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[ - ] dh wants to move to CA. I have job offer but he doesn't. afraid of becoming sole provider. told him we're not moving until he has job since i have no desire to move. unreasonable or ok? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:32 PM Flag
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Definitely OK! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:32 PM Flag
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Where in CA? I'm a NYer living in LA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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^^^also he should definitely find a job first. People are being laid off like flies here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:28 PM Flag
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This exact same thing happened to a friend! It's now been a year and her dh, who was succeessful in their old city and only quit to follow her and her job offer, cannot find a job there and has been really putting in an effort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o: Hypothetical - would you rather have a surrogate carry a baby using your egg, or carry a baby yourself using a donor egg? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:28 PM Flag
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I would adopt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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The former x 1000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:29 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:30 PM Flag
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You're Barren. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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If I know my eggs are ok, the former. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Donor egg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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Wasn't there a case where the surrogate mother and her husband decided to keep the baby, and the biol mother and father had no recourse? Idea scares me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:30 PM Flag
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Speaking as a mom who carried using DE... it was very important to me to be able to carry. I think a bond is created that cannot be gotten any other way than carrying the baby. But that's just me. Plenty of women have children through surrogates and it goes just fine. I have seen them report taking longer to feel a bond with their kids, fwiw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:34 PM Flag
[ - ] name poll: aquina lake (first name/middle name). we're really into bodies of water. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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How about fjord aquifer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:15 PM Flag
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ds is named fjord. we're looking for a name that goes with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:16 PM Flag
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Creek? Salt water estuary? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:17 PM Flag
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fake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:16 PM Flag
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Sorry, you sound black. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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You sound like moron. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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You're lovable. And by lovable, I mean disfigured. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:28 PM Flag
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i'm actually beautiful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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Why would being black warrant an apology by you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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Sorry if you don't understand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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Sorry that you are a bigot. Your loss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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Sorry not sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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Culvert Gorge [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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op--i should point out that this is a name for a dd. also considering river and harber. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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Black and stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:29 PM Flag
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omg !! rude!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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It's harbor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:37 PM Flag
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Cousins gave middle name "Rive" to daughter (french for river) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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OK, but what if it is a boy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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we know the baby is a dd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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Reservoir nn Ressie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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Aquinnah, MA on Martha's Vineyard is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I love it for a name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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we have a summer home there, that is why we are considering the name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:28 PM Flag
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Brooke or Bay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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np--how about 'bae'? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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Phony [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:32 PM Flag
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Aquina sounds like one of the little mermaid mersisters. I'd find a name that means "water" or something like that. Maybe Thalia (dew), Nadia (having dew on the surface), viviane (lady of the lake), Cordelia (of the sea), etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:37 PM Flag
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Slough Cesspool is nicer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone familiar with a free online translation site that would be fine to translate a brief, uncomplicated letter to parents in Spanish? TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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http://translate.google.com/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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Yo Why da hell would you wants ta transmalate things into Spanish when cracker ass english iz so much bettah? just like mammy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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You again? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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Yo You gots uh problem wif me? sho 'nuff! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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When does 5th period start? Go back to class, Johnny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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That's enough, Kingly's mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] What should I have stocked in my bar for a large party we are hosting on Memorial Day? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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Hennessy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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If it's during the day, just wine and beer. Throw in margaritas and/or sangria if you want something more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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ita. people will drink what's offered. don't make life complicated for yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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I second the sangria. It's not hard to make your own and it's so refreshing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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Beer, white and red wine, gin, vodka. (At a minimum.) I would add rum and bourbon. (If you know that someone is a scotch drinker, you might add that. ** As an alternative, just do beer and wine and make a big batch of something fun like a white wine sangria or John Daleys. (If you want to go crazy, I have a recipe for a drink with cucumber water, gin, St Germain which is really good.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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Fresh lemon slices ... plenty of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:32 PM Flag
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beer, wine, and 1 signature drink w hard liquer that you can make ahead in a pitcher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:39 PM Flag
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Sweet tea vodka [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Now it's my time to ask for help. Since losing my job seven and a half months ago, I've been an invaluable poster, commenter, advisor, confidant and, most important, friend to many of you on Urban Baby! It's time to update my resume and I would like to correctly add this to my resume. By gaining social media and other skills through this interaction, prospective employers will benefit. I'm just not sure what job title is appropriate for this position - and that's where you come in! What title should I use? TIA!! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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uh....... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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stretch it and say moderator? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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They'll check. UrbanBaby can be contacted, you know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:28 PM Flag
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Resident Yenta, Urban Baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:35 PM Flag
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Love you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:29 PM Flag
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You can't use this on your resume, sorry. Lots of people comment on forums/message boards - it's not a skill. Unless you have a username on a board and can point prospective employers to a backlog of consistently witty, informative, helpful posts that show you could be helpful on their social media sites, you can't use this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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See you recognize my posts - consistently witty, informative and helpful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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I think OP is kidding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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np: I don't think she is. I see all kind of job inventions on resumes that I come across. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:35 PM Flag
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You are grasping and who says you've been all those things here and how can you prove it? Pathetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:34 PM Flag
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I'd hire you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:34 PM Flag
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Virtual Mental Wellness Guru [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Was invited to a bridal shower for a woman I only met twice. She is the daughter of one of my husband's friends. I dont know if I should attend? Is it ok just to bow out and send a gift? We are also invited to the wedding in September, so I imagine I have to get another gift for the wedding also? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:09 PM Flag
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If it were me, I'd bow out and send a gift. Unfortunately, I think you have to buy both a shower gift and a wedding gift if you were invited to the shower. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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Same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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You only have to buy a gift if you attend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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np: I'd still send a gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:37 PM Flag
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I would politely decline, and no need for gift. Showers were supposed to be for close friends and family, not every woman invited to wedding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:18 PM Flag
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I wouldn't even send a gift unless your husband is really good friends with her father. I once got invited to a baby shower for a girl who sat at the same table as me for a group brunch. Never met her before that day. I think the bride is being a little tacky if she doesn't really know you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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I have been to a few showers of people I'm not as close with and I actually find it rather fun -- like, a nice way to celebrate a fun thing for someone. Either way, bring a gift, and if you can't make it, totally fine for you to RSVP no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:11 PM Flag
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Bow out and send a small gift, an outfit or some board books and those cute little socks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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shes registered at Bed Bath and Beyond..so I guess I can send her something from her registry- OP. I agree its a bit odd to get the invite. My husband isnt even close friends with her dad, hes just one of the guys that hangs out in his beer drinking group. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:16 PM Flag
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Just send a little something or a card. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:18 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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This is wedding shower, not a baby shower. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Sorry, I have baby on the brain. Then definitely something very small off the registry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] ok dumb question - but I bought one of those cute little desktop portable fish tanks.. It hooks up to my computer through a USB cable and has running water and a light. Is it safe for me to actually put one or 2 goldfish in it? I never had fish before so this is my first stab at this! thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:07 PM Flag
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Fake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:16 PM Flag
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so i have to buy fake fish?? Im serious..i am clueless..Not a fake post! - OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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lest you think i am joking..this is what i bought.. http://www.amazon.com/PET-LIFE-Digital-Desktop-Aquarium/dp/B00BJFFFQY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:13 PM Flag
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get the cheap feeder fish [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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Yes it's safe for fish. It looks really small for 2 though. I'd go with 1 goldfish or a beta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Planning a baby shower for my SIL and looking for a diaper cake. I found one at this site: http://alldiapercakes.com. Let me know what you think? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 05.22.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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Cheese o Rama. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:13 PM Flag
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Not sure if you're joking. Why do people do this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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I think you're spending $100 on something that will have no value to the recipient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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Diapers are really useful, but the idea of a diaper cake is really gross. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:18 PM Flag
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You get $10 worth of diapers and $10 worth of pacificers and other junk stacked in a cheesy cake shape for which the purchaser spent $100. Just give me $100 worth of diapers if you want to give diapers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:34 PM Flag
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+1000. Give her a $100 gift certificate to diapers.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Memorial Day menu? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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BBQ chicken, filet mignon, calamari, plenty of varieties of homeade salad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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Add seared tuna [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] If you go to a dinner party at a home or restaurant, do you care whether you are seated near your husband - next to him or across from him - or are you fine being seated away from each other? The etiquette rule forever was never seat married people together, but a lot of people now get upset if not seated by their spouse. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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I love sitting away from him - we each get to talk to new people. It's more fun [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:09 PM Flag
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Yes. This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:11 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Unless you don't know anyone at all, I think it is totally fine to be seated apart. I mean, you see him enough - isn't it nice to talk to other people for a change?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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I live with him, we don't need to sit together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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I don't have a preference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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always near each other! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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Why??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:07 PM Flag
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That's what we do, everyone I know does this. I've been married for 8 years norm for us! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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What's with the exclamation points? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Codependency is really exciting! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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I love you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:39 PM Flag
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What happens if you aren't sat together? Seating arrangements are the host's perogative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:39 PM Flag
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Do you bring him along on girls nights out too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:13 PM Flag
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No silly, but you sound jealous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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No, I find women like you annoying. You aren't in high school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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LOL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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Together if newlyweds. Don't put other people's children in between them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:07 PM Flag
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I've been married for 8 years hardly newlyweds. Cocktail parties and get togethers are when we mingle separate but sit down dinner we seat next to each other. Original poster are you married? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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op: Yes, and my husband and I have absolutely no problems being seated apart, though of course we have fun as well if seated together. I admit to finding it a bit juvenile when people make a fuss about being seated apart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:41 PM Flag
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I don't mind either way but my friends wife (from Scandinavia) would get very upset if dh and dw were seated together. She even tried to rearrange our seats at a mutual friends wedding which I thought was nutso. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:13 PM Flag
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My spouse is a fabulous dinner guest and I'm a good sharer. Apart please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:08 PM Flag
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no problem sitting away from each other but agree, lots of people would not be comfortable with this arrangement and get upset [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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i would be one of those people. i like being seated next to my husband and would feel miffed at the arrangement forcing me to talk to people i may not feel comfortable with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:18 PM Flag
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It's a dinner, not an orgy. You can't make small talk for 2 hours? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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Upset? Are they 12? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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I defer to the host's preference on this one. If left to our own devices, we'll sit together for dinner, but mingle separately during cocktail hour. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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I prefer sitting next to my husband, but maybe that's because we're newlyweds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:30 PM Flag
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I think people who get upset about not being sat together are freakish. What is there to get upset about? It's not like your spouse is at someone else's dinner party or even at another table. They are like 10 feet from you. What do these people do in social situations where there spouse is not there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Cry and act sullen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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We'd be totally fine sitting apart. that way we can compare notes later about the interesting things we talked about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to use a surrogate for my next child to avoid the discomfort and physical consequences of pregnancy and birth. I have no health issues. Do you think it is weird/wrong, or do you think it is normal? 57 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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Wrong and illegal in NY state and many others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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np-Illegal? Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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NNP: I have no idea why it is illegal in NY, but an acquaintance of mine is using a surrogate in FL because of this issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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Officially because it is contrary to to public policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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really? can you link to something that proves it is illegal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:18 PM Flag
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You do know what the google is right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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np-Illegal? Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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I know many people with fertility issues who used one, so probably the is a way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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It's probably illegal if you have no health problems to justify it. I know in Europe it is that way too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:06 PM Flag
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Depends on the country. For instance in Italy and France it is completely illegal for anyone in any circumstance. More a well but I'm too lazy to look this us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:19 PM Flag
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if you have the money, go for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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How old are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:57 PM Flag
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30 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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Honestly I think it means you are selfish and vain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:00 PM Flag
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Yes, very strange. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:06 PM Flag
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This is obviously a theoretical post based on a post this morning. That's cool, but don't try to pretend you're actually thinking of doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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Seriously, OP has no idea why the original woman chose a surrogate. There are a number of horrific genetic diseases she may be a carrier for that require a surrogate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:00 PM Flag
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Wouldn't that be an issue of the egg/sperm since they provide the DNA, rather than the carrier? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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Not in the case of an autoimmunue disease that can cause severe clotting, or opposite blood type or lupus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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Ahh OK that makes sense. I was thinking more in terms of genetic issues with the baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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So why should she pass those genes on exactly??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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I am! I considered it even before the birth of my db, and now that I know what it involves I am seriously thinking about it. Of course this posting is inspired by the previous poster, but the idea was there before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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You are selfish and not ready to have children if this is your main concern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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I have one child, and I enjoy being his mother enough to want another one. This has nothing to do with pregnancy which I detested and would very much like to avoid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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Then adopt or suck it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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+1000. If you want a biological baby badly enough, you should be willing to actually carry and bear it yourself. I don't have a problem with women with health issues doing this, but it just seems selfish otherwise. I have a friend who is using a surrogate because she doesn't want to deal with pregnancy or weight gain, and honestly I have lost some respect for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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+ a million. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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Not sure I would call it "normal", and I would not do it if I did not have health reasons to do it. But to each her own, I suppose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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I think if you can't handle the discomforts of pregnancy, you won't be able to handle a child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:06 PM Flag
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I disagree with this. I am the poster from the original thread about my co-worker announcing her surrogate pregnancy. I dont think it makes a woman a "bad" mom or whatever. My mom carried me and it was a difficult pregnancy. She had terrible morning sickness and delayed labor (almost 48 hours from the time she started dilating/her water broke to my delivery). She is a terrific mom thoug, I could not have had a better childhood. She was there for me and still is, and has always been my best friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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OR I don't think using a surrogate makes someone a bad mother. I think someone who will use a surrogate for non medical reasons likely isn't very good at things like delaying gratification, or putting someone's needs ahead of your own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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Perfectly normal. We all do it. (Come on. What a fake post!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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OK, it is not fake. Pregnancy sucks (and I had an uneventful pregnancy). Why is it so strange to want to avoid it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:06 PM Flag
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make sure the surrogate doesn't decide to keep your baby. also will dh be willing to save some money and impregnate her the old fashioned way? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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Are you serious? Lol, I want my child, not somebody else's ... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:08 PM Flag
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I used a surrogate for my third child for medical reasons and I would much rather have carried her in my own body. Trust me, having a surrogate isn't something one should do, unless it's for their or their baby's health. When third DD was born, I didn't feel the strong instantaneous bond that I felt with my first two DC with her. She's three now and now I love all my children equally, but with my first two, the love and bond was already there, because I'd already carried them and been taking care of them in a sense for nine months. Having the surrogate herself involved is very stressful as well. I was always worried about what she was eating, if she was taking her vitamins, or doing anything that could hurt my baby. She had a boyfriend who she fought a lot with and I went to her apartment one time and they were screaming at each other. Not the environment I wanted my unborn child in, but I really had no control over it at that point. Carry the baby yourself, it honestly makes everything so much easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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np: Thank you for this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:16 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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and how do you know she wasn't drinking or doing drugs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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I don't. She seemed like a very nice girl when I met her, they do a drug test on her before they implant the embryos, but you still never know. It's a risk you shouldn't take unless you have to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:30 PM Flag
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agreed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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sounds like that Tina Fey, Baby Mama movie!!! Oh my goodness! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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An acquaintance of mine used a surrogate, who was a mother with young DCs of her own trying to make extra $$ to support her family, and the surrogate died of complications related to the delivery. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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The blood is on your friends hands. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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Phomy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:17 PM Flag
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Weird as hell. If you can't be bothered to gestate your own kids, you don't sound like much of a mother. Poor dcs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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Adopt a child in need of a good home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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eh, don't listen to all these people. Being pregnancy is no walk in the park and if I could have done a surrogate for second baby, I would have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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So you should rent out someone else's womb? Do you care about the other woman at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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Hello some people love being pregnant and / or need the money. Why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Some people need the money so they become prostitutes, sell their internal organs, send their children into the sex trade or blind and dismembered them to be become beggars. Are those okay too because hey, they do need the money! And no matter how much a woman likes being pregnant studies have shown surrogates to have negative psychological impact. But hey, sex workers must like sex too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:38 PM Flag
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I think you should do what is good for you. Keep in mind, however, that your dc will one day ask you why she/he was born in that manner, while her/his sibling was not. BTW, we have a do born through surrogacy, done out of medical necessity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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ds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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If I had the money and foresight I would've done this myself. 2 pregnancies killed my body, I absolutely hated being pregnant and labor is something I'm happy to erase from memory. But that's just me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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Fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] NYC Mayor: Anthony Weiner officially joined the race today. Does he beat Quinn in the primary? Do Thompson, De Blasio, or Liu have a chance at all or should they drop out? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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I'd NEVER vote for the Weiner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:54 PM Flag
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+ 1000. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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Henry Francis for Mayor!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:55 PM Flag
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haha. He is good looking. I wonder if the actor who plays him is gay. If so he should run and then he can beat Christine Quinn. He's sort of got an Anderson Cooper thing going on and everyone loves him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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I prefer Jack Donaghy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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im voting for the guliani guy - dont even know his name. the supermarket guy is a loose cannon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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+1, i think his name is lohta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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I'm ashamed to admit it, but I will probably vote for him. He was a weiner, for sure, but I like what he did for his constituents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:09 PM Flag
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I love how Weiner keeps saying he'll never stop fighting for those of us in the Middle Class, etc. That dude folded like a cheap card table 'cause of pictures of him in his tighty whities. Give me DeBlasio! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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this x10000. I might have sat on the sidelines before, but now I'll actively campaign for DeBlasio. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:37 PM Flag
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This is great news for Liu and Thompson. For the others, not so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:11 PM Flag
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I think Liu has a chance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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NFW! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Do all the NYC department stores charge to do makeup? Was in Bloomies yesterday and I had to agree to buy $85 in products before they'd do it. I always buy makeup as compensation for doing a makeup job anyway but I never heard of a flat fee. Is this the going rate? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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Nope. What counter did you ask, maybe that's their policy. I've gone to Saks many times before and they do it for free. Of course they always assume you'll purchase something but that is the whole point, no? BG also does it. You just call the counter and make an appointment. last time it was for a party and I went to the Dolce and Gabanna counter with an actual beauty ad from their cosmetics line ripped out of a magazine. I bought a lipgloss and tipped the women who did it $20 and all was well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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Thanks. It was Laura Mercier counter. Maybe other makeup lines at Bloomies don't charge. I don't usually use this line and thought I'd try it but was surprised at the charge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:11 PM Flag
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It’s probably like every good free service. People abuse it and they start to charge. Ever been there on a Saturday evening? It’s full of young girls getting their make up done for their evening out and then not buying anything or making tiny purchases. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:08 PM Flag
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I would honestly prefer to pay a flat fee than be pressed to buy products. On the few occasions I had it done at dept stores, they put so many products on my face, just to offer a broad range of products for me to buy. They used 2 pencils and 4 different boxes of eye-shadows on my eyes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:09 PM Flag
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ITA. Also, they have piled on their primers and other products. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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The makeup artists generally are not supposed to charge except for special events where the charge is clearly stated in the PR materials. But some do because a) they feel the clientele can afford it or b) they are tired of women coming in to get a free makeup application and not buy anything. I understand their frustration, but it's not acceptable to charge when it's not company policy. If someone wants to charge you, ask for the cosmetics department manager to confirm that's the policy. Of course, that may make the application awkward if you do that, so I'd leave and call later to see if that's the policy. If they see you leaving, they may change their minds about the upfront charge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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At Bergdorf I've gotten makeup done at the Laura Mercier counter and there was no requirement to buy (although in both instances I did buy because the makeup artist worked wonders :)) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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if you to the MAC stores, they only charge you $50 and you can just buy all $50 in products. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you ever send DC to a non- TT boarding school? DD will be starting eighth grade next year at a SS school and wants to apply to boarding schools for ninth grade. I have been told by moms at our school who have DDs who already went through the BS process to apply broadly to boarding school- apply to top boarding schools, but also a few that are a little easier to get into (Taft, Loomis Chaffee). IMO, the only way I could feel good about sending DD to boarding school is if I know that she will be getting an amazing education and have opportunities there which she wouldn't have here. I don't see a reason to send her to a boarding school such as Taft, when she could get the same education at BWL and stay in the city. I told DH this and that maybe we should just apply to the best boarding schools on our list- Andover, Exeter, Deerfield,St. Paul's School, Choate, and Groton, then apply to Dalton, Trinity, and some other coeds in the city as backups. DH went to boarding school and said I didn't understand and that he still wants DD to apply to lower tier boarding schools. Am I wrong? What do you guys think? Please, no comments on "How could you send your DD away to boarding school. She wants it, not so much me. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.22.13, 03:56 PM Flag
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The education at the "non-TT" (a term which I loathe) is just as good as at the schools you mention. It is also about the entire experience. Believe me, no one (except on this board) sits around judging you if you want to Taft vs. Hotchkiss. Apply to a variety. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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Meant "went to Taft.." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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I have thought about this too. Unless dc had academic issues (and I see no reason in your post to believe this), I would think hard about moving from a more academic to a less academic environment (regardless of whether boarding or otherwise). On your list were basicallt TT NYC and boarding schools. You also said you were applying to "other coeds in the city" as back-ups. Therefore, I would think you'd also apply to a couple of boarding schools as back-ups. I suspect it's your slight adversity to boarding school that is making you not want to do that. Frankly, your dd is applying to over a dozen schools. If she and dh want to add a couple of boarding school back ups, that does make sense. With that said, I'm with you, I'd send dd to Exeter without hesitation, but I'm not sure that non-TT boarding school is the route I'd want for dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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I feel the same way about NYC privates. Dd is in prek and honestly I will only send to private if she gets into one of the higher tier schools. No way am I spending 40k a year for a mediocre private. Dh went through NYC public school system and he is extremely successful so we have no issues with public options. I wonder how psd's feel when they hear this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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I worked at a non-TT boarding school. Not a chance in hell! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:15 PM Flag
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You have an amazing writing style :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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NP- How? Seems pretty average to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
[ - ] A couple of years ago I met and fell hard for a guy who had just been dumped by his live-in girlfriend of 5+ years. We had an instant connection, but after a few months said he wasn't ready for a relationship. A few months later, we ran into each other and briefly rekindled - but he still wasn't ready to be serious. Fast forward 1.5 years - we recently started talking again, and he says that although he has dated other people, his mind always comes back to me, and he is ready for a serious relationship. Would you give him another chance? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:56 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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Me either. Once yes, but two "not ready" -- nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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What if it just took the guy awhile and dating other people to realize that she was "the one"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:21 PM Flag
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if he realizes that, then leavve it up to him to make the moves to make it happen. But given the facts, No - I would just say "thanks but no thanks" and walk away. You dont have oodles of years to spend on a guy who thinks 'maybe' you are "the one". Screw that noise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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a dh: Another chance to be honest? What did he do wrong? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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Another chance at the relationship [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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pp: But he never had a chance at "the relationship." He said at the onset that he was not ready for a relationship. Instead of stringing you along he did what UBers often say the guy should do. He didn't waste your time while he dealt with his shit. I don't know the guy but if he is a decent guy I think he handled this well. See where it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:30 PM Flag
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I would. He was being honest before presumably, maybe he's ready now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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Yes but cautiously. Go on a date and take it from there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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+1 It's better that he was honest in the past than stringing you along when his heart was elsewhere. To me that speaks well for him. Sometimes it takes a very long time to get over someone. 1.5 years really isn't that long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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Nope. If he wasnt ready several months later, what makes you think he would be ready now? True love does NOT wait. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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Rubbish. Black and white thinking, magical thinking is delusional. Give him another chance if you like him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:39 PM Flag
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Yes, but would play it very, very cool with him. This would be his cue to really work hard at showing you he's interested and ready. One false move and I'd dump him immediately and this time, don't look back. I think chances are high he'll screw this up and he still isn't ready... but hey, you could have fun for a few dates finding out, right? Just do NOT get your heart involved until you're 100% sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] It turns out that a lot of families moving to Forest Hills Gardens are coming from Manhattan and Brooklyn. I only experienced that from looking around at real estate (thinking of moving from the UWS). Do you know anyone who has made that move? My experience has been that people don't even consider it because it's in Queens. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:56 PM Flag
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We are moving there at end of the school year - cant wait to live in a Tudor home with a backyard! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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Sounds fantastic. Where do you live now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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well apparently they do consider it. aren't the schools great? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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their loss - plenty of nice places to live in Queens [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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We're considering it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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FHG has everything going for it - absolutely gorgeous, top schools, dynamic community and 20 minute commute to Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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DH really wanted to move there, I didn't. It is really small, fewer than 100 homes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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Did you mean fewer than 1,000? There are well over 100 homes. There are over 100 attached houses on Burns Street alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:14 PM Flag
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i was thinking of the "real" FHG, i.e., detached homes. and to the above poster, it is absolutely not a 20 minute commute, once you are on the subway it is 30 minutes minimum, plus it's a haul getting to austin street. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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it is a trek if you walk from FHG to Austin Street subway to catch the E/F. However, if you take the LIRR, its a much shorter commute. (like 20 min to Penn). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:28 PM Flag
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I was really interested, it seems awesome. My born and raised NYer DH refused to even look because he refuses to move to Queens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:17 PM Flag
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Living in queens is like living in New Jersey. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:25 PM Flag
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lol, my DH from Queens can't underatand why anyone would move to NJ when you could move to Queens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:22 PM Flag
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I am with your DH on this. If you move to NJ, particularly areas by the GW Bridge or way south by the Outerbanks, you have to pay tolls to cross bridges and deal with insane traffic. With Queens, you only need to deal with the 59th St bridge or cut through Brooklyn via the Bklyn bridge to accesss Howard Beach and other southern sections...if youre willing to pay - the midtown Tunnel. Queens is a cheaper for that reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:34 PM Flag
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Yea like Lodi and Garfield. Not where people from the city move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:39 PM Flag
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I was born and raised in Queens, and now live in Long Island. When I was looking to buy my first property after graduate school in my late 20s, I was seriously looking at Forest Hills and FH Gardens. FH gardens is amazing. I envy ANYONE who can afford to buy there. The homes are mostly Tudors in excellent shape and gorgeous. The demographics are wonderfully mixed (granted, the ones I have seen bought/sold lately are by Asians), and the location is fantastic. You also get guaranteed parking because most streets are "by permit" only. It is one of the best kept secrets of Queens. Another section that is also very appealing is Malba in Whitestone. I wish I could afford FH Gardens, but the prices are insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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