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[ - ] I am looking for people with experience with respect to Gracie Square Hospital in NYC for inpatient and outpatient therapy afterwards. Beloved family member attempted suicide (age 24). Any other inpatient facilities you can recommend would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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No experience with Gracie Square, but my condolences. When I was a senior in college, I walked in on my roommate/best friend's suicide attempt. It's been a long road, but we're now 25/26 and she is employed and in outpatient care. Best of luck, my thoughts and prayers are with your family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know anyone who lives in Parkchester in the Bronx? It looks like a nice community. The number 6 train goes there. Is that a safe train? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:40 PM Flag
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darkchester [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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I live not far away, in the pelham parkway area, which I think is nicer. Parkchester is a 20 min walk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:54 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o how would you feel about your DS marrying a girl who was hell-bent on living a certain lifestyle, but was willing to work for it herself? Would you be concerned if a potential DIL was TOO career-focused? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:40 PM Flag
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That's my SIL, and yes I'd be concerned if DS married a girl like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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Wouldn't be my business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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It is your business, especially once grand child comes along [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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No, it's not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:44 PM Flag
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Ok girl mom! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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It would be my business (well, not really, but I'd make it my business) if person was a drunk, druggie or criminal. Otherwise not my business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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Even then it is not your business. My MIL is great because she steps back all the time. She always says "it is up to you, it is your family and your choice." I hope to be just like her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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One of the smartest things I ever did for my mental health and my marriage was to very bluntly tell mil to back off about 6 months after we got married. After I did, she sent me whiny email asking what she should do if she had "information" or advice for me. I told her I'd be sure to ask if I needed her advice or info. She's still pretty bad, but we live 2500 miles apart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:51 PM Flag
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My MIL never made it her business, and I hope to be that way as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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I would not be bothered by this either way. Just let her be low maintenance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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I would worry she would want to SAH, and resent my DS if she had to keep working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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What if she were a Marissa Mayer-type ballbuster and you were quite sure that her satisfaction came more from the high-powered career than the rest of the lifestyle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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That's totally fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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So IOW, every other 'TT DH' that these women on UB strive for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:55 PM Flag
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As long as he was happy, I wouldn't give a shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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No, I hope I raise sons who value being involved parents themselves and would support their DWs career. I also hope DH and I will be retired and able to babysit! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:46 PM Flag
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No. The kids will work it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:46 PM Flag
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These posts are laughable. I hope my dss marry someone compatible with them. Beyond that what business is it of mine what my dil does and thinks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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You do not sound ready to be a MIL. I hope your children are young, because you are not nearly judgmental enough yet! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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No, if she wanted it and would work for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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I'd prefer that to a woman he had to take care of. I only care that DIL is a loving wife to my son. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I do not want to work any more. Flame away. DH's (who has much better and advanced degrees than I do) response: nobody wants to work. WTF. His brother earns less and has a less stable job, but his DW didn't think twice about SAH, because it's too hard to work and raise a baby. In fact, none of the women in his family can handle a baby and job. Now I see why - it's a lot of juggling and work. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:38 PM Flag
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Yep, and a bunch of us manage to do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:40 PM Flag
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OP I do it and do not complain to friends or family, but I'm really, really getting overwhelmed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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Must also mention that I feel like too many "balls" are dropping. Maybe I am too hard on myself... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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It is overwhelming, but you get into routines and ackwolege that some things don't get done. It is hardest when the kids are very young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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^^acknowledge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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I'm right there with tou. And I'm unhappy at work right now, too, which makes it worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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This. But shit it's hard sometimes. Not starting a SAH/WOH war because I've done both and both are hard, but the juggling and constantly feeling like you're not doing a good enough job at anything no matter how hard you try makes WOH the harder gig IMHO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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I responded further above (original OR) but as I think back, this was such a short period in life. I acknowledge that it is hard but it gets better. Much, much better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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You nailed it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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I couldn't do it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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HHI? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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OP. THe more people tell me this (that they couldn't do it), the more sh*tty I feel about my situation and the BS I put up with at work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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OR: well, we have 3 kids under the age of 5. Plus, DH works long hrs, from 7am - 5:30 on good days. Has to leave at 5:30am. Has 2 client events/dinners per week. If I worked, a) I would make a smidgen of his salary which would go to childcare. b) I would do most of child related things still c) I would still do most house related needs. It would cause more stress that's uneeded. Do I miss working at times... Yes! But do I want all the extra worry and stress, No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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I prefer being a sahm. I've done both and WOHM is rough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:44 PM Flag
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Easy answer - make him take half the work at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:44 PM Flag
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How many dc's, how old and do you have a nanny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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In my situation DH would leave earlier and get home later. I had to do everything in terms of child care, dinner, house, etc. It gets old quickly. I am a SAHM now since this past summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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He's right - nobody wants to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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So you want him to work when you don't want to. Nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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Yeah, no one wants to work. I don't to work anymore either, but I'm also not willing to freeload off of my DH! Thanks, I will keep my job and be able to buy my own clothing, pay half my bills, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:54 PM Flag
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My DH likes my salary, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:55 PM Flag
[ - ] 39yo and wondering about perimenopause. My periods have been much shorter since returning after second baby - about 24-25 days apart vs 29-30 before. Also notice significant bloating around ovulation which never used to happen. Does this sound like perimenopause or just post-baby changes? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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PM can last 10 years, but yeah, you're on that road. If you want another kid, better knock that out quick. Don't wait. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:38 PM Flag
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Thankfully no, we're done. Just wasn't expecting this yet and am dreading learning more about what's in store... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:48 PM Flag
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I'm 44 and have been experiencing these same symptoms for the past 4 yrs. gyn said it's definitely the beginning of perimenopause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:40 PM Flag
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^also, it's been a few years since having babies and the symptoms didn't start soon after I had them, making me think it's more age related. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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Whose institutions don't wish they were Ivies. Weird, striver, judgmental people describe them that way. They're both excellent universities with many terrific programs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Park Children's or Montcalre? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.27.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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Montclare. Too much uncertainty at Park. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:30 PM Flag
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I assume PCDS will be at 76th St. for a while and can attract enough tuition to run break-even. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
[ - ] My dh is always asking me to suck and lick his balls. Are any other wives pestered by these requests? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:27 PM Flag
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Tell him to take it to Craigslist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:27 PM Flag
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Love craigslist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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Omg, yes. Men loves to have their balls licked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:30 PM Flag
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You should do it without his having to ask. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:39 PM Flag
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Absolutely this. I love doing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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I don't mind as long as they're clean and free of hair [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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I do it sometimes. DH also likes me to cup them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone seen Whiplash? Did you like it? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:26 PM Flag
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yes. loved it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:27 PM Flag
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+1. Great movie, great acting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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NP: agreed! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:39 PM Flag
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one of the best movies of the year IMHO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:40 PM Flag
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Eh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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I enjoyed it very much, though the sequences with the teacher were upsetting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Favorite chicken recipe please? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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bethennys roast chicken recipe not even kidding lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:27 PM Flag
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Anything that means I don't have to touch raw chicken. I fucking hate tie it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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^^hate not tie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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Grow up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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You grow up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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me too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:49 PM Flag
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Smitten kitchen chicken milanese [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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Giada's chicken piccata, and A modified version of Emeril's chicken tortilla soup. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Where did you buy your every day dishes and kitchen supplies? I am not talking wedding registry, talking to older people who are replacing things. Thanks. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:24 PM Flag
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Macy's fiesta ware. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:26 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:39 PM Flag
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kitchen supplies from williams sonoma mainly. all clad d5 pots and pans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:26 PM Flag
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my dishes are bernaudaud from bloomingdales [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:26 PM Flag
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Corel has an outlet. We replaced all of our dishes and bowls from there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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williams sonoma and bed bath beyond [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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I think I have yet to buy any dishes. All stuff my mom gave me when I moved out lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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Using the same tin plates I bought at a thrift store in 1984 for $4. My grandmother gave me her 1916 china. My parents give me working appliances (coffee maker/food processor/etc.) as gifts. I think I bought some Pier 1 plates in 1990, when I got married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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bloomingdales [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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Fishes Eddy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:41 PM Flag
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Crate and Barrel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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+1 they are excellent, resist chips, and always available for replacement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:44 PM Flag
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target [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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Amazon Fiestaware. Also bought some discontinued colors on Ebay. I have a huge amount of it, most of which I keep at weekend house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:43 PM Flag
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Pottery Barn, but I don't recommend it. It chips and scratches easily. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:45 PM Flag
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Bloomingdales (Juliska during Friends and Family or Home sales). Williams Sonoma (I bake a lot and really like their gold-touch bakeware). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:47 PM Flag
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crate and barrel poster from above: agree on Williams Sonoma gold touch bakeware. My favorite baking pans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:50 PM Flag
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Have wedding china etc but my favorites dishes are 'Blue plate special' type I got at thrift store. Something comforting about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:50 PM Flag
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I have inherited a ton of stuff, I will never get through it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any support groups in NYC for people who feel mildly traumatized by the whole new parent experience? My baby just turned one and all the other new parents I've met this year seem to have had a "yes I'm tired, maybe it was harder than I expected, but we're trying for #2 next summer!!" experience. DH and I are dead. We love our daughter, but I don't think either of us could physically or emotionally go through this experience again. I have yet to meet anyone who will say similarly. Are there any groups or resources for people whose babies always slept poorly, wouldn't breast feed successfully, had colic and reflux, almost get kicked out of daycare for non stop crying, etc. ... add on almost any other baby issue and we probably had it. I feel like I must be missing out on something, because although there are moments of intense joy, the persistent feeling of failure and lack of sleep greatly diminished the joy I excepted to have. Most people seem to feel the good outweighs the bad. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 01.27.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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No, sometimes you just get a baby that puts a lot on your plate ... Colic is really hard and it is not you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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My friend is like you. Adores her dd but feels she and her dh could not handle another. Intense, high energy, sensitive kid. They are great parents, part of it is that they hold themselves to a crazy high standard and are unusually honest about how hard it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:26 PM Flag
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Ditto. I stopped breastfeeding at 18 months, but kid still woke up in the middle of the night every. god damn. night. until she was almost 4. She is very talkative kid who has intense FOMO so fights sleep persistently. Up until about 15 months old, she would only sleep in 15 to 45 min chunks, after 2 hours of shushing/back rubbing/everything. Tried to Cry it Out at night, but kid cried for 5 hours first night, and was completely hoarse next day. I lived in an apt and knew I had one more night before neighbor got back from weekend away. 2nd night, kid cried for 4.5 hours. The kid was completely enraged -- she knew we were right there, just not coming to her. We finally gave up, let kid sleep in our bed until the kid was about 4, while H and I just had sex on the couch. She finally started sleeping through the night, and within a few months, she was in her own room and own bed. But somewhere around the time the kid was 15 months, H got a vasectomy. Married sex is good, but post-V sex, when you have zero worries = off the charts awesome, btw. If I had to go through that experience with a 2nd kid, I would be completely suicidal. Also, I had a big-ish job and was juggling working outside/inside house with a nanny. The logistics to keep it all going when my baby only slept 12 hours total, in 15 min to 1 hour chunks, from first night back from hospital (all the baby books say expect 15 to 17 hours of sleep from newborn but my effing kid didn't know that's what she was supposed to do) .... my entire plan of how I was going to work my life with the kid got completely thrown off. It seemed like other mothers had bigger jobs and were enjoying their kids, and I was really thinking I completely fucked up my life. I think I finally saw a psychiatrist when kid was 12 months, got diagnosed with PP depression, and medication helped a bit. But it wasn't complete solution, but it made "black" become more "light gray". I just had to get through it all. There is a reason why lack of sleep is considered a crime against humanity, according to the UN. As someone who has been there, find a doctor and try some medication while you go through the first 3 or 4 years, with the potty training and the tantrums and just dealing with irrational baby. It will help you deal with all of this until the kid is older. Just know that when the kid is 4 or 5, it will be MUCH easier -- you can start to reason with the kid, and make kid have quiet time alone for 45 min while you drink a cup of tea and relax for a minute. You will eventually enjoy your life and your kid again. Obviously, the problem isn't the kid. Your brain chemistry could use some support is all while you adjust to the new life. You aren't alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:56 PM Flag
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I'm same as you. I have one and I'm so done. At this age, good outweighs bad, but I'm not going through pregnancy (which I hated) and lack of sleep that comes with having infant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:27 PM Flag
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^^ I'm also very honest about how hard life with dc is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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OP: wish I knew some people around here like you to talk to! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:31 PM Flag
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Google "Post Partum Depression GRoup" in your area. Not that you have PPD, but I think you may find some like minded moms in those groups - offline or off. Many of them experienced a lot of what you describe. I was you after having my first and reading PPD stories helped me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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^^ i mean online or off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:29 PM Flag
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OP: I agree, and I do wonder if it is long-lasting PPD, or if there are others who feel this way but never speak about it. I'm already on the highest dose of my SSRI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:33 PM Flag
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OR: I believe PPD can linger for a few years. GOod luck to you. Like I said I was you. Fast forward 7 years and DD is a doll. A precocious, exhausting child..but a doll :). She's been like that since day 1. And we have another DD. I spaced them 3 years apart. All is well. xo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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You should consider a therapist to help you with the idea that your own feelings arent valid as compared to others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:28 PM Flag
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It's hard to see all these happy moms dragging their quiet / sleeping newborns around when you can not catch a second for yourself. Having a colic / acid reflux baby is enough to drive anyone insane [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:34 PM Flag
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For sure. Not saying there is anything wrong with the OP but OP seems to be judging herself for having different feelings than others who have children your age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:36 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, I'm looking for the right one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:34 PM Flag
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Where do you live ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:37 PM Flag
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there's a great support group in upstate new york. I now it's not helpful for you (sorry), but for women in a similar situation to the OP who live in upstate NY, try New Baby New Paltz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:31 PM Flag
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There should be one. I had a child with colic, screamed all the time. He was a miserable little baby, we could not take him anywhere Bc he always caused a scene! My family even refused to watch him since he was always crying. It was awful but once he got closer to one, he was a little angel and we started trying for number 2. DC 2 also had colic/ reflux so I feel like I never got to enjoy a sweet sleepy little newborn! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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OP: ha, this is my fear, that together DH can only make crazy, difficult babies. I love babies in theory...and other people's babies. Glad your boys got easier! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:42 PM Flag
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I feel like you and my DS is 4 yo. We haven't decided for sure that we are one and done, because in theory I would LOVE to have another DC, but the thought of doing this all over again is so unappealing to me. Absolutely love my DS to pieces but not sure I could handle another one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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^and DS was the easiest baby too in retrospect, so I don't know how moms of colicky babies even cope. I'm sorry OP, it must be really rough. Don't blame yourself for feeling that way at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:34 PM Flag
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I'm not sure but my first was like that and he was 2 before I could even consider a 2nd. Mine are three years apart and my second was super easy. My 1st was a great toddler and is now ten but had every issue...cried constantly, breast feeding issues, reflux, allergies (still has those) but it's kind if a blip on the radar! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Spinoff post - need advice on a very thoughtful gift to send to close colleague at work who just have birth. Any ideas? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:21 PM Flag
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*typo - meant "gave birth" (not ESL, really!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:22 PM Flag
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Personalized baby blanket with DB name and DOB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.27.15, 08:25 PM Flag
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