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[ - ] At what age does it make sense to start tennis lessons for kids? My almost-6yo is very interested in playing (dh and I both played as youths and play VERY casually now), but I feel like it's kind of young. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:59 AM Flag
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If you live in nyc there are free tennis clinics all over the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:02 AM Flag
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Yes, I realize that - but that doesn't answer my question. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:02 AM Flag
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Six is a great time to start just having fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:05 AM Flag
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Ok, thanks. I'll look into it for the fall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:06 AM Flag
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Go to Arthur Ashe family day, it's free and has a lot of great tennis courses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
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[ - ] 37 y/o mom of two...DH just bought me a Coach bag as a gift. Is this bad? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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Is it logo'd all over ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:42 AM Flag
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Op: no, just plain color. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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So why bad? Sweet... And not too bad interns of fashion. DH never buys me anything... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Op: it is sweet. I just wasn't sure if this was stylish or not. I remember buying these bags in my 20's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:00 AM Flag
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Mine did too. I use it on weekends when no one is around to make him.happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:44 AM Flag
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Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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At least it's real. DH bought me knock off birkin from china and he keeps asking when I'm going to use this lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:45 AM Flag
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Gym bag [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:51 AM Flag
[ - ] What is it with people making nosy comments about your family and life choices? I am 32, have 3 kids and absolutely no intention of having nay more. Yet people are always saying "Oh, never say never" or "you're so young you should not close that door". One of the obs in my practice refused to tie my tubes (another let me sign the paperwork but I ended up having a natural birth so didn't have a tubal and dh had a vasectomy). Why is it anyone's business but my own?!?! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:34 AM Flag
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^^ sorry, ANY more! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:35 AM Flag
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Most likely they are older than you, have more experience, and don't want you to make a decision you'll regret. I'm 40, do you know how many people I know who tried to get reversals and failed? How many tell me eveytime I see then they wish they could have had one more...A LOT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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Perhaps, but not everyone is the same. I had horrible pregnancies and am not sure i could survive another. I think 3 kids is plenty and don't have the desire to raise any more! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:57 AM Flag
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You're too sensitive. This wouldn't bother me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:42 AM Flag
[ - ] I am struggling with abortion. I think I am still pro choice but after 2 dc and 3 miscarriages it upsets me. Why can't everyone just be in favor of comprehensive sex Ed, access to birth control, emergency contraception etc so abortions are way less frequent? Doesn't that benefit everyone? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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I agree with you but you have to understand that many people are just too stupid and or impulsive and or lazy to use birth control. abortion is the only answer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:23 AM Flag
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I get it. But I wish people weren't too lazy to use bcp [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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If you research it, you will find that women with the smarts and organizational skills to succeed have few abortions while the dysfunctional drug addicted women have dozens of abortions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:25 AM Flag
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It's a personal decision. You need not worry yourself about what other women do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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Pssst. It's not really about preventing abortion as an end in itself. It's about preventing women having sex outside marrisge. The anti abortion thing just means that pregnancy can be used as a punishment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:29 AM Flag
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You can be in favor of all those things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:32 AM Flag
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I have a DC partly because I could not abort when I should have. I love her to pieces. But my ex left me when I was pregnant and after what I went through with him during the pregnancy I am even more pro-choice than ever. No one should have to gestate and bear a child they dont want, even those who got pregnant intentionally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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I am you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:41 AM Flag
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Sorry to hear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:50 AM Flag
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9 out of 10 abortions take place before 12mo. The majority of those by 8 weeks.. before there is a heartbeat or nervous system and if you research women who are able to care for their children are not getting abortions. women in abusive environments, on drugs, uneducated etc.. are getting abortions. If you look at the hundreds of thousands of children in the foster care system suffering childhoods of horrendous abuse - I don't think we should force more uneducated drug addicted women to contribute more children to the fostercare system. You are not the demo. the worst shit you can imagine is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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The ones before 12 weeks are the more palatable ones. But abortion is and should remain legal until viability for good reasons. Dont hide behind the easier to like cases. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:46 AM Flag
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Heartbeat is at 5 weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
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studies show that free birth control is the best way to prevent abortions. At the very least birth control should be over the counter and not require a prescription. California and Oregon recently passed laws on birth control no longer requiring a prescription from a doctor, you just get a blood pressure screening at the pharmacy from the pharmacist and then take your birth control. Not sure how much this will cost though. If want the minimum possible number of abortions, then over the counter birth control is the way to go. Free over the counter birth control would be even more ideal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:38 AM Flag
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While true this is really not the point. You are never going to prevent every poorly conceived pregnancy. If someone wakes up during it and realizes it was a mistake, thabk god there is a way out. Shit happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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I would be in favor of offering government subsidies for low income teens to get long acting birth control implants if they so desire [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:38 AM Flag
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These exist. -MD mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:53 AM Flag
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link? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:11 AM Flag
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Because some are against contraception at all on moral grounds, to three think Iud or plan b are abortions, I'm in favor of all the above being cheap and available and that is how you cut down on abortions. Then if one passes the goal keeper or there is a physical issue or abuse, then abortion is the right choice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:54 AM Flag
[ - ] I have no energy and always need to nap can this be because I take antidepressants and anti anxiety meds and they make me really tired? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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Yes..could also be bc you are anxious and depressed though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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Have you checked your thyroid levels? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:48 AM Flag
[ - ] A dead lion? Oh no! Planned Parenthood butchers infants for money? HEY NOW MY BABY ABSOLUTELY SHOULD DIE IF IT THREATENS MY CONVENIENCE, IT'S MY BABY AND I CAN KILL IT IF I WANT lol liberals 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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Zzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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Lol conservatives who believe in no abortion bit no help for kids once they're born into bad circumstances, or for the mothers who bear them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Feeling chatty - hi hello 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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hello [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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Hi [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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What's up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else loathe going to the playground with their kids? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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Does anyone NOT loathe it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:10 AM Flag
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Thanks. Ily [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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just kill your kids so you don't have to deal with it. i mean its your body, your choice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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I love it. Gets them tired, and I can be as active or on my phone as I want, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:47 AM Flag
[ - ] DH has always struggled financially - managing money and making it - I love him but he can't catch a break and has endless runs of retail jobs, waiter jobs, hotel clerk jobs... I want to help him but I don't know how. Isn't there anywhere that will give him a 9-5 with decent pay? He's a hard worker just not a very "grown up" resume. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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Nurse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:05 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:06 AM Flag
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don't you have to have gone to nursing school to be a nurse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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He'd need to go back to school for this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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But it's only 2-3 years, isn't it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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OP he can't afford to go back to school unfortunately. I'm primary breadwinner and I can't pay for it right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:10 AM Flag
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What education does he have? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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art school.. for experimental film [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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^OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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PP. I have no experience with this so I can't give suggestions unfortunately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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he can get a nursing degree at a community college. Very affordable. They even have scholarships for male nurses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:13 AM Flag
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If his background is in art, what about an art teacher? Lots of charter schools in NYC hiring art teachers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:14 AM Flag
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honestly, i work in the hotel industry. plenty of executives get their start as front desk clerks. if your husband was not able to do a great job at the front desk of a hotel, he just may not have what it takes to hold down a nine to five job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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OP he gets those jobs - front desk clerk/manager etc.. but the overnight shifts [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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that is my point . if he was performing well he would be promoted [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:21 AM Flag
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So many people come to UB and ask " how can DH get this job " but really the larger issue is can DH consistently perform? cause in the new economy men who can not consistently perform do not keep their jobs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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Well, women either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:16 AM Flag
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OP he's not losing jobs he just was a fine artist when I unexpectedly became pregnant and started just picking up random jobs in retail etc.. but the hours are grueling and the pay is horrible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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Have you thought about aborting DH? He's just a clump of cells and even if he's not he has no right to inconvenience you! Your body, your choice! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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oh great a religious freak [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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Can't you recognize satire, dimwit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:38 AM Flag
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Np. It wasn't very good satire. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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Keep trollin' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:43 AM Flag
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the issue is, how good a performer is your husband? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:22 AM Flag
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OP idk I'm not there with him but I know he is a hard worker and very dedicated -he takes all of his projects/tasks seriously. If anything I would say he's just passive by nature and due to this career/financial situation has low confidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:26 AM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:27 AM Flag
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Maybe look into government jobs. Are you in nyc? See what tests are being offered. I might suggest "staff analyst" whenever it comes up next. Not great jobs but there are some decent positions. Probably more secure than waiting and retail. Can be kind of soul sucking, but hey, what isn't? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:40 AM Flag
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This is good advice. It is almost impossible to get fired from a government job. Especially the VA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Have you ever known someone from the Middle East who was also part European? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:01 AM Flag
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Cannot think of many people who are mixed because middle easterners usually marry within their cultural groups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
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Why not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:05 AM Flag
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Actually, Arabs travelled to Eastern Europe and enslaved millions of Eastern Europeans and brought them to Arab countries. that is why you see so many white looking Arabs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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the term " Slav" is derived from slave since so many of these whites were enslaved [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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Yes, several friends. One Lebanese/French, another Uae/German, and some others [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:20 AM Flag
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Know several Lebanese/French couples, morrocan/European, and Turkish/Syrian [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:28 AM Flag
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Shakira is part Middle Eastern and part Colombian. Yes, I'm aware Colombia is not in Europe, but she's an example of a MIddle Eastern having dc outside his race. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:30 AM Flag
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Yes. Many. Lots of Iranians moved to Germany after the revolution so their children were German Iranians. Also, French Moroccans is soooo common . Plus Tunisian Moroccan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:34 AM Flag
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^^ oh, and Italians... Italian Lebanese and Italian Iranian. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:35 AM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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Yes. Lebanese/French friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:54 AM Flag
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Also have a Palestinian/English friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:55 AM Flag
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And come to think of it, another who is Syrian/Irish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Extremely common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:57 AM Flag
[ - ] My ex has had my dc for 16 days tomorrow. This was his text to me just now (2 hours later than he is allowed to communicate): Stop being petty about 30 minutes. You are late all the time. This was after I reminded him of my pick up time, which he always pretends is 30 minutes later. So actually we are talking an hour. And I am sometimes 10 minutes late, he is ROUTINELY 1.5 hours late. He is also changing up the pick up place. So I have to wait around an hour past my pick up time and drive to some texted location. You just had my kid for over two weeks. A hole. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
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It does sound annoying, but she is his kid too. If he is consistently violating the agreement, take it back to the lawyers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:02 AM Flag
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This. My ex was always late (hours). Now if he is more than 15 minutes late picking them up, I can cancel the visit. Doesn't help with drop off, but it's something. Hang in there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:06 AM Flag
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OP - mine is usually early picking up and tries to bully me into coming in the middle of the day if it is a school holiday. Benefits of having no job to speak of I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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OP - mine is usually early picking up and tries to bully me into coming in the middle of the day if it is a school holiday. Benefits of having no job to speak of I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:24 AM Flag
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I have consulted a lawyer about these stunts. They really are stunts designed to punish me, including arranging his summer weeks together in such a way that they are sandwiched between two weekends that are his so he has a 6 year old for 16 days and mostly leaves him with family members (which my son enjoys than god for small favors). Attorney advised not to open the case up over stuff like this because I already have sole custody. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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Calm down. It is his kid too. How old is the child? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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Six. See above. I have SOLE custody. Sorry I am tired of everyone assuming all things are equal. They're not. This is the only time of the year he gets a little power to lord over and true to form, he does it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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So he gets to see his child once a year and you're bitching?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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Where did I say that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:19 AM Flag
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How/why dis you get sole custody? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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He did not want a baby and took off for most of my pregnancy and the first year traveling and finding himself and deciding whether he was ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:23 AM Flag
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So why did you get pregnant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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Any relevant questions or responses that can be applied to the present problem in 2015? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:38 AM Flag
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When did you divorce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:56 AM Flag
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Single mom here who has had to deal with a difficult ex. Are you documenting everything? Is there a court order in place? If he keeps violating it, you should be able to drag him back into court and present your records. It's a power move, on his part. How old is dc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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I am mostly mad at myself, because if I really wanted to put him in his place (which he needs someone to do - everyone is afraid of him, including me) I'd say sorry, that's not convenient. If you can't be at the appointed place at the appointed time, you can bring him to my house yourself (which is 40 minutes away). However, I don;t have it in me to have World War III. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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Oh. Well that's why he keeps doing it. He knows you won't do anything about it. I guess you have to choose your battles. But I think he's just going to become increasingly brazen if you don't make some boundaries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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It's been a long time dealing with someone whose hatred for me has no bottom. I don;t know why I expect civility or even maybe a little kindness. There are a lot of fathers who would not exercise such a long visit with such a young child. He relishes doing this to me. That is what I was basically venting about here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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I get a dismissive test "We have plans" when all I am doing is try to pick up at my appointed time. I am so f'ing sick of this business. I don;t know why I think he should be sensitive of the fact that I have MISSED my child! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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You don't think he does too? Wtf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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Not really, no. He rarely calls between visits and only originally asked for a weekend a month. He goes through self righteous spurts, but basically he can't be bothered. He also took me to court to try and wipe out 6 months of CS arrears, which because he lied on his financial affidavit was minimal at best. Are you a man? Maybe you should stop assuming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:18 AM Flag
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You sound unhinged. Poor guy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:33 AM Flag
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Stop being late yourself and then come back to complain. He had his kid for over two weeks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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I said he SAYSI am late. I am not late and am usually early. There have been rare occasions where I was late because there was an accident. NYC traffic on Fridays is HELL. And like I said he is the one routinely over an hour late. He blatantly lies as i he is fabricating a case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Bruce Jenner and Obama made love in the White house but Obama said Jenner's queefs tasted like "gross-ass medicine" from all the hormones he's taking! Furthermore, he claimed that this taught him to appreciate Michelle's "healthy" carrot queefs! Bruce Jenner was so upset he had to get Kanye to sing him a rap song to make him feel better! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:58 AM Flag
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Man that guy is sick! He thinks it's hot to have fake boobs but when he has to do a real woman thing like keep his queefs meaty and appetizing he breaks down! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
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+1 He has no desire to be a real woman and deal with this stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:01 AM Flag
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He's only in it for the fake boobs and the intense self-love sessions! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:02 AM Flag
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+1 He wants to motorboat himself! Look for him to try to get someone to clone himself soon! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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That's right, his ultimate dream is to boink himself. I think he married Kris Jenner because she looked like him when he was younger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:05 AM Flag
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I think you have a typo. The "h" should be capitalized as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:03 AM Flag
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Thanks, I was so eager to break the news I didn't proofread! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
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Omg lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:23 AM Flag
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Are you 14? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Is root canal treatment painful? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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I had two. Novocaine. The painful/discomfort was wearing that rubber thing that keeps your tooth isolated and keeping your mouth open so long. Other than that it was fine, and I'm the biggest baby when it comes to pain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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You get numb. It's just a pita to keep your mouth open that wide that long [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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not is you ask for nitrous. It's awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
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It hurts a lot less than an abscessed tooth. It was a huge relief to get mine. Once the drugs wear off it's sore, but manageable with Tylenol. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:30 AM Flag
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Gos this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:34 AM Flag
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I had no idea that root canals were this common. I made it 56 years without one and no one in my family has had one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Am I selfish? I spent years trying to teach my kids some stuff (granted, some things we do only rarely, but still) and I just don't want to do it anymore. I feel like I taught myself much more independently. My mom taught me to swim, but I practiced a lot in the pool by myself when I was 5, for example. Now, I just want to put the kids in classes. I went ice skating today and DCs keep dragging my arms down, holding on to me. It hurts and is exhausting. I just want to skate by myself for a few minutes, but then they start whining. 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:51 AM Flag
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Why did you have kids? This is a pretty basic part of having kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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I love them, but my arms hurt so badly after skating for an hour. It's not fun when someone drags you down the whole time. I want them to learn this already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:56 AM Flag
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Not until the past 10 yrs! She's not saying she never wants to help her kids, just that she wants a few minutes here and there NOT to be actively helping them. Kids will never learn resilience, independence, self-sufficiency if someone is always holding their hands [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:56 AM Flag
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OP. Older DC is 7 and I think at 7 you need to skate without holding on to mom. It's actually harder to hold on to someone and it's not that much fun. Plus - did I mention that my arms hurt?!? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:58 AM Flag
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Has he actually learned to skate though? Age has nothing to do with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
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They have to be taught basic skills though. OP admits that she is a shitty teacher (which is not a slur on her, not everyone can teach well) and apparently she has been the only one teaching these kids to swim, skate, whatever. So of course they're not self sufficient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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When our parents had kids, they didn't do any of this stuff. In the 70's I was left alone for weeks while my parents went on vacation (I was like 15). Now, that is unheard of. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
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OP. When I was an older teenager, I also stayed home alone while parents went on vacation. This was in the nineties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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'70's parents were pretty negligent, honestly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:10 AM Flag
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No, it's really not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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No--you wanted time to enjoy something. No harm in "outsourcing" this. Once they get the hang of a sport/skill you can all enjoy together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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You sound fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:54 AM Flag
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You likely have a distorted view of your own childhood competence and independence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:57 AM Flag
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Lol. Maybe my mom is just kind and doesn't tell me I sucked at skating. She did get me lessons on skating though because she hates doing it and has given up completely about 30 years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:59 AM Flag
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So what is your hesitation with getting classes for your kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:00 AM Flag
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I feel selfish now. The reason why I am putting them in classes is mostly so that I don't have to teach them anymore.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:02 AM Flag
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Ok, but if you are just not a very good teacher - and it sounds like you aren't, you just don't have the patience - then they are better off learning from somebody else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:04 AM Flag
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OP. I am an awful teacher! I have no patience - if I had any patience I would have become a school teacher just for the vacations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:08 AM Flag
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So classes then. It is fine. You don't have to be good at everything. Like above poster said, once they learn the basics from someone who can properly teach them, you will all enjoy these things more together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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np: It does not always work for the parent to be the teacher. It's a different dynamic, some kids do better learning from an adult they are neutral about. As long as you do things with them on a regular basis, you don't have to teach them everything yourself. And really, only an egomaniac would think they are qualified to teach everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:14 AM Flag
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You don't have to teach them anything, you are a good parent if they learn how to do what they need in life (be it driving a bus or astrophysics) however it is they learn that, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:50 AM Flag
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Same here. DCs are more anxious than DH or me. Outsource all this or they will drive you crazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:59 AM Flag
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If your mom was leaving you by yourself in a pool at five, she was a shitty parent. This should not be your example! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:05 AM Flag
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Come on. Get over yourself. She was sitting right next to the pool in an armchair. And the pool was shallow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:07 AM Flag
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Ok, well you didn't say that. You said you were by yourself. And you seem to have a gross fixation on children being "independent" in dangerous situations like skating rinks, so who knew where you were coming from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:09 AM Flag
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NP--An ice skating rink isn't that dangerous. I've seen plenty of parents sitting on the sidelines while their children ice skate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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It's fine if you know what you are doing. The difference here is that OPs kids apparently cannot skate. They have not been taught and are scared to let go of her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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Ok, so my mom is shitty and I am gross. Remember, what Paul says about Peter says more about Paul than about Peter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:11 AM Flag
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I said IF she left you by yourself she was a shitty parent. You have now clarified that she didn't, so no, she wasn't. And I didn't call you gross either, I said one particular attitude of yours is gross. Learn to read a little more carefully, Peter hon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:15 AM Flag
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Ok .... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:17 AM Flag
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Yeah ok, I'm sure you're the bestest parent on the planet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:12 AM Flag
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I knew how to swim - well - by 5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:13 AM Flag
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I knew how to swim - well - by 5. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:13 AM Flag
[ - ] I wish I hung out with more Korean moms. When it comes to sun coverage, they know what's up! I take my two dds to our community pool a lot, and while they all put tons of sunscreen on their kids, the moms I know still want to tan. Meanwhile I am super prone to sunburn, and it even wear a brimmed hat in the pool. My friends make fun of me for it! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:46 AM Flag
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I'm not korean but I'm anti tanning/sun. I wear a hat everywhere in the summer and wear sunscreen. If I know there is going to be zero shade I bring an umbrella. I see lots of this in NYC. Who tans anymore other than sorority chicks, fly overs and 40+? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:52 AM Flag
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I'm over 40 and look better with a tan. I have olive skin. I just look better tanned in the summer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:26 AM Flag
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And you look worse with your wrinkles and sun spots in the winter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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exactly. more ppl 30 and under are educated about the aging effects of UV rays and are marketed products with sunscreen and all of their popular culture/fashion sites are about sun avoidance. Tanning is more acceptable among the older generation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:39 AM Flag
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Eh, I am in my 50s. We knew all about the dangers of tanning back then. Good thing I listened to mother and stayed out of the sun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:07 AM Flag
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Koreans are seriously into skincare and it shows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:03 AM Flag
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agreed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 04:15 AM Flag
[ - ] looking to buy a new car. CRV vs audi q5 vs bmw x3. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:44 AM Flag
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get a el camino [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:55 AM Flag
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The front is like a car, the back is like a truck, the front is where we park, the back is where we... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 02:59 AM Flag
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I hate the bmw interface for GPS, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:37 AM Flag
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i would get the mercedes equivalent of the x3. bmws are so finely calibrated for performance that they seem to have more issues breaking down, etc., than benzos. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.02.15, 03:49 AM Flag
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