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[ - ] Will be leaving my job in August after 9 months. Not ideal, but ill be moving for grad school so it is what it is. I know I shouldn't give more than 2-4 weeks notice, but should I tell them I'm leaving for grad school? Hate to lie (just say I'm moving/great job opportunity?) but feel bad that they'll know I've been keeping this secret for months if I say grad school... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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You say grad school like you've been planning to become a low-life drug dealer. Just be honest when the time comes. It doesn't matter to them.. You're leaving either way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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hahaha seriously. it's nbd. they will be happy for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Lots of people do this. Say grad school. Less of a bridge burner. And doesn't make boss look bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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I would give 4 week notice and tell going to grad school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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A lot of young people leave for graduate programs. They won't react as badly as they would if you were leaving for another job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
[ - ] has anyone started randomly receiving magazines they did not subscribe to? in nyc. we have been receiving sports illustrated for over a month now (and i'm a single mom with a young dd). now i just got an issue of US magazine. what gives? no credit card charges that i can determine. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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They're probably pumping up their circ. I got Time for years for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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sounds like someone is signing you up with the bill me later option [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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this is devious... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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have you made any enemies op? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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yes, we have received a few recently, but not the ones you noted. one was fashion. I have not subscribed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
[ - ] We pay our nanny $15/hr for 50 hrs per week. Is that pretty market? If paying on the books, should we offer to gross up? If not, her take home would be in the $13's which I'm sure is less than she expects. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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By New York State law, all work over 40 hours a week is paid at time and a half for hourly workers. Household employees are defined as hourly workers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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$13's? $750 is 15x50. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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You should discuss it with your nanny. The decision is between both of you; it's not just up to you. If you aren't paying enough, she'll work someplace else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Yes, you should "gross up". 13 is low and that's part of why the industry is so much off books, because many employers don't want to pay more, and the nannies can't live on less, especially in this city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:57 PM Flag
[ - ] My DH sucks at birthdays. I know this but each year I am still disappointed. He has good intentions but never follows through. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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Aw sorry. I know how it is :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Thanks. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
[ - ] I wish someone would guess my age on the grandparents thread :( 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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53 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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31 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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LOL! Love you guys- and I will be 31 this year! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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uh Love is a strong word for UB responders...lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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61 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Do colleges ever see NYS Regents test scores? I've been assuming they don't. TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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They're on kids transcripts if they took them. So, yes. The important question is do private or out of state colleges care about them? Usually not. SUNY's and CUNY's care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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I thought they did, that's why you study to get good grade. Its on your transcript. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you ever give your DH HJs? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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Never in 12 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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All the time. That's all he gets. Sometimes in public under the table. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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klassy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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Yeah, nobody ever notices [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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When I was pregnant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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Once or twice. He prefers oral. So do I. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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You would rather blow him than jerk it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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Nice way of putting it, but yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Yes, he loves them. I find them so boring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:58 PM Flag
[ - ] omg when is Easter? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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a week from tomorrow--unless you are greek. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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next sunday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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Tomorrow. Did you forget? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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yes i did. omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:54 PM Flag
[ - ] 17 month DB had 104.5 at 6 am Motrin brought it down to 101 and he has no other symptoms. Call the doc or see how it goes? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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call the pedi- MD'S DW here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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what specialty is your dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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I've never heard any one call a pediatrician a "pedi" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Call. That's scary high. Dd was like that once, they said to keep her cool by any means necessary, tepid bath, ice pack, whatever she would tolerate. For medication alternate Tylenol and Motrin so it never has a chance to wear off and spike. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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+1 also ice packs under arm pits and where the femoral artery (groin area) lay, help a lot too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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I'd call the doctor but not panic--little kids can spike crazy-high fevers without a problem. An adult, though, would be in trouble with 104.5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't understand why anyone would keep expensive cable when they can buy a really good over-the-air digital antenna for $30 on amazon and then add netflix and hulu to the mix. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:21 PM Flag
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where do you put the antenna? on your roof or on the tv? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:23 PM Flag
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on a book shelf next to the TV stand [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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I was on that other thread. Seems like sports games and basic cable are still something we like. I can't always get all the programming I like to watch through the other services, like Housewives and TLC. DH likes to have bar nights with like 3 games or 2 games and news going on at once on big screens. I dunno. I see your logic, but I guess we still use it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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hulu has the housewives, youtube has pirated episodes of that and versos tlc shows as well as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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Hulu broadcasts current seasons? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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you can go to a bistro / bar to watch games [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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I can go to a restaurant to eat as well, but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy entertaining in my own home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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That wouldn't fly with my husband. He's got his row of recliners and his big screens and beer on tap at home. He doesn't want to go to a bar and have 12 beers and worry about driving home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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np. You know your husband is an alcoholic, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Thanks for the tip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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I can't afford to get a babysitter every time we want to watch games, we like to have people over to do that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Please tell me how I do this. I can't afford cable anymore! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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i have this OTA indoor antenna and love it; has great reception: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00795K7J8/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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please provide the link to such antenna [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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I don't understand why anyone would buy a really good over-the-air digital antenna for $30 on amazon and then add netflix and hulu to the mix when there are so many high-quality free streaming sites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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because not everyone likes to steal other people's copyrighted work ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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It's not stealing; there's no downloading, just streaming. It's no different from when we all used to watch network tv with aerial antennas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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keep telling yourself that. if the aerial antenna can't capture it then it's not network TV; therefore watching that content on those streaming sites is illegal and you can get sued for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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No, you can't. You can get sued for downloading. The site can get sued for streaming. Viewing what's on a site is not illegal. Also, as the model moves to non-commercial and as producers recognize that fewer and fewer people will pay for content, and other funding models come into play (like product placement), this whole issue is going away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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+1 Youtube has this down. There is too much free content in the world for pay tv to continue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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I tried this and the antenna is not good. The picture is staticky. Did I do it wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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move it to a new spot - higher or lower, to the side. reprogram. based on your tv set, there are 2 ways to program it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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We like cable, we have FIOS and watch a lot of sports, it is the best option for us. I can't take my soccer obsessed 8 year old to a bar to watch games all weekend! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay, tell me that this should not bother me, but it is. I have a live-in that I pay a daily salary for cooking/cleaning/and supervising the kids. When she started, we discussed the daily tasks, but never set a schedule. So other than cleaning/tiding up in the morning and making dinner at certain hours, she is free to arrange her day. The thing is she never supervised the kids, not even 1 day for the whole year. Initially I did not say anything because I felt that she needed time to connect with the kids. As the whole year has gone by, I realized that she really does not enjoy children and hence has never made an effort to supervise the kids. So now she basically works in the morning and cook dinner and then enjoy the rest of the day to herself. She used to help clean up the breakfast tables on Sat. and Sun. before she leaves, now she does not do that, because these are her days off. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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why should she clean up your breakfast dishes on her day off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 PM Flag
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NP: you are right, it's OPs responsibility to support this live-in as a family member whe also paying her but the live-in should do as little as possible like a teen [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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Why have you tolerated this? Fire her immediately. Please tell me you don't have much responsibiilty at work because you have no clue how to manage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:20 PM Flag
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I am really thinking about firing her. Just need to find time to hire a new person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Fire her, wtf?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Why haven't you reiterated your expectations? Why do you think domestic employment is any different from other employment in that you, the boss/manager, talk to the hires about your expectatations? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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This never works. I the BTDT poster below. Fire, replace with someone who is good at this type if work done. This woman is supposed to be there to make OPs life easier. OP isn't running corporate staff it's all human basic skills we are talking about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Op has let a year go by with managing her hire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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^^ Op made a bad hire to begin with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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I think you are right. Thanks for the advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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You should simply fire her and get someone new. I have BTDT and this is just going to be a never ending aggravation until you luck her out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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I think you are right! I have tried several times for her to supervise the kids such as cleaning up, sorting their toys, etc. She does them for 5 to 10 minutes and walks away to "clean the table" or something household related that does not need to be done at the particular time for 5 to 10 minutes, then goes back to resting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I was reading an article on Ellen Pao, the woman who sued Kleiner Perkins and lost. Her husband was in an openly gay live-in relationship for 10 years before she met him. Would you marry a gay/bi man? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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Nope. ex-dh was "bi" but he was really closeted gay and would cheat on me with rentboys from CL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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Because you love each other and want to make a life together? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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No way in hell. It wouldn't even be a consideration. Her story reads like a movie plot. She probably desperately wanted a child as did he. She only knew him a few months before she married him. As an aside, he was pretty happy to sue but it sure did bite him in the ass. He's probably the one who encouraged her to sue KP. He is a huge scammer. Looks like he's going down in flames. http://nypost.com/2015/02/18/case-builds-against-former-ny-hedgie-buddy-fletcher/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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I read about that too yesterday...her life sounds like a mess [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:22 PM Flag
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Of course not! I have never met a man who said he was bi who wasn't really gay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:22 PM Flag
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Nope. Wouldn't marry anyone I didn't love and was attracted to. Marrying a bi/gay man would be like marrying a woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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No, I wouldn't. But people in their 20s seem to approach relationships differently than my generation did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I love love my baby. But I do find it annoying that as a woman your life changes far more after having a child than it does for a man. Even when it is the husband that pushes more for children than the wife, his life doesn't necessarily change all that much. No body changes, no societal expectation to be the primary caregiver; women are such significant financial contributors now too, that there is less pressure for men to be a provider. Just venting because I feel like I have to ask if I can go take a shower while he watches DB; meanwhile it's just a given that I will take care of the baby when he agrees to go to some sports event with his friends. Does anyone else feel like this? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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Yes, very common when they are little. Don't ask if you can take a shower, just do it, and consider it an investment in your future relationship dynamic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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Does anyone not feel like this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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Doctor wife doesn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:20 PM Flag
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NP: Do you mean wife of a doctor or wife who is a doctor? Ironically, I am both and feel similarly to OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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There is a dh whose dw is a ped who vents about her on UB. She acts exactly like a man [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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Yes, of course! I think it's more than a societal expectation, it's biology, we are just hard wired to do it. Seriously the only way I can describe the newborn phase is that I was like a robot, a section of my brain just switched 'on' when db was born. Dh doesn't have that but now at 2.5yo they have all sorts of fun together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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Yeah, but the man gets most of the benefit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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This is why I don't and won't have kids. It's takes two to make them but takes just me from then on. I'm not geared to accept the unfairness without resentment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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+1. I remember the day I realized this, and it was liberating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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Agree. That is the shitty thing now. We are now expected to make a lot of money and to take care of the kid. Wake up at night, put kid to bed. It's really fucked up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:23 PM Flag
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and this is why i chose not to take on the "significant financial contributor" role... just too much to add to the mix. dh knows full well that this is his responsibility and he has fully stepped up to it (and then some). i know it's antiquated, and might come back to bite me in the ass, but at 37, 3 kids and still fun, relaxed and pretty hot, i'll take my odds.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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It's only that way if you allow it. Stop asking, and just live your life. Expect him to do more, and he will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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Neither one of us asks to take a shower. Both of us ask if we can go out or do something more significant. I SAH. He works. Definitely more home things fall on me, but more outside work falls on him, so it's fair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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Feminism made us equal earners but it can't change biology [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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Biology makes men selfish bastards? I don't buy it. I think parents can do a lot to change this behavior by setting the bar higher for boys in terms of how they treat others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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I totally understand what you are talking about. I'm SAHM now, and when I first started there was a lot of resentment. I didn't understand why he wouldn't help out, or made things more difficult for me (picking up his laundry off the floor when he could have just put it in the hamper himself). After a long talk I understand that the home is my "job" now. I think after a change of attitude/perspective my resentment ebbed away and DH saw it and he genuinely started helping out more (surprised me by doing dishes, unloading dish washer and cleaned the kitchen while I napped with db) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Leaving in about 15 minutes to go get laser hair removal. Doing my arms, legs, brazilian bikini, armpits, face and upper lip, hands and feet! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:07 PM Flag
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Ouch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:07 PM Flag
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Yeah... it's not so bad, but tonight I will be inflamed and tender. It's my second session, they said I will need about 5-8 sessions to really have lasting effects. I noticed the hair got a LOT thinner after the first session. I am polish with fair skin and have really thick dark hair, I've hated it my entire life. This was my 34th birthday present to myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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Np: Good for you! (I'm saying that with absolutely no sarcasm, total sincerity.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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people still do brazilians? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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All I know is I want the hair gone and I hate shaving! My hair is soooo thick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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Please don't get rid of all your pubic hair. You will be sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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Lasered mom here, best thing ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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How does this cost? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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$450 ish per session, it's reasonable, I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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That's awesome! I did it about 2 years ago and am sooooo happy with the results :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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Did you get hair growing back later? or did it stay off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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Yes, a full year later I got a patch of 4 pubes! Lol. Now every once in a while I'll find a fine wispy hair somewhere, will continue to get annual touch up treatments [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Why arms hands and feet? And face? How hirsute are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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What is Brazilian bikini! Please don't go bald! It's out of fashion and you can't get the hair back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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It's not about "fashion" please stop caring how other people keep (or don't keep) their pubes! Np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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+1 No one else's business how you maintain down there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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I'm want to do this sooo bad! Where did you find a place for so cheap? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:27 PM Flag
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that's extreme. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:47 PM Flag
[ - ] How is Sutton Place for a family with young kids? It's within walking distance to DH's office but I'm hesitant because of the lack of parks in the area. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:03 PM Flag
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It is super safe and nice. You can walk to the park on east 52 nd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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Sutton is boring but nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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what about 10 blocks north. there is a park at 76th and york [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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Also looking in that area. Wish the 2nd ave train will open sooner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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