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[ - ] Are there Jewish families at Chapin? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
[ - ] A pregnant woman in our coop building wrote us a letter and slipped it under the door, telling us that she and her DH would pay what amounts to about 5% more (she wrote out the dollar amount) than what we paid for our apartment 6 years ago. Our apartment is currently worth at least 50% (not 5) more than that. DH looked at each other and laughed. We hardly know these people, our apartment is not even on the market but it's one of the few 2-bedrooms in our building. I think this woman believes this to be a good deal. She's out of her mind. How do we politely decline? Do I even need to explain that her "offer" would never even be considered? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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No explanation necessary. Just say you're not interested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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No. Don't bother trying to let her know that she's cheap or bad at research. Just write her a short and sweet note back saying you're not interested in selling. She's either really cheap and thinks she can trick people into a smoking deal or she just is a bit clueless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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DH thinks she might just be naive and clueless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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Reply that the whole market has increased in last 6 years, and you would consider x [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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why is it relevant that she is pregnant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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Why is it not relevant? I suppose they need more space? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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NP: I guess they're looking for an extra bedroom. There's always an interest in the 2 bedroom apartments in my building, because they're limited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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Eh. I would decide the price point at which you would be willing to move and tell her that you would only consider moving for $x, particularly given the current market value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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Agree. Unless you are indeed prepared to sell, no need for you to indicate your price. If you are, then inflate your estimated market price by 5%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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That offer is insulting and not even worth a response. If you see her, just tell her you're not interested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Clarisonic. Yes or no? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:06 PM Flag
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No. Exfoliation is overrated. Just massage your face as you rub your lotion in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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I thought it was a total waste for acne. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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it really depends what you're looking for. i have the kind of skin that has always been oily, congested, prone to breakouts. while i can't say that clarisonic is life changing, i will say that i feel that my skin gets cleaner (esp on days i wore make up) and that it's smoother/less bumpy. but i do a lot of things besides using the clarisonic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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What do you do other than clarisonic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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did not work for me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
[ - ] I currently have a job making 150k with very little stress and 40 hours per week. How much of an increased salary would you need to consider a job that is considerably more stressful and may involve slightly more hours per week? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:05 PM Flag
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I wouldn't do that at all unless I desperately needed the money. It's a good salary and the additional stress could seriously destroy your family life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:07 PM Flag
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+1. I would love your situation. What do you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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What kind of job is this? And why would you ever, ever give it up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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seriously, I need a job like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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Not all thst much if the hours aren't meaningfully more. If you work say 45 hours but still walk out the door and don't worry about it until you come back, maybe $25k. If more stressful means you actually do work more, $50+. That said, it probably in the end comes down to what % of HHI your income is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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250-300k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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I left a high stress 60+ hour/week job for a low stress 40 hour/week job and was willing to take a 50% paycut to do it. So I would expect at least double the income to go back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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^ I make $150K now so would require at least $300K to go back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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I wouldn't. Of course it would depend on overall financial situation but if I could have a low stress $150k job for 40 hours a week I don't think any amount of money could get me to give it up unless I was unhappy with it for other reasons. I have a good hours, low stress job and make 100k less than this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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Do you need more money? Sounds like a good gig and no need to ruin your balanced life without good reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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I'm an MD and made this choice between a relatively low-stress specialty that paid $160k and a high stress specialty with slightly more hours that paid $250k...hard choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
[ - ] We were able to get the apartment next door to ours, and plan to paint and wallpaper in that second apartment since it's currently empty. When renovations are finished, the apts will be joined. Should we also plan to paint/wallpaper our current apartment? Trying to decide if it's worth the hassle. The current apt is obviously not empty, so that's a bigger undertaking. OTOH, it might look awkward/unfinished/disjointed if we do the adjoining apartment and not this one. Thoughts? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:59 PM Flag
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definitely not- we just combined too and we pretty much didn't touch the existing apt outside of the entryway and so didnt have to move furniture/rugs and deal with dust. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:04 PM Flag
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Interesting. Did you feel that the existing paint in your first apartment was what you wanted? It's not for us -- it's fine, but we always thought that perhaps we should do something different in terms of paint/wallpaper. Just blinking because it would be a significant undertaking . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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You're very lucky. :) Enjoy your new huge place~! What colors are you doing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:05 PM Flag
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I know! Very exciting. Although we get more living space, we actually only get a very small amount of additional closet space, which is a bummer because we could really use more of that. Oh, well -- nothing is perfect, I guess. We're having a so-called color consultant come help us identify good colors given the lighting. DH thinks we should just choose what we want and go for it, but I would like a professional's opinion (which we don't have to take, obviously). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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You can probably selectively wallpaper but paint, not so much. Presumably, you'll need to paint and move things out of the way at the point you tear down walls to join the two apts anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:06 PM Flag
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That's the thing -- we are only putting in pocket doors, so entire walls don't have to come down. If they did, it might be an easier call. So we will have to move a few things, but nothing like what would be required to paint the entirety of the first apartment. I guess I don't want to regret not doing it because it will be even harder to motivate once the first apartment is finished and we've been living in the combined space for awhile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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Paint and wallpaper will not make it look different unless the other apartment has completely different style it will be the same. You will have to freshen up paint around the area where you are combining anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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We're not painting it the same as the current apartment -- it will be completely different. Hence the dilemma. We're only installing pocket doors, so we actually wouldn't have to do much in the current apartment if we chose not to . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:16 PM Flag
[ - ] My 10 yr. old nephew (my brother’s son) has spent several summers with me and my children (I am from Europe) here in NYC. I am by no means rich, but better off financially than my brother, so I thought by my nephew spending the summer with my family, it would create a bond with his cousins (I have 2 DC around the same age and they get along great). I love my nephew, very smart and curious kid, it pains me to think of him playing video games from sunset to sundown the entire summer. From NYC, we usually take a beach vacation to Central America or the Caribbean. Of course, I take care of all the expenses and even paid the airfare from Europe to NYC in the past. Because my DS is special needs, a few days ago, my brother accused me of being selfish and only use my nephew as a therapist for my SN son. I was floored. Raising a child with special need is so painful for so many reasons. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:59 PM Flag
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"David, I assure you, if there's any therapy going on, it's in making sure [nephew] doesn't turn out to be an a%^$# like you." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:01 PM Flag
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OP, I love this ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:16 PM Flag
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Why would he send his son to you if he believed this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:03 PM Flag
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that is really a mean thing to say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:07 PM Flag
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OP, I cried all week end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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What is going on with your son? Be honest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:07 PM Flag
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OP: My DS has a Intellectual Disability and would be considered immature for his age, but well behaved and very social. He is younger than my nephew and absolutely loves him as he is so happy to have a male cousin with similar interest unlike his sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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He is a horrible brother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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Ungrateful siblings - nothing new. He's probably jealous because he thinks you've "made it" by moving to the U.S. I know that most European countries enjoy an equal or better SOL than the U.S., but it's still an achievement to move to *New York*. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Any ideas where I can find a girls (10) basketball shoe that doesn't look like it should be worn by a thug or some very urban child? TIA! online or UWS or UES NYC. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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Um, I hate to break it to you, but if you live in the heart of NYC, you have "some very urban child". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:03 PM Flag
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Good God. Calm down [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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NOKD. Go back to the burbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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you sound lovely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
[ - ] DH's grandmother died, we're flying this week to the viewing/funeral with our 11 and 13 yr old boys (their great-grandmother). Large, Italian Catholic family (My family is Quaker and our boys go to Friends School) and MIL called to remind me that it will be open casket. I get it, it's what they do but if it makes dh and I this uncomfortable we can't imagine how our boys will be. Maybe we should just go to the funeral...that wouldn't be open casket too, would it?? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:51 PM Flag
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It will be open at the funeral initially but usually closed once the service begins. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:52 PM Flag
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they can go and stay in the lobby. when my grandmother died i didn't want to see her in her open casket. i sat on the couch and didn't go in the room with the open casket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:53 PM Flag
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They're old enough to see it. Explain that different religions have different practices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:53 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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You don't have to look into it. But if your boys want to, I'd let them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:53 PM Flag
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+1. Great starting point for opening conversation about different beliefs and customs. They will take their cue from your reactions. Be open and sort of blasé. It's no biggie, really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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Generally, open casket the whole time. However, I saw my grandfather when I was 8. Not traumatizing, just gross. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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I'll weigh in that I don't find it the least bit gross and didnt as a child either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:56 PM Flag
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+1 and same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:58 PM Flag
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+2 Not gross [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:58 PM Flag
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What do you do when you see dead animals? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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Your children are certainly old enough to attend open casket funeral [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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They don't have to view the casket if it makes them uncomfortable, but you absolutely should be at the wake to support your MIL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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Absolutely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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I've been going to open casket funerals since I was about 5. It's fine. Usually they are closed during the church services. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:56 PM Flag
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Have you never been to an open casket funeral? Dying is a part of life and your boys are definitely old enough to handle it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:56 PM Flag
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Totally agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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I went to my first open casket funeral at four when my grandfather died. No big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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You're really trying hard to get out of going, huh? Maybe just send a card? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:01 PM Flag
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You have to go, I am not Italian Catholic but DH's family are and not going to the viewing is a major problem. I had a hard time with it at first but it is how they do things and you just have to go along with it. DH's family would never forgive close family members who did this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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In the old days. The bodies would be placed on the sofa with dry ice underneath them so the family members could come and say their goodbyes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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Veal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you invite ex dh over for holidays when your marriage broke up over his infidelity? His relationship with the ow did not last and he seems like such a sad sack these days. The whole mess was like a grenade in me and dcs lives but we have moved on and are in a better place. I know dcs would love it but just not sure I have it in me to extend this invitation. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:46 PM Flag
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Sure, living well is the best revenge :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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Yes. I would have DH over for kids no matter what. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:48 PM Flag
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Sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:48 PM Flag
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If you've moved on, fine. If you want to reunite, fine. But if you still have feelings, it's risky. His sad sackiness could change back to giddiness as soon as he meets yet another woman and could you handle that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:56 PM Flag
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If you read no other response be sure to read and understand this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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No. Consequences remind people to behave better. He broke up the family; it's up to him to make it up to the kids, not up to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:02 PM Flag
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He can't make it up to the kids if she does not allow him to. Don't put the kids in the middle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:04 PM Flag
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I am struggling with this right now (as an adult). My dad cheated on my mom. I want to invite both of my parents over the for the holidays. It will be really nice for your dcs if you set the tone and have a friendly relationship where you can both participate together in holidays and milestones, so you don't end up with adult children who are riddled with guilt about spending separate but equal time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] How much do people who work in family offices (managing investments of very rich families) tend to make? Is this a high paying field? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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Why do you ask? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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I'll admit, doing research on a guy I met. Acts like he is a big deal, but trying to independently confirm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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he's not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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90-100k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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OP: haha, really? This guy name drops all these influential people he knows through his job, talks about charity galas he attends, and generally tries to make people believe he is a big deal. Suspected this was not really the case but thank you for confirming! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:45 PM Flag
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well, he didn't get his job by being modest and realistic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:46 PM Flag
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np. It's one of the perks of the job, but no, they don't consider him "one of them." Also they tend to frown on people who have the appearance of indiscretion or infiltrating tendencies. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't last too long in that job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:48 PM Flag
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he has pretty good exit options [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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then why is he working a shit wealth mgmt job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:09 PM Flag
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Maybe, maybe not. People can ruin their names pretty quickly these days with one wrong move. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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Is he part of the family whose money he is managing? If so, the money isn't really the point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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You are very wrong about that. It totally depends on his job. He could manage money or answer phones. The salary will vary accordingly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:52 PM Flag
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+1. Base-level guess - he prob makes 200-250k all-in- there is a certain premium because it is a white-collar finance job, but it isn't a hard one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:00 PM Flag
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It depends. Family offices can have one or two admin-type employees managing a few million or they can be staffed like a hedge fund or endowment managing billions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:47 PM Flag
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OP: I googled, and it's a small office managing around $800 million. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:51 PM Flag
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Assuming they charge 1.0% a year to manage the money, that would be about $8 million a year for the office to cover costs of the office and to split up between employees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:58 PM Flag
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$800mm isn't small. Anything over $500mm is consider large in personal wealth management [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:02 PM Flag
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^^^^I've worked in the industry for a long time, and I have absolutely no idea how much this guy would make based on the info provided [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:06 PM Flag
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He might have a lower base like 100k but make a percentage of what he earns for the family each year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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highly doubtful unless he is really managing some of the money instead of farming it out to other hedge funds or PE shops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:59 PM Flag
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NP: no, it's very common for key employees to participate in the profits of a family office [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:01 PM Flag
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I aint running my family office that way if I ever get there- not paying 2 sets of middle men [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:05 PM Flag
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Or: it's incentive to do your job well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:06 PM Flag
[ - ] DD is starting K in two weeks. Has anyone had experience with the Lands End small backpack? Is it too small? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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They have a size chart on their website where they tell you the height range and what fits. Make sure you pick one that can hold a folder [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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Yes according to the height chart the small would be perfect for her but I'm worried it won't hold much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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I am watching this, as this would be my concern as well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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I got the medium. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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How tall is dc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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43 inches. It'll be a little big this year, but NBD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:02 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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It's a classic, you can't go wrong. And you will be utilizing that return policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:36 PM Flag
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Dd used this one for kindergarten last year, perfect size. She'll be using it again this year. http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/62855?feat=514257-GN3&page=junior-original-book-pack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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+1 not Lands End, but it's great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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Lands End? He will be mercilessly made fun of [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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this. N_O_K_D [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:44 PM Flag
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We aren't WASPs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:46 PM Flag
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It would be completely fine if you were. LLBean too. It's when you're a striver thst its an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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So what backpacks do kids in K wear? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:47 PM Flag
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they don't. the really cool kids use roller backpacks -- much better for their backs and posture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:48 PM Flag
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Haha, funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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Not at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:56 PM Flag
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?? No one pays attention to the backpack at our school. Most kids have lands end or LL Bean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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We got the medium for K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
[ - ] We live in Park Slope and DD will be starting the High School application process this fall. She like Math and Science, so it seems like Brooklyn Tech would be a good choice, but I haven't heard of many white, Jewish, UMC girls (or boys) there. Does anyone know anyone like her at Brooklyn Tech, and if so, are they happy there? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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tech is so large and diverse that it will have representation from all groups. anyway, worry about getting the appropriate score before getting carried away about fit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:28 PM Flag
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I have a son, he has many friends at tech - they are without a doubt the nicest boys. Can't help you with girls ... Sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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Does it matter if she finds other kids like her (demographics)? She will find other girls who like Math and Science, so that's a big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] One of my favorite things is inviting someone over for drinks or dinner after we've known each other casually and seeing them figure out how cool we are, even though we don't play the game. Every time we meet a couple who seems like they'd be fun to hang around with and invite them over, after an hour or two they say "we had no idea you guys were like this!" That's why it's so much fun to watch other people play the game so hard - go ahead, have your parties with wildly insecure people who are only there to compare each other's shoes and who leave feeling like shit because their kitchen isn't as big as yours. We'll be quietly hanging out with the cool people without you. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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If people are so surprised you must act like real asses the rest of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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You sound insufferable and I understand why no one invites you to anything...Jesus! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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Lol this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:46 PM Flag
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OMG. Is this high school? Why do you care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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It's hard to explain. My town is SO heavy into the cool girls crowd. They prance around dropping hints about where they're going for break, how much their renovation is costing, how much they love spending the weekend in the City. And there are a lot of people who try desperately to break into that crowd. It's just fun when we can show them that the real cool crowd are the ones who aren't trying so hard to seem like they're on top of the situation. And yes, my town is VERY much like high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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Ugh. Why would you play into it? This sounds awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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I think I'm not explaining myself well. I DON'T play into it. That's the point. It's fun to prove that not playing into the game makes me cooler than those who do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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No, I understood. But, despite what you think, you are playing into it by enjoying the turnaround. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:44 PM Flag
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Thinking about this at all makes you totally un-cool. "Seeing them figure out how cool we are." When cool people have others over, they don't think about what those people are thinking or how they are being perceived as compared to how others in the town are perceived, etc. They, likewise, don't have "fun" watching others play the game b/c they, literally, don't think about it in any way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:57 PM Flag
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Sounds like you like the game. Enjoy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:00 PM Flag
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The REALLY cool people don't even notice that kind of thing or hang out with people who do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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So instead you try really hard to appear just like everyone else, even though you aren't, and then only reveal your true identity to carefully selected people? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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No. I seem like an outsider to most people. And then yes, I only reveal my true identity to carefully selected people after that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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Idiotic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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I'm hoping op is trying to make some sort of joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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op is drunk at 10 am [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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This. I can't imagine putting that much energy into trying to pretend she's not trying to impress people one couple at a time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:34 PM Flag
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Wow. Someone clearly annoys the fuck out of you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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this isn't real, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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You're like me! One of my favorite pastimes is walking into a place I've never been and waiting until people's eyes sweep across my face. I see their pupils dilate and they get that look of awestruck happiness at having someone like me in their presence. It's so cool that I can give them that gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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Np- lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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Chuckling... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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Um what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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Thinking this much about such a silly topic = not cool. I bet OP wears Lisa Loeb glasses and keeps a Charles Bukowski book prominently/faux casually displayed on a coffee table. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:49 PM Flag
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I'm not cool and I don't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
[ - ] One of my old friends is going through a tough time. She is 40, ended a long term relationship, quit her job and moved back to her hometown to work in her parents' business. I know she wants nothing more than a DH and a family. Day said to invite her to visit us for a week or two. This is my issue - she visited us once, 10 years ago, when DH and I were engaged. When she was in my home (shared with then fiancé) she said to me that she would like to steal my fiancé. I told her to drop this instantly. Now - why would I invite her?!? DH is SAHD. What would stop her from starting an affair with her? Am I crazy here? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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You are crazy. I'm sure she was kidding and paying you a compliment about your DH. And you don't sound like much of a friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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No, she was actually serious about it. You weren't there, so I guess you have to take my word on it. My question was whether I'd be crazy to consider her visiting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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It was 10 years ago. If you don't think she has changed then don't invite her. The bigger problem is why you think your DH is vulnerable to an affair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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Was she joking 10 years ago? Like "he's really great, lucky you, I'd like to steal him"? I admit, I'd be suspect and take the time off work to 'hang out with my friend' if she comes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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OP. No - she wasn't joking and it was serious. I am sure her sister planted this idea in her head though, as I don't think she is that kind of a person. Her sister is somewhat vile though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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NP: If someone seriously wants to "steal" your husband, they don't generally announce it to your face. Maybe she was serious about being jealous of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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If you're afraid to have someone visit you because you think they will steal your husband, you probably shouldn't call yourselves friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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Or maybe she shouldn't be married to a DH she thinks can be so easily "stolen" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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any man is susceptible to this. do not kid yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:02 PM Flag
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Any man may be susceptible to cheating, but I'd wager most men aren't that eager to leave their wife and kids and ruin everyone's lives unless they felt that was their only option. They're more likely to try to have their cake and eat it too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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true. but i'm sure op's concern about her "friend" stealing her dh inc cheating and not just him actually leaving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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Other than that, I really like her. I don't know what possessed her to say that - as I said, I think her evil sister talked her into it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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You are crazy. UB has made you insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:54 PM Flag
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Can she afford him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:00 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] DH forgot my birthday this weekend. This was after I told him the week before I wanted to go out to dinner on my birthday and see a broadway show. He scheduled a weekend away instead. That would have been fine, except I was showing DS family pictures on DH's phone and saw a couple pictures of a female colleague in these slutty bikini pictures. He says it was totally innocent, she sent them to him and they are from 15 years ago, but I was still pissed. I need to let it go, but feel down. Please give me advice. I was thinking about taking the afternoon off to get a pedicure and get a nice lunch. Any other ideas? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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Stop thinking about your toes and start considering that dh is cheating. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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I have. Went through emails, texts, etc. He agreed it was inappropriate but didn't see it that way at the time because he thought it was funny. He's an asshole, and he admits it. Right now I just want to not feel so down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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What would be funny about that? And I can guarantee you SHE thought about it. No way a woman sends bikini pics to a married man unless she has gotten a big ole, "This behavior is welcome!" message. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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What were his texts and e-mails with her like? What was his reply to her photos? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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They were all fine. I didn't see a reply to the photo, but he could have deleted it. I should say that he links his email and texts to our home computer. I work from home, so I see his correspondences all day when they happen. I never snoop, but it's right there when I log in. I've never seen anything, but I'm not in the office with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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Did you ask him where his response is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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Doesn't sound innocent to me. If I were you I'd be looking for signs of an affair. Was the weekend away for the two of you or for him alone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Him alone. Golf thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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Let it go?? Why on earth would you do that? He's a lousy, cheating, lying douchebag. DH would do exactly as I asked for my birthday. He would delete any pics a "colleague" sent him of herself (regardless of what she was wearing) and tell her how inappropriate she is being to send him bikini photos. He certainly wouldn't try to say it was totally innocent when asked about it. Am doormat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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We had a huge blow up fight about it before he left. It was him trying to defend himself, said he would never have an affair, etc. I told him everyone is capable and the pictures don't scream "faithful husband." He apologized profusely, said he never intended to hurt me. He didn't mean to forgot my birthday, he just didn't realize it was this weekend. He had asked around for the best show now, and was looking into Matilda. I told him he might have had intentions to celebrate with me, but he didn't. I want to let it go because I'm tired of fighting about it. I'm generally a low drama person. If he's cheating, I'm not going to figure it out now and beating myself up isn't going to help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:34 PM Flag
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you told him you wanted to go out but probably didn't mention it was your bday. he may be cheating, but he may also have just forgotten. you can make it easier rather than look for trouble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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I did mention it. I said "My birthday is next Monday. I'd like to go out to a nice dinner and a matinee show on Saturday or Sunday that weekend or the next one, depending on when we can find tickets" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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I'm normally not the...He has having an affair...type...but wake up. My DH sucks and he is remembering my birthday and wouldn't dream of going away alone for a golf weekend. Happy Birthday by the way. Mine is tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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I would forward to their boss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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Are you 12? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:47 PM Flag
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48 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:50 PM Flag
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Happy Birthday :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:49 PM Flag
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Is she married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:51 PM Flag
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Enjoy your day, get a pedicure, buy yourself something nice as a birthday present and nice flowers for your home so you can enjoy them while you work. Keep this situation in your mind and don't dismiss any other inappropriate behaviors as dumb mistakes. Send dh a clear warning that this will not happen again and keep it moving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:51 PM Flag
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i was never one to jump on the affiar bandwagon either. but when dh started forgetting my bday (for the first time in 20 years), was in hindsight, right after he started having an affair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Your sutch a MORON. jJees 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.31.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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