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[ - ] Question for all the doves on today. In November 2016 and you going to swallow hard and vote for Hillary despite the fact she is more hawkish than any likely republican candidate? Or will you vote your anti-war conviction? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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not going to vote for her, but democrats will vote for her because anti-war debate is not hot button now (though it conceivably could be in 2016). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Who is the nicest celebrity you've met? Me: Justin Timberlake. He was so nice and down to earth. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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Matt Damon-nice guy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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He seems like he'd be nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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Kelly Rippa was very nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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Joan Rivers, very sweet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Christina Applegate. The worst was the Malcolm in the middle kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Charles Osgood from CBS Sunday Morning Show. Very nice, good sense of humor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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Mark Wahlberg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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How's your mother? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:08 PM Flag
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Tired from fucking my father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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Hey howz ya mother do'in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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I met JT too! Can't out myself but he was so nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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Gilda Radner and Joanne Woodward [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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Henry Winkler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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Met him as well! Very, very nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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Streep followed by Hawn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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I've met a lot and I can't think of any of them who weren't nice. It's part of their job to be nice in public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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Former chief UN weapons inspector Hans Blix was gentlemanly and highly intelligent/astute, and in multiple languages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Two preschool questions: 1) My son is 16 months old and I'm currently looking into preschools. How do you decide what "philosophy" works best for your kid?? Is there a particular type of "schooling" that's good for the stereotypical limited attention span and very active little boy? So far my son's social and verbal skills are probably on the average to slow side but he loves to climb and push everything, take things apart and put them together, etc. Is there a concern that some preschools may be too structured or can they all generally accommodate all types of attention spans and energy levels? 2) Some programs are 5 mornings a week and some are 2-3. What do people do about their FT nannies? Seems unfair to cut hours but if my only option is 5 mornings a week, I don't love the idea of paying FT for half time work. TYIA! To clarify, not interested in TT private kindergarten. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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Your child will be a young 2, be virtue of having a birthday after March. There won't be formal 5-day a week programs unless they are glorified daycares like Elf, and I would question if he will be ready for one anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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My baby is the same age and I'm applying too. As far as the philosophies go, I'm not too concerned about them. They all have their advantages and disadvantages. I am applying to all the schools within walking distance and if I end up getting a choice I plan to go with the school where I like the people the best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
[ - ] We need to fly to inlaws (NYC to Chicago) next week for an emergency. I could not get tickets all together in coach (was trying to use points) but was able to use points to book three first class tickets. Do you think that the people in First Class will want to kill us if we all sit in FC? I would normally barter the tickets for something in coach together but do I have to? FWIW, DC is very good on planes usually and should be a behavior problem at all. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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should not be a problem at all. ^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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I don't see the problem. How old is your child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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He will be 3 in November. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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He has been on many flights and he is usually really great but he is still 2 so I cannot 100% promise he will be perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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It's only a 2 hour flight. If you can fly FC, then by all means go. It's not like it ever stopped anyone before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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That is what I am thinking. It is such a short flight and it will be so much more relaxing for us with more room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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Only 2 hour flight -- half the people in FC were upgraded anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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OP: That is what my DH said. He always ends up upgraded without even asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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no. you paid for his ticket (even if it was by points). give him an iPad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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+1 Or toys that will keep him occupied. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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Obnoxious. I would hate you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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No problem, but put kid in window and make certain he doesn't kick seat in front of him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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Honestly, when did first class become a bar? If you paid for a seat, you have the right to be there. Think nothing of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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+1. screw them. don't act scared. you'll need it as NY-->CHI is about a heavy a business market as there is and virtually everyone else in FC will be an elite flyer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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your money/points are the same as anybody else's. Do you think big fat smelly guy asks himself the same Q ? I am thinking not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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I would not want to kill you. I've flown fc with dc before and nobody killed us. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Public school parents: What do you think of politicians who say "class size doesn't matter" while they cut school budgets? Do you feel better about the 30 or sometimes 35 students in your dc's 5th grade class if you know the money for more teachers was spent on giving your dc a laptop and a kindle? Is that the way education can improve? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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There are many studies on the class size issue. The results are at best inconclusive for older grades. 30 kids in 5th is not a big deal, imho. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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Thanks for your reply. So just to clarify, you prefer that money be spent on smart boards, laptops, and kindles while keeping class sizes 30 or 35, correct? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:49 PM Flag
[ - ] My baby is starting PreK Thursday! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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Mine, too! I can't believe it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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This is my youngest. Free UPK, it's the jackpot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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WoW! DD didn't start till she was almost 4! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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She is a 4.5 yo baby... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have experience getting a dishwasher installed in a Manhattan apt? Lowes wants $350 which IMO is exorbitant, but not sure who the next go-to is - plumber? contractor? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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Do any of the free installation deals apply to Manhattan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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free installation is never for dishwashers apparently. checked w HD too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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can your super do this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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he won't :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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It's not a terribly difficult job if you've done it, but it's hard enough that people who haven't done it are intimidated by it. A plumber is going to charge you just as much, probably more. Trust me, Lowes knows what the going rate for installing a dishwasher is. They're not in the business of pricing themselves out of the services that they make all their money on (they make A LOT of money on the installations.) Your best bet is probably a good handyman who can do this job for $150, assuming you have other people there to move and remove the two units. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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well, they charge extra fees for Manhattan which I don't necessarily think a local person would. but the idea of spending $350 to install a $500 DW seems insane. ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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are they taking away the old one? that in itself is worth it imo - unless of course you have access to a van and a dumpsite [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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That's a delivery and removal service. That is normally free. Installation is totally different and it usually costs money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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Have lowes do it so it's warranteed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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call around, you can probably find another seller who has a deal on installation. that's too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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I just had a new dishwasher installed. Not in Manhattan, though. Shop around! Places like Lowes, Best Buy and Home Depot have installation specials by brand. I paid $39 for installation on a promo deal. Do not attempt this yourself as PP wrote! I am as big a DIY person as they come, but no way would I attempt this! It would have taken me 6 hours to do what 2 installers can do in half an hour. Keep in mind you always have to purchase the hose kit in addition to installation. That's another $30. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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^^P.S. I have posted about this here before and it is worth repeating. Check with Lowes to see if you are exempt from sales tax on your dishwasher if you buy it with installation included. In my state, if you buy with installation there is no sales tax; if you buy with no installation (install it yourself or pay a handyman or plumber to install it), you have to pay the sales tax. Sears, Lowes and Home Depot know the regulations in your area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
[ - ] How much would you expect to pay for contractor to put in top of the line nicest long plank oak 6" floors, put the plywood under floor underneath, take out old crap floor and take out saddles and base boards in a 1200 ft apartment? Top of the line I told him, Thanks. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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$25k probably? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:14 PM Flag
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$35k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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Don't forget you need to replaster and repaint after this..this is a very big job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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All in with floor this is $45k and doesn't include the fact you need to move out if you live here already, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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You don't have to replaster and repaint after you put a new floor in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Builder's wife here. You can not *possibly* get an estimate from strangers on the internet. There are all kinds of variables no one can take into account. Call someone local and get some ideas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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Unless they work in the industry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Even if they work in the industry there could be many variables that need to be considered that OP did not list here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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You can still give an educated ballpark guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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Is there plumbing in the floor, any HVAC, any rotten wood that most contractors don't know about until the top floor comes off, what kind of underlayment are you going to use, what kind of vapor barrier, is it solid oak, and if so how thick are the planks? What kind of trim do you have around the room because that will most likely have to be replaced, what do subcontractors cost in your area, how much does a permit cost where you are, how is the waste going to be disposed of, etc., etc., etc. Pfffft. Yeah. Get an internet guess and budget for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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yep like the markup the contractor will take on the top line flooring. You need to figure out how much the flooring you want costs per sq ft and then ask the contractor how much he charges to install it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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Material $10 sf, labor to install $10 sf. Demo and removal $3-4 sf. Repaint and plaster $7 sf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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what are you demoing? are you removing the old floors? $10/sf for install is ridiculous. Repaint and plaster isn't charged by sf. Are you OP? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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$10sf for material is on the low end. If OP wants top quality I would say to estimate $20sf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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Read: the builder needs to come in and suss you out, see how rich your home looks, and figure out how many other jobs he has that he'd rather take before deciding what the price will be. Short of a home that is completely wacky with all kinds of odd angles, more doors than usual, a ton of small rooms, whatever, a builder should be able to know, roughly, that 1200 feet of that kind of flooring will cost X, with a percentage for loss and some overage. He should, if he's any good, also know that it should take his guys two or three or five days to install 1200 feet of flooring, roughly. What could swing the price more than 10% in either direction? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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^^ And yes, I get that I'm coming across as snarky and mean. Because I'm related to some builders and I know all about how the price changes depending on what car they see in the driveway, what job you have, how nice you are to them, and whether or not they need the work. That last one is the big one- I know roofers who quote people 2 times their normal price if they're busy just because they can't take the job right now, but if you're stupid enough to pay it they'll rearrange their other jobs to take your big check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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lol so true and op saying "top of the line floors" chi ching price just went up for the same floor... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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My husband is a builder his price is THE price. What the person's wealth is or isn't does not affect us in the least. That's insulting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Ha ha ha haaa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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nothing. its a job that costs per sq foot. OR is BSing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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lumber liquidators.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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we just did something similar. bought the wood separately from a specialty plank flooring place (not lumber liquidators) and then had them recommend 2 flooring contractors to install it, who came and gave me estimates. cost me about $37k in total for 1500 sq feet. top of the line solid hickory prefinished flooring, demo & haul, moving furniture, etc. we didn't move out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there any point in having dc take the Hunter HS test if he barely scores above the cutoff? I heard it's incredibly hard. Harder than the SHSAT. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 09.02.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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Sure. Just experiencing the test situation helps your child get a sense of any future test-taking (think SHSAT, SAT, ACT). I think it's also important because it shows child how involved others are in testing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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The cut off is a high score. There is no difference between "barely scores above the cut off" and scoring way above the cut off. The more important thing is whether your dc can write a good essay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Random question - Do adopted Asians do equally well on the standardized tests as Asians with Asian parents? And do Asian kids with parents born in the US do equally well as Asian kids with immigrant parents? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 09.02.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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I suspect the answer is no but I have never seen the stats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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Interesting question. Nature or nurture? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Nurture [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:29 PM Flag
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I expect nurture for standarized tests to be of value since it seems OP is keeping nature as a constant. Thus I expect the kids with tiger moms score highest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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Some do, some don't. I adopted my child in a group of about 20 families. Most of the babies were the same age within 2-3 months though a few were toddlers. They were from 2 different orphanages. We have a reunion every year. Some are with parents who make a modest living. Two are homeschooled. Some have parents who are university professors or doctors or lawyers. There are a few who seem fairly average in school and one who has eventually turned out developmentally challenged, whose adoptive parents are both HYP professionals. I think how the girls do is both a reflection of who they were when they arrived plus how involved their parents have been in their upbringing. Generally adoptive parents tend to go to so much trouble to go through the process that they are very dedicated to how their kids turn out. However you can only make so much magic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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The best performing kids in my dc's school, by far, are Asians with immigrant parents, followed by Asians with American born Asian parents. Asians adopted by non Asians perform just OK, like average white kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:51 PM Flag
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this would be my expectation as well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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this is not scientific, just anecdotal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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Just based on the observation... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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the asians score higher even in 3rd generation but their grades are not better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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hah? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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their scholastic aptitude is still higher, which i gather to mean IQ/innate intelligence. but their discipline/diligence falls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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Loo, they don't have higher IQ, just study study study [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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i don't see how you can say they don't have higher IQ. it is a documented fact. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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Lol, if they are so naturally smart why has not it occurred to them to improve their manners once they settled down in this country? Ever sat on a #4 train next to a couple of obviously genius old Asian people? They talk loudly, smell repulsively, and have no clue on how other people perceive them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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standarized tests measure knowladge/discipline/diligence not intelligence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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no, sat scores have traditionally been a highly correlated proxy for IQ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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yeah, I find it unlikely that the asian kids who don't get good grades do so well on the SATs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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they don't have to "don't get good grades." they simply have to get average grades, which i imagine means B's? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Let me rephrase, I expect there is also a strong correlation between grades and SAT scores [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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no, there (apparently) actually isn't. and it is one of the reasons some schools, including the ivies, are talking about dropping the SAT score from the application consideration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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That correlation has gotten weaker over time as the test has morphed and prepping has exploded. This latest change from the college board is another step in that direction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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yes, getting weaker all the time. but a big part of it is that it has been dumbed down with every test alteration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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but it should be noted that throughout the world, the chinese routinely and repeatedly dominate the upper echelons of the societies to which they immigrate. it is very evident in thailand, burma, philippines, malaysia and indonesia. it is also somewhat evident in singapore. and this social/economic supremacy holds even after many generations going hundreds of years and even after "affirmative action" plans (such as in malaysia) in favor of the native are put in place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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They don't do so well here though... Outside of highly specialized research- based fields [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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i don't understand what your definition of "not so well" would be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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Not true. We have several adopted Chinese girls in my dc's g&t, and they are pretty much at the bottom of the class academically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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you should understand the difference between data crunching and "several adopted chinese girls in my dc's g&t." and isn't it a little ironic that the girls are in gt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:52 PM Flag
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one more thing, adopted asians do about as well on IQ tests as non-adopted ones. this was studied in some minnesotta korean adoption studies. i don't know about achievements, though. i imagine achievements are lower without pushy parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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Nonsense! How come we haven't heard about Chinese or Korean constitutions to the civilization until now? They should have produced a couple of Beethovens or Mozarts or Tchaikovskys or Einsteins or Rembrandts or Leonardos or Degas, etc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:16 PM Flag
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I have an adopted Asian child and I don't waste time thinking about this. Wtf do you care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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I have an adopted Asian child and I don't waste time thinking about this. Wtf do you care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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My youngest adopted dd is smarter than my biological dd, but biological one scores higher on standardized tests (I think she cares about doing well and my youngest is basically the Honey Badger) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
[ - ] 39. Will be 40 soon. I think I'm having a midlife crisis 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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Who isn't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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i dunno just want to go out party etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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i'm turning 30 in a few weeks, not the best feeling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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I'm 48 and have never been more vain in my life. I feel like I'll be a wreck as the big 5-0 gets closer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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Everyone's had a turn to be young and everyone will have a turn to be old. Even our precious little ones will be old people someday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay moms of teens - what would YOU do or say here? Your 17-year-old DS was hanging out with a girl from his school, but then that suddenly stopped. You lightheartedly ask him what became of her, and he states bluntly that they were going to start dating, but he "looked into" her past and discovered "too many" former boyfriends, and added that he wasn't interested in "sluts." So they aren't on great terms anymore. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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I would say "dear, it's not nice to refer to young ladies as sluts" while secretly agreeing with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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"DS, you are free to make any decision you want about who to date and why. you need to watch you language though - it reeks of misogeny. i didn't raise you to be a jerk. let me know if you want to discuss this issue further, but if I see any more evidence of this type of thinking, you and I will be doing a woman studies class together designed by me." does he go to an all boy's school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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yes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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+1. I think we're getting away from the fact that regardless of her sexual status (and honestly, even dorks with big boobs who were years away from seeing a penis are called sluts. Story of my life) a girl is not a "slut" because she'd had sex with someone who is not you, or even with you, if you are a self-hating asshole, like one probably closeted asshole I dated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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AMEN! Love the women's studies class! Great idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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Nothing to do or say. It's probably a good thing they didn't get involved. Also, your ds will be moving on to college soon - he doesn't need a girlfriend at this time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:36 PM Flag
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Oy. For one thing, I would ask him how he KNOWS that she slept with all those guys. People used to call me a slut in school and I hadn't ever touched a guy, but I had developed early. I would then tell him it's his prerogative if he KNEW that she had slept with a lot of guys if he didn't want to date her, but I would explain that is almost certainly from either some trauma in her lifetime or a desperate need to fit in or something equally sad, and even if he doesn't want to date her, he can be kind and keep in mind she's probably hurting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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It doesn't matter if she did or did not have sex. A girl who has sex is no more a "slut" than a boy who has sex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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Oh, come on. As much as we all want gender equality, it's not like that, and you know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Be the change you want to see in the world. It starts with opportunities and conversations like this with our kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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True. But it has to start somewhere, like with a mother who installs good values in her sons. By women raising their boys to think of girls as people. This board is mostly women, who, I assume, want to be treated as equals? And who, I assume, have had sex with multiple people. Are we all sluts? If so, then proud slut power to us all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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np: these days, i hear many a boy called a slut too. that said, neither a boy nor a girl is a slut if they don't actually "Get around". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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You must rebut those kinds of phrases. You are integral here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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+ 1000000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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This is really interesting. I was actually going to post a similar question on UB. My oldest son has a new girlfriend and is totally infatuated with her, though she is younger and closer to my younger son's age. The younger son recently told me that he has found out that the girl has been with "a lot more guys than his brother knows about." I told him "don't tell your brother anything about this, it's his business and not your job to be the sex police." But I have to say it has made me potentially think of her a little differently. I'm not sure how I feel about it. My older son is the "friend zone" type and is thrilled to have a girlfriend. The younger one is the one the guys usually go for. I am happy when my kids are happy, and no one's getting married ... but still made me feel weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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Oh in the last part I meant girls. But whatever. Same difference. He has no problems dating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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1) you assume what he says is in fact true, which is often not hte case in HS; 2) and even if it's true, so what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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(1) I think the message you sent to your younger son was great. Good job. (2) it is okay to feel unconfortable about it - your kid, dating, sex, etc. all pretty big and uncomfortable issues. Make sure someone reiterates the talk with OS and be there if he needs you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Expecting mom (any day now), and we'll be needing a FT nanny starting Jan. 1. We intend to pay on the books. I haven't found a nanny yet through personal recommendations- is it better to pay the premium level for Care.com or spend the money to work through an agency? We are not rich, and this will be a huge cost for us, but I'm hoping we only have to do this once. TIA 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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there are so many nanny reccs I'm seeing for ex on a mommy board I'm on- why would you go through an agency? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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Because agencies have an extensive list of qualified people looking for work immediately. This is not always true of mommy boards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:30 PM Flag
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not true! having hired a few nannies over the past few years, including via an agency, the ones that come with strong referencs and especially from a family committed to finding them a new placement are often the best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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That doesn't make my statement untrue. Of course if you can get a recc from a friend that's best. But the reason people go through agencies is that an agency has people readily available while friends may or may not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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Francis Stewart Agency [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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except for people i know who were looking for say an English governess type, no one i know who worked through an agency was any happier than the people who got their nannies through other means - word of mouth, online, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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It's a lot less work though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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this really depends. IME, the agencies really don't vett their nannies very well and regardless of what you tell them you want, often send people who don't meet the criteria. so it's still hit or miss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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I'm a nanny and was throughly vetted by the agencies I've worked with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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maybe it depends. but i've had several friends complain that the nanny who was supposed to be legally authorized to work, was in fact NOT and that the agency hadn't checked. and many an agency will not tell nanny candidate that a job is on the books, wasting people's time when nanny does not want ot be paid on the books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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OP: I'm totally open to the mommy boards (I'm currently on 3), and there were lots of postings for nannies starting in September because of school transitions. I guess I could just wait another couple of months and see if there are postings in winter, but I feel like I should be starting interviews soon. We could use someone part-time as soon as November. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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My neighbor got her nanny last year through Bell Family, and they were able to connect her to services that help them pay on the books. Care.com was too expensive. good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Care.com is about as cheap as it gets. What are you talking about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:35 PM Flag
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Right- Care.com is $79 for three months. I thought many NYC agencies take a percentage of the nanny's annual salary which could be in the thousands of dollars. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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A lot of agencies just take a placement fee. But it is often in the thousands of dollars, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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Agencies goes through Care and Sittercity. You should save your money and do the leg work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks- helpful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Agency do the initial screening of nannies, but you still do the interviewing, and theres no guarantee they will be the perfect fit for you either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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I'm a nanny and was interviewed more than once by the agency that placed me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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Yeah, and then you were interviewed again by the parents. Right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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Nanny here, and FWIW the agencies I've worked with found me because I responded to an ad from them. They interviewed me multiple times, check my references throughly, did a background check, and asked me a lot of questions about my experience and childcare "philosophy." I'm sure this is not true of all agencies, but it has been true with all three that I've worked for over the years (not in NYC). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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This was how it worked for me too. Signed, another nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Need a warm winter coat. Over monclear 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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Parajumper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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cute. thx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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moncler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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Jokes aside, Canada goose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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I am so over these. NP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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Don't they mistreat coyotes to get the fur for the hoods? There was an article about it last winter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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Arctyrex if you're looking for something technical looking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it a bad idea to apply to a preschool if you haven't yet been on a tour? In some cases the applications are available now and acceptance is often first come/first serve but tours don't start until October or later. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 09.02.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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Not at all. That's the typical order. Get app. Tour. If you like the place, continue the process with a playdate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:08 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:25 PM Flag
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None of the schools we applied to offered admission without the tour and meeting the child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:09 PM Flag
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OP: Yes I realize that you need to tour to get accepted, but my question is do you need to tour to apply [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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no! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:20 PM Flag
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apply first. I don't think any of the schools our daughter applied to offered a tour w/o having applied. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:21 PM Flag
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You usually apply first, then set up a tour. Not all the schools work this way but most do. I think STMPG you set up a tour then decide to apply but I think the rest you need to apply first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:14 PM Flag
[ - ] I need a weight loss pill.. Suggestions? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:17 PM Flag
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Alli worked for me. Yes, you will have embarrassing problems if you overeat while taking it, but I think that's why it worked so well for me - it made me afraid to eat too much! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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np: did that ever happen to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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No, but a couple of my friends had some "accidents". Luckily I did not have to learn the hard way! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Why? What happens? Gas? Worse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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Worse. Alli works by blocking the absorption of a percentage of the fat you eat. Normally, this non absorbed fat exists your body through the normal elimination process. If you eat too much though, the excess fat will leak out uncontrollably. A friend ruined the upholstery in her car. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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GAH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:40 PM Flag
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Right?! The instructions are very clear though - you'll be fine if you don't exceed 13 grams of fat per meal. I kept it even lower just to make sure. My friend didn't listen and tried to use it with an Adkins diet that was heavy on fatty red meat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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I can't believe people are willing to shit themselves in public to lose weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:58 PM Flag
[ - ] What are reasons a 50yo may have trouble being hired for a job? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:10 PM Flag
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Age discrimination. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:23 PM Flag
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+1. My DH came up against this, so did my BIL. DH landed a job, thankfully, but BIL is likely going to do contract work until retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:24 PM Flag
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OP: Can you be more specific? What deficiencies does "50" represent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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Do you not believe age discrimination exists? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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+2. I used to be able to get jobs in a breeze. I started randomly applying for positions (I'm presently employed) and won't get call backs after the interviews, even though I thought they went very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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And how does one mask their age to be more likely considered? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:28 PM Flag
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It doesn't work that well, but leave off graduation dates, exact dates of employment or any date that pinpoints exact age. Do a CV based on topics of experience rather than chronological. (I haven't applied for a job for years so don't know if anyone still uses a chronological CV.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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It's difficult to do, even assuming that you "look" younger than you are. If you list the year that you graduated from college/graduate school, an employer can do the math. Same as when you list the years of experience in various job. You could try to get away from it by only started your CV from the most significant job. For example, if you spent the first 10 years of your career working up to the big director role you landed when you were 32, then start your CV with that job. That shaves 10 years off of your age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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The face he or she is 50 years old, to start with. Duh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:26 PM Flag
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OP Not helpful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:27 PM Flag
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I hire people sometimes, and I'm very cognizant of not judging people by their age. But older workers do tend to come in with a sense of "let me tell you how you need to be doing this." I think they think they're coming across as confident, but it kind of sets a bad foundation if I say "here are the job requirements - how do you think you'd approach them" and they say "oh, well, you've got to be sure you're doing this. And then did you do this? And of course you'll have had to do that, too." They don't really talk about what they'll do or how they'll achieve the results we need - they talk about what "should" be done. It's almost like they're interviewing for a consultancy gig rather than a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:18 PM Flag
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Agree (and I'm over 50). There is the feeling that older hires will want to come in and get right into their own familiar groove of how they get things done, that they won't be fresh thinkers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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This is interesting, signed older worker [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:39 PM Flag
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And don't get me wrong - I really want an older, more experienced worker to make my life easier and show me a better way to do it. I want all my workers to do that for me! But there's a weird vibe I get with some of these folks that is sort of "look, we both know that I'm better at this than you, so I'll pretend you're the boss but I know what to do so I don't really need you to get involved. Just give me this job and let me do it." They rarely ask back to me "well, what are your goals for this position? I know a lot about this work, but I have to know what you want the position to be about." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:49 PM Flag
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This is spot on. When I interview older men, so many of them seem to immediately mentally categorize me in the 'daughter' part of their brain, which is better than the mistress part, but still not helpful for getting the job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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I see age discrimination where I am currently employed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:19 PM Flag
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I have seen age discrimination at every job since I was in my forties. How many people actually get to retirement age in your office and retire? Not many I bet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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This was my nanny. She was laid off over 50, no one would hire her despite successful long career as a cpa. So, she started nannying. She said it's impossible to get hired or lose weight once you turn 50. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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I would disagree with your nanny on both counts. It's not impossible, but it's harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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I am a recruiter. Age discrimination is rampant in the industry I work with. Anyone over 50 has a very tough time, especially if they were let go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:22 PM Flag
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Which industry? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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In addition to the age discrimination, and sometimes arrogant interview skills made above, there's also the overqualified factor. Employers don't want someone who thinks they are being underpaid and/or underutilized but they have only so many high level openings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:34 PM Flag
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They intimidate the 30 year olds interviewing them for a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:32 PM Flag
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Are you asking why people discriminate? They assume that an older person is set in his/her ways. They also assume, rightly, that they will pay more. Thirdly, we're a psychotically youth-oriented culture so some folks don't even like to LOOK at a person much over forty. Three good reasons there. I'm older than fifty, btw. So I don't defend these ideas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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ITDA that older hires will be paid more. Many people hit their earning peak, get laid off, and take significant pay cuts just to have a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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All other things being equal would you rather hire someone for whom the salary offered is a big pay cut or a big pay raise? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.14, 09:06 PM Flag
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