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[ - ] Am I the only woman who doesn't like oral (on me)? DH goes for it sometimes and I'm just like no thanks. I could certainly never finish that way. Is he just bad at it? I love my husband, love sex, love trying new things, etc., but I can't seem to understand what all the fuss is about. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:35 PM Flag
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He must not be good at it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:30 PM Flag
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+1. When it's good, it's great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:36 PM Flag
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i've had many lovers. i don't particularly enjoy oral. np. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:32 PM Flag
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Some people just don't like it. Some men are better than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:38 PM Flag
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It's probably because dh isn't that good at it. I'm not a big fan but I have had some incredible oral sex with past partners. I think I just tell myself I'm not into it because dh really doesn't enjoy doing it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] I am admittedly a laid-back mom. On the way to school, my kid usually sees other kids she knows and sometimes they run ahead (I know without a doubt my DC will stop at every corner and wait for me). Sometimes the parent of the other kid will yell, Don't run. Stop. etc. Do I have any obligation to help them or can I just remain quiet. I am OK if my kid is running and don't mind if she is not near me at all times. But I wonder if I'm somehow interfering with the other parent's parenting by not helping her? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:33 PM Flag
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I'm the other mom screaming STOOOOP at the top of her lungs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:36 PM Flag
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Do you notice if the other parent is quiet and not saying anything? Are you annoyed if she is not doing the same? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:41 PM Flag
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Ask her to slow down and walk with her friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:31 PM Flag
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If they were close enough, I would probably do that. But they have run ahead and I really don't mind but I also don't want to shout down the street at them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:43 PM Flag
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I would say that you trust her to do stop in time but sometimes it scares the other moms when she runs ahead and that she should walk more calmly over to her friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:41 PM Flag
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I didn't explain very well. We may be walking when we see the other friend. Then both kids sometimes decide to run to the next corner, which is fine by me. So it is not about my DC running to the friend, but the two kids running together down the street away from us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:45 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm 27 weeks pregnant and already so tired I can barely get through my days. I've had my thyroid checked, and everything's fine. My work is going to hell because I have no energy, and I'm feeling mildly depressed. Anyone know any good, safe ways to increase energy during pregnancy? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:27 PM Flag
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power bars? Full body pillow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:29 PM Flag
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I never cut caffeine out completely. Can you sip a cup of coffee throughout the day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:38 PM Flag
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Can you nap at lunch? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:38 PM Flag
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Are you getting enough sleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Please help a DH out! Younger DS is attending his preschool classmate's 3rd birthday. What gift do you get for a 3yo girl you don't know? Thanks in advance for any advice. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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magna tiles, or anytype of art project thing..design your own jewlery box [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:23 PM Flag
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a couple of books (my 3yo dd loves madeleine and angelina ballerina) or maybe a couple of coloring or sticker books [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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Melissa and Doug anything, pretty much. And/or Alex art kit. Where do you live? If on UES, I can suggest specific stores that will wrap for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:28 PM Flag
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UWS. Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:32 PM Flag
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I know there's a good toy store over there that wraps (friends always buy my dcs gifts there). Name escapes me, though. Someone here will know, I'm sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? Potentially lucrative new client asked for a consultation with me and my assistant scheduled it for a time I usually set aside for new business/consultations. Unfortunately it was the one Monday where I had a teacher meeting. I called the client to reschedule but she said she could not put anything down at the moment since she was driving and would be back in touch. This was two weeks ago. I have left three messages and called total about six times. Why won't she just call me back and say she is not interested instead of leaving me to wonder? People are so unprofessional !! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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well you are the one who cancelled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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She thought YOU were unprofessional, probably. Teacher meetings aren't that hard to reschedule. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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Did you tell her why you canceled? Maybe she thought you were the one who was unprofessional for not rescheduling the teacher instead of her business. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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exactly. If she's go the potential to be a "lucrative new client" she doesn't need to be troubled by OP's teacher meeting--red flag for her, actually, about what sort of priority she'd be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:41 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your thoughts on those father-daughter dances? I always feel sorry for girls who don't have a father/father figure in their lives. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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I see you point....but I remember going to my HS father and daughter dance and it was fun. I was a freshman and had a few hours with my dad who was always working [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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NP: I did too, but my best friend's father was not in her life (parents divorced when she was 2, her father lived outside the US). She felt pretty crappy about the whole thing, but didn't say anything to me about it at the time. Afterwards I realized that there have to be other ways to get to the same result without making some people feel like shit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:25 PM Flag
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My dad died when I was young. An uncle or a friends dad always stepped in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:39 PM Flag
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My dd goes to a school where they have a lot of those - grandparents day, fathers breakfast, and such. They always say "and special friend" to include everyone. I think it's a great idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:28 PM Flag
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Ditto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:42 PM Flag
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I have never heard of them in real life. I never had any growing up and my dc has never had any (in HS now). So to me, they sound odd and old-fashioned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:30 PM Flag
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You should feel angry that men get away with abandoning their children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:25 PM Flag
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I think they are sweet and lovely. Plenty of people don't have moms or dads and things like Mother's Day are tough, but that's part of life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:33 PM Flag
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^ But I agree, I like that today, these things are always presented as inclusive, so you could bring an uncle or grandfather or cousin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:34 PM Flag
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That really doesn't make the fatherless girl feel any less weird. I was that girl and I just never went to stuff like that. Other kids ask you where your dad is and it sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:33 PM Flag
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OR below -- I also just never went to stuff like that. It's not the same to bring an uncle or grandfather. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:34 PM Flag
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OR: I get it; my dad died when I was 16. Also, my brother is mentally retarded/quadriplegic and I often had to miss events to help care for him But should we get rid of Christmas presents bc some kids are poor and don't get any? There are plenty of things I was excluded from, and it sucked, but I don't think we should get rid of special things because they might exclude some. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:45 PM Flag
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My dad died when I was still a child and I dreaded all those things -- including Father's Day. I pretended I didn't care so no one knew, but it wasn't easy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:32 PM Flag
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old fashion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:41 PM Flag
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I would have been mortified to go to a dance with my dad when I was a teenager [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I'd like to get my parents a gift card to an NYC restaurant for a big anniversary, around $150-200. Any suggestions? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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Do they have a restaurant with some significance? Where they had a first date? proposal? a favorite romantic place? It's hard to make a suggestion without knowing your parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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No, just looking for a nice restaurant wIth a "special" vibe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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do you want this to cover their meal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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np Better to contact restaurant and arrange cc to be charged than get into gift cards, imo. And that amount will only cover dinner at a "special" place with no booze and tap water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:36 PM Flag
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^^^Actually, it won't cover with tip and tax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:36 PM Flag
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If you want to cover the entire check, you'll need to at least double what you want to spend. Per Se, Jean-Georges, Daniel, Del Posto, Aureole [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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^^^Unless they don't drink! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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Cafe Boulud, Annisa, The Crown are all nice. That said $200 will be a bit tight/just enough without drinks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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Union square cafe or any Danny Meyer restaurant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:27 PM Flag
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Yup, you can get a card from any of Danny Meyer restaurants and use it on any one on the list or Steve Hanson's BR Guest restaurants which includes Blue Water Grill, Atlantic Grill, Isabella's etc.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:39 PM Flag
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Marea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I am addicted to Facebook, agg I spend so much precious time in that stupid website. I just log off and I am trying not to log in at least for the whole long weekend. Wish me luck! TIA. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:54 PM Flag
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So you came to UB... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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I am the same. So bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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i'll show my ignorance (I am not a facebook user), what's to waste time with? on your own facebook page? or other peoples? do you just surf from one persons page to another? I guess I never knew what facebook was good for, so I never bothered - and since that train left the station so long ago, I am not going to ask anyone irl what or what to use it for [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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I hear people say they are addicted to Facebook and I always ask myself how? What are they doing that takes up so much time and I don't know about. I look at my feed once a day, takes about 10 minutes or less. Is it because I have fewer friends that post? Or am I missing features? Now, on the other hand, UB? that I get. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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really? I don't care that much about FB but I spend too much time on UB :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:34 PM Flag
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Delete your account. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm going for a trial of my wedding makeup and hair. It's costs $150 for the trial and $300 the day of the wedding. I plan to tip the day of the wedding, but do I also tip for the trial? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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Puke! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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Make sure your eyelashes don't fall of. Happened to DF. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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I would say yes. 20% on whatever service. Funny, I would think that the trial should cost more since there may be a few tries before finding what you like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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As soon as something is for a "wedding", costs go exponentially. Ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Thinking of switching to all "green" cleaning supplies. Anyone btdt? Is it worth it ? What are best brands? Tia 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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A lot of the most common ones (and best smelling, probably) are just "greener"--not all natural or anything. Still, I use a lot of these. Method (the lavender all purpose spray is the best kitchen counter cleaner according to Cook's Illustrated--I agree, cleans well) and Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day are two. Ecover is more natural, but some of the products smell pretty good. Also, they make a great liquid laundry detergent (have been using it almost exclusively for 11 years). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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Vinegar and water works on most things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:27 PM Flag
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Yes, it's worth it. I used to have mild asthma. After switching, my breathing is significantly better. I also buy the non toxic concentrate kind ( saw on Oprah couple years back). So all I need is to add water. Save tons of money too. I am not home so I forgot the brand. It starts with an s. google it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts needed. My sister who is married and has a decent paying job ( children out of college) just approached me for money to help pay her mortgage. I was totally shocked as I thought they were well off. Not rich but well off. She also said she was three months behind and threatening to foreclose. This is a sister who I truly thought was soooo together. I was in COMPLETE shock. Can someone shed light with some thoughts. They totally do not live beyond their means etc..... I am at a loss!!!!! 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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You never know. About anything or anyone. It's why I'm never ever jealous of anyone, for any reason. Because who the heck knows what the real story is? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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Op- that is such a good philosophy. You are SO right!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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They obviously do live beyond their means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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Op- the thing is I don't see it at all. No fancy vacations, handbags etc... Two kids both had FULL scholarships!!! I am so worried about this. I am worried for her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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Do they gamble? I know a seemingly normal woman with a $3,000 a month on line gambling addiction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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Maybe she is living beyond their means ? Debt for their kids colleges ? Maybe she doesn't have a decent paying job ? Debt can accumulate fast in a blink of an eye. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Op- 2 kids had full athletic scholarships, modest home, no great vacations etc..... This is weird. She is normally the level headed one. I am deeply concerned. I know where she works and it is decent paying for sure. Like I said not amazing but she shouldn't be in this position. I'm worrie there is more o this. I just don't know what [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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Maybe an addiction ? Gambling ? Does her husband work ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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If you are going to lend her the money, I think you are in the right to ask her how she got into much debt. I would ask her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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Ditto. And I'd go a step further if she wants you to become her banker by lending her money: Ask to see her credit card and bank statements. I'll bet there's a gambling issue or she has a garage full of crap she bought on ebay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:45 PM Flag
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still costs money to send kids to school even with scholarships - but I find it really strange that you did not bother to ask her why she needed the money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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She asked for money and the conversation just stopped? You didn't ask her why? If she worried about foreclosure, something big happened. She probably needs some sisterly love and support, in addition to money. And I agree with the poster above: you never know what is going on in someone else's house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Be careful. If they haven't been able to come up with the last three payments, where are the next three payments coming from? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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+1. It's often best to let things resolve themselves naturally. She's going to lose the house sooner or later, so don't throw your money into that black hole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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spoken like a person who NEVER helps anyone else out of a bad situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:49 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm not supposed to be here. I grew up in the midwest in a family full of crazy evangelists. I was never going to do anything but marry young and have tons of babies and run church bake offs and send my kids to Jesus camp. But I'm an atheist and I live on the UWS and I somehow managed to put myself through Columbia (with three years at a community college first) and marry a nice DH and have a great career. I just want to say it feels weird because most of my friends now assume their lives would always be this; privileged, secular, nyc, careers, et al. And I pinch myself every day. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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Me either I randomly ended up here after college bc a friend got me a low paying job. I kept working my way up, met dh and stayed here w ds (I'm also on the UWS). I have things I never even knew I was supposed to want. I never take any of it for granted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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Well said, I also have things I never knew I was supposed to want (or imagined existed). Like you I am grateful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:54 PM Flag
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I was born and raise in another Country, move to the States with a summer job offer, came here with a basic English knowledge, met DH and ended staying. Crazy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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There are just as many reinvented people in New York as there are native New Yorkers. My parents have now been on the UES for 50 years, but dad was from Atlantic City and mom was from the South side of Chicago. They met at Columbia/Barnard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:05 PM Flag
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I am the opposite and so grateful. Raised privileged, secular, UMC and now I live in bible belt country (still not religious.) We have a more simple life than how I was raised, but wonderful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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You sound just like a friend of mine, she was raised evangelical and even went to a large Christian university. She feels like she escaped from prison sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you ever send a non-urgent text on a weekend before 8 a.m.? To a former co-worker? (I'm sure she figured I'd be up b/c I have young DC...but I wasn't and it woke me up.) 84 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:05 PM Flag
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People really need to learn to respect boundaries. I have a friend who regularly texts me befor 7 am and another who sends messages after 11. I am 39 weeks pg and hardly sleeping as is. Drives me nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:15 PM Flag
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* 11 pm that is! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:16 PM Flag
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Turn off your phone or text sounds. How is texting someone overstepping a boundary? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:31 PM Flag
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It's not. Some people can find fault with anything! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:39 PM Flag
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Texting is contacting someone, as is calling. You don 't call someone that early on a weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:22 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:27 PM Flag
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So is emailing. Do you have a problem with that? Texting is basically a truncated email and is nothing like calling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:27 PM Flag
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I agree. I don't find texting invasive. I just don't even look at it, until I'm ready to respond. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:36 PM Flag
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same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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Same here. What a nutty complaint. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:26 PM Flag
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So don't keep your damned phone next to your bed! Or turn off the sounds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:26 PM Flag
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Yes I probably would. But I don't sleep with my phone and if I do have it in the same room I have sound turned off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:23 PM Flag
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I wouldn't specially if it is not an urgent matter, specially the weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:20 PM Flag
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Yes. I've never thought of texts as something that depends on the person being awake. Turn your texts notification sounds off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:26 PM Flag
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This. That's like thinking someone should be awake before you email them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:27 PM Flag
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np I think the above sentiments are more common in the younger generation. How old are you, OP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:27 PM Flag
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Define younger. I think of texting for anyone but very close personal friends to be something only the "younger generation" does anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:31 PM Flag
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np I'm 44. Until about 6 months ago, I never texted. Now text daily with plenty of people (also keep tabs on older dc this way). Usually go over my text limit for the month! Convenient way of communicating--no requirement for the recipient to reply right away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:29 PM Flag
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OP: I'm 34. It wasn't a business question. I sleep with the phone by my bed and I keep the sound on in case of emergency (I always keep the sound off for email). We don't have a land line. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:37 PM Flag
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By why do you text w her instead of email, given that you describe her as a former colleague rather than close friend? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:36 PM Flag
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OP: We have kept in touch, but are not close friends. She initiated (the text wasn't in response to something I had sent earlier, it was personal, not business). I text with plenty of people (assorted age ranges and relationships) - but am mindful of timing, I've always assumed that people leave their text notification on at all times. For whatever reason, I consider email to be different (and maybe that's b/c I always keep the sound off on my phone for email). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:54 PM Flag
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I text whenever I feel like it, assuming the person's alerts are off if they're sleeping. Now I feel like a jerk! I'm gonna do a poll on fb now and make a note of how my friends deal with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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np She states she has sound off for email but not for text. She's making up what's rude based on her phone settings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:30 PM Flag
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So keep the sound off for text. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:38 PM Flag
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And I'm am sure everyone knows your phone rules and that it is on for emergency only. Come on. Get a grip. Its a stupid text. Get over it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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x100000000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:30 PM Flag
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+1. That said, I don't actually text w anyone but DH, nanny and a couple of mom friends w kid related stuff. Would always email for even remotely professional purposes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:29 PM Flag
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^in answer to np, I'm 42 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:30 PM Flag
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Ah, okay. Well...I think age has something to do with it then. Get used to this. Texting is not something people constrain to moments when others are awake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:40 PM Flag
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That's Ok. If my nanny, DH or girlfriend needs to text me at random times, I can deal. Everyone else would be emailing, especially a "former colleague" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:43 PM Flag
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OP: posted above, we've kept in touch, but I don't consider her a close friend. It was a personal text, not at all business-related (and I don't mind that she texted instead of emailed - I text a lot - it's the timing that annoyed me). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:57 PM Flag
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I guess I'm saying that if you text the same way others email, you should expect to receive them the same as email too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:56 PM Flag
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np: I am only 30 and HATE texting and do so rarely. DH is the same. We only use it for communications that we want to be conveyed instantly but where a phone call isn't possible. Just because some people like to text whenever doesn't mean the rest of us need to take affirmative steps (however minor seeming) so we won't be bothered by people without manners [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:38 PM Flag
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+1. I get annoyed when someone texts me early because it wakes me up - but it is my fault for not turning the sound off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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That's ridiculous...so now we have to turn so it off for the comfort of others ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:52 PM Flag
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No, for the comfort of yourself. I sleep through text notifications. If I did not I would turn it off for MY comfort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:24 PM Flag
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If you don't want to be freaking woken up then yeah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:31 PM Flag
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I send texts when I think to send them. If they are asleep, I assume they won't answer right away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:29 PM Flag
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But sometimes they just wake people up. It is annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:34 PM Flag
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So turn off your text sounds. Would you be annoyed if I emailed you and your phone notified you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:39 PM Flag
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I have those sounds off, but my texts are on in case of an emergency or an important notification. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:53 PM Flag
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If it's that important, you will get a phone call, even in the middle of the night. You can safely turn the text notifications off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:29 PM Flag
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THIS. If there was a 911 type emergency with a sick parent or whatever, you'd get an actual phone call--not a fucking text!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:32 PM Flag
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An emergency text? Wouldn't someone CALL if there was an emergency? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:25 PM Flag
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It's a TEXT. If you're sleeping, TURN OFF THE SOUND! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:43 PM Flag
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Apparently you don't care for sick parents, some ppl cannot turn off their text or phones. Just be smart and send an email instead of a text that will wake ppl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:02 PM Flag
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I do have many people who rely on me. In emergencies they call. IMO, texts are not meant to wake people up for an immediate response or they would constantly beep until answered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:58 PM Flag
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Some ppl are lite sleepers. Just send an email and be thoughtful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:02 PM Flag
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this - texting is not for emergencies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:22 PM Flag
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This this this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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Eh my emails sent an alert to my phone too. I don't have a problem w/people sending texts or emails anytime - if the sounds annoy me I turn them off. I don't have to answer them right of way. If they called me it would be more of a problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:23 PM Flag
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I send texts and emails in the middle of the night when I can't sleep and am catching up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:44 PM Flag
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Ar you kidding, right ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:39 PM Flag
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np I do this too. What's to kid about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:40 PM Flag
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Huh?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:46 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:39 PM Flag
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Nope unless I was asked to send it early. I don't send text before 10am esp on the weekends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:57 PM Flag
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Yea I think this is a generational thing and I am on the cusp at 32. I get texts at odd times from people who assume my phone is off-- and I don't mind it. But people older than me probably wouldn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:57 PM Flag
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Texting late is like calling late, rude. I refuse to turn off text or phone since I have elderly parents but if you need to end me anything late send an email...not a damn text. Think of others [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:01 PM Flag
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I disagree because it does not demand your immediate attention but you can always ask people not to text you after 10pm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:24 PM Flag
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No, texting late is like emailing late. And you can turn off JUST the text sound if it bugs you. I have a hard time believing your elderly parents will text you in an emergency. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:26 PM Flag
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ITA. My Mom texts me to say she's running late at the doctor's office and will call me when she's finished. She never texts for anything urgent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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Never. Send an email, though this could also wake people up. Don't assume people can turn off sounds, many of us have to keep them on because of kids or parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:10 PM Flag
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Wouldn't that be the ringer that you need to keep on? Who is emailing/texting bt not calling in true emergency? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:09 PM Flag
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this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:21 PM Flag
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Well, obviously many people DO keep the sound on, so inappropriate to send texts outside of normal hours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:22 PM Flag
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You can turn off your text or email notifications without turning off your ringer, grandma. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:27 PM Flag
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I don't think it's the "grandmas" with this issue. It's the 30ish crowd who text everyone and have merged boundaries and want to impose rules on others rather than establishing boundaries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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Sorry. 45 y/o and texts are not for emergencies. If it's that important, I will get a phone call and yes, I have elderly relatives who rely on me. When my mother texts me, I will get back to her when I can and even she understands this. When she calls me at 1am, I pick up the phone. BTW - she started texting to stay in touch with her grandchildren. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:54 PM Flag
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Right but does she text her peers, no. Only the kids. Unlikely they would text her or even you in an emergency. Surely they would cAll. I just thi k OP is being silly about his [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:54 PM Flag
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Her peers - probably not (but it's certainly possible) - they were all teachers and pretty good at keeping up with what their students were into. I know she texts me and my siblings and of course, her grandkids. Watching my then 13 year old niece teach her was a funny afternoon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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If you are regularly texting with your former co-workers and acquaintances, you are part of that crowd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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I'm not! Not OP and I agree with you on that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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Lol!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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If it is a work matter that I need to know before heading to work the next day, good send me the text, but if it is something you can easily tell me or text me the next day when I am awake, please don't text. This is why I leave my text sound on, but it doesn't mean I should be available to you 24/7 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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If its an iPhone, use the "do not disturb" feature at bed time. Phone only rings when coming from a favorite number. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:05 PM Flag
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Why am obligated to do something to accommodate others' bad manners? I get probably 3 texts a day (usually all from DH) so would never think to turn off my phone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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To protect your sleep, dumbass. Stop complaining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:42 PM Flag
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IT'S NOT BAD MANNERS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:47 PM Flag
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This is one of those irritations that is easily solved by people who like life without irritation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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I look at texts and email the same way. Figure the person can look at them at his/her leisure. I don't do this for work, but just for friends/other moms. I don't text in the middle of the night, but if I have a thought or question I will shoot off an email at 3 am. I find it stressful hearing the text sound at odd hours, but I figure I should have the phone turned off or in another room, so I don't blame the sender. More often than not it is a spam text that wakes me up :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:39 PM Flag
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My phone is always set to phone calls only at night. If people text me at night, it doesn't wake me up but I will sometimes return the text at 6am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:41 PM Flag
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As a physician, my pages come via text and are emergencies. I cannot turn the notification off. I find it incredibly rude to receive a non urgent text in the middle of the night. I imagine other professions have the same issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know what the college placement was for Hunter, NEST, and Bronx School of Science and Stuy this year yet? Wondering if better than privates? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:47 AM Flag
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Way better, people don't want to admit but from an exmissions pov, private is a huge waste of $ they always mention intangibles like "connections" that it is so overrated, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:36 PM Flag
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For many people private education is not about what college your kids gets into!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:39 PM Flag
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LOL riiight, you can tell this by UB obsessing with HYP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:46 PM Flag
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Thank god I am not one of those people and UBers are not my everyday friends!! Quite possibly many UBers think that they are buying a ticket to HYP with a K admission to Trinity, but that would not be me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:57 PM Flag
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np No one is coughing up 40 k a year tuition with the idea Junior could go to LaGuardia Community College or DeVry. No one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:38 PM Flag
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You really have no idea what you're talking about. On a percentage basis, Hunter is the only one of the schools listed that is anywhere near Collegiate, HM, Trinity, Brearley, etc. That said, College bragging rights are not the only thing to think about when choosing a HS. These can be tough years and the right environment for a particular child can make such a difference - public or private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:30 PM Flag
[ - ] I have an ethics question. When my DH was out of work for over a year, my parents paid our rent each month. We're in our mid thirties and want to start a family in a place we own. I've spoken to my parents about this and they say we should live our lives and pay them back later, but it feels wrong not to pay them back before buying an apartment, and I know they could use the money. At the same time, we aren't so young, interest rates are low and rising. WWYD? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:43 AM Flag
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How about paying them back over time rather than in a lump sum? Would that allow you to honor your parents and still buy an apt? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:46 AM Flag
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It will, but this being New York, we aren't going to have a lot of money left over with mortgage and my parents are in 70s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:55 AM Flag
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They've told me it's from my will money so that I don't have to pay them back,but it might be the entirety of will money and I feel an obligation to give them money back. Math wise, if we half savings between the two, neither goal will be satisfied for a long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:58 AM Flag
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np-I think if you have an honest and open conversation with them, then it is OK to not feel too pressured to pay them back right away. It probably is your inheritance that funded the rent, but it seems like the are OK with that. It's nice when it all works out (nice parents, appreciative/thoughtful kid). Best of luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:01 PM Flag
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Thank you. I feel so stuck with this, this was nice to hear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:06 PM Flag
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I'm glad...also, maybe it's better, tax wise, for them to give it to you like this, rather than in one big chunk...I'm not a CPA, but my in-law gift a hefty chunk to spouse and in-laws once a year, so it's probably something similar. Maybe just make sure to let it be all open to your sibs so that when it all settles out, they understand (if you have sibs). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:44 PM Flag
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sorry, that should be "spouse and brother/sister in law once a year" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:45 PM Flag
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+1. If it is money that would come to you eventually, in a way it makes sense for them to give it to you now, as you avoid inheritance tax. My only concern is that you say they could "use the money" - are they struggling to pay their own bills? if so, then I think you should repay them (at least some). If not, I would put aside whatever you can after mortgage etc, in anticipation of having to help them later. You say they are in their 70s - they could live another 20 years potentially. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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It it is this then get the apartment and move on. Your parents may need you in others ways in 5 - 10 years. BUT if you think they really do need the money then pay it back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:02 PM Flag
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If they are ok with this, then pay them back later or make small payments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:28 PM Flag
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Pay them back later if they are okay with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:30 PM Flag
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If you have siblings, if this amount is material, suggest parents adjust their will, and subtract it, with interest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:03 PM Flag
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I agree except for the interest amount. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Any suggestions of how to cure yourself of obsessive thoughts? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:16 AM Flag
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If it is true OCD, which can be thoughts and not behaviors, meds and therapy. My DD has what she refers to as Sticky Brain. A thought comes in and sticks. A great child psychiatrist, the right meds and lots of work on her part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 11:45 AM Flag
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Acknowledge, "oh that's me and my 'sticky brain' forgive yourself and move on. Keep busy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 12:36 PM Flag
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NP: If it is true OCD, while the sentiment is nice, this alone will likely not be enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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when i have these thoughts, i remind myself that i am being ridiculous and am looking for problems because i don't have any real ones. maybe that sounds harsh, but it works for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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