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[ - ] Moved into a new house and there are some decorative pieces left built into the wall, somewhat high up. Who takes these down besides me? An interior designer designed the house. anyone know who they use to place these items? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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Hire a handy man to remove and redo the wall? Not sure exactly what you're describing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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I guess to put it simply, for example, if there's a painting that's hung up pretty high, who can I hire to take it down? No one wants to climb a ladder that high and try to manage an object. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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np: lol. Pay someone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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I know, but I'd rather hire a professional - someone who's used to doing this kind of thing. I don't know how it got up there, but someone professional did it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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that person = anyone handy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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So there's no magic professional? Movers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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haha! your first house, definitely. No. Welcome to homeownership. The "professional" is anyone you can pay to do it for you. Ask your neighbors for a handyman recommendation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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ok, i get it now. thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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You hire someone with scafolding to take it down. Why did you buy a house with a painting so high up? That should have been removed before you moved in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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let me guess...first house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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lol yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Toronto mom here. Planning a trip to Chicago the weekend of June 29th to July 1st (Canada Day long weekend). Looking for recos - things to see, restaurants, buildings, museums. Me and my 15 y/o son. Touristy but not too touristy. Did the Architectural Boat Tours years ago, loved it and will def do it again. I love the buildings and want to teach a bit of Art Deco/Bauhaus etc. to DS and myself. TIA very much for the recos ladies! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Divvy Bikes....bike along the Chicago River Park/Lake, Maggie Daley Park, see a show at Second City, eat at the Purple Pig [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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OP - sounds lovely. Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Mus of Science and Industry and golden Columbia figure, all leftovers from World's Columbian Exhibition in 1893. Then walk around U of C campus, have lunch at Medici. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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Segway tour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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That's the weekend of the Pride Parade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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Bonus! Thanks for your replies all! My eyes are closing but I’m watching this post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Any Wagner MS parents on? Are you happy? Are your kids happy? I have a 3rd grade DD at PS 6. She will probably go to Wagner when the time comes. Curious to hear what you think of it. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 05.23.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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My dc is in HS now. Loved every minute at W. Well, not every - but darn close [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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That’s so nice to hear! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:53 AM Flag
[ - ] So angry about the snarky super in my building. She calls me in the evening asking me to check if there is water leakage in my ceiling and if there isn't its my bathroom leaking down to the lobby. We have to stop in the middle showering so I called her back to inquire more and she gave me such attitude like I am bothering her and when I said she should give me such attitude when I am just asking her question. She got so defensive and proceed to say I never say hi or friendly to her when I pass her which is BS. I don't initiate much greeting or small talk with her bc she is like a mafia here. What should I do now bc she will probably make my life miserable by making me fixing the plumbing and over charge. I am angry bc I do give her decent tip every year ($100). Is it useless to complain to the property mgmt. company and board? I owned the condo here now I want to sell bc of her. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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You need to be nicer to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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Make nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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The lady on the subway escalator was blocking the walking side. I said excuse me and she told me to take the stairs. I'm tired of nasty old bitches. Especially slow time wasters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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tbh you should be taking the stairs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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np. why? Everyone knows - stay to the right and let people climb the escalator on the left. It's not that difficult and is way more efficient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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It's not efficient for me. Again-why not just take the stairs? I don't see the need to move over to a crowded side so you can breeze up or down. Just take the stairs. You shove past everyone with bags or briefcases as if it's your right. It's not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:52 AM Flag
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I hate slow people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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Get on the board of your building and find a replacement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Yes. Run for the board!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I tipsy text my semi - boyfriend ? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Op here: was considering asking him out for weekend but I texted last. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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don't. I know it's hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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Op here: ok thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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No! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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If you have to ask, the answer is always no. I read a good quote the other day, something to the effect of 'If a man is into you, he'll go above and beyond to let you know. If he's not, you'll feel confused' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Another good rule of thumb in a similar vein is, when you aren't sure what to do (or say), do nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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go for it. booty call! Ignore the prudes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Doesn't sound like OP is detached enough to be okay in a booty call situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Visiting Manhattan (after living there for years) with 10 yo son. What to do? We are seeing Hamilton. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Intrepid, ANHM, the Met, Statue of Liberty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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OP: anyone recommend any of the Hamilton tours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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WTF is a Hamilton tour. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:50 AM Flag
[ - ] I accidentally clicked on add friend on Facebook. I cancelled the request quickly. Will they know? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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fingers crossed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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I've had this happen too. I think they may get a notification, but then if they go into FB, there won't be a friend request. So your best hope is that they don 't get notification alerts on their phone or if they do, they got lost among the many and not noticed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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I've gotten those requests. I just assume it was a mistake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you ever buy yourself gifts? Like for a milestone...birthday or otherwise. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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I bought myself a great necklace when I turned 40 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:00 AM Flag
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OP: I’m a SAHM so no complaints but not wealthy just average Banana Republic mom. Ha! My only DC going to college and not costing a lot bc of scholarships. I’ve never treated myself but I also do or get what I want/need...but not a lot. Just basic stuff...decent haircut, shoes on sale, etc. Never a new car, always used. Don’t ask for jewelry bc it mostkybsits in a safe at the bank. Take nice trips bc DH travels a lot so we have points. But, I’ve never bought fancy purse or shoes or anything. IDK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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I buy myself something after every mammogram [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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...example? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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anything... i just wander into a store and pick out something fun... a top, a clutch, shoes, whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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Fun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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I take myself to a nice lunch with wine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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Not flaming, but why? I go to the dentist and I view mammograms the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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yes! Divorced and I indulge myself to keep myself sane! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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I buy what I want/need when I want/need it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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NP: me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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No. I just get myself stuff if I need or really want it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:53 AM Flag
[ - ] If you’re a teacher, how much do you make? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Prof, full professor and I make 90k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Associate professor 89,000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Does it depend on what you teach? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Sheets in the dryer for at least one day, still wet. Rewash or just finish drying? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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Do they smell? If so, rewash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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I can’t smell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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Rewash [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Dry and see if they smell [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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I usually just unravel and try the drying again at least once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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I'd rewash if they smell moldy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:27 AM Flag
[ - ] My SIL told me Cannes, France sucks and it’s a shame I didn’t ask her for advice on where to go this summer. We spent two days in Cannes last summer and it worked for me. Beach, pool, food. Will it be ok?? Should I go elsewhere? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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If you've been there and know you like it, why are you being dissuaded by your SIL? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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Two days is different from two weeks. I was going to take French classes. Kids are taking tennis. We will go to the beach, etc. a few day trips. I’m looking forward to it. The beach is sandy, not pebbles. I am disappointed she’s dissing our vacation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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cannes beaches aren't great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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NP. Why do you care what SIL says? Do you really need her approval, for anything? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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You think it changed in a year? You do you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Cannes is like Atlantic City. It's not the worst thing ever, but there are MUCH nicer places 45 minutes away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Like? We did Cassis last year but it was too small/too much hiking for young kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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To compare Cannes to Atlantic City is blasphemy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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This. Cannes doesn't have the lingering stench of Trump, for one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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Cannes is ok for a weekend but agree with others, there are nicer places around - antibes, st. paul de vence etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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we will do several day trips, but I didn't want to commit to two weeks somewhere I hadn't seen. I hope it works out. Most of the time will be just relaxing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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My dc went to Cannes just recently and found it a little dull . But everyone is different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:28 AM Flag
[ - ] My daughter came home from school upset that an alpha male in a lower grade repeatedly called her a b!tch today. This isn’t the first time this kid, who’s in first grade, has cursed out her and other children unprovoked. I’m pretty fed up but I don’t know what the etiquette is: Would you approach the parents? Anyone BTDT? 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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You lost me at alpha male. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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How so? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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Can't cure dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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The kid is a first grader- what the actual fuck are you talking about with "alpha male"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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OP: Chill. He’s 8 years old and in first grade; all the younger boys gravitate towards him because he’s the oldest, tallest and isn’t afraid of being defiant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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OR- yes. But he is in First Grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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OP: Okay. Cool. So that’s a pass for using curse words at school in your book? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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No, but calling a 6 year old an alpha male is just really stupid on your part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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8? My 8 yo is in 3rd. Tell your DD this kid must be really stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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Lol. Ily [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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Alpha male already in 1st grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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Do not approach the parents. And keep in mind you're hearing 50% of the story, despite the fact that you might be convinced your daughter is a valid source. Talk to the teacher and, if need be, the principal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks for your advice and totally agree. He’s used multiple words in front of me while I’ve chaperoned field trips. The school is aware but have said that the parents don’t see it as a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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NP that is bs. Your dd has a right to be at school and not be called this. I would go sit in the office until the principal will see you tomorrow. You want to know what their curriculum is for conflicts and bullying and you want to know if they are following their own policies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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It is BS for the school to tell you that. It doesn't matter what the parents see as a problem. It matters WTF the school is going to do to have a safe learning environment for the other kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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This. I would not let this go. Nnp [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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You people are crazy. There is no “curriculum” for name calling. Her dd is perfectly safe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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Not ok for an elementary school child to be called a bitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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It’s a word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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It is inappropriate and a school that lets it go has a weak administrator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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You are out of touch. The curricula are for conflict resolution, communication, standing up for yourself, standing up for others, being a friend, etc. Of course there are curricula for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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You are mistaken. Calling a kid names like that makes them feel insecure and they end up worried and scared, and they aren't focused on learning. ESPECIALLY the word bitch - it makes her less likely to speak up, raise her hand, etc. It creates a hostile environment which is NOT conducive to learning. It is unacceptable and must be addressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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They aren’t in class together [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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No. I was a teacher. Don't be ridiculous. That talk is def. shut down in a good school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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You cannot stop children from calling each other names. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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and remember the squeaky wheel thing. If you can get your dh to go to any meetings with you, the better. Two parents there are better than just one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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A first grade alpha male? I think you need reframe this. He's a kid. A baby, practically. He may have a big personality--he may even be a bully--but he's six. It sounds like he has some social problems. Talk to your dd and try to get more of the story; don't assume she's giving you all the facts. If you think there's a problem, talk to the teacher, but do it in a way that not only shows concern for your own daughter (and other kids who might be on the receiving end of this kid's anger and anti-social behavior), but also show concern for the "alpha" kid. It's probably a sign that something is going on at home, not a sign that he's a degenerate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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OP: Please consider my use of “alpha male” as a way of summarizing paragraphs worth of normal, P.C. description for an anonymous message forum. I promise I am far more articulate IRL. :) Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully write out your response; I appreciate it. It’s just frustrating when you’ve given almost school year’s worth of the benefit of the doubt and nothing changes after interventions from the school or other parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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NP. See above, the kid is 8 years old, not 6. Parents redshirted him for some reason, he's way older and probably much bigger than the other kids, so a ringleader. OP, I would go to the head of school and make a very big deal about this. Whether or not the parents agree that this is a problem is irrelevant, there should be discipline/consequences coming from the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Sticks and stones.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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Sure. I’d let the school know first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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Teach her to ignore it or call him an asshole. Your choice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Does your dd harass him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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OP: From what others have told me at school is that he and a few boys will go up to groups of kids and provoke them. My daughter hasn’t ‘matched’ him yet when he’s said things to her; she’s very even keel when it happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Huh? I'd talk to the teacher and principal. This isn't acceptable. Stop with "alpha male" talk. He's a potty mouth kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:32 AM Flag
[ - ] I’m so depressed. We have major financial problems stemming from dh’s long term unemployment. I think he also has some seriously psychiatric stuff going on. My sn dc is a hopeless mess. My other dc is an elite athlete, but really struggling in his sport right now. I’m exhausted from work, cleaning up, kids, etc. I can’t do it anymore. I really wish I were dead. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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Hang in there, little lady. This, too, shall pass and tomorrow is another day. I hope your husband turns things around. I know financial troubles are a killer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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Little lady??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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Sorry, you a big burly man? JFC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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Well, I’m not a midget aristocrat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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Wow. Low IQ alert. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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People on this site are so crazy. I feel like you have the EQ of an 8 yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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At least my IQ isn't that of an 8yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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np -- it's sweet, jeez -- why so negative? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Eww. It's not "sweet". It's nasty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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I’m not sure what to make of the little lady, but thanks for the support? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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My god, people are so hung up. Take it the bad way. JFC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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So sorry. How long is he out of work? He should be cleaning and handling children while you work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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Yeah, good luck with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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Op- yes, he should be doing that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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You are strong! You will make it through this. God only gives us what we can handle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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This is such bullshit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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+1. This is so wrong. First of all, sometimes people crack one way or the other. Also, it essentially blames the victim for doing so. I prefer to think that sometimes it is all too much and major changes are necessary even if they seem drastic and come with a lot of cons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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I wish I were religious! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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This sounds like a VERY difficult time. I am routing for you, and know it WILL get better. I know it's hard to believe that right now. Please reach out for help: Suicide Prevention 24-hour Crisis Line: 415-781-0500 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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+1. Your kids need you and you need to hang in for them. Can you think of 3-5 nuclear options and try to hone in on one? Living with relatives for a while? Letting DH hit rock bottom so he must get job or help or start helping to stay with you guys? Can you ask friends or relatives for logistical support for a few months as emergency assistance? What about asking at local church? Perhaps a volunteer can help with some logistics, as they do for elderly or infirm? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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Thanks. We can get financial support from family, so we are not about to be homeless. But it’s humiliating and they aren’t exactly happy to share. We are just pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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OK, this is very good news. But I have an important challenge for you: re-frame your thinking here immediately. Force it. Purge the word "pathetic" from your thinking. You are a working Mom with two DCs, one of whom has special needs, and a DH who is likely ill and who, rather than easing your burden, is adding to it. You are not pathetic. Take the help and let family members know that you are in a storm but that it will not last forever and that you will do your best to make the most of it and continue to work to improve your situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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Adding: make a list of all the pathetic things that many people do but you do NOT do. Not abandoning your kids to chase a drug high? Great! Not chasing men and bringing a rotating cast of characters into their lives? Outstanding. Not hitting them or verbally abusing them? Better than so many situations. Leading by example by holding down a good job? Winning. I bet you can keep going. You are not pathetic. You're not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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Hang in there. You are NOT the only one with financial issues and that's what family is for. Don't be ashamed..unemployment and mental health issues are serious. You will get through this. Sending prayers your way! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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I know it’s hard, hang in there. You can get through this. Ask for help, you’d be surprised at how much people want to be there for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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OP, you sound completely overwhelmed. What are some immediate and short-terms steps that you can take? Do you have a friend or relative that can help out? Can you take some time off work? Deal with one issue at a time. How is your athletic DC struggling in his sport? Why is your SN DC a mess? Let's talk it through and see what resources are available to help. I'm sorry. I've been where you are (for different reasons) and it's a very difficult space. The key, I think, is not to go into a downward spiral. I'll keep using refresh if you want to talk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Op- thank you for this nice reply. Our families are financially comfortable, so we will never be homeless. It’s just humiliating and when dh’s mother has helped us in the past, she uses it to control us. And I really can’t do anything but accept the help because stupid Dh doesn’t even have a job. I kind of want to pick up and move to a small town somewhere, but then I don’t have a job either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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^^ and then I don’t have a good school for sn dc either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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It sounds like your MIL is trying to cover for her son (who is dropping the ball). It's good that you have financial resources. I think that's a huge help in a case like this. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy some relief. Maybe you can get a special coach for your athletic DC? Or work with a recruiter to find a job in a new city? In general, I don't think moving necessarily solves problems, but it can be a good way to hit the reset button. It might also be a good way to force the issue with your DH--either he get off his duff and find work and/or become an engaged supportive parent, or you part ways. I don't mean to rush to divorce as a solution, but if you are dealing with long-term unemployment and possible psychiatric issues, it may be more that the marriage is unsustainable. With two kids and special needs DC, you need a partner, not another child. Where would you think of moving? What kind of work do you do? Keep talking to us. There is a solution here (and wishing you're dead needs to be stricken from the list of options). There are lots of smart women on this board. Let's problem solve some shorter-term solutions so that you can get some relief. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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Darkness is almost always followed by light. Most likely, there will be a day when your husband has a job, your boys are doing well and this will be a low in the series of highs and lows life brings us. That being said, women seem to often stack more on their shoulders than they can handle. Find someone to talk to. Put your oxygen mask on first. You will get through this. Better days are ahead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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I am overtended as well. But death is not the answer.. rest and resjuvinenate is the key. You can’t pour from an empty cup, take some time and funds for yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:49 AM Flag
[ - ] AA meeting mom. Anyone want to hear about Meeting #2? 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:42 PM Flag
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Not really. I respect their privacy on this issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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np. In all fairness, she's not naming names, and the same basic stories are told over and over again. In a city of millions of people, she's not outing anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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It's not about outing. I've been to AA and if I came on here and saw some asshole making fun of my story, I'd be pissed, names or not. People are in recovery and they don't need some piss ass person telling their story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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It doesn't sound like anyone's going to make fun of a story. I didn't get that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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I've seen this poster before. I know the drill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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you're making assumptions and being a total ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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Good. Someone needs to be an ass around here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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no, no one needs that. we're all quite fine without it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Your choice to be trash. Carry on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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Chill out. Do you know how many dozens of memoirs go into detail regarding AA meetings. Please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Keep it up Princess. Everyone objected to this is just another gossiping loser who wring their hands with glee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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Objecting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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You are the same person who said little lady aren’t you? I’ve been to Al Anon. And I’ve red tons of recovery memoirs. It actually HELPS others to hear about this stuff. It is not gossip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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Yes, I do. Please share! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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How dare you rejoice from people's misery, remember, God does not like ugly, and you are tempting fate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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wtf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Yes please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:03 AM Flag
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yes, i do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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OP here. Wow! I stepped away to clean up the kitchen (I am also mom to DS who liked my dinner- posted below). I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I was really looking forward to this meeting. It was described as a meeting for people using medication who want to stop drinking. I thought it would be an exchange of ideas from people (like me) who are using medication to help them abstain from drinking or regain control of their drinking. It was not that. It was a moderator conveying the AA party line which was (is): AA believes you should not use any medication. One man in the group spoke about his crushing depression and how he knew AA felt he shouldn't be on any medication. I felt like saying that's so wrong. I left early. Yet before this meeting I have drunk less than at any time before. I don't know if AA if my thing. It may be a thing for many people. I just don't know if it's my thing. I will try a few more meetings (especially the ones suggested by Ubers). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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Go to a rehab facility somewhere sunny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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I didn’t think AS was against antidepressant. Maybe benzos, but surprised they’d have an issue with an SSRI. I need benzos for occasional anxiety induced insomnia. They get my sleep back on track and keep things from spiraling for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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^^AA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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I was prescribed Zoloft when I was at a 30 day inpatient AA based rehab. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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np-- good for you, OP, for trying a few. You sound good!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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OP here. Thank you! I’ll keep trying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Oh god, Chinatown AA mom here again- try the NYU meetings or come meet us Tuesday night, I am also going to this meeting next Friday- at noon it is supposed to be good. Trinity Presbyterian Church 422 W 57th St A meeting with people using medication means most people going are probably clinically depressed or mentally ill, a different group then typical aa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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OP here -- thank you! I will make a point to be there for my next meeting. You sound so forgiving and sane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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I am so glad you are going and very proud of you op. But this is completely wrong. You should not be sharing other peoples issues here, regardless of whether this is anonymous. If you are looking for a different type of meeting, just ask without the background. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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C town mom again I would suggest doing a 90/90 that is 90 meetings in 90 days ( you will here that in the rooms a lot) ) and then deciding if AA I’d right for you, there are plenty of nice interesting people who have stayed sober for a long time, but also some people who dwell in the problems. Keep us posted and come on by. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:22 AM Flag
[ - ] I just saw the Downton Abbey trailer today. Watched it twice. First of all it's absolutely gorgeous and I will definitely watch it because I miss that show. But am I missing something else? This was popular because it was a great melodrama with teasers that let you believe something sinister was going on even when it turned out to be much less. Did anyone else watch the trailer and feel like there was a distinct lack of a plot hook besides "Downton Abbey is Back and now it's 1927" ? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Well, it's a movie, so they only have two hours and need a complete plot arc in that time. Not the same as season after season of "Whom will Mary marry?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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I know, it's just a little disappointing. They're bringing Carson out of retirement! Mary might move away! Well okay, but it's no Edith's setting the manor on fire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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I just have the sinking feeling it will be like the SATC movies, all reconstituted form, very little substance. But, no one has seen the movie yet, so I'm reserving the right to be completely wrong. I hope I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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King George V and Queen Mary of Teck will be visiting. Maybe they are there to inquire about the death of a certain Turkish diplomat some 14 years earlier, one Kemal Pamuk. I can see Mary's face draining of colour when it gets brought up... (-: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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Oh that's interesting! When did Wallis Simpson meet David? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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I want to say it was right around 1927. I looked it up. It was 1927 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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Their marriage was almost a decade after all of this. George V's son, Edward David, was crowned King Edward VIII in January 1936. He abdicated in December 1936, and he married Wallis Simpson in June 1937. The RUMORS are that they were lovers for years before then. But I just looked up when Simpson divorced her first husband, and that was in '27. Considering she then married her second husband, and Edward was her third husband, they probably weren't lovers yet in 1927. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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In the show he's still with that friend of Charles Blake, the one whose letter got stolen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Looks like you are correct! But still, that's simmering drama even if they did only meet in 1927, considering we know how it turned out. Unfortunately there was nothing of that in the trailer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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OR: That happened in real life at Highclere Castle, the house where Downton is filmed. The king was there for a shooting party, and they spent a fortune on it. The wife, who was the illegitimate daughter of a Rothschild, got $100k from her dad for the expenses (that was a lot of money back then). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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Kemal Palmuk was a real Turkish diplomat? Who was the wife? Who was "her dad" ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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No, sorry -- not Kemal. But the king visiting. I think that's where Fellowes got the idea. He's friends with the current Earl and Countess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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OK so the Turkish diplomat is just a plot construct? Who's the wife who was the daughter of a Rothschild? Sorry if I'm asking so many questions, I just really love context. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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In real life there was an Earl and Countess. The countess, Lady Almina, was the Rothschild. She was the rich heiress the real Earl married to save the estate. Cora is based on her. Downton Abbey is fiction, but it was partially inspired by real people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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Hey thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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I cannot wait. So excited. Yes, I'm a huge dork and I also like scrabble, bird watching, and bookclubs with the old ladies at my local library but I don't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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I just saw The Chaperone, Fellows wrote the screenplay, it was very underwhelming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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Did you see Gosford Park? I loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Gosford Park was amazing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Gosford Park was great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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I was by myself in a movie theater when I first saw the trailer. I actually said to myself, out loud, "I am so excited!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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If I was in a movie theater and I saw a trailer for Downton I would have squeed with happiness. Just haven't been to a theater within an age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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So far as I can tell the only plot is, "How do we entertain the Royals." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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I just hope they don’t torture poor Edith anymore. I was thrilled when she married the high ranking guy after years of everything going terribly, and I’ll be so sad if one of the plot points is destroying that for her (again). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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I loved that after their sisterly tribulations Edith ended up outranking Mary, and Mary ended up married to a used car salesman! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:46 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here experience heart palpitations? Do I need to be worried? My heart has been fluttering for the past few weeks. I stopped caffeine today, hoping that would stop the palpitations, but I'm still feeling them about twice per minute. I'm 43, 165 lbs. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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This is something you need a professional evaluation for. You probably don't need to be worried about dying or anything, but you should have yourself worked up just in case. There are some things you don't mess around with, and the stuff your heart does is one of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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The weight is meaningless without the height. But it's probably nothing. I get them when I have lots of stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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Op. 5'10". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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It's probably just stress. Go see a doctor if it troubles you. But I think you'll be fine. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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Dehydration can cause this. I also have a benign racing heart so I take a beta blocker. Anemia can cause a heat issue. Mine was racing when I had bad anemia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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Peri [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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Op. Heart palpitations are a symptom?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Yes! I have hem too. they come and go... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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This happened to me. Very uncomfortable and frightening. Cardiologist did run a bunch of tests to rule out anything more serious but turned out to be attributed to elevated thyroid levels. I also think anxiety was a factor. It stopped on it's own. I cut out caffeine after that and have tried to keep my weight down and have monitored my thyroid but I thankfully don't have a permanent thyroid condition. Definitely go to the doctor. There are medications that can make it go away and treatments if it is an arrhythmia or chronic thyroid disease. But you also need peace of mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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Op. Thanks. Agree with you about peace of mind. Glad you're okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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I went to a cardiologist about this. Turned out to be nothing. But go if it would reassure you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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Usually it turns out to be benign PVCs but it might behoove you to get an ecg or a portable cardiac monitor for a brief period to catch the event. If it were atrial fibrillation it would be good to know. -er md [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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Op. Thanks. I'll do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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Have you recently started prozac? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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Op. No. I've taken Zoloft for years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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Are there any other symptoms while this happens? Dizzy? Shortness of breath? If it feels like you are just very conscious of your rhythm you should cut out alcohol coffee and wear a Holter monitor. Go to a cardiologist it will put your mind to rest. GL- [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Yes. Very common for women in their 40s. You have to stop caffeine completely. That will likely clear it up. You can also try "bearing down" (as if you are straining at stool) when it happens to try to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (which slows your heart rate). If it does not improve, see your primary doctor, who will order a Holter monitoring device that you will wear for few days to check the rhythm. Most of the time it is a supraventricular tachycardia, which is annoying but safe. You may wind up on a beta blocker. Good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Can I post happy news? Or not after 5? DS just came over for dinner (he's 23) and told me what a great mom I was. OK maybe he was lying but it definitely made my day. Happy vent over. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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Good. Enjoy your evening with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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Thx! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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When my son lingers for more than a few minutes talking to me I usually ask him if he just needs money in his bank account. 90% of the time he needs money, 10% of the time he's somehow enhanced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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But also, I am a great mom and you probably are, too :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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Aw thanks! I initiated the divorce so always feel guilty but he tells me I'm a good role model. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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Then you are a good role model. His opinion is really the only one that matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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That's great! Have a wonderful evening with him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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:) This was after many rocky teen years, so I am cherishing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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My son is same age. We do this thing where whenever one of us recommends that the other one watch a TV show, that person also gets to choose a show, then we commit to sitting on the couch watching both. We each get to choose which episode in the series we want, unless the other person wants to start at S1 Ep1. It ends up in a nice hour or so of us just hanging out together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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I love that -- thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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We did it a few nights ago. He's home from college for the summer but he's going to be moving into an apartment sublet June 1 to be closer to his summer job. His show was "Nathan For You" which I think we had to watch through Hulu. That truly is a funny show. It's a young man who says in the intro that he earned "top grades in business school" and then the intro shows his transcript filled with C's and B-'s. He poses as a documentary filmmaker solving problems of small businesses, like Gordon Ramsay with restaurants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:51 PM Flag
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The switch is, he gives them horrible business advice that most are too afraid to balk at because they've been conditioned to believe that since this person has a television show and a camera crew, that he must have some credibility. He does not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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Along the lines of serving unlimited cheap wine at the back of your store selling delicate glass pieces. So that people have to buy the stuff they break on the way out. lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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Ha! I have an 11 year old, and trap him by watching whatever show he wants :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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That’s awesome ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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This is honestly my dream. Nice work, mama. Signed, mom of 10 year old DS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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love it!!! thank you for sharing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Good for you! Thank would make me happy too. (My DS is 21 and would thrill to hear the same!) Enjoy that warm fuzzy feeling [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Derm moms or moms with good skin (who are not 30 yrs old): Been getting facials done by the same person for 10+ years (I'm 43) and feel like I am maybe getting hosed on products. I spend *a lot* on eye creams, face creams, etc. (Like probably $800+ total when I combine the stuff I buy for day and night.) Its kind of crept up over the years, adding a product here and a product there. What do you all use for eye creams, face creams, etc? I don't mind spending $$ if it's going to make a difference, but I feel like it's OTT now. 67 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Every expert who has ever done a documentary/expose on this has said OTC topical creams don't do anything nor do facials. Stop buying any of it. Facials are to feel good. That's all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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OP: Really? I know that there's no magic bullet, but I would imagine that clean, moisturized skin with the dead stuff on top removed looks better than skin where that has not been done... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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You can do that by yourself with an exfoliating wash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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x1,000. Steam in the shower, exfoliate, do a peel mask, then a mask of your choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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Dead stuff, lol. It's there to protect your skin. You don't need to remove it. It's your face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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np: but exfoliation helps skin renewal/collagen production. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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No, it really doesn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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it actually does. i'm not saying facials get that done, but acid peels, retin-a, salicylic acid all work by exfoliating and promoting collagen renewal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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You said exfoliation. Totally different from burning your face with lasers or acid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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What is acid if not exfoliation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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A chemical that burns several layers of skin? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Yes. Every time. There is a small % of people who have beautiful skin no matter what. Like 5%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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They also get rid of blackheads if that's an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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Every single expert huh? This is not true. Cleaning out your pores and things like microdermabrasion, photofacials etc. help your skin immensely. A fun strawberry and cucumber facial not so much (although it doesn’t hurt). Also using crap on your skin will show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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I doubt it. I have had microdermabrasion. Totally worthless. I think everything out there is the same except for acid peels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Yes, every single expert who is not financially biased. Cleaning out your pores (with soap) is beneficial. Nothing else OTC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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np: creamy non-sudsing cleanser if you've dry skin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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This!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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they're all crap. you're born with good skin. otherwise, retin-a, vitamin c serum and sunscreen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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All kids have beautiful skin. Puberty, acne, sun damage is what fucks it up. Sunscreen, retin A [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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By your age, you should be able to look around and see that it's genetic. Especially at 43, everybody pretty much looks the same. People who wear sunscreen religiously look the same as those who tanned in the sun, especially with make-up on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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Disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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No way. Not at all true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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You either live in a really strange place or are seriously delusional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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True. Some people look more pale than others, but no one has beautiful, glowing, measurably amazing skin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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How do I post a picture? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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imgur.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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No. You are wrong. Sorry. Sunscreen and not getting tans and sunburns matters. It really shows up once you hit 60 that's when the damage really shows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Come on. At 60, it's game over no matter what path you've taken. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Haha. Not. But who cares once you're 60 anyway? Should still wear sunscreen because of cancer, but not for aesthetics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:56 PM Flag
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Wait until you’re 60. You’ll care. When you were 25 you probably didn’t think a 45 yo should care!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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And I still don't. Over 40, it's all downhill. Not much you can do but get good sleep and try to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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Oh no way. At 43, The kids that spent their entire summer outdoors at sleepaway have the most disgusting skin on their faces. Brown spots, freckles , wrinkles, bad texture. Yuck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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But summer camp? SO worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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That is all covered by make-up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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This is a self-perpetuating bias. My dermatologist told me I should get fraxel (my skin is somewhere in the middle, slight pigmentation from pregnancy, some freckles). She said with pride that she had only done 2 fraxel treatments, so I would probably get similar results. I didn't know what to say since her face had no freckles, no character, no color, nothing. It is not pretty. I'd much rather have some color on my face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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What? Who doesn't spend their whole summer outdoors? Were you hermetically sealed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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No way. Sun damage shows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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My most gorgeous friend is blonde, tan and freckled. And she doesn't wear make-up. And if she ever wants to cover it all up, she just wears make-up. Ghosts are not attractive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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Disagree. I am fair and started wrinkling very early [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Yeah, no. Obvious difference between the women who baked in the sun, the drinkers and the women who wore sunscreen and didn't drink much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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Are those the only choices? Most people got some sun, went on some trips, wore some sunscreen, drank moderately. Most people's skin looks pretty much the same. I can't think of anyone I know who has gorgeous skin. I know a couple who have porcelain skin but it is not attractive because they look dead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Older mom here with good skin (so they tell me). I get facials purely for the relaxation (and it does temporarily make my big pores look smaller). Rest, hydration, and a basic moisturizer (like Cetaphil) are all you need. Plus of course sunscreen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. This is all convincing me that I need to seriously pare down what I buy from her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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You do need a good cleanser, moisturizer and retinol serum. But good ones. Eye cream is nice too though. Not sure what else you buy. $800? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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She's fucking with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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same, it's genetics. I use a charcoal soap from Japan, Trader Joe's moisturizer and a mineral sunscreen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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48 here. I’ve had chemical peels and microdermabrasion. I’ve found the power peel 3step mask from ole Hendrickson and I thought the results were better than any of the professional stuff I had done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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microdermabrasion is crap. but it's better than chem peels? that's very interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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oh, i see. it's a glycolic peel. yes, they are supposed to be good. i am surprised it is better than prof peels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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I honestly use only Neutrogena face lotion with spf 15. I barely wash my face. I wear minimal makeup other than coverup for eye circles. I'm 55. Maybe I have genetically great skin but I never need anything else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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Lots of water, lots of sleep, sunscreen, clean face at night religiously. Rest are genes. Also if you skin was oilier when you were young, you are likely to have less wrinkles when older/have them later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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It really depends on your natural skin. If you have problem skin of any type then you have to be aggressive and stay on top of it for good results. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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No one has mentioned food - good clean food works wonders. I cut out wine and sugar and my face clears within a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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*eye roll* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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If you eat a vegan diet tour skin looks a ton better. I swear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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whatevs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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It actually works. Plus being plant based is good for you and the environment. I did it as part of a training plan, it is helpful for people who are prone to injuries to eat this way because it significantly reduces inflammation. Tonite I ate sausage and pepperoni pizza. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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I use Eminence Eye cream, don't know if it does anything more than moisturize but it feels very rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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IPL every few years, Botox every six months, VI peels or something like that in a set of three very couple of years. And then sunscreen all the time. Look good for 45 but don’t lol young anymore. The above the lip area is starting to show age the most. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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Also skin is never better than when I am working out/sweating a ton and eating mostly vegan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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I think occasional facials help my skin and I enjoy them. Beyond that, a gentle cleanser, sunscreen every day, vitamin c most days and a retinol product or light peel once in a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:47 AM Flag
[ - ] I am extremely close with my grandma, who is turning 95 this summer. She is in good health, all things considered, and her mind is still sharp as a tack. Looking for ideas for a special birthday gift. I live across the country, and am flying in for the small (family only) party we are throwing, but want to get a gift as well. She is an avid reader - we bought her an iPad a few years ago and she has enjoyed reading books on there (esp to make the font bigger). She doesn't drive any more but has someone who takes her around for errands a couple of times a week. Any ideas? She doesn't have a ton of disposable income and is NOT someone who "has everything".... but I just cannot think of anything special to mark the big day of this seriously amazing woman. (I *am* going to write her a card telling her how special I think she is.... and I tell her all the time anyway.) 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Buy her a plant. If it survives her, you can plant it at your place. You can even ask her to talk to it, so it'll have her love in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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OP: I like this idea (although I don't know if I really would be able to get the plant cross country later on). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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Does she have wifi? My dad watches netflix on his ipad. You could get her a gift card for it and set it up for her while you are there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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OP: she does have Wifi. She loves old movies (and some more recentness - she went through a phase of watching Pretty Woman weekly haha). I like the Netflix idea - a bit worried it might be complicated for her to figure out... she is not great with tech (the iPad took a while) but I think she could figure it out. TY! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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You can set it up for her while you are visiting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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yes once it is set up, it is very easy. I write out directions for my mom in case she forgets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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We got my fil an Alexa and he loves it. Plays music on it, asks her questions, has her remind him of his appointments etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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OP: I also forgot to mention - she collects "hearts" - heart shaped paperweights, frames, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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95 is too old to be adding to a collection. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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Don't be a dick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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I'm not a dick, just a person who goes to a lot of estate sales. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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I just bought this adorable little mood lamp with heart shapes (for my kids but it’s still nice) https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1635895031 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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What about making a cook book with all her recipes that is interspersed with favorite memories and photos that go with each dish.you can make copies of it for all of her grandchildren. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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OP: OMG I love this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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Take her somewhere special for the day. She doesn't need more stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:25 PM Flag
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magazine subscription? Puzzle magazine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.22.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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How much time do you have? 95 things I love about you poster (harder than you think). Or posters from the years she lived with interesting facts. Born, married, had first child etc. with man walk on moon, pantyhose invented, her favorite book written.... personalize to her interests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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You would also need 95 things obviously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Does she drink beer? When my father turned 80 I gave him 80 different bottles of beer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.23.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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