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[ - ] Most ridiculous FB posts right now? Mine: "I'm very selective when it comes to befriending people," says the guy who's brother I barely know in high school 25 years ago. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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Friend from high school posts pic of her disgusting messy living room, with her wearing some cheesy Forever 21 dress, her two DDs from some former baby-daddy, her current tattooed BF, plus BF's pit bull. One big happy white-trash family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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You can take the girl from flyover, but you can never take the flyover out of the girl... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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No! This is Queens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:14 PM Flag
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Just roughly 1,000 pictures from 17 different weddings that apparently happened this weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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LOL. I;m not surprised though because I observe that when people post about personality stuff they post about what they don't have but would like to have and tries to create an online persona that is the opposite of their real personality in some aspects. A friend I know well keeps posting about honesty and hating two-faced people and she is the most dishonest person I know around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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Another friend posts about how selfless she is and how she is ready to help others and she is one of the most selfish people I have known in my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Am I the only person left in the world who doesn't use Facebook? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
[ - ] WOH moms what is your daily makeup (or no makeup) routine? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Light foundation/tm, a little eyeshadow and mascara, neutral lipstick. Takes under 5 mins [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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SAH moms need not respond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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True. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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Yes, because we never leave the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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Never, ever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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We're not allowed to wear makeup :-D [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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:)))) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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I wear it under my burka, don't tell my husband he will cut off my nose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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+1 Sometimes I sneak and try to read a bit. I can almost hold a conversation with adults. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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OR we have to wear it to keep our man interested. We have no other value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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We are just taking up space anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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A higher level of product is required for SAHM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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Yes, I am only allowed to wear wet & wild. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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BB cream, powder, blush, bronzer, fill in eye brows, eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick. I don't do touchups throughout the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Light foundation, concealer, fill in brows, mascara, tinted chapstick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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tinted lipgloss. occasionally will add gel blush if feeling washed out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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Tinted foundation moisturizer combo, concealer, powder, blush, eyebrow pencil, mascara, chapstick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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no make up. Wake up, take a shower, ready to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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natural goddess! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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Or dreary mess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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No I am very well put together naturally. I can actually wake up in the morning and not crack the mirror without "my face from the bottle". In fact, most people can, but they just don't see their lives without a layer of clown make up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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Goddess no. Natural yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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Foundation, fill in brows, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, concealer. 40s ain't no joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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BB cream, contouring bronzer + blush, concealer as needed, mascara, fill in brows. Takes 10 mins if you know what you're doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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I stay at home and I'm responding anyway. I wear concealer, blush, eyeshadow and lip gloss. Takes three minutes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have a vaccum they like a lot? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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Hoover Wind Tunnel. Got it in 1996 and I've had to change the belts a few times, but that thing still packs a punch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Oreck halo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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miele [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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+1 or bosch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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+1, very good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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Sebo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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It is sad how much I like my Hoover Linx, which is a battery-operated portable. I have the Wind Tunnel canister vac, but hate lugging it around, dealing with the cord, etc. We have a big house and with the Linx I can do a quick once-over in 15 mins, without having to recharge the battery. It's small and light, nothing to plug in. You do have to empty the canister every few rooms, but it gets up all the dog hair. I feel like a spammer but it has actually been life-changing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Dyson. Love it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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ditto on the Hoover Linx. love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Dyson. bought from target, don't know the model from the top of my head. love it. Use to own rainbow before dyson, loved that one too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:12 PM Flag
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Mine really sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Miele. Love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Need help: I miscarried Thursday night. DH watched porn early Friday and Sunday morning. I'm sad and angry. I want to confront him. I want to tell him I want a divorce. Am I just grieving? or am I justified? 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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Everyone grieves differently? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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This. Insensitive at best but maybe zoning out with mindless brain candy was his way of coping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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Men have a physical need to ejaculate. It's kind of funny in some respects but I wouldn't hold that against him, especially if you just miscarried and weren't available for sex. But with a sex drive like he has, you're going to pregnant again in no time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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Isn't it a time for him to grief too????????? Shouldn't he make me breakfast than watching porn and jerk off?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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More context. How do you know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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I checked the browser history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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np: Oh, I thought he was watching it in front of you. This changes things a bit. Why are you checking browser history? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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So you were looking for a reason to start a fight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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Yes. I guess I was looking for a reason to be mad at him because I think he's not grieving as he should or as I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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I get it but you aren't helping yourself as I'm sure you already realize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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Why did you check the browser history? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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NP. I am like this too. If something bad happens in my life I seek more sources of bad. It's fucked up no idea why I'm like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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NP. I am like this too. If something bad happens in my life I seek more sources of bad. It's fucked up no idea why I'm like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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I am sorry for your loss but you married a man that watches porn, many do and you're unlikely to find a man who doesn't watch porn if you divorce and seek to remarry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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I want a man who doesn't watch porn the day after my miscarriage. Is it too much to ask? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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You wanted to add to your grief which is why you checked the browser history. He didn't connect the miscarriage and porn, you did. Why don't you just talk to him in an open and non accusatory way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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How do I do that? Knowing him, I think he'll just start deleting browser history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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I would directly ask for what I need specifically and let go of what already happened. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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It is a very odd request. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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While it's odd, maybe the release changes his focus so he doesn't have to deal. Women work through issues, men don't. They just move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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What do you want to say to him? Why do you want a divorce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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I want to yell at him what kind of man watch porn first time after his wife miscarries. I want a divorce because I think it's wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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You will sound like a lunatic. Don't have this argument. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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Your DH is a royal tool. I don't think he is mature enough to be a dad right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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What should I do. I feel so sad, angry, and lost. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:03 PM Flag
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You cry. Hopefully you have family circle or friend circle you can talk this through with, because obviously your dh is an emotional cripple. If you don't have anyone close that can hear your grief and offer emotional support, there are groups for that. Do not deny yourself a chance to process this completely, otherwise it will stay with you much longer and much more intense than it has to be. Not that it will ever go away, but it will fade into the background of your head to pop up, only once in a while instead of being your reality 24/7 (that is probably how it is for you right now). I am really sorry for your loss. I hope your pain subsides soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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This is so over the top. Her DH is not an emotional cripple, and miscarriage is not something that will stay with you for the rest of your life. It's upsetting, but it's an unfortunate part of life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. How would you have rated your marriage on Wednesday? Is this out of character or not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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Thank you. It has been a problematic pregnancy. but I would have rated my marriage 8 out of 10 on Wednesday. I think if I'm honest with myself. Porn is probably the single most problem from my perspective. I'm Asian. DH is Asian. He only watches blonde porns. I know it's all about fantasy and what not. But I cannot help but feel that he's only sexually attracted to blondes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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I think it's why I'm particularly angry about the porn incident this time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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I'm sorry for your loss (BTDT 3x) but yes, you're just grieving. People grieve in different ways. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Dont lash out at him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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Men don't always know how to react to these things. When my grandmother died I told dh (distraught I was very close with her) and he reached into a bag of chips and are a handful! That doesn't mean he isn't a good husband, he is a great husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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LOL. Guess he was hungry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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I guess! The funny part was that he was a huge fan of my grandmother and loved her immensely. This was a long time ago and he still talks about missing her. I bet if I told him he ate chips today he wouldn't even believe me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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Sorry for your loss. I can't stand porn. My ex was addicted to it and I left him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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One has nothing to do with the other. You don't want a divorce. You are just havi g a pity party and feeling like a failure. Wallow a bit, then get up and on with it. I'm sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:05 PM Flag
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Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, it looks like you are stuck at the anger part. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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Your grief is looking for things to be angry about... be very careful how you react in your over-emotional state. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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You're incredibly hormonal and grieving. Do not tell him you want a divorce. Wait a few weeks. If you still feel that way, then bring it up to him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:15 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you use in your home to play music in the house (like what we used to have a stereo for?) 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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A stereo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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Sonos and a real honest to goodness record player [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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Pandora on my iphone, occasionally hooked to a speaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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imac or tv (run music CDs on connected DVD player) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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Sonos+pandora [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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iTunes or iTunes Radio stream to AppleTV hooked up to speaker system [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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DH installed a pretty good stereo system in our apartment. Sound system is even linked to the television. We also have a turntable! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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We are an airport to stream music from our devices to the stereo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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What kind of stereo lets you do this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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My husband got me a Kipsch speaker for Christmas last year. I play I heart radio through my Iphone on the speaker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:06 PM Flag
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Multiple stereo systems in different rooms, fed using Apple Airplay from our phones, pads, and master PC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do people troll? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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Because its immense fun to bait people so. (Signed occasional troll). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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To get a rise out of someone. To make her depressed self feel alive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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This. They need the chemical rush. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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So it is out of depression? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Or bitterness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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OP: Plot twist. This was asked by an occasional troll who wanted to psychological insight as to why they themselves troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Is there a certain time of day you're more likely to troll? A certain type of poster who sets you off? Are you happily married? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Yes, a poster who calls poor people vermin or immigrants the downfall of the US. The high and mighty, better than thou posters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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I wouldn't call these people "trolls". They have an opinion which is not PC and they can't express in real life. UB is their outlet. Trolls are those who fabricate crazy scenarios here to get a raise out of people. For instance, the post about the dd's bloody underwear, OW posts, neighbors' dc disappered, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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I disagree, the former are trolls too. They specifically come to a site where their opinion is unpopular just to get attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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I am a troll. Maybe I have a bad life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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Maybe you like drama? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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I used to troll when I was unemployed and had a lot of free time. Trolls are usually bored and want to spice things up for attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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What did you say in your troll days? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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Because there's a rush of seeing your inner thoughts and opinions validated. It's the same thing as why stand up comedians become addicted to their work - because there's an immediate, overwhelming rush of validation and attention. The issue with their craft, of course, is that almost no one has the balls to stand up and be pilloried for saying things you're not "supposed" to say in ways that you're not "supposed" to say it. Here, you can just keep lobbing shit out there until something sticks, and when it does you get all that approval of knowing that you got the attention of other people in a very safe space. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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^^ Here's the thing, though. I post here a lot, but the things I post are all real. I have enough wacky, interesting shit going on in my life that I don't need to make things up to get attention. I mean, I definitely "package" things in a certain way to express them in a format that works for this site, but I don't make things up just to get people talking. Don't you have anything real in your life that would make good fodder for a fight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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OP: Actually I get called a troll when I'm not even trying. I guess I am looking for a reaction but not a negative one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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Boredom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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I actually think trolls are damaged. I think it shows in real life but they think they have it hidden, or worse, think they are better people than they are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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OP: Do you know when I first heard of UB I imagined it to be an educated, erudite, respectful, intelligent community? I couldn't believe how rude and disrespectful posters were. So it became a deranged hobby to troll them to blow off steam. I do it less often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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I know a guy who trolls yahoo mommy pages, he has a lot of anger about being single and all of his friends getting married and moving on. He is pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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LOL Did he actually admit it? That is a weird hobby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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He was drunk and thought it was funny, we were all horrified. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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Main reason this board has more trolls and troll-like posts is because its Anonymous. If they required people to actually use a profile pic, log in name and registration info - the posts here would be much more civilized as it would be easier to "follow" certain personalities based on their profile name, pic, posting history, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Because people ask a lot of stupid questions and it is sometimes fun to think of witty comebacks pointing out how dumb their question is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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Jesus, go get laid or something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
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There's a creepy guy here named Andrew Lazarus who loves to stir the pot by posting about the vaxers and non-vaxers. He's on several sites under that name and quotes the site sometimes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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Because they're idiots. Maybe teenagers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone watch Masters Of Sex? Really enjoying it. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Yes. Me, too except for the side plot about the weight loss lady who's fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Am I the only one who sees a strong link between today's hipsters and the arts and craft movement? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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Is there an arts and craft movement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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I am referring to William Morris et al and the movement from the last couple of decades of the 19th century [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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sigh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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Maybe there's an element of the arts and crafts movement that runs through the hipster community, but I don't see a strong link. I think the arts and crafts movement was based on a reaction to industrial and machine made things. As much as the hipsters claim to care about "artisan" and whatever, I don't think it defines them as a group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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we are in a similar 'tech' revolution and their reaction is to 'live simply and work with their hands'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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Eh, I know a lot of people who live the hipster dream and they're all about technology. It's a social group more than anything. Maybe the original hipsters had a purer philosophy, but it is certainly not the general practice among the greater group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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interesting. So what is their general philosophy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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No, but I see one with the slow food movement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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yes, I can see that but how big is that movement? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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Pretty damn big. Organic, local, artisanal, house made, etc are huge buzzwords. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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Yes. Hipsters are, at core, consumers. They produce very little. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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actually I disagree with this. they seem to value producing physical goods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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No, they value buying physical goods and taking classes to pretend they can make them themselves. Very few hipsters create anything more than hobby pieces. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:03 PM Flag
[ - ] wwyd? 3rd grade ds says virtually all the boys play flag football at recess and he's sad because he's left out since he doesn't know how to play/isn't good (which is true). Would you strongly push him to take a flag football class to make it easier for him to join the others? he claims he wants to play w/them but he's also resistant to practicing. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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Most kids don't want to work hard at getting better at something when they are already behind - so his resistance is natural. You have to figure out whether to push him hard or let it go. NO right or wrong here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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op. you nailed it. he doesn't want to work at it but i find it hard to believe that in the 3rd grade he's already so behind. i mean, geez, have these kids been playing since birth? all seems so silly. PS i can't decide how far to push him. tough to tell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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He just might not be any good. My DH was terrible at sports as a kid... always picked last for teams at elementary school. Sports were just not his thing. Until he found skiing and sailing and tennis.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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He needs the currency. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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OP push him. My ds went through this and it never really went away. I wish I knew to put him in classes at a young age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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Maybe your kid isn't a "team" type. There are individual sports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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Exactly, it doesn't go away. At recess boys need to be able to run, throw and catch a ball, dribble and pass. Basic skills, basic level - you don't have to be good - you just can't be bad. And all of these take practi e, so find a place with strangers where he can learn. He also needs to know how to jump in there and not wait to be asked and how not to be a whined/complainer. Do you have a dh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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If he wants to do that, sure. But there aren't classes per se. He would sign up for an afterschool program where some of the dcs may know how to play and some of them aren't. Why not look for someone at recess who isn't playing football and play with him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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Virtually all? Hang out with the few that don't or some of the girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:50 PM Flag
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I would find a man to help him. Not a class. It will be the same dynamic in a class. He needs one on one tips. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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You can offer him a class, but I wouldn't push it. My ds was a big one for "everyone but me is doing it/is better at it," and it always turns out not to be true. That may be his perception, but realistically, there are undoubtedly other boys who don't play this game or aren't good at it. And if you do invest in a class, the boys will move onto something else and he'll still feel left out. More important to find a few friends to play with and build confidence, imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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easier to learn in 3rd grade than in 7th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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I am pretty sure most of the boys don't know how to play properly either, my 2nd grader plays flag football at recess and has never taken a class, just knows what the other kids have told him to do. If he doesn't want to learn he should find something else to play, not something worth pushing him to do. Flag football is probably popular now because it is football season, it will be something else in a couple of months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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I used to play with the boys at recess. There is nothing to the recess game, they don't line up in formation or anything. The offense stands in a line and they all run out to catch the ball and the defense tries to break up the pass from the quarterback. I don't understand what is confusing to him and wonder if he is fibbing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Do your children have a better life than you did at their age? 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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Different, but I don't know if better or worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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Very very much so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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Yes we live in a tiny apartment with books in disarray and toys strewn everywhere but we do what we can. Unlike my parents who were homeless and believed in a weird Jesus hippie cult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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wow. you grew up in a cult? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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No, my grandparents adopted me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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sounds very difficult [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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It kind of was. Turned me into a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:55 PM Flag
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children of god? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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sounds like children of a lesser god [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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sounds like children of a cult leader with a God complex. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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it was a popular-ish cult in the 1970s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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sounds like child abuse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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yes, there was plenty of that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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Cool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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Should write a book about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:10 PM Flag
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yes. more toys and no beatings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:34 PM Flag
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So much better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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100% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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With regard to education, yes. But with regard to living in a shoebox with no family nearby, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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Yes, but I had just as much love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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I'd say, at this point (mine is young) it's just about the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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Same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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No - takes more to keep same lifestyle in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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But you must think the tradeoff makes for a better life overall or else wouldn't you go to the burbs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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What is it with the 'burbs? Why do people think this is a default? For someone who grew up in NYC moving to London is a much easier concept than moving to New Jersey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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I'm wondering if people saying same or no are people who don't have more money/better education than their parents (possibly because their parents were already educated UMC). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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My parents were already umc and we went to a great private school, so I don't think my kids are receiving a better education than we did. My mom really liked being a sahm and we spent a lot of time at museums, doing art projects, etc. I think she was more patient and fun than I am. I also think I grew up during an optimistic time period - we all assumed that if we did ok in school we'd go to good colleges and if we went to good colleges our lives would turn out fine. That was largely true, but I don't know anyone who takes that for granted now. There seems to be a lot more anxiety about the future, which creates more pressure on kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:54 PM Flag
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Much better home life, education and ability to vacation and travel. I was much more self sufficient with a lot more freedom and street smarts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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This is a good question. I believe I subconsciously think about this every day. I try hard to make it better but I don't know if it is. My childhood was neither happy nor unhappy. I hope dcs will find more excitement in life than I did which is why I am raising them in NYC and not some dull suburb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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Slightly better, we aren't divorced and that is supposed to be better. Personally, I think it is about equal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Yes. Parents are happily married and educational opptys are better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:09 PM Flag
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Yes. Parents are happily married and educational opptys are better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:57 PM Flag
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I grew up in a MC household , my parents scrimped and saved to give me a good education but we didnt have many luxuries. We went out to a restaurant once a year and we didnt have many toys. But my parents had me at 22 years old and didnt have the money. My children are have so much more but at the end of the day the love I received means that I am not sure my children have a much better life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:59 PM Flag
[ - ] 2 yo dc speaks but its very hard to understand what he is saying. Only says bit of the word but tries to string words together which makes understanding him more difficult. Are there any exercises I can do to encourage him to pronounce words better or more fully? TYIA 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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i'd try EI and get speech therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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what is EI? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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Early Intervention. Free therapies from the government. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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Wow. Where do I find more info about this? I am in NYC? TYIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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contact the doe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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department of education? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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NOT DOE, it's the department of health NYS. OP should go see her pediatrician first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:30 PM Flag
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I will. TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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np: FYI….I've had my 2.5 yo ds evaluated twice and he was very much like yours, only a few words and non-intelligible. Didn't qualify either time. If your ds has full understanding of everything said to him (mine did) and has a few words, they don't care much about how he can pronounce them. They will tell you it will work itself out eventually. But do try and good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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TY. He does understand. He is just very frustrated because we don't understand him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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I know. It's frustrating for everyone. I was so upset that he did not qualify for free services as now we will need to pay out of pocket for private speech therapy. However, I just put him in preschool and this seems to be helping a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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maybe that is what I should try. TY so much for your advice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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We did this not through DOE but through a University based speech clinic. Cheap and convenient. It was for a physical impediment and dc was super responsive to the intervention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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early intervention [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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If he used a pacifier, I'd expect some garbled speech but if he didn't, I'd get a speech evaluation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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never used pacifier. Do I ask pediatrician about speech evaluation? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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np: Yes, they refer people all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Get an eval. Does he seem to hear OK? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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I think so but I will check his hearing just in case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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Talk talk talk to him. He will emulate you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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Yes. Talk to child in a normal language using real words. No high voice, no made up nonsense. And let child watch tv. They learn by repeatedly hearing other talk properly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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For a start, I'd not get advice for something that you are really worried about on UB. Talk to your pediatrician. If he/she thinks it's a problem, then get an evaluation. I really enjoyed a book called Growing Up With Language by Naomi Baron, about how children acquire language. Might put some of your worriers to rest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Just turned 2? Don't sweat it. If almost 3, then get EI. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
[ - ] TMI alert. Ugh. Have I started the beginning of the end? Turned 45 this year and lately having leaking issues. I wear a pantyliner daily but sometimes I have absolutely no abilitty to control or stop when my bladder is full. Yes, had vaginal deliveries, 2. They were 9 and 6 years ago. Is kegels the only answer? help! TIA 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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Have you tried doing them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:15 PM Flag
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just starting today tbh. I hate them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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buy a "kegel master" and do for 10 mins every night while reading. Bench pressing for the vag - it works wonders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Where is Kegels Mom when we need her?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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REad up. Sometimes Kegels are the culprit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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vag deliveries cause that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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See your doc. I had this - turned out it was a UTI (no other symptoms). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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you can do specialized physical therapy for this, search for pelvic floor PT in your area. Also, ask your gyn for a recommendation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
[ - ] What would you do? Planning for dc to switch from private to specialized high school. After a few practice tests, I think dc would benefit from some tutoring. A 32 hour weekend cram school would be about $1000, with a month to prepare for the exam. Worth it? I can no longer afford private, dc doesn't really have the grades for the best public high schools, due some family issues that unfolded during middle school, but can definitely handle the work the a SHS requires. Worth it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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If it works it will save you 40K x 4 in tuition [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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Yes, that's my rationale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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NO!!!!! You don't want cramming. Hire a tutor for a few sessions to work one on one. Much more cost effective: we did this for about $400. But also ask yourself, while dc may be able to handle the work, is this the right place if dc has been dealing with family issues and may need a more nurturing environment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:00 PM Flag
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2 SHS are 15 minutes away, instead of 1 hour. Thanks for the tip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:03 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is mad at me. He says I constantly make plans for us without running them by him first (I do, but I know what he likes to do and I've always been the crusise director). He says it is disrespectful which seems like a huge overstatement to me. I'm trying to say "let me check" more before accepting invitations or making plans, but it is hard when it is much more expedient for me to just get it done. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:12 PM Flag
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He's 100% correct. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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+1. Run plans by him first, not worth making a big deal about. Choose your battles girl! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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In the age of texting it would take you ten extra minutes to check in with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:16 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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op: I know, but when I do, he doesn't respond or says let's discuss it tonight. Discuss what? going out to a family dinner with a family he loves on a firday night when we have no other plans... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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Tell him you need to know by a certain time. He doesn't like having no say in your social life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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Maybe he's an introvert who would rather not stay home more often. Tell him you need him to be more decisive but he also has the power to veto things too now and then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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*rather STAY home... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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so tel the person inviting you you'll let them know tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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So why can't you respond to person inviting to say. "Sounds lovely, need to check scjeduke wkth DH's and will confirm tomorrow"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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According to the OR below, this will result in the family's social life grinding to a halt and they will be ostracized by ALL their friends and relatives! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:48 PM Flag
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You say you've always been the cruise director, so if it changed recently, maybe things for him at work or whatever have, too. Just need to recalibrate your system. Either that or he's CHEATING. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:17 PM Flag
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Yeah, because a guy who was cheating would give a shit about being in the loop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:18 PM Flag
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Sounds to me like you made one plan he doesn't like and now he's sulking but he probably never acknowledges all the planning you do and how much work it is to always keep the family schedule full of things everyone enjoys and to decline invitations that won't work for your family without ostracizing friends and relatives. And if you stopped doing that job he'd be the first one up in arms. I think you need to calmly lay this our for him, including what the alternative would look like (with him fielding a lot more calls and emails etc) and then tell him that if he no longer enjoys hiking near Aunt Martha's house you will take that into consideration in the future but this weekend he's going to have to suck it up as a small price to pay for having you do all the dirty work in the first place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:21 PM Flag
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THIS. good point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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Common courtesy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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Whether you've done it that way in the past is irrelevant. It's disrepectful to not discuss potential plans with him. If I were you, I'd prioritize a healthy relationship over plan making efficiency. How do you feel when he completely ignores your wishes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:11 PM Flag
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this. and its totally reasonable to say to someone that you'll talk to your husband and get back to them tomorrow. most people do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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Almost everyone does that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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So make plans, ask him as if you haven't already accepted. Cancel if you have you and say sorry you should've checked with your dh before accepting! If you're prompt people will understand and it'll be fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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Take turns. I hate when my dh does this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:32 PM Flag
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you are not his mother, you are his wife. you need to check with another adult before making commitment on both of your times. or you attend alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:04 PM Flag
[ - ] I need advice from smart women. I'm 45, and my twins have just started K. I have money, help, and am educated. I know a lot about foreign policy, human rights issues (and was a former war correspondent). I've been out of the game for 12 years and so have few contacts. But here is the issue: I want to do something very meaningful with my life for the next 20 years. I can't just shop and go to "appointments." Can anyone advise on what I should set as goals? What I could do? What could I accomplish in those 20 years in these fields? Should I hire a career coach? TIA 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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Do you want paying work or is volunteering good? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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Paying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:24 PM Flag
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^ Unless I can also be taken seriously as a volunteer... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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why don't you set up a website through which you teach aspiring journalists on how to produce ethical, unbiased content. the US in need of it. if your are interested in the money making part, there are multiple ays to monetize such a portal. you could also become a speaker on this topic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:08 PM Flag
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np. agree. the U.S. is in need of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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Do you have contacts at non-profits relating to your field? They are often good places to get back in to the workforce if $$ is not your primary goal as their budgets are limited and getting someone with good experience (even with some time off) for cheap can be beneficial to them. As long as you can show how you can add value despite time off (and show that you are committed to them for more than a stepping stone to something else in a few months) then that field can present you with all sorts of ways to do something meaningful. Just be prepared to take a low level position to start [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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You know nonprofits don't just hire anyone, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:23 PM Flag
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She asked if she had contacts at non-profits relating to her field. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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Yes, I work at one thanks. The point is if she had solid skills despite time out and is willing to start in a low level position she is a good fit for somewhere where budget for hiring limits the candidate pool. I did not say she could walk in and take a leadership role in one, just that sometimes they are good places to get back in to the workforce in an area related to past experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:26 PM Flag
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No one from a non profit is going to hire someone out of the workforce for 12 years just because they's some "Lowly" nonprofit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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I hate your answer. "Oh, you haven't worked in a while? Go work for a not-for-profit; they're desperate since they're cheap, so if you're willing to slum it I'm sure you could get in easy." Trust me, someone who has been out of the workforce for 12 years couldn't cut it in 85% of the not-for-profits I work with, and I work with a lot of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:22 PM Flag
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First OR and I totally agree. Non profits hire any number of talented individuals WTF [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:38 PM Flag
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Your response is just as insulting, just because someone has been out for 12 years does not mean they cannot cut it in the workforce, just that they have been using their skills in a different way. Not everyone who takes time out is a SAHM who cares about soul cycle and having their hair done. I am OR - all I said is if you have contacts at non-profits they are good ones to talk to, obviously she cannot expect to walk in to a high level position, I just find that non-profits are more willing to embrace diverse backgrounds than a lot of corporate jobs where resumes with gaps are tossed in the trash automatically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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It's insulting to say that someone who hasn't worked in 12 years is not as competitive a candidate as someone who is coming off of recent professional success, even if at a lower level? I know I'm being prickly, but the problem with your position is that is presumes that not-for-profits are more willing to overlook gaps in employment history because ... why, exactly? Because they don't have as many candidates? Because the work is easier? Because they're more "friendly" at nonprofits? I hire people all the time for a not-for-profit, and I'm also pretty fast to toss a resume with a big employment gap because I likely have four or five or ten ones from equally qualified people who don't have that gap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:33 PM Flag
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np. I have a 4 year gap and an MPA. I'm not sure how to get back 'in' - I want to work at a non-profit and I'm pretty willing to do anything. I'd almost rather volunteer or intern (if possible) than lock in to a job making around 50K - I want make an impact and be able to earn a good living, which for me starts at @70K. Any suggestions on how to plot a course? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:49 PM Flag
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I've been working in this industry in senior positions for 10 years, and I make $80k. So.... yeah. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:46 PM Flag
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I've made more than 70K in the past...I'm asking for advice in a multi-step plan for getting back to that level, even if includes some unpaid gigs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:02 PM Flag
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I have 25 years experience - but that gap, and being 50 is not a great place to (re) start. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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The point here is for a low level position, better shot at that at a non-profit than in corporate America. Especially if she has contacts, no one said it would be easy but it is worth looking in to as a place to start working contacts. After 12 years obviously things are going to be hard, OP also said she wants to do something meaningful. Where has anyone said she is going to walk in to this type of job? Just that they may be willing to see that she can add value. OP wanted to know where to start with contacts and said she wanted to do something meaningful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:44 PM Flag
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You keep harping back on this idea that the standards for hiring someone are lower at a nonprofit. You're saying "well, you definitely have no shot at a corporate job, so I guess you could try a not-for-profit. They might be willing to see if she can add value." Why would I be more willing to allow someone with an employment gap to "find her way" at my shop than a big bank would? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Because she thinks nonprofits are filled with morons who'll take anyone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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Eh. My DH took a job as technology director at a nonprofit after being downsized from a corporate job. He could not believe how different it is from corporate America. The caliber of the people, the difference in work ethic. He found they did hire a lot of people who weren't getting hired at corporate jobs. Obviously corporate jobs pay a lot more, therefore they attracted and kept better quality employees. This place couldn't really afford to retain the best; even my DH only took it as a stopgap measure. Needless to say, he escaped this place as soon as something better came along. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:07 PM Flag
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That's the story he told you, I'm sure. In my experience, what normally happens is people like that take a job at a non-profit because they figure "eh, I've worked for 15 or 20 years. I'm ready to take it easy!" Then they realize that these organizations expect them to actually WORK and accomplish things. There aren't five levels of management and staff between the technology director and the guy fixing the network, so they chafe at doing real work instead of sitting in meetings and sending out status reports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:13 PM Flag
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You sound super intense. Write a book? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:39 PM Flag
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OR: Yeah, I make no sense. Those are unrelated. I think OP sounds like a really intense person. She also sounds like she's had some interesting experiences, so maybe she could write a book (passing along her knowledge to others would be meaningful). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:45 PM Flag
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She sounds like a normal person with an education who wants to use it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:35 PM Flag
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If I could afford the pay it, I would work for an organization like Hagar International that helps rescue girls and women from sexual slavery around the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:40 PM Flag
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*pay cut. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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Google 'the greatest challenges facing humanity" and you will find organizations doing some serious work, especially in international area. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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op: Thank you, good idea! Does anyone know of serious career coaches who could guide me through the process and help set goals? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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pp. There definitely out there but look at OnRamps, Join LinkedIn and any relevant groups and start attending conferences. Also, look at what graduate schools are doing in your field - attend lectures, etc. Your college's alumi / career office would probably be a great resource, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:52 PM Flag
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OK. You're smart, educated, well-off, but without current credentials. Willing to work hard? Then reset and restart. This country is awesome for that. Go back to school. To a school good enough to be a hotbed of recruiting activity. Go get an MBA, join McKinsey, and then you'll have a gazillion options to get into social sector, government, for-profit organizations at a relatively senior level. That's a 4 year career investment for the rest of your 20 year+ productive life. While that might be a bit extreme as your kids are still in elementary, plenty of people make that work. Alternatively, go get a Masters in Public Policy from the Kennedy School of Government. Lots of similar options. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:43 PM Flag
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I don't think you can just roll up to the Kennedy School and say "hey, I'm kind of bored after not working for a decade plus. Can I get a degree please?" I mean, the people who are in that program are superstars. You can't just get accepted because you're in the mood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:47 PM Flag
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Oh, apparently those nonprofits will take anyone (seriously, WTF) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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No one said that either, we don't know the extent of her background, what she has done during her break from the working world, if she has relevant contacts. If she can stand out she has a shot at going back to school or finding a non-profit that may have use for specific skills she has, in other words she has to be able to show she is not just anyone. It is a hard road, no one is denying that, just giving some directions. Should we really all just tell her not to bother because no one is going to hire her and she won't get in to any grad programs? So nice to see how unsupportive everyone is of someone trying to get back in to the workforce. Kind of depressing really [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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OR. No, but if OP is smart, with a good educational background from before, and can tell a good story, then she has as much chance of getting this as any younger candidate.. if not a slightly higher chance for diversity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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op: If I get an MBA now I won't be able to join McKinsey until I'm 49. Is that even possible? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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^ if so I'm happy to do the work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:37 PM Flag
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OR. Yes its possible. Not 'normal' as in the middle of a distribution curve, but yes it happens. I knew several 40/50 year old associates. Its hard, as you are surrounded by kids, but you can learn a hell of a lot in a very short space of time, and get an incredible "reset" to your resume. Bigger question is, do you want it enough, do you have enough energy left, to keep up...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:58 PM Flag
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Goals are by definition something you have - not something that you seek on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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I have some real advice for you. You're making a classic mistake of trying to figure out what job, or career, or opportunity someone is going to "give" you. You're asking about hiring a career coach who is going to, what? Take your experience and skills and tell you what to do? It won't work. There's no magical bucket of meaningful careers that you can be shown. You need to stop thinking about "what should I do?" and start thinking of "what do I want to be known for?" I wouldn't hire someone who said "I want you to give me a job because I think it will give me meaning in my life." I mean, good for you, but not so good for me. I would hire someone who said "I'm going to burn the fucking world down because I'm so upset / passionate / invested in this idea, and if you don't care about it, I'll keep busting down doors until I find someone who is." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:56 PM Flag
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YOu again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:51 PM Flag
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I know, right? So insufferable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:08 PM Flag
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No, the better answer is that someone is going to be thrilled to spend six months of 70K a year salary getting someone up to speed on work they've never done after being out of work for 12 years. That seems reasonable, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:11 PM Flag
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And not as helpful as he thinks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Would any of you, if it was possible, trade your current life, restart and go back to high school? You would go back knowing what you know now. Would you and would you do things differently? 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:02 PM Flag
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Yes of course, hindsight is 20/20' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:04 PM Flag
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So what would you do differently? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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Everything differently. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:53 PM Flag
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I would do things differently but I don't think I would go back to HS. My big mistake came the day I started law school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:54 PM Flag
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Me too. Law school was the biggest mistake of my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:55 PM Flag
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NP: While I do not regret law school, I do regret having chosen the particular law school I did (NYC Tier 2). I would have busted my butt harder on the LSAT to get into a Top 20 law schol and then into Biglaw, just to make enough $$ to do something else. Right now I am trapped in a crappy insurance defense job that pays peanuts and no way to get out because my savings acct is pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:01 PM Flag
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Loved law school! Some of the best years of my life by far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:57 PM Flag
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OR - I loved law school, just not what came after! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:05 PM Flag
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The usual story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:27 PM Flag
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Yes and do everything differently. I would follow Princeton Mom's advice to the letter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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It's not a guarantee to happiness. You'd be miserable because of something else. This is probably the worst reason to take someone up on this offer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Oh I'm not miserable, how did you presume such? I wasted a lot of years that I wish I had back and wasted a lot of time on silly pursuits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:59 PM Flag
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Everyone ends up unhappy with something in life. But a full bank account can help with a lot of those things, and a good way to that end is to marry a smart, ambitious guy to begin with. There are no guarantees in life; doesn't mean you can't play the odds and choose to put your money down on better horses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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AMBITION is the key word. Smart just doesn't cut it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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Who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:41 PM Flag
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No. Everything is pretty good if not perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:07 PM Flag
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That would be awesome! But it would be too much work, and damn near impossible, with all that hindsight to conceive my sons and I'd live my (new) life longing for them. I, unfortunately, might have to decline... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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Of course, an extra youth, this time with the wisdom of age. Who wouldn't want that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 04:56 PM Flag
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HS no, because it was an easy public and not much could be done different. College maybe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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Had children in my early 30's. Of course I don't want to give up the ones I have now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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Yes, but I'd want to end up with my exact same dcs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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If you had asked me at 20, I would have said yes. I was raped as a freshman in HS and tormented for it, and it took me a good 10 years to get over it. There were many years I would have gone back and done anything to avoid that. But now, I don't feel like that experience defines me as a person, nor has it affected my ability to live the life I want to lead. The person I am today is a culmination of everything I've been through in my life, and even though I'm not perfect, I'm proud of who I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:13 PM Flag
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Great! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:03 PM Flag
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Thanks :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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My first response was "of course!", but my husband and children mean the world to me, so no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:06 PM Flag
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It's tempting because the path has not been smooth but I don't think there's any smooth way to get where you really need to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:10 PM Flag
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I thought I would say that I would run like hell when I met my ex. However, I would not have my dcs and I can't imagine without them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:25 PM Flag
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The only thing I would have done differently is that i would have had my hair professionally cut starting in high school. I cut and colored my hair myself and it looked like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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I prefer to achieve this by living vicariously through my children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:31 PM Flag
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I would like to come back AS my children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:36 PM Flag
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Said this last night and I'll say it again .. in my next life, I want to come back as DH. Wife #1 takes care of everything with regards to his children. Wife #2 (that would be me) attends to his every need (even though I still WOH FT). Literally all he needs to do in life is show up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:42 PM Flag
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if i change my past, i wonder if i would still meet my husband. but i know my career trajectory would be completely different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:28 PM Flag
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Not high school, although maybe I would have changed where I went to college. I'm happy with how I grew in my career, happily married, love my kids...would like a little more money is all. But life is good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:29 PM Flag
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I would! I would just change hoc and investments to make more money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 05:53 PM Flag
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Yes. But I would still want my son, except I would try to have him 15 years earlier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.22.14, 06:04 PM Flag
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