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[ - ] What is the normal life span of a condom? I'm asking because last night I was changing the sheets on our bed and I noticed a box of condoms in DH's travel bag, with one condom missing. He and I haven't used condoms in ages. I'm wondering if this is from awhile ago, used by us. Or something to be concerned about. Sort of reeling. Thanks in advance... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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Look at the date on the box. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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isn’t the larger question why he’s traveling with condoms? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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Check the expiry date on the box (also on the condoms). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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why would he have them in his travel bag? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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something to be concerned about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] why on earth did I become a lawyer? I'm the least detail oriented person I know, and I'm also not all that organized. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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^ although I know the answer: I also lack creativity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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Are you me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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That's why you'll be a great partner and your associates can do the details and organization. Or maybe an absent-minded professor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] My DD is turning 16 and going out to eat this weekend with some friends. I will be paying for the group. Should I give her my CC, cash or a prepaid CC from drug store? I don't know exactly how much she will need. TIA 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Who is driving? Can you pay when you pick her up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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good idea but I won't be driving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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Do you have a reservation for them? Call now and tell them you want to pay by telephone. If you have a budget, tell them to cut the kids off once they get to your max less 20% for tip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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Or she could call restaurant and ask if she can pay over the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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American Express has debit cards for teens. It's too late for this weekend but for the future. You can add money online and monitor spending. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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I'd get an Amex gift card for $100 more than the most you think she'll need. If the restaurant is on the ball, she might have trouble using your CC OR she could rack up a massive bill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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This. I would not trust a 16 year old with my CC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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cash and a fanny pack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O If I am paying $5000+ a month for a "luxury" apartment, I expect to be able to watch TV whenever I want or have my kid walk around the room at 6AM when he wakes up. If I can't because the walls are so thin my neighbors hear everything, then it isn't a luxury apartment building. It's an overpriced tenement. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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You can be asked not to have TV on loud certain hours, but certainly your kid can walk around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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Are you me? We are currently involved in a knock-down drag-out fight with our downstairs neighbors and management company over my 32 pound DS' "heavy footfall." Uh, he's walking in his apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] My 4 yo tells me he wants to be bad. He says that he is a good boy at school but at home he wants to be a bad boy. He doesn't listen and fights me on everything. Did he come up with this all on his own? Why is he saying he is good at school but not at home? Do you think someone put this idea in his head? nanny? teacher? Is this normal (not the bad behavior but contrasting home to school). 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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The obsession with being "bad" is totally normal at this age. They also love the concept of "jail." You can joke with him about all the things that happen to "bad" boys in your home and try to be as funny and ridiculous as possible. You can also jail him in bed with snuggles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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It's normal. Being good at school all day is tiring and he wants to cut loose where it is safe to do so. Don't blame nanny! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I get this. It is the actual summary coming from the 4 yo that sounds odd. His total awareness of being good at school and bad at home. Do you think this is normal for him to be so aware of it rather than it being instinctive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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THIS. he is, in his own words, expressing that he feels comfortable cutting loose and letting it all out at home. totally normal. that’s what home/save haven is for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] DB is 9 mos old and goes to daycare 2x/week. Still BF'ing. If I don't pump during the two days she's gone, will my supply go way down? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Your supply is probably pretty established at this point but everyone is different. Don't you get uncomfortable? Why not just pump at least once to be safe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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OP: I do get a little uncomfortable, but I just really hate pumping [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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Depends on how many hours. If only a few hours just breastfed when she gets home. Otherwise you will have to pump for each time you would normally breastfeed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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probably. my supply dropped anyway even though I was pumping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Any St. Bart's parents on? Looking for feedback on the experience and also on admissions process... Thx! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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DC was in the playgroup there a couple of years ago. I really liked the families in the group and kept in touch with some of the moms. We moved during the playgroup year so did not end up attending the preschool (we are uptown) but the families I know are happy there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Poll- how many of you have 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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Ordered Holiday cards [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Nope. Need to get on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Have always gotten Tinyprints. quality gone a little downhill. any others worth a consideration? Minted? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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I usually order from Crane's. Photo card. Always take the pic of the kids the weekend before Thanksgiving and try to do cards over Thanksgiving and get them mailed Dec 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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started holiday shopping [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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We won't do that until the week between Xmas and NYE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking to catch a flight on a Thursday morning around 10am with little kids and wondering if a taxi from the UWS to Newark would be a lot worse than going to La Guardia time and cost-wise? The La Guardia flight is more expensive, so would prefer Newark, but not if the travel to Newark at that time would be a real pain 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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Always go EWR over LGA. So much easier. Any chance you can take NJTransit/Airtrain? It's the best - I only have one little DC, but this is what we always do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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Thanks. So do you mean LGA is a more difficult airport to navigate security etc..., or harder to get to from the UWS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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NJ transit wouldn't really make it worthwhile - me, 3 little kids and luggage puts it in the too hard basket :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Gotcha. I can see that! LGA is the most annoying, crappiest airport IMO. I love EWR - very easy to navigate, seems like less delays than LGA, etc. (I fly a lot for work, and will always go from EWR if I can). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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^I would just leave yourself a lot of extra time in the morning in case of traffic - but early headed out to NJ it shouldn't be bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I use to do NJTransit/Airtrain with no children too but would not recommend it with little kids and all the bags. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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no way in hell re going to EWR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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I personally like Newark, but I live on the far east UES so LGA is significantly closer. I think for you, time-wise is probably similar. I would just keep an eye on traffic on the Hudson crossings - sometimes, the longer route of going GWB or Holland saves you time over getting stuff in the mess than can be the Lincoln tunnel. But at 8am, you really are going against the traffic regardless. taxi will cost more to Newark. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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hmmm, so one yes for EWR, one no. Any other takers? JFK is an option too I have just seen on the flight schedule..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I like going to EWR from the west side. It's more miles but you move so much more quickly and at that time of day will be doing a reverse commute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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EWR - use Holland Tunnel to 1,9 - at that time of day you should not hit traffic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] I am drinking a liter bottle of diet coke- guess my weight? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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250lbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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no, but that stuff is toxic and will slowly kill you. signed, former diet coke addict. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:38 PM Flag
[ - ] mom of MS or HS kids- what things are you glad you did with DC in elementary? and what things would you do differently if you cud do it all over again- Academitcs, and non academics and in terms of values etc-TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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We encouraged her to read everything she could get her hands on, and I see a definite reflection in her PSAT/SAT scores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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This is a hard question for me. The things I was most unhappy with were the types of friends and boyfriends she chose to associate with. I'm not sure if we moved or sent her away she wouldn't have just found the same types of kids. She was always attracted to the flames. Academically she was always fine, and she ended up going to her 1st choice college in the end, so I'm not sure I would go back and change anything. Even though it was literally exhausting to raise her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
[ - ] In college I interviewed with family who had a child that shared my first name. The mom hired me, but told me I would have to come up with a new name for the family to call me because it would be t oconfusing having two "Alisons". Turned that one down immediately! There are so many crazy women in this city! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Probably just wanted you to be called Ali or something while you're working. Don't see that as a big deal. Not like you're Alison and she suggested you be called Zoe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Nope she wouldn't allow any nick names of my regular name because that would be to confusing too. She suggested calling me Katherine. WTF [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Now that's weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Anybody ever try celexa for depression or anxiety? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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There's definitely at least one person here who loves it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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really? good to know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you ladies know of any sales jobs that are lucrative? I'd prefer something where I'd get to travel a bit. TIA! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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Pharmaceutical rep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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Professional drug dealer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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np: Hijack: I think they might be one and the same. I finally got my Adderall refilled today. A poster said o me "Congrats! You're addicted to amphetamines" when I complained about not being able to get it refilled on Tuesday, and I had the sinking suspicion today she might be right ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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np: What did you say to your psychiatrist to get i? I think I need it too. I'm constantly late for things, losing keys, disorganized, last minute doer, always living in a state of frantic panic when I have to transition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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I've been on it since high school, but I would try just talking to your doctor about your concerns. If these really are things you're worried about, medication will help, but they won't fix everything, so he/she can also give you some tips on how to increase productivity. Ex- My Adderall isn't shutting off UB and doing my work for me right now :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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you can stop if you really want to. It has been done. How many mgs are you on? and how long have you been taking it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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You have no idea what you are talking about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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What kind of experience do you need? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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NP - this is not lucrative at all these days and jobs are disappearing. All pharma cos are downsizing and shifting to contract sales orgs which don't pay anything. Technically, these aren't even "sales" jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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NNP - seriously! Go read Cafepharma for a bit and then decide if it a good field to go into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Hedge fund marketing. Don't be put off by the word marketing, it is a sales position. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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Worker's Comp, believe it or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Have some down time, please recommend a good movie I can watch on Netflix 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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The Immigrant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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serving life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Adore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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north and south (bbc version) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Not a movie but love Call the Midwife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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Does it have to be on Netflix? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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yes that's what I have [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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And you wouldn't be willing to use any of the free streaming websites, like tubeplus or losmovies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Little White Lies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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not sure if it's on Netflix but recently watched "Million Dollar Arm" - uplifting and there's Jon Hamm :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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Ella Enchanted if you want something light hearted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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thanks all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
[ - ] I can understand worried about DCs growing up and out but...I've told my ds, just turned 14, that when he graduates from high school he is get a job, find a room-mate, and move out into a (family owned) apartment. 57 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:52 PM Flag
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Not go to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:53 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:53 PM Flag
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He is applying to all the early college high schools so he will get an AA degree. He will get a 2 year break from school, which is what he wants out-of this deal, to work and figure out life a bit. If at that point he wants to transfer his credits to a 4 year college, anywhere in the US, we will pay for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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I would hate to think where I would be if I lived the life I wanted at 14. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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The 2 year break from school begins at 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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Missing my point. You are saying this is what he wants NOW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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OP. No, I'm say 1) 2 yrs accelerated hs. 2) AA degree, technical field 3) job 4) find room-mate + get the prize - 2 bedroom apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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And I am saying that AA in Tech Field may not come close to meeting standards of selective schools and may not be best for him. Additionally, schools that give merit based aid generally only give to freshman not transfers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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OP. I actually don't care about that. He could start from scratch on a four year degree. He doesn't need merit aid - most aid these days is need-based. Maybe he will even establish himself as an independent student. Look I'm not trying to convince anyone else to do this. Didn't Michael Dell go ahead to school to please his parents and secretly run the business from his dorm room. It takes all types to make the world go 'round. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Sigh. You are missing my point. Many scholarships are only available to Freshman. Merit, or no need, scholarships are not about being independent. Many schools want to up their average SATs. Yes, it takes all kids, but YOU are making this decision based on 14 YO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Yes, and Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard. But is your son these people, or just a nerdy misfit who doesn't like other kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I would be careful with the "let's give a family-owned apartment to two 18-year-old guys, I'm sure this experience can only be good" approach. Just saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:56 PM Flag
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No one is giving. They will pay rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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What are you going to do if they come up short sometimes? I'm just trying to envision what jobs they're going to have at age 18 that pay them enough for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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The room-mate won't necessarily be 18. Why would he (or she). I am an experienced landlord - I don't need their money. The worst thing would be for my son to have to move back into our home - from his point of view. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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I never wanted to move back home either ... that's why I went away to school and stayed there. I don't understand why your son can't go away to school and live in the dorms/apartment there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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He wants a break from 'schooling'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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I totally agree. Those boys are going to name it the Pussy Pad or Fuck Flat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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Like his dorm room or off campus apartment wouldn't be the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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Dorms have curfew and landlords have more rules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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No they don't. None of my dorms ever had a curfew. And my off-campus apartments had no "rules". Did you go to school in the middle east? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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Close, midwest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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I also went to school in the midwest. Did you go to a small girls school or something? I went to a large private uni, and it was pretty much a free-for-all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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If you own the apt. how does that make him independent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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I won't be providing anything for him but the lease and the keys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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What kind of job can a high-school graduate get that would pay market rate for NYC rent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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He will have an AA in a technical field. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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He will pay 25% of his monthly full-time salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:04 PM Flag
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What if he doesn't want to live in your apartment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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He does..heck he wants to buy the building from us eventually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:05 PM Flag
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And won't all of his friends be away at school? Or do you live in an area where many graduates don't go to college and/or live at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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We live in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:09 PM Flag
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Okay. But his high school friends will be elsewhere, no? Even if they go to NYU or Columbia, won't they live near the campus? And everyone else will be in different cities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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So? Social media has made proximity irrelevant to this generation. My son has friends all over US and Canada. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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And that's a little sad. Don't you want him to cultivate friendships with real people in real life? But honestly, it also sounds like he might be a little Aspie and not so good with social skills. In that case, a real university setting could be too stressful for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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What age-appropriate roommate is an 18-year old boy going to find. Everyone else his age will be at college. I appreciate the sentiment, but it may not be possible with his age cohort. Also, those early college high schools don't really give that many credit for a real university. He will likely still need to attend for 4 years, and now he'll be 2 years older than everyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:57 PM Flag
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Which is exactly what I want. And yes, I have rentals and have rented to various young people so I don't think that will be a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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np: fwiw, plenty of people do not go straight to college after HS and plenty of others live at home or in apartments w rommates and attend local community college or state schools. you have to braoden your horizons a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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OP. Yes, thank you. This is a good path, particularly for a certain kind of young man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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A young man who is not that motivated and can easily move into the family business, so does not need to find a job outside of mom/dad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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This plan has him excited. The prospect of four years of high school does not. This is a drop-off prevention tactic, I will admit, for a very very bright boy (think of the tumblr founder, David Karp). We do not have a family business - just a small rental property which he has expressed interest in owning one day. Nothing wrong with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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I knew it. Aspie, and socially awkward. Hopefully he will be the next David Karp, otherwise you have to start teaching him social skills now, especially if you will be retarding his social-emotional growth by keeping away from his appropriate age cohort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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You realize thousands of kids around NYC are also doing early college, right? His social skills are fine, and we live in an areas with tons of college aged kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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i don't think that's the only kind of kid who doesn't go to college right out of HS. in fact, i think many kids, boys in particular, are better served NOT going to college at 18yo - they just aren't ready for it. sometimes, you have to work the kind of job you can get with just a HS diploma (or AA degree) to really value the opportunities that college will give you - and not jus the opportunities to party at the frat house, get laid and post it all online. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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LOL @ (family owned) apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:01 PM Flag
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I think this is an excellent idea as long as he truly has to pay his way. Doing well in college requires maturity and this is a good place to start. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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harvard university published an article recently describing the benefits of a "gap year" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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Op. Link please? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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He has no incentive to get his own place. He has it too good at 25% rate. Let him live with you, save money to get his own place. He will care for it more if it's his own plan and home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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He will have an incentive once the percentage of his salary is great enough to equal or exceed market rent or when we have him move out b/c there's a younger sibling who is ready to take over the apartment, which ever comes first. I don't mind if he or other dc lives there indefinitely...that's why I bought the building. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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I know you want to help your kids, and you think your are making them independent, but you are infantalizig them and it will be a lot harder for them to do things -- like finding a job on their own, taking care of themselves -- as they get older. You are not helping them leave the nest, you have just given them another nest and allowed yourself to continue to control their lives. This will not end well for them and their future relationships. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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+1 Another nest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Not exactly. We've already taught him to grocery shop, cook for himself and others, clean, recycle, do laundry, iron, take the subway and many other things. I intend to see him maybe once a week. So he will have a " rent-controlled " apartment so what. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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Who makes solid plans for the future with a 14 year old boy? Are you aware of how undeveloped his prefrontal cortex is?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:21 PM Flag
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He's excited, and motivated by this plan. So if he decides to go straight to college and can make it happen I would be fine. But he wants to take a break from school very soon and I don't want him to be an unskilled h.s. drop-out with failure to launch. This plan is no more solid than another families plan to do Stuy and then HYP lol. He loves this idea - my unmotivated 14 year old boy (can anyone relate to that) is excited about school, working and life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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Is this really all about your fear that he will not go to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Serious question. Would you rather have a video gam playing, grad degree loafer dh, who was an excellent and attentive father, home every night, and went out only 3-5 times a month with his male friends, or have a high earning dh who is hardly home, possibly cheating? 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:52 PM Flag
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those options both sound terrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:54 PM Flag
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If you had to choose which would you prefer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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probably #2 but only if I didn't really love him and wouldn't care about cheating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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You would have dc with someone you didn't love? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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You must be new here, welcome to UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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Those are the choices? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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Yes, between those two. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:55 PM Flag
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The loafer has no income? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Yes he does but far less than he could be earning. He's a loafer not a deadbeat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Does video-game playing dad have a job? Or is he a SAHD. If he's a SAHD, then I choose option C) sperm bank and have kids on my own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Or even D) No children, just cats [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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No, he has a job but it's not high earning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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Is "not high-earning" like $40k, or like $80k? If it's $40k, he may as well be a SAHD, so we revert back to Option C. if it's $80k, my next questions are 1) how is he in bed?, and 2) can I keep my real life job and salary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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It's between 40 and 80 and he's the best ever in bed. He's a little chubby, less selfish, will please and last for at least an hour. Yes you can keep your life and salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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^^Oh I just read above that you mean "loafer" like he loafs around. I thought you were referring to his shoes, as in he dresses well. Option C. I'd rather just have kids by myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:07 PM Flag
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(long pause.) Really? Who thinks loafer means well dressed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:11 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, one of my talents is usually interpreting very poorly-constructed sentences. In rare cases (such as this), I over-interpret and mangle a perfectly fine sentence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:13 PM Flag
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If you're going to make a bitchy comment why even reply? I was asking if anyone else thinks loafer means well dressed. That too must have been a poorly constructed sentence. Seeing as how I don't have proper grammar I must be of no use to you and you must be moving along now to better things. Bye. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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You would rather have kids on your own, than a low-earning/SAHD? That makes no sense. A man has no value -- even if he takes care of the house, kids, you -- if he doesn't earn any money? But a SAHM is TOTALLY the opposite? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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I have no disrespect towards SAHMs, but I don't want to be a SAHM and I wouldn't want to be married to a SAHD. I once dated a real estate heir who lived off of his trust fund and played tennis all day. I quickly began to loathe him for his lack of ambition. I would have no respect for a low-ambition husband, even if finances weren't an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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But was he still a good dad? It's one thing to play tennis all day, but another to always have time for your kids between serves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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plus video games and food cost less than daycare. wake up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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especially 24/7 daycare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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I have never been presented with a choice like this in IRL. Maybe I would pick the nicer one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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neither [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:58 PM Flag
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Former, but the women who get into #2, typically know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 03:59 PM Flag
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Depends. What is the wife's financial situation? Career? Family money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:00 PM Flag
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This. If his contribution to the family is 50% income and 50% household help, than that is roughly the same as a DH who contributes 90% income and 10% household help. Do you consider a man a loafer because he doesn't work 80+ hours a week even if he's a devoted father? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:03 PM Flag
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i would prefer A and that’s pretty much what i’ve got [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:02 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:06 PM Flag
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Same here and I love him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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High earner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:10 PM Flag
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Sell your soul to Satan while you're at it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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Have you met men that play video games? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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You really think a practical marriage means selling your soul to Satan? Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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Cheating is never OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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neither. With those choices, I'd rather be single. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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I'm married to the 2nd one. Once you get used to the other parts, the money is nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.30.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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