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[ - ] Lawyer moms - what is my obligation to report that a fellow associate is excessively padding billing? She is a friend but situation is over the top. I know for a fact that she's lying to the tune of 50% and it's killing me that she's getting away with it. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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How do you know she doesn't work at home? This is very difficult to prove. BTW, most partners monitor billing and know who is and is not efficient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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MYOB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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OP, I know, I know. I haven't said anything to anyone. But it's stealing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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If the clients are willing to pay, then the firm doesn't really care. It's only when there is pushback from clients. Shitty for all of you, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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I was going to say this exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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It's contingency work so no client reviewing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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How do you know for sure and what type of work? Thst is a huge %. she may just be slow and she may also be a chatty Kathy who logs in at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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I know the work product was short and easy and she billed more than 40 hours for it on days I know she was doing other (personal) things. And it's part of a long pattern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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I would report it to a partner. This kills me as I'm an AGC and it's my worst nightmare with firms, which is why I now rely on AdvanceLaw to ensure this kind of nonsense doesn't happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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What is AdvanceLaw? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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You are dreaming if you think Advance Law can stop it? Do you work there? LMAO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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spam? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Have you purchased your kids name as a url? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Is it 20 bucks a year or something? I want to get mine, but I wish it were a bit cheaper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I fight almost once a month. Topic of fight is mostly his family. I have lots of issues with in-laws. DH accuse me for all the problems. Today he called me a liar and told me that he can never trust on my words. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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I was you just a year ago. the beginning of our marriage started off with fights about his family. I went to marriage counseling and at one point honestly thought we were headed for divorce. The only thing i can tell you that helped us was DH finally realized what his family was doing to me, to us. He started standing up for me, we started to communicate better and luckily for us this year we were able to move away bc of DH's job. GL OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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what's with the ILs? Did you have these problems with them before you were married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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No. It started after marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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No. It started after marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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Take English classes to improve communication. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there some towns in Westchester/ Connecticut that have large expat communities? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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I only know for sure about ridgefield ct [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Oh really? Why -- is there a large international school or foreign-based business there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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No, I know many British there though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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White Plains has a German school, and there used to be a French school in Larchmont. There's a Japanese school somewhere in Westchester, as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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The French school bought the old Ridgeway Country Club and will be moving there. I think over time, White Plains will be home to a lot of expats. The schools in WP are not great, but if your kids are going to the French or German schools, IMHO, you get more house for your money there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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The Japanese are in Scarsdale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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???Keio Acadamy is in Purchase, also, one in Ardsley [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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My understanding is that Scarsdale has a decent size expat community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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Larchmont is full of Brits and French. So many that they only socialize within their own communities [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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Larchmont for French. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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There is a fairly large French community in Larchmont due to the French American School. I think it might be moving, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] If your DH were bi-sexual would this be a deal breaker? I think it would be for me, however my DH said that if were bi, it wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker for him. We were discussing why this double standard exists. Thoughts? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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it is a double standard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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The difference between the lesbian porn he's thinking of and you thinking of his dick in another guy's asshole [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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straight-forward and to the point. correct. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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Of course it wouldn't be a deal-breaker for him - that's *the* classic heterosexual male fantasy! Of course, that's because they picture bisexual women being busty blondes who really want him in the middle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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Yeah but see if he is ok with a butch dike truck driver named Morgan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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no, because if he's going to cheat i don't care who with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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I don't mean cheating, I just mean if you knew he was bi-sexual before you got married, would you continue the relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Help! Packing for 4 to go skiing. We are flying. Have so much bulky stuff with gloves, ski socks, hats, snow pants. Any suggestions on how to keep it manageable? Its our first ski trip. TIA 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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ship it fedex or rent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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+1 to Fedex [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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First of all--Use your airline's Sky-Cap along the curb outside of where you check in. Give him your ski tube/boot bags and checked luggage. You do NOT want to have to wait in line inside dragging that stuff along. Always stuff ski-related things in the boot-bags. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Have kids where their ski coats. If you are staying somewhere with a washer dryer/ that helps. We tend to bring 4/5 base layer tops per person, and rinse them out, and two two three base layer bottoms per person. 4/5 pair ski socks per person. Kids re-wear their non ski bottoms and we bring enough shirts/underwear for each night. 2/3 fleeces per person. At least once pair of extra gloves per person if they get wet. If you re staying somewhere with a hot tub, then bathing suits and sandals. We are able to pack for two teenagers and two adults in about one bag person person, plus a bag for our skis. Our kids rent their equipment, but own their helmets(which you should absolutely have for your children). Hope this helps. We have paired down what we bring over the years for this reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Repost. List ways to lose 2 lbs a week. Can include fasting, eliminating something, a specific diet, a specific exercise or sport to take up, more frequent sex, etc. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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I've been using Myfitnesspal to log everything I've eaten in the past 2 weeks (thanks UB for that suggestion!) and I've lost 4 pounds so far. I was skeptical but it really does seem to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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How does it accurately track how many calories are in what you eat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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You can look up the foods on the app. I do that, and I also look online to get a consensus. Of course it's easy with supermarket foods because the info is all right there on the package. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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MyFitness Pal totally works. I lost 60 in less than a year. Moderate exercise included- 30-45 min 3 times a week (was doing 10 to 20k steps a day.) It works by you measuring food portions (grams, cups, etc.) and logging it. Stay at a reasonable cal limit- 1500 worked for me. My doctors were aghast and asked me how I did it... Old school. I said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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Fast 5. It's fasting all but 5 consecutive hours a day. When I read up on it, they said you don't lose weight for 3 weeks as your body adjusts. Then you lose a pound a week. But I've lost three pounds a week since I started two weeks ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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I've done this with the 8 Hour Diet. The hours were easy for me...5 sounds tough! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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OR: For some reason, the hours aren't hard for me. But I'm also not restricting what I can eat during the 5 hour period. So what I'm kind of ending up doing is planning a meal that I really want during that period and it's maybe not the healthiest (spaghetti and meatballs, thai take out). So I think because I'm splurging during my eating window, I'm kind of satisfied. Kind of surprised that I've lost weight so far. I'm going to try to shift it so that I'm eating healthier during my window. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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I'm going to try this. In week 4. (Week 3 is cut sugar, as per pp). Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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^meant in response to OR. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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Cut out carbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] One of the most disappointing things: When you open a Pierre and it is nearly flat. Sigh. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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French fries....french dressing...and to drink: Peru! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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love you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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Well, South Dakota is pretty flat country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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The leaves are so shiny and flat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Are states like Arkansas better or worse for SAHMs with babies for divorce purposes? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Are you asking about alimony and child support? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Op: yes and yes. Is it worse for wives vs NY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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better or worse than what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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What's a state like Arkansas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Op: conservative vs liberal Ny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] How long can frozen foods stay in the freezer b4 I need to check them? 6 months, 12 months? Someday meat, some cooked foods. Thx 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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^^ chuck them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Indefinitely in terms of food safety, I think. MOre an issue of freezer burn and bad taste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Do my enemies google me or my address consistently or should I get over myself? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Ha. They probably do. I do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Just for zillow or pages and pages? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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What's pages and pages? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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I mean you just look at zillow and Trulia or you look through all the google pages [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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OR: It depends on my level of commitment. I might look through all the google results if I had time or interest, esp if their name was not too common. I'd also look at their FB, of course. Make sure yours is private! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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Enemies? Yes, get over yourself. No one cares that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Yes. I don't care if new people google me once. But do enemies repeatedly look for dirt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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they DO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Like they do it every few months? The same person? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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and they are outside the house now . . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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Ok are you guys just being funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Can only answer for myself, but I don't spend much time or effort thinking about people I don't like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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What? I only google my friends! And I look at how rich they are getting on Zillow ;) With love, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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Why friends and not enemies? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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Because I hate my enemies and if they were doing well (like home price doubled) I might be envious. And I hate that feeling. When my friends do well, I might feel proud of them, motivated to better myself, competitive to try to keep up or jealous of what they have and I do not, but I do not feel envy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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I have noticed that the OW (from years ago) occasionally looks me up on Linked In. I wonder if she looks me up on Google or other sites; I suspect she does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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I thought you had to subscribe to Linked-In Premium (?) in order to see exactly who is looking at your profile. Otherwise, there are no specific names attached to "seven people looked at your profile this past week" yes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Why are sahms always getting bashed on this board? Why do people care so much? 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Cuz trolling [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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+100000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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WOHMs get bashed too "Why did you have kids," "Pawning off kids on a stranger," "KIds cared for by illiterate monkeys," etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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don't hijack my post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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My point was everyone gets flamed. SAHMs are not special. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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np: Not true. There is a special hatred in UB land for SAHMs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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+10000 People who say otherwise are being disingenuous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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YOu see what you want to see. Personally, i think telling a WOHM "why did you have kids" is way worse than "what do you do all day," No skin in this game - WOH PT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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This for sure. Throwaway comments towards all groups but a special hatred for SAHMs - "parasites," "whores," etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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We have men posting on urban baby. they say the same things on their reddits. they are upset that women have the choice to work or not. They feel they have no choice. It's weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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There's also a "special hatred" for vegetarians, DILs who don't let the grandkids sleepover on school nights, doctor wives, people of different races, etc, etc. Your problem if you take any of it seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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My problem is that is it non-stop, and all other conversations about schools, nursing, tutors, etc. get abandoned/go nowhere. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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The troll posts get traction because talking about schools and nursing is BORING. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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don't hijack my post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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^^^it's a horror that one stays at home with their offspring! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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WOHM are mad they are sitting at a desk all day. The SAHM's are busy living and can't defend themselves on this site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Omg please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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ITA. They are also a bit jelly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Bitch, please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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trashy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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working sucks. doing stupid little desk jobs bring no meaning. maybe if one were a high powered executive running a department with people answering to them it would be better- granted, those aren't the ladies who have time to sit on UB at work, nor do they care to get wrapped up in stupid shit like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Much like the SAHMs with nothing to do all day are sitting here bitching, and the SAHMs spending time with their DCs or taking an interesting class are off somewhere else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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i agree. i sah and here i am. i probably need something more to do or maybe just not have full time help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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It's fundamentally wrong to bash other people's jobs. No job is easy - or it wouldn't be paid. Waitresses have to have skills, CEOs have to have skills. Some jobs are better paid than others, but all jobs require something from the person working at it. It's incredibly blasé that a non working person denigrates others for their jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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There's a troll on this thread pretending to be a SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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The OP is said troll! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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Some wohms feel defensive about their choice. They bash sahms as useless because the alternative - admitting that having a loving, well-educated parent as a full-time caretaker offers children certain advantages - is too painful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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lol Having loving, well educated parents trumps everything, regardless of whether they work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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THis is true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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I agree that having those parents trumps everything. I still think it's nice to spend your free time with one of them vs a paid caretaker. I remember always being really happy to come home after school and see my mom, tell her about my day, go on outings, whatever. I know some here have posted that their moms were miserable and that influenced them in the other direction, which I totally understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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+1000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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I am WOH and I get annoyed at the "enjoy your silly little cubicle life working for the man" comments. It shows a real lack of common sense and knowledge of the real world and what jobs actually entail. Sometimes SAH is the right choice for the family, but the avid SAHMs who do it because they don't want to work and think there is something about them that makes them deserve a high earning husband so they can stay home is very annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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I deserve a high earning husband because I grew him into one from zero. He is emotionally dependent on me. That sharp exterior you see in the office is supported by a lot of cuddling and soft spoken encouragement in the evenings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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Lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Now you know his secret, and why he has more staying power than you do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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This is getting ever more ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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SAHMs vs. WOHMs. Public vs. Private. Vax vs. Ant-Vax. Circ vs. Non-circ. Haters gonna hate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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don't forget the racists. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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Was this the end game of your incessant anti-SAHM troll posts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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I think it's annoying that some women think women shouldnt work and should SAH as that is best for the kids. I have been working since I was 15, trying to build a career and I fundamentally disagree with the idea that women should be the primary care givers to kids vs working at jobs (and running the world). I want to completely destroy that being the default. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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This is just laughable considering that the SAHM faction called WOHMs hairy-chested she-males yesterday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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That's because that troll was a man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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OP needs to get over herself and find something else to keep busy, rather than stirring up controversy on a website. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Not sure - maybe because this is a snarky board? My thought is that being at home and not working isn't particularly special or novel. This is what my grandmother did and also same model as Leave it to Beaver and Flinstones. It's not exactly progress, but that's a topic for another day .... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O from "if dc SAH I'd feel like a failure" post. My dcs are little, but if my ds or dd decided to one day SAH with their dcs, I'd be glad that my grandchildren were being cared for by a parent (I have trust issues with other caregivers). Of course, it's ultimately their decision and I would support whatever they decided to do. I'm not flaming anyone and I don't really care what others do, but I think it's weird that the OP of that post was SO adamant that her dcs work and that she would rather have her grandkids with a nanny than with a parent. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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I think ti's weird you both are so vested as to what's going to happen to these theoretical grandchildren. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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I understand where she is coming from. My career has been more than just a "job," it's very important to me and I worked hard to get where I am. It would be soul crushing to give this up in order to SAH. I wouldn't want my kid to make such a sacrifice. Also...I think it's important to be financially independent from your spouse. I know so many women who wound up divorced and struggled to find work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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OP: I respect that, but just because it would be soul-crushing for you doesn't meant that your dc would feel that way. Lots of people have jobs they don't particularly care about, even if they are "high-powered" or high-earning. My dad, for example, was a doctor who didn't care at all about his job and couldn't wait to retire. It was just a paycheck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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That's your dad. I feel differently. And I doubt the 3 hours a day DS spends in after school activities matter to him whether it's me or his sitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Obviously, none of us want our children's souls crushed. I think you are an exception, though. I hope my children are successful at whatever they do, work hard at everything and don't place undue importance on a career. There is much more to life. -NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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You responders are ignoring the part where she said a woman should be financially independent from dh. I think thats very important. Depending on the situation, women can end up trapped in very bad marriages, or divorced with no marketable skills or connections. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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It's not black or white. Of course, a woman shouldn't marry before she can support herself. The days of leaving your father's house to move into your husband's are all but over, so it's not really an issue unless you make it one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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+1 People shouldn't marry until they're adults, have an education, etc. and they shouldn't have kids until they've made a plan to support them and, ideally, planned their careers around that. Obviously, taking time off to SAH limits one's career, but I haven't seen friends ending up homeless or living on cat food either (knock on wood!). They find other, often less prestigious but often more rewarding jobs when kids are in school and life carries on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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OP: Obviously financial independence for everyone is ideal, but it's a trade-off when you SAH, because you do lose those earning years. I think spouse selection really makes a huge difference here. I think if you marry a high-earning, alpha male masters of the universe type guy, then it's more important to be financially independent. This is the type of DH they warn us about on UB: he's rich, handsome, and powerful, but he will cheat on you if you gain 10lbs or quit your job, because then you will become boring. (Who knows if these guys even really exist.) If you marry a normal person who is supportive of having a SAH spouse, I think it's less important. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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OP: I agree with this. If my dcs end up having a fantastic career or a burning passion to do something, then great--don't leave it to SAH with dcs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Depends on the parent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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I think she's just bitter and stirring the pot. That said, I agree, if my kids have children I hope one parent will be able to take time away from work to be the primary caregiver during the early years. And I hope they will have careers that allow a bit more flexibility so they can lead well-rounded but secure lives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Help me change up my smoothie. I always get the same thing: coconut water, kale, banana, and almond butter. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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Lololol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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chocolate milk, strawberries, bananas, scoop of vanilla ice cream [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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How about some fucking food!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Trying to lose a few [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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eat a salad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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I do that too. Was simply looking for a few other smoothie ideas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I like greek yogurt, protein powder, banana, some type of berry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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tx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I think the only reason why I like my smoothie is bc of the protein powder I buy. My aunt sends me this protein powder from some local company in MN. It honestly tastes good! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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You need the Amazon Kraft Mac and Cheese Dash Button. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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np: OMG the Dash Button! I am obsessed with it! I wish I used one of those products so I could get one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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I do mixed frozen berries, Greek yogurt, spinach, and water, plus a little stevia to sweeten. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Banana, cherries, vanilla protein and/or vanilla almond milk, optional greens - cherry vanilla smoothie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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YUM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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frozen banana, peanut butter and chocolate rice milk (or almond milk, etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Omg. I hate myself for loving UB so much. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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I know. It gives me just enough to keep me coming back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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I love it too. And, surprisingly, I have gotten some excellent advice on here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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it's ok until people post real names on here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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+100 but there are a few trolls/fakers who make it rather unpleasant sometimes. it is anonymous, people, why cant you just post what you need? I don't understand why people get their jollies posting fake scenarios [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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or the awful person who spams this place with hate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Striver [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:20 PM Flag
[ - ] How much child support will my DH pay if his salary is around 120k? I also work full time. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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About 17% for one kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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isnt it 17% of the difference in salaries? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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depends on the State - assuming this is NY - and I don't know why I would assume this - if you are granted residential custody - around $1,500-1600 month for child support and then you would have to decide on how the rest of add-on expenses are paid (activities, camp etc..) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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there are many different rules - btw - you are crazy to get advice from the internet unless it is a starting point, you need an attorney who knows your location, the judges, and can advise you what actions to take before you even file. In my case it was not crystal clear that I would get custody, since the dad did all the pickups from school and coached the kids teams - so I first had to take over that role without him knowing, wait several months and then file (just as an example)- otherwise the court could have ordered I pay him child support. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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A billion cagillion dollars. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok, so now we have academic proof that staying at home with your young kids makes no difference on them whatsoever. 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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Thanks for this. I am a resident working 80 hour weeks and I have a baby at home :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Why didn't you. wait until after residency??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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I am 33 so we felt ready. In retrospect, I wish we had waited. It has been very hard being away from db. I cry a lot in private,. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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hugs to you. the crazy work weeks are temporary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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not true at all for many specialties. np. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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SAHM here. I really hate you and your husband. You brought a child into an IMPOSSIBLE situation, and now you get to hate on men and women WHO DIDN'T Your IQ may be upwards 150, but you have no Emotional IQ. I bet your tears are mingled with a lot of anti-SAHM posts, aren't they? ugh! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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How is she hating on anybody? Also, why is this an "impossible" situation? Both of my parents were immigrants with multiple jobs, and somehow my sister and I survived that IMPOSSIBLE situation -- made worse by the fact that we never had any money, and at least OP is going to be doctor after all this is over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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^^^ oops, not OP, OR. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Most immigrant families I know have a grandma, an auntie, a cousin very close by to help with kids, or else, they wouldn't move to this country in the first place. If they don't have family here, they send the dad or mom to work here, and that person sends money back home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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True. But why do you think that the OR doctor (see what I did there?) doesn't have that as well? Or some other kind of help? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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That baby has a nanny, and you know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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So? What is the difference between a loving nanny and a loving auntie? That baby is with someone who loves it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Resident here. We have a nanny and also my mom helps out at least 1 or 2 days most weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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I can't figure out if ths is a mispost (intended for the anti sahm thread) or if this poster is just completely unhinged. Np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Whoa, lady, you have some anger there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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What the hell? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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IGNORE THE TROLL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Go back to your latte [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Bunch of @ssholes think you're so smart. Half of the time you're in tears over your BAD CHOICES. The other half of the time, you're insulting people on-line. Guess what? I did it the right way FOR ME. And I don't cry myself to sleep at night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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good for you. But why "hate" her and her husband? She's smart enough to get through med school. Life is a learning experience. Too bad she cant be as fabulous and all-knowing like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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You need to work on your reading comprehension. And your emotional outbursts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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It will all be okay. Really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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It's only like 3 people on here fighting with themselves about it on here. The rest of us don't give a crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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yes, but it says "quality trumps quantity." i know many SAHMs who spend a lot of quality time with their children so they trump WOHMs. the battle can be never-ending if we want to make it that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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I didn't read the article, but I'm guessing it says something like: UMC/educated families have UMC/educated kids regardless of mother's work status? Is that about right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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np Doesn't sound like it was a very well-designed study. It basically said that time where parents are stressed out and miserable affects children negatively, so trying to squeeze in time together at the end of the day because you feel you "should" isn't helpful. I think the Freakonomics guys concluded exactly what you said. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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I don't believe it. It's largely quantity. That's why you have little kids who get excited when their mother leaves for work because they know the babysitters coming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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LOL when does htis happen? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Do you really expect any sociologist to publish research saying working parents should quit their jobs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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yes, scientists are all in the pocket of Big WOHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Imagine the outrage. We can't even say girls like dolls and boys like weapons as toys. That is seen as being sexist and ignorant. Feminism will not tolerate gender roles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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you do what works for your own family. you expect a one solution for all? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Attention SAHMs and SAHDs. You have until 15 April to contribute to your Spousal IRA. The maximum you can contribute for 2014 and 2015, is $5,500 for each year. That's $11,000 in pre-tax savings. do it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Thanks for the PSA. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Thank you! Is that pretax? Even if DH makes $$$ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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So stupid. Just do what you want and don't apologize, but don't rationalize and read into things, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Actually it says it is harmful if. I personally would be stressed if I had continued as an I Banker with crazy hours. “Mothers’ stress, especially when mothers are stressed because of the juggling with work and trying to find time with kids, that may actually be affecting their kids poorly,” said co-author Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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It's the stress that is harmful, not the act of working. I have a low-stress FT job, so I'm not particularly stressed when I'm home and have evenings and weekends free. There are a lot of jobs between SAHM (0% working) and I-banker (120% working). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Pp: but a lot of SAHMS in NY are ex bankers and lawyers. At least in my private school circle. I wish I had gone for a lower paying less stressful field. But how could I have planned for my future's spouse's income potential [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you think it looks more professional for a man over 40 to wear a watch? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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Everyone should wear a watch imo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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This. Especially professionals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I think it is professional but I don't notice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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wearing a suit and tie looks more professional [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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obviously if you are a professional you are wearing that also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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because the computer in their hand isn't enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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I think for an attorney or a professional a watch looks good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Or else big bangle bracelet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.01.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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