• Filter the conversation
[ - ] Just wondering what people consider to be cheating. I read something a couple of days ago "when you start deleting your messages then consider yourself a cheat", and thats got my mind thinking... What makes a cheat? Now, in my opinion you can't be a cheat unless something physical has happened, but others say you're cheating even without the physical factor. Just wondering what other women think... 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:46 AM Flag
»
I wonder this too. My DH (we are currently separated) often crossed a line with women I think. Long coffees that really weren't necessary with colleagues, that kind of thing. Not cheating per se, but it made me very uncomfortable and he wasn't always forthcoming. And then in one case the lunches/drink after work progressed to kissing at which point he says he called it off immediately. That is definitely cheating in my mind though I don't know whether he really sees it as "that bad." For me, the worst was the lies and hiding; it felt like such a punch in the gut. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:59 AM Flag
[ - ] is moving from a 2000 sq. ft house with .25 acres to a 2900 sq. ft house with 1.25 aces enough of a step up for a growing family with 3 kids. also has about 600 sq. ft of finished basement. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:41 AM Flag
»
What do you mean step up? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:50 AM Flag
»
op-i don't know...is it enough of an improvement in space - meaning enough as in enough of more space [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:46 AM Flag
»
No matter how much you have, it's never enough. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:55 AM Flag
»
oh, yes. 2900 is plenty. i hat finished basements, though. it's still a basement and usually dank. but now that i've owned a home, i really hate yards. kids stop using it before too long and it is a lot of work/expensive. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:50 AM Flag
»
^^ that's not to say you couldn't go bigger cuz people do all the time and like it. but 2900 is plenty if you want it manageable. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:51 AM Flag
»
I hope that land is woods and does not need to maintained. It gets old very fast. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:54 AM Flag
»
Yeah so I have about 1000 sq. ft. Apartment, no yard. So I think you are just fine. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Which painting do you like better? http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bar/3880252646.html 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:13 AM Flag
»
Are you the mom who is selling her paintings? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:15 AM Flag
»
No. Another Mom posted earlier and someone asked her for the link. I can't decide which one I like better. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:16 AM Flag
»
Art Mom - I like both of them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:19 AM Flag
»
Those are hideous and amateurish. Pass on both. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:19 AM Flag
»
Grow up [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:19 AM Flag
»
You should not say that about other people's work. You troll. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:20 AM Flag
»
They are really, really bad. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:21 AM Flag
»
Why? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:23 AM Flag
»
I went back to analyze why they were so bad, but the link was deleted. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:58 AM Flag
»
+1 but so is most of modern art [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:23 AM Flag
»
Second [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:19 AM Flag
»
OMG they're AWFUL! maybe the second one... But still... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:20 AM Flag
»
You are a nice person. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:22 AM Flag
»
Deleted within minutes. Couldn't take the criticism, huh? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:22 AM Flag
»
Dh here. I put these up to prove my wife cannot paint. Thanks ladies. I will show her this in the morning. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:26 AM Flag
»
Ew why would you do that? You sound horrible [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:29 AM Flag
»
Because I knew you ladies would put a stop to this nonsense. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:30 AM Flag
»
She's going to look at these responses and be done with it. Go back to doing other stuff. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:31 AM Flag
»
"other stuff" such as what? How is her painting negatively effecting you? Don't you have hobbies? You sound selfish and douchey [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:33 AM Flag
»
Why do you care if she paints or doesn't paint? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:31 AM Flag
»
Because she thinks she has talent. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:32 AM Flag
»
she doesn't. but that doesn't mean she can't paint. she might also improve with time as with anything else. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:33 AM Flag
»
Why do you care if she thinks she has talent? Why not let her think so if it makes her happy? She probably let's you think you have a big dick to spare your feelings. Why not show her the same courtesy? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
lol. right on target. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:30 AM Flag
»
you can tell her the firework was especially horrendous. but you know, shitty paintings never stopped most modern artists from achieving success. it's the lack of notoriety. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:26 AM Flag
»
I am haut going to print screen and she can read this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:33 AM Flag
»
There was that movie about what a crock a lot of modern art is. "Exit Through the Gift Shop" or something like that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:34 AM Flag
»
maybe she paints for her emotional health. Why not be supportive? Not everyone is Picasso [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:23 AM Flag
»
picasso sucked, too. but that never stopped him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:25 AM Flag
»
We now know this post is fake since you've made such a stupid remark [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:27 AM Flag
»
he does suck. and he sucked harder as he got older and got more insane/stupider. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:32 AM Flag
»
Why did you delete? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:33 AM Flag
»
I tried to look, but the page has been deleted. Why? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:22 AM Flag
»
read up, dumb fuck. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
gratuitous hostility... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:43 AM Flag
»
Did you bitches tell an ill woman her art sucks? I am sad I didn't get to see it, but even sadder if UB did that... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:34 AM Flag
»
well, it did suck and we didn't know for a while that it was op's wife's work. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:44 AM Flag
»
and why do you think she is ill? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:44 AM Flag
»
She wrote in the other post that she is awaiting an organ transplant. Too ill to work, and this is what she does in her spare time. You're all assholes. I am not sure where that DH came from, if he is true or not...but I am so disappointed. That's like telling my 6yo with cancer her picture sucks because she didn't stay in the lines. Ugh. This made me sick. I am so sad for the artist. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:39 AM Flag
»
stop spazzing out. you don't post on an anonymous board if you want soothing reassurances. so remember not to put you dd's drawing here if she gets cancer. ok? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:47 AM Flag
»
You sound like a gem. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:55 AM Flag
»
Spazzing? Are you in the 70's? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:56 AM Flag
»
I am the artist that you all speak of. My dh is sound asleep in bed and I have no idea who the dh is up above. I posted my link in an earlier thread. Somebody reposted the link, I certainly did not expect it to go to the top of UB. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:47 AM Flag
»
Artist, sorry UB is being so harsh. Sorry I didn't see your work, but good luck...and if it sells, that's all you need, not this stupid UB criticism. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:42 AM Flag
»
You seem very nice. Criticism never killed anyone. It's all good! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:52 AM Flag
»
You are all entitled to your opinions. I am not Picasso or any famous artist. But I get peace from my art work. I am sure that many of you could use just a little bit of peace. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:50 AM Flag
»
clearly [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 05:02 AM Flag
[ - ] I know my place in society. I'm poor. Feel free to throw trash at me. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
»
no one throws trash at you cuz you are poor. they just feel superior and look down. but no reason to feel bad about your standing in society. we all go to the grave empty handed. just work on getting a little financial stability for yourself/family. good luck. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:12 AM Flag
»
Well thanks. Same to you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:06 AM Flag
»
There are many ways to be poor. If you're talking about having no money but are rich in health, friends, etc... you're lucky [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:07 AM Flag
»
this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:16 AM Flag
»
i hate these platitudes. the rich have more health, more friends, more everything. that's why people want money. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:12 AM Flag
»
you must be very young with little real life experience if you really believe this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:24 AM Flag
»
i'm 43 and have tons of money. believe me, my life is a whole lot better for it. just the lack of stress from not having to worry about most everything is nearly priceless. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:29 AM Flag
»
If you're so happy why are you threatened by the platitudes? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:32 AM Flag
»
i'm not threatened. but people should be realistic. you can be lucky without money as long as you are not poor. but op is poor. and having money makes everything better because it reduces stress. but i guess i should let people think magically b/c what does it matter? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
Honestly poor is relative. OP is not feeling great about herself. We have no idea if the only income she has is from the cans she collects, or if she has a HHI of $350K and can't send her kids to private school. Platitudes like that are helpful, because they remind us we all have things to be grateful for. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:45 AM Flag
»
I am poor [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:19 AM Flag
»
I am happiest when I am poor. Material possessions weight people down and creat all kinds of problems. Be Happy, Joyous and Free! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 05:06 AM Flag
[ - ] What is the purpose of an "open marriage"? Honestly just curious. And what about the "forsaking all others" part of your vows-did you skip it? Does DH go out on dates with other women? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:01 AM Flag
»
maybe if i really hated or stopped wanting to have sex, i might let dh do it IF IF IF he were to be super discreet and safe. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:03 AM Flag
»
I'm not in an open marriage, and I don't think that model would work for me, but my vows said nothing about forsaking all others. I mean it was implied, but not stated explicitly [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:14 AM Flag
»
the "forsaking all others" part is a religious invention and has nothing to do with the marriage contract. Open marriage are just made up of honest cheaters [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:08 AM Flag
»
Dh and I were hit on by swingers. I felt like I was innocent at that point. I thought that only happened in movies. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:15 AM Flag
»
We did, literally, skip the "forsaking all others" line in our marriage vows. Although as time has gone on, with kids and careers, we have had less time to spend on the "open" side of our marriage. Sure we will in the future though. We've been together long enough to know we can have flings outside the relationship without putting it at risk, know we want to be together forever. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:40 AM Flag
[ - ] I am staying in New York for first time and wanted to stay by central park? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:00 AM Flag
»
Ok, have fun. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:00 AM Flag
»
Good for your, hon. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:01 AM Flag
»
My hon? I'm traveling alone, thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:22 AM Flag
»
Write with conviction. Why the question mark? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:01 AM Flag
»
Are you seriously that dense? Don't answer that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:23 AM Flag
»
i like the new york palace. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:03 AM Flag
»
^^ but not SUPER close to the park, though within walking distance. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:13 AM Flag
»
Excuse the nastiness, I promise all ny'ers are not like this! How much do you want to spend? The mandarin oriental is near CP and amazing, so is Trump. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:09 AM Flag
»
Essex house [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
»
OP: Thanks to all the helpful posters... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:24 AM Flag
»
:) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:31 AM Flag
»
try the Lucern or Le Parker Meridian [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:46 AM Flag
[ - ] How did you announce to dh that you were pregnant for the first time? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:59 AM Flag
»
I left the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:02 AM Flag
»
He knew before I did. He was the one who told me to "go pee on a stick", so he was the one who got to look at it and see the results. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:11 AM Flag
»
wrapped up baby booties as a present [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:09 AM Flag
»
leave pregnancy stick next to his shaver [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:42 AM Flag
»
i told him [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 05:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Anybody watching the NBA game? Amazing! I can't imagine the feeling of an athlete when he makes a crucial shot in a crucial game. Must be an amazing high. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:57 AM Flag
»
Is the NBA still full of thugs? I prefer college ball. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:52 AM Flag
»
Do you talk like that around your kids? Yuck. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:56 AM Flag
»
??? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:04 AM Flag
»
This [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:06 AM Flag
»
Thugs? Is that really something you can't say? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:28 AM Flag
»
boggles the mind [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:41 AM Flag
»
Do you remember all the rapes, murders, and wife beatings? Last time I listened to the words NBA, Allen Iverson was destroying it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:38 AM Flag
»
Where do you think NBA players come from? College ball [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:51 AM Flag
»
Pretty much! It is sad but true. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
»
The NBA players are better. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
it's just a job to them by that time of life [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:09 AM Flag
»
Gee, I come to watch them play, not to ponder their motivations. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
An amazing game. My dd is a professional athlete and even as a parent it is a high like no other when she comes up big. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:17 AM Flag
»
I bet it is! That was an incredible game. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:34 AM Flag
»
Yup. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
Sport? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:28 AM Flag
»
Soccer, but that's all I'm giving away ;) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 05:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Is the G&T master list here up to date? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
NY Schools 06.19.13, 03:31 AM Flag
»
I think so [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:37 AM Flag
[ - ] About to enroll dc at lower lab for K. I'm feeling really nervous about it, hope its the right thing to do 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:31 AM Flag
»
There is no right thing. LL is a great public school. In the old days parents didn't overthink everything. And by old days, I mean way back in 2006 when NEST was the subject of ridicule on UB and parents used g&t programs to get their kids out of sub-par publics and not because they obsessed about their kids getting a special gifted education. Sad, and if the DOE would not have given in to the silly cry to establish more citywides, lots of this "nervousness" would be ended. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:31 AM Flag
»
Do you have kids in GT? My older qualified but we didn't get a satisfactory placement, younger has a spot at LL. I don't think my older dc's school is strong enough and am worried that LL might be too intense in comparison. Oh we'll, I'll just get through this and then it will soon be time to worry about middle schools [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:36 AM Flag
»
I don't know what kind of school your older dc goes to, but if it is a good gen ed, it is strong enough. It is elementary school. Dcs don't need to be challenged all the time -- they need to learn the basics and retain a love of learning. The rest comes later. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:38 AM Flag
»
Thanks. I think her gen Ed is just ok, I'm switching her this fall to a better gen Ed, but it's just not about academics, she hasn't really made any friends at school so I am hoping she may do better with a new groups of kids [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:52 AM Flag
»
np: i have lots of friends w kids at LL and not one of them has ever described it as "too intense" and these are not neurotic type A parents either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:14 AM Flag
»
perfectly good place. don't be nervous [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
[ - ] STCM are you there? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:25 AM Flag
»
She is away on vacation. Try back in 4 days. Good night. - PM [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:05 AM Flag
»
she'll be back later to make a fool of you again [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
[ - ] I met a guy who was married, we had sex on the first night. Carried on this affair for 2 years. He ended up divorcing and marrying me. Anybody else shares a similar background? Happily married for 7 years, 1 dc together (we each had dc from previous relationships). I never tell the whole story,but decided to share with UB since there seems to be so much hatred towards the OW. Sometimes the OW is just the catalyst. 57 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:23 AM Flag
»
EW [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:23 AM Flag
»
op: Why "ew"? He was going to divorce her any way, it was a matter of time. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
Hon, if you need it explained to you why you are disgusting, you are never going to understand. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:27 AM Flag
»
op: Relationship was over when I got in the picture. Divorces are not caused by third parties, [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:29 AM Flag
»
right... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:37 AM Flag
»
np: i agree that the divorce is not caused by a 3rd party. where i disagree though is that sometimes the option created by the 3rd party, creates a disincentive to try to work through problems in the marriage. not that all problems can be worked through, but IMO couples should at least make that effort, rather than running for the next relationship they assume will be better. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:09 AM Flag
»
i think all problems can be worked out. but sometimes, people don't want to put in the effort. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:14 AM Flag
»
no, i don't think serious abuse can be "worked out", nor can an alcohol or drug problem where the user refuses rehab or has relapsed innumerable times, or unrepentant and chronic infidelity. i also think there are people unwilling to go to therapy and deal with personal issues that create insurmountable obstacles in the relationship and you can't work those out. but my guess is that half of divorces are people who didn't want to make the effort. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:21 AM Flag
»
tldr [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:35 AM Flag
»
stay classy [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:24 AM Flag
»
^this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 05:10 AM Flag
»
You guys deserve each other. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:24 AM Flag
»
op: Thanks. We are in fact a great match. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:31 AM Flag
»
It wasn't meant as a compliment, cunt. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:25 AM Flag
»
NP: lol, OP is as stupid as she is skanky [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:25 AM Flag
»
op: I knew exactly what I was doing when I replied. OW gets all the bad rep, no one seems to ever believe that exes had anything to do with the end of the marriage. I find is interesting. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:34 AM Flag
»
a 2 year affair isn't the catalyst, it's the cause. dang, you're stupid. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:37 AM Flag
»
op: I know, I was being sarcastic. :-) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
Skank. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:33 AM Flag
»
ho fo sho [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:35 AM Flag
»
OP will be back here in a couple years bitching about how her DH has been cheating on her for the last two years and is now divorcing her ass. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:28 AM Flag
»
Yup. That's a given. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:36 AM Flag
»
op: We are in an open marriage. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:37 AM Flag
»
lol of COURSE you are. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:38 AM Flag
»
keep on skanking... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
An open marriage is not a marriage [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Open marriage? So basically the only difference between you and his first wife is that first wife wouldn't put up with his cheating but you will. If first wife had agreed to "open marriage" he'd still be with her. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:54 AM Flag
»
Open marriage? So basically the only difference between you and his first wife is that first wife wouldn't put up with his cheating but you will. If first wife had agreed to "open marriage" he'd still be with her. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:54 AM Flag
»
and you're so proud. awesome. remember, you are going to be that hag he's married to pretty soon. if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:36 AM Flag
»
How can you say you are happily married? Do you have no moral compass? I.e., I couldn't look my husband in the face if he knew that I had done something so heinous. Is it "ok" with you because you both did it? Or is it that you don't think lying and cheating is wrong in every circumstance? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:30 AM Flag
»
dewd, don't be melodramatic. people have varying degrees of morality. that's why we have laws. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
Yes, that's my point. Immoral people have varying degrees of morality. I guess as long as you find someone who is on your level and want your children to have that level as well, it's all good...except for the original partners who got duped. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:41 AM Flag
»
dewd, op sounds like a delusional ass but morality is grey. there are white lies. we also lie to protect someone. we steal when we are starving. we kill in wars. things happen. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:55 AM Flag
»
Maybe I am the only one here - but I understand that emotions and relationships are complex and not black and white. I believe cheating is wrong, but I don't doubt that you and your husband are happy together. Maybe his wife was horrible. We don't know. I won't judge. I wish you guys the best. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:37 AM Flag
»
fucktar alert! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
Is that like Ishtar? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:17 AM Flag
»
no, it's tar for fucking, obviously. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:21 AM Flag
»
Hi OP! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:39 AM Flag
»
I'm actually not op, I just don't get so worked up about it like most people on UB and I wanted to see if I am the only one. I guess I am! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:41 AM Flag
»
NP--no, you're not the only one. I was going to say something similar. I don't agree with her actions but I don't necessarily think it means her marriage is doomed or that he is going to cheat on her [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:44 AM Flag
»
you don't think cheaters keep cheating. how bizarre. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:39 AM Flag
»
I think often they do. But it's within reason to think that perhaps some don't [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:48 AM Flag
»
perhaps a very, very small, tiny, eensy, weensy minority. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:58 AM Flag
»
yeah, you're the only knucklehead on this one. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:37 AM Flag
»
Why are people freaking out? Are you all so afraid it will happen to you? Seriously, I am curious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:49 AM Flag
»
Who's freaking out? They're typing on a keyboard. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Jesus you're dense. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:55 AM Flag
»
cuz it's gross. duh. i don't think cheating in itself is a horrendous thing. but breaking up a family and being proud of it, that's the nadir (or is it the apogee) of skankiness. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:57 AM Flag
»
Don't feed the trolls. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:39 AM Flag
»
Hi Angie! How's Brad? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:38 AM Flag
»
now, that marriage was over when brad dumped her so unceremoniously, which was rude. but how about j aniston getting her bf to dump his wife/gf/whatever of like 15 years? they even had kids. you don't care about that, do you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:40 AM Flag
»
and what about julia roberts? do you get so worked up about those? i don't understand this weird obsession with a jollie. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:41 AM Flag
»
Whatever op. I think you are sincere. Don't listen to them. I know you're not straight out of Big Love. If that works for you and him then so be it. I think it's the betrayal that hurts the most, but if they were already fighting to the point the demise of the relationship was apparent then so what? The ex=wife is likely glad to be out of that relationship and on to someone she has a good relationship with. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
»
Hi OP [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:38 AM Flag
»
nobody cares but I wouldn't mention this to your kid [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:11 AM Flag
»
like he's not going to find out. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:21 AM Flag
»
I was the one cheated on. And I knew the OW socially. He went on to marry her and have kids. He went on the cheat on her too, but apparently her self esteem is low enough that she will put up with it and they are still together. They are both disgusting scumbags who deserve each other. The only blessing is that we never had DCs! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 05:01 AM Flag
[ - ] If you got your job in the last five years, where did you first hear about it? My friend is trying to convince me that no one gets jobs these days except by knowing someone. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:22 AM Flag
»
Headhunter. I wasn't looking. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:24 AM Flag
»
Through a work acquaintance (had met at a county Bar event) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
My friend left her job and recommended me. My dh got his job bc we had a friend in the hr dept [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:25 AM Flag
»
Headhunter. That's not true - just an excuse people tell themselves. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:28 AM Flag
»
Advertisement on an industry association website. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:31 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:40 AM Flag
»
Company website. Knew no one. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:39 AM Flag
»
Switched twice in the last 5 years - first was a headhunter, second was a former colleague hired me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:33 AM Flag
»
That's definitely true in my field. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:34 AM Flag
»
What's the field? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:36 AM Flag
»
Architecture [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:41 AM Flag
»
Online posting on a site specific to my field. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:05 AM Flag
»
want ads [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:11 AM Flag
»
well, i think your professional network is definitely a good resource when job hunting, certainly people get jobs through headhunters. and sometimes those 2 work together. headhunter puts you in for a job and it turns out a former colleague works there, they recommend you and you are far likelier to be on the short list. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:29 AM Flag
»
Well, knowing someone did help me. But I knew him (my current boss) because of some projects we had worked on before hand so he had seen first hand the quality of my work/my skill set. FWIW I do a fair amount of hiring and I would say about 40% of the time the person hired has some connection to our organization, but definitely not always. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Not sure what to do about my marriage. DH is cheap to the pint where he does t like going out to eat at a pricey restaurant. Didn't want to vacation in Europe because its too expensive. Won't buy new clothes until his old clothes get too ratty to wear. Eats breakfast every day at his moms (she lives a few blocks away from us). I am wondering if I should cut my losses and move on, we don't have DCs (I am 38, he is 46). Is there any hope in changing him? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:22 AM Flag
»
no. if you want him to be different you should have married somebody different. Does he enjoy his frugal life? or does he like to be miserable? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
He enjoys his frugal life because he tells me he manages to save $500K by living like a pauper for half his life. He used to bike to work so he wouldn't have to pay for the subway fares during the summer. He also drives a used car that someone donated to his boss at a charity event and his boss gave it to him as a bonus, so he kept it. (It's a 1998 sedan). We are married 3 years now, I earn a slightly higher income than him, but I never thought he would still be so frugal. I thought he would want to enjoy the money we bring home every month (about $11K after taxes). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:31 AM Flag
»
people are the way they are. but can't you enjoy life or does he chew you out if you spend money? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:34 AM Flag
»
No thank god he does new chew me out for my spending money. We have separate checking accounts and only share a checking acct for housing and utility bills. He doesn't care how many shoes I buy every month or that I eat lunch out almost every other day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:58 AM Flag
»
so what's the problem? but i don't understand these marriages where wife/husb keep track of who's is what. that doesn't seem like a deep partnership. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
»
That seems contrary to building a financial future together. Do you two not have shared financial goals? Why should one person scrimp and save while the other one blows through "her" cash? You two need a financial intervention pretty quickly. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:52 AM Flag
»
That is really weird he eats breakfast at his moms every day [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:32 AM Flag
»
Her house is on his way to work. He gets in at 7:30 am so he stops by at 6:30 to have coffee. A first I thought it was sweet because he cares about her (she is 82 years old). But now I think it's because he's too cheap to grab a bagel and coffee at the deli! (I get up for work at 8 am). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:27 AM Flag
»
OK. So you are not even awake when he has gotten ready and arrived at the office? There's the issue. I don't think it's frugality. His mother has his breakfast ready for him and he can socialize with her at the same time. If you were up having breakfast when he was up, I don't think he'd be leaving to have breakfast somewhere else. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:42 AM Flag
»
True. That's probably the reason. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:59 AM Flag
»
Everything sounded reasonable until the part about eating breakfast at his mother's house every day. What is up with that? Was he doing this when you were going out and before you got married? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:36 AM Flag
»
i bet that's partly because he loves his mother and wants to check in on her every day. and i am sure it's a comforting routine. hell, i wish my mom would cook me breakfast every day and i'd even pay her to do it if she'd agree. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:35 AM Flag
»
This behavior did not change when you got married. He was like this before you got married. You can't go into a marriage thinking you are going to change someone. It doesn't work like that. It says a lot about you that you would consider "cutting your losses and moving on" over something so trivial. You were never really into him were you? You felt like you were running out of time and had better get married, didn't you? This smacks of it. Sad. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:52 AM Flag
»
No, I meant cutting my losses as giving up any efforts to change him. I did manage to change hoe he dressed. When we started dating, he used to wear awful shirts and shoes. Now he dresses a bit more fashionably because I am with him when he goes shopping. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:00 AM Flag
»
If you love him, you love him. EVERYONE has faults. You could be with a guy who spends way beyond his means. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:07 AM Flag
»
What about separate bank accounts? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:10 AM Flag
»
Make your own money and spend it any way you like [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:11 AM Flag
»
Most people who are excessively frugal have insecurity about money - either grew up poor or had some kind of scary time of unemployment or lack of funds. the best you can hope for it to see a counselor about it and maybe a financial planner and come to a realistic compromise. One where you agree to save a certain amount of money every year but then also agree to plan for certain expenses that are important to you. FWIW, my frugal immigrant parents would never have dreamed of eating breakfast out - my mom was incredulous that the secretaries at her office who were always complaining about lack of funds would get their coffee and bagel/muffin from the "coffee cart" every day. she would go on and on about how inexpensive it was to make your own coffee at home and that they even had a coffee maker in the office but they were too lazy to make it and how much money they would save if they didn't spend that $2 every day. My parents now have a NW over $12M and while they are less frugal for them, they are still very frugal - my mom will meet someone out for coffee or go to a nice restaurant with friends, but she would never buy coffee or a beverage on the go or get lunch out as a convenience. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:14 AM Flag
»
Can you easily afford pricey restaurants and European vacations? How much savings do you have? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:33 AM Flag
»
You're not going to change him. You need to compromise. Maybe eat at a pricey restaurant that has a very reasonable prix fixe lunch or 1/2 price happy hour. Instead of an expensive European vacation, take a trip somewhere that is a lot less expensive (Europe really is expensive--especially hotels). I am the frugal one in our family. When DH married me, he was shocked to learn how much money I had socked away. I, on the other hand, was not too pleased with DH's taste for luxury. He has learned to compromise. Find a way to do nice things for a lot less money. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:49 AM Flag
[ - ] My UB ads are in Spanish. Anyone else? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:16 AM Flag
»
no [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:23 AM Flag
»
sometimes [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:21 AM Flag
»
No ads. I have Ad Blocker turned on. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 03:28 AM Flag
»
no ads [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.19.13, 04:12 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions