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[ - ] Currently PG and have a 4. 5 yr old DC. He is asking some very profound questions on how babies are made. He knows Mommy and Daddy made the baby and that it is in Mommy's belly but has asked a few times how mommy and daddy made The baby. I'd like to take the most realistic and factual approach while being appropriate for a 4yr old. Any suggestions? Thx 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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Take a cue from knocked up- ask him what he thinks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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I told my son that daddy has sperm and mommy has an egg. When the sperm meets the egg the baby starts forming. Daddy gave mommy the sperm for her egg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
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This sounds fine. I think you can tell the truth in an age-appropriate way at any age. And if he asks how Daddy puts the sperm in Mommy, say it happens when you're in bed alone. I would doubt he would push further but if so, you can keep going. It's not going to traumatize him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Nanny here: By choice I never use the parent's master bathroom. They treat me like family, invite me to parties etc, but I still wouldn't use their bathroom. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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That's good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:26 PM Flag
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Did they tell you explicitly not to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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No. I just would feel funny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:28 PM Flag
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Okie dokie, then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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(but I have used a q-tip from the jar) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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smart [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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Other nanny here: I haven't used it either, I guess there is not really a need for it. There are plenty of bathrooms in their house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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But they haven't told me I am not allow to. And I am sure that if I had to they wouldn't be upset about it. It is just a silly toilet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:30 PM Flag
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Allowed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:33 PM Flag
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OP: It doesn't make me feel like hired help, or beneath them. I just personally wouldn't want to be in their space when there's another bathroom close enough that is more laid back and not fancy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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Another nanny here: I also have never used their bathroom but I feel fully confident that if I did, they would not have two shits to give. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:30 PM Flag
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Does your job description include cleaning the parents' bathroom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:26 PM Flag
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Nanny here. I have used the master's bath. Just out of spite. Just so I know that I am in control of me. I shit where I need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:32 PM Flag
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you need a new job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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OP OF THE ORIGINAL POST AND THANK YOU NANNY :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:33 PM Flag
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Uh, you're still nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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I guess you didn't read far enough to get to the part where she and everyone else agreed you were batshit crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:35 PM Flag
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You are welcome...but don't be mad that I used one of your q-tips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I am amazing at everything I try and super cute with a great bod, any questions? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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what do you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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MD working in a hospital setting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:20 PM Flag
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age [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:20 PM Flag
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30 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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How well do you do on the modesty scale? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
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I am lovely and would never talk like this IRL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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Well, I admire your confidence then, and your great circumstances. I will add, that I'm surely older than you and it's been through experience that it was the things I was most smug about, that were the ones which eventually wound up biting me in the ass, so don't get TOO sure, but do enjoy your life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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Do you respond to questions for MD moms on UB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
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I have [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:23 PM Flag
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Are you the one who can't get fucked in New York? Or are there tons of egomaniacs roaming the streets? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
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not an egomaniac at all, wouldn't say this IRL and I am well fucked [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:32 PM Flag
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Do you worry that you will fail at something eventually? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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um no, and if I do, I will learn from it. I am sure I will fail at something but I have a positive outlook and self esteem so I will always be ok [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:36 PM Flag
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Your demons are deep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Do all Jews have money? I'm dating a new guy who is Jewish (not religious) and I'm wondering what I should expect. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:23 PM Flag
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I hope this is just you trolling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:23 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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Yep, we get it from the tax you secretly pay on all foods marked with a K [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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get back under your bridge loser [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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Oh yes, especially those Williamsburg Jews. I hear they start their fireplace fires with 100 dollar bills! Then they cackle evilly and make voodoo dolls to Internet trolls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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Lame try [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Let's say you have a nanny who does something else on the side, let's say fashion. She is reasonably talented but has no money or connections. You are high up in the fashion industry and you are in a good position to help her get out of nannying and get a leg up in your industry. Would you help? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
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Of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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of course............ NOT... If I like her, I need her as my nanny because I am particular and very picky so if I find one I like I hold on to it and if I don't like her............ F'er [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:23 PM Flag
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If you hire a young educated nanny you can't expect her to stay forever. If you want a forever nanny, get someone who's been doing it for 10 years/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:35 PM Flag
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How good of a nanny? How much do I need her? Just being honest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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Definitely! That would be wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
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Nanny here: This is my situation, but I know the parents are not going to help me out because they need me as a nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
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If you have a soul. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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No. Boundaries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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If you had a daughter (or son) in this position, what do you hope the couple would do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Notice how Jennifer Aniston is all over the news now with her fashion stuff. I'm not blaming her, but any time Angelina gets attention, Jen's PR team steps it up. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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Angelina? Is that you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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This is such a cliche response. Get a better imagination. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:23 PM Flag
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you seem insane [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:16 PM Flag
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no, i seem like a person familiar with PR and showbiz. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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tell yourself anything you need to but only an insane person would actually think about this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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Well then my success in PR must be due to my insanity. Fine with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
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This is discussed ad naseum, on Celebitchy. Those women have unhealthy levels of love for Saint Jolie and are downright vicious to Aniston. However, it is interesting that all has been completely quiet on all sides and now this. And yes, I love me some gossip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Che guevara on t shirts, this hipster glorification of criminals is awful. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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1985 called. They want their social commentary back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:11 PM Flag
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np: thank you. This is exactly what I wanted to say but you said it better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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Yeah, yourre right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:20 PM Flag
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but it has gotten worse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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Whatever. I'm behing the times. It's still annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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Not really [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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Hipsters are annoying and inauthentic in general. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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Flame away, but I think Che Guevara had a point. Every movement / government has always a point when they murder innocent and no so innocent civilians. Just look at our awesome Country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:26 PM Flag
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everyone's a criminal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
[ - ] black pants have bleach stains. Can I dye them black? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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No, sorry. They won't look right. Try a black sharpie on the spots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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dont laugh, I did the black sharpie thing on the tips of my pointy shoes once, and it worked! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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Laugh? Been doing that since Julia Roberts did it in Pretty Woman! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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I got a pencil eraser sized bleach stain on a pair of yoga pants and used a Sharpie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
[ - ] is anyone else going a bit stircrazy today? 3yo DS has been up since 7am and I am running out of ideas. It may time to jump in some puddles! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:11 PM Flag
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nap time or quiet time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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Can't he entertain himself ? legos ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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This is why cartoons exist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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pbskids tv [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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Let him play by himself and come up with his own ideas. Days like this I am glad I don't always entertain my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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Legos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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We went to the bookstore this am. It's gross out but you can still take a fun adventure in the rain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Thinking of career change big law to academia. 2 dcs. Has anyone gone through grad school as an adult with small children? Is it manageable? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:09 PM Flag
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JD / PhD here: do NOT go to graduate school. It will take you 8 years to complete your degree at the very least. There are no academic jobs. Seriously. None. It's insanely competitive. If you didn't go to a prestigious enough law school and do super well (clerking, etc.) you aren't going to be able to get a job at a law school, and just forget about traditional academic departments. If you want to downshift I think going part-time would be a better option. Seriously. Academia is a nightmare right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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Do you want to teach law? or go into a new field? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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My DH did it right after our first dc was born--he started grad school at night and taught during the day. He doesn't need much sleep, which I think was key to it being a successful endeavor for us all. Tough but doable, you just have to hunker down and deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
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what in the world do you think you will be able to do with your PhD and I bet you are planning on humanities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:16 PM Flag
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Op--interesting. I am thinking about doing soc. I don't want to teach law, would want to teach soc to undergrads/grads and do research. I do know that the market is terrible for academics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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May i ask.. Op do you have inherited money? If not do not do academia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone been to NYC mammapalooza? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:04 PM Flag
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Nope. But I have a feeling you'll tell us it's amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:11 PM Flag
[ - ] How young is too young for daycare? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:03 PM Flag
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Newborn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:04 PM Flag
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Under 2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:00 PM Flag
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I'd never send my kid to a daycare center. My sitter took my kid to the park in CP at 98th/5th a few weeks ago. A group from daycare arrived and one of the kids fell from a railing on top of one of the platforms to the ground--landed flat on his back. Probably a 6 or 7' fall. Sitter said all the moms and sitters were looking at each other like "why isn't a worker taking the kid across the street to Mt Sinai." Kid cried for the remaining 45 mins my sitter was there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:03 PM Flag
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That's like saying youd never use a nanny because you once saw a bad nanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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My son is at daycare, an awesome one at that. He's 2. He started when he was 1. He's made great little friends and the director and her 2-3 assistants are fantastic, warm but with enough sense to know when to be strict. He has learned a lot. Sure, there are bad daycares just as much as there are crappy nannies. Your role as a parent is to find one that suits you and your child. Your next role is to make sure that the nanny or daycare you choose is responsible and provides a safe and loving environment for your kid. As parents who need to hire outside people to care for our kids are often burdened with finding the best care possible. To the NP above, please think before you say things like "I'd never send my kid to a daycare" off one incident your nanny witnesses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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I wouldn't send my kid to a daycare regardless of that incident. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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Depends if full time- I think 6 mos is fine for part time, would wait till 1 for full time. Very child dependent though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:11 PM Flag
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Ps I started dd part time at 4 mos and it was ok but not optimal. Would not have done it tho unless she were in mixed age class (0 - 2) so there would always be staff to hold her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:12 PM Flag
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Pps the other pro about starting earlier they develop an attachment to their caregivers (before sep anxiety starts) and never have the separation issues you'd have if they started at 1. On the negative side, dd has allergies and lung problems so every time she gets sick at daycare it lasts for wks and wks. If next db is the same we'll do a nanny but if not I prefer day care [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:19 PM Flag
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Mine started at 4-5 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:11 PM Flag
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Mine started at 5 and 7 months and that was fine. We had great staff in the infant room and the director would often jump in as an extra set of hands. Starting between 1 and 2 may be difficult because so many kids have separation anxiety then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:14 PM Flag
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I started my dc at 2.9 and it was a long day but he adjusted. However he gave up his nap and it wasn't easy for him. It would have been better just a little bit later but you do what you have to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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In a perfect world, we would get paid maternity/paternity leave until 12 MO, then the babies could go to high-quality government subsidized daycare. Short of that, whenever they can crawl. Short of that, whenever their parents need to get back to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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I can't imagine sticking everyone with the bill for that. By the way, countries that have this "paid maternity/paternity leave" have strict rules. You have to have worked for a certain amount of time to qualify--and it's only a percentage (around 50%) of your salary (up to a pretty low cap) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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why not? We pay for a lot things that you may not want to pay for, but it's for the greater good of society. Parents who NEED to return to work are often faced with tough decisions with regards to childcare. Most people don't have millions of dollars in cash in their bank accounts to afford aupairs, housekeepers and the like. Most of us are middle class people who struggle with tough decisions and pray for the best with handing our child over to a stranger or a group of strangers. I really wish we DID have more family leave and better daycare centers for all income levels! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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Nanny's not much more $ - never understand why people use daycare - You have to pick up/ drop off / bring food/ clothes... they're slaves to the daycare schedule. You can't send them when they're sick. The only people I know who use daycare have major trust issues or live in an area where it's much cheaper than a sitter. Everyone should do whatever works for their family - just my two cents - never saw the allure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Just moved to a high rise in Manhattan. Is it just my building or is it just commonplace for NYers to just ignore their neighbors in the elevator? Nine times out of 10, no acknowledgement and very unresponsive to even a "good morning" or "have a nice day." 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:58 PM Flag
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My building people generally smile or say hi, but not always. But they are always responsive if we do, so be the first to say it and they should follow suit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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Don't take it personally. They may be doing you a favor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:00 PM Flag
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lol this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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+2!!! I hate being obligated to speak every time afterwards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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Commonplace [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:03 PM Flag
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you should speak first then, but don't sweat it. I have gotten used to it and some days actually relish it. We had one neighbor who was showing up at our door with her DD (almost daily) during all hours of day for an impromptu playdate -- and THAT was just annoying as hell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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When I was young living on the UES, I loved that. I lived in Georgia briefly and the first day like 10 people showed up at my door asking me to go to church with them. Ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:16 PM Flag
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lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:22 PM Flag
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gotta love the south [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:33 PM Flag
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Ewwww [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] What should Michael Bolton do in response to all the people who mistakenly call him instead of Optimum for cable TV service? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:51 PM Flag
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Change his phone number [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:47 PM Flag
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Make a lot of $ on the commercial. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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hahaha...Michael Bolton...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:09 PM Flag
[ - ] How is the preschool scene in LA? Do we stand a chance if we're not on a WL when DB is born and are MC (but with interesting non-industry careers)? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:50 PM Flag
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LMAO for real? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:56 PM Flag
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Is the original poster a troll or just stupid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:03 PM Flag
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Los angeles pre schools are much easier to get in to than manhattan pre schools. No worries [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:04 PM Flag
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May i ask what neighborhood the original poster lives in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:04 PM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Is anybody else's 5yo a messy eater? Its driving me insane. I have her lean forward and eat and yet there are crumbs in her lap. She invariably gets some food in her hair too. Argh! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:41 PM Flag
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My 6 yo is like this, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:43 PM Flag
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My 6yo & 7yo re both messy eaters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:07 PM Flag
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My 6yo & 7yo re both messy eaters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:07 PM Flag
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My 6yo & 7yo re both messy eaters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:07 PM Flag
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my 6 year old is an all around mess. clothes always flithy at the end of the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there any elegant solution to this situation - we hired a nanny last year, through an agency, we like her but she has had several personal issues so she hasn't always been available to work. She recommended a friend of hers to fill in who's exceptional. The original nanny has now told us she can no longer work the schedule we had all agreed to at first. Our preference is to keep her friend because she's a much better fit for us, but the original nanny has told her friend not to agree to take the job because she wants us to work around her new schedule.. 52 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:39 PM Flag
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Fire original and hire the friend - if she doesn't say yes find another [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:37 PM Flag
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OP - the problem is that the friend is loyal to our original nanny and we don't want to create any strive. We've offered to provide a reference for original nanny to find a better fit but she still seems to be bitter about it for some reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:46 PM Flag
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You don't need the drama you need an exceptional nanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:42 PM Flag
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Agreed, I was just trying to figure out if there's a no drama way to deal with this and there does not seem to be. Everyone is saying to just start a new search for what we need, which hasn't changed since last year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:00 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:47 PM Flag
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It is up to you, you know who you like best, but I would fire the old nanny, sounds manipulative to me, just tell her it is not going to work, maybe then her friend cAn take the job or you may have to find someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:47 PM Flag
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Thanks, I'm a FT WOHM so am trying to avoid a totally new search and the disruption to DCs but I guess this is the only real solution [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:48 PM Flag
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You are paying her, you set the hours not the nanny, find someone else. Just tell her is not going to work out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:47 PM Flag
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The friend told you this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:48 PM Flag
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You are too busy for this drama. Get a brand new nanny. The other 2 can fill in for babysitting nights. Competition is good! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:48 PM Flag
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Nanny here: Honestly there is not going to be an elegant solution to this. You set a schedule and you find someone who can provide those hours, your current nanny is not able to do this, I find ridiculous that you have to accommodate the time for her and no professional that your nanny is expecting you to do so. Just be honest, " things are not working out" then it is up to her friend if she wants to take the job or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:44 PM Flag
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Pp- if the nanny stills not allowing her friend to take the job, it just shows how selfish and greedy she is, you still win getting rid of her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:46 PM Flag
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OP - where can I find a professional nanny who's great with DCs, articulate and internet savvy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:58 PM Flag
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Internet savvy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:00 PM Flag
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Nanny : If you are looking for a basic internet knowledge trust me, almost every nanny out there knows how to send an email. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:02 PM Flag
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Or look for directions, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:02 PM Flag
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look for new nanny tell the one you have that unless she can work the hours you need you'll have to replace her. Let her know there will be a bonus for staying until you replace her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:53 PM Flag
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Trust me the old nanny is going to be bitter because you are firing her, there is not way this is going to have a happy ending. But if it needs to be done, just do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:48 PM Flag
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OP - and I'm the one who should be bitter! Less than six months after we paid an agency to find her she decided she didn't want to work full time and has been giving us the run around for months. OK it seems like I need to just phase her out and move on. Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:58 PM Flag
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Please do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:03 PM Flag
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You didn't get any kind of guarantee from the agency? The one we used did the second search for free when we had to replace our first nanny within a year. The second person we found through them was great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:10 PM Flag
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Which agency? The one we used only gave a 3 month guarantee [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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Which agency? The one we used only gave a 3 month guarantee [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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I might start a new search from scratch-- the ongoing relationship between old nanny and friend would make me uncomfortable. Especially because the friend listens to the old one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:48 PM Flag
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This, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:49 PM Flag
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x2. We're talking nannies here, not brain surgeons. There are a lot of them out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:51 PM Flag
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Still there are a lot of brain surgeons out there, do not dimish someone's job. If you have a great nanny ( and Op is not the case) it may be difficult to find another one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:00 PM Flag
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Whatever nanny, you are not a brain surgeon and your job is a fucking piece of cake. STFU. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:01 PM Flag
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If its not that hard then why don't you raise your own kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:57 PM Flag
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Because I have an important career. I went to an Ivy for a reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:05 PM Flag
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Then don't rag on the person raising your kids for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:02 PM Flag
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If a nanny were clever she wouldn't be a nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:10 PM Flag
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OP - the second nanny is exceptional, that's why we don't want to lose her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:59 PM Flag
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If her loyalty lies with the other nanny, that's a bit of a problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:05 PM Flag
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Oh, please. Nearly anyone can take care of kids (some people are better than others) while very few people can be brain surgeons. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:05 PM Flag
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Tell that to the Krims [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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What on earth does that have to do with the FACT that most anyone is capable of providing childcare (and I did mention some are better than others). Rogue evil isn't that common, tragic as that case is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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So what happens tomorrow, OP? I would tell her ASAP that unless she can work the hours YOU need, you will have to find someone new. Offer the friend the position and if she is uncomfortable taking the job - start from scratch. Am sorry you are going through this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 05:58 PM Flag
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We've been making do with her friend who's very flexible and available at short notice. It was just this week that the original nanny told me that she wants us to commit to her new hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:01 PM Flag
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I posted earlier--I still don't think that the friend option is great bc of ongoing relationship with old nanny. They will talk, old nanny will press for details, old nanny will already have a grudge against you. Better a clean slate go through agency again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:07 PM Flag
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Thanks you're probably right, we don't have anything to hide, but it does seem that the original nanny thinks we owe her something for some reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:15 PM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:01 PM Flag
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What kind of solution are you looking for. You can offer the job to the nannies friend, she is free to decline it for whatever reason she likes. It may be that maintaining her friendship is more important than working for you. It's pretty clear you need a new nanny, but you can't expect your current nanny to be happy about losing her job. FWIW I think you need to provide an honest reference for her regardless if she "lets" her friend work for you. That's your obligation as an employer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:07 PM Flag
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OP - agreed, the honest reference would be that she's a great nanny when she shows up, but she has some personal issues that have been a distraction and ultimately her lifestyle has changed and she only wants to work part time. I'm trying to find a solution that will allow the second nanny to feel comfortable staying on to work with us, without losing her friendship with our original nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:04 PM Flag
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I don't think this is an option. It's an awkward situation and the friend taking the job will hurt your current nannies feelings. This is not your problem, but it is the friends problem. How would you feel if you were let go from your job and replaced with a friend who you introduced to the company? Don't you think that would cause some issues in your friendship? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:17 PM Flag
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OP - yes, for sure, I understand that perspective. But, if I decided that I couldn't do the job anymore I'd help to find a replacement and be happy to facilitate the transition. I wouldn't have any feelings of ill will or regrets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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Could you offer to pay the current nanny a finders fee similar to what you would give an agency? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:16 PM Flag
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That's a great idea, thank you! What I've been doing to date is working down all of her vacation, sick, personal days etc. So basically continuing to pay her even though she's only working 1-2 days a week. It is only now that she's out of those days and about to lose some of her income that she decided to let us know she's not going to come back at all as originally promised. But we just want to move on so I like this solution. THANK YOU! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:18 PM Flag
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As most posters have said, you need to let this lady go. She is manipulative and not the nanny you need anyway. Why won't agency help you find a new one for a discount rate? If it's less than a year later, they should feel a little responsibility here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:10 PM Flag
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Thanks, I'll call and ask them about it. Hadn't occurred to me that their contract might be negotiable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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Talk to your nanny. Tell her that the new schedule will not work end of story. Tell her that she has not been reliable even if not her fault and that you will end your working relationship with her no matter what. If she is ok with her friend taking the job with you then you can afford a generous severance for her since you don't need to train her friend. If the friend can not work for you the severance will be much less generous. The end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:21 PM Flag
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OP - you think I need to pay her severance when she has basically quit? She's legal and works on the books so I don't want to make any mistakes, I assumed she wouldn't qualify for unemployment as she has given up the position. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.19.13, 06:24 PM Flag
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