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[ - ] How long does it take to starve yourself to death? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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10-20 days, depending on variables. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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what if you eat just a little bit each day, just for show [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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This is not drinking water. You won't starve to death in 10 days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
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If you drink water, you won't die for several months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:25 AM Flag
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So it takes a long time? I think it was an accident (not an intentional suicide), but a young woman I know recently died and her mother suspects it was her ED that finally took her life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:27 AM Flag
[ - ] S/O Why do nannies demand to be paid off the books, and yet still expect to be treated as professional? Isn't that inconsistent? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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^^^If they want a contract, why don't they expect a W-2? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Why do finance people engage in fraudulent activities and still expect to be treated as professional? This is human nature most of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Most finance people do not engage in fraud; most nannies are paid off the books. Bogus arguement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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As opposed to your highly important and relevant post? Why are employers stupid enough to say things like, "nanny demanded I pay her in cash, I had no choice"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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My point is, they are not professional. They are the same as day laborers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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I don't approve of the way day laborers are exploited either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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The only reason it's not fraudulent is because they got to write the rules. Let's settle on immoral, then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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Straw man argument. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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SO many nannies are illegal and can't be paid on the books. THen some nannies see they can get welfare benefits if paid off the books. Then other nannies realize that this is how the industry works, and thus prefer to make more in cash than pay taxes on their income. And I am a nanny paid on the books. It is kind of crazy that someone with no education in ECE who barely speaks english has the same take home pay as me. And they get government subsidies. So at the end of the day, that person is probably financially better off than I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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Most families I interview with want an off the books arrangement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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This, employers don't want to pay taxes either. OP makes it sounds like they're being extorted when really it benefits them too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Possibly you do not respond to jobs where they indicate on the books. But in any event, you are cheating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Hard to believe. If working mom, the dependent care credit more than offsets any payroll tax costs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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NP: Market rates are based on off the books wages, so paying on the books costs more, and most families' ethics end where their wallet begins. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:25 AM Flag
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Yes, all these high-earning professional New Yorkers are helpless victims of these nannies "demanding" to be paid off the books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Women who can't manage their nannies correctly always see themselves as some kind of victim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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One doesn't preclude the other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Help me name Honey's brother or sister! Tia 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:13 AM Flag
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Lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:14 AM Flag
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Boo boo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:14 AM Flag
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She was born long before the tv show aired. Her middle name is Star. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Omg you weren't kidding? I thought this was a joke... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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Heaven or Nevaeh, Princess or Prince, Destiny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Apple [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Dragon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Lemon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Frederick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Sebastian [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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I like this. I also like Brook for a boy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Orpheus [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Roland [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Agamemnon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Venus [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Benjamin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Wyatt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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Todd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:18 AM Flag
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Travis [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Luke [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Camilla [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Charlotte [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Daisy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Grace [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Jemima [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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Lucy, Alice, Charles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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Skyler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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Gravy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Petunia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Rose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Violet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Reed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Leif [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Clay [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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Roan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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River [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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Lake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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Jane [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm feeling so depressed. Sometimes I wonder if I should leave New York, or just give up completely. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:09 AM Flag
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nah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 AM Flag
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never give up. if you are unhappy change your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:11 AM Flag
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Don't give up completely. I'm sorry you are feeling this way? If the city is part of the problem, get out. First for a trip ASAP, and make plans for longer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:11 AM Flag
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it's the time of year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:13 AM Flag
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The song says, "IF I can make it there", not "everyone can make it there". It might be time to try something more suited to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:14 AM Flag
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I've made it here. I am more successful professionally than anyone ever thought I could be. But I'm not happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:15 AM Flag
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Then you haven't made it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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I don't think New Yorkers are meant to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:24 AM Flag
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Then you really haven't made it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
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It's a gorgeous day in Los Angeles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:14 AM Flag
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you are lucky, SO COLD here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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I love flyover. Just saying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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I grew up there, and I am too old to move back unfortunately. I wouldn't find the happiness I am seeking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Come to Chicago. We're friendly, we don't really care what you wear or how much you weigh, and it's still enough of a pain in the ass to make it seem like a worthwhile place to live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:24 AM Flag
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Your winter is harsh. I have been offered a job there in the past, it might not be so hard for me to find work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
[ - ] Mom of two college aged ds and wouldn't insult either of them by discussing the Vandy case. I care no more about that than any other crime in the news. Boring. 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:01 AM Flag
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You don't talk about the news? What do you talk about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:04 AM Flag
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They're in college so we don't have daily conversations. When we talk, it's about classes, summer plans, jobs, their lives. Not some random ginned-up UB hysteria bandwagon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:06 AM Flag
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That's how you view current events? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:07 AM Flag
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Probably what the parents of some of these guys thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:09 AM Flag
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So, there was a murder in the news a couple of weeks ago. Did you discuss that with your children and remind them not to murder anyone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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That is just sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:06 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:07 AM Flag
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totally normal to discuss a big story involving college with kids who are at college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:07 AM Flag
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Why would this be "insulting" to them? I'm confused. Do they somehow identify with the attackers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:07 AM Flag
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Evidently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:08 AM Flag
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She trusts her sons have enough decency not to need to be told "oh and by the way, don't drug and gang-rape your girlfriends" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 AM Flag
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What part gave you that impression? The "boring" or the "ginned-up hysteria"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:14 AM Flag
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And don't forget that it's boring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:15 AM Flag
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This. We're the same way. We raised our children to have morals and ethics, and to treat other people well. We don't sit them down for a "lesson" every time there's a mugging, murder, or other crime in the news, and a rape is no different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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But there are still lessons to be learned- like "You shouldn't sit there and watch a girl being dragged down a hallway and do nothing" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:18 AM Flag
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Do your adult children actually need to be told this? If so, you failed as a parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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+1 It's like Justin's Dad said: "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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Apparently every single person in that dorm needed to learn that lesson. I'm sure their parents thought "My kid is ethical and moral, he doesn't need to be told this", but guess what? They were all wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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This...people want to bury their heads and pretend...not my son...when really IT IS their son. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:24 AM Flag
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Lol if you feel like you have to tell your child not to do something like that, you are likely a terrible parent and they are a terrible child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:25 AM Flag
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I can understand how it would be uncomfortable, and I can understand how I might prefer DH to have conversation, but I do not understand why insulting or even voring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:08 AM Flag
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What's something that goes without saying to you? How would you feel if someone said to you, "I know you're a new mother, so let me remind you, don't drop your baby out of a window." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:18 AM Flag
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Hi, Mrs. Vandenburg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:09 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 AM Flag
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+1. lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 AM Flag
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You jumped the shark with the "boring" at the end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 AM Flag
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You don't understand what 'jumped the shark' means. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Hmm, so you're a mother of rapists, presumably. How great do you feel? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:15 AM Flag
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SERIOUSLY???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:22 AM Flag
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Np- I taught my children not to talk to strangers since the time they were toddlers. The oldest was a junior or senior in HS when the Natalee Holoway story broke. You bet your ass I talked to her about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:27 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:13 AM Flag
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I tell you what. I'll sit down my kid and tell him to not be a gang rapist when you sit down your daughter and tell her not to be a drugged out coke whore sucking old mens' dicks for $60 in the back of limosuines. Because I read that some girls do that. Fair enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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Go back to your MRA websites. Jesus! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:25 AM Flag
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How do drugged out coke whores sucking old mens' dicks in the back of limos impact your sons? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:25 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
[ - ] What does NOKD mean? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:56 PM Flag
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It means we don't like new people so we developed our own language [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Thanks for the chuckle. But seriously I am an oldtimer, back from a long hiatus. Don't know how I can get addicted to UB again if I don't speak the language. t [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:00 AM Flag
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not our kind dear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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Yes, but there is some striverish poster who uses it all the time and inappropriately. My suspicion is her husband works in IT at Goldman and she lives in a postwar rental in Yorkville, but likes to tell people her husband works at Goldman Sachs and they live on UES [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:18 AM Flag
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I like modern homes as long as they aren't mcmansions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Help me. How do I stop caring about my husbands weight? He was chubby, lost thirty pounds, and has now gained it back. He is very unhappy about it but he has this odd way of asking me to help him diet and the exploding at me for monitoring his eating. I know I need to just let him do whatever he is gong to do. But this is hard for me to do. I almost wish h e had never lost the weight. - 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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Help him help himself. No more "bad" food in the house. Join a family activity together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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This. Talking about it helps no one - if it did, we'd all be skeletal. Stock the kitchen with healthy food, cook/order healthy dinners if you're in charge of meal planning, eat healthy foods when you're around him, do something active on date night instead of going out to dinner. My dh got me into working out simply because he was clearly having so much fun with it and it all spiraled from there. If he had nagged me, I would have rebelled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:06 AM Flag
[ - ] My neighbor smokes pot every night and the smell gets into my apartment and it really disturbs my child. What can I do? I have notified the doormen and the management. They are doing nothing about it 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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Veal child. Pot should have the opposite effect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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It does not disturb your child. It bugs you, because you "follow the rules" and get peeved when other people get away with not following the rules, and you're using your child as an excuse to be petty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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This. EOF [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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np- what is EOF? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:00 AM Flag
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Enemy of Fun [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:01 AM Flag
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Man, a lot of young dudes on here tonight. Not surprising for time of day and weekend, I guess. Still odd you'd be on a mom's board, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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Are you under the impression that women never have any fun? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:27 AM Flag
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How does it disturb your child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:56 PM Flag
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He sleeps too deep and he seems too relaxed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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Eats too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:01 AM Flag
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He has asthma. He is two. I can see his attack coming. Have to give him inhaler [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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I don't buy this at all. Live in CA, pot smoke everywhere. No way the neighbors smoke is causing as asthma attack. Besides you would've said it right off the bat not that he's "disturbed" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:00 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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Are you in a non-smoking building? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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Ignore the drug degenerate moms. If your child has asthma and management isn't taking any action, contact law enforcement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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+1. Get the guy arrested. And fuck these kids on here. Deadbeats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:17 AM Flag
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That happened with my neighbor too. It was awful and my living room smelled like weed ALL the time. I reported it and eventually our building adopted a comprehensive no-smoking policy. It's gotten much better since then. Good luck. It sucks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:05 AM Flag
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where is your building? we want to move there. awesome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:13 AM Flag
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call the cops [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:13 AM Flag
[ - ] Any stutterers on? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:51 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:53 PM Flag
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That's "y-y-y-y-es" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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ha ha ha lol lol wow ahmaaaaazing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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OP: I'm tired of trying to hide mine. It's exhausting. What's your experience? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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I also just recently gave up trying to hide it. Planning on taking an intensive at AIS (American Institute for Stuttering). Been meeting with a therapist there and it has really changed my feelings about stuttering. I would recommend contacting them if in NYC. It's been liberating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:05 AM Flag
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OP - thanks. I fear the therapy is to stutter overtly (my greatest fear). How did/do you hide your stutter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:09 AM Flag
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awkward speech, shyness, speaking too fast, not talking. I have just learned to stutter freely. I do a lot of public speaking so this was hard. It has also helped with my relationship with DH as he understands why it takes me longer to respond when arguing. I know its hard, but I think it's worth meeting with someone about it. It's really freeing. People who mock us or think we are not smart are not relevant. I wish you luck with this. It's a big step. How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:20 AM Flag
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FWIW the worst thing is not being heard, as opposed to having a stutter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
[ - ] S/O: last night my 14yo DD looked after for her 11yo brother and 3yo sister til 2am while DH & I were out with my parents. It's NBD, older siblings used to help out like this all the time. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:49 PM Flag
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Is this no longer considered normal? My oldest is 7, but as he gets older I absolutely will expect him to babysit his younger siblings when I run errands etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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Most errands do not last till 2 am. But yes, we cannot expect boys to do as much as girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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No one hear talks about boys sitting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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Why should that translate to "we cannot expect boys to do as much"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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Expect all you want, but it doesn't seem to happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:04 AM Flag
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That's up to the parents. If you're not holding your sons up to a reasonable level of family responsibility, simply because you think other people don't "expect it", you are a bad parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:13 AM Flag
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14 =/= 9 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:51 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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exactly this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:08 AM Flag
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Why is it we only hear posts about girls having to do this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:51 PM Flag
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I just posted above, I will expect my oldest (ds) to do this when he's old enough. My older brother used to babysit us all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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Because I had a daughter first. When my son is 13 he can sit for my youngest dc too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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But no one seems to post about that. Seems that it never happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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No, you just ignore those posts in favor of your bias [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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Nope, no such posts. All about "expecting" boys to sit, not that they do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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Sounds fine to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:53 PM Flag
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Totally normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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When I was 14, I was babysitting for 5 kids. And got paid $1 an hour. Did the 14 yr. old stay in LR, even if she fell asleep? Of course it's fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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She went to bed. 3yo slept in with her so that she could keep an eye on her. 11yo sleeps in the next room. He sleepwalks, but dd could have called us if it became an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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She'll probably get pregnant at 16 becuase she figures better than the life she has, and she can handle kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:00 AM Flag
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Wtf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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You seem to be a bit too excited about having an on demand babysitter. I think you're 18 months away from saying "our 16 year old is fine babysitting while we go away for the weekend - isn't this normal anymore?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:16 AM Flag
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What changes when she is 16? I would trust her to stay with them overnight now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:19 AM Flag
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I figured. Youre raising a domestic servant. What if she doesn't want to spend all weekend watching a 5 year old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
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Did you pay her? Just curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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No, she gets enough already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:26 AM Flag
[ - ] It amazes me that people on this site who have nannies (on and off the books) don't have clearly spelled out contracts that address vacation pay, overtime, duties, scope and depth of work, etc. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:49 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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Agree. They want the nanny to be "professional" but they don't outline a professional agreement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:51 PM Flag
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I do not regard nannies as professional. THEY seem to want that, even if they dont act professioanl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:53 PM Flag
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Wtf??? It's a job. Yes they are professional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:53 PM Flag
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Not all jobs are professional. Most people do not consider retail, fast food professional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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People who work in retail or McDonald's are expected to behave in a professional manner on the job. Their employers give them a contract with carefully outlined responsibilities, policies etc. if you don't do that for your nanny, you suck as a boss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:56 PM Flag
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uh, no they do not get a contract. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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Yes they do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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They get a paper with job description on it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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When I worked at Wendy's in high school and 7-Eleven in college and as a nanny in grad school, I had employment contracts. They were simple 2-3-pagers, but they spelled out what my and my employer's responsibilities were and the T&Cs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 AM Flag
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professional does not mean that you have a job . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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+1 They want all of the benefits of having employees without any of the hassles of being an employer. It's because they are trying to live beyond their means and simply don't know how to manage employees. (It's the same syndrome as people who have lavish weddings that are far outside their usual lifestyle; they have never in their life thrown a party on that scale, and then wonder why it's so stressful to do it just as they're getting married.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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Nope, nannies want to be regarded as professional, with none of the responsibilities. I have found aupairs to be more professioanl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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You just don't want to put the time or effort into writing a simple employment contract - because you don't know what you're doing and you're not a good employer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:04 AM Flag
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And rationalizes it by saying, She's only a nanny, I shouldn't have to put any work into managing her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:06 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 AM Flag
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Aupairs have contract, and I have found they try to live up to it. Anyone who wants to be paid off the books is not deserving of a contract. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:11 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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Ha...I just posted the same thing down below. I agree! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:07 AM Flag
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I think there are a lot of people living outside their means and they try to make up the difference by shorting the help. Normal courtesy goes out the window when they can save a buck. Meanwhile they dress in designer clothes and look the part with a housekeeper, cleaner, nanny etc. Bottom line is that if you can't afford to pay your nanny during sick days, emergencies, snow days..you probably can't afford her period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:06 AM Flag
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x1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:11 AM Flag
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I also think it has to do with the convenience of having a nanny. To be fair, WOH with kids is very hard in NY - many people work long hours and have long trips home, meaning a day care or afterschool program that closes at 6 doesn't sound like a great option. It's clearly easier to hire a nanny. But then, they don't want to admit to themselves that they can't really afford it and try to justify underpayment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 AM Flag
[ - ] Found a new show I love. Does anyone else like Backstrom? Since I like it will probably be gone after season one. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:46 PM Flag
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watched the first episode and could not get into it, despite it being set in Portland which i love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:50 PM Flag
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It's pretty cliché so far, just the next House/Doc Martin/Lie To Me. It's going to have to get a lot more interesting and come up with its own hook if it wants to stay on the air. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Stupid vent, bracing for flames, but mom of an only here (not by choice - would give anything to have another), so tired of the comment "but you're his constant playmate!!! Don't you want to have another so they can play together?" I'm not my child's playmate, he has his own friends and also can play by himself. I also enjoy doing things with him sometimes. And yeah, would love to have another but not as a toy for my DS. Ugh sorry. Bad day. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:44 PM Flag
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Secondary infertility? People should mtob [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:46 PM Flag
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Are you infertile? Would you consider adopting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:46 PM Flag
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OP: I am and I would. DH not on board but I am working on him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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Not stupid. I feel the same way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:48 PM Flag
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OP: I'm sorry. It sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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I get this constantly too. Really frustrating to be dealing with secondary infertility while everyone and their mother tries to convince me how great it'd be to have another! I have started saying "I'd like nothing more and we are having an extremely difficult time with it" don't even care if I make people uncomfortable anymore when they don't wxtend me the same courtesy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:48 PM Flag
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Good for you. I really can't believe in this day and age that people make comments like this. I feel like so many people have fertility issues, can't imagine making such a comment to someone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:49 PM Flag
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I used to when I was younger and more naive. Makes me feel horrible now and I hope I never offended anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Same. I used to when I had no clue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:02 AM Flag
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OP: this is great, thanks. Sorry you are going through this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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Thank you, likewise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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They mean well. Say something like "Ohhh we'd love that. (in a wistful voice) but for now I guess he is stuck with just me ha ha ha " [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:48 PM Flag
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In response to "don't you want to have another?" you can say "what makes you assume that I don't want to have another?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:00 AM Flag
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I was one and done for quite some time. I am having the second and half my friends asked me why...You cannot win either way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:08 AM Flag
[ - ] I left my 9 yo dd to watch 4 yo ds while I did some work at home today. After a few hours, they were being awfully quiet so I went to check on them. Dd had put on Amityville Horror and DS was sitting in the den watching it, terrified. Dd was in her room painting her nails. 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:39 PM Flag
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She sounds like a hero. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:39 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:40 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:49 PM Flag
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A few hours may have been stretching it with a 9 yo babysitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:40 PM Flag
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you think... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:04 AM Flag
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You are an awful mother to turn your 9 YO into a babysitter. Would you do this to a boy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:40 PM Flag
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Yes, I would. wtf? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:40 PM Flag
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No she isn't unless done all the time. This used to be so common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Op. I thought everyone did this! I guess I'm the only one? So strange. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:44 PM Flag
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It's fine!!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:45 PM Flag
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Oh please. Give her a break. My brothers watched me all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Nbd. It'll put hairs on his chest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:40 PM Flag
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He won't leave my side now. I'm worried he will need to see a therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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If you want to understand her sistering; look at your parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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What are you talking about. You never ask your older child to watch the younger ones? That's very odd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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Her 9yo has been allowed to watch Amityville Horror and who knows what else. If she's crooked, it's her parents choices that have made her so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:44 PM Flag
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And she is doing her nails, etc. Issues here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:47 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:47 PM Flag
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Maybe you should thought about that before using 9 YO as sitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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Where was DH? Is your next step making 9YO DD sweep, mop and drop out of school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Wtf? Because I asked her to watch her little brother for a few hours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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So where was DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:43 PM Flag
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I am divorced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:44 PM Flag
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Wtf? Because I asked her to watch her little brother for a few hours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Why has your 9yo seen Amityville Horror? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Because OP is a shitty mother. That is clear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:49 PM Flag
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Wait, where did OP say 9yo had seen it. Maybe she just flipped the channels and it was on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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She has seen this and the poltergeist. Read below. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:27 AM Flag
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Original or remake? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Original [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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Do you only care about one of your kids? Where is dad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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I am divorced, he's not in the picture. How is that relevant anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:43 PM Flag
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You need to stop leaning on 9YO. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:46 PM Flag
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What is your obsession with this. I don't get it. It's not a huge imposition to ask her to keep an eye on her brother while I do some work, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:47 PM Flag
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As long as you're cool with stuff like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:51 PM Flag
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I didn't expect her to make such a huge lapse in judgment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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Why does she know what this movie is? You're avoiding the question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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What? You never asked me that. She has seen the movie. She's in 4th grade and all the kids her age love scary movies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:54 PM Flag
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No, they don't. They lie and pretend they do, but no responsible parent actually lets their kid watch that shit at 9. Are you dim? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:59 PM Flag
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She has gone to other friends' houses and they have watched similar movies. Mostly old classics like poltergeist, etc. it's not exactly unusual. They are in 4th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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You're wrong about that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:04 AM Flag
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OK, now I think this is fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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How can he not be in the picture? You have two kids, 9 and 4. Do they have the same father? You were with him for 5 years, and now he is gone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:56 PM Flag
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Troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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You should have taken a break and looked in. This whole saga is problematic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:46 PM Flag
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Why wait a few hours before checking in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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Because OP is a terrible mom. Duh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:55 PM Flag
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Why do you keep posting this? What is wrong with you? You sound unhinged. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:57 PM Flag
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If 4 yo ds was really terrified, he'd have left the room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:58 PM Flag
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Op. I think he was so stunned he couldn't move. I found him sitting there. His little face was white as a ghost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:03 AM Flag
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She is nine and doing what nine years do. A few hours is WAY to long to leave your kids without checking in regularly on them. I work from home sometimes as well and check in every 30 minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Need help. My 4 year old son who I would consider pretty normal has this habit of randomly yelling for no reason. Like imagine sitting in a restaurant and he will randomly plop his head 1 inch from my face and yell "Ahhh!" He will do it while we are in a car and everyone is reading or watching a movie. It is so f***ing annoying. We have started removing privileges, but he doesn't seem to reapond. I'm starting to think it's uncontrollable, like a build up of energy that just comes flying out. Should I ignore this? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:37 PM Flag
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Tourette's syndrome [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:39 PM Flag
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Xanax [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:40 PM Flag
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My niece does that. I adore her, she is bright as a button and cute as can be, but when she does that it makes my blood pressure spike like my head is going to pop off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Yes. You should. Random behaviors pop up like this and are meeting a need for him even if he can't identify it. He is seeking acute sensory input, maybe headphones with music or something to squeeze hard. Try out more appropriate replacement behaviors and eventually he will grow out of it and those will likely fade too. Behavioral intervention therapist here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:41 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:21 AM Flag
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No, when he does it, you should teach him to use his words. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:06 AM Flag
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No, you should not ignore it. He needs to know this will bring a poor reaction from others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:10 AM Flag
[ - ] George Martin not going to finish next GOT book this year. This guy writes so slowly. And he is obese and lives with lots of cats. What are the odds he survives to finish the series? Do you think HBO has the outline from him already? I would have demanded it as part of my deal with him. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:36 PM Flag
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Writes slowly? Have you seen the volume of his work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:38 PM Flag
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I have this theory that he really enjoys writing the perverted bits and that shit has been done for years. The rest doesn't engage him as much and he struggles to fit the story around the isolated scenarios he's created. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:44 PM Flag
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Some fan went to the manuscript collection at UT and read every page of his original manuscripts to suss out clues to what's going to happen. Apparently there are some plot spoilers that the editor removed before publication. The guy posted them online, you should google if you're that into it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:42 PM Flag
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I read a particular series and the author got depression between book two and three. It dragged out for two and half years. At one point I was willing to go over and give him a blowjob just so he would finishing the fing book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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Uhh, I, uhh also, can't finish writing my, umm, book. Sincerely, a DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:05 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:09 AM Flag
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What was the series? If it was that good, i want to read it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:09 AM Flag
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Who cares? If he dies, you can just make up your own ending. There will be plenty of other writers selling plenty of other novels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 11:52 PM Flag
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He will likely die before he completes the series. The series ended when HBO started to produce the tv show. Now, he is accustomed to fame and its entitlements. Also he has instructed his wife to destroy all of his material if he dies before completing the series. He stated that if he failed to finish the series, it would end with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:12 AM Flag
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Yes, HBO has the outline from him. Read that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 02.01.15, 12:23 AM Flag
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