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[ - ] Good morning! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 07:48 AM Flag
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Good morning fellow insomniac. What are you doing? I’m watching Fleabag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 07:53 AM Flag
[ - ] DS (6) has a friend who is having a hard time at the moment. we love the kid's parents and would love to think of a way to cheer the kid up/ generally be supportive/ have the kid know we are like family to him too. For some reason I'm kind of blanking on ways to do this that are not weird. Any ideas welcome! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Host them for a family dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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It’s hard to advise without knowing the situation, but maybe take him on outings. Could be something simple, museum and ice cream, burgers and a movie. It might take his mind off whatever it is and he’ll know you love him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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oh i love that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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My friend had my child myocer for amovie night and made a bunch of gluten free desserts because my ds was on a gluten free diet at the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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That is super cute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Yes, she is awesome. Love her! I was so touched and my ds was so happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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take them to the transit museum or something fun like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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Coney island! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Reality check. FYI. We don't live in NY. I'm hosting my out-of-town mom and two nieces for five days. I have two boys who very active. My brother lives nearby and has two children. His youngest screams non-stop and can't share. She hits her sibling, a brother, and doesn't listen. I'm exhausted. I've cooked non-stop for everyone, we've gone boating and I've prepared all of the meals, drinks, brought towels, sunscreen for everyone, etc. Tonight, my brother asked if his two kids could sleep over with all of their cousins. Neither kid listens to me and one has severe asthma and throws up if he can't control his coughing. I said it is too much - we should do it another time. My brother got upset with me and sort of stormed off. His kids threw a tantrum that they couldn't sleepover. He then promised to bring them back in the morning to hangout. again. He said how early can he come over? 7? ! I said no way, my two nieces are teenagers and sleep until 10. So he said, OK, I'll come back at 9. I'm upset. What is this? Can anyone else see how insane this is? I do all of the work, planning, coordinating, shopping, cooking and then I'm supposed to host 3 out-of-town guests plus my niece and nephew who live nearby? Am I crazy to be upset? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Ugh, it's a novel... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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Your brother is being a dick. Tell him no and that's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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+1. Tell him you’re happy to send all of the kids to his house for a sleepover. People will walk all over you if you act like a doormat. You can’t do anything about the people you volunteered to host, but you can absolutely call/email your brother with a list of groceries/supplies he should be bringing with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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He doesn't have the space for all of the kids. When he was married and had a house, he still never invited us over (his ex-wife wouldn't allow it). Now he lives by himself in a 2-bedroom apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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kids could still do a sleep over-fort/camp to style. If not, tell him to plan the day tomorrow- bring food, towels, sunscreen and take all the kids to beach/lake and watch while you nap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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You're not but you have no one to blame but yourself. Boundaries are good. Set some. I imagine you must be the enabler of the sibling crew and people are taking advantage of you. This dynamic won't change unless you do. Good luck. Tell him he's welcome to host all the kids for an activity and set the time that is convenient for you and ask him to pick them up. Then let him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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It's true. I have 3 brothers and I arrange everything. That's a great idea to have him host a kids' activity! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Text him and say no, bring the kids back later - at noon and with money for lunch. This is on you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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this!! please do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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You have every right to be upset, your brother is dumping his kids on you to get a break from them, stick to your guns and say no and tell him you will see him in the afternoon tomorrow, stand up to him even if he gets an attitude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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I'm so annoyed. It's Father's Day tomorrow and now I'm going to have all 6 cousins here for breakfast at 9 a.m. I'm venting. I think I'm going to send them all out for breakfast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Of course send them out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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A lesson I wish more women here would learn: stop giving into the temper tantrums that men throw. If they get upset it REALLY isn't your problem. Stop trying to help them when all they want to do is be emotional. Life is better when you treat annoying men the same way you treat annoying women. Find your backbone and say "fuck off". If they throw a fit? Cool. Throw a bigger one and make them regret even bringing up the topic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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I understand his kids feel left out. Tell brother you'll bring everyone over to his house and he can host everyone sleeping at his house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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I did feel bad they felt left out. See above. He doesn't have the space. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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And this is why I hate houseguests. DH doesn’t get it of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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It's five days and they're kids and want to be part of the fun. And I know, I know, it's not fair, men don't help, way wah. But that's what women do. Without us, there are no childhood family memories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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"Without us, there are no childhood family memories." Speak for yourself. I'm sorry that you're surrounded by loser men, but that's not everyone's experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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I wouldn’t be comfortable looking after someone who has severe asthma. Too much responsibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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That's what I told my brother. I can't be woken up in the middle of the night if he's having an attack and feel like I'd know how to handle it. And he throws up if he can't catch his breath so I would really panic. It's too much. And the 5-year old still wets the bed occasionally. I feel guilty, I do, but I've been arranging and planning things non-stop since they all arrived Thursday at noon. It's just too much. I hated the way my brother made me feel bad for telling my nephew that the can't sleep over. My nephew was yelling at everyone and accusing us of things, etc. Then my DH, instead of backing my up, says, wow, he (the nephew) was really upset. Really?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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ok but why is your dh not helping you host? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 04:52 AM Flag
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How about you tell him you’ll be happy to drop the kids off at his house [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 05:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Can you make private for two work for High school only if you make 750k per year and your housing expense is around 5.5k? Single parent. Seems like yes. 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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Sometimes what you people post here just turns my stomach, this is one of those posts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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you have reading comp issues [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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you have financial comp issues [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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+1. How can everyone really be misreading this post?! OP is asking if the only way to make it work is to make that much money and pay low housing costs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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It isn’t really as simple as you make it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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In the years you are paying it (assuming twins), you could still save $100k. Unless you have zero time before HS to save and your income will drop drastically before you finish paying for college, then yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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Of course if it's a priority and your income is steady. Housing costs are around $70K, figure another $40K a year for food and incidentals, if you want to make private a priority for two it's around $100K a year. That's only $210K. Plenty left over to invest, save and spend as long as you know how to handle your money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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So you warn 750k but can’t do basic arithmetic and figure out your priorities? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Earn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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How can you make $750k//year and not be able to figure this out. What do you do to earn this kind of money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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Is everyone reading the same post? OP is asking if the only way it can work is if you make $750k and have low housing costs. OP is not say s/he makes that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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That's not how I read it: "If I am only going to send my 2 DC to private school for HS, and I make $750K, can I afford private school?" OP, can you make this clear? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Does not read like that at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Op: I am prepared for criticism. I meant could I send them to only high school private (as opposed to their entire education) if I make 750k and have lower housing cost. I have only done public and with childcare and other expenses it seems like it would be a stretch to do it on My income and save for retirement and college. I haven’t always been making this so savings are ok. I don’t think I could do it with the childcare expenses I have now but by high school those will mostly be gone. Kids are actually one year apart. I guess I wonder more “would you” go private. It would be such a large percentage of my take home. I’m just scared of the high school admissions process and also can’t see how commuting is doable. Are there any private schools that are less than 50k? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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In Manhattan only religious schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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No. Save your money for retirement, college and to help them out after college. Don't waste it on private high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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I am worried they won’t get into a good school and I don’t think I can commute as a single parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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They will commute on their own, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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Yes. I am saying I don’t think I can commute from Suburbs. I would never see them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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Do you live in the suburbs already? If so, then do you have to worry about them getting in to good schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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If you live in suburbs, consider an au pair to handle early mornings and after school until you get home when they are in high school, but get an older au pair, not a 19 yr old one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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Sorry I don’t. I am saying as a single mom I can’t move to suburbs for good public schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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I would strategize your application choices for public hs then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:20 AM Flag
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There are no guarantees. Of course I’ll maximize my chances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:24 AM Flag
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do you have to stay in NYC legally and/or for your job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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And how would they get to school, home for school? And to activities? It seems logistically impossible [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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I would get an au pair if I were a single mom in that situation, there are au pair boards at dcurbanmoms and some of the parents are single moms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:16 AM Flag
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I currently have about 2.3 mm net worth. College savings though are only 100k total. Kids going into 6th and 7th. I could do one in private not both. I am saving like crazy now even with child care expense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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Your college savings are low. I would figure out how to make public work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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Yes they are low. Net worth include real estate. I plan on increasing college savings by 150k over next few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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Iam just saying to save your money to help them out later because I think it will be worth more to them. And as a single mom you cant assume that their father will help with house down payments or grad school expenses, that sort of thing. If private hs were 20k each that would be different. The costs will be even higher by the time your kids get to his, and even have higher still by the time they graduate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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I totally get it. I just think the HS process seems daunting. Does it work out for most smart kids? I have one smart kid (above average intelligence)!and one probably gifted kid but he has some learning stuff that affects his performance. Does a smart kid that is motivated and that has some tutoring and a focused parent usually get into a good school? I’m not sure he is a SHS kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:29 AM Flag
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I think if he has a IEP/504 it actually increases his chances of getting accepted. s/n is a separate pool or with more priority. I would research that and get whatever documentation and accomodations you can in place now so he gets that benefit in the process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:58 AM Flag
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np -- You need to have minimum $450k saved (preferably in 529 accounts in your name) by the time the older one starts college. Figure it will cost $80k/year for 8 person-years = $640k for the two of them. The $190k balance you can pay out of your income contemporaneous with their college years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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And i could save another 100k in the high schools years. If I knew I would make my income for at least the next ten years it would be fine. They would start college with each having 175k in savings. So I would have to fund another 400k over four years, maybe less if they worked some. I just worry so much about high school in this city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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Would you consider boarding school? Same price and more likely that they may get some scholarship [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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They could get a scholarship to boarding school even if they don’t get into a good public high school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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I don't think so at your income level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:12 AM Flag
[ - ] I make a good salary - even by UB standards - but the people I work with are SO IRRITATING that I end up stressed out all the time. Any tips on how to deal? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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I just remind myself that it's just a job and that I'm not going to let people at work make me crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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It sounds as if you are the problem, not them. Even if you change jobs you will be miserable there as well, change your attitude, perhaps? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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Pay them more money, give them resposibility, a real path for advancement = improvements for everyone affected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:47 AM Flag
[ - ] I hate Olivia Colman's character on fleabag so. fucking. much. Which is funny because I also hated her character on Peep Show. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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i think you're supposed to hate her on fleabag. i hated her on peep show too because she was so wishy washy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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Watch The Night Manager. You’ll love her on that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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Oh, I've been meaning to watch that! Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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That's a testament to her acting. That is a great character. Know people like her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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+1. She reminds me of someone I know and dislike intensely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 04:09 AM Flag
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Love her on broadchurch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:57 AM Flag
[ - ] How do I make mom friends at a new school? I failed this at her pre-school for the last two years, and realized at the graduation how many of the families got really close in the last two years. I work full-time, but have tried to be involved in school a bit. DD just got into a great K-12 school and incoming K families are starting to organize events. I want to try to make more of an effort this time around. Any advice? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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Make more of an effort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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When you are at pick up, drop off, school events, birthday parties. Make an effort to introduce yourself, really learn names and ask a few questions about them such as if they live nearby or have other dc. Try to talk to every parent at least once. Smile. When you and your dc hit it off with a family, tell them your kid really likes theirs and that dc would love to meet at the playground sometime. Repeat until friend is made. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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Quit your job so you have time to talk and text all day and go on walks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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No need to be rude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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But it’s true. Those are the women who have time to socialize [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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find a parent in the class that you can relate to, who seems well-connected, and invite her/him out for coffee on a saturday morning early in the school year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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What? No. Socialize with kids. This is for your kid - not for you to find a friend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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And who wants to meet for coffee on a sat morning? No parent! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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Disagree. Too weird and parents with little kids are much too busy with family stuff, kids activities, birthday parties, etc on a weekend morning to go have coffee with someone they don’t even know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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so awkward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Once the school year starts have your kid initiate play dates. Volunteer for something manageable at school. Invite an entire family over on a weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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In our school there’s so much trash talking and back stabbing I’m grateful to have a busy life and career. My advice would be to take it slowly, you’ll find your peers in good time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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The biggest trick here is to find other moms that work. It is very hard to break into the Sahm . I didn’t work and my friends didn’t either so it was nothing personal just time. I became friends with some full time moms that my kids were friends with . I would suggest skiing to solidify the friendships . It can be just overnight and is fun. But my sis works and she found bonding with other full time moms the best . She made plans on weekend with them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I’m a SAHM and would help out my working mom friend by picking up her daughter and bringing her home after preschool for lu ch and a play date. I think friendships across SAHM and WOHM can be great, but both sides need to be willing to be a little vulnerable too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 09:30 AM Flag
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Go to the mother's night out things. I really had to force myself but I think that's the situation where you can get a good read on people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks everyone- there are some good ideas here I can try. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:32 AM Flag
[ - ] DS has always been a bit off socially and never really participated in things. He finally has friends and socializes and has some ECs. It takes getting used toon my part not to intervene and micromanage. He’s 10. I’m having to adapt to a whole new parenting experience. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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Congratulations! You’ll get used to it :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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There will be many parents that are hyper involved in managing social connections at this age. Empower him to make plans... to the extent that he gives you ample time to arrange logistics since he does not yet drive. But stay out of the connecting and management. He will be better for it and you will avoid the nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:54 AM Flag
[ - ] How hard is it to get into Fieldston for middle school? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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It will depend on your child, but I know for high school it's really difficult. There aren't a lot of openings and it's a popular school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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What about the other two hill Schools? is riverdale any easier? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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Riverdale has more openings and is the easiest of the hill schools for admission. Horace Mann's grade with most openings is 6th grade, but they are looking for top students. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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So fields ton doesn’t have a lot or 6th grade spots? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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They used to have it on their website, but I don't see it now. For high school, I think it was about thirty-five students and for 6th grade they admitted about twenty students if I am remembering correctly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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I am thinking about the hill schools. Don’t think Horace Mann is an option. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:25 AM Flag
[ - ] We bought an apt that has toilets where you need to hold the flusher down for a while in order for the toilet to flush properly. I usually tell guests this, but would it be really tacky to put a sign up that says the toilet flusher handle needs to be held down, for like 5 seconds, in order to properly flush. What would the wording be for such a sign and where would I put it? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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^toilets are TOTO brand. very small water capacity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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replace your toilets for gods sake.. this is not France [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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I know. I know. I will look into it. All of our bathrooms have these toilets and it drives me crazy to hold the flusher down for a long period of time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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I think most guests will figure it out without the sign. But to answer your question, yes a sign is tacky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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They don't figure it out, especially if I forget to mention it. I wouldn't think to hold down a flusher for 5 seconds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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^They tell me my toilet isn't working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Who cares? Are you hosting the Queen. If you have guests, just make a sign...it can be in calligraphy in a small frame. Not too difficult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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what would the wording be? Guests include my children's friends, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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“Hey Sucker, Hold Flusher”. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 07:26 AM Flag
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Haha, all these people worrying about what is tacky. Yes, put up a little sign. It doesn't have to be huge. I would appreciate it, myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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THIS!! Seriously, put up a sign. MUCH more tacky expecting your guests to have to come out of the bathroom and ask how to flush the toilet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Annoying. Get new toilets if you can. We have Toto and that is not an issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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I would put up a kitchy cross-stitched sign, and would not judge anyone who had such a sign in their home. In fact, when my kids were younger and we would have gatherings for their friends, I’d put up a little sign in our powder room. We have a toilet that flushes by lifting a little knob on the middle of the back of the lid and I felt bad for all the embarrassed kids asking how to flush the toilet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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I actually live overseas and our toilets are like this, which is annoying. However, I don't have many American guests, but when I do, I just warn them when they ask where the restroom is. If I had many guests, then I would probably put up some funny, cute sign about holding it down, and I wouldn't think it was tacky since I'm sure that most people know that you generally can't control the toilets in an apartment (without spending $$$). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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A guy needs to solve your problem with the toilets: The flapper is not balanced or the chain is too short. Easiest remedy is adjust the chain; adjust/replace the flapper; install a flush out (toto uses a 3" flapper). Korky brand kit or any other will work fine. DYI is about 20 minutes max, s a 30 second job, repeat as necessary to get the proper chain length. See, youtube (Korky or toto) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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A guy needs to solve your problem with the toilets: The flapper is not balanced or the chain is too short. Easiest remedy is adjust the chain; adjust/replace the flapper; install a new flush kit (toto uses a 3" flapper). Korky brand kit or any other will work fine. DYI is about 20 minutes max, it's a 30 second job, repeat as necessary to get the proper chain length. See, Youtube (Korky or toto). Guy here says good luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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BTW, appears to me that the building maintenance people are trying to make themselves useful and valuable. This is improper installation . You can fix this your self. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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The kit is a maximum $25 (standard kit for a normal toilet). You can use pieces of the kit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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My sil has sign about her toilet in her powder room. It says you have to hold the handle down through the full cycle but in nicer language. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:06 AM Flag
[ - ] I want to whiten my teeth. I have never done this before, should I do it at a dentist or buy a kit from the drugstore? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:24 PM Flag
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I've done both Zoom at the dentist's and Crest White Strips. Zoom works much better, naturally, but it is expensive and also made my teeth very sensitive for a couple of days. I would do it again though. The white strips worked to a lesser degree, but it's a nuisance to have to put them on every day for 30 minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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how much did Zoom cost? How long? NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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$600, about an hour in the chair -- maybe an hour and a quarter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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First try brushing with charcoal powder for teeth whitening. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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charcoal damages teeth [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 04:16 AM Flag
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Whitening strips and zoom too. Yellow is natural color of teeth for many people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 07:30 AM Flag
[ - ] This place drives me crazy sometimes but I want to thank all of you on here. This school year has been a very tough for me. As you all know, I was working with the teacher would not leave my classroom. I have a new classroom now. I absolutely love it. My principal is so much better than the crazy one who I worked for before. My chair person is awesome. I just want to thank you all. It was really a rough year for me. For those of you who commented on my post, thank you. I’m in a better place now E 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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I have followed your story and am just delighted for you to hear this update! You deserve to be treated with respect and I’m so happy your situation improved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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Thank you:) I feel like all of my stress has been alleviated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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PP Yay! This place can get bitchy but I have also received wonderful support and advice here so keep coming back. I also appreciate when my “friends” post updates. Wishing you all good things! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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I am so happy for you! I am the one who pictured santa Claus circling you on his sleigh whenever you posted. It is such a ridiculous image, but I was sure something better was waiting for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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And I am not remotely in tune with anything psychic whatsoever. I never see things like that. It was weird! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:02 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a drama queen teen dd who takes so much out of the family with her hi maintenance. Can’t wait fir her to go away for summer camp. How do u deal? Ignore? I just had her start therapy for other issues but this one is so exhausting. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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I don’t negotiate with terrorists. Lol It is a trying time, for sure. Therapy will help her. I also have talks with my dd about consideration for others being an important life skill and she should start practicing with people who love her because the world is intolerant of self-centered jerks. My kids also know I do not make empty threats. When I say we are leaving in 10 minutes, they know they will get left behind. That is generally a consequence they experience only once. Good luck, friend! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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I literally came her to say - don’t negotiate with terrorists. See someone beat me to it. Decide what you’re going to tolerate, and what not, and stick to it. Don’t let her push things to a point where you give in and she wins by default. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 05:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Can any apartment dwellers here tell me how many BTU needed for a window air conditioner for a small bedroom? TIA I'm so clueless but need to buy one. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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It's by the square footage, how many windows the room has, which direction it's facing (because south gets way more sun heat than north). There are online calculators for this. You can't buy less than 5000 btu unit which I think manufacturers are assuming is the average small room of 100-150 sq ft. I heartily recommend a remote control feature. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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5000 BTU will cover a small bedroom with regular ceiling heights. Get the dimensions of the room and take that to the store with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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It's best to have too many BTUs than too few. I think at least 7000 BTUs for a small room. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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op. Thank you all! I've got it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Still op. I have a small guest bedroom which is where my older son(s) stay when they come home, but the AC unit in that room clunked out. They won't be here until August, but I'm buying the unit now to let them do the work when they realize how hot it is in that room. They can take out the old one and put in the new one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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There is probably a sticker somewhere that tells you the model number and number of BTUs. That would be a good starting point. The units that use more BTUs also draw more power and if you don’t have a dedicated circuit for the ac, you might not be able to handle a larger unit without an electrical upgrade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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I would buy no less than 8000 btu for a small bedroom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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What do you consider a small bedroom? 6000 BTU works fine for our 12x17 bedroom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Is there such a thing as a financial investigator. I'm trying to find out if my spouse has other bank accounts that he is hiding. I'm considering divorce. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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It comes out in divorce discovery. Or get a credit report on him, usually lists bank accounts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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Yes, "Forensic Accountant" is the title. Your attorney must know one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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+ it’s much of what the FBI does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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+1 we had a forensic accountant in our divorce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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Divorced mom here. I found a lot of accounts at tax time when the banks sent out their 1098 forms . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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I hid a non-interest bearing account by getting a mailbox that was in one of those private mailboxes with a real street address. Got my bank statements there. Your DH may be doing the same thing or money is in the Cayman Islands. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Community College Summer Program for HS student in NYC? Anyone know if my private HS student can take a class at any of the community colleges in the city over the summer? I know about College Now, but I believe that is just for public school students. Student was on extended medical leave this year and needs to get back in the academic swing of things. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 06.15.19, 10:28 PM Flag
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I don’t know about community colleges but I do know that BASIS Independent has a great summer program. I think the one in brooklyn is what you would want because they have a high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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Sure--why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 03:28 AM Flag
[ - ] How long have you lived in your house or apartment before you had to repaint it? We have been here for a little over 4 years and the walls are starting to show a little wear and tear. Is that normal? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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For my rental apartment, management will authorize a new paint job every four years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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Have you ever done it? It seems like such an annoying jobs because you have to move all the furniture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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^ before we had kids DH and I lived in an apartment for 10 years and the walls were just fine. Now we have kids (ok, not so little anymore), and dogs and I think the combination is lethal to the cleanliness of my house... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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NP - we’ve done it. Moved furniture to the middle, covered and worked around. It can be done. Master is probably the worst bc of taise of the bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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That's the law in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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What parts are showing wear and tear, and how? Are they parts that you touch, or are they walls you don't interact with? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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Lol, I am not that crazy yet that I interact with my walls! The walls around doors and light switches are the worst. But really, where ever the dog puts his wet snout or butt.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:17 PM Flag
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lol trust me I am not a nut about this. I just meant that if you have really high ceilings or something and the paint is wearing up top, that's not a "you" issue, that's a paint issue. But if it's places where you're interacting with the wall (like palming a wall before you descend a staircase), it's a humans issue where you can at least try cleaning first before you $$$ to repaint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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7 year, needed a fresh coat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:27 PM Flag
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Been here 4 years and we need to repaint soon. The paint definitely has seen better days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Also depends on a paint. If your paint is flat, the wear is much faster. We lived in an apartment for 18m and it looked like hell bc of flat paint. If you have satin, it’s much better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Always in search of the elusive most flattering pants: thick material with a bit of stretch, simple clean design, body skimming, not body clinging, dark colour. Found a pair once and have worn them to death. Any suggestions? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 09:43 PM Flag
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Found a theory pair last year which fit that description perfectly in dark blue. but tried in other colors and didn’t work as well. There’s a jbrand jean that I find super slimming if you want denim [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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is it the theory classic stretch, with a line down the middle? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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Are these pull up pants? Post links please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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i just googled theory pants and these came up. not sure if they're the ones OR is talking about. But yes they look like pull-ups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.15.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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I've been considering having pants made actually. The wide leg side zip are most flattering on my apply shape. Have a pair from Talbots that are about worn out. Would like them in a variety of fabrics and colors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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^^ and why can't brands just make some flattering pants. They know what is successful for women, why do they torture us? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.16.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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