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[ - ] At around what age did couples you know who got married in their mid/late 20's start getting divorced? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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early to mid 30s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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When their kids were 3-4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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Late 20s early 30s. There was a moment when almost all of my friends who had married on the early side were divorced, and the second batch hadn't started. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:08 PM Flag
[ - ] The reality is Carrie could have never nabbed Big. The minute he walked into the bad and saw her playing with the twenty something guy's tongue he would have been out of there. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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The minute he saw that horse face he would have been out of there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Giddyup! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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Chemistry is a funny thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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chris noth did call the character a whore. he sort of made it into a tongue in cheek about female empowerment but the fact is, serious men don't take loose women seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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And she loose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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was he calling big or carrie a whore? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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**Bar not bad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone heard from The School at Columbia? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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we live near there - really weird people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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c'mon, how so? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
[ - ] dumb question - family photo shoot this weekend. I have dd in a chunky grey sweater, blue cord skinnies and silver ballet flats, ds is in blue cords with white button down, dh in greyish pants with a burgondy zip pull sweater and boots - what the hell do I wear! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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burqa [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Blue dress with tall brown boots, accessorize with sliver and/or burgandy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Where do you live? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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op - NYC, UES why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Lol we could have guessed this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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My guess was Garden City. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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Pink silk ball gown and a tiara. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Pregnant with my second child and already experiencing hint of Braxton Hicks at 19 weeks. What the hell?! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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You need to drink more water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Please. Talk to your OB, not UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Oh god, please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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Take it easy, drink more water. You don't want those to turn into a real problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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I had them very early too, DB just wouldn't stop moving. Make sure you tell your OB, I had to go on bedrest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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Op: okay just googled it and, yes, they can come as early as 20 weeks. But still, so strange! Why does everything happen SO much earlier with subsequent pregnancies?... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
[ - ] 10 yo DD went to a birthday party this weekend. She said the host mom yelled at her about touching props of a science presentation. Do I call the mom to ask or let it go? 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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why is this even a question? people can yell at your kid. you have to teach your kids to deal with rude people and ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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It has been bothering me all week. I feel like I should just hear what happened from the mom's perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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OMG. Both you and DD need to learn better coping mechanisms. It's not a big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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If this bothers you, you must be a delicate flower. How do you survive in the work world? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:09 PM Flag
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of course it's bothering you. but there will be other moms and adults. learn to let go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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Not true. "People" cannot yell at my kid at their leisure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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I doubt the mother was yelling at leisure. DD was doing something she shouldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Np - Maybe, maybe not. Some people are high-strung. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Agreed. Although I wouldn't call. These things happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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I wouldn't call either. But I certainly don't think it's cool for other people to bark at my kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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OR - I agree with you. It's not okay but I'm not going to call the other mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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well, they can unless you duct tape everybody before they come into sight of your dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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Np - You yell at other people's children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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When they touch my props, I bust their chops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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You can easily get your point across without yelling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Maybe this girl doesn't respond to quiet and polite requests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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no she would [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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If they are doing something unsafe, then yes. A birthday party is chaotic and if she saw a child getting into something she may have said, "Stop it." And the little snowflake took offense because no one's ever spoken to her like that before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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I'm the original responder nd I can assure you my child is not a snowflake. My parents were serious disciplinarian (spankers). However I do not cross the line with other people's children as it's not my place. "Stop it" isn't yelling but if someone crosses the line with my children they're going to have to deal with me. Period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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thank you for saying this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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i didn't say people "should." i said "can." it happens sometimes because the world is not perfect. deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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yelled, as berated? or chided? If she was touching something she was not suppose too, i'd understand. Although it probably would have been nicer if the mom heeded a warning. Maybe stressed out or something. TLDR: i'd let it go [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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I would not call. Maybe she was not close by and had to yell so your DD would hear her. And at 10 she should know to keep her hands to herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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I wouldn't bother calling but I'd make a mental note of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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Touching props? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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they had some type of science presentation for the party [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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I don't see the problem here. She just wanted her to stop doing what she was doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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the problem is she yelled at DD. she could have talked to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Maybe she couldn't "talk" to her. She had 10 you running around and messing up the presentation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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This. It's like "Stop That!" What more is there to say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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Was the presentation in progress? Maybe the host needed quick compliance so the presentation could continue rather than pulling her aside and making her the center of attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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You must be fake. Why is your kid touching something at another persons house that doesn't belong to her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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um cause she is a curious child [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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A 5 yo, yes. But 10, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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That response can't have been from the OP. You can't be this blind and disingenuous. This whole post is fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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THIS! It's not all about her, especially at 10. And the fact that you would excuse her behavior because she's "a curious child" leads me to believe that she has never heard "no" and thinks people "are just being mean to her." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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What constitutes yelling? "Chloe dear, please don't touch that" is not yelling. Neither is "Chloe, I've asked you not to touch that." Just being told "no" is not offensive. "Get your grubby mitts off of that, you little shit" is a different story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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I don't think she swore or anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Then you have to give the mom the benefit of the doubt. She had a lot going on and your DD was out of hand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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DD isn't the type to get out of hand. I don't appreciate the yelling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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Then talk to her about how to behave at other people's houses and parties. IF she were behaving properly, this wouldn't have happened. You are making excuses for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you put your DC in a school with more rigorous academics but not the right culture fit for your child or family? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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Elementry school. k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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What is it about the culture that is not a right fit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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It's a district g&t. We are UMC white family and zoned for a great gen ed downtown. The school with g&t class has mostly Fobby families, not white. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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fobby?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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Yes big time Fobby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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what is fobby? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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Fobby? OK troll. I'm not sure you fit in anywhere if that's how you think. If you're not a troll, I'm sure your kid will be just fine, and you could learn a thing or two. Win, win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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Flagged and collapsed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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No, sounds doomed to failure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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What does "culture fit" even mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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Pls see my answer above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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Your child is likely to fit in just fine. The culture fit is more of an issue for parents wanting to make friends, which is not first priority. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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DC says school is not her. Too many non white kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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Sounds like she needs to be around non white kids before she turns into RM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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Sometimes that backfires. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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Your dc says this? Wow you are a terrible mother. And I never say that kind of thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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First time for me and I take pleasure in saying it: Fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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Then don't send her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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She says this at 5? What is going on in your house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:52 PM Flag
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Fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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I'm guessing you're white and the other school is Asian/Russian gunners. Also take into consideration that the rigorous academics may just be rote memorization and test prep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I just met a seemingly wonderful man. However, there are a few red flags - I am not sure if I am overreacting or if I am valid to feel this way. 1. He started calling me 'babe' after like 3 days of talking. 2. He got drunk and told me he is falling for me and isn't used to caring about someone. 3. He has had 5 serious girlfriends, lived with one but is 39 and still not married. 4. He cheated on his last girlfriend. 5. He is still friends with all of his exes and communicates with them on chat and social sites. Red flags or no? 52 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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Yikes why can't you find a normal guy to date? All of these are red flags and you know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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I don't think all of there are red flags. Everyone has a history at 39. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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they seem ok. how does he treat you? don't worry about other people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Well he is very forward with me, calls/texts when he says he will, but a friend of mine also dated him and said he was the same way, then sort of just dropped off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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can't know until he does it. keep dating but do not sleep with him until sure exclusive. is he paying for all meals and seeing you every weekend? some of those should be satudays and not just friday nights. a guy will let you know he's serious by things other than words. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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yes, but he also lied to me about something. I also found out he slept with a girl his best friend was dating but he said it was a misunderstanding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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Did he fess up to the lie in a clean and straight forward manner? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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when i called him out on it, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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what was the lie? the girl thing you have to let go. he didn't mistreat a girlfriend. he mistreated a best friend. not great but might not affect your relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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but what about the cheating on his ex? he didn't admit to it but i know because a friend of mine slept with him while he said he was dating his ex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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Could you ever trust him long term? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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I am not sure. I just feel like there are certain things I see as red flags. There were also two times I was with him when he had to make phone calls and asked to be alone, which makes me think he is keeping someone on the side. I have no idea, but he didn't say who he was calling and I couldn't be there. It seemed very weird to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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Holy cow. Read all the replies you just wrote. You shouldn't waste your time with this guy. How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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28 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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I say this with the best intentions, please work on yourself. Ditch this guy and think about how badly he's already treating you!! Print out this post and read it later [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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You kind of buried the lede with number four there, didn't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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I suppose. Is this a huge red flag? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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NP: You, OP, think calling someone "babe" is as bad as cheating. Or conversely, that cheating is OK as being friend with exes? What happened in your past life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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I'd call the combination a big yellow flag. If you gave us a list of 5 of his awesome qualities, that would help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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He is smart, ambitious, attractive, funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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five, my dear, five... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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he seems nice/open-minded [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:40 PM Flag
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this is the thing. and i did tell you above to mostly ignore his sleeping with his best friend's girl, but... you want someone who is nice to everybody. not just you. is he nice to the waiters and the homeless guys as well as his boss? you kind of know when a guy is nice. you seem hesitant and i think it's for a reason. nothing you have to do right now but just keep an eye on things. if you still feel this way after 3 months, it's time to end it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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OP: yes, and one other thing is that he has showed me photos of other women or pointed out women in public who he said were very pretty or "hot" yet never once said anything about my looks or complimented me on anything about myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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Is this fake? He sounds awful. Do you have really low self esteem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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No, I am pretty confident in most aspects of my life. I just don't know if I am overreacting to all of these things. it is not like he did anything directly to me, I just find these things irritating. But you're right - i should let him go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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you need to can this guy. you have these feelings for valid reasons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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or: I don't know you or him, but all you've described seem to be a player. Even the positives. You didn't say he was kind or caring or took good care of you or was good natured. Just keep an eye out for this. And meanwhile have fun with this wonderful man and get to know him better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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op: yep, this is what i am worried about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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If the shoe were on the other foot, what would he say are the red flags about you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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I am suspicious about some of these things so maybe that is a red flag from his perspective. I also called him out on a thing or two when his stories seemed inconsistent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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Everything besides #4 seems fine. I'm a little skeeved by "babe", but that's more of a social class thing, not a red flag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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He also told me that he is not sure he wants to get married/have kids bc he doesn't want to be tied down, but then said at another point when we were together that he feels like he wants to have children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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i'd let him go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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I hate it when couples call each other babe, personally. What were the circumstances of the cheating? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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I don't know exactly. I just know a friend of mine slept with him while they were dating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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Hmm. What's her story on the encounter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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He had been talking to her for months on and off, when they finally hung out they slept together and i guess the girlfriend called while they were together and he had photos of them together next to his bed. She said he also hit on another woman while they were out together [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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Uh, this guy does not sound like a wonderful prospect. I'm sure he's charming and fun, but he's immature. I'd move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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If he's willing to starting moving towards a serious commitment, agrees to have children and agrees to stop communicating with past girlfriends (beyond passively following them on social sites), then maybe it's fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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What kind of job does he have? Has he been too busy working to really focus on his personal life? Happens to lots of guys in high stress jobs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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his job isn't particularly stressful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Of course not, he's so chill and laid back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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Is this the guy who got a promotion and said he was a BSD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter what he's done before. The question is whether he can commit and give you children on your timeframe. If he can't, move on. But be clear with your needs. He can either meet them or he can't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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op: yes, i know. I just think I am apprehensive. He is very good looking and charming and seems to have left a trail of ladies behind pining after him, all of whom he still keeps in touch with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Fine. But enough about him. Be clear about what you want and see how he reacts. If he cannot meet your needs, move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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That's pretty egotistical of him don't you think? He doesn't want hem but doesn't want to let these women move on. He will do the same to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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Everything I'm reading tells me you might have some fun with this guy but he's not going to be the one. So if you have time to waste, go ahead. Otherwise, next! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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How old are you? This guy sounds awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, this is why I post here sometimes. Looking back at this thread I can see it all pretty clearly. I just don't know if I am letting a good guy get away, but you're right - the charm and good looks don't really do much to make up for all of this. I'm 28 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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run. you do not want to be dealing with the specter of his exes on chat and social sites. that will never end well. he is telling you who he is, LISTEN. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Take 2 this may be a silly question, but I'm 6 weeks pregnant - is it ok to get salad from a salad bar type place (i.e. Just salad) if I'm not getting any deli meats? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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Listeria is a possibility in those salads too. But the worst thing would be to get food poisoning. Bc you're body's defenses are lower when you're pregnant. So you're just susceptible to get sick from various things that wouldn't affect you normally. Eg food poisoning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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yes, you are still ok. but there is a small risk because it is uncooked foods. if you want to be sure, get a burger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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OP: Meaning by that logic I shouldn't (in theory) even eat salad at home that I wash, etc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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yes, but salads at home is better because you know it hasn't touched raw egg or been cut with a knife that cut undercooked beef, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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I would say avoid. Remember what you are trying to avoid is Listeria which can be life threatening for your child. Avoid anything that is high risk in terms of harboring this bacteria. Use your judgment- if the salad bar is high end and not open, then the risk is lower. I'm actually someone who DOES eat sushi while pregnant, if it's from a reliable high-end source. It's all about common sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Can someone please explain to me why parents are against the common core? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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They don't understand it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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they are dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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I don't have a child yet in school, but my cousin explained it to me. She said the actual concept is good, justbthere is just no standard teaching method for it so that is where the translation gets lost in classrooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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How hard can it be to learn to teach anything k-8 if you've been trained as a teacher? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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spoken like someone who has never stepped foot in a classroom. You should open a charter school! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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C'mon. It is Not. That. Hard. It's k-8. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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I would hope that a trained teacher would be able to communicate and teach thoroughly. But just from reading this site, it seems there are confused kids and parents still. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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I agree, but teachers don't feel this way. All the elementary teachers I know are complaining that "but they haven't even TRAINED us how to teach this!! It's not fair! I'm supposed to teach a curriculum I only got three weeks ago?" It's like they're all convinced that unless everything is spoon fed to them and taken at a pace that they're comfortable with they just refuse to engage with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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Because they're too daft to realize that they're also using a system that they were taught in second grade to do addition and subtraction, but because the system that's being promoted now is different than that they think it's "wrong." My kid is in NJ, so he doesn't have the horror show that is the NY curriculum, but the way they're teaching him to to three digit addition, for instance, is much more in line with how we all actually do it in our heads. If I ask you to add 135 + 280, you don't set up that equation in your head and start carrying the one, etc. You do it like this - 280+100 is 380, + 35 is 415. Which is how they're teaching him to add. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:32 PM Flag
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Tx. Helpful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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That's not dictated by the CC. That is a feature of curriculum, not the standards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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actually this is dictated in CC - conceptual & procedural fluency is called for and specifically students are supposed to be able to take apart numbers and put them back together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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I don't think parents are against the common core itself - ie, the higher set of standards kids need to meet. The problem is the implementation - focusing on the testing, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:36 PM Flag
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OK but how do you check for understanding (or teacher competency) w/o a test? I just don't get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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You don't need all the testing to know when you have a good teacher. The testing is out of control. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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How do you check for understanding or teacher competency then? Hope-o-meter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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Nope. It's pretty obvious who the good teachers are, and any competent principal/AP knows through observation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Can't figure it out either. My 3rd grader is deep in it now and I love it - so intuitive and she's really figuring out how math works this way. I secretly judge people who whine about how hard CC is on facebook. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:39 PM Flag
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I openly judge those people among my friends. Especially when those people are themselves grade school teachers, who go on Facebook and post "OMG!!!! I can't figure out how to do this problem!!!!!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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I don't think CC is hard but if you use Go Math the instructions are unreal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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Can't believe there wasn't a common set of standards before common core. THAT seems nuts. Every school just did their own thing with some vague parameters? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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Nope. Every STATE had their own standards and public schools followed those. Charter schools and privates just did their own thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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Then why did exactly 0 people refer to "New York State Standards" ever? Sounds like they were standards in name only. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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Every state did. Which is why New York's scores plummeted dramatically last year - because the old standards that they had been using for years were so easy that most kids passed them, on purpose. Now the Federal government says "no, if you want our money, you have to meet these objective standards." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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Good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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This feels like a canned discussion. Are you kids interns for TFA, by any wild chance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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OP here. Just a mom who is just don't get other parents. I got flamed the other day here for suggesting you should dress your kid nicely for school. People were like, oh let them be children. t-shirts and elastic waist pants fine. I'd never send my kid to school in a t-shirt. Parents treat school like daycare today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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Oh, boy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Got it. So you're poking around here looking for reasons to feel superior to everybody else. Sheesh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:00 PM Flag
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If there are common national standards, shouldn't there be a national age range for each grade as well? For example, in NYC, you have 3rd graders who may only have turned 8 in December taking the tests in April/May but in other parts of NY or states with earlier cutoffs or that allow red-shirting, you may have children turning 10 being held to the same standards. Especially on the reading and writing, an extra 18 months makes a big difference in what a child can understand and articulate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:48 PM Flag
[ - ] I have two friends who are in love with each other, but neither of them are willing to make the first move. If he just put it out there, she would go along with it. Would it be wrong for me to mettle? DH says to MYOB but... 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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dh is right [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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I've been observing their little banter for six years! They're perfect for each other on so many levels, we all agree that they're in love. I just don't want them to waste the chance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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Not your call. MYOB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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If its been that long - you gotta do something! Its not a big meddle!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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quit being a busybody. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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Are they adults? Has it always been bad timing (one or the other has been dating someone else?) In six years, someone would have made the move or confided into you to try to set them up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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Leave them alone. I was on the receiving end of a similar situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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IMO this calls for meddling if you KNOW they both are in love with each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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You should mettle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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jc. it's meddle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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or metal or medal..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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You'd get a medal if you mettled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:49 PM Flag
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how can they be in love if they haven't even gone on a date? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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That isn't the way love works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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You're confusing lust & fantasy with love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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I loved my husband before we "went on a date". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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I see your retardation is pervasive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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np: fwiw - I think that there are various ways to fall in love. Those who have done it one way can't understand the other. I fell in love with my ex-dh by being friends with him first for years and then dating and at some point developing a deep love for him. We are now divorced and I've been dating a new man for almost two years who I knew I was attracted to in a deep way within moments of meeting him and I knew I was deeply in love by the third date. I used to laugh at people who fell in love this latter way, but it's real and not just for the crazies (and it's totally seperate from lust). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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how niave [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:33 PM Flag
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au contraire! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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What is wrong with them that neither will make a move? Are you sure they actually love each other? (Also, fyi, it's meddle, not mettle.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:28 PM Flag
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I'm just going along with the spelling the ipad gives, lol. But I'm sure, he's a lot more open about it- would never tell her directly. If you knew them, you'd know. She just has a lot of walls built up and I think they're scared of ruining their friendship or being rejected. I don't know, it isn't just me who has observed this. Our entire group agrees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Are they of different cultures or religions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:01 PM Flag
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DH is right. take it from someone who has played matchmaker with friends for years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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Have you talked to both of them about this? Are you sure that if he put it out there, she would go along with it? Or is this what you think/feel? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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They can't be in love with each other, they don't even know each other. They may be extremely attracted and interested in each other, but in love? No way. And don't mettle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:38 PM Flag
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They spend more time with each other than they do with anybody else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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They're not a match because they are both passive. Every decision they'd try to make in life would involve one sitting around waiting for the other to make the first move. Each needs someone stronger and more bold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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How old are they? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
[ - ] this may be a silly question, but is it ok to get salad from a salad bar type place (i.e. Just salad) if I'm not getting any deli meats? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:19 PM Flag
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you're fine either way. life is a lot grosser than you'd like to admit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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OP: OMG - I can't believe I left this out: I'm pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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I'm sure it's safe, but I wouldn't (I'm pregnant as well) too many germs and god knows what else. There are people who don't wash their hands still after using the restroom. blech [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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Pregnancy brain? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
[ - ] I haven't been to the park in a while. Have the trees started to turn? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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do you not have any trees at all in your hood? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:14 PM Flag
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I live in riverdale. They have changed but tend to change more quickly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
[ - ] When you are talking about schools with other parents, and one parent starts raving about her dc's private school being absolutely perfect, can't think of any negatives whatsoever, do you think "Oh that school must be ideal", or do you think "hmm, are you clueless or insecure"? The parents I know all love their dcs' schools, but they will also talk about the things they wish were different. 57 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:08 PM Flag
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life is too short to care about stuff like this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:13 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:16 PM Flag
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If I ran into that situation, I would just think "that school must be a good fit for them." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:12 PM Flag
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+1. There is no universally ideal school, but you can find a perfect fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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OP: ITTA. But if you are trying to learn more about a school and you are only getting over the top raves, do you just look for another parent who will give you a more balanced perspective? Or should you just assume that you have just found the first ideal school and you better apply for your dc stat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:35 PM Flag
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I think "It's nice they love their school,." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:13 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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You sound bitter and insecure. I would be happy for my friend who found a school that's perfect for them. I love my dc's preschool, it's perfect for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:15 PM Flag
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OP: Why can't you love a school and still see something negative. Saying "it's perfect for us" doesn't mean it doesn't have some aspects that someone else might not like. It doesn't mean it isn't a terrific school. But most parents I know can understand this and if they loved their preschool as you do, would have no problem telling a friend "their outdoor space isn't great" or "I wish the music teacher was better". I know your particular preschool is perfect, apparently, but that is pretty rare, believe it or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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You need to get a life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Anger issues? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:30 PM Flag
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You seem like a person who always wants to look for the negative. I would take their comments at face value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:17 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. So you are saying if a person offers unfettered praise of one school, while other parents (who love their kids' schools) are telling you the good and the bad, you should try hard to get your kid into the school that the parent has told you is perfect? Because you should just take their comments at face value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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No, above poster is saying that if someone says her school is perfect, she really thinks it's perfect. Doesn't mean everyone feels that way, or that you would if you sent your kid there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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When I hear this, I sort of assume that they are insecure in some way--or they are in the first month of kindergarten. Every institution has flaws, every single one. That's not meant to be negative, just realistic. You have to be clear-sighted about the positives and the negatives, which is another reason to pick a school because of its fit with your particular dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:18 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you! Perhaps I didn't make myself clear, but this is exactly what I mean. Telling other parents the good and bad shows that you ARE secure about your school! You can love a school, believe it is the perfect fit for your dc, and still recognize that there are negatives. If you insist there are none, I start to question your judgement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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I have loved each one of the four schools my family has been associated with. 3 of the principals have been fantastic and one has been basically fine. Each school had enormous positive aspects and some negatives as well. When people ask about them, I tell them both but also how happy we have been. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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OP: And this is exactly what all the parents I know do, and what I do myself. Mentioning the negatives doesn't mean you are bashing the school. It just makes people think you are giving a full and truthful picture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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I imagine it is the right fit for their needs, not necessarily for mine. I do see positives and negatives at my kids' schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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OP: That's my point -- the discussion isn't about whether it is the right fit for them. It's telling other parents the good and bad about the schools. As you say, you see positives and negatives at your kids' schools and you probably wouldn't mine sharing them if someone asked what the positives and negatives were. At least, none of the parents I know would have a problem with that, because overall they love their school and are happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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Why the hell would I name all the bad things about my school? Who even has these hourly long discussions anyway? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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"All the bad things"?? It just telling people the positives AND the negatives. And of course, you probably don't remember every positive or negative thing about your kid's school anyway. But if you only rave about the positives, and insist it is perfect, it doesn't sound real. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:47 PM Flag
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But why? A friend asks "How does Sophie like school" "Great, she loves art." Am I supposed to list everything I hate? I just don't get conversations like this (unless of course they're imaginary) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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No, if someone says "I'm interesting in learning about some schools in the neighborhood for little Susie, "what's Sophie's school like?" And if they praise it excessively and you say, "that's great, are there any negatives? And you say "only that it's so great I wish it were all year round!". Well, that does sound like a fake conversation, but of course I talked to lots of parents about schools when I was looking for dc. Didn't you? It didn't have to be a long conversation to be helpful. In fact, someone just called me the other day to ask about my dc's school, and while I praised it, I also explained the negatives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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OP: My point is that everyone I talk to loves their school! But when you are trying to find out about a school, you don't expect someone to just offer effusive praise over and over. Every school has some weaknesses and all the parents I know are happy to give it to you because they are SECURE about all the great things in their school. They aren't afraid if they say any negative thing you will despise them or their school. When someone is overly insistent that their school is perfect, it sounds as if they are trying too hard to convince themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:20 PM Flag
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Question: have you ever talked to anyone who offers such unfettered praise? If not, why does this concern you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:23 PM Flag
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Why does this matter to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:27 PM Flag
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They have $45k worth of reasons to convince themselves. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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I would think, "That person knows I'll go on UB and start badmouthing their school and she doesn't want to give me ammunition." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:22 PM Flag
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OP: Wow, talk about paranoia! It must be hard to be you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:24 PM Flag
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At the very least, she knows you're a gossipy hen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:26 PM Flag
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It's an interesting question and some people (not most) agree with me. It's funny the question itself would make you so angry! Want to explain? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:34 PM Flag
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Some people have more positive outlook and choose to look at the glass as half full with appreciation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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So "Accentuate the positives, ignore the negatives"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:31 PM Flag
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I've never encountered any parent who talked like this about their school, public or private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:25 PM Flag
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OP: Nor have I. That's my point. It doesn't sound real, does it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:29 PM Flag
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No, it doesn't. So I guess I don't understand your post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:37 PM Flag
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NP: after reading this entire thread, it appears that the OP is setting forth some kind of hypothetical. I'm not sure I understand why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:41 PM Flag
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I just realized this is the sa troll! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:58 PM Flag
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Sometimes I see posts on UB where a "parent" offers to tell UBers about her dc's school. But then the praise is over the top, and there are no negatives whatsoever (even when someone asks). So it either doesn't sound real, or it sounds like a parent trying too hard. Because in real life, parents talk about the good and the bad, even if they absolutely love their school. They understand no school is perfect. So when someone insists that their school is, it just doesn't sound real. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:42 PM Flag
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So this is really about UB (an alternate universe) than real life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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So you are talking about a hypothetical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:44 PM Flag
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Lisa? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:43 PM Flag
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Courtney? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:48 PM Flag
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OP: Steffie? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:50 PM Flag
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yep! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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But didn't you know that already? I always take what I read on here about schools with a grain of salt. A big one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:45 PM Flag
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OP: I do, too, but I have read very helpful information here too. I don't accept it at face value, but it generally corresponds to what I see IRL. Usually if you ask questions, people will answer freely because they aren't PR folks trying to sell something and they sound like parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Wow, why did I waste my time replying to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:46 PM Flag
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OP: Why is that a waste of time? I don't get you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:51 PM Flag
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Because you are a liar and a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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There is nothing troll-like about this post. You need to get a life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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Op I sort of know what you mean. I have a df and we have girls the same age, attended same ps. My dd got into a school this board loves and considers TT. Her dd got into a ss school that this board doesn't like and considers 3rd or 4th tier. She goes on and on about what a perfect school it is. I always feel (my issue) that I can't say anything or it will seem like I'm bragging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 10.23.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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