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[ - ] OMG ... the way Gretchen mangles her grammar is appalling. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:22 AM Flag
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WHO? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:19 AM Flag
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they are all idiots [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:26 AM Flag
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It's all so fake, why do we torture ourselves? I have no business watching this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:41 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a 2 year old son who has been in childcare since he was six months old. We have to have both incomes because my husband doesn't make enough to support us. We have a lot of debt to pay off from our younger extremely irresponsible days. I want to stay home with my son so badly, but we would not be able to survive. He goes to a small in home daycare and I trust the woman 100%. I'm trying to get some things figured out before he has to go to school so I can homeschool. It's what my husband and I both want. So, is it wrong of me to work outside the home when we have a small child? Sometimes I feel like maybe we should sell our house and live off government assistance so I can stay with him. We are self sufficient right now, and have never needed GA before, but we definitely would if I quit my job. 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:22 AM Flag
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No, its not wrong to use daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:23 AM Flag
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My son was born prematurely and as such we did not use daycare until he was over a year old. I worked part-time, he was cared for in my home by a grandparent or a friend. Once we got past the flu season and he turned 1, we enrolled him at the daycare where I work. He loves going to school and seeing his friends. I recently switched out of the lab and back into clinical nursing and I am working odd shifts, so he still goes, just not as often. I do not need to work, my husband makes more than enough to pay the bill and put money into our savings. I choose to work, I love my job. Financially, all the money I make goes straight to retirement, college funds and for me to spend at my discretion. My mom was a SAHM and my sister and I both went to preschool a couple of hours a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:23 AM Flag
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Are you serious? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:17 AM Flag
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Of course, why do you ask? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:24 AM Flag
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Because considering assistance so you can stay home is absurd. So what if you want to stay home, we all want a lot of things. Grow up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:19 AM Flag
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So, it's not wrong to use daycare? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:21 AM Flag
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Yes, it's wrong, you're going to hell. What kind of a stupid question is that?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:21 AM Flag
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Then why do I feel so bad leaving him there, Like I should be the one caring for him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:30 AM Flag
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I have no idea why you feel bad. You should feel bad about taking government assistance you don't need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:24 AM Flag
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But I want to stay home with my son so badly, what do I do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:36 AM Flag
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Lol, I know you're fake but I'll play. You suck it up like a grownup, sweet knees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:31 AM Flag
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Not fake at all, dear. Thanks for the advice, God bless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:34 AM Flag
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Of course this is fake. This isn't Mormon baby. But you have the lingo down well, so nice job! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:43 AM Flag
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Have you not found your place in religion, sweetie? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:40 AM Flag
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I found my place in the squirting thread down below, that will have to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:40 AM Flag
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I had a horrific childhood. Daycare was a wonderful treat. I loved it. Some of my happiest memories are daycare related. I think it's a good idea, and a good way for your child to learn social skills. It sets a good example for him to see you paying down your debt. Generally "government housing" projects are to be avoided at all costs. They are very, very, bad. I lived near one for 2 years and it was horrific. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:24 AM Flag
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No, it is not wrong for you work or to use daycare. If you wish to stay home with your child, there are ways to do so...but it takes much sacrifice. Living off of government assistance should not be an option, however. Government assistance is for those that cannot do for themselves, not those that can and just wish to take advantage. I have been a stay at home mom for 23 years and God in His great mercy has always provided. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:19 AM Flag
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I'm sorry for your heartache. It must be very difficult to not be able to be with your son all day, every day. Essentially, I agree with the poster before me. The thing to do is look at Biblical principles. Having debt is something God has a lot to say about--we are a slave to the lender. Unfortunately, their are consequences to our sin, and when we've spent money in a way we shouldn't, that means having to do what we'd rather not, while the wrongs are 'righted'. Going on government assistance would be wrong so you could be home with your child. It isn't a higher principle to live off others so you can do that. There is no magic, we're in a mess in this nation financially and a big part of that is this notion that God is the government, so people don't work to support themselves, they expect others to work to support them, which is not biblical when it's forced on us. Biblically, you should pay off your debt while tithing (10% of your gross income), and then pray for guidance on how to live in a way that your husband can provide for you so you can stop working. Larry Burkett wrote a book years ago entitled "Women Leaving the Workplace". In it, he recommends living for 6 months on your husband's income before you (the wife) quit working to ensure it can really happen. You should also have a little savings before quitting--some suggest $1000 emergency fund. Good budgeting is a biblical principle--and it will take you time to get to that point. Ideally, God's design for the family is for the husband to be the priest, provider and protector and for the wife to be a 'keeper at home'. That doesn't mean she doesn't bring in any income though. Ask Him for guidance on how to make the changes needed, but do tithe. We are told to trust God in the faithfulness of that. It is the one area He says for us to test Him~don't rob Him. Perhaps you will need to move to a state that is more single-income friendly, or to a different area...renting instead of owning, going to one car, getting rid of cable or cell phones...drastic things in today's society. God bless your efforts and I hope He will give you solutions sooner rather than later. If you do things His way, He will not disappoint! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:22 AM Flag
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What? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:30 AM Flag
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I just got an instant headache....holy thump. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:31 AM Flag
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I think you're in the wrong place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:25 AM Flag
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Exactly, I feel somehow dirty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:28 AM Flag
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op: Thanks for all the helpful advice. We did give up cable about two years ago, and we have Netflix now. We are trying to sell our house and move into a rent house that my in-laws own. It will save us $500 a month. We aren't members of a church right now. We have been visiting my mom's church and I really like it, but not sure if my husband likes it as much as I do. When we start going somewhere regularly we will start tithing. When we move we are going to start really paying our debt down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:27 AM Flag
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Praying for the best for you and your family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:38 AM Flag
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You are out if your freakin' mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:34 AM Flag
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Daycare in itself is absolutely not wrong. After all, Moses' mother had to set him in a river and trust him to God, and then let the Pharoh's daughter raise him, because that is what was best for him. I know that's kind of a long shot from your situation , but the point is that God allows us to let other people help in raising our children when we have to. However, God does convict some specific people to stay home with their kids and not work. If you feel convicted about it, it could be because your specific calling is to stay home with your son. Pray about it. God will make it clear to you. He will provide all of the money needed to make whichever choice He leads. If you are planning on homeschooling in a few years and just need to work right now in order to make that happen, I'd say that is a good plan (but again, I am not God and don't know what He is leading you to do). When your son is grown up and looks back on the 12+ years that you were home with him homeschooling him, he is not going to look and be upset about those 3-ish years (that he will probably barely remember) where you had to sometimes leave him at daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:38 AM Flag
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I know I am led to homeschool him when the time comes, it's just getting us to a place where we can make that happen. I'm going to be praying about it and trusting God about this. Thanks for the advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:39 AM Flag
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Hope you are having fun writing to yourself! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:41 AM Flag
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Hello, 1950? "My husband doesn't make enough to support us." Seriously? Why don't you make more money? Quit your job and try to get government assistance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:36 AM Flag
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So you think that would be alright then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:37 AM Flag
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Nothing you said is all right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:38 AM Flag
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If you could explain and help I would much appreciate and I will pray for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:36 AM Flag
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You just went over the top. Thanks for the laugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:45 AM Flag
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Regular daycare I'd be more iffy about (my grandmother worked in one a few years ago and had some stories she could tell!) but a home daycare ... if you trust the woman and know her well, I think it's fine. My mother does home daycare and has my entire life. We all still remember all the kids we had for any real length of time and my mother has kept in touch with several of the parents even after the kids went to school or someone moved. In your home like that, the kids practically become part of the family. If it's something you need to do now to homeschool later, I really think it's fine. Honestly, IMHO, public schools are to the point where if you can homeschool, you need to, thought I do understand that some people can't or just really aren't cut out for it. My siblings were in public school for a while, but my mom pulled them out when we moved and she has no intention of putting them back in now. I spent most of my life homeschooled and if you can be really involved in a church and find a good homeschool group, that's plenty of "socializing." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:37 AM Flag
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I question the sincerity of this post. Unless someone is impersonating the OP in the discussion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:44 AM Flag
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OP is having a conversation with herself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:45 AM Flag
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Ohh I knew something was off... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:43 AM Flag
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No, but I do thank the ones giving out such helpful advice, bless you all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:50 AM Flag
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Daycare in and of itself isn't bad, but you need to be very selective in where you send your child. I've worked in daycare for quite a while and while there are some absolutely wonderful and loving people who work in daycare, there are also not nice people. I highly suggest doing research and asking around about the centers you consider. Don't be afraid to ask the workers/teachers questions and try to spend as much time there as you can. A good teacher loves involved parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you give the teacher and her student teacher the same end of the year gift, or different gifts? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:19 AM Flag
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we give nominal $$ for student teacher.after all, she came 2-3 days.wk, and ended a month early, probably started late, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:24 AM Flag
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Thanks.,our classes have never done group gifts so I get them something on my own. I never know when the student teachers last day is, so I hate to get a gift and then send it after she has left. My child is not that helpful with teacher info [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Met my DH from ONS and know plenty of couples who started out FWB. Is this odd? I never thought twice about it until I came on UN and it seems as though this is not thought of as something common... 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:05 AM Flag
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^UB not UN lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:06 AM Flag
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Acronym girl, could you speak English? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:09 AM Flag
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Np: ONS- One night stand FWB-friends with benefits. Seriously these are not new, especially on UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:12 AM Flag
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NP: ONS is one night stand, though I rarely see it abbreviated. FWB is friends with benefits, often abbreviated. Maybe OP thought she was sending a text. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:06 AM Flag
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Op here: didn't know these abbreviations were that "out there" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:18 AM Flag
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have no idea what you are talking about [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:11 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:41 AM Flag
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I have a friend who met her DH on craigslist missed connections. It's safe to say this happens, but I don't think you should go into a FWB situation expecting the guy to change his mind. That is a recipe for getting hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:11 AM Flag
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*casual encounters, not missed connections [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:11 AM Flag
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UB is prudish sometimes, though I think some of these women have very selective memories. If you go on a place like WeddingBee, you'll see threads where plenty of engaged and married women say they slept with their future husbands very early or casually at first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:05 AM Flag
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That's interesting! Maybe its also a generational thing... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:18 AM Flag
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A lot of UB women were drugged out back then. They don't REALLY remember when they first slept with dh! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:19 AM Flag
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Bahahah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:28 AM Flag
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Yes it is odd. Nothing I'd be proud of and certainly nothing that I would ever discuss in polite company. What's your fake story that you tell the outside world? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:06 AM Flag
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We tell them the truth-that we met at a bar. Generally people don't follow that up with "well did you f*** him?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:17 AM Flag
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ha. +1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:13 AM Flag
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You sound smug and proud of this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:21 AM Flag
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Oh dear. Here come the old prunes - I mean, prudes. She asked a question. How does she sound proud? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:16 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:27 AM Flag
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Um why the hell would I be smug" about this? I'm just curious. Not like I said I met my DH sailing off the coast of Barbados with my sorority sisters Toni and Tiffani [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:23 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:42 AM Flag
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np: How so? Explain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Just went into contract on an apartment that needs a major kitchen renovation--but it also has a 1950s vintage stove that is incredibly charming. I'm researching what it would cost to restore it and the first estimate is $5000. Should I just let go of this old stove? Apparently restored stoves last 30+ years... 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:52 AM Flag
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fwiw, the stove looks like this and seems to be in decent shape already: http://www.antiquegasstoves.com/images/okm36chrome/stove.gif [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:01 AM Flag
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so cute! I would first see how well it works -- bake a cake or bread and also a roast or something. If it is in good working order, and you like cooking with it, then I say $5K seems well worth it for something unique and well-made and beautiful. good luck! jealous you have a new apt! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:14 AM Flag
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My friend used to have a unit like that in her old apartment in Stuy Town. It looks cute but the oven was completely and utterly useless. Make sure you can fit things in the oven. You will never be making a turkey in that thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:17 AM Flag
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op: good point. I need to check what would fit in it. It's 40" wide so it's not the most petite version of a double oven. I feel like it would still fit a mid-size turkey but this will take some experimenting... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:19 AM Flag
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IIRC, those models only have one oven. The 2 doors on the left and the lower one on the right are not ovens, but warming chambers. So you are left with one tiny oven with no window. This is an appliance whose time is done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:29 AM Flag
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^^^Like this: http://www.antiquegasstoves.com/pages/okm36chrome.html The left 2 doors are actually one warming unit, the upper right is an oven and the lower right is a broiler. Useless! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:32 AM Flag
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Don't let it go! First research what you'd put in its place - good gas stoves can easily cost more than that. If you decide you want to replace it w/something cheaper, sell the old one on ebay, people collect them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:55 AM Flag
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op: thanks! I'm going to shop around the different restoration business and see what they think. I want to keep it, but 5k would be 1/5 of our kitchen reno budget and we still have to buy a fridge and a dishwasher--and cabinets and counters and labor. Maybe if it could be restored for 3000 I could justify keeping it...the stove may be my favorite thing about the apartment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:04 AM Flag
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Aww if it's your favorite thing, make it work! I would get several quotes if you can, someone is bound to be less than 5k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:47 AM Flag
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Do those side by side doors open to one big oven or two little ones? I'd be concerned about fitting dishes in if it's the latter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:16 AM Flag
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We had to do this. Terrific vintage double-stove, would have been a fortune to fix. Wanted to keep it just as a piece of furniture. Alas. Still sad that it's gone, though I love my new kitchen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:17 AM Flag
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we had a stove like that! It was a rental, and it was part of what sold me on the apartment. Don't sell it! I remember reading a story about someone on the east coast who ended up flying out a repair guy from California (where they have a lot of these vintage stoves) to fix her stove. He flew out and back the same day, and it was still cheaper than getting it done locally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:14 AM Flag
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op: interesting...the "full restoration" quote I got is from The Stove Lady in Westchester. Possibly the most expensive option out there? It's so pretty. Like a vintage car. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:29 AM Flag
[ - ] What is a good end strategy for nanny of 7 years? DH and I are discussing and he actually said, Ask UB! I said, let's pick an end date in Sept. Then offer 10 weeks severance at full pay (but we will drop the metrocard. she can keep the cell phone until severance period ends). DH is thinking we give her a period of time to find a job, say between Sept and Dec, and while she is looking, we continue to pay her but she does light housekeeping and picks up the kids from school at 3pm. So, her workday could be just 1-6 but paid as though she were working 9-6. And once she gets a job, pay continues until the Dec end date. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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TIA for your ideas and reax! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:43 AM Flag
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One night with dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:45 AM Flag
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My DH is cute but I don't think it will work out. And if you meant with nanny -- she is close to the age of his mother! Put that image in your head and then try to forget it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:51 AM Flag
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I 'd say ending in August will make it easier for her to find another family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:39 AM Flag
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I WOH and school doesn't start until second week of Sept so I can't take 2 weeks vacation off to be with the kids during the transition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:49 AM Flag
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I think your first suggestion is better. Second leaves too much grey area. Why wouldn't she just say she found another job after a couple of weeks since you will continue to pay her until the Dec date anyway? Too much room for hard feelings and resentment. Along with the severence, do whatever you can to help her find a new full time position - that's going to be the biggest help to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:53 AM Flag
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all good points. Sounds like you have a lot of experience. thanks! does 10 weeks severance sound fair for 7 years-8 years work? I just realized it will be about 7 yrs, 8 months in Sept. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:59 AM Flag
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Sounds really generous and appropriate. If he does not find something, will she be able to collect unemployment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:56 AM Flag
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^^she [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:57 AM Flag
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actually, yes! I completely forgot about that. what I look forward to more than anything is no more quarterly employer tax filings!!! I did them myself to save money and it was mostly easy -- but just getting myself to sit down and do the task 4 times a year -- ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:02 AM Flag
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I think it is fine as long as you give her ample notice that this is your plan so she can put her feelers out and hopefully get something in place before severence runs out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:10 AM Flag
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Sounds like you're being really generous. September is a great time to look for a nanny job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Pet peeve: Lay down. It's LIE down. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:36 AM Flag
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That is a lie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:37 AM Flag
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Where you at [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:50 AM Flag
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People who get it wrong are such loosers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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Yes, they are morans [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:38 AM Flag
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Their loosers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:39 AM Flag
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you mean irish? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:39 AM Flag
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No, you know.. Moranic. Dum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:46 AM Flag
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For all intensive purposes, it's really not a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:33 AM Flag
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Where you at [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:41 AM Flag
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Intensive purposes per se [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:47 AM Flag
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Ostensibly, it's horrid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:48 AM Flag
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I think so to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:41 AM Flag
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Why would you axe me that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:40 AM Flag
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To see how sharp your tool is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:40 AM Flag
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OP here - thanks all - needed a laugh! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:41 AM Flag
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No one cares about you, go lay down like a good little doggie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:09 AM Flag
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It's time for you to get some real problems [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:41 AM Flag
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It's a peeve. An annoyance. I hope I am allowed to have those in addition to any "real" problems I may have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:45 AM Flag
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My ass hurts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:46 AM Flag
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Awe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:49 AM Flag
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Oh , shush [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:49 AM Flag
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Want to come over to DH and I's house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:47 AM Flag
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I am going to berry my dog [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:49 AM Flag
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Mines is still alive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:49 AM Flag
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I tell her Lay down and she don't listen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:52 AM Flag
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She be coming home [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:53 AM Flag
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I have a nack for gettin' stuff right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:55 AM Flag
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I have a nack for gettin' stuff right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:55 AM Flag
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That is the only one I have trouble with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:56 AM Flag
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Hens lay eggs, people lie down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:04 AM Flag
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Dogs take craps, you're a piece of crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:17 AM Flag
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It depends. You lay a glass on the table but you lie down on a bed, for example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Lydia you do NOT look like Denise Richards. Sit down. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:30 AM Flag
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I see a resemblance there. Not exactly but they could be sisters or cousins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:38 AM Flag
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Lydia being the busted looking cousin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:40 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:40 AM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:41 AM Flag
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A crystal meth smoking cousin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:49 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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Is Lydia the newish one with the horsey teeth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:56 AM Flag
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Yes'm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:07 AM Flag
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Denise Richards with a thyroid problem, maybe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:48 AM Flag
[ - ] I have not had a break in 6 months. I have a 6 month old who wants to be held all the time - sleeps with us, nurses all night long. I literally have a couple of hours between 11:00 and about 1:00 am, when he is sleeping alone to myself. Otherwise I'm holding him or nursing him nonstop. He doesnt want anyone else. I'd let him CIO but we're moving right now and we don't have our house yet, so we're staying here and there for the next month or so. I'm exhausted, short tempered and feel like a horrible mom. DH's idea of helping is to hold db for a few minutes until he starts crying and then bring him back to me. I'd shoot my dog for 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:22 AM Flag
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^^ granted, I don't really like my dog anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:23 AM Flag
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Do you have a sling or Moby wrap? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:30 AM Flag
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Yeah. Anytime I'm out, he's in the sling. That doesn't help at night. And a 20 pound baby is heavy. My body hurts from carrying him all the time -- in the sling or out -- it's still a 20 pound baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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i dont have anything helpful to say but this sounds so hard and i'm sorry you're going through this... hope it gets better soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:34 AM Flag
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thanks. I know it will. just feeling sorry for myself tonight. it passes quickly, i know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:32 AM Flag
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Leave him with DH for a few hours and go get a pedi, or massage, or something. Tell him it is an emergancy mental break" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:36 AM Flag
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This. Just leave for a couple hours. It will make a world of difference for you and they will survive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:43 AM Flag
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I found nursing side lying and cosleeping really helped. That way I could at least rest. Having dd in an Ergo let her nurse while I could do things and walk around helped. Also, try doing breast compressions from way back by the breast wall while nursing. It may help get baby more hindmilk so he will stay full longer. Hang on there. It will pass before you know it. Oh, and I still want to shoot my dog most of the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:34 AM Flag
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+1. Learn nurse and sleep at the same time - life saver. Some babies are just high maintanence. Mine is like that too.CIO most likely will not help and might make things worse - I would be careful with it. You have to keep your high need baby happy all the time to make your life eaiser. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:43 AM Flag
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+1 excellent advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:26 AM Flag
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Read Happiest Baby on the Block [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:43 AM Flag
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I have. And I have no problem making the baby happy. It's just a nonstop job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:53 AM Flag
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Dh has to step up. Tell him to figure out how to soothe the baby. Leave to get nails done and a cup of coffee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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I also had a dd like this. CIO did not work. Cosleeping and time made it better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:20 AM Flag
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Oh please, you sound like such an annoying martyr. He's 6 months old ffs. Just teach your kid to sleep by himself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:28 AM Flag
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and you would do this how? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:34 AM Flag
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You are clueless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:34 AM Flag
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You had my sympathy until the dog comment. Ow I hope you suffer eternally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Do city parking tickets go on your credit report? Any consequences to not paying them if I'm planning on moving in a year and never coming back? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:21 AM Flag
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You could get ass raped [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:29 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:30 AM Flag
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Years ago, when I tried to sell my car, I had to pay them all off. Can't remember the connection - maybe to transfer the title? This was in Massachusetts though. I would guess they would go on your credit report if the car is in your name - hell, the other day someone here posted that the library was going to report unpaid overdue fees to credit agencies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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yes, possibly. Your car also will have records of unpaid tickets. You won't be able to get new plate in another state. The problem is though, the fine on unpaid ticket doubles triples rapidly. better to take care of it now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:27 AM Flag
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Those fuckers will find you and tow your car to outer Mongolia. They will ask for a DNA sample and then charge you cost of old tickets and tow fee. Pay the goddamn tickets, it's not worth it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:44 AM Flag
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They can tow your car and hold it until your tickets are payed, plus charge you for towing/storage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:46 AM Flag
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ESL Mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:08 AM Flag
[ - ] If our mortgage is 6000K a month in Harlem, what do you think is a HHI required to afford private school? TIA 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:20 AM Flag
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Forgot to add for 2 kids and WOHM mother [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:20 AM Flag
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No dad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:22 AM Flag
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no there is a dad too just said WOHM for calculation purposes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:23 AM Flag
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What does it matter where your mortgage is? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:22 AM Flag
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no it does not matter...redundant i guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:24 AM Flag
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Flame away, but I would only be comfortable with doing this at hhi 1mm for 2 kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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really why that high?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:44 AM Flag
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For 2 dc's I think I'd need about $600K to feel fully secure w/2 private school tuitions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:25 AM Flag
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I posted below and this is roughly consistent. (My "rule of thumb" formula spits out $544 but that's for "not stretched to the point of worry." The extra $50k or so moves it from that to "fully secure.") [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:55 AM Flag
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Well that nixes the $6k/month mortgage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:56 AM Flag
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Your mtg and monthly debts including the private school, should not total more than 36% of your monthly gross income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:27 AM Flag
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So then assuming 6K+8K= 14K per month our gross before tax should be 40 K a month which means 480K a year..that is kind on low right? How did you come up with 36% ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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Before tax that would be around 800k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:26 AM Flag
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No, the OR said 36% of monthly gross, so OP figured it correctly - and it does seem low. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:28 AM Flag
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What do you mean by monthly debts? Actual loan / credit card debts, or do you just mean recurring expenses? Because if the first, agree that sounds low. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:27 AM Flag
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My rough rule of thumb for affording 2DCs in private with 2 WOH parents is approx. 2x housing + $400K. So, for you, $544,000. That is to feel comfortable, not stretched to the point of worry (e.g., not sacrificing retirement savings), and rounding errors assume tuition increases but not salary increases. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:51 AM Flag
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Where does 400K come from? why that number? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:46 AM Flag
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Can quibble about specifics but my rough calculation was this: 400K minus 40K in 401(k) contributions (currently $35K, but this will go up over time) = 360K, minus $10K in health insurance premiums = 350K, minus $5K in dependent care flexible spending and ~$6K in health savings account = $340K pretax. Assume 50% tax = $170K take-home. Subract $100K for private tuition for 2DCs = $70K, less $25K for childcare/after school/enrichment/camp (I am assuming that nanny salary shifts to a combination of afterschool activities, camp, babysitting, etc. once kids are in school full time) = $45K, less ~$5K for combination of life insurance, home insurance, car insurance and/or public transportation = ~$40K, which is around $3300 per month for food, clothing, utilities, toiletries, entertainment, vacation/travel, gifts, additional medical expenses (if any), additional savings (if any). There's your $400K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:05 AM Flag
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I've posted in the past and originally had a higher childcare/enrichment/camp figure, but people made good points about being able to lower that, so I shifted the balancec to the "misc" monthly amount for, you know, food etc. There might be room to lower that, but not much - maybe $350K total if you think you can feed, clothe, etc. a family of 4 on $2K/month, but I think that's tight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:09 AM Flag
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^^^ but also does not assume extras (so "comfortable" means you're not constantly anxious, but not expensive vacations, lots of entertainment/dining out, etc.). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:54 AM Flag
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if your mortgage is $6000K a month, that means you are spending $6,000,000 a month. i'm assuming you aren't the breadwinner in the family, eh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:59 AM Flag
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sorry meant 6K [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Suzanne. Ready yet for a revival? I kind of love it. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:13 AM Flag
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i like Susanna better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:21 AM Flag
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Much better, the z is sorta, um, trashy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:17 AM Flag
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+2. I also am not a big fan of nn Suzy/Susie etc. But if you can keep it Susanna I like it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:32 AM Flag
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My name is Suzanne and I like it. Why trashy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:53 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:17 AM Flag
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+1, not my style [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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Susanne [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:25 AM Flag
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I don't like names with "z" for some reason. Susannah is better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:33 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:55 AM Flag
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I like it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:50 AM Flag
[ - ] This is my favorite response to a name poll recently: "Tawny is a prostitute. Ferris is sexually confused and thinks she's a boy. Lion is a meth addict. Remi joined a cult." LOL. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:08 AM Flag
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Those names! That OP was 0 for 4 with those and she seemed surprised. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:28 AM Flag
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Then she admitted they were her siblings' names! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:43 AM Flag
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That is going to be the fate of so many UB babies when they get old enough to Google. Come on here, ask about their name, and be disappointed when they hear the reactions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Have you ever squirted? How common do you think it is? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:07 AM Flag
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gross [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:08 AM Flag
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Not common. Do a search on UB. There was a long post about this not too long ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:08 AM Flag
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only twicz in my life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:03 AM Flag
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Is it piss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:12 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:13 AM Flag
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were you just beamed in from the 1950s? how sexually ignorant can one be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:22 AM Flag
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What, is it dr brothers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:24 AM Flag
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clearly her work was for nothing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:29 AM Flag
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I'm 24. Female ejaculation hasn't been scientifically proven yet. There have been studies but the jury is still out. I believe it's piss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:29 AM Flag
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I've done it a few times. No way it's piss. It dries extremely quickly and no smell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:32 AM Flag
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scientists don't understand the mechanics but it has been established beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is not urine, contrary to your ignorant beliefs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:33 AM Flag
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No it is piss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:34 AM Flag
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np- So you've discovered definitely what scientists studying for years have not? I don't think so. You sound 12. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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Post cunt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:38 AM Flag
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Have you ever ejaculated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:41 AM Flag
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I took a golden shower [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:10 AM Flag
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Out my ass [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:15 AM Flag
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Ass water [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:24 AM Flag
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I ejaculated out my ass after eating at Taco Bell [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:44 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 04:50 AM Flag
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Yes I do. It is NOT pee. Smells completely different, is whiteish in color, and for me, actually squirts out of me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:31 AM Flag
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Do you shot it on your dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:34 AM Flag
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I think it is piss just not watered down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:37 AM Flag
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I've done it maybe 3 or 4 times. So for me anyway, rare but it does happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:27 AM Flag
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Does it shoot out far [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:36 AM Flag
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Yes. More than a few times. It's definitely not pee [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:44 AM Flag
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Masturbating or intercourse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:46 AM Flag
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Intercourse every time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Why is it that 20 people can compliment me including the boss and the one person who criticizes and is nasty about it, bothers me so much? Everyone said let it go, but I can't help but be pissed. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:07 AM Flag
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You need to learn to think, "This person is an idiot and can go fuck him/herself." It's such a good skill to have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:09 AM Flag
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ok, let's see...You're an idiot and can go fuck yourself! I do feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:23 AM Flag
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There is no way to avoid this. You need to figure out how to let comments like this that you know are not valid not affect you or else you need to take a low level job where you never have to worry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:22 AM Flag
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True. Good point. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:17 AM Flag
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Once you get out of high school you'll stop trying to be liked by everyone all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone married to a yeller? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:06 AM Flag
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Racist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:00 AM Flag
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lolololol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:07 AM Flag
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My Irish DH yells at me in Gaelic when he's pissed. I don't understand a word of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:07 AM Flag
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LOL. I love this. If he has to yell, that's the best way, I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:08 AM Flag
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I always start laughing at him. He sounds so ridiculous lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:11 AM Flag
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that sounds strangely hot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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It turns me on in a scary-wtf-are-you-saying kind of way... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:55 AM Flag
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No. But I am a major yeller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:25 AM Flag
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My husband is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:32 AM Flag
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ugh, yes. greek dh and his family - they're all yellers. i am not a yeller and i hate it. we're working on communicating differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:29 AM Flag
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Yes. But I get him back when he is sleeping. He's learning not to fuck with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.18.13, 03:48 AM Flag
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