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[ - ] I was offered a job in Boston and the salary is 92k. Is that enough to live in Massachusetts? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:40 PM Flag
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That's enough to live anywhere in the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Genuine question: how to top NYC publics truly compare to top NYC privates? Like say PS6 compared to Dalton (for example sake) at the elementary level and at the HS level? We're navigating this process now and have both options, but feel like we're comparing apples to oranges. What are the pros and cons? Please no haters who can't afford private etc. I'm looking for substantial arguments. TIA. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:25 PM Flag
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You can't have this conversation. You can compare two or three specific schools - but your question is impossible. Tour, make a list of what is important to you and best for your child. Find the school that lines up. Choice is great - but requires you to do a great deal of work. Good luck in the process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:29 PM Flag
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And remember - its just school. Don't make it something it isn't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:29 PM Flag
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Public schools usually have less funding for extracurriculars and larger class sizes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:34 PM Flag
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DD attended (part of) private elementary and public MS and HS, and, IMO, the two systems are quite different, for both empirical and emotional reasons. Try to get all of the facts about the schools your're looking at and pick where DC would be happiest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:36 PM Flag
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Genuine answer: there isn't THAT much difference at the elementary level. In private, the class size will of course be smaller, and there will be more/better extra-curriculars. The academics will seem slower in K and 1st (private schools generally don't push reading and assume kids will learn when they are ready, though they are also prepared to support children who are reading well in K), but accelerate sharply and overtake public in later elementary, when publics spend months and months focusing on prepping for the poorly-written state tests. A top private elementary will well-prepare your child for success at a top private middle and high school - and, most importantly, secure your child a spot in said school. Ergo, if you can easily afford to start private in K, it's well worth it. If you can't, you will likely feel frustrated that the education isn't all that different from what your DC's peers area learning in public. Like it or not, it does come down to $$. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:41 PM Flag
[ - ] What are your thoughts on giving out cash to homeless? I used to be against it,thinking that they were just going to use the money to abuse drugs and that they money would be better spent giving to social services agencies. However, I know that many need to self medicate and who am I to judge. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:59 AM Flag
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I do not give cash. I stopped giving food (they threw it at me or away in front of me). Donate to charity. They are typically mentally ill and need more help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:03 PM Flag
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When I was a child, a homeless man asked my grandmother for money -- "Look, I'll be honest. I just need something like pot or a drink to take the edge off." My prim little grandmother gave him a crisp bill from her purse and a wink. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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I'm more inclined to give to organizations that help homeless but don't want my kids to think I'm ignoring homeless people so we give change and granola bars. It's not helping. When theyre older I'll explain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:15 PM Flag
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We've explained to our kids that half of our income goes to social services and that no homeless person in NYC is starving, there is plenty of food available. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:36 PM Flag
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How does half your income go to social services? Please explain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:42 PM Flag
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Never give anything. It just encourages the behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:23 PM Flag
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I feel the same way and I do, particularly to women. Any of us could find our selves in a desperate place at some point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:31 PM Flag
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A social worker friend said that there are plenty of organizations providing food to the homeless so they shouldn't be asking for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:35 PM Flag
[ - ] I am the mom who posted a few weeks ago about another kid being cruel to my kid repeatedly. Some advice on here was to try to distance ourselves from that friend. The mom reached out and I tried to explain (without too much emotion) that we needed a break but that I would love to continue to socialize without our kids while this all blows over. The mom pretty much won't talk to me now. I just explained that the girls needed some time apart because they haven't been playing nicely with each other and I don't want it to Get worse. Should I just chalk it Up to a lost friendship now? She was a very good Friend of Mine. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:32 AM Flag
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Yes, lost friendship. It's hard to separate your friendship from your kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:39 AM Flag
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^^although I know people who have been successful with this with very close friends. But it's definitely hard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:40 AM Flag
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Yes. And remember the lesson. Seperate your social life from your children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:40 AM Flag
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Thanks, I'm hoping we can get past this because I would like the kids to Be friends again too but I need her to at least acknowledge the issues that the girls have had. I have spoken to my own dd about it ad nauseum but she doesn't see her dd as part of the problem so I don't know how that will ever change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:43 AM Flag
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Oh stop honey. You want to blame the other child and have the mom do the same and apologize to you. This isn't happening. Just move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:48 AM Flag
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Well really it's her daughter being unnecessarily cruel to my kid but My kid has some social anxiety so I am trying to put responsibility on both of us even though my kid hasn't hurt her kid at all. I am trying to salvage the relationship and will insist going forward that some behaviors be addressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:51 AM Flag
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You are not listening. It's not going to work. It doesn't matter what the facts are, it isn't going to work. Just move on wiser [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:55 AM Flag
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This this this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:16 PM Flag
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True. My kid has been on both sides. She is in high school now. Girls get into all kinds of weird patterns, where they do "mean things" often out of frustration. My dd has been frustrated and she has had other girls get frustrated at her. Move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:34 PM Flag
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Look, I'm being harsh here. Your kid has "social anxiety". Fine, your kid is also blaming every problem on your friend's kid. Your friend's kid is most likely tired of being your kid's caretaker in social situations. Facts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:33 PM Flag
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Yes, and she won't accept anything that her child may have done, because her kid is the victim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:32 PM Flag
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How old are these children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:50 AM Flag
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4 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:53 AM Flag
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LOL, really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:56 AM Flag
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OMG [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:56 AM Flag
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Jesus, please be fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:34 PM Flag
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You need her to say her kid is bad. You only hear your kid's side of the story. See things in your way. Your kid is victim kid. Your friend's kid is perpetrator. All kids are capable of both behaviors. Move on, friendship over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:32 PM Flag
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If she was a very good friend, she might just need some time to get over her hurt feelings. Good friendships have their ups and downs. Honesty is not always the best policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:56 AM Flag
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this - i just replied below before seeing your post - op seems to have some anxiety as well as her dd, they just need to chill a little and not take everything so personally [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:38 PM Flag
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How long have you been friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:58 AM Flag
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5 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:06 PM Flag
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If this mom doesn't want to be friends without kids then let this go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:01 PM Flag
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Yes. Lost friendship. Keep in mind that in these kinds of relationships one kid is the "victim" and one kid is the "bad" one. Not saying your dd's friend is bad, but that's how you see her now and it won't ever change. So regardless of what may or may not be happening your friend thinks you hate her kid, which you probably do. So it's over. BTDT, and on BOTH sides. Don't think your kid won't do things you disapprove of. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:30 PM Flag
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Sounds like she cut you off, but be flexible if she reaches out in the future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:33 PM Flag
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maybe she has other things going on in her life right now and just doesn't feel like dealing, don't write her off completely if you liked her - just give them some space [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:36 PM Flag
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Did you try to work out it with her first, perhaps telling her your daughter seemed to be getting hurt feelings but you know her daughter is a lovely girl so you wanted to help them work it out? Just jumping to cut her off may have confused her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I am about to give our nanny her 3rd week of paid vacation this summer (not to mention 2 weeks she took off earlier in the year, and she will also have at least 2 more off due to planned vacations the rest of the year). Is it unreasonable to ask her to come in and do some work around our apartment? I was thinking of asking her to go through kids clothes and sort all things that are too small, also sort out all toys they are too old for. Is there anything else I could ask her to do? I want to keep it kid-related so it pertains to her job. Thoughts? 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:05 AM Flag
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^^to clarify, she has not requested the time off, it's becaue we are away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:07 AM Flag
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I think it would be fine except it is last minute and if she knew she was going to have time off, she may have made plans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:11 AM Flag
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She always knew she would have monday and Friday off, but I am going to tell her today that she will have the whole week off because we just decided [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:13 AM Flag
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Wash all their sheets and towels, deep clean their room/ closets? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:14 AM Flag
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^ also prep foods for lunches (shop if necessary), clean lunch boxes and backpacks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:24 AM Flag
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She is a nanny, not a housekeeping service. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:41 AM Flag
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Huh? My nanny and all others I know are in charge of kids laundry and keeping their rooms neat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:57 AM Flag
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Do you always write "huh?" when you start a post, or do multiple people do it? Just wondering. Also wondering what the point is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:33 PM Flag
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Huh does sound super dumb or like a snotty preteen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:38 PM Flag
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Not deep cleaning! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:36 PM Flag
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By deep cleaning I mean wipe off shelves in closet and window sills etc. since clothes will be out of closets anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:39 PM Flag
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Even aupairs are expected to be in charge of kids' laundry, toys and stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:06 PM Flag
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And again - not deep cleaning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:36 PM Flag
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It's not worth it. Besides, when I try to figure out what is too small - I need my children to try on some things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:32 AM Flag
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Comes across as petty, especially when you tell her last minute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:41 AM Flag
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This, op are you bothered she gets as much vacation as you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 11:42 AM Flag
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+1. It sounds like complete make-work. What you need to do is require they her vacations overlap with yours, especially if you always take off during Christmas-Nee Years. That would be the only time I would give vacation that didn't overlap with ours. Explain now that it will be the policy going forward and you will give her as much notice as possible of planned vacations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:03 PM Flag
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Doesn't sound like make work to me, and my guess is most nannies prefer to choose their own vacation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:05 PM Flag
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OP is trying to come up with something for her to do = make work. Sure, I would rather choose my own vacation if I also go to go on vacation every time my boss did and would coincidentally never choose to vacation at s time I was already getting off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:07 PM Flag
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Sounds to me like OP is trying to figure out what can nanny do to make OP's life easier, and many people do not get as much vacation time as their bosses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:21 PM Flag
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Oh I see - we are viewing the nanny position thru the eyes of most jobs. Ok, does she have 401 K? Is she paid on the books? Health insurance? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:38 PM Flag
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Lets run with this... What if your husband could not take off the exact same week your boss did? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:37 PM Flag
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If I was already getting 5 weeks off plus the Christmas-New Years week, we would live with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:41 PM Flag
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No.... You need to let her choose at least one week. Nannies have lives and families too - they need to choose their own vacation like the rest of us. Balance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:08 PM Flag
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Depends on the kids, I think. We have 2 in school FT and effectively pay for her availability. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:11 PM Flag
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Sound to me like nanny gets a lot of vacation. We don't know if the two earlier were at nanny's choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:26 PM Flag
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HI nanny! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:05 PM Flag
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Nope. It's silly you can't imagine someone who employs a nanny would respo d this way. Small world you live in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:40 PM Flag
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Many people do not get as much vacation time as their bosses. Suck it up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:20 PM Flag
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uh, until today, nanny thought she was working Tuesday through Thursday. Just watching kids as opposed to doing laundry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:22 PM Flag
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Ok, that's her job. She's fine with it. Now you have decided she doesn't need to watch the children and you are trying to think of something to keep her busy. My question to you is why? It's an honest question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:41 PM Flag
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Fine as long as you didn't tell her earlier she could have those days off. It is probably a lot easier than with kids there to get this stuff done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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It's fine in theory but 2 things: you seem pissed that she gets all this time off but it's all been for your vacations, which is bizarre. Second, if you do this you will be back here complaining that she screwed up and threw out the wrong things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:24 PM Flag
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The throwing out wrong things can be avoided by telling nanny to put them in a bag, so OP can sort through them. I think OP is just saying nanny gets plenty of vacation, and can help out a little more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:28 PM Flag
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It's just not worth it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:42 PM Flag
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of course it is, this is the perfect time for these things to be done [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.28.15, 12:40 PM Flag
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