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05.18.13, 09:58 PM
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Nothing. Get some perspective.
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05.18.13, 10:00 PM
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no something must be done or said
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05.18.13, 10:29 PM
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I hope you don't use public restrooms. Because if you do, your nanny pooping in your toilet is the last thing you should be concerned about.
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05.18.13, 09:54 PM
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I would never use a public toilet ever! This is part of the reason, I am so upset by my nanny using mine!
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05.18.13, 09:58 PM
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You need to ease up.
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05.18.13, 09:59 PM
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No I don't! We all have our pet peeves and I am the one paying her $19/hr
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05.18.13, 10:07 PM
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Fine, don't ease up. You're going to be upset a lot. It's your life
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05.18.13, 10:09 PM
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Oh you're nothing like Fiji mom
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05.18.13, 10:13 PM
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Get therapy for your OCD.
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05.18.13, 10:00 PM
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I would slap her 20 times until she understands she should crap outside in the woods.
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05.18.13, 09:55 PM
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OP-- I never said woods. I have a lovely guest bath
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05.18.13, 10:14 PM
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I feel bad for you nanny. You seem like a crazy boss. Signed nanny.
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05.18.13, 10:21 PM
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You sound crazy.
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05.18.13, 09:56 PM
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Nanny here: Did she have a reason? I used to use the master bath when DB napped because the guest bath was next to baby's room and would wake her.
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05.18.13, 09:57 PM
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there is no reason to use my bathroom ever. The guest bath is further away from db's room
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05.18.13, 10:05 PM
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NP- know your place nanny
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05.18.13, 10:09 PM
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Other nanny here: Agree with this.
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05.18.13, 10:22 PM
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Was she drinking Fiji water and wearing your sweater too?
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05.18.13, 10:01 PM
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op- shut up and don't lump me with those crazy women
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05.18.13, 10:02 PM
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Then don't act like one.
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05.18.13, 10:03 PM
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Ha ha from your responses, you sound right at home with those crazy women.
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05.18.13, 10:06 PM
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i think it is a little strange - she really has no reason to be in the master bedroom area at all, does she?
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05.18.13, 10:02 PM
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+1
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05.18.13, 10:09 PM
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op- right... right??????????? She cleans up but I don't see why she would ever use the master bath
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05.18.13, 10:10 PM
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THIS
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05.18.13, 10:05 PM
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+2
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05.18.13, 10:11 PM
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+3
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05.18.13, 10:18 PM
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+4
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05.18.13, 10:13 PM
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+4
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05.18.13, 10:19 PM
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+5
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05.18.13, 10:16 PM
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NP - I agree and that would really irritate me too, OP. but realistically speaking - what can you say to her without sounding crazy? Maybe keep the doors closed (To both the master bathroom and bedroom) and hope she gets the hint?
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05.18.13, 10:16 PM
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I saw the beginning of this movie called The Help, and they had this great idea to build a separate bathroom just for nannies or housekeepers!
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05.18.13, 10:06 PM
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ILY
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05.18.13, 10:12 PM
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They could put it in the hallway and all the nannies and housekeepers could use it.
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05.18.13, 10:08 PM
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This would be handy when workmen have to use the bathroom too. I cringe when one asks to use mine and don't say you don't
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05.18.13, 10:10 PM
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Um, my super could use my bathroom if he wants and my husband fixes most things in our apartment or we have relatives who can. Being blue collar has perks.
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05.18.13, 10:13 PM
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NO ONE WANTS A WORKER IN THEIR BATHROOM
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05.18.13, 10:15 PM
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honestly this!
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05.18.13, 10:22 PM
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I don't care. They aren't sleeping in my bed. If I was that skeeved out I would break out the Clorox wipes.
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05.18.13, 10:17 PM
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people I pay should not make more work for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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05.18.13, 10:24 PM
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You sound nuts. I would never be so ungracious as to tell someone they couldn't use my bathroom. My mother raised me better than that.
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05.18.13, 10:21 PM
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What would the nanny do with DC when she went to the hallway bathroom? Leave them alone or take them with her?
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05.18.13, 10:18 PM
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She can pee before she starts her shift or after she leaves. Maybe a wee wee pad on the terrace?
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05.18.13, 10:15 PM
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Hmmmmmm ............. yes she will need to clean the terrace every day right before she goes or I would be skeeved
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05.18.13, 10:28 PM
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Not sure if this is fake or not but personally I would not go into someone's bedroom and use their private bathroom. Has nothing to do with being a nanny or just a guest. Just seems pretty nervy to me.
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05.18.13, 10:15 PM
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OP- right!!!!!!!!!!!! and I am so offended by the utter lack of respect
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05.18.13, 10:17 PM
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this
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05.18.13, 10:14 PM
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This. I work in a private home and even if you have reason to be in the master bathroom - no need to use it. It is private space and when there are guest baths available or bathrooms in public areas of the home, those are the ones to use
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05.18.13, 10:17 PM
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OP- thank you I am not crazy. You all obviously agree it is a severe boundary violation. WWYD?
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05.18.13, 10:21 PM
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Fake.
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05.18.13, 10:29 PM
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05.18.13, 09:51 PM
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i dont think so
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05.18.13, 09:57 PM
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Yes
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05.18.13, 09:52 PM
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Mohammed is.
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05.18.13, 09:53 PM
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Oh god,,,
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05.18.13, 09:55 PM
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Yup. All those Italians named Joey are Jewish.
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05.18.13, 09:56 PM
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No, but Yosef is (Anglicized to Joseph)
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05.18.13, 10:03 PM
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Sure. He was Benjamin's son, wasn't he?
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05.18.13, 09:58 PM
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It can be, but it isn't exclusively. It's in both the Old Testament and the new. Though, the Joseph in the new Testament (Jesus's step dad) was Jewish.
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05.18.13, 09:58 PM
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The Old Testament one must have been too.
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05.18.13, 10:00 PM
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Yes, his father Jacob was the first Jew.
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05.18.13, 10:01 PM
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My point was everyone in the Old Testament was Jewish. It was before Jesus.
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05.18.13, 10:02 PM
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Jacob was the founder of a whole new nation/thanks to the number of children he had/he was also known a Israel/but most of the time/his sons and his wives used to call him/DAD!
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05.18.13, 10:08 PM
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Not in my family. My ds is named after his great grandfather. We are catholic.
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05.18.13, 09:59 PM
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05.18.13, 09:39 PM
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he never put his hand on his ex wife.
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05.18.13, 09:33 PM
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What do you mean? did he hit you?
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05.18.13, 09:40 PM
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He hit you?
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05.18.13, 09:39 PM
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yes and no its not fake.
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05.18.13, 09:37 PM
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Why do you women have such little self respect? LEAVE HIM. If my husband ever laid a finger on me, I would be out the door before he could say a word.
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05.18.13, 09:45 PM
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ITA. Take pics of the bruises and get a divorce lawyer. See a doctor to document the bruises.
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05.18.13, 09:46 PM
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+1
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05.18.13, 09:42 PM
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We have DC i feel bad. I feel like my drinking caused all of this but yet if he truly loved me he would have not hit me or took out anger on me
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05.18.13, 09:48 PM
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Look. You need to understand this: NOTHING makes hitting/kicking acceptable. Nothing!
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05.18.13, 09:44 PM
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He said he was tired of my drinking and being woken up. I guess he has a point.
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05.18.13, 09:52 PM
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This is fake. No one is this stupid.
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05.18.13, 09:46 PM
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no this is not fake. Thanks for being so supportive.
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05.18.13, 09:54 PM
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It is NOT a reason to hit or kick you. And if you have a DC even more reason to leave.
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05.18.13, 10:03 PM
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fake.
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05.18.13, 09:42 PM
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There is not excuse for him to hit you saying this, I don't think there is an excuse for you to arrive to your home completely intoxicated.
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05.18.13, 09:37 PM
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I agree. I just feel so alone embarassed and feel resentment toward him. My body is aching from being pushed and kicked
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05.18.13, 09:39 PM
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Kicked? You need to leave him NOW.
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05.18.13, 09:45 PM
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Now, Are you sure he hit you ? Do you remember this ? Because if you were falling on floor you could easily had hit something a couple times. Has he hit you before ?
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05.18.13, 09:45 PM
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Yes he has hit me few times before when i was intoxicated.
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05.18.13, 09:56 PM
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Why do you drink ? This is crazy. Seek help.
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05.18.13, 09:53 PM
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Do you remember him hitting you?
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05.18.13, 09:39 PM
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yes i remember hi saying your a whore no good..I peeded on our living room floor and that made him rage more
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05.18.13, 09:46 PM
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peed) sorry
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05.18.13, 09:41 PM
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Oh God. Ok. you are out of control and so is he.
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05.18.13, 09:49 PM
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yes i do.
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05.18.13, 09:40 PM
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That's really scary. Do you not remember it happening?
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05.18.13, 09:39 PM
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Yes I peed on the living room and that is when he smacked me.
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05.18.13, 09:49 PM
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wow, marrying an alcoholic sucks, whether it's the female or the male
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05.18.13, 09:45 PM
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are you from a different country? why are you writing in broken english? fake.
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05.18.13, 09:46 PM
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+1
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05.18.13, 09:54 PM
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No from the USA. Thought i could express what happened on here it has been bothering me and i dont want to tell anyone.
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05.18.13, 09:56 PM
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Maybe she is drunk right now. By the way the fact that she is ESL doesn't mean her posts are fake. I am a ESL Mom myself.
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05.18.13, 09:50 PM
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No iam NOT drunk now. However iam in bed watching tv
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05.18.13, 09:57 PM
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I am not proud i know my English is awful.
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05.18.13, 09:58 PM
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Do you have family/friends nearby ? You need to leave asap. Your situation is out of control and so is your drinking. Seek help for your DC and for yourself.
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05.18.13, 09:52 PM
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No family. I plan on going back to AA
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05.18.13, 10:01 PM
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Has he ever hit you before or is this the first time?
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05.18.13, 10:04 PM
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When alcoholics drink, they settle for less.
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05.18.13, 10:00 PM
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I never thought i grow up and have alcohol problem. Makes very sad
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05.18.13, 10:04 PM
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05.18.13, 09:29 PM
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I have a melange. Old, new, mom and couple friends.
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05.18.13, 09:24 PM
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me too.
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05.18.13, 09:32 PM
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Regrettably not too many. Somme mom friends which are good, but not best friend like. One really good work friend, but it is complicated.
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05.18.13, 09:35 PM
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true variety
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05.18.13, 09:43 PM
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1-2 true friends from each stage: grade school, high school, college, law school. 1 mommy friend who seems like she might stand the test of time. Lots of acquaintances, though.
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05.18.13, 09:43 PM
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my old friends (childhood/high school) are my best friends but most socializing is with local mom friends.
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05.18.13, 10:13 PM
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05.18.13, 09:25 PM
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No
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05.18.13, 09:26 PM
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No!
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05.18.13, 09:26 PM
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Nope.
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05.18.13, 09:27 PM
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No!
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05.18.13, 09:40 PM
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Well, I don't drink, period. So yes?
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05.18.13, 09:41 PM
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No. I had to live my life as usual and not dwell on whether this month would be the month or not
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05.18.13, 09:37 PM
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No, but I didn't get drunk, either. Just normal wine consumption, 1-2 glasses a couple of times a week.
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05.18.13, 09:54 PM
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I think it's good to act while TTC like you want to act when PG. So if you don't want to drink alcohol while PG (I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, just talking about your preference), don't drink when you're TTC. Otherwise, you'll fret about it later.
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05.18.13, 10:25 PM
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05.18.13, 09:14 PM
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I am going through divorce now. So far no issues. We exchanged presents for our birthdays last week (we have same bday) and talk about once a month
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05.18.13, 09:17 PM
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Wow, so you went from married/living together and presumably talking every day to your current set up where you talk once a month? Do you have kids? Not judging, actually just curious.
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05.18.13, 09:25 PM
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No, we have been separated for years (about 4) and we used to talk all the time and even attend marriage therapy once a week. Now we just have nothing to say to each other. But if we do talk it is very pleasant and nice. Our kids are old enough to have their own phones so he calls them directly. He also does not live in ny anymore
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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That makes sense. Was the long separation because you were trying to work on the marriage, or just more of a practical or financial thing?
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05.18.13, 09:30 PM
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we were trying to work it out and partly just too lazy to do anything
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05.18.13, 09:30 PM
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We do now. It took nearly 5 years after separation. Things got easier when we both put pride aside and started new relationships. We now speak almost daily about DCs, their activities, and schedules. For years it was fighting and jealously. It just takes time honey and effort from both parties.
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05.18.13, 09:21 PM
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Thanks. About 1 year in (separated, not divorced yet). We are mostly doing OK and are in fact still friends but there are minefields for sure. I also feel like we are both struggling with how involved we should be with each other's lives.
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05.18.13, 09:29 PM
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Now, yes. My ex doesn't speak English very well, and my ability to speak his native tongue is fading, so our capacity to fight began to diminish.
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05.18.13, 09:37 PM
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05.18.13, 09:08 PM
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ha ha - I like your kid. I'm sure you're perfectly fine. From here on out it's the teachers who matter, right?
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05.18.13, 09:05 PM
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No, the kid had a point.
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05.18.13, 09:07 PM
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Teacher's problem now
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05.18.13, 09:15 PM
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I once told an admission director at TT school that my son likes to play with little cars and go to the park. He got in. I am sure she was sick and tired of hearing parents say my K likes to do chemistry and build architectural models!
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05.18.13, 09:19 PM
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Your kid goes to my kid's school. Don't worry about it. Your kid is in and likely you'll never see the admissions director again. By the way, the k teachers are amazing and they get kids like your DC. My DC is not big on crafts either. p.s. you'll love the school!
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05.18.13, 09:54 PM
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Caedmon? Yes
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05.18.13, 10:14 PM
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No, but I would talk to DS about answering adults more politely.
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05.18.13, 10:26 PM
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05.18.13, 09:08 PM
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No way, kids pick that up from older kids. Teenagers often say horrible shit and preteens copy. They stop in college usually.
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05.18.13, 09:10 PM
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College student here: it really doesn't stop. The athletes are usually the worst offenders when it comes to stuff like this (both the men's and women's teams)
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05.18.13, 09:12 PM
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Do they really mean it or is it just a stock phrase? I'm not condoning it, I'm just curious. I have college age cousins who hang out with friends who are gay and they all say it.
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05.18.13, 09:15 PM
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I'm honestly not sure. Some probably do and others are probably doing it to fit in with the 'macho' image
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05.18.13, 09:21 PM
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If a 5 yr old said that I'd wonder more about home, but at 13 - it's all about the peer group. Those girls may have the kindest parents in the world, they may not, but what you're hearing and seeing says more about who they are hanging out with than anything else.
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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05.18.13, 09:05 PM
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Sorry - *he should do the house work
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05.18.13, 09:06 PM
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How long are his days? If he works as many hours as you but those hours are crammed into three days, you two should split the work, I guess. Otherwise yes, since he has two days off, he should do more. But I don't think either of you should ever get a free pass on the housework, the busier spouse can always help
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05.18.13, 09:08 PM
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DH works usually Mon-fri, but travels a lot and sometimes he has to work 7 weekdays. I work usually 6 days a week and sometimes 7 days (Exhausting I know) but he does the house work when I have to work more and I do the house work when he has to work longer hours, and if both are working longer hours, house work has to wait. But he has always help.
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05.18.13, 09:11 PM
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By the way I make less than he does. Income wise.
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05.18.13, 09:12 PM
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OMG. Do you have children? When do you see them?
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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We do, 2 DC, if we have to travel we take them with us and the nanny. If we are at home then it is not such a big deal.
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05.18.13, 09:45 PM
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I don't think income matters. Is he home alone those 2 weekdays or does he have a kid with him? If the former, yes, more of the housework than you, if the latter, no.
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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Shouldn't you share? When I was working DH and I did everything 50-50, now I'm a SAHM and he still helps out.
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05.18.13, 09:26 PM
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I WOH 3 days a week and make less, but I still think DH should do stuff and luckily he agrees. He does all the cooking on the weekend, he does activities with the kids, etc.
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05.18.13, 09:30 PM
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DH and I both work 5 days per week, full-time and he does the lion's share of the housework (cooking, cleaning, laundry). He earns almost 50% more than I do. I am very lucky!
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05.18.13, 09:46 PM
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Women do on average 90% of the house work. SAH WOH doesn't matter.
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05.18.13, 09:46 PM
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05.18.13, 08:58 PM
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Dh is in charge, I don't care.
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05.18.13, 09:00 PM
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God I wish this was me! Even when he's in charge, he has to consult me unless I beg him to leave me totally out of it! Lucky!
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05.18.13, 09:04 PM
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I just tell him I don't care. I shamed him once and asked him how a guy who manages 50 people can't figure out how to put a fucking meal on the table and he doesn't ask me anymore.
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05.18.13, 09:06 PM
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love it
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05.18.13, 09:19 PM
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I'd had enough. He asks me the dumbest questions sometimes.
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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+1. I think he's making tortilla soup.
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05.18.13, 09:41 PM
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+1. I think he's making tortilla soup.
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05.18.13, 09:41 PM
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Not idea. I still have to clean all this mess, DH is working today.
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05.18.13, 09:01 PM
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Cheeseburgers and sautéed vegetables.
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05.18.13, 09:01 PM
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Vietnamese spring rolls and asian cabbage salad
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05.18.13, 09:13 PM
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wish my kids would try this!
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05.18.13, 09:19 PM
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mmmm!!
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05.18.13, 09:42 PM
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Roasted veggies, rice, probably a fried egg on top
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05.18.13, 09:14 PM
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interesting. the kids will eat this?
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05.18.13, 09:18 PM
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definitely. they will eat just about anything except for eggplant (unless baba ghanoush) and okra and one kid has a thing against raw tomatoes.
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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NP: Doesn't strike me as exotic for kids. Mine would eat this and they aren't amazing eaters.
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05.18.13, 09:23 PM
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Not exotic but just a little bit of a different combo. Veggies and rice yes but the fried egg on top. That's different for me and I'm not a super plain picky eater.
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05.18.13, 09:31 PM
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OR: yea definitely not exotic. More like end of the week and what is in the fridge. We definitely eat a lot more "exotic" foods pretty regularly though to us, they aren't.
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05.18.13, 09:31 PM
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dc have friends over. grilling burgers, veggies, watermelon, ice cream sundaes.
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05.18.13, 09:13 PM
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Fried brains
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05.18.13, 09:22 PM
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chicken drumsticks, roasted veggies, rice.
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05.18.13, 09:19 PM
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Haha, I've posted about how well-rounded my dd's meals are in the past. Well, I'm 10 weeks and can't even think about touching food to cook it. So poor thing is having an amy's organic pizza, green beans and broccoli. And we are having Indian food delivered for the 1,000,000th night in a row (I'm grossed out by most stuff, but spicy spicy spicy sag paneer is a go). Hopefully I'll be in better shape in a few weeks.
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05.18.13, 09:45 PM
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