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[ - ] Transgender high school student allowed to use the girl's bathroom and the girls w/ parents protest. Here's the link - http://www.people.com/article/transgender-student-backlash-girls-restroom Thoughts? I agree with the other students, and I'm as liberal as they come. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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Why would you agree? Maybe you're not as liberal as you think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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That student isn't some pervert. She is probably way more self conscious than anyone else in that locker room. Small minded midwesterners. God I hate Missouri. So much hate from those supposedly godly people. Hypocrites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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op: unfortunately, they are right. If so many students feel uncomfortable, it shouldn't be allowed to happen. They've given her an alternative, but she doesn't want to use other bathroom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:44 PM Flag
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I think I'm a unicorn. I have a special bathroom at work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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It's disturbing to know so many people have your lack of empathy. This person isnt asking for their own bathroom dumb dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Is everyone but NYC back in school?@! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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Albany schools start next week (after Labor day) but I only know this because I know someone up there. I imagine other upstate schools are on similar calendars. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Is everyone but NYC back in school?@! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] A co-worker just told me that of course his wife is home with the kids (no, I did not ask) because it's important that the mom is home when DCs are young. He knows I have 2 young DCs so I am not sure why he felt he had to tell me this. I would have loved to respond that my DH earns more than he does so he does not need to feel sorry for me. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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Men are stupid. They know not what they say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:28 PM Flag
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Only his own family situation is of any relevance to him. I would bet he can't even remember if you have two boys or two girls or one of each. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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I know medics in Staten Island whose wives don't work. People are wacky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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Yeah, I know those guys too. But you have to remember- they're living in semi-attached houses with leased cars and $30,000 in credit card debt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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He's a dick - I feel sorry for his wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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I once had a client who told me (after I mentioned that I had a grade school child) that "I don't agree with that...women not being home with the kids." I just shrugged but it sort of pissed me off at the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:34 PM Flag
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How annoying! Clients can say the stupidest things, and unfortunately you just have to stay quiet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:44 PM Flag
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Men probably aren't as constantly aware of the mommy wars [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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I've heard that many times from men and women, including the 21 year old receptionist at my former office. It's just ignorant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:40 PM Flag
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Receptionist was a girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:43 PM Flag
[ - ] We finally got green-light to hire a new person on my team at work, to manage some of the many projects I currently oversee. I have not interviewed someone in a long time and usually stray from generic questions. What are some telling questions to find out if the person is someone who's going to take ownership rather than be an order taker who needs hand holding every step of the way? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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I have a question for you. Are you really ready to let someone take ownership, or are you really looking for someone who is a mind reader who does things the exact way you would have done them without having to be told that's how you want it done? Most people are looking for the latter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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I want someone to take ownership! I am not a micromanager and I value someone who gets the work done using their best judgment of how to do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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"Tell me about a project you've led in the past..." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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You need to take ownership of this job search and stop outsourcing to UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:32 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm shocked at how many people I know who have mortgages of $800k, $900k, $1.3 million, etc. I mean, that's a huge nut to carry every month, especially when you factor in the property taxes of $30k a year. Is there any reason you'd take out a mortgage that large that isn't just "I want a big house?" It seems like once you get to that level you're talking about a level of wealth that should involve a large enough down payment to avoid a $1 million mortgage. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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I would assume they can afford the monthly payment plus all expenses like taxes, upkeep, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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What job is there besides surgeon or law partner that guarantees an income of $400,000 a year for 30 years? I can't think of any, honestly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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I'm a lawyer and I don't make $400K/year, LOL! You are forgetting the entire finance industry, where people make that and much, much more in exchange for generating profits for their firm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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Right. But for 30 years? How can you take on a mortgage that costs you $8000 or $9000 a month for 30 years in a finance job that you could lose next year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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Why do you assume everyone has a 30-year mortgage? We have a 15-year mortgage, for example. We refinanced in 2011, and many, many people did the same thing in 2009-2011. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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How is this different from anyone, anywhere having a mortgage? No one has a job for life, you need somewhere to live so you make this choice. Home prices are high as are rents so getting to a point where you can pay cash/mainly cash is virtually impossible these days, almost everyone who did this or thinks like this either bought a long time ago or lives somewhere cheap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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also I have a 30 year mortgage, don't intend on staying here that long but it was the safest way to finance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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I make a bit more than $300k. I have a mortgage that we could support on half of that income. I don't get this idea that - well, I make $300k today, so I guess I'll make that forever. It's much easier to find a job at $150k if you need to (or have two parents work at $75k jobs) than to HAVE to find a $300k job in order to keep the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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Flyover mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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We have a mortgage of 1.1m on a property worth 5, because they amount is tax deductible we could have paid it off entirely but that isn't a smart financial choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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That's not what I mean though. I mean a mortgage of $1.3 on a $1.9 million house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Those people are stupid and house poor and shouldn't have been allowed to get mortgages that large. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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I don't see the big deal. You don't know what they earn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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Even if your rate is as low as 3.5%, how are you saving money paying interest over 30 years? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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Not sure why you're shocked. That's not that much. Down payment is usually 20%. Your mortgage is typically higher the more money you make. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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A few years ago the interest rates were extremely low. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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How do you know their mortgage amount or are you assuming based on the cost of their home? I know a lot of people in housing like that but they have mega family bucks (mommy and daddy gave down payment or bought in full) and/or trust funds, or they work in hedge funds, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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I know their mortgage amounts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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I have a mortgage that large, had a large downpayment too. I live in Brooklyn, it is well over $1m for a 2 bedroom. I pay less in mortgage than i did in rent for a comparable place and it is tax deductible. Property taxes are low so that is not an issue. Why save up cash for a huge downpayment when you can get a 30 year fixed mortgage for under 4%? I would have been renting for a long time to save up that money and that seems like more of a waste. Plus my costs don't go up unlike when I was renting and rent always seemed to be going up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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So why didn't you buy a cheaper place? And how are you so sure that you'll make $9000 a month forever to afford that mortgage, taxes, and insurance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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Easy for some [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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My monthly is a lot less than 9000 on a $999k mortgage. There were no cheaper places in the right school zone, it was either that or buy something cheaper and pay for private and I would rather be paying my mortgage every month than giving 80k a year to a school. At least I get a return on that money. It sounds like you know nothing about the housing market in the NYC area, we made a calculated decision where to live and how much to spend based on a lot of factors. If circumstances change then we go from there, we have a backup plan and a large enough downpayment that we wouldn't end up underwater even if we had to sell in a bad market. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:36 PM Flag
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Many people have the cash in the bank to put down if they want, but do not want all their cash tied up in a house. Want freedom and flexibility to do other things with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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1. Interest rates are quite low, so you are better off investing your capital in another asset whose returns exceed your interest rate payments (not that hard with 30-year fixed rates < 4%). 2. Assuming it is your primary residence, the interest payments are tax deductible. Using leverage prudently is a sound financial decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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this is why there's so much class envy and income disparity talk. everyone needs to live large. i thought we had to also. was going to buy a $5MM house, etc. then i realized, it is a big pain int the butt even if paid in cash. just more to take care. when i was shopping for a house in westchester, i could not believe how much people mortgaged. sometimes, they can afford it. other times, it's all smoke and mirrors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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Why are you shocked? Some people can easily afford to do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:30 PM Flag
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The houses in my neighborhood in Brooklyn (Bay Ridge) on average start at $800k, and that's the low end. They are either row houses/lime stones or ho hum single family houses left over from another era. Not big, not fancy, just the price of real estate in my area, which isn't even a trendy area by Brooklyn standards. People in NYC generally make more and there are a ton of other factors which allow them to purchase and/or finance property. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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I can see your point, but with mortgage rates being low people aren't in a rush to put more down than they need to. Or maybe they expect their income to increase over time. We put down a larger down payment because we wanted to lock in a lower rate by avoiding a JUMBO loan, and bought a less expensive house because we had just had DB1 and I didn't want to lock myself into staying at my current job so I wanted to keep our expenses low so we could have flexibility. We have spent a lot in the past few years renovating and I sometimes think we should have bought a much more expensive house since we are basically paying that much with the renovations, but we had no way of knowing our HHI would increase by 100k+ over the past 3 years, that I would still be at my job, etc and within a year our major renovations will be completed and our more expensive car will be paid off as well. (We have a large car monthly car payment and could easily pay off the balance but at .9% our money is better used elsewhere). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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So many people in my town have brand new $2m plus houses and they pay their property taxes so late. It's all online. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] I am the first and only wife, but there has never been a post on here about a SM that ever made me think anything other than "No wonder your DH left you..." 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Please come back in 10 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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Are you insinuating that I'm a newlywed? I've been married for over 30 years, I got 3 kids successfully out of the house and 2 married off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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You can be whomever you want on the internet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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you sound like an idiot. and old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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Old, maybe, but an idiot I am not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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And fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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omg. shut up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:28 PM Flag
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I agree. They seem to lose all rationality and ability to think objectively. It's bizarre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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So bizarre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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I sort of agree. All rational thinking goes out the window. My mom is in her 70s and still obsessing about my dad's 2nd wife, and dad died 5 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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It's insane. Obviously not all divorced women fall into this category, but the ones ranting and raving on UB do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:38 PM Flag
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Seriously. These ladies live life constantly looking for a new battle to fight over. They just can't let go. Of course their ex DH is shaking his head thank the Lord he escaped the crazy. Not all divorced women act this way but there seems to be subset on UB, supported by equally crazy soon to be ex DW's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:35 PM Flag
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Yes, exactly this. I know many divorced women who are great women and mothers. Not all divorced women "deserved to get left". But there is a certain group on UB that just makes you wonder how they manage to get through life so enraged about everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:37 PM Flag
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Right, that's why second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Very 1% problem but my oldest DD (almost 8) has made it very clear she does not like our brand new Au Pair. Youngest DD loves her and we think she's warm, mature, trustworthy, etc. Any advice? BTDT? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:10 PM Flag
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Teach her that sometimes in life you have to deal with people you don't like. She will probably come around but if not she has to be respectful anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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It's her house. I disagree. You don't like your nanny, you get rid of her. Eight year olds are not stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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What doesn't she like about her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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next week she will like her fine. familiarity is a powerful silent factor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:13 PM Flag
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Maybe she's just being contrarian if her younger sister already seems close. Could be jealousy. Give them some one on one time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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Have you gently ask her why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Yes of course - she says she is "boring" and not as fun as our previous Au Pair...which doesn't jibe with our observations. I do think there is some jealousy there with the relationship with her younger sister [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:32 PM Flag
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Sounds like you are on track. She probably misses the closeness she had with the former au pair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:36 PM Flag
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Do most of her friends have aupairs? Is she embarrassed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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None of them do, but she's had one for years so I don't think it's that. She does want her own room and has absolutely called dibs on the au pair's bedroom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:43 PM Flag
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How long has it been? Takes at least a few months in my opinion. Have nanny give her a small gift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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few months? my god. she might be gone in 9. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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Aupairs ususally give small gift to kids on arrival. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:28 PM Flag
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She did that - little purses with their names on them! I don't think this is on the au pair, although she needs to help us steer to a solution. She's very sweet and trying not to take it personally but she's Latin so it's hard. Our other Au Pairs were German so it's cracking my DH and I up that our DD is complaining that this one isn't "fun" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:41 PM Flag
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^^and I know these are stereotypes but I've worked all over the world and I find the warmth part of different cultures to be spot-on for the most part (YMMV) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:42 PM Flag
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Give the au pair some special money that she is allowed to use for special treats for DD (and sister), e.g. ice cream, going to Starbucks, taking her to a fun show, doing something that DD enjoys. You want to enable the au pair to create events where DD and au pair have fun and good experiences together, and you also want au pair to come across as generous. It can be tough though. We have mostly been lucky, but also experienced situations where the dynamics between one of our DD and a particular babysitter was not great. Is it possible that your older DD misses your old au pair? My 10 yo never warmed up to our new nanny, but the reality is that she was very attached to and missed her old nanny terribly, so I think the new nanny was getting punished for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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PS: Don't let the kids know the money is really from you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:33 PM Flag
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Depending on age of kids, it may be tough to combine activities, and aupair may HAVE to give more attention to younger one. Can you talk to 8 YO about some other activity she might want? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I am anxiety mom from yesterday. Read this article today and it resonated with me (link in comments) 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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Can't post a link from my phone but it's huffpo called "help the overwhelmed working woman put down her super cape" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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[ - ] 4.5 dialated mom...what is your effacement? That's what matters. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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I'm not sure. When I was 2.5 last week, it was 70%. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:22 PM Flag
[ - ] How much if our sterile environment can we attribute to America's weight problem, if any? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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It's possible. It's all about gut health now, we're realizing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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Maybe. I heard of a study between a mouse with good guy bacteria versus a mouse with none. The mouse with none was obese. The scientists did a stool transfer and the mouse lost weight with no other changes. We use so much antibiotics for everything (even the cold virus!) I could see it contributing To obesity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:30 PM Flag
[ - ] When did your morning sickness stop? 10 weeks and it seems like it's starting to ease up, wondering if this is permanent/normal. tia. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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It started to taper off at around 13 weeks. I wasn't 100% done with it until about 18 weeks though. I'd still have a pang of nausea at means until then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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It was worst for me at 8 weeks and started to ease up by 10 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] That moment you realize your 7mo pregnant coworker looks better than you do... 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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Don't worry about it, some people glow during pregnancy-I did. It was after childbirth that it all fell apart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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that was my case too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:39 PM Flag
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Do you mean she has a smaller stomach than you, and you are not pregnant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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That would be something. No. She just looks better. Better hair, makeup, clothes. I want to hide under my desk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:10 PM Flag
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Those things are all within your control! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:13 PM Flag
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This! I totally overcompensated in hair, makeup, clothes during pregnancy because I at least had control over that... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:21 PM Flag
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My hair has never looked better than while pregnant! It stops shedding as much so it's naturally fuller. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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hair looks during pregnancy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Yea I see a lot of preggos skinnier than me. I cant figure out if it's worse that I'm chunky or they're anorexic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:34 PM Flag
[ - ] I posted here yesterday about being 4.5 cm dilated and how long it should be before labor. Well, my DH is freaking out and has called his parents, saying they need to get here TODAY because the birth is imminent. Now, my in-laws are going to be sleeping in our guest bedroom until Sunday. I'm only 37 weeks and 1 day. I'm not contracting very often, and I certainly don't think we're at DEFCON 1 here. I just feel like this is going to turn into a whiny "We took off work for this! Why hasn't the baby come yet!? Can't you be induced since we're already here?!" situation. Siiiiigh. 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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Well you had the option to hire a babysitter and you did not do it. So this is the option you have left. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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OP: It had nothing to do with a babysitter. I actually had a friend's babysitter's number in my phone for the afternoon. My DH literally freaked the hell out when we left the OB's office and called his parents. I had no idea this was going to happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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Tell him to call them back and say he jumped the gun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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^^^or do it yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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OP: They're already en route. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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They can turn around [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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lol, This is why so many of you have shitty relationships with your inlaws. Do not take this advice, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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I have a great relationship with my ILs, actually. They would understand that DH is nervous and overreacting and would not want to impose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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This. He needs to call them and tell them not to come yet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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OP: I told him this, and he said, "Are you joking!? 4.5 cm yesterday.. probably 5 now. I'd be surprised if the baby wasn't here by Saturday!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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So call yourself. Or just let them come and be a whiny martyr for the next 3 weeks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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Hire a babysitter! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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Tell him to call and cancel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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omg nooooo. I was at 5cm for almost 3 weeks! By contractions, do you mean Braxton-Hicks? You will know if it's the real deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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OP: I've been having some legit contractions, but they're few and far between. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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If this is your first, you often go late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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OP: Our 3rd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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oh, ok. different story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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your husband is an ass, but you know that...tell dh he has to deal with them now that they are coming, or you can just call them yourself and say dh has over reacted, no need to come so early - we'll call with progress updates over the next week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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Her husband is not an ass - it sounds like he cares very much about his wife, and he wants to make sure she's safe and that they are covered. What he's doing may be inconvenient, but he's trying to make the right call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:27 PM Flag
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I don't know. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but 4.5 cm is pretty far, so it might be nice to have them right there and available if it does happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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You're 4.5 cm and having some contractions? And it's your third? I'm with the above poster who thinks it sounds like you're pretty far along. Call your doctor! What does s/he say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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OP: I just had an appointment yesterday. I asked if it was probably going to happen before the weekend. She shrugged and said something like, "Meh, maybe not." She said I was 4.5 cm and she poked the baby in the head because she was so low. She definitely did not have even an ounce of urgency though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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But you have two other kids. You're at a point when you should be getting rest and not straining. I think you ILs can help with the other kids, and maybe this is a good thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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It's always more work than help having people in your home though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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Yes, I know, but maybe if she uses them - has MIL make meals, has them take the kids out, they can be helpful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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Do you have kids? Or ILs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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I have two kids and I also have ILs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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NP: it sounds like a good idea in theory, but doesn't tend to work that way in practice. My mom ended up staying with us for a week before #3 was born - I love my mom, but I was stressed out and not feeling well, DH was stressed out, older DC were acting out a bit which stressed my mom out, etc. I get along great with my ILs, but can't imagine hosting them in that situation [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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^^^WebMD says that after 37 weeks, delivery could occur at any time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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Yep, it's definitely going to happen sometime in the next 5 weeks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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This is her THIRD child. My mother had five kids and labor was shorter for each subsequent child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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OP: Yep. My 2nd was born at 37w6d, and labor was only 3 hours long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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And she has a back-up sitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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See, I agree with her DH's approach. I think if she took a long walk and maybe did the horizontal tango, the baby would be here within 18 hrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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Walk like crazy. All day. Everyday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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OP: I don't necessarily want to make her come before she's ready though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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There is nothing you can do to speed up delivery. It is all wives takes. Walking, spicy food, none of it is real. Baby will come when baby is ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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I do think acupuncture helps though, when 38/39 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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Lol. Acupuncture is a scam. It's all mental. Baby won't come til it's ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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np: ITDA re: acupuncture. It can be helpful for many conditions, if done by a skilled practitioner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:29 PM Flag
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Sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:31 PM Flag
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I suspect that when you go, you will GO very quickly. DH is obviously panicking; I hope he gets over that real soon. But you are pretty close, and I think it will be very fast when your contractions start to get into a pattern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:22 PM Flag
[ - ] If you are divorced, how happy are you? I know that is a broad question, TIA. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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What if you're remarried? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Very [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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What do you think has contributed to you being happy after divorce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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I'm very happy I'm not married to the man I divorced. I have the usual ups and downs with kids/work/health. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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That sounds pretty normal. Is it hard/lonely to navigate the ups and downs on your own, or do you feel you do OK with that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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I feel very ok with that. So nice not to have ex second guessing me and criticizing me. He was never a source of comfort -- more like the opposite. I'd have a bad day at work and his was always worse. Now I can self-comfort and take care of myself more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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Sounds like a much better situation, GL to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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Thanks. It took me a long time to get to the point where I was ready to file. I really believe in marriage but mine was so awful and I felt so down I knew I had to get out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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very happy to be independent in decision making and finances. I am in control of my life. that is a huge factor in my contentment. very happy to be in a relationship with an emotionally mature, smart, loving, kind, financially secure boyfriend. lingering sadness that absolutely kids should see an intact loving parent relationship modeled and we never had that (with kids). definite stress that I feel like a single parent even though my ex is involved. he is not a take charge person or a natural parent if that makes sense. kid responsibilities stress him out and can diminish his "me" time. on balance--content and happy but realistic, and I was miserable in marriage but knew it had to be given the maximum chance due to the kids. I would have hung onto marriage but my ex wanted out. he was right in the sense that I later acknowledged it was irreparable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:07 PM Flag
[ - ] My part-time (25 hr/wk) job recently ended. We have a fulltime (40hr/wk) nanny for two kids. I am actively looking for a new job. DH wants me to let nanny go or cut way, way back on her hours in order to save money. I am hesitant to do that because I am hoping to find a new job soon - so far it's been a month - and I feel like I will want to re-hire her again and don't want to risk losing her. What would you do? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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Discuss with her. Tell her your intentions. Set her up at sensible sitters or the like. On days when she isn't needed encourage her to take a temp job. If she doesn't find a temp job, then you use her. And pay her. If she gets the temp job you're off the hook. Maybe she wouldn't mind working half weeks or taking some time off unpaid to get stuff done. Have a conversation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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op: I probably do need to have a conversation with her soon. I get the feeling that she needs the full salary every week, but I guess could be wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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That conversation will result in the nanny looking for a different FT job. Actually, she already is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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op: she doesn't know about job yet though because I am using the time I spent working to focus on job search. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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If you are looking for work, you can't let her go. If you would rather stay home, that's another story. Do you want to go back full time? Finding PT is very hard. I was also laid off and home for now, not ready to go FT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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op: I am open to FT and am applying to those jobs, but would prefer PT since kids are small. Don't really want to SAH though. I agree, it's difficult to find! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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Can you afford to keep her while you look? One month is not very long but I guess it depends on how long you were looking beforehand. If you can, I would do that as she will likely find something else in the meantime. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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op: We can probably afford it for another month or so, comfortably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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Of course you can, esp. if you can afford to work part-time instead of full-time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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I would keep the nanny for now. Finding a good nanny s not easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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Curious and not being snarky. How much does DH earn that allows you to work part-time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] If you are going to post to Facebook asking for prayers because someone's life is at stake, it's kind of bad form to respond to a request for an update with "please everyone understand the family is going through a very difficult time and has other things to do than post on FB." 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:36 PM Flag
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agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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LOL LOL LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Unfriend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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If I did that I would be unfriending the person who is perhaps dying. People are posting as representatives of the family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Hahaha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Just had breakfast with sil who was aghast that I'm pregnant and had goat cheese in my omelet. Starting quizzing me about whether I eat sushi and if I'm aware of the mercury content of certain seafood. When I remained nonchalant she implied that I probably drink alcohol (I don't even drink not pregnant). Lord help me not strangle this woman... 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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is this your first? for some reason, as soon as your are pregnant and esp. after you have kids, many people feel free to express out loud the internal judgements they have been making all along. get used to it. I just pretend they are talking in the charlie brown teacher voice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:37 PM Flag
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No my second. I don't know why I'm surprised or upset. She makes comments about my parenting all the time so why would pregnancy be off limits? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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I like to fuck with people like that. Just feign ignorance ("sushi's bad for you? really?") or keep asking questions until they run out of "facts." Ask her how mercury works and in what amounts you need to ingest it. Then ask if freshwater fish have mercury, or only salt water, etc. Most people talk out of their asses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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You are a pita [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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yeah, probably, but as my only goal is to amuse myself, I can live with that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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Or contradict her. "Oh, you didn't read the latest? Now, they think goat cheese fights ADHD." -NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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She's the type of person who would avoid any food she heard for any reason from any source could possibly be risky. Even if the information was later disproved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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LOL, we have the same SIL. Mine once literally grabbed a piece of rum cake away from me at a party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Lol. Kinda love this but could never do it with a straight face [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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that would be annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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you prob should be aware of mercury content if you eat a lot of fish- I carry a list to use in restaurants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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You should go out with OP's SIL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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Wtf! You can still eat goat cheese if it's pasteurized, and unless you're going to some ~*speciality*~ cheese shop, it HAS to be pasteurized. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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np: Raw milk cheese is sold in the US - both cow and goat milk - but under federal law it has to be aged 30 days or more. It's not a threat. Buying raw milk straight off the farm, however... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:34 PM Flag
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maybe she was trying to be helpful, just let her know you know the risks and you are consciously making your food decisions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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No, tell her to mind her own business! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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It's my 6th pregnancy. 1 dd, 4 early mc and 2 2nd tri mc. She needs to stfu [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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*** 1 2nd tri mc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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whatever works for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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Curious. Do French people avoid dairy while pregnant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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No! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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Do you think the French have more and better gut bacteria which attributes to them being able to handle so much rich food? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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Smile and nod. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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Ignore her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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Avoiding her sounds better! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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You can't eat sushi? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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wait, a pregnant woman should avoid goat cheese? Why? Raw milk? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.02.15, 02:14 PM Flag
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