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[ - ] s/o those of you with "dense breasts" as defined by radiologists, what sort of testing do you have done? mamos? sonograms? MRI? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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What is your family history? Both mammogram and ultrasound missed my breast cancer. I felt the lump first. I think MRIs are the best ways if you are very high-risk. Second best is mammogram + ultrasound. And of course, you should really do a self-exam because that is the most likely way that it will be discovered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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Bc of family history (ovarian and breast cancer), I have had yearly mammo since 35, plus a baseline MRI at 37. When they found cysts with mammo (2xs), I had an MRI immediately and then 6 mo. follow ups (all clean). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:39 PM Flag
[ - ] So pissed. Have been trying to make plans with a friend for months. I told her summer weekends were bad for me. I won't see her again for a year or more, if ever. We agreed to meet tomorrow night. So I lose an entire weekend at the beach. He doesn't like to come into the city after work. Find out she is inthe city tonight to have dinner with other friends. I am so over this relationship and not looking forward to seeing her anymore. I think this friendship has died. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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Umm...she had plans with other friends..so what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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Why could she see me on a Friday night? Not tonight but any other Friday night from may to September?? I do not want to spend the weekend in the city. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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She's just not that into you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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Because you are annoying as hell. Why don't you go to her house then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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And do what exactly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Poop on her couch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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You want to see her, isn't there anything to do where she lives? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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Why are you upset? she has another friends she already had plans with, were you expecting her to accomodate her schelude so it wiuld fit you? Btw is she leaving the states for good? Why do you imply you would never see her again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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Yes. She is moving abroad. I told her in April or may I could not see her summer weekends. Never made plans. I offered to come meet her in CT for dinner after work one day when I had off. She said don't do that, I'll come see you on x day. Then realized she wasn't available on xday like two days before and I already made plans for the original day I had proposed. And on and on. I'm just over it. I am pissed she is meeting others on a Friday but wouldn't offer me a Friday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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Just cancel. You shouldn't have agreed to do something you don't want to do because she won't do something she doesn't want to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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+1. You're putting complete parameters on her and then mad when she puts some on you. Ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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I just want to get it over with. Then I won't feel bad when I skip her going away party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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You are a drama queen, maybe she doesn't want to see you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:35 PM Flag
[ - ] S/o. I think high school essays should be in-class. SO many kids get help from their parents. I WOH and don't have time to help my dcs, plus I'm not a great writer anyway. Puts my kids at a disadvantage. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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Cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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I agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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People help their kids write essays in high school?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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Yikes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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I wrote my own and my mom was SAH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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it's different today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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Maybe for an isolated set but I don't think it is true across the board. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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You'd be surprised at the number of crappy writers out there. Just received a draft document from a supposedly well educated client and it is a piece of crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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i don't remember even 1 instance when my parents helped me with homework past 5th grade. either you have it or you don't. noone is entitled to an A or perfect GPA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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op. My mother was a SAHM and never helped with HW, but it's different now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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My Dad helped me with AP Physics, but never wrote anything for me. No different than having a tutor. Writing is different though. Teachers should be able to see the child's ability. For Physics, obviously my Dad couldn't help me on the test. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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TUTORS are helping kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] How can I go from Newark Airport to Manhattan downtown? By taxi or any other public transportation recommended? Thanks in advance for help! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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I would do taxi. Quickest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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Worst advice ever- traffic and the Holland Tunnel approach will bankrupt you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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Nj transit train into penn station Newark. Switch to path. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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Take Airtrain to NJ Transit or Amtrak Train. Both will take you to Penn Station in NYC. Then take subway downtown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Court processes with ex-H seem endless. He owes me about $50k in child support, and is not making any payments on hundreds of thousands of dollars of joint loans. I have been playing by all the nice rules, given him time to get his shit together. I'm tired of it and tired of paying my lawyer. Just let him go to jail? He never sees dcs anyway. No, this is not fake (I wish it were). 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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Provide notice and then let him go to jail. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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I might just let it happen. Judges have threatened it before, I have let him get out of it because it's all very upsetting, worried about dcs knowing...but I have had it. No more protecting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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Yes, let him go to jail. It will likely motivate him to find the money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Moving out of the city... Need car advice! We have a 5 yr old, 2 yr old and 3 month old. We're deciding between the honda odyssey, land rover LR4 or Mercedes GL450. DH does not want a minivan, but I want easy! Need 3 rows. Ideas!? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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I fought the minivan for so long...and now I wouldn't trade it for anything!! Get the highest end Odyssey and you won't regret it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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OP: I know.. DH said no way. He's afraid how it'll be in the snow and he loves SUVs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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We also have a LandCruiser, and it is hell with kids. Because it's big, it's already tight in parking spaces and then if the kids open the doors, they ALWAYS get the cars next to us. It means that we have to open ALL the doors for the kids every single time we load/unload (and mine are older than yours). When we have the Odyssey, we just push a button to slide them open and closed, and the kids can't harm other people's cars with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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I'd rather be dead. Audi Q7. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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Dead? Wow, why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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I just can't drive a mini van. Potentially immature I realize. But there you have it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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Potentially? It is just silly. I am not saying you SHOULD drive a minivan, since I know nothing about you, but to say I CAN't is just obnoxious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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Audi Q7 is too small. Tight 3rd row. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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you rarely need to use it. We have one with 3 kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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She's moving to the suburbs... Rarely use it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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The odyssey cant get out of its own way and is terrible in the snow. Im getting something else next time. It is so low and wide that people are constantly hitting it in parking lots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it a good idea to sort of over extend yourself and buy a place you can barely afford and be cash poor for a while, and even run into a chance of having to sell your place if you lose your job, and view it as a forced saving/potential investment that can be carried into retirement? Or is it better to buy something you can comfortable afford and run into the risk of spending much of the disposable income to fianance a better life style? Any BTDT with good advice? TIA. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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Buy what you can afford. Learn to control your spending. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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Too late about the second part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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Never too late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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Can't teach an old dog new tricks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:14 PM Flag
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Don't stretch and have the extra $$$ directly deposited into a brokerage account to invest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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But why is stock investment better than real estate? I could lose it fast? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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np: its more diversified. if its all in your house you basically have all your money in one asset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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Because all your eggs will not be in one basket. You can accumulate the $$$ in relatively safe investments like CDs, money market accounts, etc and then buy an investment property if you prefer real estate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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I see what you are saying. Assuming my assets are already diversified, what would your thinking be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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Your question makes no sense. If you overextend yourself in purchasing an apt/house...your investments will be extremely unbalanced and lack diversification. If you have cash/stocks/bonds that you will not be spending on the real estate that are 40-60% of your overall portfolio then you not be over extending yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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I feel more comfortable with the second approach but we have fairly simple needs and tend to save a lot naturally so I'm not concerned about the money going to fund a "better life style" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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OP: I will be much happier in the second approach, but I think I will end up with a more secured retirement with the first approach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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Where are you going to live when you retire? What is your property burns to the ground? Nose dives in worth? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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Why would you have a more secure retirement? A paid off house and savings is greater security than hoping for an up real estate market to be timed with your retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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We did this and got extremely lucky. Wouldn't do it again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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What did you do? Over extend yourself? Why wouldn't you do it again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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DH got an internal transfer for a job he thought he would really love while I was SAH (from non-NYC office to NYC). This was in finance and his hours skyrocketed while his comp stayed flat - and he was one of the lucky ones. Our plan had been for him to stay in the job , get anticipated promotion with decently large pay increase in a couple of years and for me to go back to work at about the same time. We stretched on that premise. He just wanted out and we knew it wasn't sustainable for our family long-term. Ended up lucky on timing of sale and made a very good return but the time between when we first started mapping a plan to leave and when we finally sold and did so were stressful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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i say don't buy anything if you cannot control your spending [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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As long as you can afford private if you end up hating public. I know people in $3m places who hate the school and wont sell their places for private. But at least their kids have gorgeous rooms! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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Both situations would not affect our kids' school situations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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Someone is still paying for school when you lose your job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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No guarantee you won't over extend to buy a house you can't really afford AND spend even more to to have a "better" lifestyle. In fact, that is exactly what happens to many people. They continue to try to keep up with their neighbors, taxes are higher, they need more this and better that because they have a more expensive house. Horrible trap to fall into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone's DH been unemployed for a while? How is he handling it? What are his /your plans? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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Sell our place and move out of NYC, Both get a back office job until kids graduate from college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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My husband's business failed and it took him about two years give or take to pick himself up and brush himself off. He is now working again and starting to regain his confidence and making inroads to a successful second act. I worked and have always earned about half the money and we usually lived off one income, so while we didn't save tons beyond 401/SEP during those years, it wasn't devastating. It has taken a toll on our relationship. Hoping that works its way out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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DH was unemployed and was a bit down about not making $$$ or furthering his career. I had/have a healthy salary so it wasn't a huge impact on our finances. Fast-forward several years, he started his own business and makes more then ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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Underemployed on and off for almost three years and unemployed the last seven months. He was depressed and angry for awhile. He's a lot more pleasant now. I was extremely resentful and angry for awhile but I had to admit to myself that it wasn't totally his fault. Luckily my income can support the family but it's a lot of pressure and i have no one tot talk to because I don't want to put him down to my friends. He has joked that the kids and I would be better off without him and that frightens me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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Sorry you have the stress but I would talk to your friends, don't bottle it up. Do you have one or two you are close to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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I bitched about my DH constantly while he wasn't working and it upset him. But then again, he did elect not to work for several years. And yes it was a choice. As soon as he started looking he was employed full-time within a few months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you feel financially secure if you have $7mm in assets, more to come in inheritance (which you don't know when, but roughly $4mm), 2 very young children in private, and a very unstable job that could disappear any time? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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OP: I don't either. Worried to death everyday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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np: about having ~$250k/year for the next 40 years? You have to be kidding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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Yeah - the bitch needs some perspective. She's worried about not being able to maintain her $1m a year lifestyle... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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secure? I guess - but would work towards finding a stable job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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Ditto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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no, since i eat caviar, drink Moet and wipe my derriere with gold foiled toilet paper every day [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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Obviously not or you wouldn't be asking twice a week. Are you a single parent? Actress? If so, live well below your means. Well below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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No but if I owned my apt outright and had no debt, a bit better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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Yes, but I may move our of NYC. You can live very comfortably on interest from those assets. A very unstable job would drive me crazy if I had to rely on that income to support my family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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Let's see. YOur dc's teacher makes about 75k before-tax, or 50k after-tax. So, it will take them 220 years to make the $11m that you have. Do you think they are so scared that they will take it on your dcs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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Are the assets illiquid? If so, no. If they are liquid, yes. B/c you could always move to low COL area and be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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exactly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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Oh please! Why is everyone answering this obvious VBA??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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This is very close to our situation. We dont feel secure because expenses keep escalating. We just keep working and hoping the number creeps higher with the stock market. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
[ - ] 10 year old DD won't take off these booty shorts SIL got her. She is dancing inappropriately and singing inappropriate songs. WWYD? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:09 PM Flag
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What kind of question is this? If real, tell her to stop. You're the parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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I have been all day. She's refusing and I can't just rip the shorts off of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Yes, you can. And then you can cut them up and throw them away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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+ a million. Take the shorts away and ditch them. You are the mother. Don't be insane about it, just do it very calmly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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Lame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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Not OP, but I'm not sure what is meant by this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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Tell her in the house it's one thing, but the dancing and the shorts don't leave the house. Be a parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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I don't want this inside my house. I told her she will no longer be able to go over her aunts house if this continues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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go over TO her aunt's house. This isn't flyover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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+1 and in about 2 weeks, toss the shorts (lost in laundry). Also ask DH to speak to SIL and tell her that her school/camp requires shorts past her finger tips. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:14 PM Flag
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At home, alone? Fine. Out of the house? Not fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:14 PM Flag
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In her room with door closed? Fine. Anywhere else? Not okay. End of story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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She's 10? I see people with the shortest shorts on all day long and it never strikes me as weird in the summer. I'm not sure what "booty" shorts all. Sounds like what half of the patrons at the public library where I work are wearing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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This just sounds entertaining. What exactly is she singing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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I just threw away a tee shirt my 19 YO daughter likes but I think is beyond offensive. She asked me to do some laundry for her. Her loss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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The other day I saw a teenage girl wearing a shirt that said, "Eat Pussy Not Meat". That would bother me if it were my DD. Short shorts? I don't think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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Looks like you'll be a young grandmother someday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm a bit at a loss over this situation, so I was wondering how you all would react. I just started my job as an assistant professor this summer, and I'm teaching two courses right now. My students just handed in their second paper (and last) for the course. I have a student-athlete in my class. On his first essay, he did quite badly. On his midterm, he got a D. When I graded the recently submitted essay, I was blown away. It was immaculate. If I gave him a 100, the next closes grade in the class wouldn't even be an A. It was THAT much better. Obviously, the kid had help. I scoured the Internet, but found no evidence of plagiarism. I'm 99% certain his athletic department had someone write it for him. However, because I can't prove it and can't really approach him with "You are clearly not bright enough to have written this", I feel like I'm just going to have to award him his A+, which will allow him to pass the class (barely, but still pass). What would you do? This is eating me alive because it feels so wrong. 60 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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closest* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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call his coach and say this essay sucked too and you are preliminarily giving him a fail grade and see what his reaction is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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I would give him the A+ and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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This. Get used to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:09 PM Flag
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OP: Yeah, that's what some of my colleagues are saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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Maybe he pulled it together for the final [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Is this a division I school and is the student a football or basketball player? Give him the A+ but if you can you should keep copies of all his work (hopefully you still have midterm). And next time you teach a class that athletes take, have all of their work done in class. You can tell them they can bring notes from research they have done, and an outline, but the writing has to be done in class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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^^^and PS - this can happen with non-athletes, too, who cheat on papers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Just give him the A+. He barely passed the class anyway, not like he is stealing an academic award from a more worthy student. are you really this petty? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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OP: He's a freshman. It's going to continue to happen, and he'll probably get a degree out of it. It's just sad to me that the brightest kid in the classroom and this kid will have the same degree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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You need to get over it. Wow your head is so far up your butt, it's scary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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OP: How does this qualify me as having my head up my ass? I see kids with 2 jobs working their asses off, coming to class every day, giving it their all, and staying up late to look through notes and then this kid who gets his work done for him by his handlers. It's unfair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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Life's not fair, you need to deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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As a professor, it's kind of her job to deal with this stuff. Sorry it's not a big deal to you. If life isn't fair, should you encourage CEOs to look the other way when accountants are cooking the books? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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She has no way of proving the kid cheated, she needs to let it go. In the future she should have in-class essays only. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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You are a strange person. This is a professor concerned with academic integrity - perhaps a foreign concept to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:15 PM Flag
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she must have been a cheater in college [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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OP: You won't make it through the dissertation process if you rely upon cheating. I promise you that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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Maybe he just wrote the first paper in 20 mins? Why assume he is dumb? You have no evidence, give the paper the grade it deserves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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OP: We have lots of quizzes and exercises in the class. He does very poorly on most of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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You should assign in-class essays only, from now on. Problem solved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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This. I went to an ivy, majority of my papers in college were written in-class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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OP: Interesting idea. I like this approach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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I would talk to him about it. Not in an accusatory/threatening way. But tell him that you think he is bright and capable and can learn to do his work on his own and that you're concerned that he is a) selling himself short and b) getting himself into a situation where he could get in serious trouble if caught. Give him an opportunity to come clean and rectify the situation without you reporting it up ans offer to help him. You want to be a teacher. Here's a kid who needs to be taught. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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What? She has no proof, she can't talk to him about shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Here is how she gets proof- throw the two texts into compare software and it will tell you the likelihood it was written by the same person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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yeah um that's not going to fly in the court of law [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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She doesn't need "proof" to talk to the kid. This is not about taking official action, it's about reaching out as a human being to a kid who is going to get screwed if he continues to think the only people who can help him are the ones who are asking him to lie, cheat, and steal for their own ulterior motives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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Yeah I had professors "reach out to me" ths way, when I did not cheat! I just felt like pulling my shit together for the final exam/paper. It was extremely insulting. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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Well then you deserved to be insulted because you were disrespectful to them by blowing off the earlier assignments. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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disrespectful to them? wtf. I am paying THEM, not the other way around. I don't owe them anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:20 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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x2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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yuck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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what's "yuck?" truth hurts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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Yikes. What a mindset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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Don't bother trying to explain it to her. Some people just don't value knowledge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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lol give him an opportunity to come clean - please, it's one class (and I know OP feels passionately about it since she jsut started), but it's not like he is getting an A+ for the class - she cannot prove anything, best to leave it be [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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It's likely not going to end with one paper in one class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:09 PM Flag
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Exactly. Especially as a student athlete. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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so, that is not her problem and she cannot prove anything....time to move on and work on ruining someone elses life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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Not in college. College students are responsible for their own education. He is not a "kid who needs to be taught"; he is an adult college student who needs to bring more to his own education. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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This is "eating you alive," really? Get a real problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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OP: Cheating is a really big deal to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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Wow you are really going overboard. Murder is a big deal. Kidnapping is a big deal. Cheating on a paper so that you pass a class...not such a big deal, sorry to tell you. You seem to have an inflated sense of your own importance/the importance of academics in the grand scheme of things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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In academia, cheating is a big deal. People get expelled from universities for cheating on one exam. She's right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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she does not know he cheated, she only believes he did [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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File this one under D for Duh. He did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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right. OP, how dare you talk about something other than murder or kidnapping on this board? outrageous! if you don't have something to say about either of those you should not be posting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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*whoosh* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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OP: If, as a professor, I shouldn't be incensed by a student cheating on a paper worth a major portion of their grade, what should I be concerned about, in your opinion? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:15 PM Flag
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the hole in the ozone layer, gaza, somalian genocide [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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OP: So, I shouldn't be concerned with anything related to my career then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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np: some people care about their jobs and have a sense of ethics. of all the things I see posted on this site, this actually does qualify as a real problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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+100! Get some perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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Invite him to discuss his "wonderful" paper. Don't accuse. Just see if he can have an intelligent conversation about it. If he can, then at least he understands it. If not, then you have grounds to question whether he wrote it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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Bring it up with your department chair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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This. Cant be the first time it has happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Update: I got in touch with the geneticist. She says she is sorry, but she cannot give me any information over the phone. I have to make ANOTHER appointment if I want to discuss my results with her, but she suggests waiting for the specialist to come back with his assessment. UGH. This is killing me. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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they are your records. How is that possible? I would call her back, say "I don't want to discuss them with you; I want my results. I am coming to get my records, they belong to me, you can count that as an appointment, and I am happy to speak with the specialist when the time comes, but based on the way you conveyed this information to me, I find you unprofessional and need my results now." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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op. She said I need to come in and request the records in person, she wouldn't accept a phone request! So I might as well just come in for another appointment. I made one for two weeks from now, she said the specialist will probably have the results by then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:19 PM Flag
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could you fax a request? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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no, they want hard copy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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np. This is worth a try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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Tell her you'll need to speak w her superior. She never should have said what she said to you w/o more information. This is bs and we need to know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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this doctor is truly unprofessional, but i guess you can tell her that at your appointment and please make sure you get all your records from her while you are there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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She sounds awful. I am sorry that you have to wait another two weeks to get any information. Do you know of another geneticist? I don't like the way this one handled your situation (whatever it is). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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I think she's stalling. She obviously doesn't want to talk to you about this. Can you get an appointment with anyone sooner than 2 weeks?? If so go in person and get your records and bring them elsewhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Any one have a good kitchen system that they recommend? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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I saw another post about this yesterday; what does this even mean? Types of appliances? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.25.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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