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06.18.13, 05:04 AM
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What is your budget? Those neighborhoods are insanely expensive. SM only has good elementary schools and you have to check greatschools.org to see how good your zoned school is. Many people live in other areas and pay for private because it's actually cheaper.
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06.18.13, 05:19 AM
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Budget = $1.8 million. Is paying for private really cheaper? What is middle school / high school tuition like??
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06.18.13, 05:13 AM
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I know it's crazy but that budget buys you very little in those towns. I think MB is cheaper but I have very little familiarity with that area. K-12 costs more that k-6. The former starts at 25k and goes up to about 32k in high school. K-6 is about 20k. Beyondthebrochurela.com has a comprehensive list of private school tuition costs.
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06.18.13, 05:36 AM
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There are a few neighborhoods that you can get away with public elementary- Beverly Hills, Holmby hills, certain Sherman oaks schools. For highschool the only acceptable publics are manhattan beach (Mira costa), palisades or calabasas. Manhattan beach and calabasas are not really in LA. They are the polar opposite as far as type of people and type of homes. Mb is crowded, small beach properties. Calabasas is all new developments, more space but no character.
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06.18.13, 05:43 AM
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06.18.13, 05:01 AM
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Smell his dick as soon as he gets in the door!
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06.18.13, 04:56 AM
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Please tell me you know the song
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06.18.13, 05:08 AM
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How do you do that discreetly?
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06.18.13, 05:02 AM
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Lol
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06.18.13, 05:09 AM
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Smart men wash theirs.
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06.18.13, 05:05 AM
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Tell him you want him ASAP and get his reaction
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06.18.13, 05:03 AM
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Np - good one
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06.18.13, 05:10 AM
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Doesn't he have work in the am??? It's only 10:05 here and we are getting ready for bed
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06.18.13, 05:04 AM
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9:05 here not bedtime yet
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06.18.13, 05:11 AM
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Thought you said it was 1am?
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06.18.13, 05:27 AM
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Not op...
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06.18.13, 05:37 AM
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I'm a WOHM on a deadline and at work at 1:40. Nothing suspicious.
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06.18.13, 05:38 AM
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06.18.13, 04:55 AM
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Gotta say, I think you should choose a different school. CCD often starts earlier too. Rather than expecting them to change the schedule for me, I would find a program that was later. Or a tutor for Religious Ed.
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06.18.13, 05:18 AM
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06.18.13, 04:22 AM
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No, its not wrong to use daycare.
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06.18.13, 04:23 AM
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My son was born prematurely and as such we did not use daycare until he was over a year old. I worked part-time, he was cared for in my home by a grandparent or a friend. Once we got past the flu season and he turned 1, we enrolled him at the daycare where I work. He loves going to school and seeing his friends. I recently switched out of the lab and back into clinical nursing and I am working odd shifts, so he still goes, just not as often. I do not need to work, my husband makes more than enough to pay the bill and put money into our savings. I choose to work, I love my job. Financially, all the money I make goes straight to retirement, college funds and for me to spend at my discretion. My mom was a SAHM and my sister and I both went to preschool a couple of hours a week.
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06.18.13, 04:23 AM
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Are you serious?
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06.18.13, 04:17 AM
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Of course, why do you ask?
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06.18.13, 04:24 AM
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Because considering assistance so you can stay home is absurd. So what if you want to stay home, we all want a lot of things. Grow up.
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06.18.13, 04:19 AM
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So, it's not wrong to use daycare?
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06.18.13, 04:21 AM
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Yes, it's wrong, you're going to hell. What kind of a stupid question is that??
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06.18.13, 04:21 AM
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Then why do I feel so bad leaving him there, Like I should be the one caring for him?
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06.18.13, 04:30 AM
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I have no idea why you feel bad. You should feel bad about taking government assistance you don't need.
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06.18.13, 04:24 AM
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But I want to stay home with my son so badly, what do I do?
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06.18.13, 04:36 AM
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Lol, I know you're fake but I'll play. You suck it up like a grownup, sweet knees.
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06.18.13, 04:31 AM
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Not fake at all, dear. Thanks for the advice, God bless.
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06.18.13, 04:34 AM
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Of course this is fake. This isn't Mormon baby. But you have the lingo down well, so nice job!
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06.18.13, 04:43 AM
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Have you not found your place in religion, sweetie?
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06.18.13, 04:40 AM
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I found my place in the squirting thread down below, that will have to do.
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06.18.13, 04:40 AM
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My prayers are with you.
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06.18.13, 04:47 AM
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Do you know how many millions of children go to daycare? Women need lives too.
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06.18.13, 05:12 AM
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Why the fuck would it be wrong?
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06.18.13, 05:11 AM
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Because a child can be secure only in his mother's hands. It is written. Have you not learned to follow the letter of God?
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06.18.13, 05:22 AM
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I would stay home and go on GA. Get a job when DC is in K
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06.18.13, 05:38 AM
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Thank you! That's what I want to do! God Bless.
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06.18.13, 05:46 AM
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I had a horrific childhood. Daycare was a wonderful treat.
I loved it. Some of my happiest memories are daycare related.
I think it's a good idea, and a good way for your child to learn social skills. It sets a good example for him to see you paying down your debt.
Generally "government housing" projects are to be avoided at all costs. They are very, very, bad. I lived near one for 2 years and it was horrific.
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06.18.13, 04:24 AM
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No, it is not wrong for you work or to use daycare. If you wish to stay home with your child, there are ways to do so...but it takes much sacrifice. Living off of government assistance should not be an option, however. Government assistance is for those that cannot do for themselves, not those that can and just wish to take advantage. I have been a stay at home mom for 23 years and God in His great mercy has always provided.
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06.18.13, 04:19 AM
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I'm sorry for your heartache. It must be very difficult to not be able to be with your son all day, every day. Essentially, I agree with the poster before me. The thing to do is look at Biblical principles. Having debt is something God has a lot to say about--we are a slave to the lender. Unfortunately, their are consequences to our sin, and when we've spent money in a way we shouldn't, that means having to do what we'd rather not, while the wrongs are 'righted'. Going on government assistance would be wrong so you could be home with your child. It isn't a higher principle to live off others so you can do that. There is no magic, we're in a mess in this nation financially and a big part of that is this notion that God is the government, so people don't work to support themselves, they expect others to work to support them, which is not biblical when it's forced on us.
Biblically, you should pay off your debt while tithing (10% of your gross income), and then pray for guidance on how to live in a way that your husband can provide for you so you can stop working. Larry Burkett wrote a book years ago entitled "Women Leaving the Workplace". In it, he recommends living for 6 months on your husband's income before you (the wife) quit working to ensure it can really happen. You should also have a little savings before quitting--some suggest $1000 emergency fund. Good budgeting is a biblical principle--and it will take you time to get to that point.
Ideally, God's design for the family is for the husband to be the priest, provider and protector and for the wife to be a 'keeper at home'. That doesn't mean she doesn't bring in any income though. Ask Him for guidance on how to make the changes needed, but do tithe. We are told to trust God in the faithfulness of that. It is the one area He says for us to test Him~don't rob Him.
Perhaps you will need to move to a state that is more single-income friendly, or to a different area...renting instead of owning, going to one car, getting rid of cable or cell phones...drastic things in today's society.
God bless your efforts and I hope He will give you solutions sooner rather than later. If you do things His way, He will not disappoint!
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06.18.13, 04:22 AM
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What?
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06.18.13, 04:30 AM
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I just got an instant headache....holy thump.
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06.18.13, 04:31 AM
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I think you're in the wrong place.
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06.18.13, 04:25 AM
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Exactly, I feel somehow dirty.
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06.18.13, 04:28 AM
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Ditto
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06.18.13, 05:39 AM
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op: Thanks for all the helpful advice. We did give up cable about two years ago, and we have Netflix now. We are trying to sell our house and move into a rent house that my in-laws own. It will save us $500 a month. We aren't members of a church right now. We have been visiting my mom's church and I really like it, but not sure if my husband likes it as much as I do. When we start going somewhere regularly we will start tithing. When we move we are going to start really paying our debt down.
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06.18.13, 04:27 AM
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Praying for the best for you and your family.
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06.18.13, 04:38 AM
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Condescending. Fuck off
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06.18.13, 05:39 AM
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For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.
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06.18.13, 05:50 AM
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You are out if your freakin' mind.
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06.18.13, 04:34 AM
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Daycare in itself is absolutely not wrong. After all, Moses' mother had to set him in a river and trust him to God, and then let the Pharoh's daughter raise him, because that is what was best for him. I know that's kind of a long shot from your situation , but the point is that God allows us to let other people help in raising our children when we have to.
However, God does convict some specific people to stay home with their kids and not work. If you feel convicted about it, it could be because your specific calling is to stay home with your son. Pray about it. God will make it clear to you. He will provide all of the money needed to make whichever choice He leads.
If you are planning on homeschooling in a few years and just need to work right now in order to make that happen, I'd say that is a good plan (but again, I am not God and don't know what He is leading you to do). When your son is grown up and looks back on the 12+ years that you were home with him homeschooling him, he is not going to look and be upset about those 3-ish years (that he will probably barely remember) where you had to sometimes leave him at daycare.
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06.18.13, 04:38 AM
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I know I am led to homeschool him when the time comes, it's just getting us to a place where we can make that happen. I'm going to be praying about it and trusting God about this. Thanks for the advice!
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06.18.13, 04:39 AM
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Hope you are having fun writing to yourself!
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06.18.13, 04:41 AM
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Who are you talking to?
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06.18.13, 04:48 AM
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I'm in debt because of getting my PhD. Did I sin by doing this?
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06.18.13, 05:06 AM
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Hello, 1950? "My husband doesn't make enough to support us." Seriously? Why don't you make more money? Quit your job and try to get government assistance?
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06.18.13, 04:36 AM
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So you think that would be alright then?
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06.18.13, 04:37 AM
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Nothing you said is all right.
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06.18.13, 04:38 AM
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If you could explain and help I would much appreciate and I will pray for you.
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06.18.13, 04:36 AM
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You just went over the top. Thanks for the laugh.
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06.18.13, 04:45 AM
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Do you have any advice or am I here just to make you laugh?
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06.18.13, 04:45 AM
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Regular daycare I'd be more iffy about (my grandmother worked in one a few years ago and had some stories she could tell!) but a home daycare ... if you trust the woman and know her well, I think it's fine. My mother does home daycare and has my entire life. We all still remember all the kids we had for any real length of time and my mother has kept in touch with several of the parents even after the kids went to school or someone moved. In your home like that, the kids practically become part of the family.
If it's something you need to do now to homeschool later, I really think it's fine. Honestly, IMHO, public schools are to the point where if you can homeschool, you need to, thought I do understand that some people can't or just really aren't cut out for it. My siblings were in public school for a while, but my mom pulled them out when we moved and she has no intention of putting them back in now. I spent most of my life homeschooled and if you can be really involved in a church and find a good homeschool group, that's plenty of "socializing."
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06.18.13, 04:37 AM
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I question the sincerity of this post. Unless someone is impersonating the OP in the discussion
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06.18.13, 04:44 AM
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OP is having a conversation with herself.
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06.18.13, 04:45 AM
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Ohh I knew something was off...
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06.18.13, 04:43 AM
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No, but I do thank the ones giving out such helpful advice, bless you all!
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06.18.13, 04:50 AM
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Why is it that your original post had no God references, and all of a sudden you became a holy roller.
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06.18.13, 04:53 AM
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God is always with us, didn't think it was important until someone else mentioned what a blessing he is. Have you found God?
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06.18.13, 04:52 AM
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Was He lost?
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06.18.13, 05:11 AM
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Not in the least, are you?
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06.18.13, 05:15 AM
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You asked if I found God. Not everyone needs to be born again. Some of us never thought God was lost!
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06.18.13, 05:19 AM
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^. Collapsing this and going to bed. You win you nut job.
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06.18.13, 05:20 AM
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I pray you have sweet dreams.
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06.18.13, 05:20 AM
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I was saved while reading the bible during a crisis experience. It was over a few days, reading the bible because I felt lonely and bitter and needed to find something in life that was real and not hollow. I pray you find your salvation someday soon.
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06.18.13, 05:30 AM
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What section of scripture jumped out at you and opened your eyes to salvation?
How did you think you should respond?
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06.18.13, 05:31 AM
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I started by reading proverbs and psalms. Then I continued reading the New Testament, starting with the Gospel of Matthew. I just saw that the words I was reading had power in them, that they were real and not hollow. I think I responded by believing in the power of God to save and heal. And I kept wanting to read more and more and learn more of God and His word.
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06.18.13, 05:32 AM
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I was 8 years old and attending Daily Vacation Bible School at my church. My teacher, Mrs. Martin, after the mornings Bible story and craft time, just before recess, would ask if anyone wanted to ask Jesus into their heart.
Toward the end of the week, for some reason (I now know the reason I stayed, thank you Holy Spirit!!!!!), I stayed and prayed with her. Now, you have to understand, the big concern for me at the time was to get into the Kool-aid and cookie line as soon as possible so that I could get two of the "good cookies" (the chocolate ones), which always went first. But I stayed with her and prayed. I don't remember the prayer, but I knew something had changed.
When I left the classroom and ran toward the cookie line, I felt like I was running on air - as if I was a foot or two off the ground. All the chocolate cookies were gone, but the vanilla cookies tasted even better than the chocolate ones that day (and I don't care for the flavor of vanilla).
I know this may sound like a simplistic and "childish" response to becoming a new creation in Christ, but I still remember to this day - almost 40 years later - how I felt "lighter than air" when my sins were covered by the Blood of Christ!!!!!!
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06.18.13, 05:33 AM
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omg take your meds
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06.18.13, 05:40 AM
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I'm sorry, I question your motives for not helping.
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06.18.13, 04:46 AM
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Daycare in and of itself isn't bad, but you need to be very selective in where you send your child. I've worked in daycare for quite a while and while there are some absolutely wonderful and loving people who work in daycare, there are also not nice people. I highly suggest doing research and asking around about the centers you consider. Don't be afraid to ask the workers/teachers questions and try to spend as much time there as you can. A good teacher loves involved parents.
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06.18.13, 04:48 AM
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I want to throw another alternative out there. I've been a mortgage loan processor for about 25 years. At times over the course of our married life, my husband and I tried to ensure we were in a position for him to be the primary breadwinner, but for whatever reason, it just never really worked. At the last place I worked, I did not make a secret of the fact I wanted to work from home at some point. I believed I could have everything I would need to be an effective processor, even outside the office. At the tail end of 1997, a loan officer I had known called me and asked me to come to work for him. He wanted me in his office 2 days a week and I could work 2 days a week from home. At the time my daughter was four. I told my then employer of the offer and they asked for a couple of days to see if they could beat the offer and they did. They allowed me to work full-time from home, and I was able to remove my daughter from daycare. I did that for about a year and my employer sold the business and the new people didn't need me. I collected unemployment and worked part-time for a year or so. I worked at a Kindercare facility for 10 weeks and then I worked part-time for a small non-profit. One night at the beginning of 2001 I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes and I said a prayer. I told God I had absolutely no prospects for anything and I needed him to help me find a job. The next morning I got a call from the same loan officer who asked me to work for him 2 years prior and I started doing contract processing from my home. I've been doing that ever since. My daughter is graduated from high school, but I have a six year old son. I worked at home full-time and took care of him, too. God has provided for us in some many ways through my business. When my husband was laid off for almost 18 months, God increased my business to be able to take care of the four of us and I was able to supplement my husband's unemployment. He took a huge hit to his income after his lay-off. Fortunately, we didn't include all the bonuses my husband received in his line of work as part of our monthly income, and we used those mostly for larger expenses or home improvement. Otherwise the hit would have been worse. I can look back and see how God provided and all the blessings he bestowed on us through my business and continues to do so. Perhaps a part-time work from home job would be workable for you. There are many reputable avenues to explore for part-time work you can do from home. I pray Godspeed for you as you move to a new chapter in your life.
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06.18.13, 04:49 AM
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I love this. So encouraging, and you've reminded us that He is God our Provider!
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06.18.13, 04:49 AM
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We make sacrifices for our kids all the time.
We do have to be careful we don't sacrifice the kids in the process.
It sound like you have good goals - clear the debt, prepare to homeschool.
Something every working mom needs to consider: am I doing it for ME or the family.
Sometimes when you add up the cost: clothing, meals, vehicle expenses + daycare, you may just find you're digging a deeper financial hole.
Do a little bookkeeping and you should be able to see if your working is helping or not.
It is a tough economy and sometimes the wife works so to have benefits - medical, even though the husband's wages provide the rest.
Just take time to look at your real needs vs your wants.
And plan for your child's future as well as you own.
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06.18.13, 04:53 AM
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EXCELLENT advice!!
My husband and I decided long before we married (some 25 years ago now) how we would raise our kids. I would stay at home with them. I wear several hats, I am a wife, mom to three (one of who is special needs), Homeschooling teacher, and a small business owner.
Since 2000 I have built my own residential cleaning biz. This business has allowed me to schedule my work around my kids lives, and even allowed me to take my littlest one with me when I needed too. Now that my kids are older (my oldest dd is 19 and attending an out of state university, 17 ds, 15 dd). We struggled and scrimpt by, we are all but debt free. I employee two part-time workers, one of whom is my 17 year old ds. I wouldn't change our lives for a minute, I did work outside of the home for three months and it was horrible.
I know cleaning homes isn't for everyone, but I am at the point now where I am turning away clients almost weekly. I am always amazed that people pay me (roughly $30 an hour); I could never get that from working for someone else, but God blessed me with a way to be a stay at home mom, have something that I built and cultivated, and taught my kido's. God has truly blessed our family!
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06.18.13, 04:53 AM
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This is such a controversial subject, because it really hits women at the core of who God made us. God made us to want to nurture our children, but sometimes circumstances in life prohibit that for a season. I know, from personal experience, how hard that is. I missed a lot of my son's baby and toddler years, because I had to work outside the home. In 2006, I told my husband I wanted to quit my job and be at home with my son. He agreed to that. We've had our fair share of struggles, but he has never asked me to go back to work. During harder times, I have taken jobs through the computer and worked from home.
The Bible never says it is a sin to put a child in daycare. Do I feel families benefit more from the mother being home with her children? Of course. I believe that is the optimal family design. With that said, it's not always possible. You're doing the right thing by working to pay off a debt. It would be more of a sin to let your children go hungry or without electricity in the home or take government assistance when you are able bodied and capable of making a living financially. I think the only time putting a child in daycare would be a sin would be in the case of women who are financially able to stay home, but don't want to because they hate being around their children. God looks upon the heart, and if a woman's heart is selfish and rebellious and that's why she wants to rely on daycare, that is a whole different story. Clearly you have a heart to be home, but know it isn't possible right now. You are working hard to be able to stay home some day, and that is a wonderful thing. Take comfort in knowing you are taking care of your family and that you aren't in error by having to use a childcare provider right now. My prayer is that you will get that debt paid off and you will be able to have your heart's desire to be home with your child.
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06.18.13, 04:56 AM
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So, are men going to hell if they could afford to stay home with the kids and don't?
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06.18.13, 05:13 AM
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Not at all, as men are the providers. It is written.
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06.18.13, 05:10 AM
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Well honestly I don't recommend any mother to a day care center... there are few reasons why I am not recommending daycare center..
The main issue is security.. a child can be secure only in his mother's hands. because anyone can't care the child like mother.
Lack of attachment of children to their mothers. This is also a big issue that when your child spend his early years in a daycare center then he don't have much attachment to mother because he don't know how to treat the mother and how to respond the mother. So these things are very important for me, I don't know they are also important for you or not.
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06.18.13, 04:58 AM
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I don't agree with you.
My brother died in his crib with my mother watching him.
It's also awfully judgmental to make statements like that. It looks like you are attacking her, and I'm sure you don't want to be perceived that way.
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06.18.13, 04:59 AM
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Have you not yet realized that many who claim to be Christian are nothing like Christ? The true Christians I know are not judgmental at all.
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06.18.13, 05:14 AM
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"a child can be secure only in his mother's hands." OH, please. Go back to your 50s lifestyle and/or convent.
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06.18.13, 05:14 AM
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My mother, who is some Seventy Seven plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.
When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat the more I wondered if she was okay. Finally, not really wanting to disturb her, but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked if she was okay.
She raised her head and looked at me and smiled.
"I didn't mean to disturb you, Mom," I said, "But you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"
I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them.
I turned them over, palms up and then palms down.
"No, I guess I have never really looked at my hands," I answered.
Mother smiled at me and said in a sweet, clear voice:
"I've been thinking about these hands I have and how they have served me well through-out my years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.
They dried the tears of my children and caressed the love of my life. They held my young husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were firm, yet gentle, when I held my newborn son.
Decorated with my wedding band, they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They replied to the letters written home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and watched as my daughter walked down the aisle.
Yet, they were strong and sure when I grabbed my child and jerked her away from danger when a car was going too fast, and they clasped my children lovingly for stitches, broken bones, and measles.
They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body, and those of my family. From the day a new baby was born, to the day I washed my first love's body and prepared him for his final viewing.
They have been sticky, wet, bent, broken, dried, and raw. To this day when not much of anything else of me works real well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I've been and the richness of my life.
But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home.
And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."
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06.18.13, 05:29 AM
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God Bless Christian Mothers!
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06.18.13, 05:33 AM
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omg this HAS to be a joke. This whole thread - Christians going on welfare, god finding them a job -- it is just insanity
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06.18.13, 05:48 AM
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Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. Can good Christians not be helped along the way?
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06.18.13, 05:53 AM
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Ah, OK, it is fake. Thanks for the laugh
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06.18.13, 05:47 AM
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A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
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06.18.13, 05:34 AM
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The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
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06.18.13, 05:35 AM
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06.18.13, 04:19 AM
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we give nominal $$ for student teacher.after all, she came 2-3 days.wk, and ended a month early, probably started late, too.
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06.18.13, 04:24 AM
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Thanks.,our classes have never done group gifts so I get them something on my own. I never know when the student teachers last day is, so I hate to get a gift and then send it after she has left. My child is not that helpful with teacher info
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06.18.13, 04:44 AM
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Different. Much more to teacher and nominal gift to student teacher, unless your DC had a really close connection with student teacher.
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06.18.13, 04:57 AM
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06.18.13, 04:05 AM
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^UB not UN lol
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06.18.13, 04:06 AM
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Acronym girl, could you speak English?
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06.18.13, 04:09 AM
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Np: ONS- One night stand FWB-friends with benefits. Seriously these are not new, especially on UB
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06.18.13, 04:12 AM
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NP: ONS is one night stand, though I rarely see it abbreviated. FWB is friends with benefits, often abbreviated. Maybe OP thought she was sending a text. :)
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06.18.13, 04:06 AM
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Op here: didn't know these abbreviations were that "out there"
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06.18.13, 04:18 AM
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have no idea what you are talking about
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06.18.13, 04:11 AM
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Lol
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06.18.13, 04:41 AM
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I have a friend who met her DH on craigslist missed connections. It's safe to say this happens, but I don't think you should go into a FWB situation expecting the guy to change his mind. That is a recipe for getting hurt.
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06.18.13, 04:11 AM
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*casual encounters, not missed connections
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06.18.13, 04:11 AM
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UB is prudish sometimes, though I think some of these women have very selective memories. If you go on a place like WeddingBee, you'll see threads where plenty of engaged and married women say they slept with their future husbands very early or casually at first.
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06.18.13, 04:05 AM
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That's interesting! Maybe its also a generational thing...
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06.18.13, 04:18 AM
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A lot of UB women were drugged out back then. They don't REALLY remember when they first slept with dh!
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06.18.13, 04:19 AM
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Bahahah
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06.18.13, 04:28 AM
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Yes it is odd. Nothing I'd be proud of and certainly nothing that I would ever discuss in polite company. What's your fake story that you tell the outside world?
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06.18.13, 04:06 AM
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We tell them the truth-that we met at a bar. Generally people don't follow that up with "well did you f*** him?"
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06.18.13, 04:17 AM
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ha. +1
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06.18.13, 04:13 AM
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You sound smug and proud of this.
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06.18.13, 04:21 AM
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Oh dear. Here come the old prunes - I mean, prudes. She asked a question. How does she sound proud?
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06.18.13, 04:16 AM
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Lol
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06.18.13, 04:27 AM
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Um why the hell would I be smug" about this? I'm just curious. Not like I said I met my DH sailing
off the coast of Barbados with my sorority sisters Toni and Tiffani
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06.18.13, 04:23 AM
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Lol
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06.18.13, 04:42 AM
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np: How so? Explain.
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06.18.13, 04:20 AM
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06.18.13, 03:52 AM
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fwiw, the stove looks like this and seems to be in decent shape already: http://www.antiquegasstoves.com/images/okm36chrome/stove.gif
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06.18.13, 04:01 AM
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so cute! I would first see how well it works -- bake a cake or bread and also a roast or something. If it is in good working order, and you like cooking with it, then I say $5K seems well worth it for something unique and well-made and beautiful. good luck! jealous you have a new apt!
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06.18.13, 04:14 AM
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My friend used to have a unit like that in her old apartment in Stuy Town. It looks cute but the oven was completely and utterly useless. Make sure you can fit things in the oven. You will never be making a turkey in that thing.
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06.18.13, 04:17 AM
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op: good point. I need to check what would fit in it. It's 40" wide so it's not the most petite version of a double oven. I feel like it would still fit a mid-size turkey but this will take some experimenting...
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06.18.13, 04:19 AM
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IIRC, those models only have one oven. The 2 doors on the left and the lower one on the right are not ovens, but warming chambers. So you are left with one tiny oven with no window. This is an appliance whose time is done.
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06.18.13, 04:29 AM
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^^^Like this: http://www.antiquegasstoves.com/pages/okm36chrome.html
The left 2 doors are actually one warming unit, the upper right is an oven and the lower right is a broiler. Useless!
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06.18.13, 04:32 AM
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Don't let it go! First research what you'd put in its place - good gas stoves can easily cost more than that. If you decide you want to replace it w/something cheaper, sell the old one on ebay, people collect them.
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06.18.13, 03:55 AM
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op: thanks! I'm going to shop around the different restoration business and see what they think. I want to keep it, but 5k would be 1/5 of our kitchen reno budget and we still have to buy a fridge and a dishwasher--and cabinets and counters and labor. Maybe if it could be restored for 3000 I could justify keeping it...the stove may be my favorite thing about the apartment.
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06.18.13, 04:04 AM
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Aww if it's your favorite thing, make it work! I would get several quotes if you can, someone is bound to be less than 5k
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06.18.13, 04:47 AM
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Do those side by side doors open to one big oven or two little ones? I'd be concerned about fitting dishes in if it's the latter
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06.18.13, 04:16 AM
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We had to do this. Terrific vintage double-stove, would have been a fortune to fix. Wanted to keep it just as a piece of furniture. Alas. Still sad that it's gone, though I love my new kitchen.
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06.18.13, 04:17 AM
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we had a stove like that! It was a rental, and it was part of what sold me on the apartment. Don't sell it! I remember reading a story about someone on the east coast who ended up flying out a repair guy from California (where they have a lot of these vintage stoves) to fix her stove. He flew out and back the same day, and it was still cheaper than getting it done locally.
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06.18.13, 04:14 AM
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op: interesting...the "full restoration" quote I got is from The Stove Lady in Westchester. Possibly the most expensive option out there? It's so pretty. Like a vintage car.
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06.18.13, 04:29 AM
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Our 1920s house came with almost the same stove. The sellers wanted to keep it, but it was too heavy to move easily and the kitchen renovation had been done around the stove. We had someone service it for a Cooke of hundred dollars. A person so specializes in antique stoves. H said to would outlast the house. Not every aspect of it works, like I think there is a warmer component that doesn't work. We don't cook or bake a lot, and mostly use the stove top. But love the stove!
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06.18.13, 04:55 AM
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Also, we googled our stove and they sell for a lot. More than we would ever spend for a new one.
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06.18.13, 04:56 AM
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06.18.13, 03:42 AM
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TIA for your ideas and reax!
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06.18.13, 03:43 AM
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One night with dh
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06.18.13, 03:45 AM
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My DH is cute but I don't think it will work out. And if you meant with nanny -- she is close to the age of his mother! Put that image in your head and then try to forget it!
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06.18.13, 03:51 AM
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I 'd say ending in August will make it easier for her to find another family.
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06.18.13, 03:39 AM
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I WOH and school doesn't start until second week of Sept so I can't take 2 weeks vacation off to be with the kids during the transition.
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06.18.13, 03:49 AM
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I think your first suggestion is better. Second leaves too much grey area. Why wouldn't she just say she found another job after a couple of weeks since you will continue to pay her until the Dec date anyway? Too much room for hard feelings and resentment. Along with the severence, do whatever you can to help her find a new full time position - that's going to be the biggest help to her.
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06.18.13, 03:53 AM
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all good points. Sounds like you have a lot of experience. thanks! does 10 weeks severance sound fair for 7 years-8 years work? I just realized it will be about 7 yrs, 8 months in Sept.
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06.18.13, 03:59 AM
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Sounds really generous and appropriate. If he does not find something, will she be able to collect unemployment?
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06.18.13, 03:56 AM
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^^she
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06.18.13, 03:57 AM
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actually, yes! I completely forgot about that. what I look forward to more than anything is no more quarterly employer tax filings!!! I did them myself to save money and it was mostly easy -- but just getting myself to sit down and do the task 4 times a year -- ugh.
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06.18.13, 04:02 AM
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I think it is fine as long as you give her ample notice that this is your plan so she can put her feelers out and hopefully get something in place before severence runs out.
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06.18.13, 04:10 AM
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Sounds like you're being really generous. September is a great time to look for a nanny job.
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06.18.13, 04:14 AM
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3 months severance.
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06.18.13, 05:04 AM
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06.18.13, 03:36 AM
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That is a lie
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06.18.13, 03:37 AM
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Where you at
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06.18.13, 03:50 AM
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People who get it wrong are such loosers.
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06.18.13, 03:31 AM
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Yes, they are morans
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06.18.13, 03:38 AM
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Their loosers
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06.18.13, 03:39 AM
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you mean irish?
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06.18.13, 03:39 AM
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No, you know.. Moranic. Dum.
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06.18.13, 03:46 AM
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For all intensive purposes, it's really not a big deal.
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06.18.13, 03:33 AM
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Where you at
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06.18.13, 03:41 AM
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Intensive purposes per se
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06.18.13, 03:47 AM
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Ostensibly, it's horrid.
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06.18.13, 03:48 AM
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I think so to
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06.18.13, 03:41 AM
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Why would you axe me that
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06.18.13, 03:40 AM
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To see how sharp your tool is.
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06.18.13, 03:40 AM
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OP here - thanks all - needed a laugh!
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06.18.13, 03:41 AM
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No one cares about you, go lay down like a good little doggie.
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06.18.13, 04:09 AM
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It's time for you to get some real problems
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06.18.13, 03:41 AM
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It's a peeve. An annoyance. I hope I am allowed to have those in addition to any "real" problems I may have.
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06.18.13, 03:45 AM
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My ass hurts
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06.18.13, 03:46 AM
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Awe
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06.18.13, 03:49 AM
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Oh , shush
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06.18.13, 03:49 AM
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Want to come over to DH and I's house?
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06.18.13, 03:47 AM
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I am going to berry my dog
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06.18.13, 03:49 AM
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Mines is still alive
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06.18.13, 03:49 AM
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I tell her Lay down and she don't listen
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06.18.13, 03:52 AM
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She be coming home
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06.18.13, 03:53 AM
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I have a nack for gettin' stuff right.
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06.18.13, 03:55 AM
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I have a nack for gettin' stuff right.
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06.18.13, 03:55 AM
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That is the only one I have trouble with.
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06.18.13, 03:56 AM
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Hens lay eggs, people lie down.
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06.18.13, 04:04 AM
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Dogs take craps, you're a piece of crap.
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06.18.13, 04:17 AM
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It depends. You lay a glass on the table but you lie down on a bed, for example.
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06.18.13, 04:04 AM
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Not necessarily. Lay is the past tense of lie, so if someone said "He lay down for a nap an hour ago" - that would be technically correct - but I just learned this by googling it, so who knows.
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06.18.13, 04:50 AM
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06.18.13, 03:30 AM
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I see a resemblance there. Not exactly but they could be sisters or cousins.
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06.18.13, 03:38 AM
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Lydia being the busted looking cousin
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06.18.13, 03:40 AM
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lol
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06.18.13, 03:40 AM
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LOL
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06.18.13, 03:41 AM
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A crystal meth smoking cousin
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06.18.13, 04:49 AM
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+1
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06.18.13, 03:42 AM
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Is Lydia the newish one with the horsey teeth?
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06.18.13, 03:56 AM
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Yes'm
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06.18.13, 04:07 AM
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Denise Richards with a thyroid problem, maybe.
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06.18.13, 04:48 AM
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