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[ - ] Just found out our fourth is a girl - now we'll have two of each! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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Super. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
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awesome! THats my dream family dynamic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
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Perf! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
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MAZEL TOV! Wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:09 PM Flag
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Okay. I never cared about the gender. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:09 PM Flag
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weird response [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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As long as she's not sex-selecting, who cares if she's happy after she finds out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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Congrats! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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Nice! How old are your other 3? Do you SAH or WOH? And congrats! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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others are 2(boy), 4(boy), and 7(girl). I WOH four days a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:17 PM Flag
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jesus. you are going to be busy. four is like the new 8. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:17 PM Flag
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OP: thanks! This is the first time we've found out, and it was kind of accidental, but it's fun now knowing! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:17 PM Flag
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Trying to decide if we should go for a fourth. Congrats!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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Are you naming her Kitten? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone been to Mission Chinese? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
[ - ] DO you say something when you spot someone you know IRL on UB? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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has this ever happened to anyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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YES [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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ummm How does this happen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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they describe something very specific and you happen to know this about someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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+1 ... people overshare small details here and IRL on the same day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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Why on earth would anyone do that if they weren't an overgrown Mean Girl? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you still have to play hard to get if the guy is pursuing you intensely anyway? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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I dont think so, but some here will say yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:05 PM Flag
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Yes. At least a little. Keeps it interesting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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How so? Just take longer to respond? He sends me multiple messages. In only initiate if he sent the last text, but I only initiated once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:02 PM Flag
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sure take longer to reply [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:09 PM Flag
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I don't think it hurts to start conversation but when he contacts you don't always respond with in 30 seconds. Give it 5 minutes or an hour. Make it varied. If you like him show you are interested but you are busy with other things in your life too (which you are). If he wants to get together for a date don't always be available at the last minute. Tell him you are only available during certain dates/times not "I'm always available!! Ready when you are". I know this sounds cheesy but I read the book "Why Men Love Bitches" and the author had some interesting insights on dating that changed my outlook. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
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i think many women confuse acting normally with playing hard to get. if you act normally, you are not chasing or being too available or any of the things you're not supposed to do. if i am out living my life, then i HAVE plans for Friday and Saturday already because I'm not leaving them open "just in case" and I don't need to pretend that I'm busy bc the guy called too late in the week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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that's ridiculous. what if you're a homebody and you don't usually have plans for fri/sat? i say just let them ask you out and pay for the date. the other stuff is being mental. you just want to make sure you don't waste your time chasing some guy who isn't really interested in you but will stick around it doesn't cost much time/effort/money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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Lie. That is what I did. He was none the wiser and now he is my DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:15 PM Flag
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but he would prob have married you even if you didn't have plans sat/fri by tuesday night, right? if he's a good guy he wouldn't care about that stuff and if he's not then, well, i don't want him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:18 PM Flag
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no. you never play hard to get to be coy unless you're retarded. you play it cool so you can weed out the shitheads hanging around for free sex. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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please dont use the "r" word [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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retarded? what if i have some produce that have retarded spoilage b/c i keep it extra cold? isn't it retarded to refrain from using retarded? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
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Every answer you've gotten so far is clearly from a woman! DH here. Keep playing hard to get and it will turn into "Seek and Conquer" After that, it'll turn into "Run as fast as you can!" Don't play games after a guy has made it clear he digs you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
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I agree with this but it isn't "playing games" if you actually have a life and are keeping up with your own interests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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so you're one of these retards who need drama aka as "seek-and-conquer" (in your parlance) in your life? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
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just let him chase. if he's pursuing you intensely, he probably enjoys that. why take it away from him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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Honestly, I wouldn't want someone to pursue me intensely. If I'm saying 'no, no, no' and a guy is still in the game, I have to wonder what's wrong with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
[ - ] What is wrong with stealing small items from a grocery store? They can't do anything to you even if they've watched you finish and throw away a full beverage. I do this all the time when I'm shopping. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:03 PM Flag
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Totally! I tend to steal small items from Harry Winston. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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i hope that's totally stealing unless it falls under the "grocery store" exemption which allows for "edible" jewelry such as pear and diamond. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:15 PM Flag
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I hope you get caught. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:58 PM Flag
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I dont know - what is wrong with stealing anyway??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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i don't think that's true. some woman was arrested when she ate a packaged sandwich then forgot to pay for it. it was on the news. i don't know if she really forgot or it was accidentally on purpose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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OP: it is true. grocery stores occasionally have investigators standing there to watch out for shoplifters- they are trained specifically to look out for people with shoplifting behavior. i.e., if someone opens a coke in the store they are much more likely to steal other items, etc. but the way it works is that if you've only opened a coke or taken something small, the most they can do is give you a warning- and it's not worth their time. the security is there to search for the big fish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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What's the big fish? Stuffing a turkey down your shirt? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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I've seen people put steaks in their shirt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:05 PM Flag
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If the lady gaga trend caught in they could have the steaks as their shirt and really get a good get! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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people you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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i was wondering, too. but you know, they do have $50 acid reflux meds and so forth. but i think op is being silly. people do get prosecuted for little things sometimes as a deterrent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:15 PM Flag
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I would think if you open a Coke they really won't/can't do anything unless you try and walk out without paying for it. I have often grabbed a bottle of water or coke and start drinking it while shopping, but I always pay for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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"accidentally on purpose" - one of my favorite phrases :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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What about that woman who loaded up her stroller basket with groceries (I recall these included a 6 pack of something) shortly after Fairway opened on 86th and "forgot" to pay for them (paid only for stuff in hand basket). She went to the media to try to embarrass Fairway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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I remember her. Do you think she really intended to steal them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:19 PM Flag
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Why do you do it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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It all adds up- in the long run it ends up saving me tons of money. And the small thrill of it. Honestly don't even think about it anymore have been doing it for years and years. I wouldn't do it at a local mom & pop store. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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fuck you - really...yes it seems small but grocery store margins are so freaking small as it is - then all you "it's only a small item, no one will notice and I get a cheap thrill from it" people just drive up the prices even more and it is just dishonest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:17 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:19 PM Flag
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np I'm thinking she figures others should pay her way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:09 PM Flag
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Yeah, I chug at least 3 beers every time I go to Whole Foods. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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but is it worth it? do they have good beers there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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Lame [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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You must be white. Otherwise you'd already be under the jail! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:15 PM Flag
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Sometimes dh "samples" some nuts from the bulk bins and I pretend I'm not with him and he tells me that I am a bad partner in crime and I tell him he can go down alone when the heat gets hot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:15 PM Flag
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I really hope you're not a parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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It's the same as any other type of stealing. The fact that you get away with it makes it no less wrong than other types of theft. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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OP: also, for anyone who doesn't know-- whole foods has a sampling policy where you can ask to taste anything in the store (fresh or packaged) and they will let you try it. it's part of their business model. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:18 PM Flag
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Aren't you special. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Currently 5pm, is it supposed to start pouring in Manhattan again? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:02 PM Flag
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no weather watchers out there to answer this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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Weather.com would work best [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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Weather.com would work best [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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Weather.com would work best [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
[ - ] If grandparent pays grandchild's tuition (approx $40k), is that a taxable gift (above the $14kexclusion)? DOes it matter if grandparent pays the school directly? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:01 PM Flag
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I was wondering the same thing. I saw a post earlier where someone saif her parents pay her dc's tuition, horse boarding fees (lol), housekeeper, etc. If taxes on gifts are only excluded up to $14k/year, how do they do it legally? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:03 PM Flag
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What a spoiled brat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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np: she may be spoiled, but not necessarily a brat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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Oh please people... It has nothing to do with being spoiled, it is just an efficient tax avoidance strategy of passing down $$$. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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maybe she really appreciates it--how do you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:09 PM Flag
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Still, adults pay their own way. That is way overboard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:03 PM Flag
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The exclusion is $14k per person. So if there is a family of 4, grandma could gift $14k to each of them, which is $56k/year, and grandpa could do the same which would bring it to $112k/year for that family. So tuition and a few extras would be covered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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My understanding is that tuition and medical expenses (if paid directly) are excluded from the gift tax exemption limit, but check with your accountant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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You can do it through an UGMA account I believe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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Nm scratch that I temporarily was speaking nonsense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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No it is not. Education and healthcare expenses paid directly to the provider of such services are not considered taxable gifts. It is a BIG reason why wealthy grandparents pay their grandkids tuition - estate tax planning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
[ - ] iphone or Samsung Galaxy? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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iphone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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iPhone! hands down! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there a nice way to tell someone "I don't give a shit about your ugly baby"? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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LOL let me know if you find an answer to this. So tired of faking interest in babies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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Blank look. Then say "I'm considering bunion removal surgery." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
[ - ] DD has an assignment to make a web page. What websites would be interesting to moms? kids? totally at a loss. It has to be original 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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Make one about culling other websites for business ideas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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isn't she supposed to figure out what would be interesting to her? she probably can figure it out better than we can [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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how about a website for parents who want to outsource their kids' homework [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
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We are obviously the wrong group to ask about interesting websites. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
[ - ] If we won the lottery, I'd... 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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Buy a brownstone in cobble hill, buy my dh a bar, rent a beautiful beach house in a different location every year and get a massage once a week. When the kids get older I would travel as much as possible. I would also buy my in-laws a nice house and pay for my cousin to get a divorce and kick her husband out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:58 PM Flag
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I'd put my shoes back on, get my bag and my favorite pen, and walk out the front door of this office building and never reenter for as long as I live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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I would leave more dramatically. There would be some mooning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:01 PM Flag
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I have more packing to do, but ditto! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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I would photocopy my butt first!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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pay off the debts and mortgages of me and my sister. invest in lowest-risk, highest yield, fully fund retirement savings and college savings. take a few amazing trips, some with dcs, some just with dh, some with family and/or friends. One thing I wouldn't do, is quit my job, which I love. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
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no such thing as low risk with high yield, but otherwise sounds nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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Move out of NYC and hold a press conference about the high tax rates driving capital elsewhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:05 PM Flag
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Never fly coach again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Leah, Charlotte, Julia, Olivia or Lily? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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Leah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:49 PM Flag
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Great Jewish name [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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Charlotte [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:49 PM Flag
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Leah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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Julia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:58 PM Flag
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Julia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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Leah or Julia, Charlotte and Lily have been done to death already [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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np: How about Olivia? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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olivia is pretty common here in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:11 PM Flag
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Julia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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I hate Leah. The rest are super popular. I would go with Julia or Charlotte. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:05 PM Flag
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+1. Leah is a fat girl name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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I like all of them, but I feel like Olivia and Lily are super popular. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:13 PM Flag
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Leah and Charlotte are on my list too, along with Anna, Norah and Eleanor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Anthony Weiner related to Matthew Weiner? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:53 PM Flag
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Matthew Weiner? The character Big in SATC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:51 PM Flag
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No, Oscar Mayer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:51 PM Flag
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No. And I think Anthony pronounces it "wee-ner" but Matthew pronounces it "wy-ner". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
[ - ] DD will turn 1 in a month. $ is a little tight. what should we get her? (right now she plays with older DB's old toys 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:49 PM Flag
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She's 1. Why do you have to get her anything? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:51 PM Flag
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because it's her first birthday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:52 PM Flag
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you can get her a cupcake. honestly. she's ONE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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NP: This is a good idea. She'll love it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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Pssst, she might not remember this day.....ever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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A easel from ikea. $16 and a roll of paper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:53 PM Flag
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we already have that!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:53 PM Flag
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Ok, something else from ikea or a fancy tutu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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A framed picture of your family and hang it somewhere low where she can look at it and say the names. If you wanted to make it a neat keepsake, you could have it engraved or painted with the date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:05 PM Flag
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Nothing. She won't notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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who are you getting the present for? your friends who ask what you got her? your family? the photos for the future? she doesn't need a gift- every single day of life is a gift for now- everything is new and exciting. i agree with above, she'll be happy with a cupcake or some fruit. don't worry OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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stuffed animal and a cupcake (more so you feel like you did something, she won't care). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:10 PM Flag
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etsy.com! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:06 PM Flag
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op here: I guess it's for me, not to feel guilty that we are not doing anything compared to her brother! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:09 PM Flag
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one small new toy. honestly, i can't remember what we got either dc for their first bday. bake a cake or cupcake and take a photo with the candles so dc has a momento. that's plenty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:16 PM Flag
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A box of tissues. She will have fun pulling them all out! I remember a pediatrician saying he buys this for every single baby on their first bday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to take my best friend out for a special 40th birthday dinner. I'm ok paying Del Posto or Bouley prices, but I want someplace less stuffy/more fun. She is crazy about good food and wine. Any ideas? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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wd40 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:42 PM Flag
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Is it wd 50? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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Awesome and weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:52 PM Flag
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Had a fabulous meal at Soto, in the Village. Japanese food. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:52 PM Flag
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Perla [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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Reynard at the Wythe Hotel in Williamsburg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:03 PM Flag
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HA! i dont know any fun places any more! I used to though 15 years ago [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Born and raised in the city. Finally got out and I LOVE the suburbs. All the good is still there when we want it, but here we have quiet, calm, stars, civility, and garages!!!!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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Where is this magical place? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:47 PM Flag
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Harlem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:44 PM Flag
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Many states away from NY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:50 PM Flag
[ - ] i wonder if blue ivy's brother or sister will be pink? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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Pink Rosie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:48 PM Flag
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Lavender Rose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:52 PM Flag
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forgive me for being behind in celeb gossip, but is beyonce pregnant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Lane (for DS or DD) 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:45 PM Flag
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yes for DD only [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:47 PM Flag
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English only [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] I try so hard to be a good person. I really try to teach my kids what it means to be a good citizen and a good neighbor. I'm having one of those days where it all seems so pointless. When I teach my kids by example to always do the right thing, but then someone shoves us on the bus, or cuts in line, or (as witnessed today) opens a bag of chips right in the grocery store, eats them, and doesn't pay. Am I the schmuck for telling my kids that they must wait their turn in line, always say "excuse me" when walking past another person, and of course never stealing from a grocery store? Why do some people not bother? It seems so defeatist, like why do I even try. My 5 year old knows to hold the door open for people, and he never gets a thank you. Has everyone just given up on being a good citizen? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:44 PM Flag
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keep doing what you are doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:40 PM Flag
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You do the right thing without expecting anything in return. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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Don't be so dramatic. This is reality. Teach them to do what they know is right and not what everyone else is doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:40 PM Flag
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THIS. it will pay off. I keep trying to teach DC to behave and it feels so pointless sometimes (in addition to being a good citizen and neighbor) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:42 PM Flag
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+1. Depress easily much? MOST people say, "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me." My son holds the door for people, too, and I don't think he's ever not gotten a very enthusiastic, "thank you!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:43 PM Flag
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drives me crazy when the kids (and their parents) rush by the doorman in the morning with zero acknowledgement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:41 PM Flag
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I hear you. Very sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:48 PM Flag
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you never know what someone else's day has been like before you see them. Tell your kids to keep doign the right thing. Maybe even if they don't get a thank you, the person to whom they showed good manners or kindness will pay it forward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:48 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:50 PM Flag
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OP, I have this very same conversation with myself every now and then, and it goes beyond just having good manners. Look around at our government and business leaders, and it's apparent that lying, cheating and stealing are often the most powerful levers at one's disposal when it comes to achieving 'success' in life. I often wonder if the only ones who make it to 'the top' are the kids who cheat their way through school and then, when they are in the work-world, manipulate and sabotage others for their benefit. As a friend of mine says, the challenge is to figure out how to teach your kids to be 'in' the world but not 'of' the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:44 PM Flag
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Yes, this is why I vote Democrat. The concept of "hard work equals success" is complete bullshit. Most successful people don't just work hard, but they work "smart", which very often means pushing off the real hard work to someone else while you take the credit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:47 PM Flag
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OR - and then I honestly wonder sometimes if by teaching the right values I'm not being a chump and setting my kid up to have her expectations disappointed when others are playing by a different set of rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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pp: I wonder the same thing. I have an innate sense of fairness ingrained into my being and I become angry very often when people break rules. I also often become emotional and upset when I think about the complete injustice of the world and how lucky/unlucky some people are for no real reason. In a way, I want DS to also care about these things so he can be a good person but I don't want him to get stepped on by everyone around him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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Manners are about your character, not the character of others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 08:50 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.13, 09:07 PM Flag
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