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[ - ] serious question: there is a couple and the wife is obese - do you think they have sex? is anyone here seriously obese and has regular sex with (normal sized)DH? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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I have quite a few male friends who love a good fat woman. One said he likes to get lost in her softness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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Thanks for killing my appetite for lunch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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...plus obese friend always has a fine boyfriend in her life who treats her life gold. She divorced her dh the minute he got it twisted and thought he could mistreat her. She does Not have low self esteem. 300 lbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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jesus christ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Which is better, Pratt or Parsons? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Depends on what you want to study, IMO. Parson is good for design; Pratt has always had a great reputation for fine arts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Doctor's office "lost" my blood work. WTH? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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Incompetence [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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So annoying. It's such a schlep to get over there too. And they take so damn much blood! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Ask them to call the lab that analyzed the sample. They have copies or results saved in a database [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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Doctor said there must have been a mix-up at the lab, they have no record of it. Is someone framing me for a crime right now? LOL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] S/o: new question about birthday party for my parents, 70 and 69. Everyone suggested doing it this year and not waiting for their 50th anniversary in 4 years. But I cannot afford a party now. How tacky would it be if I planned it but asked parents to pay? Horrible? It's embarrassing but we have had a terrible year financially. Should I just wait until next year, 71 and 70? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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No you can't make them pay for their own party! What is wrong with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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Ugh, well that's why I wanted to do it in 4 years for their 50th anniversary. I get it, bring on the flames. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Why would you waste everyone's time asking which of two choices you should do if you aren't financially able to do the one you knew everyone would suggest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Because I'm an asshole, okay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Not op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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I'm concerned about my mother's health which is why I thought the party might need to be done sooner and wanted opinions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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You can't ask them to pay. If you can't afford wait for next year or just scale down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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first of all, do they even want a party? My uncle had a big party for his 70th. At the party, my mom said she would kill me if I ever did such a thing (like people didn't know she was pushing 70, lol!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Why must you have a party? How about a small family dinner? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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You cannot ask them to pay. Do you have siblings or other family members who could split the cost and co-host with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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No, my sister does not get along with the rest of the family and would not be able to contribute much anyways. So I will just wait a couple years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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You might want to consider making it a luncheon instead of dinner. It's generally less expensive to book, plus the bar bill will certainly be lower. We did it for my parents 50th and it worked out really well -- people that age don't love going out at night, anyway. You can also trim costs by doing your own flowers, and by offering only wine and beer. Definitely don't ask them to pay for it!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone had a successful experience transitioning a 2.5 year old from a crib to a twin bed? I know most people do it before this age, but at the same time I haven't heard a single case where the child is not walking out of their bed every single night and into the parents room. My dd is an amazing sleeper (7.30pm-7.30am) and loves her crib. But we're expecting our second db in a couple of weeks and I would love to not have to buy a second crib. However, if this means that dh and I end up sleeping with a toddler or having to wake up during the night to escort her back to her room it's not worth it! WWYD? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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We got a "mini" crib for our second DB. Don't push DC out of crib. We kept DC in crib until age 3 and then took the side off to just make it a small bed until age 4. Mini crib was good for 18 months for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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We did it around that age - made a HUGE deal about it, big boy bed, blah blah. Kept the screws and screwdriver on my night table as a threat that he'd have to go back in the crib if he couldn't stay in his room. We also put up a guard rail along the side of the twin, and I think that helped because it made the whole thing less scary/not as much of a huge transition. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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^and agree that you can't do it to "make room for the baby" or anything like that. DS is our only child so we didn't have this issue, but I can see it being a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Yes but you can't do it to "kick" the older kid out of bed. Reward charts for your kid will keep her in bed. But at this point, just let the newborn sleep in a pack and play [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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Why would there be a big "transition"? She gets a new big girl bed! Hurray, how exciting! There may be a couple of nights that she goes into your room, but just take her back. That is how every single parent of two has done it. She's not a baby anymore -- she's a toddler. You don't need to treat her like a baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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I don't think I know anyone who has their kid sleeping with them but maybe I they just don't talk about it. We put our dd in a twin bed at 2yo and put her little sister in same room at 4mo (older was 2.4) and we've had no problems with this. They do both wake up at the same time though and will sleep 30-60min longer if we're at my parents' house and they are in separate rooms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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My almost 3 yo is still in a crib. I don't see any reason to rush it. In my opinion, they're old enough to go to a bed when they are old enough to face some of the consequences of defiantly getting out of bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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My 18mo can climb out of her crib - my older dd also climbed out by 18 months. Some people don't have the choice just to leave them in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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it doesn't sound like that's the case with OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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Our daughter had a great transition and almost never got out of bed. I think it helped that we kept the baby monitor in her room so she could call for us whenever she needed us. She trusted us to come when she called, so she never got out of bed to come looking for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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There was no issue with my DD at 3yo (exactly, switched in her b-day, which fell on a weekend). I think she would have been fine at 2.5 too. DS was a different story. He would always go back without a fight but came out 4-5 times on a bad night. 2-3 ons good night. We wound up letting him fall asleep with thr lights on for a few months. He understood we would turn them off but even now at 6+(DS)and 4.5, he has a big nightlight while DD has nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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You definitely don't want the 2.5 year old waking on top of newborn. Newborn can sleep in bassinet or a mini crib for quite a while. Try this for a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Things to do in Florida with a 12 yo boy? Would Orlando be the best bet? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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I already answered you on YBM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Swim with Dolphins, explore the Everglades on a boat, swim at the beach, look for shells. Etc etc etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Gatorland was one of the best things we did with our boys when they were 8-12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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My kids would LOVE that, especially if there is gator wrassling! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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They have a 3-4 foot gator that they let kids take a picture with. Kid sits on the back and the handler puts their snout in the kid's hands and they hold it closed. I still have one of those pictures on the fridge. Also you can buy bags of cold hot dogs and feed the gators over a rail. They have some huge ones. Boy heaven [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Busch Gardens in Tampa is fun - Dali Museum in St. Pete if he's into art at all. They have a cool Picasso exhibit going on now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Kennedy Space Center [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Universal studios! Great for kids that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Epcot? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Deep Sea Fishing. Sea Kayaking. Cape Canaveral. St Augustine, especially the fort. This is assuming your kid ain't a fag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Little Update. First, thanks everyone who gave me advice yesterday about deciding whether or not to accept money from another mom at school to pick up her DC. I decided to say yes to the money. Picked her DC up, brought DC home for 3 hours. She did NOT pay me. Picked her DC up and said "thank you so much!" 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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That makes your decision about how to answer in the future a lot easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Sure does! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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NP Wow, rude of that other mom. Shocked that she reneged. Next time the answer is NO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Yikes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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She did you a favor. Now you can tell her "no" in the future and not feel bad about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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I guess so. Although even before she failed to pay me I had decided not to do it again. I was resenting it before I even got her DC. Said yes because I would have appreciated $45 this week to pay my own sitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Hmm...I have had other mothers pick up my child and keep them after school. I have also done the same for others. I would never expect monetary compensation. If this was a regular thing, yes but every once in a while. What happen to helping out your community. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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She asks at least once a week one parent or another. She and her DH have paying jobs(her schedule has flexibility). She NEVER reciprocates because she is "busy." She was begging, said she would pay me this time so I said yes. Watching her DC impacts my own child's schedule on a school night because her DH picked up the DC when my younger child is essentially going to bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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^^I swap happily with other moms. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Sounds like the other mom offered the money. If op didn't decline payment, this mom stiffed her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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sounds like she offered the money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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link? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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I don't know how to link but it was posted yesterday around this time I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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OP in grad school but is able to pick up her own DCs most days, other moms taking advantage in a nutshell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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did she say she would pay you daily or at the end of the week/month? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:28 PM Flag
[ - ] MIL, I love you but you are driving me insane. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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At least you love her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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OP: true, but she's on my last nerve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Is she at your apt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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OP: no, but she's called me three times this morning to jibber jabber and tell me she can't help me with something she had previously agreed to help me with, and is now chastising me for not remembering that she said she was busy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Just stop answering the phone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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OP: I am. But it won't stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Gently tell her that you are busy and aren't able to speak with her anymore today. You will call her later in the week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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OP: that is perfect, I will say this. It's a sticky situation because I do need her help, but I'm regretting involving her in the first place now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Oh man. But you need to learn the art of not picking up and not feeling badly about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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OP: I'm headed that way. She's really going off the deep end lately, and it's ruining our relationship. So mad right now, and it's so not like me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Make your boundaries and stick to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Ditto, but substitute with newly retired FIL who texts me once an hour to ask if baby is on way (38 weeks.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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God that drives me crazy. I am about to face that myself in three months. GRRRR! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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OP: haha, I was 2 weeks overdue, I feel your pain!!!! GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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awww. that is sweet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:16 PM Flag
[ - ] What is wrong with us? We both woh, HHI of about $425K, 2 dcs and we could never afford private. Between mortgage/maintenance, childcare and living expenses we have barely enough to max out 401K. How do people on our HHI do it? 88 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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It's almost always a slight of hand with housing. They bought 15 years ago, they inherited an apartment, they found a one-in-a-million deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Ah, well, it's hard to believe that everyone gets these amazing deals! But even if we bought 15 years ago, we'd still have the maintenance. Even if our mortgage was 0 at this point, we could not afford 2 private tuitions (could afford 1 though). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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Yes, but your maintenance would be half of what your current mortgage is. We are in the exact same boat, and freak out each year during tax time. Housing and childcare the biggest expenses, plus NYC tax is crazy high. Take that same HHI in a LOC area, eliminate childcare with having grandma come over, and you'd be swimming in money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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^^^^ also, in other towns, private school is $20-$30K, not $40-$60K, like it is in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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This is totally true! Sad, but true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Ok, let's assume you take home $212,500/year. Take out $100k for private tuition. That's $112,500 take-home, or $9,375/mo. Now let's say you bought years ago, and you only have $2k/mo maintenance. That's $7,375 a month for all other expenses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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and? that's a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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That's the point, with low housing costs private is affordable at that income. But not many people have 2k a month in housing expenses with 2 kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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That was my point. Even if she "still had maintenance" she could do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Currently we spend about $6.5K a month on mortgage and maintenance and about $3.5K a month on the nanny. This is already more than the $9,375 we would have had if we went private. Plus there are other living expenses! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Holy shit balls. That is WAY TOO HIGH on both counts for your HHI. Assuming you can't move, then find a cheaper nanny solution. Or, if you have an infant, then you need to wait it out until you can have both in school full day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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How on earth is that too much for a nanny? The nanny works 45 hours a week. Youngest dc in part-time preschool, so she cooks, runs errands and does housekeeping. Even if we switched for a p/t sitter, we would save $1.5K a month at most (there are school vacations, random days off, kids sick, you need childcare OFTEN). So how would $1.5K month savings help us put 2 dcs in private? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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That's why I had the second caveat, assuming that she works FT. You are in the most expensive period of your lives (FT nanny, private pre-school). In a few years, your nanny costs will reduce. And no, you could not afford private on your HHI with your housing costs, no matter how you slice it. I think that's why we "feel" that we should be able to afford private on a 1% HHI, but we forget how much higher our housing costs are than it would be for Doctor and his SAHW living in Anytown, USA. No one pays $6K a month in housing outside of us idiots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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You are right, lol. Are your dcs older? Could you give me some advice on how to reduce nanny costs meaningfully once both dcs are in school f/t? Is it easy to find a reliable nanny who is willing to only do afternoons plus random school vacations, days off, sick days? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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If I had advice, I would write a book and sell it for millions to all of us UB moms. My DCs are 3 & 5, and both in school. I have an afternoon sitter, and she's is pretty flexible to come in during vacations, sick days. I also have a somewhat flexible job where I can WAH if I need to. But even though my nanny is a non-English speaking immigrant, we are still paying $1500 a month. The only way to reduce nanny costs is to have your mom do it for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Right, I wasn't disagreeing with you that you might not be able to afford it, I'm showing you how other people on your HHI do it by having purchased long ago or having an apartment bought for them. Now imagine that $425k is all coming from one parent, and the other is able to SAH, then you can erase that $3.5k nanny expense. That's why HHI is not always a useful tool. Even among people with your same HHI, your financial situation can be totally different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Yes, I see that. If I stayed home and we didn't have the mortgage, we could probably swing private if we cut out some expenses. But it would still not be a given. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Well, at that point it really does come down to lifestyle choices. Even in NYC, $7,375/mo should be enough for a family of 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:31 PM Flag
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Nope. Bought eight years ago. Spend years saving. Now 2 DCs, public but can afford private, max out 401k. HHI $350k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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And let me guess- you're a SAHM, or you work PT, and/or your parents or ILs take care of childcare? There is nothing wrong with that, but $350k with one income is different than $350k on two incomes. Even looking at 2 matching salaries is not doing an apples to apples comparison. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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Absolutely nothing. You can't afford private for two kids on your salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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Yet, apparently private schools are full of families with our HHI! How come? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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So many reasons. Some people don't save anything. Some people have family support. Some people make big sacrifices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Even if we didn't save anything, we still could never afford private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Grandparents pay tuition. It happens so frequently, and people often don't admit it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Not only don't admit it, don't even consider it as anything special, because they have always had gifts from their parents. Grandparents paying tuition is a "given" -- like having running water. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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Dear OP - Are you in Manhattan? We need to get that straight to begin with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Yes, Manhattan and good school zone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Ok. Great. So moms from Florida, Maine, etc., I love you, and of course you are free to comment, but this is a different set of variables. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Don't be discouraged by people who are flaming you from Kansas City!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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That is my definition of UMC in nyc. If you can afford a mortgage, private school, and save a little bit of money, then you are definitely UMC. It really doesn't matter what HHI is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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So at $425K and not being able to afford private, we are what - LC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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Mc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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no, just stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Also umc, just the lower end of it ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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It's not what you get, it's what you keep, and what you do with it that determines class. Maxing out your 401k is a smart move. In nyc, you are probably MC. I would need more information. However, If you meet all 3 of the conditions I stated above, then you are definitely UMC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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You spend way too much. Take an honest look at your expenditures and determine what is a true need vs. want. The following are wants: cable, eating at restaurants, expensive clothing, maid service. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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All these little things add up, true, but housing and childcare are the biggest eaters of money. You can save $5 by not drinking Starbucks, but that's not going to put a dent in your $5000 rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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np. You should not have $5,000 rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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What do you think it should be in NYC? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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That is totally normal for that income level. But it makes private hard. Housing costs are the big deciding factor in whether private is affordable at this income level and it is a luxury to have cheaper housing, it just isn't an option for most people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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You should be in a good public school district for that kind of rent. I moved to a more expensive area so my dcs could attend the best public schools in our city. They are getting a good education and I can afford to supplement with extracurriculars, travel etc. You need to examine your priorities and allocate your money accordingly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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OP - this is us as well - we can afford all the extras and travel, as long as we don't go private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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They are in a good public school district. But $5K is still a lot of money to spend on rent. Also, school ends at 3 p.m., so I need an afternoon nanny to pick them up, and that's also $$. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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It's a lot to spend on rent, but that is often what it costs to live in a moderately nice place in pleasant/convenient neighborhood in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Have you looked at rent prices recently? For a 2b/2b it's going to be minimum $6K in a good neighborhood. Ours is $5300 in a crappy district. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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np. good advice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I honestly don't think not being able to afford 80k a year for school on $400k income means they spend too much, that is a huge chunk of money especially if you also need childcare, then you are spending well over 100k just on those two things [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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And don't forget that this is post tax, which really means $200k pre tax. That's it. Half your income is gone in just basic tuition and an afternoon nanny for after school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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^^^ $90k and probably soon to be $100k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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There is no way we can save enough to pay two private tuitions by cutting out cable and a biweekly maid. We don't buy expensive clothing and take moderate vacations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Your rent/maintenance is too high. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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It's about $6.5k a month. While high, it's not outrageous given our income. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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You can probably cut some of those living expenses! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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True, but not enough to pay two private tuitions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Cheaper housing. we have same income and couldn't afford it but we paid more for our apartment to get a good school zone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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np. this good advice too. when did you buy? inventory, in good public school zones, is low. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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We did the same - relatively expensive apartment (but nothing outrageous) in a neighborhood we love. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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also depends on what you consider to be "living expenses" and what your priorities are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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Food, bills, some entertainment, a few trips a year, but nothing extravagant, summer camps for dcs in the city (not those $8K bus camps either) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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The childcare. We have your HHI but I SAHM and we can afford private for our 2. Other than that, people have cheaper housing or family helps out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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The nanny is about the cost of one private tuition, this is true. But we have no choice as we both woh. :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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nr - Couldn't you use the afterschool activities at school to save money on childcare? The privates typically have great afterschool options that run until 6pm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Those activities for 2 dcs will likely cost as much as the nanny without the flexibility. What do we do during school vacations, random closures, when kids are sick...? Besides, we both have fairly demanding jobs and it would be pretty tough to pick up at 5pm every day with no option to stay late. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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np. And that, my friends, is the number one reason thousands of women in this city SAHM. The trolls and the MRAs are just pushing their agendas. We know the truth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Rich parents/grandparents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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You're spending way too much. Forget private, you should be saving well beyond the 401(k) maxes, because you can't count on your sort of income forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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We consider the apartment a type of saving - at some point we will downgrade and cash out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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That's a good point. Your apartment is your retirement money. But that still makes the next 30-40 years a little tight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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More like 15-20 years until dcs finish college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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They probably aren't saving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Even with 0 savings, we couldn't afford two private tuitions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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First, a lot more people than you think have family help (directly paying tuition or an inheritance down the line so 401k/college savings not a big deal) and/or are not maxing out 401k. I know at least three families who pay private and put nothing towards retirement. Second, for a two-income family with 2 DCs, and no secret housing deals or sources of funds, I think you need hhi of ($400k + 2x housing) to afford private school without jeopardizing retirement or college savings. So, nothings wrong with you! The schools are very very expensive! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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^^^ though not sure why you are barely able to max out 401k. Our housing costs are higher than yours and we have ft nanny plus a preschool tuition on a little more than half your hhi, and max out 401k every year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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How do you do it? Housing plus nanny is $10K a month. Plus food, utilities, cable, cell phone, kids' activities (we do spend a lot on those - one dc has private music lessons and two sports, the other has two activities as well), birthday parties, entertainment, add part-time summer camp in the city and a couple of moderate vacations... that's it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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(sorry. Our housing is not more than yours. I thought you said $5k, but now see yours is actually $6.5. Ours is in between) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Sigh, you are probably right. It's just a bit sad, because I think we are incredibly lucky to have good jobs and good income. Still, in NYC it is not enough! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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It's enough - it just doesn't get you living in a good school + paying almost $100k/year for 13 years for private. You could swing private if you moved to some outer outer borough (I went to tt private - and can't afford same for my DCs - but there were kids who came in from northernmost Bronx and easternmost queens, or even from jersey). You also could look at it for HS, when you won't have the childcare costs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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As I tell my dcs, my money only goes so far. Therefore, I must make decisions on how I will spend that money. If we live in an expensive home, we eat at home all the time and go to the local beach for vacation. If I buy them expensive shoes, there is no money for school ski trips. You can live somewhere cheaper, be frugal and scrape the money together for private school tuition. However, is that how you want to live? If not, stop worrying about it and get on with your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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Our HHI is a little less and we have 2 dcs in private and it is a big stretch but we decided to make some sacrifices, plus our housing costs are low. We bought 10+ years ago and our mortgage plus maintenace is $2800/month. We inherited a mortgage-free country house so that's where we go for most vacations and holidays. The upkeep on the country house is only high in the winter (heating, snow removal) and as issues arise. We cook breakfast and dinner at home nearly every night (at least for the kids - dh and I have many work meals/events). On weekends we usually do family things which includes inviting families to dinner or going to their homes for dinner. We have a part-time sitter who does schoolpickup, warms up dinner, etc. It's tight but doable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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Thank you, this does make sense. I think it comes down to two things - $2.8K in housing expenses (versus our $6.5k) and a free summer house. We usually end up renting a condo on VRBO for vacations or going to fairly inexpensive hotels, but that still adds up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Forget the summer house, but think about the housing costs. If you moved to NYC today, and looked for an apartment for $2.8K or even $3K, what would you get? A shithole 2 bedroom in a terrible neighborhood, or a teeeeeny 1 bedroom in a slightly better neighborhood. Nothing sufficient for 4 people, let alone where the schools are good. That makes such a huge difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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nr - Sorry to hijack this thread, but we're moving to NYC and will probably be looking for a part-time sitter like the one you have. How much do you pay her for 5 afternoons/week? How did you find her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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You don't have to live in Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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Send your kids to a parochial school. We make one-fifth of that munificent $425k HHI of yours and we manage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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What is OP is not Catholic? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] MBA moms- what happens if you retake the GMAT and get a lower score than your first? Do you have to report all scores? I got above a 700 my first time. I really want to break 750, but I'm not entirely confident in my ability to do so, and I'm afraid I might take it and get a lower score. WDYT? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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Check the business school. The executive mba program at Wharton I think only looks at highest score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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I don't think she is Wharton material if she wants to retake it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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I don't think you have any idea about business school if you don't realize that a 700+ is a fantastic score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I didn't say it wasn't a fantastic score. But getting into Wharton's MBA program is extremely difficult, and there are plenty of people who get sky high scores on the first go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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Dh had a much, much lower score and got into Wharton. Just graduated in 2014. It depends on the whole application - not just one piece. He had a great story. np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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I got a 710 and attended Wharton [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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If it's like the LSAT, they will see the score report containing all scores, so if you go down, they will have that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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I went to business school a long time ago, so I barely remember anything about the GMAT, but 700 is a very good score. The GMAT score is not the be all and end all. They look for people with interesting backgrounds, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Once your score is above 700, it really doesn't matter anymore. It is more about your work experience/essays, recommendations, and interview at that point. I wouldn't spend the time or effort to retake, nor would I risk the chance of getting a lower score. Signed, HBS grad with a 720. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:10 PM Flag
[ - ] To whoever recommended Vitamin C serum for the face: a million thanks! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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Why the thanks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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Why does it do for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Do you have the original post? Are you using it for acne scars? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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It did nothing for me, so it's definitely a YMMV thing. Make sure to buy from a place that accepts returns! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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why on earth would you return it. Weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Because it didn't work. I don't keep anything that doesn't do what it "promises" to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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OP: no scars, it just seems to make face glory and smooth! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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^^glowy, not glory, LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:59 PM Flag
[ - ] In the most comprehensive study of its kind, a recent study reports that a penis that is 6 inches long when it is erect is in the 90th percentile for length. How does this square with your experience? (Link below.) 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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Wow. I have been a lucky girl in that respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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+1 same. I've had my fair share of partners and have only been with maybe 2-3 guys in my life that were less than 6 in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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ha ha. no wonder white women are always so cranky [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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dh. that's what mine is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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5 erect, or you would have measured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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huh? DW measured once. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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lol. I misread. thought you said "don't know what mine is". weird. sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I'm thinking it might be a little under 6, actually. We were kind of laughing at the time. I read the article just now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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I'm black and have mostly dated black men and am married to a black man so my experience is althogether different. 6 inches isn't horrible, but what can I say, I love a big d*ck... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I'm black and have mostly dated black men and am married to a black man so my experience is althogether different. 6 inches isn't horrible, but what can I say, I love a big d*ck... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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is the stereotype true then? tell the truth... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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I have been with about 8 black men and only 2 were disappointing in the size department. Sorry, but it isn't the "motion in the ocean" and size certainly does matter when you have been spoiled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Regarding the race issue, the paper is meta-analysis of several studies - two of which were conducted in Nigeria and Tanzania. The results from those studies did not differ significantly from the averages as far as I can tell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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there are differences between countries, but it's not all that much. the average is not only closer to 5, but it's measured from the base, not the top part, which adds an extra bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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do all men measure their penises? do women? I have never [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Interesting how we move on and forget. My daughter asked me the name of the missing boy from queens who was later found not alive. I could not for the life of me remember his name, though just a year ago I couln't help but remember his name as his face was posted all over NYC in an attempt to find him. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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Avonte. took me 2 secs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Here's a cookie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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Here's a bird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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Put a bird on it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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I couldn't remember. I knew the name began with the letter A, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Avonte Oquendo? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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"found not alive". Is there something wrong with "dead"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
[ - ] WOHMs with SAHDs: Be careful. Your SAHD, who feels "emasculated" by you, may develop a friendship with another mom in his free time, which could eventually lead to an emotional or physical affair. If this leads to divorce, since he is the SAHP, he will likely get primary physical custody, and you will have to pay him child support. Since he is not bringing in income, you may have to also pay him alimony in order to continue the lifestyle he has been accustomed to, alimony that he and the OW (who is likely a SAHM) would use to build their new life together. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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So SAHDs are emasculated, yet irresistable to the women they encounter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Funny how that works! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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I guess because the other women they encounter -- SAHM -- aren't ball busting career gals? So these OW want a sensitive man to replace the asshole DH they currently have? But then, these OW will get tired of the sappy SAHD because he's not bringing in all the money to which they've been accustomed. So ... who wins here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Apparently, the winner here is the cliche [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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HA! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Maybe - but I know plenty of women who are the primary bread winners yet are hardly "ball busting career gals". I think some women will emasculate even a DH who is the primary bread winner, and some will make their DH feel masculine if he works or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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How is this any different than husbands who support their stay at home wives? Not all men are that insecure in their masculinity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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I have seen exactly this happen. (NP) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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Me, too. The dad was unemployed and then seemed less and less motivated to get a job ... my friend found out he was messing around with someone's babysitter during the days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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Dear Ladies, you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't. You think the feminist movement brought you many choices, but really you have no good choices. You are female, and therefore, you are screwed. Signed, MRA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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What is this last millennium concept of alimony you are talking about. Lifestyle to which he has become accustomed. Hah, no. Doesn't work for sahm and certainly not for sahds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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This. I don't think people realize how much divorce laws have changed in the past 5 or so years. Just because you know a SAHM who got divorced in 2011 and got lifetime alimony does not mean that you will too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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Wait, I thought divorce was bad for SAHPs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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It is. But everyone loves a scare story! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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I remember this movie - Mr Mom! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Where in Florida should we go? Pretty beach, nice hotel pool. Don't need a night life, just some good restaurants. Quick girls weekend. Not interested in Miami, Keys or Ft. Lauderdale. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:32 PM Flag
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Delray Beach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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Singer Island is nice. Marriott Ocean Pointe has a great resort. Not fancy, but pools and on a very pretty beach. some restaurants in town a short walk away or can drive to West Palm, about 15-20 minutes or Palm Beach Gardens also 15-20 minutes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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Go to Naples. trust me. stay on west coast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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Captiva Island, Boca Grande/Gasparilla Island [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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Another vote for Naples. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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OP - Thank you all. I'm watching post, so please add any other ideas. Will be looking into all of the above! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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naples beach hotel or the ritz in naples. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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How's Clearwater? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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tacky [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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Anna Maria Island - off Sarasota. Lovely beaches, old Florida feel and very well priced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Palm beach four seasons [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Watercolor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 03.03.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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