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[ - ] jeans for thanksgiving at someone's house. too casual? what about tween dcs? let them wear jeans or insist on something nicer? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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Depends on who you are visiting? Casual family with DCs? Different than tradiitonal grandmother in her Park Avenue penthouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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depends on the whole outfit. if nice jeans with a nice top i think that's fine unless you know the hosts are formal people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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Yes, too casual. Khakis and buttondown at minimum imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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Ask the hostess. We are casual here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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We always do casual so ask if you are unsure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:58 PM Flag
[ - ] I find that among the 30 and 40 year old moms I know almost none of them actually enjoys being a mother. Almost without exception every one of them treats being a mother as something to be tolerated. All they do is complain about the kids, complain about the homework, complain when the kids ask for their attention, complain that they have to drive their kids to events and make them dinner and drop them off at school. And this is all totally normal - every conversation among mothers is "ugh, our weekend was nuts, we had soccer games and then I had to yell at my kid to finish his homework and then I had to go to the grocery store to buy things for lunch. It was awful." I can't remember the last time I heard a mother say "you know, we had a great time at the park" or "you know I just love to hang out with my kid at home." I get that the kids are annoying, but no one ever seems to enjoy being a parent. They just do what they have to to get the kids out of their hair. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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I have met a lot of people who genuinely never considered the possibility of not having children. It just didn't occur to them that they don't have to. We have DH's DCs half the time, and I am definitely glad I did not have any of my own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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This. I wish I had stopped at just being an aunt. It was much nicer when I could just send them home. Love DDs, but if I could go back and do it over, I don't think I would still choose children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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I'll be the exception that proves your rule. I'm a SAH homeschooling mom to two under 9. We live in a happy little bubble. I love being around my kids, couldn't be a SAHM if I didn't. Sometimes I grumble about needing to rush around to get them places and get things done, but 99% of the time I talk about how happy and grateful I am to have this time with them. If I was on facebook or instagram, I'd be one of those #blessed smug people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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I don't have a similar experience among my friends. Same age group. Sure we joke about it when our kids are annoying, but no one complains incessantly like that. And everyone also points out when kids are being adorable and fun. Maybe you're just hanging with the wrong crowd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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Maybe, I don't know. It's a rich suburban crowd and I think people would get pissed at you if you said you enjoyed your time with the kids, since we're all supposed to say how much we hate all child related things all the time to make each other feel better or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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i get that people have busy lives, but i know every single one of my friends love their children and would do anything for them, and generally love being home with them. i think it's partly filling air time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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There is a book ...All Joy and no Fun or something like that. I do enjoy my kids most of the time but I am not juggling work and parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] I'll preface this with saying I know is nuts. My Russian jewish 72 year old mother has major issues (personality disorder, emotionally volatile, major dependency on sleep meds akin to drug addiction, suicide attempts, plus the usual guilt). My adult daughter had to have her tonsils out. We ultimately chose to tell my mother that the surgery was postponed because we knew she would insist on coming for the recovery and it would be a sh** show if she was here. Now my daughter has recovered and her tonsils are out. How to proceed from here? Tell my mother the truth? Tell her the surgery was canceled altogether? My only worry is she might ask my daughter to open her mouth and show her the tonsils (which are no longer there!) Laugh all you want but give me advice first! ;) 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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I meant, *I know this is nuts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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I think the problem here is your phrase, "adult daughter." Which means you don't need to be the one to handle this, she does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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OP- Adult tonsil removal requires 24/7 nursing for the first week (read any blog- and yes, it was rather time consuming). I flew out to care for her. Her grandmother was insisting on flying out too, so we lied. At this point we are deciding what to tell my mother. I don't see any problem with figuring this out together. We are a family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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I would not mention it and if she does just say itheu were taken out. Done [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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OP - She keeps asking "So when is the surgery when is the surgery? I am going to get on the first plane out there." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Don't say anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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how is she going to know whether the tonsils came out or not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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OP- Only if she looks in her mouth! They are gone. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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How did she find out about it in the first place? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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OP- Daughter discussed it with her. Did not anticipate that 72 year old grandmother would insist on flying out and staying in her apartment to care for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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OMG! So sorry for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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1. Next time keep your mouth shot. 2. Don't mention it unless she brings it up and if she does say it was simple outpatient procedure so you forgot to let her know 3. I think children learn to expect to treat their parents the same way as the parents treated grandparent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:52 PM Flag
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OP- I don't disagree. In this case the grandparent is particularly volatile. Suppose only time will tell with that one. And next time will certainly keep mouth shut. Unfortunately she knows it's a procedure which requires intensive post-care, as she has scoured the internet and regularly asks for the new surgery date. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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hahaha. grandma, we forgot to tell you! whoops! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:57 PM Flag
[ - ] How much would you expect utilities to be on 2200 SF house in Westchester? Any idea? TIA 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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New or old house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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I have an 1800sf older Tudor home in Westchester. $400-600/mo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Is that electric plus oil and gas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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^^^meant oil or gas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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the taxes in westchester are just INSANE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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Right, but free schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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And no NYC income tax either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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CT is much cheaper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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Yes, but much longer commute (unless you go with Greenwich, which is expensive, sends 1/3 of kids to private AND is under investigation for segregation violations). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:58 PM Flag
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The taxes are public information, I am trying to get an idea of utilities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] 7 yo DD is shy and socially awkward. I want to help her without making her feel insecure...how much should I correct/comment on her behavior? For example: she'll run away from friends who are trying to play with her on the playground (for some perceived slight that her friends aren't aware of), or when a friend says hi, she'll sometimes look away and not respond. I've tried explaining that it's impolite to behave that way, but don't want to harp on it bc I don't want to make her feel bad. Fwiw, I was an awkward child and my parents were very harsh about it, so I'm trying not to go down that road. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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Do you practice greetings & intro conversations with her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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OP: yes, she is completely different @ home. She is nervous around her school friends and it makes her act strangely. I've tried to organize play dates with a lot of other kids, but she still hasn't really clicked to the point where she feels comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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My dd was not that strong socially -- it did help to get her into a group activity (we did Girl Scouts, but I think anything that is about spending time w/other kids with some adult supervision). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Point out when she is doing it right - so that she knows the difference. "I saw you listening to your friend for a long time, and I bet she appreciated it." This will go a long way for her to notice her behavior and its affect on others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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Social skills group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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Ask her questions that may guide her towards sharing her feelings with you, then you can talk to her about things she brings up. Be very gentle in explaining things to her, and help her come up with things to say so that she doesn't need to run away or avoid others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, I've tried to do this, but it gets frustrating. Her version of events is always different from what I see - like, she'll tell me that her friends understood why she was running away from them, when it's obvious to me that they didn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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Sign her up for a group activity. The poster above had a good idea with the girl scouts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] My nephew was admitted to a very prestigious college. He was handsome and athletic but more of the bookworm type. He had only been with 2 females when he left for college and one of which was his first girlfriend. He is an excellent young man. He wanted to join a frat so he could develop networks of people while in college. He was also hours from home and always a bit of a loner. He wanted to have the full college experience and "brotherhood" he believed would come with joining a frat. Part of his initiation was to bring an attractive freshman girl to their first party to hook up with. The brothers said they would make sure she was willing. He realized they had done made all the pledges do this and we're putting special marks on their date's drinking cups. My nephew assumed they were putting drugs in these girl's drinks and we're intending on taking advantage of them some way or another. He took his date back to the dorms and went to his dorm himself. When he proceeded to report this the next day he was put on some sort of probation for minor consumption through the school itself. The rest of the semester he was harassed by members of the frat. He also found out several of those girls ended up being sexual assaulted in one way or another. He was the only one out of 20 pledges to leave and report this. He ended up switching colleges. The whole college system from the students up are keeping this rape culture alive. I don't think colleges deserve the right any longer to handle anything of this nature. Police should be handling situations where the law has been broken. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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TLDR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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what's this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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too long, didn't read [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:54 PM Flag
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The amount of peer pressure is just insane. You just never know. Kids in college don't have the perspective of how damaging they can be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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That is a horrible story. Your nephew btw sounds like an amazing young man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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Agreed. That took balls to report it. And that's pretty sad, right? That it was brave to report rape, not just the right thing to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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absolutely horrible. reminds me of everything i know about dartmouth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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I don't believe this is true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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I do. My college bf dropped out of a fraternity because there were bizarre homoerotic hazing rituals, and he was harassed by those guys for leaving. They would yell "HOMO" at him. Isn't that rich. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:51 PM Flag
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I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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Agreed, OTOH my now husband, when he was 20 (we were acquaintances in college) passed out drunk with a girl in college, she later missed her period, told her friends who assumed that she must have been raped in her sleep, she went to the University who then called in my husband and began an investigation, he maintained that they never had sex; later it was determined that she had ovarian cysts and she admitted that she had not recalled having sex either ( but you know she was drunk too) . He went through about a month of being shunned as a rapist on campus. In today's environment, I doubt he would have been given the benefit of the doubt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] I spent a lot more than expected on fixings for Thanksgiving. Is it ok to ask guests to pitch in some cash? I am not well off and hadn't expected it all to cost so much 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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Unless that was agreed upon initially, I think it's in really bad taste to ask a guest on Thanksgiving to cough up some cash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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+1. Can you suck it up and skip some cabs and dinners out in the next month? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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I guess I could try to cut corners somewhere but it SUCKS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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Lesson learned for the next time. Accept it and focus on having a good time. See if others can bring wine or dessert. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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no no no, you will have to cut corners elsewhere. sell a few things on ebay or craigslist, and don't go out to eat again until 2015. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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Depends on who your guests are. If you're having very close friends and family over, it might be okay to ask someone like a sister or the friend you've known since age 12, if they're aware of your financial situation and sympathetic. It's pretty dicey though. You might just have to suck it up, unfortunately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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No. Sorry this happened to you, but no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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No. If you need to budget, then do it. It's not that hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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Ask ONE better off family member or close friend to help you pay for it. Say you hate to ask but need help. It is not ok to charge guests or even ask for general donations. People will give you the money cheerfully but they won't like it and your relationships will suffer. Don't do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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No. Is this real? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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Gross [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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No, but when you inevitably get the "what can I bring" you can say something like "you know, I really went nuts buying turkey, potatoes, etc. I am really all set and anything extra will go to waste since we already have so much. Then somebody might offer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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God no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Trying to figure out a vacation with 2 dcs (9 and 6) for the winter break. it was tough to get vacation time for both me and my husband, and now that we have it - all destinations are prohibitively expensive. anxcious and upset, not sure i'll find anything... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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Disney [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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DC is always fun and easy to get last minute hotels there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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we go to dc a lot for shorter vacations. were thinking something further away.. and warmer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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This! Smithsonian is free and children love the Air & Space and Natural History museums. Mount Vernon, Pres Washington's home, is open 365 days a year and has a lot of cool things to see, even in winter. Nearby Alexandria, VA, Baltimore, MD and Annapolis, MD have sights and restaurants too. For the beach, there might still be some relatively inexpensive packages available to Puerto Rico or the Bahamas, esp after New Years. You could do Autotrain to south FL but the weather might disappoint. It's 50/50. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:56 PM Flag
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Stay home? Depending on where you live, there is probably a lot to do, and you can avoid all of the time & hassle of traveling in the winter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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Are you within 6 hour driving distance of a ski resort? Go skiing. Kids that age love it even if they are beginners. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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How about renting via AirBNB someplace cozy and cold? And then ski or just rent movies and ice skate, etc.? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:47 PM Flag
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^^Try Upstate NY (Woodstock, New Paltz, Rhinebeck) or VT, or a cute town in MA. Or even a city, like Boston? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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arizona? grand canyon, sedona? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I slept with my soon-to-be-ex-husband (after we'd been separated for 6 months) and now I hate myself. He's a creep, but I was feeling Thanksgiving-induced sadness about the demise of our marriage and the fact that we'll have to share our son for the upcoming holidays, and I caved in to him. Ugh, I feel like a fool. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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Move on. I'm sure he has. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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Yes, I'm pretty certain he has been out and about. I don't know if I should get out and try some online dating, attempt to find a quick fling (which I think I'm too old for), or take more time to be alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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You're never too old for a quick fling [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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How does one go about finding a quick fling? I'm soooo out of the game... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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This is just so, so common. Please don't excoriate yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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"caved in to him" = wanted it but regret it. How was the sex, in any event? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:34 PM Flag
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This. You could always have said "no". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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I should have. Dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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At least you aren't crying "rape". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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It was good. We were always compatible in that regard at least. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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NP: Then take it at face value. A physical release. Don't make it more than it was. Don't guilt yourself into feeling bad. If you wish you hadn't, then next time, take a pass. And yes, maybe do a little online dating and see if you can pep yourself up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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Just look at it as getting a piece and laugh to yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Need to vent: just getting back into exercising, and doing C25K. I just ran 2 x 8 minutes, and was feeling great about it. My mother happened to call as I was walking back to the apartment and when I told her, she says "that's a great start, but shouldn't you be doing more? You have a ways to go." I know I shouldn't let it bother me but WTH? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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i would have told my mom to stfu and just try to be supportive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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OP: I told her "okay then, see you Thursday. Save some salad for me!" then went upstairs and cried. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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are you overweight? Is your mom critical or anorexic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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OP: not overweight, not in great shape though the past couple of years (young DCs, work, DH traveling a lot, yada yada) - she is hyper critical. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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aww, sad that you cried. i would have said something like, "stop harassing me and go deal with your gray hair". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:41 PM Flag
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OP: I wish I could have come up with something rude that like. I'm fine, it was just like a little slap in the face for a second there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:50 PM Flag
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You're a grown up spending your afternoons running in circles instead of doing something productive, and now you're sulking because your mommy wasn't as supportive as you wanted her to be? All of us have shitty parents. That's no excuse for your lot in life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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OP: uhhh, I WFH and take a run during lunch. Super unproductive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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Then why are you on this site begging for people to tell you how wonderful you are? Your mother is critical of you. Just like everyone else's mother. Get over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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OP: oh fuck you. Just needed to vent it somewhere. I'm far from wonderful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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Wow, you're a piece of shit. Get over that if you can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:57 PM Flag
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Np. You're miserable. Good for you OP. Ignore both your mom and witchy OR. I'm sure she's fat, unfit and unproductive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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Two out of three. But I'm also not crying in the closet because my mommy shit on me. I stopped doing that when I was 16. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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OP: not crying in the closet. Anyway, I'd rather be on the oversensitive side than have whatever problem it is you have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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oy. stop being such a hardened bitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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You sound profoundly retarded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Thanksgiving hosts and guests weigh in. If you are the host, and you generally have guests take their shoes off at the door, do you still do this for Thanksgiving? Guests, how would you feel about padding around in stocking feet and nice clothes? To me, there's nothing sadder than seeing a woman in a nice dress and stocking feet sitting at the dining room table. FWIW, I make DH & kids take shoes off at the door, but never the same rule for guests. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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ew. we never make guests take off shoes even though we ourselves are barefoot in the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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My husband and I take off our shoes, but I never ask guests to do the same. I'm inviting them into my home and want them to be comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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We had a party Friday night, and we just rolled up or rugs. It would be crazy to ask 24 guest to take off their shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:25 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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We provide slippers for all guests including on Thanksgiving. People do not mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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they definitely think you are crazy even if they don't tell you so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, but I don't want to wear some old slippers that have been used by guest after guest. I pick my shoes out to look nice with my outfit, can you imagine wearing a nice dress and stockings and then clumping around in someone's old wool clogs? No thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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are you asian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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low class to ask guests to remove shoes. unless you are Asian and provide slippers. still low class (just very clearly not our kind). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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Walking the streets of NYC and then wearing shoes in the house is disgusting. If you aren't asking guests to remove shoes, roll up the rugs and shove them into a closet. I obviously don't mind padding around in stocking feet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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Roll up the rugs. You people are far to protective of your material possessions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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what makes you think i don't have carpets [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:49 PM Flag
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We are very casual and always take shoes off at home as does my entire extended family (cultural thing). I personally think it is disgusting to wear filthy street shoes into a home. That said, if I lived in a world where people "dressed" for thanksgiving I guess I would not expect guests to take off their shoes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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I make an exception for holidays, parties etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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we ask them to take the shoes off mostly in consideration of our downstairs neighbor. Besides our floors would be destroyed by stilettos [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:42 PM Flag
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usually people take their shoes off if it is a casual playdate, etc. if i am having a dinner party or hosting a holiday like thanksgiving i would never expect guests to take shoes off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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I always feel bad when I'm at someone's house and there's a poor woman taking off tight, slim, heeled boots in front of everyone :( If I'm going to a house and I know they have a no-shoes rule, I make sure to wear flats for easy, un-awkward removal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Want to plan a long weekend away with dh and dc's this winter. Want to drive and keep it within about 4 hours of NYC. I know that is tough in the winter - we are not into skiing. Want to go to a nice town or small city, find a few things going on and find a nice hotel. Just do not want it to be one of the big indoor water park or resort type places. Just want to have a few activities and a nice town/city. Anyone have ideas? I know this is tough in the winter but figured I would see if anyone had any good ideas. TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Stowe, VT? There's a big hotel there with a heated outdoor pool and the town is nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:23 PM Flag
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Equinox in Manchester, VT. So cozy, outlets nearby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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Was just looking at this place. Will look more closely! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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OR: yes, do! Lots of fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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Newport is fun. Quiet in winter but check out their site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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winterthur in delaware is nice or bucks county. colonial williamsburg? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
[ - ] I have 2 young dd. Please tell me the names of good colleges that DO NOT condone campus rape. Thank you 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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Yawn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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You should probably wait until they hit high school to worry about what college they choose and the campus culture. Even if you could find a campus where no one ever gets mugged/robbed/raped/murdered, the odds that it will still be Eden in fifteen years are pretty slim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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Smith [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:24 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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I was thinking about this also. I imagine there is less of this kind of culture at small but prestigious liberal arts schools (e.g. Williams, Amherst, etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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Amherst, Sarah Lawrence and Swarthmore are on the list of schools being investigated for their treatment of sexual assault under Title 9: http://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/us-department-education-releases-list-higher-education-institutions-open-title-i [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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OR: wow--that's unexpected. I guess it's a case-by-case thing. I just imagined that the frats played a big role in the culture, but then again Columbia is not a big frat school & is in the middle of this shitstorm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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but weirdly they are not on the title XIV list [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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^IX [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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Look for colleges & universities that still have sex-segregated (at least by floor) dorms and at least 2-3 people per room. Women who have a place to belong and at least the opportunity of making friend where they live have a stronger support system and more people to have their backs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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I went to san francisco state. there didn't seem to be frats or jocks or any entitled rich kids. just hard working kids from immigrant and blue collar backgrounds who lived at home and were usually holding down a couple of part time jobs. That may not sound good to people here, but you sure never heard about rape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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Wait til they're older? Chances are colleges across the country will take this more seriouslty moving forward. Also you can't control where they go to college...you can only educate them on how to keep themselves safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:43 PM Flag
[ - ] I am not eating anything today because I ate so much last night and am still full. Is this weird? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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I am always like this - if you're not hungry, don't eat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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It is weird if you literally don't eat all day to "make up" for eating too much last night. That reeks of disordered eating, if you have a rule of not allowing any food to pass your lips for an entire day after indulging. That said, if you don't eat breakfast after a big dinner the night before and when lunchtime rolls around, you go for a light salad, as you still have some sensation of satiety, that is different. But, as a matter of science, your stomach/body are not still "full" after more than 18 hours, at the most, no latter how much you ate in the previous meal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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but i would eat if i were hungry. i'm not doing it to punish myself. i literally am still so full [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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^ this is what i mean. why am i full for so long? either i really over ate or my stomach is fucked up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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That happens to me too, especially after I go to an Indian buffet. It's not so weird. Take it easy today. At least have some crackers or something in the evening. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:43 PM Flag
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Consult a gastroenterologist. Not normal. Could be something like gastroparesis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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Yes, I would think about getting this checked our, if it happens more than very occasionally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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Yeah, not 18 hours later. That's a red flag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Had an argument with MIL. She wants us to get tutoring for dc #2 for the G&T test. #1 got in but that was loooong time ago when there was less prepping and more spots in D3. I feel like I don't have bandwidth for this. I feel that in D3 the only G&T worth bothering is 166 and after siblings the chances are way too low. We are not made of money and I think our money would be better spent in renting in a good zone for 1 year in 1st vs G&T prep. Am I wrong? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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Maybe I am an idiot but if you have to be tutored to get into G&T won't the program likely be over your head? Why put dc's through this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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np: With the qualification that one point can make a material difference in where you go but not in how you do, I agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:31 PM Flag
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OP: I know #2 is no less bright than #1 and have no doubt he can do well. I just don't feel the effort is worth the long shot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:33 PM Flag
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Unfortunately it isn't the case. Often all tutoring does is get a score 2 points up from 97 to 99 for example. Since the old rules of spot guarantee with 90 or above are now gone most people tutor to try to get 99. G&T is not that intense. Any bright child can keep up IMO. At least I know my #2 is no less capable than #1 was but competition is just very different today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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I think you are wrong thinking 166 is the only program worth it. And 163 and 165 are filled with 99, 98 and 97 scoring DCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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I know but as someone who has BTDT, I doubt 165 G&T is better than a solid gen Ed and as you point out it is basically still very difficult to get a spot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:32 PM Flag
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Correct - even if you prep, 99 does not get you into 166. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:36 PM Flag
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Exactly. This year it may not even get you 165... doesn't seem worth the effort [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:35 PM Flag
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That's a bit extreme. Plus there is the commute factor. A lot of people living in the 70s or 80s won't go there (it is unfortunate they still list the program though). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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We are zoned for 165 and would consider it but frankly with how broken the DOE is I bet they will not fully fill while not offer the spots to many families willing to take it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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That's definitely true. There were spots left both a 163 and 165 in October which is unbelievable considering how many people wanted those and were eligible. What's your alternative then? GenEd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:53 PM Flag
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Yes and then rent for 1 year in a better zone for 1st grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:55 PM Flag
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You need to prep. I agree with MIL. I prepped the hell out of my kid and now he is at citywide. Dont take education lightly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:38 PM Flag
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How did you prep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:37 PM Flag
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With all due respect, your DC is at a Citywide due to luck more than prepping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:40 PM Flag
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OP: I don't take it lightly at all. I am simply weighing the odds of getting a spot. Even with a 99 the odds are very low. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:44 PM Flag
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I can't imagine my MIL or mother even knowing what G&T test was. Can MIL tutor kid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:45 PM Flag
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No, but she can "tutor" me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
[ - ] SIL and I have always been pretty close. This summer we had a disagreement and she said some horrible things about what she wished for my dcs. Granted she was drinking (as was I) but I cannot shake the things that she said. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:12 PM Flag
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why would she wish horrible things for her nieces and nephews? she sounds crazy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:13 PM Flag
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op - she was emotional and kept accusing me of believing something I do not. Anyway - the warm fuzzy feelings for her are gone. DH thinks I am overreacting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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well, it depends what she said. maybe you are overreacting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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op - I am not sure if she reads this site, if she does I think I will out myself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:19 PM Flag
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^^but basically it had to do with what she thought my beliefs were about abortion and said that she hoped my dd would one day need one and not be able to get one. The implication being if she was raped etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:20 PM Flag
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so you're anti- choice? eek [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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Pro-life is the correct term [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:21 PM Flag
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np: why eek? are people not entitled to their own beliefs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:26 PM Flag
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op - no I am not, I was brought up catholic so sil was saying that I was therefore pro life. I tried hard to explain that you can disagree with that and that I am not a church going every weekend kind of person but I do believe in a God. NO dice would not hear it wished awful stuff on my dcs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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I wouldn't take this as harshly as you are taking it. Let it go. And I'm a grude holder :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:48 PM Flag
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that's more of a political argument. she sounds like she was being dramatic. i'd move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:22 PM Flag
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OMG, she suggested your snowflake might one day be pregnant out of wedlock and not want to get married and be a mommy? The nerve! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:27 PM Flag
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np: stop being so snarky [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:28 PM Flag
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I'll stop being snarky after the OP stops being a ridiculous drama queen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:30 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:29 PM Flag
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That's low-class of her to personalize the argument like that, and to make it about your DCs. Can you guys talk about it? Is she sorry? If you were always close, hopefully you can patch things up. You were drinking, after all. People say and do all sorts of rotten stuff under the influence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:46 PM Flag
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what did she say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:14 PM Flag
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Are you a Scorpio that cant let bygones be bygones? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:39 PM Flag
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wait, np. i'm not OP but i'm a scorpio and can't forgive. is this a thing? enlighten me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Sorry if people posted about this before -- why is it not possible to search old posts anymore? What is the reasoning behind that? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:11 PM Flag
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There's no reasoning, they just can't be bothered to fix it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 11.24.14, 07:16 PM Flag
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