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[ - ] I'm working toward six months in expenses for the last two years. So far I've gotten about two months in expenses saved. I saw in that MP where someone said to just reduce expenses by $200 a month. It would take 25 years to save six months expenses $200 a month if your expenses are ~$10k a month. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:15 AM Flag
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so you are just a single person? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:18 AM Flag
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why do people post here and then not chat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:24 AM Flag
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Is your budget so tight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:34 AM Flag
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How old are you? How many DCs and their age? HHI? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:18 AM Flag
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your expenses are too high. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:25 AM Flag
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You are looking for excuses. Just make the commitment to save. Every little bit helps. Cut out non-essentials. I knew a woman of 24 who lived on mac and cheese and never went out for two whole years to build equity in her home, was able to sell at a huge profit. Use discipline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 07:12 AM Flag
[ - ] 18 USC § 1622 subornation of perjury 18 USC § 1512 witness tampering 18 USC§ 1505 Obstruction of proceedings before departments, agencies, and committees And for good measure toss 18 U.S.C. §371 conspiracy 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:13 AM Flag
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"If a President...suborns perjury, or induces a witness to change testimony, or commits any act deliberately impairing the integrity of available evidence, then he, like anyone else, commits the crime of obstruction." — William Barr [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:14 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a Tiffany brooch that I’d like to sell. Where should I go? (Not antique, 1980) 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:08 AM Flag
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depends if it has great stones or an really good setting. Not a great market for such things. There are some antique dealers on Diamond row (47th). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you have a green thumb? What do you grow and where? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:37 AM Flag
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Yes. Manhattan, on my balcony and in my windows. Lots of herbs: basil, Thai basil, a lot of chives, oregano, thyme, dill. Shallots, ivy, roses, an olive tree, chamomile, and I have a few succulents and cacti. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:10 AM Flag
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goregous CA natives on a hillside in LA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 07:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Moms with babies, do you use glass bottles or plastic? What brand of bottles? What made you choose one over the other? Thx 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:33 AM Flag
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My baby is done with bottles but I used glass, I don't like plastic. I had a couple brands--Born Free and one other, I forget. There are several good glass brands. Some come with silicone sleeves, I haven't used, didn't had a problem. (I didn't leave baby alone holding the bottle so didn't worry about it breaking.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:02 AM Flag
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I use these bottles. I've had three NICU babies and these are the kind of bottles they used in the NICUs, so I think I chose it out of habit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:05 AM Flag
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tried glass at first and broke them all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:26 AM Flag
[ - ] SLEEP TIGHT INDIVIDUAL ONE 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:27 AM Flag
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Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:36 AM Flag
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1++++++++++++ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:41 AM Flag
[ - ] I need to be flamed. 5 weeks ago I had the sudden urge to Google my high school boyfriend ( broke up when I was 20) I saw a video of him and since then I can't get him out of my head. I am in a good marriage and haven't talked to this guy in 13 years! I daydream all day... And feel so heartbroken. It's so silly, since I never used to think about him. Fwiw it was a super traumatic breakup 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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Why flame you? That's normal. Just keep in mind he comes with a whole new set of issues and flaws, just like any other man. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:47 AM Flag
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Op: it's like I'm heartbroken or think we will be together. We are both married. It's like a teenage crush. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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It's a fantasy. Keep yourself busy, it will pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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But it’s not about him. It’s about a time in your life that as a lot less stressful than being an adult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:10 AM Flag
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Normal, part of midlife, to look back and reflect. Totally normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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If OP is in midlife, I'm an old geezer standing over my grave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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haha, I'm sorry! I think of midlife as 35-55! Guess she's not even there yet but you know what I mean! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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No problem. Just have my snark on! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:53 AM Flag
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Op here, I am 35 : ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:53 AM Flag
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Op: I'm glad to hear this. I was worried/ feeling guilty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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Be careful on facebook, I accidentally 'liked' my ex's new wife's post when I was snooping lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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Lol!! Me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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omg that's my nightmare fear!! Did you unlike it? What did you do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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I replied above. I clicked to follow her page on FB. I noticed it days later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:02 AM Flag
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This is my nightmare. I'm so paranoid I won't look at their photos. I also think it's feeding my curiosity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:54 AM Flag
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Just stop temptation and pay more attention to your family. That is the reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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This is EXACTLY why Facebook and most social media is terribly unhealthy. Studies have shown FB increases depression. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:20 AM Flag
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+111111111 billiion [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:35 AM Flag
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i think there is something about that first love at that age that gets cemented in your brain/heart for lack of a better word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Are you supppsed to like your therapist? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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You’re supposed to love them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:38 AM Flag
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I'd like to respect my therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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What do you mean "like?" It's a. Haines relationship. If it isn't working, you leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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Not Haines! It's a business relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Yes!! I really disliked my first one, I didn't feel like we clicked and I noticed I looked for ways to cancel my appointments. My new one is so great! Ilook forward to seeing her, I practice the skills she teaches me, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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You should certainly have a rapport and feel trust and safety with him/her. Research consistently shows that the most significant factor in determining therapeutic outcome is not the type of treatment or education level of a therapist, but the context of the therapeutic relationship. Signed, a therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:51 AM Flag
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Yes. If you don't feel connected, switch, don't waste your time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:19 AM Flag
[ - ] I hate my husband. He is mean, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. He sucks. We’ve been married for 10 years. I don’t know how to get divorced with 3 kids. Do I just make a life within this life and suck it up? Anyone else doing this? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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Miserable way to live, you deserve more. Can you give examples? Is it fixable? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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You can't ever never fix an emotionally abusive person. EVER. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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I was emotionally abusive. Therapy has helped immensely. Np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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You're the exception not the norm. Most abusive ppl can't even grasp taking accountability for their abuse. EVER. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:47 AM Flag
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np: are you a woman? This matters a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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Yes. My mother has BPD and was very abusive. I was repeating the cycle with my dh and dc. It was not easy to see there's a problem though. I know I am not the norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:54 AM Flag
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Good for you for breaking the cycle. It's so hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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yes, sadly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:24 AM Flag
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I was you. We are divorced and while the logistics and lifestyle adjustments have not been a walk in the park, my sanity was restored and I feel liberated. I also feel my children are safer not being exposed to him 24/7 and only intermittently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:24 AM Flag
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You did have three DCs with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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STOP. DONT VICTIM BLAME. Many of these men change once children arrive. The emotional abuse cycle is insidious. There are highs and lows. Stop it. Now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:26 AM Flag
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Shut TF Up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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Up to you how much you want to deal with. Give him the kids. Make your own life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Yes, give the mean, abusive man the kids. Great plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Well there are 2 sides to each story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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This is what every abusive person says. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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So leave. Get up, take your kids and leave. I know several women who are currently living in the shelter system in NYC to escape abusive men/dh's/fathers. You have to do it. Find a support network then and go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:53 AM Flag
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Do you understand how intimate partner abuse works? There are psychological factors that make what you describe a very difficult challenge for many abused people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:58 AM Flag
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Clearly, you need to be abused and then you won't write stupid shit like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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Well I wouldn't have 3 kids with them. I know that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:53 AM Flag
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Like I said, we need to beat the shit out of you and tell you you're worthless whore and then in an hour tell you how much we love you. Over and over and over and over again. You'll wind up with 5 kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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^^ And, honey, before you start assuming some more. It happens everywhere. I am a survivor. Attractive, two degrees, high level, ambitious, driven woman. You'd never know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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I responded on this thread as "I was you" and that is my profile as well. Strong, independent "TT" - no one knew her was a monster, until they did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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Do what I did: start planning. (1) start networking and getting back out there -- p/t, pro-bono, whatever (2) start becoming very, very intimate with your finances; have access to everything and understand budgeting needs (3) keep things copacetic (4) start eating better, getting fit and sleeping well. You're essentially training. It will take time, years maybe but you do not suck it up. You get ready. Things may even get better in marriage, if that's the case, great but if not, you're armed to leave. I eventually did after 7 years. There were good times but mostly bad and this is the right thing to do for my family. Ex DH can go rot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:38 AM Flag
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posted above, btdt. This is great advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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I'm glad to hear you've got peace. I was heartbroken. I loved my ex DH and was willing to break my back to make it work but not at the price of my sanity and my DCs. We're all MUCH better for it. I feel free! It's not easy but it's worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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I can relate so much. I tried to make it work, through addiction and treatment and affairs etc. But it was too much and I felt I was literally dying a slow death and wouldn't be able to parent if I stayed. Ultimately he decided to leave, so I didn't have the make the decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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CONGRATS! Life is precious. We get one shot. I was taught to stick it out but you know what? I want to die knowing I lived my best life with a great partner. Not someone who wanted to take his shit on me. I don't want that for my DCs and the longer I stayed the longer I was teaching it. I thank my DCs for giving me strength. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:53 AM Flag
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Thank you!! I agree, wholeheartedly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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plan slowly and methodically, be strategic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Be honest. Do you actually have 6 months’ worth of expenses saved in your emergency fund? Discuss. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:16 AM Flag
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I don't have a separate emergency fund, per se, but I have sufficient assets to be fine if my income was threatened for a couple years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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Ugh. DH and I thought we did until he actually was out of work while I was pregnant and we found out that cobra was over $2k a month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:20 AM Flag
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or: that stinks. Hope you recovered from it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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We did. He started his new job a week before our baby's arrival. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:26 AM Flag
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I'm glad for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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I have maybe 150 years worth in mine--and I still pick up pennies from the sidewalk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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If you have 150 years you should set up a foundation and help others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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Not yet. My parents were terrible with money, I never knew how to budget but I got a hang of it and I am on my way to 6 months emergency fund and downpayment for a house with low mortgage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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How? My parents were also terrible with money and I don’t know where to start. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Np: he’s not perfect but you can start by going to Dave Ramsey’s website. It’s a good place to start. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:29 AM Flag
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OR: David Ramsey's book planted the seed in my head. I dont follow every single thing he says,but the overall idea is great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Don’t blame your parents. Mine are still terrible at saving and isn’t have a penny, but I’m careful With money, and have saved my whole life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:03 AM Flag
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Same. Luckily I married someone whose parents are millionaire-next-door types. Didn’t have the highest-paying jobs, necessarily, but they saved diligently, invested steadily and were extremely careful with money. Sometimes I think DH is too frugal for our income but I appreciate that someone is watching the bottom line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:07 AM Flag
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We have over 150K in our checking account alone. We have been meaning to invest, but yeah, I suppose we do have 6 months worth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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You have 150K in a checking account? This is not really a good thing. Do you have money elsewhere too? Any invested? At least put it in a savings account where you can accumulate 2% interest right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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yes. We love to travel and spend money on that but we have our kids in public, although we could afford private. I am a big public school fan. Both my kids went to great schools and got accepted early to their first choice colleges. we have saved our money and have 6months easy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:38 AM Flag
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I'm really proud that we have one years salary in savings. We're relatively young and with DC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Yes. I think the older you get you have to have a year or two. Older ppl have harder time finding jobs. There are less of those high level jobs, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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I don't have 6 weeks of expenses saved [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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You are young with no kids? Normal if this is the case [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:06 AM Flag
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Nope. At the moment we have about 1/2 a month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:01 AM Flag
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No, but I wish I did! Just bought a modest house and it took a huge chunk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:37 AM Flag
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We only keep about four months in cash. However, when you factor in non-retirement investments, we have close to two years covered. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Ugg, I have a kidney stone. It hurts! Why did this happen? I’m 39, very fit, eat extremely well except for some nightly wine, doesn’t run in my family. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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If you’re well hydrated and getting enough calcium it could just be random. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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do you drink diet coke? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:26 AM Flag
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OP: no soda [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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What does Diet Coke have to do with it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:23 AM Flag
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Are you taking any vitamins? Vitamin C can cause kidney stones - look it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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Just a multi vitamin... but I have been for years. This is so counter intuitive to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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Can you tell me your your symptoms (in addition to pain)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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OP: none aside from the pain of the stone. Started in my kidney two days ago (at which point a CT confirmed location). Now in ureter (I think) trying to come out. No blood but urine is dark (sorry tmi) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:38 AM Flag
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I had 2 a few years ago. Once I passed them the tested and they were Cacium. I’m didn’t drink soda; drank coffee daily; occasional wine. Worse pain of my lif! They prescribed Flonase to open the uereter. I wish you luck and speedy recovery. They say Gatorade and Energy drinks are causing these in recent years, and also in children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Flonase WTF! FlowMax [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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np: Lolz...was wondering, ha ha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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My dh gets them. When they pass you can filter your pee, remove the stones and send them for testing. Some people are more prone to them if eating calcium products, other people the issue is meats. You need to drink a ton of water to prevent and adjust your diet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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Do you eat a lot of spinach? Food high in oxalates can lead to kidney stones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Our nanny has been with us for almost 8 years. First she was full-time, now she's part-time at a nearly full-time rate. This is not financially sustainable for us in the long-term, especially since both of our DCs are in elementary school. We want to give her notice and help her find a family but also need to find someone part-time, since DH and I WOH full-time. If anyone has been in a similar situation or know someone who has, could you help me figure out a plan in terms of notice to nanny and how to deal with childcare (DH and I bring DCs to school so don't need anyone in the morning but will need someone trustworthy and reliable in afternoons to pick up from school and bring to activities/stay with DCs until we get home from work) 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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I'm the OP and one thing I should mention is that if we were to find her a nice family looking for full-time childcare now, we'd be happy to part ways with our nanny as soon as needed. Do we present that to her as an option? She's been good to us and I want to look out for her, but also know that we can't sustain what we're paying her now since we could be saving that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Also, I'm curious about how a share would work - would it be more trouble and planning that it's worth? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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Try honesty. As soon as possible. She’ll be glad you did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Yes, we will be honest but want to figure out a full plan. Do we tell her we can't afford to keep her on beyond June but that we can help her find a nice family looking for full-time childcare sooner? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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I would start the conversation now. Don't give her an exact date, just tell her exactly what you told us. Her help make a profile on Care.com or let other moms in school know she's available. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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I'm inclined to do this. But how do we find a part-time sitter? I've heard from a few moms that it was hard to find someone reliable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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Maybe a college student or a sahm? Ask around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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I'd tell her now and tell her June and that if she finds full time before June you certainly understand (with x weeks notice) and you will help her find a family as well. I think a college/grad student would be the way to go. Columbia U has a list. Also neighborhood list servs--ie. park slope parents might be a good resource. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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Tell her your needs have changed. Ask her if she knows anyone who would want to do the job part-time. She may know lots of potential candidates. You are kind to want to help her settle and you are fortunate to have had a good relationship for 8 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:05 AM Flag
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Very hard to find good care for afternoons only. Ideally, one of you would stay at home- is that possible in the next few years? Otherwise, a teen or young artist is probably a better bet than nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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No, SAH is not possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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Golden rule works here: treat her as you would wish to be treated. With honesty, kindness, and appreciation. A good nanny knows the job can’t last forever. Children grow up. Family needs change. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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agree. nannies hope that it may last as some of their friends make the transition from nanny to housekeeper/drive kids to activities. but that doesn't happen for most. do the best as you can by her and remain in contact. our kids' nanny came for oldest DC's confirmation, even though she had not been with us for 6 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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The reliable, trustworthy, afternoon-only person isn’t that easy to find. You’ll save $$$ but probably a lot more turnover and hassle (my friend who had the same nanny for 10 years has now had 8 PT people in the last 3 - their schedules change, they can’t cook, they can’t deal with the kids, they aren’t reliable or turn out to be slightly crazy, etc, etc) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:54 AM Flag
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OP these are the only stories I've heard -about families who've had nannies for 5+ years and when they had to let her go, they had a series of unreliable PT people. :/ But we are very frugal and have cut down in so many areas but the one place we haven't been able to cut down is childcare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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What about after school programs? Most moms I know did this when they didn't require a nanny anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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OP here - has anyone had luck with sharing your sitter/nanny with another family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:58 AM Flag
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Are you certain she wouldn't want to work less? Have you asked? Worth a shot. Perhaps you could find a mom of very young children who is looking to share her...your nanny could work for her in the AM, like 8-12 before naps. This would help defray costs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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Not certain about that - you might be right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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also is there anything else you pay someone to do at your house that you could pay her to do instead? Clean? Cook? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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^ landscaping, dog walking? Errands? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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I’ll get flamed for saying this but a part of me cringes when I hear people, who don’t seem poor, talking about cheapish options for childcare of young kids. Flame away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:05 AM Flag
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Cheapish options? What do you mean? Not wanting to spend 40k a year on part-time childcare does not make one cheap :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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I am the OP and we're not looking for cheap childcare. What you're saying is bizarre. We are paying more for more hours than nanny works and can't afford to sustain that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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This is totally reasonable and does not read "looking for a bargain" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:21 AM Flag
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I totally agree! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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I would think about whether you really want to give up the luxury of having someone full time. My dcs are 8 and 10 and we don't have a nanny but I would if I could afford it. We use after school care instead and their activities are limited to what is offered at school. We always have to find a camp when there are days off so they rarely have any unscheduled days home. It's always a scramble when someone is sick or there are work conflicts. Kids end up coming to the office. There is no one to help with errands and things get neglected. Kids rooms are messy. We eat takeout more often than we should. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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If you give up full time help for part time what do you do when DCs are sick, school vacations, etc.? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Really? 72 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.18.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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I like the straps but those shoes don't look that comfy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Not at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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They are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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I doubt it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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They are -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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Are you seriously arguing whether or not a clog, that you don’t own, comfortable? Have you literally no life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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Not arguing, no. They don't look comfortable. I have a life...we're both on here, friend! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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Discused earlier. What I hate about Brooklyn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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OP: I missed it! Please share link! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Excuse me? That's a very small part of Brooklyn. Real Brooklyn moms can spot a cheesy transplant from a mile away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Agree completely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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Wait I thought we were all trasplants? Are you seriously born and raised in BK and feel good about that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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Exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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Yes, I am. Brooklyn had a different energy back in the days, before the cornball cookie cutter hipsters and wannabes took over. It is really a shame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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Agreed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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Okay, but if you’re a BK “native” i imagine your parents or relatives were immagrants (aka transplants). No? Or were you native Americans? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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NP: I think someone bought that Salt strap AND the fugly clogs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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You did? Weird. I think they’re ugly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:29 AM Flag
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I am first generation American. My parents are Polish and Italian. You must really be a newcomer if you can't even notice a difference between immigrants who built this borough over decades, gave it culture, character, charm and posers from Bumbfuck Cornfield, USA and Hipster Chads with trust funds. It's a new era, we see the changes and respect it, but it's sad to see everything being wiped out by souless "cool Brooklyn" wannabes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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Stop with the generalizations. I’m sure your parents said the same thing back then. Get over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Oh and I’m from Los Ángeles, btw. Not exactly a cornfield. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Lol Stay in your lane. You're not real Brooklyn and never will be. What are you bringing to the table to add to this borough other than money to cover astronomical rents? Show some respect for those who were here before you and built this great borough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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You cannot be serious. I’ve lived her for 15 years and my kids are “natives” like you. Brooklyn is the second largest city in the US. Your parks and roads, food options (I could go on forever) are drastically better because of “transplants” like me who care to improve the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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Eye roll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:54 AM Flag
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Brooklyn is the second largest city in the US?! NOT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 07:18 AM Flag
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Much of Los Angeles has been ruined in the same way as Brooklyn. Surprised you can’t understand this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:43 AM Flag
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“Newcomer”. Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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So you should know that this limited to certain groups. Are you saying that hipsters have taken over Mill Basin, Brownsville, Canarsie, Flatbush, or all the other neighborhoods were working and middle class families live? Are you saying that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:14 AM Flag
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There are some out in Brownsville. I was shocked reading it. But young kids with lack of funds not wanting to live 20 to an apt will sometimes venture out. If not too snowflakey [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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Uh huh. Keep talking out of your ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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+1 she’s lost it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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I have no words for how stupid this is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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What is stupid about it? That's just NYC reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:47 AM Flag
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OMG do you even read your links? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:47 AM Flag
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These neighborhoods are by train lines. It's only a matter of time, whether you want to disagree/disbelieve/ whatever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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By train lines! Wow. Were you looking at the MTA map or something? Wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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No just your ignorant comments [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:43 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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Pockets of Flatbush by Prospect Park are already gentrified. Try buying a home there. Mill Basin does not have a train line so it may not, same for Garritsen Beach, Marine Park, etc. Brownsville and Canarsie absolutely, it is a matter of time because of the L line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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PP exactly. Unaffordable rents keep pushing people further east [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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Dude, you’re seriously complaining about gentrification here? Get over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:47 AM Flag
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Get over rich assholes coming to my birth place and pushing out all the working class families who have lived here for generations? And this is EXACTLY what is wrong with gentrification. Nobody is going to "get over it". How would you feel if your parents were being pushed out of their house where theyve lived for 50 years? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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Nope. You're going to have to kick a lot of normal middle class people out first before your pockets expand. You assume that this housing bubble will continue and continue. My dead body will be rolled out of my apartment. That's a long time in coming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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Oh please. THIS is what you hate? Blogs and bag straps? You probably tried to get a home in BK at some point but couldn’t afford it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:54 AM Flag
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Brooklyn has a population bigger than many states. It's dumb to say that articles like this represent Brooklyn. Please stop with these dumb comments. You want to talk about a neighborhood or certain demographic, talk about that neighborhood or demographic. Not all 2.5 million of us are running around like the people in the article. Good grief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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This. SO stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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Obviously this doesnt apply to Brownsville, Coney Island, etc. Just affluent white neighborhoods [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:35 AM Flag
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White rich transplants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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ALL of whom don’t serve to live in BK, right? Basically a run down piece of garbage shit borough until recently. You’re welcome.:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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It's still garbage juice. Dirty, loud, basic ass Starbucks everywhere. It's just that now we have some dumbass suckers willing to pay millions to live here to look cool like us. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:08 AM Flag
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So, obviously, when you talk about Brooklyn, you're talking about a whole borough, not a few select neighborhoods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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When referencing this article, just the neighbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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I'm talking about the people on here who say "Brooklyn" like it's one homogenous place. It's not. Not by a long shot. It cracks me up that these posters have no clue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:58 AM Flag
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I thought this is pretty on point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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All of these pics were taken in Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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this is the third post on this today - I really think the owner is spamming [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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OP: not the owner, I didnt scroll back enough to catch the other posts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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Normal people don't care. Join your trollish sisters from earlier today and drink your drink. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Not drinking at the moment but thanks for the suggestion! Plus this is what this forum is for. Go night night if not in the mood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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Oh I'm in the mood. To correct peoples' dumbass comments, that is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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Yawn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Tired? Cuddle up with the Style Section. Best sleeping aid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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I wear those shoes and have a less expensive, etsy version of that bag strap but I don't live in Brooklyn. I just thought I was doing my own thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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Maybe you started it all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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link to etsy? I like the strap thing. I don't live in Brooklyn and those shoes are too much work. I am not wearing those shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:27 AM Flag
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I’d fall flat on my face wearing those hideous clogs. Silly me for thinking they might be practical [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 04:47 AM Flag
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I am just too worried about bunions. I don't wear any heels any more. those are my style from my 20s but now I am picky. I want shoes that look good, are comfortable, and almost no heels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 05:36 AM Flag
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Adorno would say you’re a slave of capitalism. You express your being through products. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 06:09 AM Flag
[ - ] S/o of mp. I have one bathroom and 3dc. People on the mp were saying it's NBD. And, I mean, we're not dying, but it is really difficult and causes arguments 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Which thread? I know how hard it is! We had one bathroom, two kids, and it was HARD. Hopefully will not go back. Even 1 1/2 baths is better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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I have to share with my DH and wish I had y own. DC's have their own [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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And a DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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When I was growing up, we had one bathroom for three kids plus our father. My mom got her own private bathroom for herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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np: We were a family of 5 with 1.5 baths. Wasn't ideal but I didn't know anything else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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I love that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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We were a family of 15 with a half bath. Totally survived. Used the laundromat sink down the street. All 15 of us went to Ivies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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this isn't even funny. try again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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I think it's funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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a lid for every pot! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Who said that? That would suck big time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Sounds like a recipe for hell. How old are they? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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My parents and ILs had a shared bathroom down the hall (NYC) when they were growing up. Families of 4 kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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We have 1 full, 1 half and 2 teen dc, it's a bitch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Cant believe Donut Mom made MP 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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lolz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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:D [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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I’m hungry for gluten. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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I can. Lots of us are on the whole 30 and the just thinking about donuts is fulfilling! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:02 AM Flag
[ - ] I realize the frames I bought (coach, from Target optical) are not me. I find I need to wear the glasses all the time now. What are the best online retailers for frames I can try out? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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Tr on? You need to go to various stores! Took me many trips [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Warby Parker. Not many let you try them on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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They all let you try on if go in person. I went to at least 10 different eye glass stores looking for my frames last summer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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All were UES ish plus Costco and target [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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OP said ONLINE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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And?!! That does not work to try on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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np: she's pretty clear. "try out" - as in return if need be. Seems clear to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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d'oh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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Cheap, ill fitting and boring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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Next time just go to Lenscrafters and try on, then order for cheaper online. Lenscrafters carries Coach, for example. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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I hate people who do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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Stores have become showrooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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And who's paying the rent? The employees salaries? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:24 AM Flag
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They close. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:26 AM Flag
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I used zenni [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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Me too. $19 LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Go to an independent optician who carries non-luxotica frames, which is all LensCrafters carries. Gorgeous, quality frames. Let them help you find the right shape, size, fit, and color. This is impossible to do online. Some frame lines I love: Face A Face, lafont, Fleye. Google independent luxury eyewear. Even if the price is out of your budget, you’ll get a chance to try on and experiment. If you have to wear glasses, why wear cheap crap? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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I’ve worn glasses almost my entire life. Getting a comfortable fit is really important. How do you get that, if you buy them online? Who troubleshoots the prescription? And they are on your face, for goodness sakes. Worn everyday. The first thing someone notices. I want glasses that look good on me. I can’t imagine buying them on line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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JINS. Awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.18.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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