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[ - ] I recently received a letter from my 6th grader’s school that DC was on a list for students who have 2 or more lates/absences this year. We are at a CW and the nature of commuting a distance to a school is sometimes there is unexpected traffic. Is this really something I need to be concerned about? Fwiw - it’s probably around 3 lates (about 10 min late) . 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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it does not matter if 10 min or 1 hour late - go in the system same way. lateness can hurt you when apply to nyc public highschool where they count days late/absent in 7th grade and you loose points in rubrics [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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What is a CW? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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It’s a good age to start learning about timeliness, letter or not, but agree with above poster in that high schools look at this stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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I wish our school did this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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You’re on track for 8-10 lateness which will keep you out of every good non-she high school if there are any absences at all. If you have them in 7th Good to learn this now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Why does Trinity not ask where parents attended college in HS application? I thought they would care about legacy benefits for college admissions. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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They are interested in legacy, especially if you are white. They care less if you an URM. They don't need to ask because you can find it on the web. This way, they can look when they care but seem as though they don't. Stop trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you know dads who greet their daughters with “hi gorgeous!”. I know this is judgmental but I find it incredibly creepy and weird. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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Not really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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My uncle does that to me. But he does that to my mom, his sisters, my cousins, my grandmas, his cat, the checkout lady, the bus driver, etc. He's just very much a guy from Queens and we all interpret it as a "hey how ya doing" type thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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His wife just gets "hey you". Meanwhile the cat gets "hello gorgeous muah muah muah!!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:23 PM Flag
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Your uncle sounds like he has a great sense of humor -- as do the women who are the objects of his affection. That's nice to hear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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I don't think his cat humors it ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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No, I have never seen this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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I am a mom and I say that to my dd all the time. It's a term of endearment. I also greet my dog with "hi handsome". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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NP: DD and I love the play “The Bad Seed” and are always saying something like “Oh DD, you’re such a beautiful daughter, such a pretty daughter.” You have to know the script to get it, but it’s fun for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t find this creepy or weird at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:11 PM Flag
[ - ] FT WOHM and I am jealous of the Moms who host my kids for play dates, have all the time in the world, endless cash, successful beautiful DH’s and charity boards. Sue me. I’m tired. 44 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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Totally agree and I am you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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I actually enjoy my life and feel very fortunate for everything. Been WOH all my adult and while there are ups and downs, and I get extremely tired, wouldn’t trade it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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I know women like that, but there is a backstory too---they are economically dependent upon one person and hence have to make sure that that person is happy with them. There's a lot of insecurity in that. The cash isn't truly "endless". I've gotten to know women who talk about kiting checks just to pay for groceries or who are just one bill short of having the lights turned off. Sitting on a charity board means either giving or raising money (I've been asked to sit on several.) If you want to cut into your family budget to give, great. If you want to hustle your friends for money, not my jam. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:00 PM Flag
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Many women do not have a backstory like this. The idea that the majority of these people are secretly struggling financially simply isn’t true. Of course there are people like that but there is a tremendous about of real wealth, especially in UES private school circles. Don’t kid yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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Hmm, I'm not sure how you would know this.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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We all know this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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Hmm, if you read the rest of this discussion you'll read dissenting opinions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Do their nannies host or they host? If they are home with their kids they’re tired too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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I hear you, but I consider this: I can walk away with the kids anytime and though it would be difficult, I can support us. Every day I use my mind in something which engages my talents, interests and aptitudes. I have something which is mine, and mine alone...my work. I love having multiple hats: professional, wife, mother. This is the happiest I've been in my life since I have so many sources of interest/development. I think the life you envy is wonderful for those who find fulfillment in it. I had the option of leading that life, lead it for a year, developed a drinking problem and eventually went back to working outside the home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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+1 I love this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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So well said [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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These women are tired, too. Maintaining that constant perfect life is exhausting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I WFH and have a very flexible job. Sadly though, my DH isn't beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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Same here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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I am you but also a single mom (divorced with full custody). I totally hear you. I'm tired, and I am envious frequently. I try to remind myself that my worst day is actually a great day for many people - I am not working outside, in a factory, etc. Not discounting your emotions - just telling you how I turn my mind around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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I don't know if it is still accessible, but there's a long discussion about husbands walking away from their families. That would be devastating for anyone, but a catastrophe for FT SAHMs without any cushion...and frequently, those moms are living lives of "endless cash" and unaware that there is no cushion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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Sure there is if she didn't sign a prenup or if DH earned most money while married to her. She will get a lot in a divorce settlement to take care of her and kids for the end of life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:41 PM Flag
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That used to be the case, but no longer. And, whose to say that there will be assets? I have a friend whose mother went back to work after 40 years. College professor husband had a tipping stripper habit. Another's husband hide everything overseas..they spent a decade in court trying to track it down, he died and left everything to his 2ns wife. She had to go back to work. I wouldn't count on being the happy divorcee. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:45 PM Flag
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Of course you cannot count on perfection, but cases you describe where wife lived a life of luxury and then having to work crappy jobs to make ends meet are not typical. Most families own assets in this country and there are accounts and homes that are to be split. I don't know a single woman who got nothing in a divorce at all and that's in my circle of Manhattan MC who don't have endless millions. I personally know 2 former SAHMs who are still not working and living in their apartments post divorce. I would think among uber wealthy OP describes the situation is not more dire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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I wouldn't want to be dependent upon the possibility that everything will work out.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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You really don't know if those women are secure forever or just okay for now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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This. Alimony exists but it is temporary. I know some SAHMs who got enough alimony to last a couple of years until their kids were older and they'd had time to figure out a plan to find a job. I know several women who have been divorced for some length of time, including former SAHMs and all of them are now working again. Not because they don't get child support, they do, but it's not enough to support them entirely. This idea that family court judges will order the DH to pay all of the ex-DWs living expenses until the end of time is not true unless he does have endless millions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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This. Also, if the wife is well educated it actually works against her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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This. I don't care if someone SAHMs or WOHMs. Just that women are aware that there are tradeoffs. I have far less leisure and sleep, but I have more security. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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NP: I’m not even a divorce attorney and this doesn’t always pan out like this. It all depends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:45 PM Flag
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But it also doesn't ALWAYS pan out to be poverty and wage slavery for the divorced wife either, especially if she married into money and especially if this money was earned while she was married and there are no sketchy offshore things or other illicit crap going on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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Think about your first response. Next time, be sure to include some caveats because there are a lot of readers here who will take it as truth and then are shocked when it doesn’t work out the way they remember being said on UB. The subject shouldn’t be taken lightly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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This. We all hope we have married people of integrity, but don't count on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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NP: Yep, I'm not in NYC, but in a very affluent area of the country where there are "luxury" pawnshops filled with engagement rings, Cartier watches, etc. I don't wish any one harm or suffering, but I don't envy women who are this vulnerable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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I am not saying to everyone "you will be just fine, go ahead and never work", are you really implying this? Choices people make to have a SAH parent are not my suggestions, they are years in the making and people entering in these situations know the risks I would assume and don't need patronizing from you or me on the topic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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I'm not sure why you've become so hostile. This has been a respectful discussion thus far. Take care and have a good weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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If she's staying at home hosting playdates, she's not earning money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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If you are a SAH spouse, which applies to men as well and your DH/DW was supporting the family for years guess what happens in a divorce? It's assumed that the SAH parent sacrificed their wage earning years to raise the kids and support family in another way, the law grants them alimony. I know a woman paying alimony to her DH because he wasn't working for a decade even though there was a nanny in the picture. Scaring SAHMs that they must rush to work or else risk living destitute lives is just making yourself feel better. Nobody is really immune from poverty with the exception of uber wealthy who have good head on their shoulders. Even UMC are 1-2 bad health issues or disasters away from potentially losing it all, that is regardless of SAH/WAH situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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It’s not that cut and dry in New York. That’s what we are saying. Stop with the proclamations that it’s automatic and permanent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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This. This is really doing a disservice. No one is trying to scare anyone..just pointing out that there is a risk to being a SAHM who spends her time hosting playdates and sitting on charity boards. Those aren't job skills. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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And this risk is something that she probably knew about when she decided to be a lifetime SAHM, or maybe she didn't have another choice to start with. Why be so patronizing. I am a WOHM and I know that it will be very hard for me to support the kids on my own should DH divorce me and take everything away and not pay CS. The risk of having an asshole spouse that will leave you out to dry exists for everyone, SAHMs and WOHMs, not all of us working are earning big bucks, many or us work because it takes 2 salaries to get by. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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One of the ego traps of private school, I assume. Even at PS 41, these people don't proliferate. Most of us work, many with fascinating jobs. It's an umc crowd, and distressingly non-diverse, but no one seems to have all the time or money in the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:16 PM Flag
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This! In public school, even in expensive areas you won't have obscene wealth in your face all the time, most people are Manhattan MC with SAHMs who do it all or 2 earner families. There are a few students with vacation homes and with moms wearing designer duds, but it's not nearly the level of wealth you describe, which is like Cinderella fantasy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:50 PM Flag
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Are you meeting these people through private school? I've never ever come in contact with such people, you describe. I live in an expensive area, our zoned school has many affluent parents and majority are at least Manhattan MC - professional with 6 figure incomes. There are lots of SAHMs, but not the uber wealthy kind that attends charity functions and has model like DHs and endless cash. Most don't have any help at all. In my 15 years of living in Manhattan I found it easy to avoid uber wealthy and being jealous of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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Yep, and no one has endless cash. One reason why there is such protest about the wealth tax is the issue of liquidity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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ha. So not true. IF you would be affected by a wealth tax as proposed you are very, very rich (it's a marginal tax after all). All you'd need to do it budget cash for taxes. If you are living on pure investment income and thus have that big a liquidity issue,yet have enough passive income to fall under the wealth tax, you are REALY REALLY REALLY rich [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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This. Most moms are working and those that don't are usually home with young children and/or clearly on a budget and careful with money. Being envious of the people the OP describes is like asking why a celebrity on Instagram has such an easy and fulfilling life. Granted my kids are in public school but still. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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I personally know people like this on the UES. That said they are certainly the minority of families at our school. Most moms work at least part time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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Sure. Particularly at the end of the long week with a weekend full of errands. However, this doesn't last forever, and you will have better social security, ideally more savings, and you'll have a professional track record you can use to leverage into better jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Follow-up on donor egg posting: How can a child who is born using a donor egg use 23 and Me to learn that they are from a donor egg? We have a friend who is contemplating using donor eggs and she isn't sure when she should tell the child, but she wants to make sure she does before the kid does something like a 23andMe test. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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She should tell the child from the beginning that she adopted the egg. If you wait they will feel they were lied to and that can be devastating. If they use 23 and me, they can see that they share a % of DNA with people who the kids KNOW (thought they knew) that they were not related to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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I have a friend who found a bunch of half siblings that way. She had no idea her parents had used donor sperm. Some of the half siblings did not know that they had been conceived that way and struggled with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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My sil did not come up as related to her siblings. She also was not Greek. She found out her dad was not her dad. She had relatives that were her parent's family friends growing up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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Donor egg mom here. When I did it, 15 years ago, virtually no one told. I was appalled. I told my dd from the beginning, in age-appropriate ways. I knew it was the morally right thing to do--people deserve to understand their genetic origins--but I also knew DNA testing was starting. My dd is completely comfortable, has pics and details of her donor, isn't interested in meeting her, but we leave that door open. She sometimes tells her friends she's donor kid when the subject of genetics comes up or someone asks why she has blonde hair (my husband was a blonde and hair color was very unimportant to us in choosing a donor anyway). It is #2,000 on her list of things to worry/bitch/be neurotic about. She considers herself 2,000% my daughter. Always, always tell. If your kid finds out--and they will, now that genetic tests are so easy to do--they will hate you, and they will be justified. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:22 PM Flag
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The friends I know who became parents in non-traditional ways made it part of their birth story from early on, emphasizing about how special they were and how much they were wanted because of the extra effort that they had to go through to become their parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm lonely. So much of my time has been spent on family (LD DD with depression) that now I find my heart aching for someone outside of my family to spend time with. Any books I can read on how to form friendships? Previously, my friends were made just by proximity..school, jobs, etc. My "friends" are all LD support mom friends. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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Anyone? How did you form friendships after your kids were out of the house? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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Take a class. Maybe photography, knitting, cooking or whatever. Join a gym or running club. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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It's harder to make friends after 30. I agree that a class, or some kind of organized group thing, is the way to go. You would at least get out of the house for a bit each week! GL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] What's the "dress code" in your office? Business casual? Business formal? Anything goes? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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Typically business casual but many of us of meetings, arbitrations and other more formal things going on throughout the week so the default a lot of the time is business formal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Our next door neighbors are having a huge Christmas party. Literally next door, we share a fence. They’re doing a big thing with rented tables/chairs, valet, the works. We’ve known them for 5 years, our kids are at the same schools, same ages, they play almost every weekend. A lot of families from both schools are invited ... but we’re not. Only us, we’re Jewish, and two other Jewish families were not invited. Not sure what to think. 73 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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They have Santa coming and afraid your kids will ruin it. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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No kids at the party. We celebrate Christmas and our kids believe in Santa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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^^you can easily see our tree from the street! It’s in a front window. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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You're Jewish and your kids believe in Santa???? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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And they have a tree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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I would say that I don't expect an invite but the optics of only excluding jews doesn't look awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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Maybe they accidentally left you off their email list? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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That’s what I assumed until I realized two other Jewish families were also “left off the email list” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:50 PM Flag
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She asked for my kids to come over yesterday! We speak multiple times a week and have been since the invites went out a couple weeks ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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I would say something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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What would you say? Why would you speak up? This is a party and the OP wasn't invited. Do you think she should bully her way into getting an invitation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Yeah, that’s not cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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Maybe they thought they should invite people who celebrate the holiday? It is dumb but maybe not purposeful to you or any other Jewish families? I remember when I had a tree ornament party I invited my friends who celebrated it because I thought my friends who were jewish would feel weird. But I spoke to my friends and invite everyone to my Christmas parties now. Maybe it was an overly cautious PC thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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We celebrate Christmas. We’ve exchanged gifts. They’ve seen our tree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. I thought you said you were Jewish? That really sucks then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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Technically true but in practice, barely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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Having a Christmas tree and swapping gifts is not a religious tradition. Many Jews do this. The best Xmas songs were written by Jews! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:12 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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There is a difference between "a lot of families" from the schools, and "all the families except the Jewish ones". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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If all of the Jewish families got together to celebrate a Jewish holiday, is that wrong? I don't think so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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I invite all my friends to my Hanukkah party, regardless of religion. Sounds like the party that OP is describing is a "holiday" party, not one that explicitly involves worshipping the birth of Jesus (though I could be wrong). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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It’s an excuse to drink. Just like most “Christmas” parties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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I am not sure. First she says a lot of families are invited and later she says all but Jewish families were invited. If everyone is invited but the Jewish families, that is wrong. If she is having a celebration with friends that share her religion, that is her business. I have seenthe Jewish families in my town get together for Jewish celebrations and I take no issue with this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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It’s not a religious event. It’s a drinking event. I was pretty clear with saying a lot of people (obviously can’t claim every single other person from school was invited) from school except for 3 Jewish couples were invited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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I asked a Jewish guy at the office if he wanted to do secret Santa in our small group after another Jewish friend in the group said he preferred that term to a holiday neutral term. He bristled at me mentioning “Santa” to him and got really insulted. I’m the opposite of a Christmas warrior. They just don’t want to insult you and they don’t know better. Call or knock on their door and bring a pie. Tell them you’re Jewish and you hope they don’t feel awkward about inviting you for that reason but you’re not asking for an invite. And a gag Hanukkah gift too if you want. They are trying to respect your religious beliefs. I wouldn’t invite Jewish people to a Christmas party either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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We’re not very religious at all. We celebrate Christmas, they see our tree. We’ve been at lots of holiday events with them over the years. Including taking our kids to visit Santa together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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The point I’m making is that we’re close friends and they know these things about us, that we celebrate, kids get gifts from Santa... there’s no way they could think we’d be offended by anything Christmas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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If this is the case, either if it is a mistake that you were not invited they are upset with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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Um, you May have been a little to emphatic in expressing that Christmas has nothing to do with Jesus. For all you know, they re-enact the nativity inside their home during the party. You would just giggle and gawk [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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I do know that they don’t do this and that they don’t attend church. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:47 PM Flag
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I know this might be difficult to understand, but I don’t think you appreciate that it is disrespectful to religious beliefs to feel that you can put up a tree and visit Santa and ignore the meaning of Christmas which is truly sacred to Christians. It sounds like you reject Christmas as a religious holiday and maybe it’s best not to go [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:32 PM Flag
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Giant eye roll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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Whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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Really? Christmas trees are not specifically Christian, it has to do with the winter solstice and goes back ages. So trees should be a moot point. I don't begrudge someone celebrating the birth of Christ (or any religious holiday), but to say that having a tree but not celebrating religiously is disrespectful is total bs. Btw, there are plenty of Christian families who do a tree and gifts on Xmas and egg hunts and hams on Easter but don't step into a church or even say grace, does that make them disrespectful? Celebrate what you want and worship what you want, but no one is claiming Christmas as a non-religious holiday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:49 PM Flag
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Not what I’m saying I meant to reject that there might be a religious aspect to the celebration of Christmas in their home. That they may view Christmas itself as a religious holiday. I don’t mean to bicker. I just think the neighbors meant I respect OP’s religion and OP seems to think that because she puts up a tree she celebrates all the relevant aspects of Christmas which is not true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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Op here clarifying again- We’re close friends. They don’t attend church. We don’t attend a temple or synagogue. We know this about each other and have done many holiday activities together over the years which I’m only mentioning to show that they have prior knowledge that we’re not offended by Christmas stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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I grew up Christian and rejected a proselytizing crusading organization while maintaining some family and cultural traditions that my children enjoy. (I converted in my early 20s and dh and I have since stopped practicing.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:49 PM Flag
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I'm Catholic and I think this is nonsense. Christmas is not about a tree and Santa. And the jews can totes party with me, they seem to get our weird guilt issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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+1 that is BS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:59 PM Flag
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This is very odd. What do you do during group prayer and during religious songs? What about people who feel that Christmas is a deeply religious holiday? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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I doubt the cardinal will be there doing holy communion. Unless the neighbors are evangelical, and even then, doubt this is a deeply religious event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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Stop being so disrespectful. Seriously. I suggested the pie earlier on. Recognize OP should acknowledge that it’s a religious holiday and not say “we like Santa too” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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Grow up. I’m not being disrespectful. Facts are facts. I highly sought this event is considered religious. A Christmas party? Yes. A time to reflect? Doubt it. I’m flagging this post because there has been someone on this weekend making underhanded comments about Jews and I’m sorry if no one else sees it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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Doubt, not sought [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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What? I’ve made a few comments. They have not been flag worthy. I mentioned the secret Santa at my office and the fact that Christmas is a religious holiday. I was trying to explain that they meant not to offend. Then expressing that it is a religious holiday. Next time I will just ignore. This is why your neighbors are not inviting you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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Hi, I’m the OP and the above comment wasn’t mine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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Do you invite them for Passover? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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We don’t celebrate Passover but we did invite them for an Easter egg hunt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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If you celebrate Christmas and Easter, your neighbors just do not like you. It has nothing to do with you being a Jew that celebrates Christis holidays. Either that or a mistake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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Yep. Since she’s been talking to me almost daily about other things and invited my daughter over yesterday I’ll keep waiting for my invite lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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But egg hunts involve children. Sounds like your relationship with these neighbors are kid-focused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:25 PM Flag
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I'm not OP, but I always invite non-Jews to my Passover. Yes, there is prayer and religious learning involved (and a lot of eating and singing), but it isn't expected that you have to be a believer in order to appreciate the ritual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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They probably don't understand what the appropriate thing is to do. I have some Jewish friends who would be livid if a "goy" invited them to a Xmas party, even though they are pretty secular and just culturally Jewish rather than remotely observant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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Really? I don’t know a single person like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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Fine, we clearly know different people. People can get very prickly around certain holidays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:15 PM Flag
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We're Jewish. We wouldn't attend a Xmas party, even though we aren't temple going Jews. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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Invite them over for a dreidel party...I'm half joking, but it might communicate that you see the holidays as a time to get together, not a religious event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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I think this is probably much less about your being Jewish and more about they just aren't as close with you -- as adults -- or don't want to socialize with you as much as the other people they have invited. Your kids are close, but this is an adult-only party. Stinks, as it's much nicer to be invited, but I'd take this personally and not politically/personally. Either way it sucks! Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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You’ve gotten a lot of replies so not even sure you’ll see this but honestly- why don’t you just ask the mom? You guys are friends, you’ve socialized before, the kids are frie de. It’s a tad awkward but no words than sitting there stewing and having it negatively affect the relationship anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:31 PM Flag
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NP: I disagree. Nothing good can come of asking why you were not invited to a social event, and OP lives next to these people/ has to interact with them through their children. Just be annoyed, realize that you're not as close as you thought you might be, and try to let it go. Cultivate other friendships. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Nope, that kind of thing festers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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What good could possibly come of a confrontation here? Most likely, the neighbor will apologize and give you a pity invite (to this or the next party she doesn't really want to invite you to). OP will be the needy neighbor they feel the need to invite or hide from. They aren't as good friends as OP obviously thinks they are, and that stinks, but moveon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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Not a confrontation. They've hung out together for 5 years. I would find is weird not to get an invite given how much they seem to enjoy one another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:02 PM Flag
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"Hey, neighbors.Did we do something to give offense? We noticed you are giving a Xmas party and we weren't invited." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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Super rude. You are not entitled to be invited to all your neighbors' gatherings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:02 PM Flag
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For reference they invited us to her 40th birthday party a few weeks after we met and we’ve invited each other to our gatherings since. They’ve never done a huge holiday party before though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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I honestly think that it is because they believe your family and the other Jewish families would be offended at an invite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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How did you hear about the party? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Is it possible that they are hosting the holiday event for an organization (church, civic club, preschool, work or professional organization) that you are not part of but many of the other school families are? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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You have two choices: Ask kindly/innocently if there's a reason you weren't invited or stew about it. There's really nothing else. If they thought they invited you but you never got the invite, they will stew about why you never showed up. Honesty is the best policy here where you are friends and you live next door. Just rip the bandaid off, in a polite way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know where I could get a photo blow up to canvas or poster (2x3’ ish) in NYC? Trying not to spend a fortune. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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Costco [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Michaels on the UWS with a coupon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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cvs is the cv-BEST [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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Send them that and let us know when they hire you ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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Staples [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:11 PM Flag
[ - ] I need an activity to distract me from stress of medical issues. NYC 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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what do you enjoy? budget? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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Go out to lunch and a movie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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broadway! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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Buy gifts for shelter kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Bake! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:08 PM Flag
[ - ] What is an appropriate gift card amount for a kindergarten teacher in a Brooklyn public? I'm unsure of what to donate to the pooled class gift. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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Whatever you feel like. I've donated as little as $20 to the teacher I really didn't like. Lat year we gave $100, I really loved our teacher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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25 is normal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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I've been the class parent a few times and the amounts people donate really vary. I've seen $10 and $100, with everything in between. Just go with what you're comfortable with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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give a lot teachers are underpaid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:41 PM Flag
[ - ] i was "that asshole" yesterday. got cake at balthazar cafe with dd, she was nagging, i was exhausted, place was packed. so instead of saying - please let us out, i announced - hey, everyone, we need to get out of here. and then someone said - why cant you say excuse me? so i turned around and told that poor kid - go fuck yourself. with my dd watching. 50 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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Try to be a better person, and stop making excuses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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^^"Bad days" show your true character. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Oh STOP. Everyone is allowed to have a bad day and lose their temper occasionally. Her "true character" is that she acknowledges she screwed up and is trying to do better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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I didn't say people weren't allowed to have bad days. A lot of people have been worse than "tired" and yet refrain from telling kids to fuck themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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Yeah...you aren't getting it. The person who said "you could just say excuse me" was intentionally provocative. You being so rigid, critical and unempathetic to a fellow parent on a bad day says a great deal about your character. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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I get it. You think it's OK to tell people to fuck themselves because a "bad day" to you is being tired while buying cake. What a tragic existence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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maybe the person was having a bad day rather than being intentionally provocative? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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Also, OP started it in the first place! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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This! The "kid" gave the OP the opportunity to correct herself, instead she made things worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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I've never seen my parents tell someone to go fuck yourself and I'm sure they've had bad days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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where they heck did you get that op is trying to do better? She didn't say that at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:58 PM Flag
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oh well. thank g*d for the anonymity of new york, you will never see that person again. your dd, on the other hand, needs to hear from you that that was NOT the way you had hoped to handle a stressful situation, and that in the future you will do xxxx. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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i think you mean, you were "one of those assholes". not singular [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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np: no, OP is correct, i.e. in the reply to "don't be that a$$hole" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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Yikes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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You are not alone. I’ve straight up pushed people out of my way on the subway. Screamed “MOVE LADY” at some moron standing blocking the whole stairs as my train was pulling in. Picked up someone’s backpack and put it in their lap so I could sit on the bus (I was very pregnant). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:25 PM Flag
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Like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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OP sounds high-strung. You actually sound crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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^And btw you may someday get punched for shoving a stranger and you might deserve it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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I might have broke a woman's nose for shoving me. Some suburban transplant wants to play at being a bitch? Fine. But I'm meaner than they are. Elizabeth looks really shocked when she realizes some of us hit back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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That’s highly disturbing behavior at track level (let alone anywhere else). You might think it’s “taking charge” but I hope your aggressiveness never results in someone falling into the tracks or other injury. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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You said that to a kid? Wow that's terrible. Stop making excuses [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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he was 22 -25 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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Once i was walking up the stairs from the subway and some asshole said “could you walk any slower?” I turned arpund and showed him my 9 month pregnant belly and asked if he had a mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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i raced out of there with DD on her scooter, and then 2 seconds later that wave of "holy shit, what's wrong with me" hit me. i wanted to go back in and apologize, but i didnt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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Did you apologize to your DD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:14 PM Flag
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I wouldn't have apologized to that jerk who criticized your walking speed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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Great response! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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You are human, we all make mistakes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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I feel like urbanbaby is one of those places that you could say you handled something perfectly and a troll is LOOKING for a reason to tell you you were an asshole. It's very weird to me. Urbanbaby is like the town from footloose. I don't know why so few people on here have a sense of their own asshole-ness, imperfections - or whatever but; new york is stressful, life is stressful. Talk to your dd, 25 is not a kid, they'll be fine - life moves on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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I'm a naive new yorker and I don't think I've ever purposefully escalated a situation over nothing. Maybe it's because I'm LMC from Brooklyn, but telling someone to go fuck themselves seems like a good way to get stabbed. I've had bad days, but bad days don't make me stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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NP I'm not a new yorker but agree with this. OP needs anger management therapy or to get on medication for depression. OP, take this as a sign. You need help. Whatever you are carrying inside or trying to do now is not working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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Yup. Also it's one thing to mouth off when you're alone and you're the only one who's going to bear the brunt of pissing off a crazy, but it's insane to put your child in that position with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:17 PM Flag
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Oh please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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No, there is really no defending that. OP was obnoxious and then flipped out when someone reminded her that she could have been more polite. She was already at a 9 on a temper scale when she walked in to the bakery. She needs help. That kind of anger will kill you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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You seem to have some issues yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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A bad day isn't an excuse to say that to a kid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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Come on. We have all been an asshole sometimes. Just forget it and move on. Happy Holidays!;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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I've never told someone to go fuck themselves. Have you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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I have! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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OP acknowledges that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:08 PM Flag
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I didn't see that. Where? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:12 PM Flag
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Well...she says in the thread he was 22. What she did was not okay but I'm not worried about him, I'd be more concerned if she does this regularly in front of her dd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:06 PM Flag
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Try harder in front of your daughter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:50 PM Flag
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Make it into a teachable moment. I would talk to your DD about what happened and explain that you were stressed out but didn't handle the situation well. I lost my temper once in front of my DD with a psycho driver who was screaming and swearing at me after almost hitting me, DD and DH in the crosswalk (we had the right of way), and I told my DD that I should have just walked away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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You were agitated, someone acted inappropriately and you snapped. It happened and it’s done. And not unusual on this crowded island. Move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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I totally disagree that someone telling you to say "excuse me" instead of rudely announcing "Hey I need to get out of here". It's not the end of the world, but OP acted badly and she knows it. Don't make post-hoc excuses for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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It happens. Try harder next time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:04 PM Flag
[ - ] I need to buy a gift card for a coffee place near Georgetown campus. So far I found no cafes that have a website except Starbucks. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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mom and pop stores do have internet, or if they do , it's only for hours services etc. they don't invest in GC. Just call them and ask them to mail one to your recipient- offer them a fee for this if you really want it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:14 PM Flag
[ - ] This is a random question: does playtex no longer sell boxes of only super plus tampons (not "sport"). I can only find the boxes that are half super/half super +. It's driving me nuts! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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some Walgreens do. I am annoyed at how hard I have to hunt for cardboard applicators. those plastic applicators are such a waste of plastic. there are billions of them in the ocean too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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I had to order the Ultras online. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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They do, but I too had to resort to ordering them online. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any middle schools in NYC that teach algebra and geometry and get kids on track to not be overwhelmed in HS? Or do all the parents of kids who get into advanced public/private HSs tutor their kids or take supplemental math? 116 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:47 AM Flag
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Supplemental. Unless they’re at Mark Twain or nest or hunter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:57 AM Flag
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Can you get into Nest in MS if you didn't start there in elementary? I know you cannot in Hunter. Not sure about Mark Twain [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:03 AM Flag
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You can enter Hunter at 7th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:12 AM Flag
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you can get into nest in 6th, but there are only about 20 seats for no-IEP kids, citywide [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:07 AM Flag
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you can get into nest in 6th, but there are only about 20 seats for no-IEP kids, citywide [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:07 AM Flag
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Is there a G&T test like they do in elementary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:18 AM Flag
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And kids get offered seats at nest for 7th to backfill those that left for H. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:24 AM Flag
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Most offer 9 th grade algebra. I don’t know of any, even in ny area burbs that offer 10 th grade geometry in 8 th grade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:31 AM Flag
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Geometry is what schools teach in 9th in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:43 AM Flag
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not true. Most teach algebra. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:09 AM Flag
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Only if you took algebra in 8th. The standard non excelled curriculum is Algebra in 9th, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 11:40 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:27 PM Flag
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The problem with doing algebra and geometry in middle school is that colleges expect kids to take at least 3 if not 4 yrs of math. So I don't agree that putting kids in algebra and geometry in middle school is getting them on track to "not be overwhelmed" in high school. Anyway, in many areas of the country now, algebra and geometry is no longer even offered in middle school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:32 AM Flag
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Also the kids who qualify to take algebra and geometry in middle school are actually on track to take AP Calculus in 10th grade. Not exactly less overwhelming than being in geometry in 10th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:33 AM Flag
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You are completely wrong. There is no reason to pile up stuff in 10th grade, that's what causes burn out. You can start learning algebra at earlier age, it's not really rocket science, and you don't need any advanced arithmetic to understand early concepts at all, same with geometry. Younger kids are perfectly capable and if you stretch it and cover the basics earlier, you are not piling up all the classes together in HS, so your kid actually has some life outside of school while still taking all the max AP possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:43 AM Flag
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I'm sorry but you are actually mistaken. Have you looked at the math that kids are doing in middle school? It has algebra and geometry in it. I have a 9th grader who is in integrated Math 1 this year and I looked very carefully at his math the last few years. Pushing kids to take a high school level integrated math 1 or Algebra 1 class in middle school is fine if the kid is ready, but don't think that it will give them less stress in high school. It is pushing them ahead so the math they take in high school will actually be harder. It isn't getting them out of anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:55 AM Flag
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I disagree with your statement "It is pushing them ahead so the math they take in high school will actually be harder. It isn't getting them out of anything." How would being ahead make your HS math harder? Aren't they still taking the same math with everyone else and same AP classes. If you have to take 2 fewer classes of math in HS how does this make it harder, you split the load. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:04 AM Flag
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They won't take 2 fewer classes in high school - that is why. To be competitive in college admissions, they need to take math each year in high school. You can take AP Stat instead of AP calculus and for some kids that is easier. But AP Stat still counts as a math class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:07 AM Flag
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Ok, great, that's what I mean, take AP classes instead of rehashing Algebra 1. You have higher chances getting into colleges with AP classes, isn't it the point? So, to not be miserable taking AP classes, take basic algebra and geometry out of the way earlier and not waste time on in in HS, move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:14 AM Flag
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They would be penalized if they don't keep taking math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:20 AM Flag
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They do keep taking math if taking AP classes, how is this no so? And those who don't take APs know well that they have no shot at competitive colleges. When it comes to low hanging fruit type of colleges you will get in regardless if you took your Algebra earlier or later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:29 AM Flag
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I'm sorry, are you the same person talking about how kids are so stressed, so they should take algebra and geometry so they aren't stressed in high school? But then you want them to take AP Calc AB, AP Calc BC, AP Stat in high school so they get college credit? But then they will be less stressed? Or are there two people posting here with different concerns? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:41 AM Flag
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I do believe that kids will be less stressed when they take fewer classes. If they put Algebra 1 and Geometry behind them in MS, they have 2 fewer classes to take in HS, so that taking all the AP classes won't be as overwhelming, they will also have a stronger foundation. Those who don't want to take advanced math can maybe graduate HS earlier, get GED, go to community college and then transfer to a 4 year college, they will have fewer loans and faster path to independence. Why delay things if kids are capable and especially if this was offered before? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:24 AM Flag
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How would that be less overwhelming? Every school in NYC offers Algebra in MS. I do not know who offers algebra. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:30 PM Flag
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that is also not true. every MS does not offer Algebra. and every kid in the school is not offered the opportunity to take it. Superintendent/honors classes kids are the only ones who get to take the class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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" they have 2 fewer classes to take in HS" ==> this is NOT TRUE. They will have to take 4 years of math in HS if they want to apply to any decent college. This means they are not taking less classes. They are taking more advanced classes in their place. Instead of taking regents math in Fresh, Soph, and junior year and an AP in senior, they may be starting with AP Classes in Soph, junior and Senior. AP classes are no joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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And what is wrong with this exactly? Most kids who do want to get into a decent college WILL take AP classes, so taking 2 fewer basic classes while you are also taking AP is doing to make it easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Nothing is wrong with it but it doesn't make your schedule easier. It actually makes your schedule harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:01 PM Flag
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Ok, let's agree to disagree. I covered all college math and sciences without being burnt out by 4 hour HW or anything like it, I found HS easy. I want the same for my kids, not the nightmare described on UB. Is that ok with you? Or do I have to inevitably agree that your way and genEd DOE way is better? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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It isn't my way. But high school has changed since you graduated and it will be hours of homework. The work load is crazy now. Pushing ahead of the main track in math will not lead to less stress if your kid is planning to go to competitive colleges. If they are planning to go to community college for two years and then college, then that would be different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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There are schools without hours of HW where you can take AP classes, the goal is to find those. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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That’s not how it works. The take math class. It gets higher and higher level. If they max out at HS (rare but happens) they take at CC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:12 PM Flag
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You have an agenda. You have posted before. You need to accept that your opinion isn’t shared by everyone. Parent of student who is more than capable in math but prefers other subjects in high school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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I think her opinion is not shared by anyone. It doesn't make any sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:07 PM Flag
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Because you work for DOE? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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I don't even live on the east coast. I do have a kid in high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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I am specifically asking about NYC, and in NYC there is a craziness to test 4 year olds into G&T programs if you want any type of academic challenge later on. Then there is the whole obsession over MS applications, followed by testing into competitive selective HSs. You may not understand why parents do this to themselves or their kids, but there are VERY MANY that do, which should tell you something. The bar in NYC public GenEd is set pretty low. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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But, this is very similar in major cities across the US. The push to test in to a GATE program, how slow the learning AND the pull of bright kids/engaged parents out of regular public schools in to GATE programs - this is the same. Then magnet/gifted high school applications, and then the massive amounts of homework for college bound kids. It is very high. My school district has a homework policy that equals 2 hrs/night and that is for the "regular" track. Any honors and AP classes are specifically excluded from the homework policy because there is no limit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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I don’t work for the DOE. I DO live on east coast with mid in public HS. IM NOT of the same mindset as op. Go figure (pun intended) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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sorry, 4 yrs of math during high school. They don't want to see a kid who doesn't take any math or statistics in 11th and 12th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:35 AM Flag
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But then you are concentrating all the more intense math into the 4 years that you can stretch over additional 2 years. What exactly are kids doing in MS after covering arithmetic in elementary? Why no start geometry and algebra and not have 4 hour HW when doing advanced math classes in HS that can transfer to college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:45 AM Flag
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Can you restate this question more clearly? I think you should look at a common core math curriculum for 7th and 8th grade because they actually have a lot of algebra and geometry that they are learning, so they are well prepared for Algebra 1 or Integrated Math 1 when they get to it, whether it is in 8th or 9th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:58 AM Flag
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Are you saying kids learn Algebra 1 and Geometry for 3 years then? 2 years in MS and 1 year in HS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:15 AM Flag
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I am saying that they get a really firm foundation in algebra and geometry so that they are successful when they take either Algebra 1 or Integrated Math 1 when they get to it. There is actually a strong statistical correlation between how well kids do in Algebra 1 (or Integrated Math 1) and how well they do in Calculus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:23 AM Flag
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Do you really need 2 years for a firm foundation before you take the actual class? I don't think so. Sounds like fluff filler to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:32 AM Flag
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You have to kind of move away from seeing math classes like merit badges and more to seeing it comprehensively. This is why my school district changed to having Integrated Math 1, 2, and 3 in high school. They don't even call it Algebra 1, Geometry and Algebra 2 anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:43 AM Flag
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I am seeing that students that have interest in math and want to take advanced classes are forced to take them all at once in a shorter period of time, whereas they definitely would benefit from covering some of this material earlier and are certainly capable of it. Sounds like those who don't get into Hunter and Nest are getting the short end of the stick having to to through regular MS and especially if they get into the competitive HS like Stuy, they are overloaded. If by seeing it comprehensively, you are asking me to be sensitive to the needs of kids who are underperforming and should not be forced to take Algebra/Geometry in MS, then I understand, they need more time or they simply don't care about math, let them take their path. But students wanting more advanced math in MS should be able to take it and should be able to opt out of these classes in HS to take more advanced math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:08 AM Flag
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No, what I meant is that the curriculum is more comprehensive. In most school districts, the kids on track to take algebra in 9th grade are taking the same common core middle school math but 2 yrs are compressed in to 1 yr. They don't skip the middle school math. They have a compressed year. I don't know what NYC does so I can't speak to that. Also I'm saying "comprehensive" talking about the education all of the kids are getting - even the kids who are in Integrated math 1 or algebra 1, and you are hearing something about "underperforming"? I am not sure why. It used to be that teachers would recommend kids for advanced math in middle school. Then it was teachers could recommend or parents could sign a waiver, saying they knew their child was not recommended but the parent wanted the kid there anyway. Now, you usually have to go to a private school if you want to do that because many districts won't let parents choose it anymore. You can read up about the history with math education in the last 30 yrs. It is all available online. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:18 AM Flag
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^^^ sorry kids on track to take algebra in 8th grade, not 9th grade^^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:18 AM Flag
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NYC does same. Gen ed ms covers materials in 7th and 8th grade, then algebra in 9th. Honors classes covers the 7th and 8th grade materials in a compressed format in 7th, so kids are taking algebra in 8th. If you look at the go math books most schools use, the honors /accelerate 7th grade is basically the 2 gen ed books combined. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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Thank you! I thought it was this way because this is how it has been handled in the two different school districts where we lived. It must be part of common core now that the classes are compressed (2 yrs => 1 yr) in middle school for the accelerated math track. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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Perhaps I should have said "see it more holistically" instead of "comprehensively" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:21 AM Flag
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In college you take math that's higher level and needed for your major, it's not the same math taught in HS even in advance AP classes. If your major doesn't require math, then you don't take any beyond the standard core. To opt out of generic college math you can take it in HS and to be prepared for it in HS and not overwhelmed you are better off starting with basics of algebra and geometry in MS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:41 AM Flag
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I'm saying that to be competitive GETTING IN to college, you need to have taken at least 3 yrs of math, if not 4 in high school. This means taking Integrated Math 1, 2, 3, or Algebra, geometry, Algebra 2, then Precalculus, AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC, AP Statistics. All the way from kindergarten to 8th grade now, math has algebraic and geometric concepts so I don't know what you mean about how you need to "start off with the basics of algebra and geometry" in middle school. The basics of algebra and geometry are part of the common core math curriculum for middle school. And FTR, districts moved to having Algebra 1/Integrated Math 1 in 9th grade instead of middle school BECAUSE so many kids were dropping math in high school and not continuing to learn math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:51 AM Flag
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Why colleges care WHEN you took the math as long as you took it? I also don't understand how kids could opt out from learning math in HS completely if they did algebra 1 in MS, it's not like you can breeze through with just Algebra 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:57 AM Flag
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Kids are competing against other kids. By dropping math in high school I meant after they took Algebra 2 or Calculus, which is what a kid who had Algebra in 7th or 8th grade would do. Usually kids have to have 2 yrs of math in high school to graduate. Colleges want to see that the kids were intellectually curious and kept taking math. There are endless articles online about this, you can google them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:04 AM Flag
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Are you saying that colleges would not accept a kid who took the same exact classes but a couple of years earlier? If a college accepts a kid with just Algebra 2 and Calculus as their most advanced options, why would they make a difference between a kid who did Algebra 1 in MS vs. the one who did Algebra 1 in HS? It should make no difference, neither kid is super ambitious when it comes to math, the kids who are ambitious about math would take all of these courses you listed in HS, not just end with Algebra 2 and Calc. They would take them regardless if they had access to Algebra 1 in MS. Some kids show more interest in math than others, but when they take their classes has no meaning in their interest, what has a meaning is where they stop and the end result is the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:11 AM Flag
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You are all hot on this subject but I think you don't have enough experience in this area. It makes a difference. You can read about it online. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:14 AM Flag
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If it is true, then it's completely stupid and irrational. Colleges should not care about kids cramming all math into 4 years of HS. When it comes to competitive colleges, they aren't going to take kids without AP classes and more advanced math, so these kids who stop taking math are not in the game anyway regardless when they took Algebra 1. And for those with heavy AP and other credentials I am sure taking more math in MS isn't going to be a deal breaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:21 AM Flag
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There are many things about college admissions right now that are irrational! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:29 AM Flag
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the point is they want to see that the kid can handled advanced work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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By taking lower level classes that kids can take in MS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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Hunter, Nest and others offer more advanced programs, so are you saying that their students would be at a disadvantage having taken Algebra and Geometry before HS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:22 AM Flag
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Of course not! The kids keep on taking math usually though. Of course kids who are very gifted and high achieving do well in math in middle school. One of my child's friends is taking AP Calculus as a 9th grader. The thing is, these kids don't stop after they take the min required for graduation - they keep on taking math classes. Sometimes they have to go to a college to keep taking math when they exhaust what the school offers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:27 AM Flag
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This is the reason these schools start algebra/geometry earlier, because the student body wants to take more advanced math in HS and is capable of it. How about raising the standard in regular schools too, many kids there want the same thing, shouldn't they have the option even if it's not mandatory for everyone? Or should NYC parents have only the tedious path of testing for K selective schools, then trying to get into selective MS, then HS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:56 AM Flag
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The current trend is in direct response to the negative outcomes that were a result of the "algebra for everyone" movement that came before the current "algebra for no one or almost no one" movement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:00 AM Flag
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What were the negative outcomes of the algebra for everyone movement? And why is there no middle ground? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:31 AM Flag
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look it up, there are articles all over the internet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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The world is doing it, many of us took it, so what's the harm, please summarize this in one sentence if it's so important to you to convince others of incredible dangers for the young mind to be taking algebra/Geometry in MS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Once again you are attributing personal motives and beliefs to me that aren't there. This subject has been written about endlessly in articles because it is controversial in cities when the changes have happened. I tried to tell you some of the reasons why, but you blew them off. Clearly you need to have the joy of discovering more information on this topic yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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Again you are going around in circles leaving it up to me to discover some profound truth about terrible dangers of early math teaching, my guess is that this is your personal interpretation and you cannot really stand by it well enough to summarize it in a few words. Given that I am not alone seeking same info in NYC, and you might be that poster who doesn't even live in NY state, I don't think your opinion is of value to me. You do you and I will continue pursuing what I think is better for my family. I stand by my opinion that algebra and geometry are easy enough for young teens to take. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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your questions make no sense . the point is they dont care *when* you take algebra, in hS or Ms. but they want to see you taking math for 4 years in HS. which means you are taking AP classes (harder) in HS. you can't just not take math the last 2 years because you are ahead. it doesn't help, it will hurt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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Competitive colleges won't take kids who didn't take AP classes anyway, moot point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:12 AM Flag
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What does this have to do with this topic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:17 AM Flag
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Everything. The reason kids are burnt out is because of trying to have competitive college resumes, so they pile up AP classes. To not be miserable taking more advanced math in HS that colleges seem to look favorably on, it's better to start Algebra 1 and Geometry in MS, so that you don't have to do these classes in HS and can take APs instead. Even for kids not shooting for competitive colleges there is an advantage to taking AP classes, they get to graduate from college maybe with a double major or go to grad school earlier. If a kid is capable of learning these concepts earlier, and apparently many do, then why not take advantage of more streamlined education? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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Education philosophies swing one direction and then the other. Perhaps in another 20 yrs this will be how things work. Right now, I don't think anyone has their kid take algebra and geometry in middle school in order to make high school less stressful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:32 AM Flag
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Also, just to add, I really REALLY wanted my ds to be able to get to Calculus and take that in high school. I stressed out a lot when my school district made these changes. In the end while middle school math has not been hard for him, the curricula has been comprehensive. I can see that he is better prepared for high school math classes than I was. And my younger ds, who started with common core math curricula in 1st grade will be even more prepared. I was really stressed out about the changes but they have been very positive and in the end, both of my kids are very well prepared in math. The classes are much better now than what I had back in the 80s and 90s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:36 AM Flag
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Then why are kids suffering in HS, why all these posts about insane load of classes and 4 hour HW and endless grind if this is so much better now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:10 AM Flag
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The new direction you are talking about doesn't apply to all schools in every state, it doesn't even apply to all schools in NYC. Many parents do worry about their kids stress levels in HS as evident by these boards, and I believe part of it has to do with too many classes being crammed into HS for kids wanting to do APs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:41 AM Flag
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You are adamant about MS not teaching algebra 1 and Geometry obviously and that it should be delayed until HS, so for the kids who don't care much about math anyway would have some filler showing their supposed math enthusiasm to college admissions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:58 AM Flag
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What? No. You are jumping to conclusions that aren't there. I disagree with the idea conveyed in the OP that having kids take algebra 1 and geometry in middle school would lead them to not be as stressed out in high school. I mean, maybe if our education system including college admissions were different. But that is not the case in the system we are in now. Kids who are ready and able to take algebra 1 and geometry in middle school should be able to do it. Some kids are ready for these classes. I don't think that most kids are ready for it though, and I don't think it will make high school easier for them. But you do you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:06 AM Flag
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The kids who are ready to take on a load of math AP classes are generally ready for Algebra and Geometry in MS, those who are not ready for algebra in MS are probably not the kids who would be taking most advanced math in HS, so why not at least let some kids take it and opt out in HS while not making it mandatory for all? Seems like in this system you can do you, but I cannot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:44 AM Flag
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No, I had to give up what I wanted. I posted that above. Anytime you are choosing school districts or private schools, it is a balancing act. Actually because most kids aren't allowed to take algebra and geometry in middle school, most kids won't get to the very most advanced classes like multivariable calculus and linear algebra. What I disagree with is that it would be "less stressful" to have kids take algebra and possibly geometry in middle school to get them to AP classes sooner in the math pathway in high school. That premise is what I disagree with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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I went through this path and I found taking advanced courses in HS to be pretty easy. You can disagree with it all you want, but I am sure if I had to wait to take algebra till HS it would have meant more workload or having to take fewer college level classes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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Yes. This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:09 PM Flag
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true. if you take the regents classes in ms, that means you are taking math AP classes in HS. earlier than later. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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Some schools offer algebra in grade 8 : Wagner salk ppas, I am sure there are others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:33 AM Flag
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Our experience has been to use tutors to get from a B to an A in a class. Sometimes to off set a below par teacher or one your kid doesn’t click with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:45 AM Flag
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My kid took algebra in MS and is not overwhelmed by geometry in a TT private HS. Regular old MS in lower Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:51 AM Flag
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Somebody said that in regular MS algebra is no longer taught because kids started to opt out of math classes in HS, so it's been moved to 9th grade. When you have to start with Algebra I in 9th grade and also Geometry and other bunch of stuff doesn't it explain why kids who want loads of AP credit have tons of HW or have no lives? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:59 AM Flag
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Many MS do Algebra and take Regents for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:04 AM Flag
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NP I said that, and what I actually said was that this change has happened in some areas. There are major cities and many school districts where this change has happened. In some school districts it is "test in" where you have to pass a test to get in to algebra in middle school and in others it is a blanket thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:10 AM Flag
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Thanks for the info, so you just have to find out which schools allow the test and offer the classes and which just don't offer it at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:17 AM Flag
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I am really confused by all your comments. My dcs took pre-algebra in 7th and then algebra in 8th. HS started off with geometry in 9th and algebra in 10th. Public school not in NY. Is this not the same for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 11:38 AM Flag
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They don’t offer algebra to all students in 8 th tread in ny, usually just to the kids who did well in 7 th grade math. Some school hou have to test in, others offer to honors classes only. A few, offer to all- but you know that when you apply to middle schol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 11:47 AM Flag
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If you were able to take Algebra AND geometry in middle school, it would only be to the more advanced students who would end up by taking more advanced/ harder math in highschool via more AP math. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 11:51 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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Yes, this is what I am inquiring about, I took Algebra and Geometry at a younger age than HS and I remember that it wasn't difficult, especially Geometry. I later took more advanced math in HS and only struggled for a brief period of time in my last year with some more advanced Calculus concepts, but I still aced it at the end when I got someone else other than my teacher explain it. I am not a genius and I didn't take any advanced math in college, I had a major not requiring it. Given how many bright kids are in NYC and the demand for selective HS and AP classes I am sort of surprised why general MS is not enthusiastic offering algebra/geometry at least by choice. I get it that there are a few selective schools that have different curriculum, but spots are very limited and there are too many kids applying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:22 PM Flag
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My dcs MS bad Algebra in8th for honors students. No geometry. We did not tutor. My child was/is fine in math at SHS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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Our Catholic has been doing algebra all throughout 8th. They’ve touched a little on geometry but not much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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Speyer: algebra in 7th grade, geometry in 8th grade. For many public and private HS, kids sit for a math placement test for 9th grade. Speyer get a lot of flack on UB; math instruction is strong and prepares kids for HS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Do they accept kids only in elementary or there are entry points for MS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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Entry points for MS, 5th and 6th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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Does Speyer do FA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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Almost all gift MS program (like the Citywides Anderson, BSI or local MS superintendent program/G&T, Mark Twain) offer Regents algebra in 8th grade (along with some other regents like Living Environment). Gen ed classses - not so much. I dont know who offers geometry - though we know kids who go right into trig in 9th so they must have taken Geometry in MS somewhere (private/0. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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That's what we have to target, my kids are in regular elementary although were offered G&T spots and also passed Hunter R2. But we didn't get CW, so stayed in a zoned school like many others. My 4th grader did very well on state tests last year, so keeping fingers crossed and working on perfect attendance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:31 PM Flag
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Ok, if you are real - I majored in engineering, and excelled in 1st year calculus and algebra (maybe 1/3 of our 800-strong class struggled). My dc is at an SHS, came from a non-rigorous MS. What I see is that the kids coming from Anderson/Nest/MS54/Salk have Regents Algebra, sometimes Geometry and also Living Environment, so they can finish more APs by the end of 10th and be on track to get more APs than my dc by senior year. This is all true. However, in our opinion (and my DH has a PhD in Physics), Regents Algebra/Geometry can be done in 9th grade, and our dc is really not at a disadvantage in math. No tutoring except for ISEE/SHSAT. The reason is that algebra and geometry as taught in the U.S. is not very hard! I did much of HS under the UK GCSE system, before college. IMO, all of Regents-level algebra and geometry can easily be taught in 1 year, whether it's 7th grade, 8th grade or 9th grade. The issue is how well that math is taught - going back to how many in my freshman class struggled even though we had the same background and grades in HS calculus & algebra. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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^^ if you are an MS in an "advantaged area" - basically any MS that is majority white/Asian in NYC, they'll get regents algebra by the end of 8th. It is true that the vast majority of MS in NYC don't offer this, and it doesn't matter for their kids because they're not going to SHS or another rigorous HS - that's another problem in and of itself, which the city doesn't know know or want to fix. In our case, our dc is in the lowest track math possible at an SHS and I'm not stressed about it, because dc will have calculus BC by the end of HS but dc won't have all 3 APs in science (bio/chem/phys) which is ok, because dc doesn't like bio anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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NP My dc is at a competitive suburban high school (9th grade). He is on the middle math track - where most of the kids are - very low % of kids took algebra in middle school because the bar is very high to get in to it and only one entry point. He transferred in so missed the boat on that track. There are 3 AP science classes but other honors science classes. Science is his thing but you can't take an AP science until at least 11th grade, and because of prereqs you would have to take two sciences a year for two years to be able to get all 3 AP sciences. I am not sure that anyone even does that. Maybe a few kids. I am not sure that AP sciences are even the best for kids super in to science. I don't like the idea of pushing college coursework but with massive homework levels down to high school tbh. I have a STEM degree and the push for huge numbers of APs just seem like a race to nowhere. I don't really see the point with the teach the test/AP racket thing. I would prefer my kid take the honors science classes instead but I will really have to look at the curricula these classes are using before we decide on his schedule for next year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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I never pushed my kids and we went to a zoned school to avoid commute to G&T and give them the idyllic childhood with neighborhood school community, it was more important to me. But seeing how it progressed, I am getting more disappointed and just voicing my opinion. Of course you are entitled to yours and I respect it, I am just looking to what's better for my family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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I get it. We are all just working within the confines of the system and trying to figure it out. I have no issue with kids taking algebra and geometry in middle school, but it isn't going to reduce HW levels and stress in high school to do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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Depends on a HS, there were threads on that too, many of them. Not all have crazy HW loads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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I am real. I didn't take any advanced math in college and my major wasn't math heavy, I essentially took all the math I needed in MS/HS, and I also didn't study very hard, nothing like 4 hour HW horror described routinely by UB parents, I took AP level sciences and math in HS, college was easier, as I concentrated on my important subjects. My kids are in regular elementary school where they are bored out of their minds, math is very slow there, sorry for not being PC about it. We tried Hunter and CW, but didn't get in despite the scores, happens to many kids here. We got a placement at district G&T but didn't take it due to commute and the fact that our school is very highly regarded. Now we have to try to get into a competitive MS from the looks of it to not have to wait till 9th grade to take what I consider very manageable math classes for young teens of average intelligence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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Schools give hours of homework now and your experience would be very different if you had graduated from high school in the last few years. You could try pulling your kids out and homeschooling - that is what people do when they are unhappy with the system as a whole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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Or they move elsewhere, apparently there are options out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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Yes. I know some people send their kids to boarding schools for this reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] My daughter has been suffering from persistent relational aggression - ie Classic Mean girl behavior - at her middle school. I’m very disappointed in the school’s response and inability to nip this in the bud. It’s been happening since mid September at least. Anyone have experience with this? 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 12.08.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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What do you expect the school to accomplish? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:01 AM Flag
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Develop a protocol of consequences versus allowing it to continue to happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:12 AM Flag
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Stop using "mean girl". It is so sexist. When boys exhibit the same behavior, we simply call it bullying or aggression, and those terms are good enough for girls, too. There should not be a separate standard for girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:01 AM Flag
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Can you tell us more? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:08 AM Flag
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Persistent targeting / humiliation / encouraging others to ostracize her in order to cement her perceived sense of social status and importance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:18 AM Flag
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I dont need the definition of relational aggression. Sometimes kids and parents overreact to things that are said. It seems like you are making it very obvious to her that you are upset and maybe you need to focus on strategies to help her cope as well and engage the school. I was asking for a specific example of what someone said or did to her that is an example of this to see what suggestions we can offer. If it is private, switch her. If it is public, change her. Is that what you want to hear? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:31 AM Flag
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I'm sure everyone is more disappointed in the parental response and inability to nip this in the bud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:08 AM Flag
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What does that mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:11 AM Flag
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MP guessing the can’t fix this. Parents raise children. Not schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:15 PM Flag
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Is this a troll/joke post? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:19 AM Flag
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No. I should have known better than to expect any guidance on this site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:21 AM Flag
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Did you right the last two posts below? They all sound similar to this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:24 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:26 AM Flag
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Nope just a misunderstanding. Multiple posters (including me!) thought your kid was the bully [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:14 AM Flag
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I’m sorry for what your dd is experiencing, and I am sorry you are getting such shitty responses here. Of course there should be some recourse via school if your child is being bullied. Lately it seems like a lot of the normal people have left UB and you get a lot of intentionally nasty or unhelpful replies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:29 AM Flag
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Her kid is the one bullying and she wants the school to fix it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:30 AM Flag
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Or: really? That isn’t how I read it. Maybe I am wrong... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:33 AM Flag
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Her kid is suffering from this “condition” called persistent relational aggression. I take that as a specific condition that her kid has, not one being directed at her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:35 AM Flag
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No, I think I read it right. Her dd is the target. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:36 AM Flag
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Okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:38 AM Flag
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Unbelievable. I know what it’s called because I’m researching this topic non-stop to help my daughter. People like you really give this site a bad name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:41 AM Flag
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Thanks, and you’re right. I see that clearly now. I haven’t been on the site in a while. Nice to see a normal and thoughtful response. There’s real suffering going on from the insidious behavior of this one particular girl who is motivated by encouraging others to exclude and embarrass my daughter. This stuff is serious and emotionally damaging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:35 AM Flag
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I think people misread your post and thought your dd was the aggressor. I am really sorry. It is so hard. We had some similar issues and it’s tough. Is she in public or private? Either way, yes if there is targeted bullying the school needs to deal with it properly. I’m so sorry because I know how painful it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:39 AM Flag
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You can't control her classmate's behavior nor the school's responses. Are there ways to develop your dd's self-confidence and nurture friendships with other kids, perhaps by getting involved in after school activities (not at school)? A psychologist friend mentioned to me that kids need three different friend groups beginning in middle school, so where are tensions in one group, having strong friendships in the other groups will help balance out the negativity. For instance, perhaps she can be in a group sport on the weekends, or a chorus, or anything really, where she can develop friendships with other kids. Helping her learn how to be indifferent to the mean girls and not to care about their antics will help her find other friends and outlets so that these plastics no longer matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:31 AM Flag
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Is it me, or is everyone reading the OP wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:33 AM Flag
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me too i thought the OP's child was the mean girls, but now i see subsequent posts that she is the target. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:52 PM Flag
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Thank you. She does do extra curriculars both at school and outside of school. And yes, the more healthy outlets not focusing on this the better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:43 AM Flag
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My dd went through something similar in 5th grade. Her close friend since K became mean and froze her out. Started by telling dd that she had to pay up to be her friend, had to let her copy homework. We tried talking to the friend's mom since they girls knew each other since K. Friend's mom was nice and tried to intervene, but the daughter was manipulative. We encouraged dd to hang out with her team friends and choir friends; these closer friends helped through this period. Dd was never popular at school, but developed two close friends who were enough of support. Dd was medium chill with the mean girl, who got into Hunter and moved on. Dd heard that Hunter girl was having trouble making friends due to her manipulative ways. Dd never thinks about her anymore now that they're in high school, but ran into her on the bus recently. Dd said that the former mean girl seemed ordinary now, and a little sad. But dd has moved on and has close friends and interests that keep her busy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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This is great advice. The reality is that schools can not make kids be nice. We have to raise our kids to shut down bullying. Help her make friends and stay with positive kids who treat her nicely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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I’m so sorry. I may have misunderstood. Is your daughter the mean girl or is she being bullied [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:34 AM Flag
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Being bullied [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:42 AM Flag
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Sorry! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:11 AM Flag
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To clarify: Who is the mean girl? Your daughter or someone else? If it is your daughter than you ground the fuck out of her until she gets it. Literally no social media, no fun until she learns how to be a civil person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:35 AM Flag
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OR: Saw that it is some other kid. Document. Is the other parent a possible resource? Sorry this is happening. Mean girls are actually super insecure kids that have learned to manipulate social cred in exchange for control. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:38 AM Flag
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Don't go to Mean Girl's Parents--they can't control their kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:41 AM Flag
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OR: I think that sometimes Mean Girl Parents don't have an idea about their kids. Unfortunately it is often learned behavior but if it isn't...start there. Then beat them at their own game. OP: You need to go low and put together a game plan. Sometimes you need to fight fire with fire...How old are these girls? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:46 AM Flag
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Someone else [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:42 AM Flag
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It was clear to me that your daughter was the one targeted. Why would a bully’s mom complain about what her daughter is doing? How many times have you talked to her teachers and principal about it? How old is DD? That’s terrible this is going on and the school isn’t nipping it in the bud. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:48 AM Flag
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At least 3x; they are 11-12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:53 AM Flag
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What did the principal say? Is she in a large school? Public or private? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:58 AM Flag
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Has your DD talked to her teacher directly? Or does she have any friends who can be on her side? I think it’s good for the kid to take control of the matter not that the parents shouldn’t get involved but at that age, it’s sometimes worse if parents get involved. And these things take awhile to pan out. I’m sorry you and your DD is dealing with this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:03 AM Flag
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NP It was also clear to me. Some schools handle this very, very badly. You may need to change schools. I worked in a school where it was handled well. But you can't make the school do this well. I'm sorry. Is this 6th grade? Is it a 6-8 school or a K-8 or K-12 school? How long has your dd known these girls? Often the hardest is when the kids have been together for years. I have seen good results with restorative justice but the administrators must be really trained in it and good at it. If the conflict is 1 kid : 1 kid there is a better chance of that working. I don't see it working when it is 3:1 or 2:1 problem. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:19 AM Flag
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Stop using "mean girl". It is so sexist. When boys exhibit the same behavior, we simply call it bullying or aggression, and those terms are good enough for girls, too. There should not be a separate standard for girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:01 AM Flag
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It’s just shorthand for something most of us have experienced. Leave her alone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:21 AM Flag
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No. It is sexism and internalized misogyny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 10:47 AM Flag
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How is "mean girl behavior" shorter than "bullying"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 10:48 AM Flag
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I think that the expectation that the school can control kids and make them nice is a fallacy. Of course, they can give consequences and teach social emotional lessons but some kids (and adults) are not nice and it is important for people to learn how to deal with kids like that. Have your dd nurture her friendships with nice kids and ignore this girl. My son stays away from kids that are mean. My dd is the opposite. She defends herself and calls people out on their bad behavior. Either way, help your dd by teaching her to deal with mean kids rather than having her be a victim that needs the school to intervene. Good luck. This is not easy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:27 PM Flag
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Translate: My daughter turns out to be a little b***h and I am disappointed that the school hasn't fixed it. Anyone have experience with that? No, your own daughter's personality and behavior is your responsibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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You misunderstood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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NP: Now here's a classic example of a "mean" girl on-line. Someone who is intentionally insulting towards someone who is responding thoughtfully, sincerely and is providing real value. The best thing to do with someone like this on-line and IRL is to ignore them. These unhappy people feed off any attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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Read Rosalind Wiseman's work and blog. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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You know, there are going to be "mean" girls and boys in every environment...from school to work to social life. As hard as it is to see our kids be miserable, I think the best thing you can do is to start equipping your child with the ability to understand and handle these people. Knowing that these people are insecure or jealous or just having issues in their own lives allows you to respond with greater compassion and to let it roll off your back better. I'm over 60 and I look back at the "mean" people in my school and professional life, and those are people whose lives were not happy ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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I agree. I never go to the school about mean kids. I try to help my kids deal. There are mean people in every environment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Spent last weekend with mom of one of my kids friends. She is fun from a "let's go have a few drinks" prospective but not longer. She can't stop talking about her jealously over other people's wealth and why her parents won't subsidize her lifestyle. It's really draining and also she is a total moocher to the point I just accept that I will pay for 75% of our expenses if we go out. I would love to slow fade her but she just had a major health scare and has already been dumped by pretty much everyone else. Do I just have to suck it up and see her less and less or is being a good friend being there even when there is no benefit to you. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:58 AM Flag
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Your last sentence answered your question [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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Problem with mom friends .. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:39 AM Flag
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What does your conscience tell you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:02 AM Flag
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I'd be straight up. I have said to friends in the past, e.g. your negative obsession with x thing in your life really isn't making you happy, maybe you should see a therapist about it, read some self help books, or try reframing. They might think about it, or not. Then choose if to continue friendship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:40 PM Flag
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if she's actually a friend maybe you talk to her about this first. or at least try a"hey, youve been talking about the same thing for 30 minutes, what about X?" and see where it goes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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Behavior like this rarely improves. So you can be a good friend but it will drain you emotionally. It’s ok to put your needs first. I don’t believe in staying in unhealthy relationships. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:08 PM Flag
[ - ] My kindergartener has begun requesting almost daily visits to the school nurse for some real/mostly amplified ailments. Teachers have lost empathy. I'm not sure how firm teachers should be with a kindergartener who is clearly looking for attention. Long days, traditional school. Any thoughts or suggestions? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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Wrong school. Look for another one. Until then find an occasional mental health escape for you and your child [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Perhaps. How do I know this wouldn't be a problem at any school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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You are the mom. Pay attention. Trust your instinct. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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Is he young for his class? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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No, right in the middle. My instinct tells me the school would be fine if his teachers were a little warmer/fuzzier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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Find another school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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Who transfers schools because kids go to the nurse. This is not unusual. Many frequent fliers at the nurse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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Many parents with school choice find an appropriate setting for their young children. I did. Tried traditional wasn’t a good fit. Went to progressive dc thrived [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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1) could be anxiety 2) give him positive reinforcement for not going to the nurse each day. Not like, after 5 days, you get a treat (that is too long) but daily. Start out with daily reinforcement - an extra story, a hershey kiss, whatever but just daily. Kinders are still little. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:51 AM Flag
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Also there should be a lot of movement in any kindergarten class. If there isn't a lot of movement and he needs it, he is giving himself the break he needs right now. I would ask the teachers what is happening when he need to go to the nurse. He may need another way to take a break in the class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:23 AM Flag
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The above is very good advice. I would look at what the function of the behavior is. Is he trying to avoid a specific time in class? Is it overall anxiety? depending on what you think, I would address the issue. You are enabling him a little by your statement that he goes to the nurse for real and mostly amplified ailments. He goes to the nurse to leave the classroom. Why is he feeling the need to leave is your question. The teachers may not be warm and cuddly but he does need to learn how to cope with these environments. I think the positive reinforcement is a great way to go. What other ways could he be engaged , if you think it is social anxiety? I would meet with the teachers to see their take. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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Some kids have a hard time transitioning from the playground to the classroom. Maybe he could have a job when he gets back if you find it is related to a time in the class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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+1 Kids that age LOVE to have jobs. Dumping the recycling, taking a note to the office. They love jobs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:58 PM Flag
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Is the nurse warm and fuzzy? Maybe he likes her better than his teachers. His teachers may be good academically, but some kids need more affection. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:47 AM Flag
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Yes--Nurse is warmer. Teachers are friendly but not particularly cuddly. Next year's options seem even less so. He is ultra-sensitive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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You need to parent. Kids need to be taught that teachers are not there for warm cuddlies, and that kids need to be able to make it through a school day without hugs and cuddles. Start now, and he might be emotionally ready by first grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:04 AM Flag
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Thank you for your thoughts. I'm an excellent parent and I disagree with your view. I value emotion in children, including boys and believe teachers (especially in youngest grades) teach more than academics. Many schools focus mainly on social/emotional growth in K. I don't think my child needs hugs and cuddles from his teachers but he does need emotional warmth. Kindergarten teachers should be able to provide this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 07:44 AM Flag
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They should be kind and supportive. But they cannot provide the kind of one on one attention your dc seems to be craving. He needs to get the message that unless there’s an emergency he belongs in class, but you’ll be happy to talk with him about his day at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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ITA. By 6, children understand that not all adults are for "warmth". They need to be able to get through a school day without faking sick to see the nurse they like better than the teacher. OP's son doesn't get that yet, so now is the time to explain it and role play! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 10:57 AM Flag
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Op. Sounds like other responders disagree. Not sure where you get the stat about children learning which adults provide warmth and which don’t. But my hope is that all elementary school teachers are warm, especially kindergarten teachers. And for the record he’s 5, not 6. I was hoping for responses to give me ways to talk to my child, talk to his teachers. A child who has not had any previous problems shouldn’t be this anxious in kindergarten. I think role playing is one good idea. Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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Please make an appointment with the teacher and nurse to get their sense of why child is anxious, whatever. Clearly its in response to something. Maybe he has anxiety, maybe something happened who knows. A 5 year old is too young to recognize or articulate. Any you school you go to its a crapshoot - some teachers will click with kid and some won't. My kid spent many hours at nurses office through ES - find out why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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Many kids go to the nurse daily. It is not unusual and a reflection on your parenting. It is a time to teach your kid that he needs to stay in class. I would give him incentives for staying in class. Give him a reward for each day he does not go to the nurse. Maybe the teacher can make him hand in the attendance folder or some other job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone see Marriage Story yet? Want to discuss with someone...it wasn't the perfect film but was a wrenching portrait of divorce. Thought AD was far better actor than SJ. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Just finished and agree! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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I want to see it. How do you feel after watching it? Sad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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Yes sad, especially if divorce is a trigger for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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AD was great. I was strangely annoyed by SJ’s weird hair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Me too. It was distracting. Also as a lawyer, I found the movie a little offensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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AD is an amazing actor. I think the best of his generation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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Who are AD and SJ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 12:25 PM Flag
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Yes, AD was amazing (and better than SJ). Also amazing: the boy who played their son. So natural. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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I really liked it. That scene where Laura Dern drives home the point that mothers have to be perfect like the Virgin Mary - fantastic. Also the scene where AD and SJ were just eviscerating eachother for 10 min was gut-wrenching and yet thrilling to watch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Agreed! Loved both those scenes!!! Wow what a movie, especially as I’m currently living it with dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 05:39 AM Flag
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Should I see with DH if we are contemplating splitting up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:35 AM Flag
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SJ is definitely not a good actor, in this or any other movie, AD is phenomenal [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 04:03 AM Flag
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Saw “I Lost My Body” instead. Bleak. There was nothing redeeming about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 06:06 AM Flag
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It was so good. And I agree, Adam Driver was amazing. There were a few scenes with SJ where I clearly saw her acting and it really took me out of the movie. And I was surprised how many times I laughed out loud. I didn't expect humor in the movie, but it was done so well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 12.08.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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