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[ - ] I'm in my mid 30's now, I went to several colleges and always ended up dropping out. I met my wealthy dh while working as an exotic dancer, he knew what I did. He is still the only person in my life who knows that besides anyone who reads this. Sometimes I want to tell my snobby friends or women on the PTA this and hope they'll leave me alone. I wouldn't and couldn't though because it would likely damage dh and dc's reputations. I have a sketchy past and yet here I am now a wasp. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Why do you want them to leave you alone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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ok. I would probably keep it a secret because people are assholes and will judge you. Sad but true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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What color and religion did you used to be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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That's not sketchy. It's not a big deal. Though, no reason to tell anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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Besides the fact that this is totally trolltastic, you don't just become a WASP. Either you were born a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant, or you were not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here or any of you know anyone who has undergone a hysterectomy before age 45/50 - and how it affects sexual relations afterward? I am contemplating an elective hysterectomy due to cancer concerns, but am worried that I wont enjoy orgasms afterward..Any ideas? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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no one has shared that much with me but i know someone who has had a hysterectomy and she is happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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does she take any type of HRT (hormone replacements)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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No effect, everything should work like it did before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you consider to be a "large age gap" in a relationship? What do you consider to be "too large of an age gap?" Assume both parties here are out of college and at least 25+. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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probably 10 years or more would be large for me. If my DH is 50 and I am 40 yrs old, prob not as severe - but when we are both 65 and 75, yea it would matter to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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10 years is a big age gap, 20 is too big. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] A bunch of parents in my DC's class want to have a forum to share thoughts and have dialogue plus share things like lunchbox recipes, etc for the kids. Hive mind: do you know of a good forum for this? I hesitate to recommend FB because I think you have to be a member even if we have a private group and I don't want that to be a requirement for these parents. Would something like signupgenius or volunteerspot work? not sure. TIA! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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You can do a private group on yahoo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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Run [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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Anything is going to require joining. I suggest FB b/c it's very easy, you can set the group to private with members having to be approved to join. Yahoo can do it too and send out a digest if that's better. But they will then need a yahoo account. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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mightybell.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? I'm currently in graduate school full time, have worked out my schedule so that I pick up DCs 4/5 days from school. At least once a week another parent asks me to pick up their DC and keep until 5:30/6. One family in particular asks often, both parents work and could afford a sitter. I have been saying "no" recently(their DC is not the easiest). This week the mom asked again and offered to pay. Should I accept the money? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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I think you have to make a decision whether you want to do the pick ups or not. If you say yes to the money, I think you're kind of agreeing to help with pick ups moving forward (for payment). The other mother is wondering if she's taking advantage of you, that's why she offered the money. To me, it sounds like you don't want to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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I don't really want to. But honestly if I am receiving money I would not resent the pick up. This week it is for something specific. It is never the same day. Thx. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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It is good she did offer to pay. It's reasonable for her to ask and for you to say no! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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No. Once there is an exchange of money, its a service and not a favor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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Yes, I agree. I'm sick of doing this family favors though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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Yes, if you're up to watching the kid you should since she is offering some money. You do not have to be hard up on money for the cost of caring for one extra dc to go over your budget. I mean surely you are feeding this kid and likely transporting it, plus it takes away from what little time you have with your own dcs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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Thanks, I think you have pin-pointed how I feel. I guess I'm worried about changing the dynamic in general with this family. But honestly, I'm so sick of people taking advantage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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if you need it, yes. if you don't and don't want to deal with the kid, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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Do you want to be her employee? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Good question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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Not if your schedule is impacted. Decline. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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Say no and explain it's a tricky time for you and the kids btwn settling in and getting dinner ready and you're sorry but that isn't a convenient time for you. Good for her btw for offering to pay! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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but why didn't she offer earlier? i hate how people always take advantage of kindness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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It sounds like she knew she was taking advantage of your kindness. I would decline the money and avoid interacting with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Op here. I kind of wish I could but DCs have been friends since toddlerhood and it is hard to avoid. Have tried to make distance this year actually, but impossible to entirely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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OP here. Thanks everyone for your replies. Helped me to clarify! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] What would you do: my parents will have 50th anniversary in 4 yrs and I 'd love to throw them a huge party. But my mom seems to be getting some symptoms of dementia and I don't want to have the party and her not know who anyone is. Alternatively my parents have the same bday, but a year apart. My mom will be 70 this fall, my dad 69. Should I do a joint birthday party this year instead? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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I was in a similar boat 4 years ago(weird). I would throw the 70th party. And you might be able to throw a 50th too in a few years. It might not be dementia, could be regular aging, also sometimes demential progresses very slowly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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Do not bank on anything for 4 years from now. Anything could happen. Really [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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Yes, do something early. We did a big blow out for my mom's 70th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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Yes a big joint party sounds lovely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Omgosh never in a million years would I expect that university name to show up on here. My father went there in the 60s. He was from Michigan, moved to yorktown indiana in ms, which is right outside Muncie, went to bsu. While he was there he did 3 summer internships at a wall street company in NYC and got the job after graduation. I was born in NYC and we always cracked jokes about him attending BALL State lol. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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Opps sorry that was supposed to be a reply about the mom bragging on her bsu grad who interviews HOP university grads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Damnit, HYP** [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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some family jokes are not meant to be shared with the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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You're right. This was the 60s though where it would have been easier to graduate high school and work at a factory and likely make more than my father did the first 20 years working on wall street. HYP universities were looked upon still has being more valuable but a college degree in general basically meant a job no matter what. Now, you can go to Harvard and get a degree and barely find work that pays for basic costs of living. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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I feel stupid - I thought that was just a throwaway like bumblefuck state school ... that's a real school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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np. It's a real school. My dad taught there for a few years, we lived in Muncie before he got a job in New York. (And hey OP!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Wow. What a small world. I've never been there but my father talks about Muncie and the University often. He enjoyed the simplicity and says people there are much more empathetic than those in NYC, is this true? What is it like there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Why would someone post photos on UB? Do you think the photos were of OP? Maybe a frenemy? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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I feel like that had to be a frenemy posting pictures of someone else. That someone else hopefully never gets on this site. It would be a shame for something like that to ruin the site for me and people like me. I enjoy getting personal, marriage, and parenting advice without having anyone actually know me. It's much easier to be honest and receive honest responses this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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I don't think anyone would post pictures of themselves. Very likely to be a frenemy posing as an OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I've posted before about my demanding husband (who only eats about 6 different foods but doesn't cook at all, who sent me back into a snow storm because I got the "wrong" toothpaste, for example). At UB's advice, I've been working with him. Last night HE actually made dinner and we cleaned up together. Small progress but we're making steps. Thanks for the help, ladies. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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You're good. I would've squirt the toothpaste in his eyes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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He was sick, I was deep into babying mode. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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He wasn't that sick of he noticed the wrong toothpaste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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Ah, I see you've never met my DH. I'm pretty sure on his deathbed, he will whisper to me "Why did you let the nurses bring me vanilla pudding? You know I hate vanilla" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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Sounds like you're ok with being his doormat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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We're working on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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"who sent me back into a snowstorm because I got the 'wrong' toothpaste". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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how do you women manage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Feel free to come down off the mountain and show us how to do it the right way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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Np. This isn't a superiority thing, you should not allow anyone to treat you like that. If he wants a specific toothpaste, he should be able to pick it up himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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100%. The way OP worded it was especially troubling. Don't let yourself be ordered around. Either you wanted to go out and get it in the snowstorm because you're a bit of a martyr. Or he's a threatening person who you are scared to stand up to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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exactly. wtf? he "sent you back into the snow storm"? he didn't send you back. you went yourself. i'd have killed dh before i did that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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That would have been a better initial response then [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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To not kill our DHs? It's a daily struggle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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ha ha. i know what you mean. but i just don't understand how a person gets to a point that she runs out of the house for her DH, not her child, her ailing parent or a disabled friend, to get a goddamn preferred brand of toothpaste. actually, even dcs and disabled family/friends would have to do with freaking colgate if there's snow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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I just didn't want to hear about it every night and morning until the toothpaste ran out. He would have said "No, no, this is fine", but then every morning it would be like, "My mouth doesn't feel clean. Who got this toothpaste? We shouldn't buy this kind again." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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but these guys were like this before marriage right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Is a HHI of 500,000 considered middle class or UMC in NYC? DH is considering a job opportunity there, but not sure we can really afford it. Thanks. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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UMC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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If you're doing public you will feel fine. If you are doing private for 2+ kids you will feel stretched. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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of course it's umc. but umc all think they have to feel uc so you will feel "squeezed." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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This. If you're spending $100k of that after-tax salary (which will be ~ $250k) on private school, you're going to feel squeezed, especially when you're dropping DC off at a classmate's $20mm townhouse, or when DC is invited to go to spring break at a friend's parents' villa in St. Tropez. But that doesn't mean you actually will be squeezed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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i wish someone would offer to take my kids to st. tropez. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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Its rich. Period. Top 2-3% in NYC. Send your kids to public school, live somewhere sensible, and you'll be fine. But there are plenty of people for whom half a million is chump change... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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this. It all depends with what circles you're trying to run. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Preschool moms. Which accepts will you be releasing or are you planning to release? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 03.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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releasing one tomorrow morning on UES. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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which one? why cagey? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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Have released or will release IPS, PAM and PCDS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for rough estimate of how much/little you need to make to qualify for full FA (or close) at a NYC private school? I know there are other factors like savings, etc. but wanted to get a sense. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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First, qualifying for financial aid is very different from getting offered financial aid. Rough rule of thumb is that schools expect you to pay approx 20% of gross towards tuition, so up to about $220k you might qualify for some amount, though could be more or less if you have low income but huge savings or assets, or unusual expenses for some reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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^^^ schools allow some amount for retirement savings, usually $3-5k,but beyond that they expect you to put money towards tuition before saving it for retirement or college. If DCs have savings accounts, they expect you to allocate a portion to tuition. If you own a second home or often a first home, you won't get a financial aid offer. If one parent doesn't work, they impute an income (unless there's a baby at home). You have to state the amount you could pay. Even if you "qualify" for the balance, the odds of getting in with a financial aid request are much lower than with no FA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Recommendations for a private room in an NYC restaurant for my dad's 70th bday? The group will be about 10 ppl and the budget is ~$5000 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Hustler Club [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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At $20 a lap dance. That's 250 lap dances. Not sure if a 70 YO man can handle that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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Eleven Madison park [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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Love that place. Love the private room there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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VBA! $5K sounds excessive, would do a more relaxed dinner and a gift or charitable donation instead. Leading with your pocketbook is a bit nouveau dear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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I think your comment is very 'nouveau'. What's wrong with setting a budget? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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ITA. Also- this is crucial when booking a private room for an event. Most require a minimum spend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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right? OR has issues. or has never planned anything... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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NP: Go away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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leave her alone. he built a carwash dynasty and deserves a big affair [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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op- we like our wine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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is midtown okay? if so, what kind of food do you like? casa lever has good italian (but light), obviously, there are the steak places---wolfgangs has a great private room as does the big one on 54th and 6th that i'm blanking on the name of. Sea grille is great for fish and has the view of the rock center skating rink---very nice for folks coming in from out of town. all are in your price range. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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midtown would be easy- they will be staying at a hotel there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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What kind of food does he like? That could help you narrow it down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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^^^ Doesn't ZAgat have a private room section in the review book? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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op- he'll eat anything and everything! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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picholine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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holy cow. haven't lived in nyc in 12 years. that's still there, huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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Lavo, Tao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Any recommendations for a sleep specialist in nyc? Can't fall asleep. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Sherry-Lehmann. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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am looking for a like button [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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+1,000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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Mr Sandman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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YES? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Dr. Klonipin, avoid Dr. Conrad Murray at all costs, your first good night of sleep with him could be your last! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Good one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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Sex always work before sleeping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Stress? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Have you considered acupuncture? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
[ - ] How many SAHMs who get their hour and a half of "me time" at the gym every day are the same ones complaining about how tough it is to find a job once their kids are in school? I know women who could have had two new degrees already if they just spent their time focused on acquiring new skills instead of exercising. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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A half hour a day is "so much time"? I'm a WOHM and 30 mins at the gym is a minimum for me. If I were a SAHM and my kids were in school, I'd be there like 5 hours a day. If not working out, then at the juice bar, in the shop, in the steam room, in the pool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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NP: The OP said an hour and a half at the gym [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Yea I read that wrong. Even still, I don't see anything wrong with taking an hour and a half at the gym. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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I'm not going to take this bait, but I will say that even if these SAHM did spend every free second getting graduate degrees (even from accredited schools and not University of Phoenix), they still wouldn't have practical job experience. That's what is holding them back from being hired. A 40 year old applicant with 3 graduate degrees, but no work experience in the last 5 years will have a harder time being hired than a 40-year-old applicant with only 1 degree who has been consistently working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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ITA lack of education isn't the problem for SAHMs. And taking on huge college debt at 40 with little or no work experience in the last few years is totally dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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This. Also, OP is greatly underestimating the time it takes to get a grad degree at 1.5x5= 7.5 hrs/week, how many years would it take to get the degree again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Are they the same ones who talk about the nice break that WOHMs get for lunch? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Yawn. Exercise is important. As is studying. A balance of both, ideally. Stop complaining about other people's choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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yes, degrees are a guarantee of future employment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Ok, that's great. thanks for the anecdotal input. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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I spent time at the gym when youngest was not in school and I was SAHM, they had babysitting. I had no help otherwise. I also didn't need more degrees (already have 2), just time to look for a job (that I found) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Why do you care? You are going to get worry wrinkles thinking about stuff like this. Let it go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Aren't you supposed to be busy 'leaning in' or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Finally saw gone girl last night and feel like discussing. Anyone else see it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Yes. Didn't read the book, and figured out what was going to happen within the first 15 minutes. So boring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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You are late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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I know I was waiting to read the book first and DH rented it last night from redbox and I decided I prob won't have time to read it any time soon so I watched it with him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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read the book a few times and have been trying to watch the movie. it has put me to sleep 2 nights in a row! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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