. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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Rotors for what? Rafting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Sorry auto correct. I enjoyed the all day spelunking glowrooms but not everyone is that curious and fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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For the hot springs, I guess. The pictures look beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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I prefer natural hot springs. And it smells of sulphur. The whole town whether or not you go to the hot springs. And even though crank works is there I wouldn’t do the mountain biking downhill only cross country. The rafting was good too. Worlds tallest commercially rafted drop of 21 feet. It’s a crummy town (no offence to any Uber’s from there). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Also the very north of north island is beautiful like south Polynesian islands [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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And lord of the rings Hobbit town is on north island too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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we liked rotorua. also auckland is nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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What did you like about it? Good for DC (7,9)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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they have hot springs, geysers- all of the thermal stuff. personally we thought iceland was better but maybe because it was more dangerous (was just DH and I-although at the time we weren't married- i think rotorua would be better with kids- no worries they would get burned or something). we also went to a glowworm cave- waitomo i think- as a day trip. it was cool. auckland was just kind of a cool city- was niceto walk around. there wasn't tons to do but was a good base for a day or two to get acclimated after a long flight. we had some good chinese food too. later we went to the south island. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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Np take a day trip to Waikiki island from Auckland [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:41 AM Flag
[ - ] It’s fall and that lonely feeling is creeping in again. Back to work and no social life. Help. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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You didn’t work all summer? Count yourself lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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No I worked, but we went out of the city on weekends and had a group of friends. It all ends when summer ends. I work plenty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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Sounds like you work even more in the winter. I am sorry. I know what it feels like. I am totally stressed out and hate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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And on ub you think you’ll find people who can’t relate and are socially fulfilled? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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I was hoping for some comfort -... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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OP, do you not have friends in the city? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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I do but we don’t go out much and I just don’t feel as close with them as the friends I had when I was young, even when I was single. I feel like it’s all competitive as to whose kids are achieving what and who has more money. I know I am hypersensitive but I don’t feel like I can trust these women in the same way as I could old friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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You would be right. Most great friendships are formed before 22. Pretty much everyone else is adults you socialize with; relationships with little substance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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I'm with you, though I don't even have a job to keep me busy. I just moved back to the city and have the kids in a new school so no parent friends and nothing to do on the weekends that isn't with the kids. I do have one friend, but she's in a new relationship and doesn't have much time these days so it's pretty lonely. DH travels a lot so date nights are rare, and I've started taking the kids out to dinner a lot, just to feel like I have a social life, which depresses me more. I'm hopeful that once I find a job, at least I'll have something more to do. So I don't have advice for you, but you're not alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on Bucknell? DC thinking about applying ED. NYC private, excellent grades, creative, mediocre SAT (but Bucknell went test optional this year). 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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My daughter applied to Lehigh and didn't get in. I went back into my old email to find a quote from an old boss of mine during the application year: "So, X is going into her senior year at Bucknell. Coming from Yale before we toured I actually didn't know those Lehigh Valley schools existed (Lehigh, Lafayette, Bucknell, etc) but those schools are populated by the happiest bunch of smart kids I've ever seen. So, if lower level D1 is something your daughter would be interested in, I'm a big fan of Lehigh." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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BTW if it matters, she went to Oberlin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Thank you! Helpful. She probably can't get in to Lehigh with her scores (and that hill!), but Lafayette is still on the list, just a bit small... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Any other ideas for schools with a similar vibe? Nothing under 3,000 undergrads. TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Villanova University [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Don't want any religious affiliation... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Dickinson, Swarthmore, Haverford, Gettysburg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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kid with mediocre SAT not getting into Swarthmore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 04:57 AM Flag
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I had no idea Lehigh had gotten so competitive! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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So many schools have gotten crazy competitive including Lehigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Have you visited? Went to Lafayette and Lehigh this summer and the area was really depressing. Shut down factories practically on campus. No kind of town. We did not get to Bucknell. I toured there many years ago as an applicant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:56 PM Flag
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We went twice, it's beautiful and a cute college town. Definitely better than Bethlehem! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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Beautiful campus in the middle of nowhere. Good academics but party school full of rich, white private school kids. Very little diversity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Seems they are actively trying to improve that...one of the reasons they went test optional...and they made sure to have a diverse panel of students and faculty present at the open house and marketing material as might be expected... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Are there any schools that are not "party" schools?? It's college...and they are teenagers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Every college doesn’t have a dedicated “frat row” lined with frat houses that look like mansions where beer is openly served to underaged kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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Most schools with Greek life have frat houses...if not frat houses, other alternatives and almost always some drinking and partying... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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Yes however the fact that Bucknell is located in such an isolated place, there aren’t many options for going out off campus. So there is are a lot of parties on campus every weekend bc there’s nothing else to do. It’s still a great school. But it’s a known party school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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I hear you, but I think this is the case for schools in big cities also, but that adds bars/clubs to the mix so a different type of partying. So curious what you would use an an example of a non-party school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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I not here claiming to be some expert on colleges, I’m speaking from personal experience. But you can also google it and that’s a reputation that’s associated with the place. I guess a non party school would be somewhere that doesn’t have such a heavy presence of frats and sororities and filled with spoiled rich Ivy rejects. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.14.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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That is harsh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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np- I went to Bucknell, and in the early 2000s, it was a party school. There was nothing to do on weekends besides drink (the student union etc tried to have other activities but they were sparsely attended by awkward kids). In retrospect I wish I had attended a more well rounded college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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Did you get a strong education? Make friends? Receive career support? Have fun? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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I agree. Even Georgia Tech has a frat row [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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This was u penn in the 90s. What’s your point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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Which part? UPenn is Ivy and in Philly, totally different schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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fwiw, if you are rich and white it isn't really test-optional. That's just a way to get more applications, and more diverse candidates. Signed someone who has been in admissions at a highly ranked TO school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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NP. I've heard this, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Did you look at other LAC? What about Connecticut College? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Yes, but most are less than 2,500 undergrads and that's too small for DC.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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What quartile is she in within her private school? That should give you th best idea as to where she’s going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Top 20% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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Then Bucknell should be no issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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