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[ - ] I have low vitamin B12 levels and a few other signs of anemia--anyone start taking a b12 supplement and notice a difference in energy? The skeptic in me is inclined to think it's psychosomatic but? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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my mother got B12 shots a few times a year. It gave her a lot of energy. I don't think it's fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Question for other black moms of dds: at what age did/will you let dd experiment with straightening hair? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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My mom let me at 13 9chemical straighter). I have friends today that allowed it at 6 (non-chemical). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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What does she want to use to straighten it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:21 PM Flag
[ - ] I need some fall dresses. Size XL Apple shaped and about $50 or less. Please post links. Thanks. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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Tall, short, average? Big bust? Big Butt? Casual? Work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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Causal only. 5’5 ,butt average & bust is slightly big. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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try Zara and H&M [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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Ok. Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:48 PM Flag
[ - ] If your DC stayed with their BF/GF when they went to college, how did you feel about it? How did it work out? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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Stayed with them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:58 PM Flag
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I think OP means stayed in a relationship with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:13 PM Flag
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Mine did--broke up by spring break and I hate that he wasn't totally free at the start of college. His heart and focus were with her. He's now a junior, has a great girlfriend at school and seems happy, so all good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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My kids always were able to have their partners/gf's bf's stay with us even. No big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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OP. Sorry, I worded my question poorly. I mean if they went to college (the same or different school) and didn't break up. In other words, they remained a couple when they started college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:13 PM Flag
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My dh is my HS boyfriend and we both went to the same college. Married 30 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:17 PM Flag
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Did you ever take a break? Or did you date all through college? Obviously you're happy with the outcome, but how would you advise your DC in this area? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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If dc does what you tell them about a love relationship. There is a lot going on here.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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What is dc saying about the relationship? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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She is conflicted--she thinks the relationship has a lot of potential (and honestly, while it know it sounds strange to say this about people so young, so do I), but she feels like she "should" be single in college so that she can make her own friends and have her own experience. That said, she doesn't want to lose the relationship entirely. I can see both sides. It's ultimately her decision, but she's feeling pretty conflicted about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:50 PM Flag
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She should date others. She shouldn't be conflicted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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Life is long. I guess in general it's good to date many people. My kids already have had many boyfriends/girlfriends. So it's individual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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Land the chopper. They will figure it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:17 PM Flag
[ - ] What’s a last minute gift idea for a 65 year old woman who has it all? She likes cooking and travels often. She likes audio books and likes the woman author with the alphabet series, can’t remember her name, but that genre. It’s for tomorrow (I totally spaced out on the date). Thanks!!! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:32 PM Flag
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two books: Waverley Root's The Food of France and The Food of Italy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:47 PM Flag
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Otherwise, if you in NYC, just stop by Kitchen Arts and Letters on the UES. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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maybe a copy of Honey from a Weed by Patience Gray and the new biography of her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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or a subscription to NY Times food [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:56 PM Flag
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[ - ] I am so conflicted about my mother. I really loved her so much growing up but she has become so strange and I don’t think I should always be the one who is responsible for her emotional well-being. For no reason, she starts crying, all the time. I think it’s a sort of emotional abuse. I think she tries to guilt me. Why, I don’t really know. I do more than enough for her. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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How old is she? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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70 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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np. You shouldn't count on being able to change your mom at this point. The best you can do is lay down boundaries. If she starts crying, you're going to end the phone call. She can call you once a day and leave a message. You may not be able to return a call every day. Once a week she can give you a list of things she needs help with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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It's only abuse if you're captive, in this situation you have a choice whether or not to deal with her. You're the one with the power here. Create some rules and give her no choice but to stick to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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She visits for long times. I can’t kick her out on the street. She lives pretty far away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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np: you need to working on changing you. Creating boundaries, using your voice, etc. It is abusive behavior but you are a party to it and have the ability to change it. Have you been in therapy? If not, that's step 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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I don’t see it as my problem anymore, I see it as her problem. She is the one who needs to stop using me like this. She didn’t have it easy in life. Her mom died when she was a teenager, my father was not a partner in life, she thought that her MIL “stole” my older sister so I was the only one left to be her emotional support. Since I don’t have the time and emotional bandwidth anymore (and just don’t want to either), she is throwing these tantrums. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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and you didn't answer - therapy? That's the solution. There is no quick fix to a life long relationship dynamic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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^ I want to mention - when I “use my voice”, meaning tell her what I feel or think, she starts crying and accusing me. It’s pointless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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^^ here’s what she would say:” Yes, I know, I am stupid and useless.” Bear in mind I never said or implied this, but this is how she shuts down every mention of an issue. How can I even counter that? If I say - no, that’s not at all what i meant but this, this, this (tell her what I think), if I continue, she starts crying. Or she cries right away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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therapy. And fewer visits. I agree this is not healthy for children to witness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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^ this is about you learning to tolerate her as she is, or changing the arrangement, not changing her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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you're fully in a codependent relationship with her. You need to change, not her, because you are all that you can control. I agree she's the problem. Changing yourself is the solution. Trust me. Seek out Al-Anon or another group that will focus on codependence (I understand she's not an alcoholic, by your report). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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She is not an alcoholic but how am I codependent and more importantly, how can I stop this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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research it and read all your replies. I am on your side. You have to focus on yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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^ plus I think it goes without saying that you should have her fully evaluated for medical or mental health issues that might be a factor, since this seems to be a change. Otherwise seems characterological. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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I can’t do that without her consent and she will never consent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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Ok thank you. I will look it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to be responsible for her mental health and happiness. She visits a lot and does the crying at my house. I don’t think it’s good for the kids to witness either. I am so fed up. She shouldn’t come if we are all so awful. There is no reason to cry or complain, she just does it to get sympathy (for what?!?). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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you should research codependence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:49 PM Flag
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This is your mother. Take her to a doctor. I just finished caring for my MIL and FIL for the past 10 years. They had their issues too but it's an obligation we do for one another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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Have her see a therapist. 70 is fine to still get emotional help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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You need to tell her that if she continues to behave this way, you will need her to cut the visit short and leave early as you cannot continue to be her emotional punching bag, and then say no to any visits for a while, and when you resume only allow short ones. That she lives far away is not your fault or problem, nor is whatever else has happened in your life. If she starts to cry or berate you, just walk away, meaning literally leave the room, and the house if you have to, if you are with your kids take them out of the house to the park or something. You really need to be very, very firm and just start shutting all of this down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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^^ in her life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:20 PM Flag
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How will witnessing this affect my daughters? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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Tell them grandmother is sad and has issues. It's life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I had a phone interview yesterday and the woman said her assistant would reach out to offer times to meet in person next week. I’ve been emailing w the asst so far—she hasn’t said anything yet. Should/can I ask send the assistant an email saying thanks for setting up the call and looking forward to meeting you next week? Please help! Should I include ‘let me know some times that work’ or assume she’ll reply w specifics. Tia 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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Thoughts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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It’s the weekend. Give it until Monday at least. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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so don’t send a thank you email to the assistant? i wanted to say thank you after the phone interview but have only ever communicated through assistant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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Save it until Monday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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Okay thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:31 PM Flag
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This. First thing monday morning send the assistant an email saying thanks again for setting up the interiew, you really enjoyed talking to x and you're excited about the job, and x said you should be in touch with the asst about setting up an in person mtg and your availability is blank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:15 PM Flag
[ - ] There is absolutely genetic predisposition to mental illness. I saw someone assert the opposite in the post about DD dating an alcoholic. PSA for the day. Signed, psychologist. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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Of course there is. One poster’s comment doesn’t change that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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There's a predisposition, both genetically and because you tend to mirror the behaviors of the people who raised you. It's not dispositive though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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You're conflating genetic and social learning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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I bet there are twin studies when twins were raised apart and they both have a mental illness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you let your kids swim at a cape beach which was closed earlier in the day for a great white sighting? (This happens several times a week.) I dont but my friends think I'm crazy. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Nope. Go to the bay side. There is zero reason to swim on the ocean side of the Cape [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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I think they determined it was a basking shark [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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"I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you." Can your kids swim faster than the other kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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This gave me a chuckle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] So sick of rich privilege. The kids at DDs school who were rich or famous, got in their dream school ED. They were able to pick their own room mates, or get singles even where that was not allowed. They already have friends from high school going there because there is a cluster of private school kids all going to the same schools. They are already set for a great situation.My DD knows nobody at her school, got a random roomate, and struggling. I know this is how life is. 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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Tend your own garden. What’s wrong with a random roommate anyway? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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I really wish everyone still got random roommates. So much better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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I think it's a nice touch that she's keeping up with all the housing plans of her daughter's former classmates. Because that's not creepy or anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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The Aristocrats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Sorry, not everyone is famous or wealthy. You made your own choices, they just weren't good ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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Yea I should have married Jerry Seinfeld, the opportunity did not present itself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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That was a very narrow plan to get rich. You should have diversified your goals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Wow, you really sound like a bitch - an ignorant one no less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:07 PM Flag
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huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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Was this a public school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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This is honestly one of the perils of being UMC/bottom of 1%. You get so focused on looking up and providing opportune to your kids that you lose sight of the fact that you are setting expectations that that type of privilege is the norm. It’s extremely hard to get right but I would think her going somewhere that she doesn’t have this ready built group of friends and doesn’t see the same group of people from HS clustering together with other kids they have known for years from summers in the Hamptons or Maine will be better for her in the long run. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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Well said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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These are self created “perils” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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Sure but real and something that takes some effort to guard against. Providing opportunity and some privilege is what most parents want for their kids. Keeping balance and perspective is tough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:16 PM Flag
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If your dd's school has rich and famous kids, I doubt your dd is in a bad situation. Stop comparing and be grateful for what you already have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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This. Count your blessings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:08 PM Flag
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I came to America to do my masters not knowing a single person at my university. Had a roommate from hell my first year and yet my ultimate memories are not of those things. Struggling a bit in the beginning and being really home sick ultimately just matured me and I would not give up that experience for anything. So what if rich kids got what they wanted? I am sure your child will be able to create her environment and support circle as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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This, and I was born here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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I know it seems hard now, but she is going to be forced to make new friends and can reinvent herself however she wants. She can go in w a new style, new haircut and nobody will question her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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So your dd is at a college? Lucky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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Freshmen started this week for most colleges. How is she already “struggling”? Maybe she’s “adjusting” to a new experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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np: first Friday night with nothing to do? Maybe roommate made plans with someone else? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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It took me a while to find my group in college, as well as most people I know. I don’t know of anyone who had built in friendships when starting college. In fact, most were glad to put high school and their hometown behind them. I bet 10 bucks that this is the experience of a lot of college students. It’s a new phase of life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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And, I’m a NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:01 PM Flag
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I agree that rich privilege is sickening . . . for many reasons. But what YOU'RE describing is pretty much a normal college experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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This is interesting. You’re saying that had she been of the regular MC college set she would Have been going to state school with everyone from HS and having a similar experience (just a few ranks down the college prestige and $$ ladder) to what OP describes for the wealthy and connected at Ivy League/top LACs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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np: I grew up lmc and went to Ivy as did dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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Are you Connecticut College Mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:53 PM Flag
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Huh, did you daughter not get into a school that she likes? Why did she apply to a school that is so inadequate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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Where do you get this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:07 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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General Topics 08.24.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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Tell your DD: Welcome to the real world! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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I hesitated to put my son I private Bc of these reasons. Having unlimited money is not the norm, I never wanted him to feel like it is the norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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So she had to wait for the regular admissions cycle like most kids? and she got a random roommate like most kids? Did she end up at a good school? or did she go somewhere random? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:16 PM Flag
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This post reeks of privilege [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:18 PM Flag
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They are more likely to donate and provide opportunities for other students down the road and they also have privacy considerations, I dated someone that was best friends with a billionaires child, I was basically vetted and kept at a distance from the best friend for a long time, I eventually saw why, there were so many people trying to get close to either use them or catch a break. They had freedoms I didn't like being able to take a private plane wherever, but I had the luxury of knowing whoever I was with wanted little from me and anonymity even if that meant standing in line [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:49 PM Flag
[ - ] DD is invited to the Bat Mitzvah of a classmate. We are not Jewish and not exposed to Jewish culture at all. The invite says ceremony at a temple in the afternoon and then the party that goes on until very late at night. Tell me please how does this work - the whole thing is 7 hours long...are kids expected to be there throughout or just the party? DD has never been to a late night party - will it be rude to pick up early?TIA 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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if the invite doesn’t say the party might be immediately following the service. Totally fair to ask the host if she/he wasn’t clear on the invite. It is not rude at all to pick up from the party early. The party typically is dinner then games and dancing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:51 PM Flag
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My feeling is she should go to the temple or find out at what point the bat mitzvah girl will go on the bima to recite her torah portion. At another point it's usual for the student to have a torah portion that they read in depth and also offer commentary about it. At other portions family members go up to read from the torah. It can be very interesting. At our temple all the religious school students and friends sat together. Does your dd know anyone else going (friends?). When is the party? Immediately after the service? Sometimes there is a gap of time between. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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So let this be the first time. We were only exposed to Jewish culture on as much as living in MYC. Exposes you to. My DS went to lots of bar and bat mitzvahs. Went to the temple, sometimes found it a little long but that is a part of learning about other religions and cultures. And picking up early is fine but she will go to late parties sometime... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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*in as much as living in NYC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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If you don't believe in the religion, you shouldn't take part in the religious activities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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do Jewish people mind non believers participating? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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Not the ones I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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Good grief, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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Of course not! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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Gosh - this is a silly-trolly comment - the OP should just ask. Meanwhile, all are welcome to see the girl participate in a ceremony and give a talk interpreting the Torah. She worked hard for this moment and your dd will what to support her by attending. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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Sorry - meant to be calling the comment about “not taking part in the religious activities” trolly, not the OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:00 PM Flag
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It sounds like they expect the guests to attend the ceremony, and go right into the celebration. Skipping the ceremony could be a bit like skipping the wedding ceremony and but showing up for the open bar reception. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Is 2MM enough retirement for 1 person? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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Depends on where you live. If low COL area, you own a home and you get SS, then definitely. And when are you talking about retiring? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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Depends on so many factors. For most people this will be MORE than enough if they own a home and do not have debt, assuming they have modest tastes and expectations. Health care is the great unknown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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UB will tell you that you'll be eating cat food with such a paltry retirement fund. If you don't have $25 million saved, you're broke! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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More than enough. $200K is sufficient in some areas for a decent standard of living [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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You can assume you can draw down 4% a year if you want this to last a long time. Not 5%. And are we talking today or 15 years from now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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Today, invested appropriately, for a 50 year old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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You would have to live off only 3% of the principal now if assume. How are you paying for health care? What will SS look like at 67 if you stop working now? You should go to the website and calculate that. I would think it makes sense to work 5 note years unless you have a very low COL. Esp housing costs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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Yes, true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:07 PM Flag
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So many factors: age of retirement, overall health/projected lifespan, activities in retirement (travel, vacation, etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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Are you debt free? Do you still have a mortgage or pay rent? Do you have any pension? Have you checked what SS will give you? Where do you live? I have a very small pension, will wait till 70 to take SS, live in a semi rural area in the Northeast and have about 1.5mm. I think I’ll be ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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I hope so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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If you invest and don’t touch the principle, it should bring you a gross income of 80k per year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:05 PM Flag
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80k in 30 years will be nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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What are you assuming is the age of retirement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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She said she is 50 and she is talking about now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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Okay, didn’t see that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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WHERE DOES SHE SAY 50?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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We have far less than that, but we retired and moved to another country (and technically we still run two businesses, about five or ten hours a week). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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I am 45 and have about 1.5mm in retirement accounts. Plus over a million in home equity. Was much better before divorce. Anyway I don’t see how I can retire until 60 at the earliest. Hoping to build up to 2.3 million by 50 and then I can breather a sigh of relief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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Oh brother, you people have no clue how the average person lives. Sigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] I bought a big sectional & now am regretting it a little. there is some off-gassing, and I live in a smallish apartment. Any tips for how to solve this-- for instance, can I send it back? Or can I cover it in in slipcovers that control the smell, which isn't extreme, just enough to get to me. TIA! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 11:48 AM Flag
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Open your windows and maybe use fans across sofa pointing toward open windows--you want the gas to dissipate. Using slip covers on the sofa won't help this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 12:02 PM Flag
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thank you... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 12:16 PM Flag
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I used to make furniture and import it as well, we would let our onshore furniture sit a week before we wrapped it for shipping, most of the import stuff was wrapped right away and contained all the fumes, it will go away in a short time - it is summer - open the windows and put a fan on it if you want to speed the process [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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It will go away. All new furniture is like this unless it's been sitting unsold for an age, in which case it smells different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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You're smelling what "new" smells like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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Don’t cover it, it needs to breathe. Open windows, it’s a good day for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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Agree--open windows, put on fan. Sometimes though furniture can just be awful...my friend had to get rid of a desk set (wood particle board etc) b/c it wouldn't go away and the fumes were making them all feel sick. Just try the suggestions but don't be afraid after 2 weeks to call it a dud [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:37 PM Flag
[ - ] The last two years have been so stressful. I realized tonight that I can’t remember what it felt to feel truly happy and free. Not miserable, just constant stress. Mistakes, I’ve made a few. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:29 AM Flag
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what is the source of stress? Can you minimize it in any way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:52 AM Flag
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This was me. But it was more like 5 years. I am now a year out from the end of the stress and I am much better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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Try to think of your life in chunks. You are going through a very stressful chunk of time now and that happens to most people. There will be brighter days ahead. I know people who have gone from rags to riches (many different ways) and others who have gone from riches to rags in different ways. If you and your loved ones have your health that is what's most important. If someone does not have their health than I'm sorry, there is nothing harder. You will persevere, though. You will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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Hi twin, hang in there. the last two years were a horrible stress ball for me too. My house flooded in Hurricane Harvey. My family of four lived with my dad for 18-months while we built our new home. I also went through a terrible job situation during that time. I found a new one and am much happier. I finally feel like the weight of that stress has gone and I can relax and enjoy life like a normal person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Any suggestions for a great first movie for a 5 year old? To watch at home. Nothing too scary and definitely nothing with weapons. I'd rather it wasn't Disney. TIA. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:19 AM Flag
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I haven't seen it myself but Peter Rabbit looks cute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:41 AM Flag
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My four year old boy loves this movie. It is funny for adults too. Highly recommend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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Cars, Babe, Charlotte’s Web, Kung Fu Panda, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:52 AM Flag
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I know it’s off season but both my kids love how the grinch stole Christmas (new and original version) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 12:24 PM Flag
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My kids love Grinch these too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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Wall-E. It’s disney. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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Muppet movies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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S/he has never seen a movie? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 01:36 PM Flag
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Not yet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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Not a movie but at that age dd and i used to watch angelina ballerina together on Netflix. And we had some angelina books too. I have happy memories from that time. Sometimes when one of us would say something silly, the other one would say "oh, alice" in a british accent. Now she's an annoying preteen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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Matilda, Home alone, Beethoven, Despicable Me, Enchanted. Disney movies- Tangled [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.24.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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