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[ - ] What's for Dinner? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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chick fil a [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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ILY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:19 PM Flag
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I guess we will order something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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My husband is making roasted chicken, asparagus, and salad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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Can I marry your DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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I'm afraid he's taken:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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Is he a good cook? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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He's a great cook, but an exceptional baker. His father owned a shop in my hometown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:21 PM Flag
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asparagus AND salad? that's OTT veggie redundancy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:43 PM Flag
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No clue I have nothing but lettuce at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:32 PM Flag
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Fighting off a big cold and scratchy throat. I'm eating gelato for dinner. To hell with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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What numba? Chichen or poook? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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We dont deliver north side 72nd st, only south side [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:36 PM Flag
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omfg hahah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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Leftovers, every man for himself. Leaving first thing in the morning for 2 weeks so trying to use up what we can... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:36 PM Flag
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Chicken, onion, and green pepper fajitas. Best way to get rid of leftover chicken and leftover veggies IMO. Probably gonna throw some black beans and some cheese in there too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:24 PM Flag
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my husband [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:25 PM Flag
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Good question. Thanks for asking; haven't even thought about it...which probably means pasta. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:39 PM Flag
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Salmon and zoodles for DH. Wine for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Who knew actress Connie Britton and Senator Kirsten Gillibrand were roommates one summer in college? I love this photo! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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hahaha. I did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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That reminds me... I cannot wait for American Horror Story to return [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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I just saw the trailer, looks good! Can't wait to see Kathy Bates as the bearded lady. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:32 PM Flag
[ - ] How much more should we pay a nanny for caring for our special needs child? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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Depends on the type of work which is required. Is she specialized to work with SN DCs? What are the hours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Are you still friends with college classmates? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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I'm very close to one, and less close with another. That's it. Seems sad, but in my defense, it was in the time before social media/ cell phones, and I moved quite far away. I'm much more in touch with grad school friends and beyond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:16 PM Flag
[ - ] I still can't believe there was a hit song a few years ago with the lyrics "That little faggot with the earring and the makeup - yeah buddy, that's his own hair! / That little faggot got his own jet airplane / That little faggot, he's a millionaire!" - three uses of an anti-gay slur in three lines. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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Shut up fag [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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that's "faggot" to you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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Not just any old hit song. A hit song from one of the biggest selling albums of all time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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Dude, they were being sarcastic, and making fun of people who put down musicians. They are quoting some grumpy person who sees an MTV music video and says disparaging things about appearances, and then sarcastically parroting the phrase back and pointing out that it doesn't matter what they look like, because they have made it and are living the dream. (Also, the line is, "'That little faggot with the earring and the makeup' / Yeah, buddy, that's his own affair" - telling the Grumpy Old Man that it's none of his business how other people choose to dress.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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actually, its "... yeah buddy, that's his own hair"... still being spoken by your Grumpy Old Man, its not a retort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Yeah, the song is not anti gay at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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I think you're mistaken about the lyrics. Your lyrics make no sense. OP's are correct. It's hair, not affair, as in big hair, rock star hair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:28 PM Flag
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It generated a lot of controversy back then (it was 29 years ago...). The song is 'narrated' by a stupid, anti-gay, department store worker... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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More like a Best Buy type. A store that sells TVs and refrigerators and installs microwaves. The custom kitchens? Home Depot? Whatever the Australian version of HD is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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You can't listen to half the songs in the top 100 without hearing nigger. How is this different? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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It isn't. Actually, this is better, as the song is not suggesting its lyrics are positive - quite the opposite. Whereas the nigga rap is saying "this is the way to do it". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Much more eloquent. Thanks. -or [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:21 PM Flag
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Change the channel. Problem solved. You're welcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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a few years ago? more like a generation. jesus, i guess i'm getting old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:19 PM Flag
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I feel really old I remember this song was big when I was in business school. I do not remember a lot of controversy about the "faggot" lyrics at the time. It was about a "macho" appliance store worker who resented the fact that wimpy musicians made a lot of money doing nothing while he was busting his hump working for a living. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:36 PM Flag
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What song? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you say parents of someone who has done something horrible still love their dc? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Of course. You can hate the flaws without hating the person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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So you think the parents of school shooters still love them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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I do, it is their child. They may feel guilty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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pp: Yup. I knew a guy who had a psychotic episode as a young adult. His dad happened to hear footsteps one night and investigate. He interrupted this guy as he was about to stab his little sister in her sleep with a pair of scissors. Those parents visited him every chance they got. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:38 PM Flag
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Yes. I imagine you can love someone but not like them. But I haven't been in such a situation, so who knows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:08 PM Flag
[ - ] What is your fav jeans and fit ? What size do you wear? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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Made in Heaven: Roadtrip, size 28 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Earnest Sewn, 27 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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Red Engine low rise skinny. I have them tailored, but I believe mine started out with a 26 inch waist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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Paige denim, forget the fit but they are very dark wash skinny jeans. Size 29 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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24. I like AG and JBrand [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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AG, 28 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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Gap always skinny skimmer, 26 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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CJ by Cookie Johnson, size 14 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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AG Prima jeans size 25 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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I have never met a comfortable pair of jeans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:37 PM Flag
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I prefer my daughter's Hello Kitty PJs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:39 PM Flag
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ILY, although I am a bit sad that I get this... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:41 PM Flag
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LOL, same here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:43 PM Flag
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I am living for the day that Rapsodia expands into the U.S. Ever since I bought a pair in Argentina years ago, I've been waiting for them to grow beyond Latin America - even on their email list, but they don't ship. Magically cut. AGs are my favorites for when I'm heavier, but Rapsodias are heavenly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:42 PM Flag
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^^oh, probably a 26 in the Rapsodias, 29 in the AG Angelinas after babies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it true that none of the citywide or district g&t programs are accepting new students for 4th grade? In years past, if a dc scored double 4s on the state exams in 3rd grade, dc was eligible for a spot. But are students no longer admitted in 4th or 5th grade now? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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I don't know the exact answer to your question. But at our district G&T open house, the principle said there was a new policy where 3rd graders who perform well in the gen ed program in the school could be moved over into G&T at the school for 4th (as long as there was space, and regardless of state test scores-- meaning they did not necessarily need to get double 4's, as long as the school felt their overall performance at school warranted a G&T switch). It is supposedly a change from years past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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That's interesting and a good idea. Although it would leave out any student who isn't in a gen ed that also has a g&t program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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OR: I agree. I thought it was a great idea, but it does seem to only be for kids in the same school as a G&T. As per principle, this is Deblasio's start to his whole "a child should not be judged on one day/one test score only" push. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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This does indeed seem to be the case. Per doe website: On March 31, 2014, the New York State Legislature passed a law prohibiting school districts from making “any student promotion or placement decisions based solely or primarily on student performance on the state administered standardized English language arts and mathematics assessments for grades three through eight.” Given this new legislation the New York City Department of Education will not be making Gifted & Talented placements in grades 4 and 5 in September 2014. In the past, families interested in applying for Gifted and Talented placement for children entering grades 4 and 5 would submit an application in the summer to the Office of Student Enrollment. Eligibility was determined based on the applicant’s scores on the New York State English Language Arts and Mathematics tests and placements were made based on available seats in requested programs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:24 PM Flag
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See, I think this is what our principle was referring to at the open house (I posted above). She said that the new policy was to not make seat placement SOLELY on a student's performance on the state tests. But she did not say (as you just did) that this translated into NO new placements. She said that this now meant that the schools had more flexibility to move kids into G&T at their schools based on MORE THAN just state test scores (i.e. a portfolio, or a more comprehensive look at a child's performance over the year/years). You are interpreting this as meaning there is not new placement, but that's not our principle said about the district G&T. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:27 PM Flag
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^^^ sorry for my spelling/ grammar errors. I was typing fast. But hopefully you get my meaning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Which Keurig should I finally buy? There are several models can anyone recommend theirs? Tia! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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I would skip Keurig and get a good coffee maker. I have a Keurig (not sure what model) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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the Keurig actually got me off coffee. I stopped feeling forced to drink a whole pot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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OR: Actually, you have a valid point. I have maybe two cups of coffee in the morning at the max. Coffee is okay..not great...okay but it gets the job done quickly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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The coffee is so bad. It's not worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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Buy a French Press [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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You just reminded me that I need to get another one of those. The one I had, I loved, but it broke :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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Makes shitty, overpriced coffee. At that point you might as well just pick up a cup at the bodega. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Love, love, love ours! We use it all the time. I can't make a decent pot of coffee. Plus, mine has a hot water dispenser feature that I love. I think mine is a platinum model. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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I just bought one and I really like it. My DCs make hot chocolate themselves and we can also get k-kups with tea. I got the K75 model. Check Bed Bath & Beyond. They had the best price a couple of weeks ago when I bought it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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^^P.S. I agree with the poster above. I drink less coffee because I don't have to make a whole pot. I can have a cup or two in the morning, and another in the afternoon. Also, I like flavored coffee once in a while, but not often enough to buy a whole bag. The k-kups are perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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I have the K10 Mini Plus. If you get the reusable K Cups, you can always make more cost-efficient coffee from whatever brands you like. I also use it without a K Cup to get hot water to make tea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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Get a Nespresso. Keurig is nasty crappy coffee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Seriously, how much more sophisticated are city kids than burb kids, I'm talking middle school and up? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Seriously? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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Worlds apart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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Well, their coke is definitely better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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I find them more worldly. But I'm not sure that is the same as sophisticated in my book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:24 PM Flag
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Depends if u r talking Greenwich or any town USA suburb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:34 PM Flag
[ - ] I have an amazing nanny who has been with me too long and our employer/employee relationship is basically broken. I need to phase this nanny out but I really don't want to fire her. I would ideally like to find another position for her that pays as well or ideally better than what I have to offer. Is it possible to do this without her finding out? 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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you're thinking someone's gonna hire her without interviewing her? i guess they could come watch her at your house but seems rather difficult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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I am thinking someone would hire her for a weekend babysitting and observe and if they like her they would let me know and I could talk to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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Your mind may already be made up but can I ask what is unfixable about the relationship? Only because great nannies can be really hard to come by, and if she does a great job and the kids are in a happy and healthy routine with her, I would be SO hesitant to rock the boat personally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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op: ITA and that is why I have not rocked the boat for 2 years. She is amazing in every way with kids. They are independent, self sufficient, patient, well behaved etc etc and I give her credit for a lot of this. She also teaches them a lot academically in addition to good habits. However, I don't really have much of a say in anything and that is difficult for me and that is the dysfunctional part. An additional factor is that my youngest just started 3s program and I could hire a housekeeper nanny who will be less expensive and will make my life easier. The 8K a year difference is not insignificant to us although I have to say that if our Nanny didn't have an attitude I would keep her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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She's done a wonderful job of raising your kids (no judgement here -- my nanny is the same, and I love her for it). But now your needs have changed. Would she be willing to be a housekeeper nanny for fewer hours? Finding someone this great with the kids is gold . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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I think she will agree(reluctantly) to do housekeeping but she will not take a cut in pay. I need to cut $200/wk which is significant for her. I would keep her with her attitude if I could cut her hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Can't hurt to ask. Especially since you are not saying that you want to fire her because she's terrible. It's the opposite, you want to keep her because she's great, but your kids are in school now. It's inevitable for every nanny that the kids grow up. Better to be downsized than fired. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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True. She thinks the pre-school is unnecessary which is why she will be resentful of the downsizing. It would be different if the youngest started K but this is nursery school and he is actually not even 3 yo yet. However perhaps you are right and I should offer to downsize her hours until she finds a better position. This way she can either find a better paying job or stick around. TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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Now here is where I would put my foot down (even mentally) as the mom. Your kids go to school when you say, whether or not she agrees with it. My kids started school at 18 months, and my nannies have always known that they would be PT once that happened. They did all eventually leave for FT jobs, but each one found her own replacement for me. In my situation, I didn't so much "fire" them, as they felt that they were in control. On X date, kids are in school, so plan accordingly, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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What do you mean on X date kids are in school? Do you mean on X date they started school and that is when the job goes pt and then plan accordingly? Is that what you mean? This is where my relationship with her is dysfunctional. She will criticize my decision to start school and I even worry she will (maybe even subconsciously) jeopardize the transition process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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Yes, exactly. On January 2, Johnny starts school, so we'll only need you from 3-7. I understand your concerns, but we think it's important for him. Also, there is no "transition process" for her to "jeopardize". Any "transition" will be in the mornings for drop-off, which you will deal with (I assume). What would she do, not pick him up? Tell him that school is for weenies? And, if I may, anyone who thinks that pre-school is unnecessary is not someone whose educational consulting you need to value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:31 PM Flag
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TY. This is very helpful. She can make little snide remarks to kids about school and they are very sensitive to that. She has done this before. She is very good in terms of education and many will agree with her that starting school at 2 is early and perhaps unnecessary and from her perspective she will do a better job with dc than preschool. Frankly part of the reason I decided to go with preschool early is because I want to cut the dependency on the nanny to some extent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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I think you have your answer. You know what you have to do, and you even have a good "excuse" to do it -- kids start school, what can you do? Circle of life, etc. etc. And frankly, she is not an "amazing" nanny if she undermines you. Then she's just a MIL who you pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:25 PM Flag
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You should be a therapist! She is exactly like a MIL whom I pay. I have even made this analogy to my DH. You are so good. Thank you so so much! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:42 PM Flag
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Grow a set, go interview for a replacement, and when you have one, let the old one go, with notice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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I don't need a replacement ASAP. I have a family member who can help for a couple of weeks. I need to figure out how to place this nanny. I can figure out my own situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Not really. It's best to do it up front and honestly. You risk damaging the relationship and the years of memories if you are dishonest at the end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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You think finding her a better paying job without her doing any of the work and then letting her know that I no longer need her but giving her some severance and a better job offer is dishonest and not the nice way to end it? What could be nicer??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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^^ however it is certainly easier for me to just fire her. So if this is the case I will gladly do it this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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This seems really passive aggressive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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Nicer would be saying - I need to make a change for these reasons. But I care about you and respect you and want you to be taken care of and want our parting to be as easy as possible for us all. So I'm going to take it upon myself to find you a new job, so please don't worry. In fact I'm planning to give you a severance and I'm going to make sure you are making at, if not more than, before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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I can not guarantee her a better paying job or any job at all. The statement you wrote makes promises I can not keep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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I just using the info you gave me. Change it to suit your specifics. Use "I'll try" instead of "I will" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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I wanted to find her another position so that she will be guaranteed a better job to make things easier for her. It sounds like most people disagree with this approach so perhaps I am wrong. I would certainly be happy if my employer let me go to a better paying job...I guess I am in the minority [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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I agree with it, but it's hard to swing that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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I don't disagree with it at all. It's doing all the work behind the scenes that's the concern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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But OP can't promise that last part. What if no new employer is found in a reasonable amount of time? What if the new family is terrible and the nanny wants to quit? Better to offer her what you can: our needs have changed, we only need 20 hours a week, would you be willing to stay for $200 less per week? Maybe she will, or she will for a few weeks/months until she finds something better and then OP can find a new housekeeper/nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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op: sounds like this is my best bet. What I will pay her will still be better than nothing and I can tell her I will give her $X as severance when she finds a new job so this should buffer the difference in pay. this is probably the simplest solution for me and it puts job search back on her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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^^ My concern: she will be unhappy and will make me measurable the entire time she is being paid less and she will not look for another job anyway. She does tend to do this IME. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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In that case, if she really has a bad attitude, you could say "Mary, it seems like you are unhappy here. How can we help? Maybe this situation is not working out." And really talk to her. She's been in your family for years, you'll be able to figure out a way to work together or just call it quits, peaceably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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That is the " employer/employee relationship is basically broken" part of it. She gets passive aggressive, will not tell me what is wrong and will just not do the housekeeping or will feed kids candy for snack to get back at me. I know her well enough to anticipate that this is what is going to happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:27 PM Flag
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Then you have to fire her, and use the fact that your youngest is starting school as your "crutch." Be strong. Cut the cord. I was the one who said she was "gold", but honestly, this is dysfunctional and unhealthy. You have to break up with her. You will find another wonderful nanny. If you are really nervous about her, you can change your locks -- $300 bucks for peace of mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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TY. No I do not think she will do anything where I need to change the locks. She is a very good person but is also someone who is used to getting her way and is using female tricks that work on my husbands if you KWIM (pouting, being miserable, snide remarks etc) I can't blame her for her personality... However the dysfunction in unhealthily and is costing me my sanity. I am like a husband with a demanding wife and I don't know how to please her yet I am not satisfied myself even though I love her. If that makes any sense. She is good with the kids but she causes me a lot of grief. You have no idea how helpful you have been by posting your comments. Thank you very much! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Anybody not dealing with clique at preschool? Maybe I don't hang out enough but everyone seems perfectly fine at my preschool. Friendly, wave high/goodbye at drop off and pickup. Seem nice enough at coffee gatherings. Some moms/dad's are better friends but that is a function of already knowing each other. Maybe I will change my mind after the rest of the school year but so far so good. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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Same! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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One year in relatively antisocial WOH mom here. They are all lovely at my preschool. Mostly. A couple do the "don't acknowledge my presence" thing, but when I intervene/interrupt, they are always nice enough. Most others are very nice. Seen some couples for dinner - but more a function of work connections, or music class outside school, or something. I'm sure they can be royal bitches at the PTA, but hey, I'm never there... so why would I even care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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OP: This is how I kind of feel. There are some strange ones but I would never not be friendly. The preschool management is a little intense so I think we have all bonded over the fact we get WAYYYYY too many emails and events to go to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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our preschool was fine like this. most people were nice enough to each other. i heard that some stuff went on for those who were active in the PA, but frankly, i woh so never got involved in those politics. my idea of volunteering was "tell me what you need and i'll get it done" but i'm not going to debate for an hour whether to have a balloon guy or a face painter at the event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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Same here, just started but everyone seems fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Did you seriously just pluralize "moms" correctly and then immediately follow it by using an apostrophe to pluralize "dads"? Am I being punked? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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OP: HA!! I incorrectly use apostrophes all the time. Drives my DH crazy. So consider it half me being cautious and the other half saying F IT! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:19 PM Flag
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"Sometimes you just gotta say, WTF!" :-D [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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I am a WOHM. I have no idea about any of it. I am too busy... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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This is going to sound jerky. My DD has become something of an "it" girl at her expensive pre-school and two SAHMS of very wealthy husbands are constantly pinging me for playdate (not for us adults - just the kids)...I don't want her going this route. I don't like the values of these girls and the moms are not much better. So - I am not terribly vested in connecting w/these mom's. I like the more down to earth ones much more (whether or not they are rich). They are probably annoyed I don't initiate play dates but then it's their call. This year there are some new more "nice" girls in DC's class, and these other buddies got put in the other class...so i'm hoping to gently steer her to new friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:18 PM Flag
[ - ] what are some good online stores to buy discounted runners? No specific brand in mind, Nike etc... type though. And exercise clothes? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Tennis warehouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Who calls them runners? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:11 PM Flag
[ - ] crushes: so i have this very young doctor (late 20's prob). everytime i see him, i am very impressed at his attractiveness. he is a good looking guy, works out a lot so in good shape, good manners, very kind. but i have nothing like a "crush." i have never developed a crush in 13 years since dh and i met. anybody else the same? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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what kind of doctor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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just internal medicine. really nice guy. volunteers at a free clinic for the uninsured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:26 PM Flag
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Very normal but you are in a long line of other women who probably have the same attraction Dr. Charming, who is probably also well aware of the effect he has on the ladies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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why is that lol? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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I have a crush on my pharmacist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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Same, but how else would I feel about the hand that feeds me (xanax)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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Mine is just so damn handsome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:41 PM Flag
[ - ] B*tchy SAHMs: What I've experienced so far in my westchester town in 2 years (only listing nasty experiences): no answer to my play date requests; cancelling play dates last minute; snubbing in 3 way conversations; not acknowledging my presence when passing even after numerous friendly encounters; being half hour late to play date without prior warning; agreeing to meet up for work out class and not showing up without notice; showing up at wrong restaurant and staying there (this was unique); telling me to talk to their nanny for play date with their DC (WOHM) and not having the courtesy to arrange herself. AM I doing something wrong that is unrespectable or is this just classism or SAHM culture. Ugh! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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do you do all sorts of volunteer bullshit at school -- very important to the clique. they are assholes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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LOL this is SO true. Don't even think you have a chance of being a class parent or doing some of the more "fun" or desirable volunteer activities unless you're friends with the PTA queens. They run the school and hand out this shit like political favors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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OP: I am very involved in school volunteer work...but although I know not everyone has manners these disrespectful behavior is making me depressed living in this town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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People are people. It's not been my experience that SAHMs are any more or less kind than WAHMs. If you display this kind of contempt for "SAHM culture," it's very unlikely they'll want you to be part of it, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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1st or: this is true. they are all assholes, sah, wah, woh. there are good people sprinkled here and there but it isn't by work status. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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OP: I just use work status b/c my experience with WOHMs have been great. NO games and will be there when they say they would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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OP: never showed such "hate" for SAHMs. This has been my experience thus far being a SAHM for 1 year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Maybe they just sense that you don't like SAHMs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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She is one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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a lot of this stuff sounds terrible, but i don't think there's anything wrong w a wohm asking you to speak with their nanny. that's pretty much the norm here in the city. as a wohm myself, i usually say - that sounds great, why don't you reach out to my nanny and arrange the details - bc otherwise i make plans that conflict with plans our nanny has already made. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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OP: in that sense it may seem okay but I still think it's a sign of disrespect not to extend the coutesy to arrange it directly with her own nanny. Total power trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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Are you the Korean mom? Didn't we go down this road before? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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what did the korean mom do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:27 PM Flag
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Nothing, lives in westchester. Some of the other SAHMs are not as nice/receptive to her. She has posted about this couple times before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:31 PM Flag
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OP: what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:35 PM Flag
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are you korean, op? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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this!! you keep bringing up the same thing. just ignore the mean girls...they obviously do not want to be your friend. it sucks, but its life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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why do you say classism? are you poorer than your nieghbors? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Home Depot hacked for 56m cards! I'd be surprised if any of us doesn't have a card in the hand of the Russian mafia now. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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my just emailed they're mailing me a new card ....ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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^^^bank [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you be angry if you found out your former nanny (who had since moved into a different line of work) had been carrying a gun the entire time she was with DD? She says it's common in her home country to defend against burglars and rape. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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Too late now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:11 PM Flag
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Get a life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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I would be happy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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Guns do not kill people, people kill people. Evidence: Switzerland where 90% of single family houses have a gun at home has a very low murder rate. Rwanda where no one owns a gun, more than a hundred thousand people decided to murder with machetes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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Do NOT make this in to a racial issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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do NOT tell people that they can't cite stats just because some people involved are black and others are white. blacks commit more violent crimes than whites. deal with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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The Swiss aren't walking around carrying loaded guns. Yes, I'd be mad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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Why don't you think for a moment? All those women who were kidnapped and enslaved in Cleveland would not have been enslaved if they were carrying a gun. Duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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The likelihood of a nanny using a gun to prevent herself from being kidnapped and enslaved while on the job is far, far slimmer than the likelihood that dd gets her hands on it, DUH. For example, a teacher who brought a gun to work for self-defense recently shot up the toilet by accident (not a joke). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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Why would you be angry about something that happened in the past? It must be difficult to be you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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Ignore race for a minute, Certain white people are inherently violent. Glasgow is an essentially all white place and has a high murder rate: Three people out of every hundred thousand. Almost no one in Glasgow has a gun. Vermont is an all white place where most have guns and the murder rate is WAY lower than it is in Glasgow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Glasgow's murder rate is far below that of the average American city, including NYC despite a very poor population. If you want to compare VT to the UK, you need to compare it to a predominantly rural area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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You make a very fair point. I like you. Let's compare apples to apples. El Paso and Glasgow are similarly sized cities. Both are relatively poor cities. El Paso is filled to the brim with gun owners, Glasgow has almost no gun owners. Murder rate is identical [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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gtfo glasgow is identical to el paso. god help scotland. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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A bit freaked out at whay could have happened, but not angry. Especially if she never lied about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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Water under the bridge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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not in the least. i am assuming she knows how to use it and it was legal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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Well no, it was certainly NOT legal in Manhattan, but she doesn't live there anymore, so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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you should tell her to get a taser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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I think she got married to her boyfriend and they moved back to Cape Verde. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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I would be upset if I found out the nanny was committing a serious felony the whole time she was watching DC. What if she had gotten arrested while out at the park? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is deciding between two law firm jobs, one at a big name prestigious firm and one at a lower ranked less presitigious firm that seems like it offers better QOL. Assuming both pay market (although more prestigious firm seems to give better bonuses), which would you choose? DH uncle who is an attorney is pushing him to take the more prestigious offer, saying you dont turn down that firm, and that neither firm is going to have a great QOL anyway so he is better to take the firm that looks best on a resume. But, I wonder if he's more likely to be happy long term at the other firm. Is there really much of a difference between firms? And, UB lawyers, if a firm lists their billable requirement as 2000 is that really what is expected or is it more in practice? I've heard its usually more like 2300 but if that is the case, why do they say 2000? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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because the number 2300 has a whip next to it and they don't want to publish the whip [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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what does that mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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NP. If they say 2000 they can claim to be a lifestyle firm and value work-life balance. If they say 2300 they can't. They want to be a sweatshop but be able to claim to be a lifestyle firm. So they publish 2000 but punish unless you make the unofficial number. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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How old is DH? What are his ambitions. My 2c would be to take the prestige firm - do it for a few years - likely will then have WAY more exit options than if he joins low level firm early in his career. Its ALL about climbing the prestige ladder - you get paid more, and have more, and more senior, exit options at every stage. But, you do have to work to climb that ladder... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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We are both 29. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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Easy. Take the prestigious firm. He can always go the other way but most times a big firm won't look at a lateral from a mid-size firm that isn't coming with a group. It also sounds like this is for a first year job, which makes the decision event easier. Would be a different story if he was a lateral in his mid to late -30s with kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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I would go with the more prestigious firm, which will likely provide him with better exit options. Once he's at the less prestigious firm the purportedly better QOL will likely be thrown out the window anyway (assume they have the work). The billable requirement is typically what is expected -- it's the minimum. Expect to bill more than that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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This x 1 million. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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How old is DH? What are his ambitions. My 2c would be to take the prestige firm - do it for a few years - likely will then have WAY more exit options than if he joins low level firm early in his career. Its ALL about climbing the prestige ladder - you get paid more, and have more, and more senior, exit options at every stage. But, you do have to work to climb that ladder... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:15 PM Flag
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not knowing how much "lower and less prestigious" the other firm is, i would say that in general, if you are at a prestigious firm that works you to the bone and are unhappy, it is relatively easier to move somewhere later where the QOL is in fact better. it's just easier to move "down" than "up" that way. that said, i know people who chose better QOL from the get go - but most of them went to smaller firms or other cities in order to that, not just a less white shoe big law firm. i've heard anecdotally, that the non NYC based big law firms are generally a bit kinder and gnetler, but that info is from pre-2007. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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Join the better firm now. Just like everyone else says. Its worth it. He should expect to slog his guts out for 4+ years... and if he's any good he might even make partner there... which firm, btw? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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dont want to say the firm but he described it as V20. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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you won't exactly be outing yourself. but the consensus in here is solid - join the better firm. every time. because you have better options all round. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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The consensus here is that no one gives a shit about DH's QoL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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The consensus is that he is 29 and you can never undo the decision to start at a mid-size firm. Banker post with contrary example doesn't quite apply the same in law unless he is someone that is cut out to be a rainmaker, in which case the prestige firm can still be a calling card even years down the line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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More pretigious. QOL is the same in almost all NY offices, only difference is that at the less pretigious firms they may pretend to care about you more but the reality is the same. Even firms that are decent places to work in other cities have low QOL in their NYC offices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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I will be the dissident. My DH turned down a better firm in finance for good QOL. It made a huge difference on our home life and also he isn't "burnt out". He was able to establish himself as key player at the lower firm and the money eventually evened itself out. He was able to transfer to a "boutique" finance firm that both pays well and offers good QOL. I think he had an easier in because he wasn't interviewing "down" and he also had stellar educational creds. You will be giving up money and name dropping ability but if you want a DH who can do doctor appointments, pick ups and vacation it's the better road. It also made a difference because I WOHM as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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take the better firm. You can always go down the ladder but rarely up. 2000 is billable hours. Add in a good 250 to 400 for admin, pro bono, papers, events, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Honestly curious: Why is the name Ruby generally well received and even considered cute and hip, while other "jewel" names like Crystal, Diamond, Sapphire and Jade are low class? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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Rudy Huxable? She was cute and hip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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Rudy is not a stone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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It's old fashioned and out of popular use [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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Because too many people are sheep. I find people who get hung up on whether a name is low class or high class are sad and should grow up. When I was a kid, the only 2 cleaning ladies I knew were both named Emma and those were the only Emmas I knew and I thought it was a name that cleaning ladies had (dumb, I know). I wanted to be named Wendy or Jennifer because those were the classiest names I knew. Madge and Blanche were names for moms, and Sophia and Olive were grandmas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:12 PM Flag
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In 8th grade (1982) I knew an Ashleigh, and thought it was such a classy and elegant name. Fast forward to the gazillion Ashleighs, Ashleys, Ashlies, etc. Not at all upscale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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This. Faddish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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This. As a kid, I knew a girl named Elizabeth Ashley (she went by Ashley) and I thought it was a beautiful, classy name. Now, Ashley (and nevermind Ashleigh) is considered trashy. All that's changed are the attitudes. The name sounds the same as it ever did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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What about the Swarthmore Garnets? They are high class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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Ruby is not really much better.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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DH cousin named her DD Ruby and we didnt really consider it cute and hip, we just wrote it off as them living in Texas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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Crystal Carrington... very Texas.... noone said it was classy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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Somehow Ruby is a traditional name and the others are not. Why that is, I can't say. Jade is kind of neutral to me, but unfortunatley the other 3 sound like stripper stage names. Pearl is also a traditional name. Who knows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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Pearl was DH's great-aunt, died before he was born, I think in the 1950s. So a late 19th century name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Pearl is very Jewish shtetl-to-NYC name of the last century. "Pearl" was the Anglicized version of my current ethnic name, and I'm glad my parents chose to keep it old school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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I think it's terribly dated, but it's also the name of someone I respect tremendously. So go for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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i like crystal and amber. some people like opal. the other are weird, not lc. never met a diamond or sapphire. jade is sort of odd and too much like jaded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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I always think of Kenny Rogers when I hear the name Ruby [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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And now Kenny sounds like a low-class name, too. Or maybe a lower middle class name. In fact, anyone who think a name is low or high class is just deluding themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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Ruby Begonia! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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Naming trends are fickle. The "old fashioned" names that are in vogue right now are just as trendy as Jennifer was in the 80s and as Susan was in the 40s. They all eventually make a comeback. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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Ruby and Sapphire are both AA names from Amos & Andy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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Ruby is traditional, lots of old ladies named that. Never met an old lady named diamond [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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You forgot the name "Jewel". There was a very classy "Jewel" a few years older than me when I was growing up. She was the midwest prom princess type. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:21 PM Flag
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And who could forget the singer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.18.14, 09:26 PM Flag
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