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[ - ] What's the nicest party favor you've ever received? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:01 AM Flag
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A great hug and a thank you for coming. I don't like material gifts. It is a huge waste of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:06 AM Flag
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Not a party favor persay, but I went to a conference and they sent everyone home with henri bendel travel sets (laundry bag, shoe bag, and lingerie bag) and a digital photo frame with a thumb drive with some materials on it. very cool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] What kinds of things does your DH do to make you feel cared for? I'm not talking about sweeping romantic gestures, just the day-to-day things that make you feel good? Examples might be kissing you goodbye when he leaves for work every day, or making your coffee and bringing it to you in the morning. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:38 AM Flag
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The kissing goodbye before work is a big one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:06 AM Flag
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i got damn sick this summer. i never believed he really gave a crap about anyone's health but his own (and making sure i'm around to raise dcs is prob a part of it), but he really did a whole lot of research to assure himself and me that i can be cured. was willing to drop EVERYTHING if i wanted to fly off to europe to be treated. it meant a lot and my our marriage better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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Making the bed every morning. Vacuuming. Cleaning the bathroom. Doing the laundry. Taking over with the kids when he gets home from work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:38 AM Flag
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He rubs my back to wake me up in the morning, lets me have the shower first, and starts the coffee. Also, usually some morning fooling around. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:57 AM Flag
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He's mostly a SAHD and I have to leave for work at 5:30 each morning. He gets up and makes me a cappuccino and talks with me before I leave each day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:04 AM Flag
[ - ] I am leaving an abusive DH, with my toddler DD, Columbus weekend when he will be away. We have a new apartment in NYC for mid-December and I have daycare ready. For the meantime, we will stay in an extended stay hotel in Westchester near friends of mine. I will pay that weekly with cash, I've already set up a google voice number and moved all of my personal billing to it and a ups box near our new apartment which I've been moving personal billing to as well. I am very slowly over the next weeks moving possessions to a storage unit near the hotel. I am only taking clothing, toys and photo albums in this move; furniture wise I will begin from scratch. What else should I be doing now to slowly break ties, so when we leave, we leave and I never need to return to the house for anything? DH will be served papers the Tuesday after we have left. TIA 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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so he will be totally shocked? maybe airbnb will be cheaper? no chance at recon, huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:16 AM Flag
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OP: He hits me. He drinks. I have tried everything I can think of for four years. I am paying a bit more for hotel so I can have better cash flow and pay weekly, versus thousands up front for hotel. I don't think he'll be shocked as he knows he is breaking down, yet won't do anything about it. This kills me, but I need to protect our child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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OP: oops meant thousands up front for airbnb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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you know, you can ask airbnb guys to work with you. they usually do. good luck, op. i feel for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:38 AM Flag
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there are actually really decently priced airbnb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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You go girl. Signed DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:36 AM Flag
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If I were you i would consult a lawyer in advance to make sure you take everything necessary. Good luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you. I consulted one but he is more about the legal logistics and now I am thinking from a Mom point of view, not wanting to forget to prepare things that will keep my child comfortable in a strange environment for two months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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Take her bedding, 2sets of sheets , blankie, pillow. That way new bed will not seem so different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:36 AM Flag
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Lawyer and court social worker. They do safety planning. Glad you have the strength to leave, but this is a dangerous time for DV victim. Best of luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:22 AM Flag
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No advice but wishing you the best of luck! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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This must be so scary for you, but it sound like you are doing the best thing for you and your daughter. Keep us posted please. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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I am impressed by your planning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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OP: It is the only way I can get through the fear of it, knowing I have my bases covered, so the actual exit can be quick and smooth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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Will he pursue you? Is he the type of crazy guy who will try to find you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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OP: No, he will come home late Monday night, see the note, likely be mad and will be served in the morning. He wouldn't know where to begin to find me even if he wanted, because I am making sure to do things in a way he cant track. The attorney will manage it carefully. Also he loves to keep up appearances, only abuses me behind closed doors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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1. SPEAK TO AN ATTORNEY. 2. If he knows he will be served, he will avoid the server. You need to serve him without him having a clue. Someoen stop him on the street and he stops to talk to them, If he knows what is coming he will nor respond or sign or take the paper. But talk to a lawyer. some judges come down hard on woman who tke the kid away and will punish you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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Do you have any large male relatives or friends who can go back to the apartment for you if necessary? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:38 AM Flag
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what about flash drives, USB, anything with digital info. on it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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Np- Ooh, this is a good one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:42 AM Flag
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You've probably thought of all this but any medicines you and DD might need, legal documents (SS card, birth certificates, etc) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:45 AM Flag
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^^ Chargers for your phone, laptop, ipad, etc! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:49 AM Flag
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^^ DDs favorite books and DVDs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:52 AM Flag
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Medical records from pediatrician , birth certificates, passports. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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I assume you are taking any of your valuable jewelry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:46 AM Flag
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I am so sorry. You really should seek out a women's advocacy group. Since you're a domestic abuse victim, there's a chance they could help provide housing until your apartment is available, or even help you pay for the hotel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:07 AM Flag
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Agreed. As another posted noted, this is a very dangerous time for a DV victim and it sounds like that's what you are. While you do sound prepared, you need to consult professionals who deal with this every day. It doesn't hurt to consult a social worker who works with DV issues, your local police department, an attorney who is knowledegebale in this area. Your husband may surprise you and respond more aggressively than you think, and if he doesn't have much to loose... Be extra careful on this one. Signed, former social worker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:16 AM Flag
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Agreed. As another posted noted, this is a very dangerous time for a DV victim and it sounds like that's what you are. While you do sound prepared, you need to consult professionals who deal with this every day. It doesn't hurt to consult a social worker who works with DV issues, your local police department, an attorney who is knowledegebale in this area. Your husband may surprise you and respond more aggressively than you think, and if he doesn't have much to loose... Be extra careful on this one. Signed, former social worker. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Just heard the craziest story. A mother at dc's school recently divorced her much older dh, now I found out that she eloped with her former step son this weekend! 37 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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omg, i think i know this mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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Does she live in the UES??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:21 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:10 AM Flag
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I would hope this story is rare enough that if you've heard it, you know who it is!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:25 AM Flag
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It's rare enough that my reaction was that the first post is pure fiction. One never knows.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:13 AM Flag
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another trashy moment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:09 AM Flag
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Isn't this identical to the Woody Allen situation? He married his step daughter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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Woody Allen was never married to Mia Farrow. Mia Farrow and Andre Previn adopted Soon-Yi Previn when they were married. So - NO - Soon Yi was not his step-daughter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:21 AM Flag
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Close enough.. Soon-Yi hated Mia and figured that the best way to hurt Mia was to steal her wealthy and successful boyfriend away from her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:38 AM Flag
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Except that Mia, for all of her playing the victim, had a child while she was with Woody, whom she claimed was her son with him. Then she later said, "oh, he's Frank Sinatra's son." And he looks EXACTLY like Frank Sinatra. Ronan Farrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:29 AM Flag
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OK so are you saying Mia Farrow deserved to have her daughter steal her boy friend? Is that what you are saying [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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I'm saying Mia was really big on playing the victim. But at the same time she had a child with another man, and told her then-boyfriend that the child was his. So, yes. She doesn't get my sympathy. She was also a liar and a cheat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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no, that isn't fs's. that's just her trying to fuck with woddy allen. he looks like his mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:48 AM Flag
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He looks a lot like Frank Sinatra and has not a single feature in common with Woody Allen. Not one. She cheated on her boyfriend Woody and then lied to him about being the father of the child. So whatever else this was, it was not a nuclear family that evil Woody broke up. Soon-Yi and Woody had barely spoken until six months or so before he began seeing her. So def not his step daughter, legally or emotionally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:01 AM Flag
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also, it's gross but a little less gross when it's a grown stepson versus 19 (16) yo stepdd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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Wait a minute, was Soon Yi sixteen when she started trying to steal her mom's boy friend? I thought she was 15. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Also, Soon Yi is slightly developmentally delayed so her mental age is about two years younger than her physical age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:42 AM Flag
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I saw Woody and Soon-Yi on my way to JoJo on Saturday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:48 AM Flag
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Soon Yi locked it down. Good for her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:36 AM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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but he's like her grandpa. yuck. and way to treat your mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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Soon Yi is actually quite intelligent. I have several friends who have been at dinner parties with her. They all say, she's smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:02 AM Flag
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keeping things in the family, i see [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:24 AM Flag
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It is very common for girls to want to compete with their mom by stealing a man away from mom. Usually this means teenage girls will flirt with their mom's boyfriend. But I have never heard of this happening with teenage boys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:37 AM Flag
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Tres Mrs. Robinson. But Ben wanted to marry Elaine, not her mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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I don't think it is comparable. Mrs. Robinson never really wanted to have sex with Dustin Hoffman, she just wanted to prevent her daughter from marrying Dustin. Mrs. Robinson just took one for the team, if you will [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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It's not wildly uncommon for the competition to run both ways, and for moms to flirt with their daughter's boyfriends. Actually doing something is rarer. And the step-son thing is a whole different ballgame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:41 AM Flag
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Did you see the movie Damage? Jeremy Irons thinks that his son's fiancee is hot, so Jeremy Irons schemes to steal her away from his own son. This is depraved [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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Jeremy Irons has kind of got "depraved" locked down, since he did that Von Bulow thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:59 AM Flag
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Reversal of Fortune. Great movie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:52 AM Flag
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Jeremy Irons was Humbert Humbert in Lolita, too. He thought his new wife's daughter was hot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:05 AM Flag
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uh, that's not my view of the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:32 AM Flag
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Anyone else a fan of the movie Ringmaster? In the movie, the daughter gets mad at her mom and in order to get revenge she has sex with the mom's boyfriend. Then the mom to get revenge has sex with the daughter's boyfriend. Good flick [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:34 AM Flag
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:] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:35 AM Flag
[ - ] What are the affordable areas of ues zoned for good publics? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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(crickets) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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^by affordable, I mean comparable to brownstone Brooklyn... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:18 AM Flag
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There is an incredible loophole where you can rent an apartment in PS six for one year, enroll DD in K there and then after a year move to a dirt cheap part of District two. DD gets to stay there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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I know two families that did this and they get the benefit of PS six education with very low rent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:41 AM Flag
[ - ] Have to be honest, I have been planning to move to NY with my family, from San Fran, and after spending time on here I am rethinking it, so much one upping, and superficiality and judgment that I'm doubting that I'd find cool, laid back moms in Manhattan. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:11 AM Flag
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You are right. All of us are here in Cobble Hill. Forget Manhattan and join us here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:00 AM Flag
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Plus one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:00 AM Flag
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Me too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:16 AM Flag
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ugh. I lived in Cobble Hill (Kane Street) for five years. The majority of people I met were materialistic Wall Street people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:26 AM Flag
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You sound too feeble for NY. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:12 AM Flag
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Oh stawp [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:15 AM Flag
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ITA and I have loved in both SF and NYC, are you one of those Noe Valley moms? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:06 AM Flag
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Are noe valley moms known to be weak and frail? Spill [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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Lol - feeble [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:23 AM Flag
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I had my first baby in SF, second in Silicon Valley. Have never experienced more competitive child-rearing in my life, or more self-righteous idiocy. Having also lived in NYC, I admit the the focus is different. NYC braggarts tend to focus solely on money, whereas in SV it's about whose kid is smartest (though everyone will know what a nice house in Woodside goes for). SF isn't any better than NYC in terms of getting into the "right" preschool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:19 AM Flag
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In my experience there's a ton of competition around schooling in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:23 AM Flag
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Blood bath for preschool and Private elementary school in Sf...BTDT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:13 AM Flag
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Ok. Bye. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:22 AM Flag
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Its not really like this board. I love my Manhattan mom friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:28 AM Flag
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Compared to San Francisco? I don't think there's more one-upping, etc., though the rules (e.g. what counts as "up") are a bit different. If you want cool and laid back, stay out of San Francisco and Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:31 AM Flag
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This is true. We laugh at both of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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Plan an extended visit, do the things you would do if you lived here. Kid classes, playground, gym. There are many small communities in this city and each is different. And this board is not a valid reflection of the entire city. It's often a dumping ground for frustrated moms or an escape from the daily grind of husband, kids, work, etc. But SF is really an amazing city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:40 AM Flag
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NYC is about competitive mothering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:17 AM Flag
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NYC is about competitive mothering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:17 AM Flag
[ - ] When did your child really start talking? (more than a few words or two word phrases) 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:08 AM Flag
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your kid is prob plenty smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 02:58 AM Flag
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OP: Actually my dd is almost two and has barely ten words. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:12 AM Flag
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is she bilingual? they speak later. but your being on ub, prob puts her at good odds for being plenty smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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That's a myth [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:39 AM Flag
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really? seemed to be true for us. but i don't have much for comparison, do i? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:33 AM Flag
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My first talks up a storm by 14 months. Second dd had maybe 15 words until a month before her second birthday. Now she's 2.25 and talking in paragraphs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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^^ oh, she was also raised bilingual. But older dd was as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:21 AM Flag
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Same with mine and very chatty at three and three months. I read replies on UB that said it will all work out, but it doesn't hurt to get some enrichment . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:44 AM Flag
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probably 18 - 20 months, and really talking at 2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:19 AM Flag
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My DS stared talking in more complex sentences at 2.5. I was panicked when he was 2 and only uttering 2 word phrases. I wish Ihad a more relaxed approach to it. As long as you are seeing progress, don't stress about it too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:20 AM Flag
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Dd was a late talker and did speech therapy. We did all this evaluation and intervention and the final diagnosis? "She's just a late talker." Now she never stops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:11 AM Flag
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For many kids, I'm sure EI/speech therapy/etc is a great help. To me it seems like a crock of shit. Just finished a year of it and every therapist I encountered semed clueless and not intelligent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:25 AM Flag
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OP: When did she finally really start? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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^ I agree. We're in EI and I really don't understand what the benefit is. All the exercises she does with the therapist we were doing at home already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:16 AM Flag
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Einstein didn't speak until he was 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:30 AM Flag
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Einstein was developmentally delayed... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:15 AM Flag
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One at one and the other at two and a half. Both in HS now. Both speaking quite well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:50 AM Flag
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six months she could handle basic words and connect them with meaning. by one she could converse like a three year old and sing ba ba black sheep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 04:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else travel for work frequently or has a spouse who does? I FaceTime most nights and read to DCs. I still miss them. How do your or your spouse stay in connect while traveling? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:03 AM Flag
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face time is critical! i travel a lot for work and FaceTime every evening before bedtime. i read stories and just chat with dh and the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:17 AM Flag
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Thanks. It does not seem enough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.14, 03:14 AM Flag
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