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[ - ] I love when people say they live in west harlem, as if it is truly any better. Gross. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:14 PM Flag
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Trully any better than what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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West Harlem is 200% better than East Harlem. I assume you have never been to West or East Harlem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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Gross. I would never go to Harlem unless I needed to volunteer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:23 PM Flag
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Gross. I would never go to Harlem unless I needed to volunteer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Help an immigrant with some etiquette rules: is I have received an official birth announcement card, is this essentially a request for a gift? not judging just curious 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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It's funny, I sent birth announcements out and definetly didn't mean it as a request for a gift, but then a flood of gifts came in, so I sort of felt like that is how it got perceived. Just wanted to share news of new baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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Who is it from? I usually only give baby gifts to very close friends/family or poor acquaintances. If the poor person is really poor, I give them useful things. If they are MC, I give them a little luxury item, like a fancy bon point dress or something cashmere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:22 PM Flag
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No need to send a gift unless you want to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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No. It is nice to send a card, or if you are close (and didn't buy a shower gift beforehand), you can certainly send a gift, but it is by no means expected. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Does duane read sell tape for dresses or do I need to go to C21? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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I've seen it there about a year ago. Doesn't hurt to check there first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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What do you use tape for on a dress? Sorry to hijack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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to stick it to my boobs so it doesn't fall down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] My DD wants pink and purple walls in her very small bedroom. Is it better to do one or two walls one color and the rest the other color or since its a small space, would it be better to paint the bottom half purple then have a white stripe and paint the top half pink? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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I'd do whatever she wants. You can always change it a few years up the road. I also like the idea of vertical stripes but probably tricky to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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She's only 4 so has just said she really wants BOTH pink & purple - doesn't care where they are ;-) I tried guiding towards fairly light colors because the room is so small but they aren't too light... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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Shade of color is very important. Is she thinking Barbie pink and Barney purple? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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^^ Can you do an all over pale pink and use decals/stencils in brighter pinks and purples as accents? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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This is a good idea - removable decals. Have you presented those as an option? She might actually prefer those or something else removable like drapes and rugs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:12 PM Flag
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She's actually already had those when we were living in an apartment and had to keep the walls white. I already agreed to the pink and purple paint... Just am not sure where to put them... I think a friend is going to make her fairy decals to put up after painting but she can use the cricut and do almost any color... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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np. Many vendors on etsy will make custom work if she's not totally happy with what she sees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:22 PM Flag
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Can you do stencil pattern on one wall and have the rest the same color? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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^^look up on houzz or pinterest, there must be some good ideas [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Google wall murals girl for ideas. Not all are elaborate murals. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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How about pink wall w white tree decal with purple flowers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I am off for the summer and haven't been in a loooong time. Young kids (2 under 5) Where should we go and suggestions on where to rent a summer place? Thanks! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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How long will you rent for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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1 week - 2 weeks. Maybe 1 month depending on where. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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If you will be alone with young children, somewhere near the grandparents and cousins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:05 PM Flag
[ - ] my friend's school plans are totally up in the air for 1st grade. are there any private schools that would still have space for this fall? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.18.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Spaces open up all the time as people move or get transferred. Be in touch with the schools and wait it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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yes call up every place you are interested in and let them know the situation. They want to fill those seats, and of course there is some attrition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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Blue school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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Englewood or rye [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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She might look at World Class Learning Academy or the Ideal School. http://wclacademy.org/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] are you supposed to hold your pee for awhile before you do an OPK? Or can you just do it whenever, even with fairly dilute urine? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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it's supposed to be first morning urine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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I'm using first response with the lines [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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yes hold for a while for best results. First morning urine not good, wait until later in the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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OPK's are best done in the afternoon. You can also test late morning and evening to be sure. Some people will miss it if they don't test twice a day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Third kid on the way. Can't really afford it and can't really afford it stress-wise either bu we are doing it. What are we in for? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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Same as with the first two - just more hand me downs available to this one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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Are you getting your tubes tied after this one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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3 more years of sleep deprivation and then life will get better and better after that. You won't be able to imagine your family without this little one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Third kid on the way. Can't really afford it and can't really afford it stress-wise either bu we are doing it. What are we in for? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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You should start thinking about getting your tubes tied, specially if you can't afford more than 3 kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Have your ever cursed at your young kids when they have frustrated you to the point of no return? Be honest. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:36 PM Flag
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Of course. Then later I apologize. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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Yes and I've also let them put soap in my mouth afterwords. I have a dirty mouth by habit but have only really lost it and cussed "at them" ( ie you guys are such assholes!) a couple times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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Yes, older kids,too. not ideal but it happens. Helps me understand when they get frustrated, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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Yes I have on several occasions. I have remorsefully posted about it here and was FLAMED. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Have your ever cursed at your young kids when they have frustrated you to the point of no return? Be honest. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:36 PM Flag
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No, I break down and cry. That stops them dead [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Be careful on that one. My mom used to do this and it was deeply upsetting. The children feel responsible for your unhappiness and it forces them into the care taking role. It is deeply unsettling to watch a parent cry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:05 PM Flag
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Better than cursing at them. And its not a play, that is when I am past my breaking point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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This. OR is creating a weird dynamic by crying in front of the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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Not the young one. I cursed at the 12 year old once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:01 PM Flag
[ - ] In a floor length gown should the dress actually touch the floor? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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Even though it will get dirty then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:49 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you on weekends with your kids when you don't have anything planned? Do you feel pressure to do "fun" things with them or just happy to hang at home? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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Hang out at home, go to the park, go to a street fair, go out for lunch somewhere fun [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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I feel pressure to get them outside. Otherwise, I think the downtime is great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:08 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a single DF who is 40 and has decided to have a baby on her own. She is moving to her hometown so her parents can help. What can I say to be supportive? What can I do? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:31 PM Flag
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Offer to babysit or accompany her on a day outing and help occasionally. She will appreciate another pair of hands! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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Be really happy for her and offer to help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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Be happy for her. Is she pregnant now or no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:09 PM Flag
[ - ] When my husband gets mad (many times over little things) he says very hateful things to me, like this is "typical" and "dealing" with me is horrible. For example, he wanted to plan outing with another couple& their kids, when I told him I had already RSVPd to 4 yo bday party that evening he had in mind, he gets furious with me, even though I told him about it weeks ago when first mentioned. I have dealt with this for almost ten years and I am just worn out. I don't want to be alone but I am sick of being attacked verbally. 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:00 PM Flag
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Tell him not to talk to you like that and walk away.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:02 PM Flag
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I will never understand what makes being abused superior to being "alone." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:09 PM Flag
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People are wimps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:04 PM Flag
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Telling dw her behavior is typical is not abuse. Maybe her behavior is typical. You peppe need to see what real abuse looks like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:14 PM Flag
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How is it horrible to mention that you have already made plans for your child on that day? When no mention had been made if that day before RSVP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:11 PM Flag
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Even if it's not horrible. How is the fact that he calls it horrible abuse? That is not abuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:26 PM Flag
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NP: what the OP described 100% sounds like verbal/emotional abuse. Flying off the handle about trivial things, being insulting and controlling, etc. The ORs below are naive saying this is something that can be fixed with communication and an Outlook calendar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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OR: Where did you get controlling from that statement? I have witnessed real abuse. This isn't it in my opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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^^^Being a jerk isn't synonymous with being abusive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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Not allowing your spouse to make decisions without flipping out = controlling. Your definition of "real abuse" seems very narrow. A home where one adult constantly acts like this is damaging to the other parent and the DC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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No, your definition of how people should act is really narrow. Some people get angry about stupid things and don't handle their anger well. Send OP to a center for abused women they would laugh at her. Controlling is telling OP that she can't go the party becuase he's already made plans. Maybe I'm hardened because my boss says worse things on a monthly basis. Shockingly HR has not found her behaviour to be abusive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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Grown ups do not act like that. If you flip out at people then expect consequences. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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Unfortunately a lot of grown ups act like that and there are absolutely no consequences (especially if they have money and power). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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Where did he not allow her to make a decision? He got angry at her decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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OP- said to me in screaming angry voice and hung up on me. That's why I called it verbal abuse. Little things like this tip off horrible angry speeds, says things more hateful than this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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You pretend to know how she said it. I imagine she is very dismissive in the way she talks to dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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You are projecting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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I feel for you and not to be snarky but are you really completely blameless? Maybe he feels dismissed - you could have been open to his idea and listened to him. A four year olds birthday can be cancelled - dh is more important than the people at the party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:09 PM Flag
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Are you kidding? He is being a baby. Pick a different night and don't attack your wife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:05 PM Flag
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Maybe she is always shutting him down and he feels that he isn't being treated without respect and concern. I hate it when I have an idea and I'm immediately shut down without even bring listened to even in hindsight the idea is stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:13 PM Flag
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So if you already made a commitment you shouldn't mention it ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:09 PM Flag
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You can mention it but say something like yeah that sounds like a good idea - we have that party which should we go to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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Why should the 4 year old lose out? The dad should be a grown up and pick a different night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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He wanted to make plans on a night that they already had plans, how is that shutting him down. All he had to do was pick a different night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:10 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:13 PM Flag
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I had already RSVPd and this is friends child, plus child in same class with our child.. I feel you should honor commitment. Not like we couldn't go out with other couple another day. Turns out they have another commitment that day, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:07 PM Flag
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Surely you have a joint calendar to avoid situations like this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:18 PM Flag
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No I tell him and he never puts it on his calendar [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:13 PM Flag
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Hang one on the fridge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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Why do you allow him to talk to you this way ? I can't understand this. I feel bad for you but If you have allowed him to talk to you like $hit after 10 years it becomes you fault, you should had walked away a long time ago or stopped this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:18 PM Flag
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Sounds like a jerk, but I will say that "told him about it weeks ago" is pretty useless. You have to have your calendars online and properly synched up. No one can keep track of a 4 y.o. birthday party in his head and no one should reasonably be expected to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:20 PM Flag
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Is that all he says to you? That doesn't sound like abuse to me. Get a backbone and stand up to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:26 PM Flag
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This can be solved. You can both work on your communication. He can learn to speak more productively and kindly. You can have a central calendar and write down events. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:30 PM Flag
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I think he sounds weird. This is not something he should be so upset over. Dh and I sort of keep a calendar, but I wouldn't usually put a kids bday party on it, bc it would normally be me taking dc to the party. It's not like you are asking him to skip a family wedding. He tells the other family you are busy that night and pick another day. if he is blowing up over this there are definitely problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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Put your calendar on the fridge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.18.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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