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[ - ] Do you give you babysitter money for dinner? I had a babysitter last night from 7 to 10. In the past she has asked for money for dinner. Last night, I had ordered a pizza for the kids and said that she could have that for dinner. She said she "didn't feel like pizza" since she had it a few nights ago and wanted to order something else. I left her $20 - no change! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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how old is she? i've never had a sitter demand like that. most sitters say they have eaten or pizza would have been fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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I hate that. I always feel compelled to give our sitters extra $$ for dinner, but wonder why they can't eat what the kids are eating. I never get change back either (no matter now much I leave) and always feel taken advantage of. Unfortunately I think this is just something that babysitters have come to expect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:06 PM Flag
[ - ] My friend lives far away and her mom died. What should I sent? Any ideas of places to send food from? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Zabars [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Most people like edible arrangements. Nice fruit to nosh on and it's local [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Better to send things that will not go bad in a day or two. That she can pick at over time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Disagree. Lots of people will be coming through and a healthy option is always nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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i hate edible arrangements [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Arby's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:06 PM Flag
[ - ] How often are you visiting your beach house during these months? Where is it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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January and February we never go. We are in Southampton. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Cutchogue, on Peconic Bay. We never go after New Years until it starts warming up. Maybe once or twice at most. We prefer the city during the cold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
[ - ] In NYC, how do logistics typically work when you are in the market to buy a new place but need to sell your existing one first? Are contingency offers even considered? or do most people sell their existing place and then start the buying process? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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hubbard clause? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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^^^but any contingency will always make a deal harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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OP: yeah, I'm trying to figure out if anyone even does this or whether I should just go ahead and get my apt on the market ASAP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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I have never heard of a contingency clause in Manhattan. Not sure it would be accepted at most co-ops. People I know have generally put their places on the market and then started looking, tried to time it as close as they can and stay at a relatives, s/t rental or a hotel in the interim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Question to parents who have experienced both: which group of parents would you consider to be nicer, suburban or NYC? I realize that I am asking for some generalizations here but I am just curious to hear about people's experiences. Thanks. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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NYC all the way. Suburban moms are so much more clique-y and cookie cutter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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Unlike the UES moms with the same hair, goyard bag, moncler coat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Grante I only know HM, spence, Rodeph and Browning parents, I would definitely say suburban. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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The city kids above are cocky and annoying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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OP: also, what differences have people noticed in the two groups of kids in terms of character and behavior. I don't care about which group is smarter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Haved lived in both. Both are kind of awful, but in different ways. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Same thing. Kids pulled out of suburban public for private [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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Which suburb are you considering and I will give you inside info [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Ex dh's new wife hates our dc. It's open hostility. She's making him choose in the most passive aggressive way. Dc don't want to visit and he doesn't force them to -- if she's away they'll go to his place. I haven't voiced my opinion but I want to kill this bitch. DD's are 14 and 12. Very good girls. Anyone btdt? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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They are teenagers. No one likes teenagers besides their parents. Use this as an opportunity to teach you DD's how to deal with people who suck with grace. Its a good life lesson. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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you=your [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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I hear you but they really are good. New wife is a total mean girl and puts them down constantly. They swear they never respond. Xdh never says anything in their defense. Why should they have to put up with the bullying? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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They are old enough to deal. Let them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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What bothers me more is the way xdh just stands by and lets it happen. I want my dc to have a good relationship with their father but they're hurt and will be over him before long. I worry about the long term. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Good advice. He's their dad and they need to spend time w/him. It's up to him to make the peace. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Sorry but girls that age are the absolute worst. Are they rude to her? Why is she so hostile to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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You are projecting. My dd and her closest friends were truly sweet teens. Almost seemed young for thir ages in that regard, but the were polite and pleasant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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OP my girls are the same. The woman is just a bitch period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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OP within earshot new wife said "they're not mine. I don't want them." Just blatant stuff like that. Complaining to their faces how much they look like me and it makes her uncomfortable. Crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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I don't know if it is worse when they go out of their way to cozy up. My ex has my dd serving as maid of honor at their wedding, he promised her a car. I wish she would push my dd away and show her true colors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 PM Flag
[ - ] who do parents blame when their kids have autism and have not gotten vaccinated? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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Satan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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We talking 'bout the 'tism? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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Obama [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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On the upside, the 'Tism means less need for a 529! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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old man sperm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Neighbor told me that in addition to registering for our zoned gen ed, a school that my dcs have enjoyed but has a mediocre reputation, she is applying to other zoned schools on the off-chance that they find themselves underenrolled and will take out of zone kids. It really hurt my feelings that she would do that and tell me about it when she knows how happy my kids are in the zoned school. I told her that she hurt my feelings and she looked surprised. Was I wrong? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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How is this about you? Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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You were too sensitive. Each to their own.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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You are way overthinking. Also, she won't get an out of zone spot in any decent school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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Yes. You are wrong. To identify with a school for your child to this extent is not normal. You feel what you feel but sharing this was completely OTT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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Yes you are wrong. It is tough out there and everyone is just trying to make the best possible choices for their kids. Truthfully, if you had the chance to go to a better school wouldn't you take it even if you left your neighbor behind? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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My neighbor used to go on and on about our assigned public elementary school and how great it was. However, test results were and always have been pretty bad. I've never asked her about it but lo and behold her kids all have been switched to a different magnet school. Eventually you may find your "mediocre public" is not a good fit for your kids so quit judging her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks for the reality check. My mom told me that I probably should not have said that to her. I guess she was right. Oh well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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I have a neighbor who chose SA over our strong gen ed, where my DC have done great and we've had an enormously positive experience. It annoys me to hear her talk about it, but it's such a small blip on my radar that I just ignore and move on with my day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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like OP, why do you care at all? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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np: we also bucked the common wisdom when it came to school choice. it's hard not to feel a little defensive. I get it. But you just have to learn to let these things roll off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Lesser race: Jews or Italians? Obviously Jews are smarter and Italians stronger/more genetically fit. But taking culture, genetics, achievements, etc into account, which is the lesser race? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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"Jewish" and "Italian" aren't races. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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both white [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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lol.no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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lol.yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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OR. ? Yes, they are. As what race would you identify them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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not white. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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There are black Jews [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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anti-italianess is lame. i like italians. they are good european people. yeah, guidos are trash, but so are Anglo-Saxon chavs. every euro country has its riff-raff. italians have a long respectable history, and have contributed a lot to western civilization. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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I would agree, except the guinea trash that inhabits LI and NJ are some of the most-debased and disgusting low order whites I have ever encountered [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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Agreed. NYC Italians are the most-trashy whites I know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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have you ever been to appalachia? trashy italians at least tend to hold down jobs and have functioning families, they're just very loud and obnoxious about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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I have. The people are much more genetically debased, but their culture is great compared to the Italian Americans u see in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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i disagree here entirely. i think you're getting a little too hung up on style over substance and da yoots. appalachian oxy-riddled white trash culture is poisonous and self-destructive. trashy italian culture is really off-putting and obnoxious but it at least can sustain functioning communities [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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Your point has some merit. Maybe if I was daily exposed to meth-addled trailer trash in the way that B&T Italians infest my life, I might have a different view [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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I've not only been to Appalachia but I grew up there. I agree with your assessment. However, I think there are stereotypes in both groups, and there is a lot of strong family sentiment in Appalachia too, just different economic conditions in a lot of respects. Two very different cultures and both have negatives and positives. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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Now I really want to know what Scandinavian riff-raff are like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Aren't there skinheads in Scandinavian countries? They're probably bald and an ugly shade of white, with weird tattoos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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Death metal idiots. It stems from boredom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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I am Italian American, have 2 Ivy degrees and a HHI of over $1 million. No one in my family even remotely resembles any of the Sopranos, Jersey Shore or Real Housewives characters (and I've met plenty of other NY/NJ Italian Americans who don't fit that stereotype either). For some reason, Italian Americans are one of the only ethnic groups it's considered acceptable to mock, and it bugs me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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I understand, and I'm not Italian. People on here (when they bring this stuff up) aren't very smart to begin with...they believe all the stereotypes and don't have a lot of critical thinking skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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They have to pick the lowest class Italians to mock because most people are otherwise jealous of the way normal, middle class Italians live. We value hard work but don't value it above family, we are proud of a job well done but are prouder of the fact that the whole family still gathers around the table on Sunday. We are among the most generous and welcoming people - try walking into an Italian's house and not being fed a meal, no matter when you show up and if they were expecting you or not - and know that the purpose of life is enjoyment, not money or power. We don't believe in nannies or nursing homes, and your parents aren't looking to dump you and send you out on your own the minute you turn 18. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Jew married to Italian here. My children will comprise the master race. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 PM Flag
[ - ] If an autistic person is autistic because of a vaccine, are they also vaccinated against the illness the vaccine was for? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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They are not autistic because if the vaccine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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Vaccines DO NOT cause autism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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They def. cause the 'tism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:58 PM Flag
[ - ] I am so depressed looking at my HS teenager's report card. Part of me say it's her life and I have to let go. The other part of me say she is my child and I have to do something to help her. Any advices from teenage moms? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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How bad is it. Why is it bad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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I'm sure you don't want advice from teenage moms! LOL! I'm 52 and raised two teens. Need more info: grade range, type of school, if you feel DD really has what it takes to do better at her school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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LOL. Moms of teenagers. You see I am so depressed that I am not even coherent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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My older son did ok in high school - not nearly what he could have done, but ok. My younger son though....got progressively worse year to year and it made our home life very tough. He's extremely obdurate and basically there was nothing that ended up being successful for me. He had - predictably - a very unsuccessful college search and only got into one, which is where he is now, and seems to be doing ok. I still have post traumatic stress from the calls I'd get from the school. I feel for you and wish I had something more helpful. I guess the most helpful thing I can offer is to not let it seriously damage or interfere with your relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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Thanks for any help. She transferred from a public school to a top private for HS. Was a straight A student at public. Struggled in 9th grade (almost failed and academic probation), a B student in 10th grade, and now 4 (A) and 2 (B) in 11th grade. I am depressed that she had to try so hard and give up so much sleep and social life to get there.. ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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np--That's a terrific report card and trajectory. You are way off-base with your original post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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+1. If she keeps this up, she will be in a good position for decent colleges. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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No. Her 9th and 10th grade report card will hurt her overall gpa and get her out of the game. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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You should have left her in public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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I agreed. I knew i made a mistake in 9th grade and offered her to transfer out, but she refused. Since then, I had to painfully watch her struggle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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Hopefully colleges give her credit for improving. Otherwise, her 9th grade report card will kill her admission chance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Colleges love to see a trajectory of improvement. It shows tenacity. All HS kids in rigorous schools ( public and private) are working like dogs. That's a given. College is actually a lot easier. Applaud her hard work! She will do fine. There are many, many, many college options out there for hardworking students. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Thank you. I just can not bear to think that I put her in this school and put her through the suffering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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How does your child feel about the report card? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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She is stressed. She has nightmares from her 9th grade report card experience when she almost got counseled out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O of NOKD/OKD Post - MKD (My Kind Dear) are people of any color, religion or stripe that work an honest job, treat people of all classes with respect, value education, tolerate differences, and teach their children to have good values and integrity. The rest is just window dressing. I have found these people in churches, in synagogues, on Ivy League campuses and in soup kitchens and trailer parks. You? What matters to you? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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This is true, and it's entirely possible to be OKD on a wide spectrum of wealth. Being rich is not a requirement (and in some cases, a detriment). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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I like this thread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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Agreed but those people are hard to find. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:30 PM Flag
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People who don't shove their schtick down my throat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you believe vaccines cause autism? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 PM Flag
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Of course not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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I believe the in tease in autism is multifauceted - the analogy is its 3 things to bring down the plane. If I had to pick I would say a genetic predisposition, and environmental factor and a trigger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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no and nor does SCIENCE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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Nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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OP: related question - if you don't, but you are anti-vax, why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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I'm not anti-vax at all but I think it has to do with the movement of everything people think of as "chemical" being bad for you - vaccinations, cleaners, food additives, prescribed medications, baby formula, store diapers. There are some points to some of it, but embracing the concept as a whole just throws the baby out with the bathwater. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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I don't. I believe people will blame anything they can for unexplained tragedies, sadly endangering themselves and others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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i think people need to place blame somewhere and vaccines seem like a good place. i think it has to do with what humans have done to this planet (soil and water). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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I just read a phrase attributed to the Scientologists along the lines of "if it's not your truth,it's not true for you". Of course vaccines don't cause autism, but that doesn't stop some people from embracing their own alternative reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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Like with the Ferguson thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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And 9/11 truthers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I think a high fever may trigger some aspects of autism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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so we should worry every time our kids get sick? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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High fever or flu in pregnancy is associated with an increase in autism and related disorders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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^^^ Whoops. Just looked this up, and it seems that kids with autism may seem better with a high fever: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16956039 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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It makes zero sense if you know anything about biology. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:40 PM Flag
[ - ] When does Hunter high school announce admissions results? Not terribly hopeful, but know of quite a few people who sent their private school DCs to take a test just for kicks, with no intention of sending the kids there if accepted (although I have a sneaking suspicion they might not really mean that). 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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Website should say. They send email. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:19 PM Flag
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Website doesn't say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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I'll go see if I can find email from last year. Found it! March 7th [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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They sent them for kicks? Yeah, right. That waiting list doesn't move, and I hate to burst your hopeful balloon, but ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 PM Flag
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I had my child take he test and wasn't going to send. It happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 PM Flag
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They sent them for kicks? Yeah, right. That waiting list doesn't move, and I hate to burst your hopeful balloon, but ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 PM Flag
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The waiting list does not move because Hunter over accept, just like colleges do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:22 PM Flag
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Correct. Every school over accept in anticipation of some rejecting offers. The specialized HS do that. They estimate the percentage of rejection based on historical statistics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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The private school kids are annoying. They view the test and (SHSAT too) as a sport. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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Nothing wrong with that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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Yes there is. They are potentially depriving a kid who really needs a seat for HS a place at a school they would be thrilled to attend. It's morally reprehensible to take the SHSAT if you have absolutely no intention of enrolling under any circumstances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:42 PM Flag
[ - ] DD has new friend - got together with kids and other mom and dad last week. They talked obsessively about their supposedly glam media jobs + the celebrities they hung with, also their Ivy colleges. Funny thing is, I had arguably a more glam media job, more A-list celeb contact, and went to an HYP school. So I sat and nodded, all while wondering when I could ZING. The anticipation kept me calm while they preened. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:06 PM Flag
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Don't zing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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+1. It's more fun when details come out slowly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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What fun! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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You sound like a blast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:10 PM Flag
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OP: and they sound like...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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Oh, you all sound like assholes. NYC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:12 PM Flag
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OP: of course. Where we are all this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:17 PM Flag
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Oh boy. No WE are not. Not at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 PM Flag
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Oh boy. No WE are not. Not at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:20 PM Flag
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Not enough information to assess. Maybe they just love their jobs, maybe they were trying to make conversation on a topic they thought you would find interesting, or maybe they are dull braggarts. But your reaction shows that you go through life looking for opportunities for one-upmanship. You would probably have a more fun and less stressful life if you stopped thinking about everything as a competition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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OP: Ordinarily I am not this way, but these people were beyond the pale with this. I suppose it's possible they thought I would find it interesting, but they just talked and talked. Could not even get a word in edgewise. Nodded and smiled for hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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It's way less stressful to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there were nervous and trying to impress you! If they turn out to be awful, you can always start avoiding them later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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Your DD is doomed if all you do is size up to everyone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:11 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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THIS. Wow. You sound awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:21 PM Flag
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THIS. Wow. You sound awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:21 PM Flag
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Loser [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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How old is your dd? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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I would like the other couple and I loathe you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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I'd like none of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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Wtf is a "glam job", sounds douchey? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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Seriously. And is this what HYP is for? To hobnob with celebrities? Klassy all around! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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Sounds like you found your new best friends. You were all made for each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:21 PM Flag
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+1. Sounds like you all have much in common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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You have to know how awful you sound and that everyone will flame you, right? Right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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I'm kind of like you in that I revel in bursting other people's bubbles. It's weird, I know, and I'm Usually a very nice person, but I do like to cut braggards down to size. You should chime in with someone specific that they don't know - like "Oh, did (celebrity's publicist) call you guys last week too?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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It's "braggart", and you and OP would be good friends! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Am tired of paying my nanny every time we go away. Between Xmas, Pres Weekend, MLK, Spring Break and Summer we end up being away at least 2 months a year if not more. Anyone have any ideas how to make this a more fair situation? Basically nanny gets 2 months paid vacation a year but then every hour that we go over her flat rate 9 hours a day work day she reaps in overtime which ends up being hundreds of dollars a week. Ideas? Would love to hear and thanks in advance. 59 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:00 PM Flag
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Are you in CA? Wondering why or is after 9hrs/day instead of 40/week. In any case not much you can do except either bring her on vacation with you or take some of those weekends without kids or perhaps work out an alternative summer arrangement where another family pays her, if she'll agree to that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:03 PM Flag
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^^^ why OT is after 9hrs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:04 PM Flag
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She's 9 hours a day 5 days a week so 45 hours a week. We're in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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Got it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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She's illegal so can't travel with us plus on vaca we like to spend time with the kids since we both work. Don't need full time help when we travel. The summer thing is a good idea except we don't go away that much in summer maybe 2 weeks max. Thanks though for the ideas! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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Hire someone else, advertise YOUR vacation days as unpaid. Good luck on your search. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:05 PM Flag
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In NYC NO ONE that we interviewed would accept unpaid vaca. Am I looking in the wrong places? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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OR here, that's my point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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No, it's sarcasm. No one should accept unpaid vacay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:15 PM Flag
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I'd think you could find someone who would overlook being paid 48 weeks of the year instead of 52- that person would prob be unemployed but your choice if you are ok with that, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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Extremely common. I agree it is painful but what can you expect? She can't keep her time open and not have income because you are on vacation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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Exactly. And you can't dictate her vacation days [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:16 PM Flag
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Don't have a nanny. Or don't go away so much. But your nanny's income shoudnt be dependent on your travel schedule..she needs to pay her rent whether you're in town or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:16 PM Flag
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You can always send your kids to Daycare, if you want F/T flexibility, you have to pay a premium. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:16 PM Flag
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LOL, you think daycare doesn't make you pay when you take a week off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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Nanny: I'm not sure either. My job is ending this year due to age of my charges. I'm paid for every week whether worked or not. When hours go beyond my day hours I'm paid OT. This was the package my bosses offered when they offered me the job. They, like you go away for 5/6 weeks per annum and often give me random days off - totalling approx 8 weeks paid leave. They pay me OT from 8pm plus cab home and overnight/weekend rates when applied. I see your point... I'm there WHENEVER they require however, and I also do much more than mere nannying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:18 PM Flag
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And they are replacing you now because they no longer want to pay this much. It's life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I think you need a better nanny. That's a lot of vacation and if you can afford it, the cost of thr nanny insnt likely all that material to you. If you liked the nanny more, I doubt you would resent oaying for her availability as much as you do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:24 PM Flag
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Hrm very true thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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Of course you're paying off the books, another example of a family that shouldn't have a nanny. They can't afford it, shirking taxes only leads them to thinking they can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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Thanks for the constructive, positive advice! Have a great day :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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this isnt the 1800s anymore. white collar fulltime employees get paid vacations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:26 PM Flag
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Read the post again wasn't saying they shouldn't get vaca just that 2 months paid is excessive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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It's not the employee's fault that her boss goes away so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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Nanny is white collar? Since when?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Do you pay her 100% of her pay when you're away on vacation? Scale it back to 4 weeks at 100%, and 4 weeks at 50% pay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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Why would someone accept that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:29 PM Flag
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Because they want the job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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No, they don't. They want a job where they get their paycheck and can pay their bills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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Many people do side work to fill gaps in pay. The nanny here has two months vacation time. That's more than most experienced professionals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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An illegal nanny who would have to find another comparable position would? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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There is no shortage in NYC of people that need 45 hours a week and are willing to here someone illegal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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As there are no shortage of nannies needing 45 hours a week. I'm sure OP's nanny can lock down numerous interviews for ft positions, but doubtful any position will be offering her a starting salary near what she's making with OP. (I'm assuming OP has had this nanny for a few years.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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She claims to be paying $800/week, which isn't out of the ordinary for more than one kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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How do illegal nannies who don't pay taxes and can't travel anywhere get so much power? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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Why do you think the OP chose to hire an illegal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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That was kind of my point the problem is is that they all go to the playground and compare and the ones working for the wealthy families are getting $200/day + overtime so the ones I hire always seem resentful that they're not getting enough. I'm paying $800/week + $20 an hour over 45 hours a week so ends up being $1000 a week. I've had a string of resentful nannies that complain I'm not paying enough. Hence why I feel it's unfair that I'm still paying them for all the time we're away. PS to all the haters who commented that I should just not go away...thanks but that's not the advice I was looking for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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You pay when you're away because you want the person to continue to work for you when you return. If you are happy to replace your nanny after every vacation, feel free to treat it as unpaid time off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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How doe you expect her to pay her rent/bills when you go away? She needs some financial stability, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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You're not going to get the "advice" you want. Accept that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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I love it when people complain snout not getting the advise they want. Sounds like OP wanted validation and instead she was smacked down. Obviously you can't afford a nanny is this is what you are concerned about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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NP: if I listened to UB I would pay 2x for a nanny who does no housekeeping. OP has a good point and can absolutely find a different arrangement [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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She won't find a motivated nanny willing to go weeks without pay while the boss is on an exotic vacation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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I find nannies to be much morel rivaled when they are acutely aware how easily they can be replaced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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Not looking for validation and wasn't smacked down at all read the posts I got some awesome advice so far. Just thought it was silly that people wrote "don't go away so much", Thanks anyway though and have a great day! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Well, that's the solution to your "problem" of resenting your nanny because you take a lot of vacation! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Lolol right you pay her 1000 cash, don't lie you know she's getting 650-750 week hence the resentment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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My illegal nanny is thrilled with 550. 650-750 is good $$ outside of UN la la land [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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^UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Um...they are mature adults who are mothers themselves and really good with kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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Because people like OP give it. I let my nanny go and tell her she is welcome back when we are back in September and guess what! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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You left for the summer and she was able to find another summer job. You didon't "fire" her for a week every othet month. Apples:Oranges. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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I know people who pay 1/2 while away. It can be agreed upon upfront. I know many nannies who live with their grown kids and like to earn a living but are ok having some free time off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Because there are lots of families willing to employ them on the cheap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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We replaced out nanny and hired someone with a different arrangement. We have a $300 weekly salary and a $650 average salary and agreed upon hourly rate. This means if we don't need her we pay a lot less [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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That sounds like a good idea. Are you in NYC? Not sure I'd be able to find that here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Yes NYC. Where have your nannies been from? White college girls? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Do you still get paid while taking all this time off? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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I have my own business. Not the point of the post anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:56 PM Flag
[ - ] What's it like having an au pair? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 02:55 PM Flag
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All different experiences [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 02:58 PM Flag
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Some people say that it's amazing and the best thing that happened to their families. Others say that it's horrible and like having another child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:05 PM Flag
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It feels like it comes down to who you get. I think some people are very good at picking/interviewing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:08 PM Flag
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np: I have two sets of friends that use au pairs. One fsmily had a great second au pair after mediocre first one. Another family always takes people in their second year because they want peope with a specific language skill that can drive. Last one greatly exaggerated her driving ability and they wound up getting rid of her entirely. The difficulty is that they are teenagers. Some want to spend way too much time with your family and really think of it as an exchange peogram, others just want a ticket to the US and some spending money, and there are some that are great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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np: I have two sets of friends that use au pairs. One fsmily had a great second au pair after mediocre first one. Another family always takes people in their second year because they want peope with a specific language skill that can drive. Last one greatly exaggerated her driving ability and they wound up getting rid of her entirely. The difficulty is that they are teenagers. Some want to spend way too much time with your family and really think of it as an exchange peogram, others just want a ticket to the US and some spending money, and there are some that are great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:13 PM Flag
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do you have any experience/suggestions with this? thinking it might be right for our family but i have concerns, esp living in nyc apt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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I'm thinking about this as well (switching to au pair) and the woman I know who is good at picking runs HR at a large company. She says she has strict qualification requirements (age 21 or greater, a lot of childcare experience instead of bare minimum, has lived away from home before, etc), asks very specific questions and creates the expectation they will be working the full 45 hours not that it's an "easy" gig. She pays them a little extra and creates incentive comp. Checks multiple references and social media. In NYC you will have many applicants [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:19 PM Flag
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thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:25 PM Flag
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DHs usually like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:14 PM Flag
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Yep. Tasty euro snatch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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I'm the poster below who has had five APs. In my experience, DH has had no interest in the APs, and vice versa. They come here wanting to make their own friends, not hang out with 40 year old married guys! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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Yeah, that is probably true most of the time. But best to reintroduce the blowjob, just to be safe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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make sure she isn't too hot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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I've had 5 au pairs, and it's a mixed bag. If you get a good one, it's great - they provide totally flexible childcare on your schedule, and having them live in can make your life so much easier. However, if you don't like your au pair, it can be miserable because they live with you (although fortunately, there are procedures for replacing a bad match). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.31.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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