• Filter the conversation
[ - ] Every day I eat too much. How did you force yourself to start using MyFitnessPal or other calorie counters? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:21 AM Flag
»
join dietbet.com You can put money up to lose xxx amount of weight in a month. If you don't do it you lose your money and if you do it you get a share of whoever else lost [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:23 AM Flag
»
Honestly, I started by doing all prepackaged bars/meals that I could just bar code scan in. Then when you enter your daily calories it tells you how much you would weigh in a month if you kept eating like this and it inspired me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Can we overcome a developmental delay? My dd is 3. Tell me your success stories, please! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:15 AM Flag
»
My niece was Dx as delayed at 3 and is now qualified for regular public school classes at 4.5. Her mom (my DH's sister) is a professional OT though so that helped. I wish I knew details but I didn't want to pry. She basically started talking, responding, etc. a lot more int he past year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:18 AM Flag
»
She isn't talking yet, in preschool right now. I pray every day she gets better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:19 AM Flag
»
And thank you for responding, it gives me hope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:21 AM Flag
»
Therapy will help! Not so sure about prayer... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:21 AM Flag
»
Oh yes, she's been in therapy for over a year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:25 AM Flag
»
OR: Oh wow. My niece did talk, just not respond. Can your DD obey commands, potty trained, etc? Have you taken her for a diagnosis? Do you read books to her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:22 AM Flag
»
^ That is, if I'm remembering correctly, at 3 she could say a few words but not sentences, and if I said "Where is your mom?" she wouldn't even look in her mom's direction. Now she offers to help and can sing all the Frozen songs :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:24 AM Flag
»
What kind of delay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:18 AM Flag
»
Speech [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Rose water, inherent Vice, St Vincent or nightcrawler? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:05 AM Flag
»
I've seen St V and Nightcrawler. Loved both. They are very different and both well done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:09 AM Flag
»
What are these? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:12 AM Flag
»
Name poll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:23 AM Flag
»
St Vincent but was more drama/less comedy than I expected [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Nyc moms: where can I find good office chairs and guitar strings? Must be less than 45 min commute from UWS. Thanks. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:58 AM Flag
»
Not funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:00 AM Flag
»
I don't get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:00 AM Flag
»
She's mocking an earlier Post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
»
Read mp post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:04 AM Flag
»
Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
LOL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:03 AM Flag
»
and how often does one need those? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:12 AM Flag
»
every 2-3 days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:16 AM Flag
»
eye roll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Please give me some ideas to do in manhattan tomorrow. School aged kids. Bored of being stuck in our apt and at a loss for ideas. Have done the standard museums - need a fresh idea. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:56 AM Flag
»
ice skate [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:57 AM Flag
»
Lucky strike [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:57 AM Flag
»
AMNH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
Reading comp much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:03 AM Flag
»
Go up to Inwood hill park and walk in the last virgin forest in Manhattan, great views over the Hudson, you can watch metro north trains come around the bend into Spuyten Duyvil. Honestly my favorite spot because it's so unexpected! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
Mommy poppins always has a great calendar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
Op: all seems geared to preschoolers on MP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:05 AM Flag
»
ice skate at riverbank state park. Bowl at Chelsea Piers. Go shop at Target in the Bronx [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:05 AM Flag
»
Have you done Museum of Math? Fun for older kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:09 AM Flag
[ - ] "It goes fast...love em up...i would have visited you already but my 3 yr old is like a peach tree dish of germs....so i will wait until spring lol" Like · 1 · More · This is why I love facebook! Peach tree dish! 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:43 AM Flag
»
Could have been autocorrect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:44 AM Flag
»
Still funny though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:47 AM Flag
»
No way. How could that possibly happen? You type in petri dish and it gives you peach tree dish? Riiiiiight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:50 AM Flag
»
I don't know but I believe she was counseled out of a tier 2 school in the 90s. Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
NP: I text and post using mostly voice recognition these days so I can do it hands free. Sounds like a plausible voice recognition error, but the ellipses and lack of capitalization rule that out IMO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:05 AM Flag
»
I'm sure it could have been autocorrect. I've gotten weirder stuff. but if you need to feel superior, Madame curie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:17 AM Flag
»
LOL. People are so stupid. Do people not read books anymore? Peach tree dish is something that would come from the same person who writes walla instead of voilà! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:48 AM Flag
»
OMG! I did this until I was 16 years old and came to the USA. I'm so embarrassed about it now. In my defense I grew up in a foreign country (not France/Europe) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:11 AM Flag
»
^ I also pronounced "plaid" the same as "played." Still do if I don't catch myself :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:11 AM Flag
»
I say walla as a joke (it's a family joke and yes, we lived in France when I was a child) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:13 AM Flag
»
funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:54 AM Flag
[ - ] I am a SAHM and can't stop thinking about all my friends' parents who divorced after the kids left for college. Women that hadn't worked in 20 years got half while the husband kept on earning and married a younger woman. It scarred me. I supported my DH and our family when he started his own company. Question: is it crazy to want to hide money just in case things go bad? Our marriage is solid bc of our faith and values, but it's not the happiest. I wish I could go back to work but he travels and works crazy hours, which is why I quit. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:42 AM Flag
»
As my DH says, a guy doesn't leave a woman who licks taint. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:44 AM Flag
»
Literally lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:46 AM Flag
»
What does that mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Area below testicles [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:52 AM Flag
»
What does that mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
NP: I'm guessing it means that men like it, but no one wants to do it, so they'll hang on to a wife who does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:59 AM Flag
»
Where are you going to hide this money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:46 AM Flag
»
Op- no idea! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:48 AM Flag
»
Safe deposit box. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Focus your energy on making it a good marriage for both of you and this will pay better than hiding money in the closet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Not crazy at all. But here's something much more sane: Divorce your finances now. Arrange a settlement that compensates you for all of the sacrifices you have made, and gives you a cushion to begin your own life as a financially and professionally independent person who is not just a slave to his kids and his lifestyle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:52 AM Flag
»
How old are your kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:54 AM Flag
»
aren't your kids in school now? if so, why do his crazy hours and travel keep you from working? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:57 AM Flag
»
Curious about what you mean by a solid marriage, but not happy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:58 AM Flag
»
I have one of those too. For religious or reasons of laziness or love of living with the kids full time, the marriage is solid. No one is surprising anyone with divorce papers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:05 AM Flag
»
Start a separate savings account now, along with your own IRA and any other retirement funds you think you might need. You don't need to hide it - you'llnneed to declare interest on your taxes - but tell your DH that you just want to be sure that you have adequate retirement plans for later. Your marriage will hopefully survive the test of time, and you'll have a good nest egg for your golden years. If not, though, you'll have retirement funds that you can use if needed (you'll have to borrow and pay back), as well as the savings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
This is good advice. Read through a David Bach book at B&N (the Smart Women Finish Rich guy) and make sure you've done all the things on the list. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone done the PS90x3 workout videos? Comments? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:33 AM Flag
»
hard but good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:58 AM Flag
»
Does it get you fit? Do you lose lbs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:06 AM Flag
»
Does it get you fit? Do you lose lbs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:06 AM Flag
»
Cardio? Strength? Push-ups? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:00 AM Flag
[ - ] OP Confession: this open marriage DH. Thank you for your honest feedback. I will remain faithful to my loving wife. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:31 AM Flag
»
Oh TWO DH confessions in a row? Yea fucking right [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:35 AM Flag
»
Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:36 AM Flag
[ - ] OP: CONFESSION on ski trip guy. this is DH, and I wanted to get real feedback on this. You were all very helpful, and although the persona was different than what I portrayed the question was real and sincere. Thank you.Things are looking up. Hotel and air are free and I can cancel them. These are good friends and who knows if ill ever be able to do something like this again ever. I tend to take a long term view that there are peaks and valleys and in the long run things will work out. Note that I put myself through a TT college and grad program -- I'm a do-it-yourselfer and don't feel entitled. I expect to be working again full time by end o March and if not the consulting will likely continue without a stop date. But I think I've been shamed into not going. But I think I'll regret not going more than the money I'll save. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
I would go and I would would network the hell out of that situation. If they are truly successful guys, you will actually be missing out on work opportunities. Work is all about networking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:47 AM Flag
»
I can network with them anyway. I know them all well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:03 AM Flag
»
Have you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
You sound kind of entitled to me. How long have you actually been working? Doesn't your wife need a break more than you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Thanks to UB I am getting the Marie Kondo book. I can no longer deal with my messy desk. I have tried everything. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:17 AM Flag
»
That was spammy and this more so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:21 AM Flag
»
FU, I am not a spammer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:22 AM Flag
»
I don't think that merited an FU (compared to everything else on this site). Re-read your OP and the other objectively, and you'll agree, sounds spammy and you'd call it out if you hadn't written it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:28 AM Flag
»
If you knew about Marie kondo, she's some Japanese lady probably not spamming on here on. Saturday night. I'm getting it from the library. Np who heard about it on the radio [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:37 AM Flag
»
THe book has some good ideas just a warning that some of it is a bit out there and it is very repetitive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:21 AM Flag
»
my desk looks stacked and i have 2 large cardboard boxes filled with "desk items" on the floor. Can't find any papers that i need and it looks like shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:22 AM Flag
»
She doesnt give organizing advice. The main advice is throw out 75% of your stuff, you don't need it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:35 AM Flag
»
Get ready to thank all the things in your life for doing their job, and then toss them out ruthlessly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:44 AM Flag
[ - ] At what age do even clingy kids like dropoff classes? DD has been in preschool for 2 years (nearly 4) but still refuses to do dropoff classes on weekends - genuinely anxious, not manipulative 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:09 AM Flag
»
my daughter is 6 and still hates them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:16 AM Flag
»
My 6 year still wants me there. 4 year old isn't even close. My 6 year has just become comfortable w play dates without me there. 4 is still very young. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:24 AM Flag
»
What is she anxious (separation, other kids)? My DC does not like the act of going to classes but has a lot of fun while there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:26 AM Flag
»
I think truly anxious kids are just anxious and it is different that timid in new situations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:42 AM Flag
»
5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:31 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:35 AM Flag
»
It was like a switch was flipped when my son turned 6. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:46 AM Flag
»
OP: Thanks everyone! I can wait. Just as long as your answers were closer to 5-7yo than 15-17yo :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:19 AM Flag
»
Mine was completely done with that at 5 in K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:20 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm OP that has a husband who after 8 years of marriage and 12 years together total, decides he wants an open marriage. I thought tomorrow was the dead line, as he is getting ready to go out tonight he reminds me technically tonight at midnight it will be the end of February. I'm fairly certain he is going out with her and they are going to sleep together. He told me tonight was just a business dinner and I could stay home with dcs. Glad asshole, that is why I have an apartment I'm moving into on the 1st of April. I'm also planning on handing him divorce papers by the end of March. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm pretending to think on it because he makes snide comments about divorce. He said this week if you do divorce me I won't move out and if you move I will sell this apartment and everything in it, but don't worry I would give you half the check haha. I actually recorded him secretly last week saying how he really wants me to remain his wife and he doesn't want to lose me so he would keep the divorcing go on to the point I would give up in exhaustion. This woman, she is incredible. I don't know how at 50 years old she can have this kind of power over a grown, once respectful man. I swear half the things he says about all this he has heard from her. I feel like she knows exactly what she is doing, she knew suggesting this to me I wouldn't have it and she would be there for my dh while his wife leaves him. She has a strategy here, I hope she realizing she is ruining 2 completely innocent souls, my babies, they are 4 and 1. It's such a shame that this could happen to a man like him. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
I am really, really sorry. I hope he gets AIDS and his cock shrivels up and falls off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:03 AM Flag
»
It sounds like you are (understandably) putting a lot of this on the other woman. It is not about her. Your husband sounds like he is a shitty human being with zero integrity/loyalty. She is just the "tipping point," not the cause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:05 AM Flag
»
It's natural (healthy?) for her to be most angry at OW. Whatever helps her stay strong through this time is fine by me. OP, we care and we wish you and your poor babies the best in the world. Someday you will wake up and this will all be a long ago memory. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:07 AM Flag
»
Yes yes this this. So sorry. He's an asshole. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
It's a maladaptive response, not a healthy one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
+1. OP, you married a terrible man, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:04 AM Flag
»
Why are you moving out? You should be getting a lawyer. He can't sell the apartment w/o you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:07 AM Flag
»
Does anyone know a real righteous avenging angel of a lawyer we can recommend to OP?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:08 AM Flag
»
Come on someone has to!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
OP: I would love that suggestion. The one I am with does not seem to take this seriously. Someday I hope I can look back at all this and laugh but I cannot now. Sometimes when I tell my attorney things my dh does or says, he will crack up. It must seem so crazy to him that it's funny or something. Plus he isn't one for avenging, when I mentioned PI he said we do not need to sink that low since I'm aware what my dh is up to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:32 AM Flag
»
Yeah you need a barracuda -- at least someone who won't laugh at you ffs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:36 AM Flag
»
Yeah I hope you can trade up. Let's try tomorrow morning's crowd and see if we can find someone better for you or at LEAST more professional and respectful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
Sounds like you're way past reconciling, lol. I give you credit for really standing up for yourself. It sounds like you have the financial means to do it. FWIW, couples that start the way they did usually don't make it. Right now they only share 10% of their lives and none of the hard stuff. Once they have the other 90% it's a whole new ball game. He is going to cave when you show him a signed lease and real live divorce papers. That's far from a bluff. The question then is, what will you do when he says he chooses you (and your DC and 1/2 your shared money he'd have to give you) over her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:09 AM Flag
»
Sigh, this sounds like good advice. OP, make sure you have a contingency plan set up for when he comes crawling back :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:10 AM Flag
»
OP: I can't stay in this house it just holds so many memories, mostly good but most recently it just holds me prisoner. I'm going to move whatever stuff I want out and take all the important things, like baby books, ect before I hand him divorce papers, both events will likely happen the same day. I'm sure he is not going to do me dirty with our property and money anyway but just in case he makes good on his threats I will be prepared. Some days it's the OW's fault, mostly today's blame is only because I know they're together right now and I know they are going to have sex, and I know he will be right back here with me pretending all is well tonight. The blame fluctuates daily in my mind between him, myself, her, society, and whatever else I feel is justified for this happening. Honestly though, at the end of the day I know the blame is all on him. Even if he says he will give her and this whole idea up to stay with me I would need some terms met first. He has broken my heart and my mind, this whole experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and for him to come crawling back here in a month or even a year I couldn't do it right away. We would have to start over, living separate, going on dates. He would have to win me back. I'm not even sure that would work because what kind of sick fuck would put their partner through all this then say oh okay I've had my fun and I've broken yyou in every way possible but everything is fine now and we can stay together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:28 AM Flag
»
I'm a DH who has had an OW, and I really admire your strength. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:01 AM Flag
»
I'm so sorry OP. He's disgusting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:23 AM Flag
»
Just to piss him off, tell him that since it's a leap year, tomorrow night at midnight is technically the end of February and he broke your agreement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:23 AM Flag
»
It's not a leap year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:23 AM Flag
»
Tell him anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:29 AM Flag
»
NP: Nah. Move on. Any energy used is energy wasted on him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:36 AM Flag
»
Quit blaming her. It's him, love. He is 100% at fault here. I have been in a similar scenario without the kids. My heart breaks for your children. I divorced my 1st husband while I was still very much in love with him. I married again and had two dc that I thought I would never have. Be glad you have time to find someone of true character and two beautiful children who you wouldn't have if you hadn't married this man of low character. Grieve and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
Oof. this sounds awful. Have you consulted a lawyer? I would check that you wouldn't be held for abandonment by moving out first. It may no longer apply, but it used to be a thing. What a scumbag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:27 AM Flag
»
PS- it's not open when only one person is ok w it. Just because he is being honest doesn't mean he's not cheating. Tell him that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:48 AM Flag
»
Open marriage , right? Bring a bunch of hot guys over when he gets back tomorrow. Have a party. Rub that into his face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:39 AM Flag
»
why are you and dh all of a sudden the poor victims of this evil shrew of a 50 year old?? Own that your marriage has problems, and the most egregious of those is that you are married to a selfish Asshole, with a capital A. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:04 AM Flag
»
What do you know about her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:07 AM Flag
»
I do own this or I try to because I do not understand how I contributed to this, we had a very active sex life all things considered, 3 or more times a week after 10 plus years and 2 dcs, madly in love, financial success. We had real fights over his spending habits and parenting and even those rarely happened. He says I've done nothing wrong and that's why he wants to stay married. He says his beliefs changed. I'm sure she has encouraged those changes. I've seen her once or twice at business affairs, never thought much of her in any sense. Then a couple months ago he tells me they worked a case together, have a lot in common, including being happily married, and he enjoys her company at work. That was fine, she is 50 and my dh has always been faithful and it was one of his most important values. Then a couple weeks ago he seduces me, informs me he has been having an emotional affair with her and they plan on getting physical by the end of the month but respected me enough to tell me before they had sex, she's been married 17 years and has an amazing open marriage and dh wants that for us and he is doing it with or without me but he would rather it be with me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone had 6 yo birthday party at Eloise at the Plaza? How was the experience? Thinking about hosting our 6 yo dd's birthday there. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:53 AM Flag
»
We attended one a few yrs ago, my DD liked it but can't remember specifics [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone live in Park West Village on the UWS? How is it? Feedback pls 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:40 AM Flag
»
Friend does and I live nearby. It's not great but fine. Horrible school district. Do you have specific questions? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:24 AM Flag
[ - ] I posted earlier, and have realized what's really eating at me. Is my DH irresponsible? -- DH has been out of work over a year. We have 2 DC, I am a WOHM but he is the bread winner. He recently started doing consulting work, and is very close to landing a good job -- he even has to turn down another offer because the pay is less than the consulting. A college friend invited 8 friends to his condo at a ski resort. He has a plane ticket using miles. He wants to go for 4 nights, 4 days and feels it's ok. I think he's irresponsible given that he went over a year without working and doesn't have a full time job yet. And we've been paying bills out of the IRA. Is he irresponsible? Should I let him go? He says it's a "once in forever" kind of trip. I think that he's going to spend money we don't have (ie. Feom the IRA) on dinners and lift tickets. What would you do and say? Earlier post is here but less relevant now: http://www.urbanbaby.com/topics/55392548 43 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:35 AM Flag
»
FWIW, I think this is OK for him to do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:36 AM Flag
»
OP: Even though he's digging into savings? Can you let me know why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:37 AM Flag
»
It sounds like you have been okay with this for a year. What changed? Also, although you claim he has not worked in a year, he is consulting and apparently doing well. Why would you "punish" him for finally getting back on his feet again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:41 AM Flag
»
OR: Because: it really is a once in a lifetime thing, his lodging and transportation are already paid for, consulting is highly variable depending on your mood and energy level and having a great week long vacation might help him earn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:42 AM Flag
»
OR: I saw he's only being working for a week. Wait a sec. Did he even make enough that week to cover his costs? I'm getting cold feet about this! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:54 AM Flag
»
He's flying using miles and staying in a friend's condo. What is the issue? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:39 AM Flag
»
OP: I think he'll spend at least $1,000 on lift tickets, fancy dinners, gift for the host, etc. and we're "middle class" New Yorkers, not "rich" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:49 AM Flag
»
Can't he use his consulting money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:41 AM Flag
»
OP: yes, but he won't get paid for the 2 days he's gone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
You work and he's consulting. Why are you dipping into the IRA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:42 AM Flag
»
We'll probably stop dipping in soon. This was his first week of consulting. And I don't make much. I barely cover the taxes and monthly fees on the condo. The consulting is not big money, but similar to what he made in his last job. But he's not paid for days he doesn't work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:47 AM Flag
»
Wait!! He's only been working for a week and now wants to take a ski week? NO! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
How can you not have made adjustments if this has been going on for a year?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:55 AM Flag
»
I think you're angry at him about the long period (nearly a year?!) between his being out of work and his starting the consulting. At least, I would be angry. And I do have a pattern where, once things seem like they SHOULD be getting better, at least directionally, I get even more angry that we're not out of the woods yet. Esp if DH thinks we ARE out of the woods. Does that make sense? Unfortunately I'm no expert on dealing with anger but some posters on here are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:45 AM Flag
»
She said he's only been working for 1 week! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:51 AM Flag
»
OMG! That info didn't come up till after I wrote my comment! I swear! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:04 AM Flag
»
He has been working and everyone desires fun every now and then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:48 AM Flag
»
Men who are not filling their biological designed role as breadwinner are not allowed to have fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:50 AM Flag
»
I hope this is snark. Marriage is about supporting each other in ups and downs. And sometimes its about biting your tongue when your spouse does things that you find questionable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
OP: is that sarcastic? Or do you mean it? Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
OP: but he has only been working a week. The people he's working for have no problem with him missing days because they're expecting him to be less than full time because he presumably has other clients, so "missing work" isn't an issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
So he can take some time off without it affecting work. Great. Let him go have fun and he will come back with a renewed spirit. Or you can be bitter wife and say no and see where that gets you in your marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:54 AM Flag
»
DH here. I can understand him wanting to do this and he has minimized the cash outlay but when you're out of work for a year, I think this is something you just have to pass on. All unnecessary costs need to be avoided. It sounds like it's too late to reverse this and in your previous post you were more concerned about him being away two weekends in a row than about money so you've lost your chance to raise this issue in my mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:52 AM Flag
»
OP: all along I've told him it's irresponsible. Those exact words. He doesn't like being told what to do when it comes to things like this. My parents have at times discouraged us from visiting in FL because they worry about our money. Nothing kills him more than others dictating his adult decisions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:56 AM Flag
»
OP: I think he also hates the idea of not being able to go to the friend's second home at a ski resort because he doesn't have enough money. Ie. They're successful. He isn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:58 AM Flag
»
Tough call. On one hand, he shouldn't spend the money. On the other hand, it's important to keep up morale. It's too late to stop this now, since he already has his plane ticket. Tell him to keep the spending to a minimum. If he capped the spending at $500 could you deal with that? He needs to make some sacrifices. Maybe he doesn't ski every day or insists that they go for inexpensive dinners. If he can stick to $500, I'd reluctantly agree. If he's the type who is going to spend whatever he's going to spend, I'd give him a piece of my mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 02:59 AM Flag
»
OP: he'll be with 8 other highly successful people. They'll have at least one steak dinner. He can't tell them to not have fun. He will only ski 2 days anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:00 AM Flag
»
OR: OK. I totally get where you are coming from. No, he can't go. He is not going to stop at $1,000 if he's with highly successful people. They'll be sitting around ordering expensive bottles of wine and drinks and cigars and spending money like there's no tomorrow. Your DH is going to feel like a total loser if he can't keep up with their spending. I'm kind of surprised that he'd want to go, given that he's not really working. Usually, people go into hiding when they are unemployed/underemployed. Once they get suitable employment, they come out into the world again. Tell him you're concerned that he might not feel good about himself if he surrounds himself with people like this when he's got financial problems at home. Would that angle work? Again, no. He's not going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:08 AM Flag
»
He can always use the ticket later. And he used miles to buy it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:01 AM Flag
»
^^OP: [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:02 AM Flag
»
OK... the best thing I can say about this guy is that he's better than Open Marriage Mom's DH. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:05 AM Flag
»
Yes he is irresponsible. He is trying to save face with his friends. And yes, the trip is going to cost a ton of money despite the free accomodations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:22 AM Flag
»
OP and DH (see confession): I'm not trying to save face. If anything I'd just crawl under a rock to save face. It's a one time thing I'll regret missing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:31 AM Flag
»
Pay back all of the money that was taken out of the IRA and then you can reward yourself with a trip. Maybe that's why I have money. I don't spend it and then figure out how to earn it. I earn it and then if I have it I spend it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:33 AM Flag
»
No guy wants to call his friend and say my wife won't let me go because I am out of work and we are too poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:49 AM Flag
»
OP: CONFESSION - this is DH, and I wanted to get real feedback on this. You were all very helpful, and although the persona was different than what I portrayed the question was real and sincere. Thank you.Things are looking up. Hotel and air are free and I can cancel them. These are good friends and who knows if ill ever be able to do something like this again ever. I tend to take a long term view that there are peaks and valleys and in the long run things will work out. Note that I put myself through a TT college and grad program -- I'm a do-it-yourselfer and don't feel entitled. I expect to be working again full time by end o March and if not the consulting will likely continue without a stop date. But I think I've been shamed into not going. But I think I'll regret not going more than the money I'll save. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:23 AM Flag
»
why isn't your wife invited on this great trip? is it just a guys' trip? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:02 AM Flag
»
I'm still trying to decide whether I believe you or not, but, didn't you say your friend owns this second house and your college friends get together every 2 years? So just go next time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 04:13 AM Flag
»
Oh, let him go. Do you really want him to start earning money AND be resentful? He probably feels like crap that he's been out of work this long and is starting to come out of it. What difference will this trip make. So you can stay in your home an extra 5 days if you get evicted? Don't nickel and dime him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:25 AM Flag
»
Insanity. I am the one who wrote to you earlier today to say that life is TOO SHORT for you to stop someone you LOVE from having a couple of frickin days with his friends-- who you mentioned do not get together often. He saw his dad-- and was not home. SO WHAT if he spends a few dollars, it is NOT "big money" and he will earn more. So will you. You are too darn jealous of his having an ounce of happiness because you are bitter, bitter, bitter about his unemplyment. Let him out of the damn doghouse and let this go. Focus on ensuring that you will be a partnership again when he gets BACK. Put on that smile and wish him fun and MEAN IT. Try---for your kids sake at least as well as your own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:27 AM Flag
»
I bet you have financial problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:29 AM Flag
»
Are you a DW or DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:29 AM Flag
»
He will resent you if you keep him from going. Further, looking for work is incredibly stressful. It's not like he's sitting on his ass not working. He has some work and continues to look for more stable work. I would tell him to go and have a great time. And finally, you never know what connection he might make that could land him more work. One of these guys probably has some connection for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.01.15, 03:32 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions