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[ - ] Right, I'm the first in my group of friends to have a baby so looking for some insight. How do you manage to both WOH if school ends at 3pm? I work until atleast 7pm most days. How does this work? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:40 PM Flag
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get a sitter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:41 PM Flag
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You have to have a nanny or a daycare situation that enables your work hours. It's no picnic. Welcome to childcare jenga. We are all working on it everyday. Your kid will be awesome...well worth the logistical nightmare that ensues. Just look at those tiny feet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Dd got 4s and 3s on report cars and 4s on state exam. Her attendance wasn't great and I couldn't always get a note from doctor. What should our strategy be for middle school admissions? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:36 PM Flag
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My dd in same boat. How many absences? I remember hearing that less than 9 is fine. Really nothing you can strategize about, they don't really give you a chance to explain. Just make sure you apply to a few different options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:45 PM Flag
[ - ] If someone offered you $100 million for your husband and kids and whole life, would you take it? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:36 PM Flag
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You can take DH for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:38 PM Flag
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+1. I feel like everyone would ditch the DH. No one will ditch the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:43 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:38 PM Flag
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what a dumb question. no - nothing for my kids. never ever ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:39 PM Flag
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What would be done with them? Would they never have existed? Would they be sold into slavery? Would they go off and live on their own without me? Would they be murdered? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:40 PM Flag
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so you mean someone would clone me and insert themselves into the clone and take over my life, but i would get 100 million $. where would i go live, would this be like the witness protection program and i get set up with a new identity etc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:46 PM Flag
[ - ] When one says de-clutter, what do you mean? My house is very neat, so i don't understand? are you just a big fat slob? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:32 PM Flag
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little skinny slob. Is that ok? Does weight correlate with clutter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:34 PM Flag
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+1. 5'7, 115 lbs, total slob. Turns out you can actually pay people to keep your house clean though, so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:37 PM Flag
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Wow - you are a skinny minnie. :) i'm 5'5 135. and trying to just get rid of clothes my kids don't fit into anymore, things like that. but i wouldn't say i'm fat. definitely not skinny though. just average. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:37 PM Flag
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I'm sure you look great! Smart to get rid of things you don't use anymore. I may be a total slob, but I do try to get rid of things that I don't need or use anymore and make smarter purchasing decisions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:40 PM Flag
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OR: since we decided to stay in the city, i'm really trying to get rid of things, i've also asked family members, all who live in these huge houses in the suburbs, to stop buying my kids stuffed animals and tons of gifts at christmas. grandparents are constantly sending us back from holidays with tons of stuff they don't need. drives me crazzzzy! how many sweatshirts and pairs of pj's does one 6 year old need? really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:43 PM Flag
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aw thanks - gotta work on my stomach area - but i'm getting there. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:44 PM Flag
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For me, i posted below - i keep a neat home, but by de-clutter, i mean, go through the kids clothes at the end of the season, give away or donate what doesn't fit. Reorganize drawers, closets, etc. It's not like there are heaps of trash in my home. Get rid of summer pool toys that are broken, dirty, goggles, etc. Does that make sense? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:36 PM Flag
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Why are you so ready for a fight? By declutter, people mean...going through drawers and cabinets that you're not normally in and making sure that nothing is being kept that is purgeable. If you think you're so perfect, then I'm sure we'd agree that you must be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:39 PM Flag
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I think there is an angry clutter person on here...her tone is just nasty in the other thread as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:40 PM Flag
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She did get one post into MP today, but now she's sad that no one is taking her bait for the "baseline for parenting" or "SAHM whose DH won't help out around the house". Sad day to be a loser 26 yo wannabe SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Really trying to de-clutter. Mom died 2 years ago and we were very close. i must admit, i've held on to a lot of things she gave me (and my kids) that i don't need, just because they are from her, remind me of her, etc. Help! For those of you who don't hold onto things for sentimental reasons, how do you just let go and do it - i'm really sick and tired of too much stuff. Thank you! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:15 PM Flag
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Can you put it in storage for a year and then go thru it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:16 PM Flag
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OP: we have a storage unit already when my Dad sold the house - it's got my wedding gown, some furniture I would like to keep (antiques, not expensive at all but just furniture i love that has been in our family forever), etc. I don't really want to get a second one, it just seems like a waste of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:19 PM Flag
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If you are not willing to use the furniture everyday, get rid of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:22 PM Flag
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OP: i know in my heart you are so right. By the time i pay the storage unit fees, i could get one really beautiful new piece of furniture. sigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:23 PM Flag
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Do not saddle your kids with this same furniture...they do NOT want it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:24 PM Flag
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OP: ha, ha. no, i know. maybe the piano, but that's it. and we have that here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:25 PM Flag
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Then commit to getting rid of the rest of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:27 PM Flag
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Take a picture of those that might be important to you and if there is no real reason to keep it, get rid of it. That said, give yourself permission to keep 3 things just because. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:18 PM Flag
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OP: i actually may try this - thanks. I watched an episode of Hoarders (no my apartment is nothing like that), but the episode was a woman who lost her mom and for years kept everything and alas, she became surrounded by the clutter. The therapist encouraged her to keep just a few items to honor her mother. I know i don't need the clothes, every toy or stuffed animal she gave my kids - it just makes me so sad she is really gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:22 PM Flag
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It's okay to be sad and your Mom would not want you keeping the clothes or stuffed animals. She'd rather you keep what was only truly important/memorable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:26 PM Flag
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OP: you are so right - it would bother her tremendously that the clutter is getting to me. She knew that I was a bit of a neat freak and didn't like a bunch of stuff around, particularly because I was raising my kids in an apartment. thanks for the gentle reminder. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:27 PM Flag
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I inherited so much stuff from my mother that it was clear to me that even she didn't look at a lot of the stuff twice after buying it. I'm giving myself a few years but if there is ever a question, I take a picture and toss, or I donate and tell myself it deserves to be with someone who appreciates it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:29 PM Flag
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So much of why we keep things is because of the memory that returns to us when we find it or open it up again. This is why I try to take a picture of things I love, instead of the thing, or a small swatch of a favorite blanket, etc. Something to trigger the memory. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:44 PM Flag
[ - ] What kind of helicopter parenting planet do we live on where letting your kids ride the school bus, letting them do an after school activity, letting them have play dates, and letting them buy school lunch now constitutes parental neglect? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:14 PM Flag
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It's really just some SAHM with kids in school trying to justify why she can't/won't work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:16 PM Flag
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It was the wannabe SAHM troll, actually [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:27 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:38 PM Flag
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I didn't know until this weekend that those DC parents were arrested because their two kids walked home alone from a local park and were 10 and 12? that is insane! What is the big deal? Did i miss something? I really try to keep up with the news but had a death in the family when that story hit and just didn't catch the whole thing. seems ridiculous. Friends were discussing at a cocktail party this weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:16 PM Flag
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I think they were like 6 and 10, but yeah, I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:18 PM Flag
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okay phew, i thought the world had really gone and lost it - ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:20 PM Flag
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and 6 does seem a little young, but still, it's the parents choice no? arresting them seems ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:21 PM Flag
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I still think it's stupid. A responsible 10 year old can walk home through suburbia with a responsible 6 year old sibling. It's not like they were walking through Baghdad, or navigating public transport. They were walking through their suburban neighborhood. We used to do that all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:21 PM Flag
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OR: couldn't agree more. that's what we were all discussing at the party. we all did it (70's and 80's kids) and we turned out fine. i think most parents agree it was a little over the top. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:25 PM Flag
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10 and 6 is borderline, 12 would be insane as at 12 in NYC a kid is expected to make their own way to/from school. And I think our public elementary lets 4th graders walk home alone so that is 10. Seems perfectly reasonable to me, I guess I may not want to send a 6 yo along but arresting them is ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:32 PM Flag
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OR: agreed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:39 PM Flag
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It was a troll, but you already know that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:17 PM Flag
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I guess you're right. Sorry, I haven't been on in a while... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:17 PM Flag
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Some mommy wants to justify the fact that she dropped out of the workforce and is bored to death, so she sits around writing down how many different ways she is better than moms with a life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:22 PM Flag
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I don't know, they all seem like good things to me. Wish we had a bus option! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:30 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't understand why Dads who work FT, do not regularly cook, clean, pick-up/drop-off, help with Homework, plan or organize any activities for DCs (and often miss most of them) are considered great parents but Moms who outsource some or all of these items are somehow horrible parents, particularly given that the outsourcing is really a two parent decision. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:13 PM Flag
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That angle isn't as much for loser "wannabe SAHM" and "Bitter DH of a SAHM" to argue about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:18 PM Flag
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Because there are not very many stay at home Dads trying to validate their decisions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:20 PM Flag
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Nobody really thinks this. Just some UB crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:27 PM Flag
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The dad working FT should have a SAHW that does these things. Duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:28 PM Flag
[ - ] DOCUMENTARY TV SERIES CASTING FAMILIES GOING THROUGH NYC PRIVATE PRE-SCHOOL APPLICATIONS The toughest admission rates in the country? Not Harvard, but New York City private schools. The private pre-school application process is of the most stressful times in a parent’s life. And for those who are going through it, we empathize. Are you a parent looking to get your kid(s) into a prestigious private pre-school or kindergarten. We want to hear from you! If we choose your family to participate in our documentary television series, we’ll pair you up with the top admissions coach in the city! Please email us ASAP at gettingintoschool@gmail.com. Tell us a little about you and your family, make sure to include your name, number and the best time to reach you, along with a family photo. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 08.31.15, 09:06 PM Flag
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If anyone falls for this, I'd be impressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:07 PM Flag
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No private school in the city would allow a reality TV crew into their admissions office. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:14 PM Flag
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Actually Mandell did, so did some other preschool, I forget which one. It was on that Nursery University documentary (same thing that the troll OP is referring to probably) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:15 PM Flag
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It was Epiphany. Neither school looked its best, and let's not forget how a high school (Nightingale or Brearley?) told its girls that they could not speak to the press under any circumstances after the opening episodes of NYC Prep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:17 PM Flag
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Mandell was a special case. It's former HOS didn't believe there was such a thing as bad publicity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:21 PM Flag
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This has already been done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:16 PM Flag
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Schools will not look kindly on applying families who bring a camera crew with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:19 PM Flag
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No. The private preschool application process, while annoying, was not nearly the most stressful time in our life as parents. Not nearly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:24 PM Flag
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My kids are grown, but I would definitely watch this show :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:26 PM Flag
[ - ] call me "nokd", sexist, whatever, but I think there is a difficulty specific to full contact sports that makes them more meaningful. I also think that some boys need them as an outlet. Flame away 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:05 PM Flag
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"Some boys need them". Douchey boys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:06 PM Flag
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No. Some have more aggressive energy and need an outlet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:07 PM Flag
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NP: LOL. Yes, this must be why athletes are so calm and unaggressive in general - they're getting all that aggressive energy out. It seems to me that encouraging those traits increases them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:35 PM Flag
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Some boys actually do thrive on physical contact sports. Other boys like sports of skill, and still others like sports where they just run, run, run. Men are extremely competitive and physical. Women can be extremely physical as well, obviously, but I don't know if so many of them actually enjoy knocking other women to the ground, and you can't avoid the fact that gay women figure prominently in women's sports. I'm big on being honest about human biology [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:08 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is a J 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I support Eylen Roof 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Self help book recommendations?? I feel so bored and destructive after 3 weeks of vacation. Need to self-improve somehow... 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:46 PM Flag
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Younger Next Year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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"How to get a job." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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I like David Burns' books Feeling Good and When Panic Attacks. For organization, try David Allen's Getting Things Done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:01 PM Flag
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Oh poor you. It's so hard to feel so bored after 3 weeks of vacation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:08 PM Flag
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The Sensuous Woman [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:09 PM Flag
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Um, how about a book called "It's OK to Relax", or "Help, My Entire Identity is Tied to My Job!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:10 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Stay at home moms, how do you allocate house hold work and chores? I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and am going crazy. Husband helps some times, but I do 90% of the work (not counting things that are taken care of by our full time house keeper). Husband earns $400K, and says that his job is in jeopardy if he helps out at home any more. When he is home husband is messy, often forgetting to put away his clothes and dishes. Taking care of the kids is a 24/7 job and I am burnt out. Am I justified in demanding that DH do more at home? When I do so, he says that he earns the money, and claims that it would be inefficient for him to spend time on chores when that same time could be invested for greater return at work. I call BS. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 08.31.15, 08:46 PM Flag
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If you have a full-time house keeping, why can't you manage the rest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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Seriously!! Is this fake?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:50 PM Flag
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OP: When do I get time for myself? He gets to leave work. Except for date night, occasional weekend mornings when he takes the kids, and rare exceptions, I'm on duty 24x7. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:53 PM Flag
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Hire a sitter for a couple hours a week. Does your gym have child care? Fresh Direct/Amazon prime. What else is there to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:10 PM Flag
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Get a part time job and a part time sitter. The 'time for yourself' will be working, but that's probably a good change from hanging out with two toddlers all day...although presumably that's the life you chose? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:01 PM Flag
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He's right. signed SAHM. It's like what Michelle Duggar says, anyone can put away a dish, but I can only get the money from that one special someone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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Ha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:35 PM Flag
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I call BS. Full time housekeeper? This is a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:51 PM Flag
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OP: I'm rich, your poor, don't be mad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:53 PM Flag
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OP: above post not me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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Or: fuck off, lady [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:55 PM Flag
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I'm not poor lady. I retired at 38. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:20 PM Flag
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Plus I can spell [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:20 PM Flag
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I call BS on this whole post. I do the lion's share of the housework, cooking, errands, bills, and I don't even have a weekly cleaning lady. My DH would probably pitch in more at home if I asked him to, but I'd rather give him freer weekends and more time to spend with the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:51 PM Flag
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This sounds like a troll post. A sahm with a housekeeper who wants to dump another cleaning shift on DH? Lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:52 PM Flag
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OP: Its not cleaning that is killing me. Its taking care of two kids who aren't in school yet. Older one starts preschool soon (half day). Hopefully that will help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:01 PM Flag
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They nap and sleep..right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:07 PM Flag
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I agree with your husband, particularly since you stated that you have a full-time housekeeper. This is not meant to be snarky - do you have trouble with time management? If you do, that may make things seem a bit overwhelming. I don't think picking up some clothes and dishes on a daily basis is too much to do while you're home. How much time could that take? I do it and it's maybe 5 minutes, tops, and that includes rinsing/pre cleaning the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher or hand washing, if needed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:52 PM Flag
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Fi le for alimony [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:53 PM Flag
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This post was written by a frazzled, WOHM who secretly despises all those SAHM beyotches because they get to do what she secretly wishes she could...escort Junior to the park, the ice cream truck and the doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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Np: I'm a WOHM, my DH and I each make well over $400k a year, and I admit this sounds terribly fake. Or OP's DH is tragically incompetent if "helping out more at home" is going to put his "job in jeopardy". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:33 PM Flag
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If you have FT housekeeper, then not sure how much work you have. IMO, DH is not allowed to expect you to pick up after him jsut bc he works. He should put his own dishes in the DW, laundry in the hamper, hang his clothes, put away his shoes, hang up towels after showering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:57 PM Flag
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I am a wahm with 3 kids and a once a week house cleaner as well as a 3-morning a week nanny who cleans. I do 95% of the housework, cooking and everything else. Dh doesn't do much but he does sometimes do dishes in the evening. He never puts his clothes away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:02 PM Flag
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OP: How do you manage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:04 PM Flag
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Because I do? I'm not the most organized person but I have a pledge that if a task will take 2 minutes or less I do it then and there. That takes care of a lot of the straightening up type things. I enjoy cooking and even washing dishes in the evening can be somewhat relaxing. I listen to the radio or music a lot while I do things. My kids are 1, 3 & 5 and I'm teaching the older ones to always clean up one thing before moving on to something else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:07 PM Flag
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I am a single Mom with a house cleaner every other week. You need to reassess how rough you have it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:06 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you deal with responding to calls from people who you know only call you when they want something? The majority of people who call me at work either want me to do something for them or want me to figure out a problem for them. And these are not bosses or colleagues working on the same project - they're sort of loose business partners. In short, I don't HAVE to help any of them. I hate returning calls because I know it's going to turn into a 20 minute lecture followed by - so, what should I do? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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1) avoid. 2) if you must talk to them, give them an online resource (website, app, etc.) that can help them. say you don't have bandwidth to give them individual attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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but if you look at it in a positive light, it's called mentoring. These people look up to you and value your opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 09:40 PM Flag
[ - ] How much money do you think you will need during retirement on a monthly basis? Can you itemize roughly what you would spend it on? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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Look at what you are spending now? What will go away? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:51 PM Flag
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I think a lot - half of the grocery money, half of the clothes/entertainment, half of vacation budget ... Would probably move to a much smaller place (we are maintaining a house with a garden now). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:55 PM Flag
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This really depends. Once I retire, we will no longer live FT in NYC. We might downsize apartments depending on what we have in 20 years. So much $ goes to the kids right now - activities, tuition, childcare, food, etc. But we don;'t travel adn would do that in retirement My guess is that in today's $$$, I'll want $20-$25K/month all in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 08:55 PM Flag
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