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[ - ] SIL offered us her stokke stroller for our DB due in October. Anyone have this stroller? Do you like it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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OP: We got the uppababy vista at my shower but its still new in the box so I could probably return it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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Go with whatever is less GIANT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:46 PM Flag
[ - ] dogowners: how do you keep shedding and the dog smell to a minimum? brining a puppy home tomorrow and worried that our apartment will never be the same. any tips would be great! thank you 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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Our dog never smells. We give her a bath every two weeks. People will say it's too much but it's not and she loves it. In summer months we keep her hair shorter and I do a wipe on the wood floors with a mop once a day (it takes five minutes). I vacuum 2x a week. Our house is clean and our dog doesn't smell and we aren't even from Lake Wobegon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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Euthanize [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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Dog houses are disgusting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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I think you need to reevaluate getting the dog. A pet is a lifetime (their lifetime not yours) commitment. If you're worried about animal smell in the home you're better off pet free. This is not a snark. It is a reality. better not get a pet than break its heart when you dump it because you could not deal with all that it entails. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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Outs is hypoallergenic and has hair instead of fur so he doesn't smell and sheds very little. Bathe him every couple weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Hoboken and Astoria are now the places to buy, where else? What's "up and coming"? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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What [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Posting from 2000? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Excuse me? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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Hoboken and Astoria where up 2 decades ago [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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ESL? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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Meant to type up and coming to just up. Are you 20? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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Astoria is seriously gross. No one can convince me otherwise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Agreed- although they do have some good restaurants [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Yeah, I suppose so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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I guess you don't like making money on real estate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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If this was number of years ago but not now, not there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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Then where? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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Transplant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Not anymore! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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Sunnyside [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Social Worker Mom here. I'm getting out. Dealing with crazy people is taking a toll on my mental health. It's the dumb stuff that happens every day...for example, I have this one crazy mom who definitely should not have her kids. I haven't been able to get a hold of her because she buys a new burner phone every other day. I finally contacted her mother who told her that I am searching for her. She then calls me three times within 8 minutes and with the last message says, "This is my 3rd and final time calling you. You are harassing my family and I'm done with it. When I try to call you, you don't even pick up." She then said that she's reported me to the state and blah blah. I'm just done. I was accepted to med school and am starting in a month. So fucking happy. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Sadly I don't care about poor people much anymore either. Used to be a teacher. Left to become a nanny. Anytime I have a bad moment at work friends ask if I'll go back to teaching. No way in hell! A bad day as a nanny is still 100 times better than being assaulted by a student. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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sigh..You're right. That is why nuts like this need social services... But this is not a job for everyone. Very hard on emotionally sensitive people (which would be most of us) and completely acceptable to people who should not be holding this job to begin with... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Don't lie. Med schools start in July, not September. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Moving to the US from Canada. I have to figure out dh's company's medical insurance plans. So overwhelming. I am contemplating getting the cheapest and just coming home if anything really big happens. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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What is something big is an emergency. If it's through is company get the best policy you can. Call the HR department and have them walk you through it. Really not that overwhelming and worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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What 'if' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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'his' company. Can't type and work at the same time! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Yes, I am thinking for something big I just come back to Canada. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Are you United Empire Loyalists? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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No. Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Just asking, there is a group of UEL that meet in Manhattan once a month [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Call the embassy and see if Canada has health clinics in the US for its citizens. If so, I'd opt out of an insurance plan and just go home if something big happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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ITA. And if OP is moving to NY it might be worth it to travel to Canada for routine medical appointments. It's probably much cheaper than getting an insurance plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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NO. I work with ex-pats, some from Canada, and there should be someone at the US and the Canadian end who can explain your options. Prob in HR or mobility. Usually ex-pats have great plans when they come here. I've never had anyone have a problem. Your Canadian insur may not be active while you are here...again, ck with HR, not the embassy (it'd be the Consulate anyway). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Canadian here - yep, just do that. Honestly I was advised to do all kinds of crazy nonsense in the US and at home they told me I didn't need the surgery. I still trust Canadian healthcare more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Yea, we are going to be in Michigan so I can go to Windsor, Ontario. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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Oh hell - you can even fly to Toronto to see a specialist. It's 45 minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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we moved here from Toronto - my advice is to get a basic plan here (which will of course cover an emergency). We go back for things like dental, vision, and even physicals. The vaccine schedule for kids is different in Canada than the states (less aggressive). Even though we don't have OHIP, it's still less expensive to do it there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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I am hoping to hang on to my OHIP until it expires at least. How does it work for vaccines since the requirements here are different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Burb divorced mom. One child, her dad bought her an HDFC apt on West 92nd. She is going to move, and I can live in the apt. Have not lived in city for years. Anyone have any thoughts? Apt is small 2BR/1Bath. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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You are so lucky. Those apartments are nicer than you realize [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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Nice apartments, just do not walk around that neighborhood at night. A mom here has posted about the violent attacks in that neighborhood - knock out game etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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If I work late, I take cab home from office. By late, do you mean like after 8 PM or after 10PM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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NP: Recent violent attacks? Thinking of moving right up there. My youngest got into school on UWS and thought it was super safe. Is this an incorrect assumption? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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Just talk to the police precinct [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Just asking - are there income limits on those apts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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It is cray cray. The income limits are only in place when you buy. So a lazy child that makes very little money can be gifted $700 thousand bucks by her father and buy in the building. Once you buy you can make as much as you want ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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OP -- our lawyer has said that my DD can let me in, as I am immediate family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Very very very lucky for you. Jelly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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My DD was not and is not lazy. She has worked every summer since she was 14 and was in college when her dad bought her the apt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Good for her! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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I looked into it - for a family of 4 it is 124K for many of them. But there are 3 bedroom places going from 300k to 800k. OP is right that it is only income considerations when buying. But the value of the apt won't go up as much due to income restrictions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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The income restrictions can be lifted after a certain number of years (I think 25 years in total). I think the building in question has 8 more years of mandatory restrictions. Of course, the board has to vote to lift restrictions, but I think it is a foregone conclusion it will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Holy shit, so I can buy an apartment for each of my children at today's absurdly low price and be secure in the knowledge that in eight years i can sell for full market value? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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The 8 year period is different for every building. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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There are "vibrant" teenagers that have been beating down the "non vibrant" people in the neighborhood. Read any of the articles http://www.westsiderag.com/2015/02/10/police-step-up-patrols-after-students-are-mugged-in-the-west-90s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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The police have stepped up enforcement. Hopefully it will help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Not likely. DeBlasio has forbidden them to stop and frisk so the cops can not get the guns off the streets of the West 90s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Sad. This is not what these apartments were meant to be used for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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So much of the $$$ that is allocated to help the violent poor dysfunctional families is instead captured by smart and savy types that work the system! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Do you have to live in Manhattan to buy one of these? My daughter lives in San Francisco and has been priced out of San Francisco - can we give her money to buy a three bedroom in Manhattan for only 800 thousand dollars? How do we lock this in? 800 thouand is silly cheap for a three bedroom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Search NYTimes listing, use key word HDFC. As long as she meets income standards, she can legally buy. OP -- my DD lived with me in Westchester when we bought. She came in for board interview, but it was, imho, very loosy goosy for board interview. Mostly they wanted to verify that she would be living in it, and that she could pay maintencance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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Why would you want to live in a tiny apartment in a neighborhood filled with crime? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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Its a half block to Central Park, I am relatively careful, lots of great stuff to do just blocks away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:44 PM Flag
[ - ] My SIL and nephew are visiting but I don't speak Spanish and she doesn't speak English. It's a lot more awkward than I imagined. Not really sure what to do with them. Nephew also doesn't speak English, but he's two so just kind of playing around with my kids. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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Start leaning Spanish for next time they visit or you visit them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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get out of the apartment. plenty of spanish speaking in the city. they can translate for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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Warmth and friendliness are not bound by language. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Teach her some english [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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where is dh? he should be around for translating ( I am assuming it's his sister) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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It's my brothers wife and he is traveling for work. We are in the hamptons. I feel like an idiot when I show her pictures of things. Like the beach so see if she wants to go. Luckily we have a pool at the house and she has been swimming with her baby a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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iphone app [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Where are they visiting from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
[ - ] When does family money cross over from lame-living-off-your-parents territory into wealthy-snooty-family money territory? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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What [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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when you can live off the interest in the trust fund [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I went to boarding school and was surrounded by family money. Have kept in touch with many of my classmates through facebook or otherwise and run into some at weddings or other events. To me, when the family has large amounts of money and gives child enough to live their own life (and often set up child with a cushy job most wouldn't have access to) that's wealthy impressive family money. When parent is involved in the day to day, constantly paying rent, buying house for child, and giving an allowance of sorts it seems more lame to me. So I guess the difference is how involved your family is in your life, even if they gave you a large chunk of money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I think that has more to do with the parenting and expectations of the children than super rich vs moderately rich. Either you feel you have done a good job and your kid will take the ball and run with it or you have not and need to keep taking care of you child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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np: believe me, family money even the super wealthy trust fund kind, comes w a lot of strings attached. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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When you have enough that you're not siphoning off from future generations. IE when you can live off the interest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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When you have enough that you don't go on UB posting lame hypotheticals while you're in grad school about SAHM vs WOHM and camp vs no camp. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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rich people are crazy too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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we are neither, but I rolled my eyes when my college roommate got an allowance, was constantly asking her parents for more money, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Who is likely to view your linked profile anonymously? Recruiters? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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good question, it's weird! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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A lot of people, these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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+1. I don't have an account so any time I look at one it must show up as anonymous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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PIs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Recruiters and also current bosses to make sure you're not looking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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There's no way for them to find out if you are looking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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if you have resume attached to your profile and its updated fully, you're looking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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How to tell if the profile is updated fully? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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You should always update every new promotion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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your DH"s ex girlfriends, of course [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Ex boyfriends. Husbands mistress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Scene in the Suburbs: Three young kids standing along the road outside a $7 million dollar mansion trying to sell bottles of store brand bottled water to cars in a traffic jam in front of their house as their Guatemalan nanny looks on. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Why would there be a traffic jam outside a $7mm mansion? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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Highly unlikely in burbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Hahaha they should at least try to repackage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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Why do you laugh at this? My husband runs a hedge fund and we have serious $$$ but we allow our kids to run lemonade stands. Also they sell flags in the day leading up to 4th of July. It is never too early for kids to learn about making money ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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I used to sell the produce my mother grew in her garden. She would charge me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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I totally agree. If you look at the true self made billionaire women like Elizabeth Holmes or Sara Blakely, or the others, they pretty much all had businesses when they were children. Children that are motivated to make money from an early age will push to make money as adults [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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np: I agree BUT there is something different about lemonade in a pitcher sold by the glass (even bigger profit margin) that the kids pour, etc than store bought drinks that the kids just toss in a cooler. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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Why? It is more sanitary to sell packaged stuff. if you go to costco you can buy bottled water for six cents a bottle and sell it to people for $2 a bottle. Good profits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Make some fucking effort [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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no way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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+1 my kids sell cookies, brownies and lemonade in the neighborhood they have to bake it, make it, sell it. They love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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And? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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There is a stupid myth on Urban Baby that you have to be born rich in order to be a rich adult. Couldn't be farther from the truth. the overwhelming majority of the richest people in America are NOT from rich families but are instead from normal upper middle class families [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Ok so they are trying to make the money the honest way. Lemonade stand updated. I think its great. And you seem to have a problem with absolutely everything. One advise for you....www.eomega.com. Go and improve your miserable self. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok, I used to run 6-7 miles a day about 1.5 years ago. I looked amazing! Then got divorced and with all the stress of that ( moving, switching dcs schools, etc) stopped making time for exercising. So I'm mentally back but my body isn't - I am fat! My legs feel like lead weights, to the point that I wind up walking most of the time. I hate it and feel like a loser. Any suggestions? This has been going on for 3-4 months. Tia! 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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you gotta suck it up. take that first run/walk. then do it again. and again. and again. you know this.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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I've been doing that every morning. I don't recall my legs feeling so heavy, they really do feel like they are weighted down. Also I think the band on my bra is too tight and I'm not able to expand my chest enough/fill lungs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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get a bigger bra. it will suck for a while. hang in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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OP: yeah, I'm going to have too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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Let's do it together. We have to run tomorrow morning, promise? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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np: I'm going to run too. We can do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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OP: ok! I don't like group runs but I like the group support. thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Alright, let's all report back after our separate but together runs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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you feel like a loser because you're not exercising? I think someone needs to redefine what makes a loser. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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OP: no, I feel like a loser b/c I wind up walking more than running. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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I've been there. Do couch to 5k just like a beginner. You will have a mental advantage in that you know you can do it . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, I'm going to look into this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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C25k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Can't do it. Made my knees ache after 4 sessions and I had to quit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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Op? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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you'll get there! first, stop comparing yourself now to the 6-mile runner bc you will set yourself up to give up. forget that gal for awhile :-). now you are aiming to run daily just 2 miles with new shoes and new clothes (so they fit right and prevent injury) AND you change your diet. Bc you weigh more, you are risking injuring yourseld if you run too long or hard. you need to lighten your weight and build muscles and lung capacity to stay strong and motivated! Signed, mom who just lost 25 lbs at 45 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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I didn't work out for about two years. I started playing tennis 2x a week a few months ago and did my first intense workout last week. I feel amazing and energized and ready to go five days a week. Pick the thing you like the most to get back into it (not the one you need the most). The energy will come back n [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Okay...I think we're going to intentionally try to space the kids about 5 or 5.5 years apart. Give me your good and bad experiences here please! TIA 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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5 yr spacing here and love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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mee too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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We have almost 5 years between our kids and it's really good for us. They get along very well but each have their own thing going on. What sucks is that just when you're about out of the toddler stage you get thrust back into it, but other than that I think it's a great idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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5 yr spacing here. Great because they want totally different things from you. Older one in K when DB born. Right now it's tough because they want such different things it's hard to plan activities that would interest both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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I am the older sibling in a 5 yr age gap and its horrible. My younger brother and I really have nothing in common and have been in different places our entire lives. Never had a foundation to build a strong relationship on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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That's not because of the age gap. Five years is not that big a gap. Actually maybe it is an odd gap, I don't know. But my baby sis and I are 9 years apart and I love it cause I can live vicariously through her. I get to be 39 on my own and 30 when I am with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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OP here - it actually seems like sometimes bigger gaps can make people closer. I know a lot of stories like yours! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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Yes, that's why I thought maybe 5 is an odd gap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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np: i think you are right that it's not the age gap. i think some siblings are close and others aren't. my friend doesn't talk to her sib who is 2 years younger and very close w her sibs who are 14 and 16 years younger (she is now in her 50s). my friend has 18, 15 and 10yo and the younger 2 are close and the oldest and youngest are close, but the oldest 2 are not. all boys. i think a lot is a personality issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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OR here.. and in my case, it is because of the gap. Happy to hear about your situation with your sister but my situation is different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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women plan, God laughs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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These are so great, thanks, everyone. FWIW, if it all works out I'll be 39 with #2. So there's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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4.5 year spacing and I think it's great - i think the trade off of no sibling rivalry issues in the beginning, not having to deal w newborn and toddler at the same time is worth the fact that you don't get the "little kid phase" of life done as quickly. as a ft wohm i really liked that i wasn't as overwhelmed but i think this would be even more true as a sahm, if one kid is off to K when the baby comes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] There is a guy at work who is kicking and screaming that he deserves promotion yet he took 3 months paternity leave (linger than most women in our department) and is now constantly taking time off for doc appointments and asking to work from home 2-3 x a week. The worst part is that his wife is a teacher so she isn't even working right now. No one seems to see this as an issue but I had difficult time blocking off time to pump. He is getting the promotion despite all this and I am 100% sure this wouldn't fly if he was female and pulled same. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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The women need to kick and scream that they deserve promotion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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He is kicking and screaming for a promotion WHILE also trying to work from home and taking a ton of days off which must be well above our policy limit. Most women simply would not have the audacity to demand both at the same time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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he is a hero for taking time with his kids. Moms are judged and mommy tracked when they do the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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I don't think he is seen as a hero but it isn't seen as an issue. He actually says "now that I have a baby I need to WAH at least 2x a week". I could never ever say this and it would not bode well for my career with the exact same management in place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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Ugh. I would be pissed--does seem sexist. I'm all for parental leave but people having to be professional going forth and realize they're not the only new parent ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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He complains to me that he is working late because of the kid while we are both in the office late and I have more than 1 kid... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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I can only say that I am sorry this situation can go on and women get to witness yet one more injustice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Maternity leave in this country is barbaric. No need to applaud yourself for shortchanging yourself and your baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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I am not applauding myself. I am seeing a total double standard not to mention that women do give birth and BF. I am not comparing maternity policy to other countries but am comparing how man and women are treated by the same management in the same department. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Okay, fair enough. I don't know about the management at your company but I feel like we want more men to want to take on more childcare and do more at home so it's hard to be mad at this guy. If they give him the promotion then I guess there's precedent? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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That was uncalled for. Really. Re-read your reply and think on that before you post something like this next time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Tell us where you went to college and something about you that isn't your job or where you're from and we will imagine what you are like. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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Columbia. I'm a huge Disney geek and go to every D23 convention and Comicon convention as well as follow multiple blogs on Disney news. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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Are you going to the San Diego Comicon this week? Will be a spectacular one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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I agree! So excited! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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What sort of "news" comes out about Disney? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Lots! News rides, shows, movie release announcements, new show announcements, special events at the parks, new hotel offerings, new character meet and greets, stuff like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Also new restaurant openings, new product lines, awards Disney wins, educational programs and museum openings Disney participates in, imagineering convention news and guest speaker announcements, fan meetup conventions, new website changes and offerings, key figure changes in the company, new theme park policies, them park attendance trends, character appearances outside of the parks at non-Disney events, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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Rollins. I enjoy math puzzles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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you arent smart but you wish you were. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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hmm, well I was smart enough for medical school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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GW. I've never performed in a theater group, but I enjoy watching musical theater performances most weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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UCLA. Pretty sure I've watched over 100 Netflix shows from start to finish since I first got Netflix 10 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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Introverted, socially awkward [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Georgetown. I am a huge sports fan (football, basketball, soccer, baseball) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Michigan State. I have four kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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Outdoorsy mom who loves camping? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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Macalester. I really enjoy cooking - find it creative and calming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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You sound like someone I would like :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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Thanks! Well I'm a size 12 so I've already been told today that at least one person on UB wouldn't want to talk with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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I went to Smith. Most of my classmates were SLUG but I was not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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you know you want to at least try it ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Tiny third tier liberal arts college. I love aviation and am about to get my pilot's license. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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You seem adventurous. Trudy from Astronaut Wives. Kickass feminist with a cheating DH you think you're too good for and probably are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Bucknell. I love getting dressed upish and going to museums. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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That's cute. I imagine you having really elaborate doll tea parties with your DDs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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Princeton. I love to sew craftsy stuff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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NYU: I enjoy spiritual workshops and bettering myself in every way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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except I can't kick my UB habit during lunch break. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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What happens in spiritual workshops? Meditation and mindfulness exercises? Praying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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It depends on the workshop but yes meditation and mindfulness exercises mostly. No praying. Not that I have anything against that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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You smoke a lot of weed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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That is in the mindlessness workshops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:46 PM Flag
[ - ] I’m 7 months pregnant and recently found out SIL is 4 months pregnant. My pregnancy was planned and I had a MC right before this pregnancy. SIL was aware of the MC and is aware we are trying. MIL had agreed and offered to help watch my DC from M-F before we found out SIL is also pregnant. Thing is by the time I give birth and finish maternity leave is when I need my MIL and that’s when SIL will be giving birth. I highly doubt MIL will be able to take care of two newborns, and even if she wants to, she can’t be at two places at the same time. I am really annoyed at the whole situation and it’s just unnecessary stress. SIL is younger and it was never on her radar to have kids. I feel like she did this to spite us. We haven’t talked to MIL about if she is still able to watch my DC. Should I bring it up or just let it be and see how things go when time comes? 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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I almost never say this, but get a grip. Your SIL didn't decide to have a baby to spite you. Figure out child care after you have DB (congrats btw) as you have no idea what you will want, until it happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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right? step off, OP. the world does not revolve around you. (np) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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This. Wow. If the onky reason you chose to have a DB was because of the free childcare, maybe it is you who needs to rethink things. And you are right. Women have a special bond with their mothers. MIL will not want to watch your DB if you try in any way to imply that you had dibs on her time and she can't also help her DD. you need to show maximum flexibility not to forever be the bad guy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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op: never once said i decided to have DC because of free childcare. not sure where that came from. also never said i wouldnt get my own nanny. i'm just saying the situation is annoying and if i should plan back up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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OMG, THIS!! Could you be MORE self centered??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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i really doubt your SIL planned this out to spite you. And ask your husband about how/whether to approach his mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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It's hard to believe someone would get pregnant to spite someone. I'd proceed as if MIL will watch her grandchild as planned and be calm as a lake if she renegs (which saying she will watch two is the same as reneging) with a back-up plan at the ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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I also agree. if she says she can watch both it won't work and she is renegging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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This has to be a joke! Pay for child care. Lord! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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SIL is MIL daughter? You lose. sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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kind of sucks for OP, but true unless this girl is staying home with her baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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I doubt SIL got pregnant to spite you. I would just assume MIL will continue to watch DB (SIL may SAH, you never know) but start looking for a backup plan now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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You sound ridiculous. "wasn't on her radar"? people can change their minds or shift life patterns without getting permission from their SILs. also, M-F childcare from an (unpaid?) family members is asking a lot. a couple weeks in, i bet the arrangement would be fraying, other grandbaby or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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she wanted a baby, end of story. Is this SIL her daughter? If so, you may want to make other plans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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your DH should ask if she is still able to watch. Is your SIL working? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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You need to calm down. I really don't think your SIL got preg to spite you -be happy that your DB will have a cousin so close in age! I am sure MIL will honor her commitment, or at least you will figure out something that works for all of you. Just let it be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Your mother in law doesn't owe you child care. Of course she will assist her daughter over you, if at all. Man up and hire help or be prepared for more turmoil. This whole post is ridic, maybe you are just being hormonal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Not OP but I don't agree with this at all... Why would she choose her daughter over her son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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Do you have siblings? What would your mom do if you and your brother were having Dbs at the same time. Are your grandparents still living? Which grandmother do you see more of/is more comfortable in your home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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Yes I have siblings and can't imagine my mother choosing my DB over my brother's. She would be equally as excited for both. More so, my SIL doesn't have kids but also cannot see my MIL thinking this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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You aren't really answering the question. If you both asked her to take care of your DBs what would she do? What about your own grandmothers - who do you see most/who is most relaxed and at home in your parents house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Do you have siblings? What would your mom do if you and your brother were having Dbs at the same time. Are your grandparents still living? Which grandmother do you see more of/is more comfortable in your home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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She would pick her Daughter that's for sure. I don't blame OP for being upset, the situation kind of sucks. I would say hire a mother's helper to help granny with both kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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FFS. You are wildly self involved. Not even a huge narcissist would have kids to spite you. Stiff happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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^^. Stuff happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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I like "stiff happens" better. lol! think about it. Stiff happens and then you're pregnant :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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np: fwiw, i know lots of siblings who weren't thinking about getting pg and then did not to spite their sibling but more in a jealous of the attention kind of way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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How do your know your SIL will even want your MIL to watch her child? Maybe she is going to be a SAHM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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You're freakin' psycho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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I am sorry and I sympathize. I really do. But your MIL will put her daughter before you. It is normal. I think you should start looking for a caregiver as soon as possible. Life doesn't always run smoothly, but I am sure you'll manage. Most of us do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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You are hormonal. You don't hear yourself. Have DH ask his mother if she still wants to watch your DC, but honestly, that can go south so fast....better to arrange for daycare or a nanny like a normal person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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OP: maybe SIL didn't do it to spite me, but I feel like there's something else. She just took her LSAT last month and is planning to go to law school. Her job requires her to get a JD. She's also very career driven. I just found the whole timing questionable. Especially she got pg right after MIL announced she wants to take care of DC. I didn't originally plan on MIL taking care of DC, but she insisted and offered. I thought everything was set and now 2 months to go, I have an extra unnecessary thing to worry about. SIL is MIL's daughter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Really? What's wrong with you? If she got pregnant now it was almost certainly an accident. If not, so what? Pivot, adjust and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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And again, your baby is your problem. Get childcare. You MIL owes you nothing. Discuss with your husband and find a solution that does not involve making relatives your unpaid servants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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Let's play this out. If she just took her LSATs, she isn't starting law school until Sept 2016. Her DB will be @10 mos old by then. Graduate school is one of the better times to have a DB. You have far more flexibility than as a WOHP. Maybe this was her plan all along but she kept mom on it. I didn't tell a soul until I was at 12 weeks. Altnenatively, maybe she just realized all of this and got pregnant first try OR it was a complete accident but she doesn't want to abort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Another beach house question - a dear friend bought a fixer upper a couple of years ago. She had me over for a weekend before she redid the whole place, and then again sort of midway. She hasn't invited me over since but then again hasn't invited anyone over for a weekend. The only people I know who have gone have invited themselves. Is this the way it's done? I would never suggest a weekend to come or fish for an invite. We are still dear friends but I find the whole thing quite odd. Or is this more common than I thought? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Perhaps she is just really busy working on the renovation and doesn't want to host? I would just call and say "how is the renovation coming I'm excited to see the finished result or help in any way I can." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:11 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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The reno is has been done for a year and your suggestion sounds like I'm fishing for an invite. I just find the whole thing strange. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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why strange? maybe she is "over" having house guests for a while and just wants to enjoy her newly renovated place before inviting people or she is inviting and it just is not you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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see below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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that's lame. you can't help with the reno. that's ridiculous. this is a terrible suggestion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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you are not entitled to a visit to your friend's beach house. it is rude to invite yourself. when she wants to, she will invite you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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This is exactly what I mean in my post. I would never invite myself or make some silly suggestions in hopes of an invite. I'm quite surprised that people do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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maybe she realized having guests wasnt so fun. why the entitlement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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How am I entitled? I would never invite myself over, I thought I made that clear in my post...maybe I didn't. Anyway, she has a huge house ( 7 bedrooms) and spends weekends there alone. Why bother getting such a large place for 1? I find it curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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what you find curious is why you aren't being invited. you feel entitled to be invited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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I host her a lot. I too have a beach home but other state. So it isn't like I'm envious. I simply find it strange to have a huge home for 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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maybe she is having an affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Did you thank her after each invite? Did you reciprocate in any way? Dinner in the city? Did you pick up after yourself, or were you messy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes & no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Oh, and I brought some fabulous decorative gifts once I knew what direction she was going in for the reno. It would be nice to seem them in situ, you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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nothing wrong with asking how the renovation is going in a friendly sort of way, but it does seem like you are looking for an invite, so maybe you should not ask [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Just tell her you are free any of such and such weekends and you would love to come out - she can always say sorry she has company those days - I have a beach and just assume others have their own thing going on - it is nice to have good friends over - I will make it a point to tell my good friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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People do invite themselves and it's incredibly rude. She probably is over having house guests right now. I'm sure she will invite you eventually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.06.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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