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[ - ] 16 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first and not showing at all. I google 16 week bellied and all these women have huge round bumps. Am I abnormal? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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I didn't show until about 20 weeks and had a very healthy child. (And was pretty huge by the end) Every body is different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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22 weeks here, but I'm tall (5'9) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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Are you generally fit and thin? I didn't show until 20-24 weeks with my first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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^^^ also depends on high tall you are, and how high-waisted you are. If there is a lot of abdominal real estate, then the baby has plenty of room before your belly has to expand. I'm 5'7" and only gained 22 pounds, so never got really big until the end, and even then, not that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Did not show until 20-21 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Everyone is different. At 16 weeks I had a tiny bump. I started officially getting comments from strangers at around 19/20 wks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I NEVER showed. Only gained 23 lbs and I am 5'8". People just thought I gained a little weight. Doctor kept measuring me just to make sure. lol! She could not believe there was a baby in there. 7 lbs 10 oz. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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I only gained 20 and was showing at 12 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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you may be a lot more petite than I am. some people have fine bones structure, I am large. broad and generally "healthy" to use euphemism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Wow! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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You're on the small end, but plenty are like this. I was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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You're normal. I didn't show for a long time with my first, and was frustrated because I'm thin, but just looked bloated (no cute or obvious "bump"). I "popped" much earlier with my second. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Are you tall? I find this is common in tall, thin women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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I would think chubby people look less pregnant because the bump gets lost in the fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Just wondering if this is a normal way to deal with occasional pickiness with eating, for a toddler (19 months). He's normally a great eater - eats lots of different foods including different fruits and vegetables and has a great appetite. But obviously, sometimes doesn't want to eat what I'm serving or isn't as hungry as he usually is. My MO is to say "ok, no problem you don't need to eat, let's wipe you up and go play.." And then when he asks for food next time I offer him the same food (or something similar to what he was offered at the meal). I just don't think it's good to teach him that if he doesn't eat breakfast then he can get a snack at 9:30 (even if his snacks are pretty healthy anyway). But he's super skinny and petite - am I being too strict for such a small child? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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If he's really small I might be concerned. That's just me. I'm no expert. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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yes you are. He is 19 months not 19 years old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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So you'd just let him have whatever he wanted at 9:30 even if he refused a breakfast (that he normally likes) at 7:30? Instead of offering him breakfast again at 9:30? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Yes. You want him to eat, right? This is a phase. It will pass. Don't worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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I never had this problem. He had breakfast and then I went to work and he went to nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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NP: Did the nanny pacify him with goldfish and applesauce all day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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NP: Disagree - this is a great age to establish good eating habits. Incessant snacking and only offering "toddler-approved" foods are two of the biggest pitfalls that lead to picky eaters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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No you are being fine. As long as you aren't serving him daal one day and tacos the next and insisting that he eat whatever is on his plate (ie you are serving him something he ate yesterday) then it is fine. One DC is super skinny and the other isn't - they are who they are and your insisting on good eating habits won't do anything. And first DC was 3%-11% weight until he was 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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What happened after age 4? Growth spurt? Change in eating habits! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Funny you say that he'd prob love daal and tacos - took him for vegan Buddhist Chinese and he ate nearly everything put in front of him and asked for more, he's usually a super adventurous eater. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I agree with your approach in terms of not force feeding but maybe offer higher calorie options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I really don't like female doctors for anything except dermatology. Am I sexist? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Why not? Female med student here. Curious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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All the female doctors I've bad are uptight. The guys seem more relaxed. It sucks. I'm a WOHM and want to support women but I keep having bad experiences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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I've had good and bad experiences with both genders of docs. Love my female OB. Love my male gen prac. Love my kids' female ped. Love my male dentist. I think you are biased or haven't seen many doctors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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OP -- I have seen many many doctors. I have had bad experiences with men as well. Just can't remember ever having a female MD where I didn't eventually leave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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It's because women are super hard on other women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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I would never go to a male ob-gyn. Signed RN Mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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My obgyn is male. -med student [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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I used to be the same way and then I found a male OB that is a million times better than all of the female ones I've been put together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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I don't care either way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Female OBs have the worst personalities. Know it alls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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This is kind of true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Anytime you say I don't like {gender, race sexuality} yes you have a bias. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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I had a female derm; she always ran hours late; now I have a male derm. I have had a female GP; she was a walking HIPAA violation; now I have a male GP. I'm biased against lateness and incompetence. There -- I've said it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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Female shrinks are better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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I prefer to give my business to qualified female doctors. My mom on the other hand preferred male mds, that is until one told her that she should stop wearing high heel shoes because they are doing a number on her ankle. Now she asks me for referrals :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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I don't understand. She didn't like a doctor telling her the correct information about how terrible high heels are for your foot and ankles? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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I'm a doctor and I this is why I prefer male patients. The female ones are all idiots like the OR's mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Lolol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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You must have a great bedside manner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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And it's attitudes like that cause women to not support each other. Way to go! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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And it's attitudes like that cause women to not support each other. Way to go! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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She is a lady who likes to dress like one, she isn't going to be running around in sneakers. The male md didn't get the importance of wearing heels. It's not that difficult a concept to grasp. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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Agree. It's a bedside manner issue. The women want you to know how smart they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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I think you are picking up on subtleties with the women because you are also a woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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Are you a man? Or a teenager? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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I don't have a preference and yes you have a bias. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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Girls are good for paediatrics also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] This is driving me crazy, what is the phrase for old worn out stereotypes that is something like "tired cunard". 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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worn out canard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Doesn't cunard mean a-hole in French? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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No. It means duck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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No, canard means duck. Cunard is a 'curse' word. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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Wasn't Cunard the shipping line? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I are 37 and have two DC. I am aching for another DC, but am worried I am too old. Anyone have a baby at 37? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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Um....I had my first at 36 and have 3 dc, so no, you are not too old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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^^36, 38, 40 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Thanks, that made me feel better :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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I did. Do it!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Had one at 40, what are your questions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Were you nervous about the risks? Was it hard getting up at night with the baby? I was 31 and 33 with my first two and I'm worried that I'll have trouble adjusting to getting up again, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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Were you nervous about the risks? Was it hard getting up at night with the baby? I was 31 and 33 with my first two and I'm worried that I'll have trouble adjusting to getting up again, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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Had my second at 36. No one on this board thinks 37 is too old for a child, especially not a 3rd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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i had my first at 36, 2d at 40. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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first @41. 10 years ago. Perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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42, babycakes. Keeps me young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I have my first at 36, 2nd at 40 - it's urban baby, half the people here had their kids later than the national norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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36 and 40. Where are you? Most of my NYC mom friends are my age (or older). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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See like half the moms on UES had a child between 39-41 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:31 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o what exactly does "daddy issues" mean? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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woman who grew up being daddy's little princess, loved and adored and could do no wrong [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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woman seeking a father figure in her relationships [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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this. But could also refer to a woman who had an abusive father and struggles with having a "normal" relationship with a man as an adult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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you like older men because you were missing affection from your father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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why would missing affection lead to a sexual relationship with an older man? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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misplaced desire to replace the affection [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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It means different things to different people, I would say. But the general idea is that some women have unresolved issues with their fathers -- he wasn't there at all, he was too critical, he was too smothering/coddling. Whatever. Bottom line is that as a child they didn't get what they needed out of that relationship with a father figure. So the thinking is that some of these girls grow up and become women who try to get whatever it was they needed from their father out their romantic relationships. They tend to pick partners who are older, more controlling, who treat them as less competent than you'd expect an adult to be treated, maybe they "spoil" them and treat them like a princess. I'm sure you get the picture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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nP: all this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Discussed with a friend the possibility of putting dc in the same camp as her dc. I dragged my feet and wound up not signing up for the camp. She is angry and I understand. However, she asked me to keep her dc for a couple of days this week bc for some unknown reason. She knows that I also who. I am getting the impression she thinks I owe her after not following through on the camp. How should I respond to her? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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Wtf this is so weird [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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I don't get why she is angry. I'm confused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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She says she only put her dc in the camp bc I said I would put my dc in the camp too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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Wtf? Is she 12 years old? Lol this is nuts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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entitled [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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NP: I know someone who always wants their kid to be around my kid. She's actually told me on more than one occasion that my dc is such a good influence on her dc. The first time she said it I was like, ok thanks. Each time after that I find it more and more annoying. My dc shouldn't be your dc's crutch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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My older son is more mild-mannered, and another mom always wants her hyper son to play with my kid for the calming influence. It's not my son's job to be your kid's Ritalin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you tip dcs sleepaway camp counselors on visiting day? i know your technically not supposed to but do people still do it? if you don't give them a tip, do you give them another small gift? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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Yes, I always did [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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No, my ds worked at one of the top sleep away camps in Maine last summer and did not get a single tip. I asked him about it and he looked at me like I was from outer-space. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Lol "top sleep away camps" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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I do for the campes that it's ok, don't for the ones that say no tipping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't understand the WASP obsession on this site. I am about as old school wasp as they come. Happy to answer questions. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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One example of "wasp obsession" please, if you don't mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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There have been dozens of MP threads on things that wasps like or don't like, where they live etc. I can't imagine you been on here for very long if you haven't seen them. Then there are all the horrible NOKD/OKD posts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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These are not only wasp posts. There are plenty of non hymenoptera people that live well and are snooty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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What is the deal with triskets? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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Not a wasp, but triskets have only 3 ingredients, very little processing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Variations[edit] Original Reduced Fat Hint of Salt (low sodium) Deli-Style Rye Cheddar (currently discontinued) Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Fire Roasted Tomato and Olive Oil Rosemary and Olive Oil Garden Herb Parmesan and Garlic Roasted Garlic Roasted Red Pepper Roasted Tomato & Olive Oil Balsamic and Basil Rye with Caraway Seeds Dill, Sea Salt, and Olive Oil Tomato & Sweet Basil Coconut & Sea Salt (Summer Edition) Cranberry & Sage (Limited Edition) Thin Crisps - Original Thin Crisps - Parmesan Garlic Thin Crisps - Quattro Formaggio Thin Crisps - Sweet Chili Thin Crisps - Cilantro Herb and Chipotle Thin Crisps - Applewood Smoked Barbecue Thin Crisps - Reduced Fat Thin Crisps - Cheddar and Fine Herb Thin Crisps - Wasabi and Soy Sauce Brown Rice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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They are pronounced "triskwee" in the plural [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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It's not the obsession that Ub makes it out to be. They are good basic crackers but I've been to plenty of wasp parties without them. My Godmother who is one of, if not THE Grandam of Philadelphia never serves triskets but I have seen her serve wheat thins with brie. -OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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Sorry to burst your bubble but your grandma is not the grandma of philadelphia. She might mean a lot in your little world but I am sure I wouldn't shed a year if she were to die. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Grandam, not grandma and I don't expect many people in Philadelphia outside of that society would shed a tear or know who she was but she has ruled the main line for decades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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It's spelled triscuits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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The obsession is with wealth and privilege. This Interest and curiosity is not unique to UB. If you're old school but the wealth has dissipated, I suspect they aren't interested. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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How far back can you trace your family in the US? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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1624 on Mom's side, Mayflower on Dad's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Which NYC schools are the waspiest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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I would probably give it to St. B's, Brealerly, Chapin and Buckley. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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why am I so obsessed with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Hopefully you aren't! -OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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It's simple insecurity. (and the triscuit thing is some version of penn is a great state school...weird) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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Do you ever where designer labels, if so which? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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It's not about labels it's about quality materials and workmanship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Sure. It really depends on where I am as to if I wear designer things. In the country or in the summer I almost never wear anything designer. Even my bags or shoes are never more attention grabbing than Tods or Loro Piana but in the city I'm happy to rock some Delpozo, Charlotte Olympia and Fendi but I'm more likely to be wearing a mix of J Crew, Max Mara and theory. Oscar for formal events when I can afford it but also love CH Carolina Herrera and Marchessa Notte -OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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What kind of car do you drive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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Where do you vacation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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diamonds in the day, tacky or not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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Large Day Diamonds = Hooker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Small studs in the city, fine. Out of the city diamonds (beyond engagement rings) only at night. And never ever fake unless made to be obviously costume -OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Would you leave a group of 6 yos unsupervised at your country club pool, while you played tennis 10 minutes away? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you have an annual physical? Annual GYN / Pap smear? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:00 PM Flag
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No. Every three years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:01 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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This, but a mammo once a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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yes. and mammogram with sonogram [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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No. No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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almost annual [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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Mostly. Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Annual physical, every 2 years for the gyno. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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yes; i did until my gyn told me i could cut back to every two years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Separate but together running buddies...did you run this morning? I'm the former 6 miler with lead legs. I took the advice to hydrate before going out & wear a better fitting bra. Today's run felt better/easier! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:53 PM Flag
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That's great! Thinking of you this morning (I didn't run but I was there in spirit). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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Aw, thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Yes, very humid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:08 PM Flag
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I went very early so it wasn't too too bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Jewish moms: at what age did you start talking about anti-semitism and the holocaust with your kids? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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NP: Curious about non-Jewish moms too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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If you are my mother, from birth, also correlating every negative interaction to anti-semitism/holocaust. Out of melons at the store? Those Greeks hate the Jews! Toilet needs fixing? Better than shitting in an outhouse with 700 others. etc. etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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I will when anti-Semitism comes up. We discussed Hitler because my son asked. Around 7 years old or so. Not that I can explain Hitler... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:07 PM Flag
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It happened over time. When DD was six or seven, together we read the book "Number the Stars" about a young Danish girl who assists in saving a Jewish family in Copenhagen. Earlier this year, we watched "The Book Thief" which was similar (German family saving Jewish friend). Questions then came from there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
[ - ] MIL badmouthed me and DH to her sister, and then her sister just wrote us a nasty email saying how horrible we were because we didn't let MIL spend Christmas morning with us and our 2 DDs (even though we spent Christmas eve and rest of Christmas day with them). She just had a hysterectomy for ovarian cancer and FIL has dementia but the sister claimed we were the ones who have taken the light out of her eyes. I'm trying to figure out now how to move past this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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Why didn't the sister have your mil come over? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:52 PM Flag
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One big fat ignore. I can't stand intrusive people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:56 PM Flag
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ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:00 PM Flag
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Ignore the sister, but did you know she had ovarian cancer at Christmas? What stage is she? OC often has a very short time line,so maybe she saw this as her last chance to watch the kids open gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: she didn't have it then and now she has a clean bill of health. MIL/FIL moved by us and she started getting upset that we didn't include her in on everything, but now we know she was really bad mouthing us by the reaction of her sister. We talked to her about the email and she plays the victim that she had no clue about email and she's also hurt by sister. Trying to figure out appropriate boundaries [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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I have never heard that for OC. She is very lucky. Either way, she's allowed to say what she wants to her sister. You are, right? Her sister took it to an inappropriate level. It sounds like MIL is hard right now. I'd have compassion first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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*MIL's life is hard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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NP: I have a similar problem with my mom. She thinks she is included in everything we do. I was invited to an afternoon get together with my female cousins who are around my age. My mom called me to ask what time we were leaving. I told her I thought it was really for the 'younger set' and she said oh, don't be silly, I'm looking forward to seeing them. It's like this with everything. I feel like she is my shadow or parasitic twin...although I do love her :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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OP: I love in-laws too and have a lot of compassion for them. That's why we are helping them, but I feel like it's crossed a line and I don't want to be a door mat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Are you helping them because you want to be treated as a saint or because they need help? Honest question. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I totally get it. You need to be firm but warm. Perhaps say something like 'oh that won't work, but we'd love to...' when she suggests coming over/along with you so she knows it isn't that you don't want to see her or have her participate in your family's life, so you give her another option. Oh, and try to make the raincheck option sound even better than the actual outing/event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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I would bring it up with MIL that you received a nasty note from Aunt So&So and you are concerned about Auntie since she is emailing you about something that occurred 6 months ago. Then ask/explain...were you hurt by that, we love spending all C.E and C.D with you but the morning is really special for DH, the dcs and me, you understand, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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Your MIL is dying and her husband is already "gone" for all intents and purposes. Put yourself in those shoes for a moment and then evaluate how you will "move past it". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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OP: she's not dying. She is entitled to her opinions but when we're the only ones actually helping her with FIL it would be nice if she didn't tell people we were horrible. The repercussions now are that my husband will never talk to his aunt again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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That's his decision because it's his aunt. MIL is allowed to vent, especially with what she went/is going through, dying or not. You do, don't you? NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I would have agreed with you until recently, but I don't know. Sorry I think you are not the one with the problem here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I would forward the email to MIL and ask her if that's how she really feels. Make MIL squirm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O of the May December relatonship post... And I want to preface this post by saying I bring this up in earnest, I'm not trying to troll or provoke anyone. There are women who are exclusively, or almost exclusively, interested in older men - it's a predilection like any other, I guess. But I'm wondering when this starts? Were these women 13 and 14 years old with crushes on 20- or 30-something year old men? Not meaning celebrity crushes, here, I'm talking about lusting after your algebra teacher or the guy across the street or whatever. Anyone here have insight into this? I'm sorry if I sound like a moron or a creep. I'm actually just a mom with a kid who I'm worried about. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:48 PM Flag
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Six years isn't a huge difference for an adult. I would hardly classify that as an older man in an adult relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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I'm not talking about a 6-year age gap. 20-something wasn't intended to mean a 20 year old - sorry not to be clearer. But it's a matter of proportion. A 14 year old who's interested in a 28 year old, for instance. You can view it as a 14 year age gap and/or that he's twice her age. Inappropriate however you look at it for that scenario, but if you "translate" it to two adults you get either a 25yo and a 39yo (which will raise a few eyebrows) vs. a 25yo with a 50yo (which will raise a lot more eyebrows), but neither of those is genuinely inappropriate. But all of that is sort of beside the point. I'm trying to understand if the women who prefer significantly older men as adults were leaning in that direction as kids, or is it something that develops as you get older? Again, I'm talking about women who have an actual preference for much older men, not just a woman who's been in a relationship like that at one point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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IMO, many of them have daddy issues. there are exceptions of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:59 PM Flag
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NP: One friend had an absent and verbally abusive dad, the other had a wonderful father. But yes, it is not just random "You love who you love" when every boyfriend or eventual husband is 20% older than you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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NP: I have always had a great, healthy relationship with my dad. I have always been attracted to older men (usually 10-15 years older than me). My husband is just 6 years older. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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It's money. They're not into POOR older men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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np. OP is really asking about very young women, girls, who're attracted to inappropriately older men. I don't have a clue what the cause would be, but I doubt money is what's motivating an 8th grader to crush exclusively on adult men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:11 PM Flag
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I always found balding men sexy even as a teenager. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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Hi- 24 year old lower Manhattanite. Will answer this very honestly, please be reasonably kind and feel free to ask follow up questions! Exclusively interested in "older guys" currently trying to push myself down to the 7-10 years older range, been in a 15-17 year phase recently which is a bit too much. Grew up upper middle class/from an established but slightly fading $$$ wise family in the south. Parents both alcoholics were young when I was born. (Mid 20s; not anything weird just on the young side) That said both high functioning and attentive parents. Had/have a strong relationship w my dad who's been on and off the wagon for about 20 years. Didn't really date in high school. Knew I would date older. Many large age gap relationships in my family (up to 24 years). College BFs were 6.5 and 10 years older. Am attractive, fun, very smart, etc. none of my boyfriends have been poor, but less of a money thing and more of a stability thing. They're calmer, more predictable and honest. Also I am VERY attracted to greying hair and eye wrinkles the way my friends are attracted to muscles and that sort of stuff. Like intelligent convos, calmer life, no roommates, etc. will probably eventually marry someone older, hopefully 7-12 years older as I don't want to be widowed CRAZY young and am not excited (but okay w...) the second family thing. Does this answer your question. I'm bored at work, will answer more ??s if yall have them. Not easily offended. Never slept w a married guy (have dated divorced) pretty conservative in that sense; only have sex in monogamous relationships. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Same poster: had crushes on my friend's dad's in high school, not on other high schoolers. Did have crushes on high schoolers while in 7th, 8th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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Thank you so much for this response. Truly. Can I ask about your lack of dating in high school? Was that because you just had no interest in guys your own age? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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Of course-- no problem, I'm sort of interested in it also-- kind of an abnormal part of my psychology, hahaha. I think it was a combo of things-- I had very little interest in guys my age from an actual dating perspective. (Didn't want a relationship...) I was curious about kissing, etc (not really sex, at least not enough to want to experience it then...) but town was fairly conservative and super gossipy so that was sort of a no-go. I was also very insecure about my appearance at the time, which may have played into the way boys responded to be and the way I interacted with them. But no real interest in guys my age, ever. Didn't even have crushes on teachers as often as friends dads. Also had MAJOR crushes on dads I would babysit for. Would NEVER have done anything though, I have a pretty strong moral compass/respect for other people's relationships. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for suggestions for a relaxing, yet adventurous vacation in August with the family. Went to Costa Rica last August and loved it. Where to next? TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:48 PM Flag
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You're planning quite late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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I know. I always do, and it always works out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:52 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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That's usually only an issue if you want to save money. If she's willing to pay top $$, she'll be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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OP: I actually get great deals at the last minute. It's a big world. If you're open to trying new things, there's a ton of possibilities. I'm just all over the place with ideas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] What concerts are in youtube that are worthwhile? Watching Shakira's Rock in Rio in Madrid from 2012, it's better than being there!!! And: FREE!!!!!! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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There's one of Pink on Netflix. Very good!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:48 PM Flag
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I like watching clips (sometimes full length) of really old concerts like Janis Joplin when she performed in Toronto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:54 PM Flag
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Same here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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Even more so while I'm cooking dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Im so sick of up selling. I cant even get an oil change anymore without being oressured into a $50 unnecessary service. It wouldn't be so bad if it were actually beneficial but this is really just them trying to get money out of me for a useless service I dont need. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:34 PM Flag
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CSB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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I hope you said no. These businesses prey on women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:41 PM Flag
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puh-leeze [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:44 PM Flag
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I always take the extra service. I like my cars to work well. I will refuse the product at the beauty salon but yes please, give me a new filter and thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:42 PM Flag
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np: every six months some service guy or another tells me it's time for new windshield wipers. NO IT ISNT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:43 PM Flag
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Then just say yours are working fine. But honestly, when they do break and it is raining and you need them, that's fucking dangerous driving. I get mine changed about every other oil change [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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do you get your oil changed every 3 months??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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No like every 4-5K miles. I have more than one car so it takes me a while to get there between them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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Pretty sure I get wipers changed annually at a minimum, or if I notice they are not working so great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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try installing yourself. Super easy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:54 PM Flag
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I know what you mean, I just like the service. I can probably make my own coffee to go as well, but I like them to make it at Dunkin :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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they don't actually DO anything. they just say they did and charge you. signed : formerly married to an automechanic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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I agree, but I've put it in my head to just always so no to anything extra, even if it would be good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:44 PM Flag
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yup - it's like this everywhere. At the optometrist, it's "Do you want scans of your retina so that we can test the health and check for cancer? That's an extra $50." Then, at the dentist, "Do you want this test to check your gums? It'll be an extra $40?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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DH never had a cavity in his life and one dentist we went to said he did and put it in a filling. We switched dentists and he said no cavities and probably didn't in the one that was filled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 04:51 PM Flag
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How on earth would the next dentist possibly know that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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