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[ - ] I posted earlier, and have realized what's really eating at me. Is my DH irresponsible? -- DH has been out of work over a year. We have 2 DC, I am a WOHM but he is the bread winner. He recently started doing consulting work, and is very close to landing a good job -- he even has to turn down another offer because the pay is less than the consulting. A college friend invited 8 friends to his condo at a ski resort. He has a plane ticket using miles. He wants to go for 4 nights, 4 days and feels it's ok. I think he's irresponsible given that he went over a year without working and doesn't have a full time job yet. And we've been paying bills out of the IRA. Is he irresponsible? Should I let him go? He says it's a "once in forever" kind of trip. I think that he's going to spend money we don't have (ie. Feom the IRA) on dinners and lift tickets. What would you do and say? Earlier post is here but less relevant now: http://www.urbanbaby.com/topics/55392548 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:35 AM Flag
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FWIW, I think this is OK for him to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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OP: Even though he's digging into savings? Can you let me know why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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It sounds like you have been okay with this for a year. What changed? Also, although you claim he has not worked in a year, he is consulting and apparently doing well. Why would you "punish" him for finally getting back on his feet again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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OR: Because: it really is a once in a lifetime thing, his lodging and transportation are already paid for, consulting is highly variable depending on your mood and energy level and having a great week long vacation might help him earn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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OR: I saw he's only being working for a week. Wait a sec. Did he even make enough that week to cover his costs? I'm getting cold feet about this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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He's flying using miles and staying in a friend's condo. What is the issue? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:39 AM Flag
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OP: I think he'll spend at least $1,000 on lift tickets, fancy dinners, gift for the host, etc. and we're "middle class" New Yorkers, not "rich" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:49 AM Flag
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Can't he use his consulting money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:41 AM Flag
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OP: yes, but he won't get paid for the 2 days he's gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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You work and he's consulting. Why are you dipping into the IRA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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We'll probably stop dipping in soon. This was his first week of consulting. And I don't make much. I barely cover the taxes and monthly fees on the condo. The consulting is not big money, but similar to what he made in his last job. But he's not paid for days he doesn't work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:47 AM Flag
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Wait!! He's only been working for a week and now wants to take a ski week? NO! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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How can you not have made adjustments if this has been going on for a year?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:55 AM Flag
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I think you're angry at him about the long period (nearly a year?!) between his being out of work and his starting the consulting. At least, I would be angry. And I do have a pattern where, once things seem like they SHOULD be getting better, at least directionally, I get even more angry that we're not out of the woods yet. Esp if DH thinks we ARE out of the woods. Does that make sense? Unfortunately I'm no expert on dealing with anger but some posters on here are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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She said he's only been working for 1 week! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:51 AM Flag
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He has been working and everyone desires fun every now and then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:48 AM Flag
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Men who are not filling their biological designed role as breadwinner are not allowed to have fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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I hope this is snark. Marriage is about supporting each other in ups and downs. And sometimes its about biting your tongue when your spouse does things that you find questionable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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OP: is that sarcastic? Or do you mean it? Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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OP: but he has only been working a week. The people he's working for have no problem with him missing days because they're expecting him to be less than full time because he presumably has other clients, so "missing work" isn't an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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So he can take some time off without it affecting work. Great. Let him go have fun and he will come back with a renewed spirit. Or you can be bitter wife and say no and see where that gets you in your marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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DH here. I can understand him wanting to do this and he has minimized the cash outlay but when you're out of work for a year, I think this is something you just have to pass on. All unnecessary costs need to be avoided. It sounds like it's too late to reverse this and in your previous post you were more concerned about him being away two weekends in a row than about money so you've lost your chance to raise this issue in my mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Please tell me there is something new under the sun for snoring!!! I'm ready to throw DH out a window. He already has a CPAP - nothing helps - not the strips or the sprays. HELP. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:35 AM Flag
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ear plugs (for you) and weight loss (for him) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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Adderall Rx fixed DH's apnea. sad but true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:47 AM Flag
[ - ] What will $5million get you in the West Village? Not much? I need 3 bedrooms but want move in ready, no more renos!! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:33 AM Flag
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Why limited to the west village? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:34 AM Flag
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I like the river view but I am not limited to the W.Village strictly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:36 AM Flag
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isn't it totally over-rated? we live in Manhattan, but don't find that area appealing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:42 AM Flag
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Are you op of the $5mm in the most popular again trying to troll? Stop already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:51 AM Flag
[ - ] REDS, MAP or All Souls? Need to choose and we honestly love all three. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:29 AM Flag
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All Souls in a second. MAP is good too but director uncertainty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:42 AM Flag
[ - ] Any suggestions on a casual place for lunch near the transit museum in Brooklyn? 2 adults and 6 and 4 year old. Thank you! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:26 AM Flag
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Uh, shake shack duh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:32 AM Flag
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Np. My exact thought also [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Is it normal to find a few strands of hair in the shower drain? I shower twice a day and this seems like it's a regular occurrence. Is it hair loss? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:23 AM Flag
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Is it a change from normal? I always have clumps of hair in drain after shower. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:29 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:32 AM Flag
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It's normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:47 AM Flag
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Did you just give birth? Hair loss is normal after childbirth. If not, see a dr. It might be radium poisoning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:48 AM Flag
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I lose strands and strands from just brushing my hair and this has been happening all my life. A few strands doesn't sound like a lot at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
[ - ] I am at dinner at someones home and the hosts arw periodically speaking to each otHer at the table in their native language (Which I obviously do not understand). This is the height of rudeness, right? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:19 AM Flag
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I think typing on a message board while at a dinner party is the height of rudeness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:20 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:20 AM Flag
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I went to the bathroom…I feel like leaving the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:26 AM Flag
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So rude. These people aren't your friends? I would excuse myself and leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:30 AM Flag
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Which language? Curious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:30 AM Flag
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Start speaking to your DH in pig latin. "Ass-pay the eas-pay. [wink]" Two can play at that game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:40 AM Flag
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Haha. My brother and I used to speak in pig Latin to each other when we were teenagers. Then our mother figured it out, so we spoke "pig Spanish" to each other. Our father spoke Spanish but couldn't crack the code and our mother didn't speak Spanish, so we were safe. Whew! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:45 AM Flag
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Incredibly rude. I have in laws who do this and it pisses me off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I know this is silly but DB just flipped herself to tummy. I shouldn't flip her back right? 6 months. In sleep sack. Never done this before at bedtime. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:13 AM Flag
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Jesus Christ. Do you realize that all babies born before 1992 were put to sleep on their tummies, starting at birth? No wonder there are so many flat headed low tone babies these days. People are afraid to let them spend any time at all on their tummies. Crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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She's on her tummy a lot and no flat head issues here but thanks for your response despite how obnoxious it was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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OR is a troll. I would flip back because there's no downside to doing so. Sleeping on their stomach is probably fine, but why not just remove all doubt and put db back on their back? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:43 AM Flag
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Sure there's a downside - the DB wakes up and is up for the next 3 hours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:48 AM Flag
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You're an asshole. New parents need affirmation and a guiding hand because they haven't done this before. Why are you here if you can't offer something instructive to say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:37 AM Flag
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I thought once they could flip over, tummy sleeping is fine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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Yes I think that's the case [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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This. But I think it's a perfectly reasonable question [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:46 AM Flag
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I would. Back to sleep until 12 mo. But cousin list a baby to SIDS, so I'm sensitive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:24 AM Flag
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After 6 months? That's beyond heartbreaking...and also my biggest fear :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:38 AM Flag
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My doctor said to leave them if they flip on their own. I still turned my DB over before I went to bed. It probably wasn't necessary, but I was nervous. Can DB flip back the over way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:31 AM Flag
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She has before but only once or twice so I would say not really [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Sounds crazy, but would you be willing to wear a bikini and "oil wrestle" your DH's brother's wife while the two men watched? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:12 AM Flag
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Fuck. No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:13 AM Flag
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Hee Hee Hee NO! Would you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:14 AM Flag
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Possibly. I wouldn't automatically discard the notion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:15 AM Flag
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Kentucky in da house! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:16 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:17 AM Flag
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Lol this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:19 AM Flag
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Paging Jerry Springer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:18 AM Flag
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Um. no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:20 AM Flag
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Why on earth would you do this??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:26 AM Flag
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Hilarious! Nice try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Do cake pops taste good? What bakery can I order them? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:10 AM Flag
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Like cupcakes depends on the baker. I like the ones at Starbucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Favorite/most popular gift bag items for a 4 year old boy... no party theme yet, I don't want to give candy and junk. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:00 AM Flag
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Wikisticks are good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:00 AM Flag
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spalding ball [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:02 AM Flag
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bubbles. sidewalk chalk [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:04 AM Flag
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LOL, I was just thinking if you disliked a set of parents, give that kid colored bubbles. They're the world's worst toy from a parent perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:07 AM Flag
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Totally disagree. No harm in bubbles and my dcs love them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:14 AM Flag
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Bubbles are a totally different animal than colored bubbles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:15 AM Flag
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DS once received a wiffle ball and bat and has used it nonstop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:06 AM Flag
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Mini lego sets, or those Playmobile bags where you have to make the guy inside and don't know which one you get. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:12 AM Flag
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Glo stick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:15 AM Flag
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A book [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:21 AM Flag
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Travel games [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:25 AM Flag
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Disney Cars coloring pad with a Cars cake pop wrapped in cellophane or a cars shaped balloon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:25 AM Flag
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Slinky, deck of cards, checkers, dominoes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:30 AM Flag
[ - ] Wow Mira Sorvino really was smart. I found this when I was googling something else 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:59 AM Flag
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What I'm amazed at is that the award amounts back in 1984 were the same amounts awarded in 2014! $2000 went much, much further in 1984. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:05 AM Flag
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just like science funding in USA. it'd be awesome to not adjust it for inflation military spending. each time USA goes into a "let's destroy another country" mode, we paid for it long-term. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Someone told me it's going to be "very hard for me" at 92Y because I work. Is this true? If so, disgusting. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:58 AM Flag
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I really think they would only care to the degree that SAHM's would be more likely to volunteer at the school. I don't think they look down upon working women per se. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:05 AM Flag
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I just find it so strange. My mom stayed at home when I grew up but most of the moms I knew (and almost all of her friends) worked and it was NEVER a point of contrition. I work 3 days a week and still have plenty of time to volunteer and be there for my kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:07 AM Flag
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Define hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:12 AM Flag
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They would not like me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:21 AM Flag
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IS this true? Working Mom here with a WL at 92Y. Should I even try? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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+ non jew [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:28 AM Flag
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Let's do it together :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:29 AM Flag
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Most moms SAHM but there are many WOHM who are involved in their dc school life. A lady I work with brought (graduated last year) her dc to school twice a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:47 AM Flag
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Are you Jewish? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
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Your dc got in? What age? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Latisse; yay or nay? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:57 AM Flag
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It barely worked for me. I just have shitty eyelashes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:01 AM Flag
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Thinking of getting it for my eyebrows! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:10 AM Flag
[ - ] Best Easter toy for 6 mo. old boy? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:56 AM Flag
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stuffed peep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:03 AM Flag
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My first easter outfit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:15 AM Flag
[ - ] s/o Retin A: If I'm trying to buy it online through Canadian websites, what strength should I buy? .05? .25? .1? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:56 AM Flag
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It depends on your skin. For me, .05 does NOTHING. Total waste of money. .1% causes a tiny little bit of peeling. That's the strongest they make. I must have really tough skin. If you have delicate skin, you need to go for the weak stuff first until you know your skin can tolerate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:59 AM Flag
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thanks! I"m pretty sensitive so will start slowly :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 01:59 AM Flag
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The weakest would be .025%. I wouldn't spend my money on that. Buy the .05% to start. You can always buffer it with other moisturizers until you get used to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:03 AM Flag
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What is the website I want to order. How do you know it's legit? Link please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:21 AM Flag
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