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[ - ] wow - is it possible that the moderator cleared up the morning spam? or has spammer slept in? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:05 PM Flag
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^^^ and now she is awake, see below [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:05 PM Flag
[ - ] HELP! My kids activities are sucking the joy out of my life and I only have two DSs. I love watching them play and practice sports on the weekend and want to go to their games, but there is no time left for me on weekends. I can workout at crack of dawn outside if the weather is permitting (gym doesn't even open until 8 on weekends) or evenings, but I'm too tired then. They are only 7 and 9 so cannot go to events alone. How do I find balance? Parents who have BTDT, please share advice? Btw, we live downtown. We only sign up for local activities, but due to limited indoor space, we schlep farther than I would like (which takes more time and / or $ for cabs) and there is the occasional all day out of town tournament where I or DH take one child and the stays in the city with the other....bottom line, no breaks for either of us. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 10:06 AM Flag
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I feel the same way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:17 AM Flag
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limit them to one organized sport or activity that is not an after school only thing. its simple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:35 AM Flag
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It's too late for you, but you should tell this to every 25yo who is thinking about getting married and having children. There is a long stretch in parenthood when pretty much everything is driven by the kids' wants and needs, and if you don't actually enjoy doing all of those things, it is soul-sucking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:54 AM Flag
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LOL. I'm not sure about this. There needs to be some kind of balance between the needs of the children and the needs of the parents. Does your 9 year old really want to go to tournaments, or does he just like doing the sport during the week, and would that be an option? Or can you hire a weekend sitter sometimes, so the person in the city with the younger children can at least get to the gym that day and grocery shop, etc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Oscar party costume help(!). I need to dress up as a nominee character. Tia 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:50 AM Flag
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wear a gold dress and mask and go as oscar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:37 AM Flag
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What are your choices? Who/what were nominated? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:56 AM Flag
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reese witherspoon in wild - backpack, shorts, blonde hair, little to no makeup? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you remember an 80's band called "Lone Justice" whose schtick was bringing country influences into pop-rock? I think they were actually one of Jimmy Iovine's projects, oddly enough. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:31 AM Flag
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Yep, loved them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:39 AM Flag
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not at all. how you doin, 80s music woman? who is your favorite? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:40 AM Flag
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The Sound and The Chameleons. Examples: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYNHjmnlZbA (Chameleons - Swamp Thing). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhYe468zIc8 (The Sound - Hotthouse, 1981 BBC version) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:48 AM Flag
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i like it. the second, hmmm, sounds like, hmmm, smiths? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:01 AM Flag
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Well, The Smiths didn't actually release any records until two years later, in 1983. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:05 AM Flag
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but do you think on the same wavelength? not quite sure. i wasn't THAT in on the music scene. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:10 AM Flag
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In a sense. At the time, it was seen as being somewhat close to the "Factory Records" scene, which was an English record label that distributed a lot of acts in the "post-punk" vein. Joy Division were their biggest stars at the time. I think they were compared at the time to the Comsat Angels perhaps more than anyone else, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:17 AM Flag
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yeah, that was a tad bit before my time. very good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:17 AM Flag
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song? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:05 PM Flag
[ - ] A guy threatened to rape me earlier tonight. When I yelled at him to stop, another woman who was there told me to relax and take it easy because people have rape fantasies and there's no need to overreact about them. A couple of other men who were there helped me immediately and got me to safety. When I told the woman to shut the fuck up, she told me that I was crazy and reacting really badly and I should just relax. The men made sure I was safe and kept that guy from me. So much for feminism and the sisterhood. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:21 AM Flag
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Where the hell were you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:23 AM Flag
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Bar/club. And I was completely sober and not wearing any short skirt or low-cut top. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:24 AM Flag
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You have a right to wear whatever the hell you want and not be raped. I'm just trying to imagine the scenario where a guy would threaten to rape you in a public place and you'd need help from strangers. The woman was an idiot and probably drunk. I don't think that makes her an indictment of the entire notion of sisterhood/feminism. I'm sorry you had that experience and I imagine you're pretty traumatized by it right now. Thankfully, you weren't raped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:28 AM Flag
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No, I'm increasingly finding that this whole notion of feminism and sisterhood and liberty gets dragged out by other women only in certain situations where the victimized person does not happen to infringe upon some nebulous idea of sex-positivity and sexual liberation. Nowadays, young women care more about being 'sex-positive' and affirming of all sexuality and what not rather than simply and clearly advocating for a woman's right to not be harmed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:32 AM Flag
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Ah, well, I'm not by any stretch a young woman so I can't comment on that. As for us old women, I'll say I'm glad you weren't raped and I don't believe any man has the right to have sex with you against your will at any point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:40 AM Flag
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Thanks for your good wishes. But you really need to be paying attention to what's going on these days with young women and their attitudes towards sex and rape. In as much as they make a big fuss about feminism these days, it's actually largely on men's terms. A lot of what your generation worked for will be rolled back eventually once these young women get more economic and political power. Read the commenter below. She gets it. You cannot afford to be dismissive or casual about what is happening with this generation of girls and women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:42 AM Flag
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Oh, I pay attention - and it keeps me up at night. I have two dds and I frequently break out in a cold sweat thinking about them giving some random skanky guy in middle school a BJ after all the effort, time, money, and blood I have put into parenting them. They are worth so much more than that and it kills me to think that one day none of that will matter. It's one of the reasons I raise them in a small conservative town. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:58 AM Flag
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Please be VERY careful about the college you send them to. In my personal experience, they pick up all this submissive and rapist-enabling shit in college. And guess what's even more disturbing? The MOST extreme, bizarre and crazy girls I've met who are the most into sexually servicing men these days are the ones who identify as FEMINISTS and have taken a lot of WOMENS STUDIES classes! Today, young 20-something feminists on college campuses are the most loud and enthusiastic advocates of extremely degrading sex and they even enjoy simulating being raped. Just look up sex-positive feminism. It's the latest bullshit that millenial girls have come up with. And of course even though they love to proclaim how feminist they are, ultimately they're just serving men to give them pleasure. And it's modern-day womens studies that support all this. Tons of colleges and universities today have BDSM Clubs on CAMPUS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:06 AM Flag
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I'm actually thinking about sending them to an all-girls college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:11 AM Flag
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lots of lesbian affairs but also, lots of affairs with profs. they ain't nuns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:13 AM Flag
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Just make sure that whatever college you send them to does not have a BDSM club and the womens studies department is not populated by sex-positive kooks. A lot of feminist academics these days are strong advocates for prostitution and pornography. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:18 AM Flag
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Troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:57 AM Flag
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Fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:57 AM Flag
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young women are now all about sexual freedom and liberty. they are tarded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:25 AM Flag
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Yeah, except what about MY sexual freedom and liberty?? So according to these stupid girls, I shouldn't have any but the asshole who wants to rape me gets all of it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:28 AM Flag
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they'll just say you're horribly repressed. that's why we have that f-ed up duke girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:30 AM Flag
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THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. I'm really hoping you weren't there or some creepy shit like that. This is uncanny as fuck. That is EXACTLY what she said. She was this young girl of like maybe 21 or 22 or something and she had this contemptuous air about her and she talked to me like she was trying to calm down a crazy person. Except that some nutjob had just threatened to rape me. And this stupid bitch kept telling me to relax and that rape fantasies were totally common. And then at one point, she said that I was really repressed and prudish. What the fuck? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:35 AM Flag
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i guess i have them pegged. they are fucktarded. i try to instill a sense of decency in sexual mores in my dd6. you have to ignore the idiot millenials. i am hoping it's just a phase, though, and dd won't have trouble finding normal boyfriends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:42 AM Flag
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How did you figure this out actually? How did you figure out that they're bizarrely obsessed with some idea of total sexual 'freedom' regardless of how harmful and destructive it actually is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:45 AM Flag
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it's just the natural progression. first, dumb girls in rich burbs letting guys from other burbs or maybe even their high school(!) randomly drive by for group bjs. that's supposed to be empowering because now you're enjoying sex just for sex and not as a proxy for emotional investments, etc. seriously, that was a wtf moment for me. then, the whole fwb evolution. then the whole, "girls in college and in their 20s don't have boyfriends, just hookups." then the "girls watch porn" revolution. then the "me can't get it up with girls anymore because they are so used to f-ed up hardcore porn." then finally, the duke chick who is claiming it is empowering to be a "sex worker" and is doing all this stupid shit just so she can get choked and banged by some radom 50 yo. and doing the "sex factor." young women have gone to hell in a hand basket. i will just die if my dd ever became like any of these girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:51 AM Flag
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Oh my god. I am not one to hug people but honestly, I could just hug you right now. All this stupid talk from young women these days about 'feminism' and 'empowerment' is just such total massive fucking bullshit. EVERYTHING they do is actually, ultimately, only empowering to men. We're living in the bdsm and rough sex generation. You're considered a feminist hero if you enjoy being hit and choked and slapped. You're considered a horrible prude if you don't love to have a man do anal sex on you or choke you with his dick. And the stupid bitch who tried to criticize me tonight is just another one of these idiots. This generation considers it 'subversive' to do anything some crazy man wants. And you're so totally right: the generation of girls who serviced boys with blowjobs in schools have now grown up into the generation of women who love what they now call 'rape play' aka simulating acts of rape during sex. Yes this is actually a thing now among girls in their late teens and early 20s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:01 AM Flag
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it's very sad. i think porn stars say it used to be people would sort of look at them with stars in their eyes -- they were celebrities. but now, there's free porn everywhere and they've just become these like cheap pieces of meat. men just feel entitled to grab them and paw them whenever they see them on the circuit or something. one of them sounds halfway intelligent. yet, i know, she does these crazy f-ed up porn scenes and she will likely never get a "normal" job. i fear for these girls. but alas, i also see it in the divorced 40s women who date and say things like, "if you don't put out the first night, they're gone." i'm like, "well, you want to get rid of those, don't you?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:08 AM Flag
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i think porn is a huge part of the problem. it's so prevalent that men start to think that shit is normal and pressure girls into doing it. then girls start thinking they're progressive because they let themselves be degraded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:13 AM Flag
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i agrees. but i guess that's internet for ya. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:15 AM Flag
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College campuses are another huge factor. Many college campuses have BDSM clubs these days and many womens studies departments in colleges encourage and promote promiscuity and degrading sex as sex-positive and liberating and what not. Today's womens studies courses are very different from what they used to be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:15 AM Flag
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well, another reason to avoid that major. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:18 AM Flag
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unfortunately the women who major in womens studies are the ones who will be deciding the feminist agenda for years to come and they are going to drag us all backwards into their cesspool of porn and degrading sex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:21 AM Flag
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womyn's studies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:44 AM Flag
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There are personals everywhere on online dating sites from men openly saying they don't have time for a relationship right now but they would love to just get together and hang out. It's become almost like a business transaction now. I wouldn't be surprised if that becomes the next step for a lot of millenial girls. They're already furiously proclaiming how prostitution is actually empowering to women. There's tons of young feminist bloggers and speakers on college campuses who talk about how prostitution is safe and healthy for women. So the next step after hookup culture would likely be for girls to start prostituting themselves in the name of being liberated and not prudish at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:13 AM Flag
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they are "sex workers." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:14 AM Flag
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Yes. And the popular politically correct thinking now is that these sex workers are "empowered" strong women who don't need to be 'rescued' by any man. And of course, a lot of male liberal arts academics are very happy to agree in the name of looking progressive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:20 AM Flag
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Fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:56 AM Flag
[ - ] How do I spin without hurting my back? I like the cardio but hate the back thing? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:00 AM Flag
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strengthen your core [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Is pain just an illusion? I was reading about a guy who cut open his own abdomen and removed his own appendix with crude tools and some mirrors in an isolated area, and he said that once he committed to doing it "no matter what," the pain wasn't so bad. It was at its very worst during moments of mental hesitation, but once he convinced himself that "this will succeed," it did. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:48 AM Flag
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That guy was schizophrenic wasn't he? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:59 AM Flag
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he was dealing with obamacare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:14 AM Flag
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what is it with you and obamacare? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:17 AM Flag
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I think it was Kennedy era, so, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:20 AM Flag
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it is just a nerve reaction. it is real but it cannot physically hurt you if you avoid going into shock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:32 AM Flag
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Link? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:58 AM Flag
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Sounds like a hoax. How did he manage to control the bleeding and not get a massive infection, performing surgery alone and in those conditions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:59 AM Flag
[ - ] My 11 yr old dd is still jealous and angry about her sister - who is now 3. . . she feels like her life was better before her sister was born. . .Is this normal? What should I do? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:17 AM Flag
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get her a dog [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:19 AM Flag
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book - Siblings Without Rivalry. Large age spread is tough, she's nearing puberty and 3 yo is undoubtedly getting a lot more time and attention from you and everyone else. Make sure to spend one-on-one time just with older dd, let her see you sometimes telling younger dd that older comes first at that moment (i.e. "No, I can't play dolls with you, I promised to do XYZ with older dd.") Make sure to treat 11 yo like 11 yo, not as helper/babysitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:26 AM Flag
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Thanks - I'll get the book. . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:30 AM Flag
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I hated having siblings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:30 AM Flag
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Do they have the same dad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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yes - we just waited a long time! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:32 AM Flag
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Totally normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:01 AM Flag
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it was better before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:15 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Tips on flying alone with 2 DCs, 5yo and 2.5yo? Not worried about keeping them entertained, but how best to pack, handle carry-ons to make airport least stressful, do I need that harness seatbelt thingy for the 2yo, what should I bring or definitely not bring? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:10 AM Flag
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Check bags at curb, both dc carry little backpacks, you have bag with many snacks, books, crayons and treats. 2.5 should be fine in seatbelt. Check carseat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:28 AM Flag
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Thanks. Would you bring an umbrella stroller and gate-check it. Don't think I'll need it on other end, but is it helpful / worth it in the airport, or more of a pain? Also, can I bring milk for them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:33 AM Flag
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Np. I always too McLarren umbrella stroller and left it in the front plane [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:36 AM Flag
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Np whats in the little backpacks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:35 AM Flag
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np toys they've never seen before + a few old favorites, little snacks, jacket and or blankie, etc etc etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:04 AM Flag
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+1. I like idea of gate checking umbrella stroller. Buy milk and/or water after you get thru security. Be sure to dress dc in comfy clothes (pull on pants, layers (shirt + sweatshirt, etc) and shoes they can run in. Preview airport etiquette with them a few days ahead ("We'll get to go thru a security line & you have to stay with Mommy while she takes her shoes. You'll watch your backpack go for a ride. Everyone goes potty before we get on the plane" etc, etc) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:23 AM Flag
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And let each dc pick a few things for their backpacks and add some extra surprises (new toys and some snacks). In your carryon and in checked bags, pack dc's complete outfits in large ziplocs to simplify. Dirties can go in bags. In your carryon, take change for each dc & shirt for you. DC's might be amused by finding own wipes/Kleenex/etc in their bags. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:27 AM Flag
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Tell Dc they must stay with you at all times. Train older dc to put hand on stroller in airport. At gate, run dc around using games--race to window & back, etc. Enlist older dc in helping you wear out younger dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:30 AM Flag
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Ship what you need by Fed-Ex. Rent car with car seats, ask for assistance ahead of time. One umbrella stroller with carrier. Get each dc a backpack; only have a carry-on. I hope where you are going has stores, otherwise, you shouldn't be going there. On JetBlue? Check winter coats at JFK. Have nanny go with you to airport, you can get her a pass to go to gate with you too, Take DVD player or ipad with movies. Each dc has their own player with headsets, they will love it. Have fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:33 AM Flag
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OP: tell me more about coat check (only for jet blue though? Not flying them) and about this pass to go to the gate. Could a family member get the pass? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:37 AM Flag
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Yes, you can get a gate pass from airline for family member so they can help you. I only know JetBlue re coats. Makes it so easy, you won't be cold coming home. Car service could pick up coats from doorman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 08:58 AM Flag
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Get a car service that picks you up inside, at baggage claim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Why does UB hate single mothers? I became one by choice, and then (to my surprise) found the right guy and got married. 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:06 AM Flag
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b/c your path doesn't fit the fairy tale plot line [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:07 AM Flag
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When did you meet DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:07 AM Flag
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OP: Met before first DC, and started a relationship after. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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hate? I think it makes people fearful that it could happen to them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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OP: Sometimes it happens. People aren't perfect, and we all hear the tick-tick-tick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:10 AM Flag
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No we don't all hear it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:48 AM Flag
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Because fathers (or mothers) are not disposable. Yeah, shit happens, but to intentionally start out depriving a child of a significant need is selfish. It would be the same if you decided that, even though you can't support a child, you intentionally get pregnant anyway, assuming it will all work out. Congratulations. It did for you, but it won't for most. Children need a good mother and a good father. They don't always get it, but they need it. And to start out without half of that because you want a baby to fulfill your fantasies is pretty damn selfish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:11 AM Flag
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Yet there are so many terrible mothers and fathers in the world. But assume a loving, caring, educated, smart, $$$ stable mother who actually can provide a better home than 90% or more of people in the US. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:17 AM Flag
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^ and the pairs w/ one great parent and one terrible one -- who do you think affects DC more? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:18 AM Flag
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You'd have a point if you were adopting a child who'd otherwise suffer -- but to create a life -- and going to great expense and trouble to do so -- knowing that no matter how great a parent you are, the child will likely suffer from a lack of a father is selfish. Because here's the thing: your kid may be better off than a kid born to two teenagers in bumfuck, kentucky but she will not be better off than a child born to a sane, stable, two parent family. And you know it. And you choose it. We're not talking about being careless and getting knocked up. That happens and you make the best of it. It's the calculating nature of it that makes it so selfish. You don't care what's best for the kid. You care what you *want*. A baby is not an accessory or a toy to take away your feelings of loneliness or a means to provide you fulfillment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:24 AM Flag
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Oh STFU. Have you read on this board how many couples with very young children are divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:35 AM Flag
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Or not divorced but awful, high tension, alcoholics/users, mental illness etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:39 AM Flag
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I'd say the same to a woman who had a child with an alcoholic/man with mental illness, etc. saying that OP's kid will be better off than a kid born to an alcoholic is not really setting the bar very high, now is it? I'll concede: A woman who intentionally has a child with a man who is not capable of being a good father is selfish. That doesn't make OP less selfish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:48 AM Flag
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Many if not most of those who post here about DHs with mental illness say the problems came out after DCs were born. Is it selfish to have a kid with someone who has mental illness in their family? Obesity in their family? Other known genetic problems? Selfish to have a kid who you know from testing may have an abnormality? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:58 AM Flag
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Those are all maybes/unknowns. There are many cases of good parents from bad families. If you know beforehand that your dh will be a shitty parent and you intentionally have a baby anyway, yes, that's selfish. There is no question or doubt about the fact that not having a father will negatively impact a child -- so yes, it's selfish. You care more about what you want (a cute baby) than what is best for that baby (two sane, stable loving parents). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:08 AM Flag
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Where do you get there is no question or doubt? Even if you're talking statistics, there are huge numbers of kids who will not be adversely impacted at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:16 AM Flag
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You seriously believe there are "huge numbers" of kids who will not feel the lack of a parent at all? I imagine any psychiatrist will be glad to enlighten you about the important role parents play in children's development. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:24 AM Flag
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I'll buck convention and say that if a kid is born into a stable, loving, supportive and very involved extended family, it's not that important whether there are the traditional two parents. They need a connected family structure but the specifics of it are not as black and white as you portray. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:29 AM Flag
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you are deluding yourself if you think a child is not going to feel the lack of a father. this apparently worked out for OP since she met a great guy who presumably acts as a father to her db. however, that was a big chance -- much like counting on a lottery ticket to pay the mortgage. any child who does not have a father (or a mother) for whatever reason is going to be adversely affected by that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:45 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:46 AM Flag
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Yes, I understand that's your opinion. IME, it is incorrect when there is extended family involvement. Those kids are just fine. I suppose you think gas couples having kids are selfish for the same reasons, as they are "missing" a parent of the opposite sex. We simply disagree (though I am straight and married). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:52 AM Flag
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Yes, I do (about gays). I have no problem with gays and I think many gay couples would make better parents than lots of heterosexual couples. And IRL, I'd never be anything but supportive if my gay friends had a baby. However, yes, I think anyone bringing a child into this world with a strike against them is selfish. And there is no way you can tell me that having a single parent or a gay couple for parents is not a strike against them. Or having an alcoholic parent or a dick for a father... it's all the same. It's caring more about yourself and your wants than the child that will result. Now, I wholeheartedly embrace single parents/gay couples adopting children. There is no question that children like the poster below (I had an abusive mother) would be far better off with any loving person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:02 AM Flag
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As mentioned, we fundamentally disagree. No point arguing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:17 AM Flag
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you are deluding yourself if you think a child is not going to feel the lack of a father. this apparently worked out for OP since she met a great guy who presumably acts as a father to her db. however, that was a big chance -- much like counting on a lottery ticket to pay the mortgage. any child who does not have a father (or a mother) for whatever reason is going to be adversely affected by that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:45 AM Flag
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ITD. For a mom who has the resources to do it alone and is doing so by choice, outcomes should be fine. I've seen a lot of two-parent families where one parent was more of a detriment than a benefit, and there isn't always a pat way to know in advance which it'll be. So the idea of the unselfish legitimate parent vs the irresponsible single person living out a fantasy is inaccurate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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Better to give life than not, lol. And I'm pro choice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:37 AM Flag
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i agree if she found herself knocked up. but she didn't. she intentionally created a life knowing that her child would be missing out on a major element of a healthy childhood. it would be the same if a woman decided to have a kid to "save" her troubled marriage with an alcoholic husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:41 AM Flag
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I don't think anyone "hates" single mothers. I just don't think any sane person thinks it's the ideal. You are entitled to do it and it's wonderful that it worked out so well, but in a perfect world every child would have a mother and a father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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It will be interesting to see how a generation of kids without fathers will develop. It's like a bad science experiment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:35 AM Flag
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Do people have no sense of history? Many groups and many periods of time have had either no fathers or fathers who were absent for months or years at a time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:42 AM Flag
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What about a lifetime? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:45 AM Flag
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"No fathers or..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:54 AM Flag
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you got your answer., and it's not pretty. Many of these women fall back to arguments like, "everybody knows that kids are worse off without 2 straight parents," but there is NO evidence that an otherwise stable and loving home does a disservice to children if the home isn't a modern American ideal of an xx chromosome adult and an xy chromosome adult. My hunch Is that the women who write such things have a significant emotional attachment to their situation. Most likely, they stay with their husbands for money and safety and the reality that otherwise they'd be forever alone (and if you don't believe it, read what they say about their DH's). Almost as likely: any threat to their princess fantasy is disturbing. By the way, if you've watched any Disney, parents always die in the first 15 minutes, and those kids turn into durable main characters. Much was the same for most of human history. Anyone who automatically criticizes you for your choice or who feels sorry for your child is not worth your time. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:24 AM Flag
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Oh, yes. Let's do turn to Disney movies as an example of how to parent effectively. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:32 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:26 AM Flag
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Your life, your choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:21 AM Flag
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Well, it's not just her life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:25 AM Flag
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hate you? we pity you. raise a child on your own, mon dieu! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:43 AM Flag
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an interesting site. jason richwine. didn't think i'd be seeing his name there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 07:01 AM Flag
[ - ] It's crazy how Kevin Federline ended up making something like $6.5 million off of that absurd album of his from 2006. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:04 AM Flag
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And all the child support and alimony he got from Britney. Blech. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:07 AM Flag
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it's Britney BITCH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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She was addicted to him but don't you know, he was toxic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:13 AM Flag
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Britney's alimony faucet stopped when he remarried. Good for him for moving on with his magical sperm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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The one slightly amazing thing about him is how fertile he is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:59 AM Flag
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Some idiots get lucky, so strange [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:15 AM Flag
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He's like the male WT version of some bimbo who posts here about how her goal is to be married to a top-tier dh by the time she's 30 so that she can get pregnant and be set for life with his $. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:18 AM Flag
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Exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:38 AM Flag
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Wtf. Luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:19 AM Flag
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What's even crazier is The Situation allegedly failing to pay proper taxes on $9 million in income. How does someone lame like that make $9 million? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:23 AM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:31 AM Flag
[ - ] How do I get myself to exercise outdoors in the cold? I need the fresh air for my mental health, yet I can't seem to go outside when it is cold. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:57 AM Flag
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exercise may be a bit ambitious. How about you just walk to the store? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:59 AM Flag
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OP: Oh, that is what I meant! I become a shut-in during winter since I WAHM. I order groceries on line and just never venture outside [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:05 AM Flag
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make it an errand you want to do. Go to a coffee shop. Get a glass of wine. Schedule something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:07 AM Flag
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the right gear is the key. Get something from a running store. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:02 AM Flag
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Get a dog that needs to be walked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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Exercising in the cold burns more calories! I think it's more interesting, you won't feel cold for long, and esp not once you return home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:39 AM Flag
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move to dallas. loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:44 AM Flag
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Fake it til you make it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 12:01 PM Flag
[ - ] My cat is so cute and puffy and furry! He's very fluffy! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:55 AM Flag
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i have a fuzzy cat. she is purrfect [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:56 AM Flag
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Esl? Jk I lurve cats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:56 AM Flag
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Stuff under my toe nails stinks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:42 AM Flag
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i like the oriental breed. high IQ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Does your DC have a cell phone ? Type of phone, features and what age ? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:44 AM Flag
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DD age 10.5, iPhone 5C, voice and text only ( no data ). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:46 AM Flag
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dc (dear cat) has iphone 6+ its as big as she is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:56 AM Flag
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No. 7. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Can we talk about Monica's tiny eyebrows? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:40 AM Flag
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Monica? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:56 AM Flag
[ - ] I have an article due on monday, and my story isn't coming together like it should. I'm sick, I want to sleep, but need to at least get a draft done tonight. What are your tips for just banging this sht out? (i have a cold, so I'm reluctant to drink caffeine, but maybe I'm a pussy?) 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:31 AM Flag
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Hot shower and 1/2 cup of coffee.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:34 AM Flag
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I like the shower idea. I'm having anxiety sweats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:34 AM Flag
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Np. I always do the shower [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:16 AM Flag
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just put your head down and do it. don't worry about making it good, just get words on paper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:35 AM Flag
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this is what editors are for, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:36 AM Flag
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please say yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:36 AM Flag
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no. this is what second drafts are for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:12 AM Flag
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you're really bursting my bubble here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:18 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:40 AM Flag
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Or go to sleep NOW and get up at 5am, slam coffee. Do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:38 AM Flag
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5 am is when my dd wakes up. She's 2 and bangs on my computer keys. night time is best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:38 AM Flag
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i'm exagerating. she starts crying "mommy" at 5:30. I go get her at 6. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:39 AM Flag
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Set your timer for 30 minutes and get started NOW. stop when timer goes off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:39 AM Flag
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I'm going to shower first because I'm a sweaty mess, and then bang this shit out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:40 AM Flag
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Me too. Tried waking up at 5 today to beat the kids, but of course they were up by 5:40. Ahhhhhhh!!!! I have to start staying up at night to work, but I hate, hate, hate doing it, and really prefer working in the morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:44 AM Flag
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OMG, I'm also working on something for early next week and have no f*cking idea what to write. I'm going with coffee and just making some shit up, I'm half-joking. GL!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:40 AM Flag
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one of my sources bailed on me. I'm tempted to make something up too. I'm hoping budget cuts killed fact checking in 2015. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:41 AM Flag
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np. Oh just post your question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:53 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:57 AM Flag
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Adrenal, or straterra [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:17 AM Flag
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Just sit down and write something, you can revise later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:40 AM Flag
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Plan your reward after it is done and look forward to it. Always works for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:22 AM Flag
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So need tips for this. About to go into a super intense period for work, and have to just produce and not worry....Keeping all the journalists out there with firm deadlines in place will really help me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 11:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Who should I call for balloon decorations in Brooklyn? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:30 AM Flag
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Google [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:34 AM Flag
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I'm a professional balloon artist. :D Want my number? *creepy face* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:48 AM Flag
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Twisty the clown [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:04 AM Flag
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Party city [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:02 AM Flag
[ - ] I had a really shitty childhood. Most days I am okay, but every few months I go through a depression that last around 5-10 days. I feel like that isn't enough time to need medication to deal with it, but I don't know how to get out of that rut. Anybody else go through something similar? 63 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:30 AM Flag
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no, but I think a support group could be good for this. If you find the right group, they may be what steadies you and what you can lean on to get you through that rough patch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:34 AM Flag
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Op: I speak with my therapist twice a week (once in person, once in a phone session) and it is so draining. I worry a support group would be worse, but I have thought about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:38 AM Flag
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I think try it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:49 AM Flag
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This is me. I finally got on meds about three years ago and it changed my life. I didn't realize how much the cloud was always hanging over my head. Also, therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:37 AM Flag
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Op: Someone I know said almost the exact same thing you did. Maybe I'm the same and the fog is worse than I think. Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:39 AM Flag
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It's hard work to overcome childhood abuse. I'm well/respected and well-liked but filled with self-loathing and feelings of rejection. I know alllllllllll the shit in my head but my soul is tortured. Came a long way in young adulthood but becoming a parent opened up lots of stuff. It's real, and don't let anyone tell you differently. Take care of yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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I'm the one whose head her mother shaved. I feel exactly the same!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:48 AM Flag
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And I'm stuck into perpetually being a "young" person. I don't know who I am, what I want to do and when I'm extremely good at something I sabotage everything because I don't believe things should be working out for me, almost as if I don't deserve to do well. I'm afraid of success. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:50 AM Flag
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PP- yep... I totally get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 06:30 AM Flag
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Shitty how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:38 AM Flag
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Op: extremely abusive mother- physically, emotionally. She dated a lot of men who abused me, too. Once I even told her and her response was to let the guy move in. So I started locking my doors at night- he told her it was a fire hazard so she had the lock removed. She faked my birth certificate and social security card because she didn't want people to know I was born out of wedlock, so I move away after high school and it took me years to get my real BC and SSN because I didn't know my real name, she wouldn't tell me, and there was no proof I existed. When I was in college she found out I was gay and emptied my bank account and shut off my phone. She also stole my identity and when I finally got my real name and info I was in so much debt that I didn't even know about. So much more that I won't go in to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:43 AM Flag
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Wow. I am terribly sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:50 AM Flag
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You single? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:50 AM Flag
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Op: no, I am not single. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:03 AM Flag
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Too bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:12 AM Flag
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Np ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:18 AM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:20 AM Flag
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Op:....? Why is that too bad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:26 AM Flag
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Ok. You have a legitimate shitty childhood. My best advice for you is to move on. You're not gaining anything by dwelling over this. Create a happy life for yourself and enjoy it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:51 AM Flag
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Op: that's the problem. I feel like I have moved on. I lead a normal life, normal relationship. But every once in a while I go through a hard time where I don't want to get out of bed, extremely emotional. I still get up and go to work but it takes everything in me to do so. It happens a few times a year- one of the times is always around the holiday season. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:05 AM Flag
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Poster above who got in meds 3 years ago- I swear I could have cried the the first time I realized the static was gone. I remember thinking, "this is what normal people feel like." In not an emotional zombie and even now have hard times (the holidays are difficult for many of us w f-ed up childhoods) but it's an overall gain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:12 AM Flag
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Bi polar? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:13 AM Flag
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No. Just severely damaged. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:15 AM Flag
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Op: yes- someone else just said this to me. Wow. I have been terrified to be medicated because two friends had bad experiences. This is making me feel better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:27 AM Flag
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You did have a shitty childhood; however, I had a decent childhood and the same thing happens to me. I just came out of a funk like this. It happens to me a couple of times a year no matter my circumstances -- when my life was shitty and when it was great. I just go through periods where it's like nothing will make me happy. I sit around thinking, "what would make me happy right now?" or think about all I have to be grateful for and ... nothing... I just have to wait it out. So it may not be your childhood. Also, to me, meds aren't worth it because most of the time I'm fine and meds have significant side effects. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:16 AM Flag
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Op: it's a little different than that. I go through massive anxiety attacks during these periods, burst in to tears multiple times a day, google all of my family members, etc. Different than a normal funk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:28 AM Flag
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If it significantly affects the quality of your life, then medication is worth a try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:52 AM Flag
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This is a gift. Write a story about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:55 AM Flag
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It's not a gift, not at all. But like she said. Turn shit into flowers, and possibly write a story about it? grow from it, use it to your advantage. (Not everyone is a writer.) Tell your story and help others? Good luck. Stay strong. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:59 AM Flag
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Op: thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:06 AM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:11 AM Flag
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Op: I wouldn't call it a gift. I used to write often about it, but sometimes it made it worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:06 AM Flag
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Wow. So sorry. I had a similar situation, but not as bad. I'm familiar with the cycles. It usually seems that mine are brought on by the accumulation of stress in daily life. Like I suddenly can't "tune out" the undercurrent of not being completely OK in the world. My solution is usually physical- exercise, yoga, travel, etc. Like moving my body keeps me from feeling like a sitting duck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:55 AM Flag
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Op: I work out almost every day so I don't think it changes my cycles :( I think the biggest problem is that I don't know what triggers it. I mean- I do sometimes. The other day I saw a woman hit her child on the bus and I dwelled in sadness over it for a few days. But other times it just happens and I don't know why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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Wow, this is terrible. I too had an abusive mother, she shaved my head after my brother and I played barber and a chopped my brother's bangs off. I didn't mean to screw it up, I must have been around. 6 and we were home alone. My brother was 4.5. My mom came home late, she came to my bed, I gave her a hug while she lifted me and took me to the bathroom. There, she placed me on the counter and shaved my hair off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:21 AM Flag
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^^ I have not hugged my mother since [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:22 AM Flag
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Op: my mom did things like that, too. I once accidentally pulled the cats tail (I was probably around 6) and she dragged me around by one leg for the rest of the night in response. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:29 AM Flag
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Omg! I pulled the cat's tail and she dragged me by my braids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:31 AM Flag
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^^^^ I am battling depression. I've been in bed for the last 5 years. I have bpd, supposedly. I hate myself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:32 AM Flag
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Op: I'm so sorry. I wish we could know each other in real life and be friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:35 AM Flag
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Me too :((( Its so hard for me to function. I have a wonderful partner and a dc but I never leave my bed much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:43 AM Flag
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Op: did she ever explain to you why she was doing things? Like, "I'm shaving your head because you cut your brothers hair?" My mom didn't- I had to figure it out by myself. If so, do you know what was wrong with your mom? I still don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:34 AM Flag
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Perhaps she did, it was obvious though. She was so revengeful. I remember running away during our time at a beach resort, looking for a new mom. A young couple found me onthe street in the rain and I really just wanted to stay w them forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:45 AM Flag
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^^^ I'm trying strattera now. Everything I've tried ( Prozac, Wellbutrin, lamictal, Celexa caused tremendous hair loss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:47 AM Flag
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Yep, except it's most days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 04:49 AM Flag
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Op: I'm sorry. I used to feel like that, too, until I started therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:08 AM Flag
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Good for you (: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:12 AM Flag
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In similar shoes as you. I don't think it's something you get over, though you can create work-arounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:03 AM Flag
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Op: have you tried medication? I also have anxiety that I have thought about medication for, but for some reason it terrifies me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:09 AM Flag
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Yes, with a good psychiatrist. Benzos, multiple SSRIs, Wellbutrin, some more exotic stuff. Honestly, over time finding a good therapist, exercising, moderate alcohol use, diet, etc. does more good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:13 AM Flag
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Just want to say your childhood reveals mine in levels of shittiness. I get funks that last about the same amount of time. I'm currently in one and watching reruns of Intervention on A&E. It gives me comfort that I could have gone down a whole different path in life and I didn't. I beat the odds but sometimes I just can't escape the fact that I will never know parental love and I suffer from that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:07 AM Flag
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Op: !!!! You are me!!!! It took me so long to realize that. I could have ended up a really different person. And sometimes I still feel like a scared child and just want someone to hold me. It's times like that- I don't know what to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:11 AM Flag
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NP. Wish I could hug you. But that'd be creepy. I feel for you though, big time. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:14 AM Flag
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Op: :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:30 AM Flag
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I don't have any answers. I think I stumped my therapist when I said that you can't replace or replicate parental love. You can find romantic love but you aren't ever going to get your childhood back. I thinks it's okay to feel sad about it. I like the idea of a support group (although my bar to entry would be pretty high). I think we have unique experiences that people don't quite get. We look okay from the outside and we function somewhat okay but no one understands the price that you pay "getting" out. It's almost easier being a fuck up because that is what people understand and relate to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:16 AM Flag
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Op: I completely agree. And these funks make me feel like I'm going crazy. My therapist says it's normal to feel that way, but in the moment I somehow convince myself I'm the only person it happens to. I do have a romantic relationship- I feel awful because I know these funks make her sad- but then I become even more upset because I am upsetting my partner. Vicious cycle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:32 AM Flag
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OR: I don't know if I feel crazy. I think I am at a point where I feel very disappointed in the world. I know the background story to your details above, the horrible, horrible details that you would never discuss with even your therapist. I think burying those down far, far inside you jades you and I think that is what the 5-10 day funk is. The stuff I can never speak about with anyone, even my DH. It's hard burden that I carry around. My mother once broke my rib because who even knows and that is the stuff I can speak about aloud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:42 AM Flag
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Np: you sound like a friend of mine and in case you are her or even half as great as her, I want to tell you that you are amazing an shave friends who admire and love you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:13 AM Flag
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^^^ and have, not shave!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:14 AM Flag
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Lol, you're sweet. -no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:16 AM Flag
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Np* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:16 AM Flag
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OR: I have some of the best friends ever and I do appreciate them so much!! They are my family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:21 AM Flag
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They feel the same about you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.25.15, 05:25 AM Flag
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