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[ - ] We visit DHs parents about 1x a year (they come to us more often), his sister (single, no kids) also comes to visit their parents at the same time. She lives about 4 hours away, we are in a different region. I kind of wish we could just be there with the kids alone. What are your thoughts of this scenario? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:51 AM Flag
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Aww that's sad - why don't you want to see SIL? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:53 AM Flag
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what is the matter with the sister? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:42 AM Flag
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For the most part tolerable, though she can't really maintain relationships (friends/men) and goes through periods of cutting ties with DH. Part of my concern is I just wish kids could just spend some time with just grandparents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:58 AM Flag
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Then you don't have to visit her separately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:44 AM Flag
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Her parents probably like having the entire family together. Leave it alone...it's not a "scenario". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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you suck! she wants to see your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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I sense someone's not getting enough attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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OP- Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:59 AM Flag
[ - ] Why do Americans eat so little seafood compared to other rich countries? According to this news article from last year, "the average American ate 14.4 pounds of seafood in 2012, a 4 percent drop from the 2011 figure of 15.0 pounds." That's very low compared to Europe or Japan; the average Spaniard ate 58.4lbs of fish in 2012. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:50 AM Flag
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Mercury fears and contamination from oil spills and radiation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:41 AM Flag
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This. I love seafood but don't eat a lot due to all of the talk of mercury etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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most of America isn't surrounded by ocean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:43 AM Flag
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We eat more beef. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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A lot of Spain is very close to an ocean or water body. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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Dumb middle American fat people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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Its expensive, particularly shrimp. DH used to buy frozen shrimp at the supermarket every week and now we only buy once a month since it costs almost $20 a lb for the extra large shrimp we love to eat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Let me try again for the evening crowd. Does anyone know how long it takes to get temporary spousal support in NYC? Yes, I know you can file when you go for divorce. Yes, I know not everyone gets alimony. Is it 3 months? More? Less? thanks 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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44 hours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:42 AM Flag
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That doesnt sound right to me. Are you trying to be mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:57 AM Flag
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OMG stop it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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J O B [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:46 AM Flag
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I have one, it just doesnt pay much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:49 AM Flag
[ - ] When did college admissions start getting more competitive? Like was it noticeably harder to get into HYP undergrad in 1989 as opposed to 1980, or was that more of a 90's trend? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:42 AM Flag
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rise of the UMC Jews whose parents were denied entry to the Ivies pre-1970s (I say as one). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:33 AM Flag
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adding to say coupled with the rise of Asian immigrants (far more numerous) trying to follow the same pathway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:34 AM Flag
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More students, not many more spots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:34 AM Flag
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Ivies have barely increased in class size, especially when accounting for the fact that they are now co-ed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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Up until 1945, Harvard viewed its mission as the training of wealthy old money WASPS. As such, if you were a wealthy WASP it was very easy to get in and if you were not, it was hard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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In the decades immediately after 1945 Harvard reformed its admissions policies as it sought students from a more diverse applicant pool. Whereas Harvard undergraduates had almost exclusively been upper-class alumni of select New England "feeder schools" such as Exeter, Hotchkiss, Choate Rosemary Hall and Milton Academy, increasing numbers of international, minority, and working-class students had, by the late 1960s, altered the ethnic and socio-economic makeup of the college.[45] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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The leadership of Harvard abandoned the previous policy of catering to old money WASPS and instead sought to educate the very smartest members of each ethnic and national group. Harvard sought the absolute smartest Latin Americans and admitted them, the absolute smartest five percent of American blacks and admitted them through affirmative action. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:54 AM Flag
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As a result of this quest to accept the absolute smartest children, the number of "old money WASPS" at Harvard fell off a cliff. Today, old money WASPS make up fewer than 15% of the class, while other groups which had not been welcomed at Harvard before 1945 make up 85% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:55 AM Flag
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After WWII, universities were full of veterans who returned from the war on the GI Bill. Huge numbers of veterans took advantage of Uncle Sam's generosity in pursuing an education. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:49 AM Flag
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The poor kids and minorities started getting a shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:59 AM Flag
[ - ] Help me flirt. I've had my eyes on a man. Learned his name today. What's next? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:35 AM Flag
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Your job is done. Tag. He's it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:37 AM Flag
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we have a semi-professional relationship though, so I need to give him a green light. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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Handjob [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:49 AM Flag
[ - ] My mom is 74. She owns a home in a neighborhood that has gotten too ghetto and has lost a lot of its value. At her age where do I help her settle? It seems like senior options are a lot of assisted living type places. I'm just looking for a nice small ground level condo -- seems hard to find. (not NYC) 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:24 AM Flag
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Some senior complexes have levels of care. Apartment, then some help, the assisted living, then nursing care. A senior care manager may be able to advise you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:30 AM Flag
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Somewhere close? It is really important for seniors to not lose their social circle and ability to get to and do activities. I've heard horror stories about assisted living so I wouldn't recommend that. Get a housecleaner and maybe someone to cook meals once a week if she needs any help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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Also, is she concerned about the neighborhood? If not I would leave her there because it is really upsetting to lose your home at that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:35 AM Flag
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Westchester county has some senior housing that is not bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:33 AM Flag
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np. how much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:43 AM Flag
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Nnp look at hartsdale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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thank you. Will do. Want to move my mom up from Philadelphia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:37 AM Flag
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My mom is moving to Hartsdale. Great coops by the station, nice people. Awful schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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Are you in Westchester? Some White Plains apts are nice. The big thing I learned is that transportation is key.. is she still driving? How long will that be possible? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Criminal Minds creeps me the fuck out. Always scary. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:22 AM Flag
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I've always found it a dumb show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:36 AM Flag
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Yeah it's incredibly flawed but I like it anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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So stop watching it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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I can't. I love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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Me too & I'm sort of in the field!! I wanted to watch on netflix and had to scan through to find one that isn't too scary! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:31 AM Flag
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What's your job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Db is 16 months old and in the last week or has really started tantrums, throwing himself on the floor and crying so hard he can barely breathe. I can't see any pattern as to when, like before/after meals or sleeping, etc. I know it's normal, but I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle it. Everything I'm reading seems to be more for older toddlers who understand more. Would love some ideas from other moms! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:21 AM Flag
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I will get flamed but when my young toddlers tantrum I stay with them, let them know I understand why they are frustrated, and comfort them. But I always stood my ground in terms of setting the limit (what ever it was that caused the tantrum) while showing empathy and love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:35 AM Flag
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NP- why would you get flamed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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Op, did you pick them up or let them work it out while you were there? Sometimes there isn't a particular thing that sets it off, like he will be walking down the hall and then just have a meltdown mid step. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:46 AM Flag
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My dd started this around 18 months, although at 22 months it's much worse. I stay there and try to repeat myself calmly, "no, we putting away the crayons because you colored on the wall". Crying/kicking/screaming....waiting..."I know you're sad but we are putting away the crayons now." Then I suggest an alternate activity (Which she usually cries and says "no" to). Eventually she stops crying and it's all good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:56 AM Flag
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terrible 2s start around this age and last beyond two. redirect, redirect, redirect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:46 AM Flag
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just keep talking to them in a calm voice. don't lose your cool. don't cave though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Black woman- something weird just happened and I don't know what to make of it. I was walking up my back stairs carrying a bag of groceries in one arm, and a watermelon in another. There was a group of white guys standing outside giggling when one of them yells out. "Is that watermelon seedless?" Talk me dowm from going into that bar and going off on them. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:20 AM Flag
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I would rather than the black guys who annoy me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:34 AM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:36 AM Flag
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Sure you would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:48 AM Flag
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Ignore. Karma is a bitch. You dont want to get your hands dirty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:25 AM Flag
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oh my god, I'm sorry this happened to you. do you have the NextDoor app? post it on there and someone will know who they are and might "have a word" with them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:36 AM Flag
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what is this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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a neighborhood forum; you can be anonymous to your neighbors but the site verifies that actually do live in the neighborhood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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a neighborhood forum; you can be anonymous to your neighbors but the site verifies that actually do live in the neighborhood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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I'm sorry I don't get the reference. Is the watermelon a representation of your womb? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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Np- I am not sure of the origin but it is a racist comment. To OP, I am so sorry that you had to hear that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:42 AM Flag
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They were drunk? Don't engage racist drunks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:27 AM Flag
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Now I'm really pissed. I was minding my own business, I gave them no reason to come at me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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Now I'm really pissed. I was minding my own business, I gave them no reason to come at me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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Op. So it was a racist joke? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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I think they thought it was funny that a black person was seen carrying a watermelon, and wanted you to know it. Ugh. Racist and not funny. For people who don't know about the racist watermelon stereotype, you're not the only ones. One of our local grocery store chains partnered with the local football team to put up a billboard on the interstate promoting both the college team and the supermarket. Clueless white people in the ad firm photoshopped into the photo of a football player a watermelon in the hands of the, you guessed it, black football player. It took much longer than it should have for the NAACP to convince the college to take it down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:51 AM Flag
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I really don't understand what is so funny about liking a fruit. That 'insult' is just stupid. - a black mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:44 AM Flag
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Ugh, that sucks. I would ignore and not give them any attention or legitimacy. Sometimes the best revenge is ignoring people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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When I was reading I was hoping it was going to be a dumb Dirty Dancing joke. Sorry this happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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They were talking about your butt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:37 AM Flag
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Ignore them. They're assholes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:37 AM Flag
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I'm calling this the fakest fake that ever faked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:53 AM Flag
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I swear on my dog, father, mother, siblings, and my dh that just happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:43 AM Flag
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I applaud your strength in being able to carry a watermelon under one arm. Maybe you buy tiny watermelons.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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oh, that sucks - whereabouts are you located? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Where can a woman find sex if her DH hasn't has sex with her for years? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:16 AM Flag
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watching this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:06 AM Flag
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Ashley Madison [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:19 AM Flag
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Isn't that gross? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:21 AM Flag
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Also, if DH or anyone else sees the profile/picture? Is that a good idea? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:22 AM Flag
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No profile pics. I got busted this way. Hard w/o a pic better to be safe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:23 AM Flag
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I often wonder how married people hook up on websites. Someone is bound to see your pic and blow your cover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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Coworkers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:10 AM Flag
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Not possible, a small workplace. There was a guy who works at the same floor but different office who asked me out. I didn't think it was a good idea so I declined. He is quite disgruntled now - imagine we had gone out, broke up and he had mentioned something to a co worker of mine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:24 AM Flag
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Thou shall not commit adultery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:12 AM Flag
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#vibrator #blessed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:15 AM Flag
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Isn't that a sin too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:35 AM Flag
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Yes. Using hashtags is a sin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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ILY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:44 AM Flag
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go to a bar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:24 AM Flag
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OP. That's the problem. I look desperate alone in a bar. I don't really have friends that I could do that with because they know my DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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Because its unethical! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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how long has it been for you? its been about 2 years...and as of late it we've had no sex what so ever. im getting so frustrated but i love my husband [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:40 AM Flag
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We had sex once in the last 5 years. I am 34. This is not right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:48 AM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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Hi Satan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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Hi, honey [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:45 AM Flag
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Anywhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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I am in the same boat. It's been 10 months and before that it was 1.5 year. What a horrible way to live. I am so angry with myself for staying, angry at him for having this power over me, scared to cheat for all the obvious reasons, I feel trapped, frankly --I need a hobby... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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Why do you think he refuses to have sex with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 01:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Burning Man is so low class 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:15 AM Flag
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Duh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:15 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:11 AM Flag
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People who go to burning man really do not care what you think. But judging people isn't very classy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:06 AM Flag
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You sound like your friends all went and didn't invite you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:10 AM Flag
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Oh yes I certainly hang around people who go to Burning Man! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:11 AM Flag
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Don't knock it til you try it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:31 AM Flag
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It's not about high class or low class. You obviously know nothing about it, you ridiculous striver. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:21 AM Flag
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OK, pot smoking mom! You're right! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:39 AM Flag
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Np. She is right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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My cousins went last year and had a blast. I shudder to even contemplate going! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:33 AM Flag
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A lot of people go to watch the other people who go. Like, "I'm not really here to participate, just to watch." Why?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:26 AM Flag
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they don't want you to know they do drugs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:33 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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Thread didn't work out the way you expected huh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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when my ex went, we broke up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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The day me and my ex broke up, we had pizza. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Would you care if DS referred to one of his female classmates as "a Jewess"? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:07 AM Flag
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Has he been reading Shakespeare? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:10 AM Flag
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That he's playing with language and race/class issues in a way that he thinks is original and sophisticated, but has been done. And that he'll get over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:24 AM Flag
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I like this answer even though the OP is stupid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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I'd care that my ds appears to be a douche. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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yep, he's Harvard final club bound. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:27 AM Flag
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Yes, I would correct him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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Yes she is just a regular jew. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:25 AM Flag
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How old is DS? Are you Jewish? Do you have a lot of friends who are Jews? Does he have a lot of friends who are Jews? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:33 AM Flag
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Np - Why does any of this matter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:50 AM Flag
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np: of course it matters how old the kid is. if 4 it's very weird, needs to be corrected but not malicious. if he's 15 then he's a little snot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I was sitting in living room and DS could not find the TV remote. DH and I were just looking and straightening up. I sat down and picked up my laptop, and DH said "so you decided to stop looking?" Another example of this type of aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior: DH returned from a business trip after having been away for 3 nights during the week. He got home before I returned from work that evening, and as soon as I walked in, he started yelling at me for not making anything with the eggplant I asked him to buy the weekend before, and now he was furiously sauteeing and cooking it. He's a stubborn person but I don't know why he's been really mean lately. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.27.14, 11:59 PM Flag
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OP again. He is a good guy, very involved dad. Leads me to wonder if it's him or if it's me who is the a-hole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:01 AM Flag
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I'm just hurt that he didn't thank me for holding down the fort while he was away. Instead, I was greeted with him yelling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:02 AM Flag
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Go hug him. You both sound exhausted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:19 AM Flag
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We are :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:21 AM Flag
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Don't let this escalate. You both were fussy. Model for your DC how you get over stuff and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:25 AM Flag
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My husband would give a rats ass what I did with the eggplant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:15 AM Flag
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I should have given more context. He thinks I buy a bunch of stuff and waste it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:20 AM Flag
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He's being a jerk. Something else is making him upset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:16 AM Flag
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This is what I suspect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:20 AM Flag
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That remote control thing does not sound passive aggressive to me. Your not helping him find it could be interpreted as passive aggressive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:23 AM Flag
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All I did was sit down to look under a pillow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Fucckkkk. Just got off the phone with my brother. I had to tell him that DH and I cannot give them the $$$ they wanted to get their home out of foreclosure. What they wanted was 25% of our cash savings. I think they thought we had a lot more. Even when I told them that it was a quarter of our savings their reaction was still that we had that much cash and still would not help them out. My brother started crying and he told my SIL who started crying in the background. It was about as bad a phone call as you can picture without one or both of them actually opening up a window and jumping out while the line was open. 61 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.27.14, 11:57 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. I think you're right but it must have been hard. Maybe you should have said it was half. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.27.14, 11:58 PM Flag
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OP. Could be. I guess I feel like sticking with the truth because I feel like they're better at catching me in contradictions than I am at remembering my story if I make it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:24 AM Flag
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where is the offer to fund their rental upfront costs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:12 AM Flag
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Why should that be their obligation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:17 AM Flag
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not saying it should- I offered it as a reasonable and politically viable alternative. Saying no without another option is reasonable but politically problematic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:18 AM Flag
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OP. This was actually a suggestion in the thread where I originally posted this dilemma - I believe it was Monday night - and I thought this was a great idea. I even have some things I could sell to give them a lift up - without DH knowing about it. I think that's what this is referring to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:09 AM Flag
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OR- that was my idea! glad you liked it :) You can still offer it with a new phone call after the obligatory cooling off period [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:27 AM Flag
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OR- I just read the "given them money before" comment below. Well, I wouldn't offer them rental upfront costs without something written and true belief you will get it back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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OP. It is a really good idea. Thank you. I have some gold in the back of my mind that I don't really wear anyway. But tonight was just a bad phone call. DH is still at work. He is not much use when it comes to sympathy with this. He's kind of had it with this one brother of mine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:30 AM Flag
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np. Could you possibly get them better paying jobs somewhere? Seriously, do you know someone, and could maybe pull some strings for them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:35 AM Flag
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OR- Good luck to you. Tough situation. Knowing they haven't paid you back before, no disrepute saying, look if you wanted money now you should have paid us back earlier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:43 AM Flag
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THIS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:35 AM Flag
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Can other siblings help them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:39 AM Flag
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I don't blame him. Sorry, they sound like entitled deadbeats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:57 AM Flag
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Bad idea to sell stuff without DH knowing it. WTH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:29 AM Flag
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It's a bad idea regardless. You DH is protecting you from doing something stupid here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:34 AM Flag
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agree. OP should not do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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OP. The conversation didn't get that far. I got the feeling that they didn't even look that far ahead because they were so convinced that we would help them out. Also the low blows started (I always think of myself never anyone else etc.) and then he actually hung up on me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:17 AM Flag
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I wouldn't give that pos anything. How manipulative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:58 AM Flag
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i would give 1/2 or all of my savings to help my family...i guess my family is just different. money isn't everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:13 AM Flag
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I think this poster has given money in the past but nothing ever changed.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:06 AM Flag
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OP. We have given them money before. It has never been paid back and they are not good with their finances. DH put the thumbs down on the whole thing and just said no. Period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:18 AM Flag
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Good for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:13 AM Flag
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ITA. I'd give all of my savings to help my family as well. I don't understand this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:19 AM Flag
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REALLY ?? You would give ALL of your savings to help your family ?? What if there is more than one family member that needs help? Do you live and work to support everyone in your family to the detriment of your own? This doesn't even make sense. If you did this you would be foolish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:23 AM Flag
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Oh please. They don't need a kidney transplant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:13 AM Flag
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+1 Speaking of kidney transplants. My cousin is very stingy with money. Does not lend money to ANYONE in the family. But he did give his mom one of his kidneys... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:34 AM Flag
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Your cousin sounds smarter than everyone on this post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:29 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:59 AM Flag
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He is a character. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:48 AM Flag
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Who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:24 AM Flag
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Not if they're irresponsible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:14 AM Flag
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What happens when you need money for an emergency and don't have ny and none of your family is able/will help. You need to protect your immediate family (husband, children, self) first [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:15 AM Flag
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I would not give up all my savings to help a n'er do well family member, that is ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:25 AM Flag
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Simpleton [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:28 AM Flag
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Sure you would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:59 AM Flag
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It will be money down the drain. In a year the house will be back in foreclosure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:12 AM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:37 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:59 AM Flag
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No one cares about your family. Really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:25 AM Flag
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Her family will not become homeless, they just have to make different choices. If they were dying I think OP would help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:36 AM Flag
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Ok, sucker [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:29 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:47 AM Flag
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It's ok, just try and support them in other ways if they need help with a rental or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:17 AM Flag
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I'm sure this was hard but they are playing you...maybe unconsciously but playing never the less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:07 AM Flag
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This. They'd be back again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:13 AM Flag
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Next time done mention figures. Just say no. All tied up in our retirement. Penalties are too harsh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:23 AM Flag
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Why are they in such bad shape? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:14 AM Flag
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OP. The usual reasons. They bought when the market was booming so paid high; they got a loan really easily; brother had a job in an area that was peaking. 10 years ago basically. Then just (I think I said this in the other thread) the "I'll think about it tomorrow" decisions to buy things they didn't need. Whatever. Brother lost his job and they didn't have savings and they're screwed. But DH says not our job to get them out of being screwed. Also SAHM here !! (Holla sorry to mix topics but I don't have any money of "my own" .. and NO I don't want this to be a spinoff topic - I wouldn't give my brother "my" money either.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:25 AM Flag
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Also SAHM here. I'm a landlord, and i DO have money of "my own". Monthly rental income. I still wouldn't give it. P.S. My mom lives in one of my properties, and doesn't pay rent, so I think I've done my fair share. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:40 AM Flag
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That is very generous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 01:01 AM Flag
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Put the blame on DH then! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:44 AM Flag
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LOL This is what I would do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:52 AM Flag
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I think you were right to do this. If this was freak instances where they hit hard times due to illness or losing a job I would think differently. But from what I understand this isn't the first time. And they can't manage money. It would be the last you would see of this money and they would be in the same boat again soon. You can't let them guilt you in to doing something stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:30 AM Flag
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So, what's their story? Bought a house they couldn't afford? Crazy spenders in other areas? Layoff? Disability? Your brother has nerve contacting you and putting you in this situation. Let him go to a hard money lender. If he really intends to pay back the money, let him pay the lender. He won't pay the lender back and will lose the house, but you knew that already. Do not lend him money if you ever expect to see it again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:32 AM Flag
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Hard line but I agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:26 AM Flag
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Good for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:30 AM Flag
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Don't feel bad. Your brother is happy to put you in the precarious position he is in. If he takes a large cut of your savings, what happens if you and your family hit hard times? That's the whole point of savings, he needs to learn this and not just think someone who has planned financially well will just stump up the cash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:33 AM Flag
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Out of interest. How are they so sure you have the money and can afford to give it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:38 AM Flag
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OP, i think a lot of posters here are harsh. You sound like a very good sister. This is a hard decision, but sounds like you made the right one. Unfortunately, there are no magic fairies here. Try to work with them to figure out a viable plan forward. A friend found herself in similar situation w/her parents. But they refused to confront reality, kept dreaming that some knight would save them. Alas, when their son arrived as a knight, they basically spat at him and rejected his offer as insufficient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Just went to visit my sister and her dc's for 8 days and took my 2 dc's but DH wasn't able to come. We haven't been in a great place. Thing is I didn't miss him. At all. Only really checked in when kids wanted to say hello. How bad is this? Now that I'm home I realize how much anger I have towards him but I'm not sure where it's coming from. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.27.14, 11:57 PM Flag
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Op: he is a good guy. A great Dad. Works hard. I work too. I'm just feeling over it. I can't articulate it. I feel so angry but I don't know specifically what at. I know we have a pretty good life and I sound like a brat but I just feel like "is this all there is?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:11 AM Flag
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You are blaming your DH for your inability to accept your life with gratitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know? I want to go to Urgent care, but the first one I looked at does not take my insurance. My plan doesn't tell me where to go. Sigh. I have metro plus. On hold with my regular doctor 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.27.14, 11:48 PM Flag
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Doesn't CityMD take most plans? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.27.14, 11:50 PM Flag
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didn't list it. I will call them next [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:03 AM Flag
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My insurance company looked it up in their database when I called and gave me a few locations while I was on vacation in another state. If you don't go to a covered site you pay considerably more. I was able to look it up myself when I logged in to my insurance site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.14, 12:59 AM Flag
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