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[ - ] I loved that clip of Donald trump getting pissed at being called out on his stupidity. "I'll know more about it than you ever will” lmao. His supporters must be genuine nitwits....it's a great time to be a democrat!! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:03 PM Flag
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I think any of his supporters are just fed up with the political establishment and will vote in protest as a result. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:08 PM Flag
[ - ] DC is starting kindergarten and won't be 5 until early December. Tell me it will be ok for him to have children so much older than him in class. I'm starting to worry that he's so young. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:01 PM Flag
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Why not start next year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:08 PM Flag
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It will be fine, I have 2 dc that are nov babies, one is at Laguardia hs and the other is at McGill university and have done just fine, there is a new study says being one of the youngest is better for learning, growing and maturity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:10 PM Flag
[ - ] I was a single mom of two boys pretty early on,and I have to say I preferred that to having to constantly consult and negotiate on child rearing. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:42 AM Flag
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perhaps, but what about the extra set of hands? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:45 AM Flag
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He wasn't one. I find many men aren't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:54 AM Flag
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That is definitely the upside of single parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:56 AM Flag
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I hear you, but dcs have benefitted from having dh around. It's tough sometimes to negotiate and compromise, but worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:56 AM Flag
[ - ] On my Cape May bus. To those of you who told me to call and ask for info LOL. People board the bus. A NJT worker boards and makes an incomprehensible announcement. 1/4 of the people get off, only to get back on. These people are not that helpful. I'm on my way though. And you get me for next five hours unless I pass out. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:15 AM Flag
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Advise passing out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:41 AM Flag
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How long is the ride from NYC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:58 AM Flag
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5 hrs and 15 min including one transfer. $80 freaking dollars. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:06 PM Flag
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So, did you need the ticket in advance or not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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I did not. And they don't sell them On their app which is annoying. I'm reading dead wake as recommended by an UBer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:06 PM Flag
[ - ] How do I tell dh in a non mean and non confrontation way that if he wants certain way of life/doing things his way then he needs to do all of it. I am not on board and my life is easier when he isn't around 51 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 10:12 AM Flag
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Examples? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 10:45 AM Flag
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No cartoons on Saturday morning (dcs got up at 5 and dh is still sleeping but will be furious if I put cartoons on) Particular food options yet he doesn't cook beyond oatmeal, he would be upset if dcs didn't go to bed on time but he isn't home for bedtime. I work ft and earn 55% of HHI so cooking, cleaning and childcare aren't my job and I resent him for having strong opinions yet not doing the work. I tend to be mean and confrontational which makes him even worse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 10:52 AM Flag
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Therapy? He's a tool. Hire a babysitter for weekends? Someone overnight Friday so you can have a date and then she's up at 5 with the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 10:53 AM Flag
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He feels even more strongly about not having nannies on weekends and never wants to have date nights. Says he would rather be with kids then sleeps in till 10/11 on weekends so I am the one with kids for 5 hours before he is even up. He acts like those hours never happened because in his mind his day starts at 10. He was away for 2 full weeks and I went out with friends one night, had a nanny for 1/2 a day in the weekend and I felt like I was alive. I am now a slave :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 10:56 AM Flag
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Get nanny from 5am to 10am. Tell him that part of the day doesn't even count! Just be more assertive. Or kick him out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 10:58 AM Flag
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TY when I am assertive he digs his heels in more, acts like I am an unreasonable bitch, stops talking to me or just walks around grumpy ignoring all of us. I wish he got reassigned to work in another state so kids would not feel pain of divorce but I could just live a normal life with the kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:01 AM Flag
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Aww. My Dh works in London. It's heaven. I even raise our stepson and couldn't be happier. You have to do what works for you. Either he helps or you can hire a babysitter or turn on cartoons. Then family brunch and an outing at 10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:07 AM Flag
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How old are the kids? Let them jump on him in bed, go out for a walk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:00 AM Flag
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3 and 5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:02 AM Flag
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np--Don't reward your kids for getting up early by letting them watch TV. They will continue to wake up early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:58 AM Flag
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They don't ever watch it and still get up at 5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:11 PM Flag
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On Friday before you go to sleep say: tomorrow when the kids wake up, you can get up with them or, if I get up with them, I am going to permit them to watch PBS kids while I prepare breakfast. Once you are up, you can select their next activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:00 AM Flag
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Or just set an alarm for their wake up time and leave it by his ear, when he hits snooze, say fine, but if you don't get up, they are watching TV. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:01 AM Flag
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He will get up, act like a zombie and not take care of them and will be grumpy all weekend which is ultimately worse than being alone with the kids while he sleeps [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:03 AM Flag
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Then just let him sleep and put the friggin TV on. You've posted about this a gazillion times. He doesn't get to make the parenting decisions if he is not parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:10 AM Flag
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Maybe I should suggest rotation and every other weekend leave the house at 5 am and go for workout b-fast whatever... I don't really think it will be that enjoyable to be out at 5 am but I don't know what else to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:05 AM Flag
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A walk will do you good, and he may realize he is being an ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:06 AM Flag
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That's what I think. If he has to do this routine all by himself maybe it will sink in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:08 AM Flag
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Step One. Make copies of all financial documents, last two years tax returns, brokerage and bank statements. Check out computer when he is out of down. Step two, make one page summary of income, expenses, assets and liabilities. Step Three, meet with attorney. Do not kid yourself, this is not good for kids either, he is egomaniac. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:04 AM Flag
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Do you think divorce is unavoidable? I would never want to re-marry again so don't need to be "free" for that. I just want to have control over my own life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:12 AM Flag
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Do you WOHM? Does he think weekend time is his? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:05 AM Flag
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Yes I WOHM and earn 55% of HHI. He doesn't think weekend time is his. He just sleeps in late but I can't do what I want with kids. He is basically not thereto help with kids in weekdays although he takes one dc to school so that's his contribution [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:07 AM Flag
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Wake his ass up, when the kids get up tap him on the shoulder and say kids are up I'm going out for a run, head to a coffee shop with a book for an hour and then come back, the kids will have woken him up by then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:14 AM Flag
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She's does. She makes more than him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:08 AM Flag
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I don't understand people, don't you talk to your husbands? Sit down and talk to him, ask him what he wants wants and how he wants this to happen, for example: you have expressed that you don't want the children to watch Saturday morning TV how do you want that to happen? are you going to get up with them and set the standard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:11 AM Flag
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He clams down in these conversations but I do get mean and aggressive so it usually becomes a fight with no resolution in place then it all goes back to status quo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:15 AM Flag
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Then it is partly your fault? It shouldn't be a fight but a discussion and if he clams down say, since you don't want to talk about this now, please don't get angry when the children are watching tv. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:18 AM Flag
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That's the thing, he will get angry. These warning or discussions make 0 difference. I am partly to blame. I don't know how to deal with him, I get too angry and I don't know how to filter out his controlling behavior so it works and he uses it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:21 AM Flag
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Then when the children wake up, go out and let him deal with them. Come back in an hour or so. Have clothes set out for yourself the night before so you can slip it on and get out quickly. This way you will decompress and he will have to step up to the plate and walk the walk and talk the talk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:27 AM Flag
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YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME WHEN HE GETS ANGRY!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:34 AM Flag
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He's a manipulator. You shouldn't have to "know how to deal with him". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:05 PM Flag
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He sounds like my husband. I have come to realize that he is just manipulating me. He shuts down when I want to speak and the feigns ignorance when I get angry. Meanwhile he still gets his way. I am sick of it and would leave if it wasn't for the kids. - np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:27 AM Flag
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OP: I also realize its manipulation. There is no way to really agree as he will push my buttons to get me frustrated then tell me I am unreasonable and it never goes anywhere and he just ends up getting his way. I feel guilty for feign "unreasonable" so it totally works. I would 100% leave if not for the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:30 AM Flag
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You are not unreasonable. Leave the kids in your room, go for a walk, pick up groceries etc. See how quickly HE turns on cartoons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:34 AM Flag
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How old are your kids? How much longer do you have? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:33 AM Flag
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My son is two and my daughter is six. I have pretty much given up on being happy in this relationship. Luckily I have good friends and adore my kids. I just try to concentrate on them. This week is particularly tough because we're on vacation and I feel like I'm on edge most of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:36 AM Flag
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I am sorry! When do you see friends? I am never free to go out except work lunch with co-workers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:41 AM Flag
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My best friend has children around the same age as my kids so we do stuff together some weekends. Her husband works a lot so it is often just her and the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:04 PM Flag
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I'm confused. If he's not awake turn on the cartoons, or have the kids wake him up. Doesn't seem like you need to have an argument there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:35 AM Flag
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I have done this. He makes my life unpleasant for doing it. He will be mean, grumpy and ignore all of us for a week if I do that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:38 AM Flag
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^ it's not just the cartoons either. It's food, bed time, kids activities etc etc. I am like the nanny who gets told how to execute proper child rearing for the bosses kids. Does that make sense? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:39 AM Flag
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Then say, be my guest and you walk away. Don't get angry stay calm and let him do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:42 AM Flag
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He considers this me being angry, passive aggressive and unreasonable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:45 AM Flag
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He can consider what he wants, if he wants it a particular way he needs to either hire someone he can boss around or do it himself, say, I'm sorry show me what you mean, we learn by example. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:49 AM Flag
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It would be passive aggressive, but he's not leaving you much other choice. Tell him that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:00 PM Flag
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Don't get angry, just go out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:37 AM Flag
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There really is a double standard still in our culture. You are the living example of it. Although women are increasingly the primary $ contributors to family, men expect life to be like the 50's. It would be easier (but not right), in your case if he were just tiny bit accommodating. As someone said---he's an archaic minded egomaniac. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:51 AM Flag
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You say you've told him and he gets grumpy or clams up. You will have to put up with the grumpiness until things change, but you've got to make this stick. Talk to him NOT in the mornings or when he's giving you a hard time. Tell him you WILL be going out to to have this conversation, hire a sitter and have her show up at the door. He has to get that you mean business and will not put up with this any more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 11:59 AM Flag
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TV isn't a good solution. Kids will continue to wake up early to watch it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:02 PM Flag
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But a babysitter who makes the breakfast and gets them dressed and engages them is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:07 PM Flag
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I don't understand why when he does this you just don't walk out of the house and take a walk, you will get to decompress and he will have to deal, tell him to text you when he has it under control. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.05.15, 12:06 PM Flag
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