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[ - ] Has anyone heard from Dalton to lock in a spot for kindergarten admission? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.24.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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We’re in! But don’t worry- limited probability we will accept. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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congrats, your DC was always tops in my mind so no surprise! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Help? Sunday I had liquid bowels. Monday Tuesday sticky paste like. Today goose poop, and I also vomited. What should I be eating? Not eating? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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Eat rice or rice porridge. Clear liquids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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Too gross to respond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Just curious, how old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Nanny question. She’s paid hourly. Once per week, I get home an hour early, and let nanny go home early so I can hang with DC. Also once per week, I run about 15 min late getting home from work. I never know which says these might be. So does this even out, or do I need to pay for the extra time when I’m late? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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*which days [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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If you tell her that is how it will work, then no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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Legally aren't you require to give her written proof of her hours every pay period? Why wouldn't you do that in both of these instances? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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You legally only have to pay her for time worked. If you want to keep her happy, pay her for that hour and the OT. Former nanny here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Should be fine, but have the discussion upfront so you're both on the same page. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Former nanny here (also) it should be a wash as you are paying her for an hour she does not work, just explain it to her so you are all on the same page about it. It would be miserly of her to ask for 15 minutes pay and I am sure she loves the day when she goes home early. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:43 AM Flag
[ - ] I feel bad for bringing 10 yo dc in the world knowing my own struggles with depression. That was incredibly selfish of me and I feel I have ruined his life. Also feel guilty about fantasizing about suicide when I know I can't possibly do that to him. I am on meds already and therapy has not helped. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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The first success here is realizing your issues. Kid will be better because of this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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How does that help him? I am usually withdrawn and just trying to do my duty towards him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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True! Think of all the crappy parents who think they are doing a bang-up job... and think how lucky you are to have this light in your life, your child. I also am very depressed, have a diagnosis, but now off meds. I am very depressed most days and try not to let the kids see it. It is really hard. I have the same fears as you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Why on earth are you off meds? Please consider trying different ones or a higher dose. You shouldn't live like this. There's no reason to try to "tough it out" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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OR: thank you! My DD is well aware of my flaws but I think it makes her more empathetic to others. She knows I'm not perfect, which in turn will help her understand that we all have issues. It's okay to have issues, including mental health problems. It normalizes mental health problems, which is a medical health problem. I'm lucky to have parents who see it this way and I'm forever grateful for their support. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Continued: sorry my post didn't make sense and/or was all over the place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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You brought a child into this world, now be the best parent you can. If you struggle, get help and show your dc how much they mean to you. He is ten and has a lot of childhood left, please be mindfull of that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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There is no help out there. I see a shrink who adjusts meds but its just a bandaid [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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Try a different shrink and hang in there. It's clear you care and want a change, it's just a matter of how it's going to happen. I'm rooting for you OP! you will get through this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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Every sentence you wrote is the depression talking. No logic to be found here right now. It's telling you this story and you are believing it because you have no other option right now. Sounds like you need to change your medication regime to something that will help more -- either add something to your cocktail or up your dose. Also look into other treatments. There's something with magnets--TMS I think?-- and something else with ketamine. Don't let depression talk you out of dealing with this and aggressively pursuing treatments to get yourself well. Hugs to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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Its been adjusted so many times shrink says he is running out of options. I will look into alternate treatments [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Have you tried hardcore cardio? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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I do yoga/breathing exercises daily. helps a little [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Time for a new therapist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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What's the underlying issue? Is it your current life situation, work,etc? Childhood traumas? Or do you just feel like it's a chemical imbalance that no med can fix? I am very depressed as well, on 150mg Wellbutrin daily. I get it. Its a daily struggle, but cjanging some situational issues can help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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Lots of issues in life. PTSD from childhood and other traumas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:19 AM Flag
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Are you able to change or improve anything that bothers you in your life right now? I had PTSD from childhood traumas as well and had to change therapist a few times until I found one who really got me. Also I read lots of books about the subject and did my own work to regain my power, through journaling, support groups, etc. Don't give up fighting. It took me so long to get over those childhood issues. I feel finally past them for the most part. It took a very long time. Now working on dealing with every day life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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Been trying to change my life and failing at every turn. Its too much of a struggle some days. Only so many sick days I can take crying in bed :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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Aren't therapists supposed to be trained to deal with all types of people?? Why would you need to find one who "gets" you? I think that profession is a crock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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Please try again with a different therapist rather than seek advice here. You need help stat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:11 AM Flag
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i read an article at some point written by a mom with depression that talked about how she was open with her kids about it. I hope you don't try too hard to completely hide it. I think it might be valuable for dc to know that you have an illness and you try hard to treat it but it's challenging and nothing to do with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:18 AM Flag
[ - ] HHI and where do you live? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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~$480k, Silicon Valley [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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$130K, San Diego County (Poway). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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oh man, tough place! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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$750K UWS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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160k Michigan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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450, mid Missouri [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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Why do people do this? To make themselves feel better? worse? One of the oddest things on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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It's really sick, I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:52 AM Flag
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$850K SF [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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500k, LA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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1.4M UWS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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$7.2 million, Brooklyn heights [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:19 AM Flag
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220K NYC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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Yikes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Once a child is accepted to a high school, will they allow them to have a shadow day there? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 01.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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What's a shadow day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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To add, one of our high school applicants allow the kid to come in for a day to experience the school. Is that what you're talking about...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Exactly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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Thanks! We don't call it that. I think they call it Buddy Day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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So do schools allow, encourage etc? Which schools do...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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I doubt you would be interested in the school because it's not TT and it's in Brooklyn. Not saying this to be dismissive, just saying that's it's the UB reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Not interested in TT schools. I'm not a UB regular. Just on fact finding mission. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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Where are you? I can only speak for my limited personal experiences, not generally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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Spend a day at the school to see what it's like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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A revisit day? The private schools all do. Many of the public high schools will have evening or weekend open houses (I know SHS & LAG did). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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I meant private schools. So they all allow this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Yes. Invitations will be sent with acceptances (or within a day or so after). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Don’t really like my job. Pay is ok. We are on my benefits. Boss is lovely. Flexibility is fair. Stay or go? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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what are your other options? do you have another job or just want to stay home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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Staying home not an option. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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What are your options to go? Another job lined up? What industry? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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No other job, finance - afraid to ask for more money as more and more people my age with high salaries are being let go or their functions are being moved out of NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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Every job sucks in its own special way. I've had jobs for the money only and other positions where I get verklempt. You weigh the advantages against disadvantages. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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"Every job sucks in its own special way." This is sad but true. Going through something similar except I left my previous job because the work environment wasn't great and I laced advancement opportunities. Now I have a new job that pays me more than I ever imagined I'd make, but my commute sucks. (sigh) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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OP: my commute just doubled with this job (office moved locations) but still manageable. I won’t travel any further though. If we move again I’m quitting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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OR: yes. I mean, I'd like the perfect situation but so far this long life hasn't offered it. I think it gets better as you get older and more experienced. More choices and more room to get what you want. That said, it's still work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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How much do you make? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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It doesn't hurt to explore your options. Have you looked at what's out there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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Am currently looking. No bites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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How long have you been looking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Stay. A good boss matters the most [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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+1. I have a nick picky overly negative boss. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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+100000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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This is me. Great benefits, 28 vacation days and make $100k + flexibility. I’m staying for now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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It sounds like a good deal overall but it never hurts to look - sometimes a better deal can be found. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Why not keep looking? Life is short, don't settle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Need some advice. We are traveling to India and I would like to know would you prefer a direct flight of 16 hours or connecting flights with a 2 out layover and trip split into (2) 7 hour 30 minute flight. Traveling with kids Thanks 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Tough one. Curious what others will say. I did the flight from LA, had one quick layover in tokyo, and then a night layover in Singapore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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I would prefer an overnight 16 hr flight. 7 hours and 30 minutes is still super long and when they finally think it's over they will have to do it again for the second leg of the trip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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I’d prefer the direct. 1) Fewer moving parts so you don’t have to stress if your first flight is delayed. 2) My kid and I both sleep great on flights and could knock out a solid eight hours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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definitely direct flight. We go to Algiers routinely and its a 7 hour flight to Paris and then layover then 2 more hours to Algiers and the layover is the worst! It adds a ton of time to traveling, you have to drag all the kids and carry on stuff around the airport. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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We used to do direct but both Air India and United have gotten so bad recently that we have started taking a stopover in Asia. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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OP; Thank you, we are flying business and our options are business non stop air India or Lufthansa business connecting? Thoughts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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I would do Lufthansa connecting. Gave up on Air India a few years ago - the service can be great but... How old are your DC? For us my dc would sleep the overnight leg and then maybe snooze s not but needed some entertainment on the second leg. There will be some jet lag -Air India timings are better for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Direct, no question. Unless I was going to stop somewhere for a couple days and then continue on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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DF has family in India and goes every year. She did the 2 flight/layover in Paris exactly once and swore never again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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What you want is a non-stop flight. A direct flight has a stop but you don't get off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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Flew to Australia last year and the non-stop was great, I actually slept. Having to deplane and wait around in an airport jet lagged sounds awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Why is this even a question. You take the non-stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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YUCK!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:12 AM Flag
[ - ] That was a joke, right? It's not really only $3k a month for a large two bedroom uptown 100-125th street, big rental, lots of light, normal sized kitchen. Right? Lawdy, I need to move to NYC to save money if this is true. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Sound like a bait and switch ad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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Someone on here said that's what she was looking for and how much she wanted to spend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Well, a 2 bedroom in Ridgewood, Queens where my nanny lives is now $2800 so I am assuming 3k in Manhattan is a scam. I used to pay $1300 for a one bedroom in Washington Heights 11 years ago and I remember even back then Harlem was like double the price. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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denial just ain't a river in Egypt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Impossible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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definitely believable if its east 120th street or something. that area sucks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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Could be in one of those renovated housing project areas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:47 AM Flag
[ - ] I realized today my stomach starts under my bra cups where I used to have ribs. Such a stress belly and I feel like crap. I posted before about being 134 and 5’4. Post menopausal and so fat and stressed and unhappy despite making more $$ than ever last year. I have never been fat like this. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Postmenopausal at 46! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Can you hire a trainer? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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No time but I really need to. Also achy all over and worry I am prediabetic. This is all stress. I eat very little but badly. For instance my lunch might be a yogurt and a bag of nuts, power bar or cafeteria sandwich. This can’t be what’s making me fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Maybe check your thyroid levels? You can get an elliptical and a few weights and just hire trainer to motivate you to do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Thanks. My friend who is hyperthyroid suggests this. My blood work last physical was normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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My day is like constantly putting out fires and running here and there. No time for thoughtful concentration or to do anything right. I hate my job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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What do you do? Mine is similar at mid-career (middle manager at arts nonprofit). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Middle manager, academic student services. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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I used to work in nonprofits! Same disorganized feeling. I might go in tomorrow and be asked to drop everything and write a proposal or justification of some sort. Then I’ll have a tenured employee send a diatribe on how something is a crisis and not being done right and my deans will be cc’d. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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That is not actually fat for 134. Maybe you are out of shape but give me a break on 'fat'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Okay, well unhealthy for my bone structure, which is small. Size 6 pants will not button bra bands tight. I am carrying it all in my middle and on my upper arms and back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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Um, so wear an 8. No one cares. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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The number doesn’t mean much. I have the same stats but am a toned and athletic size 4. Small waist too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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ha ha.. I'm 150 and 5'2" and have some belly. Yes! I'm alive. Not dead. Like some people my age who succumbed to cancer and left families behind. I can stand 8 hours on my feet doing my job which is physical. Who tf cares what my scale says????? I used to be 120 and that was great. I'm older now and more experienced in life. It's great! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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So do my fitness pal, weight watchers, or Whole 30 and slowly lose 5-7 pounds and watch as everything magically fits again. You don't need to go into crisis mode over a few pounds. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I need to do this!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:23 AM Flag
[ - ] any opinion on the trend in SAT subject tests? DC wants to take one this spring, but am thinking that they are on the way out. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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they are except for top schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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^^there's like 9 schools that require them. that's it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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what about for STEM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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np. when they say "Recommended" they really mean required unless you have some extenuating circumstances. If you don't submit them to those schools, you should note why in the extra space for that on the common app. this is what we were told on two tours last year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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Ask your college counselor. It can't hurt and you don't have to submit them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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DC doesnt get a college counselor for 2 more years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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The only school that require 3 now is Georgetown. If dc is not interested in that, take 2. Make one Math 2 and the other humanities if a humanities kid or hard science like physics or chem if you think engineering is in their future. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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No downside in taking one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:05 AM Flag
[ - ] What do I do about my obese dh who seems depressed? Symptoms: wakes up to go to work at 4am even though he could get up at 5:30. Sleeping by 9pm. Eats junk food for breakfast,lunch and occasionally stops at fast food before coming home for dinner. His life revolves around food and if I don't play along on weekends he gets frustrated. Very little interest in sex. Seems happy on weekends when we go out and spend all our time together. He also smokes. Help. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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Life insurance [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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If you can get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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He won't be able to get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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You married a smoker? Sorry but this guy is not motivated to be healthy. React accordingly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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Op: what does that mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:06 AM Flag
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It means that he is not motivated to be healthy like you are. You cannot change him. A smoker? Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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np: i married an (occasional) smoker and he quit for good after we had kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:27 AM Flag
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Lucky. Smokers have incredibly poor impulse control and judgment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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Op: I tend to agree. My father smokes as well. It's so bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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what does he say? that is good that he is happy when you are spending time together on weekends, that doesn't sound like depression as much as he may be feeling stressed or anxious at work ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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Op: He doesn't think there's anything wrong. Claims he's just tired, has long commutes work stress, etc. All that is true, but his coping mechanism is so bad I am worried for his life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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can you just say that? My BIL is a big guy too and used to be able to eat whatever he wanted. it sucks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Op: He just laughs and says I'm dramatic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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Was he always this way or is this recent? I would start with not keeping junk food in the house. My husband is overweight, and he'll snack on cookies, chips, bagels, etc. if they are in the house. Instead, I always have freshly washed fruit in the front of the fridge and healthy meals he can just zap in the microwave. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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Op: He was always big but he's 6'4 so was able to hide it. Now he hit 40 and just blew up. I don't have any junk food in the house, I don't drink soda or juices, don't like fried foods, or smoke. He spends a fortune on food outside (breakfast, lunch and like I said sometimes dinner). The other day I found a bag filled with snacks downstairs that he bought somewhere and was hiding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Poor guy. My DH was the same, and it is a struggle for him. I often find empty bags of chips in the car. You can't do anything, really, other than being supportive of any attempt he makes to be healthier. He doesn't sound depressed so much as addicted to junk foods. My DH does, however, walk our dogs 3 miles a day, so that's something. Exercise won't erase a crap diet, but maybe if you can take an after dinner walk with him just for couples' time and to destress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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This sounds like a good idea for spring Thanks for that. Every little thing helps! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:25 AM Flag
[ - ] If you were moving to the Detroit area (job downtown), where would you live? Anyone know anything about the area? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Ann Arbor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Would be good, but don't want to do that drive on a daily basis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Grosse Pointe Michigan [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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Grosse Pointe Mom that works downtown here to help! DCs? Ages? Both parents working and working downtown or one at home? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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Sorry, I had to help someone with homework! 14 and 16. Both parents working downtown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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Public HS needed. Budget a little light-- 250-300k. Did I mention we are public servant types. Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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Grosse Pointe Shores [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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Nicest town [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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GP mom from above - I wouldn’t consider it a town, but it has some beautiful homes, especially on the water. I’m waiting for OP to give me info on DCs before I make a recommendation (and budget). Unless they are doing private though I wouldn’t recommend GPS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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I grew up there and thought it was idyllic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Bloomfield Hills/Birmingham is nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:10 AM Flag
[ - ] Do any of you know adults who have been completely ruined simply because of their success in school? I feel like I'm a crazy person because I don't really care that much about my kid getting into the best possible school so they can get the best possible job so they can make the most possible amount of money so they can, maybe, be happy and content. I grew up in the most solidly MC area you can imagine, and I no one I know went to a great school. I know a lot of people who went to completely mediocre fourth tier schools, and people who failed out of mediocre fourth tier schools, and many people who never went to college at all. And none of them are living under a bridge eating out of dumpsters. It seems like everyone has figured their shit out and is living a life just as happy and content as anyone making 20X what they make. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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I am the same way, as are the majority of my peer group. hat being said, if you are Gen X like me, we come from one of the smallest generations! Today's kids are dealing with a world that is more flat, and their numbers are much larger than ours! Add to that a crazy increase in both college and housing costs, and it's not hard to understand the anxiety many parents feel about their kids launching successfully. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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So maybe I'm wrong and I should be pushing a lot more? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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It's a hard balance. I know I graduated college during an economic downturn, but still managed to get an entry level job, and work my way up in a stable, corporate environment. Shared an apartment with a roommate while make 22K and still had enough money to go out. I'm not sure those opportunities will exist for our dc. I'm not pushing for HYP undergrad, but more for a degree that has some backbone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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NP: I don't see any issue with my kid having multiple roommates or even living at home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Same here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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same. it does help not to live in NYC or other major city, though. I live in a small town and there are nurses, teachers, doctors, retail workers, secretaries, etc and most of us can do stuff like pay for their kids to play rec soccer or go to the local town pool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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This. We're in Chicago in a very nice neighborhood. Our DD wants to live in a place like Akron, Ohio. She likes small cities, and I think she'd even be happy to live in a small town. She's not going to need to attend Harvard to afford living there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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limited employment opportunities in small towns like Akron. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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Me too. But DH is more caught up in the whole thing. DC not so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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I completely agree with you. I am more concerned with raising happy, independent, kind children. The school thing means very little to me. Some of the most successful people I know went to public grammar schools and large state schools. THE most successful person I know is an innovative genius, blue collar background, public grammar/high school and SUNY. Conversely, I know a lot of adults who went to "TT" schools and completely failed to launch or worse. It doesn't matter. Health, happiness, kindness is what I am chasing for my kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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NP: Yes. It is great to be able to pass tests and write great papers, but that really isn't the professional world. One of the brilliant people we know could never handle the pressure of deadlines, which are constant in any profession, and now holes up writing papers on esoteric aspects of the law. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Only my opinion: The more educated and successful you are, the more you see the advantages of having an education. And, if, e.g., people in your social circle are with Big Law, Big Consulting, Big Finance, you'll see that those people very frequently have degrees from TT schools. Booz Allen is not recruiting at Missoula...Booz is recruiting at U of C. Those jobs come with major dollars, and major stress. For some people who are very driven and who crave a very driven lifestyle (my husband is one), this is a very satisfying life. For others, it is total misery. Not everyone needs to make half a million a year or even a hundred thousand. UB represents a small segment of the country...many people are happy making far less, being teachers, social workers, nurses, technicians, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Well that's a weird backhanded insult from someone who is living off of her husband's stated ambition. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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Juat because OR married a successful man doesn’t mean you should be attacking her. I think her comment is valid. People with TT education carry themselves differently than the rest of us, and I mean that as a compliment. Whether or not they are happy, I have no clue. But I’d rather be miserable and successful/rich, than miserable and barely making ends meet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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I didn't see this as insulting at all. She's just plainly speaking the truth. Not everybody is suited to the stress of a high-earning job. I'm not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:05 AM Flag
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I work in recruiting at a top investment bank and we recruit at state schools, SLACs and Ivies. Obviously not at schools you've never heard of, but the big state schools? Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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There is a school in our city (not NYC), which prides itself on immense amounts of homework. Very few of those kids go onto TT universities. They are so burnt out that they rebel at the thought of 4 more years of grinding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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Another aspect: No one wants their kid to struggle. I spent the first 10 years living in crappy apartments in crappy neighborhoods with crappy roommates. It took a while to get established in my career, I wanted to save money for a downpayment for an apartment and I was not living well. Not starving, but buying consignment clothes, shopping at Aldi, walking everywhere. As my income increased, I really appreciated every new acquisition and comfort. I know I should be prepared to let our DS live badly, but I don't know if I could do that or if he could. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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Don't you remember some of that struggle being what formed the core of who you are? Didn't it teach you grace, humor, and compassion for those who have less? If kids don't struggle in their 20's how will they ever appreciate what they have? My SIL never struggled -- her parents paid for everything, all her apartments, all her extras. Then her DH did, and she never worked again after meeting him. Twenty years of not struggling later, she is the most bitter and depressed person I know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Flame me. Mom of SN dd trying to help her do a last minute study guide for all of the colonial/Revolutionary War period. I don't mind because it's helping me remember/learn about how all these moving parts went together, but it's weird. She should be doing this but it makes no difference. We're just trying to get her HS degree without too much bloodshed as she gets into the higher years. At least I can't take the test for her, but it would be nice if she came out with a C and not an F. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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You post a lot. You sound like a great mom and our dd sounds awesome [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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I know. I post a lot. But dd is on all my social media so I can't post this kind of stuff for obvious reasons. You are my fellow parents who get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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SN mom here, too. I figure that a lot of what DS is required to learn in high school is useless. I want him to have a basic understanding of history, to read well enough to function in society and hopefully to take pleasure from reading, to manage his money, to regulate his emotions. I don't think he will ever use geometry or knowledge of Egyptian gods. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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I get it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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You are a great mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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your sense of humor and love for your kid comes through, no flaming here! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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We are all just trying to survive here, you are doing the best you can for your child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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OP. Here's what I'm up against: DD just asked "Didn't Alexander Hamilton write a play?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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LOL. She sounds awesome. And FWIW, I teach students at a community college and that's totally something they would ask. And they aren't particularly special needs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:19 AM Flag
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You know what? I think it's fine. I did my own work but didn't remember it later on. I was a book nerd. So what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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OP. I have also been trying to instill in her that checks and balances and separation of powers is like "Rock Paper Scissors" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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She just asked how we go on and who wins if it's all "rock paper scissors" and I said it's the whole point. We're always balancing and checking each other. She actually got that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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OP. Thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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9:20 and I have to get up tomorrow so early. I wrote 4 pages trying to boil down Wiki pages and learned a lot. She's watching a lot of schoolhouse rock tonight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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She literally asked me how a bill becomes a law and I almost tripped over myself trying to pull it up on youtube lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:16 AM Flag
[ - ] If you could do more work by taking taxis to and from client meetings, would you do it? Is it bad for the environment? Is it bad for my health? It would push me over 60 hours a week of work. Does anyone have a car service they use that can consistently pick you up at specific times? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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the taxis are diving around anyway. but they are bad for the environment and you are supporting that. do you need the money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I make six figures but more is always better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 01.24.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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