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05.20.13, 01:27 PM
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Have not found them flaky at all
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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How did you find your sitter and how many hrs goes she work per week?
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05.20.13, 01:25 PM
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High school junior - just asked around to find her - usually 2-3 days a week - 2-3 hours each time
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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That's what I need! So you found her through another mom?
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05.20.13, 01:39 PM
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How much do you pay the college/ grad students?
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05.20.13, 01:25 PM
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We pay $18 per hour to babysit our 2 toddlers.
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05.20.13, 01:40 PM
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What do you care how they spend their money? If you want a different kind of college student, put your add up at a different kind of school. Try Hunter.
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05.20.13, 01:31 PM
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I don't think you should judge the college girls who show up, based on the actions of the ones who blow you off. Also why do you care what they're wearing? As long as they're dressed professionally, why do their LV bags and Tori Burch shoes bother you?
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05.20.13, 01:26 PM
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05.20.13, 01:18 PM
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My saving grace will be that when my oldest is a senior (this next year), my next will be a freshman, and he would consider anyone his younger brother's age to be a kid. No matter how cute she is. Actually my problem is that I think he dates girls too old for him. His last gf earlier this year was 20. He was 17.
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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OP: my saving grace is that both ds's will not be 18 until after high school graduation. Although that doesn't mean they aren't still at risk for breaking the law.
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05.20.13, 01:30 PM
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^^^in case you are wondering, I posted because I read a story of an 18 year old lesbian being prosecuted for having sex with a 15 year girl, and it really did seem like a double standard. Do 18 year old boys really avoid freshmen as a rule?
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05.20.13, 01:28 PM
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Most of the seniors like the fresh meat available in 9th grade
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05.20.13, 01:30 PM
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OP: yes, but are their parents warning them to stay away once they turn 18? Otherwise they can be expelled/prosecuted.
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05.20.13, 01:31 PM
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Warn all you want, it doesn't really matter.
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05.20.13, 01:35 PM
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Yes, but their parents blame it on the girls.
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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Yes, like the 14 year old has some kind of agenda. Ignoring the fact that almost all guys like younger girls who are naive.
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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No. They go after them.
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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Let me ask.
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05.20.13, 01:28 PM
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My guess would be depending on state law a 15 and an 18 year old may or may not be illegal.I don't think it's something that is normally prosecuted. I would guess most cases when it is prosecuted, the parents are very angry about the relationship.
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05.20.13, 01:28 PM
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In most states illegal
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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If you are not NYC, also remember that any DUI in NYS with someone under 16 in the car becomes a felony.
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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First, you should educate yourself as to the laws in your state - and educate your DS as well. http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm Next - please explain how you "forbid" an 18YO to date someone. Sounds like a good way to ensure they date the person you are 'forbidding' to me.
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05.20.13, 01:38 PM
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Well, at a minimum, you dont give them money or car to facilitate date.
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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05.20.13, 01:15 PM
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Honestly, no.
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05.20.13, 01:13 PM
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I am confused - no at the end of a sentence means yes?
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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True - it is a low class trait
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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?? Wtf.
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05.20.13, 01:17 PM
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No, I am American. It means no.
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05.20.13, 01:16 PM
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What? Why would it mean, "yes?" If she wrote something like, "Definitely, no?" the question mark used in conjunction with the positive answer would indicate that she is answering in the affirmative, but not in this case.
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05.20.13, 01:19 PM
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Why not?
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05.20.13, 01:13 PM
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She has two children already and I would hate to be bald forever.
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05.20.13, 01:15 PM
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Bald mothers can be great mothers
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05.20.13, 01:20 PM
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I didn't say she would be a bad mother, I just personally would not want to be bald.
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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That is such a personal decision. Many of us only have two kids, period, so would never consider 3 regardless. It depends how important your hair is to you.
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05.20.13, 01:25 PM
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I have never heard of pg. worsening primary alopecia. You may get the normal telogen affluvium, that most women get when they shed like crazy after birth due to the hair going into a resting phase. i would get a second opinion.
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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Op: really? Are you familiar ith the condition?
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05.20.13, 01:27 PM
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Yes. Google it.
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05.20.13, 01:38 PM
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Hair is over-rated. If you want a third, go for it.
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05.20.13, 01:27 PM
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05.20.13, 01:15 PM
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No I don't think you are. What if you had just taken a huge dump and your place smelled - you were saving him from being exposed to this
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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- or if you just wanted to finish putting on your make-up
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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High maintenance
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05.20.13, 01:25 PM
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NP or your place was a mess. The issue is not that you were being a bit uptight (I am too!) but that he got so pouty and annoyed about it. Dump.
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05.20.13, 01:20 PM
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This.
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05.20.13, 01:31 PM
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OP: My apartment was a disaster so I really didn't want anyone to see it. But my main issue was with how he just announced he was coming up rather than asking if it was OK. If we had been dating longer I would not mind at all (or if it was a friend), I just hated the presumption. And then the way HE reacted to me saying no.
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05.20.13, 01:28 PM
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Yes. Need to chill out
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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Yes. You blew it.
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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Eh, I think I dodged a bullet. His reaction to me saying no showed a side that I did not really like - seems like he may have a bit of an angry streak.
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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Listen to your gut. Honestly, to me after 4 dates if a guy is already showing pouty moody nonsense, that is a big giant red flag. He can't fake it? RUN RUN RUN
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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I am such an old fogey, I realize. There is a whole generation of dating age kids and young adults whose only communication is via text. I understand your annoyance and most likely he was just thoughtless and not presumptious. Would be better if people talked on the phone like the old days.
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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If he had reacted better to me saying no, I would think maybe he was just thoughtless/worded it wrong, but his annoyance with me when I said no makes me think he was being presumptuous.
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05.20.13, 01:35 PM
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I am an old fogey too, apparently, and I am only 30. My initial reaction was wait, doesn't he ALWAYS come up to her door for their dates? And of course the texting thing. I didn't know adults actually communicated that way, other than to say something like, "in a meeting late, home at 7"
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05.20.13, 01:39 PM
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He probably should have phrased it differently, like asking you instead of telling you, but do you like this guy? If so, why be so difficult/weird about him coming up? I would understand a little more if it was after dinner, but it was beforehand and you had a reservation to make. Seems unlikely that he had a hidden agenda. I'm not sure why you would make this an issue if you plan to continue seeing him.
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05.20.13, 01:22 PM
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I think it's presumptuous of him to invite himself, but it would have been better to say, "my place is not camera ready. Let's go for a walk/ drink / whatever before we go to the restaurant."
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05.20.13, 01:28 PM
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OP: I actually did say Sorry, my apartment is a mess, no one gets to see it when it is like this - and he still acted annoyed/pouty. It honestly was the presumption and then his attitude when I said no that turned me off. He said "Well what are we supposed to do now? It is raining out and our reservation isn't for another hour." Dude, then don't make a reservation for an hour after we are supposed to meet!
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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He seems to lack imagination. Aren't there bars nearby? Shops to browse?
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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were your kids at home? I wouldn't let a casual date meet your kids.
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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You date with kids....does your dh know
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05.20.13, 01:25 PM
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No kids.
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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Why are there so many people with no kids on Urban Baby? I don't have a problem with it, just find it strange. I assume posters here have kids, unless they state otherwise.
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05.20.13, 01:30 PM
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Is his name a five letter word that starts with an S and end in an E? If so, Dump and RUN!!
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05.20.13, 01:28 PM
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OMG his name is a 6 letter word that starts with S and ends with N - but the shortened version is 5 letter ends with E! I wonder if it is the same guy....
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05.20.13, 01:37 PM
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05.20.13, 12:58 PM
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Men who don't perform oral
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05.20.13, 12:55 PM
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Men with small dicks
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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Is 5 minutes ok? Or do you judge people who aren't early?
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05.20.13, 01:03 PM
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5 minutes is not a big deal (unless it happens every. single. time.) I am talking about people who always leave you waiting for them, like your group can;t be seated a restaurant because the whole group isn't there.
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05.20.13, 01:00 PM
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I am 5 mins. late often but it is never at anyone else's expense. Having kids definitely helped me to be better organized and on time, but I still HATE being early for things and sitting around doing nothing.
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05.20.13, 01:08 PM
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np: I would be OK with this if it were really "never at anyone else's expense" but I doubt that's the case. I mean, everyone hates sitting around doing nothing. But if that sitting around time is lengthened because someone else is late, it is even worse. So disrespectful.
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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+1000
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05.20.13, 01:38 PM
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I have a friend like this. We no longer wait for her. We seat giving her a few minutes to get to where we are and we proceed without. Then we let the waitstaff deal with her when she finally makes an entrance. She's gotten better at being timely.
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05.20.13, 01:22 PM
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Whether you're late 5mins or 15mins every single time, you need to adjust something. Your time, getting up earlier, skipping breakfast, whatever it is that puts you out.
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05.20.13, 01:18 PM
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Being vegan, it's so hard to eat out with them
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05.20.13, 01:01 PM
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People who constantly find fault in others.
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05.20.13, 01:01 PM
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People who are ugly/smug
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05.20.13, 01:05 PM
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You can't help being ugly, that is genetics.
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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It still annoys me
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05.20.13, 01:22 PM
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That is just mean.
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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Those who don't keep their word. What is the purpose of opening their mouths?
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05.20.13, 01:16 PM
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Bjs
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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Since tartiness is already take I'll go with people who sing out loud. I'm not talking about a little humming. I'm talking about people who just sit there and sing a song at full volume like they're alone in the shower or it's some great treat to everyone else around them. I've had this happen on the train many times and I had a coworker who used to do it all the time. It drives me insane.
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05.20.13, 01:27 PM
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I love tarts.
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05.20.13, 01:30 PM
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+100000!!! That, and people who listen to music on the subway either without headphones, or so loudly they may as well not have them at all. Thanks, but we don't all share your crappy taste in rap/hip-hop music.
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05.20.13, 01:40 PM
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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I mean we don't work for the same company.
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05.20.13, 12:57 PM
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U married?
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05.20.13, 12:54 PM
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We both are.
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05.20.13, 01:04 PM
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Are you sexually attracted to him
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05.20.13, 12:58 PM
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Somewhat. He is conflicted about whether or not to sleep together.
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05.20.13, 01:05 PM
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Go for it ...YOLO
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05.20.13, 01:04 PM
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What's YOLO?
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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This isn't a work husband. This is a plain old affair in the making.
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05.20.13, 01:13 PM
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So what
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05.20.13, 01:23 PM
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I don't think that's what a work husband is
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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What is it then?
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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A BFF of the opposite sex who you work with
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05.20.13, 01:31 PM
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Good luck. No all work hubby relationships lead to affairs
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05.20.13, 12:55 PM
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Mine did
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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Who doesn't?
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05.20.13, 12:55 PM
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How often do you meet? Is it for lunch? You are not "conflicted?"
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05.20.13, 01:15 PM
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Almost every day, go for a walk or coffee, e-mails. The way you guys define "work husband" I thought this was consistent with that. Guess not.
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05.20.13, 01:25 PM
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That is not a work husband. It's a crush. Big difference.
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05.20.13, 01:11 PM
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I don't have a crush on him, I'm using him to get over someone else.
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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Your husband, or another affair? This is very confusing. But if it's not a work husband. Those are, by definition, men you work with and have a daily/ domestic type routine, not guys you meet for flirty lunches.
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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Ok so how is this different than what I am describing here? There's no physicality.
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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There's no necessary interaction, no sharing of drudgery. That's what makes a work spouse, as opposed to, in your case, a potential affair. Work spouse, by definition, is someone you work with. Not someone you go out of your way to meet up with, as you do with this guy. And though there's no physicality (yet), there is clearly flirtation -- he wants to sleep with you.
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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Way to think ahead. :eyeroll:
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05.20.13, 01:31 PM
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05.20.13, 12:52 PM
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Mr.Ed,a horse is a horse,etc.
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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Family Ties, Growing Pains, Love American Style, Love Boat
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05.20.13, 12:54 PM
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OP: I like the Mad Men theme.
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05.20.13, 01:04 PM
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I hate the mad men theme ... It and the opening sequence with the businessman falling down the side of a building remind me of 9/11
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05.20.13, 01:04 PM
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Oh. I think you just ruined it for me.
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05.20.13, 01:20 PM
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I'm sorry ... I actually thought you were kidding. I think they make that theme depressing on purpose
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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Good bye song from Bear in the big blue house.
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05.20.13, 12:58 PM
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Omg I think I remember that
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05.20.13, 01:04 PM
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Golden Girls, such a "feel good" song
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05.20.13, 01:00 PM
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+1
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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+1
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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Agree!
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05.20.13, 01:04 PM
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magic garden
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05.20.13, 01:02 PM
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Hahaha ... Have you seen those two lately?
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05.20.13, 01:06 PM
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That show was awesome.
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05.20.13, 01:10 PM
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YES! WINNER!
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05.20.13, 01:21 PM
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Mr Belvedere. That song is hilarious.
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05.20.13, 01:08 PM
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The Waltons
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05.20.13, 01:05 PM
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Sesame Street
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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The Jeffersons. Also the theme song from FNL is very moving.
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05.20.13, 01:13 PM
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also, Welcome Back Kotter.
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05.20.13, 01:13 PM
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Def.
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05.20.13, 01:15 PM
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Friends.
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05.20.13, 01:19 PM
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Room 222. The Partridge Family.
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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Maude
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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05.20.13, 12:51 PM
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Agree with this, and thought of that article when I was reading the popular post of well behaved children. It's about self control and discipline. Too easy to blame the nature of the kid and become a lazy parent.
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05.20.13, 01:00 PM
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most of the time, yes. i agree. when you dont teach your kids to self regulate, eventually, drugs are the way. that being said, this isnt true in 100% of cases, and the author's tone of blame takes away her credibility.
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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I didn't read the article but French children are raised much differently. The standards for behavior are different. I speak from experience having spent time in France as a child an an adult. I am not sure which is better but the French do have different standards.
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05.20.13, 01:17 PM
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np: ITA -- I don't think French kids sit still better -- just the opposite -- but no one cares.
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05.20.13, 01:35 PM
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while i agree with much of the article, i cannot help feeling that author does not have children of her own. the tone is smug and lacks nuance. it attaches blame. and I'm the parent of two kids that runs an extremely structured home and has two well behaved, disciplined kids. that author was tiresome.
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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05.20.13, 12:49 PM
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How old is your child?
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05.20.13, 12:51 PM
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She is in grade school.
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05.20.13, 12:47 PM
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Is he a boy? I would avoid catholic.
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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Both of these are traditional curricula. If both of them are similarly academically oriented, I think it makes more sense to decide which school fits better with your family's values and lifestyle. Which is the most convenient to your home? Does one have a particularly friendly/welcoming atmosphere? Or perhaps one seems a bit cultish, and you'd prefer a school that doesn't become the center of your life? In general, what is taught is less important than how it is taught.
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05.20.13, 01:06 PM
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Seems you're either comfortable with catholic or not. If you are comfortable, and that school is good but significantly cheaper than the private, I'd go with that. But we're not rich.
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05.20.13, 01:15 PM
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You don't sound like you are Catholic. Are you comfortable having your child spend so much time on a religion you don't believe in? It is usually woven into the curriculum, especially in grade school. Every Holiday, almost every school performance will be religious.
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05.20.13, 01:24 PM
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05.20.13, 12:44 PM
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That's pretty standard.
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05.20.13, 12:38 PM
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Is it? I always think - "Oh, she's younger and prettier than I am. What a loser I am."
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05.20.13, 12:45 PM
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Uh, yeah. That's standard.
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05.20.13, 12:43 PM
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This is me, too. I also feel insecure about my educational accomplishments (Only a BA)
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05.20.13, 12:47 PM
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What horrifying flaws.
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05.20.13, 12:43 PM
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not me. how sad!
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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Oh, I bet you can do better than that.
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05.20.13, 12:39 PM
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? Like I have a worse flaw?
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05.20.13, 12:47 PM
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I'm a worrywart and a nag
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05.20.13, 12:53 PM
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I am jealous and mean to DH, and a bit chubby
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05.20.13, 12:55 PM
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habitually late. 8(
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05.20.13, 12:55 PM
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that's annoying
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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That is annoying, and that can be fixed. Show some respect for other people's time.
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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Oh wow! What great advice! I'm sure the OR will totally change overnight now! Do you have anymore wisdom to share? On this or ANY topic? We NEED more deep thinkers like you.
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05.20.13, 12:52 PM
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How hard is it to be on time? Sure, everyone is late occasionally, and sometimes things are out of your control (traffic, stuck at work, etc). But to be habitually late shows laziness and a lack of respect for other people's time. If you know you have a tendency to be late, make sure you leave 15 minutes early or whatever.
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05.20.13, 12:56 PM
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I have a friend who is ALWAYS late, and it drives me crazy because she always leaves people waiting. For example, if we have dinner reservations at 8pm, she invariably shows up at 8:30. Inconsiderate when you have a group who can't be seated until the whole party is there.
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05.20.13, 12:59 PM
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ITTA
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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I let stuff (literally) pile up - especially mail, clothes, etc.
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05.20.13, 12:57 PM
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+1
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05.20.13, 12:57 PM
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Me too.
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05.20.13, 01:14 PM
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Major procrastinator
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05.20.13, 12:57 PM
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Me too. It's awful. There is always that nagging feeling that wouldn't be there if you just DID it, but easier said than done.
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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Cant give a good bj
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05.20.13, 12:55 PM
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Cup the balls and use your hand to help. They like enthusiasm.
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05.20.13, 01:09 PM
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I love the taste.....
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05.20.13, 01:23 PM
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You fucking lie.
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05.20.13, 01:33 PM
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it is WAY too early for that sh!t
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05.20.13, 01:34 PM
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I never follow through with things. Didn't finish college. As an adult I will start a project but then get bored and not complete it.
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05.20.13, 01:32 PM
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I have no patience.
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05.20.13, 01:29 PM
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