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[ - ] God you people (maybe it's just one) who says there has to be abuse - and not just any abuse but really "bad" abuse - for divorce to be better for a kid. You have no idea what some people are going through and how harmful it might be for kids despite not getting knocked around ("badly"). 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:20 AM Flag
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I hear you but my Ex wanted to "autonomy" and a more care free life- my DCs are devastated at his leaving. What is your view on that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:26 AM Flag
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Oops wanted more "autonomy" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:27 AM Flag
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My view is he's an asshole and should have sucked it up and stayed, and I feel horrible for you and your kids. How was he before he decided that he was the only person who mattered? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:32 AM Flag
[ - ] S/o: if you could go back in time up to 120 years ago and warn people about or change the course of ONE event, but only one, what would it be? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:09 AM Flag
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Jews to leave Europe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:11 AM Flag
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or get ready to fight back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:15 AM Flag
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Some people were telling jews to leave Europe. How would you make yourself heard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:21 AM Flag
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Stop WW2 and save many people (not only Jews) from perdition [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:18 AM Flag
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Iranian Revolution [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:48 AM Flag
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No flying on 911. Period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I have such stinky farts. i always have. anyone else? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:03 AM Flag
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eat meat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:04 AM Flag
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Only chicken and fish, occasionally [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Any good nyc real estate message boards or blogs besides streeteasy, Real Deal and Brick Underground? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Not a blog but I love Curbd (or is it Curbed) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] My DH has fallen asleep every night this week by 9pm. So freaking lonely! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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you got UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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OP: Honestly since moving from the City to the suburbs, UB's been a lifesaver [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:58 AM Flag
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why'd you move! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:58 AM Flag
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OP: We were over on Riverside Blvd and the building raised our rent an additional $2K. Between that and expecting our third child, we didn't to make the leap. Yes, it's nice to have more space, but so isolating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:02 AM Flag
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What county did you go to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:03 AM Flag
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OP: Essex. The commute is actually incredible, only 25 minutes to Penn station but now with three small children I think I've only gone into the City maybe twice since we've moved. Are you NYC based? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:05 AM Flag
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additional 2k? what a rip off. you could've still bought in the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:04 AM Flag
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OP: We tried and had plenty for the down payment but couldn't get a mortgage for a place in the City. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:07 AM Flag
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did you only look at UWS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Do NYC private schools (or any privates) give near full FA in kindergarten? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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Not impossible, but pretty close. Small number of FA spots overall. Of those, first they go to siblings of kiss already at the school. Then to kids of staff/faculty if school gives a preference to those families. Then of remaining FA dollars, they have to decide whether to give say 30% aid to three families or almost full aid to one family. It happens but apply broadly and make sure you have a back-up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Thank you for your kind and sensible response. Was half expecting to be flamed for being UB-poor and thinking of a private school education... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:07 AM Flag
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np. BTDT, and schools that have endowments large enough to give huge aid packages like this (and there are some) don't really do things this way. At less endowed schools, sure. Which is why I always tell anyone who mentions they need a lot of aid: your best bet is to focus on the wealthiest schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:23 AM Flag
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OR: there are few schools with endowments to give huge aid packages to more that 2-3 kids in a class, and particularly in K. They might give fa to more kids, but they are not giving out 90% aid to several kids per class. So how many K applicants total are getting huge aid packages at schools with large endowments? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:36 AM Flag
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If you look at a school like Brearley, for example, which has the largest endowment of any school in the city, you could expect to find 4 or even 5 kids in a class of 50 who get full or almost full aid packages in K. So no, it's not a lot of kids, but that's more than what you'd find at Friends, for instance. But you're right, there aren't a lot of schools with enough money to do this. I'm just saying, if OP knows she need this much aid and wants to apply for K, focus on the richest schools. Odds are bad everywhere, but slightly less miserable if the school has piles of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:02 AM Flag
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Agree - but best bet is to apply to as many as she reasonably can, while making sure the wealthiest / best endowed schools are on that list. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:09 AM Flag
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I am ub poor but real world umc and applied for sizable FA - I understand. To get close to full FA you need to be hhi < $80k I'd guess. We are in a good zone so I only applied to a couple of schools and they couldn't give the amount that we asked. If I were in a bad zone I would have applied to literally every school that was better than the zoned school. FA is difficult. Just try not to take it personally - there are a lot if competing pressures and most great kids have to be turned down. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Gl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:28 AM Flag
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It's kind and sensible, but I don't know if FA policy is the same at all schools. One variation that i hadn't considered until I met a bunch of these parents: giving partial fa to VERY academic families (ie academically privileged kids with parents who are professors) rather than to underprivileged kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Tarot mom are you here? or PM? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 AM Flag
[ - ] What boarding schools are good for a girls with adhd and mild sensory issues? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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define "mild sensory issues" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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Oh very mild, doesn't like how certain things feel like socks or certain material ( okay with certain brands). Likes to shake her head until dizzy. Nothing major. Mostly it is the adhd that is an issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:52 AM Flag
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is the adhd mild as well? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:36 AM Flag
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Yes. Affects her school work and socially though. Very sweet kids though. Started meds recently, already in a specialized school but only goes to 6th grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:43 AM Flag
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there's no need to use a boarding school. with adhd she has the chance to be really good at something she's into. she will need unscheduled time to figure that out sooner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:11 AM Flag
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Boarding school for this kid? Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:53 AM Flag
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Boarding school for this kid? Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Help me with finances: we just bought a 2nd home and it of course is an adjustment. We were so used to spending what we wanted before and now we have to stick to a stricter budget. So, I need tips on how I can spend less than $5K a month on "other expenses" this would not include rent at our apartment, childcare and the mortgage on the new house. Have at it…. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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Rent out the second house. No more Botox. Cook more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:21 AM Flag
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Kind of need to know what those expenses are (not what they are not). Cut newspaper and magazine subscriptions, cut out / reduce pedicures etc, public transit only, bring lunch, cheaper gym, etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:56 AM Flag
[ - ] If you heard your co-worker (who is still at the office working) got pneumonia, what's your first response? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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Why the fuck are they at work spreading germs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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What if the co-worker is actually at the resolving stage and is no longer contagious? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:31 AM Flag
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Sorry they have to work while they're sick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:43 AM Flag
[ - ] If poverty leads to violence, how do people explain ultra-orthodox Jewish sects in the US? Kiryas Joel has some of the poorest census tracts in the country, and yet violent crime is extremely low. Where is all the violence that "sociologists" claim must be happening? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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in the poor black neighborhoods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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There is violence in these communities as well as child abuse, sexual abuse, domestic abuse. It just never gets reported. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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this is the UB answer to everything. violence in non-black neighborhoods is not reported (just too bad no murders) and asians cheat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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This, ultra orthodox communities are notorious for covering up this stuff. Has been a huge issue in Brooklyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:21 AM Flag
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mmmm hmmmm. and they're so smart they get away with murders, too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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The men go to prostitutes all the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:01 AM Flag
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True. Happens in all secretive societies. Particularly where the women have no power [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:00 AM Flag
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Kiryas Joel is covering up a bunch of deadly drive-by shootings? Are you serious? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:14 AM Flag
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They mostly keep their violence within the family and don't report it. Domestic abuse and molestation are rampant in this community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:32 AM Flag
[ - ] Theories on the Amanda Knox case? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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luckkkkkkky [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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blame the black guy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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she did it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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goes without saying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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but why? how? just can't see it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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it was a sex game that went too far [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:17 AM Flag
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yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:37 AM Flag
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She got the black guy to do it. His fingerprints are in the blood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:21 AM Flag
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I thought she was innocent. Am wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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yep. wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:26 AM Flag
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evidence? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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Here is my theory, which I don't think I've ever seen but makes so much sense to me. I don't think she did it, but I do think she knew the guy who admitted to it and was convicted for it (Rudy Guede). I think he was her drug dealer and she owed him money, and told him to go rob the house when she knew she wouldn't be there, thinking that it would be empty. The roommate was unexpectedly there, and caught him, and one thing led to another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:42 AM Flag
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Agreed. Think she's not there when crime is committed. But she is probably still involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Am I the only one who misses kids opening presents at their bday parties? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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certainly not i. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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who wants to see that? no thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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The parties are boring enough as it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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apparently so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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Op here- I agree it is boring for adults. but Im talking about parties where just the kids are there (ie a handful of friends)- not those tedious whole-preschool-class affairs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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Our DC and their friends have 6-8 kids at their parties and they all open presents after cake. I like the tradition! So sweet for the kids to give the b-day kid a handmade card and the gift they picked out and wrapped. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:59 AM Flag
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Most of the NYC kids parties are at venues where you're paying by the hour. I don't want to spend half an hour opening gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:06 AM Flag
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Never did this as a kid and kind if hated it when others did / do. I remember being upset when the birthday kid opened a gift and was really excited and I could see from my friend's face that she had brought the same gift and it was so awkward when the birthday opened hers. Just lots if opportunity for hurt feelings and bad manners even among generally nice kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:12 AM Flag
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np. ITA. I remember this, and I hated it. And there was always at least one kid or two whose mom bought the bday kid something lame, which they didn't like, and you could just see the gift-giver kid curl in on himself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:34 AM Flag
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Yes. Excruciating. There was always someone feeling embarrassed, uncomfortable, or lesser [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:50 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:33 AM Flag
[ - ] STM? Should I apply for a job? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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Im not her, but the answer to that question is always yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 04:56 AM Flag
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Thanks. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.28.15, 05:00 AM Flag
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