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[ - ] No more Suri at Avenues! Katie Holmes just moved back to LA (Calabasas, actually). Just closed on the house. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:57 AM Flag
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She seems more like a suburban mom than a downtown Manhattan mom. Good for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 05:01 AM Flag
[ - ] What do u think when you see couples who have been together for 7/12/15/25 years and own a home together, have no kids, but are not actually married? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:41 AM Flag
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More power to them! I wouldn't never have married if I didn't have children. (The only reason that scares me though is in the case of my SO's illness or death. Whether I would get the "say-so" about their treatment or what happens with them after life.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:58 AM Flag
[ - ] what does one do with a PhD in math/applied math? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:39 AM Flag
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Want to be poor? Teach. Want to be rich? Actuary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Okay, help me decide what to do. Been married almost 40 years. Husband and I screwed like bunnies until the night I moved in with him. (I was VERY young and not consciously, but now realize I needed out of my house because father was semi-abusive and mom was mostly absent.) Had first child early. (20) Lived on an island. Had no car, no phone, not even a TV. Just a crummy radio. Caught husband sneaking out to strip clubs, propositioning my girl friends, etc. Couldn't do much about it except have fits.I didn't even have a HS diploma, no car and on a deserted island (it was winter.) Okay, he seemed to get pretty straight. Had a few more incidents through the years but not bad. He rarely had sex with me and when we did I used BC (although I couldn't use pill due to clotting factors, no IUDs, because you couldn't get them in the US then, and a diaphragm was out because my uterus was so retroverted. (Also had endometriosis and fibroids so I was all jacked up.) Anyway, despite BC, we had a second child 20 years after first, and another 7 years after second (I was 40.) Always wondered why he was working all. the. time. People (Male family members mostly) thought I was being shrewish about it so I shut up. Fast forward, and he has his own business. ALWAYS gone. Bought a beach cabin for kids and I for the week. (I'll make long story short since you all see this coming.) So fo course i realize he has cheated the entire marriage. 32-/+years when I DUH, get it. Fell smooth apart. Had to go to shrink, kept falling apart. Wound up with neuro and realized I also had MS and a critically low level of B-12. (It's awful!). I was delirious and an admitted mess. I had several surgeries that had bad side effects. My 2 BFF's died, my BROTHER died in an accident, my daughter was hospitalized for an ED (surprise!), and we had two major hurricanes. Husband totally quit sleeping with me in 2004. We "get along". It's not like we're screaming all the time. We still have a minor at home and a young adult daughter who has a LD so she has a tough time. Hubby is 63. We started Ch. 13 BK 4 years ago (have another year to go). The house will be paid off in about 3 years. I am pretty disabled, but haven't worked enough quarters to get DB (though it's paltry anyway.) Husband said something yesterday that blindsided me. I said something flip about him having a girlfriend in the past (we don't usually talk about it anymore.) He kind of flipped out and told me, "Not this shit again. That's your problem, not mine." I never did anything bad to you." I was aghast! He admitted it. My girlfriends have told me. I've seen him. I've had anon calls from men telling me to keep him away from their wives. He was caught in a strip club by the police (apparently he hit the side of a truck and knocked the mirror off and they found him, and just a JILLION things. That's some crazymaking shit! Stay? Go? How would I go? I'm so lonesome. (I'm 56, BTW.) HELP! 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:24 AM Flag
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I know this is terribly long, but I'm really reeling here. He knows he fucked up (and he was also drinking) and he's trying to "make up", but him trying to duck all responsibility and "gaslight" me at this point is just more than I can process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:18 AM Flag
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Calm down. Get yourself together and go listen to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:30 AM Flag
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Oh he won't talk. That's how this all started. He is *completely* shut down. Has never been emotionally intimate. Not with me, not with the kids, doesn't have any friends. It's like something I heard about Robin Williams. If there were 2 or more people around, there is an audience and they can "small talk". Get him alone, and he's a guy with you on an elevator. You will NOT pierce that armor. It's just gotten worse as he's gotten older. I think that's the strip club habit. He needed sexual stimulation, but there was no emotional intimacy required. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:35 AM Flag
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Oh. I thought you said he was trying to make up. Nevermind. Sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:25 AM Flag
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He is, but that means he's just kind of walking softly, and he went and bought cherries today (which is MY food, lol) and he brought a bottled Frappucino which is a horrible habit I'm trying to stop,and I'm the only one in the house who drinks that, but "making up" will NEVER include anything verbal with him. The shield is down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:30 AM Flag
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This is heartbreaking. I'm the OP of the post below debating whether to divorce. It's like a glimpse into my future... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:33 AM Flag
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Let me run check yours out.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:39 AM Flag
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OP: OUCH! Let me say I'm a very liberal person, but there is one place where I guess I'm conservative, and it's that I think we should do everything we can for our children to have an intact family. I'm not a Dr. Phil fan in general, but he said something I agreed with, and tried myself, and that is to do EVERYTHING you can to try and save the family so that when or if the day comes your child comes to you about not being married to their father, you can without hesitation and guilt answer you did *everything* to try to keep everyone functional and healthy. That said, I'm scared of your husband and I can't imagine getting to my age with that nonsense. I would do as much counseling as you can get in, and if that doesn't drastically change things, please use my experience as something to think about. I'm so sorry you're in this situation and your kids too. Just sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:59 AM Flag
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OP here again. This started because I told him he has GOT to let the kids know he loves them. I KNOW he does. He can't tell them that (after they are babies). He can touch them. I have to tell them he REALLY, REALLY loves them. They know, but everyone needs some softness from Dad sometime. I was telling him he needed to figure out why he can't do that and think about it. TRY and do it. Fake it 'til you make it. He said, "You just can't make me into something I'm not." I told him that he was satisfied with not trying then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:38 AM Flag
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Whoa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:33 AM Flag
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OP: I meant, he CAN'T really touch them. Like hugs and stuff. After they get to be about 6, that's it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:38 AM Flag
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Oh honey, this is awful. Almost your whole life was wasted away with this jackass. You go. You go and find yourself and happiness and freedom. It sounds like he is doing well enough financially that you could get spousal and child support. I'm also pretty sure you can claim his social security for your disabilities, unless you get married again. Plan b: you stay and still find yourself and happiness. Start doing things for yourself, exercise, reading, ect. Maybe even have an affair yourself. Stick it out until that dirt bag passes away and then his retirement, social security, house, ect are all yours. Both "plans" require you to be strong and love yourself and life again. Don't waste one more day being sad or mad about him and do what you have to do to survive and be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:28 AM Flag
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IM? This is beautiful np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:30 AM Flag
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You know, I can remember when I was young and people would say, "I gave him my best years!" and I never quite got that. I sure get it now. I will say this too. I really was a great wife. I LOVED sex, always told him how much I appreciated him, etc. I had to realize this was him and not me, because he started it before he even could have known me long enough for me to be "bad". (I just didn't know it.) I am no beauty. I am what they call "attractive", (although I was always told I had a PERFECT body) which I think means, "Meh. You're okay, lol, but if you want to feel ugly, have a man flinch when you touch him, then see some really bad looking woman at the mall with 5 kids and think, "Wow. Someone's sleeping with her, and no one in my house wants me." That will mess with your head pretty good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:46 AM Flag
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OP again, but the thing is, HOW to I leave. Like I said, we're in the middle of bankruptcy. (Home builder. 2006 and on has not been kind to us.) There IS no money. I can't work. I live in TX. Minimal, if any spousal support and 2 years on one kid. The end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:37 AM Flag
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OP again. I calmed down and read your answer more mindfully. I have been doing the second plan (sans affair) and have been doing okay. I go everywhere I can, and it's always alone. What shook me up so bad all of a sudden (because this has kind of been "put to bed" for 5 years or more, but when he said this is my problem, and if I recall, he said I made it up, and he hasn't done anything. It was I fell down the rabbit hole. The reason I fell apart SOOOO bad when this first came to pass is that in every other area of his life, he is honest to a fault. He treats his employees like princes. He does a lot of the housework here (But a lot of that is because I don't do it "right"), but he's very generous, and I thought he had more integrity than anyone I know. He does in one life, but not the other. I thought I knew him more than I know myself so it made me question everything. One example, every time I've been in the hospital, including childbirth, he says he has to leave because he can't bear to see me in the hospital. Truth: Wife is a place where I know she is and the strip club is OPEN. He fucked up my kid's births! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:55 AM Flag
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He sounds like an evil shit. Ditch the loser, focus on yourself and your happiness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:48 AM Flag
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I would, but I don't know how to practically. Financially, specifically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:39 AM Flag
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Has anyone ever told you that you're long-winded? I couldn't read through all of that. Garcinia cambogia, raspberry ketones and all of that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:50 AM Flag
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I know. I'm sorry. It's just not easy to explain 40 years of behavior in 4-5 sentences. I apologize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 05:07 AM Flag
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TL:DR: Long marriage, learned it was AWFUL very late in marriage. I'm disabled, not much money to speak of. Is there any way to leave, or just co-exist? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 05:12 AM Flag
[ - ] https://myspace.com/williamruizes 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:13 AM Flag
[ - ] what age do you think it is ok to let your kid sleepover at a friend's house? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:13 AM Flag
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When they are ready? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:02 AM Flag
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Depends on how comfortable you feel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:18 AM Flag
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Depends on how comfortable you feel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:18 AM Flag
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Depends on the kid and the family and the other kid. I had so many bad experiences as a kid on sleepovers, I was not permissive at all about them. I encouraged them at my house instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:16 AM Flag
[ - ] I hate the way I sound and speak( most people seem to when they hear themselves but this is to a level I think where people get a certain impression of me when I open my mouth). I don't have any regional accent but I slur my words. How do I change my way of talking? Diction, flow, inflection, rhythm, etc so I sound like a sharp speaker (think news broadcaster)? Help! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:08 AM Flag
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Speech therapy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:00 AM Flag
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Op: took that but hasn't helped much. I don't have a lisp or speech problems...just hate the way sound (voice) and what I say. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:09 AM Flag
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How long did you go? I have a niece that's a ST and she works miracles, though admittedly she works with infants and small children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:19 AM Flag
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I just googled "speech coach" and came across quite a few links. There are places like NYU SCPS that have group classes, but it's probably effective to find someone to work with you one on one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:38 AM Flag
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Voice coach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you respect your dc's preschool teacher(s)? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:02 AM Flag
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Nice enough, but dumb as a fence post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:08 AM Flag
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yikes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:35 AM Flag
[ - ] at what age can you put kids in bunk beds? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 03:47 AM Flag
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I think 5 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.23.14, 04:00 AM Flag
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