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[ - ] not one success academy student got a high enough score to get into one of the specialized high schools, do you think because they can't monitor the shsat is why, can't we assume they might tweak monitoring techniques a little when giving the state exams? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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I am assuming they are not smart enough, but what SA shows is they can educate the kids well enough to go to good, but not great, HS and colleges. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Of course, Success Academy takes kids of average intelligence and gets them prepared to do the very best they can in life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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IMHO, that is no small accomplishment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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I think it's because state exams measure proficiency, and SHSAT measures above-grade level ability. State exams are relatively easy. Acceleration for specialized high schools is not the model of SA and other back to basic charter schools. Even kids who score 4s with relative ease on state exams will be challenged by SHSAT... - parent who has dealt with charters, G&T and specialized high school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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but you would think one of them would get a score high enough to get into at least brooklyn latin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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NP - every child I know who has taken the SHSAT had outside tutoring [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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Good grief. Why such an obsession with success academy and specialized high schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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not an obsession, questioning, no need to have such anger... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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This is posted repeatedly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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then, close and ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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Admission to the specialized high schools requires very high inborn inherent horsepower and processing power. Not surprising that few success academy kids have that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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And tutors [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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It's not the job of elementary and middle schools to prepare children for the SHSAT. Plain and simple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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wouldn't you think eva would drill them to show her success? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Link please. How do you know this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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You have to be Tutored to preform well on the SHSAT. That's $$$. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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[ - ] BIL and SIL, plus their 2 kids, are moving into our weekend house. Please help. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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You will durvive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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Barf. Has DH read them a list of rules, including they must keep everything clean, stay out of certain rooms and respect you? If not, I would be looking at divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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Not at all. He's very laid back. It sucks. I don't want them sleeping in our bed. BIL pubes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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So tell him this is not working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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Wow. Stuff more important than a struggling family - you sound like a winner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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You missed my point. If they wont make the effort to keep stuff clean and be grateful, its on them, not OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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They need to pay rent, even if nominal changes the dynamic in a good way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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You mean they are going to live there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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For how long??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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I would just tell him, he has decided that the weekend house is for them and not you. Do you have a prenup? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] name poll: evangeline 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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Like. My friend named her DD this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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Kinda pornish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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Google evangeline and porn, nuff said [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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Too many syllables. She won't be able to spell until she's 5. 50% chance she'll not be angelic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Sounds like- evangelical [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
[ - ] OP asking about her parents apartment is the biggest advertisement against SAHM I have seen in a long time. The stupid runs strong with her. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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.... you actually know nothing about me, but thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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I work in finance, and I see this all the time. People get very confused with taxes, gains, guidelines. I work with very successful people, and I often explain what I think is basic over and over. People's brains are different. When it's truly a foreign concept, it's hard for some. Not sure why I am defending her, but I do understand her view. Also, a lot of the answers, while correct, were short, and needed more elaboration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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I'm OP of that thread. thank you. It's true, math is not my thing. Never has been. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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It is not math, it is a basic tax concept and arithmetic. I hope your kids are smarter than you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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Well then, I guess she can tell her parents to get rid of their pesky professionals. Hey, they can just handle it all themselves, because anyone can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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Anyone with 1/2 a brain can handle this degree of "complexity" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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But remember, it not math! It's tax guidelines, some real estate, etc. don't put yourself down, it's just not something you have been exposed to. The responders deal with this stuff on a regular basis. If you any to ask again your bottom line questions (for example, is it, how much cash will they net, or how much will they pay in taxes), then I will respond clearly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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I think I got enough out of it to not stay up at night worrying about my parents. Their apartment is their only major asset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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It is extremely simple- (sale price - cost) * tax rate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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You were asking if your parents would have cash. I actually think people missed that thst was your question. They (understandably) skipped over the $500k that your parents would get tax free bc they assumed thst you were asking what would be taxed and not whrher they would have any cash left over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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I work in IT and I think OPs question is very basic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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I'm actually somewhat comforted by the idea that she's not out in the real world working with people depending on her cognitive skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Stop it. She could be awesome at what she does. The scenario is very confusing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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It is not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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If it were not actually confusing to many people who do work and earn good money, the professionals with the answers on that thread would not be providing a valuable service. I just hope they don't treat their actual clients the way they some of them behaved on that thread. The dumb people who can't understand their taxes are their bread and butter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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I do not have any clients this moronic. Including widows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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I'm not moronic. I understood the final answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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You're a little harsh, but correct. I make a lot of money, and people "like" me, because I patiently explain these concepts to my clients, in the most basic terms. The responders here were short and rushed; the OP should expect an element of bitchiness from UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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+1 UB's your basic ESPN reporter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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LMAO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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How? Even if you sell a painting in an art gallery you need to figure out commission and taxes. What possible line if work requires no 0 analytical and basic arithmetic skills? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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You're kidding, right? Most jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Dumb SAHM here. I actually do work, though not full time, and my job requires a college degree but no math skills. I also have a grad degree, no math required there either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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And as long as we are on the subject, I did our household taxes for years as long as we had a simple return. When it became more complicated with investments and other investment property, accountants took over. If my husband died today, I have a rough idea of what's going on everywhere. But nope, I have never sold a property, we are still in the same first home we bought 20 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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What? Social work, education or MFA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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What is this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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It is probably not from ever using her brain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:49 PM Flag
[ - ] My nanny is really good with my one year old, but nit good with my 11 and 8 year old. That said, the 11 and 8 are awful (mostly the 11). The fight and are difficult. Most of the time, I can't stand being home with all three. She is only with all three for about 2 hours, at the end of the day, but I can tell she can't stand it. Do I find someone else or realistically speaking, will no one ever be able to handle this? (Myself included) I read that nannies hate working for 3 kids. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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If you can't stand to be around your kids, no one else will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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So stick with her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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Np: sounds like everyone will dislike them, why make her pay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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Perhaps discipline your set dc's so that people can stand being around them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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^older, not set [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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I am trying. But when I am not there, and there is no one to take control, it falls apart. I agree they suck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Violent night in the city. Ten shootings city wide. Anyone else think that there is a direct link to DeBlasio and the end of stop and frisk? 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:36 PM Flag
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Omg. Where were the shootings? Link? There are a lot more homeless people on the subway too. I hope the city isn't going downhill! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:37 PM Flag
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it is a real estate correction [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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If people have to deal with quality of life offences and don't feel safe because of climbing crime and murder rates, they will leave and the price of real estate will go down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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In your dreams sister [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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Bronx, one in manhattan and can't remember 3rd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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Not me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:37 PM Flag
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Go back to bed Mr. deBlasio [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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I'm just a NYer (30 years) who is aware of the three incidents last night and happen to disagree with your ideas about the cause and effect. If you can't handle someo e disagreeing - why did you ask the question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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You can disagree that the sky is blue doesn't make it true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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Do you feel the city is changing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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It is obvious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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So you think it will continue to get even worse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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As long as there is an idiot in Gracie Mansion [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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That isn't me - someone answered without stating NP. Fyi [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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I'm sure it is thug on thug violence. Who cares. Darwinism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Accidentally shot some bystanders - but basically yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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the end of stop and frisk will definitely have long term bad consequences for safety in the city. I also think the broken windows campaign is good for stopping crime that can become big [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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I think if these perps had connections to land 50K jobs, which is not much by NY standards btw, shootings would not exist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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so you think that a leopard can change his spots? wouldn't this just lead to more workplace violence? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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It happens every year on the first warm evening [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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data to support that statement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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did Chicago do away with a stop and frisk policy too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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You can quote stats from other places where inmates run the asylum. That is what we would like to put and end to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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The problem isn't the guns. It's the thugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Google is your friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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+1. They are very nocturnal people. Even downtown, by 2 am things will be winding down. But if you're up at Malcolm X blvd, the streets will be hopping at 2 am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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They can hop all night but if they don't have guns they can't shoot people! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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Good luck taking away the guns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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These shootings were all in BX, Bkn, and way uptown Manhattan. As long as it stays there, I dont really care about this issue. If it shows up in Midtown or UWS, let's talk again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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One was in Williamsburg. Not a bad area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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Not really. bushwich / Humboldt ave. east williamsburg. it's pretty much all puerto rican over there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Don't worry dear I am sure the bad guys will stay out of your bubble [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Its funny those are the areas where people complained about stop and frisk being unfair [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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It's called elitism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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It should have been called realism [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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np. if the blacks dont want S&F in their neighborhood, I dont see why whites should care. it's their nabe. i'd be fine, frankly if they demanded nypd to stop patrolling there. move cop attention to manhattan and just keep crime out of where we live! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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Thugs shot st bryant park ice skating rink [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
[ - ] I currently live in a three bedroom with two other people for 3k/mo. I have the opportunity to split with just one other person and pay half. I would have my own bathroom, two bedrooms, and shared garden and kitchen. I've been looking for office space for my small business. I doubt I'll find anything under $500/month with this much space. Seems like a good idea. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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You can get your own apartment for 3K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:35 PM Flag
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I can't afford 3k/mo. I can swing 1500. Pay 1000 now. My original budget was 1300 a year ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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You give up a lot of space [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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How much would you have to pay to control the spare bedroom? You would pay mor than other roommate correct? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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Explain please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone ever filed a police report because someone threatned you? What do the police do? Do they say something to the person or is the threat just on file? TIA. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:33 PM Flag
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I tried. Police told me to go home. I started a log in a Google doc shared with two close friends. Eventually person stopped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:35 PM Flag
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They told you to go home?! Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:35 PM Flag
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They didn't care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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What was the threat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Worthless and may cause you more harm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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Why more harm? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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OP: why would it cause more harm?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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They can't protect you - it pisses the other person off AND shows the other person NOTHING will happen. Read "The Gift of Fear" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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How will the person know you filed a police report? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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How will the person know you filed a police report? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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If you fear for your safety and you have physical evidence (tape recording, letter, video) then go directly to court to request an Order of Protection against this person. You dont need police help to do this. You'd have to serve this person papers, so be sure to have his/her complete name and address. A judge will hear the case then decide whether your order of P should be permanent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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I have an email from this person. She didn't specify what she would do if she sees me, but implying that if she does bump into me, something will happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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Tell her you're afraid of her. And to stop contacting you. If she continues and you feel authentically fearful, go to court. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Jumping in the shower and then to Costco. Do I need to VitaMix blender this weekend? Pros and Cons. Will towel dry and come read the responses. Start. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:27 PM Flag
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takes up a lot of space, in closet and never used [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:29 PM Flag
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very expensive, GREAT blender if you REALLY are going to use it for smoothies, juicing, soups, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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My friend lives it. Makes hot soup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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I think it's easier (and cheaper) to just get a juice every day at juice generation or something. I tried buying ingredients, washing, chopping, making, and cleaning, and it was so annoying. That said, I hate cooking in general, and I live within 1 block of about 5 juice places. I found it stressful to always worry about having the ingredients, it's easier to pick a juice, (and try new ones), and just get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:35 PM Flag
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+1. getting the volumes of ingredients that you need for juicing is arduous... fun the first time, but then it's over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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Joint cuts out all of the fiber. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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use it almost every day. I don't have the costco one but I LOVE mine. Best blender I have ever owned. I would also say it is like a food processor for some items. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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use it for smoothies, sauces, pestos, salad dressings, soups, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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i use my food processor more [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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Love mine, make smoothies all the time. Kids consume more fruit/veg because of it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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I've had mine for 13 years and use it on a daily basis, for soups, spreads, making almond milk (sort of), smoothies and so forth. Get the Vitamix. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Can't take the spoiled brats on UES Mommas anymore. It's a great resource in many ways - just wish I could filter out all the "my nanny is on her phone all the time - how do I talk to her about this?" And "how can I nickel and dime my nanny while we are in the Hamptons?" questions. Oh, and "My 2-week old wakes up a lot at night how do I sleep train???" 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:18 PM Flag
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omg - totally agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:27 PM Flag
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Yes honestly - they are so immature, type A and annoying. Like they have never had a real problem in their lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:36 PM Flag
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What's UES mommas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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UES Mommas FB group. Pretty neurotic, helpless group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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Ooh I have to look it up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:52 PM Flag
[ - ] I hired a ft person who spends 60% of her workday doing housekeeping and 40% on childcare. She does basic cleaning and cooks for kids for the most part but doesn't do deep cleaning unless I specifically point out tasks, doesn't cook for us as we agreed unless I specify this daily and doesn't do any organizing, sorting etc at all ever. She is ok with kids. Would you keep her or replace? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:15 PM Flag
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If it was part of the original agreement, I'd get it all down in writing and review it with her. If she continues not to do what you've asked, I'd find someone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:17 PM Flag
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^that being said, housekeeping and childcare seem best divided among two people. You can't get someone good at both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:17 PM Flag
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IA and I didn't expect her to be a great nanny (she is good enough not great) I did expect her to be a good housekeeper/cook. I would say she is better with kids than I expected but much worse at housekeeping than I would like. Next fall the childcare hours will be even lower than they are now that's why I am pondering. I could probably hire a much better nanny for summer who will be doing more with kids and then a much better housekeeper in the fall but am not sure if all the changes are worth it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:24 PM Flag
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It was definitely agreed upon in advance and why I replaced the old long term nanny as I needed a housekeeper more than nanny. How does writing anything any better than verbal agreement? We aren't going to go to court. She doesn't deny we agreed for her to cook for the family or clean daily. She just expects me to manage details while I expect her to step up and figure out that yellow toilet and water spots on bathroom mirrors require cleaning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:21 PM Flag
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you don't need to get mad at me. sometimes having a written contract, two signatures, can help - verbal you can ignore, something you've agreed to can be vague. Anyway, backing off now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:24 PM Flag
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Sorry, I am just very frustrated with her. My apologies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:26 PM Flag
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It's very frustrating, I'm sure! (not snarky) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:30 PM Flag
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Thanks! I know I sound lazy but I am not. My dh travels for work, I have 3 kids to get to school in am and manage after 6pm + weekends and 3 large projects to manage at work. I don't want to manage cleaning and cooking too. It's easier for me to cook then write a detailed daily work plan for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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+1. You csn think you have agreed to two totally different things when not in writing. She can think she agreed to cook when you ask and to clean what you tell her to. You think she agreed to meal plan for the entire family and develop a schedule for deep cleaning that she doesn't need to check with you on - heck, maybe you are even on the same page on that but she thinks needed frequency is a lot less than you do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:28 PM Flag
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Thanks. She knows she agreed to cook and clean and does so with no issues when Micromanage her daily. I do not want to do this. I want her to clean the bathrooms if they are dirty without having to ask [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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Replace [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:17 PM Flag
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Probably replace, but in the period while you are looking see if it can be fixed because you may not one anyone better. On Monday, sit down and say you just want to go over basic duties to make sure you are in the same page for the week. Tell her that you would like to have a schedule so you know what to anticipate but she is free to be the one to set it. How many days is she supposed to cook for thr fsmily, 4 or 5? As her to start telling you each week what she plans to cook for thr family for the week - this week she can tell you on Tiesday. Fro cleaning, ask what day she wil do bathrooms v kitchen v sheets and towels laundry v overall vacuuming so you know what to expect. Walk away from thr chat with an agreed cleaning schedule for dinner, agreement on what she will cook that night and an expectation that she will tell you on Tuesday for the rest of thr week. Next Monday, remind her about cooking schedule and ask if she will follow th sw cleaning achedule as previous week or plans to switch any of thr days arouns [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:22 PM Flag
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I tried. That's the biggest issue and she will not plan. She expects me to plan and micromanage her while I prefer to cook myself and get a professional cleaner if I have to micromanage her daily. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:26 PM Flag
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Only solution then is to replace [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:28 PM Flag
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Again!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Lately I feel everything DH does bugs me. I feel like I've kind of just checked out emotionally. I'm committed to making it work but I'm feeling resentful about a lot of things and talking about it with him didn't help. I don't want to torpedo our marriage but I'm just so annoyed lately. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:13 PM Flag
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Try drinking a litle wine and lowering your standards [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:17 PM Flag
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I prefer pills. Can't seem to get any. Alcohol kills me lately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:20 PM Flag
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nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:30 PM Flag
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It's hard. You can ignore the annoying things IF you are getting something that makes you feel special/loved. So maybe you can shift mindset? Do things that make him feel special and tell him you miss the old days when he used to... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:35 PM Flag
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When he's not working, he lays in bed and eats watching Netflix. I'm sure he ever did much in the "old days." I recognize I made this bed I'm now sleeping in, but I feel like I don't need him at all. I love when he travels. We have two little kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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Look, walk or get your shit together. Living in quiet desperation is not an option and is TERRIBLE for your children. Do what needs to be done. Either way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you know anyone (woman) whose DH is gay? If so does she know or is it to done to keep up appearances? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:06 PM Flag
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No, but I know a couple of single 40 something guys who are in deep denial about themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:09 PM Flag
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Do you think they play both sides? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:11 PM Flag
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We truly don't think so. It's very strange. They date women but don't every show any signs of committing, and they behave around them like someone's made them take their sister to the prom. There are other gay men in our circle so one would hope no prejudices or fears. One is very close with his very jewish family, though. The other one seems to want to pretend he's just playing the field, but he gets hit on everywhere by gay men. He doesn't seem to like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:16 PM Flag
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Is it possible they are asexual? I know a lot of middle aged men who are grossed out by the thought of sex w women and also grossed out by the thought of sex with men [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:19 PM Flag
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The first one we think has definitely become asexual at this point, although he does take mysterious solo trips to Las Vegas every so often. The other one seems to continue to chase appearances for some reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:22 PM Flag
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Would have thought solo trips to sf or sobe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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Do the women have a clue? Assume he acts like he hates the male attention [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:23 PM Flag
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At this point everyone would have to know there are red flags - 48 never married. But he is very good looking and I think women want to believe what they want to believe. They cross their fingers. But nothing ever progresses and one day they're gone, "it just didn't work out." etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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Maybe he also sleeps with men on the DL or is in finance where gay is a no no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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Yes, and she knows and it is done to keep up appearances. She has a gigantic ring, an easy life in some ways. It's not the worst thing for either of them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:11 PM Flag
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SAHM? One way to a nice life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:24 PM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:31 PM Flag
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In Tokyo something like 25 percent of the men have lost all interest in sex. They are called herbivore men [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:20 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:36 PM Flag
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Yes, a good friend got divorced 10 years because her DH was gay. When she was struggling with two teenage girls, he moved in their house to co-parent. My friend is quirky, but loves the arrangement....her ex is tidy, cooks,is a great dad, and she doesn't have to have sex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:20 PM Flag
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My sister and she knew it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:28 PM Flag
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What happened, kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Gay adoptive dad here. Most of the men I had sex with (before finding my partner) were married men. Most would cruise me at the gym, hotel gym while on biz trips, or at the playground with my kid. UES here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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that is rather disturbing. Wish they would be honest to themselves and their wives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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So true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Assume they didnt have sex with their wives or felt that they were stuck in their relationship. Were they all middle aged and dumpy or hot? Have to think that a too buff and groomed man in his 40's might be gay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:02 PM Flag
[ - ] My StepMIL seems to think I grew up poor for some reason. I did not but how do I tell her that without sounding like a stuck up snot? It's getting to me how she treats me like I am not good enough to deserve the things I have and that I am putting on airs. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:56 PM Flag
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Just ignore her and keep grandkids from her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:59 PM Flag
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Why does she think you grew up poor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:00 PM Flag
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My parents died when I was young and I was raised by my older sister. She doesn't understand that my dad had a good job and let money to provide for me. And she doesn't understand that I was raised to be independent and pay for things myself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:05 PM Flag
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She is incredibly insensitive. My SM is like that too, she resents that most of my dad's estate will go to me and my sister, not her kids. She hates me, my DH and my sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:13 PM Flag
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Your dad's estate should go to you and your sister. She should get something for being a spouse but that is it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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She gets use of the house, that's it. Prenup baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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Get a Taser and use as necessary [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:01 PM Flag
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Intriguing. You're saying that people who grow up poor and subsequently do well don't deserve it? I would have thought that, if anything, people who have to earn what they have are more deserving! (I grew up UMC and feel very grateful for the opportunities I've had that others haven't.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:04 PM Flag
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Easier if poor stayed poor, less NOKD to deal with [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:07 PM Flag
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Ick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:08 PM Flag
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Rude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:11 PM Flag
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Idk again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:13 PM Flag
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I think you are misreading the post - MIL's actions suggest this sentiment, not OP's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:13 PM Flag
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I don't think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:15 PM Flag
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It's weird-I think she resents my self sufficiency and replaced it with saying its wrong that my sister didn't pay for my wedding or other things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:31 PM Flag
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Annoying, but just ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:05 PM Flag
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She is. And her daughter in law did grow up poor and now flies to Florida every weekend and that is right. Insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:31 PM Flag
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You have to put her in her place. No apologies. You run this show - not her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:14 PM Flag
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I'm first generation Chinese-American. My MIL is convinced my "ancestors" came over to work on the railroads and laundries. Many did - but my parents came to the US to study. She would never admit to being racist, but she really wants me defined a certain way. Your MIL also wants to put you in a certain box - it's really frustrating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:15 PM Flag
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My MIL said she would be willing to "adopt" me because she thinks I had a horrible childhood and my parents suck. I told DH to please tell her to go F herself. I had a great childhood, my parents loved me and love me, and I love them. She thinks because they both worked, and I was home alone with my sister, we were neglected. She greeted DH every day with warm cookies and milk. She still buys his underwear, and honestly, she created a dependent, useless man. She tries to do everything for my kids, and I tell her to stop it. And that no, I do not need to be adopted by her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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As an example, when she found out that DD (12) gets dropped off at the corner, instead of in front of our apartment, she was outraged, that she has to walk 20 feet with her backpack. Geez!!! Or if DH has a sniffle, she panicks, asks if he is working too hard, getting enough sleep, etc. Meanwhile, I make twice his salary, get no sleep, and do all the house stuff. Infuriating! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:03 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O What to buy 15 year old? Chanel bag won out, no Louboutins. Now she's talking about her nose, is it too young for that? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:55 PM Flag
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No, why wait, even 14 is ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:59 PM Flag
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I wouldn't have bought her any of those things. Maybe a gift card at Old Navy. You have a very spoiled, materialistic kid on your hands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:14 PM Flag
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She's fairly typical in Westchester, don't see anything wrong with this. Surgery is a bit more serious than a bag though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:25 PM Flag
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you don't? Troll. A chanel bag is ludicrous on a teenager. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:31 PM Flag
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You obviously don't know this area [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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Discuss with plastic surgeon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 02:04 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O from real estate purchases. I also bought a house recently in an upcoming neighborhood. Another house just sold 2 weeks ago for 50% more than mine. It is comparable. The other house is 400 sqf larger and throughout a bit higher end (lager and newer windows, better kitchen and more light due to the larger windows). Should I sell my new house? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:51 PM Flag
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Is it for investment? Would say no, prices likely to continue to climb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:56 PM Flag
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Maybe wait for a bit and then sell? I didn't buy it for investment but I would love to make a bit of money - I actually need it anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:57 PM Flag
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If you need it then sell! Congrats!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:59 PM Flag
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Arent buyers going to see the price you paid two months prior? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:05 PM Flag
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Yes but too bad if they arent saavy investors. If the want the property they have to pay up. Thats NYC real estate 101 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:08 PM Flag
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The property was listed for much more months ago. There was a combination of a too high asking price too early, then we made an offer after seller had come down substantially. It took us a long time to close (over 3 months) and by now, the entire road was repaved, and a similar house was sold for 50% more. Sotheby's is selling brand new developments there for astronomical prices. I think now the seller could have gotten at least his original asking price. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:18 PM Flag
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Congrats again, you deserve the payoff after all of this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:26 PM Flag
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For me it would have to be a profit of at least 100K to justify all the hassle of selling and moving so soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:43 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel like I made a huge mistake. I left a boutique firm which was dwindling to go back to big law. I don't know if I can hack it there. Also, I just bought a house and you guys told me it's likely moldy (mold inspection and four other inspections didn't reveal anything). I am in panic mode. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 12:44 PM Flag
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Wow, so the self-professed experts here know your new house is moldy, even though the mold inspection says otherwise? Wow, what pompous blow-holes we have here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:09 PM Flag
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The mold inspector took air samples, used infrared cameras, was in the house for 2 or more hours. It does smell a bit. Could be because it wasn't aired in months, I don't know. The roof is new, was inspected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:14 PM Flag
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Hmm ... sounds more scientific than someone with none of those samples, and indeed no data whatsoever, pontificating over the internet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:17 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:21 PM Flag
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OP. I am really cautious about mold and asked my DH to follow up with mold inspector to confirm. There are some spores in the air, but it's the same as outside. He said there is no such thing as sterile air and it's all within normal levels. If there were mold, he said there would be a much higher concentration. Maybe it's humidity? It smells like wood in there. I hope it will go away with airing and air conditioning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:26 PM Flag
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Between your commute and the hours of big law, your life is going to be awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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Is there a secret thread somewhere about op's commute? Or is the assumption that everyone works in NYC, so she must be commuting? I'm fairly sure that some people live outside the NYC area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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