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[ - ] HYP humanities major here. I have never worked and my life is great. Any questions? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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What will you do if the "world ends"? What would you be able to do to survive? What skills do you have? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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I'll admit I have very few practical skills. But if the world ends, then I don't want to survive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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Okay, suppose DH kicks the bucket? Or leaves you for a yoga instructor? (I was also an Ivy humanities major but I could support myself without a DH if necessary.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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DH has a large life insurance policy. My family is very well off also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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Ok at least you're honest. Well, we all live in a way suitable to us. If this works for you, and I don't have to feed and clothe you, how you live is none of my business, unless you are on public assistance, in which case I don't like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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HYP humanities major here too. I have always worked in a field I love. I have amazing kids, I still love and desire my dh and my life is great. Any questions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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What job / what field? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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You never worked? Not even an internship? Did you get married at 22? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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Do you feel judgement from your parents or your former classmates? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Haven't been on in days - have we already discussed the cancelling of "The Interview" and how Sony backed down? Can you believe this? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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Someone was talking about it at work today and I overheard. I think we should do what Putin did with the Chechens. Problems over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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It wasn't sony who backed down-- it was the movie theatres who didn't want want that risk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP: Sony backed down as they don't want any more of their emails hacked... and this whole terrorism thing is the reason they cancelled. It wasn't the movie theatres. http://www.cnet.com/news/sony-cancels-the-interview-release/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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honestly, very poor choice for the theatre goers since sony will use it to start to cut them out. that was a moment of biting off your nose to spite your face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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they should just put it up on yourtube or pay per view. see how many people will watch it. I think this is all a promo stunt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
[ - ] can anyone link the post about the ticket to Europe? didn't see it, but from what i gather, parents gave kid money, he used it to buy tickets to europe for himself and three of his friends? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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It's the first in most popular. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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ah ok thx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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huh, not really that interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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It was a birthday gift. Parents didn't say here's 6k what do you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Do I need to get my therapist a Christmas gift? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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no, and really probably shouldn't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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ok - I'm NOT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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Gifts move DOWN the chain, not up. You give something to your assistant, but not your boss. Your therapist is in the position of authority; you owe no gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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I know this for the office, but wasn't sure about therapist. This is my first one. I was just thinking a DD gift card. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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No. I presume you pay her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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yes, insurance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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Then no. Possibly a card if you're pleased. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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Depends - have you been with him a while, how often do you go there, will you continue to go there for a while [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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1x per week, & just started in the summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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I would, if you like him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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OP - majority wins, no gift [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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no. Signed psychiatrist mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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but a card would be nice :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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Just a regular holiday card? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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this thought would have never even occurred to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Scene in the Suburbs: A ranking of suburban town employees and officials, from most to least powerful: 1)School Secretary 2)Planning Board Chairperson 3)Police Chief 4)Recreation Director 5)Crossing Guard 6)Mayor. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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In what town are all these scenes occurring? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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Scenes from the most boring movie ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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I think you are worried overly much about what happens in school and have a totally skewed power of perception. Your idiocy or your obsession with school issues is affecting your perceptions. Get help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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more importantly, it's like five midgets fighting over who's the tallest. guess what, nobody. nobody. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Can you wear open toed shoes this time of year? They are booties and really fun and look great with this dress. Going to DH's office cocktail party, and won't be able to wear tights. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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I have seen people do this often, but i personally dislike the look. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Are you in California? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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I don't wear open toed shoes in winter but I see a lot of people who do for evening attire. It's fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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you are going to be indoors. I don't see why not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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You're allowed out for a party, you're free to pick a pretty outfit and whatever shoes and jewelry you want, and you'll be eating real food and store-bought liquor. Wear them and be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Op: thank you - i rarely dress up, bought them a few months ago and never really wore them and really want to - wasn't sure if i could pull it off. Thanks! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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No problem, Sugar. Now enjoy your party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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I've seen lots of strappy sandals at new year's parties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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It's very fashion forward to wear peep-toes with tights if they're in contrasting colours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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everything fashion forward isn't attractive. I think that look is hideous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O Hunter Round 2 post since I saw some exclamation marks about "nap time for 4 year old": My son is in K and still naps if he has a chance to do it after coming home from school and/or weekends. I tried to re-schedule him for early evening bed time but it would not work - still napping during the day is his natural preference. Plus I would see him much less if he would be in bed at 7pm. I was napping until I was almost 8 year old and it was considered a norm. Where I grew up majority of kids have "nap" time or quite time at least until 7 year old when secondary eduction would begin. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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ok I agree. kids should nap as long as they can. brain cells grow during sleep cycles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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OP: That was the philosophy back in my old country along with some other things like hot meal during the day, etc. But it's all different in USA so I had to adjust my expectations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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you can do what you can do. American kid's education, behavior and development are not exactly the example for the world. (With exceptions of course) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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I wish my kid would have taken naps. She dropped them early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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OP: yeah, that totally depends on the kid. On the other hand, my son is early riser (b/w 6-7am no matter what) so absence of nap time might turn out to be a blessing for some people. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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My 4yo naps and probably will do what your DC does (nap after school in K), also because we like to have some time together at night to talk about the day. But it is not a disaster if he occasionally has to miss his nap, as he will for his R2 assessment. I think people were responding more to the op's idea that the world (or at least hunter) should revolve around her dc's nap schedule. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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I agree that occasional slip is ok but some kids simply become less alert/unmanageable/ tantrum if their schedule is interrupted. My son would become very crancky and would definetly have a hard time at 4. He grown a lot over the year but still had a hard time to adjust to no nap at K. I think OP in that post was just ranting and I totally understand her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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I get it, it's not the most ideal time for my DC either, but she seemed seriously indignant to the point of thinking they were singling out her DC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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I still nap when I can! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Omg I love naps. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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OP: I am with you. The best time ever. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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Are you a Russian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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I would have napped my son until kindergarten but at age 3 1/2 he started staying up all night if he had even a short nap. Staying up really late is worse for growth and development than going without naps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
[ - ] How important do you think homework is the third grade? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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important. 3rd grade starts Common Core testing and before you know it, middle school - i feel like 3rd is when you really separate the smart kids from the ones who need help. I have one of each in my house. One who doesn't require a lot, one who needs extra help, tlc - 3rd grade really seemed to be the year it came to light... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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NP - Do you think your children are treated differently by teachers based on their ability? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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DD doesn't get a lot, but the homework that she does get reinforces what she has learned during the day. I think it is handy when it comes to testing time, because she's already practiced/reviewed and just needs to review a little more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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this. it's also a good habit to set up for studying/independent work. they do a lot of independent reading a studying by the time middle school comes around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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np. ita. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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NP. Yes but we want our son to choose his own reading. That's what we consider truly independent, for him to be passionate about a subject and learn more about it because he wants to. That's how both my husband and I were as kids, not because we were at progressive schools but because our elementary schools in the 70s didn't give homework so we actually had free time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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it would bother me for social reasons [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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It depends on the homework. Some is busy work and everyone knows it. Some reinforces class work and some helps teacher identify who needs help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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important. why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
[ - ] My long-distance boyfriend comes to my family's house for Christmas for a week. My huge family is overwhelmingly generous and loving and loud and very traditionally "family." We get him lots of presents and he is included in everything. He has a stocking and piles of gifts and is just part of the family. His family on the other hand is very reserved - warm, but more removed - and doesn't even call to wish me happy birthday or get me a Christmas gift or send anything to me or my parents. I think this is rude. Want to talk to him about it - when I'v brought it up in th past he has said they love me they just express it differently (i.e. not at all). Thoughts? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 12.18.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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My family didn't really engage in any kind of behavior with my prior boyfriends (didn't call; didn't get them presents; etc.). This didn't start happening until after I was married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Hmmm. How was his family with you beforee you were married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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Same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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you cannot change people. Trying to get his family to think that their behavior for the past 60 years is wrong and your family's is right will make you very popular [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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You will never change how they are, so not sure what you hope talking to him about it will do. If they were and warm to others but not you, that might be a sign of something, but this just sounds like who they are. You have to decide if you can be comfortable with that on the future, including if you have DCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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who cares? don't be so needy, jeesh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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I don't really think this is being needy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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THIS. MY LORD are you quite the little snowflake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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AMEN! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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I couldn't agree more!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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Why is it rude that they are diff than you???? PS I am not joking, watch MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING and it will cheer you up (sounds like both of you!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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It just feels like they don't even think of me or care that I exist. Whereas my family goes all out to include him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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SO? Maybe it sucks for them that their son doesn't spend holidays with THEM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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You sound very, very needy for an adult, particularly one that gets so much attention from her own family. Sheesh - maybe they don't like you very much! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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It's NOT rude when people do things differently from the way your family does them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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well, it stinks but if he has expressed to you in a loving way that this is how his family IS, think how it must be for him growing up with a family like that, and try to accept it. If it hurts you NOW, it will only get worse when you have kids and they don't fuss over them. Be happy you have your family and HIM and move on. as the other poster said, you can't change poeple. and believe me, they don't change over time. if you can't accept it, move on now or it will destroy your relationship. bashing his family is not going to bring you two any closer! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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Why do they need to send your parents Christmas gifts if they aren't SPENDING Christmas with them? you sound very childish and self absorbed. not everyone gets a family like yours. most don't. be happy for what you have and stop focusing on the negative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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I think this is just a difference in style, and not necessarily rude. If you were visiting their house for Christmas do you think they would get you gifts and include you as family, or if you happened to be there on your birthday would they celebrate it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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How well do they know you, and have they even met your parents? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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Adults really shouldn't care about their birthday being recognized by anyone other than their partner, kids, parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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Agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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You are so annoying. Why on earth would they send your parents anything? Get some life perspective, people's families differ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Every family is different. You are marrying your bf not his family. Not every one is outgoing and gregarious. Now I do not fully understand your post..You said "and doesn't even call you or send presents...." He doesn't or his family do not? Big difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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His family doesn't. Whereas when it's his birthday my parents will email him or call him and send him a card or a small gift. And at christmas they go all out for him. His family doesn't really even acknowledge I exist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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do they acknowledge he exists? My family is not that large and not that demonstrative with family members, so boyfriends/girlfriends really were low on the list [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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NP: Then this may also be a question of how you view your status -- that is, you need validation that you are important in your bf's life. If you were secure, then you wouldn't care so much, and chalk it up to "different personalities." Do you think you'd be this upset once you were married? Had kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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your family goes all out to include him because he is physically present. if you were at his house, and everyone else got a christmas present and you didn't, even something small, that may be rude. but your boyfriend wouldn't be include like he is if he wasn't spending xmas at your house. you won -- he is with you for xmas. let the other stuff go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Why would they send anything to your parents?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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How old are you? Are you the mother of an UB? Why post this here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Re Hunter prepping. I wonder what they look for. I know one kid who is currently there who was prepped to death, I mean serious prepping from the time dc was 0years old. The parents were gung ho about getting their dc in and amazingly, they did. The kid practically had a live in child psychologist. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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Way to ruin a kid's childhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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Tell us more, please! I am intrigued. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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Is the DC Asian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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It is called COINCIDENCE - not amazing at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Everyone I know who got to round 2 prepped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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We squeaked by, no prep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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Congrats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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The thing about that is if the kid is "prepped" so much and needs to be prepped that much it might not be a good fit for them and they might need a lot of support to be comfortable in the environment. Why would you do this to your kid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Bright Kids does a tremendous job making sure your child is prepped to score in the 170s and guarantees the tester won't be able to tell. They also have an R2 prepping course that you should consider. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Hi bright kids rep! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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We all know that you know that you don't know the child that you claim to know and that you don't know that he was prepped. But, we admit that we know that we don't know you and that you don't know us, so there is a chance that you don't know that you don't know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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I know a child who was prepped for almost a year before the test (parents told us). She is there. But I also don't think she is doing poorly because of it. I think prepping may ensure that a smart kid shows off what they know and get it. But doesn't necessarily allow a kid who is mediocre to get in, if that makes sense. I.e. just because you are prepped a lot does not mean you were not smart to begin with. Just that your parents are gunners/ tiger-parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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I think prepping will definitely help in borderline cases, it could push a 140 child to a 143 to make the cutoff, and chances are that child would be just fine at Hunter. There is no amount of prep that could give a 110 child 150. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Please help. Somehow found myself falling for a married man who has two kids. We've been out a few times. No sex yet. More emotional, and some making out. I am fighting it and fighting it and trying to stay far away but not doing good job.. I am not stupid and I don't want to make a giant mistake in my life. I am not married but I have a loving boyfriend. Please give advice to keep this in perspective and helping me get over this infatuation. I need to cut it off and need motivation to do that. TIA. I know some of you must have been there before. 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 12.18.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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Stop being a homewrecker. It is a disgusting role. Think of the two kids' lives you are ruining. Your boyfriend will dump you and will find someone else, but you will be marred for life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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OP - I agree it' a disgusting role and I never pictured myself in it. I have no idea how I got here and I want to rewind. I don't think he will leave his wife so I know his home won't be wrecked but still, it's awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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She may find out and leave him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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& beat you up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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Just because he won't leave her doesn't mean she won't leave him ifs he finds out about you. Which is probably what you are secretly hoping for. You will have ruined the childhoods of two innocent kids and his kids will hate you and you will never have a happy marriage with him. But ya go ahead and ruin your life. I disagree with your assertion that you aren't stupid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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This. And why would you want a husband who is has shown himself to be perfectly okay with cheating on his wife. How is that a turn on to you? Fix your picker-outer stat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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Good point. I imagine the attention makes her feel good. She needs to figure out why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Agree. OP is stupid. Stupid to have started this, and stupider still for continuing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Leaving her wouldn't be the worst thing on earth for her... being married to the guy is bad enough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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What he does with/for you, HE WILL ALWAYS DO AGAIN! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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You don't need to rewind. Just stop. Save yourself now. You think it is hard to disengage now - it will be harder later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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yuuup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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Tell him if he becomes truly available, then he can give you a call. Karma. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Still seems gross. Leave him be. Why be a temptress? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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I hear you. It may be easier for OP to cut it off without closing the door. At least she cuts it off before she does something she regrets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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you have to make a million decisions to get into bed with a married man. start saying no at those moments instead of yes. and get youself a hobby, and end your relationship with your living boyfriend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Yes. Thank you. This makes it actionable for me. Start saying no at those small moments of decision making. This helps [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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yes - all the little moments - don't shave your legs, wear crappy underwear, don't smile back, take the path that doesn't make you walk by his desk, no flirty emails, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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are you medicated or something? how old are you? you sound like you're either very young or very "off" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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I am young, yes. Idk. Just going through a lot right now. Trying to do the right thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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There is no try. Only do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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It's not that hard. Grow up and dump him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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What is wrong with you? I will never understand a message like this. Do you have no self-restraint? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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Idk what's wrong with me. I actually feel as you do. I hate women like this. I can't understand why I'm doing this at the moment in my life. It is so unlike me. in every way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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If this is truly out of character for you, then see a therapist and figure out what is motivating you to act like this. Probably depression [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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then stop. now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Just don't see him again ever. It is that simple of an action. The emotions will take more time, but don't see him again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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How did things even get this far? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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Idk. he kept pursuing and pursuing and I just weakened and went out with him once because he said it was as friends. Then I really liked him. Then he kissed me. Then he said he really wanted to do it again and the same pattern happened. I need to cut it off immediately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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^^^he said he thought I was his soulmate and I was dumb enough to believe it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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forget the kids, forget the wife, have some RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. and your "loving boyfriend." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Assuming you don't care a whit about innocent children or your boyfriend (which is gross in and of itself), why would you bring this shame on yourself? If you feel so inadequate, go see a therapist. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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You "found yourself"? Really. Was it as big a surprise for you as it will be for his wife when she finds out? You have full control over your life. You don't find yourself in situations you find undesirable and do not with to participate in. Stop using excuses. The man needs to be divorced first, then you can consider relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Your first problem is in your second sentence: you "found yourself fallling"....? You are in denial that you have (a) control over, and (b) responsibility for both your decisions and actions. Yes, it's hard to keep "fighting and fighting to stay away," but really, your message sounds like it was written by a 14-year old. Woman up and walk away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Its not even that hard. All you have to do it think about Karma biting you in the ass when you do the wrong thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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Agree. OP is very immature. Sounds as though she was coddled growing up and never had to make a tough decision in her life. This is the result. Completely narcissistic, emotionally weak people who hurt small children yet still only think about themselves [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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Sounds to me more like someone with an unloving mother who never have her proper self esteem, so she seeks it from improper places. Emotionally stable women don't become homeworkers. I'm guessing she had a shitty and unloving mother [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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I agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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Not at all. I have the most loving mother in the world. I have NEVER done something like this before. Idk. I experienced a sexual assault last year right before meeting my boyfriend and have been a little messed up since. I need to go to therapy. I have been doing strange things out of character like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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His wife will kick your ass! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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You ARE a homewrecker. You are causing tremendous pain to other people. Whether or not he leaves his marriage, he is destroying it by putting energy into his relationship with you instead of into his family. Trust me. I'm the wife on the other side of this. DH destroyed our marriage by having this affair and devastated his children by neglecting them. The pieces of our family are scattered so far and wide, it's likely irrecoverable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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I'm so sorry. This really hit home to read this. You are making me really reconsider my actions. This is why I needed a jolt of reality. Did you two divorce due to the affair? Personally if my BF cheated I'd leave immediately. I have never done anything like this in my life and I need to see a therapist to work it out. I am going to cut it off with the married guy. It hasn't gone too far at all so hopefully it will just be easy to move on from for both of us before anyone gets hurt. I do not want to hurt his children or wife. or myself. or him. or my BF. thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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Analogy: Its like seeing a man preparing to beat a child. If you offer him your belt to use, how are you blameless? You can say "I didn't beat that child. His relationship with his child is his business, and I have nothing to do with it. If it hadn't been my belt, he would have found someone else's belt, anyway. He was bound to beat that child regardless of my involvement." Does any of that rationalization change the fact that it was through the man AND your actions that another human being was hurt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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Once a cheater always a cheater. This is a bad kind of man to be involved with in any way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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You will look back at this someday and shudder at the thought. Been there! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
[ - ] how often are second babies early? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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usually later than DC1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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^I have 3 Dcs each gestated longer than the other, but all 3 were born before due dates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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later? really? DC1 was day before due-date. Hadn't heard about 2nd kids being later... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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About as often as they are late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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None of my 3 were early. But my 3rd was FAST (2 hours flat from waking up with contractions to delivery at the hospital-- which included rushing there in a taxi-whew!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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gestation time for subsequent kids is correlated, I read somewhere. So if you had a long gestation period for the first, you are more likely to for the second as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:12 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't cry much. Sad movie, hearing Taps,Hallmark card commercials, that's about it. People don't hurt my feelings or upset me enough to make me cry. Am I the only one? Truly don't get crying a lot. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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It's a hormonal thing for me. Some days I'm teary and some days not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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Not a crier, either. Have never cried at work or at school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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You cry at Hallmark commercials? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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People are different. Imagine that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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No. I also hardly ever cry. Same stimulus as you. It appears there is more of us than I thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
[ - ] My SIL does not like me. Every year, we spend time together on Christmas if we are in town. Also every year our other SIL (dh's sister) joins us. This year, the sister moved across country and is not going to join us. SIL wrote to my dh and other SIL about Christmas plans even though I do all the cooking and planning. Since other SIL will not be there, I was informed through dh that they would come out on a weekend after Christmas. Dh requested they SIL get in touch with me. Request ignored. I've been crying all morning about this because it hurts. How do you all cope with a situation like this? Just put on a smile and suck it up for dh and the kids? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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I would tell them don't bother, and make your own new tradition!. Be happy, you have DH and your kids. Go to see the tree, the store windows whatever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Husband loves his brother and I don't want to interfere on their relationship. I want to do something else and leave my husband and kids with them to exchange gifts, but I know that would be seen by everyone as petulant and my 9 yo dd would pick up on the discord and dislike in laws on my behalf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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I'm sorry to hear that. I think we need to know more backstory about why she doesn't like you in order to provide specific help, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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Two things are at play: she was always rather out off my me. I'm a sahm, she's childless. Maybe I try too hard. Who knows. But I picked up on her dislike. I screwed up the courage to friend her on FB. Stupid of me bc five minutes after accepting my request, she posted a passive aggressive post about how wrong it was to play April fools on your kids. My status update showed an April fools prank with the kids. Nothing mean spirited. Anyway, I was too sensitive about it and unfriended her. That was four years ago. We visit their house and the Portion our Christmas card where my face is is covered by A huge magnet. And on and on. She hates me now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Sorry, on my phone. "Put off by me..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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you friended her and the unfriended on facebook? you must stop taking everything personally and take the high road going forward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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Even by only getting one side of this story, I'm pretty confident she is the one who has issues, not you. I don't think you can take her dislike of you personally, as weird as that sounds. Maybe she is jealous you have kids and she doesn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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You UNFRIENDED her??? OMG. No wonder she doesn't like you. You're THE RUDE ONE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Couldn't follow your story but none of it sounds worth "crying all morning". Yes, suck it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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Dh's sister told him that she would be coming another weekend and he told her to call you? Why? Why does she have to tell both of you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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She doesn't bother to ask if we have plans and check with me. I have two kids. Weekends are almost always booked. It takes planning. Also, I'm not sure if they think magic fairies cook the food, but that takes planning too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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If you have other plans, your DH could have told her that. If you don't, I don't see what the big deal is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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I think take the high road here -- be enthusiastic about their fun visit after Christmas, and plan fun meals and nice activities for when they are in your home (as well as some time just for you if SIL is driving you nuts!). On Xmas day, have a wonderful, wonderful time with just your family. I am kind of jealous of you, we are traveling to visit family (and we did for Thanksgiving too) and I would LOVE a quiet family only Xmas at home! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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NO fucking away should she entertain someone who cant call her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself. She probably doesn't like you because you're so emotional or too into your own feelings for her taste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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I just read that you unfriended her on facebook. Mystery solved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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she is way too emotional and over such silly things [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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Ignore. They are cunts on wheels. Please don't cry. You don't want your kids to see yours eyes puffy and ask if Santa pissed you off :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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no reason to cry, put on your big girl panties and call her - and say "dh let me know you guys are coming xyz weekend, so sorry but we have plans already" we could do xyz weekend in January if that works for you guys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Roach!!!! We have lived in the same uws condo since we bought it new 10 years ago. beautiful building with great amenities. love our apt. last night I saw a roach scurry across my foyer. WTF??!! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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You need bigger problems in your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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There are roaches everywhere. Just get the building mgmt to spray the corners. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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hee hee [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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Big waterbug type of small German roach. If the first, probably a one-off but put stoppers in your tubs when not using them. If the second, could be a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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At least roaches don't bite, Sugar. It's the rats and the stuff you can't see that's the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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Seriously? One roach and you are freaking out? It's NYC. There are roaches everywhere. Get some combat traps and stop being such a drama queen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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you didn't see the mama roach with her giant pouch of eggs which are hatching right now behind your refrigerator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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Welcome to NYC. They're everywhere. Be grateful this is the first one you've seen in your place over a 10 year period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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Are you kidding?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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Step on roach, or if you are humane, remove him in a paper cup. The only bug I would worry about is a bad bug. Chillax :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] HIlarious that on a board where adults of 40+ nakedly brag about how their parents are stroking checks to subsidize their lifestyle that they can't come close to affording get all bent about how "if your mother is paying for your ticket to Europe, you're not an adult". FYI, I don't consider the rafts of UBers whose parents underwrite their snowflakes private school tuition and vacations to be "adults" either. If you can't do it without mommy, you're far from an adult, and it doesn't matter how many kids you have. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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ugh. parents gave an expensive gift to their son. he chose how to spend it. i'm sure you'd prefer that people live frugally and then get a windfall inheritance of which the government gets half. and that they pay their parents to babysit their own grandkids. on the books of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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I took my mom to Paris for her 40th birthday. Does this make her not an adult? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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you sound fun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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She sacrificed a lot for me - it was the first time in my life I had a good enough job to have some serious savings and I was so happy I got to take her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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wow you had a teen mom? cool! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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It's a long story. My aunt's husband seduced my 16 year old mom, and I'm their kid. I'm thankful my mom decided to have me, and keep me. I was supposed to be adopted, but she came back to the hospital after a day to get me. So no, it wasn't exactly "cool", but we have an amazing bond and I'm eternally thankful to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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OMG is this for real? What happened to your biological dad / uncle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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He died of cancer in 2008. I didn't know he was my biological dad until I was 20, I just knew him as my uncle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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Holy shit. Did / does your aunt know? She stayed married to him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Yes, and yes. She is an amazing person, and has always been so kind to my mother and to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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I have no idea whether to believe all this, but am gripped by the story - would make a good book. (I don't mean that in any way to trivialize you're living through it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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It's all true, and honestly not as dramatic (for me) as one might think. I haven't seen it, but people here have commented that it sounds similar to the movie August Osage County. I can't imagine what my mom went through - she was dating the man who raised me (my real dad) at the time and he offered to marry her and tell everyone I was his so no one would know. She refused, but eventually did marry him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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We don't get money from parents for dc's private school tuition, but I know plenty of people who do - and not because they can't afford it on their own. It's a well known tactic used by the wealthy to distribute money to their adult children and grandchildren, since the money can be used to pay any amount of tuition without paying taxes on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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np: people whose parents are in no position to do this are resentful of those who are. however, i do know some people whose parents do not need it as part of estate planning and who maybe cannot even afford it who ask this of them or are resentful that their parents don't do it. people do not realize that the grandparents who do this are usually older and have assets far in excess of what they need to maintain their lifestyle - millions in assets above and beyond hteir homes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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i doubt it's an estate planning tool in 20% of the cases. Smart people hire smart planners who can help them avoid the vast majority of the estate taxes. They're underwriting their kids, period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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As they were underwritten. Are you saying a 65 year old who has inherited wealth can never be an adult unless she renounces or refuses to use the inheritance? That seems absurd to me. - wohm with no inheritance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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np: smart planners tell their wealthy clients this - use EVERY SINGLE available tool to reduce your estate. the biggest ones: paying for education of kids/grandkids/great-grandkids directly to the school bc there is no limit, paying for healthcare of the same directly to the provider bc there is no limit, annual exclusion gifting to all of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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^^^ this IS the way to avoid estate taxes!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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yep! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.18.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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