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[ - ] Just booked a vacation with extended family to the Caribbean in December. Where do I shop for swimsuits? I NEED support on top. Best brands? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:18 AM Flag
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Everything but Water….but not the NYC location. Can you get to Jersey? I also like ASOS. They have plus sizes on top. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:21 AM Flag
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^ oh and Canyon Beachwear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:21 AM Flag
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I have the same issue with support and I love the Becca brand [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:23 AM Flag
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Landsend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
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You'd be surprised but Victoria's Secret. Look online and in their catalog. The bras are very supportive and they don't show all that much (unless you pick a model that does! But they have a wide range). I am a 34D but a small on the bottom and I need an underwire. I've been shopping from there for years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:25 AM Flag
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You'd be surprised but Victoria's Secret. Look online and in their catalog. The bras are very supportive and they don't show all that much (unless you pick a model that does! But they have a wide range). I am a 34D but a small on the bottom and I need an underwire. I've been shopping from there for years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Spin off, Do not let your husband go to events at DD schools. Some moms at the TT schools are looking to trade up to a better husband and will steal yours 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:18 AM Flag
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This was posted in the below thread http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html?_r=1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:18 AM Flag
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I remember that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:25 AM Flag
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Lol. They can take my DH. I'll trade you my spence for your Chapin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:26 AM Flag
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Some of the married moms are relentless in spending time with married men. I am not acusing them of anything but it is creepy when women call my husband and ask him to come over to their apartment when their own husband is out of town [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Would you consider it odd if your teen DS started listening to Mexican music with the accordions and the guys in black suits and cowboy hats with rifles and everything? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:12 AM Flag
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you mean mariachi music? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:13 AM Flag
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No prob. It is catchy stuff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:15 AM Flag
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You mean the corridos? You're an ignorant old lady. But you know this, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Do the SAHM haters hate middle class SAHMs just as much as rich SAHMS? Is it equal hate all around or is it mainly due to the stereotype that they are wealthy that they get hated on so much? We live a very middle class life. I plan to be a lifetime SAHM. I have two graduate degrees from top schools but career has just never been more important to me than family time. Sure the kids won't need me every day after school, but I want to be 100% sure I can be there for them on the days that something does go wrong, like they get bullied or don't make the school play or a mean girls says DD can't sit with them at lunch 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:06 AM Flag
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It's more directed at either very wealthy women who are just lazy (i.e, the types that have a FT nanny and tons of help and are like, "Why shouldn't I hire someone to shadow me all day and cut my food into bite-sized pieces for me? It makes my life so much easier!") or the "attachment" moms that think they have to stay home because day care/nanny is traumatic for dc's, i.e. the "How can you call yourself a parent when you aren't feeding your dc 3 organic home-cooked meals a day?" types. Most SAHM's obviously don't fall into these categories. I also suspect many of the people who do come across like the two groups I've described are trolls or at least attention whores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:15 AM Flag
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You aren't helping your case by the I can be there for them' comment. It suggests that WOHMs can't always be there for DC. Nothing could be further from at least my truth - DD can call or text me anytime I'm not at home and it's rare I have an overnight business trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Why are people who went to Princeton so arrogant? I don't see this people who went to other ivies. But Princeton grads seem to namedrop right and left. I just met this woman who mentioned no less than 5 times in the course of 30 minutes how she did her masters at Princeton. I went to Columbia, and never mentioned it in that conversation. Maybe something about living in NYC just makes you more humble whereas people at Princeton never really get a chance to overcome their superiority complex. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:00 AM Flag
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Know some Princeton people. They're OK. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
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undergrad alumni/ae don't do this. my guess is that she went to a mediocre college/uni and is using p'ton to shore herself up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:06 AM Flag
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I have found Harvard grads are the worst, followed by Yale. The Princeton grads I have know have been non braggadocios and otherwise pleasant to be around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:06 AM Flag
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There are always the folks who lived on that special Jefferson quad at UVA - they are second to havard for me. (I live in DC so probably more exposure to this group). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:09 AM Flag
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I think the Yale ones are the most braggy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:07 AM Flag
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I remember learning that there was such thing as Princeton and that people who cared about it believed there was such thing as HYP, instead of just Harvard 1 and Yale 2. I was shocked. Still a little shocked. I think that level of respect for HYP is NYC-specific. Not that the degree and network aren't well worth the money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:11 AM Flag
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Yes, living in NYC makes you really humble. Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:11 AM Flag
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Because it's a tiny school and really has nothing other than undergrad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] I have been feeling bored and wanting to dye a piece of my hair pink or blue or something. I know this is so not cool for a 40 year old. Anything else similar I could do? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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Get lash extensions. I'm like you. Always want to change my hair or do something but I'm an old mom now and can't keep piercing my ears lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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Find a Halloween costume where the hair would be appropriate and do it for just the day then wash it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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red or just really dark brown - just a piece, it'll look cool. what color is your hair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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Medium brown. You don't think I'd look like a tool? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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super dark brown or black then. I personally like people who look a little different and, if you can swing it professionally, do it. If you are a SAHM, def do it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:03 AM Flag
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np: I think it would look like you are trying too hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:03 AM Flag
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You will look like a tool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:08 AM Flag
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Meh, I think it's great for old ladies. I have been waiting to go gray enough that I can hit the Manic Panic without bleaching. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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Mom at kid's school has hot pink stripe in her platinum blond hair. It looks stupid, as if she's trying too hard to be cool. She craves attention, never in healthy ways. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:16 AM Flag
[ - ] DD is starting K next week. She is excited but really nervous. Lots of behavior stuff like sassy mouth, a few tantrums and the bedtime anxiety. She used to be a dream at bed and now, ugh. Any tips for smoothing out this transition? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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Don't talk about new school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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Time. Time will help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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My DD also starting K is the opposite. She is so excited that she is being less stubborn and way more agreeable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:22 AM Flag
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Very normal. Just try and be comforting to her and go with the flow. My DD started K a few weeks ago and also acted in very similar way right before lots of regressing etc. Try and talk through what's making her nervous. We read a few starting kindergarten books that were fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
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Very normal. Just try and be comforting to her and go with the flow. My DD started K a few weeks ago and also acted in very similar way right before lots of regressing etc. Try and talk through what's making her nervous. We read a few starting kindergarten books that were fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] DC started half day preschool so don't need a full time nanny. I want to hire someone just for afternoon but can't figure out drop off. DH starts work too early to do it and I can usually do it but I travel a bunch so there are definitely days I can't make it. What do i do? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:53 AM Flag
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Do you have a high school student nearby who could do it as needed? Or retired neighbor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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OP: love this idea but it's not just taking dc to school, it would be getting him ready too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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You are not in a position to give up your full time nanny. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
[ - ] I miss having sex. DH having erectile probs and won't take the pills 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:51 AM Flag
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What's your address? I'll send mine over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:57 AM Flag
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Mine too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:16 AM Flag
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I can send teenage son [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:16 AM Flag
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Why not? Doesn't he know sex is a normal part of marriage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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Why not? Doesn't he know sex is a normal part of marriage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:59 AM Flag
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Would he try herbal pills? There is one called Yohimbe that works very well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:15 AM Flag
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Maybe he has diabetes, or early onset pre-diabetes. Nobody talks about it but diabetes = ed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:17 AM Flag
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He could be gay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
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I miss having sex too. DH can get hard but can't stay very hard and prefers instead hand jobs and blow jobs. How old is your DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone married have a an affair with a married man whose children are friends and we go out often as friends (small town)? I'm infatuated with a friend's DH (I know, shame on me. Pls don't flame) and when we go out as a couple once in awhile I catch him looking at me. Am I being silly? Neither of us have made any obvious moves (except once when we were at a party and I was very touchy feely but was that way with everyone). Just thinking about it. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:49 AM Flag
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Go out and get a real life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:51 AM Flag
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That sounds like such a great idea! Things like that almost always work out, and the kids never get hurt. It's really fun when your mommy is sleeping with your BFF's father. Go for it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:52 AM Flag
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Op: not BFF. Far from it. More like an acquaintance. Our dcs in same nursery school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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Oh, well if they are not friends but just acquaintances, I guess it takes some of the fun out of it, but I still think it sounds like a good idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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NP: Same answer applies. This is wicked double shitty for the kids. Elementally throws off their sense of place in their family and community, their sense of your integrity, and it's socially toxic for them when it gets out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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Op: this is all assuming that people will find out. Many affairs start and end and no one ever knows. I'm not looking to break up a family, as I have my own and don't intend on that either. Oh, DHs also work at same firm. Again, small world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:00 AM Flag
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Wow. Dh married an idiot and probably doesn't even know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:08 AM Flag
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Go for it then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:09 AM Flag
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Silly? Not the word I'd choose. Get a grip [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:53 AM Flag
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Do not go down this road. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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you have been posting about this trying to get people to say the DH is interested in you. find another hobby. what you're considering is childish, immoral, and will not end well. time to be a grown up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:07 AM Flag
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I hate those types. His approval should not be the deciding factor for your comfort level [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
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I'm just going to leave this right here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html?_r=0 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:08 AM Flag
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To OP: If you ever did this to me, you would not get out in one piece. Just saying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:08 AM Flag
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Yeah sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:23 AM Flag
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Bet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
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Zzzzz this is ancient [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:23 AM Flag
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No one said it was Breaking News. It's relevant to what the OP posted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Started Metformin today and so far no side effects. Can I expect the same from clomid? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
TTC 09.04.15, 12:44 AM Flag
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Im on Metformin too! What are you taking it for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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I have PCOS. Fertility specialist wants me on Metformin 1 cycle before we start clomid. TTC for over a year now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:05 AM Flag
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Isn't metfromin for type 2 diabetes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:02 AM Flag
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it is for insulin resistance. I'm not diabetic but am borderline, have PCOS and am TTC for ever a year now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:04 AM Flag
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You will likely lose about 5 pounds as a result. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:12 AM Flag
[ - ] What would you wear to a wedding this weekend? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:36 AM Flag
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Depends on where it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:37 AM Flag
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Beach, cocktail attire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:42 AM Flag
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What's the venue and time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:39 AM Flag
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5ish, beach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:42 AM Flag
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I would buy whatever summer dress on massive reduction at jcrew that fit me when I went to the store tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:46 AM Flag
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Good plan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:49 AM Flag
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I don't necessarily even have to buy something new. I have some dresses. I'll see if I can post one I am considering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:53 AM Flag
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Reception is on the beach too? I'd wear a cottony summer dress and sparkly sandals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:48 AM Flag
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I assume in a hall? i have no idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:51 AM Flag
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Would I be the one getting married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:41 AM Flag
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No. You are an old cat lady. Hoping to meet a potential suitor at the event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:42 AM Flag
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A yellow/mustard silk/chiffon dress [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:42 AM Flag
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I'm not sure yellow is my color. I have red hair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:14 AM Flag
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is yours really this short on you? I'm no prude but, might not be appropriate for a wedding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:10 AM Flag
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I am only 5'3. I do not find it to be short on me at all. I just don't know if it is too casual? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:13 AM Flag
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^That model is 5'8, so she has 5 inches on me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:13 AM Flag
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It is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:20 AM Flag
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How about the other one? I have two blue ralph lauren cocktail dresses. SHould I just wear those? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:26 AM Flag
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like that one better. cute stuff on that Revolve site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Well this sucks. Last year one mom made a fb message group for parents in dd's 2nd grade class. I just learned she made a second, secret group for everyone else except me and about four other moms. They didn't want us to know when they planned certain get togethers. This is real, these are real women in their 30s and 40s doing this to other women. Everyone likes to preach inclusion and anti bullying, but when the rubber meets the road, adults still get to be assholes. 37 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:34 AM Flag
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Yes, I encounter assholes every day. Blows my mind, so just need to focus on my own issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:35 AM Flag
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Just get over it. You don't want to be their friends and they don't want to be yours. There's a FB group for the class for things pertaining to the children. The other mothers can socialize with whomever they want, whenever they want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:37 AM Flag
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#thatreallysucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:37 AM Flag
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sucks but that's the way of the world. we are social animals. social structures cannot be built without a pecking order. and i would prob be included in that exclusion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:39 AM Flag
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do you really know that's why she made the 2nd group - to exclude you? so hard to believe, although I don't put anything past anyone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:39 AM Flag
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Totally awful. You have to totally take the high road though. Don't say a word, if someone asks you if you know, say yes and don't let them pull you into saying bad things about her. Come here and post awful things about her, but in real life, only the high road. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:40 AM Flag
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Good advice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:53 AM Flag
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How can you become a better person with whom people would want to socialize? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:43 AM Flag
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Signed, one of the moms who excluded you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:22 AM Flag
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This has to be a joke. No way OP can be seriously upset about this. Troll! Flagged & collapsed. Try again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:45 AM Flag
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Is this about you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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OMG. what a piece of work she must be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:46 AM Flag
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Curious, you think 5 moms were excluded from a class of how many? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:52 AM Flag
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There are bitches everywhere. Let it be. You are better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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Interesting that OP is getting shocked responses from both ends, "I can't believe your acquaintance did this" and "I can't believe you care." While I would hate to be OP, I'm with the OR who says other moms can socialize with whoever they want to. They're just trying to keep themselves sane. OP, if you are right about the ratios of people on these lists (4/5 or 5/6 of the class is on that smaller second list, and only a few are not?), then this edges into legitimate beef for terrible behavior on their part. Instead of just legitimate beef for "you assholes hurt my feelings." Whichever it is, you have come to the right place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:55 AM Flag
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Can't stand women. Flame away. Men don't do this shit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:56 AM Flag
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Men deal with whom they please and don't get called toxic for it. You don't have to be a perfect sweetheart just because you have a vagina. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
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They do deal with whom they please; they don't set up 2 Facebook groups though- one to appear inclusive and then one to exclude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:03 AM Flag
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Think of their office email vs. their overlapping fantasy football email. Fantasy football list does not include Robert. Nobody cares. Robert turns out to be MRA activist seeding posts on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:13 AM Flag
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If Robert wants to put his money in to the fantasy football league they let him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:16 AM Flag
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Stop the madness! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:18 AM Flag
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You are stupid. The fantasy football list will have three out of a group of fifteen, not 20 out of a group of 25. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:16 AM Flag
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You are stupid. The fantasy football list will have three out of a group of fifteen, not 20 out of a group of 25. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:16 AM Flag
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This. And they won't sit around saying things like, "I mean...I don't hate Robert, but I just don't think we much in common, you know? He just seems so...awkward, or something? I mean, I feel bad because he means well and clearly has no social life, but I just really don't want him to have my personal email, tee hee!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:22 AM Flag
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Yeah ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
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MRA doesn't exist. Stop trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:25 AM Flag
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How many people total are involved here? 12, or, like, 28? If it's 7-8 moms in the group and 5 not, I could see that, if it's a group of 22, 23 women specifically excluding 5 women, that's verging on insane, and I'd bet it's the work of one nutty bitch, maybe two, and the others were just like, "...OK, whatever, I'll join," without thinking about the exclusion part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:05 AM Flag
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OP: there were 23 kids in dd's second grade class. Of those, I know two of us were excluded for sure, and another mom excluded said it was five moms. The other mom who knew for sure was told by someone in the secret group that they didn't want to have to worry about special needs or allergies (my dd) when planning group get togethers. One spectrum kid excluded, one sensory girl, one very gifted girl, and two add boys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:12 AM Flag
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You are so better off without them. These people truly lack empathy. Head high and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:17 AM Flag
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Do you live in the burbs? This is the best reason I have ever seen to not move there, if you do. I am so sorry. What witches. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:18 AM Flag
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Oh, ugh. Sorry. I still think this was probably the work of a couple of control freaks and a lot of the others didn't really know what they were getting into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:18 AM Flag
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It is legitimate to exclude special needs kids from some get togethers. Come on, you never said it was for this reason [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:21 AM Flag
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Troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:22 AM Flag
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The OP originally made it sound like the moms were being excluded because of their mom characteristics. Instead what is going on is the kids are excluded [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:22 AM Flag
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Wait. Inclusion cannot be forced on adults. Adults have the right to pick And choose their friends. Your child being in class with my child does don't mean I need to socialize with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:23 AM Flag
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Technically this is true but I also think you're not really getting the level of immaturity and self-centeredness here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
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Is this Westchester? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you tip people who own businesses that come to your house (having our car deep cleaned in our driveway right now) individual not a company. I know the rule of thumb for salon etc. TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:34 AM Flag
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Why aren't you cleaning your own car? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:35 AM Flag
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because she doesn't have to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:40 AM Flag
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No, I never tip business owners directly, only people working under them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:36 AM Flag
[ - ] I feel like ub can be so helpful. I just spent the evening with someone on the opposite side of almost every adult life choice and because of ib i totally understood all her coded language 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:31 AM Flag
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Example? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:33 AM Flag
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Oh the "oh i could never leave my kids for that long" because dh and i are going on a trip. Or some weight related dogs like if you arent skinny you must see yourself as gross [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:48 AM Flag
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Digs. Like fat women can't feel sexy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:49 AM Flag
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Verbatim right here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:36 AM Flag
[ - ] Great. DH took the day off to go to the beach house early. I just got here and he is druuuunk. First words to me when I get in the door are "SIL [his brother's wife] is a FAT, OLD, BITCH!" FWIW, she's younger than he is and is like a size 6 at most. Oh, and also she's also sitting outside and the door is open. He has no idea where 13 yo and 15 yo are or if they've eaten dinner. I just want to turn around and go back to the city. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:31 AM Flag
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Drinking is drugging. Sad but true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:33 AM Flag
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Wow you sure married a winner! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:34 AM Flag
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And this is why I am not getting married. Is he at least wealthy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:34 AM Flag
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that's stupid. dh is the nicest guy in the world. you always get a clue. even op, she got an inkling somewhere that she either accepted as being minor or ignored. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:41 AM Flag
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You maybe found the needle in the haystack. Please enjoy it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:43 AM Flag
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No, you always get a clue. Remember to always be with someone who's nice to EVERYBODY, not just you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:53 AM Flag
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But it can be impossible to find that person. Most guys aren't even nice to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:58 AM Flag
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What. You're crazy. You're on UB. That already puts you in likely top quartile for intellect and looks. Are you one of these women who are too nice? That attracts assholes sometimes. If you need to lose some weight, do. Wish you luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:06 AM Flag
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my, my... why is he calling her that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:35 AM Flag
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I'm afraid to ask. Especially while she's at the house. When she goes back to her house tn I might ask him. Or I might smother him to death with a pillow. Undecided. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:43 AM Flag
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Ask first, then smother. Once you've smothered, you'll never have the answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:45 AM Flag
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Lol good point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:47 AM Flag
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he is prob not going to remember the episode. be nice to sil. try to have a good weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:45 AM Flag
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You're right. He doesn't do this often, but when he does it's always the same. He wakes up and pretends like he's not hungover/he didn't drink that much. Then when you subtly slip in "Do you remember...?" it's obvious he has no recollection of anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:50 AM Flag
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He probably does recall at least some of it, but he doesn't want to admit it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:53 AM Flag
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WOW! I wonder what happened between him and his brother's wife? It's not necessarily romantic......It could be anything. I wonder if she bad-mouthed him or did something to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:50 AM Flag
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My thoughts are: she made a comment/bad-mouthed him, his brother, the kids, or me, or at least said something that he took to be bad-mouthing. But I have no idea. She and I are lukewarm but there is no excuse for 1) ever calling a woman a "fat old bitch" or 2) being rude to guests- especially when they are sitting in earshot. I am mortified. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
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Perhaps he put some drunken moves on her,and she was offended. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:24 AM Flag
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FWIW - sometimes I wish my DH drank. He doesn't drink at all and is totally tense and uptight a lot of the time. Sometimes I wish I could spike his water. There's an upside to having a drunken husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:36 AM Flag
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I'd say he just needs to exercise. Drunken people (when the other isn't drunk) are rarely fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:38 AM Flag
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When he drinks with me he is hilarious and loving (even if I haven't been drinking). When he drinks with his brother he is a monster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:44 AM Flag
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So there's something going on with this brother and his brother's wife that he's tense about. And the drinking just releases that. Do you know what that's all about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:48 AM Flag
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They had some serious marital problems about 5 years ago, and he has not been a huge fan of her since, but I don't know what could have brought this up tonight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:04 AM Flag
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Did he make a pass at her, and she said no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:49 AM Flag
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NP- to me, it sounds like she either spurned his advances at one point, or did something else that was nasty to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:52 AM Flag
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Maybe she suggested he was drinking too much or that perhaps he should know where his children are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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Me,too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:25 AM Flag
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I don't think so. I guess it could theoretically be possible, but he's not a fan of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:11 AM Flag
[ - ] What are some good websites for my research analyst boyfriend to look for a new job? He says indeed and other sites like that are just head hunters. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:29 AM Flag
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LinkedIn/networking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:31 AM Flag
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Research analyst - like market research??? Is he looking for companies like Nielsen? Does he do primary or secondary research? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:38 AM Flag
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Np: im guessing Research Analyst in Finance... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:41 AM Flag
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Op: finance. And he has experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:41 AM Flag
[ - ] I feel like I have a veal child. Almost 9 yo ds is very sensitive. He cries about EVERYTHING - when his 7 yo brother annoys him, "pressure" from school (normal assignments, nothing we impose), having to go on a dog walk w/ me or grocery store. Hates getting too hot/sweaty, wearing ANY shirt/pants with buttons, taking a shower (possible mild sensory issues?) and is sort of low energy. Dh and I are on the edge of being insensitive about all of it but, he's really hard to parent. He threw a fit today when I wanted him to wear a super soft shirt w/ a few buttons to meet new teacher. 30 yrs ago he would have just been forced to behave differently - I want to sympathize but not feel like I'm raising a total wimp. Wdyt? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:28 AM Flag
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He definitely has some sensory issues and could benefit from occupational therapy. Has he been evaluated? He's not just being annoying - sounds like there there's other stuff going on that can be dealt with. Also, maybe sign him up for karate to boost his confidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:30 AM Flag
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I'm a PT but never considered OT for this, although I know they deal w/ these issues. He took tae kwon do for about 3 yrs and recently dropped out. Awesome program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:37 AM Flag
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30 years ago (okay, almost 45 years ago) my parents made me do this stuff. I had some sensory issues in retrospect and still have them. I hated it and it changed the way I approach life. Your kid is not veal, he is just not a conformist and it's good he speaks up for himself. Hopefully he'll grow up and be someone with something to contribute, instead of yes man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:32 AM Flag
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thanks for not saying I'm a total bitch. After I wrote the post, I felt like one. Do you mean, the way your parents treated you made you change the way you approach life or your sensory issues? If so, how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:36 AM Flag
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OR: well, without telling my whole life story, I engagaed in a lot of unhealthy things to sort of numb the problem. I'm older and it took many years of addressing the issue to finally overcome. It's just real simple stuff, like avoiding situations where I'm uncomfortable (that's more of an anxiety thing) to learning not to care about "appropriateness" with clothes. I'm not slob! But, I had to work on finding things that didn't making me uncomfortable, even silly stuff, right down to fabric. It's so weird, I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:41 AM Flag
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What does this even mean? How did it change your approach to life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:40 AM Flag
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It means I didn't feel I needed to do everything that people think I should do (including my parents). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:43 AM Flag
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what do you mean by veal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:38 AM Flag
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op - it's a term I've only seen on here. people use it to mean "wimpy, coddled, can't think for themselves" - I'm sure I could describe it better. Anyone else want to chime in here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:41 AM Flag
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You've got it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:57 AM Flag
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Have you had him tested? No expert at all but DF's DC was re dnt,y diagnosed as having Aspbergers ...believe some similar symptoms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:43 AM Flag
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Aside from clothing does he have any other issues? I don't think you gave the full picture as he wouldn't be so hard to parent if he just wore clothing he is ok with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:43 AM Flag
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op - didn't give the whole pic as post was getting long. He is outright mean to younger bro (who is so nice and generous), feels like the world is against him, everything that happens to him is unfair, has a hard time w/ friendships, doesn't take responsibility for ANYTHING he does - is a major blamer...it's laughable what he will blame on others, and then there's all the sensory stuff and the crying. He's really challenging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:52 AM Flag
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There seem to be a lot of issues and they aren't necessarily related. Why do you think sensory issues have anything to do with his mean manipulative behavior? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:12 AM Flag
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If you have time, read "Highly Sensitive Child." Don't feel like you have to match the type perfectly for the advice to apply -- it's just good advice for this kind of kid, and good to get a sense that there are a lot of kids out there with similar traits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:45 AM Flag
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op - I really, really need to read something, you are right. It's frustrating to see so many of his peers who seem to effortlessly have friends, play sports, do their homework, etc. and just act like normal kids - sort of like my 7 yo. I'm sure there are lots of others like him but to me it seems like he's the only one. Know what I mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:54 AM Flag
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That book estimates it's maybe 15-20 % of people? If you and DH are not like this, then it's a "horizontal" identity. Bear with me, but that's "horizontal" = one generation of friends seeking each other out vs. "vertical" down through your family tree = race, culture, alcoholism, just kidding. So a horizontal identity is sort of isolating. Your parents can't figure out who you are. His friend group, when he finds one, might be really important. Do not fear D&D. If he's a dork, let him dork out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:06 AM Flag
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op - so funny. he's a total science, dork kid (although so is dh). ds loves D&D, Minecraft (well, along w/ a billion other kids), and other related things. I'm not a fan but am trying to understand him better. I'm a total outside person, athletic, nature lover. very interesting about horiz vs. vertical. how do you know about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:14 AM Flag
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It's s useful term, but the book I got it from is extra-large and I do not especially recommend it, Andrew Solomon's Far From the Tree. Our 5 y.o. DS matching your description can be coaxed outdoors, and really benefits from that, but also behaves much better when given a lot of time to do lego/puzzle activities. Like alone time is a food group. We're trying to throw his sleep sched around so he can still play alone before K on school days. Sounds weird but I want to try it. Also on night table not being read: Peaceful Parent, Siblings Without Rivalry, Quiet, and for good measure Eat Pray Love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:25 AM Flag
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I think it's a combination of your dc having real issues and you playing into it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 12:49 AM Flag
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op - I really don't play into it - I actually don't think I've been sensitive about it at all. When dc complains about being wet (sensory issues), I just say things like, "you'll be fine" and change the subject. Sort of ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.04.15, 01:01 AM Flag
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