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[ - ] Let's say I had a contract to build a house, The house is never built because the HOA will not approve the plans. Is the contract considered void? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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Do you have the contract with you? If it wasn't the builders' responsibility/fault it might still valid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:32 PM Flag
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I do and it was not the builders fault legally. Morally they sold us a house they knew they couldn't build in the neighborhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:33 PM Flag
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np: but you were on notice of it too since the HOA docs are public record [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:34 PM Flag
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Yes but unfortunately we are not savvy and have never bought a house or built anything. Not that it's an excuse but we aren't originally from here so we didn't know how screwed we would be on the other side of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Let's out all the non-vaccinators by name. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:24 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Watching the news - enterovirus now in NY, followed by ISIS may be targeting NYC. Anyone worried about either. Right now I'm not. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Every now and again I get a chilling feeling that we're probably going to have another terrorist attack here soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:23 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else see how ridiculous it is that some of the moms on UB refuse to get their kids vaccinated, won't let them eat goldfish, but walk around NYC inhaling exhaust fumes all day and think nothing of it? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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People are funny that way. Especially people who are bad at math and statistics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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+ 1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:14 PM Flag
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Everything about anti-vaccinators is ridiculous. We should out them all by name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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Yes. I can't remember the name for it, but there's a word for this syndrome. We're not scared of things we do on a regular basis, even if they're statistically more dangerous than things we do more rarely that terrify us. For example, fear of flying is really common, while fear of driving is not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:25 PM Flag
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I would call this being human. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Feeling sad, depressed and lonely about a few things that happened today. On days this happens, sometimes I think I just need to sit and wallow in it to get over it, other times I think I need to make myself busy. Normally wallowing gets me over it faster, but wastes so much time when I could be getting jobs done. What approach do you take? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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I actually think indulging the feelings is better. It kind of depends. I think if you're someone who really loves wallowing and leaning into negative things, then no. But if you're the type of person who's always trying to snap out of stuff and move on...then maybe just feeling the sadness for 10 minutes would be quicker. Process it rather than trying to pretend it's not there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Depends on the day. Sometimes a good dose of melancholy feels good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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I usually sit around and wallow, though I know better. Occasionally, I manage to drag myself out and about and can later admit that it helped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Feel the fear and talk it through. I grew up in a family where "processing" was/is the norm. As in, "I know we planned to go out to dinner after seeing the movie Lincoln, but I most go home first and process my thoughts on what I just saw and truthfully would not be good company in a restaurant right now". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:05 PM Flag
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How did your family encourage processing? I want to help my kids process more, but I don't know where to begin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone getting the new iPhone? Trying to decide if optical image stabilization is worth it in the 6 plus. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:58 PM Flag
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Preordered on Friday...downloading the new iOS 8 now onto my 5 as delivery of my new 6 plus is a could of weeks out. That said, I'm really excited about the bigger screen. I use my phone all day long as I'm running here, there and everywhere so I can't imagine the bigger screen being an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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I preordered the 6 on Friday. Ordered a case on Amazon, which I already have. Having the case in hand (for a phone that's plenty big, imo), I'm glad I didn't go for 6 plus as it would be way too big to tuck in a pocket. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:20 PM Flag
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What kind of pocket? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else have a dramatic tween / teen that says in the middle of a fight, "No one loves me, I am going to kill myself." How do you handle this? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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"OK. I've let you say that a few times, but I'm done. I don't think at your age you understand that you don't just throw words like that around. If you say anything again like that to me, I'm calling the guidance counselor at school and you can see how seriously they take you and how much fun you think it is. Because either you're joking, which is bad enough, but if you're not, you'll get the help you need whether you like it or not." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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I like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:10 PM Flag
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double like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Good one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:28 PM Flag
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No one loves me either. I'm devastated. I'm leaving tomorrow for Mars! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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Tell her you love her unconditionally but her being a drama queen is quite annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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"It sounds like you feel lonely and unloved. I want you to know that you are loved very much. The words 'to kill myself' are taken very seriously and not to be used for fun. If you truly feel this way, I will make an appointment for you to speak to somebody about it. If you are saying to exaggerate your feelings, please stop and use other words to describe your feelings." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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This is better than the one above, and I quite liked the one above!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
[ - ] I am 99% sure that someone stole an item of mine and then wrote her name on it later. Say something or let it go? Item costs about $50 to keep things in perspective 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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What is the item? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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A piece of sporting equipment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Is it a very common type of item? From where do you she suspect she lifted it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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No, it isn't common. That is why I am pretty sure it is mine. It is from a shared storage area. We all have are own space but all access. My space is right next to hers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:01 PM Flag
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she's got balls. what is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:03 PM Flag
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Saddle pad from a tack room. It is a very specific brand and shape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:04 PM Flag
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But why didn't YOU Sharpie it with your name?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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I forgot and never problem before [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:07 PM Flag
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np: Unfortunately I think you've learned that this isn't a secure storage area. Can you keep your things on you or get a lock? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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Not really. Best I can probably do is label. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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maybe just say. i like your saddle pad. but prob, someone that ballsy won't give a shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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move on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:43 PM Flag
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Buy an new one and mention to "that someone" that you saw the item and just had to have one, then never bring it up again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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I would mention that you already had one and it seemed to go missing so you had to buy a new one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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NP: no, buy a new one and put your name on it, then mention to this person to be careful with hers because you just had to replace yours since someone stole one from you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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ita. If she did it, she should feel sheepish. If she didn't, well, she's been warned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:22 PM Flag
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This! But I would say - be careful, some asshole stole mine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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Buy a new one and tell her that it's so weird that the old one disappeared--but probably for the best since it may have had bedbugs (or poison ivy, or something else that's going to make her look panicked if she was the one who took it). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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I'd say, I lost an item just like this. Are you sure this is yours? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:36 PM Flag
[ - ] wwyd? your wealthy mother, who has mostly lived off inheritance money, asks you for a substantial sum of money to help renovate her country house, which she owns, on the theory that you will inherit it one day. you are busy raising and educating children and don't have money to spare. if you refuse, she will be really really angry (she has a personality disorder and an anger management problem). you do use the house for approximately 2 weeks a summer, but you pay rent for that time. if you gave money, you would have no say over architect, design, timing, house rules, etc. also no legal ownership. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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"i wish i could but can't mom." or give her like $500. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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No fucking way. I was raised by a mom like this (never worked, and was a single mom). I paid the taxes on the country house a few times (when she was threatening to sell it) and pay the electric bill even though I use it for a weekend maybe once a year or two. Renovations are for my mother's account; she's got plenty of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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yeah, sounds similar. our moms are entitled [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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would you do it if you had the money? IOW, do you like the house and will you use it once you inherit it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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I might do it, if I had the money, in the interest of family peace and harmony. but I think the request is annoying and thoughtless [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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(1) "we are really not in a place financially right now to do this. Things aren't how they seem." or (2) there has to be a secured note with interest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
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That's ridiculous. Even if you had the money, that's not appropriate unless you want to buy it from her now. And if you don't have the money now, how would you maintain it when you inherit it anyway? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:11 PM Flag
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I would probably sell it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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Would she give you an ownership share? Would you want it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
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no, just a promise of future inheritance. since I'm always on the verge of cutting her out of my life, I'm not banking on it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:29 PM Flag
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Then I think it would be crazy to chip in the cash, unfortunately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:19 PM Flag
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Have her sign it over with life rights and then renovate to her liking. Blame dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:18 PM Flag
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Tell her your lawyer advised against it as poor tax planning. You can do a note with interest at a low rate if she whould perfer. Or you can tell her to go jump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:33 PM Flag
[ - ] What can I do to make DH feel more appreciated? He told me that he thinks he is my last priority. This is only partly true as I am my last priority. First comes the kids, dad with health challenges, work, dh, then me. I am supportive of dh in that I am primary breadwinner while he launches a business. He works from home so does a lot with the kids and household stuff which is great. I don't want him to feel unappreciated, but I'm exhausted and not sure what I can do. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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Have you tried telling him this? Neither of you sound like you're being unreasonable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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+1 Talking about this is the first step to any resolution... you (hopefully) still love each other enough to listen and appreciate (form the other perspective) how each of you feels... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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How often do you do a date night? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:56 PM Flag
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Do you honest appreciate his efforts to launch a business or do you resent him not bringing in a steady paycheck? I would, that's why I'm asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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I think this is common. One thing that helps us a lot is when I make couple time happen - my mom watches the kids so we can go away for a weekend, or we take a trip as a family to a place with childcare, or even go out to dinner. I tend not to even think about it, but he really craves one-on-one time. And sometimes you can make a point of telling the kids "don't interrupt, your dad was talking," "you're going to bed, Dad and I need to spend time together," etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:02 PM Flag
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Put the technology away and spend at least half an hour together, go for a walk together, say thank you as you're getting into bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:09 PM Flag
[ - ] I would like contemporary Christian music quite a bit if they didn't have to tell me it's Christian music at all. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:48 PM Flag
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There's a really good Christian rapper named Bizzle. He is so good. the beats are good and his rap isn't too preachy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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Ugh, a friend and I were just talking about how much we hate this music. It's like really bad adult contemporary with a few guitars thrown in to make it "rock-ish" Hate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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That's why satellite radio has a couple of hundred stations. I hate rap but if others like it, whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:12 PM Flag
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It's an issue if that's what is played in your church or any church you're interested in attending. It's not just music played on the radio. It's played and sung in churches, you know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Yeah but I'm old and I think that's why I like it. I like pop music. I was Abba's dream fan as a kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:27 PM Flag
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That's the problem. It's not good pop music. I LOVE pop music. I LOVE rock music. This is bad pop music and bad rock music. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:16 PM Flag
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Older contemporary Christian was better as there was a range of styles. Now it's all praise and worship music, which sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:30 PM Flag
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My bil has started listening to Christian rock. He's not an evangelical or anything. His kids tease him mercilessly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Three good things happened to me today, and two "meh" things happened. So why do I feel like shit, like the bad things are these giant anchors weighing down any sense of accomplishment that the three other things might provide? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:46 PM Flag
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I'm exactly the same way. 9 out of 10 people could think my work is great but it's the one that finds fault that I dwell on. No advise - just know that there are others who think the same way. Head up, move on - tomorrow will be a new day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you like in your fruit salad? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Berries, melon, maybe a bit of pineapple. I don't like papaya or mango at all and don't like banana or apples in fruit salad (they brown even sprinkled with lemon). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:00 PM Flag
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Berries, pineapple, stone fruits, mango (not necessarily all together, but those are the types of fruits I like to include). No melon, banana, apple, etc. Citrus is okay depending on what else is in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] What's your employer match on your 401k? Do you also get a pension benefit? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:42 PM Flag
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Pension? Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa. Match? 50% of the first 4%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:13 PM Flag
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Employer gives the equivalent of 10% of my salary to my 401k. No match. No pension benefit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:15 PM Flag
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Our miserly company just started in its 18th year of existence. $2500 max. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:17 PM Flag
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match up to 6%. Defined pension at retirement (one lump sum). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 09:20 PM Flag
[ - ] dd is 12 and walks to school with another kid. We text the kid's parents when dd will leave, text the parents just before she leaves. The dad got mad at me today because he expects my dd to cross two streets, go all the way to his building, ring the buzzer and wait for this other kid. I pointed out that we are contacting them TWICE before dd leaves. THey have time to get this kid outside and be ready. I don't really care about him and my kid is fine going to school by herself but this guy was FURIOUS with me this morning because dd just left for school because this kid didn't show up. Rather than talk to me, he goes full-on ballistic. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:41 PM Flag
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ignore annoying others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:31 PM Flag
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Can't your dd text their dc and they organise themselves? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:33 PM Flag
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Wait, just want to be sure I'm clear...so your daughter walks to a pre-set place to meet this girl and she's supposed to be there? She's not supposed to go to the girl's house to pick her up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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Why can't a 12 year old cross 2 streets? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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The Dad sounds like a complete a-hole. Why should your child go out of their way to pick up this kid and wait for them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:37 PM Flag
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Tell him arrangement is off, you dont' want to be responsible and you dont' want dd hanging around some building waiting, if their dd is outside on the right corner then off they go, if not they get their own dd to school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:38 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:53 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:54 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:45 PM Flag
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LOL, memory flash. A friend and I used to walk to the school bus stop together, and then we had to stop for a third girl, who was on the way. We would get to the front of her house, she would look out the window and signal us to wait. And there we waited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:44 PM Flag
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I had this too. Third girl was always late. Wish we'd had the balls to leave her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:57 PM Flag
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We occasionally would, after we had been standing for a lengthy period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:47 PM Flag
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your kids 12, you have no problem with her walking to school alone so there is your answer. His kid is not your problem. tell your DD to go to school on her own from now on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:50 PM Flag
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This guy is an idiot. He should be mad at his kid for not getting outside in time. I would stop dealing with the father entirely. Contact the mother and say 'hey, sounds like this isn't working out so well anymore. We're happy to have the kids still walk together if we can be clear about when to be outside, but I'm not comfortable with DD having to just hang out on a street corner indefinitely.' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.17.14, 08:55 PM Flag
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