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05.18.13, 07:10 PM
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sucks - I have 3
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05.18.13, 07:11 PM
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It's not fun
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05.18.13, 07:06 PM
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Like a ball and chain around my neck, squeezing the very life out of me. There.
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05.18.13, 07:06 PM
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I was middle class, then very rich, then very poor. I can tell you that the worry over food, medical care and even basic phone service (no smart phones -- just a basic!) gnaw away at you and can make it hard to smile. But smile you must, because this is your one and only chance at life. Rich is MUCH easier, and when I hear my rich friends (those who haven't slowly abandoned me!) complain about how hard it is to maintain multiple homes, juggle their kids tutors and get dresses fitted for parties I just want to cringe. It is really, really hard to worry all the time about simple survival. That's my two cents!
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05.18.13, 07:16 PM
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Count your lucky stars that you've never had to worry how to buy food or how to get $10 to stretch for a week
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05.18.13, 07:13 PM
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op- I know.
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05.18.13, 07:16 PM
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You have GOT to be kidding. Poor people don't have a mortgage, they live month to month in a horrible apartment. Middle class people have mortgage, you have to have a decent job and good credit to get a mortgage, Mitt.
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05.18.13, 07:13 PM
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op. MC still poor in my book. We can buy a 1mm condo right now without a mortgage.
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05.18.13, 07:15 PM
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It depends on the person. DH and I have bills and a mortgage but we aren't too preoccupied by it. Not that we're better than other people, we just happen to have other interests that take up our time and our conversations.
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05.18.13, 07:15 PM
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05.18.13, 06:51 PM
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hmm, neighbor or neighborhood problems? school problems? Sorry you are having a tough time, sending you and internet hug and glass of wine.
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05.18.13, 06:54 PM
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It is too stressful for us.
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05.18.13, 07:01 PM
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np: I'm sorry - I hope you find a way to move somewhere easier.
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05.18.13, 07:09 PM
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Why can't you count them? Too many?
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05.18.13, 06:48 PM
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Yes. At least another 2 years.
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05.18.13, 07:01 PM
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Can you change something to make the next few years less of a drag? New routines, more time in the Park, something?
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05.18.13, 07:05 PM
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I am trying.
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05.18.13, 07:12 PM
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Studies show that if you can get into a park/woods/somewhere green it significantly lowers blood pressure. Take some time to go for a walk. It helps, it really does.
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05.18.13, 07:15 PM
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Buh-bye
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05.18.13, 06:54 PM
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See ya! Don't let the door hit you on the way out
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05.18.13, 06:49 PM
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I'm glad you're leaving...don't want anyone here who doesn't want to be here
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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I hear you. I don't hate NYC, but life outside is much more comfortable. We go back into the city as a family once or twice a month. It's much more relaxing not to be in the hustle and bustle every single day. It's a heck of an adjustment on the beginning though. I won't lie about that.
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05.18.13, 06:51 PM
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Where do you live? Why do you hate it? Where are you going?
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05.18.13, 06:57 PM
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Chelsea, to much stress, not sure yet, maybe abroad.
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05.18.13, 07:11 PM
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Bike along the Hudson. Get some air.
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05.18.13, 07:16 PM
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please do! it's too expensive to stay if you don't love it.
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05.18.13, 07:01 PM
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05.18.13, 06:50 PM
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Can you link to the study?
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05.18.13, 06:50 PM
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I found going from none to 1 more of a life change...I have three kids and once I had the hang of things with my first, adding another dc wasn't hard at all BUT I also didn't have two in diapers at the same time. The age difference of 4 yrs made it easy
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05.18.13, 07:02 PM
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You can do a study and find just about anything you want. 1 > 2 isn't bad and neither is 2 >3. Get the older kids involved in the new baby and try to carve out one-on-one time for each child every day - even if it's just a book, brushing their hair, walking the dog.. some small chunk of the day to give them your attention.
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05.18.13, 07:07 PM
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The easiest is to go from 5 kids to 6 kids. Wait and you will see, piece of cake.
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05.18.13, 07:12 PM
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OP-oh um no that won't be happening!
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05.18.13, 07:10 PM
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05.18.13, 06:47 PM
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City Restaurant
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05.18.13, 06:50 PM
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oops sorry meant City Winery
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05.18.13, 07:03 PM
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yeah not quite "fine dining" either
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05.18.13, 07:03 PM
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I like Nougatine. Not very new. Wylie Dufresne has a new restaurant, Adler, I'd like to try, food sounds delish, but probably not "fine dining." And no reservations.
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05.18.13, 07:02 PM
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Tocqueville
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05.18.13, 07:04 PM
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Delancey & Ludlow but def not "fine" dining but supposed to be good and very fun.
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05.18.13, 06:59 PM
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Have you been to Ko? Eleven Madison Park is always amazing too. If that interests you, but you want something newer what about NoMad?
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05.18.13, 07:15 PM
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05.18.13, 06:41 PM
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If I want to point to a state where "rightist, non-union" policies are "working", all I have to do is look at nearly all the middle eastern countries except Israel (which has MANY unions, so OP must hate that country) or Latin America. Or hey, remember when the US didn't have unions, and all those poor girls died in the Triangle Waist Co. Fire! I guess OP thinks things were far better then.
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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In the 1950s, when the US economy was booming, 35% of the Americans workers were in unions. Today, it is 7%. But of course, our economy is so much better today, according to OP. Better that the 1% have most of the wealth.
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05.18.13, 06:57 PM
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ITA! The reason why so many cities are in ruins or have high crime is because of leftist policies and their democratic mayors.
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05.18.13, 06:53 PM
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05.18.13, 06:29 PM
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I'd the surgery postponable?
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05.18.13, 06:27 PM
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He would die
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05.18.13, 06:29 PM
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OP: That is not me above but it is not postponable. It is important for him to do it now or he will have to wait another month which will cause the disease to progress and its already fairly far along
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05.18.13, 06:37 PM
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I posted below about contacting one of the mom's close friends, but then I re-read your OP. You need to tell the mom what is going on with sibling #2. If you explain it in terms of this surgery is being done now so he does not have what #1 has, it isn't as scary. I would want to know.
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05.18.13, 07:07 PM
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is the funeral postponable?
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05.18.13, 06:30 PM
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I'm very sorry for your loss. It's a terrible situation. I hope that all goes well and that you can find peace. *hugs*
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05.18.13, 06:36 PM
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Thanks. I just feel so terrible about the whole situation. The timing couldn't have been worse. We can't postpone the funeral because sibling #2 can't travel for 2 weeks after the surgery.
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05.18.13, 06:39 PM
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OR below: could you have a separate memorial service in a few weeks?
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05.18.13, 06:35 PM
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+1
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05.18.13, 06:44 PM
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Does sibling #2 know any of his mom's close friends? If it were me, I would call one or two of them and explain the situation and make sure they were there for my mom if I absolutely could not be. Or another relative.
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05.18.13, 06:40 PM
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This is a wonderful idea! I second it - she needs as much support as possible right now.
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05.18.13, 06:44 PM
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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Sigh. Let's not go there. Sahm
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05.18.13, 06:32 PM
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Why greedy? I am often exhausted and daydream about staying home with dd. but I enjoy feeling like I am making a financial contribution to the household. Greedy if it means going to Europe over a local trip, but I like to think the extra money I earn goes a long way for her. Plus being a role model. Plus I spent so long in school and sacrificed so much to be where I am. I want to use my degrees dang it! They cost a lot of blood sweat toil and tears not to mention $$$. Everyone is so darn defensive. No choice is all good or all bad
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05.18.13, 06:27 PM
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You had a choice, and you choose money and professional fulfillment above your kid well-being.
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05.18.13, 06:29 PM
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Who are you?? Since I left corporate, I get less exercise and virtually no "me" time for the mind and bod. Not complaining, I really like it, but the focus is definitely not on moi.
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05.18.13, 06:34 PM
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Where does it say life expectancy is longer?
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05.18.13, 06:35 PM
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OP's head.
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05.18.13, 06:31 PM
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OP has a head?
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05.18.13, 06:40 PM
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Sorry you're right. It was a figure of speech.
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05.18.13, 06:49 PM
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Oh Jesus, this shit again?
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05.18.13, 06:31 PM
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ugh i know. it's so tiresome and annoying and just stupid already. i honestly don't sit around thinking about this shit. i have friends who work, who stay at home, who work part time, who work part time at home, who don't work at all (minus all the intense work they do at home with their kids and families of course) and each one is amazing and different in her own way. stop with the bs stereotyping. all choices are good and what works for each is the best choice. end of story already! ANNOYING!
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05.18.13, 07:02 PM
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You should probably be able to compose a post without a run-on sentence and with better usage of commas before telling others you have more brains than them.
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05.18.13, 06:32 PM
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What's greedy about paying the bills? Please, stop the stupidity. Both sides have their place in our society.
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05.18.13, 06:32 PM
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I got a better DH than you, that just alone makes me superior.
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05.18.13, 06:40 PM
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I'm a writer, and my kids are grown. What does that have to do with your DH, or mine? There are a lot of mothers who need to work outside the home to pay their bills. Those of us who don't are lucky, not clever or superior.
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05.18.13, 06:47 PM
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Clearly that doesn't hold true for you. Intelligent women respect others and their choices. Insecure losers who never learned to love themselves put down the choices and circumstances of others. Signed WOHM with a happy, healthy family and not a greedy bone in my body.
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05.18.13, 06:38 PM
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You're living proof of one idiot sahm. Signed, sahm.
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05.18.13, 06:43 PM
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I am sorry darling your are a poor sahm.
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05.18.13, 06:52 PM
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Poor? Keep confirming your lack of intelligence, go ahead.
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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I know you are poor.
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05.18.13, 07:09 PM
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I feel sorry for you.
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05.18.13, 06:55 PM
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Lots of women work and love their jobs. Work challenges people, keeps them smart and focued on the world outside, instead of themselves. Also, the impact of many professions affect more people than a person's immediate family. Good work brings purpose to a person's life and can be deeply satisfying. I am a teacher and I hear so many children voice how proud they are of their accomplished, intelligent working mothers. Please do not be so judgmental.
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05.18.13, 07:08 PM
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05.18.13, 06:18 PM
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Almost 3yo would love 3rd Street Playground. The tot lot is for kids who are still learning how to walk. The zoo is kind of a hike (20-25 minutes) but it's fun. There's not really anything to do at the boathouse, although it is pretty. If you are driving and your DC still has the energy for something, the children's museum is really, really fun.
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05.18.13, 06:23 PM
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Is it better than the one in Manhattan? B/c we just did that one earlier this week and it kind of sucked.
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05.18.13, 06:27 PM
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Never been to the one in Manhattan, but other than "crowded" I've never heard anyone say a bad word about the BK one. Lots to do, lots of square footage to run around in, a few animals, stuff to play with... good for all ages IMO.
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05.18.13, 06:36 PM
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Really? Maybe you only did the petting zoo half?
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05.18.13, 06:52 PM
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^^^Wait, I see you mean museum not zoo. That makes a lot more sense!
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05.18.13, 07:01 PM
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Re: boathouse - I read somewhere that there is a boat you can take a ride on; true?
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05.18.13, 06:28 PM
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Uh... something else just occurred to me. The "Great GoogaMooga" is going on in the Nethermead in Prospect Park this weekend. You may want to avoid boathouse/zoo area, the fastest way there is along the Nethermead and there will be a gazillion drunk hipsters around. If you want to do the park, I'd stay on the PPW side. I have no idea about the boat rides, sorry.
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05.18.13, 06:44 PM
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Jeez, doesn't anyone go to Church anymore. Sunday morning parties are not fun. Hello, family time?
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05.18.13, 06:43 PM
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NP: I'm with you on this one.
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05.18.13, 06:52 PM
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I know. So many of my mom friends have get togethers and parties on Sunday mornings. I feel of saying this is our family time, plus we go to Church.
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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Feel odd
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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Jeez here. Nope, not enough of you!
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05.18.13, 07:03 PM
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Huh?
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05.18.13, 07:00 PM
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(NP was making a play on Jeez--it being a way to say Jesus without actually saying Jesus, and pretending to be Jesus, or Jeez as he is known to his friends.)
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05.18.13, 07:04 PM
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np - thanks for the assist!
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05.18.13, 07:15 PM
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A little narrow-minded of you, don't you think? We are observant Jews as are the parents/birthday boy. So we have our date with G-d on Saturday morning.
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05.18.13, 07:08 PM
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No, because NP knows that Jews don't go to church on a Sunday!
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05.18.13, 07:13 PM
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05.18.13, 06:18 PM
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Some schools have this policy. If not, you can do whatever.
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05.18.13, 06:26 PM
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What happens if the school finds out? Can you honestly be disciplined over this?
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05.18.13, 06:27 PM
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No, they are not - they are not kicked out - this is crazy.
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05.18.13, 06:25 PM
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It's a stupid rule to try to break. Plus you're putting all the other parents and children who are invited in a bad position once they figure out it was a secret and exclusive thing. If this is important to you, find out on school tours whether exclusive parties are allowed. No use fighting with a school about its policies.
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05.18.13, 06:30 PM
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np @@ yea - in choosing a school birthday party is high on my list.
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05.18.13, 06:26 PM
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I don't think it would be for many but OP seems ready for a tumble with the administration.
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05.18.13, 06:38 PM
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I wouldn't care if my dd was invited to a party that was "exclusive." Excellent opportunity to teach her to be gracious and not brag.
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05.18.13, 06:32 PM
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OP - I don't care if it's the school policy and I wouldn't purposely try to break it if my kids' school did have a policy on this. I'm just saying, I think it's getting ridiculous.
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05.18.13, 06:33 PM
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soon enough these moms will be thrilled not to have to go to another freakin birthday party!
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05.18.13, 06:28 PM
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Invite him, and then call the mother and explain that you really really don't want the kid there because he is a bully, but you won't want him to feel left out.
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05.18.13, 06:23 PM
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I'm with you.
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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This is a good policy for preschool and K. After that, I don't think it matters much. If you think there are 'bullies' in PK and K - you have major issues. It's always OK to do something very small, all girls, all boys, or the full class. Everyone doesn't show. Excluding one or two children is just cruel.
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05.18.13, 06:43 PM
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05.18.13, 06:15 PM
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I'm glad you clarified it was a work out of the home kind of thing. For a moment there, I thought you were selling sex toys from your living room.
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05.18.13, 06:18 PM
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lol
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05.18.13, 06:25 PM
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Do you laugh at what people buy behind their backs?
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05.18.13, 06:25 PM
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op, No I don't, I think sex toys and books help a lot. I have seen weird things though.
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05.18.13, 06:37 PM
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Do you sell torsos?
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05.18.13, 06:26 PM
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if i came in and bought stuff, would you judge me / laugh?
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05.18.13, 06:30 PM
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op. Not at all.
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05.18.13, 06:37 PM
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Yes, OP is going to mock the very people who are essentially paying her salary...why the fuck would she do that?
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05.18.13, 06:32 PM
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Do you sell the animal-penis dildos that the mom whose kid had an online affair talked about? It's the train-wreck image I can't get out of my head.
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05.18.13, 06:34 PM
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LOL the mom of the teenage furry from way back?! That was funny. Do tell, OP are these real?
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05.18.13, 06:36 PM
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They are real,
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05.18.13, 06:43 PM
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op. This ? http://www.zoofur.com/equine-toys/ No I don't carry that kind.
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05.18.13, 06:42 PM
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What item that you didn't expect to be a blockbuster do you sell a lot of?
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05.18.13, 06:42 PM
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Fascinating! Looks very sweaty.
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05.18.13, 06:51 PM
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Wow. That certainly would be a surprise hit.
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05.18.13, 06:46 PM
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Maybe you should get the animal dildos and sell them as strap-ons to go with this. :P
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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op. Trust me, I don't carry them yet, but they are a hit in the online market.
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05.18.13, 06:58 PM
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What % of your customers are women? What are the age ranges? Do men and women tend to frequent your shop at different times?
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05.18.13, 06:46 PM
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What percent of people buy things for personal use? For use with a partner? For gag gifts/ bachelorette parties?
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05.18.13, 06:47 PM
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Do you and your employees ever get harassed by the costumers? Is the answer different for male/female workers?
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05.18.13, 07:03 PM
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05.18.13, 06:14 PM
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Or maybe they really are taking nice vacations and are happy to talk about them. It's not about you, I promise you.
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05.18.13, 06:21 PM
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I know for a fact that my hairdresser has never been to cape cod, which is a place we go each summer. And she tells stories about the house she used to own there growing up and says that it sounds like her house was a lot nicer the the ones we rent. Also insists that she owns a nicer apartment in brooklyn heights than the one we have also in brooklyn but she lives in Brownsville. I don't think I am making it about me. Bunk wonder if I am doing something to bring this out.
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05.18.13, 06:18 PM
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So make the conversation all about her and lay the compliments on thick.
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05.18.13, 06:27 PM
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How do you know this much about your hairdresser? I have no idea about what real estate my hairdresser's family may or may not have owned 20 or 30 years ago.
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05.18.13, 06:22 PM
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Cuz she tells me. She comes over to help me get my hair done for a weekend trip for example. I tell her where we are going. And then she tells me about he much more interesting places she has been.
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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So oh and ah and make her feel good.
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05.18.13, 06:34 PM
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I was with you until I saw your hairdresser does this to, It must be you.
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05.18.13, 06:16 PM
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It probably is, right? I think my mistake is I talk about what we are up to and that probably makes them feel competitive. Better to make small talk about other things
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05.18.13, 06:20 PM
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Sad but true, but my nanny takes better vacations than we do. When we are with Grandparents, she is some place in Asia, not joking.
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05.18.13, 06:23 PM
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Um, why is this sad? Your nanny should be locked in your basement while you're on vacation?
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05.18.13, 06:20 PM
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Well, we make at last 10X times what she makes, and our vacations are at Grandparents and ILs.
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05.18.13, 06:39 PM
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Ohhhh, so she SHOULD be locked in your basement! WTF?? Why are you so judgy? Worry about your own annoying self.
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05.18.13, 06:43 PM
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Are you super well-dressed?
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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No and that is part of it I think. We live frugally and don't splurge on a lot so maybe it's a she isn't better than me I should let her know kind of a thing? It's not like when I talk to friends about upcoming trips, clothes, etc. it really is strangely aggressive. The bigger question is WHY would I post here about it? Maybe just curious to see if other people's nannies etc get competitive with them
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05.18.13, 06:22 PM
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not everyone cares about you, seriously?
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05.18.13, 06:25 PM
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Maybe you talk incessantly about your vacations and clothes, and people around you need to say something to drown it all out.
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05.18.13, 06:20 PM
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My hairdresser goes on amazing vacations. We always talk about where we've been and what we've done, and she always trumps me. I like it, though - I get to live vicariously through her. It's just her life, and she has a blast. Love her.
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05.18.13, 06:52 PM
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05.18.13, 06:12 PM
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Children Behavior
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05.18.13, 06:08 PM
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Propper grammer
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05.18.13, 06:09 PM
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Love you.
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05.18.13, 06:15 PM
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POLITICS!
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05.18.13, 06:09 PM
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You are anexpert in politics? Suuurrreee
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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I work with politicians. DC.
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05.18.13, 06:27 PM
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How do you like that? What type of role do you have ?
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05.18.13, 06:30 PM
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Living within your means.
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05.18.13, 06:11 PM
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Me too! I'm not cheap nor do I go without either.
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05.18.13, 06:35 PM
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Me three. But then, many people would probably say I'm boring.
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05.18.13, 07:04 PM
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I think this is very hard to do. Kudos to you
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05.18.13, 06:53 PM
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haha! me too!
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05.18.13, 06:57 PM
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Anal.
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05.18.13, 06:14 PM
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butt secks?
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05.18.13, 06:26 PM
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social skills
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05.18.13, 06:20 PM
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lol.
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05.18.13, 06:21 PM
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nyc private school admissions and financial aid.
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05.18.13, 06:21 PM
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Are you in the school's administration ?
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05.18.13, 06:31 PM
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yes, now @ day school, formerly at boarding.
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05.18.13, 06:33 PM
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Dalton
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05.18.13, 06:28 PM
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So what's the story about these new Parkhurst class offerings in the high school? Why are they introducing them? What type of student do they have in mind for those bio , math, etc classes?
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05.18.13, 06:53 PM
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Mental health
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05.18.13, 06:28 PM
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Prejudice
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05.18.13, 06:33 PM
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Nutrition.
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05.18.13, 06:35 PM
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Coconut oil? Good for you ? What if you need to keep cholesterol low?
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05.18.13, 06:39 PM
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hmm...what it's like to grow up LMC, a minority, attend public schools in NYC but ultimately succeed :)
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05.18.13, 06:38 PM
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Medical research, specifically cancer; also life in other countries/cultures
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05.18.13, 06:42 PM
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What can you do if you are hpv positive, and have been for years, for cervical cancer? is semiannual testing enough?
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05.18.13, 07:00 PM
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Cervical cancer grows relatively slowly and has symptoms: bleeding and discharge. If you're getting regular pap smears, abnormal cells should be caught. You definitely want to be sure that your gyno knows all about your history, and be retested if you have any unusual bleeding. Be aggressive in being your own advocate. If retesting is discouraged because it's only been 3 months since your last pap, insist. Change doctors if necessary. This is my best advice. Please note that I'm not a medical practitioner, and my research doesn't involve human patients. My field is primarily genetic cancer research for big pharma.
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05.18.13, 07:06 PM
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How life sucks
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05.18.13, 06:58 PM
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NYC private schools and top boarding schools.
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05.18.13, 06:52 PM
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College Admissions
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05.18.13, 06:55 PM
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Is it obvious when applicants pad their resumes and exaggerate their extracurriculars? I'm so disgusted with a friend of mine who was rejected from HBS first year and then padded and reapplied 2nd time and got in.
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05.18.13, 07:01 PM
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Immigration, eligibility for social welfare programs, 80 ways to cook beans and rice...other things poor people have to know
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05.18.13, 07:05 PM
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The Affordable Care Act
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05.18.13, 07:01 PM
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Wall Street sales and trading
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05.18.13, 07:02 PM
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Grammar and stylistics, but I don't correct other people's grammar unless they ask. My dissertation subject, which, strangely, never comes up on UB ... or anywhere else.
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05.18.13, 07:09 PM
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baking cupcakes!
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05.18.13, 07:05 PM
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05.18.13, 06:09 PM
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Is it humid out? NYC.
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05.18.13, 06:10 PM
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Lol
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05.18.13, 06:17 PM
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OK, I'll bite. What goes through your head when you post something like this? Not snarking, serious question.
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05.18.13, 06:06 PM
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She just want to validate her awesome decision.
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05.18.13, 06:09 PM
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I think, "Maybe these women will learn from and soak up some of my awesomeness."
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05.18.13, 06:23 PM
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She revels in being envied.
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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OR--OP? Could you answer?
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05.18.13, 06:20 PM
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How many kids?
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05.18.13, 06:12 PM
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How bored are you?
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05.18.13, 06:14 PM
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Good for you. Help someone
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05.18.13, 06:14 PM
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What do you do with all your free time?
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05.18.13, 06:16 PM
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Are you living the dream because you have someone to raise your kids and clean your shit for you ? I see. What do you do in your free time besides watching tv ?
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05.18.13, 06:11 PM
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What kind of life would you like for your DD?
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05.18.13, 06:12 PM
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Same as mine.
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05.18.13, 06:24 PM
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If you really have the brains, you won't have to work a single day in your life. Working and killing yourself in the process is overrated.
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05.18.13, 06:25 PM
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Well if this was your dream, good for you. Definitely wouldn't be mine. Signed HHI 2.3mm WOHM.
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05.18.13, 06:18 PM
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No. But love the sarcasm.
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05.18.13, 06:22 PM
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Me, too, except for the nanny and the cleaners come only once a week.
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05.18.13, 06:29 PM
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That was the mom next door when I was growing up. They got divorced, 5 years later I saw her working at Bloomies.
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05.18.13, 06:56 PM
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Are your kids in a TT school?
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05.18.13, 06:53 PM
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Raise the bar, sweetie.
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05.18.13, 06:59 PM
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