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05.20.13, 12:14 AM
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Yes - for a job
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05.20.13, 12:25 AM
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No - because DH wants to engage in gay sex in the Castro
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05.20.13, 12:25 AM
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I would if finances permit. SF is even more expensive than NY in many ways. The public schools SUCK there. NY is manageable, but SF has a really draconian lottery system that is a complete pain in the ass. You need to have the money for private. Also, there is less of a kid culture. But... SF is beautiful in every way. So much more than NY. And I think you get more bang for your buck out there in terms of housing-- the stock is just way nicer. And the weekend trips you can take... I would move to SF in a heartbeat if it weren't for economics/our jobs being in NYC.
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05.20.13, 12:20 AM
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05.20.13, 12:11 AM
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He is linking your post-baby figure to miscarriage and birth defects? Why?
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05.20.13, 12:18 AM
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No, two different reasons. One reason is the body. The other reason is the idea of quitting while we are ahead.
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05.20.13, 12:20 AM
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the other sounds like a nice affair going on on the side.
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05.20.13, 12:15 AM
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you lost the weight yet don't have your body back? does that mean you have health complications?
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05.20.13, 12:19 AM
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My stomach is not the same. It's not a huge difference. All my clothes fit, but not as flat as it was before.
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05.20.13, 12:21 AM
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This is normal.
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05.20.13, 12:24 AM
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Wait. Is the body issue of yours different than the "bad" thing that may happen? (And fuck him on the body thing.)
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05.20.13, 12:19 AM
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Your dh doesn't sound very nice.
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05.20.13, 12:20 AM
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05.20.13, 12:08 AM
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Do you mind making me a salad, will you use the 1/2 bath toilet, and if I ask you to cook, will you promise not to kill anyone in the house?
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05.20.13, 12:03 AM
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Bitch, you're not going to wear my sweater, are you?
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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Does she drink the Fiji water?
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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How much time do you spend on the phone?
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05.20.13, 12:12 AM
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Do you hug husbands
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05.20.13, 12:13 AM
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Are you an indoor or outdoor nanny?
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05.20.13, 12:13 AM
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Observe her with the children. Does she get down on their level. Does she talk to them in a normal tone of voice? Does she seem comfortable? Does she seem interested in what they are doing?
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05.20.13, 12:18 AM
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In checking references, I'd ask what the family did for child care after the nanny left - did they hire a new nanny, kids were old enough not to need the nanny, one parent stayed home, etc. and I'd also ask a question like "what kind of a family would NOT be a good fit for this nanny?" which would hopefully give them more latitude to talk about weaknesses since it would be couched in context. For the nanny herself, ask lots of scenario questions - "what would you do if...?" "OK, what if that didn't work, what would you try next?" "How would you choose between X and Y if....?"
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05.20.13, 12:16 AM
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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Yes he is. Put him in the shower the next time he does it.
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05.20.13, 12:02 AM
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Tell him we wipe or we'll get worms in our butt.
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05.20.13, 12:07 AM
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that is not true. why would you do that?
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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Because I need him to wipe himself. This has being going on for months, and I have put him to wash his own underwear when it comes soiled, be he continue.
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05.20.13, 12:13 AM
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so you make up some absurd lie?
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05.20.13, 12:21 AM
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I just told him that and it seems to make a huge impression, he ask several questions and did my bet to sound convincing. Txs!!!!
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05.20.13, 12:11 AM
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Brilliant
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05.20.13, 12:11 AM
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If you act like a baby, I will treat you like one. You can pick earlier bed time - not sleepovers, whatever you think is a big boy thing that babies can't do.
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05.20.13, 12:07 AM
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He does not have sleepovers and he goes to bed at 8
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05.20.13, 12:09 AM
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then use the "whatever you think is a big voy thing that babies do get to do"
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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Make him wear a pamper one time.
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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I would try not to flip out over this, stay on him but don't freak out
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05.20.13, 12:09 AM
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Honestly I just get utterly disgusted about this.
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05.20.13, 12:12 AM
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I would not put a diaper on him. Its demeaning. Keep teaching him what he is supposed to do.
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05.20.13, 12:19 AM
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05.19.13, 11:57 PM
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This make me so sad, Please people do not adopt animals if you are not ready to commit.
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05.19.13, 11:59 PM
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This. So not fair to the cats. You knew you were allergic and still got cats. Poor cats.
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05.20.13, 12:00 AM
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+1
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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People - it's been 7 years and I've been doing shots every week - not going to put my dd through it - please give some advice and not judgement
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05.20.13, 12:02 AM
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At this age those cats are more likely to be out to sleep than to be adopted. Not like you care much.
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05.19.13, 11:58 PM
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Put to sleep.
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05.19.13, 11:58 PM
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Jesus people, I'm picking my daughter over the cats - we rescued them from a terrible situation 7 years ago. You're telling my you would all take a 5 year old for shots for the next ten years?
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05.20.13, 12:07 AM
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Ignore them, this is their version of trolling. Trust me, I HAVE ripped some people on this board a new one for saying things like, "I am so bored with this dog/cat and it needs to go," but you sound like you are being decent about this, and your excuse is legit IMO. Not fair to expect a 7 y.o. to deal with an allergy being aggravated and not reasonable to expect a cat owner to avoid having children lest the dc be allergic as is being implied.
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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THIS. Sad. :(
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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+2
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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She said DD as well. I'm allergic to cats and have cats. I deal. However, it's not fair to inflict an allergy on a child who didn't sign up for it, and my cats would be gonzo if my child who postdates the cats had an allergy. It's a sad situation, but don't demonize OP. Odds are those cats would've been euthanized years ago had she not adopted them, so save the sermon.
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05.20.13, 12:05 AM
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Don't be ridiculous, Odds are those cats would be with a family right now. I know that people like you or Op see animals like a pair of old shoes.
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05.20.13, 12:09 AM
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You're a troll, and you need to stop. Either that or you're hopelessly stupid. Which is it?
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05.20.13, 12:24 AM
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This is really not fair. The woman presumably has had the cats for seven years - hardly afraid of commitment. If the choice is kid or cat, what is she supposed to choose?!?
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05.20.13, 12:03 AM
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Well, she shouldn't had adopted them if they would become an inconvenience for her later on. And older cats is less liked to be adopted.
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05.20.13, 12:07 AM
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Shut up, you saint. I would give them away too if I had to choose.
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05.20.13, 12:04 AM
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I know you would. A lot of people would.
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05.20.13, 12:11 AM
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You're a shithead who can't read.
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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Yes, because OP obviously ignored the crystal ball that told her what her circumstances would be 7 years after the adoption.
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05.20.13, 12:27 AM
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np: You know, in general I agree with this, but she just found out that her 7 y.o. is allergic. The kid could be having daily asthma attacks. She sounds committed to re-homing them safely. You are too rigid in your thinking about this one.
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05.20.13, 12:04 AM
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+1
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05.20.13, 12:03 AM
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They are too old. What breed ? You can try an animal shelter but they would probably put them to sleep.
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05.20.13, 12:00 AM
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Yes, I think this is going to be the best route, specially a 7 yo cat. Families are more prone to adopt a younger cat.
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05.20.13, 12:02 AM
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petfinder.com
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05.20.13, 12:02 AM
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this is a good website. I found my cat there.
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05.20.13, 12:05 AM
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Put up signs at local vet's office, email friends to ask them if they know anyone and post on Facebook and ask your friends to share the status.
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05.20.13, 12:02 AM
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Is there a retirement community near you, assuming they're lap cats who are friendly? Older people may not want a rambunctious kitten. Otherwise I agree, may be too old. If you MUST get rid of them without a home lined up, OP, try to do it as humanely as possible... no putting them on the street to starve or fight, please.
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05.20.13, 12:06 AM
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Op, my kid will aways go first, if the cats need to be euthanized so be it.
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05.20.13, 12:10 AM
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I don't think is the op.
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05.20.13, 12:14 AM
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Sorry this wasn't op, i was talking to the OP.
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05.20.13, 12:09 AM
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Are you op? Or talking to op?
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05.20.13, 12:09 AM
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I think this is someone impersonating op.
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05.20.13, 12:16 AM
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My DH would never allow them to be Euthanized. Need to find a situation for them. Would seriously pay someone to take care of them at this point.
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05.20.13, 12:12 AM
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My DH would never allow them to be Euthanized. Need to find a situation for them. Would seriously pay someone to take care of them at this point.
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05.20.13, 12:12 AM
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OR: I was in a similar situation, and a vet won't euthanize a healthy cat. It's a really tough spot.
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05.20.13, 12:26 AM
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Family?
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05.20.13, 12:05 AM
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Facebook friends?
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05.20.13, 12:14 AM
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We asked, no one will take them (my sis is also highly allergic). We've asked neighbors, no dice. Retirement community and vet is a good idea.
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05.20.13, 12:16 AM
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We had to face this choice. Heartbreaking but DS was so allergic we had to find the cat a new home. OP, sounds like you are doing what is best for your child.
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05.20.13, 12:14 AM
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Some nursing homes now have mascot pets because they have a positive psychological effect on the elderly and sick. Maybe you can try that route, they may like that they are brother /sister and already house trained.
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05.20.13, 12:16 AM
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05.19.13, 11:55 PM
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Since losing my job I have been working zero hours per week - would give anything to work 18 hours a week
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05.19.13, 11:50 PM
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selfish because you are shorchanging work or dc?
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05.19.13, 11:56 PM
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Child-if we don't need the money and I'm just doing it for me. IDK weird pregnancy hormones!
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05.19.13, 11:57 PM
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see how it goes - you might love it - and do both well or you might change later.
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05.20.13, 12:08 AM
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Try it out for a year. If you don't like the balance then you can quit.
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05.19.13, 11:51 PM
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^^^^ This is great advice. You don't have to try it for a whole year--maybe put a six months date on it--but give it a try, particularly since you like your job
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05.20.13, 12:05 AM
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I agree, try it out. Give yourself a period of time after which you will evaluate (maybe 6 months?) FWIW that sounds like a GREAT schedule for the mom of a young child. If you like your job and this keeps you in the game, you will really be glad you did it in a few years when you are ready for more.
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05.20.13, 12:26 AM
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why do you feel selfish? if you enjoy your job, you're probably going to be happier getting out of the house a bit. and a happier mom is going to be a better mom. try to ease up on the guilt.
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05.19.13, 11:52 PM
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I think this sounds great!!!! The amount of time you will be away is really ideal. As much as you will love your new baby, you may find that it's nice to be in an environment where people are focused on things other than being a mother.
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05.20.13, 12:02 AM
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I don't get it -- how is working part time selfish? Happy mothers --> happy children. You're not talking about an 80 week here. Have fun!
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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This is perfect. Just enough to keep you from being completely mommy-tracked and/or unemployable in the future. Plus you'll wind up loving the break from db
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05.20.13, 12:08 AM
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It really sounds like a great set-up, I would totally do it.
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05.20.13, 12:15 AM
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05.19.13, 11:55 PM
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Dr Brooke Magnanti published the above quote, advising college aged women to date men at least twice their age
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05.19.13, 11:56 PM
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That is weird. Dating someone twice your age at 18 is creepy and inappropriate. He just wants you because you are a hot young thing to warm his old bones.
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05.20.13, 12:03 AM
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Yes but Brooke says that 18 year old boys are so immature that she preferred men twice her age
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05.20.13, 12:00 AM
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That sounds like a cop out. Most girls I knew who dated men that much older had daddy issues or messed up childhoods. You can find a guy your age who is on your level, she isn't Marie Curie.
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05.20.13, 12:09 AM
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I would not trust someone in his mid-30's who wanted to date an 18 y.o. 18 y.o.'s, including the women, are legal adults, but not emotional adults 90% of the time. It's very different than, say, dating someone 45 when you're 30.
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05.20.13, 12:18 AM
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05.19.13, 11:51 PM
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It's a sellers market. We just bought a place, they had 6 offers all above asking. The place we made an offer on prior to this they didn't even come back with a counter offer.
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05.19.13, 11:54 PM
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Might I ask the OP where she is bidding? If in a cool metro area, there is no hope for her. if she is bidding in fly over land she will do ok
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05.19.13, 11:53 PM
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Condescending
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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Livingston, NJ. The house was listed at 1,050,000 but they lost 2 buyers at that price during attorney review due to buyers remorse. Our initial offer was 950. They came back with a counter at 999 and we went back in at 979. Thoughts? I'm sitting on pins and needles right now.
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05.20.13, 12:08 AM
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If you knew someone was else bidding you should have bid ask. Live and learn
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05.20.13, 12:15 AM
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05.19.13, 11:48 PM
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Friends who had it said it was one of the worst and most painful experiences of their life
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05.19.13, 11:45 PM
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Op: that is awful, hoping does not happen to me.
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05.20.13, 12:01 AM
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my dh had it and I had to sleep with dc because if I moved the sheet it hurt him.
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05.20.13, 12:14 AM
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There is a med you can take but it HAS to be taken really early - or it doesn't help. I'd call doc asap.
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05.19.13, 11:57 PM
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and yes, you can go to urgent care and try script.
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05.19.13, 11:58 PM
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Op: thanks. It has been a week at least since it first appeared so I think it is too late. Still painful but nothing my body that pushed out two kids under very painful circumstances cannot handle. Thanks.
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05.20.13, 12:00 AM
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np - from what I've heard of shingles, you are far underestimating what it can turn into. Run, don't walk, to the doctor.
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05.20.13, 12:07 AM
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what have you heard? it doesn't turn into anything. It's shingles.
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05.20.13, 12:11 AM
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