• Filter the conversation
[ - ] Has this case been discussed yet? http://nypost.com/2015/07/01/couple-stonewalling-homicide-investigation-of-2-month-old-son/ 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
»
The whole thing just boggles the mind. Ryan Dipede seems beyond messed up. What a disaster all around. That poor baby & his brother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
»
its because they are rich, if they were from the hood somewhere, both would be behind bars without bail by now...Equality for all my ass! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] No, I didn't do an ice bucket challenge, and I'm not going to change my FB picture to a rainbow. I hate it when people come up with shit to make you look bigoted or uncaring if you don't jump on the latest meme. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
A mature person would not care. Sorry to be harsh, but if this stuff makes you feel paranoid, I hope you are able to function in real life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
This. I don't do this shit either and I assume that if someone is analyzing my behavior, they'd come to the conclusion that I just am doing better things in real life instead of hanging out on social media all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:28 PM Flag
»
OP. no, just had one person post on my page and ask why I hadn't changed my picture. I didn't even really know it was a thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:31 PM Flag
»
OP. way to go from zero to 60. I'm just making a comment, not declaring that I've ceased to be able to function. Your interpretation skills are weak [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] People who like Cooper also like: 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:21 PM Flag
»
^Blake Camden Cole Dylan Emerson Harlow Hendrix Knox Lola Olive Parker Reese Ryder Spencer Tyson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:21 PM Flag
»
Yup. Sounds right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
Show me more names similar to Cooper > > [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:22 PM Flag
»
Cooper is not a first name , its a last name [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Parker, Miller, Tyler, Brennan, Logan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Carter, Mason [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
Ugh I know a family with a Madden and a Mason [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
»
my coworker's sons are Mac and Cooper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] A lot of my son's friends are named "Barrel maker." Why are they named "barrel maker"? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Fassmacher? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
cooper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
Bc people don't name based on the meaning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:22 PM Flag
»
If you can name a kid Taylor (even a girl!) then you can name a kid Cooper. Although I wouldn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Cooper? Yea, not much of a name. I always think of chickens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
My 2nd great grandfather and all of his family that I can trace were coopers. Would that make use of the name valid? (I do not have a child name Cooper). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] D3 parents with older kids who went to PS 87 or 199 gen-ed and had to do MS applications: please be honest, how bad was it?? Did you feel your DC had a good shot at Delta? Having panic that we should have taken G&T spot when offered. TIA. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
Delta was easy this year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Why do you think that was? When will the NYC baby boom hit MS application age? Remember during the housing bubble people were talking about it? Sounds like people in NYC arent' having as many kids now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] DH's wage increase has been set at 15%. Pretty good! What about you? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
Eat shit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
2.5% did your dh get promoted or changed jobs to get 15%? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
He asked for 20% or he would switch jobs. He applied for about 5 jobs, got interviews, went through them basically just to get an offer to be able to have a negotiating point, but more than happy to take it if it didn't happen. So it was a bit of work for him. With a 15% increase in base they retained him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
For the past 3 years I've gotten 0%, but I recently got a new job with a 67% raise and increases negotiable based on performance thereafter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
67%? How did you do that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
PERFECT!!! It used to be this way pre-recession. The only way you could get a raise was changing jobs. That's why people changed every couple of years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
I haven't had an increase since 2012 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
OP here, my DH was having nominal increases that barely covered the low inflation we have been having post 2009. He had increases in between due to promotions (that delivered more in title than in wage increase). But he figured he could get more switching jobs still. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
zero [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
Are you considering changing jobs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
»
In my experience, you need to move jobs to get an increase. Or, you have to have a job lined up and tell your boss, you are living, unless they match the offer. Sometimes they would give you an increase to keep you, if cheaper for them, than to hire someone new, especially, if they depend on you. The best way to do it, is to get your company depend on you, then find another job offer, then threaten to leave. This is how I used to get increases. You have to be able to jump though, as threats to leave don't always work, so you better have a real exciting offer waiting for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:28 PM Flag
»
^^ I usually start looking for a new job every 2-3 years. If you get stuck at a same company for 10-15 years you lose out on a lot of cash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Speaking of comfortable and casual sandals, should I get FitFlops or Birkenstocks (I like the Madrid style)? Anonymous UBers, what do you think? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
I would do birkenstocks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
I have these: http://www.bornshoes.com/Product.aspx?ProductID=11199. But I like the entire line for comfortable walking shoes that aren't too grand-ma. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
Thanks. Have to check out this brand in person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
I own both (but I live on the beach on an island) and FitFlops are BY FAR more comfortable. They may not be very attractive (I wish the platform part weren't so thick, but at least it is spongey and bounces when you walk), but they are extraordinarily comfortable. My life changed when I discovered these. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
That is what I hear. I have an old pair of Birkenstock clogs that are not extremely comfortable (could be because they are clogs and I'm constantly making sure they don't fly off). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
Try them on. You will feel how comfortable they are the instant you put them on. I bought my first pair when I was out shopping at a huge outlet mall for the day. My dogs were barking! I was in Neiman Marcus Last Call and there was a pair of light gold FitFlops with jewels on the top. I thought they were so pretty on the top, but I wasn't loving the platform. Anyway, I put them on and the angels sang. Amazingly comfortable. I bought them instantly and have bought several pairs since. Look for a sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
»
birkenstocks, at least they are also trendy right now. Fitflops are very midwestern soccer mom to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you wear to work in a business casual office in summer? I feel like I get it all wrong, in winter I wear slim pants or a skirt and boots with a blouse or sweater and maybe a blazer. I cannot seem to replicate this look in summer, I want to wear slim pants still but all the tops I like in the stores are made of some sort of synthetic material which makes me sweat, linen gets too creased sitting all day. I try dresses but the ones I find that are work appropriate make me feel frumpy. I also struggle to find office appropriate shoes, I look better with a bit of a heel but high heeled sandals are so unsupportive and uncomfortable for my post pregnancy feet (got wider) and pumps area also uncomfortable in the summer for me as my feet swell a little. Help me! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Dresses! Try Anthropologie, Rebecca Taylor (esp. on Gilt), and even DVF. These are not frumpy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
Ralph Lauren has so many great dresses. Look at bloomies 5th floor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
»
easy spirit (sorry to suggest this) has some pretty, simple, comfortable sandals with a low heel that really helped me through the post-pregnancy period. They aren't terribly well made, but they look okay if you take care of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Lightweight trousers and jackets that are at least 50% synthetic so they wick moisture away, with lightweight blouses. Oxford shoes or flats in a breathable material. When it hits 85-90 degrees, I wear Spanx/similar shorts and tank/cap-sleeve top under, to catch & wick any perspiration, so my clothes don't get damp. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] How long did you date your DH before he a) brought up marriage/kids and b) proposed? If you were the one to bring these things up, please mention that. I ask because I've been dating someone for a few months and none of these have come up yet but I'm panicking because with previous boyfriends it came up early. With this one... crickets. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
»
Within a year of meeting, I mentioned to DH that we should just get married. We were married just shy of a year of meeting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
He never brought it up with me but when we went to visit his parents for the first time I overheard him talking about it with his mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
a) NEVER, once joking/complaining though b) 6-7 months. But I was a hot thing with huge prospects back then and a ton of guys trying to get in line. Just a decade later... doubt anybody would propose me. So it's about timing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
He moved in with me after 3 months. I wanted him to pay his CC and student loans FAST, so told him to get rid of the rent and use my place. I was so busy back then that I was only using it for sleeping. It worked, within a few months his fiscal situation was in order. I remember closing 5 of his CCs. He was a MESS!!! And I was in finance/econ. Told him: "I'll NEVER marry a guy who is not a saver". So he had to become one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
»
A decade feels like it goes so quick, but it's not a short amount of time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
»
Very true!!! With kids, it goes on so fast... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
Yep, we are approaching our ten year anniversary this year. It feels like it happened very quickly. - np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
We dated casually for about five years, then were in different cities for three years, and then we had a talk on the phone about what we both wanted in the future. We both wanted the same things, so we decided to get married and get to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
i brought them up within a year of meeting. i think he would have eventually gotten married without my prodding, but at 87, and to a 22 yo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
It was something we discussed casually from pretty early on. Though not necessarily in the first few months. I don't get why you're panicked. Bring it up if it worries you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
We married within a year of meeting but didn't have kids for another four years. We didn't even talk about kids until we decided to TTC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
»
he proposed after six years. however, when we started dating he was 19. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
with my dh i guess instantly it began to come up casually like "when I get married...", or comment about a co worker "i would not want to go to x for my honeymoon...", ok with his apartment now but not "like when he is married with kids"... I dunno just comments, not like all the time or anything. Same way with a friend you know they want kids even though they never explicitly said "I WANT KIDS." I'd suggest just bringing it up casually like if you are at a restaurant and someone has 4 kids at their table be like oh man can you even imagine 4 kids?? So we never had a conversation explicitly like do u want kids, do you want to get married? but as we got to know each other more we actually talked about number of kids and marriage timing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
I dated DH for 6-7 months before I made it clear to him that I was interested in marriage. I told him I wasn't going to waste an entire year on a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. He proposed about month before 1 year anniversary. No kids since we are both CF (I made that clear on our 3rd date). If it weren't for me bringing up the subject, he would have just kept on dating me for years and years. You can't read a man's mind. Speak up or suffer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
»
Did you find it hard dating to find a guy who did not want kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a nagging suspicion that their pregnancy isn't going right? It's week 11 and I still can't keep anything down. I feel sick all the time and just miserable. I see the doctor soon but I'm worried I might hear some bad news. Anyone else btdt? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:55 PM Flag
»
I didn't have morning sickness, but I would take it as a great sign that the pregnancy is going right. You may have HG. I would see the doctor ASAP if you can't even keep water down. You don't want to dehydrate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:57 PM Flag
»
Op. Yes. Must stay hydrated. Today was hard as I threw up everything I put in my mouth. Exhausted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
»
No., my pregnancy was much more difficult than you. But I always knew that everything is going to be okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
»
Op. Okay. Thanks for all the responses. I just can't catch a break with this one. May I ask, what happened with your pregnancy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:00 PM Flag
»
I was pregnant with triplets. I went through CVS where they poke you multiple times to get the sample from fetus. After that I went through selective reduction. I reduced it to singleton because all of them were not going to make it. I had a firm believe that i am going to give birth to at least one of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Op. Wow. I am generally a glass half empty kind of person but maybe I could take this time to explore being more postitve. Thanks for your story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
»
Calm down, That's normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
»
lots of women are anxious about pregnancy but, IMO, nothing you are describing is a bad sign. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
»
This is not uncommon at all. I was sick as a dog until about 15 weeks. And I know lots of people like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
»
Op. Thanks for the response. The first dc wasn't this bad at all. I know each pg is different, but this one...is truly throwing me off. Hope there is relief soon. Work is a welcomed distraction but now the severe pain and nausea is creeping back during the day I can't even concentrate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
Each one truly is totally different. Also it's common for the second to be worse than the first bc of age and greater hormone sensitivity. I know it's a HUGE drag, but rest assured it's not a sign of a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Same here. Not unusual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
When I was pregnant, I remember reading that having severe nausea is a sign of high preg hormones which is a sign pregnancy is healthy! So relax, but def check with the dr to make sure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
That sounds like your standard pregnancy. What makes you think something is wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
Just the major difference between this pg and my last. Know each one is different but this has not been pleasant. Feel that for something so small it's causing a hell of a lot of pain, lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Don't worry. It's not a sign of anything except that you're pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
»
Being sick is a sign that your hormone levels are increasing. That's all. It has nothing to do with any sort of complication. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
This! Hang in there! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
»
I was sick as a dog all 3 pg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
»
it feels like shit. sorry. but when your baby is 6 months old you won't really remember it and you'll have a fun little human pet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
officially its 13 weeks *3 months before you can look forward to barf stop. that said my mom said she puked for 10 months and I puked for 4. there are no two pregnancies alike. maybe you have "toxemia" which is non threatening to baby but miserable for you. just make sure you keep SOMETHING down at some point of the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
[ - ] 16 yo dd has to move schools (from Canada to the US). She is, obviously, not happy. Any suggestions on how I can make this a happy experience? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
»
That's a tough age to have to go to a new school. Not sure what you can do other than to resist the urge to tell her "oh, you'll do fine after the first month of school" and things like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
»
Were there no other choices but to move? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
There are but it is best she moves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:21 PM Flag
»
I meant were there choices for the family not to move. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
You cant make it happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
I guess but less painful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
I did this when I was 15. It took about 3 months to find my group of friends. Does she make friends easily? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you ever find yourself writing a response to a post like "You could just kill yourself. Have you ever thought about killing yourself?" and then refrain from posting it? I just had this experience. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
Um, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
»
No, I really never go there. I don't really mess around with stuff like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm still bummed he hasn't talked to me. But at least I haven't made a fool of myself by texting him. And I deleted him from the app where we met. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:46 PM Flag
»
Are you the one who was trying to get second date with a guy. You texted him right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
»
Yeah. I just don't get it can't stop wondering why I'm not good enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Just gonna point out the obvious and say one can't live one's live through an iPhone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Np Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
Nm have fun with your applications and people and stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Grandma? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Think about it - what reason is there for a 30 year old guy to get married in today's world? It's a losing proposition for men. Women control 90% of the marriages I see, they choose when to work and when not to work yet control the family finances, they decide where the family will live, and will eventually begin to make nearly every decision that impacts the children. 48 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
Some people just love each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
Love will get you through about 5 years of marriage. After that things like respect and cooperation have to take over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:46 PM Flag
»
This x1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:55 PM Flag
»
OR: I agree to an extent, but I still love my DH after all these years. Can't imagine living with someone based simply on respect and cooperation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
»
Same here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
This is good comedy - with all of the talk about marriage equality and "traditional marriage", someone on one of the blogs dug up some newspaper editorials & op-eds from the early 1900s, in which people decried "love marriages" and said they would destroy the institution altogether. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Probably some upper class stuff where marriages were more or less arranged (even informally). My grandmother was married in 1916 and my grandfather had pursued her. There was no family pressure to marry a particular person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
I think you are exaggerating. Most marriages I know, both spouses decide where to live etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:44 PM Flag
»
This. Who are these other people? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
Many men marry to have someone do their laundry, cook for them, bear children and do every single thing for the children. And when she dies, they marry within a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
I don't get it though. It's much, much easier to just pay for dry cleaning and restaurants than to get married to take care of laundry and eating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Gosh, this sounds like the opposite of my family. I supported us for a long time, DH made a lot of the decisions about how we lived, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
I guess I don't see that in my circle. It's a lot of women who don't necessarily make outright decisions, but who so heavily influence the decision that the outcome is never in question. For example - the couple is looking for a new home. Husband says - I want to be in this town because it's 30 minutes closer to work. And wife says - yes, but this other town 30 minutes farther has a school I like better, and there is a supermarket nearby, and I like that I can walk to the park. I just don't think I could live in town A. No husband is going to force his wife to live in town A after that conversation, so his wife has essentially made the decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
But if it's a choice between Town A (that DH wants) and Town B (that DW wants), someone has to win/compromise. What would you say if the couple decided on Town A -- "the men make all of the decisions". People make choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
»
isn't that really joint decision making. I.e., I say I want to live in a particular place, my husband says no way, how about x which is better for several reasons. I either agree or we continue to discuss it to come to a compromise. The person who does more research on the decision has more information, and that person is likely to prevail in a rational discussion. Emotions count too, but in any decent marriage what both people think and want has to county equally much of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Maybe it's because I see so many guys who are clearly living lives they don't want. They live in towns they don't like, they go on trips they don't want to go on, they go to parties and events they don't want to be at, and then the minute they spend a few hours doing something they want to do on a weekend they get accused of being selfish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
That's men who married bitches who don't care how they feel. Poor sods. Or maybe that's the model from their parents' marriage? Or maybe they just enjoy complaining? I know some guys like this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
That is, on the one hand, they want to make their wives happy, but on the other hand they don't know how to engage in a rational discussion where they explain what they would like, and suggest potential compromises. So they give their wives whatever they ask, and then bitch about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Some men like to complain about what they consider their "princess wives" because it makes them feel good about themselves (ie. I married a princess, therefore she is high status, therefore I am high status.) "My wife just wouldn't stop bitching until I bought her the new BMW SUV" or whatever. It shows that they, the men, have value, because they picked a bitch who they feel is high-value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Then this is more a problem with their particular marriage/wife, then the institution in general. Did they marry the pretty marketing assistant who decided to retire at age 31? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
In general, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
»
My husband and I made all of those decisions together. In addition I have been supporting the family for the past two years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
my husband decides where to live because he works in academia and can't get a job just anywhere. he would also like a constant companion while he moves around every few years for work. if you ask me, he got a great deal and i'm the one who got a raw deal. go fuck yourself mra troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
Do you think he would leave you if you didn't move with him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
Spoken like an unmarried troll. My DH is treated like a king. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:55 PM Flag
»
How so? And don't say - because his laundry is done and his house is clean. That's my point. It would be much, much easier for him to just say - fuck it, I'll pay a housekeeper to do that stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
food cooked, things cared for to his liking, social life arranged, children brought up carefully with love and respect, etc. etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
Again, spoken like an unmarried troll. If that's what you think marriage is- getting your laundry done and the house clean but having to compromise on things like where you live, then perhaps for you, being unmarried is the better option. It almost gseems futile to explain top you things like companionship, having someone wholeheartedly support all of his goals and dreams, having a true teammate- someone who is always on his side no matter what, having someone who utterly adores him and wants him to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
»
Oh , I've been married for 12 years. I know what marriage is, and it sure as shit isn't having someone who "utterly adores you and wants you to be happy." You think married people wholeheartedly support each other's goals and dreams? Now who's being naive, Kay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Well, then I feel sorry for you, because 15 years later, I can honestly say I still utterly adore my DH and want him to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
»
This. I've been married 9 years and I wholeheartedly support my DH's goals and dreams and he does mine. But it would be out of character for him to say one day "I'm quitting my job to become a championship surfer." However, if he really really wanted to do it, we could strategize a path for that: we move to Hawaii, I find a job there, we build up savings, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:22 PM Flag
»
Not in my experience. Most wives I know will just say -no, we cant do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:32 PM Flag
»
+1. DH and I just celebrated our 25th, and while we're not gaga over each other, I can't imagine having anyone else like him as a life partner. DH got me through some tough times and I've been with him long enough to know him inside out. We're in this together. Do we have disagreements? Sure, but in the big picture he's the one and we work around minor issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
»
men benefit in more ways than just having chores done. Most men I know don't have a lot of common sense/not able to think about more than one thing at a time. It is very stabilizing to have a partner (DW) who provides that. Also, we listen to them when they talk about their days/problems, take care of the kids (many men want a legacy of kids), etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
people bring different gifts to the table. although my husband is a solid earner, he would never had made good investments with time and money that i was convicted of and that have certainly paid off for us now (i earn much less than him and currently in grad program now). investments in real estate, grad program, etc. that have enabled him to get promoted numerous times at work and have the best commute in the world. my dad always sayd that behind every great man is a woman, and he is right. i was very appreciative when he wrote about what i had done for him in his thesis. he made it clear his parents built his foundation, but that i had a lot to do with his success over the last decade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:03 PM Flag
»
The way I see it, it was a losing proposition for me to marry. I have to provide and take care of the kids + make most if the decisions. I guess it's how you look at it... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
This. It's funny that MRA trolls act like they're really giving women a big "eff you" by not marrying them, but besides the fact that no one wants an MRA loser, men report much higher levels of marital satisfaction then women do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
May a 30 yo man would like to be truly loved? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
I married my DH when we were young - 28 and 27 respectively... I loved my husband then as a 20 something, I love him now in a different way. He made our family extremely financially stable (BigLaw but wasn't making partner but was able to go in house at big pharma and has moved up quickly there) and is kind, a good and attentive dad, and a fair partner. Do we still bone 5x per week? no. Do I still want to passionately make out on the street? no. But he provides and loves me in the way a mid 30 something needs to be tended to. Also... 10 years in to the marriage, I somewhat agree with the above poster - its about being a good person and being respectful and fair in your marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
He believes in family etc. There are still a few old - fashioned men out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
+1 (and I think there are way more than a few). OP is the exception. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
np: Agree, OP is the exception. Men like this think that they are leading some sort of revolution, but it just feels like that to themselves because they're screaming to each other in an echo chamber of sorts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
there are guys out there who get married precisely so they don't have to make those decisions, they want someone else to manage their homes and families for them. Which is not how I like things, but for some families that works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Unless a man wants multiple children and/or a career in politics, there really isn't a reason to get married. Same for women. DH and I wouldn't be married today if we weren't citizens of different countries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
Or they just believe in marriage. Some people don't want to "shack-up". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
My DH and I have no children together and he is not a politician. Some people just like being married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
»
Maybe the guy wants kids and a mom for the kids and a family life that he is building together with his spouse and lovely mempries to look back on when he is in a nursing home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
[ - ] We need to find a new job for our very good sitter/housekeeper (she has worked for us for 15 years). She is a woman in her early sixties, U.S. citizen, wonderful with babies, paid on the books. Where would I put a classified ad for her? Are there any online NYC bulletin boards that are useful for this? Any agencies that people use? Thanks so much! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:39 PM Flag
»
Anyone? Help!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Care.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:50 PM Flag
»
Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
also sittercity.com the sitter will need her own email address to apply / get responses, but I guess you could set it up for her. But she has to actively search for jobs on the site and apply. same with care.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:00 PM Flag
»
My sitter isn't really an internet person. I don't think she even has an email. I was going to do it for her, at least until phone contacts were set up. Any way to do this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Just set it up under your email [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Annoying Persians on my Facebook talking about how western women dress. I feel like commenting "if you don't like it, why not go back to your shitty countries?" But I will restrain myself. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
How many Persian countries are there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
the cats have their own country, I hear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Hee, hee. Good one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:34 PM Flag
»
You realize Persians don't only live in Iran, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
There's only one Persian country. Sure, there are subgroups of Persians and people who speak Persian in other countries. I was just joking around with OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
Like I said, I said the Persians can go back to the countries they came here from. Iran, Afghanistan, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
Why are you Facebook friends with these people then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
What is their complaint? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Mainly talking about shorts and dress length. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
A topic often discussed by the non-Persians here... and yet still you come here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
Some cultures view that as a sign of oppression. That women are pressured to display their bodies for the consumption of men whereas they are covered and protected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:46 PM Flag
»
They are being awful and rude, and so are you. At least you're doing it in private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
How is she being awful and rude? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
I would tell him to watch shahs of sunset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:34 PM Flag
»
This was my first though, I am not sure it is possible to wear more revealing clothes than they do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
You should post a YouTube clip of mj to his page and time how fast he deletes it and you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
+1. I have Persian friends and even the 50 yos wear clothes that are skintight and lowcut! Must be some radically different Persian groups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
Really? People are on "YOUR facebook" bothering you about such things? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:37 PM Flag
»
Persian/Iranian women in the U.S. dress really well in my opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
Agreed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:44 PM Flag
»
Aren't these people you have chosen to have on your FB feed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
Do you not have friends who annoy you sometimes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
NP: Sure, but I don't think thoughts like them returning to their "shitty countries." They annoy me, I get over it or let them fade away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Oh please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
You might think that if the annoying thing they were doing was bitching about the customs of the country they choose to live in [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Easy solution: don't follow them anymore on Facebook. Good grief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] First world problem: I'm chairing a major fundraiser this summer, I'm much much younger than they have ever had chair before. A woman who has served as dinner chair off and on eons is seriously getting under my skin. I have tried to tread carefully around her, recognizing that she has known me since I was in diapers and it must be difficult taking direction from me. The problem is, she is not taking direction from me. Every other older patron has been encouraging and gracious. At meetings they have hosted they insist I sit at the head of the table, lead the discussion etc. The Dinner chair (who is in her 50s), directed me to my seat on the side of the table before taking the head and then leading the discussion despite mine and the development officer's agenda. Fine, no big deal but she simply won't take direction. I tell her I am concerned about the entree she suggested and ask that we get a few more recommendations from the caterer, she continues telling people that the entree is the one she chose with no feedback from anyone else, I asked twice more. A development officer and the president of the organization eventually stepped in there, that's what it has taken (they did this without me asking because they knew she wasn't getting the options the committee and I had asked for) and she is still fighting for her revolting entree. She's making unilateral decisions that impact the timing of the event and the decor. If this was a NY event I would simply bite back and make her understand her place but this is in my summer community. We will know each other for the rest of our lives and we are even distantly related. How do I gently but firmly make her back off? I've tried befriending her but that just makes her walk all over me more. We have a meeting coming up, do I risk a firm brief comment to publicly rebuff her? Ignore her and just go around her and change things with the caterers? I'm afraid that will lead to chaos. Help! And yes you can make fun of me too, I do know how ridiculous this all is! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:29 PM Flag
»
Can you ask advice of some of the more supportive ladies so it's more of a group against her thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
Thank you, last year the co-chairs didn't use her at all, the year before that it was a celebrity chair so I'm not comfortable emailing her (and i doubt she even knew what was happening during the planning of the event). I have an email out to the chair from three years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Why do you keep posting this, troll?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
I posted it once last night at about 1am and got very few responses so I thought I would try during the day. Normally it's a saner group this time of day. Not sure how that makes me a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
What is the crazy entree? Is it the only entree or one of several? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
A fish cake. The only option. Not crab. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
You need to decide (on your own) what the entree is and decree that is the decision with lots of people on the email and having these other higher-ups knowing about it in advance. A public declaration of your responsibility is necessary to shake up your older patron. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Thank you, I think I will just have to do it this way. Maybe put dinner as the final agenda item at the meeting and announce the menu before turning the meeting over to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
»
Why are you worried about the decor and the entree? If you're the event chair your job is to worry about the MONEY. Let her do the dumb party stuff and you worry about the sponsorships, the ticket sales, the raffles, the journal, all the actual important stuff. Trust me, you'll be highly appreciated by everyone involved when you show up at the post-mortem meeting and tell them you raised 30% more than last year's event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
Because if she gets more donors in, and they think event was awful, they may not come back. Signed, person who goes to more than a few of these things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
You go to these things, I plan them. I get it. But trust me, if they're doing it right no one will give a shit about the flowers or the food. The purpose of an event like this is to raise money and make friends. Not to have a party. It's super easy to engage donors with things outside of the regular old gala dinner and speech. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:44 PM Flag
»
I have all those things under control. We have several corporate sponsors and underwriters, our patron level tickets are sold out, and amazing auctioneer is flying up from NY. We are in great shape except for dinner and I'd like to fill out the silent auction a bit more. As the chair, i designed the decor and feel of the event. She is now getting in to rearranging the timing and undoing the decor which was expensive. They are also well beyond the scape of Dinner Chair, a title I gave her, not the organization. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Take control. Not by saying anything to her, but by making the decisions yourself, outside of any committee or meetings. Decide the decor, decide the food, communicate it to the vendors. No "asking" for things. When she complains, you are sweet and say, that's great, but this is the way we'll try it this year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:41 PM Flag
»
Terrible advice. She's the chair of a committee, not the fundraiser dictator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
That's exactly what the Chairwoman is. The under chairs make recommendations and the Chair or Co-Chairs have final say within the scope of what the non-profit has approved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
Maybe I don't fully understand the situation, but I am the gala chair for a major organization I volunteer with (albeit the Junior Committee, so a much more relaxed position) and when people make really bad suggestions, I just pretend that they can't be accommodated. The caterer couldn't come into our budget/couldn't accommodate the number, etc. If it's the caterer and the entree that was served last year, say you received less than positive feedback and you want to go in a new direction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
»
Exactly, that's how it works but not with this woman. I have said all of those types of things to her but she pushes right back. The President of the organization has actually had to get involved because the development team and I have had such a difficult time with her. You can't nicely redirect her or deflect her and I'm leery of having to actually snap at her with the needed amount to make her back off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
You are chairing the fundraiser. She is the dinner chair. Dinner has been delegated to her, so you let her do her job. If you think chairing the event is about having the best seat at the table and overriding your delegates' decisions, you are not ready to chair yet. By needing other officers to step in and exert authority on your behalf, you are also proving to the other officers that you are not ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions