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05.25.13, 01:33 PM
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You never know. About anything or anyone. It's why I'm never ever jealous of anyone, for any reason. Because who the heck knows what the real story is?
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05.25.13, 01:46 PM
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Op- that is such a good philosophy. You are SO right!!
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05.25.13, 01:46 PM
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They obviously do live beyond their means.
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05.25.13, 01:40 PM
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Op- the thing is I don't see it at all. No fancy vacations, handbags etc... Two kids both had FULL scholarships!!! I am so worried about this. I am worried for her
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05.25.13, 01:44 PM
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Maybe she is living beyond their means ? Debt for their kids colleges ? Maybe she doesn't have a decent paying job ? Debt can accumulate fast in a blink of an eye.
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05.25.13, 01:42 PM
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Op- 2 kids had full athletic scholarships, modest home, no great vacations etc..... This is weird. She is normally the level headed one. I am deeply concerned. I know where she works and it is decent paying for sure. Like I said not amazing but she shouldn't be in this position. I'm worrie there is more o this. I just don't know what
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05.25.13, 01:46 PM
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Maybe an addiction ? Gambling ? Does her husband work ?
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05.25.13, 01:47 PM
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05.25.13, 01:32 PM
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Me either I randomly ended up here after college bc a friend got me a low paying job. I kept working my way up, met dh and stayed here w ds (I'm also on the UWS). I have things I never even knew I was supposed to want. I never take any of it for granted.
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05.25.13, 01:35 PM
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I was born and raise in another Country, move to the States with a summer job offer, came here with a basic English knowledge, met DH and ended staying. Crazy!
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05.25.13, 01:38 PM
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05.25.13, 12:05 PM
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People really need to learn to respect boundaries. I have a friend who regularly texts me befor 7 am and another who sends messages after 11. I am 39 weeks pg and hardly sleeping as is. Drives me nuts.
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05.25.13, 12:15 PM
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* 11 pm that is!
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05.25.13, 12:16 PM
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Turn off your phone or text sounds. How is texting someone overstepping a boundary?
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05.25.13, 12:31 PM
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It's not. Some people can find fault with anything!
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05.25.13, 12:39 PM
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Texting is contacting someone, as is calling. You don 't call someone that early on a weekend.
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05.25.13, 01:22 PM
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nope
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05.25.13, 01:27 PM
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I agree. I don't find texting invasive. I just don't even look at it, until I'm ready to respond.
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05.25.13, 01:36 PM
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Yes I probably would. But I don't sleep with my phone and if I do have it in the same room I have sound turned off.
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05.25.13, 12:23 PM
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I wouldn't specially if it is not an urgent matter, specially the weekend.
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05.25.13, 12:20 PM
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Yes. I've never thought of texts as something that depends on the person being awake. Turn your texts notification sounds off.
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05.25.13, 12:26 PM
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This. That's like thinking someone should be awake before you email them.
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05.25.13, 12:27 PM
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np I think the above sentiments are more common in the younger generation. How old are you, OP?
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05.25.13, 12:27 PM
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Define younger. I think of texting for anyone but very close personal friends to be something only the "younger generation" does anyway.
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05.25.13, 12:31 PM
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OP: I'm 34. It wasn't a business question. I sleep with the phone by my bed and I keep the sound on in case of emergency (I always keep the sound off for email). We don't have a land line.
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05.25.13, 12:37 PM
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By why do you text w her instead of email, given that you describe her as a former colleague rather than close friend?
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05.25.13, 12:36 PM
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OP: We have kept in touch, but are not close friends. She initiated (the text wasn't in response to something I had sent earlier, it was personal, not business). I text with plenty of people (assorted age ranges and relationships) - but am mindful of timing, I've always assumed that people leave their text notification on at all times. For whatever reason, I consider email to be different (and maybe that's b/c I always keep the sound off on my phone for email).
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05.25.13, 12:54 PM
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I text whenever I feel like it, assuming the person's alerts are off if they're sleeping. Now I feel like a jerk! I'm gonna do a poll on fb now and make a note of how my friends deal with this.
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05.25.13, 01:39 PM
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So keep the sound off for text.
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05.25.13, 12:38 PM
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And I'm am sure everyone knows your phone rules and that it is on for emergency only. Come on. Get a grip. Its a stupid text. Get over it.
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05.25.13, 01:34 PM
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+1. That said, I don't actually text w anyone but DH, nanny and a couple of mom friends w kid related stuff. Would always email for even remotely professional purposes.
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05.25.13, 12:29 PM
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^in answer to np, I'm 42
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05.25.13, 12:30 PM
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Ah, okay. Well...I think age has something to do with it then. Get used to this. Texting is not something people constrain to moments when others are awake.
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05.25.13, 12:40 PM
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That's Ok. If my nanny, DH or girlfriend needs to text me at random times, I can deal. Everyone else would be emailing, especially a "former colleague"
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05.25.13, 12:43 PM
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OP: posted above, we've kept in touch, but I don't consider her a close friend. It was a personal text, not at all business-related (and I don't mind that she texted instead of emailed - I text a lot - it's the timing that annoyed me).
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05.25.13, 12:57 PM
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I guess I'm saying that if you text the same way others email, you should expect to receive them the same as email too
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05.25.13, 12:56 PM
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+1. I get annoyed when someone texts me early because it wakes me up - but it is my fault for not turning the sound off.
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05.25.13, 01:33 PM
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That's ridiculous...so now we have to turn so it off for the comfort of others ?
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05.25.13, 12:52 PM
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No, for the comfort of yourself. I sleep through text notifications. If I did not I would turn it off for MY comfort.
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05.25.13, 01:24 PM
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If you don't want to be freaking woken up then yeah
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05.25.13, 01:36 PM
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+1
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05.25.13, 01:31 PM
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I send texts when I think to send them. If they are asleep, I assume they won't answer right away.
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05.25.13, 12:29 PM
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But sometimes they just wake people up. It is annoying.
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05.25.13, 12:34 PM
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So turn off your text sounds. Would you be annoyed if I emailed you and your phone notified you?
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05.25.13, 12:39 PM
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I have those sounds off, but my texts are on in case of an emergency or an important notification.
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05.25.13, 12:53 PM
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If it's that important, you will get a phone call, even in the middle of the night. You can safely turn the text notifications off.
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05.25.13, 01:29 PM
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An emergency text? Wouldn't someone CALL if there was an emergency?
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05.25.13, 01:25 PM
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It's a TEXT. If you're sleeping, TURN OFF THE SOUND!
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05.25.13, 12:43 PM
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Apparently you don't care for sick parents, some ppl cannot turn off their text or phones. Just be smart and send an email instead of a text that will wake ppl.
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05.25.13, 01:02 PM
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I do have many people who rely on me. In emergencies they call. IMO, texts are not meant to wake people up for an immediate response or they would constantly beep until answered.
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05.25.13, 12:58 PM
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Some ppl are lite sleepers. Just send an email and be thoughtful
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05.25.13, 01:02 PM
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this - texting is not for emergencies
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05.25.13, 01:22 PM
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This this this
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05.25.13, 01:41 PM
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Eh my emails sent an alert to my phone too. I don't have a problem w/people sending texts or emails anytime - if the sounds annoy me I turn them off. I don't have to answer them right of way. If they called me it would be more of a problem.
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05.25.13, 01:23 PM
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I send texts and emails in the middle of the night when I can't sleep and am catching up.
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05.25.13, 12:44 PM
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Ar you kidding, right ?
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05.25.13, 12:39 PM
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np I do this too. What's to kid about?
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05.25.13, 12:40 PM
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Huh??
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05.25.13, 12:46 PM
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Nope unless I was asked to send it early. I don't send text before 10am esp on the weekends
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05.25.13, 12:57 PM
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Yea I think this is a generational thing and I am on the cusp at 32. I get texts at odd times from people who assume my phone is off-- and I don't mind it. But people older than me probably wouldn't.
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05.25.13, 12:57 PM
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Texting late is like calling late, rude. I refuse to turn off text or phone since I have elderly parents but if you need to end me anything late send an email...not a damn text. Think of others
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05.25.13, 01:01 PM
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I disagree because it does not demand your immediate attention but you can always ask people not to text you after 10pm.
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05.25.13, 01:24 PM
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No, texting late is like emailing late. And you can turn off JUST the text sound if it bugs you. I have a hard time believing your elderly parents will text you in an emergency.
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05.25.13, 01:26 PM
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Never. Send an email, though this could also wake people up. Don't assume people can turn off sounds, many of us have to keep them on because of kids or parents.
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05.25.13, 01:10 PM
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Wouldn't that be the ringer that you need to keep on? Who is emailing/texting bt not calling in true emergency?
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05.25.13, 01:09 PM
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this!
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05.25.13, 01:21 PM
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You can turn off your text or email notifications without turning off your ringer, grandma.
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05.25.13, 01:27 PM
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I don't think it's the "grandmas" with this issue. It's the 30ish crowd who text everyone and have merged boundaries and want to impose rules on others rather than establishing boundaries.
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05.25.13, 01:34 PM
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Lol!!!!!
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05.25.13, 01:38 PM
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If it is a work matter that I need to know before heading to work the next day, good send me the text, but if it is something you can easily tell me or text me the next day when I am awake, please don't text. This is why I leave my text sound on, but it doesn't mean I should be available to you 24/7
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05.25.13, 01:45 PM
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05.25.13, 11:47 AM
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Way better, people don't want to admit but from an exmissions pov, private is a huge waste of $ they always mention intangibles like "connections" that it is so overrated,
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05.25.13, 12:36 PM
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For many people private education is not about what college your kids gets into!!!
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05.25.13, 12:39 PM
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LOL riiight, you can tell this by UB obsessing with HYP
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05.25.13, 12:46 PM
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Thank god I am not one of those people and UBers are not my everyday friends!! Quite possibly many UBers think that they are buying a ticket to HYP with a K admission to Trinity, but that would not be me.
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05.25.13, 12:57 PM
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You really have no idea what you're talking about. On a percentage basis, Hunter is the only one of the schools listed that is anywhere near Collegiate, HM, Trinity, Brearley, etc. That said, College bragging rights are not the only thing to think about when choosing a HS. These can be tough years and the right environment for a particular child can make such a difference - public or private.
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05.25.13, 01:30 PM
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05.25.13, 11:43 AM
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How about paying them back over time rather than in a lump sum? Would that allow you to honor your parents and still buy an apt?
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05.25.13, 11:46 AM
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It will, but this being New York, we aren't going to have a lot of money left over with mortgage and my parents are in 70s.
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05.25.13, 11:55 AM
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They've told me it's from my will money so that I don't have to pay them back,but it might be the entirety of will money and I feel an obligation to give them money back. Math wise, if we half savings between the two, neither goal will be satisfied for a long time.
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05.25.13, 11:58 AM
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np-I think if you have an honest and open conversation with them, then it is OK to not feel too pressured to pay them back right away. It probably is your inheritance that funded the rent, but it seems like the are OK with that. It's nice when it all works out (nice parents, appreciative/thoughtful kid). Best of luck!
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05.25.13, 12:01 PM
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Thank you. I feel so stuck with this, this was nice to hear.
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05.25.13, 12:06 PM
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I'm glad...also, maybe it's better, tax wise, for them to give it to you like this, rather than in one big chunk...I'm not a CPA, but my in-law gift a hefty chunk to spouse and in-laws once a year, so it's probably something similar. Maybe just make sure to let it be all open to your sibs so that when it all settles out, they understand (if you have sibs).
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05.25.13, 12:44 PM
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sorry, that should be "spouse and brother/sister in law once a year"
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05.25.13, 12:45 PM
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+1. If it is money that would come to you eventually, in a way it makes sense for them to give it to you now, as you avoid inheritance tax. My only concern is that you say they could "use the money" - are they struggling to pay their own bills? if so, then I think you should repay them (at least some). If not, I would put aside whatever you can after mortgage etc, in anticipation of having to help them later. You say they are in their 70s - they could live another 20 years potentially.
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05.25.13, 01:37 PM
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It it is this then get the apartment and move on. Your parents may need you in others ways in 5 - 10 years. BUT if you think they really do need the money then pay it back.
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05.25.13, 12:02 PM
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If they are ok with this, then pay them back later or make small payments.
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05.25.13, 12:28 PM
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Pay them back later if they are okay with that.
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05.25.13, 12:30 PM
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If you have siblings, if this amount is material, suggest parents adjust their will, and subtract it, with interest.
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05.25.13, 01:03 PM
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I agree except for the interest amount.
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05.25.13, 01:33 PM
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05.25.13, 11:16 AM
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If it is true OCD, which can be thoughts and not behaviors, meds and therapy. My DD has what she refers to as Sticky Brain. A thought comes in and sticks. A great child psychiatrist, the right meds and lots of work on her part.
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05.25.13, 11:45 AM
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Acknowledge, "oh that's me and my 'sticky brain' forgive yourself and move on. Keep busy.
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05.25.13, 12:36 PM
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NP: If it is true OCD, while the sentiment is nice, this alone will likely not be enough.
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05.25.13, 01:38 PM
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NY Schools
05.25.13, 10:46 AM
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I think you should apply to all three. Don't limit yourself 4 months before the application process even begins
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05.25.13, 10:45 AM
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T is evident from your post that haven't got a clue about the K process. Your chances of you ds getting a spot at these schools range from ain't going to happen to very unlikely. You, my friend, aren't going with any school you mention.
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05.25.13, 12:01 PM
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This is obviously a fake post that is meant to stir trouble.
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05.25.13, 12:18 PM
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Collegiate is much smaller school.
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05.25.13, 01:09 PM
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05.25.13, 04:50 AM
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90
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05.25.13, 04:53 AM
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:( why don't you get a divorce?
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05.25.13, 05:00 AM
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Prob will
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05.25.13, 05:06 AM
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Me too. He gets mean when he fights, lots of name calling and never apologizing. Then he expects me to forget and go on as if nothing happened. Hate him most of the time now, other times indifferent. Will get out asap.
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05.25.13, 07:23 AM
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5%
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05.25.13, 04:59 AM
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OR - maybe less. But I think this factors for the intensity when we do fight.
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05.25.13, 04:59 AM
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Does he call you names
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05.25.13, 04:55 AM
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OR - no.
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05.25.13, 05:02 AM
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we fight but name calling is NEver allowed
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05.25.13, 04:59 AM
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Fight about what
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05.25.13, 05:00 AM
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anything. trivial to deep. but it;s only ever when we are stressed out. as soon as the voice is raised, i realize i am wasting energy. we figure out and/or move on
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05.25.13, 05:05 AM
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Ever cheat
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05.25.13, 05:13 AM
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+1
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05.25.13, 05:05 AM
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37
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05.25.13, 05:05 AM
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99%
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05.25.13, 05:33 AM
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0%. We argue, but I never hate him.
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05.25.13, 05:40 AM
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Me too
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05.25.13, 06:12 AM
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15%
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05.25.13, 06:46 AM
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I get really mad at him but not hate involved.
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05.25.13, 12:29 PM
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never
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05.25.13, 12:37 PM
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05.25.13, 04:46 AM
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Nah. We have the best sex like 5 times a week as it is.
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05.25.13, 04:50 AM
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Anal
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05.25.13, 04:51 AM
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Yes
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05.25.13, 04:51 AM
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Yes with my ex. The sex was amazing.
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05.25.13, 05:05 AM
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Why
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05.25.13, 05:00 AM
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Because it was primal and amazing.
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05.25.13, 05:13 AM
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Did you come very time
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05.25.13, 05:09 AM
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Perv alert
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05.25.13, 06:15 AM
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Anal
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05.25.13, 05:08 AM
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Of course
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05.25.13, 05:06 AM
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Definitely.
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05.25.13, 05:45 AM
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+1
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05.25.13, 07:29 AM
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Women are skanks
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05.25.13, 05:50 AM
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Nope
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05.25.13, 07:53 AM
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Quite possibly
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05.25.13, 12:37 PM
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8 Replies
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05.25.13, 04:40 AM
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Big tits shaved beaver
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05.25.13, 04:42 AM
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I mention this same thing to my friend. The weight, teeth, makeup, and overall grooming of say 90210 then and now is startling.
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05.25.13, 04:49 AM
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Every era has their trends but it is odd to me how much more "perfect doll"-like female ideals are becoming.
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05.25.13, 04:50 AM
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i like watching older movies where actors had real teeth
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05.25.13, 04:50 AM
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Golden Girls?
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05.25.13, 04:50 AM
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Most any show pre-2000
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05.25.13, 11:47 AM
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I don't consider this to mean improvement.
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05.25.13, 11:34 AM
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Neither do I.
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05.25.13, 01:10 PM
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18 Replies
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05.25.13, 04:38 AM
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1-2x/week
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05.25.13, 04:49 AM
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At night
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05.25.13, 04:44 AM
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5 times a week using vibe
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05.25.13, 04:44 AM
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Usually daily when I get the chance, but sometimes I am just not in the mood. Hate that.
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05.25.13, 04:51 AM
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At night?
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05.25.13, 04:47 AM
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Yup it knocks me out lol.
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05.25.13, 04:54 AM
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Props, porn?
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05.25.13, 04:49 AM
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Porn or imagination and vibes
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05.25.13, 04:58 AM
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Me too
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05.25.13, 04:53 AM
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Imagine what
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05.25.13, 04:58 AM
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Every night, anal beads and vibe
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05.25.13, 04:56 AM
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What are anal beads?
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05.25.13, 05:05 AM
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They are beads you put in your bottom and slowly pull out as you get excited
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05.25.13, 05:01 AM
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That's nasty
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05.25.13, 05:56 AM
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np- stfu. Anal beads are completely normal.
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05.25.13, 12:30 PM
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Often vibe and pinch nipples
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05.25.13, 05:08 AM
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Often / Porn and manual stimulation. I have a couple vibe but they do not do the work for me.
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05.25.13, 12:31 PM
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2x week
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05.25.13, 12:37 PM
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25 Replies
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05.25.13, 04:31 AM
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Yup
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05.25.13, 04:34 AM
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NYC sucks
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05.25.13, 04:52 AM
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no- people suck, not cities.
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05.25.13, 04:58 AM
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To many jews
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05.25.13, 04:57 AM
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what would you like to say to many jews?
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05.25.13, 05:01 AM
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lol
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05.25.13, 05:06 AM
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Good one!
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05.25.13, 05:06 AM
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Too
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05.25.13, 05:07 AM
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Failed in life and hate those that didn't?
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05.25.13, 05:07 AM
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Your ass is huge isn't it?
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05.25.13, 05:11 AM
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No, I'm a wealthy jew with a home gym and personal trainer 3 x a week and yourself?
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05.25.13, 05:23 AM
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Did you steal it
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05.25.13, 05:25 AM
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Aaaaaaaaah, so there we have it! If we are wealthy it MUST be because we somehow stole our wealth and this, somehow, directly impacted YOU. How about just realizing, you being a succesful human being, simply was not meant to be. I know you gave up a long time ago and I applaud you for this. There is no reason to strive for greatness in this life, when you clearly cannot achieve it.
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05.25.13, 05:30 AM
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OR- If you are wealthy good for you, but bragging about money and possessions is tacky. It is sad this is the only weapon you have to attack the other nasty responder, you should try using your intelligence or just ignore her.
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05.25.13, 12:29 PM
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Hey. I get what you are saying and kind of agree. However, I tend to throw whatever irks people the most, at them. In this case, and just about any other, anti semites hate us because of our perceived wealth, which in my case is true. I revert to a 12 year old when i get pissed.
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05.25.13, 01:04 PM
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P.S. writing this from my pied a terre in Montmartre/Paris. Does it hurt?
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05.25.13, 05:34 AM
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np: you sound really sad
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05.25.13, 05:47 AM
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Ha! Not at all. I live life to the fullest and I know how amazing the world/life is. I've never been called sad before. Besides the terrible things going on in the world, the last time I felt truly sad, was when my cat passed away, which was six years ago. She was awesome and didn't care that her family was jewish :)
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05.25.13, 06:04 AM
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Animals are so much better than people...
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05.25.13, 06:06 AM
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Agreed :(
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05.25.13, 06:07 AM
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+100000
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05.25.13, 06:11 AM
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Especially bigots!
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05.25.13, 06:11 AM
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And jews
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05.25.13, 06:36 AM
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I don't live in NYC, but for 2 years I lived in NJ and had the chance to go to the city often, I would definitely live there. You do not need to hate every new yorker, every city/town has good and not so good people living in it.
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05.25.13, 12:27 PM
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"want to bes"?
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05.25.13, 12:36 PM
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14 Replies
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05.25.13, 04:19 AM
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You need recs. for therapists?
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05.25.13, 04:20 AM
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So fucking what
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05.25.13, 04:21 AM
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this. This is the weirdest post.
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05.25.13, 12:45 PM
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You're not "objectively speaking" when it comes to your kids being gorgeous. Fwiw, there are lots of homely kids around with stunning parents.
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05.25.13, 04:29 AM
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Not in this case. There's lots of outside corroboration.
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05.25.13, 04:27 AM
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Right, they are obligated
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05.25.13, 04:32 AM
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Doesn't matter. Your opinion (especially of something as subjective as looks) where your children are concerned can not be objective. Your opinion could align with majority's opinion, or not, but it is not objective.
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05.25.13, 12:43 PM
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Does he plow you in your starfish
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05.25.13, 04:26 AM
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Man, the midnight, insomniac, drinking crowd is rough.
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05.25.13, 04:32 AM
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Does he give you golden showers
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05.25.13, 04:32 AM
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I'll shit on him call me
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05.25.13, 04:42 AM
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What is the question here?
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05.25.13, 11:12 AM
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VBA I'm thinking. Very V.
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05.25.13, 11:35 AM
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Your insecurities about yourself are going to ruin your marriage, now I doubt you have an absolutely gorgeous husband and kids.
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05.25.13, 12:30 PM
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