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[ - ] Is this crazy? We are going to a relatives lake house for 4th of July with our 3-year old DD and 5-month old DB. My uncle is planning to take everyone out on the boat to see fireworks on the 4th. My husband thinks it is ok to bring the baby on the boat at night and ordered him an infant life jacket. I trust my uncle to drive us but am worried about drunks on the lake. Am also worried him being scared by the loud noise. Should I stay back with the baby? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Noise is not a big deal, but I agree I would not take either kid out on a boat in the dark on a crowded, partying night. Watch from the shore. The noise is not a big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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Baby would be easy. I'd stay back with three year old. Baby in a carrier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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Mine would have slept through the whole thing. I can't comment about drunks on the lake - I don't know what the vibe will be where you're going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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How big is this lake? I ask because I grew up in lake country (Michigan) and most of our lakes were small, and we were never concerned about drunks on the lake. Ive been on boats on the lake for july 4th many times- its fun. but if you are anxious, i'm sure you could stay home instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Bristol Palin- what a train wreck. First she has a child as a teen. Then she becomes a spokesperson against teenage pregnancy and for abstinence before marriage. And now she has a second child before marriage. But we should be impressed with her because she stuck by her pro-life position? Am I getting this right? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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What a nut. Whose is the child anyway? I suppose not her fiancée's since she called of the wedding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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^^ off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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The Apple does not fall far from the tree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
[ - ] LOL 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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How many candidates for the rep party? Such a divided party and each candidate is worse than the other. Pathetic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
[ - ] visiting a 10 yr old friend of DS who just broke arm. what should we take? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Baseball mitt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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Some crayons and a coloring book [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] DH here with SAHM, our reality: When I come home from a hard days work and you're waiting there, not a care in the world... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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Are you Seals or Crofts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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LOL: just heard it on Pandora this morning and sent chills up my spine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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OR- it's a great song. Always listen when it comes on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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What song is this?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Summer Breeze [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Well then, get back to work, slacker! Signed, Breadwinning WOHM who isn't a complaining loser about it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Hey, really not complaining... And what your excuse for slacking? Vay k day? Sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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I'm on a call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Should she be worried that you don't earn enough? BTW, she worries about the kids and plans for them in ways that never cross your mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
[ - ] 46 and pregnant. I am figuring it's highly likely I'll miscarry but, YIKES! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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How old are your other children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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4 and 6 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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I often think about how, just two or three generations ago, women were basically pregnant or nursing continuously for 20 years or more. Babies just arrived on a regular basis. Now we make such a fuss about having kids. (Not to minimize your experience in any way. I hope all goes well.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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Yes, but they usually started in their early 20's and then stopped before this age! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Do we want to be pregnant? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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OP: Not sure. Haven't really thought too much about it. I think I am more focused on how OLD I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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I'm 49, and I totally get it. Miscarriage chances are certainly higher, but I wouldn't say "highly likely." Now, are we going to let nature take its course either way, or do you have decisions to make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:19 PM Flag
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> oops, actually realize I was ignorant of true miscarriage risk. Yes, it is higher than I thought. I am sorry to hear that. Though still, the non-miscarriage rate is appreciable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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I had a miscarriage a few years ago and another before my first child, so I am figuring it's fairly likely, especially being even older now. If you mean would I end the pregnancy, only if there were serious defects. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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OK, wasn't sure what was going on here. This sounds like it would keep you in quite a state of suspense--not knowing whether to hope it works and imagine it working, or accept with resignation it probably won't -- etc. Good luck navigating this time of uncertainty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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OK, wasn't sure what was going on here. This sounds like it would keep you in quite a state of suspense--not knowing whether to hope it works and imagine it working, or accept with resignation it probably won't -- etc. Good luck navigating this time of uncertainty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:26 PM Flag
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Was it by design? You should not have the baby unless it was by design. Signed, Bigot mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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Spits coffee on keyboard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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:)) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:26 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O on MP married women post - I work with four millennial men, and I'm 10 years older than them. Each of them is either married or has a serious girlfriend that he plans to marry soon. This is in big law. They are all sweet and seemingly 100% devoted to their ladies. On the other hand, I work with several men my own age (late thirties) who are all dogs. I don't know that millennials deserve the bad rap that they get. Seems to me the gen-Xers are far worse. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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This is an interesting data point. It shows that young women need to consider men of all ages, but focus their time on men ready to marry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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Are you in the litigation department? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Nope. Finance. And I would say about 40% of our clients are obvious dogs, too (they're all 35+, at least the ones I know). The other 60% I have no reason to believe they are, but you never know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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may be tied to the 2008 downturn. less jerks going into the law because potential upside is smaller. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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maybe the men your age were sweet and devoted when they were newly married or about to marry? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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This. These guys are young and in love. The dog will come out later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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Maybe or maybe not. I noticed that a lot of the most successful men in big law married quite young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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The most successful men I know in big law married young, for the first time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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Interesting question, but I don't think so. All of my guy friends were total dogs when we were in our twenties. A couple of them have cleaned up their act and are good, devoted husbands, but a majority of them I know - let's just say I try not to be friends with their wives because it would be awkward. I luckily married a very nice man 10 years older than me, but I had to realize that a very nice man was what I really wanted before I could even be interested. I had a penchant for luring in terrible but attractive men and then hurting them. Not consciously so, but looking back, that's what I was doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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Women need to pick wisely. I have several friends who married obvious jerks and are now single moms. They knew ahead of time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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Guess I am in the wrong generation. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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I'm in law too (non-profit), and some of our millenial paralegals just blow me away with their maturity and calm. Definitely more of them are living with boyfriends or girlfriends than when I was that age, and I agree lots seem very sweet. I don't know, though, whether that would change as they get older, get stressed, etc.-- let alone the midlife crisis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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Yes a lot of the young men in my office are engaged, married or in serious relationships. I'm 37 and work in finance. On the other hand, I think finance tends to attract people who are fairly conservative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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they don't hate their SOs yet - just give the marriages time into their late-30s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:20 PM Flag
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You are seriously bitter. Just move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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Agree. The guy near me at work was talking about engagement rings with his office mate for weeks. He is 28. He is engaged now and will be married in 6 months. 29. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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Meant he is 28. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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Also, Millennial men aren't lying about their age (yet). PSA to all men over 45 on Match: No you don't still look 42. You can change the birth year on your profile to 1973 and put up pictures from the Bush-era all you want but you're not fooling anyone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
[ - ] My 9 month old DB is totally delightful but very grabby- pulls hair, and grabs faces (hard!). All with happiness and exploration. Whenever she is playing with babies or toddlers, she has to be monitored constantly to keep from hurting them- more than any other babies I've seen. Is this totally normal and will pass or is she likely to be an aggressive toddler and kid? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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Totally normal. Some kids are just more aggressive than others. Just keep enforcing 'gentle' behavior and correcting her. This too shall pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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She may end up being athletic. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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This! Has been true of a couple of kids in our family. More physical, more aggressive, more sporty. Not the gentle, passive, smiling and pretty type. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. She is my first baby- so I don't know much, but she seems stronger than expected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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Awesome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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Is her index finger shorter than her ring finger? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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Normal. That's NOT aggression -- a 9 mo. old has zero cognitive ability to correlate this cause and this effect, to know that grabbing a human as tightly as she grabs her bottle causes pain (how could she know the concept "pain" is something that OTHERS experience too?), and doesn't have the motor feedback skills to know that "if I tense the muscles in this hand less, then the grip will be lighter". This will all come with repeated feedback, repeated "gentle, gentle", taking her little open hand and demonstrating a gentle touch. Emphasis on REPEATED feedback. She's an infant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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I have a 9 month old ds and he is exactly the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] My sister is very into a direct sales business and its almost like she has joined a cult and is trying to convert everyone around her. I feel like I cant say anything because it's "her new business" but she is brainwashed. Will this go away? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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^ sorry for the repost from last night. DB woke and I never got to check back and respond [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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My college friend does Vema. Drives me crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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haven't heard of that one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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so respect the business - give her lots of space to take care of her business, if she asks why you are distant...just let her know you don't want to get in the way of her new business [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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Is it that crazy ponzu scheme buy in natural product crap? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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I'd sure as heck say something. She isn't holding back from pushing her new business on everyone. Why not speak your mind? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Tell her you hate pyramid schemes and she should be aware of the risk of alienating friends who might feel the same way but not have the guys to tell her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Dealing with this now. I'm currently ignoring a text from someone who promises me they get "paid as part of their training per customer visit they successfully set up" so I don't have to buy anything, just take the meeting. I went through exactly this thing with someone's niece about 2 years ago, selling the same thing, and it took me forever to get rid of her. Everything was always, as a 'customer in good standing' (I purchased from them once) I could get X free if only they could show me Y, etc. I'm just pretending not to have seen the text at all, since the whole idea is to get me to respond so they can go launch into their pitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Why not be direct? Tell them you don't participate in pyramid schemes. Shame the hell out of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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It's a former teammate of one of my sons. Good kid, just trying to make a buck. But I really don't need any more knives :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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I doubt he will last long, few people do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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I have a friend selling this jewelry line, forgot the name. I went to a party she hosted and figured I would buy 2-3 things to support her business. Was surprised that many of the pieces were actually kind of cute. Then I asked the prices and was blown away. $150+++ for costume jewelry? I wasn't going to drop $450 on 3 cheap necklaces, you can find almost the exact same thing at charming Charlie. A necklace she had for $120 they had for $15! I still felt obligated to buy something but I bought one super overpriced pair of earrings for $34 (that I could have bought for $5 elsewhere). But, there is a fine line between supporting a friend and gouging a friend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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I had a friend who had a silpada party. I liked their stuff more than I thought I would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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np. jamberry nails looks cool. has anyone actually tried it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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It is the worst! I have essentially backed away from two friendships because I was sick of feeling like I was constantly being sold. SO annoying!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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Let me guess Arbonne or Rodan and Fields???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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OP: Rodan and fields [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Heading to our country house this weekend . Ideas for side dishes for bbq on the 4th? Tia 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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Lol. Nice troll post. You were able to get in country house, that you're hosting a party, all in 120 characters or less. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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np: Seriously? Calm down. If you are this prone to spazzing out based on two sentences, you need to figure out why you're so unhappy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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Op here and this. Just trying to set the stage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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np: so what? Are you cooking for a large group this weekend? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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I have people cooking for me. But I don't need validation from UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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She was asking for side dishes, not validation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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No, actually she was asking for approval and jealousy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Grilled corn on the cob, baked beans, potato salad, devilled eggs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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grilled corn, onions and basil salad; roasted peppers, feta, pine nuts and olive salad; grilled zucchini; and spreads ;-) Grilling pita bread with fresh ricotta/cracked pepper and honey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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These are good ideas. I'm also a fan of grilling eggplant, and topping it with a thin stream of a yogurt/garlic sauce and a thinner stream of pomegranate molasses/olive oil. A panzanella/bread and tomato salad is also great too. Corn/black bean/mango/red pepper type salad (cilantro, lime). White bean dip app. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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corn, potato or mac salad, roasted/grilled veggies, brown rice salad with veggies, mac cheese, baked beans (I use butter beans for something "different") caprese salad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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Grilled halloumi; grilled eggplant with yogurt, honey, and pomegranate seeds on top; simple green salad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
[ - ] BdB NYC, not even the dogs are safe now: 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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Weird. There was an armed home invasion near where I live about 2 weeks ago. The thieves took 2 purebred puppies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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OP See? Not even the puppies are safe now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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I know you are joking, but it does seem like that was planned. It bothered me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you think all hair salons are closed on Friday? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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Why don't you just call your hair salon and ask? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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Def not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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Since lots of people have events and dates on Fridays, that seems like it would be bad business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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mine is open [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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No. Just one where the owner wants their own hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] S/o. What information should I provide in my blurb on dating profiles? What do men want to know? Has to be short. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:33 PM Flag
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Something that somehow reflects who you are. Unless you are very average and uninteresting, don't say things like "good sense of humor" - stuff like that is irrelevant. You want to show your personality, not tell your personality. Likes, dislikes, hobbies - don't try too hard. You're trying to give people some early sense of "you" - that's all. Remember - its not about faking it or pretending to attract a man - its about showing your true self to find the needle-in-haystack who is right for you. (DH) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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Make sure you have a full length pic in there. A guy friend told me that once. Also, please do not include that pat line 'I'm just as comfortable in jeans and a t shirt as I am in a cocktail dress.' Ugh, I swear everyone puts that in there in some form. Be specific. It always helps me when I see that someone likes a specific show. If you like 'Parks and Rec'...we share the same sense of humor. If you listen to a lot of Celine Dion, then we're on different pages musically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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I have a full length pic on the beach doing a handstand. Feel like that's a pretty solid one. Also a few close ups with night and day makeup. But what about words? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Doing a handstand? Well that speaks volumes right there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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Ok nice try troll. Try again next time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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Not a troll. I have handstand pics on beaches all over the world. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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That's really sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:22 PM Flag
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Yikes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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I am very picky and will never be comfortable with you if you went to Duke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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biggest pet peeve - picking out dated photos - yeah I was cut and in great shape 10 years and 2 kids ago as well - we are dating the people we are now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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you gave me an idea: a photo with a current newspaper just like kidnapped people :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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that would actually show a great sense of humor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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DH here. A lot of guys would laugh and like the humor there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Women shouldn't have children without husbands but I suppose some get desperate. 107 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:31 PM Flag
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Husbands leave sometimes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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it is different if it is by fate or by design (they die also). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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And then what? The result is the same: a single mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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I post all the time that I don't want to bring children into this world without a father and UB tells me to do it anyway. I also am sad to say it is the absolute cheapest way to get a baby. Adoption, surrogacy, fostering is all so much harder than buying sperm or getting knocked up by a one night stand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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I wouldn't make such a big life decision based on UB. I would bet half of the women telling you to "just do it anyway" are actually married themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:36 PM Flag
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If you don't want to bring a child into this world without a father, then don't. What do you mean 'UB tells you to do it anyway'? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:36 PM Flag
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I've posted asking about experiences in these various situations. I've been told several times having my own baby alone will be the easiest option. I do think at the end of the day id rather have a child than a husband, if I could only choose one. I have a few years to decide though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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It's not the easiest option. Don't drink the kool-aid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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If you want to have a child and you are single, it is incredibly hard to adopt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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I meant raising a child alone isn't the easiest thing to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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It's 100% doable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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If you have a few years to decide, then I would recommend online dating like it's your F ing job. Don't waste time on guys who aren't marriage and kid minded. I am an SMC and having a kid on my own was the best thing I've ever done. But, that said, I would have preferred to do it with a partner. Unfortunately, that path didn't work out for me before the biological clock was putting off warning signals. Parenting alone can be great and is very rewarding. But if you still have time to find someone, get off your tush and go do it! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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This is the smartest post in the history of UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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nope, this is cruel and inhumane treatment; deny a child a father by design just to fulfill your 'mommy" desires is beyond selfish! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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This woman agrees with you. She says, when you are young join all the online dating sites and work hard to lock down a provider husband. She says only if that fails you should become single mom. I like her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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I'm so curious what happened to you that you have such strong feelings on this matter. Do you have some odd daddy issues? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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On the contrary, I've time and time again what a difference it makes having a nice and involved dad; to deny this (at least a chance) for selfish reasons is abhorrent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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This. And she's probably a bigoted, religious republican [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:07 PM Flag
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What are you feelings about gay couples having kids then? Do you just need 2 parents or do you need a mom and a dad? My guess is you think gay couples shouldn't be able to have kids then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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OP that is fine, it doesn't matter the gender of the parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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Wtf are you talking about? Is she not allowed to fulfill her biological role without a man beside her? Wtf? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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Ha! Well, thanks. I am the smartest poster in all of UB history...and also cruel and inhumane. Sounds about right! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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I'm trying!! Thanks!!how to determine marriage minded vs hookup? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Ily, good for you!! The women here are such bigots [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:05 PM Flag
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NP i think bringing a kid to this world without a father by design (and not by fate) is a very cruel and inhumane punishment, it is something that he/she will carry for the rest of his/her life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
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Hi Cruel and Inhumane Mom! Can I call you that? How about this scenario? I have a friend who had a baby on her own. When the baby was a year old, she met a wonderful man and then married him. Is she still cruel and inhumane? Or is she good because she found a stepdad for her child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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a single anecdote with a (supposedly) happy ending does not change the fact that her selfish act put the well being of her kid at risk of fate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Op. I grew up without a father. He died. I understand this and why I don't want to do that to my own child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:03 PM Flag
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You have issues [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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By whose fucking design? God's design? Your design? You're delusional [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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Not fair to the child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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Were you just feeling like randomly judging people this morning or did something set this off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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OP I pity a young girl on my building in this circumstance when we ride the elevator with our family (father/mom/2 dds) and her and her mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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wow just wow! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:44 PM Flag
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I agree with you; it is sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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NP SAVE YOUR PITY TO YOURSELF, CUNT! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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Hey, take your meds [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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This, wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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Well it definitely sounds like that's some crap going on with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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I agree but people are free to do what they please. Just don't complain about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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Agree with you but I would replace husband with "partner" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:34 PM Flag
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Poster above. I'd love to live with another single mother and coparent. I think this would be the best option for a single mom. Support is so important. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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Or - that, or a man you're not married to. I just believe that 2 patents are necessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:40 PM Flag
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PaRents not patents, duh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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and sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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We would babysit for each other so we can have sex with men outside the home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:10 PM Flag
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I think it's always easier and more helpful to have two parents, but the world is full of extremely successful individuals who were the product of single-parent households. Hey, like the President. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:37 PM Flag
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Even t?he president said it's better to be raised in a two - parent home so why use him as an example [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:39 PM Flag
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+100000000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:45 PM Flag
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trolllllllllllll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:52 PM Flag
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I think that's what I did say. It's better but not definitive of later success. Also, some parents die. In that case the overwhelming majority of advice says do NOT date or remarry before your existing children become adults. As long as your priority is your children, children can come out of 1 or 2 parent households and be quite successful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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OP didn't say they can't be successful. A kid growing up in foster care can be successful bit o's that the ideal situation? If you read any of Obama ' s books he definitely felt the "loss" of his father. People romanticize single motherhood too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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SMC here. I don't think anyone romanticizes single motherhood. Anyone I know who has chosen it has done so as a last resort. Everyone tried very hard to lock down a partner and it didn't work out. No one was dying to be a single mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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but went ahead with their selfish desires anyways. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:00 PM Flag
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Huh? My dad died when I was young. Granted I think my mom started dating WAY too soon. But to wait until I was an adult would have been unreasonable. I don't think it would be fair to her to have to be alone and not have companionship because my dad died. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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You're lucky that you had a good relationship with your eventual step parent, but by and large there are far more unhappy step parent relationships than happy ones. I'm glad it worked out for you, but it doesn't in a lot of other situations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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I agree. I don't support women having children on their own by design. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:43 PM Flag
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Then don't do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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In Portland (Oregon) it is affordable to rent a large house. Often three single moms and their kids will all rent a house together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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aka portlandia orgy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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The single moms take turns babysitting with one single mom staying home to babysit while the other two single moms go out to socialize [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:46 PM Flag
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pathetic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:49 PM Flag
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NP I can only imagine how this will screw up their dcs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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Kate & Allie! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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Explain [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Sigh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:55 PM Flag
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The social life for singles in Portland doesn't require money like it does in NY. Plenty of ultimate frisbee, bocce, hiking, etc. so single moms in portland do not feel marginalized the way they do in NY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:47 PM Flag
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When single moms share a house the kids always have plenty of other kids to play with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:48 PM Flag
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It has decimated the black community (amongst other things). It's never been a good idea. - a black mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:50 PM Flag
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NP this is the smartest post of this thread and the plain truth! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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Bigot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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Well, i care more about the black community than anyone, but many things that decimate the black community work out just fine for whites. For example, white women in Norway have plenty of kids out of wedlock and it works just fine. No social pathologies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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No you don't care about the black community more than anyone else. - OR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Yes i do. No white mom cares more than I do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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The black community has larger issues going on there. Like teenagers intentionally getting knocked up by guys who already have multiple children with other young women in order to bleed the welfare system. That's a whole different issue than a well-to-do 40 year old deciding she can live without ever having a husband, but not without having had a child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:54 PM Flag
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racist alert ^^^^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:57 PM Flag
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Um, I know black women who fit that demographic (mid to late 30s not 40s) and their kids still have issuse. Teenage pregnancy rates have plummeted in the black community since the 90s. At least use current stereotypes when you are trying to debate. Kids need fathers. - OR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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59% of black women have children with more than one man. That's pretty current. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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Yes but they're not teenagers. Isn't that what this thread is discussing -- single motherhood? For the record I don't think women should be having children out of wedlock period. But when you start throwing out the "teenage pregnancy" boogeyman I know you're just spouting stale talking points. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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^^OR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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2014. Iyanla Vanzant interviews 6 black men with 87 children between 50 different mothers. http://thegrio.com/2014/10/07/iyanla-vanzant-fix-my-life-6-men-87-children/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Idiot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:01 PM Flag
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I'm sorry you don't like facts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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Don't agree with the part about black women intentionally scamming the system for welfare purposes, but do agree that there are larger issues at play than having children out of wedlock. That's one aspect, but black community has also been plagued by crime and drugs in part due to lack of education and economic opportunities in addition to systemic discrimination and disenfranchisement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:09 PM Flag
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Black people have experienced systemic discrimination and disenfranchisement since we stepped foot in America yet most people from my parent's generation (Boomers) had two parent homes. They may have been poor but they were stable. Families are important. - OR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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This is because of the non existent support system we have in America, bigot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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I am black you idiot. The only support system you are every going to get in this country is your family. Wake up. - OR [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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Right because a kid is better off with a dad even if he is a piece of shit who is abusive to their mother and refuses to work. Think a bit more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:53 PM Flag
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this was not by design [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:58 PM Flag
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Do you believe nature has a designer too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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I agree that being a single mom is hard. I honestly don't think women should do this unless they have the means to do this alone (hiring help etc) and not completely relying on grandparents to help. I am all for single motherhood, but think both the child and mom suffer when they don't have the money to do it. Also think the kids don't get good habits when grandparents are raising them 50% of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:56 PM Flag
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In order to avoid racism, let's focus on well educated, emotionally healthy white women in this post. Should well educated emotionally healthy white women consider single motherhood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:02 PM Flag
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Why would race matter if all of the other factors were the same? Are you suggesting that there is something inherently superior about whiteness (since I think we can all agree that educated, and emotional healthy are inherently superior to th e or alternatives). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:08 PM Flag
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I think it is a huge trend right now in professional women in their late 30ies very early 40ies to have kids on their own. I know of 3 who have chosen to do this and 2 more who are trying to get pg (waited till 40 and it isn't as easy as UB makes it sound) I know it is hard for them but I think it is easier than being in an unhappy marriage or childless shrew [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
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Are you married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:24 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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The white women in my office that are single moms became single moms because their standards were too high, If they had aggressively pursued short skinny noce guys as husbands then these women would have husbands right now. Instead they pursued tall handsome guys and wound up single and had no choice but to single parent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:04 PM Flag
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T. H. I. S. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:06 PM Flag
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Well, according to op, they simply shouldn't exercise their right to procreate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:11 PM Flag
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For me it is mostly a financial issue. If I had a lot of $$ I would be perfect fine as a single mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:13 PM Flag
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I had a child by choice on my own. I was definitely not desperate. Had I been desperate, I would have married one of the guys I was seeing before I decided to have my child. But, I knew none of them were the person I should marry, and I did not believe that getting married just to have a child was fair to the child or either of us. I cannot imagine how awful I would feel if I were trapped in a bad marriage, and I am sure I would not be able to be a very good mother in such a circumstance. I always wanted to be a mother, had the means to have a child and was 40. Was it ideal? no. Would I have much preferred to have a child with a husband? yes. Is it always easy to go it alone? not at all. Do I regret it? not for a second. I would have had a hole in my heart if I had never been able to experience motherhood and had this amazing child, who is very happy, smart, and well-adjusted (in fact, more so than plenty of his contemporaries from 2 parent homes). But putting all of this aside, why does anyone care when I or anyone else chooses to do? Make your own decisions and don't worry about anyone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:15 PM Flag
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I think it takes a rational, strong, and determined woman to make a choice you made. I respect you a lot more than many married women who are supported by DHs and are often not great moms either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:18 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. Very kind of you to say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:23 PM Flag
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TOLERANCE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a cold/sore throat as a first sign of labor? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:30 PM Flag
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No. For me it meant the first sign of a cold. But hey I am no doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:31 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:12 PM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:38 PM Flag
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OP: I have read things about this.. was just curious if anyone else had experienced also. I realize it may sound like a dumb question. Thanks :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:41 PM Flag
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It doesn't sound dumb. I'm sure many of us can relate to obsessing about first signs of labor! Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:59 PM Flag
[ - ] So far this year I've dated more trans-men than regular men. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:22 PM Flag
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A little early for a troll post, isn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:32 PM Flag
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School is out for summer. Apparently this kid has no friends, no job, no girlfriend, and parents who clearly don't really care what he does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Dating divorced guy with kids. He admitted to me that wearing women's lingerie sometimes turns him on. Red flag? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:18 PM Flag
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only if he looks better in it than you do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:25 PM Flag
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Bruce/Caitlyn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:51 PM Flag
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Not necessarily; just make sure he doesn't stretch out your stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 01:59 PM Flag
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It is a red flag if that idea turns you off. It is a green flag if it turns you on. Only you know which is true. For me? Dealbreaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:17 PM Flag
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Stop trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.30.15, 02:25 PM Flag
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