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[ - ] Dh came home with a tattoo. An fing TATTOO? I am mortified. Midlife crisis? Ugh. What do I do? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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Not a heck of a lot you can do now. Where is it and what is it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Calf area. Not visible clothes, thank goodness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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Oh, no. The calf area is the worst. He should have at least manned up and gotten one on his bicep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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Get a matching one? He's an adult. Find out what's really eating at him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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I get that he's an adult. If he wanted a tattoo then fine, but at least acknowledge me first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Why would something be eating at him? He's probably wanted it forever. Good for him! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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And never mentioned it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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Where? Of what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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It's a line tattoo. Two lines, one thicker than the other both making a ring around his calf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Could be worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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Defintely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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not too awful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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I agree. It's more the shock of it all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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Is it to signify the ball and chain? Like a cuff? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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Admire it and support him. You'll shock the crap out of him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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I didn't say it was bad or anything, but IMoët him know I was pissed he didn't tell me or bring me with himl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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Let-* [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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Is he fit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:45 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone chose TAG over LL? why? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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no way! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Jessa Duggar Seewald is pregnant! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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The unmarried one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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That would be awesome! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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No the most recent wedding [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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I hope so. Most awkward infertile period ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Fav chick lit? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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albanian women favorite book is "the serb husband." is about woman who marries serb. all day he is drunk. he is not work. one day a handsome albanian man is fall in love with woman. she kick serb out, is happy ending. woman's name... is kosovo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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Anything by Lianne Moriaty [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone heard whether or not Erin Andrews will be fired? Someone on here last night said she and her lover enjoy putting cocaine in their butts and then eating a big meal and inhaling each others farts to get high. DD likes sports and I don't want her exposed to this woman. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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I don't think she'll be hanging around your DD's sports practices, so I wouldn't worry too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Maybe not but if this behavior goes unpunished our dc's will be trying it. I don't want that, none of us want that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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What behavior of her needs to be punished? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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taking drugs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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She was arrested for drugs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Her boyfriend was [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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So you're all for her employer punishing her for someone else's behavior. Got it. Her lawyer will have a field day with that one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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I agree, OP. Erin Andrews is a magnet for controversy, it seems like it would be easier to just let her go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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This is the ninth or tenth time Erin Andrews will be making headlines for something stupid and sordid. How much is enough? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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Because of something that her boyfriend did? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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birds of a feather [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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np. No, I think they really do those things, i heard it on Anderson Cooper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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I read it in the WSJ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Avenues tuition for 2015-2016 year is consistent with tuition charged by other independent “all-through” schools in New York City (those offering nursery to grade 12 or kindergarten through 12th grade). For the 2015–2016 school year, Avenues’ tuition is $45,350. Tuition includes the full cost of books and materials; all field trips; and transportation to and from activities during the school day. Mandatory fees for 2015-2016 are $2,300. Fees cover lunch, snacks, athletic uniforms and annual investments in educational technology such as computers and tablets. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Which campus? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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And Success Academy raised over $9 million in one night last night! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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But nobody goes to Harvard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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And orange uniforms are the worst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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I think it is the same PR person who posts all the raves about SA and Avenues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Why do they need to raise money if tuition is $45K? Those parents are suckers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Southerner Here: Not all "flyover" people are the same. My daughter LOVED the American Museum of Natural History and we're going to enjoy exploring the museums when we finally move:) 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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you're moving to ny? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Yes, when the school year ends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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I also grew up in the south (not deep south, but Maryland/VA, and I agree. I wouldn't worry about UB - a lot of the posts here are by a few people who live very insulated lives and don't have a lot going on upstairs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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Of course. No one with a brain thinks everyone is the same in any city/area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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You will LOVE living in NYC. I'm (originally) a Virginian, & DH a Kentuckian. We've been in the city for 10 years & can't imagine living anywhere else now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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10 whole years! Wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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OR. It's been a blink. Our DC are Native NYers. It's the greatest place in the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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Thank you! We're from NC and I'm really looking forward to it. We have been to NYC a few times, and I'm really looking forward to seeing everything the city has to offer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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You mean you didn't goto AMNH looking for the "Please Touch" museum? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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But AMNH is the most flyover of all the museums in NYC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o Men in finance being made redundant at 40 and then being unemployable the rest of their lives. Is this really a thing? What happens to these guys? 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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I'm not in that demographic, but I imagine that many go on to build their own businesses, or if they've made enough money, take on investments. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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doesn't it imply they were somewhat useless to begin with if they can't get another job at 40 though? what's the barrier to finding other work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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Depends on what they want to do. Maybe they have burned out of finance. Not everyone works at the same thing for their entire careers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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np A LOT of people burn out on finance. Too much stress, hours are long. It's hard for a lot of people to accept that they'll never earn again what they were earning at 30. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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it's certainly not the trajectory people were taught to expect. not what happened to their parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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MIL should be thanking her lucky stars size 10 fiance is marrying her son as his career potential is peaking. apparently he'd be getting a size 20 in a few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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This happened to my BIL. My DH brought him in to be his office manager. He had a great background and good skills, it's worked out really well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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I don't think they're unemployable, they just don't get jobs paying the kind of income they were earning on Wall St. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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No, they're unemployable. I know a bunch of these guys. They're 45 years old and get laid off and they go around trying to get hired based on 20 years of experience playing the spread on gold futures or bullying other companies into taking out bonds at 3.4% instead of 3.3% and nobody can figure out what to do with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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someone should figure it out start a business-- Career Transition from Finance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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They're not unemployable, they would just rather not work than work for much less money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Then why do they all call me up begging me to get them jobs as admin assistants paying $45k a year? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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How many former finance people have actually called you up and asked to be an admin? Serious question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Yes, I'm curious too. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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Five? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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in what field? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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BS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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+1 IB wife here. I know about 5 who have landed in IB boutiques. A couple who even created their own boutique. Admin assistant? Maybe in some state far out west? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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and yet people are still playing the spread on gold and bullying people over bond rates--why do they force the old guys out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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No, computers are playing the spreads. Sure, if you're a 45 year old guy who ALSO has a Ph.D in Applied Mathematics, you'll get a job. But I know a guy who spent 20 years trading commodities who got laid off and then got laughed out of the building when he tried to use a connection to get a job at a commodity fund, since he had zero - zero - ability to do the math they required. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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I'm not a finance person--so, traders have been replaced by computers then? unless they are great at math. Are there other parts of finance where this has happened? So Liar's Poker would never happen today? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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This. Finance today is more about math/computers than whatever it was 20 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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OR Think of it like a pyramid - you need lots of young people at the bottom but most will be forced out before they reach the top so the pie doesn't get divided among too many people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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got it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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OR My dh was one of those guys, although he quit before turning 40. None of his former colleagues are unemployed, except one who's desperately trying to get back in. People buy businesses, they go back to school and then take lower-stress jobs like teaching, they become consultants or go work for companies they used to deal with. If you think you're going to make Wall St money in another field, you will stay unemployed. If you're smart and you saved your pennies and you aren't an asshole, you'll be ok - this often means leaving NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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They "become teachers or consultants." Are you guys for real???? No one is hiring a 40 year old ex trader to be a teacher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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What? Yes they are. Granted these guys may not get positions in top schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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that makes sense. but presumably, unless they lost all their money in the crash (e.g. worked for Lehman) perhaps it doesn't matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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I heard this happens, too, but, around 50, not sure what happens to them after. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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fake, troll elsewhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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troll yourself. someone said this in a different post, just wondering if there was truth to it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Could you post a link to the original post? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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it's in most popular --the mother talking about her son engaged to a size 10 woman, about a third of the way down http://www.urbanbaby.com/topics/55414760 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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Oh! Okay, thank you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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If they made good money, they can manage their own personal accounts (PAs) to some decent return. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Happened to DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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what's he doing now? Happened to mine, too. Making 1/10th of his former salary in a small shop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Yes this is really a thing. The smart ones saved up enough money and don't need to do much. Others will get CFO-type jobs. Some will start their own funds, and likely lose a lot of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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This is the delusion of people married to finance guys. That their husbands will just "become CFOs" or live off their savings forever. So very few finance guys do that. Most of them wind up selling insurance or trying to open a bar with the last $100,000 they have in the bank. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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IB Wife here. We own 3 properties in Europe that bring us rental income each month. Bought them with both accounts 11 years ago. I manage those properties, pay the taxes, approve new tenants, approve repairs and maintenance. Sorry to burst your bubble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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cap rate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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So you make $8,000 a month, before expenses. Nothing to sneeze at, but that's not really what you need to be bragging about in these parts either. Or now you're going to tell me that you actually rent out each property for $15,000 a month, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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Would you be up for adopting a lovable twenty something? ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Aww. You sound like a sweetie! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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realtors [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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What happens to these guys? They sit on boards of directors. They make money off the money they've saved. The normal age to get pushed out is around 55, if it's not something big like a recession. Talking about IB. Not traders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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what's the deal with traders? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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what about biglaw? longer career life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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depends if you make partner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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depends on what you mean by unemployable. hard to get another finance job of same caliber/pay- often true. people get pushed out by big firms- sometimes move to smaller firms, sometimes trade their own money, sometimes do something else. firms want younger, cheaper talent. and sell side skills often don't translate on buyside either. a lot of power struggles at banks because a lot of $$ at stake and strong personalities. people do each other in a lot and once you are otu, it can be really hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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IB wife. This OR knows what she is talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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Mine made 800k/year for about 4 years before real estate crash in CMBS. Then was out of luck for years and finally got a job in mid 40's for 200k (including bonus.) I am praying that he can keep working for another decade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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He's doing well. Are you saving that money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:45 PM Flag
[ - ] If a seller accepts the other buyer's offer on the house but the agreement is not signed yet, can you step in and offer a higher amount? Would that be too late? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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Yes you can. No it's not too late but obviously requires the seller not to follow convention. Note this may differ by locality- in some places a buyer saying yes to an ask is a deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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It's not too late to make an offer. Nothing is settled until the contract is signed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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Legally, there is no contract until the document is signed and the down payment tendered, so yes. Whether the seller chooses to accept it is another issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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This. What is legal may not be moral & vice versa. Depends on the sellers code of honor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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That is correct. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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NYC? Yes. Nothing is done until the contract is signed. Some other places, thr offer is bound with a $1k or more payment and becomes exclusive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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Definitely. Until it's in contract, anything can happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Pick ONLY ONE - a smart, fat kid or a beautiful kid with a C-minus average. Both stay respectively fat or beautiful for life. "As long as they're happy" answers not allowed. 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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What is the point of this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Smart, fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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+1 No brainer! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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The smart one for sure. They are motivated and dedicated. The c-minus kid either shows poor intelligence or poor motivation. Far prefer the former one's traits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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Smart [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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C-minus at what school? Are they just a smart slacker or what? (For the record, intelligence isn't what it is cracked up to be, but we have to get the facts straight first.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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Just a 70 percent average at a regular public school, barely gets into Iowa State but is stunningly beautiful. Something like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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I'm assuming that you are talking about a girl ("stunningly beautiful"). If so, this just a sad post. As a women, OP, can you see why valuing looks over brains for a girl is sad? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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op: Of course it's sad. The reality, however, if that attractive people are treated more favorably and selected for jobs that overweight candidates are more qualified for. There is no right or wrong answer, obviously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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What's with the Iowa hate on here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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op: I love Iowa. Just picked a state school at random. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:42 PM Flag
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Smart and fat (I would also substitute fat with unattractive in my case). I was (still am) unattractive but I like my brain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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: ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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If boy: smart and fat If girl: beautiful and dumb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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The sexism here by other females is appalling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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You can be against this type of sexism but still be practical enough to realize you being against won't matter a bit and that your dumb beautiful female child will be privy to advantages that your smart and fat female daughter will not. It doesn't mean you believe that it should be that way, it simply means you are a realist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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It's not sexist to want your child to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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I'd still take the fat smart daughter. I would worry too much about the beautiful dumb one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:24 PM Flag
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op: Very good point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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Smart fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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Prettier will marry better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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You are talking about a girl only, right? For a boy, would you want the smart one? Sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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No, the pretty boy will turn out to be gay. Or an actor. Or both. A good looking guy will have more opportunity thrown to him, regardless of how dumb he is. Just making a sociological observation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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beautiful with C minus [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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+ 1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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If it's a girl, beautiful. Sad but true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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Wish this sexism would end-- especially with presumably smart, "urban" women on this site. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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"Presumably" is the key word here. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:22 PM Flag
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beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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smart [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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fake. flagged. collapsed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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op: Seriously? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Ikr. Wtf. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Lol! What??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:43 PM Flag
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Smart & fat: she can lose the weight, but stupidity is forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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So true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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op: Fat for life, per original question. No losing weight, no gaining intelligence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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I see your point, but the thing is that weight can always be corrected, by surgery if not by diet. "Stupidity is forever." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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op: Of course, but that option is not germane to this particular debate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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At the end of thr day, I think most parents really don't care so long as DC is happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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op: Damn it. "Happy" obvious answers excluded. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:31 PM Flag
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Smart and pretty! I win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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Nope. You didn't play by the rules. Forfeit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:44 PM Flag
[ - ] My aunt has been a preschool director for 15+ years and she's concluded that parents who practice an attachment-style of parenting produce happier, smarter, and more well-behaved kids. I don't think she's referring to super crunchy parents because they don't exist in her city. She also said that WOHM/SAHM doesn't make a difference. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:07 PM Flag
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what does attachment style parenting mean in a 3-4yo-- examples? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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Her preschool starts at 18 months, but things like extended breastfeeding (like up to 2 years), cosleeping, baby-wearing. She said it's not necessarily those things that will produce better kids, but that the moms who choose to parent like that are generally more attentive to their child's needs. She is not a fan of letting kids tantrum it out, even at age 4, and encourages her teachers to be very loving when kids are losing it (rather than ignoring them) and she's become like that because of the parents she has observed. She herself admits that she didn't raise her own kids that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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"extended breastfeeding (like up to 2 years), cosleeping, baby-wearing" IS super crunchy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Absolutely agree and I am fairly "crunchy" myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:26 PM Flag
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OR from below. I did all of those things and don't think of myself as super crunchy. For instance I don't care about organic food, think junk food once and a while is okay, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Man, then what is "super crunchy"? Homeschooling/Unschooling? A family poop-wiping towel? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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I did all of those things but didn't realize they fell under the banner of attachment parenting. I let DD do things when she was ready (potty training, big girl bed etc.). So far she is happy, smart, and actually quite independent for her age (she's 6). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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By definition, any "preschool" that starts at 18 months is a daycare, and no parent who sends an 18 month old to daycare is practicing attachment parenting. By definition, all the things you're describing - babywearing, breastfeeding on demand - require the baby to be with the mom 24/7. My friend who practiced attachment parenting did not have a single night out for the first 5 years of her kid's life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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Our pre-school had an open-enrollment 1's program for one hour/wk with parent, and a 2's program for 2.5 hours 2x/week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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OP: It's not a daycare. The toddler class is mostly for the preschoolers' younger siblings. They also have an aftercare component that goes until 6. And I think the attachment parenting you're referring to is the extreme kind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:44 PM Flag
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So basically if I adopt a 3 year old, he or she is not going to be happy / smart / well behaved. Right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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If you adopt a 3 yo you are going to have a scared, confused, angry, hurt, frustrated child. The best thing you can do to help is do attachment-style parenting. Hell, it even works with kids adopted older than that. I imagine it would be very successful with bio kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:37 PM Flag
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Preschool doesn't matter - I'd rather hear from elementary school teachers and middle school teachers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:11 PM Flag
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Same here. Differences start to emerge around 3-4th grades. I'd also like to know how divorce plays into childhood and ultimately adult adjustment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:17 PM Flag
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I think she means children who are "securely attached" rather than attachment parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:12 PM Flag
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No, see my comment above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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This. True attachment parents don't send their kids to preschool. They're together all the damn time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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anecdotal <> data-based evidence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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You know that social research is based on anecdotal phenomenon like this, right? If she were a researcher, she would use her observed experiences of 15 years and then run a study, except that an institutional review board would never allow a clinical study like this involving young children. She's observed a number of classes for 15 years...that's a pretty good sample size. At best, it's a case study. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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sound research. second-hand, anecdotal information from one source. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Look, I'm not asking to people to cite me. But I do think the observations of someone with 15 years of experience is compelling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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I WOH and BF'd for 18 months BUT... she's a preschool director. HOw does she know what happens after the kids turn 4? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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Interesting. I can believe that. Not that it's as simple as "Breastfeed for 2 years, co-sleep, etc and your kids will turn out great" but attachment style parents are the ones who are making conscious choices about their parenting, not just being reactive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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Wait, so non-AP parents, like, have no plan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:39 PM Flag
[ - ] I am relatively new to this board and I am surprised by the hostility people on the board have for private school when they answer posts. I don't understand it. Can someone explain it to me? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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Jealousy. When families have 45K post tax dollars to shell out each year for K, that breeds jealousy. Signed public school parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:08 PM Flag
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Not everyone gets in, not everyone can afford it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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This, plus there's the idea that if well-educated, affluent parents kept their dc in public school the public schools would be better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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Not everyone wants it, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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Bitterness and jealousy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:11 PM Flag
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Sour Grapes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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$45k obviously buys something, of course looks nicer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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Welcome to UB, and there are several factors at work. Some people are jealous that their DC got into one private or not another, and, with tuitions as high as they are, other people are asking if they are worth the money. Since the city is wealthier than it used to be, many people choose to raise their kids here, and there are many viable public options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:15 PM Flag
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fake, disregard this troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:20 PM Flag
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I don't really care what other families do, but when someone posts "private is ALWAYS better" or "we chose private because we care about education," it bugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
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Or the "anyone who could afford it would choose private" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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jealousy and it is understandable. NYC public schools are underfunded and sometimes dangerous. if is tough if you are not in a desirable zone and it's sad that good privates are so expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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I'm not jealous in the least. Both my kids went public K-12, went to their top choice colleges. It's the assumption that all public schools in NYC suck that is laughable, and wrong. DH and I are having fun with the million dollars we didn't spend on private school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:40 PM Flag
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ITA. Just read all the posts on this board about the 'dangerous' public schools. Psst: UBers aren't living near those schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Cheapest fares ? where do I go? I have a couple of thousand dollars and one week in August to go on vacation. No kids , no husband. Any advise. TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:04 PM Flag
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South America perhaps? Or europe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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Where in SA? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:07 PM Flag
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Peru- machu pichu? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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You fly into Lima then to Cuzco. Need a day to adjust to altitude, staying over at Macchu Picchu is a must. Frankly, I would be part of a tour. Keep in mind that it is winter there. Otherwise do Bermuda (maybe a cruise where the ship is your home) or PEI/Nova Scotia, etc. Again do a tour, that's not enough time to figure it all out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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Advice. Maybe spend the money on remedial English classes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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Iceland. Iceland Air is having a sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:29 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the best thing that happened to you this week? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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Stayed home from work yesterday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:02 PM Flag
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it's only tuesday! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:03 PM Flag
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ok in the past week [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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New sofa was just delivered. So much better than our worn, torn, albeit well-loved old one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:07 PM Flag
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DD got a summer job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:08 PM Flag
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Hey cool :) that's great [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:08 PM Flag
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She's relieved, we're relieved. College freshman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:11 PM Flag
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Why are YOU relieved? Were you afraid she was going to be hanging around the house interrupting your reading and socializing time all summer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:14 PM Flag
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np: You sound like a dick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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No. I was afraid she'd be down on herself for not having secured employment she felt good about. She's a good kid who wants to succeed but sometimes isn't as proactive as she could be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:16 PM Flag
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np. She's relieved because it's hard to get a job, you jackass [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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My best thing is when nothing bad happens [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:09 PM Flag
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Same. Didn't go that way though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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Buyer signed the contract to sell for our apartment. DS got a new teacher assigined to his class after a lot of chaos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:10 PM Flag
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2 yr old DS is so cute running naked to the potty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:13 PM Flag
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I had a contact visit from 2 UB-ers who brought homemade cookies. Thanks guys, you know who you are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:19 PM Flag
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Only more perfect if they had brought lasagna [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:23 PM Flag
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True, but I don't have an oven and couldn't have heated it. Cold pizza is fine, but cold lasagna? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:25 PM Flag
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are you inmate mom? lol I thought you were out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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No, Sugar, my last trip "outside" was shorter than I had planned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:32 PM Flag
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I'm guessing this is IM. Hi, IM! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Hey, Sugar! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:28 PM Flag
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Glad you liked them, nice to finally meet you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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No way. This didn't happen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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Sure it did. Not every visit is behind bulletproof glass. You know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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dinner with three grown dcs in the city [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:27 PM Flag
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Terrible week for me tbh. I had a good dream about my dog? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.21.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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