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[ - ] I cannot relate to the posts about picky eating. I feel like I am on another planet entirely. My 8 yo DS is 55 inches and 93 pounds, 6 yo DS is 50 inches and 66 pounds, 3 yo DD is 45 inches and 52 pounds. Crazy. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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Tall but fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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not fat at all. athletic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Right... That's the new euphemism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:42 AM Flag
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uh no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:43 AM Flag
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Wow are you and DH tall [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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I am 5'5" but have tall people in my family. DH is 6'3". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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My oldest has always been extremely thin (bmi in the 1st percentile) despite loving food as much as any child I've ever known. He collects cookbooks, he reads food magazines, he enjoys going to food shops and trying new foods. I've asked doctors if we should be giving him cream instead of milk, taking him to McDonalds, etc and she said it's just genetic - it'll probably catch up with him eventually, but for now, this is his genetic destiny. So it's not as simple as picky eaters are thin and big eaters are heavy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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Does he eat a lot? I would test him for absorption issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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He does eat a lot and he's very healthy. Dh and I are both lean and when DH was young he was super skinny. Before MIL hit 40 she used to see doctors to try to figure out how she could gain weight - she was under 100 lbs and average height. It's not unhealthy to be small, it's just in the genes - SOMEONE has to be in the 1st percentile! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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Oh that makes sense then. My whole family is 90th percentile for weight/height so if one of my kids was 1st percentile I would worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:53 AM Flag
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He's a foodie! They're always thin. Only the very best caviahhh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:49 AM Flag
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they're giants! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
[ - ] S/O of the anxiety post. (I'm poster below who no longer takes Xanax because it's so addictive). I have found my anxiety has been so bad the past few years, I can't even focus long enough to read a book. As in, I have not read a single book in 3-4 years because it's too difficult to focus. Does this make sense? I think I need to go back to my therapist. Ugh. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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Uh, yes you do. That sounds awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:54 AM Flag
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I'm you. Antidepressants help. Also therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:57 AM Flag
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Do you feel a need to re-read and/or have a fear you're not comprehending what you're reading (anxiety/OCD ish)? Is your kind wandering to other things you're worried about (anxiety)? Or it is it that you feel like you can't muster the mental effort /concentration (depression)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 04:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Is 2.75 years a good age gap? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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Sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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I think 2.85 is a better idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:57 AM Flag
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2.749999 better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] DS attends a co-ed school. I am contemplating SS for DD. Can SS moms tell me why you like SS for DD? Thanks. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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boys and girls are very different in the classroom when young (elementary school). there is a bias against boys in co-ed learning environments. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Vent: DF consistently RSVPs exactly one day after the requested deadline for every single party/event I host. It doesn't really matter for practical purposes, but it annoys me that it is every single time. I feel like she is making a point about how busy she is (WOHM vs SAHM), but I could be projecting there. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:25 AM Flag
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Tell her you've reach full capacity for the event and can't accommodate any more people. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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great way to keep friends! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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Advance the RSVP date by one day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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And yes I think you are projecting your own insecurities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Stop inviting her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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Sounds like you're projecting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:45 AM Flag
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Either don't accept the RSVP, stop inviting, or ask her about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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+1 and I wdoubt you're projecting but there is probably more to the story [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 04:00 AM Flag
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You are definitely projecting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:58 AM Flag
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Everybody does that. I'm surprised when people RSVP on time. I consider it a suggestion. One day is no big deal. She is not thinking that much about it. When the RSVP date comes and goes, she probably thinks, "Sh!t! I missed it. Better get on that." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:48 AM Flag
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who cares? small potatoes. maybe she is doing that. but so what? let her have her moment of superiority. you know what the best way to nip this in the bud? mention a few times how you admire the way she can juggle work and family. give her what she wants and she'll stop asking for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Have you ever had an anxiety attack? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:24 AM Flag
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Who wants to know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:16 AM Flag
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Not a paranoia attack, an anxiety attack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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teehee [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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Yes. I cried hysterically and could not move (had collapsed half on the bed). DH had to pull me on the bed because I said I was "numb". I was breathing so hard. My lips and arms felt numb. Lasted about 45 minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:19 AM Flag
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What triggered it? And was that the only time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:35 AM Flag
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It was the only time. Which is weird, and I think it could happen again, because it was triggered by total exhaustion and being overwhelmed. Had worked so hard for two weeks, house was a total wreck, felt like I was disappointing everyone, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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Yes, thought I was having a heart attack. Went to emergency room because couldn't stop crying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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that sounds terrifying! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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What did they do for you there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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They usually give you a sedative or other medical intervention and wait until you calm down... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:55 AM Flag
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Yes, sometimes often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:22 AM Flag
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A mild one when I was about 7 months pregnant. I woke up in the middle of the night and my heart was pounding and I was sweating and felt so anxious I was dizzy. I got up and started walking around the house taking deep breaths until my heart slowed back to a normal pace and I then I felt ok. Had to go on meds for postpartum anxiety after db, but it really started in the third trimester after that attack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:23 AM Flag
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I have them frequently. My SSRI helps some. I used to be on Xanax but found it addicting and habit-forming, so no more. I do a lot of deep breathing exercises. They can be debilitating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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^^also have a medical problem and when the pain gets unmanageable, anxiety attacks are horrible because I literally think I'm dying. And unfortunately, when they give me IV pain meds in the hospital, it makes it even worse. It sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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Why what's going on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Why do people think Sophia Vergara is hot? She is so average imo. 57 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:16 AM Flag
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Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:05 AM Flag
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Yeah ok. Duly noted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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Eeekk. I still can't get over those icky eyebrows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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Jelly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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Ummmmmm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:18 AM Flag
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Average? Okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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I hate the way she talks. She sounds uneducated [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:07 AM Flag
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or like she's from a foreign country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:08 AM Flag
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np: No, she really sounds dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:09 AM Flag
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racist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:10 AM Flag
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np: Why is that racist? Aren't people with accents ever dumb? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:11 AM Flag
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This! It's like nails on a chalkboard! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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np- Yes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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I think I know what you mean. She is a bombshell. She wears too much makeup, she's got too much hair, she shows too much cleavage, her clothes are too tight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:19 AM Flag
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she's too good looking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:59 AM Flag
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UB, where Giselle looks like a horse and Sophia Vergara is average. I'm sure you have to beat producers off with a stick, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:07 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:11 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:59 AM Flag
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tacky and coarse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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She's not pretty and her voice makes me want to jab sharp objects into my ears. Every time she's on the tv I change the channel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:09 AM Flag
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She's today's Peggy Bundy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:22 AM Flag
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totally! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:23 AM Flag
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No, today's Raquel Welch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:12 AM Flag
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She hopes so. Katey segal still looks great and is on another hit show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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YES! The Latina Peg Bundy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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I don't want to live in your "average" world. I would be a hideous troll. Who is "above average" or "gorgeous" in your world? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:25 AM Flag
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herself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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She has a banging body. That is all men care about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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The other day UB decided the face is more important than the body??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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np to whom?????????? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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Everyone. Someone used the example of nigella lawson over lee ann rimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:22 AM Flag
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Neither of them have a good body. Lee Ann Rimes is anorexic. Think more J Lo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:35 AM Flag
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She is perfect from head to toe. The issue was, slightly overweight and pretty face or butterface and great body. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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What? Nigella is beautiful and she's got this whole nurturing earth mother vibe going on. My guess is that only UB women would think Lee Ann has a great bod, I think many men would prefer more curves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:25 AM Flag
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Not to men. Jesus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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This. Laughable. Half of Hollywood would be out of business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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Maybe to women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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She's hot and attractive. Beautiful, not really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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she's got a hot boyfriend, that's for sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Mmm. He's yummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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So yummy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Yes!! He is hot! Way better than the douche she dated before him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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he was gross! plus he was a pig. what did she see in that guy?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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This is terrible, but she looks like she has fetal alcohol syndrome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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Gosh you guys are a bunch of jealous bitches. Can't you be happy when another woman is successful? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:48 AM Flag
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You have to be kidding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:56 AM Flag
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I'm a guy. Who is the final judge of a woman's true allure? Your mom, your hair dresser, your sassy gay friend . . . or . . . oof . . . take the pain . . .a male? Sophia is the HIGHEST paid woman on television. Why? Because men want to fuck her. They jack off to her images. Makes you unhappy, but it's true. The women YOU find beautiful as a woman? - Tilda Swinton, Cate Blanchette, etc.? Enormous boner shrinkers. Guys could care less. Want economic security? Want private planes? Want the black Escalade that idles outside of Chanel? Look like Sophia Vegara. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:51 AM Flag
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You're so gross. P.S. Sofia Vergara was a single mother with no private plane, economic security or black Escalade idling outside of Chanel for many, many years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:56 AM Flag
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And blanchett has 2 oscars, her pick of film roles, NOT tv, and intl respect and acclaim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:50 AM Flag
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As far as the Latin bombshell goes, I find both Roslyn Sanchez and Matthew McConaughey's wife prettier. But Sofia is above average. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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She has huge boobs, a great ass, a skinny little waist and a nice smile. Men like her for her body. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:58 AM Flag
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She's a classic sexpot, that's all you need to know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:58 AM Flag
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I think she is average without makeup and surgery. Very overrated. But I tend to think I look a ton better with makeup too so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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She has a very nice body and a cut [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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^^^cute face. She's far from average. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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What's "a cut?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 04:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Can I lock my 2yo in her room for a toddler version of CIO? We are trying everything and bedtime just draws out longer every night, she will NOT stay in bed :( 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:13 AM Flag
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lose the nap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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Already? She just turned 2. We did push bedtime later by an hour already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:15 AM Flag
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Don't loose the nap if you think she needs it. My kids are 5 and almost 3 and still nap. 3yo naps daily and 5 yo is a couple days/week. My kids need that time, but all kids don't. Maybe a more strict (or consistent?) handling of what happens when she gets out of bed? No judgment, just thinking of ideas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:18 AM Flag
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I always do the swift straight back to bed without eye contact or anything. Sometimes I get upset. I've promised a reward in the morning if she doesn't get out of bed. We have talked about it during the day and she understands but still comes up with excuses to get up for an hour or up to two hours after being put to bed. Mostly she comes out asking for a dry diaper :( she's started holding her potty, won't pre on the potty before bed and will then pee in her diaper after I put her to be so she can ask to be changed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:22 AM Flag
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pp: I would make her sleep in the wet diaper one night. She will feel how awful it feels. It will then break the cycle of her coming out for a fresh diaper for a night too. See how she does! Or you can do what I do with my 2yo ds… swiftly put a fresh pull up on him at 1am when I go to sleep :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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I was wondering what the right thing to do is. She is potty trained and it feels wrong to deny a diaper change when she's asking but it's become crazy. It's not mean to just make her sleep in a pee diaper? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:35 AM Flag
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pp: NO! Lots of kids sleep with a wet diaper, but not necessarily on purpose. Some diapers are made to hold pee all night. Is it awesome and should be done every night? No, but a night or two will teach her that if she doesn't pee, she will have to deal with that wet diaper all night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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Lose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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do you allow her to sleep in your bed once she comes in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:03 AM Flag
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No never. She's not trying to get in out bed, just continues to get up and come out of her room after we put her back dozens of times, feels like hundreds. It's been months :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:19 AM Flag
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Have you tried a baby gate across her door frame? I would take out her toys (if she has toys) that she plays with or whatever it is that she does to stay awake. Go over to her and be sweet, but maybe just direct her back to bed. This way she cannot leave her room and has nothing fun to keep her awake? may help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:08 AM Flag
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This is a great idea except won't she be able to climb over it if she could easily get out of a crib? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:24 AM Flag
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She climbs out of her crib?! Sounds like it's time for a toddler bed. Get one of the high gates, they make them tall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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She's in a bed. She was great at first but now a few months later won't stay put. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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pp: again, no judgement, but it sounds like she has learned that she will get moms attention (good or bad), if she gets out of bed. You somehow need to break this. IF you can find a way to keep her in her room without giving her any attention (even if it is to say 'go back to bed'), you may see some change. As the poster above said, put her back in bed with no eye contact, no words, no nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:27 AM Flag
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I would add, get a reward system for if you only have to put her in bed 3 times. Make a chart or whatever. The first three times you put here there, count. When she exceeds 3 say she can "try again tomorrow" and proceed like above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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No real advice - we struggled with this for months and and still the only real solution we've found is cutting the nap (ie total exhaustion). Some things that worked on and off for us were a sticker/reward chart for staying in bed and making her stay put for 10 minutes and then coming back to check on her, etc. I've heard people who have had success with those clocks that turn green when you're allowed out of bed. Also a nightlight and letting her look at books, though this did not work at all for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Looking for CIO advice for a 9mo. We did pretty much cold turkey at 4mo and since then there were a handful of summer trips, some teeth and putting him in with his big brother (totally my fault, but I started to get him because his brother would wake up) and the fact that he's always been a sleep fighter. Long story short, I have messed this up and now have a 9mo who is not sleeping through the night and we need to do the whole thing over again. How will separation anxiety change things this time around? Any advice most appreciated, thanks. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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9 mo is common to not sleep the night. Don't compare yourself to ppl whose kids are doing it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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op - he used to be a much better sleeper and now has regressed - if not fully through the night at least until 4am or so. And now suddenly he's up 4 times again and I feel like all the training has been completely lost. Would like to do something, but do think he has some separation anxiety right now so straight up CIO doesn't feel right to me and am wondering if anyone's had success with sleep training at this age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:43 AM Flag
[ - ] No , I don't just sit there. We argue about it all the time. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:02 AM Flag
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Ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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Csb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Pediatrician for a newborn in Park Slope? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:00 AM Flag
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I've heard great things about Dr. Acula [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:02 AM Flag
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dracula?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:53 AM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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Lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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We like Dr. Gold at Tribeca Ped - hard to see her for sick visits, though, but it's nice to always have at least one branch open even on the weekends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:13 AM Flag
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We switched from her. Felt like she had really poor listening skills and was always "forgetting/not checking" basics facts about ds (like age). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:30 AM Flag
[ - ] what's a good car seat to get w uppa vista? no car, just need it for occasional trips / cabs, to get of hospital .. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:59 AM Flag
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I had Graco. Worked great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:53 AM Flag
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Love the uppa Mesa. Or if you don't need it just yet wait For the 4moms infant seat. It's so cool it almost makes me want to have another baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:16 AM Flag
[ - ] My MIL was visiting today and brought food for DCs. She told my 7-yo 36-pound 45-inches DS to eat more. Then she proceeded to say to him "you must eat more to grow. Are you the smallest boy in class? You must be the smallest in your class." DS said, "no, I am not the smallest." She then turned to me, looked puzzled and gave a look like "is he telling the truth?" I mean, WTF. I was so annoyed! 75 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:54 AM Flag
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That's really tiny - does he still ride in car seat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:43 AM Flag
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I don't meant to be rude but is your child even on the weight chart? Has he been diagnosed as failure to thrive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:55 AM Flag
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No, he is not on the chart. And yes, he has been diagnosed as failure to thrive. That's why she should never been saying that in front of him. Talking about common sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:46 AM Flag
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He is 7, he already hears it at school. Time to be honest with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:00 AM Flag
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There's being honest with him in a loving and respectful way that will in no way be harmful to him emotionally and then there's that... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:02 AM Flag
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This is the case where honesty is not the best policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:54 AM Flag
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No one in school ever says that to him, at least in my knowledge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:54 AM Flag
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Is eating more the answer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:50 AM Flag
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He has been a very picky eater since he was a baby. We worked very hard on this. And he is improving every year, although at a very slow pace and no where near where we want him to be. I think he is genetically small, but exercising more and eating more should certainly help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:56 AM Flag
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NP My friend's ds had some issues with extreme, extreme pickiness to the point where he had a really hard time eating solids (in 3rd grade). Weight was an issue, the dr wanted him to see a specialist for eating therapy, it affected his social life because he couldn't sit down and enjoy sharing a meal with friends … anyway, I just wanted to let you know that they kept it as low-key as possible, they gave him Ensure to take some of the pressure off (they were worried if they made too big a deal of it it could backfire), and in his own time he developed normal eating habits. She thinks part of it was going to camp and eating all his meals with other kids and wanting to fit in ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:05 AM Flag
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^but my point is, it all worked out and now you would never know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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Thank you very much. This is pretty much the attitude we are taking. I have been through 4 years of parenting group on feeding issues, basically learning how to deal with his eating habits. He is getting better slowly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:10 AM Flag
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Is it celiac? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:57 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:13 AM Flag
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It was tactless but she's not the first grandmother to think kids need to fatten up and eat more. Stereotypical old lady behavior, especially if she's Jewish or Italian. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:59 AM Flag
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ITA, she should have stopped before asking him if he was the smallest but the rest is very common. My MIL tells my DS the same thing and he is not underweight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:02 AM Flag
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It was the question that annoyed me. Then the facial expression not believing that he is not the smallest really really annoyed me. He was telling the truth. He is not the smallest, because he is the oldest in class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:58 AM Flag
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or. Does she know there could be a real issue (ie failure to thrive) and that he's not just a slightly skinny kid? If so, her comment was more than tactless and you could have DH ask her not to bring it up again in his hearing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:01 AM Flag
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This has been an ongoing issue for the past 7 years. She has been told many many times that many of her approaches are very inappropriate and does not produce the results that she wants. She once tried to help watch DS while DH and I went on vacation for 7 days. She told DS if he did not finish his food, mom would not come back. Of course, DS had nightmares for almost 1 month waking up in the middle of the night to check if I was still there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:04 AM Flag
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She's a real peach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:10 AM Flag
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HOLY CRAP! What does your dh say? -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:10 AM Flag
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I don't know. He said he would talk to her. Obviously, things have not changed. I don't believe she would ever change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:25 AM Flag
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OK, that's awful. I think your dh needs to sit down with her and have a blunt conversation. She is probably doing these things out of love and genuine concern, but it's not her call and she's making things worse. I would tell her that you guys are on it, the pediatrician is on it, and her involvement is only making ds self-conscious. And I think it's ok to tell your ds "Grandma comes from a generation where parents made kids clean their plates, she's a little old-fashioned." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:13 AM Flag
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i think it is not the asking him to eat part that annoys me. it's the part that she insisted him being the smallest even after she was told otherwise really bothered me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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WTF? She would never watch my child again. THAT is unforgivable. Did it ever occur to you that she is behind his lack of progress? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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No, we have since then never asked her to watch our DCs. She comes very infrequently (thank god.) So no, she is not behind his lack of progress. He is just a very risk averse child- he does not like to try new food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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Well, how bad was he before she made that abusive threat? Was he 3, by any chance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:42 AM Flag
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He was about 3 or 4. He has been a very picky eater since a baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:43 AM Flag
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Or an Italian Jew.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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If I was this DC's grandma, I'd also be very concerned he was not eating [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:59 AM Flag
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I understand what you are saying. We are all concerned. But we'd never make such comment about him to him. Just like you would not tell a fat lady you must be the fattest at work- even if it is out of concern for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:11 AM Flag
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Regardless, super overboard on your MIL's part. I would be annoyed too, especially if that was done in my child's presence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:59 AM Flag
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I wish she would be mute when she comes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:12 AM Flag
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We all wish our MILs would be mute as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:19 AM Flag
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LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:35 AM Flag
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Is he a super picky eater? Are you? I know someone whose son had same diagnosis and mother was anorexic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:56 AM Flag
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He is a super picky eater. i was when I was a child, but not any more. Both my husband and I really enjoy eating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:01 AM Flag
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Do you restrict your or his diet in any way- sweets, snacks, etc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:03 AM Flag
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We choose what to put on the table. He chooses what he eats and how much he eats. We don't have junk food at home. He gets sweets/candies at birthday parties, playdates when everyone else is having them. We don't restrict him and make him the only one not having them at parties and playdates. But generally, we don't give them at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:18 AM Flag
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So, no chocolate chip cookies and milk after school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:38 AM Flag
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Rarely cookies, but more like chocolate milk and crackers. Or string cheese and drinkable yogurt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:52 AM Flag
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Just give him some chocolate chip cookies or Oreos, whatever, if he likes them. A few cookies after school is not "bad." Let the child enjoy eating and being a child. You are too restrictive and that is part of the problem. Relax the rules for your child's sake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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Say "Mom, are you implying that I'm not feeding Johnny?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:03 AM Flag
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I was annoyed and just walked away. I did not think getting into a fight with her is great for my DS in front of him, especially over food/feeding issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:07 AM Flag
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So you in effect demonstrated to your DC that you have no problem with him being put in an uncomfortable position. Way to look out for your kid. You just normalized her shitty behavior and sent a message to your kid he's not worth it. Congrats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:24 AM Flag
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What would you have done? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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Maybe at something to her like "Mom, when you comment on DCs weight I feel uncomfortable. I know you mean well but I'd appreciate if you don't do it anymore in front of him. Thank you. We love having you here. Can I get you a cup of tea?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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In front of DS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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Yeah - didn't she say it in front of him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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Tell her if she has concerns to talk to you privately. Or if she presses and says she's concerned say that the doctor says he's a healthy growing boy and there's nothing for her to worry about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:27 AM Flag
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This could work. I could say this in front of DS without hurting his confidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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And just keep it matter of fact, nonemotional, and immediately redirect the convo to something you know she likes to gab about or gossip about. She's probably just worried and being a typical grandma/ mIL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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GL btw. It probably won't be as difficult as you think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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My 8yo ds is super skinny too and really hard to feed. He is super picky, has very low appetite and takes forever to finish a meal (I'm talking over an hour). It's really frustrating and I worry a lot as I'm sure you do too. It certainly doesn't help when relatives comment. I've had this happen too. It's very annoying and I also feel it's damaging to my ds' self-esteem. I'm sure your MIL was just worried about him. People often come from a good place but are awkward or inappropriate about it. Especially older people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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Yes, you are right on. I wish she would be mute when she comes over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:24 AM Flag
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No excuse. You teach people how to treat you. -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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How do you teach your MIL without making it even worse? I could see it getting into a full blown fight with DH and I in front of my DS and still hurt his self-esteem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:24 AM Flag
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I would have a heartfelt conversation with her at another time (when you're not angry) and explain to her what's going on and that it would mean a lot to you if she didn't mention the issue in front of your son. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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I think you are right. I think my biggest problem is that I am so annoyed by her, I don't even know how to speak to her. It's like I wish I have no relationship with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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you're upset because she (unwittingly) inflicted damage on your son - which is awful and i'm sorry - but you will be less annoyed with her if you see that it's coming from a place of concern and it's just the execution that was wrong but not the intent. talk to her when you're not so angry - i'm sure she'll understand you once you explain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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PP: DH already talked to her AND she knows it's a medical issue. She doesn't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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She thinks she knows better than everyone. The only reason I found out that she told DS to eat or mommy would never come back from vacation was she bragged about the success of her strategy. She said I need to sometimes "scare him" into doing what I want him to do, because kids don't know better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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I would have looked at her with a big smile and said sarcastically, "Well, aren't you a big help?" Then, I would have distracted my son and asked her to leave. She wouldn't be invited back. Why on Earth would DH fight you on this?? Does he not like your son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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^^But I would only do it once ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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I can't imagine that he would be thrilled if I ask her to leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:49 AM Flag
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I would have looked at her with a big smile and said sarcastically, "Well, aren't you a big help?" Then, I would have distracted my son and asked her to leave. She wouldn't be invited back. Why on Earth would DH fight you on this?? Does he not like your son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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I'm not saying she should just take it lying down. But being harsh just leads to irreparable damage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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That's how I felt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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And? She's an a$$hole. She has caused irreparable damage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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So what does that attitude accomplish? How does that help anyone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:51 AM Flag
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She was wrong. It was very inconsiderate to you and your son. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:12 AM Flag
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The worst part is that it would never change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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What is age/weight of other dcs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:46 AM Flag
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Get over it. Mothers and MILs do stuff like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:48 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm really inspired by the mom who had a weekend to herself and as one of her things, planned to learn a lot about one subject. If you had a weekend of learning which subject would you choose? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:52 AM Flag
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Taxidermy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:55 AM Flag
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I love history, so I'd probably pick a country and a time period and focus on that. Not sure which one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:56 AM Flag
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Ooohhh I like that one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:15 AM Flag
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Latin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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me too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:51 AM Flag
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Sleepology. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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^ Win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:35 AM Flag
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I study different subjects often. I'm weird like that (former College Bowl and Jeopardy champion here). Some recent things I was studying: gemology, the Mexican-American War, elk bugling, Oscar Wilde. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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It would be very practical and good for my marriage if I would spend a weekend learning all about the high-tech stuff in our house so I could stop bugging DH. In my real-life fantasy, I'd learn calligraphy or finally read War and Peace or do an intense weekend of Spanish immersion or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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History of Medical Ethics, especially human experimentation without consent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 03:41 AM Flag
[ - ] Favorite test prep "toys"? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.15.14, 02:52 AM Flag
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