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[ - ] 8 pm flight out of EWR what time should I leave UWS to get there if i am checking bags? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:14 PM Flag
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5pm. I would rather sit in airport for an extra 20 mins then be sitting in my house just waiting to leave. But I hate being late [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:17 PM Flag
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This. Never worth it to risk it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Do I have to visit home this summer (as my sole summer vacation)? I was there for 2.5 weeks over the holidays (with the whole family) and just spent another week there alone. My mother has an open invite to come to our house anytime. Not sure whether I want to go there yet again and forfeit a trip to a different place just to go back home. Background: home is in Europe, in a very desirable area; but still... 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:21 PM Flag
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Um, of course not. I'm assuming you're single and childfree? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:24 PM Flag
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I am married with 2 children... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:30 PM Flag
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^ they all joined me over the holidays but I went alone on the recent trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:30 PM Flag
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OR: Oops, sorry to assume. I just figured if you were able to see them so much you were maybe footloose and fancy free. You shouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever. Decide what you want to do and invite them or don't. You're good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:58 PM Flag
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No, but if you feel guilty and can afford it, invite your mom to join you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:52 PM Flag
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Nope. Airlines fly both ways, your mom can come to you. Although if she's like my MIL she won't and will somehow make it your fault. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Is anyone else up way past their bedtime? I could keep surfing the internet for another hour but for once I am going to step away and try to salvage a night's sleep. Good night, all! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:17 AM Flag
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My bedtime is midnight, so up slightly past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:24 AM Flag
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I’m awake with a miserable cold, does that count? Ugh. Scrolling through UB gives me something to do between sneezes, LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 09:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Was there already a thread about that horrible chair lift accident in Vail? Such a freaky, bizarre accident. I feel terrible for the wife and children. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:14 AM Flag
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I don't understand how he feel through the chair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:38 PM Flag
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I agree. The description of what happened is very confusing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:43 PM Flag
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I used to ski when I was younger, but now that I have kids I'm amazed by how unsafe chairlifts seem. You are so high and not even strapped in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:04 PM Flag
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My children both skier with a harness and straps when they were little. I was pretty shocked that they were allowed on the lift with it on, it was an accident waiting to happen. We secured all straps before getting on the lift, but if you were less careful or didn't understand the risk it could be really dangerous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Just need to be heard. I have been estranged from my family since I was 20 years old. Long history of abuse. As a result of this abuse, I have dealt with a very crazy sister. Supported her emotionally, monetarily, have been the person who has dealt with her ups/downs. She was a favorite of my parents. And because of this status, she kept in touch. I have never protested her keeping in touch but thought we were on the same page about what horrible people they were. After a casual chat with my nephew, I discover that the entire family (4 other siblings), her ex husband and all their kids had Thanksgiving at their house. Not only did she lie to me about Thanksgiving but my nephew said that anytime I got mentioned, the conversation would be changed. I'm going through a divorce so don't really have in law family anymore. Just feeling betrayed and lonely. I would absolutely not have gone but I expected some solidarity from my sister who I have been there for when no one else wanted to deal with her shit. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:27 AM Flag
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Oh no, I’m really sorry. Your parents or your sister hosted thanksgiving? What did she tell you she was doing? Personally, i finally ditched my mother and brother this thanksgiving and had the most relaxed holiday in years. Do you have a good friend or two to lean on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:36 AM Flag
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OP: At Mother's house. Father died a few years ago. She said she was hosting at her house, which I thought was actually nice. For context, last year I went to my home town and invited her to some other relatives Thanksgiving. She cancelled on me 10 minutes before I got to her house to pick her up for her new bf of 2 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:55 AM Flag
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First and foremost, I am sorry that you have a dysfunctional and abusive family of origin. Little in this life is more painful, unfair or hard to get over. You deserve better. That said, you have described your sister as very crazy. Crazy people are going to be crazy. There is literally nothing you can do to get her to play on a level playing field. I recommend starting (or continuing) therapy and focusing on letting go of any hopes or expectations regarding your sister or family. It's not fair but it's probably the road toward healing. The better you feel the more people you will attract into your life -- friends, possible relationships, etc. And feeling good is obviously its own reward. It'll be hard work but you've got to leave these folks in the dust. They don't deserve to suck anymore happiness from you. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:42 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks and yes fundamentally I know this. Went to therapy and dealt with all the fall out of a shitty childhood. This just caught me off guard. It's a long story but my mother (not real mother, adopted one) has never liked me and she finally got the family she wanted without me there. I keep my distance and usually for this reason. I never search for information about her, had my nephew not said something I would have never known. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:58 AM Flag
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I'm sorry, OP. This is really shitty. You're a human being and of course these fresh wounds hurt. Sending hugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:04 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks! Therapy has taught me that it's okay to be disappointed and sad. I spent a long time pretending this stuff didn't bother me and that isn't healthy either. I will take a day to remind myself I have great kids and I'm doing my best to provide them with a different kind of childhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:10 AM Flag
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That's great! Good for you for stopping this cycle in its tracks. Your kids are very luck to have you for a Mom. :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:12 AM Flag
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You’re a nice person, above responder (I’m not OP). Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:16 PM Flag
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I believe you. I’m really sorry. This is a complicated scenario and one to which I relate but you CANNOT let It get to you. The quality of these relationships are what they are. Your sister has her own agenda and, apparently, isn’t able to be transparent. However don’t count her as completely disloyal. She may be more In your corner than you think. When you’ve been abused it’s hard to relate to the neutrality that people Who weren’t abused have the luxury of existing in but I’m sure she has her own guilt. Don’t let her escape it by demonizing her. Let her wrestle with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:59 AM Flag
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OP: I understand that my sister thinks about herself and only herself. I'm assuming she went to get money. She had called me earlier in the month for some cash but I have implemented a NO MORE CASH rule for the entire family. I appreciate you guys letting me vent. It will pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:07 AM Flag
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Sounds like you have done the work and can read the writing on the wall. That’s HUGE! It’s just that we want sisters even more when we’re from dysfunctional families...it’s a paradox... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:13 AM Flag
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What therapy have you done? UB referred me to CODA too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 06:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Nanny’s parents were on a vacation in Singapore and are coming back this weekend. I feel iffy about it. She coincidentally gave a notice so next week is her lat week Should I just tell her not to come? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:59 AM Flag
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Yes, don’t risk it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:19 AM Flag
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Singapore is fine. Really. Read up on how they’re handling it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 12:17 PM Flag
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I have. They have 81 cases and my company (large fortune 100 multinational) has halted all business travel to Singapore (in addition to Taiwan and China) and requires 2 wk self quarantine if you visited [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Any good ideas of something to do with 11 and 14 year old girls tomorrow on the UWS (not clothes shopping). Thanks! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:51 AM Flag
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OP: Maybe something crafty? Any good places? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:52 AM Flag
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Gigantic pizza slices at Koronet on 110th and Broadway- or the Natural History Museum! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:58 AM Flag
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AMNH, Central Park, Sugar Factory, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:11 AM Flag
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Ice skating at Lasker or Wollman rinks. Hike northern end of central park. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know if there are any ski resorts with a gondola besides Mountain Creek and Belle Ayre in the NE? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:44 AM Flag
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Sunday River [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:07 AM Flag
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Thanks! Maybe I should’ve asked for under 4 hrs within NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:10 AM Flag
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Stratton is a great idea as the poster below suggested. 4 hours from NYC. I went for the first time this Presidents’ Day and I was pleasantly surprised, even found the crowds manageable (the lift lines at base looked long but moved quickly). The friend we stayed with had a ski in / ski out place, so that helped [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 11:58 AM Flag
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Stratton maybe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:02 AM Flag
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Gore Mountain, Killington and Stratton [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:18 AM Flag
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Loon, Cannon, Jay [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 10:39 AM Flag
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Breton Woods [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 12:31 PM Flag
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Stowe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] My dh was recently diagnosed Bipolar 2. He has a family history of diabetes and mood disorder (which can be genetically linked). He has gradually declined over the past few years but was only recently diagnosed and began medication. Anyone with any experience with this here? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:30 AM Flag
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Yes with DD. Just diagnosed a few months ago. FINALLY feel like we are heading in the right direction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:38 AM Flag
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I’m very glad to hear that. This has only been 1 month, although he has been calmer on medication overall. May I ask what is helping? Is it medication and therapy? Did he have a history of trauma or something that triggered a major change? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:03 AM Flag
[ - ] WWYD. My 9-year-old has befriended a girl who exhibits disturbing characteristics. When she doesn't think adults are listening, she tells little white lies to get a reaction out of DD. She was over for a playdate. When she left, there were sewing pins stuck in one of my DD's stuffed animals. She was also playing with a toy that belonged to my son. Today, at the movies, while I was sitting right in front of her (and her mother stepped away), she pulled out the toy and announced she received it as a Christmas present and was showing it off. She seems unfazed by adults. I have gotten to know her mom. Should I approach . . . or just back away ASAP? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:20 AM Flag
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^^ Meaning, have my daughter back away. Sadly, this is my DD's closest friend . . . ^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:22 AM Flag
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Do not approach parents. Simply stop arranging playdates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:40 AM Flag
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+1 Distance yourself and your daughter. No more playdates. Host playdates with other kids. Friend sounds troubled and not your problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:01 PM Flag
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Just be busy. For forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:20 AM Flag
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Ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:49 AM Flag
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Playdates are done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:03 AM Flag
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This girl is a beginner sociopath. Just back away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:41 AM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:49 AM Flag
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I would not have any more playdates and encourage dd to play with other kids. I had a similar situation with my son in 4th grade. The kid acted out a lot. Now, my kids are in MS and his problems got much bigger so I am glad the friendship faded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 11:17 AM Flag
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I guess I'm in the minority but other than the pins, I don't see the problem with her playing with your son's toy or showing off a toy at the movies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:42 PM Flag
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I think OP is saying she pulled out the son's toy, as in she took it and tried to claim it was hers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:02 PM Flag
[ - ] My mom is an alcoholic who has been hospitalized for the last month after a fall. She’s in her 70s. She refuses alcohol treatment. She’s not going to get better, right. Just sad here. She could have another 15 -20 years if she turned things around. Not sure if there is anything to do. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:10 AM Flag
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i'm so sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:13 AM Flag
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Only thing I can think is that her hospitalization represents an opportunity, if you can have a social worker or doctor step in and discuss her intake with her as part of her overall health. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:23 AM Flag
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I'm so sorry - must be hard to see - heart goes out to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:24 AM Flag
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Op here: thanks. Maybe she’ll figure things out. I’m just realizing that there’s not much we can do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:31 AM Flag
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I feel for you. I am not close to my mom so sensing your sadness makes me want to give you a hug, whoever you are. She can't help it - it's a disease. Treat her with compassion and love and not blame but do everything possible to give yourself what she can't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:41 AM Flag
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Thanks. That’s good advice. And I appreciate the hug :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:44 AM Flag
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You got it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:47 AM Flag
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Did she go through withdrawal? Has her doctor put her on antidepressants? BTDT with my father. Speak straight with her doctor at the hospital and the social worker at the hospital and try to get her on antidepressants. My father ruined his health but at least he went through withdrawal. At this point, if he drinks alcohol he will not survive. He is finally sober. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:18 AM Flag
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I’m very sorry. The hard truth is that you can’t change her or will Her to get better. If you haven’t already, you should go to Al Anon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:59 AM Flag
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I was in the hospital for a few days a few years ago and I shared a room with a woman who had gone to the ER following a fall and was admitted to more fully recover. She was in her mid-70s and was an alcoholic. Through our flimsy curtain I could hear her doctors and family members encouraging her to go to rehab. It was clear to me that nobody in the room was applying basic principals of intervention. Their comments were well-intentioned but vague. They expressed love but not much specific empathy and and I could see how she could feel shamed, embarrassed, isolated and even angry. Nobody mentioned any potential ramifications for failure to go. What surprised me the most was that the doctors seemed clueless. They never brought in an interventionist and I believe the woman was ultimately discharged and went home. It was heartbreaking. The moral of this story is that not every medical professional knows how to intervene in a compassionate and effective way, or knows how to guide families. This is a golden opportunity to transition her from the hospital directly to proper treatment ESPECIALLY since she is presumably sober at the moment. Can you try to get an actual interventionist involved? I hope I don't sound critical -- your situation may obviously be worlds different from the one I described. I was just reminded of this story and my frustration that nobody really presented this woman with a real REASON to go to treatment. Reasons from their point of view, yes, but not hers. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not your fault. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:01 AM Flag
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I’m sure my MIL and FIL are alcoholics too (we only see them twice/year). Also in their 70s. It’s sad but we’ve decided to let it ride as long as they don’t hurt other people or themselves. So that’s where we are. You, she got hurt. And refuses treatment. You might be stuck. Hugs, friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 12:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Do dcs ever surprise you with talents/aptitudes? DS is able to pick up languages quickly and speak with relative fluency while I have always struggled with confidence in this area. It's both cool and mystifying at the same time. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:56 AM Flag
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Yes, DC is crazy good at languages, Spanish teacher says he is fluent now in HS, I'm always impressed as I totally lack that aptitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:28 AM Flag
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Yes. One of my brothers has had, since early childhood, an incredible ability to remember entire songs -- both music and lyrics -- after hearing them just once. My DS is the same way! It's such a delight. They both compose well, too. Totally mystifying to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:15 AM Flag
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My dd sings and she will sing in front of anyone with absolutely no stage fright. She will perform any time in any place. My dh and I are both shy and would are nervous with simple presentations. My dad was a musician [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 11:20 AM Flag
[ - ] I don’t know if I’m justified to feel this way but I am just a bit ticked off that my dad is in the middle of doing his will and I don’t think it’s even entered his head to put me or my sister or any of our three dc in the will. Everything to his second wife and ds from second marriage. My sister doesn’t need it but we could certainly use a bit of help, which he is well aware of. Annoying because he certainly enjoys a close family relationship in every way from my sister and me but when it comes to the money it’s like “What?! You’re my kids too?!” He hasn’t paid for anything for us. No school, no holidays, no camp, no child support, no alimony, nothing. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:25 AM Flag
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This would bother me also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:31 AM Flag
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What makes you think you’re not included? How old were you when your parents divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:37 AM Flag
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I was 8, sister was 6. Due to mother’s infidelity and her subsequent unwillingness to work on the relationship. Which i get was totally devastating but... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:13 AM Flag
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But why do you think he hasn’t included you? Has he said as much? If so, I would be straight w him. Tell him that it’s deeply painful to know that you and your sister are being left out of the will. In all honesty, the monetary help would be welcomed, appreciated and very helpful, but the bigger issue is feeling as though he doesn’t consider you and your sister to be his children, on par w your step brother. While you know your mother’s infidelity was devastating to him, it was equally devastating to you and this is a double gut punch, received decades after the initial blow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:31 AM Flag
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^^^np This is very, very good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 05:11 AM Flag
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omg pls say something! you'll regret it if you don't. especially if you have a "close family relationship" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:51 AM Flag
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I also vote for saying something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:23 AM Flag
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I've posted before. My brother and I get 5% each. Our half-brother from the second marriage (which also ended in divorce) gets the remaining 90%. He has already paid for half-brother's school (post-grad) and still supports him. It isn't that I feel entitled to anything, but it feels like he is playing favorites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:03 AM Flag
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that sucks. largely happened to a friend, though there were no children in second marriage. the second wife preceded the dad in death, but he had pretty much pivoted away from the children in his first marriage and generally only allows the step children to help him in his older years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:12 AM Flag
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My dad did the opposite in his will and split his estate equally between kids from first and second marriages, even though the majority of the earnings occurred in second marriage. I think the second-marriage dc is resentful, but he doesn't have children. I'm grateful. These wills send messages, and it is very tricky emotional territory. Communicate your feelings while you can. I wish you well, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:16 AM Flag
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Leave to kids equally, while providing for current spouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:43 AM Flag
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^^ or maybe to not sound greedy for yourself, ask him if he would be comfortable contributing to 529 now or later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:44 AM Flag
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how awful. cheap and selfish. you need to have a serious talk with him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:47 AM Flag
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I think the best way to deal with these things is expect nothing and don't feel entitled to an inheritance. It'll keep you more sane and mentally healthy., [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 04:23 AM Flag
[ - ] hope an MD mom or someone who might know can reassure me: traveling w dd tomorrow and I have developed a dry cough this morning. Apart from feeling a "heavy head" sensation for the last hour or so, no other cold symptoms or congestion... had my flu shot and I am in good health (51) please tell me I can still enjoy my trip. I hope at most it is just a cold. My colds never usually start with a dry cough and I tend to worry a bit. Thanks for reading and any feedback 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:15 AM Flag
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MD mom. Flu generally has rapid onset with fevers, shaking chills, myalgias. Starting out slow with dry cough more likely to be a run of the mill virus. I'd keep hydrating and not change plans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:25 AM Flag
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op- thank you so much for your taking the time to reply. Your advice made me worry less. The only other thing is a "heavy head", and feels like my ears are slightly clogged (as soon as I drink water or other they seem to slightly pop) would it make sense to take Advil or similar before going to bed? Thanks again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:42 AM Flag
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Advil/Tylenol can help, but for that heavy headed congestion I often recommend an antihistamine, a decongestant, or even flonase. Feel better! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:50 AM Flag
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op- Thank you! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:01 AM Flag
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op again, promise it's the last question: I have never been on any medication and rarely take even Advil or Tylenol, but is it OK if I take natural/herbal remedies (like echinacea tea, elderberry syrup etc) also maybe an Advil or two, along w Flonase? I guess there are no interactions/side effects, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:06 AM Flag
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Those are fine to take together! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:38 AM Flag
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thank you again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:44 AM Flag
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If it's a cold, Zicam helps minimize the symptoms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:42 PM Flag
[ - ] When are NYC public HS applications results in? Including the specialized schools. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 01:54 AM Flag
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They come in on the same letter, same day. NYC specialized, general list & audition schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:00 AM Flag
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Do you know when it will come out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:28 AM Flag
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There used to be a date in last years, but then they got delayed a couple years ago by a lawsuit, so now I believe they just say march sometime. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 02:31 AM Flag
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Doe said March, so by March 31 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.19.20, 03:29 AM Flag
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