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[ - ] It's early, but any MD moms or anyone with experience...my mom had an ultrasound a week ago and they found a huge mass in her upper abdomen, most likely cancerous. Only symptom is a bit of tenderness. They think it's unusual, are trying to figure out if it is operable; they think this type of thing may not respond well to chemo. Obviously doctors are on the case, but I am worried and don't even know what to search on to try to get more info; any thoughts? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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Don't search blindly on Internet. Stupid. Wait until you know what to research. Healing thoughts flying her way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:19 PM Flag
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Avoiding the internet is good advice. Is there something non computer you can throw yourself into, like exercise or volunteering? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:28 PM Flag
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+1 You know way too little to go on at this point. It's hard but sit tight until they get more information. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Is colonial Williamsburg appropriate for 6 year olds? Is it fun? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:03 PM Flag
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We were there when my younger DD was 6. (This was 15 years ago, FWIW). We had a very good time. The kids enjoyed being in the setting, and then of course there was a pool with the motel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:09 PM Flag
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^^She has an older sister who was 10, so the 10 year old got much more out of the history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:14 PM Flag
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We went when DC were 4 and 6 and they didn't get much out of it. They are now 10 and 12 and I think it would be a better trip since they know the history, and can interact with the actors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:11 PM Flag
[ - ] I have no words for this woman. Wtf?? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:55 AM Flag
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I know what you mean. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:56 AM Flag
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She realizes these same arguments could be used to say she shouldn't run a business, have male employees, etc.? Right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:58 AM Flag
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The cognitive dissonance is gobsmacking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:03 PM Flag
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It's different! Because it just is! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:05 PM Flag
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smh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Lilly Pulitzer for Target. Epic fail. Everything sold out online in minutes. I tried all night to get on. Screw it. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:24 AM Flag
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Sound like target did very well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:28 AM Flag
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You think Target will lower Pulitzer's reputation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:36 AM Flag
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It's gone already??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:43 AM Flag
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I think you are the epic fail. You spent all night trying to buy Lilly Pulitzer. LOL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:51 AM Flag
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CHEAP Lilly Pulitzer- there's a difference! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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There was a pop up at Bryant Park on Thursday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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And this is why I love UB. You guys are adorable. Hope you manage to snag some stuff in person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:29 PM Flag
[ - ] The other day I posted that I lost 5 pounds. I just weighed myself and lost another 2!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!!!!! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:23 AM Flag
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I remember you! You go, girl! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:25 AM Flag
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Write this on your refrigerator, so when you go looking for late-night snacks, you remember how great it felt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:45 AM Flag
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Congrats (assuming you need/want to lose). What are you doing to effect this? I need a kickstart... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:59 AM Flag
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This is a great motivator when you hit plateaus. Congrats and keep it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:00 PM Flag
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I read your other post. You definitely deserve this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Watching First Wives Club.... 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:17 AM Flag
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I liked it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:18 AM Flag
[ - ] I can't get my 9 mo to sleep past 5:45am. Any suggestions - I've tried earlier and later bedtimes nothing has worked. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:04 AM Flag
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That's just when they want to wake up. It's temporary, hang in there. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:07 AM Flag
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Go with it. The sun is up, then, anyway. Get up earlier, go to bed earlier and for longer. Your electric bill will drop and 45yo you will thank you for the good skin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:35 AM Flag
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Sadly, my son is 9 and still wakes up at 6am. Doesn't matter if he goes to bed later or not. Sigh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:52 AM Flag
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Btdt. Also tried changing bedtime, white noise, etc. db is now 1 and make her stay in her crib till 6, but she has naturally started waking up more often at 6:15 or so. Still takes 2 naps, same schedule [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:54 AM Flag
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Days are getting longer. You could try black-out curtains, but think of it as a time to interact with a baby who's in a very good mood at getting one-on-one mom time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:14 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you get your spouse (or anyone, really) to stop hemming and hawing and make a decision? I cannot get my husband to plan beyond today. Without some sort of plan for where and how we want to live, I can't make good decisions about anything, from what client load to take on, to whether to replace the old sofa. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:54 AM Flag
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Make the decision yourself and move forward [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:59 AM Flag
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That could mean leaving him. We don't want to stay in NYC the rest of our lives, and about every six months he announces that's it, he's had it, it's time to move out, and then nothing happens. If I scale back my clients, sell/donate stuff I don't want to move, and develop a network in a new place, and then he won't move, I'm either stuck in NYC with no clients and no furniture or I'm on my own someplace else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:17 AM Flag
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Do you want to move? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:26 AM Flag
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I don't mind either way. I like NYC, but I like a lot of other places, too. I just can't offboard clients in preparation for a move that isn't happening, and I can't onboard clients I can't really commit to, you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:30 AM Flag
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Decide you're staying and go with that. Without you executing the move,it won't happen. Don't torpedo your career over his dithering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:44 AM Flag
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Just make then decisions yourself. Take charge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:59 AM Flag
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I hate always being in charge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:46 AM Flag
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I end up making all decisions:( it's not easy because he also puts on a fight too and acts like I want to be in control [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:08 AM Flag
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+1 np I noticed this after we had kids. DH won't make decisions, but when I do, I'm "controlling". Still trying to find the balance... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:14 AM Flag
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I am working on ignoring his occupations and pouting. I am at a point where if he wants to leave he knows where to find the door [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:17 AM Flag
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I stayed for another 4 years (and another DB) working 4 days/week. It worked OK for a while, the last 12-18 months (tail end of the pre-financial crisis boom) were honestly pretty awful. I moved in-house and it's overall much better - I work 8/8:30-5:30/6, they are very intense, busy days, but rarely work nights or weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:12 AM Flag
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^^^Sorry! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:13 AM Flag
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:-D [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:31 AM Flag
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My husband is the same. Will. Not. Change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:43 AM Flag
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Same here. Good thing I am--and have always been--a take charge, decisive person. Nothing has changed from my single days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:57 AM Flag
[ - ] If you stayed at biglaw after having kids, what is your day to day life like? Is the money worth it? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:17 AM Flag
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I stayed, while my husband was the SAHP. Day to day life was wonderful and the money was definitely worth it. Once DDs were in school, my husband started his own business, and once that was stable, I left and started my own business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:38 AM Flag
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How long did you stay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:19 AM Flag
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I was there for 12 years, from graduation until I quit to start my own business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:36 AM Flag
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I stayed only long enough to get a new job in the public sector with decent hours. You give up an awful lot to work in Biglaw. IMHO, it was not worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:55 AM Flag
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How long did you stay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:18 AM Flag
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I have 3 friends in big law (2 male and 1 female) and the load and hours seem to be vey different for all 3 of them. The female one actually works most of all. She has 2 nannies + ft housekeeper and her dh is primary with kids. If I was her I would stop spending so much and save enough to leave in 5 years once kids are a bit older but she plans to stay for 20 more years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:13 AM Flag
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I stayed for another 4 years (and another DB) working 4 days/week. It worked OK for a while, the last 12-18 months (tail end of the pre-financial crisis boom) were honestly pretty awful. I moved in-house and it's overall much better - I work 8/8:30-5:30/6, they are very intense, busy days, but rarely work nights or weekends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:13 AM Flag
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What kind of hours were you working part time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:19 AM Flag
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9am-10/11pm or later. I would try once or twice a week to leave by 7/7:30 so I could put my kids to bed, and then log in from home. Then on my day "off" or on the weekend I would be on the blackberry the whole time and then working during their nap or after they went to bed. I also had 2-3 very nasty clients the last few months I was at the firm. And we were so busy, I had a hard time getting any junior staffing for my deals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] I feel like I blinked and my baby isn't little anymore. Doesn't help that he is 95% for height. This may be my last baby and It is going so fast. He is 6m and I saw my friends 3w old last week and she was so tiny and had the newborn cry and it feels like forever ago. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:14 AM Flag
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Volunteer in a NICU, holding and feeding babies. You'll get all of the new-baby binge that you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:44 AM Flag
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np- is this really something that can be done? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:01 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:14 AM Flag
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Yes - with babies of crack addicts etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:48 AM Flag
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And regular preemies! Preemie parents need a break from the kangaroo care [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:32 PM Flag
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Yes - call hospital and ask if they need any volunteer baby cuddlers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Wow, they just don't make ''em like that anymore. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:53 AM Flag
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What is "em? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:59 AM Flag
[ - ] Is a $2-3 million inheritance considered a lot of $$ on this board? 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:34 AM Flag
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what do you think? lobotomy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:36 AM Flag
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Yes. Please don't make fun of my condition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:39 AM Flag
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a fool and his money is soon parted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:42 AM Flag
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Alas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:44 AM Flag
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Compound subject. Plural verb. (Not to mention that this is a well-known phrase and you should know it just for that fact.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 08:32 AM Flag
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Well I'm sure no one would say no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:40 AM Flag
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are you kidding me. that's retirement right there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:46 AM Flag
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No it's considered UMC by UB standards. It's a nice windfall but nothing special. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:46 AM Flag
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If that is your inheritance and you are married to a high-earning DH or DH who will also inherit, then yes-- that is considered a lot of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:51 AM Flag
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Are you kidding? I wouldn't get out of bed for less than 5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:52 AM Flag
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so, you'll just stay broke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:00 AM Flag
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No, I am not kidding. I have undergone a lobotomy, which has affected my sense of humor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:01 AM Flag
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:snicker: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:10 AM Flag
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;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:14 AM Flag
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Not enough to never work and divorce your DH and put your kids through private schools and college but a nice amount to have for your security. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:09 AM Flag
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Why would she divorce her DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:12 AM Flag
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Not saying she would but it does not give her the financially independent wealth to be able to comfortable without other work and subsidies. i.e. She can't ditch him and keep lifestyle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 AM Flag
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Depends on what lifestyle she has now and what lifestyle she is willing to accept. $2M will provide $40,000/year in income, after taxes and fees. If she's happy to move someplace other than the big cities, she can be a SAHP on that income, or she could work while DCs are in school and then college to supplement it and live quite nicely in most towns in the US. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:48 AM Flag
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You are only demonstrating 4% return which is very conservative, though prudent. Shows how much is needed at retirement to live reasonably! Most people will not be able to do this themselves - scary [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:07 AM Flag
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Most people overestimate what they will need for retirement and underestimate their resources. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:38 AM Flag
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np "Most people" do not retire with expectations of keeping up the same lifestyle they had at 40. I do my parents' budget & tax returns, and they are living on ~$25k/year in a NJ suburb, and they are happy with it. They know they won't get big vacations or move to a yacht in the Mediterranean, but they read, see friends, spend time with family, especially grandchildren, and have a nice, quiet retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:41 AM Flag
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LOL. I love how the end game on UB is to ditch the ATM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:00 AM Flag
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So funny. 99.9999999% of the planet "makes do" with far, far less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:01 AM Flag
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Sure, but you would still be a regular person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:32 PM Flag
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did someone mention divorce? yes, millions of dollars is a lot of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:46 AM Flag
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We're aiming for $5M in assets so we can move to Malta as soon as DD finishes college, so $2M would be a lot to us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:42 AM Flag
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np- why malta? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:02 AM Flag
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Low cost of living, mild weather, good affordable medical care, easy travel in Europe and Africa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:42 AM Flag
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^Also, if we move assets there and buy $1M in government bonds, they will give us citizenship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:44 AM Flag
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It's a lot. Maybe not life changing depending on your own financial picture, but still a lot of money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:10 AM Flag
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Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:12 AM Flag
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UB is batty. Figure $2.5 million will yield $75K and change per year income (5% return minus $50K in taxes) which is a good chunk of expenses most places - though healthcare costs might eat that up in later years. Don't think you could live wonderfully in Manhattan tho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:15 AM Flag
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You could not responsibly quit your job. Also if your parents left you this money you should feel a duty to leave something to your kids and not just loaf on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:30 PM Flag
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This. If you are a responsible person you just view this money are your insurance policy and try to grow it and pass it down. It's not really your money, you didn't make it. But most people are too dumb/selfish to establish generational wealth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:33 PM Flag
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It would be life changing for me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:19 AM Flag
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Me too! We could cash out, move somewhere with a lower COL and work normal jobs without worrying about college or retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:51 AM Flag
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We could stay, pay off our mortgage, have college savings and not stress so much over jobs. We could sell our apartment and retire at 55 once youngest is in college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:12 PM Flag
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By UB standards - I think most people are spending so much trying to look "top tier" they are barely saving anything so I think that is a great amount. Save it and let it grow you'll pay for college and have a nice retirement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:55 AM Flag
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I don't think reasonable commute and decent public school zone qualifies as TT. Metropolitan area is objectively expensive and not everyone can just dump family and friends and move to Wisconsin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:28 PM Flag
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This is about what I can expect in inherit, and it will be nice be not life changing. Honestly I hope my parents live to 115 and spend it all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:28 PM Flag
[ - ] We're moving from good public zone to top one this summer. Dc will be going into fourth. Would you move your dc at that age for the last two years? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:30 AM Flag
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How is dc performing? Would the change drastically improve high school options? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:31 AM Flag
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*middle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:32 AM Flag
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Not doing that well and has become sort of pigeon holed as the naughty kid even though matured this last year. However socially with friends fine. I don't think it would impact middle because of the school, more because of a fresh start, but only if the benefits of it outweigh the difficult change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:54 AM Flag
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Then yes. Let him start fresh and turn over a new leaf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:13 AM Flag
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How is this even possible? They get a new teacher every year don't they? Try a new school and tell him it's his chance to make a good impression etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:22 AM Flag
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What school would dc move to? You have to be really really careful in 4th. Report cards matter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:50 AM Flag
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IF you child will get bad marks for behavior at old school, I would try new school UNLESS its a traditional rules school - sounds like that might not be a good fit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:51 AM Flag
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If kid wants to change, sure. If not, I'd probably leave it. Depending on the commute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 11:50 AM Flag
[ - ] How are the milkshakes and ice creams at Sugar and Plumm? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:23 AM Flag
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Pretty cold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:52 AM Flag
[ - ] We will be renting for a while and don't want to dip into savings. What should we spend on rent with HHI of $500k? Two dc's on UWS or UES. They're old enough that we greatly prefer separate bedrooms. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:14 AM Flag
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You shouldn't have any trouble, just take a look at streateasy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:20 AM Flag
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Thx, just wondering what's a reasonable limit for us. Nice enough but not huge 3 beds are $8500 or so to start. It's much higher than our mortgage was, but less doesn't get much with dc's approaching middle school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:25 AM Flag
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You will be fine. Apartments in your price range will be easy for you to find. StreetEasy is the best to help as said above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:24 AM Flag
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I think op is asking how much she can afford at that hhi. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:28 AM Flag
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Public school or private? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 04:57 AM Flag
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Depends on savings. Why are you renting? Are you going to rent in a great school zone like ps 6 or 290 or are you doing private? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:15 AM Flag
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