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[ - ] My DH want to do some sport activity for 2 weeks that i consider risky and I want to get a life insurance. How I do this? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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what activity - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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I love your thought process lol but not sure you can get him insured for said activity. what is it? tell us and we can help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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diving, he has not do that for a long time and its getting certified for new type of equipment and want to dive wo a partner, he will be with a bunch of people snorkeling but only he diving. I dont like this, dont trust his skill and he is not a though physical guy. I have 4 kids 4-18 and I think this is risky, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o: Reading about the op whose self-esteem has been damaged by abusive parents who went on yelling rants makes me want to cry because I've done the same to my dc. Also come from an abusive household and although I have improved, I still mess up and go on yelling rants. I am mostly loving and supportive, but certain behaviors trigger me and I inevitably feel awful afterward. I feel like I may be messing up my dc's self esteem. Please help. Anyone btdt? How do you effectively and lovingly discipline your dc? I just started therapy but need some tips immediately. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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I was the OP of that post. I didn't go into details about what my parent did (someone else wrote that about yelling rants). My impression is that most parents yell, and that's ok. What my parent did was (and is) much worse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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op: I am sorry if I'm being intrusive, but did they yell profanities or called you names? I don't go that far, but pretty close at times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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Yes, but there was much *worse* behavior than that as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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^^I was called a selfish bitch, fat, ugly, my hair and weight were criticized, my clothing, the way I speak, the way I sing, any time I attempted to have a friend that person was criticized, and I was told that "no boy will ever want to marry you." This carried on through my twenties and to the present day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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^^background: I have never been overweight in my life. For much of the time this went on, I was underweight and receiving treatment at a program for anorexic patients. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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op: I'm very sorry. :-( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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Thanks - trust me, if you are regretting your behavior, you're nowhere NEAR as bad as my parent who continues to deny everything and act like a martyr (a victim of my "criticism"). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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Yelling is damaging. The first step is knowing this, and apologizing to your child! There are some great books to read to learn other ways-- Parenting with Love and Logic is a good one. Playful Parenting. How Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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op: Thank you. I do always apologize and tell them I'm not perfect, but love them a lot. I will check out the books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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I yell and have no guilt - none. Sometimes you can be "playful" and sometimes you need to pull them up short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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my mom yelled more than anyone and my self esteem is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:26 PM Flag
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Was she ever "normal"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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I am the poster with the yelling parents. I also did that, but I have learned to manage it. You just get to a point when you can't control yourself anymore so you have to learn how to stop before you reach that point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
[ - ] i am 60 with a 4 year old any questions? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:01 PM Flag
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Did you adopt? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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nope I would never, personal preferance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but I hope you have a good will and friends or family who you can count on to help out with your child should something happen to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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agreed - find this narcististic - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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beyond rude [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:25 PM Flag
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Man or woman? Single parent? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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female single yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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selfish [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:21 PM Flag
[ - ] is it normal to not be able to remember a traumatic experience like being reped? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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Am nesia? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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in the short term, if a trauma is so challenging for your brain to deal with it, yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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yes. Supression is a normal reaction/coping technique [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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no - not normal - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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yes. its also normal to remember it, or to remember it much later, or to remember more detail later. wide variety of "normal" responses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm moving from a very large institution with over 30,000 employees to a small family business with 40 employees. I'm wondering if the new company will actively follow how I use my health insurance? I'm doing IVF now for the first time and would prefer they not know. TIA 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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They will know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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they will know - sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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Yes, they will know. They may resent cost. It may bump up cost fo group. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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OP, will they know all the details, how soon do they find out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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As soon as you or your MD submit to insurance, they will have access to knowledge of procedure and reimbursement. They may choose not to access -- but depending on cost, they may look at. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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Oy. Thanks so much for your response. Do you know if I can use my current insurance with cobra while I continue these procedures? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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I think you can exhaust your cobra and then enroll; you wld have Cobra for 18 mos and then have the right to "special enroll" check online and then confirm w HR at new place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know the cutoff score for PS 110 g&t? Anyone get in with a 97 or 98? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.19.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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dc got a 99 and we didn't even apply to 110. i am sure they accepted kids with at least a 98. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:06 PM Flag
[ - ] How many miles a day do you need to run (while limiting calories) in order to start losing weight? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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I lost weight running 2-3 miles a day but I was in my early 20s. Everyone's metabolism and body is different. Some of my friends had to eat a lot less and run a lot more to lose weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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It depends on how many calories you are eating. Calories in. Calories out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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They say to work off a bag of crisps you have to run 1.5h at speed 12 if you're over 30. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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You need to go for cardio mainly, no weights. Keep your heart pumping with lunges, running, squats... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:03 PM Flag
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You can lose weight by simply cutting calories. I lost 30lbs on ww by learning portion control [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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NP - what did you do when you got hungry? I just started WW this month and I'm ravenous most of the day and especially in the evenings. Congrats on your success! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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np: veggies, veggies and more veggies. the only way to really make WW work for a lifetime is to change the way you eat in addition to portion control. IOW, you have your fish or chicken and then you have 3 vegetables on the side or 2 and a salad. i snack on cucumbers, baby carrots and grape tomatoes. i limit wheat products as well, eating rice or sweet potatoes for carbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:03 PM Flag
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Thanks so much for your response. I'm so hungry and I always crave carbs, I think that feeds on itself. I'll buy more veggies! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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I stopped eating/drinking anything with a calorie(including little snacks/fruits/drinks) after dinner. Just water.. So helpful so far. So hungry in the morning [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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you do realize that it's not a threshold situation. Every increase in caloric expenditure, combined with every decrease in caloric consumption, adds up to either weight loss, or at least a slower pace of weight gain. If you expend 1700 calories in exercise and reduce your baseline food consumption by 1700 calories, you lose a pound. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Any advice on how to deal with (other than micromanage) a client who's at a large company and makes you (the vendor team) look bad by not giving you updates, forgetting to tell you about meetings or that meetings are canceled, does not do what he says he will do... 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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This is really tough. How long have you been dealing with this client? Do you have a good or bad relationship? Does he/she have a superior who see that these are issues (is CC-ed on emails where you ask for things by certain deadlines)? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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Also, honestly it sounds like he is intentionally trying to sabbotage you. Is there just bad blood or is he just god awful at his job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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He is just awful at his job. Usually he throws vendors/agencies under the bus. I am tough so he does not try that with us, but he does not support us or defend us (especially when he's the one who screws up). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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It's been a year. Client has a boss who is useless and not involved in the day-to-day. If his boss were any good, he'd have gotten rid of this guy long ago. Client is a nice guy but this is wrong role for him and I am forced to be the bad cop and do his job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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Aside from being awful day to day, how is this impacting you? Does your supervisor think that you are screwing up or does he/she understand the client problem. What does your supervisor say to do about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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My supervisor knows our client is inept and acknowledges I am doing everything I can. Our client's inefficiencies make my job so much more difficult since I'm constantly following up, re-hashing, re-explaining... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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I know exactly how you feel. I have had a female client like this and honestly half of my job was covering my ass in emails and making stalking phone calls to get the information I needed. It added so much anxiety to my life. Honestly, I just stopped working on her projects. This was my choice because I had many clients. You're kind of screwed. Can you move off this business somehow? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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The business is going away in a few months but time is passing slowly! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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Those fucking clients! What the hell are we paying them for anyway!?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Do you even work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Yes, but not sure why that's relevant. You're the one who can't do her job here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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Huh? What are you talking about? I can do my job. My client is by far the worst I have worked with. He does not know what he is doing and I am doing his job. That's not supposed to be the relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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Explain how OP can't do her job. That's a weird observation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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She's about to lose this client. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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OP no, there was a consolidation on their end and they are forced to move business to another holding company. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:27 PM Flag
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You're an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:27 PM Flag
[ - ] An abusive parent beat down my self-esteem so much that I don't think I'll ever repair it. Now I'm afraid to have children and screw them up. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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+1. I saw a therapist and it helped, but I can't afford it now. If you can do it, it'll be great help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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op: I posted below about trying to find a therapist. I've been looking for the better part of a decade. :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Jesus christ. Youre an adult and can control your actions.I'd you don't want to b4 abusive, don't be abusive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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Wow. You sound like a very intelligent person with a brilliantly nuanced understanding of human behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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Ok. I'll rewrite it with my key board. Jesus christ. You're an adult and you can control your actions. If you don't want to be abusive, don't be abusive. Better? The message is still the same. The wallowing in it and move on with your life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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OP: I've finally made the decision to go no contact. It's extremely difficult because I have a large family that includes mostly people who only see the "charming" side of this relative. I will probably become the bad guy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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^^Sorry--I misread your post. Yes, I don't want to be abusive. I'm just afraid for some reason. This person is the only parent I have ever known.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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^^Also, this person was abused by my grandparents and is aware of it. So being aware is not a perfect inoculator. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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np. If you grew up that way some of it is part of you. I don't want to yell at my kids but sometimes it's just an automatic reaction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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Or. The problem with some of the women on this board, is they think abuse and discipline are the same thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:05 PM Flag
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Ok, I will elaborate for you. My parents used lose it on me for small things and go into those yelling rants, completely useless, except to intimidate and scare you. That wasn't discipline. My mom never hit, but she called me an idiot and loser, I was not older than 6-7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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OP: I didn't write this, by the way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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Agree. Start out with self awareness and therapy. After having kids, the abusive behavior might be an automatic reaction sometimes, but you will retrain your mind to do it the right way. I'm sure you will be an awesome mom, op. Don't punish yourself for something that was not your fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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pp. Yes, OP work with someone and examine your behavior, I have learned to recognize the triggers and can control myself. It's not easy, but you can do it. And just genuinely show your kids how much you love them every day! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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awareness is the first step [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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The only thing that can fix this is therapy, and sticking with it, and doing the painful, hard work. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Shouldn't 97-99 scores get G&T placements before siblings with a 90? Shameful to shut out so many children, it seems. I'm glad we didn't have this issue when we applied. Wow. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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shameful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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right? np here w/ no dog in the g&t fight. but honestly, the fact that you are hanging your hat on a few points derived from testing 4yo's is actually what is shameful. keep families together. and take a deep breath before you throw words like shameful around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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It's not just a few points. The difference between 97 and 99 could be 20 errors. It's shameful to use "keeping families together" as an execuse. When you enroll an older kid at G&T, you should be prepared for the fact that your younger child may not make it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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Plus, this is a merit based program. Academic ability, not family convenience, should be the deciding factor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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Actually, no. Siblings priority is a good thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:03 PM Flag
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Sibling priority is enshrined in the DOE's regs for all elementary schools -- for good reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Sibling priority teaches a kid that "family relationship" trumps everything. So we should go back to Monarchy government where family relationship rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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what??? this is bs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:23 PM Flag
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we are talking public schools dear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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Public elementary school are strapped for cash and rely on family involvement - for fund raising, volunteering etc. It cannot happen unless you give some sort of sibling priority as a trade off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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HUNTER-- the most selective elementary school does not have sibling priority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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it does not belong to the DOE genius [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:23 PM Flag
[ - ] good summer camp in manhattan where 9 yo can improve his swimming? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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Physique swim camp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Leman has daily swimming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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Anyone know if PS 110 G&T only took 99s? Any 97/98 get offered a spot? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Sorry, meant to start a new post... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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We sent DS to St. Bart's summer camp because they have their own pool -- swim every day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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asphalt green [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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Trinity [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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Poly Prep has great swimming and busses from Manhattan I believe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 02:16 PM Flag
[ - ] did kimmy name the dd yet? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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she gave birth already? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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yes but she was 37 weeks and not a preemie as first reported so hopefully both are doing well :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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dlisted said she was 35 weeks and the birth was conveniently timed for the end of their show. If this is true they are beyond disgusting. But I can't believe any doctor would agree to deliver at 35 weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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kleopatra [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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rumor is Kaidance Donda West or Kai Georgia Donda West [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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why do you keep asking everyday? use the google. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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shut up and collapse, meanie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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supposedly they can't agree on a name. what a shock. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] my breakfast, half a pint of Ben and Jerry's .......thoughts? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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Breakfast of Champions. What flavor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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coffee heath bar crunch :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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One of my favs. Good work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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why didn't you eat the entire pint? at least you got some good calcium [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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is it still a pint, or is it 14 oz like haagen daz [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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yes still a pint! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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good for them. i feel cheated if it's only 14 oz (i used to eat a pint in one sitting when i had a mind to - then came ample hills and i no longer want any other ice cream) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Yum. I need some Chubby Hubby! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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you can have mine lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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