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[ - ] Boy, am I glad I'm not married! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] BANNON IS OUT! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:43 PM Flag
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a few threads back [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:43 PM Flag
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ah. been busy. for the late afternoon crowd I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:44 PM Flag
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I know. First time news has literally kept me entirely off UB for the last several hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:44 PM Flag
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Saw that; so glad. He is anti LGBT and an asshole. The sneaky Pete here is Pence. Quiet as a mouse, waiting to pounce into the presidency and dissemination his brand of hate more diplomatically. Trump is a bull in a china shop [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] What to do with a 4 year old girl this weekend? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:41 PM Flag
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NY Botanical Gardens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:43 PM Flag
[ - ] What is Trump and family thinking now? Increasingly hated, isolated, enemies galore. How can this last? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:41 PM Flag
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It really can't. His businesses are suffering, charities are canceling events at Mar-a-Lago; entire Arts Council resigns, Infrastructure Council and CEO manufacturing council disbanded, this like the 6th or 7th major firing since inauguration, the Russia stuff is coming to a boil on two fronts (federal and NYC) ... blood is in the water after this weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:46 PM Flag
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He must be miserable personally and Ivanka and Jared are useless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:49 PM Flag
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I bet they go back to new york. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:50 PM Flag
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they'll use their kids school as a bs excuse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:50 PM Flag
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He will resign and say the swamp was too deep and too many people were working against him for him to succeed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Trump going to resign? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:38 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
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I think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
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The republicans are coming to the realization that nothing will happen while he is president and he will blame them for it. If they do it soon, they will have a year with Pence for health care and tax reform. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:40 PM Flag
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Doesn't Trump have to decide to resign? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:41 PM Flag
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He will be forced into it. That or the 25th amendment. He will happily lead his band of crazies from his tv network. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:46 PM Flag
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More chance of it happening at this moment in time than at any other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:47 PM Flag
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It's so hard to see how he can turn this around. Something pretty drastic would have to occur. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:48 PM Flag
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God forbid, Trump is NOT able to handle any national emergency! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:49 PM Flag
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That's what people are afraid of, but I don't know. Mattis/Kelly/McMaster seem to have a handle on things. I believe that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Divorced moms, how long after the decision until you felt somewhat normal again? I am going on 3 months and still a total mess (not my decision). I can't stop thinking about how messed up my life is and how I don't want this and I burst into tears constantly. I try to be strong for my kids but my heart is breaking for them at what their lives have become. I also blame myself for screwing up my marriage even though I didn't really do anything wrong (DH cheated). It's all such a mess and DH was always the sort of person I (and everyone else) thought would never cheat. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:36 PM Flag
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I am so sorry. Hugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
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survive then thrive. be kind to yourself. take the joy available in the moment. you will be in a much better place next year. exercise. sleep. get outside. i wish there was a quicker way, but it takes time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:40 PM Flag
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OP - thanks. I am struggling with the taking the joy, I always used to be the person who found joy in the little things but I've lost that ability. Also lost interest in most things I care about because they remind me of what I've lost (things like cooking, entertaining, going to dinner as a family). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:42 PM Flag
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my DC was young, but I spent a lot of time at the park, or at free concerts, or eating out, parent child yoga -- with people, but not people I knew well. I even went to church more regularly during that period of my life than any other. I don't know if it will help you or not, but for some reason it help me. good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Lunch date with DH: what should I choose? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Seattle/Portland 08.18.17, 07:35 PM Flag
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The salad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:37 PM Flag
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are you on the west-coast? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:41 PM Flag
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Stfu [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I have never purchased or tried contact lenses before. I really want to try now so where is a good place to buy them online? I have my eye prescription which only tells me the sphere and cylinder, is this enough info to order them online? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:26 PM Flag
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No, you need to go to an optometrist to have a lens fitting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:27 PM Flag
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^ there is a third dimension called a base curve. The doctor will look in your eye with a lens on to see how much it moves around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:28 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:33 PM Flag
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I wouldn't do this first. You have to have a fitting by an optometrist or dispenser. And follow up to make sure they are fitting properly. After that you can purchase online. They can cause ulcers, infections etc. So first time use a doctor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:30 PM Flag
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You need to go in for a fitting. My daughter just got them. Lens Crafters did a great job. We got the script and then ordered them from 1-800-contacts so much cheaper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:31 PM Flag
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NP: This is what I do too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
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I wouldn't skimp on eyecare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
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Costco [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:43 PM Flag
[ - ] I really want to travel far internationally but I hate traveling alone. I can't take my kids bc they are too small or in school when I can travel. I need a friend to travel but I have none who can go with me. This is more of a vent anything. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:24 PM Flag
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would you consider an organized group? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:25 PM Flag
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Maybe but I like luxury kind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:27 PM Flag
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Luxury is nice, but it often removes you from the local culture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:35 PM Flag
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I used to think that but there's locals in every style. Luxury might be locals as staff, or locals as guests, either visiting, or "staycation" if the country has a barbell of economic demographics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:40 PM Flag
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I guess to each their own. I like to feel a little uncomfortable or off balance when I travel. I find i learn so much more that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:43 PM Flag
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Explain more, to please. Uncomfortable how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:44 PM Flag
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or having to figure out local transportation versus ordering a car at the airport. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:47 PM Flag
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Like having to speak the local language with your airbnb host versus the english speaking hotelier [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:44 PM Flag
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I'm at the point where I can do anything. But it took fucking 50 years! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:27 PM Flag
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congrats. I hope to be there someday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:35 PM Flag
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How long were you thinking of traveling for? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:28 PM Flag
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Go with a group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:31 PM Flag
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Similar. After almost a decade of traveling alone for work or fun, I don't travel unless someone else invites me to. I haven't found inviting friends or family works. The groups I tried are ill fit: too young (20s and under, drunk, clubs) or too old (50s and up), and both are usually too slow too, and not the best organized (waste time sitting on planes, buses, etc. instead of just chartering for the group. Another example is routing to drive back and forth in front of the lodging and eateries instead of planning the route better.) I also have no interest in staying a 3 star hotel. I'd prefer better stars, or a boutique B&B. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:31 PM Flag
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I'm in my mid 50s and I could kick your sorry, coddled ass over 196 countries, about 128 of which I've seen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:35 PM Flag
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SP I don't doubt that you could. I met many impressive women in their 70s, 80s, 90s also traveling, hiking solo, or in groups. I traveled alone, I don't want to anymore. It's also not the most welcoming feeling when there's massive age gaps and other guests make comments like I might make about the teens and 20s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:38 PM Flag
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Google around. There was an organization for women traveling as singles. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Tarot mom, are you here? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:19 PM Flag
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Yes, I am :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:34 PM Flag
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I'm really in a funk today. What is going on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:35 PM Flag
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OK, I was going to draw just one card for you, as I usually do. The card I drew is the 9 of Cups, which is entirely about happiness and satisfaction. My take on it was that your life actually is very full and happy, but that maybe your expectations are too high? Every day isn't a picnic! To gain some more insight, I drew a few more cards... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:41 PM Flag
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Sorry! my life is nothing but happy and full. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:42 PM Flag
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The card that indicates your hidden feelings/attitudes is the High Priestess, reversed. This suggests you may be neglecting your spiritual life, turning too much attention outward. It suggests you need to nurture your sense of self and re-align with your core values. All of the other cards around you suggest strong, positive influences, so I wouldn't worry too much about a momentary "funk". There was one indication that you may have a toxic relationship in play, and that you are managing it by keeping your distance. Usually I think that's a wise decision, but this card suggests that maybe there is also some painful truth that you need to speak. Don't be afraid to be true to yourself here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] I've been feeling so down lately. This sounds silly but I feel like DH and I are not on the same page in terms of parenting our 15 yo. The dynamic is that he is the "laid back" parent who lets DC "learn things the hard way" and I'm the disciplinarian. I feel like his lack of support over the years has resulted in me feeling hyper-attentive to issues with DC because I can't count on him to notice and deal with things. And then I'm the "bad guy" and the "neurotic" one. I'm exhausted. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:16 PM Flag
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This was dh and I. I'm more laid back and dh is more into rules, not making mistakes etc. We had a lot of fighting back then b/c I didn't "back him up". It got very very combative at times. But now all is good. Hang in there. Try to see it from his side too. I think it's more common than you think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:21 PM Flag
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Thank you for this. I just feel so drained. How old is your DC now? How did you get past the issue with your husband? I just feel like he unilaterally delegates the hard parts of parenting to me (discipline, difficult conversations, enforcement, etc.). The irony is that our DC is a pretty good kid, but still has areas where parental guidance is needed. He seems to think that kids learn through experience and nagging is pointless; I think we still have the ability to enforce standards and rules. We're talking about things like time on social media rather than focusing on school work; "forgetting" to do chores; procrastinating when studying for a big test; more focus on social life and sports than on academics; etc. I know these sound like small issues, but the real issue is that I'm coming to resent DH's laissez faire, path-of-least-resistance style of parenting. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:27 PM Flag
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How does your disappointment with your DCs behavior affect the relationship you have with DC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:30 PM Flag
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When I bring up an issue, DC tends to get defensive. For example, he did poorly on the final exam last year in science. He said he would spend time this summer on review. He's spent *maybe* 2-3 hours on this. When I bring it up, DC accuses me of being overbearing and DH says "well, it's his grade." I think, well, no friends/phone (whatever) until you commit to a plan to review the material...but DH thinks it's up to DC to be proactive (or not). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:33 PM Flag
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Then you tell him he will not get into the college of his choice. he needs to learn how to motivate himself. In a way, DH is right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:36 PM Flag
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In this instance, do you think that revising his last year's final exam will be beneficial? Would he need more than 2-3 hours to do this? What would be different if he did revise more? In this particular instance, from my perspective, I would let the final exam from last year go. Anything else he should be doing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
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I guess my view is that he had some gaps in his knowledge (thus the low grade on the final). Next year's science class builds on last year's curriculum, so I'm worried that he's going to start the year behind. I know that you and poster above (and DH) have a point--this is DC's issue. But as a parent, isn't it still our role to provide direction when we see them screwing up? As for other things he should be doing, he's been okay. Took up an internship that he enjoyed, read a book or two...mostly hung out with friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:44 PM Flag
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How do you deal with him forgetting to do his chores? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:31 PM Flag
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I remind, I nag, I try to enforce a consequence...then I blow my lid and yell--and get accused of being irrational. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:36 PM Flag
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If your kid is generally good, then maybe too many rules aren't needed. I hate to sound trite, but my dc has some serious health issues and I always thought in the back of my mind that does something really matter that much? Would I really care if he spent an extra hour playing Nintendo if one day he wasn't with us any more??? I guess some perspective. Dh was a little right in the sense that too few rules makes a kid lazy and not so productive. Nagging is useless too. Once my dc was finally in college (those were the worst years just prior!) he changed too and became more mature and capable of taking care of his responsibilities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:34 PM Flag
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I hope this will be the case. I don't think that he needs lots of rules--overall he's a good kid. But I see some signs that he's going to have a rough time in some ways. He puts things off and generally underestimates the time/effort it will take to accomplish something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:45 PM Flag
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Devils advocate: if you look deep in your heart to you ever question your approach? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:23 PM Flag
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Yes. I try very hard to walk the line, but recognize that I can be heavy handed. I just feel like I could temper this tendency in myself if I had confidence that DH would step up to the plate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:30 PM Flag
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He needs to do his part. Sorry about this. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:35 PM Flag
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Example? Just be aware, in a few short years, your DC will be in college, and will have to rely on his own compass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:24 PM Flag
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See above. Generally small stuff, but I'm sick of being the family nag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:30 PM Flag
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The most effective parenting I've seen is acting as more of a coach rather than imposing "rules". DC will be on his/her own soon and needs to have internalized the good advice rather than the rules. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:27 PM Flag
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I agree with this. I'm not advocating rules as much as some balance. I feel like I'm forced into a more draconian position because DH's idea of "coaching" is to pretty much let the chips fall where they may. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:29 PM Flag
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The way you describe DH, is that he isn't coaching but being a lazy parent (laissez faire). There is a difference. DH should pull his weight. DC will internalize it as DH doesn't care about him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:33 PM Flag
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I think the problem is that DC and DH are similar temperamentally, so it's like they're on the same page with me on the outs. DC knows DH cares; my bigger fear is that I get cast in the role of bitch/nag/heavyweight while DH gets to be the laid back, "live your life" parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:37 PM Flag
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I've always been the nagger, the planner, the discipline person, the school strategist, the social life and sports person. Kids seemed to have turned out well, 17 and 15 but the marriage kind of died. Just too much work for all of us. I also work as a Dr and make the most money. Exhausted from it all. DH has been like a 3rd kid at times. But he does the heavy lifting when it comes to nearly everything else. Cooking, dishes, laundry, driving, homework help if needed (rare), paperwork, financial crap, car stuff, home maintenance, tax strategy etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:32 PM Flag
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One of my best friends was the ultimate nagger. Her kid went to college, did no work, flunked out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] State scores still not out for math and ELA, just saying. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:15 PM Flag
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Yeah, we all know that. It's next week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:21 PM Flag
[ - ] “I don’t think everybody who likes him is a Nazi, but everybody who is a Nazi sure does seem to like him.” Jon Stewart 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:13 PM Flag
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This nazi stuff is so over like russia [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:19 PM Flag
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Please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:27 PM Flag
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This Russia and Nazi stuff is so not over. Suck it up, it's going to go on and on because there is so much of it to uncover. he is in over his head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:37 PM Flag
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Except you're still here. Letting us all know that Russia is still very much a thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone made the move from NYC to Brooklyn? Are you happy and loving it, or do you miss living in the city? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:07 PM Flag
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Umm brooklyn is in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:14 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:15 PM Flag
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I think Brooklyn is nyc - you mean Manhattan to Brooklyn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:15 PM Flag
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Yes, sorry meant Manhattan to Brooklyn, and to a more popular area like Brooklyn Heights, Carroll Gardens, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:17 PM Flag
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"more popular" - omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:22 PM Flag
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Why omg? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:23 PM Flag
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All neighborhoods are "popular" - you mean among a specific type of person, in which case you should be more clear. Sounds like you don't know anything about Brooklyn either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:42 PM Flag
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Brooklyn is h-u-g-e...depends what vibe you're going for. Red Hook to me is fun but not yet a place people live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:16 PM Flag
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Brooklyn is one of the boroughs in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:16 PM Flag
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You know when I was in Brooklyn, I moved to NYC and back to Brooklyn. I did it without even moving and didn't miss anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:17 PM Flag
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Has anyone moved from the US to NYC? I thought I might try it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:18 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else applying to K for 2018? Just looked at the Dalton app and it doesn't have an essay... I thought they all did, no? Maybe I am missing something? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:06 PM Flag
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An essay for a 5 year old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:15 PM Flag
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yep, fairly standard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:18 PM Flag
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The parent write the essay, not the 5 year old, well maybe in the case of Dalton the kid can write it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:46 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to support women working. One way I can do that is to choose a female practitioner (put my money where my mouth is!) like a chiropractor, dentist, etc. Sadly I haven't found any that are "as good" as the male options. How do I discern this is MY issue (am I so used to seeing a male doctor that I am biased?) VS. keep shopping to find the right woman? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 06:56 PM Flag
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In many professions (and markets) men have more experience than women because it wasn't viable or encouraged for women to work, so it's possible that your options are experienced men vs. less experienced women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 06:58 PM Flag
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I always choos the best doctor regardless of gender. My PCP, OB/GYN, and another specialist are female. My children's PCP and specialist are female. Our dentists are male. I did my research. Not very difficult in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:02 PM Flag
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Sadly not in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:03 PM Flag
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I live in Chicago and a female dentist, GP, pediatrician, neuro and endo (for D.C.) What is it you don't like about the women practitioners you have seen? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:04 PM Flag
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*have a female... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:05 PM Flag
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That's great! Thank you! 5 Chiropractor and 12 RMT aren't as strong, aggressive (and yes, I give that feedback and try again). 3 acupuncturist are drama, and don't let their admin handle appointments (I love self check out, grocery delivery, order online, so I like simple, self booking or easy booking); sometimes have that issue with RMT too. 4 Female therapist counsel "don't have sex with your husband" and a carousel of topics each session, whereas 2 male encourage affection, and focus on resolution before springboarding into another issue. When I read over my reply, it seems objective and not misogynist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:24 PM Flag
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All my doctors are women. They are terrific. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:16 PM Flag
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keep looking...I find this hard to believe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:16 PM Flag
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OP Thank you. This is what I need. Encouragement to keep looking! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:17 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:17 PM Flag
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There are some areas I definitely prefer a woman like Pediatrician, dentist, OB/gyn, optometrist. Other areas I don't care. I think their hands are smaller and are more delicate. I see men with big, goofy, fat fingers and I think they can't hold small or surgical tools as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:17 PM Flag
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Almost all doctors I have had were women and they were amazing. I don't get your issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.18.17, 07:49 PM Flag
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